#worked out well i think

[baronessblixen]

My Prompt: Mulder afraid of getting bald/his hair turning grey and Mulder worrying he needs Viagra

Set in the revival, season 10-ish. It's Mulder's birthday and he worries about things.

Fictober Day 13 | Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2022 | Wc: 1,295

Growing Old (With You)

The sun’s not quite up yet when he opens his eyes to the new day and the new year of life. Another trip around the sun and once more, he’s a year older. For once, he feels like it too. When in the past he bounced back from their strenuous work easily enough, he now needs longer to recuperate. Much longer.

He sits up in bed with a soft groan and rubs his eyes. His vision is blurry so he reaches for his glasses on his bedside table. He blinks a few times and yawns, deciding he’s officially old.

55 years old.

20 years ago he didn’t think he’d ever reach that age. Now, here he is. In the bathroom, he stares at himself in the mirror. He still looks good. Right? Well, he looks okay at least. There’s still enough hair on his head to make it work.

Leaning in closer, cursing the light, he inspects every single one, trying to spot the traitors. The ones that are gray. A while ago, while their flight was delayed, Scully read him an article about gray hair. She had glanced at him then, as if observing him like a piece of evidence. Now he’s doing the same to himself. He knows he’s at that age. Past that age, really.

The longer he looks, the more gray he will find. One day – and he fears that day will come sooner rather than later – his head of hair will be completely gray, only a strand of brown here and there.

Still checking his hair, he hears the front door downstairs open and close. His body tenses. He may be 55 years old today, but he’s still the same person he’s always been. That’s why he doesn’t lock his door out here in the middle of nowhere. Scully has reminded him repeatedly that he’s inviting trouble in, but so far he’s been fine. Until now. And on his birthday of all days.

He’s on his way to grab his gun when he hears the intruder mutter a furious ‘fuck’ in the kitchen, making him grin. Not bothering to get dressed, he goes downstairs, the stairs creaking loudly.

“When you said I was inviting trouble in,” he says, unable to hide his smile. “Were you talking about yourself?”

“Very funny, Mulder,” she says. “It’s a good thing I brought coffee because your machine still hates me.”

“It doesn’t hate you. It’s just particular.”

“Much like its owner, hm?” She grabs the collar of his shirt to pull him down to her and presses a soft kiss to his lips. She tastes like the pumpkin spice lattes she’s been getting lately. His Scully, still following trends. He may not care for the taste himself, but he loves her taste. Her lips, her skin, her everything. Just thinking about it, about her, wakes up his cock and it twitches in his boxers.

“Happy birthday, Mulder,” Scully says, stroking his arm.

“This a nice surprise, seeing you here.” She hands him his coffee and he takes a sip. It’s perfect, just like he loves it. He gives her an appreciative smile in return.

“How are you feeling?”

“Old,” he admits, watching Scully chuckle before she takes a sip from her fancy beverage. Compared to him she’s a spring chicken, barely over 50. What if he’s getting too old for her? He takes her in, biting his bottom lip, because his lower regions have opinions, too. She’s dressed casually, one of his favorite sights. Her jeans fit perfectly, hugging her curves in the best way. Her sweater, too. He can’t help but wonder if she dressed like this for him.

“You’re not old, Mulder,” she assures him.

“Tell my back that,” he mumbles. “Or my hair.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

“It’s graying.”

“Of course it is. It’s a natural process.”

“Easy for you to say. Your hair looks perfect.”

“Well, thank you. You know I’ve been dyeing my hair for years, Mulder.”

“That’s not the same,” he says, sitting down at the table.

“Let me have a look.” Scully walks over to him and runs her fingers through his hair as if checking him for head trauma or open wounds. “Hmm,” she says, scratching his scalp. He’d complain, maybe, if it didn’t feel so damn good.

“What’s the verdict, doc?”

“There’s a bit of gray, Mulder. But you can wear it,” she assures him. “Can I sit?” She asks him, and for a moment he’s confused; there are three empty chairs around the table. He realizes that’s not what she means.

“Yes”, he replies softly and she slips onto his lap, looping her arms around his neck. His arms go around her, too, just like they’ve always done. It’s a Pavlovian response by now. She smiles at him, smoothing down the hair she’s ruffled.

“Is this a good idea?” He asks her, tightening his hold on her in case she decides to run away from him.

“I don’t know,” she admits. “But it’s your birthday.” He decides not to question it and accept her being here, her sharing herself with him, as the gift that it is. “You really feel old?” She asks him.

“I’ve been feeling old for years, I think. What’s another year, eh? It just makes me think.”

“About your hair?”

“That, too. About how long I’ll be able to do this. Can I still run around chasing monsters with gray hair?”

“I don’t think the monsters care.”

“They might if they’re faster than me. What if I’m going bald, Scully?”

“Are you?” Her fingers are back in his hair. “Looks like a full head of hair to me. You worry too much.” The fingers wander from his hair to his forehead where they run over his skin as if they possessed magic power. Being with Scully has always made him feel younger and stronger. She makes him feel like he’s more than he ever thought he could be.

“Just wait til you’re my age,” he jokes.

“55 looks good on you.” She proves her point with a kiss on his nose. “I can only hope to look as good as you when I turn 55.”

“You will. And I will remind you of it. If I’m invited to your birthday, that is.”

“You’re always invited to my birthday.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Yes,” she says, sealing it with a kiss to his mouth. This time it’s not sweet, it’s demanding. Her tongue runs over his bottom lip, begging to be let in. He welcomes her. They haven’t made out in a while, but muscle memory takes over. It’s as if no time at all has passed. He refuses to let himself think about what this means – or doesn’t mean.

“You’re still thinking too much,” Scully mumbles against his lip, gently biting into it. Her hand has wandered under his shirt, searching for skin. She’s neither shy nor patient. But Mulder’s body is surprisingly slow to catch up.

“I’m an old man, Scully,” he says. “Have some patience.”

“I always thought you were the impatient one,” she says, her hand moving lower, pausing at his waistband.

“Some parts of my anatomy are still waking up. Scully, what if I…”

“What if you what?” She leans back to be able to see his face.

“What if I need… Viagra?” He whispers the word and shudders inwardly.

“That’s never been a problem before,” Scully says, her hand slipping into his boxers. “I don’t think it will be one any time soon.”

And Scully is right. As soon as her hand wraps around him, his body is on board. Every single part of him.

“Let’s go upstairs,” Scully says. “I think your back would appreciate a soft mattress.”

As always, she is right.

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

[doctorsiren]

The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier

(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)

(wips under cut)

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

I love how on Tumblr, "media literacy" has become "Um, just because someone writes about this doesn't mean they're endorsing this. I hate all these media puritans ruining everything."

I'm sad to inform you that knowing when and whether an author is endorsing something, implying something, saying something, is also part of media literacy. Knowing when they are doing this and when they're not is part of media literacy. Assuming that no author has ever endorsed a bad thing is how you fall for proper gander. It's not media literacy to always assume that nobody ever has agreed with the morally reprehensible ideas in their work.

Sometimes, authors are endorsing something, and you need to be aware when that happens, and you also need to be aware when you're doing it as an author. All media isn't horny dubcon fanfic where you and the author know it's problematic IRL but you get off to it in the privacy of your brain. Sometimes very smart people can convince you of something that'll hurt others in the real world. Sometimes very dumb people will romanticize something without realizing they're doing it and you'll be caught up in it without realizing that you are.

Being aware of this is also media literacy. Being aware of the narrative tools used to affect your thinking is media literacy. Deciding on your own whether you agree with an author or not is media literacy. Enjoying characters doing bad things and allowing authors to create flawed or cruel characters for the sake of a story is perfectly fine, but it is not the same as being media literate. Being smug about how you never think an author has bad intentions tells me you're edgy, not that you're media literate. You can't use one rule to apply to all media. That's not how media literacy works. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Aheem heem. Anyway.

[mipexch]

dinner (?) plans

[chloesimaginationthings]

There's doomed yuri... in my FNAF ruin?

[movedtodykedvonte]

*Spidey and the Sinister Six having their usual fight*

Doc Ock, landing a hit: You’re getting slow Spider-Man! Age finally catching up to you?

Spider-Man: You wish! I haven’t even hit my 30s! From those costumes I can already tell I failed to save you guys from those midlife crises! Sorry by the way.

Vulture: Watch it wallcr- wait… Did you just say your not in your thirties yet?

Spider-Man: Surprised that this spiders so young and spry? Well-

Electro: Dude I’ve been fighting you for at least 5 fucking years! How old even are you?

Shocker, joking cause he’s the only one who picked up no grown adult acts likes Spidey: Don’t swear in-front of the boy you don’t want him to pick it up.

Rhino: Christ! You’re tellin me I almost crushed some 12-year-olds skull all those years ago?

Spider-Man, regretting his quipping: I was not that young! Like just starting freshman year but-

Sandman, horrified as he’s the only one with a kid and dad instincts(as of my iteration): I could’ve killed a kid…

Shocker, genuinely curious: Are you even old enough to drink? Cruel to kill a man who ain’t had his first drink yet.

Electro: Please tell us you’re at least over 25 as of this fight. Hell, I’ll take over 21!

Spider-Man:….

Sandman, realizing just how young he really is: Oh my god.

Spider-Man: My birthday’s coming up soon so I guess it counts?

Doc Ock, exacerbated: It. Does. Not!

Vulture: What would your mother think if she knew her son was out here risking his life telling poorly constructed jokes?

Spider-Man, offended cause it quips slap: 1. My jokes are great 2. She and my dad are dead so-

Sandman, hysterical cause holy shit he almost killed a kid orphan: OH MY GOD!

[canisalbus]

✦ Coffee Shop AU ✦

[thunderpot]

Macbeth moshang,

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[bacchuschucklefuck]

class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)

[tacit-semantics]

Fuck it. Crochet cartilaginous stingray skeleton

[synthsays]

Monster Falls girlies how we feeling about this one.

Happy Fiddleford Friday Y'all

(Bonus art under cut)

And one for the fiddauthor peeps

[elodieunderglass]

Horror isekai where Perceiving the Weird Eldritch Thing gets you catapulted into a nightmare labyrinth of puzzle-solving.

I.e Those Who Perceive The Hunt of the Goblin King Must Partake In The Labyrinth and Can Only Be Freed If They Complete It In One Day and One Night. By Fae Law. For Reasons.

But the definition of “perception” clearly needs to be updated because some normal guy simply films the Hunt of the Goblin King Behind Arby’s, and puts it on Facebook -

No, not instagram or TikTok, it’s important that it be Facebook -

Because the rules are pretty clear, “the rules are the rules” as is carved ominously in elvish runes above the grim gate, and the Contract is Sealed. and so therefore the guy and 25 of their most random real-life acquaintances must run the gauntlet together. It’s Some Guy, their immediate neighbors, their first partner’s mom, their friends from hobby Facebook groups (oh this poor guy and their hobbies; the elderly birdwatchers from Facebook and the young up-and-coming drag king community), their random teen kid niece, college friends, a dog who also watched the video, a couple consisting of a woman who is the guy’s Facebook friend and showed her husband the video, and the husband doesn’t even know Some Guy, so he’s in the labyrinth and absolutely furious about being forced to be involved, and they proceed to break up over the course of the puzzle.

It’s important that the narrative keeps trying to be a sexy dark horror isekai! but within this the comedic reality of Catherine, 52, the guy’s horse-riding instructor, being passionately involved in escape-room-style puzzle solving and grappling with minor goblins. They are in fact speedrunning the gauntlet.

The Goblin King finally has to say: all right, actually, I only really set all this up to fuck with one (1) guy at a time, thanks for your willingness to participate, but I think all 25 of you can consider the gauntlet fully run.

And the group would be quite hurt by that. The rules are the rules. We have a contract, actually. Let Catherine cook.

[beybuniki]

warm welcome

[zosanbrainrot]

zosantober day 12 - spicy

mandatory supplies stop