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itslmdee · 5 years ago

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Fiction: Hugging is a Human Right

He was young enough to accept this dystopian existence in a way no adult could – or should...We should have fought harder, Maya thought. But no one had.

Maya was careful to wait until they'd left the shopping centre and turned onto the side street away from the designated Public Gathering Space (PSG: Commercial) before she pulled down the mandatory face covering. She couldn't afford another fine; three months ago a near hysterical shop worker had screamed at her for not being behind a line that had been so worn as to be near invisible, and demanded her citizen card. The fine had been taken immediately from Maya's account and left her almost overdrawn, and two more fines within a nine month period meant jail time and her son permanently placed in foster care.

Still, she wanted to breathe freely and to feel the air on her skin. It was only a few yards from the side street to the dirt track by the slow moving river where the only CCTV camera had been vandalised. This desolate place, away from the traffic and most pedestrians, was one of the few places free of the government's oversight.

She bent and pulled down her son's dinosaur patterned mask and held his hand tightly, the other hand clutching her shopping as they walked along the riverbank. She'd been able to buy him strawberries this week but many items had been out of stock and everything cost more than a year ago. Her budget was struggling as the government payouts decreased but the restrictions did not.

Across the river was a playground, the gates still padlocked. Graffiti covered the roundabout, the climbing frame was nearly devoid of paint, and the swings had been burned, the rubber seats melted and the metal struts scarred and twisted.

"I liked playing on the swings," Joey said matter of factly. It broke her heart that he didn’t even seem sad anymore at the loss of this simple, joyful, activity. This was his life now and he was young enough to accept this dystopian existence in a way no adult could – or should.

"I know darling." She squeezed at his hand as they passed under the road bridge, cars thundering overhead. Further graffiti lined the concrete walls, mostly tags and crude cartoons but there were a few slogans of the minimal resistance movement urging "No New Normal" and "Wake Up!"

With protests banned and social media censored the resistance had struggled against a full blown media hysteria which whipped up public opinion to demand this new world. One in which cash was outlawed as dirty, unreliable, untraceable. Replaced with the mandatory citizen cards which let the government know every single thing you purchased and every single place you went.

A world in which human contact was now too dangerous to exist and so there were no family visits, no dating, no restaurants, no playgroups, no concerts nor sports – had there ever truly been a time you could sit in a packed stadium or a field and watch someone play a guitar or toss a ball? So dangerous that getting within arm's reach of another human was forbidden, and faces had to be covered in any place deemed to be a Public Gathering Space (PSG).

She still hugged Joey but the public service announcements that ran before every Home Learning Module were priming him to reject this simple act of affection; "Hugs are for babies," cartoon rabbits said scornfully. Young children might need touch to survive but the sooner they were weaned of it the better, was the prevailing opinion.

The light coloured soil of the river bank reminded Maya somewhat of the seaside. She barely recalled the feel of sand on her toes or the salt smell of the sea. There were a handful of beaches not designated Public Gathering Spaces and she longed to visit one and walk, bare faced and barefoot on the sand and paddle in the sea, but no beach at all was within walking distance of her home and unnecessary travel was strictly forbidden. No train ticket could be purchased with her citizen card without her providing proof of it being an essential journey.

"Duck," Joey said, pointing and Maya smiled as the sight of the emerald headed mallard swimming along the river, free in a way she and Joey would never be.

She loved Joey and he was the only reason she got up in the mornings now, but if the Safety Measures had happened before he'd been born she knew she would never have brought a child into this world.

Her friend Clara felt differently. Clara was actually an acquaintance selected by JUNO, the computer who had replaced all the messy business of human affairs with algorithmic computations that facilitated virtual contact with those deemed compatible. Maya had doubts about their compatibility especially given Clara's recent calls.

Clara had been video chatting with one of JUNO's matches for her, a man named Jake, for several months now and was thinking of asking for him to father her a child via IVF, the only safe (i.e. permitted) way to reproduce. Maya had not been able to convince Clara otherwise and didn't dare push harder lest the communications, always at risk of being monitored, got her flagged for dangerous behaviour or another misinformation offence.

They reached the main road and turned toward home, Maya and Joey both pulling up their masks again before they passed the "PSG: Residential Zone" sign.

We should have fought harder, Maya thought as she opened the door to the tiny flat. I should have done more. But everyone kept saying it was necessary and temporary and anyone who disagreed was a murderer…we didn't just let them take our rights, we gave them away willingly.

Such thoughts were such treasonous dissent that she would never voice them aloud, never write them in a diary, let alone post them online. Others had to feel the same way, but they were kept silenced.

"You were away from home for: 1hr and 43 minutes", the Home Assistant flashed at her in red text as she locked the door behind her. This was well within her limited rights, so Maya ignored it, though Clara took great pride in keeping her time away from home to an absolute minimum, gushing when she could keep it to zero minutes.

Maya scrubbed her hands and began to make lunch while Joey washed up and checked his Home Learning Schedule. Her heart lifted when she looked out of the kitchen window and saw a new piece of graffiti spray-painted on the fence of the housing tenements opposite: "Hugging iz a Human Rigt". It was vandalism and it was misspelt and yet Maya knew that others out there – young people, most likely – knew what had been taken from them and, better still, were furious about it.

Perhaps there was still hope.

#my fiction #writing #short story #dystopia #writingwednesday

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xottzot · 8 years ago

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2017-09(SEP)-12th-Tuesday (later)-AFTER SEEING_DELETING THAT FALSE LYING MESSAGES IN MY ACCOUNT. ) (edited later)

2017-09(SEP)-12th-Tuesday (later)-AFTER SEEING_DELETING THAT FALSE LYING MESSAGES IN MY ACCOUNT.

I was so incensed and upset about that shitty false message in my Tumblr blog that itself was trying to be made out by me, that I forgot to emntion a few things about WHY the message was abolutely NOT BY ME AT ALL.......

Firstly I DID mention how I accidently put in all my messages litle fragments of text that are mispelled and typos. (and that's because I am so forever tired and bloody well at the end of my tether in being alive without being with dear Fliss whom I love.)

But the BULLSHIT message that I DID NOT TYPE AT ALL OR SENT had OTHER STUFF in it that clearly showed (what little I saw of it), how it was utterly false and lying and NOT done by me.

I REALLY FEAR that dear Fliss (or someone she falsely puts far too much trust in), has read that or other false messages NOT done by me, and dear Fliss or others have assumed lies. (as if I was not in enough HELL)

I'm sorry about this message and my writing, because I am so VERY VERY tired. And I'm being constantly 'GOT AT'.

And in addition at the moment as I type this, poor dear Sam & Max are dancing all about the house and them wanting to jump back onto the bed, andor be fed from some bare bread that I've got sitting on the kitchen table that is to be my only food for much of today inside this VERY COLD hovel.

(YES, they DO each eat such stuff as bare bread). Fliss and I trained them since they were small puppies to accept the foods WE would offer them. And because they trust Fliss and I, they accept such food. - But BOTH dogs are going off all their foods. Including stuff they always happily ate, even their own dog food.

In that FALSE MESSAGE THIS MORNING, there WERE things in it that were talking about topics that are COMPLETELY WRONG, UTTERLY WRONG, AND HAVE NO CONNECTION TO REALITY, AND MY PERSONAL LIFE, AND FLISS'S PERSONAL LIFE. BUT IT WAS ALL BEING PASSED_OFF AS 'FACT'. -- This is a clear indication it was NOT done by me.

ANYONE who knows me would see the BULLSHIT straight away.

Nobody else, as far as I know, has any access to any of my accounts. - Except perhaps Fliss (Felicity Anne Carthew), and if she is doing anything then I have no knowledge of it at all. - And if any of her supposed 'friends', andor thugs, have access to her stuff, I have no idea about any of that either.

Whoever had created that message, seems to have farmed or trawled or datamined through my stuff and created a psuedo message of the psuedo stuff and then tried to pass it off as reality when it obvioulsy never was. -- All that was what alerted me to the fact that the message was done NOT BY ME.

I would NEVER lie and then live a lie.

All my life I've told the truth. And because I've done that, I've suffered GREATLY from doing that.

Believe me, the old adages about you suposedly alway telling the truth and you will be 'better' for it are shit, because I have seen and experienced since late 2015 that despite me always telling the truth about everything...I AM STILL SUFFERING FOR DOING SO AND AT AN EVER INCREASNG RATE OF EVER TELLING THE TRUTH. - SUFFERING....AND SO ARE the two dogs of dear Fliss and mine (Sam & Max) who are suffering incredibly because Fliss abandoned us so terribly.

But that message I saw this morning was spouting BULLSHIT info as if what it was purporting was all true.

For fucks sake....as if I am not in enough damned HELL without being with dear Fliss!

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I've tried to extract through my web browsers cache to retrieve that BULLSHIT message, but nothing works. Absolutely nothing. So I've had to give up. It's gone forever.

I wonder when the next one will appear because it seems as though it's a concerted effort to use against me for their own ends.

And YES, I HAVE been threatened before by an unknown. - I've written about that in my blog several times and also long ago.

And THAT crashed me close to suicide which has never left me.

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In Septmeber 2015, Fliss had a terrible breakdown, but nobody believes me. Fliss was doped-up on stolen painillers at the same time as overdoing on Stilnox sleeping pills...but nobody believes me.

And one night very late in bed, dear Sam and dear Max were asleep on the bed (as always as was normal), with her when she was having TERRIBLE NIGHTMARES. - When I went to go to bed, it ended up with her wetting uncontrollably all over the floor of several rooms and then her subsequently attacking me. - It was during all of that, that dear Sam and dear Max thought she was 'playing' and so they playfully jumped all over her in bed. But she lolled about in her drug-induced state and they kept jumping upon her, resulting in Fliss getting all manner of bruises from the heavy guard dogs.

In her deranged state, or because she was using it as an insane excuse to herself and others, she blamed ME for attacking her when that NEVER EVER happened at all. NOT AT ALL. (Fliss later recanted by voice but only to me by mobile phone) that she indeed had imagined it all, but once again she was trying to blame any and everything rather than face up the fact she was so heavily overdoing with those pills. And Stilnox is a world-die known clinical factor is creating tremendous hallucinations and delusions. She accepted that in part. -- We were reconciling. We were privately reconciling.

Fliss worried she needed AGAIN to 'get away' and sort herself out. And so we peacefully aranged in talking to keep in touch AGAIN because this was the SECOND TIME that dear Fliss had succumbed to her terrible woes in a a few years time.

We were very amicable. I WANTED to go to her and aid her, but she insisted on doing everything herself AGAIN. - Fliss is a terribly strong-willed person to the point of her own self-destruction rather than admit to anyone any 'weakness' within her.

And then she fled rigt across to the OTHER SIDE OF AUSTRALIA from here to be with her parents and family, who were totally ignorant of all of Fliss's crazy medical addictions, and her terrible tragedies in life here, and our terrible life trying to struggle to live. - Fliss ALWAYS lied to everyone about how good she was doing financially, personally, and in life. And Fliss felt TERRIBLE aboutlying about everything. It was yet another factor that was destroying her. Whilst was open and truthful, Fliss was concealed and lying, yet so very honest in so many other things and very earnest and true and sincere and loving. That was the side she wanted them to see. And it made her happy.

We were arranging to be together, to have a new life, way from all this HELL. But I think that dear Fliss had enormous pressures brought to bear upon her, both emotionally, financally, socially, and personally. And she suddenly became completely DIFFERENT person, not even wanting to talk to me in voice. And things got worse from there.

In dear Fliss's deranged mindset at the time, brought on by her medical conditions, she was spouting off her delusions to any and everybody that would listen and act for her, so she could get anything she wanted, including the love and suport of her own family that had been denied her (or so she thought) for so many many years. THAT was one of the things she anguished to me in absolute privacy for many years. And which I was always trying to repair, both overtly and secretly for her. (SO MUCH FOR ALL MY DEVOTION TO DEAR FLISS....SHE HAS WON AT THE EXPENSE OF ME!!!!)

Now.....dear Fliss (as far as I know because I have no contact with her or anyone), she now has everything she wants, or they think what she wants.

Because dear Fliss must have been pining for dear Sam & Max, suddenly Fliss was found a position 'volunatrily' employed for a dog refuge place in Tamworth. - Or was all that a lie too?

Was it a lie, like Fliss being given a job at a service station in New South Wales after leaving us all dead here in Western Australia? Fliss HATED working at the service stations here in Western Australia due to the terrible treatment she got from them. (REALLY BAD TREATMENT that contributed greatly to her mental and physcial breaksdowns (PLURAL!)) - But when Fliss got to News South Wales, did somebody, a social worker perhaps?, or somebody in authority in her over-controlling family, hear Fliss's 'history' and thought a service station job would be just the thing for her in New South Wales?

I am NOT sure of ANYTHING. All commuications with dear Fliss have been totally, utterly torn away from us, and a glib, anonymous messenger was smashed against me and who threatend me afterwards for trying to contact dear Fliss. - All this DESPITE dear Fliss and I previously communicating and arranging to get back together far away from this hellhole in Western Australia that crushed and hurt us both over 10 years or more that that NOBODY has any idea about or wants to ever acknowledge, no........Fliss was then made out to be some utterly false 'victim' of doomestic violence, when that was NEVER EVER the case. NEVER! - I sacrificed and did do much for dear Fliss on a daily and hourly basis. I sacrificed my sleep because I had to alwasy be watching over dear Fliss and stop her from suffering by her out of-control-sleep habits that threatened to have her suffocate in bed andor to have heart attacks. I was doing that for MANY MANY YEARS. And Fliss always sincerely thanked me for it all and relied upon me.

The REAL reasons for dear Fliss's woes were medical and mental, things that she and her family want NOBODY TO KNOW ABOUT...NOBODY.

And I fear that in Fliss's damaged mental state at the time then AFTER she had contacted me and assured me we'd be together again.....that her FAMILY pressured Fliss, or used other means, even professional medical means to kowtow her to their bidding. Fliss was ALWAYS a great embaresment for them all she told me ever since I knew her.

For all my devotions and love and everythng, suddenly I was smashed, falsley accused, threatend, And so from that moment onwards was I was made to suffer. And so it is I have been sufferng INCREDIBLY TERRIBLY since late 2015. So has poor Sam and poor Max been suffering.

After Fliss was in New South Wales, when that thug person intitially contacted me via email of course I was suspicious, but I was grasping at any contact to have with dear Fliss that I could. He was acting as a go-between he made out. - And at first he was cordial and polite and listened, and said the right things in email to me. But all of a sudden he turned upon me and viciously attacked me in emails. And anytime I tried to do anything, it was HIM that would suddenly jump in and attack me yet again and again.

First came those private email exchanges between myself and that male person who I did NOT know, who NEVER gave me his real name or ANY details at all of himself, but who kept claiming that he was 'talking for Fliss' because he said that 'Fliss didn't want to talk to me.'. (those were HIS words, NOT anything ever said by dear Fliss to me) beforehand or ever afterwards.

And anytime I would say, "NOBODY knows any of what I'm telling you. Ask Fliss if you do not believe me. But perhaps it's better you do not speak to her about these things because I'm so worried about her mental state of which NOBODY else knows about."

And then he supposedly told her everything I said in confidence!!!

I DO NOT KNOW AT ALL WHAT THAT THUG SAID TO DEAR FLISS OR THE LIES HE UTTERED.

And afterwards ALL communictions with dear Fliss were cut off from her end. Her emails to me had become extremely erratic, VERY short, and seemed to be as a show for others, not as any mormal conversation would be. - That THUG suposedly even PHYSICALLY had dear Fliss's mobile phone! - Anytime I tried to talk privately to dear Fliss, or talk to her via text-messaging, all I got was HIM giving me more threats, and goaded me to suicide.

Even me sending private email messages to Fliss, even me sending private messages in phone messages to Fliss, ALL WERE INTERCEPTED BY THAT THUG and used against me. The pleading, the outright heartspoken TRUTHS of mine were all utterly and cruelly ridiculed and spat back at me. And I was shouted at that I was a liar and I that should kill myself.

It was more than any person could handle.

And the very things that were smashed against me were the things that I had protected dear Fliss from for MANY MANY years by others!

From that moment in time onwards I crashed. I crashed in mind, body and spirit. - In September 2015, I had been physically actively preparing everything to go and join Fliss in New South Wales, and I had been doing the VERY things dear Fliss herself had been asking of me to do of all that. I had no idea where exactly I was going to go and join Fliss in our new life together far away from all the hells that had assailed us here in Western Australia. She was vague about that. And then I was left just rudderless and adrift. And so I myself had a terrible breakdown, despite not ever having one in my entire life.

Fliss herself was constantly having breakdowns in the latter years we were together brought on upon by her mental and medical conditions, but we at least were together and we worked through them together. She kept them secret from all others. - But EVERY TIME I would build dear Fliss back up, something else would come along and destroy her. And it was NEVER anything I was responsible for.

Dear Fliss WAS seeing a counsellor for her medical problems including her mental states, but as I witnessed for myself, Fliss was LYING to the counsellor and just stringing the counsellor along with LIES and anythng the counsellor expected to hear from Fliss. - I argued with Fliss about that. AND I WAS THEN ACCUSSED AS IF I WAS TRYING TO CONTROL DEAR FLISS AND MAKE HER DO UNJUST BIDDING !!!

NOBODY believes that about dear Fliss and the counsellor now, and if they do, they keep utterly silent about it all. The counsellor was going to end her career in the profession and would no longer be able to see dear Fliss. THAT was also a large factor in Fliss having a terrible breakdown and overdosing herself on prescription drugs. And which lead up the the terrible night in Septmber 2015 between Fliss and myself and Fliss stormed out in supposed fear for her life. She ran of and obtained assistance from POLICE and authorities, and dear FLISS LIED AND LIED. It had all been planned out for weeks if not months in advance by her it seems. She had been financially stealing a LOT. And all that added to the stresses of everything.

And so when she took off, I was left destitute, but moreso, I was left utterly devastated, but I was always constantly trying to get us back together because I love Fliss so very very dearly and truly. STILL LOVE YOU DEAR FLISS.

I'm finding all this VERY emotional to talk about.

I tell the truth and nobody wants to believe me or help with Fliss and I.

I'm going to stop now this message post now.

I'm going to eat some bare plain bread and go to bed. Not to sleep because that is impossible. I am denied sleep.

I constantly have MANY dreams of death and dying and suicide. It fills me up all day and night.

I feel so terribly utterly betrayed and falsely accused and made to suffer.

All the VERY things that I helped Fliss to overcome have been smashed upon me.

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I fear...REALLY fear.....that poor dear Fliss has also been subject to such shit. And that perhaps is why she has kept us apart. - EVERYONE...and I do mean EVERYONE.....I have talked to just cannot believe how dear Fliss refuses to talk to me at all. And that includes professional people, and friends of Fliss, and all manner of people. - NOBODY can figure out what the hell is going on.

Add all THAT HELL to the HELL that is forever going on around this hellhole.......and you can see I am in HELL........

West Australian POLICE arrested somebody or somebodies from the CRIMINAL HOUSEHOLD today not long after midday noon and carted them away today. Whilst they were doing that, the POLICE were being harangued by one of the CRIMINALS and attempted to stop what the POLICE were doing.

P.--Tuesday-12-September-2017---I love you Fliss and want to be with you. -- And nobody has ANY idea of the HELL I am in or cares. I love YOU Fliss, Felicty Ann Carthew of New South Wales, Australia. I ALWAYS HAVE. I NEVER GAVE UP ON YOU. I SACRIFICED SO MUCH FOR YOU, EVERYTHING I COULD. I defended you so MUCH from SO MANY even when you were totally unaware I was doing so. - I NEED YOU DEAR FLISS. I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER IN MY LIFE....TRULY. - My dear deceased much-loved gentle honest mother who I tried and did tell you some about (but I could only tell you a very tiny part of it all in a very tiny short space of time in great hurry and personal terrible anguish), she would be aghast at how I am being treated. - I LOVE YOU FLISS AND WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

--RED--

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