#would you stand up and walk out on me
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my thesis statement will of course always be that the angels + demons in good omens are aspec (and nonbinary) but crowley specifically was so aromantic this season. man who goes "oh, romance? yeah, i know how that works. practically an expert. i've picked up so much from the way that people talk about it and represent it in media. i know all the perfect steps to execute romance. it has nothing to do with personhood and feelings; there's a certain list of requirements, certain steps that you take, certain subjective prerequisites to be fulfilled, and then you'll have romance. easy. simple." when he has no idea how romance actually works because it's never been something that was accessible or valuable to him. the general conventions for love seem so simple from the outside when you pick up an idea of it through cultural osmosis but not any real experience or investment in the idea. maggie and nina come in to tell him that he can't be messing with people's love lives because it's serious and personal but how should he know? when you're outside of it and don't even realize that you're outside of it, romance is just a thing that happens. and it seems so simple...
#screaming wailing throwing things punching walls that's aro representation actually#when i say the angels and demons are all aspec and nonbinary. i of course mean That in a sense of like.#they don't align with any of our constructions of sexuality or gender because they're not built with the same inner workings#but by our definitions they're closer to those concepts than to 'conventional' conceptions of gender and sexuality#anyway crowley is so me walking into my middle school classes on the first day of school and picking out a suitable crush for the year#based on effusive criteria that i picked up from media and popular culture and the expectation that i Should have a crush#because those were the steps you took. at least it seemed like that to me.#this applies to aziraphale too of course#when all the romance you've known or seen takes place under awnings in the rain or at jane austen balls. of course it stands to reason#that the same would be true of any love in real life. cause how else would it work#anyway that kiss was so aromantic it's crazy#good omens#good omens 2#aromantic#aro#crowley
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Explaining my hare brained schemes as to why I work so much and what I’m doing every day makes me sound like an actual psycho
#like y’all im about to go to school and move across my state i’m just working constantly to get my savings up so i wont be breaking my back#trying to pay bills while im also in school full time standing and cutting hair every day#and also i have two jobs rn and cook every day and help my family by doing in home care for my grandpa#which isnt really a job#i get paid for it prob like an extra $100 a month but i only do it because they need the help and cant afford a nurse and the va wont cover#one even though he can hardly walk and cant lift anything and is blind and deaf#its actually bullshit#they only cover me for like 6 hrs a week or smth but i definitely do a lot more#so basically im exhausted as fuck every day#💀😭 but im getting my education soon and going on a cruise next yr#so i’ll be alright#goth girl on the boat is going to be awesome#i have 2 swimsuits but i wanna get a couple more#and some pretty dresses to wear in the evenings#i havent rlly drank much at all since i turned 21 so 22 will be the yr i get plastered on the cruise#i dont even rlly smoke anymore#i havent actually BOUGHT weed in 4 months now#i got weed for my bday#sometimes i have the occasional edible#but ive cut down so so much and have just stopped smoking entirely#not that i wouldnt socially or anything#but asthma. smoking is bad for me. my asthma is actually hugely caused by a lifetime of secondhand smoke.#and ive also been cooking dinner every night#and working out a lot again#so im actually doing great rn#😭 need to clean my place but its so hard to find the energy with everything else im doing#but i swore to myself id do it today#and i think my roommate would be glad if i did my fucking laundry#ignore my grammatical errors or i’ll bite you#i need like… a good dicking.. or a good fingering…. or head
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✦ B L A C K M A G E
Black magic.
The tempest of fire and ice and thunder that has been with her for as long as she can remember. Her control over it made her a force to be reckoned as a youth, the key to the specialized unit her parents staked their lives on. It has been many years since then. She has lost her strength and her focus to an enemy, clawed it back and reclaimed it in the aftermath, continued to grow with every step of the journey.
Though she has moved on in many ways, she will always return to her roots.
—level 90 compendium
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#gpose#gposers#ffxiv gpose#blm#black mage#lvl 90 compendium#myreia screenshots#aureia malathar#oc tag#black mage my beloved#i'm one of those fools who genuinely likes this ridiculous job because it's completely antithetical to the game's design#here's a game about movement! play a job built around not moving i'm sure it's fine#and totally not broken + more punishing than elden ring on a bad day at low levels!#why have freedom of movement when you can stand there and take an aoe straight to the face manaward will protect you it's fine!!#why have a relaxing time gaming when you can be in a permanent state of stress from playing chicken with the boss#if you think blm is slow and boring you're wrong because everything is actually happening all the time all at once!#enjoy the adrenaline rush of being tied to your cast time and playing 4D chess and if you mess up you die!#you have endless mana (unless you messed up) but ahahahaha you don't get a self-heal and you can't rez bc then you would be too powerful 🙃#good times good times are you having fun yet because i sure am 😎#i always say blm is perfectly mobile why walk when you can ✨teleport ✨#next healer to rip me out of my ley lines early before I slide cast + teleport gets their caster privileges revoked#and has to go to blm boot camp#anyway#this is aur at her roots#battlemage 😎 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
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꒰୨୧꒱
#the thing is that even if i always long for a relastionship...#i've never even been in one and idk how they work & im so scared of many things#i have sm troubles and issues with touch. i've gotten to a place where i cant even stand my own sisters or mom bumping into me#and outside i cant stand when someone accidentally walks into me or touching someone's legs on the bus#i hate it. it's not only feeling uncomfortable i feel distressed and scared and sick#smth that seems very normal in like all couples is that youre 'allowed' to touch eo all thge time whenever#that scares me a lot. like touch is so scary for me. and when youre in a relationship theres just this silent agreement that you can touch#eo all the time and thats like... how it's supposed to be.... ://#thats so scary to me. that theres this expectation and demand that if im someones gf they should be allowed to touch me whnever#and like i've never been in love and been in a relationship and been touched by that person so idk#maybe it wouldnt be an issue. but just thinking that.. i dont belong completely to myself and therefore give up#the right to not be touched if and when i feel distressed or uneasy is too scary for me#maybe i could learn to feel safe with them and want their touch but rn it scares me skskks#what if they kiss me when im feeling extremely sex reoulsed and wanna kill myself bc of my inner agony#and they get hurt when i try to pull away?#bc regardless of what ppl say... it is a truth that in a relationship youre exoected to want physical touch at all times#and it is seen as an insult to your partner if there are other forces within u (like trauma etc) that makes u sometimes uncomfortable w it#but yeah idk... the problem is that... in humanity and society#consent is one of the least important and prioritized things. as a humanbeing living u will have your consent disregarded countless times#and for me personally consent is one of the most important things. & thats one of the reasons why its so hard for me to live in this society#like yes i do want to have a partner and touch and be touched#but what if we're in the store and im feeling particularly bad that day and feel like#i need to turn myself inside out and peel my skin off and feel anxious and scared#and they just casually grab my ass?? then i will go home and kill myself :) or have a breakdown in the store lol#i dont want to go thru this but i also dont wanna put someone else thru it#and like it would be different if they asked first if i was ok being touched and i said yes#and if i said no theyd respect me and not get hurt#but like be for real.... almost nobody does that. and almost everyone thinks thats lame#in most relationships nobody asks eo. youre expected to just always be ok with it. if u want to be asked youre silly and demanding#nobody asks their partner abt that. that just dont happen lmao. so idk. :((( i wish i was normal
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It was twenty years ago today
Sage Gorion sent his ward away
He adventured for a little while
Learned he was the god of murder's child
So may I introduce to you
The act you've known for all these years
Sgt. Baldur's Lonely Gates Club Bard!
#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#bg3#bg3 spoilers#tav mccartney#shadowheart#shadowharrison#lae'zel#joan lae'nnon#gale of waterdeep#richard of liverpool#sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club band#the beatles#beatles#baldur's gate#larian studios#fun is the one thing that money can't(?) buy#what would you do if i ate all your boots#would you stand up and walk out on me?#dungeons and dragons#dnd#richard starkeyrios
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the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart
#yesterday on the study they said they were dating two others and it was going well and i cant imagine fucking you but#you have great tits. they got upset at me not inviting them to a party. my research partner told me to write a 1000 word essay on why they#should come. they spoke about how much they wanted theiir ex and they wouldnt tell me much about who theyre dating bc#they thought i still had feelings for them which. god. theyre right but the assumption is so arrogant#the streams r rly beautiful im walking to a date and shes gorgeous and some of my friends know her but i look#exactly like ive slept on my friends floor for the past few days so . aaa anyway#god after that whole call i just felt so deflated like i felt over it but now its all . back. like seeing them being happy w smn else#inflicts active misery upon me which means ii think im becoming a worse person bc of them. i called my friend and i just . idk i walked home#i kept wanting to weep but . woah the sun is so pretty#there are petals and dandelion seeds floating in the air#med school students walking to their lectures#she does biochem btw. the person im meeting now#there are two butterflies dancing together. i cant make this shit up the past few days have looked like actual heaven#ive spent them being on survival mode and not even bc of my studies like ok focus on log functions while the person kn the screen#tells u abt how if her ex were to call shed fold immediately and the new girl is a singer and its going well and maybe ill tell you#more abt it in a few months. SO YOU KNOW IT HURTS ! SO WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUD MAKE OUT W ME AT THE CLUB WHY WOULD U FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO#ME WITHOUT CLOTHES ON ! WHY WOULD YOU CARESS YOUR OWN SKIN LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR !!!!#anyway im like . sane.#i just . felt like it was over#i realised i kept seeing ppl who i thought were more attractive etc etc than her bc i needed to prove to myself#that im attractive enough to be liked or that i can be liked at all and a part of me wanted to prove it to them too#its just a horrible mindset to have and yh not only do they not care but they also bring out the worst in me actively like . I DONT KNOW#BUT THEN WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT THE GOLDEN HOURS IN TEHRAN ARE PINK AND LILAC WHO GOES TO TECHNO RAVES AT THE BASE OF DAMAVAND#WHO CAN PIN YOU AGAINST A WALL LIKE THEM !!!#anyway#standing up it just feels so#exhausting#like this the most exhausted ive felt from all this ever
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Battle Cries by the Amazing Devil. Holy high heavens. What the heck. Humanity must have done something right if this masterpiece gets to exist.
The minute the song starts I am freaking sobbing. Its not a sad song, but it makes me explode with emotion. Yes everything will be okay! We're going to win! And all that laughing and loving and sighing and sobbing will all be worth it! You're gonna be that person 15 you would be proud to know! The triumph and pure happiness and raw excitement for whatever comes next that bleeds from that song? This song makes me excited to live. It makes me excited to love.
And the happy little chords? Madeleine's little laugh?? The overlapping lyrics??? Hrishskhroskshrilfljk find me on a floor in pieces after this song plays ever single freaking time but I love it with all my heart and soul
Battle Cries by the Amazing Devil. That's all. (Screams into a pillow)
#Walk away#I know that I’ve been through the wars#But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain#It's appalause#Like#Look at me as you say this. Don't look at your phone#Some fictions we took to mean fate. Believe me. I know.#And of course: After summers of fasting#I feel hunger at last#FOR THE PERSON FIFTEEN YEAR OLD ME WOULD BE PROUD TO HAVE KNOWN#HDKJJFKDKOSHSS#screaming. crying. throwing up.#“hide the breathing you hear. Don't mistake it for sighs. Don't you realize. They're just battle cries dear”#Ahhhhh#Ever had a song tell you that all these hiccups and obstacles are just you and your partner spitting out a tooth and standing back up.#To keep fighting for each other?#I'm okay I promise#Listen just go read the lyrics to battle cries because there are two many and every. Single. Freaking one. Is incredible#the amazing devil#madeleine hyland#joey batey#battle cries
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letter to his father - franz kafka // origin story, sink - desiree dallagiacomo // the autobiography of my mother - jamaica kincaid // caged: memoirs of a cage-fighting poet - cameron conaway
#you know you're in trouble when the painting of saturn devouring his son by francisco de goya almost makes it on here 🤡#like minds#murderous intent#like minds 2006#alex forbes#sad to admit i have been neglecting my (other) boy in my content lately#most of the time alex only really features in posts that are about him and nigel together#and if every there was a subject i'd be making a post about for alex it would ofc be about him and his daddy issues#i think it's because strangely enough nigel is easier to get a handle on in terms of character introspection#but that's probably down to the fact that regardless of whether you believe the narrative alex gives about who nigel was#we at least DO get a more solidly constructed idea of his character (yes even if it is the version of him put forth by alex#designed to paint himself as the victim)#alex on the other hand? gohd damn walking rorschach pattern ink blot test of a character#like *holding him up by the scruff of his neck* what does this character look like#you could have interpretations for this guy out the wazoo and it'll probably be wildly different from the person standing next to you#but one think i can say with certainty is this guy has a complicated relationship with his father#i don't think he hates him. but i do think there's a lot of resentment there too#that quote from ladybird where she asks her mother if she likes her and the mother says of course she loves her#and ladybird asks but do you like me? and the mother just responds that she wants whats best for her#to which ladybird says what if this is the best version of me#or something#that's them#to me at least#i suppose that's why alex was as drawn to nigel as he was#yes nigel was also spouting on about predetermined destinies foretold by fate and whatnot#but the fundamental difference is that nigel leaves all the power to achieve that in alex's hands#the only thing he ever really asks of him is for alex to embrace his inner most desires. no matter how dark or twisted they may be#alex's father is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could live up to expectations#nigel is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could forgo expectations of himself entirely#if that makes sense 🤡
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i am my father's son (enjoyer of irl sidequests)
#i didn't get to do the sidequest i almost got though 😔#i exited my apartment. theres a guy outside and i greet him bc i assumed he was a neighbour#and he greets me back and then hes like im sorry i hopped over the fence as a shortcut idk if that's fine#nd then continued and said he'll check if he dropped something#and i'm like yea ok sure!#bc i was going to lidl and i wanted to get going but i did just stand there for a bit in case the guy needed help or something#then he emerged from the fence area and he was like ''if you find something in there can you pick it up akd put out a note'' and i was like#yea ofc! i'll do that if i see anything#and then he was like this is a very nice area so i trust people will let me know if i did drop something#and i was like for sure#im not great at smalltalk but he was very polite so i tried my best#also he seemed like he wasnt having the best time#he might have been on something bc he was slurring his speech and drooling a lot and there was a certain look in his eyes but honestly that#none of my business#we said bye and i sat in my car and then he was like ''hey actually i live like a minute away super close but my bag is super heavy#can i get a ride there it's super close next to [redacted]''#and i moved my bag from the front seat and was like ''yea sure''#and then he stared at me for a bit and was like ''actually i dont want to bother you have a nice day bye'' and left with a wave#i was like you too and waved back#he didnt look like he had any trouble walking so i came to the conclusion that he's fine and then went to lidl#but honestly i am a bit disappointed he didnt want me to give him a ride after all bc he seemed like he would have interesting things to sa#he was super polite and talked a lot and despite me being a finn i dont always mind strangers talking to me#bc if i have nothing important to do it's like. might as well!#another chat outside my apartment ive had was this old lady and she knew a lot about the history of the area we live in#and it was very interesting and also like i said if im in no hurry to go anywhere i love listening to ppl yap about whatever#i hope both the fence hopping guy and the old lady are doing good#leevi talks
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disjointed fandom posting sorry but it just hit me that pwotr is like. the only rpg where a companion never once left my team
#you can guess who it was jgkdfg#but yeah i think it has to do with disapproval not being a thing in the usual sense#Daeran was there 24/7 but my team in general is very stable compared to how often i switch it up on bg3 or the dragon ages#it's like . Daeran Woljif Seelah Lann + free space that gets swapped around (but most often it's Arue)#like aside from the point when woljif isn't there for plot reasons - i think the only time seelah and lann werent there-#was at the trap for the Other?#and that was only for plot reasons again bc basically Elluin was 99% sure the situation would escalate/#he'd wind up murdering a bunch of inquisitors and. yk. don't generally want the paladin and the guy who can't stand your bf there for that#though maybe I'll change it in future because it would be spicy if they WERE there to see it... hmmm#anyway yeah it's very interesting to me how consistent it was comparatively#honorable mention to Wyll for being the only other companion from an rpg that I don't recall taking out of my team for 99% of the game#and Zevran for being there for about? 80%? Orion didn't take him into the deep roads for blight safety reasons#it's a LITTLE bit funny to think of Daeran as the one companion this happens to djkfg#similar to the Dorian Bit of the high class character forced to trudge along the dirt fdjgk but.. better#because he's deadass forced to do it dnfmgbdh#I have this one particular thought in my head about the abyss as well.#about being made to follow along the heart of Alushinyrra as essentially a glowing target?#and how that's somehow both the worst and best outcome of being in the abyss in the fist place?#i mean he says it himself retroactively about the battlebliss. there's a certain sense of safety that comes from sticking close to the kc#and that's also why Elluin Does keep him with- it's a risk either way but if we gotta bring an aasimar into the Abyss#and that aasimar just so happens to be someone he has a vested interest in keeping safe#he's much better off where he can see him at all times rather than at camp#gods something about this visual. standing right there as the person you're following walks in front of you-#provoking the 2d highest authority in the entire /realm/ - a realm that's already been hostile to you from the very second you stepped ther#yet somehow - against all sense or better judgement . you know it's going to be fine?#(yes in a sense Dae may be safer than anyone there on account of life insurance and the Other itself in a sense but still)#im shaking the bars of my enclosure etcetera#river rambles
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Via Miles’ insta a recap of his four acoustic gigs so far
Love how he actively approaches us fans and just generally seems to be having a blast not only performing but also talking with all of his fans. Also how he added the eyebrow slit and bracelets got added to his forearms, I don’t even wanna know how many turtle themed gifts he got 🫶🏽🥹 also imagine pulling up to footie training with boots signed by Miles Kane, also his ADHD leg jiggle before the last show 🐢💅🤴🏽
instagram
instagram
#his smile while performing#the way he’s sometimes so close and sometimes so far away from the mic#the way you can see every vein in his neck and forehead cause he’s giving it his everything 🫶🏽🫶🏽#how you can see Miles and the mirrorball during coup de Grace#everyone singing along to standing next to me 🥹#there was also a pic of Miles with an trnsmt 2018 Alex lookalike and I love how there are just a bunch of people out there who dress just#like Alex on purpose#like while waiting in line for the Munich concert a literal 2013 doppelgänger Alex walked past me; shoes black jeans unbuttoned button up#leather jacket and quiff even rings were a near perfect copy#miles kane#acoustic tour#London#Rough Trade East#18/07/2023#the sweaty polo#the sign: I traveled MILES to be here KANE I have the setlist (please) 🤣#love him for giving us these behind the scenes videos#adore how he was actually nervous before the first show how the fans would like it; considerate af king#Instagram
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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service
(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?
#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect#based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop#saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which#is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because#you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy#i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane#and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a#knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one#when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid#so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from#nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and#beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees#to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and#nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the#gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes#other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to#walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and#eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when#he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a#girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever#kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to#find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus#like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy#when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate#ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition#because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would#give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a#shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...
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:') Weather unfavourable for going out. So second government thing is going to have to wait.
#I'd rather not have the humidity trigger my Ménière's :/#Like it's 8AM and the apartment is boiing. checked the weather and no thank you :') Unsafe for me to travel.#If I had a way to get down there without having to use public transit or walking I would but since I rely heavily on those things- I don't#want to risk it. Learned my lesson a few years ago when the weather got super hot#I decided to run errands that day and as I was standing up on the busy bus I got a horrible vertigo attack and fell#smashed my head and scraped my arm pretty good on the bus- >_>; someone got off the bus with me to call an ambulance because I didn't have#anyone at that time to call. (Believe people were out of the country for a wedding) SO LESSON LEARNED! When its humid we do not leave the#confines of home#tw: chronic illness
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got an ad for a course that looks right up my alley (like, too-good-to-be-true levels of up my alley) and toyed with the idea of possibly signing up. asked my mom what she thinks, including abt the price and such, fully expecting her to shut me down and say it's too expensive or isn't a good direction to take, but no even before i started listing the actual cool stuff you get from it she already got so excited and told me to sign up and that it sounds perfect for me and such. so i guess we'll see
#and now when i open facebook it's the only ad I'm getting lol which is fine ig.#i looked up reviews of this school and everything was 5 stars talking about what a great place it is and a great guy is the one running it#i have the perfect background and base talents for it so i doubt i won't be able to get in or smth#but i am. worried. bc ik i can't handle being out and with people i don't know. my anxiety is too bad#and just bc i was able to do this sort of thing in the past doesn't mean I'll be able to now when I'm way worse abt it 😐#also from a technical standpoint i don't think I'd be able to like. walk from the nearest bus station and such#(not that I'd be able to take the bus either but you get me. putting the anxiety aside. talking physical stuff here)#ajskglj ig i expected my mom to say no bc i was HOPING she would so I'd have an excuse#but now the only thing standing in my way is me ig. nothing new but still very annoying
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when I was in 8th grade I had the same teacher for physics and geometry and he was like one of those dudes who always wanted to be one of the cool kids but never was so now he got to be the cool teacher that all the cool kids loved so he would like straight up bully the weird kids (me and my friends lol ✌️) and I thought it was wack as hell that a grown ass man was calling my friend, a 13 year old girl, stupid in front of the whole class for asking a fucking question so I constantly told him to back off and would get in full on screaming matches with the man about why he was not allowed to treat us like that (at one point I basically told him that if he ever made my friend cry again I would not rest until his teaching license was revoked lol) and it got to the point where he was like. actually for real beefing with me during class and in the hallways when he saw me and sometimes after school
anyway I just wanna say first of all fuck you Mr. Glasson, second of all what kind of like 28 y/o man has a fr beef with a fucking 13 year old. I literally wore a cloak to school. he was having beef with a child with pink hair, in a cloak. can you fucking imagine jsbdksbdndmdbnd
#one time i was early for class and i was in like the advanced program so most of us had the majority of our core clases together#so we were all talking abt the history honework due later today and i told my friend that i had made drawings for my answers#and showed her and my other friends and then my other classmates wanted to see so they were like passing it around#then like literally the second the bell rang‚ right as it was being handed back to me to be put away‚ he snatched it out of my fucking hand#and ripped part of it and crumpled it up and threw it in the fucking trash!#and fucking said 'class has started no other work is allowed'#which was bullshit because he used to help the jocky kids with their fucking other classes homework during class so fuck him#anyway i was really upset because i had worked really hard on it and i was afraid i would get a 0 on the assignment#then after class this kid that was one of the cool kids who had like never talked to me in any sort of kind way before#walked up to me and gave me the assignment back#he had dug it out of the trash (glasson actually made sure to put it under food that was in there :))#and hed wiped it off and smoothed it out and taped it back together#and he couldnt really meet my eyes but as he handed it to me he said 'im sorry. that was really messed up. you didnt deserve that' and left#it still stands out to me as an unbelievably kind gesture#shout out to horned (his last name)#oh and another time id finished literally all my class work and my homework and id helped my friend finish hers#and there was like 20 minutes of class left to i decided to practice my circular gallifreyan and the mother fucker did the exact same thing#bitch what did you want me to do? i completed my work and then did your fucking job for you and helped my friends#should i have stared at a wall????#FUCK you mr glasson i hope ur wife left u#also i stole his personal copy of his favorite book AND a textbook AND a graphing calculator#bc he told us once he had to pay for them out of his own pocket and they were really expensive ❤️#i also did manage to kick him in the shin once and stomp on his foot another time without getting in trouble#amd i always wondered why he didnt have me suspended#but now im p sure it was to cover his own ass because he had 2 classes of witnesses who'd seen him say nasty shit to me#as well as an entire hallway of teachers who once heard us fucking screaming at each other#that was the time i threatened to get his license revoked ❤️❤️
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Had a dream last night that two of my best friends came to stay with me and also Mabel was alive 🥹
#we were all tucked up in my bed with me in the middle#every time i opened my eyes one of them was like ‘omg do you need anything??’#she tried to bring me an energy drink and a glass of water. and then turned on a tv i don’t have & put on a movie with the sound down#i ‘woke up’ still in the dream and one of them was gone so i went downstairs to make the other one a hot chocolate#it was a ridiculously complicated hot chocolate. it was like the luxury hot chocolates i used to make at work#and i look round and i see mabel standing at the kitchen door patiently waiting for her lunch and i’m like ‘MABEL. BABYYY’#so i tried to let her out the patio door but the key wasn’t in the patio door and also the garden gate was open#i couldn’t find the key and i was like ‘mabel must need to pee. like. she must’#i ended up putting her on a leash (she was deaf & senile & had zero recall so couldn’t be unleashed even on the driveway)#and we were about to walk down the driveway into the garden so she could pee there and then i was going to close the gate & try to find the#patio door key. i woke up before i could do any of this or finish making the hot chocolate#i was happy but also sad that i woke up. i miss my little mabel. i miss her face#at some other point in the dream i remember seeing her half asleep in her basket and i was just like 🥺🥺🥺#i just wanted to stand there and look at her because i knew she wasn’t supposed to be there and i wanted to enjoy however long i had#with her. and that’s something i don’t think i always did when she was alive. and the guilt eats me up#she was so loved. i loved her so much. but i wish i’d given her more. i wish i’d been less annoyed by her quirks#like how she could never be let off a lead and how she used to stare at me for hours even though she didn’t want anything (had been fed#recently; wouldn’t go for a walk or play with me if i tried; wasn’t receptive to attention)#if she came back for the day and all she wanted to do was stare into my soul i would be so happy. i feel so awful for ever being annoyed#by her habits. she just wanted to know where i was 😭#personal
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