#wow there are so many typos in these tags I know how to type I swear lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monster-bait · 4 years

Note

Hi, do you have any tips for someone starting out who would like to make money off my own writing. I think I may use patreon, and self publish, I Mainly write Poto Leroux and would like to take request for original fiction, but I have a very small following and am put off sharing my work because I'm afraid not many people will see/read it. Sorry for the really long ask but if you have any tips and/or advise that would be greatly appreciated.

Oh wow, I don’t know where you guys got it into your heads that I’m any good at making money, lol!

Soooo...first off, I’m far from a publishing professional and I’ve only had my own Patreon up and running since September, so I’m a questionable authority at best.

I can only speak to my own experience and schedule, and time tends to be my most limited commodity, so I put a lot of thought into considering what I was and was not willing to commit to my Patrons each month, and for how many patrons I was willing/able to make that commitment. My patrons are guaranteed to receive one (1) exclusive story between 5-10k words a month, in addition to exclusive viewership of my multi-chapter work. Since that’s not an insignificant time commitment, in addition to commissions, side projects, and real life responsibilities, ensuring I had an audience first was a priority, because it’s *not* a time commitment I’m willing to make for 3 people. (Even though I’d be supremely grateful to @thelampades and two others regardless. 😜)

Since you’re specifically asking about monetizing, I’ll be blunt: if you don’t put the work in to build a readership, you’re not going to see much financial return. Now, that’s absolutely not an indictment of your work. That’s simply the nature of commerce and marketing: people won’t buy what they don’t know exists. This is especially true for what they’re willing to pay for, particularity when fanfic is free. If transformative fanwork is what you’re writing, then you already know the market is crowded.

I would ask yourself why you’re unwilling to share your work now, when you also want to make money from it. (I don’t mean give everything away for free, but presumably there’s going to be considerable overlap with the audience with whom you’re currently not sharing and the audience you eventually want to buy your work.)

If you search my #writing woes tag, I’ve answered questions previously on how to build and sustain a following, and that would be my advice, if it’s advice you’re seeking.

As far as self publishing goes...people self-publish for myriad reasons—because they have a pet passion that’s under-represented, because they’re trying to launch an authoring career, because they simply want to own a book on their shelf with their name on it, etc, so your experience will depend on your motivations. @jamiepage19 has self published an absolutely lovely bit of poto fiction, so she would be a good resource to whom you could reach out!

If you’re seeking to self-publish to make money, be prepared to spend money. Everything costs money. Covers, formatting, editing, advertising. But! Again, it depends on your expectations for “making money”.

If you’re interested in selling a dozen copies to family and friends, KDP is completely free. If you are bringing your own audience to the table, it might mitigate some of the advertising need. You can edit your own work, you can make your own cover from free-use stock images, and your investment is minimal.

If you’re looking to enter the realm of author as a career, it isn’t. The average spend for a self-published author is about $2k/book, including edits, cover, ISBN numbers if you’re selling anywhere other than KDP, and ad campaigns.

I will say, if it’s fanwork you'd be publishing, because its so niche you’d have an easier time finding readership than authors of broad categories like murder mysteries or fantasy romance (OMG, I’m going to sell 3 books, what is wrong with meeeeeeeeeeee 😭) *Ahem.* People who read niche fiction tend to browse the whole list of offerings, so there’s that. But again...with writers like, say, Michelle Rodriguez out there, a known quantity with multiple POTO works and followers, the main thing separating someone from buying your book is going to be the unknown factor.

Bottom line: you’ve got to put yourself out there. It’s never easy to share something you’ve created, because it’s personal and it hurts to have it be overlooked or ignored or criticized, but that’s the nature of the beast. *Especially* if you want to monetize it. People should keep their opinions to themselves and move along with fanfic; if it’s something they’ve paid for? They have the right to pick it apart and review it and that means growing a relatively thick skin as a creator.

If you want to write original fiction, start doing it. Create a Writeblr side-blog to share, if you want to move away from the fandom aspect. If you’re asking me how to start writing original work, you just need to take a breath and do it. I left the poto fandom and fanwork in general about 2 years ago and I’ve never looked back or felt the need to, so don’t feel like you’re locked in place. There IS life after fandom, I promise.

(I could honestly write a small book about planning and executing a launch, because that’s actually what I did in my day job and it really grinds my gears the way people can be so utterly clueless in assuming they can flip on a light switch and the whole world will know about it...there are entire departments dedicated to product launches in every retailer in the world, so if/when you get to that point, feel free to ask questions!)

My advice is to start sharing! Not sharing because you’re worried about your writing being overlooked and then jumping to monetizing seems like a sure-fire way to become discouraged over a lukewarm reception. (Patreon has its own pitfalls to be prepared for even without the question of ‘will people find me’ looming over it.) Build a readership, even if it’s a small one. Small and loyal is just as important as large and transient. Keep your readership. Work on making you writing the best it can be. And good luck! Please don’t be afraid to hit me up again...I’d love a progress report, and I always reblog work I’m tagged in on my Bookshelf page.

Check out my #writing woes tag for more typo-riddled writing advice-type posts on navigating Tumblr as a creator and building an engaged audience!

Join my Patreon

#writing woes #writing advice #monsterbait answers #publishing advice #writeblr #Anonymous

19 notes · View notes

shewritestheblues · 5 years

Text

You Know I Love You II

ONE

Erik Killmonger x Reader

Warnings: None

Part 2/2 - I may or may not do a part III to this. I have some other stuff I wanna write. But thanks so much for reading. excuse any typos. I wrote this while wine drunk. :)

Erik has kept his eyes on you. When you went to work, the gym, the grocery store. How do you think he knew when you made it back to your apartment with the flowers? When you found out about his ‘side piece,’ he felt… foolish. He knew he messed up. He knew you weren’t the type to sit around and cry about stuff. You gave yourself maybe an hour after he left that night to cry your eyes out and you pulled yourself together. You didn’t chase people. You spent a bulk of your existence doing that and that’s not who you were anymore. You would move on because that’s what life did. Time kept going regardless and you vowed to do the same.

You were sitting at your favorite table at your favorite coffee shop. You had your headphones in, completely zoned out trying to finish up your latest blog. A cup appeared on your table and when you looked up, the person standing there took your breath. She was taller in person. The high pony she sported really brought her round face. You could see your reflection in the gloss on her lips. She looked nervous. You sat silently, glaring up at her waiting for her to say something.

“Um,” she started, “I think you know who I am. Can we talk?”

You clench and unclench your jaw and she could see the conflict in your eyes. You could politely say no and go back to working, you could stand up and punch her in the throat or… you could hear what she has to say. Option one was out the door. It was either fight or listen. You chose to listen.

“Sure.” your eyes travel her form up and down. You don’t bother moving any of your things to make room for her. She was invading your space after all.

You stared at her blankley. She needed to start talking before you changed your mind and start dragging her through this shop. You clear your throat and she took a deep breath before beginning to speak.

“I’m Leah.”

You continue to stare at her with the most unbothered expression. She wipes her palms on her jeans and perks up like she’s been hit with a sudden burst of confidence.

“Me and Erik have been dating for a couple of months now. He didn’t tell me about you at first.” your face didn’t change as she continued on. “Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that you need to leave him alone now.”

You scoff at that. “Wow.” you mouthed. You look around you to make sure that she’s really talking to you.

“I’m being dead ass girl. He’s mine now and you need to move on.”

“Me? I need to move on?” you were in disbelief. Erik has been blowing your phone up and sending you gifts every single day since you put him out. Yet, his-- whatever she is, is here bothering you. Before you could continue, Leah’s eyes move passed you at something behind you. You feel a large presence glooming over you and when you look up, Erik is standing just inches away from you with his dark eyes glaring at Leah. Leah smirks at him. His eyebrows connect with a scowl.

“The fuck are you doing here?” he spat at her.

She opens her mouth to speak but you beat her to it. “She was telling me how happy y’all are and that I need to move on and leave her man alone.” you end your word with a smile.

Leah didn’t add or deny anything that you said. She seemed content with your reply.

“I’m not your man. I never fucking was.” he grabbed her arm, bringing her to her feet. “You need to go.”

You watched confused. At this point you were wondering how in the hell did either of them know where you were. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. Erik had been watching you. Leah had been watching him, watch you.

“I’m not leaving, Erik.” Leah snatched her arm away and folded her arms over her chest. “You need to end this now.”

“End what?”

“You and her.” she pointed between the two of you.

“I’m not ending shit with her. You need to get that through your thick ass skull. I been told you I was done with you. The fuck you keep crawling back for?” Erik was now hovering over Leah’s slim body, snarling at her.

Her eyes began to water. She tried to blink it away but she was shaking. “What about me, Erik? You think you can just fuck me and that’s it?” she was yelling now and causing attention to be casted onto the three of you. Erik was pissed. Her eyes grew big, sensing the danger she was in if she didn’t back down. You swiftly began packing up your things.

“That shit was one time!” he barked. “And I shouldn’t have done that. You crazy bitch!”

You stormed passed the yelling duo. You had so many feelings rushing through you right now and you just wanted to run. You had walked to the coffee shop since it was only a few blocks from your apartment so you began power walking back home. Tears were filling the brim of your eyes as you walked.

“Y/N!” Erik calls out to you. He jogs to catch up to you. “Baby, can you please hear me out?”

“What Erik! What is it that you have to say?” You’ve had enough. You just wanted this to be over already. Your mind was already made up. You were sick of Erik’s bullshit.

“Y/N… I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? That’s all you have to say?”

Erik pulled you to the side, out of the way of passing people on the street. “Of course not. You know I love you, Y/N. I just--”

“Spit it out, Erik.” a lone tear had began to fall and Erik rubbed it away with his thumb. You didn’t even have the energy to move away.

“I’ve only been in love once before you. You know that. That didn’t end well and I guess--”

“Really Erik? So I’m supposed to suffer because that bitch had a baby on you? That’s not my fault. I’ve been nothing but good to you. I’ve loved you. I helped you heal.” You let the tears fall as you let out a deep, shaky breath. “I’m supposed to be your wife, E.” That last part came out low. The pain in your voice traveled through Erik’s entire body. His chest became tight seeing you hurt this way.

“It was one time.” his large hands cup your cheeks. He was pleading with you now.

“One time doesn’t make someone believe that y’all are together. She clearly was keeping tabs on you to find me.”

“I swear, it was one time. I know this isn’t an excuse but this whole wedding planning shit was getting heavy. Seeing it all made it real and I got scared. I didn’t want to get all the way there and then my heart gets broken again.”

“Do you really think I would ever do anything to hurt you?”

“I know you wouldn’t. I was being stupid and letting people get in my head.”

You shake your head. You wipe your face of your tears with the sleeves of your hoodie. You were done crying. He doesn’t get anymore. “No,” you look him in the eye. “I’ve been nothing but good to you. I was actually thinking about forgiving you. But this bitch really had the balls to approach me. I don’t need that in my life Erik. I need to know that the man I’m going to marry is honest with me. That he won’t be out here just fucking around on me and disturbing my peace.. OUR PEACE.” Erik tried to get a word in but you wouldn’t allow him. “How do I know this bitch won’t quit? How do I know that when another major event happen for us, you won’t get scared and pull some shit like this again? Huh?”

“It won’t!” his voice was laced with the need to get through to you.

“Yeah, it won’t.” You dug into the front pocket of your purse and pulled out your engagement ring. You placed it in his palm and you could’ve sworn you heard his heart break. Erik’s breathing was heavy and his palm was hot. “I did everything right and it still wasn’t enough for you, Erik. I love you. I swear I do, but I don’t deserve this.”

You made your way back onto the sidewalk to continue your journey home. Erik called out to you. The hurt in his voice almost made you turn back to him… almost. But you had promised to never be that person again. You wouldn’t put someone else’s hurt before your own. No one was worth your sanity. Not even your husband to be. Like you did two weeks ago, you could give yourself time to feel this but you would bounce back. You always did.

Tags: @chaneajoyyy @raysunshine78 @alexundefined @elaindeereads @tgigoldie @shaekingshitup @soufcakmistress @ohliyaxoxo @steampunkprincess147 @soulfxll @dangerous-history @abeautifulmindexposed @itsjustshanie @keiva1000 @rbhp

#erik killmonger x reader #killmonger fic #shaebewriting

290 notes · View notes

louloubabys1992 · 4 years

Text

Ask for writers

Tagged by @theisolatedlily thank u babe xoxo

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted:

I got so into the 1D fandom that I opened a tumblr account and found loads of fics about Harry and Louis. I got hooked. I go way back as a fan. am one of those who started reading fics from tumblr accounts and livejournals. I know a lot still read from those until now, even me, until ao3 became the basis of fics. I read so many fics that i wanted to write my own as well. my first ever fic, officially, was an apocalypse/zombie au called Nothing Can Come Between You and I. I say officially because I posted a couple of fics before this one but they were edited fics from a writer who took down his/her fics for reasons I don’t wanna get into. I asked permission to post them and edit them. That’s when I started joining up as a beta as well :D

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

I typically write in Louis’ narrative but I don’t usually base it on any perceptions I have of him, even if it’s canon. most of my fics are inspired by circumstances I see around me in my day to day life or by events that one can relate to because they do happen.

3. where do you often find inspiration?

I read a lot of fics as I’ve mentioned before and each and every one of them has left an impact on me that made me the fic writer I am today. Whenever I lack inspiration, I just open my bookmarks on ao3 and read. And then, a bulb lights up and voila, inspiration hits

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

helped a lot! i wrote more during quarantine than I do now even though am somewhat working from home. but when corona was at its peak back in March, everything was on hold and I turned to writing.

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

silence. Am sadly not one of those people who could write in a corner in a cafe even though I wish I could do something like that.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

word vomit. not into that.

7. describe your ideal writing setup:

after midnight, laptop on a cushion on my lap, neck pillow for my neck, my bed, and a quiet house where everyone is already sleeping and my mind is brimming, racing faster than my fingers could type hahahaah

8. favorite time of day to write?:

after midnight. it mostly has to do with the fact that I am not available during the day but even before when I wasn’t working, i would find myself procrastinating all day or totally lacking inspiration and then come night time, and my mind comes alive hahahaha

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

Canon fics

10. do you struggle with writer’s block?

I mean, who doesn’t, right?

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

easiest is after I’ve day-dreamed the scene because when I day dream, its detailed to the tee, down to the words and the dialogue but the most difficult is when I postpone an idea I had in my head. If I don’t write it down instantly, it never turns out the same and that’s quite frustrating

12. how do you come up with original characters? (

I do insert a lot of original characters in my fics and they are sometimes inspired my real people but only in terms of appearance not by character or name. so, if am describing an original character in any of my fics, know that he exists but his character is not the same in real life hahahaha

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word? f

wow, this is random. um. fav would be scars and least would be veggies

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

I don’t think it was something I was proud of at first but a lot of people who comment on my fics say that they like my pacing and the dialogues. so maybe that? I would say I think I need to work more on my originality. sometimes, i find myself drifting to a fic I’ve just read, especially if its the same trope and am like, wow, that’s not mine at all.

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

definitely my first abo fic Hang there like fruit, my soul/Till the tree die. I love that au and I’ve always wanted to put my own tiny twist in it. am really proud of how it came about and am massively humbled by the comments and support it received :D

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

arial, font 18 and sometimes bigger because I don’t have good eyesight

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?:

names, because sometimes the names I choose are apprarently just not cool with microsoft word for some reason....sighs

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, but its not intentional, it just happens

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?Angst because that’s just me hahahaaha. the most difficult? hmm, emotional love confessions maybe or the transition from friends to lovers. yeah.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

the passion behind it maybe?

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

best advice is to sleep on it because I do come up with scenes for my fics when I am about to sleep ahahahah. the worse one I got came from someone who obviously doesn’t know a thing about writing. he said, ‘’just don’t write it and do something else.’’ I mean, really?

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

nope, not happening.

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?:

most of the time in order.

24. how do you handle criticism?

quite well I think.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

Go for it. Writing is not a silly hobby. if it’s really something you wanna do, even if its just for fun or to pass the time or to make new friends. go for it, There are so many fics in this fandom that until this day, are still ingrained in my mind because they were so touching and moving to me. you never know what your words could do for someone or how much your words could make a person’s day a better day

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

the comments posted on my fics in ao3 always make me happy. I feel like its the best to find out if my work is worth someone’s time, you know? even though I do write for myself most of the time, the validation is nice sometimes :D

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

wow, all of them?

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

hmm, I mean people could ask what they want so am cool with anything. am not picky. I get asked about plot lines or what would happen next when it comes to cliffhangers and I do my best to answer them without revealing too much :D

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

I definitely made new friends through it and it’s been great :D

30. why do you write?

it’s my favourite thing in my entire life. It’s the one thing that no one in my life knows about, as in the people that I work with, my friends, even my family, none of them have ever read anything I’ve ever written and am fine with it. I feel like writing is purely for me and it’s something I’d like to keep as a part of me you know?

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote:

Harry smiles despite himself. Three years together, since he was nineteen, and it shouldn’t be a surprise that Louis knows him so well, can tell by the sound of his voice if he’s okay or not, nervous or not, happy or not.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:

the one am writing for the harry/men fic fest

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of:

‘’You’re being really quiet and I don’t like it,’’ Louis points out.

‘’Just a bit tired,’’

‘’Stay here then,’’ Louis pats the bed. ‘’Sleep next to me,’’

‘’Are you sure? I don’t want to mess with anything by accident or…’’

‘’Harry?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’I won’t get a wink’s worth of sleep if you’re even an inch away from me,’’ he says firmly. ‘’And I’ll go on a limb here and say neither will you.’’

‘’But…’’

‘’No buts, I’m serious.’’ Louis cups his cheek, his blue eyes big and beautiful, like an entire fucking galaxy. ‘’I missed you something terrible these past few days,’’

‘’Lou…’’

‘’Be here with me, Haz. Please?’’

Harry hums before he pushes himself forward. He cannot stop it, cannot keep himself from gravitating towards Louis, taking what he wants, what he needs to make it through the night. He cups Louis’ face and kisses him but even then it’s not enough and he skates one arm around Louis’ small shoulders and tugs him closer, careful not to jostle Louis too much and kisses him like Louis’ a mermaid and he needs his air or else he’ll drown.

It eases an ache in him he didn’t know was trying to get his attention the moment he entered the room, something deep and visceral, calming down with the way Louis’ molds his lips against his, with the shape of his mouth fitting with his own, with the way his body is trying to align with his, like a constellation, each star coming together to mean something greater than they can ever grasp, something more infinite and vast.

‘’I love you,’’ Louis whispers into his lips.

‘’I’m never letting you go,’’ Harry says before he reaches for another kiss. ‘’Love of my life, fucking best thing to ever happen to me, you know that?’’

‘’My rock,’’ Louis kisses him back. ‘’My fortress,’’ and kisses him again, ‘’my strength,’’ and again and again. ‘’I love you so much. Would be dead without you,’’

‘’Don’t say that,’’

‘’It’s true,’’ Louis gasps as Harry devours his mouth, trying to stop him from saying another word. ‘’I would’ve crawled out that room right to your feet, Haz. I would’ve…’’

‘’Shh, just me kiss, babe. Just kiss me,’’ Harry pleads.

And so they do.

4a; line from my fics that I am most proud of:

hard to choose really

5a. link the last fic you read:

bang bang (my baby shot me down) by thepolourryexpress

6a. link the last work you published:

Ellen's haunted house by louloubaby92

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable):

https://archiveofourown.org/users/louloubaby92/works

8a. someone that inspires you

Louis Tomlinson

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year:

bruise you like a peach by falsegoodnight

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

@falsegoodnight @twopoppies @mediawhorefics

#this was nice

11 notes · View notes

where-all-the-time-went · 4 years

Text

gah, screw it

[ID: A tumblr post from me, reading, “now is probably the time to write my 500-word essay on the politics of revolution of the daleks that gets 30 notes and is never seen again, which i return to in a month to find a lot of typos, otherwise no one will see it, isn’t it,,, “but i haven’t seen jack robertson’s first episode,,,”. End ID.] answer: yes, it is. but im gonna take a while to write this and look up a summary of arachnids in the uk (which i dont wanna watch because i heard its Not Good and you dont have to watch every episode of doctor who to be a fan, ok?) i sometimes talk about politics on tumblr, but rarely do i make political posts--mainly because, as my sidebar bio says, i’m a teenager. i don’t really have a degree in politics, and as much as i have been trying to read up on political stuff, its kinda hard when i dont have access to a college professor to guide me along. still, some things about this episode stood out to me, especially because it’s stuff i’ve noticed in a lot of media. i’m not even sure where i stand politically, but i absolutely love media commentary, and i have so many thoughts i feel like i never get to put out there when im watching movies and tv. obviously, spoilers under the cut (and it probably won’t actually be 500 words. probably.) i’m also gonna assume you’ve seen this episode, because i don’t wanna recap it. if you haven’t, go watch it! tbh, it’s well worth it (my favorite chibs era episode, just ahead of the haunting of villa diodati and demons of the punjab)

Now, um, obviously this episode is political. It’s the in-your-face without down-your-throat type of political we know and love. Still, media can be a direct allegory that wouldn’t bother the average viewer while still having politics that are good, bad, or somewhere in the middle (I mean this extremely subjectively). First, I’d like to address the elephant in the room:

While a Doctor Who festive special would normally film in the summer, this time the episode was filmed well ahead in winter 2019, over a year before it was due to be broadcast in a bid to include it within filming for series 12 (which aired from January to March) and give cast a longer break.

- The Radio Times

I’ve noticed some people pointing out that the episode references the protests that happened this summer. Honestly, I’d love it if that was the intention behind the episode, because then maybe Chris Chibnall’s team really does have a TARDIS, and we can all just time travel out of this mess.

[ID: An image from “Revolution of the Daleks.” A very sleek Dalek stands in front of police who have riot shields. The air is foggy, possibly gaseous. End ID.] However, the protests from this summer and the episode itself do not exist inside a bubble. Police brutality did not come into existence this summer, and it did not end with the autumn equinox. The episode, while featuring a small-scale protest that was eerily reminiscent of the large BLM protests this year, chooses to focus instead on one of the roots of the issue: somehow, capitalism.

I can’t say how purposeful the anti-capitalist messaging in the episode was. Obviously, Jack Robertson is meant to be an American capitalist caricature. Not to mention, Doctor Who is a family-friendly show: you can’t get too overt with what can be considered “radical” coding. Nonetheless, the episode tackles the connection between policing and money, and thus inherently comments on capitalism.

The Dalek itself only exists to support the police force because Prime Minister Patterson knows that the idea of security will appeal to her constituency. Simultaneously, it could not exist if Robertson didn’t know just how profitable it would be. As they preach security, they create chaos. More importantly, the security they preach is one that bases itself on profit--similar to the weapons of the policeforce, and the prison industrial complex. As a result, the “security” inevitably fails.

[ID: Prime Minister Patterson, in a red coat, listens to Jack Robertson and Leo, in dark neutral-toned clothes both. They stand in front of a brick wall as they discuss the new Dalek plans. End ID.] Unfortunately, while the show presents a clear stance against money in policing, there is never any direct call to action. The political allegory may be straightforward and obvious, but the solution at the end is just to end the Daleks, and watch as Robertson announces his run for President (which, by the way, is very reminiscent of Trump, who does exist in-universe, so that’s weird). Regardless of all that, why am I even talking about this? Well, on the one hand, I love talking about these sorts of things. On the other hand, this post has started to sound like nothing but a rant with some pictures. Earlier, I said that this was something I noticed in a lot of media. For instance, I think of “The Boys,” with its obvious anti-capitalist and anti-military industrial complex messaging. At the same time, the show offers no solutions. Both are afraid of the obvious solution to capitalism: replacing it. To be clear, I say this as a person who is unsure about capitalism. I don’t know where I stand. Like I said, I’m a teenager. However, these shows can’t seem to make a decision either, when they're made by big companies with big budgets and professional adults. Politics in popular media tends to fit perfectly with the popular politics of the time, given that media must do so in order to make profit. Hence, similar to the media we consume, so many individuals seem to recognize that there’s something off with the hand money has in politics, and war, and security, yet no one seems to look for solutions. Personally, I love talking about politics in the media, and analyzing media in general, because it’s the best way for me to communicate my internal thoughts. Meanwhile, I don’t even know my own internal thoughts. This post’s very existence is ironic. I had said in a very awful post that I wanted to write this when the tag was still trending, because I, in part, want someone else to do the thinking for me. I want people to see this and go, “well, okay, here’s where you’re wrong,” or, “here’s what we do about it.” Do I then have a responsibility to know what I’m talking about? Is the discourse all that matters? Does the media as a whole have to propel revolutionary ideas to get them into the social conscience, or can it just open up discussion? There is, of course, irony in shows that could only exist in a capitalist world degrading aspects of that system. But no one, not even me, is exempt from the fact that these ideas do not exist in a bubble. The show’s protests look eerily familiar because, as this summer has proven, those protests are profitable (see literally every ad from companies that own sweatshops talking about how much they care about races they don’t represent in their board of directors). At the same time, I exist in that capitalist world, and my opinions have been formed via the capitalist media I was raised with. tl;dr: i know literally nothing. im sure of literally nothing. help, someone tell me about the politics of doctor who. wow, this was a really sad tl;dr, i normally make a shitty joke here. um, uh, EXTERMINATE

#doctor who #revolution of the daleks #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #politics #i put so much effort into this yet im not super proud of it #im probably gonna edit it later #which means im probably not gonna edit it and will just have to live with whatever comes of it #goddamn tho i can't believe i got here from talking about a businessman in a cheesy kids show #no one get mad at me for calling who a kids show #i know its not #ok i need to stop with the tags now #i'm adding everyone's names i want people to see this post i worked so HARD #yasmin khan #yaz khan #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien

8 notes · View notes

marvel-ousnesss · 5 years

Text

The pirate and the witch (part two)

Word count: 2568 Pairing: Harry Hook x daughter of Narissa!reader

Summary: Y/N, an orphan vk who was taken to Auradon at a young age, returns to her old home by request of the crown prince. However, things tend to go south at the Isle of the Lost.

Warning: Mild cursing

A:/N: Okay people, here's the second part! I'm really enjoying writing this and already working on part three. Feel free to ask if you wanna be tagged and to point out any mistakes or typos that you see. Enjoy 😬

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE DISNEY DESCENDANTS CHARACTERS NOR THE SANDERSON SISTERS. All credit goes to the creators, writers, and producers. Same with the HP charms, credit goes to J.K Rowling.

Part one Mobile masterlist Part three Part four

— So, how was it? — Asks Ben, who's currently sitting on the couch of his and Chad’s dorm, with the brightest grin plastered on his sweaty face. His tourney gear discarded on the floor next to him, I can tell he took it out in a rush right before he called me.

I chuckle at his excitement; kind of resembles a golden retriever puppy. Sitting cross-legged on the simple bed, I stare at the screen of a tablet with the royal crest of Maldonia on its green case. Just parted ways with Harry and, even if it’s hardly four pm, I’m utterly exhausted; but Ben won’t stop calling me until I tell him everything.

— Where to start, where to start,— I pretend to think, scratching my chin with my index finger and frowning my brows. — Being chased by bandits, being kidnapped by wicked witches, who, by the way, may have found a way to practice magic, or having a VIP ticket for Uma’s pirate ship?

— That does sound like quite an adventure, but let’s cover the basics first. How’s the place?

I sigh, setting jokes aside. — Miserable, Ben, whatever you discussed with your father will seem like a children’s tale.

—Something needs to be done about it — he states, — but I’m gonna need your help in convincing my father.

—I’m sure it will be fine, he’s all about second chances, right?

I don’t even know if I completely believe what I’m telling Ben. I remember standing outside of the Royal Courtroom, fidgeting, uncertain of what those who I thought were meant to be good and forgiving would decide for me. The funny thing is that Auradon’s oh so great and just king was the most reluctant to let me be part of his kingdom, claiming that I had an intrinsically wicked nature.

However, I manage to spit my words between gritted teeth— See? You’ll do great.

— I really hope so.

— Look, for now, just sit tight and behold my wonderful narrative skills. We’ll plan our scheme later, — I wink.

— Okay, go on.

So, I tell him everything, no detail spared. Even if it is supposed to be a prison island, it is atrocious to have people living in such conditions. From the poorly constructed infrastructure to the lack of resources that has resulted in people fighting like animals over things such as a rotten apple or half a loaf of bread.

— I’m glad you saw it all first hand, and with all of this, I really believe that we can convince my father to do something about it.

— What I’m most worried about is the embargo that he placed, many goblins are out of jobs because of it, and the malnutrition and sickness here have drastically raised since.— I frown my brows.

— We’ll need statistics to show that, and maybe he’ll abolish the limitations on resources and re-establish the goblins’ jobs.

— Keep talking Mr. crown prince, I only yawn when I’m utterly fascinated.— I roll my eyes and smile when I hear the familiar voice of my second favorite prince.

— Manners, Charming, the grownups are talking,— I fake scold as Chad pops on the screen behind Ben.

— Wow Y/N! Really looking like the evil witch you are— he snarls.

I don’t give it any thought ‘cause a) it’s Chad who’s talking and b) I am dressed in a purple leather jacket and a navy blue top, not to mention my smokey eye makeup. So, I brush him off.

— I miss you too, Chaddy. But, I'd love you to shut up before I go and make you.

—I guess it is true, ‘once a villain, always a villain’.

— Guess it is true, Prince Chad charming, of Cinderellasburg, is even more delicate than his mother’s set of porcelain.

— Seriously, though, don’t let the Isle get to you too much.

— Are you, gods forbid, worried about me?

— Nah, just don’t want real VKs living among us, do we? — when he says this, he playfully punches Ben on his shoulder.

…

—And so, I ended up flirting with none other than Harry Hook in the flesh.

When I utter the word flirting, Chad’s nose scrunch makes both me and Ben burst into laughter.

—Yes, Chad, we flirted, and, dare I say, I enjoyed it. Anyway, after we escaped the cage, we walked together and he ended up inviting me to ‘keep the heid’ back at Uma’s ship,

— I think that may be good for getting to know them, — suggests the crown prince. — You know, figuring out which of them are in worst scenarios.

— Sorry to break it to you, Ben, but it wouldn’t be safe for Y/N to go hang with a bunch of pirates.

Even if our relationship is playful and full of bickering, Chad can get super protective sometimes. It is something that I appreciate, really, but when he smells possible danger, he tends to get worse than my mom.

— I did decline his offer but, seeing that not going would mean agreeing with dearest Chad, — I shrug — I’m gonna go. Right now.

Much to Chad’s dismay, we say a brief goodbye.

— Be careful,

— Don’t let them infect you!

I chuckle at them and hang up. Then, I put the tablet under the bed, grab my cloak, and head out the door.

…

Now closer to the docks, my ears are flooded with the stomping of dancing feet and the cheers of shanties, accompanied by what sounds like a piano and guitar duo. I arrive and cannot help but smile at the sight. Before my eyes, I find some of the most dangerous and vile people of the Isle dancing and singing around a fire that’s set on a barrel in the middle of the ship.

I approach the crowd and, when I catch the first mate’s eye, he stops playing and laughs.

— I knew you’d come. Couldn’t resist m’charms.

I smirk, — just came for a good time, Hook. Don’t you ruin it already.

— Aren’t you gonna introduce me to your new toy? — asks the sea witch, emerging from the crew of pirates, who are now quizzically looking at our interaction.

— I’m Y/N.

— Ooh, the witch, — she inquires. — Harry hasn’t shut up about your little encounter earlier today.

— Hasn’t he? — I quirk a brow at him but don’t even get him to blush.

— Gonzo, — intervenes Harry. — Take over would ya? I’ve business.

The music continues to play and the pirates continue to sing and dance. A blond guy, Gil, I believe, offers me a pint of beer, but I politely refuse. He doesn’t seem to mind, as he drowns the whole thing in one gulp and I quietly chuckle. I proceed to take off my cloak and leave it in the rack, embracing the cold wind. Then, I approach Harry.

— So, are you gonna teach me how to dance this thing, or did you invite me to stand in the corner of the deck all night?

— Are you trying to flirt with me, lassie? — he asks.

— Do I look like someone who’s interested in you? — He’s about to respond but I cut him off, — you know what? Don’t answer.

I grab his hands and pull him to the designated dance floor with me. I’m genuinely curious about this type of music, back home we don’t have anything similar. Next thing I know, he hooks his arm through mine and we’re jumping, spinning and cheering around the dance floor, avoiding a collision with the rest of the crew members.

After a few songs, I suggest we take a break and grab something to drink, so we make our way to the barrel located at the end of the deck.

— Ain’t gaunnie tell me that was yer first time dancing shanties, ‘cause I ain’t taking mince.

He speaks as he fills the first glass with beer and hands it to me, then he scratches the back of his neck with one hand and places the other on his belt buckle.

— Well, believe it or not, it was — I defend myself, fixing my simple hairdo.

— then let me tell ya, yer a natural.

— thanks, — I smile.

He looks at me with curiosity.

— err... I mean, of course I am.

After he fills his own glass, we sit on the front edge of the Lost Revenge’s plank and let our feet hang above the water.

— Why haven’t I seen you 'round, — he takes a gulp of his drink.

I try to do the same but encounter an unpleasant sensation, so I take a small sip and place my glass on the floor, next to me. — I already told you, lone wolf.

—Bullshit. I know the lone wolves, —he claims — easy prey for the crew. Besides, ain’t seen you at school either.

— I don’t go too Serpent prep.

—Oh… you attend the Witch school?

— Not exactly, — I release a breath, not wanting to get further into the topic — but, let’s just say I don’t like having attention on me. How bout you, Mr. first mate, aside from the badass handsome pirate act?

Truly, not to my surprise, he avoids my twist to the conversation. —Ooh, so ya think I’m badass and handsome too…

— Don’t let it get to your head, sailor, no one likes a cocky pirate. — My words come together with a playful side push.

— Aww lass, yer just lying to me in me face, — he whines, — you seem to drool over this cocky, badass, handsome pirate.

A bit frustrated, I exclaim, — Such a dickhead!!! How do they put up with you?

Then, our eyes land on the figure who had just stopped behind me.

— We just do this… — Uma tries to push her first mate off the ship, but he holds onto the railing.

— Funny, captain, — grumbles my date (if one could call it like that) — ya know the crew’s all at my feet.

Uma rolls her eyes, — Yeah, right. The only one ‘at your feet’ is little hellcat here.

At this, he scoots closer and smirks, attempting to place an arm around me, but I slip away. — Don’t get your hopes up, Pirate, haven’t hooked me yet.

Once again, the captain’s voice captivates our attention. — Hey Harry, why don’t you bring me and your new conquest some more beer?

I glance at my half-full glass, — I’m good.

— Nonsense, I insist.— Uma’s gritted teeth hint that she’s not asking out of politeness. In fact, she’s not asking at all.

— Aye aye captain.

As soon as we are left alone, Uma takes the spot that was previously occupied by her first mate, — Don’t know you, so don't trust you. Straight to the point, why would a random wannabe witch like you pop out from nowhere and come to my ship?

My answer is simple and blunt, — If you haven’t noticed, I’m here with Hook.

—That’s not what I’m asking so don’t play dumb with me —, she does her best to stay calm. — Just wondering… haven’t seen you around and, when I do, you have the biggest flirt of the Isle suddenly interested in you, there’s gotta be more to your tale; power, dominance, what d’you want?

My feet swing as I think of a quick response. — Nothing, really. As for Harry, guess I’m that irresistible.

Uma chuckles at my words, but her smile disappears faster than it came.

—Take this as a warning, don’t you dare try anything stupid. Have that in mind and you’re welcome whenever you want. — she mocks, with an overly excited grin. — Any toy of Harry is a friend of mine.

Before I can reply, the shanties stop playing and low, menacing growls are emitted by Bonny and Jonas. We turn around and notice that the two female members of the squad that rules the Isle are now on deck with us.

Mal glides into view, with leather boots hitting the wooden floor. — Awww shrimpy… you threw a party? It kind of hurts that you didn’t invite us.

Uma huffs before standing up and then faces Mal with a demeanor that gives me the creeps. Both Harry and Gil stand at her sides, with a hand on their swords; everyone else takes no time in mimicking their stance. As for me, I stand in the middle of the crowd and begin channeling my powers, just in case.

—You know snooty little witch, you’re sounding just like your mother; a cheaper and less intimidating copy, though.

She did kind of paraphrase Maleficent.

Raging, Mal growls and her eyes emit a bright green glow.

— See? My point exactly.

Now, with more tension in the scene, Harry steps in. — And what a cute little lap dog, — he laughs, approaching Evie. When he gets to her, he deadpans — sit.

The evil queen's daughter refuses to let herself be affected, so she limits her reaction to an eye roll. — Charming, Harry.

— Okay, as much as we’d love to stay and chat, we have an Isle to run. Not that you’d understand, anyway.

On cue, they both laugh and walk away.

— Now, boys.— Mal’s voice is heard through the length of The Lost Revenge, and Jay and Carlos, who must have managed to sneak inside while the crew focused on the girls, kick and spill casks full of water and rotten shrimps all over the ship.

However, their smirks turn into frowns when Carlos’ barrel rolls over and knocks the bonfire down, making the flames take grasp of the wooden floor.

Both intruders and some crew members jump to the water as the fire grows, but I approach it and firmly say ‘aquamenty’. The water shot from my hands extinguishes the fire.

Pirates gasp and Uma approaches me with an expression of simultaneous anger, relieve and, dare I say, gratefulness. — Not such a wannabe, after all.

Harry stands next to her, smirking at me, yet his expression changes when his eyes dart to the damaged deck.

—Still, — he sighs, — the damage is pretty bad. Can you do something about it, doll?

I hesitate — I mean, I could try. But I haven’t perfected that spell yet.

I place a hand over the burnt wood of the deck and whisper — reparo.

Immediately, the floor of the deck restores itself and the broken barrel that previously contained the blaze stands back up. Satisfied, Uma goes to check on her crew.

Mental note: ask about the gang war.

Harry, however, gets a step closer to me and helps me up,— you’d be useful ‘round here, I could get Uma to let you in.

— As captivating as that sounds, I'm not really a team player.

I turn around but, before I can part, he captures my wrist, —yer breaking me heart, dollface.

— We already had this conversation, handsome, you don’t have one of those.

Tags: @aspitefullittlebeing @treestarrrrrrrr

165 notes · View notes

lewdladylily · 4 years

Text

So today was a bit of a tough day, I hurt my ankle (not a sprain, just a bad twisted ankle) and I had a headache. Raven helped me relax by putting me down in a nice, gentle, and very deep trance.

I’ve mentioned this before, but it is always worth reiterating. Nothing is as relaxing as a gentle, guided trance. I’ve been on pain killers so powerful I could barely hold onto consciousness, I’ve used proscription drugs specifically designed to cut off my panic attacks and make me relax, and none of it compares to a proper, deep trance guided by my Owner. As an interesting side note, the deep trance had a strong effect of dulling my pain. My ankle and head still hurt, but down in the trance it was much less intense. And I know it was the hypnosis that did it because when she pulled me out (I needed to take care of something) the pain came back, though not as intense because I had gotten some good rest.

I was so deep down that it was hard to move my arms and hands to type. Normally when I am in trance I type on my phone, which means I just need to move my thumb. Much easier than mustering up the will to move an entire arm and accurately type. My spelling was atrocious, I had so many typos. The phone auto corrects so usually I get it mostly right with only the occasional wrong word, but typing I could hardly make it a sentence without a typo, or even several. Sometimes I ended up typing just nonsense and had to retype a single word several times to get it into a recognizable state. I was *really* deep.

Eventually she used good girls imagine to give me two of her fingers to suck on, it was heaven. It felt so good, gently sucking her fingers, almost sucking on reflex alone, her filling my mouth with cum using my drink command.

I was getting horny, so I asked if I could touch myself. She allowed it on the condition that I told her how I was doing it, which I was more than eager to share. I couldn’t imagine anything better in that moment than owner being turned on by me touching myself. I described how I was gently teasing my cock with my fingers and playing with my breast and nipples. Felt goood. I started getting wet and asked if I could taste it, which Mistress allowed, and then allowed me to taste more when I asked.

She asked how I felt, and I told her I felt very good and relaxed and I told her I wanted to serve her. She asked how I was feeling and the condition I was in (she already knew I was injured, but I reported exactly how I was feeling in the moment.) so she could tell if I was up for it, which I very much appreciate. I am not really capable of sound judgement when I am down that far in a trance, I honestly feel a bit bad about that sometimes? Bad is the wrong word. More like, I wonder if I can be a bit of a handful when I am like that, all raw desires and need and she has to keep me in check, ask questions to make sure I am ok, figure out what is safe to do based on my responses. I guess if she minded she would tell me.

She decided that the way I could best serve her in my mentally and physically impaired condition was to praise her! Raven has a big praise kink, which I love. It is nice knowing that my praise and adoration is appreciated, and I like that she orders me to praise her often. I did my best and I hope she enjoyed it, but wow it is hard to think when down that deep. I have no idea how coherent I managed to be, and I know I got side tracked at one point and started talking about how much I wanted her to fuck me and how I wanted to being used by her for sex without being allowed to cum myself (a big kink of mine) which she found amusing. I also talked about how much I loved my collar and the tag she had given me (Bitch on the front, Property of Raven on the back)

Unfortunately at that point something came up and we had to stop the trance. It was wonderful though! So gentle and relaxing. I’m a big masochist but gentleness can be very nice sometimes

#hypnosis #IRL play #gentle domme #For anyone who is interested this is basically one of my journal entries #with a bit of extra context for y'all so you can follow better #I highly recommend the idea of keeping a kink journal #It is an ongoing order for me and I personally think it was brilliant on Owner's part to think of the idea

3 notes · View notes

thenuisancetree · 4 years

Text

i’ve combined two tag games i was tagged in but put off doing because i can’t comprehend people actually wanting to get to know me. so this one is for you @a-tired-leftie-carnation and @watttine

top 3 friendships:

wow this is hard. suddenly, i know no friendships. i’ll just write down the ones from shows/movies i have most recently watched.

paul/ellie, the half of it: i love platonic love, and though paul mistook it for romantic love (which i don’t blame him because we grow up thinking there’s only romantic love between a girl and a boy), i really appreciated seeing how they supported one another. i mean when he looked up how someone knows they’re gay instead of how to accept someone who is gay, ahhh, there’s so many layers to that but to keep it simple, he wanted to understand ellie’s world. and how she wrote to food critics to help him and encourage him to expand beyond his family’s expectations? she did that, knowing that what he lacked in creative writing, he made up with cooking and people deserved to eat his taco sausages.

fong/tine, 2gether the series: fong seems to be the closest to tine, judging from ep.9, so sorry to phuak and ohm. and when he confirmed what we all were assuming about tine’s insecurities, that just really hit. plus it was fong’s room he went to when he was overwhelmed with missing wat. fong has probably been there for most of tine’s relationship mishaps and he knows that tine isn’t used to a real relationship with real emotional connection, so i just know that he’d be ready to chew out wat if there was any indication he had hurt tine. also fong just seems like the only one who has experienced having a functional brain cell for more than 5 minutes.

david/stevie, schitt’s creek: god i love their friendship. their back and forths are hilarious, and i die every time she pokes fun at him and his antics, especially when patrick is on her side, laughing at how ridiculous his boyfriend can be. and they’re just from different worlds and seeing those two worlds collide is something that calls for a fun spectacle because they get along with how much they don’t like or trust people. can’t believe the show ended already but you know, i have to wait to watch the episodes like a heathen. sigh.

lipstick or chapstick?

chapstick. my lips are always so dry.

last song

last song i listened to? let me check. the key to life on earth by declan mckenna. it’s just so catchy.

reading

i should be reading my assigned abnormal psychology textbook chapters but i’m not so….teehee. i want to start reading again :( i miss my younger days

3 random things that make me happy:

- when dogs or cats jump into my lap. they want to be my friend too!

- when my friends randomly text me to tell me about their day.

- when people talk to me about our common interests. it’s nice to talk about movies or shows with people who are invested in them just as much as i am

nickname

emo. yeah, it’s a great nickname....it came about when someone said my music taste was melancholic. it’s not! i just tend to like acoustic and soft songs.

gender

...is a social construct. but female.

star-sign

leo

height

confidential. but probably not tall enough to ride a rollercoaster despite the fact that i am almost 20.

hogwarts house

pottermore says slytherin, but i took one of the full ones available online and i’m pretty evenly split among all the houses.

where i’m from

united states. california, specifically.

favorite animal(s)

is it cheesy to say all animals? i’m scared of sea creatures but that doesn’t mean i don’t advocate for their preservation.

number of blankets

i own several, each one depending on the weather but when i sleep, i only use one.

when i started this account

like two days ago. my other, almost a year ago, but i’ve been lurking on tumblr since 13...

why i started this blog

i have become hyperfixated on 2gether during quarantine and wanted to keep my main dan and phil blog strictly that. i’m thinking of making a separate aesthetic blog because ooooo pretty things, but also it might distract me from my studies which i’m already failing at.

i’m not tagging anyone because after all this time, i don’t know a lot of people on here. even digitally, i am bad at making friends. also excuse the typos, i’m typing all of this on my phone.

#about me

2 notes · View notes

irondadfanfics · 5 years

Link

by xoxo_death

"Dude, you've got to chill. I don't even see the big deal here."

"I told you! There's too much of a chance of them finding out about, you know, pew-pew!"

"Okay, a) one would think that two geniuses could come up with a better code name for your split persona than, no offense, pew pew. b) I still don't see how that's going to happen. Its not like Stark Industries has a big banner in the lobby that reads, 'Welcome, Peter Parker! More commonly known as SPIDER-MAN!''

"Not helping Ned."

"And let's face it, on the off chance of that happening, Flash would probably manage to convince himself that you somehow hacked into the tower to have it placed there."

"Wow, thank you, my supposed best friend, for bringing up another cause of my anxiety. Your helpfulness and tact astounds me."

"Oh, just shut up."

Or, the insanely cliche field trip fic that has my best efforts to tone down the unbearable cringe. And its more realistic. Hopefully. Read if you're as obsessed with this trope as I am.

Words: 994, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, Flash Thompson, Michelle Jones, Academic Decathlon Team (Spider-Man: Homecoming), Tony Stark, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Harley Keener, Avengers Team (MCU), Shuri (Marvel)

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Shuri, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Shuri, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Avengers Team

Additional Tags: Field Trip, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, flash is a bitch, but a realistic bitch, BAMF Michelle Jones, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, bi!peter parker, though its not really shown, Peter is a Little Shit, im trying to put a little peter/mj but i dont think its gonna be there, mj knows about spiderman, Domestic Avengers, (love that trope), BAMF Natasha Romanov, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Captain America's PSAs, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), must. protect. at. all. costs., there will be some swearing, also im a little ocd so dont worry about grammar errors or typos, i would die before i let those exist in something i wrote, vines will come, These Are Too Many Tags, i might add more lmao

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Tony Stark #Peter Parker #Irondad #Spiderson #Marvel Cinimatic Universe #MCU

4 notes · View notes

firebirdsdaughter · 5 years

Text

Heh heh, whoops…

… Realised I forgot to do a Ryusoulger Raw post.

So… Y’all get to hear my initial reactions to the subbed version! Yay! XD

Let’s a-go!

In no particular order and w/ many typos:

Naohisa peeling the banana for Ui bc she’s so busy staring. XD Ui, I know Asuna is beautiful, and the boys, too, but please remember to eat?

Well, that’s either really convenient, or Naohisa knows more than he’s letting on. This is Sentai. It could be either.

Aw, poor Melto. Come here, I’ll give you a hug. ^^ Sometimes I’m a good mother.

I think I already waxed about why I love the way Banba immediately, like, flies to this guy’s side in the tags of Ryuu’s gifset, but it still holds. Believes he can’t trust people and that kindness is weakness, but still can’t stop himself. I am really hoping for an episode/something way down the line where he has a ‘I would have turned into a monster w/out Touwa and the rest of you’ moment. Might just write one myself, eventually. ^^

And the coincidence, one of the true heroes of Toku, saving the day is also still hilarious. Like, if Banba had been one block over.

Why was he even on this street to begin w/?

Why is Touwa here? I find it hard to believe Banba would at all be interested.

No, actually, I know why. Bc plot.

Aw, he came bc he loves you two and is constantly anxious. Melto is absolutely the type of person who is afraid to let the people he loves out of his sight bc what if they didn’t look both ways before crossing the street and got hit by a truck???? And I doubt Biker Dad’s death helped that at all. Kou and Asuna are all he’s got left of his ‘family’ and he’s secretly terrified of losing them, too. Hey, Melto, I think I just got an idea for an angst tidbit for you, and I’m really sorry.

Aaaaand the youngest brothers are at it again. XD Dorks.

My ‘age’ order for this family is Naohisa, Banba, Melto, Asuna, Kou, Touwa and Ui. Age in quotes bc obviously the canon ages are completely wild. But I think I’ve done the fam break down before, so I won’t go into it again. ^^

I mean, gotta hand it to Wyzul. It’s a situation where acting blatantly weird and out of place works. Like, it’s a legit acting job. People in special events/games. Ren fairs. Yes, he’s acting really evil and suspicious, but that’s easily explainable as that being the character. Another pretty good plan. Very Sentai, but actually a good plan.

OH GOD NO! IT’S A MIMIC! DX

I don’t actually play Dark Souls, but…

Okay, but I wouldn’t be getting too comfy, yet. You’re missing one, and he happens to be the most stab-happy out of all of them. Like, I’m sorry, but as a villain, I would be celebrating while Banba was unaccounted for. I’d be checking the back stairwell.

This confirms that the chibis are merely going in colour order and have no bearing on the focus character.

Mother¡Melto makes another appearance, in a small way. ^^

I don’t know, Asuna. Given that none of you remember how you got here, I think it’s very valid of Melto to fear this was a Druidon trap.

Kou takes a moment to look majestic. XD HAve you been taking lessons from Banba? ^^

This is so obviously suspicious. Like. It’s obviously magic. Touwa and Asuna win the doofus award this ep. At least Kou figured it out eventually.

Touwa is the super winner of the award, though. Asuna had the sense to snap to it when told there were Druidon. XD

Honestly, she probably needs the protein and calories. Her super strength might mean she burns through energy faster than other people.

Actually, I dunno if that makes sense.

Mother¡Melto again. XD ‘Don’t eat mystery meat!’ is kind of like he’s telling her not to take food from strangers…

Yup, Touwa’s a dumb. ^^ I love how in the character blog, Yuito was like ‘he would have gotten scolded if his brother was there.’ XD Probably one of the reasons they didn’t want Banba in Wonderland w/ them. A) he would have snapped Touwa out of it too soon, and B) given how the chests open in their own, they didn’t want to reveal too much about his past, I guess? Though I wish they would tell us at least a little more. Keep it slow, absolutely, but I’m hoping for some more concrete hints soon.

A for effort, Melto. You tried.

Also, oh, Kou. ^^ Cutie. So it is limited—bc they had to stay trapped in the ‘box,’ it couldn’t actually grant Kou’s wish. But it sure tried. Kinda like w/ that Yummy that was destroying people’s dreams when it tried to attack Eiji, and the world came out of his mind.

Aw, he’s fine. The boy is durable. ^^

Kou, now is the time when you assume this is not the real world, you dork. XD

Aw, did Banba help clean up? Actually, there’s no indication if he did or not, but it’s sweet to think he did. ^^

I mean, he’s got a point. It could have a backlash. My recommendation would be to poke it first. Though since Kou crashed into it before, it’d probably just be impervious…

Oh, don’t remind him of that, that was (obviously unintentionally) kinda insensitive of her… Well, it did say that she sometimes has a habit of saying the wrong thing/speaking so bluntly she has trouble communicating… We haven’t really seen that yet, but I think it’s kind of coming into play here, since Melto’s bio, and this ep, establish that Melto is self conscious and doubts himself in comparison to the others… So that probably hurt him a lot more than she intended it too.

But bc he’s Melto, he didn’t communicate that, so she had no way of knowing and no chance to reassure him she didn’t mean it that way.

God, Banba’s got a compulsive apologising streak, Melto has an inferiority complex, neither likes admitting hurt/weakness, esp to people they care about… And then there’s Asuna being too blunt and saying thing w/out thinking, Kou and Touwa are probably in the ‘bottle things up’ boat, too, just of the Stepford Smiler/Snarker variety… Any more of my quirks you’d like to spread out amongst the team, Toei? Like, maybe Gold is constantly terrified he’s bothering everyone?

Sorry (exhibit A XD) that got a little nonsensical. Right now it’s mainly Banba, Melto, and Asuna who are exhibiting some of my habits (apologising [for ex. rather than thanking someone], a slight inferiority complex compared to more “successful” friends, an in ability to read social cues and saying things w/out thinking).

And I love them for it. DX Really gotta write more Melto now!

Aaaaaaaaand… Now I’m crying all over again. DX I mean, hi Biker Dad and all, but poor Melto… TT^TT

This poor baby… DX Like, you can tell that for a fraction of a second, he’s almost like ‘oh my god, you’re alive?!?!?’ And… Then the memory hits him. DX

And then he promptly logics himself out to ‘I’m hallucinating.’ Oh, baby… DX

I know it would’ve broken the illusion, but… I wish Melto could’ve hugged him. Let the boy hug his Biker Dad. DX

Or, if not, can someone please hug someone??? Please?!?!?

Aw, he’s scared, though. I mean, I totally think he was the anxious, ‘oh my god what if I turn around for a moment and they fall of a cliff?!?’ sort of person before, but losing their Masters magnified that. He loves them so much he was afraid of something happening to them before, but now that something terrible has happened to someone else he loves, it’s even worse.

Basically, he was already terrified of something bad happening to the people he loved, and then something did, validating that terror.

Inferiority complex probably didn’t help. It’s not exactly resentment toward people perceived as ‘better’ (though there is some in it), but feels like a failure on the part of the one w/ the complex for not being ‘good enough’ or able to ‘catch up.’ He knew they were good at fighting, but was terrified by their recklessness and feared he might not be strong enough to help them one day, or something. Not sure any of that made sense.

I do like the idea of Biker Dad inside the Blue RyuSoul just being like, ‘oh no, Melto is worrying himself into a corner, maybe it will help if I astral project and give him a pep talk.’ Might be cute if the Masters’ souls are still semi ‘present’ or ‘aware’ in the RyuSouls.

…

… Ooooooo. I just got an idea. Kinda like in that Magiranger episode. Like, the trio get trapped in some ‘magical dimension’ or something again, and, like, the Masters are somehow there, or their souls come out of the RyuSouls somehow… Anyway, could have something like when… Houka, I think it was, didn’t want to leave that place bc it seemed like their mother was there. Could also include friendship bc maybe the final straw for them finding the will to go isn’t just ‘we need to protect the world’ but also, on a more personal level, the Tatsuis and the brothers? Like, if they realise that the boys are getting overwhelmed in the real world, esp if the brothers are partially fighting to try and rescue them, and are about to get defeated, and meanwhile Ui’s in the line of fire bc she’s trying to help civilians and doing everything she can, too… Could be cute. And heartbreaking.

That was a bad explanation, I’ll try to be more concise later.

Why… Is he explaining this?

Again. I wouldn’t be celebrating while mister handsome murder boy the Majestic Knight is still at large.

I like how it’s still saying ‘here, here.’

Wow, Melto can jump!

Oooo. They came out of the fire! Cool effect.

I’d question how Biker Dad knows this, but he’s dead, so maybe he’s omniscient now. I dunno. I’m inclined to give more leeway to people knowing weird things if they’re dead. Bc they’re no longer tied to this plane, ya know?

Anyway.

…

……

……… Butt. DX

AAAAH! DX Poor baby. He’s all like ‘I did it, dad!’ and briefly forgets that it was an vision, and then of course Biker Dad is gone, and it… TT^TT

Ah, yes. The perfect way to get me to stop crying. Cut directly from sad, introspective Melto to Banba tenderly caressing the lid of some random box. XD

Now, I will not grow out of that joke. XP Ryusoulger here, making me jealous of inanimate objects like pros.

Must everything he does be so very attractive? And by that I mean sexy? But for some reason I am very self-conscious about that word???

Touwa still wins the super doof award.

And now, Melto does math. I think.

XD Kou’s crash into the dome was useful! Though I’m impressed Melto could have any estimation of what the height of that was. ^^

I really like the little collars of the suits. I really do.

AH. I FIGURED IT OUT. THE LITTLE ‘LIFE BLOBS’ ARE SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT THE MINUSAUR!

(pictures at the bottom)

CUTE.

XD Using the Minusaur’s power against it. ^^ Nice going Melto.

I guess it’s not technically him piloting alone—though he does seem to be the one in control…

XD Wyzul and Crayon’s reactions are so funny. ^^

Touwa just lying on the grou w/ his arms folded is still funny.

Banba just… Freaking teleports behind Kou. How did he even find them? Did he walk down the street carrying the box while fully transformed? XD

Banba interrogating the mooks is hilarious bc, esp in most recent years, they can’t actually talk. The most recent exception I can think of is Kyuranger’s mooks.

XD The absolutely unnecessarily fancy sword twirling he does just to point it in the other direction. <3

I mean, I guess it might seem a little silly, but… Isn’t there a belief in Shinto that all things have souls, even inanimate objects? So… Not so far afield, really. Though that does kinda make it sadder that Banba just smashed it. DX Requiescat in pace, antique miniature garden box. Thank you for your sacrifice.

Most easily defeated Mimic. Ever.

Asuna and Kou are either staring into my soul, or thinking about how cool Banba is, and I find both to be valid.

Touwa, don’t be mean. DX Ah, dorks.

This scene is really cute. Y’all here turning into a family w/out noticing, between the younger sibs teasing Melto and then goofing off among themselves, Banba just walking behind them like a tired babysitter and even shooting a look at Melto like he’s trying to make sure Blue’s still w/ them… Cuties.

Also, Touwa bouncing. ^^ <3

The soft piano version of the theme song definitely helps, too. ^^

That hug is still available if you want it, Melto.

And yes, I’d like to think it was. ^^

Still wondering what was up w/ that hooded person. They’re in the opening. They can’t just forget they exist! What happened in the rest of that secene w/ the brothers? Not even Touwa has mentioned it. Did they get their memories of the encounter wiped? Or is there something more?

Preview:

I like the opening shot of Asuna playing a carnival game while the boys watch. Like, it’s so cute and family-y. Melto’s so excited for her like a proud mom and Kou seems to trying to perfect his strategy. XD

Asuna once again finds herself talking people out of… That.

At this point, I don’t care how short that Banba sulking scene is or how little it relates to the plot. I just want to see it. ^^

That’s all, folks! Virtual mochi for anyone who read all that! I really liked this episode, and I’m glad for Melto getting a chance to be very heartbreaking, too. Next episode is an Asuna ep, and while I’m a little cagey about it bc of the short summary we saw at first, I’m willing to give the show the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions about how they’re going to handle it. Hoping we’ll see Anky Mom, too, though there haven’t been any shots of her in the previews… Well, it wouldn’t make much sense if they didn’t eventually bring her back in some way. Still hoping for more concrete info about the brothers’, and specifically Banba’s past. Not all at once, but you could slowly start giving us more. Though it’s not that pressing, and is mainly bc I’m an impatient baby—they’ve got time to do it. And then there’s mysterious hooded person who is in the opening. Gaisoulg? Master Gold? Probably too old to be Gold, but who knows. It does seems strange that not even Touwa, the more friendly of the two, has brought it up to the trio. You’d assume he’d mention ‘oh, yeah, mysterious cloaked man came and sought us out and [something something]’ Makes me very suspicious of cloaked man. Did he wipe their memories? Threaten them? Just plan ask them to keep him a secret? Is he friend of foe? Is he Naohisa? Who knows. But I’d like some clues. At some point.

Lastly, the screenshots I promised, of the life blobs, and the thing everyone else probably already noticed:

#Kishiryu Sentai Ryusoulger #Ryusoulger Spoilers #my precious Dino Children #I love five (5) beautiful colourful Dino Knights #not much else to say #XD #loved the ep #want to write more w/ Melto now #also I'm an impatient baby who wants more #Birthday Sentai #Dino Dragon Knights And Their Cat

6 notes · View notes

sailor-cresselia · 6 years

Text

okay so that article on burnout i reblogged immediately before this post.

i started to write a freaking tag essay and realized that was a terrible idea.

so here, have a post under a cut.

(also, like, there’s probably going to be copious swearing because? i’m actually trying to avoid censoring myself for this one? we’ll see.)

The decision paralysis, the concept of ‘not meeting adult-hood landmarks because they don’t exist anymore’, the idea of ‘being one of the more productive people on the work floor is still not enough, because i can’t get things done at home’...

well fuck, i’m in this fucking picture and i don’t fucking like it.

i mean, i suck. i know i suck, and people just get mad at me when i say that. and i’m damn well aware they’re mad at the sentiment and not at me, but since i’m the one thinking the bullshit, then they’re mad at me for it existing. it’s just that they don’t see it that way.

because my brain is dumb, which means i’m dumb.

anxiety fucking sucks, and i’m not even sure if that’s one of the things i was diagnosed with anymore, because the only ones i remember were ‘depression’ and ‘aspergers’, but. like. i’m not sure the depression one was accurate, and technically speaking aspergers doesn’t exist anymore? because god fucking forbid we want to have something to call it. also, they didn’t actually tell me the autism one until i was entering high school, and i’m pretty sure that i’d been diagnosed mid-middle school. and also i’m not even confident i remember any of that correctly, since everything blurred together pretty much immediately.

the sentiment of “There’s a word for it” is so fucking important, especially when you have trouble putting things in words. when your mouth and brain are running at different speeds, and you can’t say the thoughts before you lose track of which sentence you were on, you need to have a phrase ready. But if you don’t, you get the pauses that frustrate everyone including yourself, and mean that nothing actually gets said.

see: every fucking time i try to talk to anyone.

i got sidetracked again. i was planning to ‘copy’ the tag essay over here. whoops.

The thing about the ‘decision paralysis’ that the article mentioned... well, one of the many things about it, is that you can’t actually explain it to someone who doesn’t go through it themselves. See again: “There’s a word for it.”

I have yet to be able to explain to my parents that “No, i really have trouble with making a fucking decision on how to find the music you want for that playlist. I can’t figure out what search terms to use, because I don’t actually know what you’re talking about for ‘dinner music’, and the explanations you were able to give didn’t. actually. y’know. help.”

That’s not their fault, that’s on me being stupid and dumb.

i can’t make a decision because i freeze up. I freeze up because i know i will inevitably get some part of the decision wrong, and it doesn’t matter how infinitesimal that part is, it’s still wrong. and having been in the ‘advanced track’ or whatever the hell we called it at my school, i got convinced that even slightly wrong is completely wrong. and that’s just not okay.

i don’t even think that sentiment actually came from the teachers? or the lessons? or anything really? but welcome to america, where if you’re in the ‘high performing’ section, you somehow get convinced that anything less than perfect is as good as a failure.

(where you go on a vacation to disney in fourth grade and are still required to write the mandatory journal entry every day, even though you don’t. know. what. to. say.)

(a lot of those ‘daily writing assignments’ we did wound up being my first forays into fanfiction actually. ... i don’t really know what my teachers thought of those particular entries. wish i could find some of those notebooks, it would be good to post for a laugh.)

but i digress. again.

i can’t explain the ‘i’m not able to make a decision’ thing to anyone. because i freeze up when trying to figure out how to explain it, and that leads to the awkward pauses in speech, which leads to a completely different form of freezing up, because i don’t want to annoy people.

Being annoying is basically the same as being wrong and failing, after all.

And. like. i know that getting stupid, mundane things ‘wrong’ isn’t the end of the world. i’m well aware of that, you don’t need to keep reassuring me of that, okay? because that reminder just makes me feel worse, because it means i’m getting upset over stupid fucking things, instead of anything that’s actually bad.

which just leads to another thing that i can’t explain to people, because feeling wrong about stupid things means that I haven’t made enough of a successful effort at being better at being a functional person. That’s what winds up frustrating them, which makes me start tearing up because that’s just what fucking happens, which leads to me just not talking anymore.

because emotions are the enemy and are so often the wrong ones and so much as mentioning them just makes everyone else angry, so. it’s just. best. not to bring it up.

Like, i know that all of this is dumb. so i’m being dumb for thinking that way. But i can’t actually explain that vocally, because then people (my parents) assume (probably) that i’m saying i’m not intelligent. i can’t explain that no, that’s not what i’m saying. i’m saying that the thought itself is dumb, and that the act of thinking said thought is dumb. not that i, myself, am not smart. i know i’m smart. i’m just terrible at being smart.

so i can’t explain that. because there are different definitions for what ‘being dumb’ entails - there’s ‘i’m not intelligent’, which i think is what they conclude i’m saying when i try to explain this stuff, when it’s really, really not. what I’m saying is that the action itself is what’s moronic. but i can’t get that across without tripping over my damned tongue and pausing, and grumbling about dropped words, and frustrating everyone involved in the conversation to the point where i wind up just saying never mind, it’s not important, and changing the subject. or walking away. or letting them change the subject, because fuck knows i’m just going to get that wrong somehow too.

i can’t even fucking put something in the grocery cart when we go shopping, because that’s being super fucking rude and inconveniencing everyone. I’M TWENTY EIGHT AND I CAN’T ALLOW MYSELF THAT.

I live with my parents. that’s another failure, here in the states anyway. because i’m not independent, it’s not even the ‘starting a family’ bullshit, it’s the ‘not able to live on my own because i’m obviously not trying hard enough to not be a fucking dysfunctional coward’ bullshit.

also, for some reason everyone i know in real life, like, people who went to high school or college with me, all think it’s really out of character when they hear me swear? i dunno, because they think i’m too polite or something?

guys. no. it’s that i didn’t talk. ya know, because i’m a fucking coward. or shy. or whichever term you’ll accept for ‘human interaction is fucking terrifying and i’m going to get it wrong somehow whenever i try, so i’m just not going to fucking try that.’

(seriously, people, if i tell you i’m a coward or shy, whichever one i go with, please don’t tell me that that’s not true? because that’s like. the one way we could agree about my rampant social anxiety issues, and i would like people to accept that as an explanation for once, instead of trying to reassure me that it’s not true. because it is. those are the nice, socially acceptable ways of putting the problem.)

(also, like, reassuring me that ‘things are okay, you don’t need to get upset’ actively makes me more upset. It ALWAYS has. That’s not going to change anytime soon. For fucks sake, please stop saying that i ‘don’t need to worry.’ i’m well fucking aware of that, and when i literally ask you to stop saying that, and you say you’re going to make sure to remind me it’s okay, you are literally just making it worse and means i can’t fucking talk to you.)

basically everything is dumb, and i’m dumb and sick of being dumb, which means i’m even dumber and i can’t say a damn thing about it, because it’s rude and inconveniences everyone, and it means i’m. not. trying. hard. enough. to. make. life. work.

... see, if i could, like, print this shit up and hand it to my therapist tuesday? (if that’s even what the meetings are? i don’t fucking know at this point) that might help. or it might get me in hot water. so i’m probably not even going to try.

because the usual reaction from pretty much anyone ever is ‘are the medications not working anymore?’ and that’s. not true? i think? they’re working. i think. but it’s not like i’d know what my actual baseline is without them. because i always feel physically awful if i miss them, but i’m an anxious wreck either way. and since said state of being a wreck is to different degrees from day to day, it’s not like i’ve got a baseline for with the medications, either.

fuck everything, is basically what i’m saying.

... i can’t tell if i got off topic or not anymore. i’m gonna go edit this for spelling and spacing issues now, because while keeping typos in might be more authentic and natural, it also means i feel like an idiot for not being better at typing when i know full well i’m spelling things wrong.

not going after capitalization though. that’d just be a pain in the ass, and caps and italics are a part of tone.

you will have to pry my formatting from my dead, colder hands.

(i run really fucking cold, or at least my extremities do. like, i can put my hand on my face, and i know that it’s way too cold to be normal. i’m pretty sure that’s a bad sign, but it’s literally always been true, so. ??? that’s just how it is.)

(yeah, wow, there were a lot of typing fumbles in here. all of those are gone now. this got stupidly long. why am i allowed to write again?)

3 notes · View notes

elleberquist6 · 6 years

Text

Stray Cat - chapter two

Rating: Mature Word Count: 1748 Warnings: Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut Summary: Phil Lester believes that if he does good things then good things will happen to him, so on one of the worst days of his life he invites a rain-soaked Neko boy named Dan into his home. Phil has never met a Neko before and he knows nothing about the dark system that has molded Dan. Dan is part of a repressed population with few rights, and as Phil gets to know him he can’t understand why – Dan is the most amazing person he has ever met. --- Phil and the Neko entered the apartment building and walked up the stairs in a comfortable silence, but once he unlocked his door and they went into his home, the silence became a bit more oppressive.

The boy was the first to move, taking off the borrowed jacket and hanging it on the hook beside the door so it could dry. Phil smiled at the boy and gestured to the kitchen, where their dripping clothes wouldn’t ruin the tile floor. “If you'll wait in there, I’ll get some towels.”

They parted in the hallway, and Phil retrieved two large, fluffy towels from his linen closet. When he returned to the kitchen, he found the Neko staring at an overripe banana that Phil left on the table, meaning to throw it away, and the Neko was practically drooling.

“Wow, you really must be hungry.”

The boy blinked in surprise at Phil’s reappearance and at the towel Phil tossed him, but he caught it. The Neko continued to sit at the kitchen table while he dried himself, but Phil leaned against the kitchen countertop, preferring to stand while he thought. They both rubbed the towels roughly across their arms to get the blood flowing, and as the Neko dried his ears and then hair, Phil realized that the wet waves were going to dry as curls, which probably looked rather cute.

Phil finished with his towel first, since the Neko needed to dry his tail next. While he did, Phil turned to his kitchen cupboards, which he knew were nearly empty. “Hey, I promised you food, but I don’t know what you like to eat.”

For some reason, Phil had hoped that the warmth and safety of his kitchen would encourage the boy to start talking, but when he turned around he’s met with the same silence that was becoming familiar. Could he be mute? At least the Neko was looking less miserable.

Phil bit his bottom lip as he thought, and he finally decided to think out loud since he was unlikely to get a response. “I don’t know if I said, but I have never met a Neko before, and I don’t know what you guys eat.”

The Neko was now looking at him with interest as he rubbed the towel over the damp fur of his tail. His ears were upright and pointed forward.

“So,” Phil said. “Would it be insulting if I made you a tuna fish sandwich, or would you like it?”

The Neko burst with sudden laughter, and the sound warmed Phil to his core. Phil decided to make him a saucer of milk, just to hear the sound again. He made himself a sandwich too, since this was about the time he’d normally be having dinner. They ate in comfortable silence, though after hearing him laugh Phil was pretty sure that the Neko could talk but he just didn’t want to now. Phil decided not to press the issue, and he relaxed, enjoying the boy’s company. He could tell that the boy was hungry as he finished half the sandwich in the time it took Phil to take a couple bites of his.

Once they had both finished dinner, Phil asked the boy, “Do you have anywhere to go tonight? Maybe there is someone you could call if I let you use my phone?”

Phil hadn’t expected a response. Up until now, the Neko had just stared at him and barely indicated that he understood a word Phil was saying, but this time he shook his head.

“Do you want to spend the night here?” Phil asked, and the Neko’s eyes widened looked afraid, but Phil wasn’t sure why. They were still wearing wet clothes, and shivering slightly, so Phil decided to offer more incentive. “I have some spare pjs I can lend you and my couch is pretty comfortable.”

The boy relaxed and accepted the offer with a nod and a slight smile. Phil left the Neko in his bathroom with a blue flannel pj set, and by the time he returned Phil had brought a pillow and a duvet to the couch. The Neko slumped onto the couch, looking exhausted and his ears were drooping. His hair was completely dry now and was a wild mess of curls that made Phil want to try to tame it with a brush; he looked so young like this.

As he closed his brown eyes, Phil noticed something around his neck – it’s a black collar with a silver tag hanging from it. There’s something written on the tag, but Phil would have to lean closer to read it, and he didn’t want to startle the Neko by getting so close. He cleared his throat to make the boy reopen his eyes. “I’m going to go to my room now. Good night.”

The Neko nodded and as Phil left the room he burrowed under the duvet. Phil shut his bedroom door, but he didn’t turn off his light, as this was much earlier then he usually went to bed, but he didn’t want to keep the tired boy awake with the noise of the TV in the living room. Instead, he turned on his laptop and pulled up Google. He typed “Neko” into the search field.

The first results didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know: Nekos were cat-human hybrids with ears and tails. There was a lot of social discrimination against them and laws that prevented them from getting jobs and owning property – instead, Nekos were the ones who were owned.

He saw a website that seemed to offer advice to Neko owners. He didn’t own the boy in his living room, but there might be something useful here, so he clicked on it. There was an article on the website called ‘My First Neko’, and he started reading.

Congratulations on your purchase! As you get to know your new Neko friend, there are some things that you should understand about them. Personality: As a species, Nekos tend to have the following very common positive personality traits – they are sweet, caring, playful, and loyal. There are also some negative personality traits common to Nekos, such as laziness, short attention spans, and gluttony. Also, they are helpless and dependent on their owners for all needs.

Needs: • Food: First, your Neko will need food. The average healthy Neko can follow the same diet as their owner, so just make your Neko a serving of whatever you are eating, and they should be happy. • Clothes: Your Neko will need clothes to keep warm. While they can wear pants with their tail tucked into a pantleg, most Nekos are more comfortable with a hole cut in the pants to accommodate their tails. • Heat: This is a monthly healthcare concern for adult Nekos, as they can become ill if not properly cared for during a heat. A physician can prescribe heat suppressants to diminish the affects of the heat, though this is costly. A cheaper alternative that most owners prefer is to handle their Neko’s heat by themselves. • Toys: Remember that your Neko can become bored easily, so use toys to keep them entertained. From the innocent to the wicked, we have it all! Click [here!] to view our online store Grimacing in disgust, Phil clicked away from the website. While Phil didn’t like the way that the article referred to Nekos like they were inferior creatures, he was sickened by the abruptly sexual content of the article. It wasn’t really like that for Nekos, was it? They weren’t looked at as sex toys. Were they?

Of course, he’d heard of their reputation. While Phil had never met a Neko in real life before today, the little he’d seen of them had been in movies and on TV. Sometimes it wasn’t a real Neko and it was just an actor with ears and a tail pinned on, but the role was always the same: sex worker. They were portrayed as strippers, prostitutes, escorts, porn stars, and they always met violent ends.

Phil shook his head because this had to be a stereotype. The Neko sleeping on his sofa was just a kid, and Phil couldn’t imagine him going through some of the situations he’d witnessed on Law and Order: SVU. He cleared the search field on Google and typed ‘why do people buy Nekos’. The results weren’t very helpful since it seemed like not many articles had been written on this topic besides the vague few that claimed Nekos were for companionship. It seemed more likely that it’s an open secret – everyone knew what Nekos were used for, and no one wanted to discuss it.

Before he could click away, he saw that as he scrolled down his results yielded something different: not why do people buy Nekos, but where do people buy them. Phil already had one more Neko on his hands than he knew what to do with, but the name of one website sounded promising: ‘Neko House’. It was located in London not too far from where Phil lived, so he investigated further on their website.

As he was about to click on the listings for Nekos on the website out of curiosity, he saw another option for ‘sell’. He clicked it. There was contact information stating that Neko House would buy healthy Nekos, no questions asked. The standard offering price for Nekos was also listed, and the number of zeros in the offer made Phil gape. That had to be a typo. They couldn’t actually be worth that much. £10,000. That was 5 months of rent for Phil.

At the same time though, how could anyone put a price on a living creature? The idea made Phil shut his laptop, not wanting to see any more. He had just wanted to find someplace safe for the boy because tomorrow the boy would be back on the streets if Phil didn’t do something. A place called Neko House sounded so perfect in name, but would the boy be safe if he gave him to them? And what about the money? He could use it to live comfortably while he looked for a new job, but how could he spend it, knowing that the Neko he had sold might be used as a…

He couldn’t think about that anymore, so he placed his laptop on the floor beside his bed and he turned off his light, leaving his problems for another day.

#phan #phandom #phanfic #phanfiction #dan and phil #dan x phil #neko

2 notes · View notes

phandomsecretvalentines · 7 years

Text

Tell Me Everything Will Be Alright

This is my fic (and my first phanfic wow) for the 2018 Phandom Secret Valentines, and my valentine is @citrouillephan!

I hope you enjoy! -from your valentine, @realityfallsapart

tags: fluff, angst, 2009 AU

words: 4.7k

Summary: Dan Howell tends to get lost in his head and his thoughts have a habit of ruling him even when he doesn’t want them to. When he and his best friend finally have a chance at meeting, Dan starts to wonder if he is actually good enough for the amazing human being that is Phil Lester.

(ao3 link)

(Thank you so much to @moonbeamphan for reading this over and helping me! This wouldn’t be as good without you!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dan typed his answer and sent it by hitting enter before leaning back in his chair and letting out a shaky breath that seemed to rattle his insides. His laptop chirped quietly, announcing that Phil had replied to him. He couldn’t bring himself to look at it right away. Finally, after a few moments, he flicked his eyes down to the white screen of the computer in his lap where Phil’s most recent message seemed to glare up at him.

Phil :) (9:47 PM)

i know!

i can’t believe it either!

For a few moment, Dan could do nothing but stare at the screen; at the black words disrupting the artificial white light. It was the only thing that gave Dan any sort of illumination in his room; everything else was dark. He bit his lip and thought about the possible pros and cons of shutting his laptop and burying his head under his duvet to pretend that everything was fine because it was. It’s all fine.

Dan shook his head and reached his hands down to the keyboard. He wouldn't—couldn’t—do that to Phil. Phil deserved so much better than that. His numb fingers typed out a small sentence, only realizing that it had several typos until after he had sent it. He mentally kicked himself for it.

Dan ^-^ (9:51 PM)

Me niether! it seems like thsi would n e v e r happen!

**neither, this

Jeez i can spell

Phil :) (9:51 PM)

idk dan are you sure you can def spell? those seem like some pretty beginner mistakes…

Dan knew Phil was kidding. He knew that it was just Phil playing around with Dan like they normally did. Like they had been doing for months at this point. But in Dan’s heightened state of anxiety and stress, he couldn’t help but berate himself further. God, Phil must think of him as a kid now, he can’t even spell right!

Dan crashed back into his mattress, groaning and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid….” he muttered, hitting his forehead with his hand with every word.

Looking back on this moment, Dan would laugh and realize how utterly idiotic his anger with himself was coming from, but right now, in bed with the lights off and by himself, he couldn’t help but magnify the issue. He had been anxious and stressed without a pause this entire week.

He looked up at his ceiling, sighing in growing frustration towards himself, but it wasn’t just because of his inability to catch his typos. In fact, it had nothing to do with them. The typos had just tipped him right over the edge and all of his insecurities crashed over him like waves, his head nearly going under the tide.

To say he wasn’t good enough was an understatement. To say that Phil deserved a much better best friend than Dan was even more of one. Phil was older, more experienced, more mature, funny, smart, kind, and extremely compassionate. He had a great time making pretty successful and entertaining videos (at least in Dan’s opinion, and he would always fight anyone who said otherwise) on the side, on top of balancing life. Dan was younger, so much more less experienced with everything, he got overwhelmed with life and spent the majority of his time curled up under his covers surfing through the waves of his latest existential crisis or playing PC video games that he would forget about within the next 24 hours. He was purgatory in the form of a human and an incredibly underwhelming one at that.

He wasn’t sure how long exactly he laid there, stewing in his self-deprecation and wishing that he was better. Better in literally every aspect, maybe then he would finally be worth Phil’s time, if only a little bit. His computer chirped again, and then twice more minutes later in rapid succession, as if angry. Dan grasped for the thing, pulling it up to his chest, lacking the energy to sit back up.

Phil :) (10:07 PM)

Dan you know im joking right?

Phil :) (10:16 PM)

Dan? you still there? i was joking i promise you can make all the typos you want

u didnt fall asleep did you?

Dan couldn’t help the watery smile that turned the corners of his mouth up, albeit it being a small one. Phil had that effect on him even if Dan was falling apart on the inside. Just a little though, he was fine.

Dan ^-^ (10:18 PM)

nooo im not sleeping

Phil :) (10:18 PM)

Dan ^-^ (10:19 PM)

why the frowny face

Dan tried to keep the fear out of his thoughts but the talons of doubt had already settled around his heart. Was Phil mad that he didn’t answer right away? Would-

His laptop signaled the arrival of Phil’s reply, and Dan really didn’t know if he wanted to slam the lid of his computer shut or jump at the opportunity to find out if he had just ruined the best friendship he had ever had. Ever will. He went for the latter.

(Dan supposed he might be overreacting, but then again, when wasn’t he, it seemed?)

Phil :) (10:20 PM)

did i insult your typing skills one too many times? is that why you disapeared?

*disappeared

Dan used the best coping mechanisms for dealing with his anxiety that he knew: humor and avoidance. Together, they were a formidable force and Dan had spent a large majority of his time perfecting their potency.

Dan ^-^ (10:20 PM)

now look who’s making the typos

Phil :) (10:20 PM)

Dan.

He gulped. Now he had done it. Fuck. He had to fix this.

Dan ignored the roar behind his ears that seemed to be screaming that he should just ignore this all, pray that things would magically fix themselves and change the topic. That was his fear talking. His self-abandonment. His anxiety. His everything. Phil was worth so much more. So Dan pushed it all away for just long enough to reply.

Dan ^-^ (10:21 PM)

sorry, joke

no, thats not why i ran away

i was just thinking, thats all

Phil :) (10:21 PM)

were you doing it again

Dan tried to pretend that he didn’t know what Phil was talking about and simultaneously cursed himself for telling Phil about his increasing habit for getting lost in his thoughts. He failed. He knew exactly what Phil was talking about.

Back, about three weeks ago in a later-than-normal conversation where all of their inhibitions seemed to dissipate, Dan had finally come clean about how sometimes thoughts got the best of him. He would crumble under them, get so completely and utterly lost in his head that he would sometimes stay there for hours on end, picking apart anything that his conscience decided to dig up. And it hindered Dan, made him hate himself just that much more, made him hate how easily his anxieties held him hostage, stuck. But he couldn’t do much about it, it seemed, for whenever he got lost in his head, he always forgot that he had to get out.

Dan gulped. He had to lie his way out of this. He knew that Phil didn’t like it when Dan got stuck. He could pull off nonchalance, right?

Dan ^-^ (10:22 PM)

Phil :) (10:22 PM)

im not convinced

you were werent you

Dan ^-^ (10:23 PM)

does my word not count for anything lol

Phil :) (10:24 PM)

maybe if we were talking and i could see your face it’d count

Dan ^-^ (10:24 PM)

what’s my face got to do with anything?

Phil’s bubble appeared on the screen once, twice, three times, before he apparently decided on what he was going to say and sent it. The entire time Dan was a few words away from having a breakdown. His hands were shaking. His mind was racing faster than normal. Faster than it had in what seemed like a very long time.

Phil :) (10:26 PM)

bc then i could tell if you were lying

tho rn i dont even need that

Dan ^-^ (10:26 PM)

are u seriously saying im lying

Phil :) (10:27 PM)

yeah

you did everything that you always do when you arent telling the truth

you joked

changed / focused the conversation onto smth else

and besides

ive gathered that you really dont like to talk about the things that bother you. you like to ignore them and stuff

Dan ^-^ (10:28 PM)

so how bout we not talk about them then

Phil :) (10:29 PM)

normally, maybe

but not with this

Dan ^-^ (10:29 PM)

and why not?

Phil :) (10:29 PM)

bc i dont like it when you beat yourself up in your head

Dan ^-^ (10:30 PM)

who said i was beating myself up in my head

Phil :) (10:30 PM)

… dan :/

youre avoiding again

Dan cursed himself. God, since when could Phil read him like a book?

Dan ^-^ (10:32 PM)

fine. maybe i am

what are you gonna do about it philly?

Phil :) (10:32 PM)

daaaaannnnnn

you arent allowed to beat yourself up

no ones allowed to

especially you!

Dan giggled, just a little. He couldn’t help it when Phil was being…well, Phil.

Dan ^-^ (10:33 PM)

and why not? Hmm?

Phil :) (10:34 PM)

bc youre my favorite person silly

my favorite person cant be sad. its just the rules

Dan ^-^ (10:35 PM)

oh yeah? whose rules then, oh wise philip

Phil :) (10:35 PM)

ew dont call me philip my nan calls me that

and theyre my rules

my rules for my favorite person

Dan ^-^ (10:35 PM)

suuurrreee phil. sure its a rule

*philip

Phil’s cursor didn’t appear seconds after Dan had sent his message like usual. Insead, nothing appeared. Their good-natured banter had eased the storm raging inside of Dan and his thoughts and anxieties had died down a little, much more easier to bear with the distraction Phil was giving him, but with the sudden disappearance of his best friend, they came back full force. All of his doubts spilled into the front of his conscience. He shivered. It wasn’t from the cold.

Dan watched the little digital clock at the bottom of his laptop screen count the minutes falling away. One, two, three, four, five, god did what did he do-

Phil :) (10:41 PM)

[multimedia image: click to load]

With his heart in his throat, Dan clicked, and a small window appeared, momentarily covering their chat from Dan’s view. It was hard to make out, the quality bad and the image itself grainy and dark, but it was of a piece of paper lying atop two legs clad in bright pyjamas that Dan could immediately connect to Phil and his eccentric personality. He could make out the tip of Phil’s finger at the top of the shot, too. Squinting, he looked at the paper itself, zooming in to make out the words penned in Phil’s handwriting.

Rules:

1. Dan Howell is my favorite person

2. No one is allowed to make fun of him

3. ESPECIALLY if that “no one” is Dan himself

Dan started to laugh. Only Phil would actually make a list of “rules”. Only Phil.

Before Dan could reply, Phil was typing again.

Phil :) (10:43 PM)

there. proper rules written on proper paper. you have to follow them now

Dan ^-^ (10:44 PM)

i cant believe that you actually wrote rules you spork

but fine! i guess if i have to lol

Dan was still working heavily with avoiding the whole situation entirely, just like with what he was doing to the problem causing him so much stress to begin with, but he couldn’t help it. It’s just how he was.

Phil :) (10:46 PM)

so you admit to your crimes xD

but anyways

you were stuck in your head again

which is okay, i mean, i understand that it’s something you cant help

Dan felt like he was going to cry. Phil’s assurance that Dan’s mind running in panicked circles was perfectly okay was almost too much. Phil’s compassion was almost too much.

But it appeared that Phil wasn’t done, because his laptop dinged quietly again.

Phil :) (10:47 PM)

can i ask whats got you so sad and worried

so i can beat it up

obvs

Now Dan really wanted to cry. How could he tell Phil that the reason was him? How could he say that the root of this ball of anxiety and stress and worrying that had taken over him was Phil himself?

He couldn’t do that to Phil, not when his best friend would undoubtedly take it hard. God, if Phil knew why Dan kept getting lost in himself, he would be crushed.

Dan ^-^ (10:51 PM)

noooo

Phil :) (10:51 PM)

are you sure? i wont judge you dan, i swear it doesnt matter if you think i wont like it

i just wanna be here for you

If Dan wasn’t crying earlier, he was now, a few select tears dripping down his cheeks, brimming with the emotions that had been taking over him this past week. Phil was…too much. He was too kind, too sweet, too undeserving of someone like Dan. God, Phil deserved the whole world, he shouldn’t have to settle with Dan.

Another message appeared on Dan’s screen, as but this one didn’t seem like normal, it was a little off, a little rushed, a little…something. Dan couldn’t place it.

Phil :) (10:53 PM)

bc youre my best friend.

obvs. xD

If Dan wasn’t so out of it and was able to think clearly, he might have questioned Phil’s “clarification” of why and what sense he wanted to be there for him, but Dan was not in the best state of mind and he thought nothing of it.

Dan looked at his screen again. He still had to acknowledge Phil’s question, and he wasn’t sure how to go about it. He wanted to tell Phil he already told him everything, have Phil reassure him and tell him that everything was going to be okay again, like he normally did. But Dan couldn’t. He couldn’t lie again, once was already once too many, and something told Dan that if he tried to ignore it or change the topic, Phil would just call him out again.

Fuck.

Dan ^-^ (10:56 PM)

it doesnt matter

Phil :) (10:56 PM)

yes it does

its enough to make you get lost in that head of yours, so it matters

Dan ^-^ (10:57 PM)

phil we both know it doesnt take much for me to get lost in my thoughts

Phil :) (10:58 PM)

still

something is bothering you and i want to fix it

Dan bit his lip. God, Phil had no idea how badly he wanted to let him fix this. He couldn’t though. He just couldn’t.

Dan ^-^ (10:58 PM)

nooo phil, you cant fix this one

Phil :) (10:58 PM)

>:(

you cant even let me try?

Always, always, but just not with this. Dan couldn’t tell Phil this, not when it would hurt him.

Dan ^-^ (11:00 PM)

no phil, not with this sorry :(

Phil :) (11:01 PM)

:((((

okay

i may not like it but i can respect that

will you tell me tomorrow?

Dan looked at the screen, thinking about it. Tomorrow was what he was worried about to begin with. Could he tell Phil tomorrow? He wasn’t sure. Well, it didn’t matter if things went good or not, Dan mused, tomorrow Dan’s fears would either be affirmed or destroyed.

He could only hope.

Dan ^-^ (11:03 PM)

sure

tomorrow

Phil :) (11:03 PM)

yay!!!

Dan laughed, breathily.

Phil :) (11:03 PM)

oooh! look at the time!

its getting so late bear wow

guess we should get to sleep so we dont fall asleep on each other tomorrow huh? xD

Dan’s heart physically melted at the use of Phil’s pet name for him. He only used it occasionally, but it never failed to make Dan’s heart stutter in his chest and the butterflies in his belly to flit around faster, making him feel almost giddy. Hopeful.

God he sounded so stupid right now. Anxious and stressed out of his mind yet still acting like a little kid with their first crush.

Stupid feelings.

Dan ^-^ (11:05 PM)

yeah i guess we should!

night philly :)

Phil :) (11:05 PM)

goodnight dan!! :D

see you tomorrow!

(ps, idk whats bothering you and thats okay but i hope whatever it is it works out for you :“) )

Ah yes. That’s what it boiled down to. Tomorrow morning Dan would board a train and take it up to Manchester to spend some time with Phil. The first time that they would see each other in real life, not just behind a computer screen. They had skyped before and texted and chatted for countless hours over countless days, but the thought of tomorrow still made Dan want to throw up.

He wasn’t good enough for Phil. He was just so terrified that tomorrow Phil would see that.

Dan ^-^ (11:06 PM)

After hitting send Dan thrust the lid to his laptop down and pushed it off of his chest, letting it fall onto the bed. Dan felt sick again. He was so scared about tomorrow because there were so many things that could go wrong and so many flaws that Phil could discover about Dan and so many, so many, ways for what is supposed to be the best day of Dan’s life to turn out to be his worst.

God, he hated his anxiety for always picking things apart. Always fucking with Dan’s own head.

Dan rolled over and grabbed his duvet, pulling it up and wishing that it would just swallow him whole. Fuck. He couldn’t do it tomorrow. He couldn’t handle this stress.

Taking a deep breath, Dan clutched his duvet tighter in his grasp and tried to keep his lip from wobbling.

Right now he just wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget that he didn’t feel good enough, that yet again his insecurities were screwing him over, that he wanted to cry. He wanted to forget. Unfortunately for Dan the universe didn’t agree and he ended up staying awake for hours after the he had closed his laptop, the entire time doing nothing but thinking, getting lost in his head, and wishing that his thoughts would just turn off.

For once.

Please.

~~~~~~

Dan slung his bag over his shoulder. His fingers felt numb. Unlike his greatest hopes, the fitful-at-best night’s sleep did nothing to alleviate Dan’s terror. If anything, it had only magnified it because now it was today and Dan couldn’t run anymore.

He took a cab to the station, and he ended up being earlier than he needed to be, having about an extra ten minutes to wait for his train. He sat on a bench, his legs nothing but jelly at this point, his fears making it quite easy to foresee his long legs from just giving out on him. Dan didn’t want to make an embarrassment of himself on top of it all, so he tried to calm his racing heart while he sat.

With no luck.

Of course.

Dan looked down at the ticket in his hand. It would be so easy to not go. To walk right out of the station, spend the weekend at home instead of with Phil, and not risk Phil seeing how utterly underwhelming Dan was as a person. He could lie, could say that he ran late, missed his train, maybe his parents changed their minds and didn’t let Dan go.

But God, as Dan looked down at the paper in his trembling hand, he couldn’t help but know that he wouldn’t be able to actually go through with not leaving. He wouldn’t be able to lie to Phil, not about something this big—who was he kidding, he had a hard enough time lying to Phil last night over something so small!

But more than that, Dan knew that it was much more than not being able to lie to Phil. He had wanted to meet Phil ever since he had started to watch his videos, and the sentiment had only increased tenfold with their fast friendship. Phil was now much more than a hero, much more than a few minutes of distraction. He was Phil, Dan’s AmazingPhil, and he was his best friend. That lanky black-haired boy was worth so so much in Dan’s eyes, and he couldn’t, couldn’t, leave him in the dust like that. God it wouldn’t just kill Phil, but it would kill Dan too. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

Dan had been thinking too hard. Before he knew it the train was pulling into the station and Dan gulped, raising on still-shaky legs and gripping the strap of his bag so hard he didn’t even have to look to know that his knuckles were blotched white.

As Dan took his seat, a new resolve washed over him. He would go. He would endure this train ride that undoubtedly would be the most anxiety-inducing thing he had done in a very long time—possibly ever—and he would do it for Phil. If Phil would reject him or not, he would try not to dwell on it on the coming trip (a losing battle, Dan knew), but he would still go.

For Phil.

~~~~~

Dan’s heart was going so fast he was sure that he was going to pass out. His hands, his arms, legs, his whole body was trembling.

Manchester’s Piccadilly Station.

Dan was here.

There was a decent amount of people on the station as far as Dan could see as the train pulled in, but none of them looked like his best friend.

The train came to a stop and Dan stood, the first to make it to the doors and there when they opened.

Strangely enough, when the doors pulled open and Dan took a step out into the station, he stopped trembling. His heart slowed—not by much, but it slowed—and this whole thing didn’t seem quite as scary. Sure, Dan’s thoughts were still screaming in his head, sure, his anxiety was still off the charts, and sure, his hands were still sweaty and his breath was still shallow but still. It was as if a calm had washed over him.

Dan wasn’t sure what to make of it. Maybe he was just going into shock.

People busied around him, walking this way and that, talking into cell phones, to other people, some silent. Dan, unsure of everything right now, followed where the general push of people were guiding him, the whole time craning his head, looking for his Phil. He tried not to panic. He tried.

But with every second the calm that had overtook him was shrinking and his anxiety steadily increased.

Did Phil forget? Did he stand me up? Oh God he’s not coming he didn’t come-

"Dan!”

Dan whirled around at the sound of his name, uttered by a voice that sounded so much better when it wasn’t distorted by their shitty computer’s speakers.

Before Dan could register really anything, he was being engulfed in a hug, two strong arms wrapping themselves around Dan’s shoulders, pulling him flush against the figure.

Against Phil.

And instantly all of the shouting in Dan’s head was gone. The slight tremble in his hands vanished, and for the first time in a week, his anxiety was gone without a trace. Dan felt like crying.

Dan gasped in surprise, his brain taking a moment to reboot because Phil didn’t forget, didn’t stand him up, didn’t change his mind, and suddenly Dan felt very, very stupid because how could he ever think that Phil would do something like that. This was Phil, the kindest person on the planet.

Phil pulled away, just a little, just enough so they could see each other’s faces, and Dan had to keep himself from pulling Phil back in.

His smile was so wide, easily the widest Dan had ever seen it. And his eyes, oh God those eyes were a thousand times clearer, a thousand times more mesmerizing than behind a screen. Dan didn’t doubt for a second that he could stand here and look into them for the rest of the day without tiring of their never-ending beauty. Fuck. Why did his eyes have to be so gorgeous.

Dan tore his eyes away from Phil’s and looked over the rest of him, from his broad shoulders that Dan wanted to wrap his arms around, to the tussle of his hair that Dan craved to run his fingers through and the line of his jaw that Dan felt the need to trace. Double fuck. Why did the entirety of Phil have to be gorgeous.

“Dan! I can’t believe you’re here! I have today all planned out; I’m going to show you everything!” Phil said excitedly, a twinkle as clear as day in his eyes. Phil was practically vibrating with excitement and it made a smile spread over Dan’s features. Phil’s happiness was contagious.

Phil stopped his rambling, looking down at Dan sheepishly.

“I mean, if that’s all okay with you. If you don’t want to do something that’s okay, I totally get it. We can do anything you want, I-”

Dan tilted his head back and laughed, laughed because Phil seemed nervous. Phil was nervous and it was adorable.

“Yeah, yeah Phil it’s all fine. All of it, don’t worry. I just can’t believe you want to do it all with me.”

Phil’s smile faded a little, and the twinkle in his eye got that much smaller. He looked a little sad.

“Was this what you were so worried about? That I wouldn’t like you?”

Dan bit his lip and looked down, giving a little nod.

Phil pulled Dan right back into a hug, but this time it felt even more real, and it was impossibly tighter. It felt like Phil was pulling all of Dan’s lost pieces together. Phil’s voice was in his ear.

“Of course I like you, Dan. You’re my best friend. I like you more than anyone else. Promise.”

Dan might have just felt like crying, in that moment. Phil accepted him. He wasn’t going to leave him. Things were okay. They were okay.

He knew that this would hit him later, maybe tonight when he had a chance to process things. He’d probably cry out of relief, but it would all be okay because Phil would be there to hold him together and ease all of Dan’s worries.

Soon enough they set off, hand in hand, and Dan was smiling so wide, so, so wide. He couldn’t have been happier with how things had turned out.

Dan looked sideways at Phil, trying to not be too obvious.

This had worked out so maybe, just maybe, something else could work out for him.

~~~~~

Dan stood at the window, a cup of coffee in his hand. It was early, and he could see the technicolor dream across the sky that was that morning’s sunrise. The steam from his coffee rose from the rim of the cup and slowly diffused into nothing; tendril-like hands wisped up and around Dan’s neck.

It had been nearly nine years.

Dan’s nervousness and dark thoughts never ceased to plague him, however, he learned to deal with it better. He could confidently say that he has never been happier.

It had been nearly nine years, and they were still inseparable. Their channels had grown exponentially, and they boasted an insanely large fan community.

As the years had gone by, their strong, unbreakable friendship slowly blossomed into something remarkably beautiful. Their long Skype calls turned into late night kisses, and they had been happily in love for nearly nine years.

Dan twisted the ring on his third finger. As well as being happily in love, they were also engaged to be married within the next year. Lately, he’d been waking up in complete disbelief.

The thing Dan had wanted so desperately to work out for him did, and in the most perfectly perfect way possible.

#submission

4 notes · View notes

eloarei · 7 years

Text

All Night

Read here on AO3. words: 931 fandom: Boku no Hero Academia characters/ pairings: Izuku/All Might, Izuku/Bakugo, Class 1-A & Izuku (about half of 1-A is present) tags: chatlog, texting, dialogue-only, mild crack, teasing notes: I’ve never written a chatlog type fic before, but I woke up and suddenly it was there. Izuku just wanted to talk about the homework. xXx Deku: Did either of you finish the homework we got from All Night? Deku: It was kind of hard. ~No Gravity~: Pfft Deku-kun, was that a Freudian slip? Deku: what? Deku: omg uraraka-san no IngeniumX: Uraraka-san, you know Freud's theories have been disproven, right? Deku: it was ust a typo

IngeniumX: Although that doesn't necessarily diminish the implication. ~No Gravity~: hee! Deku: it was Autocorrect! ~No Gravity~: aww it's okay Deku-kun ~No Gravity~: i mean it's All Right. for you to like All Might Deku: uraraka-san please xBakusatsujinx: hahaha IngeniumX: Midoriya-kun, Uraraka-san is just teasing you. Deku: what? why is Kacchan here? IngeniumX: But I'm positive your friends and classmates will be fully supportive of you if that is the case. ~No Gravity~: Oh I added him when I made the group. xBakusatsujinx: Ochaco you hit the nail on the head with this one. Nerd's been obsessed since forever. ~No Gravity~: awww Deku: Kacchan come on xBakusatsujinx: when we were kids sometimes he wanted us to play pretend ~No Gravity~: so cute Deku: omg Kacchan dont xBakusatsujinx: and I'd be All Might xBakusatsujinx: ... xBakusatsujinx: yknow actually i'll just let you imagine the rest ~No Gravity~: aww Densetsu Denki: hey don't leave us hanging _Earphone_Jakku_: You can't do that, Bakugo. Finish your story. Yaoyorozu Momo: The two of you must have gotten along better back then. Alien+Queen: you kissed, didn't you? =3 Deku: how many people did you add to this chat??! Rockman: did you play house and have a bunch of kids GrapesOfWrath: that is Disgusting! Ashido I can't believe you made me imagine that with my own brain ~No Gravity~: most of 1-A. ^^; Sorry! Froppy: Mineta-chan, quit it. _Earphone_Jakku_: /You're/ disgusting, Mineta. Deku: [this kills the man.png] xBakusatsujinx: he's definitely got a thing for All Might though ~No Gravity~: i'm sorry, Deku-kun! ^^; _Earphone_Jakku_: Yeah but who /doesn't/ though? Rockman: bakugo are you just trying to get us to stop thinking about you kissing midoriya? GrapesOfWrath: I DON'T ~No Gravity~: I never meant for this to turn into an... All Fight ~No Gravity~: XD; Yaoyorozu Momo: Nobody ask your opinion, Mineta. Alien+Queen: oh my gosh Ochaco yes GrapesOfWrath: JIRO SAID WHO DOESN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON ALL MIGHT AND I SAID I DONT Densetsu Denki: woah Jiro-chan do you have a crush on all might too? ~No Gravity~: hehe but its quite the All Sight, isn't it? Rockman: capslock abuse, ban him Alien+Queen: it's definitely an impressive chat log! Good thing we're All Tight, or this might turn into no bark and All Bite. =P _Earphone_Jakku_: I mean it's not like a crush really. It's just, he's the world's greatest hero. ~No Gravity~: Ashido, nice! _Earphone_Jakku_: It's not like it's weird if Midoriya does like him. Kinda makes sense. Alien+Queen: thanks! =D I love a good pun. Densetsu Denki: yeah I get that _Earphone_Jakku_: He's a celebrity. Deku: I just wanted to know if anyone finished the homework. T_T GrapesOfWrath: you guys are crazy! Why would anybody like all might? If he was a girl maybe. Froppy: Midoriya-chan's not dead after all. :] Densetsu Denki: you don't have to be shy about it, Midoriya. Alien+Queen: /I'd/ like All Might if he was a girl. wow can you imagine? Rockman: haha mineta but his tits are already bigger than most of the girls in class Densetsu Denki: it's okay if you like All Might, jiro said so. Rockman: maybe you need to change your priorities. GrapesOfWrath: man tits are not the same as girl tits! AT ALL. youre heathens! _Earphone_Jakku_: Yeah, sure. I'll back you up, Midoriya. ~No Gravity~: aww see deku-kun, people don't mind <3 Froppy: Midoriya-chan, I'm on your side. IngeniumX: You should all stop teasing Midoriya-kun. After all, you can't help how you feel sometimes. GrapesOfWrath: I'm leaving, you guys are gross. _Earphone_Jakku_: I'm not teasing. Yaoyorozu Momo: Yes, Iida-kun is right. Midoriya-kun, was there a particular part of the homework you had trouble with? I can PM you about it if you like. Rockman: I bet mineta's having a crisis, thinking about how big All Might's boobs are xBakusatsujinx: I can't believe you're all siding with the nerd. It's npt cute it's annoying. ~No Gravity~: lol yeah, pretty sure they're bigger than mine XD; Densetsu Denki: hey don;t be jealous just becayse Midoriya would rather kiss the hot teacher these days haha IngeniumX: Kaminari-kun, I'm not sure that's entirely appropriate to talk about. Alien+Queen: ooh boy that's an image! IngeniumX: Even if it is true. ~No Gravity~: oh my gosh XDXDXD; Froppy: wow Rockman: haha mineta would be puking right now _Earphone_Jakku_: Lol is it getting a little hot in here? Yaoyorozu Momo: Well. I have to go now. Good night! Deku: [this is fine.gif] ALL MIGHT: Shouldn't you all be heading to bed by now? Densetsu Denki: !! Alien+Queen: omg was he here the whole time?! Froppy: oops XD; Rockman: oh haha hey sensei _Earphone_Jakku_: uh yeah I've gotta go ALL MIGHT: Midoriya, if you need extra help with the homework, you can see me privately after class. ~No Gravity~: ʘ‿ʘ Froppy: wowow _Earphone_Jakku_: Holy shit I'm dying! Densetsu Denki: please don't let us all get detention Rockman: did he even read the rest of the convo? Did he read what he just wrote?? Alien+Queen: THIS IS THE WORST!!! <3 <3 Deku: Okay. Thanks. ^^; _Earphone_Jakku_: he's not even paying attention Alien+Queen: I CAN'T WITH THIS ALL MIGHT: (o^-')b Froppy: cute~ GrapesOfWrath: OH MY GOD I AM CALLING THE COPS ON EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!

#elo fics #bnha #bnha fanfiction #dekumight #chatlog fic #wow I even already got a nice comment on AO3 sweet #I actually had a ridiculous amount of fun writing this #tbh i think mineta was my favorite

14 notes · View notes

getinmypantskbcw · 7 years

Note

33 - 59 B)

33.“Draw me like one of your french girls”. Who most likely to say that?

-Probably Scout, and i would more than likely attack him with a pillow.

34. Who would drive you crazy the most?. Either on adventure or living together?

-OH MY GOD KYLO FUCKING REN. He’s a brat when he wants to be, and I just KNOW he would enjoy the fact that I am so short and just put things up high to harass me.

35. Who would most likely preform a strip show for you?

- Scout. I’m not complaining either.

36. Who would be the most offended if you didn’t cosplay as them for a convention/costume Party?. And who would be the most smug?

- Ronaldo would. But I would ALWAYS agree to a couples cosplay, or just a cosplay in general. I guess for smug, Osomatsu would be?

37. Who would make the best team?

- There is no way I am letting those guys be on a team.

38. Who would most likely to fight with each other?. And who would be most likely to be good friends?

- I think Kylo would fight everyone because he’s Kylo. But Scout and Osomatsu would be friends.

39. Which two faves would be rivals, who would always go against one other in silly contests?

- Again, Scout and Osomatsu. They’re both proud as shit and try to one-up the other.

40. Who would make the most cutest bride? OWO

-Put all of them in wedding gowns. I will be the groom.

41. What five items would you take from five characters, to always be with you?.

- Oso’s wallet, Ronaldo’s shirts, Kylo’s lightsaber, Scout’s dog tags, and I guess I’ll go ahead and take Kylo’s wallet too while I’m at it?

42. Your a pokemon trainer!, what is your pokemon team type?

- I don’t have a set type, but my pokemon are: Espeon, Pikachu, Skitty, Granbull, Misdreavus, and Komala.

43.Who would make a awesome magical girl/boy?

- Ronaldo is the prettiest magical boy.

44. Who is the character you love to hate?

- OSOMATSU

45. Marry, kiss, fuck, sleep, punch, kill?.

- Marry Ronaldo, kiss Jyushi, fuck scout, sleep with Kylo, punch scout, kill osomatsu

46. Who do you think would make the best or worst room mate?

- Honestly? They all suck. Ronaldo would have paperwork everywhere, Jyushi would hog the bed, Oso would be up in my space 24/7, Kylo would break stuff, and Scout would just be a nuisance. But I love them all.

47. Are you a goddess to your many husbands?, do they worship the ground to which you step?

- Editing that typo in the question, I guess so in some cases? I cook and clean for my Matsuno boys, and they love how sweet I am. I’m just a humble potato queen trying to be a good housewife.

48. Your in a final battle to save all your friends!. How will you save them?!. Power of friendship?, Love? or AWESOMENESS?!

- With my love and super magical girl skills.

49. Who would pamper you?, and give you makeovers and such?.

- I’d like to think they all would, but really, it would just be me going to their mothers or siblings for the pampering.

50. What kind of magical girl/boy would you be?

-The Sailor Moon kind, Magical girl warrior. I’d kick serious ass.

51. How would you stop your favourites horrible habit?

- ME? Stop Osomatsu from gambling? NO way, I’d be there trying to get money too. Kylo throwing a tantrum? Catch me walking out on him and him throwing a bigger one. I’d have to talk to him about it.

52. Your favourite has come into this world. How would you help them adapt to this world? and how well would you be able to hide the fact that they are from an other world?. Would they be staying with you?, or would you help them find a place of their own?.

- I’ll do this in a list:

Kylo- He’d get his own place, but I’d have to teach him a lot about this world. He would not like how much people dislike him, and throw bigger fits. I would help him calm down as best as I could. Also, he would have to hide because Adam Driver exists and seeing both would be weird.

Jyushi and Oso- They would be easiest to get into this world, but they need to chill. I’d let them live with me, but I would force them to get jobs.

Ronaldo- Probably the most easy to adapt, he wouldn’t like how boring things get where I live. I’d take him on trips to paranormal locations, and he would enjoy going to conventions with me.

Scout- Mainly easy too, he would just roll with it and let me teach him everything.

53. What would be the best crossover for you?

- I guess TF2 and Star Wars would be hella cool.

54. You encounter your favourite for the first time?. How would your first meeting go?. What would your and their reaction be?

- Again, list mode.

Kylo- In my opinion, I’m a tad bit force sensitive. So yeah, he would notice that and immediately want to know why. He would intimidate me and I would be freaked out.

Ronaldo- GEEKING OUT GEEKING OUT BESTIES

Jyushi- He’d call me pretty, I’d blush, he would probably ask me out

Oso- He’d flirt, i’d slap him. Probably.

Scout- I’d be so shy and sweet, and he would totally ask me out for chicken. I’d be there immediately because I love chicken.

55. What if you suddenly appeared into your favourites world. And they were actually your biggest fan. What would you think? and how would you reaction?

- Okay but? This is literally my plot to my SU story? But Ronaldo doesn’t believe I am really me at first, so he is cautious. And I’m cautious too because what if I leave and don’t get to see him again?

56. Your favourite is about to be attacked, you only have a second to make a quick choice to decide on how to save your fave. Would you jump in the way and take the blow, knowing you could die from it?. Or would you be able to warn them in time?. Or would you freeze helpless as you failed to get in time, so you watch your favourite die?.

-I’d do it, I would save them.

57. What would your wedding be like with one of your favourites?

- List time!

Kylo- Royal wedding, it would be elegant and big and oh who am I kidding, it’s a private wedding and I’d be mad because he didn’t invite my idol, General Leia.

Ronaldo- Beach wedding, fries and chicken for the reception.

Jyushi/Oso- Either wedding would be over the top and give me a migraine that would put me to bed and not let our marriage be consummated.

Scout- We just want to get papers signed and be done with it, but SOMEONE (scouts mom probably) would want us to have a wedding. All the mercs get invited and it’s absolute chaos when I walk out and scout starts crying.

58. Choosing four characters. Which ones would be winter, summer, spring and autumn?.

- Spring: Jyushi, Summer: Scout, Fall: Ronaldo, Winter: Kylo

59. Would you rather bring all your favourites to this world, and be able to be with them. But they bring all the danger and chaos with them?. Or would you rather be able to travel to other worlds using a device, that could possibly break and trap you in one of your faves worlds forever?.

- 100000% I would go to that world. Peace out!

#selfshipping #long post #thanks for the ask #redninetales

2 notes · View notes