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#workers' international relief
if-you-fan-a-fire · 2 years
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“Manitoba Farmers Are Going Home in Trucks,” Kingston Whig-Standard. October 19, 1932. Page 11.   ---- WINNIPEG, Oct. 19 — In trucks supplied by the Workers' International Relief Association, 500 farmers who marched to Winnipeg to place economic grievances before Premier John Bracken were homeward sound today.
Refused Government assistance of free transportation home, some of the marchers started back to the land late Tuesday, and today other members of the Farmers' Unity League, who could not be accommodated immediately, will journey homeward
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sayruq · 5 months
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Three days ago, the Israeli military dropped flyers ordering displaced people and residents of Rafah to leave. In the orders where people were told to move out of Rafah, the military said it was “about to operate with force against the terror organisations in the area”. A UN estimate says there are 1.2 million people sheltering in dire conditions in Rafah, Gaza's southern city. The "full-blown famine" that has taken hold in the north of Gaza has spread to the south, Cindy McCain, the head of the World Food Programme, confirmed over the weekend. There are roughly 200 Palestinians that are being forcibly displaced from Rafah every hour, the UN Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees (Unrwa) said on Wednesday. During an online press briefing, medical doctors and humanitarian aid workers reporting from the ground in Gaza spoke about the impossible feat of moving people from Rafah, as people are ridden by famine plus a collapsed transportation and healthcare system. "There are children and elderly that are so starved that they can barely walk. These people cannot just relocate to another area, to so-called 'safe zones'. It is not possible," Alexandra Saieh, head of humanitarian policy from Save the Children, said. Several aid workers have expressed that there is no "safe" area in the Gaza Strip for people to relocate to. "The concept of safe zones is a lie," Helena Marchal, from Medecins du Monde, said. Aid workers also reiterated the difficulty of getting aid both into Gaza and then distributing it. Both the Rafah and the Kerem Shalom crossings, through which most aid reached the besieged Strip, have closed since Sunday evening. Roads across Gaza are largely destroyed or blocked by people sheltering, contributing to the difficulty of movement of both goods and people. Only a very limited number of routes, especially between the north and south, are available for humanitarian use, Jeremy Konyndyk, from Refugees International, explained. Another issue is overcrowding. "In Deir al-Balah and the Mawasi area on the outskirts of the Rafah and Khan Younis governorates, there is barely any space. There are tents everywhere, on the beach, on the sidewalks, the streets, the graveyards, the courtyards of the hospitals, in the courtyards of the schools," Ghada Alhaddad, from Oxfam International, said. Saieh explained that it took her team six weeks and four failed attempts to move a couple of hundred food parcels from Rafah to the north of Gaza. "One litre of fuel cost $40 yesterday," according to Ranchal. Fuel enters through the Rafah crossing. If the fuel is cut off, the aid operation collapses," Konyndyk said.
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batshit-auspol · 10 months
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So a bit of background first for our international followers: Clive Palmer is one of Australia's many mining billionaires who like to meddle in our country's politics, and as such he is utterly despised by all of Australia.
Picture for context:
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He is most commonly known online by the title "Fatty McFuckhead", (problematic as it may be) because he tried to sue a youtuber for $500,000 for calling him that - and he lost. So the name stuck.
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Up until his most recent foray into parliament, the legally certified Fuckhead was best known for his batshit business ventures, such as attempting to build "The Titanic 2" (failed) and trying to build a dinosaur theme park (also failed, but at least nobody got eaten by a T-Rex in this one).
For a very long time Clive played the role of sugar daddy to Australia's largest conservative party, the ironically named Liberal Party, until they had a falling out in 2012 after Clive claimed there was too much money influencing politics (lol), at which point he started his own party, days after saying he totally quit and wasn't fired and he only left because he didn't want to be a distraction.
His initial run at parliament was actually kinda successful, with Palmer's group winning 4 seats, plus a member from the "Motoring Enthusiasts Party" joined them too after accidentally getting elected and not knowing what the fuck to do.
Despite this initial success however, Palmer's party (which ran on basically no platform other than "I'm rich") hit an iceberg (titanic 2 achieved) and seven elected state and federal politicians quit within the first year.
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By the time the next federal election rolled around, only one Palmer party candidate was still running for re-election. The most successful of this group - Jaquie Lambie - quit to sit as an independant and is still in parliament today.
Here she is with a painting of herself strangling Clive (she sells signed copies of this)
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And here the senator is posting about liking sausage:
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Anyway, we're getting to the point: which is the yellow posters. By the 2016 election, just two years after forming, the party was in complete freefall. It won just 0.01% of the vote at their second election, and it was announced shortly after that Clive was quitting politics and the party was being shut down. Australia breathed a sigh of relief.
It was, of course, short lived.
Clive, in desperate need of attention, restarted the party for the 2019 election, fielding candidates in every seat and spending $60 million in advertising in an attempt to win votes.
Every single candidate lost.
It was in this campaign however that Australia really started to fall out of love with Palmer, because most of that $60 million went towards putting up the world's least compelling marketing billboards on almost every single free space in the country.
For a good six months this was basically the only thing you would see in Australia if you went outside:
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Clearly Graphic design is his passion. And yes, the genius did just straight up try and copy Trump's homework while changing a few words, hoping nobody would notice.
Very quickly these all got vandalised and it seemed the ad companies didn't care enough to replace them.
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We could go on posting examples, there are thousands, but the best is definitely the one Ikea put up shortly after Clive lost the election:
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In 2022, Clive's party contested the election AGAIN, this time also opting to send millions on spam text messages to every person in Australia begging for people to vote for him, as well as buying almost every youtube ad for a year, at the cost of $100 million.
He won a whopping one seat.
During this election Clive ran on an anti-lockdown, anti-vax platform with the slogan "freedom, freedom, freedom". That message, however, was slightly undermined when his goons, dressed in 'Freedom!' shirts, made national news for trying to beat up a protester who turned up at a rally dressed as an annoying text message, shouting "pay your workers" at Clive.
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As if that wasn't bad enough, at another rally Clive knocked himself unconscious while trying to jump up on stage, and then a few weeks later was rushed to hospital with covid, while his anti-vax ads were still in regular rotation on TV, at which point it was also leaked to the press that Palmer had been alledgedly trying to buy Hitler's car.
Utterly humiliated, the party deregistered again shortly after the election.
Can't wait until he runs again in 2025.
Anyway, on the other "Clive tweeting Miss Kobayashi's Dragon" thing, we have no idea what that means but here's a screencap:
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kquil · 11 months
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REMUS LUPIN | 23:59 ⏤"SHE'S MY WIFE"
SUM. : you bring remus his lunch with your daughter and come face to face with a new, very rude, intern
TAGS. : fluff ; modern au ; muggle au ; ceo remus ; wife reader ; reader is sooooo wifey ; remus is husband material too ; remus is also ceo material! ; daughter oc (emily) ; remus is daddy ; reader is mommy ; rude intern ; dorcas makes an appearance ; we love her
LENGTH : 1.1k
NOT PROOFREAD OR EDITED
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“Oh!” you smile at the new, young face you see at the front desk, having walked into the company building not too long ago with Remus’ lunch tucked away in your bag as your daughter marches forward in front of you, “Good noon,” Remus had briefly spoken about a new intern shadowing at the front desk earlier in the morning when you had breakfast together; you suppose that this was her. She looked very much like the part, professionally dressed and neat as a pin, though her level of make up was questionable. 
Despite your cheerful and friendly greeting, you were met with silence, suspecting eyes and straight, thin lips that were ever so slightly frowning. It was such an unfamiliar reaction that you were stunned into silence yourself, the tension and lack of a greeting back causing awkwardness to fill the air. You were so used to being received kindly by the usual staff that you didn’t know what to do with yourself when the new worker didn’t reply in kind. 
“Well?” she almost snaps, rather rudely. Her eyes weren’t on you but rather on your daughter, Emily, who stared warily up at her and clutched at your long, flowy skirt with unease.
“I-I’m sorry?” you stutter, further stunned by her discourtesy, your hand moving to cup the back of your daughter’s head as she presses her frightened face into your thigh. 
“Do you have an appointment or not?” she finally snaps and your brows furrow. The clock displayed on the wall behind her indicated that you were right on time for a shift change between the secretaries, with the former assistants going on lunch break and their succeeding secretaries arriving soon to take their place. Usually the exchange was seamless; you wonder what the issue was today. 
“Oh, no, I’m just here to—” she cuts you off with an exaggerated sigh and a roll of her eyes. 
“If you don’t have an appointment then why are you here?” her rude tone continues and she keeps cutting you off, “Do you want me to pass on a message? Want me to refer you to an office? Would you like me to make you an appointment? Tell me already, I don’t have all day,” you had been trying to inform her with every question she posed about your visit but she cut you off each time. Considering that she was the new intern, you were willing to excuse her behaviour due to her lack of experience but her candid judgement of you and your daughter made your blood boil. 
“You are very rude for someone who’s supposed to be the first representative people interact with when they enter—”
She narrows her eyes dangerously and leans over the counter somewhat, but you stand your ground, “That’s none of your business, my job is none of your business, just answer the question,” at this point, your dear Emily was tugging at your skirt and whining softly for comfort, to which you immediately swooped down to lift her into your warm arms. 
“It is my business,” because this is my hardworking husband’s company, you wanted to say but were never one to make such entitled comments. 
“How—?!” you cut her off as she had done to you multiple times. 
“—and it would do you some good to sort out the poor attitude before it lands you in trouble,” 
Just as she opens her mouth to speak again, a familiar face comes into view and moves behind the desk also — it was one of the secretaries who was familiar with your regular visits to the company, Dorcas. 
“Good afternoon! Sorry for my tardiness,” Dorcas greets with a cheerful smile as the intern scoffs and rolls her eyes, “Here for the usual visit, I see,” you smile, shoulders easing with relief as Dorcas winks at you before cooing at Emily, “and how are we today, little Emily?” You and Dorcas focus your attention on your daughter, who smiles happily and looks as relieved as you, especially at the sight of Dorcas, a familiar, friendly face. The two converse for a moment, Dorcas asking her how school was and if she’s been well-behaved, whereby Emily responds articulately, demonstrating her smartness and politeness with a few, soft-spoken words. You were proud of her, she’s just like her father, intelligent, sweet and timid but also with a passionate flame burning deep inside that was just waiting to come to fruition. 
“This is a regular thing?” the intern speaks up with the same audacious tone of voice, effectively cutting the sweet moment between your daughter and Dorcas short. 
“Of course it is,” Dorcas narrows her eyes at the intern, a silent warning for her use of tone, especially in front of Emily. 
“Daddy!” Emily suddenly squeals in your arms and all three of you turn to see your smiling husband walking away from the closing elevator. At this, you place Emily down and she goes racing towards her father. 
“There’s my little girl!” Remus laughs and takes a knee with his arms spread wide open, ready to catch your daughter in his embrace. Using the momentum from her eager sprint to be in his arms, Remus swings her around playfully before tucking her into his side and on his hip, where he kisses her forehead after swiping away her stray baby hairs with his fingers. Watching the touching exchange, you smile warmly and hug Remus around the waist when he finally makes his way over to pull you close and kiss your temple, “hello, dove,” his voice is like sweet honey and it pulls you even closer to him. 
“Good afternoon, darling,” you greet in return, your smile bright and devoid of any bitterness towards the rude intern.
“I thought you two hadn’t arrived yet,” he nods towards the clock behind the front desk, it was well past your usual, punctual visits as you were never one to be tardy, “you’re never this late for lunch, did something happen?” his brows furrowed with worry and you smile at his concern but find it hard to form the words. Instead, you simply refocus your attention and meet the eyes of the new intern behind the desk once more. She had become considerably pale, looking white as a ghost. 
“Sh-she’s—” the intern stutters as Remus’ eyes harden on her. 
“She’s my wife,” his voice didn’t waver at the declaration and he pulls you closer to emphasise your standing, “is there a problem?” there was considerable threat behind his words and the intern was left speechless but also fearful, “because there better not be,” you wanted to speak up throughout the entire exchange but there was nothing for you to say, if she didn’t get her attitude sorted after this confrontation, you wouldn’t dare think about where her life’s trajectory will point to. 
“Let’s go have lunch, darling,” you finally speak up, which, thankfully, Remus relents to. 
A few days after the exchange, the intern supposedly dropped out of the internship program. Not by her volition however. 
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A/N : i haven't written for remus in a while so excuse the rustiness. hopefully, you darlings can agree with me on the fact that remus x ceo au is a great combination, right?
NAVI.
TAGLIST : @aastonishment ; @until-i-found-you ; @never-fair ; @celestcies ; @inlovewithremusjohnlupin ; @calums-betch ; @futurecorps3 ; @simpingforthe80s ; @yrluvjane ; @chaosofmanyfandoms ; @storyofaromance ; @loving-and-dreaming ; @somewereinthegalaxi ; @bobs-fav-cat ; @cassandra-nerezza-black ; @stray-bi-kids ; @ttkttt ; @notasadgirlipromise ; @rosalyn-s
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seiwas · 2 months
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three-part honesty | todoroki shouto
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wc: 16.3k
summary: honesty, you've realized, is shouto’s most cunning trait—a quality that's endeared you over the years now rendering you into a stuttering, fumbling mess like never before. 
contains: intended as f!reader but no pronouns used, reader wears heels, a skirt, & a dress, post-canon (divergent), aged-up pro-hero!shouto and assistant!reader, workplace romance, development of feelings, confessions, boss/assistant dynamics, co-workers to lovers (ish), todoroki family dynamics and healing, fluff, slow burn.  
sequel to: two-part something ao3 mirror
a/n: primarily from shouto’s perspective but switching of character pov’s is denoted by ‘( )’. i enjoyed the entire process of writing this fic and hope you do too! 
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sponsored by @arcvenes for the @ficsforgaza initiative. please do check it out and support if you can! this is also my submission for the pretty boy summer collab by @andypantsx3.
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I. LISTEN CLOSELY
Much to his relief, Shouto’s yearly health check-up turns out just fine. 
His blood work results come back stellar, levels all floating within normal range; some x-rays and scans reveal injuries healing up nicely—that collarbone he’d fractured months ago, especially. Save for a few recommendations on better sleep and stress management, Shouto receives no additional diagnoses for anything particularly concerning. 
Except for this one thing—
“Maybe you have a crush.” Natsuo sinks into the backrest of his chair. A slight ‘squeak’ sounds from its springs as he props one foot up on his knee and clasps his hands over his stomach. 
Shouto thinks it must be some doctor pose; Natsuo’s been doing it more often now that he’s gotten deeper into his medical practice. 
In Shouto’s final year at UA, Natsuo made the decision to fully shift into Pre-Med. The aftermath of the war left a big portion of Musutafu lost and in dire need of a society to believe in. To Natsuo, this felt like a calling; an effort of playing his part to restore faith in a better, functioning system that did not discriminate. Internal medicine felt expansive in that way.
This, of course, also meant that Natsuo was now the (unofficial) assigned private and personal doctor of the Todoroki family—to Shouto, mostly. 
So—
A… Crush?
“How does that happen?” Shouto turns to his brother, head tilted in confusion. His brows furrow slightly. 
This isn’t what he was expecting at all. 
“I mean, you said it in your text,” Natsuo reaches for his phone, clicking it open to scroll. The light from his screen reflects on the gray of his irises; then, he air quotes, “you said: ‘my chest feels weird’, then when I asked if anything happened,” his index finger glides across the screen, swiping through a long block of text uncharacteristic of Shouto’s typical dry responses.
“You detailed the entire scene of–” he pauses for a moment, squinting to find a specific line, “–a santa hat? Being put on you, or something. You didn’t mention who but I figured it was—” 
You, Shouto thinks, at the moment Natsuo says your name. That same two-part thump sounds in his ears. 
You, who’s stayed by his side for the past five, nearly six years. You’ve carved your presence so deeply into his life, it’s become an undercurrent in his speech. He doesn’t even think of having to say your name when he talks about you. 
You, and how he turns over this familiarity with you inside his brain. How everyone knows—
“—who else stays with you in the agency past office hours, anyway?” 
Natsuo raises an eyebrow, knowing. 
“We’ve been working together for a while.” Shouto replies, lips pressed firmly into a small pout. 
If he’s being honest, he’s not sure what compelled him to say something Natsuo already knows. To state the obvious? Or to argue, maybe? To act in denial? To express disbelief? 
He takes a long breath, surveying Natsuo’s clinic. The walls are pristine white, the desk and examination bed the same shade of ashen gray—a conscious choice to keep patients calm; ironic, given the state of his thoughts right now. 
Shouto’s mind is buzzing, and Natsuo watches the muddled confusion in his little brother’s eyes shift and swirl in blue-gray emotion. Then he chuckles, holding onto his arm rests as he stands up from the other side of his desk. 
“It can happen, Shouto.” he plants a palm on his little brother’s head, ruffling red and white the way he would have when they were teens, “It’s been years, right? Feelings can develop over time, that sorta thing, you know?” 
Shouto lets the realization settle in. 
Under the weight of his brother’s hand, he feels like a kid again—right before all the training started; and right before being kept away, excluded from the childhood he could have had with his siblings. 
Shouto feels like a teen again, without the trauma, without the war, being taught things about life and himself, about feelings he never had the time nor capacity to explore.
The two-part thump continues, beating. 
A crush. On you. Huh. 
The rustling of his hair dusts strands of warm, fuzzy feelings over his eyelids. 
This feels… new, he thinks. 
.
.
.
Shouto knows his Mondays. 
He gets to Shouto Agency an hour before everyone else does because he likes the stillness of it right before the day turns busy. The sun is up but only barely, casting a soft glow of blue and orange hues through the floor-to-ceiling windows of his office. 
This habit began years ago, back when the agency functioned on the 7th floor of a commercial building. It was called Flashfreeze then, and even though it had an entire floor of 24 office units, being in a commercial building still meant sharing common areas with other companies and agencies. The morning rush left the elevators flooded in utter chaos daily. 
To Shouto, going in early meant less people and less noise—a quiet bube he could use to prepare himself for the rest of the day.  
A lot has changed since then: the agency’s move into a larger, newly constructed building of its own; staff, interns, and sidekicks quadrupling in numbers; better office spaces, bigger teams, more facilities—a big expansion, essentially. 
Somehow, despite being more settled in the industry, he finds that the days feel even busier than before. 
So, Shouto keeps his Mondays the same: his preference of coming in early carrying itself into this newer, much larger and private office space, and his same habit of brewing himself a cup of tea finding its own spot by the small kitchen nook you helped design during the construction of his office space. 
Everything about his office is optimized for efficiency: the backdoor, where he enters from on most days, opens to an elevator with a matching staircase that both lead straight down to the costume unit, training grounds, and his own parking area; the blinds of his windows automatically draw up and down at set times of the day; and the minimalism of his entire space is carefully considered, with every area plotted for easy navigation. 
It’s sleek and neat, sharp edges and clean lines, straightforward much like he is. Cold, for the most part, save for the corners touched by your warmth.
Pale yellow jars sit on the counter of his kitchen nook, with each one housing sugar, cinnamon, and his stash of tea.  
When he looks more closely around the room, he spots the fresh flowers on his desk—a vase of luscious white chrysanthemums starkly contrasting the dark grays and browns of his interiors; they tell him you must be in already, because even when he manages to come in an hour ahead, you always, without fail, beat him to it 30 minutes too early. 
And also, like always, you enter his office in the same way you do every Monday morning. 
Your heels clack against his stone flooring, marking your arrival. He turns to face you from the kitchen nook, cup of tea in hand as he greets you. 
“Good morning.” 
You jolt, nearly tripping. Your head whips up quickly as you clutch a mass of folders tightly to your chest. 
He takes a sip of his tea, the corners of his lips curling slightly on the edge of his cup. 
“Si–” you clear your throat, correcting yourself as you take a breath. Then you smile warmly, bowing your head slightly, “Shouto, good morning.” 
“You scared me a bit there,” you add with a soft chuckle. 
It’s endearing, he thinks, seeing you caught off guard, so out of your usual composure.
You loosen your grip on the folders, “I just came to place this on your desk,” your finger taps against the plastic, “I didn’t notice you were here already, sorry.” 
“No worries,” he sets down his tea cup, pocketing one hand in his sweatpants, “do you want some tea?” 
“I’m good, thank you,” you shake your head, walking towards his desk to set the folders down, “Just a couple of debriefs for the case last month.” 
He nods, eyes tracking your movement around the room. You pause then turn to him, clicking your pen as you say, “Let me get your schedule so we can do the run-down.” 
Shouto moves to his desk when you leave, settling into the few squeaks and cracks of the leather chair you helped restore using your quirk—the ability to minimally reconstruct organic matter. 
Not even a few minutes pass until you return, a tablet perched on the crook of your elbow with a digital pen in hand. 
This is part of his Monday routine. 
The agenda you follow is the same: a schedule run-down for the coming week, any notable trips or events, report updates, and department updates. Occasionally, PR will have you relay messages they have trouble communicating nicely—most of the time, they involve suggestions for him to ‘smile more’ or ‘answer questions more enthusiastically’. 
You have no problem telling him these things straight up, and he has no issue hearing it directly from you, either. 
For this week, you detail a few meetings scheduled for tomorrow and Wednesday, along with updates on his costume revisions, to be fitted on Wednesday afternoon, and—
“Deku requested a joint patrol on Thursday morning, so I moved your fitting for the gala to that evening instead. Is that okay with you?” you look up from your tablet, the tip of your pen hovering over the screen. 
In this light, you’re bathed in the colors of sunrise. 
(From where you’re standing, Shouto is backlit by the rising sun. His figure is washed over by a faded shadow, but you can see his eyes clearly, bright turquoise and dark gray staring right at you.
You hold your breath; you are well aware of Shouto’s tendencies to stare, but he’s taking much longer to answer you this time. And you don’t know what to do, where to look. Do you wait until—)
Shouto nods, catching himself lingering. 
You mumble an ‘okay’ before tapping on your tablet. 
The rest of your reminders are about upcoming events and deadlines: there’s the company team building happening in a few weeks, and a few reports due today and tomorrow. Fuyumi moved the family lunch to Saturday to make way for his photoshoot on Sunday. 
He watches you from his desk as you speak, your foot tapping in conjunction with each item you relay to him, as if marking every point. It’s a thing you do, something he’s noticed in the years you’ve worked together. 
Shouto knows his Mondays, and he’s always been relaxed during these earlier parts of it. 
But ever since that check-up with Natsuo, he’s been more… conscious about it lately. It seems to be a consistent trend that every time he’s around you, he feels a significant uptick in his heartbeat. 
Except now, when you speak—
“Will you be bringing a plus-one to the gala this year? The committee is confirming how many seats they’ll reserve for you.” 
—his heart feels like it drops, plummeting straight to his stomach. 
He looks at you intently, a slight crease forming between his brows. 
You go to most of these things with him; you always have, ever since. 
So, why are you even asking? 
He thinks about it, deciding what to say next. The thought of you not going with him feels weird. Unusual. 
If you’re unavailable, he supposes he can just go alone. 
But—
“What should I do then?” Shouto shifts in his seat, peering up at his brother. 
Natsuo’s instinctive reaction is to laugh; after all, it’s not often that you see pro-hero Shouto at a loss on troubleshooting. But when he spots pure and genuine uncertainty swirling in heterochromatic gray and blue, he sees his little brother—Shouto at ages 4, 8, and 12, still a little helpless on what to do.
“Do you want to do something about it?” Natsuo asks gently, squeezing Shouto’s shoulders. 
Shouto doesn’t say anything. 
The lack of response tells him all he needs to know. 
“Maybe figure that out first, then just be honest about it when the time comes. Nothing beats saying it plain and simple.” 
—‘just be honest about it’ echoes in his head, Natsuo’s voice morphing into his own.
“Will you not be available?” he manages to ask flatly, masking his worry. 
(You look up from your tablet and his eyes meet yours, an intensity in his gaze that’s only been directed at you a handful of times before.) 
“Oh,” you fluster a little, shifting your weight, “I will be, but I just thought…”
He can hear you hesitate, voice trailing off as if contemplating your next words. His head dips to coax you to go on. 
“...I just thought, maybe you’d want to bring someone from your family?” you give a small smile, half-genuine, half-uncertain. 
You know Shouto’s family; know their stories and know what each of them are like, individually. 
You know how far they’ve come into healing, seeing Touya through multiple cycles of rehab and relapse. You’ve witnessed his mother’s strength first-hand, watching her rebuild their family with the help of Fuyumi. On the weekends when work wouldn’t let up for Shouto, she’d welcome you to join in family lunches too. 
There were days during Natsuo’s medical internship when he’d go to the office at midnight because the hospital was nearby. It was the only free time he and Shouto had at the time, but Natsuo would ask you to join in, the three of you slurping on cup noodles while Natsuo prattled on about the absurdity of some of his coworkers. 
So, Shouto can fully understand your intentions. After all, he thinks you’ve been instrumental to his family’s healing, too. 
But he has his reasons for never bringing Fuyumi—she usually has school the next day, if not volunteer work at an orphanage. Natsuo has gotten increasingly busier with his practice, and Touya—Touya is still in rehab, and though he’s allowed at home three times a week, Shouto’s sure he’d rather spend it doing things other than being in a room full of pro-heroes. 
“It might be nice to bring your mom,” you add on.
And as for that—
“The gala is this Friday?” he leans forward, the tips of his bangs brushing his eyelids. 
You nod.
“She and Touya are going to the gardens,” he recalls, his mother casually mentioning it the last time he visited. 
You look pleasantly surprised, “Oh,” then your small smile returns, “that’s good to hear.” 
(It must mean a lot to Rei, you think. She’s always wanted to make up for lost time.) 
You don’t say anything else, silence filling the conversation as you hold his gaze.
It isn’t uncommon for Shouto to hold stare-offs, with you especially, but this might just be the first time he feels fully conscious about it—wondering what you’re thinking; if you can read his mind and tell what he’s thinking. 
“Do you not want to join me?” he asks, a small pout forming on his face. 
(The softness of his cheeks sink just a little bit, and his eyes lose some of the luster they typically carry in the morning. 
He looks so sad, you wish you just said yes in the first place. 
How do you even respond to this?) 
“No, n-no–” you stutter, inching forward subconsciously, “–it’s nothing like that.” 
You check your tablet, swiping through your calendar. He can see portions of it from where he’s sitting, your Friday definitely freed up and empty. 
He pushes himself up, standing to full-height. His hands dig into the pockets of his sweatpants as he tilts his head to the side. 
“What seems to be the problem then?” 
(In your years of knowing Shouto, you’ve learned that he never intends to sound harsh even though his words may seem like it. But even though you’re aware that he only means to be curious, you still feel a little embarrassed admitting that you didn’t anticipate the possibility of going to the gala with him this Friday. 
You’ve always been prepared; it’s in your job description to be like this. You should have had a back-up dress just in case. You shouldn’t have shown Shouto your hesitation in the first place.
So, you breathe out, voice level and calm. This is your problem to fix, you don’t have to let him know about it. You’ll find a way, like you always do.) 
“There’s no problem. I’ll add my name to the list then.”
Then you smile, but it’s just a touch uneasy, and if there’s one thing you underestimate about Shouto—for just as much as you know him, he’s gotten to know you pretty well too. 
He pauses. The last thing he would want is for you to feel forced to go.
“If you have other plans, I hope you don’t feel obligated to go. I can go alone.”
His brows furrow, crease deepening and heart still sinking. 
(And you can see it, that little pout on his face staying right where it is. 
You’re endeared, touched by his consideration.
“I don’t have other plans,” you grin, brighter and more at ease, “and I don’t feel forced to go either,” you sigh, hiding a small chuckle. 
A pause. 
You mull it over before deciding to admit why you were hesitant in the first place, “I thought you were going to bring your mom, so I wasn’t able to prepare a dress.”)
Shouto’s eyes widen slightly, mouth opening to express his apologies. 
“But–!” you interrupt, “That’s my fault,” you raise your hand, swaying it side-to-side. “So please don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” 
The smile on your face is meant to reassure him, he knows, but he still feels guilty. 
This Friday’s gala is the Annual Midyear Pro-Hero Awards; it’s grand because it’s important, and the dress code is always black-tie—everything typically made custom. 
He tilts his head slightly, thinking, eyes zeroing in on the small calendar propped up on his desk.
“My suit is being made by Bakugo’s parents, correct?” 
You nod, reiterating, “Your final fitting is on Thursday night.”
His gaze flits to you once again. 
(There’s that look in his eyes you’ve become all too familiar with—a glint of mischief accompanying a sort-of ‘Eureka!’ moment that means he’s thought of something.
The pieces click together, realization dawning upon you, but when you open your mouth to refuse—)
“I can ask them to do yours as well.” Shouto beats you to it. 
It wouldn’t be fair for you to scramble for your outfit last minute simply because he assumed you knew you were going. You shouldn’t be more stressed than you already are. 
“Si– Shouto,” you say firmly, “That’s too much.” 
“I’m sure they won’t mind,” he flashes you a small smile. 
(And you hate to admit it, but he’s right.
The Bakugo’s have known you for as long as you’ve been Shouto’s assistant. They’ve consistently designed his suits for big events like the Pro-Hero Awards, and Mitsuki has always extended their services to you too, knowing full well that you are Shouto’s plus-one most of the time. 
She likes to chat with you during suit pick-ups, with Masaru serving you a cup of tea as you wait for minor tweaks and adjustments to Shouto’s outfits. 
“It would be too last minute,” you resist, feeling bad for the hassle this would impose on them.
“Then I can call them later today.” Shouto reaches for his phone, eagerly typing what you assume is a reminder to call Mitsuki some time later, just as he said he would. 
“You–” your voice hesitates, “you don’t have to do that. I can contact their secretary–”
This is part of your job, after all. 
“It will be much faster if I call them directly.” 
And while he does have a point, you still feel bad, inching closer towards his desk, “It’s okay, you shouldn’t have to concern yourself with this–” 
He gives you a look. 
You stop moving. 
Shouto is stubborn, this much you know. When he looks like this, you’re well aware that there’s no point dissuading him from doing something he’s already set his mind to.)
“It’s only right given that I told you last minute.” 
He tells this to you sincerely; it really is the least he can do. 
Besides—
“…be honest…” the words replay in his head.
—he swallows his truth; lets it sink deep into stomach along with that two-part thump in his chest. 
“I only feel comfortable going to these with you, anyway.” 
(Your mind blanks, coming up with nothing else to say but ‘okay’.) 
.
.
.
Cameras flash as Shouto steps down from his van. 
The building ahead of him is colossal, tall pillars and perfect arches made of raw stone and marble—it feels both ancient and otherworldly, fitting to represent Musutafu in this new age. Ahead of him, the staircase stretches on, steps spanning the width of half a block. Down its center cascades a luscious carpet, thick velvet that further lends to the grandeur of the event. 
Standing at the foot of the staircase, Shouto takes a moment to unbutton his suit jacket, revealing his perfectly fitted waistcoat underneath. 
(You know he isn’t doing it on purpose; it’s hardly ever Shouto’s intention to make people swoon, but you’re positive that that one move alone can make anyone melt on sight—you included.) 
Tonight is the Annual Midyear Pro-Hero Awards, a prestigious event where hero rankings, major announcements, and charity biddings take place. 
(It’s not anything new to the both of you, but Shouto skipped out on the past two, and it’s been years since you joined him on the last one he went to. Being here again after so long makes you feel a little out of practice.
After he scales the flight of stairs ahead, Shouto turns back to you, offering his arm for support as you step down from the vehicle. You hesitate, partly because you don’t know whether it’s acceptable behavior for you to take it, and also because you don’t remember if this was something you did the last time you went to one of these with him.
You can’t think straight—not when he looks as seraphic as he does, face half-illuminated by the lights behind him with the shadows hugging the softness of his cheeks. 
Shouto is beautiful, a fact you’ve known long before you ever even started working with him; but you’re reminded of that fact in moments like this, especially. 
“The steps are tall,” he tells you, shaking you out of your thoughts as you glance back at the staircase behind him. You try not to stare, but the strands that frame his forehead shift from his sudden movement; it scatters into a perfect mess—characteristic of how anything out of place always seems to look on him.
You take his offer.)
His forearm is firm against your palm, the thick fabric of his suit jacket providing cushion for your touch. When he bends it towards his chest, your fingers slip towards the crook of his elbow. 
Scarlet red contrasts the building’s stone white structures, the carpet providing a center stage for all heroes and public figures to parade their outfits. If not for the photographers yelling, “Shouto, right!” and “Shouto, left!”, he would have gone straight inside, barely pausing on the landings between each flight of stairs. 
You stand to the side when he takes them, just as you always do. But between each flash that goes off, Shouto thinks about whether you should join him too; after all, Mitsuki did intend for the dark navy of your dress to match the stone gray of his three-piece suit. 
When you finally arrive at the lobby of the city hall, the two of you are welcomed into a receiving area adorned with crystal chandeliers. The lights bounce off the sharp white edges of the building’s neoclassical interiors, the carpet’s scarlet red returning as a recurring motif in the form of drapes cascading from the high ceilings and down the sides of the room.
By this time, Shouto’s relaxed a bit more, his hand slipping loosely into his front pocket. 
(You don’t realize you’re still holding onto him until you’re midway across the floor.) 
“Hey, you guys!” Kirishima waves over, squeezing himself within a narrow space between the backs of who look like one of the executives of the hero commission and last year’s awarded peace ambassador. 
(You don’t know how he could have possibly fit, the width of him wider than any pro-hero you know, but you chuckle at his timid mumbles of “sorry, excuse me, just passing through.” It reminds you of how he typically approaches you when he asks for favors regarding joint patrols and assignments with Shouto.
He greets you both with his trademark hug, a bone-crushing grip that leaves you a little winded.) 
“I didn’t know the two of you were coming!” 
“It was a last minute decision,” Shouto smiles, small and fond. 
(You look at Shouto intently from beside Kirishima, as if processing what he means. And when his eyes meet yours, you feel caught, shy, averting your gaze quickly.)
Kirishima clears his throat, no doubt noticing the interaction but choosing to focus on something else instead—Shouto’s outfit, a dark navy tie tucked underneath a fitted gray waistcoat; the white collar of his button down peeking through the all stone-gray ensemble. His hair is styled down, bangs curled inwards to form commas that frame his forehead.  
“Looking good, man.” the red head deflects, joining his index finger and thumb to form an ‘O-K’ sign as he nods at Shouto. Then he turns to you, the same genuine smile on his face as he says, “That color really suits you.” 
You smile sheepishly, mumbling, “Thanks.” 
(Kirishima is a sweetheart; you can never doubt that his intentions are pure. But the attention makes you feel a little self-conscious, even more now that—) 
Shouto looks at you then, again, too.
It’s the only time he’s managed to get a real good look at you if he’s being honest; from the incident in the car to the flashing lights up the staircase, there haven’t been many opportunities to fully see what you’re wearing. 
And—
Kirishima’s right. 
The color really does suit you, but so does the design of your dress—a simple cowl neck joining into halter straps; it dips low at the back, this detail of it, he knows. He’s been careful not to touch you there the entire time so far. It doesn’t help that your hair is tied into a low bun, accentuating the vacant space with how the dress hugs you beautifully in all the right places. 
The dark navy satin was a good choice, the perfect vessel for catching ripples of light. 
It’s simple but classic; understated, just like the accessories you’ve chosen are. And it brings out the one thing he thinks carries this look the most—
You. 
He tries to form the words in his head, urging himself to speak up—he wants to give you a compliment of his own. 
But—
“Bakubro!” Kirishima waves overhead, much like he did earlier. 
—maybe he can try again next time. 
You and Kirishima don’t stay long after Bakugo arrives, Ashido coming in to whisk you and the redhead away to the main room. She loops her arm around yours and pulls you towards her, prompting you to give one last glance at Shouto as an expression of your apologies. 
The corner of his lips curl only the slightest bit. 
Bakugo watches. 
“Don’t forget the drinks, Blasty!” Ashido calls over her shoulder, green silk flowing behind her. 
He tuts, grumbling as he heads towards the reception bar, leaving Shouto in the middle of the receiving area, unsure of where to follow. 
“Y’coming or what?” 
Shouto lingers for a few seconds, watching your back disappear into the hall before he decides to walk after Bakugo.  
The lobby begins to quiet down as people flood into the main event area, a large hall adorned with the same scarlet red drapes and crystal chandeliers. The table arrangements have been pre-selected and arranged, you and the others most likely finding your seats inside. 
“Old hag told me you’re dating.” 
Bakugo speaks, his back still turned to Shouto. 
The bar in front of them offers a generous selection of drinks, all ranging from different wines to cocktails and liquor shots. It isn’t a surprise that Bakugo knows all of his friends’ chosen drinks, down to each specificity—it’s how he shows that he cares. Shouto’s come to learn that over the years. 
Their friendship has settled into its own dynamic as Bakugo’s mellowed down. Shouto will ask a question here and there, and Bakugo will look at him like he’s the dumbest fuck on the planet, but still answer anyway. 
It works, as evidenced by right now. 
Shouto stops right beside Bakugo, leaning against the countertop as he hums, confused, “Who?” 
Bakugo sighs, sliding Shouto his gin and tonic, “Mom.” Then he rolls his eyes, gesturing towards the door of the main room, “She told me you two are finally dating.”
Shouto pauses mid-sip. 
When he recalls the conversation he had with Mitsuki, it went a lot more like:
“Can a dress be made for my assistant as well?” he speaks into the line, “I will be bringing them to the gala.” 
He doesn’t think he insinuated anything. 
But now that he replays it in his head, it’s no wonder Mitsuki’s enthusiastic reply sounded so eager. 
Bakugo snorts, smirking as if his suspicion was just proven right, “Knew that lady was hearin’ shit.” 
The bartender serves up another drink, Ashido’s raspberry daiquiri being placed right in front of the blond before he moves on to mix another one. Clacking ice fills in the silence, the drink coming together inside the shaker. 
Shouto stares at his drink and watches as little bubbles form on the slice of lime submerged in it. 
“Are you at least thinkin’ about it?” the blond faces Shouto, leaning his forearm against the counter. 
Shouto furrows his brows, a single thought running through his mind.
“How did you know?” 
Bakugo stares, deep vermillion as he speaks, deadpan, “You can’t be serious.” 
Shouto stares right back. 
Another drink is served, Kaminari’s mixed drink of vodka, lime, and lemonade.
The stare-off persists for a few seconds, a series of blinks emphasizing Shouto’s cluelessness to the whole ordeal. Because—why does it feel like everyone knows? Did he mention it without knowing? Or is it really just that obvious?
Bakugo sighs, mentally facepalming as he turns back to watch the bartender shake another drink, “Whatever. S’none of my business.” He leans onto the counter, elbows resting on the steeltop. 
Shouto isn’t sure what else to say. He knows that Bakugo is observant, that his friend has always had a keen sense of awareness for the things going on around him; it just never crossed his mind that that would include his interactions with you.
The blond slides over Ashido’s drink, prompting Shouto to hold the flute of the glass between his fingers, “Just don’t be a fuckin’ dumbass about it. Gotta be dense as hell if you think the way you’re treated is part of the job description.”
The bartender serves up the final drink: Sero’s whiskey on the rocks. Bakugo takes it along with Kaminari’s and starts walking back to the main room, Shouto following right behind him. 
He thinks about it. 
A thump. 
Because right before they both enter the hall, Shouto spots you, further back at the right side of the room as you laugh at something Yaoyorozu must have said. 
He blinks, wondering if the soft glow around you is from the haziness of his eyes. 
“If y’don’t do shit first, some other loser will,” Bakugo mumbles, just within ear-shot before he walks ahead to where Kirishima and the others are seated. 
Shouto makes a mental note to drop off Ashido’s drink before heading over to you. 
.
.
.
You and Shouto leave the gala early.
A message from the police station came in the middle of the event: a request to bump up a few reports for submission tomorrow.
You’d mentioned to Shouto that he could stay, especially since he’d be needed to accept awards that you were sure he’d be the recipient of—among them being one of the top performing agencies of the year, a big chunk of it based on the high turnover rate of timely reports. But he insisted that someone else could represent him instead; he’s certain Midoriya wouldn’t mind. 
If you were going back to the agency to work, so was he. 
The night shift at the agency is minimally staffed, with most sidekicks and pro-heroes out on patrol. Regular employees have clocked out by this time, and it seems that the only ones left in the building are the emergency unit and the two of you. 
You’ve split the work between you two: Shouto tasked to fill in the second pages, where the scene-by-scene breakdown and additional comments can be found, and you, in charge of summarizing those details along with all basic information onto the first pages. 
It feels nostalgic, watching you flip through the papers laid out on the coffee table of his lounging area at a quarter past midnight. Back then, he had just hired you, and the only other employees in the agency were his gear tech and PR manager. There was no way the volume of workload could be managed without spending late nights organizing investigations and reports on the floor of that rented studio unit. 
Now, you sit by the coffee table in his lounging area, one you helped decorate. The books atop it have been pushed to the side to give you ample workspace, but even those remind him of how much consideration you’ve put into helping him build his space. 
Bakugo’s words linger when he thinks about it—how the books you’ve chosen remind him of his family. There’s one on the language of flowers that his mother would love, and a cookbook that he’s sure Fuyumi’s used (some corners are folded, with her handwriting scrawled on every other page). On another stack lie a few comic books he remembers Touya and Natsuo reading when they were younger (that he’s pretty sure he’s seen them flip through during their visits to his office over the years).  
And along with all the books sits a family photo taken years ago, framed and taken by you during one of their annual trips to their family beach house a few hours away from the city. 
It begins to sink in. 
A thump.
He folds the sleeves of his button down to his elbows, his gray suit jacket long since draped over the back of his leather chair. You’ve changed out of your heels too, opting instead for the soft slippers you keep under your desk. 
It’s cute, he thinks, the formality of your entire get-up toned down by a pair of fluffy yellow slippers. 
When he glances at you again, he finds you hunched over yourself on the sofa of his lounging area, an arm wrapped around yourself as if to contain whatever warmth you have left. 
He furrows his brows. 
“Are you cold?” his voice booms through the stillness of his office, jostling you out of focus. You whip your head up to look at him, shaking it immediately as if on autopilot. 
(He pouts, then, a small downturn of his lips that you find adorable, more than anything.) 
“I’m okay,” you smile, but he can see the slight twitching of your lip; the goosebumps dotting down your trembling arms. 
You always seem to be doing things like this with him. 
He pushes himself away from his desk, the wheels of his chair rolling against the stone floor. 
You never express your discomfort in any situation you’re put in, and you diligently work and endure all conditions to get the job done. He always extends his help, but you often decline, and—
“You have to be dense as hell if you think the way you’re treated is part of the job description.”
—Shouto is beginning to realize that the way you treat him really is so much more than that. 
You’ve laid the groundwork of the operations in his agency and you always smooth talk your way to getting him out of schedules he mistakenly forgets to show up to (typically with good reason, though). You cover all the areas he misses—this entire building would not be how it looks and functions without your help overseeing its construction. 
You’re organized and driven, eager and compassionate, and you care, above all else. 
The flowers you leave on his desk are never needed, but you always insist on them to keep his space alive. You fix all his clumsy papercuts, even though he never asks you to; he’s dealt with much, much worse, yet it’s only a split-second after you spot it that the tingling of your quirk works its way to mend his split skin. 
It’s just like what happened in the car earlier tonight, a few minutes away from reaching the city hall. Shouto had accidentally cut himself with the invitation to the gala, and though he insisted that it was okay, it was right on his eyelid—a miracle it even missed his eyeball in the first place, you’d commented. 
You managed to convince him then, saying, “It’s going to sting every time you blink.” —which was true; it did sting every time he blinked. 
That care extends to the people in his life too. His mom loves to go to the weekend market with you, and Fuyumi can always count on you to help her cook when she needs an extra hand. You keep up with Natsuo’s jokes and Touya talks to you, long enough conversations that allow him to be himself. 
You care, and you insist upon your care especially when you know he needs it but would never ask for it. 
It’s only fair, then, that it’s time he does the same for you. 
He removes the suit jacket draped over the back of his chair, the movement drawing your attention. 
(Your eyes widen as he approaches you. You feel shy, a little flustered as you raise your hands up to reassure him that you don’t need it.) 
“Your arms are shivering.” he points out, holding up the thick fabric. 
You crane your neck up to look at him, just a few steps away from reach. 
(You can’t deny the facts.)
From above, he only sees skin—the plunging dip of your exposed back, the small hairs standing along your arms. He tries his best to look into your eyes only, but—
“At least let me place this over you.” 
(And you know you can’t deny Shouto, either.) 
—when you concede and let him, he steps closer and bends just a little bit, his full height too tall to be able to place it on you properly. His arms circle around you, carefully resting the thick wool around your neck and onto your shoulders. 
He bends lower to adjust the sleeves, making sure that your arms are fully covered. You’re so still, and so close, the tips of his ears nearly touching the highest points of your cheeks. 
(It’s just like the gala—)
It’s just like the car—
(—with Shouto helping you navigate through the crowd of people exiting the event as early as you both did. His presence was a steady heat against your back, near and warm but barely touching.)
—with your face almost nose-to-nose with his; apart from the gentle touch of your fingertip against his eyelid, Shouto can only remember feeling that, along with the traitorous thump of his heartbeat. 
It’s a good thing that he had his eyes closed then; he wouldn’t have known how to react at the proximity. 
But now, he can see you so clearly, your low bun kept in place by bobby pins the same color of your hair; there’s glitter on the inner corners of your eyes, some of it falling to dot the corners of your nose. 
This has to be more than just a crush if he’s feeling this intensely.  
Your eyes meet for a brief moment, then it’s two blinks before you look away, clearing your throat as you glance at him again, a little bashful, “Thank you.” 
Shouto nods, taking one step back. 
“The estate we booked for the company outing offered to host a visit for you next weekend.” you speak before he fully returns to his seat, shifting in your seat, “I checked your schedule and there’s nothing set for that day yet.” His suit jacket dwarfs you, the deep navy silk becoming an accent the further you sink into it, “Maybe you’d like to go with your mom?”
You suggest it to him again. Because you know and you care. 
He taps his foot, looking out into the city, “That would be nice.” Then he turns back to you, strands of his bangs falling to dust his forehead as he puts his hands inside his pockets, “You’ll be coming too, then?” 
(There are things you don’t allow your heart to feel in moments like this—hope being one of them. Shouto looks dangerously attractive in a suit, and it’s been difficult to keep your feelings at bay the entire night. He speaks honestly, rarely with double meaning, so when he speaks to you like this, you try not to think too much of it. 
“Yes,” you agree, thinking that he must want you to scope out the venue for the company outing activities, “is there anything in particular that you want me to check out for the team building?”)
Shouto tilts his head. 
“Not for work,” he clarifies, staring straight into your eyes. “Just to spend the day with us.” 
He expects your reaction already, your eyes widening and your hands raising to wave off a ‘there’s no need.’ But, he finds that there’s no reason for you to be shy, already beating you to the final say.
“Mom would want you there,” he mentions, because it’s true. She’d look for you. 
And if he’s being completely honest with himself, with how he’s been feeling around you lately—he would too. 
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II. IF I SPEAK
The Todoroki family home comes alive on the weekends. 
Since Touya’s return, his mom has moved into a smaller, more modern place to stay. The walls of its exteriors are painted a warm off-white, its features complemented by light wood and bluish-gray accents. At the back exists a garden large enough for a few small trees and her growing flower collection—a complete flip from their larger and darker old home. 
The tall windows stream sunlight into the living space, each corner of the house doused in its comfort. Opting for a smaller home was a conscious choice—everything would be within reach, and so would the people in it. 
On the days that Touya is allowed to stay home from rehab, he lives here, sometimes with Fuyumi, but always with Rei. 
“Food is ready!” Fuyumi calls from the kitchen, prompting Touya and Natsuo to look over from the couch. Shouto is just about to finish setting the table when Rei brings out a piping hot pot of soup, Fuyumi in tow with a whole plate of tonkotsu. 
Natsuo heads inside the kitchen for anything else that might need carrying, and Touya opens the fridge to take out the iced tea he helped make last night.
It’s taken some time to get here—with Touya willingly doing anything with his family. Getting used to living with people he thought abandoned him for a decade is hard; learning to become a family has been even harder. 
But Touya has always lived in a special corner of his mother’s heart—never forgotten and always considered. Shouto thinks it’s the same case for all of them; that’s how it’s managed to work. 
Touya takes his seat beside Shouto, pouring himself a glass of iced tea while waiting for the rest of their family. 
“Played any golf lately?” Touya eyes Shouto from the side.  
Shouto shakes his head, staring at his palms; calluses used to line the base of his fingers, “Work at the agency has gotten busy.” 
Taking up golf has been part of Touya’s rehabilitation program for the past few months, a recommendation to aid in improving focus while keeping himself calm. And though there was much resistance at first, Touya’s grown fond enough of the sport to play it on his own; it’s made all the difference, Shouto’s noticed, his brother’s overall disposition a lot less angry—
“Looks like I’m going to beat your ass next week,” Touya smirks, cracking his wrists. 
—but still equally as snarky.
Shouto doesn’t normally care about competition; the only person he really has to beat is himself. But he and Touya are alike in many ways, with eyes as sharp as their father’s but their faces holding the same innocence as their mother’s. They are both lit up by fires—one forced to blaze and the other forced to dim. There is a bluntness Shouto shares with Touya that no one else in the family can argue with.
“Being too confident can jinx it for you on the fairway,” Shouto replies, turning to his brother with his signature blank gaze. 
Natsuo laughs as he settles into his seat beside Touya, watching as his older brother’s smirk quickly dissolves into a frown. 
“Little shit,” Touya mumbles, taking a sip from his drink. 
The corners of Shouto’s lips curl up slightly. 
Rei and Fuyumi join the table last, bringing out a steaming pot of rice and a few side dishes to complement the rest of the meal. 
These family lunches keep them connected. 
Fuyumi believes that no matter how busy they are, having this time to gather together and share details on each other’s lives is important.
“Sorry I can’t join you and these two next weekend, mom,” Natsuo starts, slicing through his tonkotsu as he points an elbow towards his brothers, “The hospital has a medical mission out of town.” 
Rei simply smiles, waving her hand, “No need to apologize. I’m so proud of you, Natsuo.” 
“Will you be free, Fuyumi?” she turns next to her, placing a hand on Fuyumi’s lap. 
Fuyumi swallows her food, smiling apologetically, “Sorry, mom, the school’s hosting a kiddie pool party for the first day of summer.”  
Rei pats her lap reassuringly, smiling again as she says, “It’s no problem, I’m glad the kids are having fun under your care.” 
“It’ll just be the three of us, then.” Rei looks at her two boys across from her—her eldest and her youngest. 
Touya blows at his bowl, puffs of steam dissipating into the air. For as hot as Touya’s flames can get, he dislikes anything too hot to eat—a preference of his that Rei’s taken note of as she reaches across the table to cool down his bowl ever so slightly. 
“Thanks,” Touya mumbles, still hesitant to call her ‘mom’ when it’s face-to-face. 
“I heard the estate has a greenhouse,” Shouto mentions, Rei instantly perking up at the information, “You can take a look at the plants there, mom.” 
“That sounds lovely, Shouto,” she smiles; this time, it reaches her eyes, “We can take photos in your handsome outfits too.” 
Touya scrunches his nose as Shouto nods. As per the invitation, the estate prepared a whole day’s worth of activities—a game of golf in the morning, brunch by the gardens, and a simple wine tasting to cap off the afternoon. 
Lunch continues with Fuyumi sharing more about the kids she’s handling this year, and Natsuo retelling interactions of the most obnoxious patients he’s had yet. 
They laugh, a little more like a family—Shouto chuckling as Touya gives a snarky comment or two. Fuyumi laughs, full-bodied, and Rei giggles, softly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. 
“How are your flowers, mom?” Shouto asks after they settle down, remembering that you helped her pick out which ones to plant last time. 
“The morning glories are going to be blooming soon,” Rei replies, her smile fond and proud. Since being released from the hospital years ago, she’s taken to planting and flower arranging, oftentimes asking you to help her choose which ones to use. 
“Really?” Fuyumi turns her head, gasping as she catches a glance from the window across the room, “They look good, mom! Can I have some when they bloom?” 
Rei nods, turning to her youngest, “You can get some too, Shouto.” 
For you, she adds.
Natsuo eyes him from the side as he freezes, Rei suggesting some more, “You can place it in a vase. It’s not fair, you always receive flowers for your desk.” 
Shouto nods, a small ‘okay’ because he doesn’t really know how else to respond without giving his feelings away. 
Touya observes Shouto’s expressions, his eyes twinkling in sinister aquamarine.
“Speaking of,” he shifts in his seat, crossing his legs to face Shouto, “s’your hot assistant coming?” 
Something twists in Shouto’s face, his brows furrowing slightly. 
Touya knows just how to get on Shouto’s nerves.
(What stares back at him is a deadly shade of gray and blue. 
Touya does this pretty often: provoking just for fun. 
Shouto stares at almost everyone he interacts with; it’s unnerving and uncomfortable for people who aren’t used to it, but Touya’s noticed that his little brother stares at you for far longer than he needs to. 
And though he’s missed a big chunk of how Shouto grew up, he likes to think he reads him pretty well now—how he acts around you, especially.
At his core, Shouto believes in carving his own path, choosing to fix wrongs and better himself for the now. Touya knows these things, knows where a person is weakest, just like he’s been taught—just like he’s been made aware of his entire life. Yet, for how independent Shouto’s become, he still chooses to lean on you; turns to you for thoughts and opinions,  considering you in everything. 
Touya has met you a few times; the whole family has. During the worst of his relapse, you were the only person apart from family who was trusted to accompany him in and out of rehab. You picked him up and dropped him off, often joining Rei and Fuyumi on visits when Shouto would be too busy. 
To him, you’re an extension of Shouto at this point—an olive branch that’s been just as instrumental in healing this family and the people in it. 
It’s never in the big things, but those few minutes of small talk you attempt with him in the car ride home help loosen his tongue, training a muscle that with time, has helped him open up more. 
Touya doesn’t care much for people; he’s still just beginning to learn to love his family again, but he thinks you fit in well, because you and Natsuo have the same god-awful humor, and Fuyumi only trusts you to help out in the kitchen. His mom likes having you around, and you never stick your neck in too deep in other people’s shit when they aren’t ready for it—especially his. You never nag Shouto, but you stand firm on the things you disagree with, because as far as Touya can see, you care, far deeper than your job requires you to. 
In all ways, you are the stability and calm authenticity that Shouto needs after growing up in such a tumultuous family.
So, Touya likes to stir the pot a little. Or a lot. Maybe.
Just for fun.)
Shouto continues to stare, his frown deepening. His jaw clenches, tension throbbing in his temples.
“Don’t say it like that,” he mutters, low and firm.
He feels like a kid again; like this would be a conversation they’d be having if things were normal and Touya had been around when Shouto turned 15, teasing him about a crush he might have, like older brothers do. 
Natsuo and Fuyumi have always felt like his protectors, siblings forced to be parents by circumstance; but Touya feels like his brother, the one he can fight and steal food from; the one who holds a toy up above head where Shouto can’t reach—even though he’s much, much taller than his older brother now. 
Touya scoffs, smirking, “Just saying what you think, little brother.”
.
.
.
All Shouto hears is a thump. 
A succession of them, in a steady three-part beat. 
The golf ball in front of him sits on an even plot of vibrant green, its dents and grooves emphasized by the sunlight of the early morning—there’s pressure, a thump; he needs to beat Touya in this hole to tie overall. Another thump; you’re watching him play. 
He analyzes all conditions, feels the heat on his back seep through the fabric of his white golf shirt. He breathes in and prepares to swing. 
Today is the visit to the estate. 
The agenda starts with an early game of golf, followed by brunch at the gardens and wine tasting in the early to late afternoon. It’s a beautiful day, and Shouto should be focusing on winning this game, but it’s distracting when you’re all he’s really thought about since the start of this round. 
—you, in your perfectly fitted white golf shirt and its complementary skirt; you, sitting with his mom at the back of the golf cart, smiling and laughing as if you aren’t the slightest bit aware of how much you brighten a space when you look like that. You, with your head whipping right in his direction when you hear the loud ‘swauck!’ that the impact of his club makes with the ball—your eyes excited and hopeful. 
Shouto misses the hole, and Touya snickers from the side. 
The thumbs up you give him is a soothing balm to his miss.
Shouto readjusts his cap as they walk closer to the hole, tucking in the strands of hair clinging to his forehead. He glances back at you and lingers, interrupted only by—
“Pretty thing, your assistant,” Touya teases, nudging his head towards your direction, “Cute skirt and all.” 
“Stop.” Shouto stares, impassive and unamused. His eyebrow twitches before he turns, walking away. 
From afar, he can hear Touya’s chuckle, breathy from the movement of fixing his arm sleeve. Shouto only pays attention to preparing his putter.  
He knows this is just how his older brother is. 
Since the start of this round, Touya’s managed to lead by a few strokes, with Shouto falling behind in every hole. It’s frustrating and annoying, aggravated even more by Touya’s teasing and the fact that Shouto has played the sport for far longer than Touya has.
It doesn’t help that he ends up missing again, with Touya managing to make the put afterwards. 
Shouto sighs, clenching his jaw. 
“You know,” Touya eyes him as they walk to the next hole, “staring’s not gonna get you anywhere.” 
“I’m not staring,” Shouto retorts immediately. The expanse of greenery ahead of him is taunting, an endless plot of land that feels like it’s watching.  
Touya scoffs, “Sure.” 
The golf course in the estate is landscaped with luscious trees, vibrant in the brightness of summer. Flowers bloom along the perimeter, yellows and reds carving out this specific section of the estate. You and his mom follow closely behind, riding the cart at a slow and steady pace. 
Just a few meters down, the little red flag for the next hole comes into view, moving with the breeze. 
“If you don’t plan on acting on it, you should let me know.” Touya mentions it a little too casually. 
Another thump. 
It’s a joke. Obviously. Something only meant to rile him up—it’s how Touya is. 
But it still makes him feel just a tad bit uneasy; it makes him feel a little bit like it did when they were kids. 
Before Touya disappeared, they used to sneak into the garden on winter nights. Shouto must have been no older than five and learning how to manage his quirk properly. 
They used to play a game: The Twigfire Race, Touya called it—a competition on who can form the longest and fastest fire trail using a bunch of twigs. 
Touya would always win, his long legs and lanky arms gathering more sticks than Shouto ever could at that age. His flames burned a deep azure blue, eating through the twigs much faster than Shouto’s flames did. Then, he’d press onto the pads of his burnt fingertips, teasing Shouto in some twisted attempt at motivating his little brother to do better. 
Touya would always win, but not without getting a word in. Not without leaving Shouto with a lesson or two about it. 
“I said, stop.” Shouto warns him, voice stern as he turns slightly to catch his brother's eyes. 
“Damn. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Touya raises a hand in mock surrender, smirking, “I can just do it without asking you.” 
Shouto stops walking, fists clenched tightly around his golf club. 
“That’s not funny.” 
“Oh, I’m not joking,” Touya taunts, holding back his laugh.
The stare Shouto gives him turns icy, glare intensifying as he inches closer towards his big brother. Touya doesn’t move, the stare-off lasting long enough for you to notice the confrontation. 
From his periphery, Shouto can see you looking at them in confusion. 
“Or am I?” Touya snickers right before he turns away, walking straight towards the next hole. 
Shouto watches him walk away, each thump matching the footsteps his brother makes. To the side, the cart slows to a halt and you get off, standing up as if to gain a better view of what just happened. 
You lock eyes with Shouto and he musters a small smile, raising a hand as if to say ‘everything’s fine.’ 
“Losers lose ‘cause they don’t get shit done, Shouto!” Touya calls from a few steps ahead. 
Shouto stares at his brother’s back; it’s just how Touya used to say when they were kids—
“You just have to go for it!” 
He takes a step. 
.
.
.
Touya wins the round, with Shouto losing by only a few strokes. 
Rei hugs them both, Touya’s slight reluctance evident in the way his arms stay glued to his side as she wraps hers around the both of them. 
Shouto brings one hand up, resting it against her back; from his line of sight, he spots you smiling fondly, giving him another thumbs up when your eyes meet. 
.
.
.
The estate’s staff escorts everyone to their respective rooms, allowing some time to change into clothes more suited for the late morning brunch. 
When Shouto and Touya finish, they make their way to the greenhouse, a glass dome teeming with life. It’s art in bloom—chrysanthemums, hydrangeas, sunflowers, and camellias all in varying colors of pink, red, purple, and yellow. Under a small bridge is a pond, alive with koi fish swimming underneath pads of water lilies, and right up above, where the sunlight streams in, are baskets of japanese roses, hanging in bright, fuschia clusters. 
He walks atop the bridge, hands stuffed inside his linen pants—a pair that matches the linen shirt you gifted him birthdays ago. What surrounds him is beautiful; perhaps the most heavenly place he’s been to. 
A morning of golf under the sun, nature in florescence. A (relatively) peaceful morning. 
And you—
The moment Shouto spots you, the scenery on your backdrop fades into muddled hues. You and Rei enter the greenhouse side-by-side, with his mother wearing an all-white ensemble: a cardigan with a long, flowy skirt. 
And you—
—you walk in wearing a pale yellow sundress, its hem hitting just above your knees. There are dainty flowers dotted all over it, but nothing too loud; the straps sink into a v-neck with bust details, flowing down into an a-line skirt. It’s perfectly understated, only emphasizing the focus on how radiant you look in it. 
He can’t stop staring. 
Touya snorts as he passes him. 
This day, this sight, is going to stay in his memory for a long, long while, he thinks. 
From up ahead, he can hear his mom call for Touya, dragging him around to ask which blooms would look best for the garden at home. And when he snaps out of the daze you’ve put him in, you appear right beside him, asking if he’s okay. 
“Yes,” he answers promptly, unsure of what to say next. His eyes flit to the baskets of japanese roses hanging above you, then to the view peeking from outside. “Do you want to look around before we eat?”
You nod. 
The depth of the greenhouse is deceiving upon first glance, with Touya and Rei now out of sight as you explore the area. You walk close enough to be side-by-side but still stay a step behind like you typically do, pausing every now and then to take pictures of the flowers around you. 
“You seem more relaxed,” he points out, pushing up the sleeves of his button-up. 
You turn to him from the chrysanthemums you’re snapping, a little flustered at his comment. 
(And at him, mostly. You don’t know how anyone can look this good in a simple linen set. Nature favors Todoroki Shouto, and it shows in moments like now, with sunlight hitting his face at just the right angle that it paints stardust on the tips of his eyelashes.) 
“It’s good,” he quickly follows-up, fluffing through his bangs, “I did mention this wasn’t for work.” 
(You feel warm at the reminder.
“It’s nice to see you with some down time too,” you return the sentiment, uncomfortable with the attention on you.
Your fingers fiddle with the hem of your dress.)
“Did something happen earlier?” you put your phone down, continuing to walk. “At the course. Things looked pretty tense.” 
Shouto hums, considers his next words. He takes a few more steps before answering, “Touya is a dick.” 
A laugh escapes you, and you cover your mouth quickly as you mumble an apology. Shouto knows it’s because it’s completely out of character for him to be so vulgar and insulting when it comes to his siblings.
“Was he sabotaging you?” 
“...Something like that.” he responds. 
“That’s okay,” you scrunch your nose, peering up at him, “You haven’t had much time to play lately.” 
And Shouto wonders if he’s just that easy to console, or if it’s a specific comfort that only comes from you. You make it so easy for him to feel better about all the little and big things—whether it’s news articles headlining him as a PR nightmare, or near-losses on missions gone wrong. 
Not a lot of things get to Shouto, but when they do, you somehow always know how to handle it. 
You continue to stroll around the greenhouse, looking closely at the steel bars holding up the glass arches. From a few steps ahead, Shouto can hear your mumbles—something about measurements and the logistics of turning the rooftop of the agency into a smaller version of this greenhouse.  
“You and mom looked like you were enjoying yourselves earlier,” he mentions offhandedly, hands clasped around his back. 
It’s something he’s noticed for a while—his mother seems to relax more around you, laughing and smiling in most of your conversations. He gets it; you have that effect on everyone around you, the warmth you exude a welcome invitation to be opened up to. 
(You eye him from the side knowingly; Todoroki Shouto is nothing but a closet snoop.) 
“We were talking about plant stuff,” you smile, “and how she’s happy you and Touya finally got to play together. You should’ve seen how red her hands were from clapping for the both of you.” 
He chuckles softly, matching your steps in comfortable silence. 
It’s at a different section of the greenhouse that he pauses, giving you time to admire the shrubs of hydrangeas blooming around you.
Touya’s words come back to him. 
He wonders if he should say it, if he should ask—
“Don’t move,” you tell him, raising your phone to eye-level.
Shouto stares at you, hands in his pockets as he watches you tap on your phone.
“Look to the side,” you instruct him again, and he follows, albeit a little confused. 
When he turns to face you again, the smile on your face is beaming, glowing as you turn your phone to show him the photos you managed to take. 
“The lighting was nice. See!” 
And when you point to the way sunlight streaks highlights onto the redness of his hair, down to the slope of his nose and the width of shoulders, he can’t help but agree. 
Now, he wonders—
“Do you want a photo with the flowers?” Shouto asks, because it makes no sense that you deem him worthy to be pictured in perfect lighting when there’s you, looking like you do—the walking subject to the backdrop of greenery behind you. 
Your eyes widen, a stuttered “O-Oh,” falling from your lips. You tug at your skirt again, fiddling with the soft fabric until your eyes nervously meet his. “I don’t really need—”
“The lighting is nice here, too.”
“Oh,” you respond, a hint of diffidence as you flash a small, hesitant smile, “Okay.” 
As Shouto angles himself to take your photo, he notices you turn restless, the smile on your face never quite reaching your eyes and your fingers constantly twirling the fabric of your dress. 
He puts down his phone, tilting his head. 
“Are insects biting you?”
(Your brows shoot up, embarrassed by how he’s noticed. 
You shake your head in response, providing no other explanation besides “Sorry.” 
He continues to stare, as if waiting for you to continue. You know there’s no point hiding the real reason you feel so nervous when he’s already noticed this much.  
“I think I might be underdressed,” you admit, smiling sheepishly as you clasp your fingers in front of you, “This entire place is gorgeous.”
The estate screams high-class; apart from the golf course and the greenhouse, the area also boasts its own private lake glistening across a large green field. It feels a little too good to be true—a paradise you find yourself out of place in. 
But—)
Shouto looks at you, really looks at you—at the way your dress hits right above your knees at the perfect length, at how your collarbones peek through its dainty v-neck cut. Its pale yellow makes you look like summer, radiating in light, and he thinks he hasn’t seen anything more beautiful, really; anything more fitting—for this occasion, for this venue, for this day. 
For you. 
The words have been lodged at his throat since he first saw you step in, and now they’re being pushed out, coaxed slowly by the honesty beating thunderously in his chest. 
He thinks about his mom, how she speaks of beauty whenever and wherever she finds it, with nothing stopping her speech and—
There’s a hum, a thoughtful vibration priming his throat as he continues to stare. 
“I think you’re dressed just right,” is what he manages to get out. 
A thump. 
It’s more than that, though, he knows. 
If this is his chance, if this is ‘next time’ from his attempt at the gala—
He blinks, and you only get prettier. 
“You look beautiful.” he confesses, the sentence overflowing with honesty.
(And when he says your name unlike any way he’s said it before, you feel your chest expand, terrified that it might explode.
Shouto is blunt and honest to a fault; and that honesty, you’ve realized, also happens to be his most cunning trait—a quality that's endeared you over the years now rendering you into a stuttering, fumbling mess like never before. 
“T-Thank you.” you straighten your dress, “You—”)
Shouto’s phone vibrates in his palm, a call from Touya breaking him out of your conversation. He bows his head slightly to excuse himself and you nod in acknowledgment. 
“Brunch is served,” he relays, pocketing his phone soon after he hangs up.
(Then, with his hand inside his pocket, he bends his arm deeper, creating a wider loop as if to offer it for you to hang onto—the same way he did during the gala.
And just like you did then, you take it.)
.
.
.
Brunch was served at the estate’s main patio, a circular table made of light wood adorned with dainty white tableware and muted green linen. In the middle was a centerpiece, an assortment of fresh flowers from the greenhouse coming together for a pop of color against the main neutral color scheme. 
The food was divine, a lovely selection of seasonal salads and warm breads, along with eggs cooked in every way possible. Newly harvested fruits were served before and after the meal, a kind of appetizer-dessert to complement the main piece—a large slab of freshly caught salmon. 
Now, you all gather on the second floor of the estate’s main building, right at the balcony overlooking the greenhouse and the field—a perfect view for wine tasting.
Shouto doesn’t care much for alcohol, all technicalities going past his head as the sommelier explains notes and wine pairings.
He can’t taste much of the difference, if he’s being honest. 
In the sommelier’s hand is a bottle of red wine; he describes all of the technical parts of it before finishing off with the fact that it’s ‘beautifully balanced’, something that causes Touya to snort at the side. 
Shouto looks, raising an eyebrow curiously. 
Touya leans in closer to his little brother, swirling the wine in his glass as he lowers his voice mockingly, “‘You look beautiful’.”
The expression on Shouto’s face remains unreadable, his brain processing the fact that his brother must have overheard his conversation with you earlier. It’s while Touya begins to gulp down his glass that Shouto steps on his foot—a sharp pressure stomped onto freshly cleaned loafers. 
“Fuckin–” Touya hisses, cursing under his breath as he pulls his foot away. 
The edges of Shouto’s lips curl up as he turns back to his glass of wine, watching from across the table as his mom smiles fondly at something you must have said. 
(You still feel flustered, a little fuzzy. You’re unsure whether the heat emanating off your cheeks is from the wine or the lingering echoes of his compliment earlier.
From across the table, you lock eyes with Shouto, gray and blue sitting strikingly atop flushed cheeks. You look away quickly—a knee-jerk reaction of bashfulness. He doesn’t hold his liquor well, a fact you’ve known for many, many years, so you can’t tell for sure whether he’s turned red from the wine, or from the same thing you’re feeling, too.)
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III. LET ME TELL YOU (HONESTLY)
“If y’don’t do shit first, some other loser will.”
“Losers lose ‘cause they don’t get shit done…”
“...just be honest about it when the time comes.”
The streets are calm at this time of night, with cars occasionally passing by and the chimes of shop doors tinkling as they open and shut. Not a lot of people stay up late in this part of the neighborhood, but Shouto still hears them—all the jumbled voices of Bakugo and his brothers merging in his mind. 
He steps onto concrete, footfalls muffled by the cushion of his boots—a new update on his costume, one you suggested after a stealth mission mishap caused by the drag of his heel. 
Tonight is his scheduled patrol—a route he knows like the back of his hand, memorized from the many years he’s been assigned to it. The streetlamps ahead cast a dim glow down the road; an atmosphere he would otherwise find unsettling if not for the fact that it’s provided him odd comfort in times he’s needed it the most. 
Tonight, his mind ruminates on you. 
Lately, his interactions with you have been… different—shy glances and awkward slip-ups; the intentional way he’s been expressing himself more around you. 
He can’t tell what you think of it yet. 
Yet, you still sit with him in comfortable silence on the nights that you both work late, and you still bring in fresh flowers for his desk every few days. He’s sure that when he gets back to the agency after his shift, you’ll still be there, claiming to finish a report when you both know it’s just an excuse to make sure that he finished patrol safely.
You still care for him in the same way. 
And now that he’s thinking more about it, maybe it’s been those little things all along—the same way you’ve been treating him all these years shifting into something deeper and more significant, beating its way out of his chest. 
You know Shouto better than anyone—so much so that his family asks you for lists of gift ideas because they don’t have the slightest clue what else to get him. He’s found himself seeking your opinion on things more and more over the years, and if he’s being honest, a big chunk of his decisions are now partly influenced by what you think of them first. 
Across the street, a couple sways to the beat of the jazz bar they step out of, their hands intertwined and smiles giddy with adoration and love. He looks away quickly before they catch him staring. 
There are things Shouto’s discovered that he likes seeing you do—like how you shift your feet when you feel flustered at something he says, or when you tap your index finger against whatever surface it’s on when you’re deep in thought. Your eyes widen when he says things you don’t expect him to, and something about that intrigues him.
He thinks you look cute. 
He wonders if you know that about yourself; and if you don’t, a part of him is saying that he should be the one to tell you.  
.
.
.
You and Shouto attend only one day of teambuilding. 
The company trip spans an entire two weeks, with each department coming in a few days at a time. You both would stay if you could, but Shouto’s schedule doesn’t allow him to be gone for more than a day.
It’s always been unspoken: wherever Shouto goes, you go too. 
This day of the teambuilding is assigned for the managers and those under Shouto’s direct reporting team. 
The estate is still as beautiful as the last time you both visited, summer shining atop the glistening surface of the lake across the green field. Company trips aren’t typically this grand, but this is also the first time in years that Shouto’s had free time to drop by. 
(It’s a bit funny, you think, watching him struggle to reach the finish line in a three-legged race paired with his finance director. Shouto is typically awkward in most team activities, but you find it endearing, watching him put full effort into things he normally doesn’t do.) 
By mid-afternoon, the day’s activities have consisted of tank rolls, marble balancing, and a classic game of pass-the-message (which, you’ve learned, Shouto is absolute garbage at). And for the final game of the day, the both of you are paired for a duo tug of war against his PR manager and support engineer. 
The afternoon heat burns the back of Shouto’s neck, his cap providing little to no protection for that area of his skin. He stands behind you, rope twisted firmly in his grasp as he prepares to pull. You mimic his stance, bracing yourself with your knees bent as you grip the rope tightly. 
Prior to the game, you were all given three minutes to discuss strategies. 
And so now, Shouto counts, low and steady, “One.” 
“Get set,” the facilitator for this activity announces. 
“Two.” 
You take a deep breath. 
“Go!” 
“Three.”
You both pull, holding your ground for a few seconds. He can see your knuckles turning white from where he’s standing, and when he glances at the other team, they’ve begun to lean back, anchoring their bodies to the ground before pulling away slowly. 
Shouto digs his feet into the earth, the rope’s rough fibers sticking to the calluses on his hands. It doesn’t take long before you both slip forward, being dragged by the other team and eventually pulled into your loss. 
You turn back to him immediately, apologetic as you rub your palms, “Sorry!”
(Before the game even began, you already knew whoever your partner was would be carrying most of the work. And you feel a little bad because your loss does make a bit of sense, you think. 
Though Shouto is strong, you know he’s developed his agility far more than his strength. It doesn’t help that his support engineer lifts bulks of synthetic thermal cloth everyday. 
The both of you didn’t stand a chance, really.) 
But Shouto waves it off, smiling softly. 
“Are you okay?” he looks down at your hands. Your skin is an angry flaming red all over your palms, but what causes him to frown are the small cuts resting at the base of your fingers. 
“Yup, all g–” you attempt to hide it, but Shouto’s reflexes are quick, and he catches your wrist the moment you pull away. 
It’s an instinctive reaction when he looks over it once, pressing his thumb to the center of your palm to get a better look. He reaches for his utility belt out of habit, patting the area above his hip only to feel nothing but the smooth cotton of his shirt.
Right, he remembers, he isn’t wearing his gear today.  
He drops his arms, looking around the field for a first-aid kit nearby. 
(A small chuckle escapes you, endeared, and Shouto looks up at the sound. His eyes meet yours briefly before he jogs all the way to retrieve the red box by the tree. 
It’s just a friction burn; a few small cuts from the rough material of the rope, at most. 
You don’t need first-aid. But—) 
When Shouto comes back, he ushers you to the side, grabbing a few cotton buds and antiseptic ointment from the box. His brain works on autopilot, barely thinking as he tends to your injury.
(You don’t need first-aid. But—) 
He peels the bandaid for you and gently places it on top of your wounds—a yellow checkered pattern decorating your skin. 
(You don’t need first aid. But you kind of get it, you think. It’s the same instinctive reaction you have when he gets papercuts. There’s no need for you to mend them with your quirk, but it’s an inexplicable feeling that makes you feel uneasy at the idea of him getting injured off the field.
A whistle is blown to call everyone back to huddle. 
“Better?” Shouto stares at you from under his cap, readjusting it as red and white strands touch the tips of his eyelashes. 
(He looks unfairly pretty like this. How can he even expect you to answer?
“Y-yeah,” you stutter, swallowing your breath. 
When Shouto walks towards everyone else, you follow, pressing your thumb onto your palm.) 
.
.
.
Shouto drops by the greenhouse at the end of the day. 
The sky above the glass dome ceiling is warmed by orange and pink hues. At sunset, the greenhouse looks ethereal, an almost otherworldly escape. The flowers haven’t changed much from his last visit here, but they seem to have blossomed further now that time has passed. 
He walks past the familiar cluster of chrysanthemums and spots a patch of white flowers he doesn’t recall from last time—a wooden placard with the name ‘iris’ sticks out from the soil. His knees bend to crouch low, fingers grazing over the softness of its petals. 
Earlier today, the estate so kindly offered to let him bring home flowers of his choice, and this bunch in front of him calls out to him, a purity and warmth that reminds him of his mom. 
The nippers in his hand feel clunky, a heavy-duty version of the ones he uses when he helps with gardening at home; but he cuts the stems gently, careful to remember all he’s been taught. 
When he thinks he’s gotten enough, he continues to stroll around the greenhouse, the wicker basket in his hand half-filled with pure, white irises. 
A little further down the path, he passes by the hydrangea bushes, his steps slowing as fragmented pieces of that memory with you replay in slow motion. 
“The lighting was nice. See!” 
“You look beautiful,” he confesses, the sentence overflowing with honesty.
And he decides—
He should get you flowers too. 
Your desk always seems to have some, and you’re consistently on top of keeping fresh flowers around the agency—on his desk specifically. 
It’s only right.
His mom always tells him that flowers can never lie; they bloom where they are loved and speak from the heart when words are not enough—it’s why she loves them so much.
And, maybe she has a point, because the pink hydrangeas look pretty; they remind him of you, especially.
On his way here, the white camellias spoke to him too. Maybe he’ll get them both for you. 
He crouches low again, nipping the hydrangea stems before backtracking to collect a few camellias. By the time he finishes, his wicker basket is filled to the brim, an assortment of pink and white threatening to spill from its edges. The leaves of the irises stick out, poking at his wrist and making the skin itch.
You find him that way—struggling to wrangle in the abundance of blooms into his basket.
“I think you need another basket,” you chuckle, walking towards him. 
There’s something about you and this hour; how it feels like you fit right in this moment, at the peak of sunset, blooming the same way the flowers do. 
Your smile is radiant against the warmth of diffused sunlight, and though he’s seen you in this same exact slacks-and-blouse combination before, the way he sees you now has shifted. 
You look different, but in all the ways he can’t visibly point out. 
He blinks, and that thump beats once more. 
His arm moves before he can comprehend it, the bunch of camellias and hydrangeas outstretched towards you.
Your eyes widen in surprise, eyebrows scrunched in confusion as you tilt your head slightly, your hand reaching out for it reluctantly. 
“Would you want me to have this wrapped?” 
(The flowers feel lush in your palm, and you can’t help but wonder who he intends to give them to. There are irises in his basket too, left untouched for reasons you’re not sure you’d like to know. 
Your grip on the stems tighten. 
The camellias stare back at you, an immaculate white, with the pink hydrangeas adding a delicate softness to them. It’s a pretty combination, and you can’t help but think that whoever they’re intended for should feel—)
“It’s for you.”
You lock eyes when you look up. There’s a weight to Shouto’s gaze that intends to get his message across, the words still barely forming on his tongue. 
“Oh,” is the only thing you manage to say.  
(—surprised; grateful; confused; the emotions swirl inside of you. The shock is apparent on your face, your eyes widening at his admission. Confusion presents itself in the tilt of your head as you stumble over how to express your gratitude.
“It’s not…” you hesitate, diverting your gaze to anything else but that piercing pair of gray-and-blue. Your mind is drawing up a blank, figuring out what reason he has for giving them to you.)
“There’s no occasion…?”
It comes out as half a question and half something else, your uncertainty marked by the semi-lilt at the end. 
Shouto blinks. 
He wonders if he should tell you now, if he should just confess that he’s been feeling differently about you these days.
You shift your feet, your thumbs rubbing against the flowers’ leaves. 
The thump persists in his chest, knocking at the base of his throat—
Thump.
He takes a deep breath.
Thump.
—but even with its persistence, the words still struggle to come out.
Thump.
Maybe not now; it’s not the right time. 
But he says something else, an admission much easier that still holds just as much truth.
“No occasion.” 
.
.
.
Shouto knows your Mondays. 
You switch out the flowers on his desk for a different arrangement of blooms every week. Then, you give him a run-down of his schedule, going over important announcements and upcoming events. 
The mornings go by quickly, with you constantly moving around your desk. Shouto can’t tell what you’re doing exactly, but you’re always working on something whenever he sneaks a peek through the single glass panel cut-out from your shared wall. 
Lunch is a wildcard. On some days, you bring your own; on others, you grab a bite down in the cafeteria. Your routine is largely dependent on how busy you anticipate work to be that day, and though it varies from time-to-time, you never forget to knock on his door—a two-part thump that takes him out of his own little work bubble. 
He almost looks forward to it now, the way your head peeps in from behind his office doors. You call out his name softly, only continuing to speak when he looks up from whatever file he’s working on. 
Shouto knows your Mondays. 
You spend the afternoons all over the place, much like he does; while he roams the city, you roam the agency, attending meetings and checking in on different departments. He knows because when he comes back by the end of the day, you almost always have a new set of updates prepared on your desk for the next morning. 
He also knows that Mondays are when you often work overtime, preferring to get a bulk of any urgent matters completed and out of the way.
The back door of his office clicks shut as he walks into the room, his rubber boots leaving no trace that he’s arrived from how quietly his footsteps hit the floor. He unbuckles his utility belt, one hand automatically reaching for its lock; it’s a habit, the ‘clack’ that sounds from it a satisfying marker he looks forward to at the end of every patrol. 
In the corner of his office is a private restroom that he slips into. He quickly changes out of his hero suit and into a pair of sweatpants, throwing on one of his many favorite white shirts—his go-to outfit on the days he works late. 
There are still some reports he has to look over tonight, but nothing too time-consuming. 
It’s really you he’s staying behind for. 
He glances at you through the glass panel of his wall, your face dimly lit by your computer screen. Your eyebrows are scrunched, eyes squinting in pure focus. 
It never feels right for him to leave when you haven’t left either. 
He settles into his seat, finger tapping on his desk as he contemplates whether or not he should offer you his help. 
You always decline when he does; he can already hear your response. But there are stacks of folders on your desk right now and he’s predicting that it’ll take at least a few more hours before you get through all of them.
He taps his foot, staring at the report in front of him. 
A thump. 
The wheels of his chair roll back, leather squeaking as he stands up. 
As soon as he exits his office, you look up, surprised. 
“You’re back!” 
He nods, walking closer to your desk. “It’s 8:00 p.m.”
You glance at the top of your screen, a sheepish smile forming on your face, “Right.” 
(This is his way of telling you it’s late, you’re well aware.)
He looks around your desk, folders and stationery all neatly organized and labeled. You keep a few touches of your personality around your space, with personalized pens and notepads gathered in one corner. 
They’re all things he’s seen before, but what makes him do a double-take is the vase sitting in the corner, obscured by your computer screen. 
Sitting inside it is the arrangement of flowers he gave you back at the teambuilding, the pink hydrangeas still as good as new next to the white camellias. It’s been a little over a week since, and you always change the arrangement on your desk as frequently as you change his. 
So for you to keep it for this long—
“And how may I help you?” you ask jokingly, biting down your smile. 
His eyes flit over to you, your gaze set on your screen as you continue to type.
(It’s hard to focus on the documents in front of you when he looks at you like that. Shouto’s stare has always been unnerving, but it feels especially scrutinizing when he merely stands, watching without a word.)
“You have a lot of work left,” he gestures towards the stack of folders on your desk. 
(Your eyes glance over the pile quickly as you mumble, “Yeah.” 
A few seconds of silence pass before what he really means starts to sink in. 
It’s not often that Shouto finishes work before you—at least, to your knowledge. You still see him inside his office when you pack your things, ready to leave. 
So, this is out of the ordinary. 
And if he’s standing in front of your desk, hinting at how much longer you’ll be staying at work. Then, it can only mean—
“A-are you waiting for me to go?” you move to stand, guilty. “Don’t worry about it, I can lock up.”)
Shouto furrows his brows, tilting his head slightly. 
That’s never been a thing; he’s always gone home last, and has always waited for you when you have work left to do. He makes sure of it every time, watching carefully for your computer light to turn off. 
But he won’t tell you that; letting you know would mean admitting that he’s been doing it for years. 
He places his palm on the top folder. 
“What else do you have to do?” 
You stay quiet for a few seconds before reluctantly listing it all—reports, meeting summaries, and a few emails you plan to schedule for tomorrow morning. His frown deepens as your list only grows, immediately cutting yourself off the second you notice your ramblings. 
“… but if you’re waiting, I can bring these home and—”
“What can I do to help?” he interjects, stopping you just before you shut down your computer. 
(You can only stare when proceeds to take a seat in front of you, the legs of your guest chair dragging against the floor as he pulls it closer. 
It hits you a bit like déjà vu, this moment, how it feels just like early days back in that rented studio unit; back when you could count the number of people comprising his team on one hand. 
Back then, your desks were just a few steps away from each other, an overflow of paperwork inevitably spilling into each other’s spaces. Because all of the files were stored in your drawers, it was more convenient for Shouto to sit himself across your desk, splitting the work and going over them one at a time. 
Things are different now that the agency’s grown—you have a bigger space, and the work isn’t nearly as packed as it used to be; but some days still end up a little bit more hectic than others. Like today.
“There’s no need,” you reach for the stack under his palm, “I can finish this at—”
“We can finish faster if we do this together.”
That promptly shuts you up. 
Shouto is blunt to a fault, unafraid of saying things as they are; his voice carries an unbothered cadence no matter who it is he’s talking to. 
You figure, there’s no point arguing with him when he’s right, after all.) 
Shouto begins going over a few of the reports that you’ve tagged red and yellow, listening intently as you instruct him on which parts to focus on. In exchange, you make space for him on your desk, setting aside some of the folders you had brought out earlier.
It’s a good hour into working before Shouto notices you easing up slightly, your shoulders more relaxed in comparison to how bunched up they were earlier.
He knows you’ve been glancing at him occasionally, your head turning every now and then to check on how he’s doing—a failed attempt at subtlety. 
“Are you almost done?” he asks, head down as he slips another completed file into its folder. The stack beside him is growing, his ‘done’ pile nearly as tall as the unfinished one. 
(You turn to him, attention shifting to the split of red and white hair down the center of his head, “Yeah, I just—”
Your words trail off, eyes squinting as you move closer to where he’s hunched over. 
Right on the shoulder of his shirt is a small tear, big enough to touch the edges of its collar but small enough that you’d only have to be up close to be able to notice. 
You assess the tear intently, looking carefully for any cuts underneath and thankfully find none.
But—
He notices you’ve gone quiet and looks up, the sudden movement catching you off guard. You make a sound, something in-between a squeak and an ‘oops.’ 
“Sorry, I just,” you point, “your shirt’s ripped.” 
His eyes follow the direction of your finger, finding the small tear running horizontally along the fabric of hjs shirt. 
“I can fix it,” you offer, the wheels of your chair rolling to land you directly across him. 
It’s one of his favorite shirts.)
He barely thinks when his body acts on its own, pressing itself closer to your desk as you slightly bend over for better reach. 
You don’t have to patch up his shirt, especially something so small. He has plenty of the same ones in his closet; and if it comes to it, he wouldn’t mind buying a new one. You really don’t have to patch up his shirt, because he wouldn’t have even noticed had you not mentioned it. 
But it’s that kind of tender care and attention to detail that you’ve had for him since you started working together that’s always drawn him in. 
Shouto has lived most of his life with the means to live comfortably, but since starting his own agency, he’s learned the value of maximizing resources—and it’s all because of you.
A thump. 
The moment your fingers touch his shoulder, he hears nothing but that continuous three-beat thump. Your quirk tingles when it touches skin, but you aren’t mending that—you’re fixing his shirt, separate from your skin, and yet, he still feels the little zaps go off inside of him. 
A thump. 
Up close, the strands of your hair tickle his cheek. 
A thump. 
The fabric of his shirt mends itself slowly, and it only makes him think of everything else—of the leather chair you helped fix, painstakingly going through each and every crack to bring it back to near-new condition. He thinks about every cut and scrape you’ve helped heal without having to, about every time you’ve insisted when he’d shrug it off as nothing. 
From you, he’s learned that things can be fixed without having to change them whole. 
It’s how he’s (you’ve) managed to keep the agency running; it’s why you get along so well with him and the rest of his family. 
And these feelings in his chest are pounding, built up over time to tip over and transform into something more than just an excellent work dynamic. At this point, it’s become companionship, a presence he seeks out a little bit more than friendship. 
You know him better than anyone else does. 
The flowers he gave you are still on your desk. 
So, he says your name, voice low and tender by your ear. 
You freeze, holding your breath. 
Another thump.
His honesty spills outs—
“I like you.” 
A three-beat thump. 
(You don’t believe it at first, the urge to ask him again right at the tip of your tongue. But, he pulls away, unfinished, and looks you in the eye to continue. 
“But it feels more than a crush, I think.” He presses his fingers against the table, grounding himself, “Natsuo told me it was a crush, and he told me to think about it, so I did.” 
Shouto is a man of sufficient words; not too few, not too plenty. But when he gets nervous and a little excited, he starts rambling, and—
“Bakugo told me his mom thought we were dating, and even though I said that wasn’t the case, I almost didn’t want to deny it. Touya has been a dick about it, but he makes good points, so I also owe it to him.”
(The shock on your face shifts into fondness. You can’t see the point of what he’s saying yet, but it’s cute—one of the many things that make him endearing.) 
He pauses, watching your expression shift into curiosity. 
“It started with this thumping,” he places a hand over his chest. “It used to only come sometimes, but lately it’s been happening all the time.” 
Shouto keeps his gaze deadset on yours. He doesn’t say anything else, sentences just barely forming in his head to fully capture what he really means. His feet and palms stay firmly planted where they are, his only movement being the steady blinking of his eyes. 
(But it’s okay, because you can understand. 
If you’re being honest, the signs were all there. 
Nothing Shouto does can be subtle when you know him as well as you do. 
A smile breaks out on your face, the one you can barely contain around him. It’s a little teasing and shy but completely genuine from the way it softens your eyes. 
“We’ll have to come up with something for HR,” you try to contain your smile.)
And he isn’t worried at all. He knows you’ll both find a way, just like you always do.
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additional material: moodboard + playlist
a/n: so much to say about this fic but i'll sum it up with saying this is my baby! and i hold it close to my heart for many reasons. writing this made me love their dynamic and i hope you did too!
thank you notes: to @soumies for literally beta reading this. i owe this fic to you fr you are my lifesaver i love you. to @augustinewrites @scarabrat @stellamancer @arcvenes for helping me a ton with characterisations, dialogues, songs, inspo, everything!!! ily all!! it took a village to write this fic fr. (+ to my bf for sitting me down and so he could explain the whole point system of golf for like 30 minutes LOL)
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comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
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divinesolas · 7 months
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Forgettable date
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r.q: Can I request a sweet smut modern aemond x fem reader where they were both so busy that they forgot about valentines day so aemond surprises reader with a romantic dinner and they end up just skipping dinner for some steamy bedroom time and in the middle of it, aemond whispers to reader "you're mine" and that was his way of proposing to reader, thank youu
w.c: 1.1k
c.w: office worker!reader, fluff, sweet aemond, aemonds job is left ambiguous, smut, oral (f!receiving), p in v, not proofread.
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You were so swamped with work you had no concept of time, you were sure it was february as you had to pay your rent on the first of every month but if someone asked you what day it was you would have no clue. Same goes for your boyfriend of three years aemond, despite the fact the two of you dont work in the same field your schedules just so happen to both be so packed all the time.
as the rest of your coworkers began to pack up their stuff for the day you sat at your desk still fiverously typing away at your computer, you had a presentation in a couple days and report due tomorrow afternoon so you had decided to stay overtime.
some of your coworkers had come over to talk to you as they were wrapping up for today.
“you got any plans after work?”
“no.”
one of them gasps, “what do you mean? he didnt plan anything?”
you furrow your brows but dont turn to look at them, “what do you mean? he?”
“your boyfriend? or did you guys break up or something?” you turn to her at the mention of him and tilt your head, “why would he have planned something?”
one of them laughs while the one your looking at shakes her head and sighs, “do you really not know? its valentines day.”
“no…” you turn towards your computer, looking at the date and gasping, “oh my god. i had no idea.”
“did you guys not talk this morning?”
“we did but neither of us mentioned anything.”
“maybe hes planning on surprising you later.”
you groan and run your hands along your face. what if he was and you had nothing prepared? shit you didnt even have a gift for him.
your coworkers laugh and wish you good luck before they leave.
you have an internal debate before deciding to pull out your phone to text him.
‘aemond oh my god happy valentines day it completely slipped my mind im so sorry.’
you anxiously bite your nails as you wait for him to respond. youre tempted to lock your phone shut as you notice the three bubbles pop up.
‘oh is it valentines day? i had no idea. im so sorry baby ive been swamped with work happy valentines day my love. im about to get off for the day, ill see you once you get home. love you ❤️’
you let out a sigh of relief at him admitting that he had no clue either. most people would assume that he was just saying that to make you feel better but you knew aemond wasnt like that and he wouldn't hold it against you.
‘i cant wait to see you my love. im going to be staying for a bit longer to wrap up.’
You notice he reads the next then decide that you’ll pick up some baked goods on the way home as a gift and hope that you dont stay too long as you turn off your phone and get back to work.
an hour and a half later with a box of a variety of backed goods in hand turning the key to your shared apartment with aemond. youre immediately hit with the smell of your favor meal and a smile graces your face. he knows you love it when he cooks.
“im in the dining room my love.”
you walk in and you gasp at the sight of the set up table set with flowers and candles with your favorite meal plated out.
you feel hands wrap around your waist from behind you and a kiss placed on your cheek.
“aemond..”
“happy valentines day my love.”
he lets go and take the bag out of you hands, “you picked this up?”
“on my way home. grabbed your favorite.”
he hums and walks back over to you after he places the bag on the table.
he grabs your cheeks and gives you, “how was work?” he mumbles as he continues to kiss you, “it was good, report done,” you pause for a moment as he begins to kiss down your jaw and sigh, “presentation almost done.”
he begins to trail kisses down your neck, stopping to suck on it.
“you?”
he hums, “fine.”
hes not much of a talker, especially not when hes busy leaving hickeys over your next.
“aemond the food.”
“fuck the food. i have a meal right in front of me.”
you squeal as he lifts you up bridal style and carries you upstairs to you bedroom. “youre so ridiculous aemond.”
you yelp when he tosses you on the bed and makes his way on top of you, kissing you deeply.
he pulls away from you grabs his shirt from the back of his neck and rips it off before he goes back to kissing you.
you moan against his lips and he pulls away from you hand moving down to your waist to take off your pants, your underwear sliding along with them.
“aemond.” you whine as he begins to kiss down your stomach.
“let me take care of you tonight.”
he licks a strip up your slit and uses his hands to grip your waist and presses you down as he continues to lick at you. your heads reach down and grip at his hair pressing him closer. you can feel him laugh against you which leads you to moan out loud, “aemond.”
“let me take care of you.” he repeats and wraps his lips around your clit sucking on it leading you to throw your head back onto your pillow.
he doesn't let up even when he can tell youre close and youre begging him to slow down he keeps up his pace until hes finished licking up every drop of your cum after you had finished and kisses his way back up and smiles at you.
“happy?”
“ill be happy after you fuck me.”
“you're never sated my love.”
in a rush you both take off the rest of your clothes and he reaches over to grab a condom out your bedside table before you reach out and grab his wrist.
he looks over at you with a confused look, “if you dont want continue.”
“thats not it i just,, maybe we dont need it tonight.”
hes face turns smug as he grabs the hand you had wrapped around his wrist to kiss it.
“i love you.”
“i love you to-” youre interrupted by him pushing into you and you moan gripping onto his shoulders and bringing yourself into the crook of his neck.
“fuck you always feel so good my love.”
you cant respond as he begins to thrust into you. his hands lock with yours and his lips are right against your ear.
“youre mine.”
you moan, “say it.”
“im yours aemond im yours.”
you dont notice as he reaches over into the bedside table and grabs a tiny black box.
“then marry me.”
you feel like you're in a daze as he continues to thrust and shows you a stunning ring inside the box.
“what?”
“marry me.”
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verysium · 10 months
Note
This is such crack brain fart idea 😶
What if some blue lock boys ask the reader what brand her shoes (or something dumb like that) over text and reader sent them a voice message on text and it’s just:
“Hi baby, okay so the brand is—- *insert car accident noises*”
Have you seen those TikToks???
If you do this request, it can be any blue lock boys you want
HELPPP i saw something similar on hinge, and i was hunched over the side of my bed laughing for like 20 minutes. in general, i don't think pranks with any of the bllk boys would go well (unless you wanted to be punted like a football, american-style) but i'm taking a risk today, so here you go:
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sae sees through your bullshit in a peloponnesian minute. he has morning practice, three interviews, and a daily nap to get to, so what makes you think he has time for you to fake a car accident? leaves you on read. (brutal, i know.)
rin is mildly concerned, but he's too smart to fall for whatever prank you have planned. he'd probably reply with a sarcastic, dry ass response or a deadpan emoji. refuses to talk to you for the rest of the day because what if you actually got into a car accident? he would lose all sanity. tbh he can't stand it when people make light of serious situations even if it's just a lighthearted joke.
kaiser is petty. he sends you an official funeral invite titled "in loving memory of y/n." he personally designed it in photoshop and even added those tacky glitter rose GIF animations on the front. coincidentally, everyone in your immediate circle also happened to receive the same mass email chain with those invites, so you had to explain to your family, friends, and co-workers that (1) you did not in fact die in a car accident and (2) your funeral is not set for the 15th. (you never played a prank on michael again.)
isagi freaks out. he's calling 911/119, whatever emergency service there is. immediately calls you and nearly breaks down in fear of losing you. when you tell him it was merely a prank, he laughs in relief but internally he's cursing you out with every colorful name in existence.
ness is isagi but even more high-strung. there is no time to call the ambulance in his mind. he's already thundering down the highway looking for the evidence of your car wreck. calls you and screams ballistically into the speaker: "WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" so yeah....don't ever play a prank on ness. it's for your sake, not his.
shidou takes you up one notch and sends a picture of himself in the emergency room with a cast on his leg and an IV drip. this spawn of satan took your message literally and decided to copy you and got into a real car accident. so now you have to take time off work and sign the hospital discharge papers because he listed you as his sole emergency contact.
nagi doesn't give a shit. he's already chronically online, and reo's played pranks on him before. probably texts you an "ok" and then tells you he's run out of toilet paper again, so you need to stop by the store to buy some.
reo matches your energy. he replies with: oh yeah, i've heard of that brand. it's the—*insert sound of trucks colliding and screeches across asphalt* you both had a good laugh after.
ok that's all i have for now. this is going to reach a very niche demographic, but you're welcome.
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a-queer-seminarian · 3 months
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I made these charts to provide an easy reference guide for comparing the four Gospels! Feel free to share around wherever.
I think tumblr's crunching up these images so visit here for crisper versions (plus they're table format instead of png format).
Alt text version is under the readmore, necessarily formatted slightly differently but with all the same info.
TEXT ONLY / NON CHART VERSION:
Images show two charts, each credited to Avery Arden with a note that the material largely derives from the abridged version of Raymond E. Brown's An Introduction to the New Testament.
Chart 1: Comparing the Gospels, Part 1 – historical context
Mark
When: 
Late 60s/early 70s
Who:
Jewish
Multi-lingual — peppers Aramaic into the Greek
Where:
Rome or Syria (clearly unfamiliar with Palestinian geography)
To whom:
Mainly to Gentiles new to Christianity who were experiencing persecution
Priorities:
Encourage audience and show them how their suffering fit into Jesus’ vision of the Kingdom of God
Matthew:
When: 
Late 70s/80s
Who: 
Jewish 
Also multi-lingual, with Aramaic phrases;
Greek more polished than Mark’s
Where:
Probably in or near Antioch (in Syria); possibly Galilee
To Whom: 
Mainly to well-educated Jews who were debating internally about how Jewish tradition fit into following Jesus
Priorities: 
Promote Messiah Jesus who fulfills audience’s Jewish scriptures
inform church life and structure
Luke
When:
mid-to-late-80s
Who:
Gentile (possibly Jewish convert)
Educated Greek “historian” familiar with Septuagint; no use of Aramaic; expert use of Greek
Where:
Probably Greece; possibly Syria; also unfamiliar with Palestine
To whom:
Mainly to wealthy Gentiles influenced by Paul’s mission; living in an urban setting
Priorities:
Promote Isaiah-like Jesus; challenge audience to live out faith more actively (e.g., by redistributing wealth)
John
When: 
90s / as late as 110
Who:
Jewish 
Student(s) of “the Beloved Disciple” (the “Johannine school”)
Where:
Traditionally Ephesus; possibly Syria
To whom:
To a mixed crowd of Jews & Gentiles, at a time when tensions between Jews who did & didn’t follow Jesus had reached an all-time high
Priorities:
Promote Jesus’s divinity; strengthen unity in a group increasingly defining itself as separate from Jewish ones
Chart 2: Comparing the Gospels, Part 2 — Thematic Content
Mark
Emphasizes Jesus as:
Jesus as miracle-worker / healer; human being 
Unafraid to depict human limitations & emotions in Jesus
Other defining attributes / content:
Focuses on Jesus’s actions, e.g., his miracles; as well as on his suffering and death
Originally ended with the empty tomb & fear; no resurrection relief
The disciples often fail to understand Jesus; Jesus is frequently secretive about his identity
Matthew
Emphasizes Jesus as:
A Moses figure, Messiah, Son of God; teacher
Removes descriptions that make Jesus seem limited, naïve
Other defining attributes / content:
Beatitudes (ch. 5); judgment of the “sheep and goats” (ch. 25); 
Instructions for intracommunal relationships; forgiveness; “Great Commission” (ch. 28)
Polishes Mark’s depiction of the disciples to present them more favorably (esp. Peter as the “rock” of the church)
Luke
Emphasizes Jesus as:
Self-aware Son of God; prophet of the poor
Removes descriptions that make Jesus seem emotional, harsh, or weak
Other defining attributes / content:
Beatitudes (ch. 6) — with added “woes”; frequent warnings about risks of wealth
Also depicts disciples more favorably
Favorable depictions of tax collectors as sinners on the way to redemption; 
negative views of Pharisees as rejectors of Jesus, juxtaposed with stories of Gentiles who express faith
John
Emphasizes Jesus as:
Divine, the Word / “I Am” made flesh; lamb of God
Often misunderstood by disciples & crowds due to his use of figurative language
Other defining attributes / content:
Poetic format, full of symbolism; similarities to Gnostic texts that arose in the same era
Lots of “testimony” and “signs”
Despite Jesus & his disciples being Jewish, John depicts “the Jews” as being against Jesus; his Jesus says things like “It is written in your law…”
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wutheringhestia · 7 months
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An "I'm in Australia, what can I do for Palestine?" masterpost
Petitions:
Petition EN5847 - Provide Consular Support to Palestinian Australian Families (this one closes at 11:59 on the Thursday 15th of February. Please sign before then if you can, and make sure you confirm your email!)
Ask your super fund to divest from companies that support apartheid conditions (Australian Palestinian Action Network)
https://www.aph.gov.au/e-petitions/petition/EN5847
Australia: stop sending arms to Israel (Amnesty International)
Urge Australian Government to Save Local Doctor's Family Trapped in Gaza (petition by family members)
Australia: Reverse decision to suspend UNRWA funding (Amnesty International)
Reinstate UNRWA Funding (Australian Palestinian Action Network)
Grant Palestinians fleeing the conflict in Gaza access to humanitarian support! (Australian Social Workers for Palestine)
Contact your representatives:
Start by finding your MP here
Call or email to ask that Australia push for an immediate ceasefire, provide consular support to family members to leave Gaza, and reinstate UNRWA funding. If that's too much, pick one point to start with! I like to write myself a script before calling, as it removes some of the anxiety. Calling is preferable to emailing, but whatever you have the capacity for is so much better than nothing
Once you've contacted your MP, you can also contact Penny Wong on (08) 8313 8272 or [email protected]
If you can contribute financially:
Donate an eSIM to help Gazans stay connected
Donate to help the most medically vulnerable evacuate Rafah (I completely understand that many people are wary of donating via GoFundMe, but the people involved in this effort do an excellent job at documenting their efforts + keeping records for accountability purposes. Have a look at @raindovemodel @merryfet on instagram for more details
Help El Rahman Inc buy Cairo -> Melbourne tickets for stranded families. They're a Melbourne-based organisation that does amazing work
If you only feel comfortable donating to NGOs, consider the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund, Anera, UNRWA, or the Red Crescent
And, finally:
Come to your local action on Sunday. Even better, bring a friend
If you're a university student, alumni, or prospective student, check whether the institution in question partners with any companies on the BDS list. A disappointingly high number of unis partner with weapons manufacturing companies. If yes, urge them to divest.
Learn the BDS list. Do not purchase anything from companies on the list.
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gatheringbones · 11 months
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[“Coming out was very lonely. I had very few friends. Most of the adult lesbians I knew were alcoholics, chronically unemployed, prone to violence, self-hating, apolitical, closeted, cliquish. Lesbians hated each other. If you found a lover you stopped going to the bar because you could not trust other lesbians; they would try to break up your relationship. My first woman lover went into the military, where she turned in other lesbians so she would not be exposed. One of my dyke friends got a job as a supervisor in a cabinet-making company and refused to hire lesbians because, she said, they were unreliable employees who were disliked by the other workers. The only thing that seemed worse to me than the apolitical lesbian community I came out in was the strangulation of pretending to be straight. I came out only because I could not go back; there was no place for me to stand in the het world. I was driven out.
Moving to San Francisco improved things somewhat. There was more public lesbian space there—six bars instead of one. But it did not alleviate the loathing with which my family viewed me. Nor was San Francisco in the early seventies any sort of gay utopia. We had no gay-rights law, queer bashing was a frequent event, and everyone had lost at least one job or been denied a place to live. It was a relief to be surrounded by other lesbian feminists, but only to a point. Bar dykes and feminists still had contempt for one another. Feminism rapidly became a way to reconstitute sexual prudery, to the point that it seemed to me that bar dykes were actually more accepting of and knowledgeable about the range of behavior that constituted lesbianism. In the bars or in the women’s movement, separatism was pretty much mandatory, if you didn’t want to get your ass kicked or be shunned. Separatism deteriorated into a rationalization for witch hunts in the lesbian community rather than a way for women to bond with one another and become more powerful activists. The lesbian community of that decade did terrible things to bi women, transgender people, butch/femme lesbians, bar dykes, dykes who were not antiporn, bisexual and lesbian sex workers, fag hags, and dykes who were perceived as being perverts rather than über-feminists. We were so guilty about being queer that only a rigid adherence to a puritanical party line could redeem us from the hateful stereotypes of mental illness and sexual debauchery.
What did I gain? I came a little closer to making my insides match my outsides, and that was no small blessing. The first time I met other dykes I recognized a part of myself in them, and knew I would have to let it out so I could see who I was. For a time, being a lesbian quieted my gender dysphoria because it made it possible for me to be a different kind of woman. That was an enormous relief.
For a long time, I hoped that by being strong, sexually adventurous, and sharpening my feminist consciousness, I could achieve a better fit between my body and the rest of me. Lesbianism was a platform from which I could develop a different sort of feminism, one that included a demand for sexual freedom and had room for women of all different erotic proclivities. I had a little good sex and discovered that I was not a cold person, I could love other people. It was as a lesbian that I began to find my voice as a writer, because in the early days of the women’s movement, we valued every woman’s experience. There was a powerful ethic around making it possible for every woman to speak out, to testify, to have her say. But there were always these other big pieces of my internal reality that lesbianism left no room for.
The first big piece of cognitive dissonance I had to deal with, in my second coming out, was S/M. I date my coming out as a leather dyke from two different decisions. One was a decision to write down one of my sexual fantasies, the short story that eventually became “Jessie.” At the time I wrote the rough draft of that story, I had never tied anybody up or done anything else kinky. I was terribly blocked as a writer. I kept beginning stories and poems that I would destroy. I have no idea if they were any good or not. My self-loathing was so intense, my inner critic so strong, that I could not evaluate my own work.
So I decided to write this one piece, under the condition that I never had to publish it or show it to another person. I just wanted to tell the truth about one thing. And I was badly in need of connecting with my own sexuality since I was in the middle of what would be a five-year relationship with a woman who insisted we be monogamous, but refused to have sex with me. So I wrote about dominance and submission, the things I fantasized about when I masturbated that upset me so much I became nauseated. Lightning did not strike. As I read and reread my own words, I thought some of them were beautiful. I dared show this story to a few other people. Some of them hated it. Some of them were titillated. Nobody had ever seen anything like it before. The story began to circulate in Xerox form, lesbian samizdat. I found the strength to defend my story when I was told it was unspeakable or wildly improbable.
In October of 1976, I attended a lesbian health conference in Los Angeles and went to a workshop there about S/M. In order to go to a workshop, you had to sign a registration sheet. I was harassed by dykes who were monitoring this space to see who dared sign up for that filthy workshop. On my way, I had to walk through a gauntlet of women who were booing and hissing, calling names, demanding that the workshop be canceled, threatening to storm the room and kick us all out of the conference. The body language and self-calming techniques I had learned when I had to deal with antigay harassment on the street came in very handy, but how odd it was to be using those defenses against the antagonism of other dykes. Their hatred felt like my mother’s hatred. I am so glad I did not let it stop me.
When I got home from that workshop, I knew that I was not the only one. Not only were there other lesbians who fantasized about sadomasochism, there were women who had done these things with each other. I decided to come out again. If there were other leather dykes in San Francisco, they had to be able to find me, so I had to make myself visible. This meant that I often did not get service at lesbian bars, or I was asked to leave women-only clubs and restaurants. I was called names, threatened, spit at. I got hate mail and crank calls. But I also found my tribe. And because I had already experienced my first coming out, I knew we were not going to be an ideal, happy family. I could be more patient with our dysfunctions, and see them as the result of being scared, marginalized, kicked around. Being a leather dyke took me another step closer to dealing with my gender issues. I could experiment with extreme femme and extreme butch drag; take on a male persona during sex play. I gave up separatism because I needed to take support from any place where it was available. Gay men already had a thriving leather culture, and I wanted to learn from them. I also wanted to have sex with them. It still wasn’t okay as far as lesbian feminism was concerned to be bisexual, to be transgendered, but I could bring those folks into my life and make alliances with them. I could defend them in print. There was even more good sex, and people who loved me and received my love despite the fact that it was dangerous for us to show ourselves to one another. I faced my sexual shadow, and she bowed to me and then danced beautifully in profile against the white walls of my consciousness. My writer’s voice was unlocked.”]
pat califa, from layers of the onion, spokes of the wheel, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000
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starsstuddedsky · 3 months
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Needles and Knives
red hood!jeno x doctor!reader
...
“Don’t you dare die,” you say, gripping the scalpel.
“Already did that,” Jeno mutters, eyes fluttering. “Didn’t agree with me.”
...
summary: Jeno’s plans never included you yet somehow you worm your way into his life. Being a vigilante isn’t easy - but neither is loving one.
genre: angst except i can’t stop them from making jokes so like fun angst. little bits of fluff here and there
warnings: gore, mentions of death, violence, cursing
wc: 16k
a/n: dc fans i am so sorry. my knowledge of these characters comes from wikipedia. medical workers i am so sorry. the medicine in this is NOT accurate. if ur neither maybe you can fully enjoy this fic. i hope you do :) this is as proofread as its going to get..... as always i appreciate any sort of feedback you can give. i hope this story leaves you as delusional about jeno as i am <3
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Not for the first time, you open the door to your apartment to find a man covered in blood on your couch. At least he managed to keep it off the floors this time. 
You can just see the back of his head from the doorway, black hair sticking up from where he slouches on the couch. The head seems to be intact, which is a bit of a relief—being a surgical intern means you’ve become numb to gore, but not fully immune to the nastiness of patching up a tear in his scalp. 
“Still alive?” You ask as you kick off your shoes. Your feet ache from standing for the past eight hours. 
Jeno huffs a humorless laugh. “More or less.” He twists to look at you, holding up a very sad looking plant. “Which is more than I can say for this poor thing.” 
You drop your bag behind the couch and cross to stand in front of him, his head swiveling to follow you. He sets the dead succulents down on the side table. The tuft of white that hangs over his forehead bounces with the movement, stark against the rest of his black hair. 
 His shirt is already off, discarded to the side. At work, you’ve become just as numb to bodies as you have to gore. You haven’t quite managed that with Jeno despite seeing him shirtless on the regular since he seems to find himself covered in blood on your couch at least once a week. Still, you can’t really be blamed for being a little flustered when he looks like… Well, that. He’s got more abs than ribs and broad shoulders that give way to thick arms of pure muscle. But you can never truly ogle because he inevitably is covered in too much blood for you to ignore. 
“I think I just popped the stitches,” he says, referring to the wound on his stomach that is once again bleeding. “No new shit. I think.” 
“I don’t think that’s actually any better,” you say. “You know we usually tell patients to refrain from strenuous activity after they’ve been stitched up.” You retrieve the medical bag you definitely don’t keep stocked from the supply closet at Gotham City Hospital. 
“They usually get pain meds, too,” Jeno grumbles, even though he’s never once complained about the actual pain of being stitched back together. 
You kneel in front of him, focusing on what was once a deep gash. He showed up with it a couple days ago, spewing more blood than he physically should be able to produce. It’s already half healed, though the new stitches will still help. 
“They usually aren’t getting blood on my couch either,” you say. “We can do this all day.” 
Jeno doesn’t answer, staying quiet long enough for you to peek at him and make sure he hasn’t passed out from some injury you don’t know about. Instead you find his dark eyes, filled with an intensity that wasn’t there when you were children. You still find it hard to believe the kid that walked with you to school every day for three years has grown up into this—all hard lines and guarded expressions. Every time you look into those eyes you are reminded how little you know about him. 
Here’s what you do know: Jeno and his family disappeared when you were twelve. Vanished in the middle of the school year, leaving the house next to yours half full of their belongings in the flight. And then you didn’t see him for another twelve years, long enough for you to graduate high school, and then college, and then med school. Long enough for you to get a prestigious internship in the surgical program at Gotham City Hospital, which had you moving three states over into an apartment you had to rent without even doing a walkthrough. It’s this apartment—the one that he sits in now—that brought Jeno back to you. Again, he’s become the boy next door, though you still can’t reconcile your memories of the little boy with this man, who never smiles. You barely recognized him. But he recognized you, and even though he didn’t seem all that interested in having friends, he found out you were a med student and just happened to need stitches. And then he needed help with a broken wrist. And then a black eye. And then, and then. 
It didn’t take you long to figure out he’s Red Hood, one of the newer vigilantes of Gotham City. Or, more accurately, it didn’t take you long to figure out he’s a vigilante. It did take a while to figure out Red Hood, but his eyes eventually gave it away. One look told you he’s cold on the inside. One look told you he’s a killer. 
(Plus you’ve seen the now-iconic leather jacket hanging in his entryway.) 
But though you can’t call his eyes warm now, they aren’t cold either. He regards you with a softness you’ve never seen before, or maybe just never noticed. You duck your head and turn back to the stitches. 
“If you pull these again, you’ll be sewing them up yourself,” you mutter. 
“Well, how else am I supposed to see you?” Jeno asks. “You only ever make time for me when I’m bleeding.” Despite his earlier complaints, he doesn’t flinch as you begin the sutures. In fact, he doesn’t show any sign that he’s even noticed. 
You roll your eyes. “That's because I took an oath. Something about saving lives, and something about ‘no matter how much I want to take a hot shower and pass out for the next twelve hours, I’m legally obligated to keep my weird neighbor alive when he shows up begging for help.’” 
“Who said anything about begging?” 
You pause, needle in hand. “I can leave you like this, you know. You can finish it yourself if you really want to.” And you know he can. You’ve seen the scars. So many scars, which tell the story he hasn’t told you: the oldest on his forearm, perfectly straight, the result of a real surgery; the thick ones on his back that look like they were never stitched up; the cut on his arm that looks like it tore through muscle yet was carefully stitched up; the scar on the back of his neck that looks like it should have broken his neck; and the angry red scar on his left knee that he said he stitched up himself a couple months before you moved in next door. 
You open your mouth to tell him he’s really on his own now, but Jeno says, “I guess I can beg.” 
You pause, then say. “That’s just terrible.” You have to look away so you continue the stitches. “You can do way better than that.” 
“Oh, YN, great saver of lives,” Jeno says, “please do me the great honor of stitching me up. Again.” 
You hum. “Better but still room for improvement.” 
“I would die without you. I would get on my knees if I could. Please, please, do not stop stitching me up.” 
You grin at him and almost get a smile back, his eyes truly warm. You take it as a win—or at least a vast improvement from how he was two months ago. You finish the stitches, sitting up straight. 
“I don’t suppose you’ll sit still long enough to let these actually heal, will you?” Not that you know how long that is. You noticed a while back that most of his injuries heal far faster than they should. He shouldn’t need to come to you for minor injuries yet he does, over and over again. It doesn’t make any sense, but as long as he keeps showing up on your couch, you’ll keep taking care of him. 
Jeno looks at you like he wants to say something but isn’t sure if he should. Maybe this is it. He’ll finally tell you exactly how he gets his scars. How he became the Red Hood. 
Instead, he says, “Nah, probably not.” 
You sit back on the couch beside him, sighing. “I watched a seven hour surgery today, and you know what I learned?” 
“Hm?” He turns, cheek resting on the couch. For a moment you see the boy again, cast in gold from the afternoon sunlight. You can just picture his smile, the way his whole face melts into a gooey happiness. You blink and he’s gone. 
“Surgeons are dicks,” you blurt out, forgetting what you were going to say. “They never want to believe patients, and I get it, sometimes they’re annoying and think they know best, but this girl came in three months ago complaining about pain and Dr. Park called her a junkie. She came back in today and collapsed in the waiting room because he never actually examined her. 
“She was having a heart attack, and if he just listened the first time, it might have been salvageable, but the second one ripped her heart to shreds. Dr. Nakamoto said he’d never seen someone survive a heart that looked like that.” 
“But she did survive?” Jeno asks. 
“Yeah,” you say. “For now. She needs a heart transplant, though, so it’s a waiting game.” 
He nods. 
“I don’t get why Dr. Park or any of the other doctors couldn’t run a simple EKG. It’s not difficult and it would have saved her life but they took one look at her and assumed she was a junkie,” you say, “and I can’t even complain about it because Dr. Lee will just say some shit like ‘medical decisions are more difficult than you think’ because that’s easier than actually checking if his surgical team gives a shit about their patients beyond death rates.” 
You sigh. “The worst part is, they aren’t even bad doctors. They know the medicine, and the procedures they can do—it’s really incredible. I don’t know, sometimes I worry you can only be good at medicine or good with patients, and it’s impossible to be both.” 
“You really think that?” 
“I don’t know.” You shrug. “I’m just tired.” 
Jeno nods, letting silence settle between you. It’s far too comfortable to just sit with him like this, a peaceful solidarity you’ve only ever felt with him. You won’t give it meaning, won’t think about it any more than another afternoon on the couch together. That’s all this is. 
“I should take a shower,” you say. 
“I should get back to my place,” Jeno says. Neither of you move. 
.
.
Lee Jeno doesn’t consider himself to be consumed with rage, despite what the headlines say. Yeah, the mask is intense, but he doesn’t use it to incite fear among all those who look upon his face. He just needed to keep his face hidden from Bruce (and, as much as it pains him to admit Bruce might be right about anything, he can’t deny that keeping his identity hidden is ultimately the right move). 
He tosses the magazine on his desk. He’s got to stop reading the tabloids. They’re rotting his brain. But somehow they’re the only reliable source on the current crop of Joker’s little worshippers. Jeno still can’t believe it took him six months to realize the ads were calling for new recruits to the cult. 
He feels the pit of anger, deep in his stomach, writhing at the thought of that man. Revenge would be too kind. Jeno will take him down, no matter what. 
Maybe he’s a little consumed with rage. 
But he can’t ignore the recent distractions. He’s spent the past week sitting behind the computer doing whatever investigative work he can, any excuse to avoid pulling the stitches again. You really didn’t seem like you were joking about making him do it next time, and it was a bitch to stitch up his knee on his own. The angle alone would make his ribs pretty much impossible. 
Jeno sighs, tapping on his keyboard to bring the computer to life. Three monitors light up, the far left screen featuring the feeds of all the security cameras that show the apartment building that he very legally tapped into. The far right screen shows three different news feeds, local to Gotham, national news, and an international broadcast, volume off, subtitles on. The middle screen remains blank, ready for him to pull up whatever information he needs. 
Hunt Joker. Get revenge. 
It was simple when he first got his memories back. Those were his only goals. But then he had to train, become a better fighter, establish some sort of half-life in the city–which meant figuring out how to pay rent, which meant figuring out which billionaires he could reasonably steal from without them noticing. He admits it’s foolish to have Wayne Enterprises on the top of the list, but the bastard owes him. 
Six months passed by before he finally set this place and a couple other safe houses up. And then another six passed, and Jeno is still no closer to revenge. He is supposed to be better than before, but all he’s done is steal some lunch money from people too rich to notice and take down a couple men who liked to pick on the weak. He hates that he did more in tights than he’s done becoming Red Hood. 
He let his life become too simple. Day after day of hunting criminals and keeping them from hurting anyone ever again. It was freeing, no debriefings with idiots that would tell him that he should have acted differently—should have acted with more mercy. He makes his own decisions and no one is there to judge him. It’s proof he never needed anyone, even if hunting Joker is taking a little longer than it would if he had Wayne Enterprise resources. 
And then you showed up. 
He leans back in the chair, the joint squeaking. Jeno still doesn’t know what to make of you popping back into his life. He hasn’t been the kid you knew for so long he almost forgot about him. That kid died the day his parents yanked him out of school and moved to Gotham city. His parents worked back breaking shifts in one of the factories, while Jeno lasted a month in school before he realized he could stop going and no one would care. He learned how to survive Gotham quickly, and pretty soon he thrived. He barely even noticed when his parents died. 
You bring back memories of suburbs and eating ice cream before it could melt onto his hand. He remembers this one time you were walking back home after school and you tripped and skinned your knee. There was so much blood, Jeno freaked out and thought he’d have to carry you (which he definitely couldn’t do back then), but you just stood up and gritted your teeth and walked all the way back. It didn’t surprise him at all to find out you’re a doctor now, not when you were always so hardcore. 
It came in handy pretty quick, too, though he’ll at least admit to himself that his powers probably won’t let him die. It just turned into a routine for him, a nice way to end his day (though his work “day” generally ends at dawn). 
But nice is for a boy that doesn’t exist, not for the justice he seeks. He can’t keep pretending to be someone he isn’t, and someone as smart as you can’t keep pretending to believe his lies. He focuses on the security feed, watching a dark sedan roll past. 
He can keep avoiding you. It would be easy to clear out of here, especially when you spend most of your time at the hospital anyways. He could do it now—you’re in the middle of one of those endless shifts where you sleep in the hospital. You complain so much about being exhausted that he doubts you’d notice that he left, at least for a month. You’re not friends with him, Jeno doesn’t have friends. You just took an oath to save lives, and he forced you to save him. You wouldn’t even miss him. 
But even as he contemplates it, he knows he can’t do it to you again. Even if all you are is the person that patches him up every other night, you deserve some explanation. A goodbye. 
Rain begins to fall, slow at first, then a steady patter, the gentle wind strong enough to send the rain against the window. 
He hears the truck engine rattling down the street before it finally comes into view on the top left camera. Strange, the bottom right camera covers the opposite side of the street but shows nothing. He keeps an eye on the truck, which rattles by, frowning at the bottom right screen. 
Not just an empty street. Though the sky is dark in the background, the pavement and sidewalk are still dry. Jeno curses, getting to his feet and grabbing his belt. He loads the pistols, clipping on the extra ammo to his belt alongside the gadgets while keeping an eye on the other cameras, trying to see if he missed anything else. Two more screens play on a loop, the transition more obvious with the rain. He pulls on the mask, grateful he made it waterproof. His jacket is last, riddled with holes he never had the time to sew back together. He keeps his knife in his right hand, checking the cameras a final time—all showing empty loops—before ducking out the window onto the fire escape. 
The jacket is thick enough to keep the rain from actually soaking him, but the cold seeps through. It brings an ache to his bones, an empty feeling like his body doesn’t quite belong to him. He presses a hand to his heart, the pressure bringing a new ache that reminds his body his heart still beats. 
He jumps the rest of the way down from the fire escape, landing in a puddle of water that splashes beneath his boots, sending water up to his knees. He needs eyes on the situation. Ideally he’d go to the roof, but there’s too much daylight to be out in the open like that, turning him into a sitting duck. He opts for the alleyways instead, looping around the back of the building to where he can see the street without being seen. Whatever is going on, he needs to drive the action away from his place. 
He scans the road, settling on the dark sedan parked in front of the corner store. It wasn’t on the security camera feed when he left, and as he watches, two tall men with dark hoods pulled over their heads slip out of the back seat. They approach the apartment building with the confidence of residents, though Jeno can tell from here they don’t. He memorized his neighbors a long time ago, but even if he hadn’t, Jeno has seen enough gangs to know bruisers when he sees them. 
But who do they belong to? Who knows where Jeno lives? The people he’s been skimming from? He hasn’t been stealing enough to warrant this kind of a response. No, his life as Jeno couldn’t have attracted these men. 
So it’s Red Hood? Anyone that knows about Red Hood should know better than to send two goons that could be taken out this easily. Jeno switches the knife to his left hand and pulls out a pistol, turning off the safety and cocking the hammer. 
Before he can squeeze the trigger, he senses something, the rain behind him falling on something other than pavement. He drops to the ground and rolls until his back is against the wall and a dumpster protects his front. A bullet buries itself into the pavement where he had been standing a moment ago. 
He moves again, vaulting over the dumpster, catching the man holding a pistol at the end of the alley by surprise. Still in the air, Jeno squeezes the trigger, hitting the man in the stomach. He lands on his feet and crosses the alley in two quick strides to kick the man as he falls. His hood falls off as he lands on his back, revealing an assuming face. Like the other men, Jeno has never seen him before. 
Jeno kicks the gun out of his hand and snatches it from the pavement, slipping it into one of the extra holsters on his belt. He glances between the front of the building and the back. The two goons out front had to have heard the noise, which means he doesn’t have much time before they make it to the alley. But he’s got no idea what might be around the other corner. 
He crosses back to the dumpster, keeping an eye on the man behind him as he waits. The man at the other end groans but doesn’t call out for his buddies. Rain overflows from the gutters, falling in spurts rather than droplets. Thirty seconds pass and Jeno only hears the rain. Are they waiting for him? Circling around to trap him between them? 
He adjusts his grip on the knife in his left hand, holding it so that the blade is nearest to his pinky finger, his thumb wrapped around the bottom of the base. He keeps the blade facing out, stepping to the front of the apartment building. Instinct guides him to the left, giving him enough time to block the bat with his right arm, sending a shock up his shoulder. 
He steps closer, letting the man—one of the goons from before—pull the bat back for another swing. Jeno swings the knife up, catching the man’s jacket but missing blood. He drops the knife and twists, turning so that the man is behind him and ducking to catch the arm still swinging the bat and flip the man over using his momentum and the bigger man’s weight. He hits the pavement hard, sending water splashing all over Jeno.  
The second man catches up from the other end of the alley, firing wild shots that don’t come close to hitting him but force Jeno to step back. Jeno pulls a throwing star from his belt, sending it cutting through the air to knock the gun out of the man’s hand. With his right hand, he takes a shot at the man struggling to get off the ground, catching him in the back. He falls again and this time he doesn’t move. 
The second man charges out of the alley, the throwing star gone from his hand, though it still drips blood. He has a crowbar in his other hand, like these guys want to be stereotypical goons. He moves about as well as the other man, all power and zero agility. Jeno dodges him easily, letting him take a couple swings before he shoots him in the head. The man drops a couple steps away from his buddy. 
Jeno glances around but the dark sedan has left. No one else ventures out to investigate—probably because Jeno still holds a gun. He retrieves his knife and the throwing star, going back to the first man that he shot who still groans at the end of the alley. Blood mixes with the iridescent swirls of run off, red overtaking the blended greens and purples. 
He kneels on his chest. Rain falls on the back of his mask“Who sent you?” 
The man gurgles a laugh. “What’s it to you?” 
Jeno pushes his knee a little harder. “I asked you a question.” 
“Fuck you,” the man says. He tries to spit but the mix of blood and saliva ends up splattering on his own face. The man suddenly turns, moving with more strength than Jeno expected. At the same time that Jeno points his gun at the man’s head, the man pulls a gun from inside his coat, pressing it straight into Jeno’s stomach. Neither of them hesitate to pull the trigger. 
.
.
Caution tape is up in the alley next to your apartment, but the rain seems to have washed away any sign of the crimes committed. It pounds into your head relentlessly, soaking you through your coat. 
Though you’ve been living here less than a year, Gotham’s reputation has held true. Working in the hospital has given you even more experience with the diversity of types of people the city attracts—good, bad, and everything in between. You even worked on a guy who apparently turned out to be a Batman villain a few months ago. 
Between working at the hospital and living in the city in general, you’ve gotten used to dissociating crime scenes with the sense that you’re actually in danger. Besides, you live next door to a vigilante. Who are you to say this is even a crime scene?
You don’t think anything of it until you open your apartment door and catch the unfortunately familiar scent of blood. Wind and rain crash through the open window, pulling your stumbling feet forward to find the source of the blood. 
Jeno didn’t make it to the couch this time. He lies just inside the windowsill, barely sitting up with his back against the wall. One hand clutches his stomach, red blood spilling over the black shirt. His head hangs low, hair soaked by that rain that still falls on him through the open window. The red mask sits in his other hand.
For a scary moment, he doesn’t move. 
You drop your bag, rushing to him. You can’t stop your voice from shaking. “Jeno?” 
He groans when you shake his arm. “Ow.” 
You curse as you slam the window shut and lay him out on his side, keeping his hand over the wound until you can get a better gauge on what it is. “What the hell did you do to yourself?” 
He doesn’t answer, only groaning as you try to reach your medical bag while keeping pressure on the wound. You finally get it to the ground, pulling out the scissors and slicing through the shirt so that you can see the wound—a gaping hole framed by bullet fragments  where his stomach should be. 
“Fuck.” He needs a hospital, a surgeon that’s done more than assist on an appendectomy, but you can’t bring yourself to dial 911. It would bring too many questions on Jeno, who has clearly avoided hospitals for a reason. And he came to you. He trusts you, even if you don’t trust yourself. You have to save him, if only because you’re the only option. 
 You set out the equipment, spraying them with alcohol to sterilize them and get ready to cut. 
“Don’t you dare die,” you say, gripping the scalpel. 
“Already did that,” Jeno mutters, eyes fluttering. “Didn’t agree with me.” 
You gape at him but he seems to have slipped back into unconsciousness. You force yourself to look back at the bullet hole. You can only yell at him if he’s alive, so you push away the thoughts and get to work, replacing any insecurity with arrogant belief that you know what you’re doing.
.
.
Death is nothing like falling asleep. For one thing, it fucking hurts. Jeno supposes the method might have played a factor. He used to think getting shot point blank might be better than being beaten for hours and then blown up (he now has the experience to decidedly answer that question: marginally better). But death itself. It hurts. 
And resurrection? All the pain of death with none of the peaceful end. Jeno remembers crawling out of the ground, forcing his muscles to work even though his body still suffered from the wounds that killed him. 
But it was the pain that forced him to keep moving, the pain that still fuels him now, a never ending ache deep inside that no time will heal. 
Joker may have held the bat, but Batman didn’t stop him. He never stopped him. Jeno remembers the look on his face, the shadowed glimpse of it that he could see. He remembers dying, hearing the Joker cackle, and Batman calling out to him—calling him Robin. 
He remembers the pain. Pain he can live with. Pain makes him who he is. He can’t let go of the pain, not when it is all that he is. 
But the pain ebbs away when you’re around. And for the life of him he can’t convince himself that it’s a bad thing.  
.
.
You manage to get Jeno into your bed after you finish patching him up—which was six grueling hours of pulling bullet fragments from the hole and praying he didn’t bleed out. No one should have been able to survive the amount of blood that seeped out of him but by some miracle (though maybe it’s a curse), his heart keeps pumping. 
He woke up just long enough to let you sling an arm under his shoulders and half carry him into the bed. You spent the entire time praying he wouldn’t pull apart the stitches and bleed out for real, but it seems like luck was finally on your side. 
You should get up. You should clean up the blood, or at least wash it from your hands. You can only find the energy to drag your armchair next to the bed and sit beside him. His chest rises and falls with even breaths. 
Still alive, for now. 
He mumbles again, voice too low to make out any words. His eyes flutter but remain closed. Does a man like him dream? 
“What happened to you?” Your voice cracks. He doesn’t answer, doesn’t show any sign that he can hear you. “You disappear for weeks at a time. You rarely show up when you aren’t bleeding. But you never talk about it, and you don’t smile anymore. I don’t think I know you anymore. I don’t know if I ever did.” 
You managed to hold back your tears, push all the emotions away to keep him alive but they come flooding back now. Tears spill over as you watch him breathe. 
“Your heart keeps beating but are you really alive?” You ask. 
He doesn’t answer. 
.
.
You moved to Gotham in August. The heat was so bad that crime rates were down–making it miserable to carry box after box up two flights of stairs since the building didn't have an elevator. You’d only been here twice before, both times on school trips, never on your own. 
But your friends all live back in your college town, and your parents were busy dealing with a lawsuit against your neighbor for the mailbox war, so you were stuck moving on your own—which wasn’t all that terrible since the apartment came half furnished. Still, you had to figure out a way to get a mattress up the stairs, along with a car full of clothes and all the rest of your belongings. Between the heat and the prospect of stairs, you weren’t exactly stoked about living in the city. 
Two trips had you wheezing for air, leaning outside your door to catch your breath. The door to the apartment next to yours swung open. You hoped someone wasn’t already complaining about the noise you were making. Instead a tall, broad shouldered man stepped out, wearing a simple black t-shirt and cargo pants. 
He turned around, revealing cold eyes and a face that looked like it spent most of its time frowning. But behind it all something familiar called to you, buried deep behind the bitter front. You remembered a boy who cried because he stubbed his toes, a boy who would fight you to make a wish on every dandelion that lined the sidewalk on the walk home. 
He froze, a tiny frown in his brow. “YN?” 
“Jeno?” 
You set down the tote, stepping around it to get a better look at him. Your eyes jumped between his, trying to decipher the hardness behind them. Though it had been over ten years, you still thought of the sweet boy who lived next door often, always wondering what happened to him. 
It seemed that the years had not been kind to him. Though he grew taller and filled out considerably, he had an emptiness behind his eyes, the kind that comes from too much hurt. He looked like it had been years since he last smiled. He barely seemed to react to you, guarding every expression as if you could be some sort of threat. 
“You’re taller,” you finally said. 
“It has been a while,” he said. 
“I think ten years qualifies as more than a while,” you said. 
He just nodded. “You’ve moved here?” 
“Just today,” you said, gesturing to the boxes. 
“You’re on your own?” 
You shrugged. “My parents are bringing a load later in the week, so it’s really not that much stuff.” You paused but Jeno didn’t run away, so you figured it was safe to ask, “How long have you been living here?” 
“In Gotham since I left.” He pauses, eyes flicking between yours. For a moment you think he’ll tell you everything. Then he says, “Here specifically, only about six months.” 
You should have asked. Maybe it would have made things simpler, maybe you wouldn’t be dancing between fantasy and reality, balancing a tedious act of ignorance. 
Instead you asked him if he’d help you move your mattress and what the pizza delivery situation was like. 
.
.
Jeno wakes up sometime in the middle of the night. You snap awake from your dozing as he shifts. 
“Sit still,” you say. “I don’t think I can put you back together if you fall apart this time.” 
Jeno blinks. Even in the darkness you can see eyes are still glazed over in confusion. 
“You were shot,” you explain. “Point blank from the looks of it.” 
“Ah,” he says. His soft voice carries in the quiet hours of the night. “That’s what hurts.” 
“Never make me do that again.” Your voice shakes despite your best attempts to steady it. The tears from earlier try to weasel their way back out of your eyes. “You should have died.” 
He reaches out, except he really must be feeling weak because his hand barely makes it to the edge of the bed before it hangs limp. 
“‘M sorry,” he mumbles. “Didn’t want to get shot.” 
You blink back the tears as anger courses its way through you. “I don’t think anybody gets shot on purpose,” you snap. 
He tries to snort but it ends up sounding like a short exhale through his nose. “Fair enough.” 
“I’m not a good enough doctor for all of this,” you say. “This isn’t a hospital. I don’t have sterile equipment, or a blood bank, or an extra set of hands, I mean, if anything worse happens, you could be in real danger and there’s nothing I could do about it, and I can’t—” You pause, taking a deep breath. “I don’t like when I have to admit I can’t do something, but with you, it feels like that’s all I can do.” 
“You saved my life,” he says. “It doesn’t really feel like you couldn’t do it.” 
“It was a pretty fucking close call,” you say. “Gunshot wounds aren’t particularly easy, and you had to go and get shot in the stomach.” 
He shifts, hand running over his torso beneath the blanket. “I didn't pop the stitches, though,” he says. “I gotta get some points for that.” 
You glare at him, though he probably can’t see it in the darkness. “Don’t make fun of me. I’m trying to be serious.” 
“So am I,” he says, “it was not easy. I sat still for two full days. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve done that?” 
Ask. Get a real answer from him. Stop shying away from who he really is. You have to talk about it. 
“Well, get used to it,” you say. “You’re staying in this bed. I don’t care if I have to tie you down.” 
Jeno actually smiles. It’s been far too long since you’ve seen that smile, softening the hard lines and curling his face into something sweet. “I could be into that,” he jokes. 
And maybe it’s because there are blood stains on your shirt that will never come out and you haven’t slept in about thirty hours and you came far too close to losing the only person you really care about, but you laugh. “Just shut up and get some rest.” 
“You should rest too,” Jeno says. “You look terrible.” 
“Yeah, well it’s your fault,” you say. 
He pauses then says, “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” 
“Well, don’t apologize.” You sniffle. “It’s harder to be mad at you.” 
He smiles again, and you can’t even pretend to be mad at him anymore. It’s too hard on your heart, which has been through far too much for any more lies. You smile back at him. 
.
.
After a day, Jeno can walk around on his own. You called out sick from work, despite his insistence that he’d be fine on his own. He had to bribe you to convince you to sleep on the couch, since you would barely let him go to the bathroom, let alone move back to his own room. He won’t complain too much, though. He forgot how nice it is to wake up to someone. 
He sways on his feet, holding a hand up to stop you from helping him. He forces even breaths, determined to make it to the couch without any help. 
“You don’t have to do this,” you repeat for the thousandth time. 
“I told you I’m fine,” he grunts. Two more steps and he’s there. He takes a deep breath, ignoring the way his entire lower half screams at him. One more step. 
He collapses onto the couch more than anything, but he makes it. He lets himself slouch a little, head resting against the back of the couch. How many times has he sat here like this? So many hours spent waiting for you, watching the sun inch across the room. But most of the time it’s been like this—you at the opposite end, always a cushion separating him from you. 
The fake wooden floor is stained deep red, pooled around where he laid while you worked on him. He wonders what would have happened if you weren’t there. When he first came back he thought he was invincible, and his healing has saved him from a lot–but he’s never truly put it to the test. Could he have survived without you? 
His mask still sits where he pulled it off underneath the windowsill. He peeks at you from the corner of his eyes, your head turned towards it. Say something. 
You stare at the mask, clearing your throat. “I hope you didn’t pay too much for that shitty costume,” you say. “You don’t even have armor.” 
“YN,” Jeno says but you refuse to look at him. 
“Seriously, walking around dressed like a vigilante is going to get you killed.” 
“YN. You know it’s not a costume.” 
“What, you made it yourself? That’s even worse, I mean, it’s one thing to dress up like these guys but trying to be one of them, that’s just plain stupid. I can’t believe—”
Jeno shifts to the center cushion and wraps his fingers gently around your wrist, forcing you to look at him. “I am one of them.” 
He lets go of your wrist and watches you process the words, trying to figure out any other meaning. Your eyes dart between his, panicked and desperate. For whatever reason, you don’t want to admit it, and it’s been fine. But Jeno is tired of feeling like he’s lying to you. 
“I know,” you finally say, sighing and looking away again. He hates that it feels like he’s let you down. But he won’t apologize for who he is. 
“Why didn’t you ever ask about what happened after I left?” He asks. 
You’re quiet for a long moment. “I think I was afraid. It didn’t take long to realize what you were—or at least that you were wrapped up in something twisted—and then it was obvious whatever happened to you here wasn’t good, and I wasn’t sure if I should know that.” 
Jeno nods, gaze traveling to the window. He can see some scattered rooftops, mostly shorter residential buildings of the area. Farther in the distance, skyscrapers stick out. He’s spent more years in this city than not, grown to love it like family. But unlike family, the city doesn’t love him back. It’s not capable of it. No matter how much of his blood lines the streets, Jeno will only ever be one of millions that call the city home. 
Yes, what happened to him here wasn’t good. But it wasn’t all bad, and it’s not over yet. He won’t give up on the city just because of the past. 
And there’s you now. He has these moments where his heart beats so hard it feels like his chest will burst in the good way. He no longer ceases to exist when he isn’t fighting. Jeno worms his way back into reality, not separate from Red Hood, but no longer overshadowed by him. 
“I’ve had a lot of time to think these past couple weeks,” Jeno says. “Time to figure out what I want. For the longest time, it was revenge. It didn’t matter how I got it, how many people had to die. I would avenge myself no matter what. 
“And then you came into my life, and I would catch myself wondering what would have happened if I could have stayed back then, how different my life would be. I even wondered what would happen if I took off the mask, permanently. 
“But this is all I know how to be, and, I think even when I get my revenge, I won’t be able to leave this life behind.” He pauses, tilting his head away from the window and waiting until you meet his eyes.  “I don’t want to die again. I don't want to live this miserable half life where all I think about is getting back at the people who wronged me. I want to live, and when I’m with you, I feel alive.” 
You stare at him, eyes adorably wide. Maybe he's been a little too good at keeping his feelings hidden. It’s alright. He can wait for you to work it all out. It’s not like he’s got anywhere to be. 
“I like being with you,” he says. “I like who I am when I’m around you, and I like you. I mean, you’re stubborn and you always have to have the last word.” He smiles at your bewildered eyes. “But you care so much, not just about me, or your patients, but about everyone, and everything.
“Like your little houseplants that keep dying no matter what you do. I mean, it’s hilarious that you can save my life but you can’t keep a succulent alive. Or the way you talk about the street cats, and even the rats. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had sympathy for the cockroaches.” He finally manages to cut the rambling off. For a long moment you’re too quiet, and he begins to feel the inklings of fear worming its way up his stomach. 
“I don’t know about that,” you finally say, voice soft. “I think they might be radioactive here.” 
He waits but you don’t say anything else. He knows he shouldn’t ask, that he already has his answer. Still, he can’t help it. “That’s all you have to say?” 
Your eyes slide to the floor. “I… I don’t know.” 
“You feel something,” he says, reaching a tentative hand out to rest on top of yours. You freeze beneath him, eyes darting between his hand and his eyes like you can’t decide which you’re scared of more. 
“Tell me I’m not crazy,” he pleads. “Tell me you feel at least a fraction of the way I do.” 
You squeeze your eyes shut, taking a deep breath. “I do care about you,” you begin slowly, “I care about you too much. You have this life, and I know you need it, and I want you to have everything that you want, I just don’t think I can be a part of it when it inevitably destroys you.” 
He squeezes your hand. “It won’t destroy me,” he says, “I won’t let it.” 
“You died.” Your voice shakes. “I don’t think I could handle that.” 
“I won’t let that happen again!” Jeno says. “Things are different now, I’m not the same person I was when I died.” 
He won’t die again. He’s sure of it, not just because he’s learned from his mistakes but because he has something else to live for now. He has more than the family that pushed him to be more than he could, he has his own life, goals outside of revenge. But grounding it all is you, the first person he thinks of, always. He won’t die when it would hurt you this much. 
“Even if you could promise that, it’s not enough.” You look away from him. “I don’t want to die either, and it seems like that’s inevitable around people like you. The loved ones always die first.” 
He opens his mouth to say he would never let that happen but the words die in his throat. He can’t guarantee that, and one look at you proves even if he could it wouldn’t matter. It’s not enough. 
“I think I love you,” he whispers. 
You smile sadly. “I think I love you too. I wish it was that simple.” 
He sighs, resting his head against the couch cushion. “I don’t suppose supreme embarrassment is a good enough reason to let me go back to my own apartment, is it?” 
He watches you purse your lips out of the corner of his eye. He pretends not to see the tears threatening to spill over. 
“I have to go back to work,” you say, voice steady. “I suppose sleeping in your own bed won’t be a problem.” You turn stern. “As long as you swear you’ll actually rest.” 
Jeno winces. “I don’t think I can do anything else.” 
“And yet you will,” you say. Jeno knows it’s worthless to argue, especially when he really can’t promise he won’t do anything. He goes where he’s needed. 
But until then, he’s perfectly happy to wallow in the embarrassment of getting shot and shot down. 
.
.
(please enjoy a brief interlude until i figure out how to fix thing shitshow)
The city always smells cleaner after a good storm. You enjoy walking to work, though the piercing wail of sirens makes it harder to appreciate the way the city almost smells like spring. Green has returned, sprouts of grass and early flowers blooming. You can walk and breathe and pretend like your heart isn’t dragging along behind you. 
Jeno haunts you. You dared to check on him before leaving and found he has reverted back to the one word answers and solemn expressions, a shadow of a person. He barely even looks at you, and you can’t even blame him. You’ve done more than break his heart; you can bear the consequences of doing so. 
Because it doesn’t really matter. He will keep getting hurt and you will keep patching him up. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. 
Even if you can’t stop dreaming about him. 
An ambulance wails past, turning into the hospital. You try your best to push the Jeno thoughts away, preparing yourself for the inevitably grueling day. You push open the doors, the security guards now familiar. You smile at them, the movement of the muscles feeling foreign, and take the elevators to the fourth floor, heading to the locker room for the surgical interns. 
You’ve barely changed into your scrubs when Jaemin appears. 
“Wow,” he says, biting into an apple. “You look terrible.” 
You glare at him. “You look worse. How long have you been here?” 
He shrugs. “I got a whole six hours of sleep in an on-call room, so I’m actually doing great. You, on the other hand, look like you spent the two days fighting guys who wear pinstripe suits and call their henchmen goons.” He eyes you for a moment. “And you lost.” 
“That’s pretty much how I feel,” you say. “Though I still think you act like the criminals in this city are cartoon villains.” 
“The aquarium was attacked by a crocodile-man last week and the guy that stopped him cosplays as a bat,” Jaemin says. “I don’t know how you take any of this seriously.” 
It helps when you have a melodramatic version of the bat guy bleeding out on your couch every other week, you think. 
“I don’t know, being afraid for my life helps,” you say. 
“Oh the crocodile guy just wanted to free his people,” Jaemin waves his hand. “He wasn’t going to hurt anyone.” 
“His name is Killer Croc.” 
“Semantics,” Jaemin says. “But seriously, you’re okay? Nothing happened?”  
You shrug. “I just haven’t gotten enough sleep, I’ll be fine. Why are you acting so weird?” 
“You haven’t heard?” Jaemin asks. “Dr. Moon and Dr. Jung were both attacked three days ago. Dr. Jung is in the ICU and Dr. Moon is still missing.” 
“What happened?” 
“Police don’t really know yet,” Jaemin says, “but it’s connected. These big guys in suits with these weird black hoods were seen around both of their places before the attacks. They found Jaehyun in his apartment, beaten pretty bad, he’s been in a coma ever since.” 
“Wow,” you say. You’ve worked with both of them quite a bit. You spent a week learning about skin grafts with Dr. Moon, a star plastic surgeon. Jaehyun gave you an extra shower curtain when you mentioned you tore yours when a cockroach crawled up your shower brain while you were in it. They’re both good, nice people, not the type to get involved in trouble—definitely not trouble like this. 
“Is Jaehyun going to be okay?” 
Jaemin purses his lips and shrugs. “Still not sure. He had some pretty serious injuries, most of which were patched up but apparently he had some bad head trauma. They called in the Lee Taemin from Central.” 
“You didn’t shit your pants meeting your hero?” 
“YN,” Jaemin says sharply, “a good friend of mine was in the hospital, and the best neurosurgeon in the country, the guy I will one day convince to be my mentor, was called in to save his life. Of course I was shitting my pants.” 
“Did you get to meet him?” 
“I thought it would be weird to introduce myself to him, but I did happen to visit Jaehyun while he stopped by, and happened to mention I wanted to pursue neuro when he asked.” 
“And?” 
“And he said it was a smart decision. Or said only the smartest thrive. He’s very confusing.” 
“So basically you’re obsessed?” 
“Yep.” 
You lean against the metal lockers, letting the cold press against the back of your neck. You think about Jaehyun, hooked up to machines with a whole team of doctors, including a star doctor, all working to keep him alive. How long will it be before that’s Jeno, except no machines, no team, just you? How long before you won’t be enough? 
.
.
Jeno has discovered all there is to know about his ceiling. There’s eleven cracks, tiny fissures in the paint that’s at least ten years old. The color is off white, not cream, though in the corner above the door, they did a touch up with a paint that has slightly more blue. He can tell what time it is from the angle of the light coming through the window. 
He’s beginning to run out of things to learn. 
He misses you, so much. He wonders what your ceiling looks like, if it’s got its own little galaxy of cracks. He misses sitting on your couch, knowing that he’d see you soon. 
 He can’t remember the last time he got out of bed, and he can’t even blame it on the gunshot wound. He's not fully recovered, but he doesn’t need to lay in bed all day. He should be up and moving, keeping himself in shape, or at least hunting down the guys who attacked him. All he managed to do was set up an alert with the license plate of the car he saw, feeding it through all the security cameras he could get access to. 
But otherwise he lays in bed and stares at the ceiling. 
Getting this dejected over a rejection makes him feel like a teenager—not that he ever went through this during his teenage years. He can put on the mask and be Red Hood, but Jeno? He doesn’t know how to be Jeno alone, he doesn’t want to learn. He had his parents when he was younger, then Bruce, and Dick, and the family that began to grow among them. Despite all he used to whine, he’s never truly been alone. 
Will he be alone now? Will Jeno even exist without the people around him to keep him going? Or will he truly become Red Hood, letting the man behind the mask cease to exist. 
He knows what Bruce would say. The mask can’t exist without the man. But Bruce is the reason he put a mask on in the first place. He can philosophize all day long, it’s his fault Jeno ever died. He doesn’t have to listen to the man’s words. 
Jeno rests his hand over the wound. He hardly feels the ridge where the stitches are. He wonders how the wound will scar. 
It doesn’t make any sense but even though his body heals unnaturally fast, the scars remain. It’s like his body remembers dying and wants to remind him—even though he came back once and he’s stronger than ever before—he’s still human. 
And there’s nothing more human than a broken heart. He should be grateful it’s only metaphorical. 
Jeno sighs. The worst part is he knows how dramatic he’s being. But it’s only been 28 hours. He can allow himself a little bit of time for the dramatics. Bruce takes like a month off when a civilian dies under his watch. 
He pulls his blanket closer, wondering if it’s too far to put on some music—something loud, maybe. 
Instead he hears a ding, a notification from his computer. He sits up a little too fast, feeling a tug on his stitches, though they don’t fall apart. 
He can’t spare too much thought to them, not when his screen lights up with feed from a security camera, zoomed in to show the license plate of a dark sedan, the numbers he remembers. It rolls past, camera shifting down the block as Jeno drops into his chair, typing rapidly until the screen zooms out. The larger screen reveals the sedan is one of many, traveling in a line together. 
He sets up the second monitor to plot their movements across the city, a bright red line tracing the few turns they take. 
The windows of each car are tinted, concealing those within. But, with his previous encounter, it’s safe to assume there’s plenty of hired muscle in the six cars. It could be anywhere between fifteen and thirty men, headed this way. 
He watches them draw closer, tapping his finger on the desk. They caught him by surprise last time. On a good day, he wouldn’t sweat odds this bad, but it’s not a good day. He can still feel his insides healing. 
It’ll be a tough fight, but he’s planned for this. He’ll rig the place, take down as many as he can and get to one of the other safe houses. 
The Jeno that lived here will disappear. And it will be for the best. 
He changes into his suit, moving as fast as he can without hurting himself. He stuffs as many weapons as he can into his pockets, his belt weighing extra heavy around his waist. 
Then he gets to work on the bomb. A smaller explosive, more of a popper than a true bomb, but enough to take out his computer and all of the evidence he’s left behind here. 
He wonders if the police will come. Will they question you? Surely someone has noticed he spends a lot of time with you. You’d never give him up, but would you defend him? Would you go on television, tell the world Red Hood is just a man? You’d look good on television. 
You wouldn’t though. You wouldn’t say a word, not to the cops, not to anyone. 
He’s really going to miss you. 
He checks the map. Still five blocks away. Except… The cameras first picked up the sedans in the upper east part of the city, by the Sprang River. They mostly traveled west from there, they’re still north of him. 
They stop at a light, just two blocks away. He watches, waiting for them to turn. 
The sedans roll straight ahead, passing the apartment. He frowns, staring at the screen but the cars keep going, one block, two, and then they pull to a stop. 
Jeno curses, grabbing the keys to his bike. It was never about him. 
.
.
The sun peeks through the windows of the hospital, the only sign time passes. The setting sun casts the parking lot in gold, making even the ugliest cars shine. You pause to peek outside, for once not in a rush. You have to scrub in with Dr. Qian in twenty minutes, but until then, you have a rare moment of freedom. 
Because you’re standing at the window, you see the exact moment the cars pull up. They form a line, like a row of beetles, stopping in front of the entrance, blocking the parked cars. As soon as they roll to a stop, the doors fly open, men streaming out all wearing black hoods. They line up in front of the car closest to the entrance, whose doors had remained closed since stopping. The driver exits first, another hooded man, though considerably smaller than the rest. He opens the door to the backseat, head bowed low. 
The man in the backseat takes his time. Pale hands peek out of the carefully fitted suit, the only open skin you can see. He steps out from the car and the line of men bend into sharp bows. He closes the door and you finally get a full look at him: from the suit to his shoes, he wears all black, but most striking is the black mask that covers his face. It melts into his suit, keeping every inch of his skin hidden save for his hands. 
He must say something, because the men straighten and vanish from your view, streaming into the hospital. 
Is it too late to alert security? There has to be twenty men, and with how Jaehyun looks, you doubt they’ll be able to hold them off. 911, then? It’ll take the cops forever to respond, and it’s too late. They’re already here. 
You could call him. He’d come. 
Despite all your instincts screaming at you to hide, you turn around. The lobby is packed with the final rush of visitors, and 9-to-5 staff getting ready to leave for the day. It’ll be safer to pack in with them than be caught on your own, and maybe you can warn security before mass panic breaks out. You rush down the hall to the large open space in the front of the hospital. 
Maybe it’s the adrenaline, but everything feels too normal. A father holds his child’s hand as they walk to the bathroom. A nurse whispers furiously into her phone. An elderly couple hold hands, clipboards to the side of them. You scan the small crowd, looking for a security guard. 
Instead you find a brute of a man, black hood tipping back as he raises a gun above his head and fires it a couple times. 
“Everybody quiet!” He growls. “On the ground!” 
You drop into a squat, hands automatically coming above your head as screams echo. Someone yanks on your coat, knocking you off balance. Your heart nearly stops but it’s just Jaemin pulling you to sit beside him with a wall at your back instead of the open hallway. 
“Thank you,” you whisper. You slide into a seated position, back against the wall. Jaemin crouches next to you, keeping one hand on the wheelchair of the patient he must have been with before all of this. You peek at him and recognize him as Yoon Jeonghan, the guy that got hit by a truck while biking. He looks like he’s trying to decide if he’s included in the “on the ground” order. 
The goons pick on a couple people, shoving them to the ground. 
“Hands above your heads!” One of them orders, pointing his gun at random. You raise your hands again, Jaemin following more reluctantly. 
Ten minutes pass as goons escort people from all over the hospital, the lobby quickly becoming packed. Half the patients are in wheelchairs, clinging to IV drips while the doctors and nurses glare at the men. Finally, it seems they have collected everybody, and a quiet tension falls over the room. 
Then the man in the black mask strolls in. 
“What’s the saying?” He asks, muffled voice carrying in the open space. “If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.” He clasps his hands behind his back, strolling along, peeking at the cowering hostages. 
“He doesn’t have a pinstripe suit,” Jaemin whispers. 
“I don’t even think he’ll call the henchmen goons,” you whisper back. 
Jaemin shakes his head. He’d probably tsk if he didn’t think it would get you both killed. 
“I bet they’ll still beat us up,” you whisper. 
“If you don’t shut up, they definitely will,” Jeonghan mutters. 
Jaemin rolls his eyes and makes a face at you. You bite back a smile. You’ve tempted fate enough. 
“The name you all will know me by is Black Mask,” he announces. 
This time you can’t help the smile, turning away from Jaemin to prevent yourself from laughing out loud. Even Jeonghan mutters, “Very creative.” 
“I have a list, you see,” Black Mask continues, “people that owe me. They know what they’ve done. I promise if your name is not on that list and you don’t make a fuss, no harm will come to you. I’m a reasonable man.” 
Reasonable men don’t play dress up and shoot up hospitals, but you figure he’s due for a dramatic speech. At least he’s explaining why he’s here. 
Black Mask pauses in front of one of the nurses—Shotaro, a good nurse who you’ve worked with several times. He grabs him by the shoulder, sending him sprawling to the floor. 
“This one,” Black Mask announces, waving at his goons to pick Shotaro up. They half drag him away as Black Mask continues to make his way through the crowd. 
“This is more efficient, you know,” he says. “I’ve tried other methods, but there were some complications. So, I thought to myself, if you’re all in one place, why not just go to the source?” He points at another nurse, Sehun, but Dr. Bae steps in front of him. Black Mask pauses, tilting his head to peer at her before gesturing to the goons to drag them both away. Dr. Bae puts up a fight, trying to twist out of their grip, but one of the men tosses her over his shoulder and carries her out. Sehun follows, stumbling behind. 
Dr. Moon, Jaehyun, Shotaro, Sehun, and Dr. Bae, though it seems like she wasn’t originally a target. All good, hard workers, not the type to make mistakes, definitely not collectively. You watch as Black Mask creeps closer and closer. 
You’ve worked with all of them. Only a few months ago, a case of a man with terrible burns on his face. Your blood runs cold as Black Mask stops in front of you. You stand up, a heartbeat before he points. 
“You,” Black Mask says, venom seeping into his voice. “You owe me.” 
“I remember you,” you say, keeping your voice soft. 
“You remember what you did to me,” he says. 
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” you say, “and neither did anyone else in this hospital.” 
He raises a hand and smacks you, and before you can react, two of his men grab your arms, dragging you away whether your feet move or not. You try to think of something witty or smart, but all you can think is how much you don’t want to die. 
They take you to the stairs, carrying you up two flights of stairs before depositing you in an empty patient room. One of the men stays with you, guarding the door, while the other vanishes. 
You glare at the man, face stinging. Jeno would tell you not to provoke a psychopath. 
But Jeno’s not here. You shouldn’t want him to be, because even if he could be here, he would only get himself hurt, and you won’t be responsible for causing him any more pain. 
He said he loved you, even after all he’s been through. He wasn’t afraid. 
You don’t want Jeno here, not to save the day. But it’d be nice to apologize to him. And if there was only one person you could say goodbye to before you died, you’d want it to be Jeno. 
Maybe you do want Jeno to save the day. Just so you can apologize. Just so you can tell him you were wrong. Just so you can finally admit the truth. 
.
Jeno’s bike screeches to a stop a block away from the hospital. He parks it in an alley, covering it with a tarp and trusting that the locks will prevent anyone from stealing it. He hopes he’s swiped it from the impound lot enough times for the police to leave it alone too. 
He climbs to the roof of the nearest building, moving painfully slow, between the pull of the stitches and the exhaustion of healing such a large wound. But from here he can see the line of black cars in front of the hospital, the setting sun reflecting on the metal, making it difficult to see. He switches to infrared, the mask buzzing a couple times before picking up on the mass of bodies in the main lobby. Majority of the building is far too empty for a place of medicine. 
From his memory of studying the schematics on an off day, he remembers the west facing wing houses the operating rooms, which explains why the infrared picks up a couple small masses. But with the rest of the hospital empty, the four rooms on the third floor stand out. Each holds two bodies, one significantly larger than the other. 
That’s where he’ll start. 
A better fighter would get a better gauge of the situation. Maybe spend more time determining which are civilians and which are hostiles, or figure out exactly where they’re holding people. But Jeno has always worked best flying by the seat of his pants. He still doesn’t know what the hell is going on, but these must be the hostages important enough to separate from the main group. 
It would be safest if you were on the first floor, just one of many in the crowd, but the selfish part of Jeno wants you to be where he can see you. Where he can save you. 
He can’t waste any more time. He shoots the grappling gun, pulling on it to build momentum even faster and angle himself directly at the window. It shatters beneath his feet, and he tucks into a tight ball, rolling once before springing onto his feet. He ducks as the big man swings a crowbar at him, wincing at the sharp pain near his stomach. He takes a quick strike with his knife, slashing up across the stomach first, then across the throat, finally driving the knife into the man’s heart. He crumples to the ground and doesn’t move. 
Jeno pulls the blade out, wiping the blood from the knife on his pants and sheathing it. He turns around to find a figure in a white lab coat, cowering in the corner of the room, hands over their head, glass shards scattered around them. 
He crouches down in front of you, brushing the glass off your shoulder. You peek up at him, eyes softening as you recognize him even though you’ve never seen him in the mask before. There’s a small cut on your cheek. His thumb moves on its own, swiping at the blood and doing nothing but spread more on your face. 
“Are you okay?” Jeno asks. The modulator of the mask twists his voice into an unrecognizable beast. It’s perfect for protecting his identity and intimidating low lives, not so great for comforting the scared victims. Maybe he should tweak that part of the suit, make it adjustable. But you don’t flinch, standing up and shaking the rest of the glass off. 
“I’m fine,” you say. “How did you get here so fast?” 
“These are the same guys that shot me,” Jeno says. “I had a tracker out on the car, which led me here.” 
“Sionis,” you say. Jeno frowns. He knows that name. 
“Roman Sionis, that’s the guy doing all of this,” you explain. “He was a patient three months ago, really bad damage to his face. He’s targeting the team responsible for his care, doctors, nurses, everyone he blames for what happened to his face.” 
“Which includes you,” Jeno says. 
You nod, eyes tight. “Which means they weren’t after you when you got shot.” 
“Hey,” Jeno says. “I’m fine. You patched me up, and I’ve got the super healing, so if either of us was going to get shot, I’d rather it be me. It’s not your fault.” 
“I know,” you say, though you don’t sound like you believe it. “Should you really be jumping through windows, though?” 
He shrugs. “Didn’t pull the stitches. I swear.” 
You purse your lips but let it go. He wishes you would just say what you’re thinking but you look away from him, glancing at the door. 
“They took three more of us up here, and they probably know you’re here by now.” 
Jeno nods. Resolve the situation, then talk. 
“I’m going to clear out the rooms one at a time,” he says, “then work my way downstairs.” He unholsters a gun, handing it to you. You raise an eyebrow. 
“I’ve never used one of these.” You reluctantly take the gun out of his hands. 
“Point and squeeze the trigger,” he says. “It’s semi-automatic, you don’t have to do anything to reload. If they’re close enough you won’t even have to aim.” He forms your hands around the gun, teasing your fingers into the right position and turning off the safety. He lets his hands linger, waiting for your eyes to meet his, though he remembers a moment later that the mask conceals them. 
“Get the rest of the hostages and stay together,” he says. “I’ll be right back.” He forces himself to let go of your hands but doesn’t step away yet. 
He should say something else. Maybe apologize for what he said. Take it back. But he meant every word of it, even if you did too. He’s said all he can, and if that’s still not enough then at least you’re still alive. 
“Go save the day,” you finally say. “Then… I’ll see you after.” 
He nods, turning away and striding to the door, stepping over the body. “Wait for me to clear the rest of them, then get the hostages out of here.” 
He pulls the door closed behind him, trusting that you will be fine on your own. He doesn’t have time to worry, ducking to dodge the knife that flies toward him. He doesn’t let the man get a second chance, sprinting as fast as he can and burying his knife in the man’s heart. He’s turning a second later, using the man’s body as a shield against the second man in the hall, who doesn’t hesitate to fire a couple shots. Jeno throws the first man’s body on him, his knife following quickly after, burying itself in the man’s forehead. 
Like always, his pains melt away when he’s fighting. He barely feels the tug of the stitches, or the exhaustion he felt earlier. This body was made to kill, and that’s what he’ll do. 
He ducks into the room next to yours, knocking the guard to the floor and stabbing him. The hostage, a woman wearing a white lab coat, stands. 
“Wait here,” he says. “I’ll clear the rest of this hall. Don’t go outside unless you want to get shot.” 
She nods slowly. 
Jeno clears the other two rooms similarly, quick and far too easy. He hesitates at the stairwell. He should clear the rest of the civilians if he wants to resolve things quickly, but it feels wrong to leave these hostages to you—you were a hostage yourself only a few minutes ago. But it’s irrational. He knows you’re capable of protecting yourself, and smart enough not to get yourself killed. He has to trust you and do his job. You were the one that told him to save the day. 
He doesn’t bother with the stairs, jumping in the open space between the flights and using his grappling hook to control his fall. If he wasn’t hurt, he’d just drop the three stories, but it’s only a little slower this way. He retracts the hook with a button and sticks it back into his belt, pulling out his knives. 
He makes it halfway down the hall before he sees the first figure, raising his knife on instinct. He drops it a moment later, picking out the scrubs from here. The nurse sprints past him, barely glancing at him. More and more people follow, until a stream of people flood the hall. They part around him, allowing Jeno to make it to the lobby as it clears. Only a few people remain, mostly patients that struggle to move on their own and the people that stayed behind to protect them. 
Where is Sionis? Where are all of his men? Even in the flood of people, they would have stood out. Did they hear the commotion upstairs and run? One of the men fired his gun a couple times, maybe they went to investigate. 
No, they wouldn’t have let the hostages go if that were the case. He curses himself for not trusting his instincts, turning around to get back to the stairs, but the hallway is still blocked by all the people clamoring to leave. 
It takes painfully long to get to a stairwell, but he finally makes it. That’s when he hears the gunshot—different from the pops before, no this is a sound he recognizes. This is his gun. 
.
.
You wait until the hallway is quiet, peeking out the window for good measure. Nothing moves, the bodies on the floor limp. Blood pools around the three, puddles bright against the white tiles. You wait for another heart beat, holding your breath but the only movement comes from the blood, trickling down the hall. 
The door creaks open beneath your fingers. It feels like your footsteps echo as you hurry to the closest door. You make it to the first door, hand on the doorknob when you hear it—footsteps echoing from the stairwell, the opposite side of where Jeno left. They thunder up the stairs, at least ten men. 
You open the door a crack, whispering a sharp, “Stay hidden!” 
You don’t give whoever is behind the door a chance to argue, closing the door and sprinting to the stairwell as fast as you can. You hear a shout just as you cross into the stairwell, sprinting forward. You take one step toward the descending flight but see dark heads bobbing in the space between the stairs. You curse, turning and heading up. 
Shit, shit, shit. You can only go up. The men from the other end of the hall burst into the stairwell, your heart sending another shot of adrenaline through your body and pushing you to take steps three at a time. Even as you feel your body working harder than ever before, you know it won’t last. You have to find somewhere to hide. 
You burst onto the fifth floor, cringing as the door slams against the wall. No chance they missed that. 
You run as far as you dare, ducking into a storage closet and curling into a ball in the farthest corner, hiding behind a wall of bedpans. You shove a hand over your mouth, trying to cover your heaving breaths. Bile rises in your throat as the sprinting catches up to you but you swallow hard, closing your eyes and praying. 
Jeno’s gun rests in your other hand. The cold metal helps calm you down, your breathing evening out as you hear a door bang open. A moment later then there’s another bang. You hear footsteps in the hall, then another. They must be checking room by room. 
You’re about halfway down the hall, maybe five rooms in. You don’t have much time. 
You raise the gun, letting go of your mouth to hold it with both hands. Your finger drops to the trigger. Point and squeeze, Jeno said. You can do that. You aim it at the door, bracing your arm on your knees to keep them from shaking. 
You flinch at the next bang, feeling the wall shake. They’re in the room right next to you. They trash the room, sending vibrations through the floor, until it suddenly stops. 
You’ll have to move fast, you can’t give them any chance. 
Light cascades around as the door is thrown open. You squeeze the trigger, keeping the gun aimed at the large mass in front of you. There’s a loud bang and the gun slams your shoulder back but the man stumbles backward. You squeeze the trigger again and this time he goes down. 
A second man dodges the falling body, taking a step inside but you squeeze the trigger again and again and again and he falls too. 
Shit, how many shots was that? You clench your teeth but they seemed to have learned the lesson for the moment—nobody follows. 
“Alright, that’s enough fun.” You recognize Sionis’ voice from behind the mask this time. “Come out on your own or get dragged out. Your choice.” 
“I’d really rather stay here,” you say, voice shaking. You force yourself to your feet. 
“Fun way it is,” Black Mask says. This time two men push their way through, one blocking the other. You shoot and it hits the front man in the shoulder but he doesn’t go down. You squeeze the trigger again but nothing happens. 
You throw the gun at him, hoping to catch him in the head but he just knocks it away. You start pulling things from the shelves, throwing as hard as you can. It does nothing to stop them, grabbing you by the arms and heaving you off your feet. You twist and kick and try to bite but they don’t seem to notice. They hold you up in front of Black Mask in the middle of the hallway. 
“You are a feisty one,” he muses, watching you thrash. 
“Let me go,” you say. You try to growl but it comes out more like pathetic begging. 
“I’d like you to calm down a bit,” he says. 
You open your mouth to tell him to fuck off but apparently that was some sort of signal because one of the men raises a fist and brings it down hard on the top of your head. 
It sends jitters down your spine as your teeth clang together. You blink tears away, your head lolling forward a little. The floor blurs beneath you—no it’s your eyes, struggling to focus. 
“Now, on with business,” Black Mask says, clasping gloved hands together. “I—”
You nearly fall to the floor as one of the men holding you—the one you shot in the shoulder—falls to the ground. You tilt backward as the second man goes down but a tight hand around your arm yanks you backward. 
Black Mask pulls you into a patient room, the bed pushed against the wall next to the bathroom. He pulls you away from the door until your back is against the window. He keeps his hand tight around your arm, pressing something hard and cold against the side of your head. Your brain still reels from the hit but you don’t have to think hard to figure out it’s a gun. 
There are a few shouts from the hallway but it falls quiet quickly. Only one pair of boots echo in the hall, solemn footsteps that pause by the door. Then Jeno appears in the doorway. 
Blood splatters cover the shirt, concealing the bat motif. It seeps into his leather jacket, though Jeno himself seems to be unscathed. He holds a gun in one hand and his knife in the other. 
“That’s close enough,” Black Mask says when he tries to step inside. 
Jeno’s mask covers his eyes, but if it didn’t, you’re pretty sure he’d be glaring. “Let the innocent go. Settle this like an adult.” 
“Innocent?” Black Mask cackles. “Sure, I’ll let the innocent go. I already did that.” He grips your arm tighter, pressing the gun harder into the side of your head. “But this one isn’t innocent.”
He taps on the mask. “I don’t wear this for fun, I’m sure you know. But I’m not like you. I don’t hide to protect myself or my loved ones—I don’t even have loved ones, and you know why? Because this idiot and the idiots at this hospital don’t know how to do a simple facial repair!” 
“They were third degree burns, you’re lucky to have a face,” you say. 
“Shut up!” Black Mask screams, shoving you. Jeno takes a step forward but freezes when Black Mask turns back to him. 
“One more step and you’ll be cleaning some brains off your mask!” He takes a breath, lowering his voice. “I’ll be the first to tell you, that’s no easy task.” 
“Let the hostage go.” Jeno sounds cold through the modulator.  
“And you’ll let me go?” Black Mask huffs a short laugh. “I don’t think so. Your reputation precedes you.” 
“Then you know what will happen if you pull that trigger.” 
“Leave now and I’ll leave this one alive,” Black Mask says. 
“What, half mad after you spend a few hours with your tools?” Jeno says. “Your reputation precedes you, too.” 
Black Mask sighs. “Then it seems I have no choice.” The gun presses hard against your head. 
“I’ll be seeing you around,” Black Mask says. You squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for the shot but the pressure on the side of your head vanishes. 
There’s a loud bang, and for a moment you’re sure you’ve died, but then you feel a hard shove on your chest. Your legs hit the wall but it’s not enough to stop you from tumbling out the window, nothing but air beneath you. 
You barely raise your arms out before something tackles into you, an arm wrapping around your waist. You wrap your arms and legs around whatever they find, clinging like a baby monkey to Jeno’s side. 
He raises the other arm, shooting the grappling hook and pulling hard. You snap in the air, swinging up higher than you had fallen until you’ve crested the roof. 
“I got you,” Jeno says, arm wrapped so tightly around you you’re crushed against his side. 
He takes all the weight as you fall onto the roof, bracing the landing with his legs, somehow remaining upright. 
You can only cling to him, waiting for your brain to sort out what happened. You aren’t dead. Black Mask threw you out the window. Jeno caught you. You repeat the words over and over in your head until they almost make sense. 
“We’re back on solid ground,” Jeno says. 
“Mhm.” You don’t let go, keeping your arms tight around his neck. 
“You’re safe now,” he says. 
“I know.” 
He pauses. “You can let go.” 
“Not ready yet.” 
“Okay.” 
For a long moment all you can hear is the pounding of your heart. It lessens and you start to hear tires screeching on pavement down below, people shouting, sirens wailing in the distance. 
“Black Mask is getting away,” you say. 
“It doesn’t matter,” Jeno says. “I’ll get him when I get him.” His hand ghosts over your back. “All that matters is you’re okay.” 
“I’m fine,” you say. “Physically fine, at least. Just trying to sort out my head.” 
He hums, second arm wrapping around you in a true hug. You let yourself linger in the moment, breathing in the sharp scent of blood on his jacket. It smears against your scrubs as you press closer to him, turning them slimy against your skin. The jacket hides the warmth of his body, a hard layer separating you from him. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. 
You lean back, letting go of his neck to rest your hands against the side of his mask. Whatever it’s made out of is hard, a thin metal that curves around his features yet doesn’t bend beneath your fingers. It doesn’t look anything like Jeno, the pale eyes concealing the most human part of him. He reaches up, pulling the mask off. 
Sweat makes his hair stick to his forehead, which is creased with concern. His eyes flit between yours, dark and full of everything. For too long when you first ran into him, he would look at you with cold emptiness. Though you can’t read everything behind them now, he doesn’t bury all his feelings. He lets them shine through. 
“It’s not your fault,” you begin, letting your hands fall to his shoulders. “Too much has happened, and that guy hit my head, and I thought I was going to die, so it’s hard to tell what I want to say. What I’ve been meaning to say.” You take a deep breath, looking at his forehead instead of his eyes, at the white streak of hair that clings to his forehead. “But if I don’t say it now, I think I’ll chicken out and never say it. 
“I’m kind of a coward,” you say. “I don’t want to get hurt—I mean, like, don’t let anybody anywhere near my heart to keep it safe, and it works. I’ll find an excuse, any excuse to push them away. 
“I did it to you. Yeah, I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to think about you dying because it always sends me into a spiral, but those were all excuses. It doesn’t matter that you wear that mask. That doesn’t change anything, and I won’t hide behind it anymore. 
“I love you,” you say, “so much. So much that it’s making me brave. I don't want to be a coward anymore. I want to love you. I’m sorry it took me so long, but I love you, I really, really do.” 
Jeno doesn’t say anything for a long moment, looking back and forth between your eyes. He doesn’t frown or smile, his face a mask itself. 
“Oh,” he says. 
“Apparently near death experiences lead to radical reflections and revaluations of life values.” 
And then he smiles, a real smile that curls his eyes and sends your stomach hurtling in somersaults. He presses his forehead against yours, your hands still resting on his shoulders. 
“Don’t apologize for things that aren’t your fault,” you say. You brush his cheek with your thumb. “Save your applogies for real fuck ups.” 
He snorts. “Think there’s going to be a lot of those?” 
“Somehow I think I’m going to get stood up a lot,” you say. “It’s okay, though. That’s just what happens when you date a superhero.” 
“I don’t know about that,” he says. “I’m no superhero.” 
You kiss his nose. “Whatever you want to call it. But you’re a good man, Lee Jeno, through and through.” 
Jeno brushes his lips against yours, barely a kiss. He moves hesitantly, like he’s scared you’ll crumble in his hands. 
Well, you’re not going to die, he made sure of that. You are here and alive, and so is he. You grip the neckline of his jacket, pulling him into a crushing kiss. You press your lips harder against his and his arms tighten around you, finally kissing you back. 
It’s terrifying, how much you trust him. Like jumping off a cliff and knowing he’ll catch you—which basically he just did—you have to let go of the fear. Even when his arms are wrapped around you and you can feel him with every atom, it isn’t easy—a part of you will always want to run away, protect yourself. But you’re done running. Jeno put a gun in your hand and told you to fight. You can do that for him—for yourself. 
You will hold onto him and you will love him and he will do the same for you. It’s all you can do. 
.
.
Bonus: 
Jeno doesn’t know how you slept on this armchair. The back is stiff against his back and he can’t hang his legs off the side without the arms cutting into the back of his knees. He can tuck his head against the wing but it leaves his neck at an awkward angle. 
It’s for the best, though, since he needs to stay awake anyway. He shifts the chair until it’s against the side of the bed and sets his legs back on the edge of the bed, crossing one over the other and resting his elbows on the armrest. You raise your eyebrows at his feet but don’t tell him to move. He’ll give it a good twenty minutes before he tries to sit on the bed. He wonders if you’ll kick him out if he just asks outright if he can curl up next to you. Better to ease into it. 
You look radiant, wearing a big t-shirt curled under the blankets. Your lips curl into a little smile every time you catch him looking at you (which is pretty much always). 
“I’m going to invest in a big ass taser,” you say, still listing out your plan to keep yourself safe. “And some heavy duty pepper spray.” 
“I can teach you how to shoot a gun,” Jeno offers. 
You make a face, nose scrunching. 
“No?” 
You shake your head slowly. “No thank you. My arms hurt.”  
“How about some hand-to-hand?” He asks. 
“Are you going to be able to keep your hands to yourself?” 
“What are you talking about?” 
You look pointedly at his hand, which has found yours, fingers tapping on your knuckles. Huh, he didn’t realize he was doing that. He raises both hands, holding them up like a criminal waiting to be arrested. 
“My bad,” he says, setting them in his lap. Your bottom lip juts out for a second but you’re too proud to ask him to hold it again. He bites back a smile at the little war behind your eyes. 
“How’s your head?” He asks. 
“Concussed,” you say flatly. 
“You want to sleep?” He asks. 
“Not yet,” you say. You finally concede, reaching out a hand for him. He puts his feet down, slipping out of the chair to sit on the edge of the bed, clasping his hand over yours. Your shoulder rests against his hip. You blink up at him. 
“What?” He asks. “Is this okay?” 
You nod slowly, studying him with piercing eyes. He gets the feeling you see right through him, so he turns his gaze to your intertwined fingers. 
“What did you think of me when you first saw me? When you moved here, I mean,” he asks. 
You pause for a long moment. “Honestly?” 
“Yeah.” 
“I thought you were unemployed for at least two months.” 
Jeno snorts. 
“I mean pretty much every time I knocked you were wearing sweats and half the time you looked like you had just woken up!” 
Jeno scratches the back of his head with his free hand. “I don’t wear sweats that often.” 
You pause for a moment and he doesn’t dare peek at your face. “When you asked me to sew up your scalp, I figured it was either vigilante or something worse, and then I saw Red Hood on the news and I just knew.” 
He looks at you, head tilted down to see the top of your head. “Really?” 
“It looks like you,” you say. You pause before adding, “Plus you’ve got that leather jacket hanging in your entryway. What’s up with that, by the way?” 
“What?” 
“Your ‘suit.’ A leather jacket and cargo pants?” 
“They’re functional,” he says. 
“Your name is Red Hood and you don’t even have a hood. It’s a mask.” 
“Well a hood doesn’t exactly protect you,” he says, “and it strikes fear into my enemies.” 
You snort. “Does the black t-shirt help with that?” 
“Yeah, I can’t defend that one,” he says. “It’s cheap and easy.” 
“No wonder you died,” you say. 
“I take personal offense at that,” Jeno says. 
You yawn. “Okay buddy.” You scoot over a little. “Just lay down already.” 
Jeno grins, shifting to pull the covers up and slide his legs down them. He stretches out, rolling as close as he dares to you. His arm hovers over you until you shake your head and pull it over your waist, shifting until he all but lays on top of you. Your shoulder presses against his chest, his head resting on the same pillow only a breath away from you. 
“If you wanted to cuddle you could have just asked,” you say. 
“Where’s the fun in that?” 
You turn your head to meet his eyes, nose brushing against his. He could melt into your eyes, so warm and full of a happiness he hardly recognizes. He hopes he looks a fraction as happy as you do—and he hopes you know it’s only a fraction of how he feels. 
He didn’t think he’d ever feel happy again. Even if he finally got his revenge on Joker and Batman, it would be bittersweet at best, the end goal of a bitter fight that started when he dragged himself out of that grave. 
But he is happy. It’s the warmth that courses through every fiber of his body, the way his heart pounds every time he looks at you, the hope he feels when he thinks of the “after.” 
“You know it’s been years since the last time I smiled?” He says. 
“Yeah, I could tell.” Your eyes soften impossibly more. You rest your hand against his cheek again, fingers soft and careful as they trace the lines of his smile. They work their way to his lips, ghosting over the soft skin. 
“I think that part is over,” Jeno says. “Hating the world.” He presses a kiss on your thumb. “I’d like to be happier now. 
“Red Hood is a part of who I am, and it always will be. But Jeno is too, and I won’t let go of that.” He tightens his arm. “I’d like to hold onto you, too, though.” 
You grin. “I’d like that too.” You press a short kiss to his lips. “But my head hurts and right now I’d really just like to go to bed.” 
Jeno nods, shifting away only to turn off the lamp on your bedside table. He curls back around you, tucking his head against your neck and pulling you as close to him as he can. He is Jeno, he is Red Hood, and he isn’t alone anymore. 
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thank you for reading!! likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated
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if-you-fan-a-fire · 2 years
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“Police Keeping Strict Watch Through Province On Radical Programs,” Kingston Whig-Standard. June 10, 1932. Page 1. ---- TORONTO, June 10.- Provincial Police are keeping a strict watch throughout Ontario on radical demonstrations planned for various days this month, said Alfred Cuddy, Deputy Commissioner, last night, commenting on a despatch from Brantford to the effect pamphlets had been circulated there calling for a solidarity day of the Workers' International Relief June 12. 
On that day, according to the circulars found in Brantford, "workers of all capitalistic and colonial countries will pledge their fighting solidarity to the common struggles against capitalist oppression.”
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sayruq · 6 months
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They were volunteers for the International Kitchen Relief Organization. Their nationalities are Palestinian, Irish, Polish, Australian, and British.
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zvaigzdelasas · 6 months
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Celebrity chef José Andrés' World Central Kitchen, among the largest providers of desperately needed humanitarian aid to Gaza, is pausing its operations following the deaths of 7 workers in an Israeli airstrike, the organization said Tuesday.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said an investigation into "a tragic case of our forces unintentionally hitting innocent people" was underway.
Despite coordinating movements with the Israeli military, the convoy was hit Monday as it was leaving the Deir al-Balah warehouse, WCK said. The team had unloaded more than 100 tons of humanitarian food aid brought to Gaza on the maritime route.
The workers killed include a Palestinian and citizens from Australia, Poland, United Kingdom and a dual citizen of the U.S. and Canada. [...]
Haaretz reported that Israelis fired three missiles in quick succession at three vehicles[...]
Netanyahu vowed Tuesday to probe the deaths of the World Central Kitchen workers.
"It happens in war," he said [sic]. "We are conducting a thorough inquiry and are in contact with the governments. We will do everything to prevent a recurrence."[...]
Hamas condemned the "heinous act" and demanded the U.N. Security Council put an end to Israel's "crimes of the occupation and its aggression" against Palestinians and their supporters.
"This crime reaffirms that the occupation still insists on the policy of systematic killing against defenseless civilians and against international relief teams and humanitarian organizations, within the framework of efforts to terrorize their employees, to prevent them from continuing their humanitarian duties," the militant group said in a statement.[...]
“I am heartbroken and appalled that we, World Central Kitchen, and the world lost beautiful lives today because of a targeted attack by the Israeli military," CEO Erin Gore said.[...]
The United Nations agency charged with leading the humanitarian aid effort in Gaza has complained for months about obstacles created by Israeli officials. In a report issued Monday, prior to the WCK tragedy, the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA) said that "access impediments continue to severely compromise the ability of humanitarian actors to reach people in the Gaza Strip." Since March 1, 30% of humanitarian aid missions to northern Gaza were denied by Israeli authorities, the agency said.[...]
The obstacles prompted other efforts, including sea shipment such as the one World Central Kitchen was using Monday. The U.S., partnering with Jordan and other regional nations, has also used airdrops. But trucking aid in from Egypt is viewed as the best method for meeting the tremendous demand.
2 Apr 24
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Prime Minister Justin Trudeau pushed back Thursday on comments made by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu about an Israeli military airstrike that killed seven aid workers in Gaza, including one Canadian.
In a video statement released earlier this week, Netanyahu expressed regret over the incident and called it a "tragic case of our forces unintentionally hitting innocent people in the Gaza Strip." He also said "this happens in wartime" and that Israel was looking into the situation.
"No, it doesn't just happen," Trudeau said Thursday during an event in Winnipeg. "And it shouldn't just happen when you have aid workers for an extraordinary organization like World Central Kitchen risking their lives every day in an incredibly dangerous place to deliver food to people who are experiencing a horrific humanitarian catastrophe."
Jacob Flickinger, a 33-year-old Canadian veteran, was killed by the Israeli airstrike, along with six other aid workers. The incident has triggered widespread international condemnation. U.S. President Joe Biden said he was "outraged and heartbroken" by the incident. [...]
More than 196 humanitarian workers, many of them Palestinians working for UNRWA (United Nations Relief and Works Agency), have been killed since the war's start in October, according to Aid Worker Security Database, a U.S.-funded group recording major incidents of violence against aid personnel. [...]
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Tagging: @politicsofcanada
Note from the poster @el-shab-hussein: Trudeau can choke and die on this condemnation that is over 40 000 dead Palestinians too late. Fucking filth. He can open his mouth to condemn Israeli terrorism, just not when it's aimed at us subhuman Palestinians. Fuck all of them. Fuck Biden, fuck Trudeau, fuck every piece of shit who believes we're beneath them.
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xueyuverse · 7 months
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Links for donations to Sudan
UNHCR ACNUR: People are being forced to flee amid fighting and refugees are arriving in neighboring Chad in desperate need of help.
UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency, is on the ground assisting newly arrived refugees and providing life-saving support.
CICV: Health care could collapse at any time, despite the best efforts of Sudanese health teams, who continue to work in extremely difficult conditions, caring for injured people and providing other essential services to the population.
There are severe shortages of water, energy, food and essential medical supplies.
Sudan Relief Fund: CRISIS APPEAL: Nearly 7.1 million people displaced in Sudan. Destruction of healthcare facilities, disruption of critical healthcare services like immunizations, newborn care and availability of healthcare workers is putting many at risk of death and life-threatening complications. We need every bit of help in generating a relief fund to continue our efforts in Sudan.
Sudanese family of 8 struggling to escape the War.
Emergency response in Sudan: UNICEF continues to call for an immediate ceasefire across Sudan, and reiterates its call for all parties to the conflict to respect international humanitarian and human rights law – including ensuring that children are protected – and that rapid, safe, unimpeded humanitarian access to children and families in affected areas is facilitated. Without such access, critical lifesaving humanitarian support will be out of reach for millions of vulnerable children.
Despite the challenges, UNICEF and partners have provided life-saving assistance to more than 6 million children inside Sudan and in neighbouring countries, including water, health, nutrition, safe spaces and learning.
Sudan: A deepening humanitarian crisis: Sudan has plunged into a conflict of alarming scale, leaving half of the population in need of urgent assistance to survive.
This comes on top of existing challenges including economic hardship, disease outbreaks and climate-related hazards.
Families are struggling to access water, food, fuel, and other critical commodities and they need urgent help.
Be a lifeline to Migrants in need: With almost 25 million people - half the population - in need of some form of aid, the situation is particularly dire for the more than 7 million people displaced within Sudan.
Periods Don’t Stop for War! Stand with Sudanese Women and Girls: They Need Your Help Now!: SIHA Network will partner with the PNDS (Fawta Tsed Alkhana – Pad Needed, Dignity Seeded) Initiative and Sustainable Development Response Organization (SUDRO) on a campaign to collective donations and use them to buy and distribute the crucial menstrual dignity kit items Sudanese women and girls desperately need right now.  
Through providing menstrual products, the risk on women and girls’ health can be decreased and their well-being can be improved. 
You can also donate to MSF International here and for MSF Sudan here.
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