#would you all still love me

[rpnsl]

and if i wanted to remake this blog? what then?

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[sam-violet]

chillin in the hot springs 🌱

+ a closeup

[cherrirui-official]

I hope u guys don't mind me posting these au doodles while I work on things ahaha

I also gave JD slightly longer hair in these doodles as a funny haha but I don't think it's funny anymore he looks genuinely good with his hair like that ahahaha I hope you're not mad at me for changing his au design a bit

[tsuchinokoroyale]

If you’re cold, I’m cold... Stick it inside 🥶

[1pcii]

if Zoro asked Luffy 'would you still love me if I was a worm?' Luffy would be vibrating out of his skin with excitement detailing how he would take care of Zoro and build him a special little enclosure and make him little swords out of sticks so he can still achieve his dream of being the world's greatest swordsworm and feed him worm sized portions of meat and booze everyday and carry him around everywhere so they can still do everything together.

he also delightfully rambles about how he could be a worm also and they'd go on worm adventures together and make friends with all sorts of other bugs and how much fun they'd have.

edit: there's fanart for this scenario now! show it lots of love it's absolutely adorable!!!

[yooboobies]

angel sunshine for an angel sunshine | for @huhfeatjhope

[egophiliac]

Do yoy like their silly little dance

the inside of my brain at any given moment:

[aquaticpal]

Kids were demanding pancake art. It's been a while, let's go!

Oh god I think I overdid it how am I gonna flip her

Omg I did it lmao this was definitely way too much

[crescentfool]

the great seal <3

[swedenis-h]

Change

[aro-aizawa]

i like to think everyone has a colour associated with them, whether its just your fave colour or what you generally wear most of or what colour your bedroom walls are. i always associate the name sophie with dark blue, my mum is always a nice turquoise, i like to think my colour is a bright sunflower yellow.

if you have a specific shade pls tell me i adore when ppl have associated colours and tell me them, bc i think of them when i see that colour

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

[wixiany]

Not to be that person, but if Stranger Things ends up with Steve and Nancy getting back together, either Will or Robin dead, no ronance, no steddie, no byler, nothing beyond ‘up to interpretation’ of Will’s sexuality, Mike and El happy together... I don’t know, as a queer person, I will be upset.