#wow this post sure was a lot of effort for one single ask!

[sonicboomseason3]

I have an episode idea!

Ok so basically it’s about Shadow deciding to participate in a game show for some reason (my guess either for ego inflating reasons or a prize of some sort like a large sum of money or an ancient mech), but he doesn’t have anyone to fill out his local edgelord duties for him while he’s gone, he can’t have Sonic fill in for him, heavens no, he thinks Tails is like 3 and too young for the job, Sticks is too insane, Amy too pink I guess? And Knuckles is Knuckles. So who does he ask? Silver the hedgehog (and possibly Mephiles too), hilarity ensues.

ALKSDJLAJLFSJALJ HEY THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE AN IDEA i have some thoughts on how to expand upon this concept...... and so i created what you see below instead of making bullet points like a normal person

(takes place sometime after this post and this post)

. . .

"...and because I'm getting paid below minimum wage at my job, I applied for Veggies Gone Edgy," Shadow finished explaining to his audience.

Team Sonic was baffled. Shadow was standing in front of them, wearing sunglasses and yet another Hawaiian shirt and looking as self-assured as ever despite...everything he had just said. Veggies Gone Edgy? Seriously? That one game show hosted by Comedy Chimp where contestants make weapons out of celery sticks and asparagus and kick each other's butts with them?

"Who're you and what've you done with Shadow?!" Sticks demanded to know, brandishing her boomerang threateningly. The Shadow she knew would never resort to using pea shooters! He would just use regular shooters! "Which android are you?!"

One of Sonic's hands shot out to block her from tackling Shadow. He wasn't in the mood to watch one of his team members die. "Shadow, all I asked was why you were wearing that, and that didn't answer anything."

"It's part of the dress code." Shadow raised his sunglasses to rest upon his brow. "The theme for this episode is summer fun."

Sonic nodded slowly, absorbing the information. Forgive him if he was having a hard time reconciling summer and fun with Shadow the Hedgehog. "Okaaaay... and why are you doing this when you don't have to?"

"I told you, you daft idiot. I'm underpaid."

"I think what Sonic meant," Amy interrupted, "was that you don't actually need any more money. You can afford anything you want with what you currently have. You don't have to pay rent or anything, since you live in a cave."

"That's the great thing about living in nature!" Knuckles grinned before holding up a hand. "High five!"

Shadow smacked it away. Knuckles decided that counted.

"Fine, you got me. The truth is, I'm participating because Infinite, that pathetic, grungy, loser mutt who wears that freak mask to hide his ugly mug, applied in a futile attempt to prove himself as a bigger edgelord than me. I'm going to show him who's boss."

The others had no words.

"But because I'm going to be busy being edgy on set, I won't be around to be edgy around the village. Which is a problem," Shadow mused aloud. "Who else will be around to walk around hating everything? That's why I've called you all here."

"You want one of us to fill in for you?" Tails felt like he was picking up on what Shadow was putting down. "I don't think that's--"

Shadow snorted before he could finish. "Chaos, no. I don't need to even consider it for half a second to know none of you fools can measure up to my presence. I called you all here precisely so I could rub in why you're no good."

"Have you ever thought of considering why your attitude is no good?" Amy hissed.

"Never. For starters, you." He pointed a rude finger at her. "Your color palette is the least edgy thing I've ever seen. You're better off masquerading as a pony in some cartoon about friendship."

"Excuse me?!"

He redirected his attention towards Sticks. "You're not it because I don't need people saying that my substitute swims in the local landfill for sport."

Sticks sighed wistfully. "None of you will ever get it..."

"You, fox, are out of the question." Shadow looked down his nose at Tails. "You're 6 months old."

"I thought you said I was 3."

"So, you admit it."

Tails blinked. "Huh?"

"You admit you're 3."

"What? No. I'm just saying you think I'm--"

"You admit you're 3 months old."

"Three months? Nonono, hold on, when did--"

"As for the echidna..." Shadow trailed off as he peered at Knuckles, who smiled somewhat bashfully under his unreadable gaze. After a brief staring contest, the black hedgehog sighed and quickly moved on to the team's leader. "Last but not least, Sonic, you seem like the best option, but..."

"...But...?" Sonic prompted.

"I don't like you."

Sonic resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I saw that coming."

"And people confuse us to be each other enough already," Shadow added. "I don't know why, considering we look nothing alike."

Sonic nodded, a gesture that indicated surprisingly genuine agreement. "Yeah, that's always been annoying. That's a pretty valid reason, actually."

"Speak for yourself." Tails was still pretty put out over how Shadow was under the impression that he was aging backwards. Which was literally impossible, by the way. "If none of us are good enough for you, then who is?"

"No one is. Don't ask stupid questions," Shadow replied. "I know when to settle for less when I have to, though, so I have no choice but to ask someone outside of our usual circle."

Before anyone could ask him to explain himself, he starts making a beeline for the door.

Amy's eyes followed his retreating form. "Where are you going?"

"To destroy the world."

Team Sonic spent no more than 2 seconds freaking out over this blunt admission and getting their weapons out before a portal opened above them and dropped a familiar face in between them and Shadow, who stopped walking as soon as he heard the sound behind him. Still, he didn't turn around.

"Shadow the Hedgehog!" Silver glared, skipping all pleasantries. "I'm from a future where you destroyed the world and I somehow still exist even though my planet doesn't! I plan on stopping you, no matter what!"

"Ah, just the one I was looking for."

He faltered slightly at those unexpected words, but he refused to drop his battle stance completely. "Excuse me?"

"I need you to fill in for my edginess while I'm off participating in a game show." Shadow finally turned around to look him in the eye. "It's imperative that you succeed."

"Wh... Okay, I don't understand a word of what you just said, but why would I help you when you destroyed my world?!" Silver shouted.

"Do this, and your world will be safe."

"Shadow, you did not just create a whole timeline where you destroyed the world only so you could summon Silver here to act like you." Sonic was the first to break the stunned silence that befell his entire group. He couldn't believe this... Actually, never mind, he could. Shadow would do this. He would. "You really couldn't pick someone from the village in our time?"

"Do you think I can rely on any of those nitwits?" Shadow shot back.

"Do you think you can rely on Silver?" Sonic paused before turning to the newcomer. "No offense."

"None taken, but if this will really save the future..." Silver took a deep breath. Shadow wanted him to act edgy, did he? He still didn't get why, but he had a feeling that he shouldn't ask for more context. The Hawaiian shirt was already a red flag by itself. Lowering his voice in a poor attempt at emulating Shadow's own, he exclaimed, "It's no use!"

Sticks could detect any lame, overused meme from a mile away. "You're not funny," she told him, though her words were mainly aimed at the author who had just made him say such things.

"Ah, sorry..."

"We'll work on it. You just need to be in the correct mindset first." Shadow grabbed his soon-to-be replacement by the arm. "I'm taking you to get a dye job. I'm sure it'll help with everything else."

Before anyone could protest, the two of them teleported away in a flash of blue light.

"Guys..."

Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Sticks turned to face Knuckles.

"The more we interact with Shadow, the more I feel embarrassed to know him."

The others found that they shared the sentiment.

[mantisgodiveblog]

Twenty whole posts! Wow! The big two-oh! That is A Lot of posts for a liveblog that's still on Act Two Of Six and only on Loop Two! Let's call this a milestone. Our backup document for the text of this liveblog currently logs at around 30k words, and we ain't getting any less wordy. Now, let's get back to it, shall we?

(Part 19 is here)

We are, of course, starting with this beautiful piece of flavor text. Considering how many times we double back on ourself and have multiple characters occupying the same space, we kind of wonder how that looks in-universe. Less overlapping, we assume. It's probably less pathfinding work to do it this way but the fact that this, too, is more literal than originally assumed, is... very good.

We're walking in file. Organized. It seems strategically unsound to do this instead of grouping up so we can have things like actual battle positions that are not a line vulnerable to attack in almost any direction but it is funny to imagine.

Dialogue for selecting "creepy" - same exact spy dialogue as every other Sadness in this particular set. This one reminds us of a turtle.

...skipping straight from III to Alpha V? Seems odd to us, but okay.

And - well, we've been running into these destroyed statues enough that we feel we have to ask. Did the King just go through the House and smash every single Change God statue in here? That seems like a lot of effort for apocryphal depictions. Do you have some sort of superstition thing going on or something? Are you afraid that having a Change God watching will disrupt your unchanging time stop? Surely, there are better ways to do this.

...then again, we're talking to the guy who chose to set up his unchanging, time-stopped reign in a House Of Change, so maybe he just has some religious problems going on. Doesn't seem very fond of the Change God, regardless.

Is it a crime to steal from the House if everyone inside is frozen? We say no. They're not using it. When they get unfrozen, it might count, though. For more steaming hot takes on morality, follow our BandCamp.

Intended for us, clearly. We can find no reason that we would be any less romantically viable than the intended recipient. Besides the fact that we're aro, of course. We're always open to love confessions, we just don't have enough romance in us to love you back the same. Or enough general allo-ness, actually. You know how it is.

[the-down-upside-finch]

✨️Important News✨️

I hath opened commissions!

If you are interested in commissioning me, thank you from the bottom of my heart! Please read below for more details, and then go ahead and let me know with a comment or email! (We can also chat over Discord or Tumblr DMs)

Oh, wow, you hit the read more! Thank you for your interest! Okay, here are some things to keep in mind about my commissions:

☆ These are my character price sheets! I am not currently doing landscape commissions, but if you want a scene or background, we can definitely work that out!

☆ Payment is half up-front, then the rest when the piece is halfway complete.* (I currently accept payment through Venmo, and I will have my Ko-fi up and running soon.)

☆ I love drawing OCs, but I'm not limited to them! As long as I have refs, I can draw! (And I accept both written and drawn refs.**)

☆ I tend to draw on ~900×1200px canvases, so please let me know if you have a different size in mind!

☆ I currently cannot (and will not try to) draw the following:

Extreme gore/extremely bloody content (although I am okay to draw minor scrapes and whatnot)

Anything specifically meant to be sexually gratifying -- (Basically, NSFW stuff is a no! It's just not my sort of thing.)

Mechs/other robotic machines -- (The reason I won't draw mechs is because the current amount of effort I have to put into it is not a price I want to dangle in front of people. If you really want me to draw mech stuff, please reach out to me and we can talk about it and my current pricing!)

Anthropomorphic animals -- (I'm sorry, but I'm just not good at this yet! I don't want to be unable to deliver good art.) -- (This is different than humanoids with animal features! I'm better at drawing those.)

OCD triggers -- (for me, this includes needles and insects)

If you aren't sure whether or not something is within my realm of work, please ask me! I promise I won't be mean about it.

If you want to see some more examples of what I can do, please check out this page for specifics!

Thank you for scrolling all the way down here! I really appreciate your interest.

Here are the embedded images for potential higher quality:

The additional notes on the price sheets are as follows:

Both a color-coded & black-line version will be provided for uncolored sketches!

Please note that prices will vary based on complexity/level of detail

Simple glowy effects are free! Complex ones average an extra 3 USD.

(Referencing the bust and waist-up prices) Prices may vary depending on arm placement!

Colored sketches will not be "shaded", and coloring is loose (can go outside the lines)

Uncolored clean/detailed pieces can be filled gray or left white!

Colored clean/detailed piece will include appropriate shading, but there are options to choose from!

Things to note: -- Additional characters in a single commissioned scene will have a 40% discount. -- I will default to a solid gray background unless told otherwise! -- Complicated poses, props, and/or complex color palettes will increase the price!

Once again, thank you for your interest, and sorry for this insanely long post!

*If you would like to pay entirely upfront, that is perfectly fine!

**If you don’t have colored/a lot of refs, that’s okay! I will work with you during the sketching and coloring process to make sure I am drawing the character the way you want.

[kiisaes]

Hey! So I read your post about my hero academia, the one where you talked about having a weird fatherly connections towards it and I wanted to ask you about what aspects you don’t like about the series? I share a lot of your sentiments but I do think it’s probably more than mid series? A lot of the details and writing I like and I think is considerable better than other shounen mangas. Anyways sorry for rambling. I just wanted to know what aspects you liked on the series and the ones you didn’t like.

Also complete side note: I absolutely love you’re art it’s so beautiful you’re and really skilled drawer!

sure! and thank u anon!

i want to preface this by saying that everything here is my opinion. media analysis is inherently subjective and something i think is bad might be something you think is good. considering how mha is not a shounen that's universally applauded for any or all of its writing choices, it's expected that you and i may perceive this content differently. doesn't mean i'm right and you're wrong and vice versa, it's just a different individual take on the source content.

also, even though i think mha is "mid to mid-good" (as quoted from my textpost) i don't use "mid" as either an insult or in a "it's so average it's bad" way. i know that word has been fucked over bc ppl automatically assume that something being mid means something is bad or bland or boring. it's a middle of the road series with a good share of flaws and strengths, and it doesn't particularly stand out as anything incredibly amazing or awful. just an average to decently good story, and its level of quality fluctuates throughout its run.

at the end of the day, i do like mha. despite what i think of it, it's a series i hold close to my heart and one i can enjoy even without a critical eye. if i didn't, i wouldn't have been making content for it for 2, almost 3 consistent years.

anyway, stuff i like + stuff i don't like under the cut: (warning: VERY LONG)

mha stuff i do like:

deku. he is my little boy

for the most part, horikoshi's character writing is one of his strongest abilities. characters like bakugou, shigaraki, and dabi (and honestly the todoroki family as a unit) are some of the most compelling characters in a story like this. they're allowed to be complex, dynamic and a blend of virtuous and damning traits. they match the overall themes of mha, which is that the sheer concept of "good vs evil" is surface level at best, and that placing people into strict boxes blocks them from everything else that they are. basically a complete "fuck you" to viewers who must condemn a morally grey hero/villain, for example. even less morally grey characters like ochako (imo) are still fun twists and explorations on their given character stereotypes. however i'm obligated to say "for the most part" because hori's superb character writing only matters when he gives those characters time to breathe and actually exist. i'll get into this more later

horikoshi's art is fantastic and undoubtedly his greatest attribute as a mangaka. i firmly believe that, as far as shounen art goes, there aren't any that can rival mha that are also at its global reach. there's never a single moment where i read a chapter and go "wow that art wasn't incredible" because that's not possible. he utilizes his art knowledge so effortlessly and brings out so much in every panel he makes. the manga art never feels dull. i'm so insanely jealous and in awe of him. i guess i could be biased when making this point but i find it hard to genuinely hate his art. it's so polished every time

this is a smaller point that adds to the last one but i do appreciate how he draws women. not when he's using them for uncomfortable gags, but just in general. there's like, actual meat on their bones. they have realistic body proportions (for his style). many of the women are "chubbier" than other shounen women, and a good amount of them are buff as FUCK. it feels like hori puts the same amount of effort into drawing his female characters as he does his male characters, even if he might not dignify that writing-wise

as a fellow comic artist, i absolutely love his understanding of comic language. it's small details like his onomatopoeia reminiscent of western superhero comics that really tie the presentation together. each panel is full of life, with characters and backgrounds working together in the most effective ways. i can't remember what tumblr textpost brought this up, but he also loves playing around with panel borders. he spices them up by using different subjects or objects to split up panels. and this was more of a strength earlier in the series imo, but his pacing was also pretty quick and resourceful. it shows to me that he truly loves creating manga and knows when it's the right time to visually deviate from the norm. again, i'm truly envious of how he can do this. i only hope to reach his level someday ...

this is definitely a biased point, but some of the series' arcs/storylines are some of my favorite ones in fiction. these include the tournament arc, the kamino rescue arc, the overhaul arc, twice's death, and anything relating to the todoroki family. obviously i'm only listing a handful of examples here because i think nearly every arc has its good moments that i can comment on. but when i think of good mha storylines, i think of these first

i also think that mha as a whole is a fun series that knows how to laugh at itself. there's nothing more awkward than a story that takes itself way too seriously, but the content itself is poorly written or not interesting. thankfully, horikoshi doesn't really fall into this issue

there are canon lgbt characters in this series. even if that's kind of a low bar atp (considering how only 1 out of the 3 play a consistently important role), a win is a win is a win. especially in mainstream shounen, beggars can't exactly be choosers.

mha is a story about systemic societal injustice, which is a lofty concept to tackle. thankfully the story is about powers being the norm so the whole "i'm born better than you because i have abilities" is less of a status quo rejection and more of a status quo enabler. as a story concept, it's a good basis, doesn't seem too hard to comprehend, and opens the door for nuanced storytelling and discussion. i think hori does this well at the start of the series. but as the story goes on... uhhh. i'll talk about it.

mha stuff i don't like:

man do these women have basically nothing interesting to do. i complimented how they're drawn earlier, but with the exception of a few notable ones, a lot of their characters pale in comparison to the men. it's even sadder considering that the amount of women in mha is significantly lesser than, so 5 important female characters is like, 1/4 of the female cast. 5 important male characters is like, 1/12 of the male cast. idk i didn't count the amount of characters in this series but it sincerely feels this way, especially if you remember that there are definitely more than 5 important male characters at any moment throughout this series. and when female characters do have their time to shine, there's a 50/50 chance that they die, get gravely injured, or lose limbs. which normally isn't an issue in a battle shounen like mha, but out of the important character deaths in this series, a fair amount of them are women. midnight, magne, and star and stripe have pretty anticlimactic deaths too, to add insult to injury. lady nagant talked her shit then exploded. she's still alive but like ... what? did these characters have to be treated this way? i can't really think of any important male characters who get introduced then axed from the story like this, except for maybe stain (though he's a far more important character narratively). the reason why i bring up this really lengthy point is not because i think horikoshi is actively misogynistic. i just think he falls into the trap that many shounen mangakas face, which is that male characters are more interesting to a male dominated audience. hence, female characters usually get thrown to the side. there are some important women in mha that stand toe to toe with male characters, like toga and ochako, and there are definitely certified girlbosses like mirko and yaoyorozu. but god do i wish i could add more women to this list without having to think really really hard.

and to add onto the previous, shallow, unimportant characters only gain backstories when the narrative demands for it. horikoshi used to write characters revealing their intentions and history in relatively natural ways, like with ochako and her goal to become a hero for money. it kind of came out of nowhere, but it's a valid conversation a teenager would have with other teenagers. in context, it was revealed normally. i'm not sure when these reveals turned forced, but i remember seeing kirishima's backstory and being like "well .. would this have ever been told to us if kirishima wasn't a main character in this arc?" this isn't against kirishima's character; i love the guy and i think his history was short but contextualized his personality really well. but with the recent shoji backstory reveal i could only think, "wow. horikoshi must be really glad he made a mutant character to project this theme onto, huh." it didn't feel like shoji was ever meant to have a backstory — not to mention a very depressing one — but he got one this late in the series run because it was convenient for the plot. perhaps i'm a cynic and this isn't an issue for others, idk. that being said, i think characters like shoji and even star and stripe and lady nagant could have benefited from more natural character developments, maybe with more time given so it doesn't feel like a weirdly convenient reveal.

i just really fucking wish mineta would die already. like get kicked into the sun or blown up with TNT or run over by a car or something. he's less of an openly creepy loser than he was in the beginning of the series, but i'm sure that's because he literally doesn't have the luxury to be creepy at the moment. he's one of the least appealing gag characters that never grows and changes as a person. and he got a backstory before kaminari. can you fucking believe this shit? why does horikoshi keep entertaining this bullshittery— oh yeah. i just remembered that the girls were perved on quite a bit in this series, which wasn't funny and moreso uncomfortable for a lot of readers. like, i know it's shounen, it's animanga, fanservice is kind of the unfortunate norm. but by god, do we need a series poster child for pervy, male-gaze behavior?

i commented earlier about mha's themes and that i think, at least at the start, hori had a good grasp of what he was writing. framing society's systemic flaws and failures in a wacky superheroes vs villains story is not only clever, but makes this actually serious topic accessible to those who might think social-cultural politics are too intimidating. he sets this up starting from deku and bakugou (oppressed and privileged), then adds onto it with stain (heroes who retain the status quo by seeking money and status are not true heroes, because they don't help those in need). shigaraki is thrown into the mix along the way (society fucks over the underprivileged, even those who want to do good, which breeds more villains and in the real world, more criminals) and his little league of villains all have their own stories (spinner: those who don't look like the masses are cast aside, harassed and villainized; dabi: if you don't live up to cruel expectations established by society and parroted by those in your life, you might as well be worthless; toga: any unconventional worldviews and actions are deemed scary and evil; magne: trying to conform to a rigid society as a queer person is fucking hard, man). there's also endeavor (even though you're in a position of power and respect, it doesn't automatically make you a good person). these are all GREAT, and are super compelling set-ups for mha's overall themes: that society should change somewhat, villains are a product of this flawed system, there aren't fully good people nor fully bad people, rehabilitation/growth is good, and true heroes aren't identified by title, but by actions.

these themes are quite apparent throughout mha's entire run. but i feel like the further it goes, the less horikoshi knows how to verbalize them. the latest mini arc dealt with spinner vs shoji in a strangely awkward clash of ideals. spinner is seen as a martyr who really just wants mutants to be accepted into society, and his status rallies up those who have also been hurt. shoji retaliates by... telling them to stop? by saying this isn't the right way? because he was fortunate enough to be in this position, he suddenly has the authority to tell those like him to find a better way to get their voices heard? what, should they all just become heroes? haven't we established that the society they all belong in is fucked up, and that drastic change must be made? i understand what horikoshi is trying to say but it's... off. like the point is there, but the execution is clumsy. shoji even says something like spinner's revolution setting them back 30 years, which is so fucking bizarre to say, and would certainly raise eyebrows in the real world. it sounds like villains can express their grievances with society but they can't dare revolutionize. otherwise, they'll be silenced/ignored again. it's the whole "violence breeds more violence" belief, but there's more to that that should be explored. man, i dunno.

i'm harping on this one story instance but recent mha is riddled with well-meaning but clumsy storytelling like this. and since the narrative relies on these complex, nuanced themes, it's jarring when the nuance falls through. if mha is about breaking harmful norms, why do they still dictate the execution? hori did it so right with deku and bakugou, their relationship being a definite high in the series. but i truly don't how he'll treat the villains at the end of this arc

ok tumblr's telling me to shut up anyway these are my thoughts. again, even though i've rambled so much about my dislikes, i think mha is still a fun and enjoyable series. it misses the point sometimes, but it doesn't detract from its successes. either way my opinions should not rule over how you consume the series. it's always important to form your own opinions!!!

[20dollarlolita]

Just some post-con thoughts about new people in the lolita community.

Anime and comic conventions are a really cool environment, where wearing unique or unconventional clothing is more common than your everyday clothing.

People use this environment different ways. For many of us, it was the first time we saw or the first time we tried to wear lolita fashion. Lolita isn't cosplay, but an environment where no one is going to ask, "wow, what the fuck are you wearing?" is an environment that a lot of people use to try out lolita for the first time. And if you're at a convention, no matter how established you are in lolita, it's important to remember that for many people, this is their first time wearing lolita fashion or lolita-adjacent fashion.

I've said before and I will maintain that you should not offer concrit at a convention to someone you don't know. If you don't have something nice to say about their look, you shouldn't be saying anything about their look. A lot of people are there to have fun, try something new, and maybe see if they like this fashion. There's a lot of people in coords that they call lolita that don't even barely fit the definition.

And that's fine. It's really, completely fine.

I've once been told, "you need to ask yourself, am I acting like this person has wronged me, when in fact they are just simply wrong?" Is someone's bad lolita attempt actually harming you? Or is it just not a good example of lolita fashion?

Okay, "But they make me look bad when they--" Wow, okay, I'm sorry that your coord is so shoddy that someone else doing it badly sucks all the goodness out of your coord and makes you bad. Maybe you should make a better coord that doesn't start sucking just because someone's wearing that And Romeo replica. Maybe if you wore lolita better then you wouldn't feel threatened by someone in Milanoo.

I have no patience for that argument.

If someone is genuinely misrepresenting your art, yeah, say something. Shout out to my friend who organized an army of lolita-wearers to go up to one booth at Fanime and demand that they take the "lolita" tag off their panties that said "daddy" on them. That was quite epic. If your portrayal of lolita is actively harmful to the community that's one thing, But if someone just doesn't look 100% their best? Are they wronging you, or do you just think they're wrong?

If I was going to indulge that argument that someone's bad representation of lolita hurts you in the real world, for just a single sentence? Even if that's so, most people wearing coordinates at conventions never wear them anywhere else. So. You can't even say that they're making you look bad in the real world when you'll never see them in the real world. So maybe that argument doesn't really work anyway.

Ask yourself the effort test: Did this person put enough effort into this coordinate that they could have made a good one, if they'd been directed in the right way? Did someone work really hard on this look and just fucked it up because they didn't have a lolita mentor to steer their online fingers away from Diamond Honey's questionable things?

If they didn't, that's ALSO FINE. It's a con! People are there to have FUN! But if they did put in effort, pay attention to that. Maybe this is a person who did it wrong, and who just didn't know everything you know. Is it better for you to provide resources and help them try better next time, or to crap talk them so that they don't try next time?

If one bad coord impacts the community such to the point that it's okay to hate it just because it wasn't up to your standards, then what have you done for the community to make sure that people can achieve your standards? If a bad coord hurts you, tell me what you've done to help people not make bad coords. How have you shared the information of good coordinate-making with the newbie lolita community.

People get interested in the lolita rules and guidelines because they are interested in lolita. People stay interested in lolita because people offer them encouragement and include them. If you see someone in a bad coord and you say, "Wow, in three years, she's going to be so utterly embarrassed by that look," then don't shoot her down. Give her a chance to stay in the fashion for three years and be embarrassed about her past. Don't boot her out now.

To their face, behind their back, whatever; if you bring yourself up by bringing other people down, I have some amazing news for you, and that's that you don't have to be that way and life is a lot more fun when you aren't that way.

Or, if we want to bring back a classic:

it's okay to not like people's coords at the anime con it's okay but don't be a dick about it it's okay to not like coords, but don't be a dick about the coords you don't like.

[wicked-jade]

✨ or 🦋 or 🕯️

Thank you so much for the asks!! 💖💖💖

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

I feel like most of my LawRusso fics get plenty of attention, so I'd probably say my Dutch/Johnny series. Because it's lonely shipping a rare pair, lol. And I'm delighted whenever someone joins me in my little sandbox. That series is near and dear to my heart, I've put a lot of time and effort into it. If I was going to single out a specific fic, I'd probably say either Love Me Mercilessly or tape ain't gonna fix it. I'm really proud of both of those stories, and they're sort of the backbone of that entire universe.

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

I'm always worried that my fics are boring or repetitive. As we've established, there's not a whole lot of action in my stories. 😂 Even though my favorite stories tend to be action-oriented. So I look at my own work and just think - wow, nothing is happening. Who's gonna want to read this?

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

I mean, there can really only be one answer to this one. "If It Wasn't For Bad Luck." That fic was a fucking journey, let me tell you. 😂 It was supposed to just be a fun, holiday oneshot, and ended up being...that. God, that fic was an emotional rollercoaster, in more ways than one. I had to take a lot of breaks, especially after the more upsetting/emotional chapters. And I got hit with writer's block more than once. Honestly, I'm not sure any fic I'll ever write will quite match that experience.

[stillness-in-green]

Hi! I just found your blog and I love your takes on Mha and the villains. I really appreciated how you pointed out the double standards of those who are hating on Geten for his allegedly eugenicist beliefs but then it's crickets when Dabi arbitrarily kills everyone he deems trash. And I'm saying this as a Dabi stan. You can dislike a chara for whatever reason, but bashing one while coddling the other who's got a very similar mindset and has done objectively worse is plain hypocritical. Criticism should be fair. I wonder how much more vitriol Geten would have gotten if he was confirmed a woman instead of a conventionally attractive guy though

Thanks, anon!

(More placed under a cut in deference to people who are perhaps tired of my harping on this topic.)

Yeah, like, to be as fair as I can manage, there is a very concrete difference between Dabi murdering random people in alleys for what boil down to personal reasons, not under any group’s auspices, and Geten espousing a set of beliefs that he thinks his group wants to implement on a nationwide scale.  That's true and fair, and a distinction worth preserving regardless of one's opinions on the characters' specific actions.

What really bugs me, though, is the total double standard in how much effort goes into making every excuse imaginable for Dabi, poring over every panel to find the single most generous interpretation of his words and actions, while Geten (and the MLA, and the non-League villains in general) get these sneering, off-the-cuff dismissals that tacitly refuse to consider any mitigating circumstances whatsoever.

Like, wow, okay, Dabi was brought up in an abusive home!  He all but burned himself alive at thirteen!  How sympathetic!  But Geten was raised in a cult, and that will fuck a kid up too.  So maybe it’d be nice to see people remotely as willing to try and understand why Geten is Like That as they are to dig up all the Psychology 101 buzzwords to deflect blame for all Dabi's murders and blatant sadism.  For people so adamant about not taking Dabi at face value, they sure are willing to accept everything Geten says as 100% fact, despite the wild discrepancies that surface the instant you start trying to apply Geten’s views to the MLA at large.

As for if Geten had actually been revealed as a woman?  Well, I wish he had been, honestly; I loved Worst Girl Geten for the couple of months we thought we had her.  But I do 100% believe the vitriol would have been even worse.

Anyway, maybe one of these days I’ll actually write up the full stand-alone post on the MLA and Geten and quirk supremacy—I’ve talked about it a lot before, but always buried in posts about other topics, and it’d be nice to have something I could just link to that’d be a stand-alone post on the topic.  Until then, though, I think I’ve about said my piece on fandom’s Bad Geten/MLA Takes.  The vagueblogging is wearying in ways just focusing on the canon and my own transformative efforts are not.  But thanks for the ask, anon!  Rest assured; this space will continue to be a Geten Appreciation Zone.

[dark-arts-and-crafts-universe]

A Dying Art (Chapter 17)

A Dying Art

Lorcan Verdigris is a time wizard, a misanthrope, and a single father to a household of magically-sentient furniture.

Lorcan Verdigris is not a necromancer. Anymore. But when the leader of the  local necro coven comes to him with a request he really, really can’t  refuse, past collides with present and he finds himself back in a world  he’d tried to leave behind. Someone is trying to steal a powerful  magical artifact, one whose destruction could unleash chaos upon the  city. Or save it from an even greater danger. Or do nothing at all. Who  knows. See, this is exactly why Lorcan stopped messing with the stuff.

Unfortunately,  one way or another, Lorcan’s the one stuck dealing with it. He’d like  to say this is a challenge that will take all his magic and his  ingenuity to overcome, but let’s be real, stopping this threat will take  something even more dire: actual effort. At least he’s getting paid  this time…

Previous | Table of Contents

Chapter 17: What Remains

Word count: 3,618

Content warnings: no major content warnings

So this is the last chapter of A Dying Art! I’ve been really nervous about posting this, wanted to make sure it was as good as it could be to end the story strong. I do plan to write more with these characters and universe (because wow is there a lot more story to tell) but this work represents the first major chunk of Lorcan’s arc. If you’ve stuck around until the end, thank you so much! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it.

-

Osiris did live up to their promise to pay him if he survived. They even threw in extra to cover expenses. Lorcan got the letter in his mail five days after the mall battle–he almost didn’t check until the kids pestered him about it. Alongside the cash was another message. It read: Darken my GameStop one more time, Lorcan Verdigris.

The normal people were definitely staring when Lorcan entered the mall. He couldn’t blame them–he’d found a big stick in the small patch of grass outside and was regularly jabbing it into the walls on the off-chance something started breathing. He tossed five rocks onto the escalator before deciding it was (probably) safe.

Of course, if the mall was still evil and liminal, his time sense would be killing him again and everything there was comfortably usual. So. His slipshod plan had worked, then. The scenesters hadn’t connected the mall dimension back to their plane of existence, and Osiris hadn’t taken the space for themselves. Maybe this incident wasn’t entirely over, but some things were back to the way they’d been.

“You did not bring your familiar this time,” Osiris’s voice greeted Lorcan as he stepped into the shop.

“Well, fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice and I really will irradiate you to death.”

“We see,” they said, then: “That was not Dexter’s death curse.”

If Lorcan was a little bit snippy, it was because he was still catching up on sleep from the week before. He ran a hand through his hair, then asked, “Did you summon me to your shop to say things we both already knew?”

Because, duh. Dexter Young would never bury anything important in a place he and Lorcan had explored together. His trust extended just far enough to let him help with the mostly-useless first attempt, ten years ago.

But, “The prototype looked close enough to fool the others.”

“Not us, however.”

Yes. Osiris had all of Dexter’s memories. That was how that worked.

“I didn’t need to fool you,” he told them. “I just needed to get you in a position where it benefitted you to play along. The fight had been going long enough I figured you’d want it stalled, if nothing else.”

And they nodded slowly, like Lorcan had given them something they needed. “An intriguing gambit.”

There was almost a note of respect in their voice–exactly what Lorcan had hoped wasn’t going to happen. Aside from the ethical implications…he’d only been able to get the drop on Osiris because they’d underestimated him. He would bet that wasn’t going to happen in the future.

“Not without its consequences, of course,” the Crown said, probably thinking the same. “What you gained from the ploy must have been worth the risk.”

Not this again, Lorcan thought, pretending very suddenly to be interested in one video game on the shelf in front of him about…cars? “I thought my demands were clear enough. My son, and the petty, fleeting thrill of victory symbolized by a pair of overpriced shoes.”

Osiris let out a hum.

Before that hum could turn into a barbed comment, or worse a question, he added, “So I guess you won the fight, then? I mean, this place looks less hell-dimension than last time.”

He couldn’t say things seemed entirely normal–he was studiously avoiding the new, very artistic posters the Crown had added to the decor since last time–but it was still Osiris’s store, so he had to assume things had worked out for them.

“More or less,” they answered, with a tilt of their head. “After your…outburst, you could say the adrenaline of the moment had dimmed. The Dominion sought respite for their injuries–”

“Who the fuck is the Dominion?”

“The ‘scene crowd’. Their collective nom de guerre,” Osiris told him. They frowned. “They had a monologue about it when the fight began. Were you not there for that?”

“No, I was busy being left for dead,” he said.

“Ah.” They gave it a second’s thought and moved on, “The Dominion broke to in-fighting soon after you left–petty complaints about being ‘frightened’ and ‘dying’. It was as if they had not yet considered murdering a powerful necromancer might involve some degree of personal consequence. We know that you would never be so foolish.”

And Lorcan flinched at that, because it was true in exactly the way he didn’t want Osiris to think about. “They seemed pretty young,” he offered.

“In years, they did not differ much from you. In maturity…” They nodded once. “Their worldview is very much marked by youth: the old is worthless, everything must be fresh, new.”

“...like the New Osiris?”

A scowl. “That was part of the monologue, yes. A quite vainglorious sobriquet–the name Osiris is not for any common ruler to claim. It belonged to a truly admirable individual.”

Lorcan did not resist the urge to roll his eyes. “You know,” he drawled, “some people would pretend to be humble.”

The look of unamusement on Osiris’s face was expected. But it seemed different from usual. Somehow more solemn. “We mean the first Osiris. Contrary to popular belief, we chose the name out of respect.”

He turned that over in his head. The first necromancer in the area to call himself Osiris was before Lorcan’s time. But he did know the stories. “He convinced his enemies to merge their covens together,” he said, working through the thought. “No enchantments–supposedly–no shows of force. Just words and charisma.”

“Osiris the First achieved through will alone what for others required powerful magic.”

“And you…admire that?” he had to ask. Osiris (the Second) did value hard work, and skills separate from magic. The GameStop was proof of that.

What Osiris (the Second) didn’t bother with was charisma. Needing people, trusting people–Lorcan had seen their lip literally curl enough to know their disgust at the thought. The necromancer souls that made up the gestalt had needed people, and they’d failed to achieve anything close to the first Osiris. He’d think, with their ego, that would more likely lead to envy.

“You admire someone,” he repeated.

“We do have a heart, Verdigris,” they said. “On occasion it is capable of positive emotion.”

“So is this–” Lorcan pointed at himself, then the Crown, and the store. “--one of those rare moments of gratitude, then? Because I saved your ass back in that fight?”

There was the lip. “Whatever minor assistance you rendered was, truly, unnecessary in the grander scheme of things.” They paused. “But, as the opportunity did arise, we decided acquiescing to a momentary stalemate would allow us to allocate our remaining stamina for this upcoming shift. Besides which, the ritual circle had been damaged in the battle somehow.”

“Oh?”

“The liminal death dimension still exists,” Osiris explained, “but its connection to our own plane has been frayed. A new bridge would need to be built before the space is again usable.”

Little victories, Lorcan thought.

“As for the physical Spirit Halloween in this mall,” they continued. “It has vanished as quickly as it appeared. A front the entire time, we assume.”

Osiris let out a small huff of breath, not quite a sigh. It was still more defeated than Lorcan had ever seen them. “A clean victory would have been preferable, though it seems this time that was not quite possible.”

And for a moment, Lorcan could feel a sense of kinship with the wistfulness in the Crown’s voice.

“Things keep happening.” He looked down at his hands. “You don’t want to be the one who has to handle them. But you’re the one who’s there and that means it’s up to you. It sucks.”

“Indeed. ‘Uneasy lies the head that wears the’…” They trailed off mid-quote, and pointed to their crown upon their head. A soft, halfway-chuckle slipped out of their mouth. “True rest escapes us still. The Dominion’s fiendish accountancy knows few bounds.”

“I thought you’d have dealt with that by now.”

“You know as well as we that the advent of online shopping was the dagger in the metaphorical intestine of the American mall,” they informed him. “It bleeds slow, but death is certain.” Sad silhouettes of signage flashed into Lorcan’s mind. Empty halls and dusty floors.

“The only locations turning a profit at this complex are this GameStop and–” Osiris let out a disgusted shudder. “--the Hot Topic. Pre-orders alone may not be enough. We will likely need to devote even greater attention to this job simply to hold the line. We may even have to cut down on our extracurricular murders.”

Hm. “That’s rough.”

“Yes. We must all make sacrifices in this trying time.” Then, after a pause, “Or rather, some of us must make fewer sacrifices. But the time of separating business from magic, at least, is at an end.”

Lorcan wouldn’t say no to less extracurricular murder, but it was overall a somber statement. A lot of necromantic status quo in the area was going to get upheaved. It might, emphasis on might, work out better for the locals for a new enemy to distract Osiris’s attention. But there was a lot of new room for innocents to get caught in the crossfire.

It had been the same way back before the Crown had merged into a necromantic gestalt, and Lorcan didn’t know what he, as one mid-tier wizard, could do to stop it.

“You did not answer our question, Verdigris.”

They were doing this, then? They were really doing this. “I’m pretty sure I did, actually,” he said. Argumentative, but there was no helping that.

“We wish to hear why you did what you did that night.”

“You know damn well why,” Lorcan snapped. “Is it really so confusing I might want to protect my children? My children who I love?”

“Perhaps.” Osiris raised an eyebrow. “It is such a feeble, human emotion, after all.”

Yeah, he didn’t buy that. “I’ve heard you do have a heart on occasion.”

It was too easy an answer: the evil, inhuman villain who does evil things because they don’t feel love. Better than admitting your old friend had just stopped caring. No, for all Osiris insisted they were no longer mortal and weak, their evil was human enough. Something about the specifics of Lorcan’s family did seem to be tripping up their inestimable wisdom. But it wasn’t that.

Osiris liked to avoid emotion. Lorcan knew firsthand that didn’t stop you from feeling it.

“And you know what,” he threw out like a challenge, “you never answered my question: did you call me here just to talk about things we both already know?”

The words were more confident than he felt, and Osiris stared at him, eyes piercing, stance sure. Lorcan tried not to shift, not to fidget. Whatever they were looking for, they were only going to see what he’d already explained. For a moment, he could see hesitation flickering in the dark of their eye.

When the Crown finally spoke, they said, “Dexter was surprised when you began calling yourself a father.”

And how could Lorcan respond to that except, “I was, too.” It was a vulnerable admission, and for once, Osiris didn’t press their advantage.

The feeling in the silence that fell prickled at his neck. It was almost like…uncertain smalltalk back in Belial’s tattoo parlor. A kind of verbal joust he still didn’t know the rules for. He was missing something big, he just didn’t know what. So there was a moment of relief when the door to the back of the shop opened, enough that he didn’t think to question who could be coming out of it.

There had to be wards hiding Jennifer Lynn’s shimmering spectral form from non-magical eyes. Even in a dying mall, there were too many people who would notice a translucent woman carrying a stack of games to the shelves like she was any normal employee. It was a sign of the upheaval Lorcan had been the unwitting architect of, he thought with a sinking heart. The days of the Crown Osiris’s GameStop being a place safe from magic were over.

Then he saw the person standing behind Jennifer Lynn.

Necromancy made a lot of common idioms hard to say with a straight face. So for Lorcan to say that spotting Kyle, in the flesh, carrying a stack of video games was like ‘seeing a ghost’--well, there was a ghost right in front of him. This was more shocking.

“You are staring,” Osiris noted.

“I’m just surprised to see him still–” Alive. “–employed.”

“Clearly we overestimated his ability to lead independently of our instruction,” they said. “It does not matter. We have long been in need of a footman whom we can provide with much firmer management.”

“And how’s Kyle feel about that?”

“Kyle?” Osiris asked him.

“Super grateful for not being dead, um, your royal magic-ness Opal ma’am!” The kid had a plastered-on smile that looked only halfway fake. “I mean, the new hours suck a bit, but it’s better than food service. Also being a, uh, footman comes with health insurance?”

It sounded more like a question than a statement. Lorcan glanced back at Osiris.

“We bound a wraith into the fabric of his soul to ensure his body will not expire before our use for him has,” they said. “That counts. Honestly, we would not have bothered in the first place,” they added with a wave of their hand. “But Jennifer Lynn saw potential in him.”

The realtor’s shade hadn’t looked at Lorcan since she walked out, almost pointedly ignoring him. It wasn’t until the split second where Osiris turned to examine a display that she met his eyes.

Huh, he thought. How about that?

Lorcan wasn’t going to insult Jennifer Lynn’s intelligence by letting slip any more than a single nod, barely more than a twitch of his neck. But when she pivoted back to her work as if nothing had even been communicated, he thought she got the gist.

It was a bigger favor than Lorcan thought he could ask for. The situation Kyle was in was not ideal by any means. It was a lot of trouble Lorcan didn’t know if he could get him out of. But more achievable than full resurrection–he wasn’t that good a necromancer.

“You will need somebody to keep the shop running,” he said, because anything that kept Osiris from doubting Jennifer Lynn’s judgment was good. “Even if you black-market-gem your way out of debt, the customers are what keep the mall alive in the first place.”

Osiris disfavored him with a sour look. “Why should we surrender our own wealth to fix others’ inadequacies? No, we have found a more ingenious solution to our budgetary distress,” they pronounced, eyes glittering. “We have garnished Kyle’s pay.”

Lorcan glanced over to Kyle. “Hooray for capitalism,” he said.

He shouldn’t even be surprised anymore. Osiris was who they’d always been. As Dexter, as Opal, as the full gestalt. These were all people who would do anything to never need anyone.

Kind of like Lorcan. He took a deep breath. He was trying to be better. “Look, Osiris. This might be out of hand–”

“Then do not say it?”

He pressed on, “But you could consider giving a little more recognition to your underlings. There’s stuff they’re doing that you can’t, or won’t, and it doesn’t hurt you to let them pick up that slack. And maybe,” he added, “if you happen to owe someone for past services rendered, just pay them? I cannot stress enough that you’re a rich person who can do that.”

Osiris hummed to themself, seeming to consider it. “What you are saying is that re-investing in our minions now is the opportune moment to secure more unwavering loyalty in the future. Achieve our goals through mundane manipulation, like our predecessor.”

“No,” he said. “No, do not take this and turn it into a necromancy power grab. I’m trying–I am trying to be nice here, goddammit.”

“We know. It is a strange gesture. It hardly suits our working relationship.”

He sighed. “Yeah.”

“And yet you slave to the impulse in your mortal mind to meddle so. Our nigh-infinite wisdom is at a loss to explain it.” Their voice lilted for a moment, like it was a funny joke. But if they had seemed amused at first, their next words made it clear they were very, very not: “One would think the collateral damage alone from your interferences would deter you.”

Lorcan’s heart stuck in his throat. “Is that a threat?” he asked, and tried to sound confident.

“To your, ah, children? No, we have resolved that to attack ones so frail and helpless no longer befits the dignity of our gestalt. Consider it a courtesy after all you have done for us.”

Sure, he thought. That was the reason.

“No, it was,” and Lorcan knew exactly what the Crown would end that sentence with, “a simple observation. You must know by now that your nature is a poison, rather than a balm. Look at what you have wrought in the last week alone–was any of it ‘good’?”

He didn’t react. He didn’t let himself. His very breath stopped. Osiris was looking for a reaction, and he would not give them the satisfaction.

They smiled, and it was as unkind as anything Lorcan had ever done. “Some people were not made to be helpful, Verdigris. Remember that if you seek to interfere in our affairs again.”

Message received, Lorcan thought, mouth suddenly very dry. “Right,” he said, mechanically. Going through every motion. “It’s been real, Osiris. Corporate must love your progress reports.” He turned to go.

But this time, they didn’t let him leave with the parting shot. “Do you know how a conflict between us would end, Lorcan Verdigris?”

This again? “Yes,” he said tightly.

It was an obvious, obedient answer. So it sent a chill shock through his system when the Crown told him that, “We are no longer so certain. But if need be, we will put the question to the test.”

If there was one thing Lorcan had learned about Osiris, the thing that was new and strange about this person who was almost an almost-friend, it was that they liked their labels. It was their way of making the world predictable. Life and death. Work and magic. Threats and fools.

And if there was power in breaking boundaries, Lorcan might have done the worst thing he could in the long run by establishing himself as a threatening fool.

The unsettled feeling stuck with him all the way back to the apartment. “Hey, you’re still alive,” Vulk said, watching TV.

“Yeah.”

<But it’s done.> Frank flickered his light, letting out a satisfied creak.

“...Yeah.” He looked over to the desk, where Loretta’s light shade had swiveled to peer directly at him. “Loretta. Could…” He trailed off.

Going back to a lazy schedule meant he didn’t have to wear himself down thinking over everything that had happened. It meant he had plenty of time to do it anyway. And some thoughts were less avoidable than others.

His nature…a crafter’s art and their magic reflected who they were. It wasn’t supposed to be as simple as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ types of magic. But maybe Lorcan was just an unlucky jerk with nothing below the surface.

If he was a little nicer, would he have ended up with magic like Kryptonia and her friends, something that created instead of destroyed? A seer knew, at least, what it was they were supposed to do. Whether their actions would help or hurt. He could admit he envied that.

When Lorcan first saw the vision of red, he assumed it meant blood. The consequences of a bad choice. Frustrating, vague, and in the end it had been a clue to something else entirely.

No, despite the hint Lorcan was all alone, making his own choices the best he could. And look how that had gone.

In one week, he’d injured several people in a magic fight, gotten a hapless GameStop employee near-permanently subjugated, and threatened to destroy an entire mall. He’d potentially maneuvered the Crown Osiris into a position of even greater strength if they managed to win this necromantic power struggle. Vision or no, maybe there was going to be blood on his hands after all.

“I need a little more light in my room,” was what he said.

Loretta tilted her lampshade. “Sure thing, Dad,” she replied. “You’ve had a rough day.”

Lorcan took her back into his bedroom and plugged her into the outlet by his bedside table. Once he had, it felt like all the fight drained out of him; he slid down the edge of his bed to the floor, head resting against the table.

“Mad and sad, you said?” he asked softly.

He heard a squeak of metal hinges, then her voice in his head. “You did what you had to.”

“I did,” he said. “I don’t regret it. I’d do it again, if any of you needed it.”

“I know.”

His hands were shaking, and he could still feel the mall’s deathly chill. “I just wish--if my magic wasn’t like this--anybody else would have had other options.” His voice was pathetically weak as he asked, “Why me?”

Loretta didn’t answer, and Lorcan didn’t expect her to. He closed his eyes.

When he woke up hours later, his children had crowded their way into the bedroom, entertaining themselves with soft conversations in hushed voices. Loretta was watching over him, Vulk’s cord gripped his wrist, and Terry was wrapped around his shoulders to keep him warm.

Some things in Lorcan’s life were predictable. And despite everything, it was good.

[shotorozu]

hello!! i saw that your requests were open and wanted to ask if you could do single dad! atsumu suna and sakusa falling in love with reader, like it's sort of a meet cute (or not) but the reader falls for them and the kid and happiness lskfjsdfk have a great day!!

single dad! falling for reader

character(s) : miya atsumu, suna rintarou, sakusa kiyoomi (haikyuu!!)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, timeskip au! (because,, single dads.)

headcanon type : fluff, crack and angst if you squint (x reader)

warning(s) : mentions of the character’s ex wives, the ex-wives being jerks for multiple different reasons and ways (so,, be warned. for negligence, not very detailed hitting, and cheating, but not on reader)

note(s) : me, writing for haikyuu?? wow, a surprise! also, it’s been a while since i’ve written for haikyuu so if i don’t get the characterization correctly— ESPECIALLY FOR SAKUSA, i’m sorry in advance.

»»————-　♡　————-««

miya atsumu

at first, his marriage was happy. miya atsumu— successful in his 20s, basically set for life, and with a head strong wife that gave him a wonderful daughter

he was elated when his son, genji came into this world. he wouldn’t swap him out for anyone else. and it was all good, really

until he started spotting marks on genji’s delicate skin, and he even found a large bruise on his shoulder when he was changing his shirt! he almost passed away seeing that

genji would also have a sudden fear of being alone in the house— even when his mother would stay behind to take care of him

but why though? genji’s only 4! what could’ve happened to him? he doesn’t recall hiring any babysitters.

he finally found the answer one day, when he found out that his head strong, intense wife— has been physical with him!

basically, all the love for his wife flew out the window, and he filed for a divorce— and of course, he won custody

and he assumed that his love life would stop at that— and it didn’t sound terrible. all that mattered was that his son was safe, and happy again

but this is where you come in

you work at a toy store, a small business toy store really, that sold the highest of quality only

and atsumu took genji to either replace, or fix the toy he broke a few days back. the place was recommended to him by shoyo— who also had a kid of his own

you’re just two years younger than him, eyes full of determination and care, practically the complete opposite of his ex-wife.

you put up a good conversation with him, while you fixed the toy— the two of you talking about the mutual friends, and that ‘this place should be a lot more popular.’

and also, his son did happen to take a liking to you. he seemed joyous in your presence— compared to how he was with his ex-wife

and from that moment on, the two of you would only become closer— especially when a bunch of his son’s toys started breaking magically

before atsumu knew it, he harbored something for you— the absolute angel you were to the both of them

“‘m sorry for the inconvenience,” the faux blond scratches the back of his next “didn’t know genji here was a ‘lil clumsy weasel,”

you laugh, and genji’s just staring at you with amusement, “it’s fine, genji could break his entire toy box— and i’d still fix it anyway.”

so this was the nerve wracking part, “to make up for it, would you like some coffee later? i could treat ‘ya.”

“is this yer way of askin’ Y/N—”

“shut yer mouth for a sec— uhm,” he looks at you, sheepishly

you laugh, “miya, i wouldn’t mind honestly. but i’d assume you’re busy as it is.”

“not at all!” atsumu replies, “i’ll just, drop off genji first. say yer thanks to Y/N,” atsumu looks at genji, encouraging him to say his thanks

“,,thanks for fixing my toys, Y/N.”

“no problem, genji.” you smile at the two of them when they move to leave the store, fixed toys in hand— as they wave at you before parting

“oh, Y/N?” atsumu calls out,

“yeah?”

“call me atsumu— from now on.” his cheeks are tinted pink, and he can feel genji’s eyes on him.

“oh, uhm. yeah! i’ll see you later, atsumu.”

so yeah— the two of you went out for some coffee, and before he even knew it, he was in love.

it might take him a few months to realize it though

suna rintarou

i can’t imagine him having kids for some reason 💀 but if he were to have any, he’d definitely have a daughter

rintarou himself, didn’t think he would have kids at at all, really. but the moment he was able to meet asuka— his lovely little daughter

he was hooked. he seemed a little awkward at first, not very used to caring for a child. but he was actually decent at his job

he’d sneak into his daughter’s room to hold her when she was upset— even when his wife was too knocked out to realize it, and he’d show her picture books

since she liked them a lot, even when she can’t coherently read a straight paragraph yet.

it started to concern him when he realized how little his wife was involved in the development of their daughter.

she started acting different, a little bit after she didn’t have to breastfeed asuka

and then, that’s when it happened.

“i literally can’t believe you,” he speaks when he’s packing his things, “we have a child together.”

his soon to be ex wife is on the floor, begging him to stay— but he doesn’t care. “look, the idea of you cheating wasn’t very surprising. i don’t care anymore, really. but the fact that you’ve been neglecting asuka for your selfish needs is low. i hope you’re ashamed of yourself.”

his words are so much different that his lenient, calm self. which only solidifies reality

so he leaves with asuka, not caring about the sobs that left his soon to be ex wife’s mouth.

and even though he was still angry at his wife for not being there, he’d never let it show to asuka

he’d still show her picture books, he’d still sit down and watch miraculous ladybug with her— even when she doesn’t understand it all completely

and speaking of picture books— he decided that he needed to buy more for her

so he took her to the bookstore, and he didn’t really know what he was doing. he bought all those previous books when asuka was still a newborn

now it’s a little fuzzy on what he should be looking for. colors, right? he needs a picture book that has plenty of colors.

and that’s where you come in. you’re youthful, despite looking not that far off his age, you’re humming to yourself as you fix the bookshelves

“uhm,” he calls out for your help, and you look at him in recognition “need any help? what are you looking for?”

there’s a helpful glint in your eyes, and it reminded him of what should’ve been in his ex wife’s eyes. “my daughter, likes picture books. and,, i don’t know what i’m doing.”

she’s basically a replica of him, same eye color, and same hair color. but her eyes are much more rounded, youthful.

“cute kid,” you smile when she coos at you, “the children books are this way, follow me!” you exclaim, moving to navigate your way to the children’s book isle

so it seems to be that you really know what you’re doing. most people would’ve recommended picture books with a lot of words, or just no words at all

but you’ve found the books that made asuka exclaim in happiness.

and although it’s not very obvious that rintarou’s caring to his child— he is, and you could tell. despite looking lost, and sometimes bored when you’re explaining the books.

so every 2 weeks, the father would return with his daughter, after he got back from volleyball— and you’d help them pick out on certain books.

rintarou assumed he’d never take a liking in anyone again, but,, here he is. and he doesn’t know how you’ll react to that.

but it’s worth a try— he’d try and get your number when he’d see you again

the next time you see him, the middle blocker’s alone. and he tells you that he needs more picture books for asuka, since she’s staying over at his volleyball friend’s house for a day

“Y/N,”

“yes?” you turn your head, meeting his stare. he looks well,, himself. like how he first sought out for your help a few weeks back

“,, could i get your number? y’know, just in case asuka wanted worded books in the future. you’ve helped a lot, so,,”

you smile, “is this your way of hitting on me?”

he didn’t think it was that obvious, “what?— i mean,” he fumbles to reason out, feeling a bit more awkward. because yes, he’s asking you out but,, he has the power to make things more laxed, y’know?

truthfully, you don’t know much about him. you know a lot about his daughter, sure! but you don’t know anything about her biological mother, or what happened, or why she’s not taking asuka to the bookstore

but you chose not to ask, out of respect. he’d tell you some other day. “i’m just teasing,” you smile, moving to get a small piece of paper— writing your digits on the paper, and placing it in his pocket

“i’d like to see you again,” you smile, “say hi to asuka for me.”

the middle blocker left the store in content, absolutely sure that asuka would love to see you again even when she can’t form proper sentences.

sakusa kiyoomi

didn’t think he’d be fit to be a father— but here he is

though he seems cold, he does take responsibility, and he does love and care for his child, seina

it’s not like he’ll be posting pictures of his child everywhere— i mean, even if he had a different personality, he still wouldn’t be posting his kid everywhere

but he does cherish seina, like his life depended on it. he’d still silently watch her cross out word puzzles in a messy matter, he’d silently listen to her talk about her favorite pastries

he loves her!

so that’s why it made him mad, when even after 4 years of seina being born, her mother made little to no effort in spending time with her

doesn’t matter if it was a simple gesture like tucking her in, or showing up to a birthday— she just,, never did.

it was almost as if she was ignoring seina, which causes some distraught on the child’s behalf— which passed on the negative feeling to him

like,, seina wasn’t an unbearable kid. sure, she acted up here and there, that’s an issue kiyoomi has been trying to fix on his own

but it was nothing too concerning, and it was containable. but his wife treated her like she was absolutely unbearable

and it was super strange because, she’d act normal around him, but would barely acknowledge her own daughter’s existence

so what did kiyoomi do? he confronted her, of course.

and no— his wife wasn’t cheating, and nothing tragic happened that would’ve caused her to be this way

she was just,, lazy

“so.. you gave birth and stopped caring for her? is that it?” furious was an understatement, considering that his wife forgot to make her daughter breakfast

which caused her to sneak out of the house, and ask for some breakfast from some nice neighbors.

“look, if you want nothing to do with her, just say that. i’m taking seina, and leaving.” so yeah now he’s a single father.

to say he didn’t love her was too quick, a part of him didn’t love the fact that his wife loved him, but didn’t show any sign of affection towards her daughter.

he knew it was going to fade away anyway. his feelings for his unofficial ex wife.

and i don’t think he’d plan on seeing new people, since now these days— people just like the idea of being with him

which meant that most people would’ve been scared away, or turned off if they really sat down in a conversation with him

besides the point, kiyoomi was taking his daughter to the bakery again— as she was craving new pastries, and wanted to go to the new bakery that just opened near by

and kiyoomi was like “why not ig” and took her there— but then, this is where he’d meet you for the first time

you were one of the bakers, and it’s not like he was going to pay attention to you— until you did something even HE couldn’t do

“papa, whyyyy” the whining sounding painful in his ears, as his daughter clung to the display of pastries “can’t we get moreeee??”

“seina,” he sighs, “no, we can’t.”

“but—”

“papa, you’re no fair!” her bottom lip trembles, and he could almost FEEL the judgmental stares of the other customers in the bakery

and this is where you come in, “is something the matter?”

“papa won’t.. get me more!” she stares at the selection of pastries, “i’ve been so nice but.. it’s no fair!” her eyes tear up

“don’t cry,” you bend down to blot her tears away with a tissue, “y’know, he probably has a reason, but you’re in luck— actually!” you maneuver behind the counter

you come out from behind, presenting a fresh batch of pastries— that were just right to his daughter’s liking, to the point that it shut her up entirely

“they’re on the house, today’s our opening day, so it’s the bakery’s treat!”you state in a warming matter, grabbing a paper bag to place the pastries in

kiyoomi stares at you, observing you quietly— you could feel his cold stare, even though he’s wearing a medical face mask, that covers about half of his face

you blink, not knowing what is going through his head, and you gesture to his daughter to take them

you clearly don’t know who he is— and that gives kiyoomi some sort of relief, compared to the other customers that are murmuring to each other “sakusa kiyoomi’s here with his daughter! is this what he does in his free time?”

kiyoomi takes the paper bag, giving some sort of non verbal acknowledgement, before he takes his daughter’s hand and leaves

“bye, kind person!” seina calls out to you, which catches you off guard— this causes your coworkers to coo at the girl’s words

“didn’t know sakusa’s daughter was so cute!”

and you’d assume that your interactions with the quiet stranger and his daughter would end at that, but no! life is full of surprises.

the tall masked father comes in again, a little bit before closing time— you were absolutely beat, your back feeling as if boulders were glued to the back, and your feet burning from all of the rush

“oh, what could i do for you?”

he stays quiet, but a small presence sticks behind him, and peers up to you. the face is familiar to you, so you wave “hi there! it’s nice to see you again.”

“i wanna say thanks.” her rounded eyes practically shimmer when they lay themselves on the pastries again, but she shakes her head “for the pastries! they’re very tasty.”

“i’m glad you like them, what was your favorite part of the pastry?”

“the filling! twas yummy!” she gives a toothy grin, “tell me, where ‘dya learn to bake like that?”

kiyoomi stares at the scene unfolding before him. it was.. new. unfamiliar— he hasn’t seen his daughter act like this with anyone else— besides him and his team mates. so, he simply watched.

seina babbled and babbled, much to the your amusement— and the other staff members. you listened to her with your full attention, your interest never wavering in the slightest

it’s a bit later, kiyoomi holds a tired seina in his arms— you expect him to leave the bakery, his daughter’s wishes been fulfilled, and he wouldn’t have a reason to stick around

but then he presents to you a large stack of cash “for the pastries. my,, daughter really liked them.”

your eyes widen, “sir! i told you, the pastries were on the house!” you shake your head, “either way, i can’t take this! it’s too much for some pastries!”

“no, seina insists. in fact, she’s entirely why i’m here.” his tone stays consistent, but even with the mask— you could tell that he’s smiling. “she’s well,, everything. if she’s set on something, then she’ll do everything to achieve her goal.”

you smile at the statement, “thanks for bringing her here sir..?”

kiyoomi hesitates to tell you his name for a moment, an unfamiliar, yet familiar pound in his chest rises— he chooses to not figure it out right now, considering that it would be too soon to pursue a romantic relationship.

but, if his daughter brought him here, then it must be for a reason. “kiyoomi.”

“right,” you smile, “thanks for coming here, kiyoomi. you can give me a call, if seina wants any more pastries.” you write your number on a piece of paper, and hand it to him

he doesn’t reply, but he does take the piece of paper anyway— keeping it in his pocket

and for once, he thinks that he doesn’t hate having to go to the bakery weekly., because there’ll be a warm presence there to greet him— and of course, seina.

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own hq!! and it’s characters. haikyuu!! belongs to furudate haruichi, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission :))

[lazyevaluationranch]

On a post about the Blue Haired Girlfriend's quixotic citrus breeding experiments, @voidingintotheshout​ asked:

I mean, if you wanted a hearty citrus relative, why didn’t you just grow Osage Orange? They can grow as far north as Michigan which is surely further north than anyone could reasonably expect to grow a citrus tree. They’re not edible but then hearty orange isn’t either. Osage Orange are so cool and such a interesting historical plant from the Shelterbelt era of American agriculture. Apparently they do smell like citrus.

This is part three of three. Part one. Part two.

Now you've done it! It's time for A Very Brief (But Also Insufficiently Brief) History of Twentieth Century Hardy Citrus Cultivation! Growing citrus trees this far north is kind of nuts, it's true, but I promise you it is not even close to the weirdest things people have done to grow citrus in places where the citrus doesn't think it should grow.

A note: This post will written using the Swingle citrus taxonomy system, including things that are definitely wrong. The citrus taxonomic tree looks like that one box of orphaned computer cords I keep moving with me to new houses "in case I need them" except some sort of adorable five-dimensional kitten has entertained herself with them and some of the resulting knots are not technically possible in our space-time continuum. 

The powers that be gave us citrus because nothing pleases them like seeing a geneticist cry.

1. The Migrant Trees

The Soviet Union wanted lemons for tea, and they wanted to be independent enough not to have to trade with anyone else to get them, which meant they wanted to grow their own citrus. That part of the world is not a great place to grow plants that die when the temperature goes below zero, but at the foundation of the Soviet Union, there were citrus orchards in the warmest part of Georgia, along the Black Sea. Specifically, there was about, uh, one and a half square kilometers of somewhat implausible citrus orchard.

Hang on, it is about to get way less plausible.

This is the great citrus migration: any tree that did well in one spot, they'd try planting its seeds a few kilometres further north, or a few kilometres further east. Prizes were offered for breeding hardier citrus. Slowly the orchards spread, but they were extremely weird orchards.

It's usually a few degrees warmer at ground level than up in the air, and there's way less wind. So as the trees grew, they were bent over and tied along the ground. Some of them had the central trunk run in a straight line along the ground, with branches spreading out from it like the leaves of a fern, like an espaliered tree on its side. Others were starfish shaped, with the central trunk looped down until it ended up next to the base, and the branches sprawling out along the ground from the centre like starfish legs. The citrus trees were no taller than particularly vigorous strawberry plants, but they survived the winters, and you could throw a blanket over them to help them stay warm.

None of that helped if the ground froze solid, so they needed Underground Citrus. You'd dig a ditch, down below the lowest area where the ground froze, and you'd plant flat Starfish Trees or Flat Frond Trees running along the bottom of it, too deep to freeze. In winter, you'd just cover the ditch with boards any time the temperature was expected to go below freezing - citrus would tolerate the lack of light, but not the cold. Mandarins (Citrus reticulata) seemed to do best, so that’s most of what was grown.

It is a nearly unimaginable amount of work to grow citrus this way, along the bottoms of pits and trenches. We are experimentally trying to grow a Soviet-developed mandarin breed of unknown parentage, Shirokolistvennyi, but we will definitely not be putting in that level of effort.

2. The Mixed Up Trees

There are a couple species of citrus that tolerate cold well, but taste awful. A lot of effort has gone into crossbreeding them with more edible citrus. The results are ... mixed.

The Ichang Papeda (Citrus cavaleriei) generally survives temperatures down to -18 degrees C. It is stoic and calm and has mastered emptiness. Unfortunately, it has mastered emptiness too well. The fruit smells like lemons, with maybe a hint of rose, but there's nothing to eat here. It has a rind and seeds. No juice, no flesh.

(Photo by Michael Saalfield)

The Ichang Papeda is the parent or grandparent to several delicious, extremely sour Asian citrus types. Yuzu/yuja smells like grapefruit and clean wet stones from the bottom of a fast-flowing stream. Sudachi smells like grapefruit and leaves with dew on them. (I haven't met kabosu or any other papeda hybrids personally, but they are numerous.)  They're all too sour to eat plain, unless you really need to turn your face inside out for some reason, but make for excellent flavouring. 

(We have a yuzu tree and a sudachi tree and they're surviving, but no fruit yet.)

Trifoliate orange (Poncirus trifoliata) can survive temperatures down to -30 degrees C. This may be partly because, uniquely amoung citrus, they can drop leaves in autumn or winter and regrow them in spring, like a maple tree. They also produce an internal antifreeze. They are angry, twisted, thorny little plants that yell swears when you walk past them. They make a great hedge. The fruit is furry, smells like flowers and pine trees and taste like burnt, bitter plastic. It may or may not be possible to breed the horrible taste completely out of trifoliate oranges without losing cold-hardiness, if it's due to their antifreeze chemicals. Here’s Stabby:

(Photo by Rob Hille)

Even the least terrible trifoliate crossbreeds are bitter enough to qualify as “acquired tastes.” There are recipes for trifoliate marmalade: put a dozen trifoliate oranges, a kilogram of sugar, and a kilogram of pebbles in a pot, cook until it gels, then sieve out the oranges and eat the pebbles. 

We are growing a trifoliate orange / minneola orange hybrid. And, of course, someday our own trifoliate hybrids. The Blue Haired Girlfriend planted 200 trifoliate oranges a couple years ago. There are fewer now, but the survivors have lived through two winters of snow and frost, and they might have somehow gotten more stabby. We're going to breed them, to each other or to less angry fruit, try and make something new and good from them.

I've limited this post to twentieth century hardy citrus breeding, but I have to give a shoutout to somatic hybridization, a decidedly twenty first century technique, where you take a cell from each of two different plants, remove their cell walls, put them next to eachother, and shock them with electricity until they merge into a single cell whose nucleus contains all genes from both plants. Then the new plant is like, "Wow, I guess these are all my genes? It seems like a lot, haha, but it's not like somebody made me from dismembered body parts and electricity, that is not how science works. Anyway I guess it's time to do some plant stuff now."

3. The Mutant Trees

In the 1950s, people started using radiation to randomly scramble the genes of plants. You'd irradiate seeds enough to change the genes somehow, and then you'd have to plant them to see what had happened. Maybe it was people horrified by the atomic bomb desperately wanting to find some life-supporting use for atomic fission, maybe it was government-supported cold war "atom bombs are good actually, look how many we have, USSR" propaganda. Probably both. 

This time period also saw serious plans for Orion, a spaceship with a huge metal plate for a butt, intended to be propelled by exploding atomic bombs under it, which I am not actually making up.

Thousands of people in Europe and the US signed up to receive seeds with random mutations in the mail, plant them, and report back on what they heck they grew into and if it had any useful weirdness. (The gamma radiation used to mutate the seeds did not make them radioactive themselves - the seeds were completely safe.) There were also more formal and carefully controlled university research programs in China, Japan, and the US, where plants where grown in a circular research garden with a coverable radiation source at the centre, so that the farther you got from the centre, the less radiation the plants got. Radiation breeding is less popular than it used to be, but Japan still has a very productive citrus radiation breeding program.

The most popular radiation-bred citrus is the "Rio Red" grapefruit and its offspring, which has a much deeper red than non-mutant red grapefruit.

There aren't many radiation-developed citrus breeds noted for cold-hardiness - with radiation you get whatever you get  - but there are a few, and I want one just because I think they're neat, a monument to that lovely human vision that looks at terrible weapons and somehow sees glossy-leaved trees with bright fruit.

4. The Monster Trees

Citrus are usually grown via grafting. That is, you plant a seed from a fast-growing sturdy breed, you let it grow roots and all that, and then you cut the top off and replace it with a branch from a more delicious breed. The two citruses grow together, and you end up with a tree that's disease and cold resistant in the roots, below the graft, but makes tasty fruit above the graft.

Occasionally, this process goes Wrong. 

The first recorded instance is the tree called Bizarria, discovered in 1640. Someone attempted to graft a sour orange branch onto a citron. But instead of a clean line between sour orange branches and citron roots, the graft was damaged somehow, and the two different species of cells got tangled and mixed through the whole tree. It has branches that produce citron fruit. It has branches that produce sour orange fruit. And it has branches that produce, uh ... these:

(Photo by Labrina)

Most graft chimeras are made accidentally, when the graft site is damaged. Trifoliate orange is often used as rootstock, so there are many reported chimeras involving trifoliate orange and a nicer fruit. The mixed-up cells can be arranged a lot of ways, but it's possible to have the outside layer of the tree be trifoliate orange, and the core of the tree be the other citrus (periclinal chimera). This means you could theoretically get a tree with frostproof trifoliate leaves and branches, but fruit that doesn’t taste like burnt plastic rolled in quinine.

This lucky monstrosity has, in fact, reportedly happened. Twice. There is the Prague Citsuma, discovered in a greenhouse in Prague and suspected to have been created by a Soviet breeding program. And then there is the Hormish, discovered in China and thought to have been made by frostbite messing up the clean lines of the graft. The Blue Haired Girlfriend has managed to track down budwood from the Prague Citsuma - I’m so excited! - so we'll see how the fierce thorny monster tree with a heart of gold, or at least heartwood of gold, does for us.

5. Conclusion

Humans have been trying to grow citrus trees where they don't belong for nearly two thousand years, at least since the Jewish Diaspora and people trying to grow holy etrog trees - trunks gnarled as barnacle stones and the whole tree scented like the best dream you can't remember - in Europe. Maybe longer.

The Blue Haired Girlfriend's citrus-breeding schemes aren't going to singlehandedly transform Canada into a net citrus exporter. But history shows us: it might be possible to have a little gleaming sweetness from the stony ground here, with the ravens and the fir trees and the auroras. A sweetness we made ourselves, that exists nowhere else. 

Or maybe we'll just have a bunch of weird inedible fruit. I don't know, but it's worth finding out, worth weaving together leaf and thorn and stone and the light of our hands as the years unwind. Worth it to have a quixotic project we can expect to spend decades on together, hands and hearts. This is how home is made, sometimes, with a balcony full of angry thorny little trees that shout swears at passerby.

[leviiattacks]

hi hi hi i really really really loved your jealous headcanon of levi and your teacher levi!!! i was wondering if i could maybe request something where you kinda mix the two(?) so like theres this event going on in school and the reader is very occupied and busy because shes paying attention to her students and then maybe she talks to some teachers about the event and then levi is just there secretly sulking cause he wants her attention too?? or idk you do you because your works are always soooooooo good thank you<3333

author note :: i did not stick to the prompt which was honestly an accident?/£/):7 but there is jealous levi and reader so i hope it workssss, it’s not that great and isn’t edited...but i hope you enjoy it :-( also thank you for the request you were very kind <3

for this to make more sense you’ll probably have to read my first ever teacher levi post which you can find here !!!!!

requests are always open :-)

word count :: 4.3k ???? longer than i expected ???? 

levi groans at the mention of sports day before turning to look at you dead in the eyes

he knows this is your doing, you’ve always been big on getting the children into sport and other extracurriculars

now see, he has no actual issue with sports day?? he’s pretty fit if he says so himself!!!

it’s just that he frankly does not have the effort to participate.

another part of him also feels frustrated seeing mike flock around you like an annoying bee

he’s asking all sorts of questions

“are we doing the three legged race again this year?”

“how about javelin?”

“HAHA...mike...”

levi takes one look at you and knows you’re trying to let him down softly, it is his favourite event after all.

“since last year’s fiasco and the way you nearly hit one of the sixth graders i think not.” you awkwardly chuckle patting his shoulder as if it’s any consolation

mike loves sports day, he’s competitive in all of the teacher only events and last year he even tripped you and levi up ON PURPOSE might you add

either way he still lost the teacher’s three legged race last year and ever since he’s been out to gain his title back.

levi remembers, he’s unsure if you do but he remembers vividly having to carry you on his back because you had sprained your ankle pretty badly after your collision with mike.

back then you and levi were still in the middle of your little math vs english debate meaning the whole walk to the infirmary was filled with bickering.

and when levi had placed you onto one of the beds you insisted you could treat yourself when you really couldn’t

the way that scenario ended had been with levi forcing you to place your foot onto his knee as he iced and tended to it

this year levi is not having any repeats of that. yes, he quite liked having some alone time with you, in fact it was one of the first times he stopped to wonder if he liked you.

BUT!!!! having you limp around the corridors wasn’t the best either and you were highly irritable until you were fully healed

“why don’t you actually try this year?” hange stifles a laugh, they’re stood to levi’s left and upon hearing their voice his shoulders sag. he knows he’s in for one hell of an earful

“i do try–”

“yeah whatever. anyway, you want a cupcake?” hange’s gesturing to the haphazardly iced buns in the four plastic containers in their hands

“these are for the bake sale!!” they add in enthusiastically.

levi’s about to shake his head, he’s already donated to the bake sale’s charity fund without paying for any of the baked goods. yes it is purely because he doesn’t trust hange to feed him anything edible

“they’re y/n’s batch :-)” hange’s wickedly grinning knowing they’ve hit their colleagues weakness

without another thought levi’s right hand dives into one of his pockets, fishing his wallet out. he places a few spare coins into hange’s palm

“wOAH, you’re pretty eager aren’t ya??”

their remark flies over levi’s head as he tries to pick out two of the most presentable cupcakes

“you’re so fond of y/n, why not try a little harder like i said?” hange’s thrown the bait in the river and levi completely falls for it. he turns ninety degrees completely forgetting about the cupcakes.

“i’m talking about sport’s day if it isn’t obvious.”

he faces hange directly. he scowls twisted in fake disgust and confusion all at once

“and why would i care about that?” he shoots back

“after walking in on the both of you touching each other up in the janitor’s closet i’m really surprised you’re — mMMPH—” levi’s shoved one of the cupcakes into hange’s mouth

“you’re gonna have to pay for that–”

levi smacks some more money into their palm to appease the issue

“when did you see that and have you told anyone else?” he’s seething right now, there’s no way he or you were unable to notice someone as loud as hange prance into the storage cupboard accidentally

“i haven’t told anyone but it has only been three days since i saw so who knowsss...”

“i’ll do anything for you to keep your mouth shut.” levi’s practically begging at this point

“i think you should buy a whole box of cupcakes as compensation. my eyes will never be the same again.”

levi hands over more than enough money, he’s probably handed over enough for two boxes just for extra measure

it’s not that he’s embarrassed of you or anything no, no, not at all. he just, this sounds so stupid but he isn’t sure what the two of you are????

you’ve kissed, A LOT but the only problem is that there’s never actually been confirmation of... something more? than that?

he’s simply horrible at asking, and seeing the way you’re talking to mike it’s almost getting to the stage of borderline flirting

he’s currently flexing one of his muscles and levi’s unsure if you’re actually gawking at them or feigning interest so mike can get bored and leave sooner

his bets are on you pretending for the sake of mike leaving until you reach out to squeeze his arm appreciatively

...

what is this feeling??

insecurity?? a low self esteem??? levi isn’t entirely sure what the emotion that surges through him at that moment is

but hange sure does, grinning at the scene playing out they shove moblit with their elbow

well, well, well levi getting jealous is certainly something new.

when levi knocks on the door of your classroom you assume he’s come to bother you and ask for the spreadsheet with grade averages and all that technical stuff

english and math grades need to be compared side by side and even though it’s your job to help with the data analysis you’re pretty bad at it so levi’s the one who USUALLY picks up the pieces and does it for the two of you

occasionally mike steps in and helps when levi’s got other stuff in the way

“oh levi!! mike told me he’d be doing this month’s spreadsheet?” you’ve poked your head out of the door to talk to him

levi’s eyes narrow at that because he hasn’t asked mike for help at all.

“i didn’t come here for the spreadsheet but i haven’t even told mike to assist me this month... i wonder why he’s so passionate.” he mumbles the last part under his breath

opening the door up you wave for him to come inside “what you here for then?” you ask, oOoh maybe he’s finished reading an inspector calls?? finally you can talk to someone about the twist at the end

“i’m taking part in sports day properly.” the statement is unexpected and ?? levi ?? take anything other than math seriously ??

“woah... i’m proud of you?? i’m glad you’re seeing it’s important to show the children physical activity is fun.” your smile brightens up the entire room and he begins to feel a little more confident

peering up at him your curiosity doesn’t go unnoticed and he clears his throat, he knows you’re expecting him to say something else

ok, ok, ok. he thinks he’s built enough courage up to ask you

“i’ve never got the chance to ask but would you like to go on a date?” on reflex levi screws his eyes shut, suddenly he’s convinced you’ll say no and reject him. why would you accept??

“sure!”

his eyes flutter open and he feels you grip at the sleeve of his shirt.

well? that went better than he expected?

“where do you want to go?” you ask

“doesn’t matter, but let’s go somewhere after sports day finishes up.”

“are you barely going to try like last year?” you’re munching away at a granola bar - it’s rather bland and makes your throat feel kinda scratchy

you’re midway through drinking some water to deal with the dryness but you nearly spit it out when levi responds

“no. i plan on winning every single teacher event.”

HE WANTS TO??? beat???? everyone???

“you’re planning on beating mike too?” you tilt your head to the side incredulously

levi purses his lips at the mention of his name

“why does that sound so absurd to you?”

“he’s um, very good at sport that’s all.”

“i am too.” levi’s adamant to prove his point to you

“fine, here’s a deal. win at least one teacher event and i’ll try and solve one of your funny math problems or whatever.”

“what kind of deal is that??”

“you’ll be able to see me struggle with numbers, for free!!”

“no. i have something better in mind.” levi bites his smile back, he can’t let you know the idea makes him feel

“and that would be?”

he takes a step forward decreasing the space between the two of you.

“how about you kiss me in front of everyone?”

your mouth falls open because oh wow....? you have no actual problem with the task you’re simply surprised that levi is willing to put the both of you out there like that. the spectacle is bound to raise some eyebrows

“deal?” he holds his hand out for you to shake

you nod your head. “it’s a pleasure doing business with you.”

and so your deal is sealed with a firm handshake.

the big day has ARRIVED!!!

all of the students are flooding in through the gates. some carry footballs, other basketballs. you’ve been here for less than ten minutes and had to save a ball from crashing right into an expensive window.

everyone’s wearing active gear, udo walks in with a ski mask on?? which is peculiar but it’s humorous so you don’t tell him off for it

you’ve chosen a comfortable olive green tracksuit, you don’t think you’re in the mood for ski masks like udo is

coincidentally levi happens to show up in the EXACT same type of tracksuit?? everything’s the same to the colour. you both stare at each other for a moment trying to figure out how exactly you managed that but give up, you guess you have similar tastes

the accidental coordinated outfits have a few of your students pointing and chuckling together

gabi and falco are laughing heartily and whispering god knows what about the two of you

“three legged race partner?” levi asks as he fills up some water bottles for the water stand

“oh? mike asked me to be his partner.”

levi doesn’t make it obvious that he’s jealous about it because what adult would be jealous over a three legged race??

but even if you can’t tell levi is pissed mike sure can

he’s walking past the two of you, hands shoved into his pockets when he spots you a few meters away. his eyes sparkle when he sees you. it’s at that moment he senses the dark piercing glare coming from your right.

you’ve yet to notice mike but levi’s seen him approaching from a mile away and he isn’t particularly happy about it.

the good thing about mike is that he knows not to mess with levi.

the two have known each other for years and by now mike knows messing with levi is a death wish in itself.

so when the poor physical ed teacher notices the way levi glowers at him he calls out your name to get your attention - he’s much too afraid to get anywhere near you

“Y/N!!”

whipping your head around you wave at your race partner, why does it look like he’s seen a ghost?? you shove that thought to the back of your mind, he’s probably just tired

“petra doesn’t have a partner and uhh... i think levi’s free. could you work with him instead?”

levi turns away to smile to himself. ah how the tables have turned!!!

“but i want to work with you? it’s always y/n and levi do this. y/n and levi do that!! i wanna try with someone else.”

what you’ve said is a lie. honestly you’d just like to see levi get worked up again

but levi doesn’t get the memo at all. it flies over his head and he huffs thinking if that’s what you want he doesn’t mind. he’ll just show you how he feels.

“it’s okay. i’ll go with petra.” levi nonchalantly salutes at both you and mike as he walks backwards before turning around to locate the ginger in question

WHY DID HE GIVE IN SO EASILY???? YOU WERE JOKING?????

with your mouth open wide mike looks at you once and puts the pieces together

“guessing you wanted him to stick around?” you suddenly hear and god, you feel kinda bad

“oh no!!! i would love to be your partner.” looping your arm with his you smile up at him

whether or not mike believes you isn’t clear but he does return your smile.

there’s a few minutes till the three legged race starts, everyone’s running around. erwin’s knelt down to tie yours and mike’s legs together

as he’s doing so you can’t help but hear a high pitched windshieldy giggle leave petra and you visibly seem annoyed. that’s if your arms crossed over your chest and clenched jaw are anything to go by

levi hasn’t even said anything notably funny ???? what is she laughing at ????

he’s quite literally just standing there making awkward small talk with her

it goes something like this

“have you marked your exams yet?”

levi doesn’t realise she’s said anything till she taps his shoulder and he asks for her to repeat her question

“oh.” he thinks for a while. “no not yet. i’ve got better shit to do. i don’t see them till next week either way.”

and then she just starts laughing so hard that she has to hold her knees and when that isn’t enough she holds onto a nearby pole for support

you see where this is going

when her breathing gets even more uneven she reaches out to grab levi’s upper arm

YUP. you knew it. you can’t be mad at her really. no one knows you and levi are sort of a thing.

a thing? is that the term? well, whatever late night calls discussing books and a few heated kisses in private mean that’s what you are

levi stares at the hold she has on his arm and you expect him to shrug her off. instead he sees you look, smirks a little and waves all the while letting her hand stay there

and the icing on the cake is petra waving at you too and her eyes are much more expressive than she thinks they are

she’s internally laughing at you for sure.

ok, not a big deal, NOT a big deal!!!

this is just him getting back at you for before.

flipping your head back your sad expression probably catches mike’s attention because he seems to cave in

“want to make him jealous back?”

his suggestion is interesting but you catch yourself second guessing

“he’s doing that because he’s jealous.” you mumble shaking your leg to test the strength of erwin’s knot

“and? don’t let him win.” he glances at his shoulder gesturing for you to make the next move

nodding your head vigorously you throw your arm over mike’s shoulder but find he’s too tall to make that work so instead you settle on holding him by the side

it takes you a little to adjust to the close proximity but in the time it takes you to do that mike informs you of levi glaring at the two of you

“mind if i hold onto you here? we can coordinate our moves faster!!!” petra doesn’t even wait for levi to agree to what she says. she just flings one of her arms around his torso

again, he lets her just as last time.

this game of cat and mouse is getting tiring, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut when mike approached you.

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

your senses snap back to where you are. your grip on mike’s torso firms and he turns to nod at you.

you nod back.

you’ll win this.

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!”

okay, SO.

something in your game plan must have gone wrong but mike’s strength is something you’ve clearly underestimated. his first step is so powerful you don’t even have the time to start moving

you assume that’s how you collapse to the ground behind him and scrape your hands onto the cement of the track

so much for winning. all you’re doing is bleeding and hissing trying to cope with the stinging sensation

“mike?!?? not again??” hange groans and jogs over to the two of you untying the ropes at your legs.

“do we have to ban you from another event??? you’re too reckless sometimes.” hange smacks his chest and then hurriedly whispers “levi’s coming this way if you value your life you better bolt and use the first aid kit as an excuse.”

mike doesn’t even debate with himself, that’s his best bet at staying alive and so he dashes away as if he’s left the shower on at home for five hours unattended

some students are murmuring under their breaths and luckily for you the forever reliable gabi and falco have come to your rescue with bandages

“show me your hands.” levi’s hard voice interrupts all discussion. petra’s stood peering over his shoulder and you swear you catch her muffling a laugh

levi frowns. “you good?” he asks. you assume this answer will be the deciding factor regarding whether or not he makes this an issue with mike

“i’m great – trust me!! just a few scrapes.”

levi doesn’t look convinced but he let’s it go.

he helps you get up and takes the bandages from gabi thanking her.

“i’ll patch y/n up.” he tells hange pointedly and they agree. moblit at that moment happens to run over with a megaphone in hand.

“SHOWS OVER FOLKS!! WE’LL MOVE ON TO THE JUMP ROPE EVENT FOR NOW!!!”

“i’ll make him lose the one hundred meter sprint so badly he won’t know what hit him.” levi’s been grumbling the entire time he’s sat down to bandage your hands.

now that you’re both sat close to each other again murmurs of “matching tracksuits??” are back

“you don’t have to it was a mistake levi.”

levi shrugs eyes scanning his handiwork. “i want to. i’ve got to earn my kiss in front of a crowd anyway.”

gently letting go of your hand he looks out onto the track waiting to be called.

you’ve never seen levi give his full effort into sports day but even then you’re unsure if he’ll ever be able to beat mike.

honestly mike sure is fast and you recall one of the children referring to him with the nickname lightening bolt

and speak of the devil. a group of children walk past and are talking about the teacher’s race

“mr bolt’s gonna win for sure. you seen him run?? he could be an olympian!!!!” zofia’s gushing about him, she happens to be a big fan

the only nickname you’ve ever heard for levi is ursula – “ursula sure is evil for giving us that much work >:(” you had heard udo say once during class but after the earful he got from gabi he never used the name again, neither did anyone else

a few more minutes pass in a comfortable silence and levi��s called over to his lane. you’ve accepted the fact that there’s no changing his mind and he’s bound to compete now

“wait for me by the finish line.” he instructs and so you do. you go your separate paths. he to his lane (he’s in the lane two) and you to the finish line

petra’s already standing there waiting. her elbows are propped onto the railing peering out towards the contestants.

making your way to stand with her you see her sigh dreamily at levi in the distance

“hey, i know you don’t like levi a whole lot. you know your fued and all but do you think he’d say yes if i asked him out?”

well.

that sure is unexpected.

you fight the urge to scoff because you know you and levi are starting to drop more hints. is this her way of finding out the truth?

“me and levi don’t hate each other actually.”

“oh, well dislike.”

“we don’t dislike each other.”

“tolerate?” she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth trying to control her frustration

“petra. i like levi.” your confession knocks the wind out of her. you both silently exchange looks. she’s very clearly in disbelief.

the next time she speaks the previous playful lilt in her voice is long gone

“as soon as you noticed i liked him you just had to decide you liked him too. people like you make my skin crawl.”

?????????

why is she so bitter?.)/&£:

you can’t help liking levi and he likes you too,, so what now??

“he likes me back petra. can we be civil about this? i don’t like workplace drama. i had no idea you were into him.” you’re hoping that this will happen to shut her up but NO!!! it doesn’t she’s only more mouthy now

“prove it.” she points one of her manicured fingers into your chest and demands evidence she doesn’t even deserve to see

“what???”

“if he likes you back so much he should be able to show it.”

you know, if it were any day, any other time or any other person asking you this you would have out right refused, but given the circumstances and levi already waiting on you to kiss him in front of the entirety of the school you see no issue with having the last laugh in this argument

“fair enough.” you mutter and lean over to see hange announce the countdown

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!!!”

you swear you blink because GOD what on EARTH????? you don’t understand why previous to this levi balked at the thought of participating because he’s made it look so easy.

he’s not bolted he may as well have TELEPORTED to the finish line. mike is breaking out in a sweat far behind him and the boyish grin on levi’s face is enough to tell how he feels

gasps and applause can be heard from the children. zofia and udo are passionately arguing about some bet they’ve made - you make a mental note to tell them that making deals is fun as long as they don’t bet large amounts of money

levi’s jogging up to you completely ignoring petra’s presence

“told you i’d do it. i avenged you didn’t i?” you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile so confidently in public 

you acknowledge what he’s said with a cartoon like thumbs up and then you’re staring at him unable to locate your courage

oh fuck it

you lean in hurriedly and steal a peck from him. he blinks and then scowls much to petra’s amusement. she has to think he’s about to curse you out but unbeknownst to her she’s read the situation wrong

“is that your idea of a kiss??”

and then he takes matters into his own hands – no literally into his own hands. he cups your face in his palms and captures your lips with his own. as you reciprocate petra can be heard choking on her saliva.

“OH well who would’ve guessed the english and math department had an alliance????? not me???” next is hange, they’re feigning shock even though they’ve known what the two of you have been up to this entire time

the whispers have now become full on shouts

“i KNEW it they were dating?!?!”

“MAN??? I HAD A CRUSH ON MR ACKERMAN WHAT NOW???”

gabi and falco are audibly cheering, you’re quite sure they realised what was up long ago

“DON’T BE UPSET BUT I THINK THIS IS WAYYY BETTER THAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!!!” falco’s comment makes your heart rise in your chest

and you know what? you think so too.

as levi’s hand travels to the back of your neck pressing you further into him you come to the conclusion that maybe just maybe this is far better than pride and prejudice ever will be :-)

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You've probably been asked this question before, but...how do you deal with self-doubt/impostor syndrome as a creator? I'm no artist, but I channel my creative energy into being a writer, and I have a ton of ideas that I want to explore in my writing, but I fear that if I don't utilize those ideas to their absolute fullest, I'd be letting down hundreds of people who like to read my work. Do you have any advice? I'd love to hear it. P.S. I love your WD!Steven comic.

OH! Ha, yes, imposter syndrome. Let’s... let’s talk about that. 

For those that don’t know, imposter syndrome is the phenomenon many creative people go through where they doubt their own abilities. Especially if a creator has gotten a lot of attention for their work, they begin to succumb to the pressure of being “good enough” to have “deserved” their audience. 

To put it simply, you feel like you’re an imposter that has somehow fooled people into believing they’re in for a ‘good’ story, and you will inevitably disappoint everyone when they figure out you’re not as ‘awesome’ or as ‘talented’ as they’ve been led to believe. 

It is self-doubt in its purest form, it is the fear of doing well and the fear of doing poorly all rolled into one bitter, stress-inducing onigiri. 

Let’s discuss self-doubt. I’m going to describe 3 things specifically to keep in mind for this. 

1) The Horizon Goalpost

You may have already read this in my other post about unrealistic goals. 

Basically this boils down to: Don’t set unrealistic goals. 

Utilizing Your Ideas To The Fullest is a wholly unrealistic goal to have, to be honest. No single idea can ever be ‘fully’ utilized because the concept will be different for everyone. Everyone will have a different idea of what the perfect, plot will look like. People literally argue about how shows ‘should’ have ended all day and all night. 

Saying ‘I need to write this story perfectly otherwise it’s garbage!’ is the same as looking at the sun on the horizon and treating it like a finish line.

We know the sun isn’t AT the horizon, and it is impossible to arrive at the horizon in the first place because it only exists as the limit of our vision... your story is like that. You do have limits on how much potential you can see. But that doesn’t mean your goal should be to catch up to it. Take it one step at a time. Many people don’t even START their story, let alone finish it. Set achievable goals. 

2) The Man Behind The Curtain

The second fallacy of self-doubt is the idea that anyone is at all competent. 

It’s false. No one knows what the fuck they’re doing - you included. That’s just how the world is.

Look, I’ll give you an example. Maybe when you were little you would go to your local grocery store and think ‘wow, everything is organized and works so well! The cashiers do their thing, the self-check-out is working... everything is running like a well-oiled machine!’ 

Then you grow up, work in retail and realize that everything except the storefront is held together with chewing gum and cello-tape. No one is ever 100% adequate, at least one person is having a mental breakdown every day, and everything is five minutes away from collapsing like a house of cards - all the while customers are none the wiser. 

This holds true for practically EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.

Sure, we may our good days where we function relatively well. But this is not a held constant and on average, most of us are struggling to maintain the illusion of Everything Is Fine while simultaneously worrying that we’re the only ones that do this. 

On average, we are all incompetent. The people that succeeded are not always better - sometimes they were just lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. For many of them, that moment happened when they were born to wealthy parents. For some, it was just about utilizing their 6 degrees of separation right. 

The truth is, there are THOUSANDS of people who COULD have been Beyonce, or JK Rowling, or whoever. The popular are not inherently more talented. They just happened to have the spotlight on them. 

3) Schrodinger’s Fanbase

The third thing to keep in mind when you write, or draw, or compose, or CREATE - is that your audience is not a set auditorium of people. 

And statistically, the beginning of your story is always going to be the point at which you have the largest number of potential fans. 

When you START your story, you only have to worry about satisfying people about the premise. You get them hooked and they’re more or less appeased - because the rest of the story is in their expectations. It’s in their head, and they will make up whatever they need to keep them happy. At that point, your story is still 90% their story (or whatever they think your story will be). 

The further you go into your story, the more you will narrow down your fanbase. People who expected it to take a different turn in chapter 2 will drop off. Then people who wanted something specific to happen in chapter 3 (but it didn’t) will also leave. 

And you know what? THAT’S FINE. That’s the normal way stories go. You cannot appease everyone at the same time - you will always have people who will be dissatisfied with the way you decided to do things. 

The important bit is - that doesn’t mean you are a worse writer. It just means that your fanbase organically shifts and expands as necessary. Your story will speak to different people at different stages. Let them enjoy it or not enjoy it. You cannot force someone to like something - but you CAN form connections to those people that do like it! 

In other words - let the fanbase exist as its own separate ecosystem, and don’t depend on it. It will morph and evolve as you write, and you and your fans will find each other and drift away as necessary. 

I also encourage other people - fans specifically - to allow consider this approach! 

I know we all love to kvetch, and yeah, it’s good sometimes to let off steam... But I don’t think hyperfocusing on something you dislike is healthy. If a story doesn’t satisfy you, don’t waste time forming an anti-fandom for it. Don’t fuel more effort and time into something that makes you unhappy. Just... go find something that you DO enjoy! Give THAT your time and attention!

Anyway, that’s just the way I think about it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been around long enough to know that pretty much every author and artist suffers from self-doubt and it’d be silly to hold myself to unrealistic standards that no one else is able to meet?

Hope that helps!

[dokifluffs]

Naps with Him | Ushijima and Sakusa

Pairing: Ushijima X Reader (gender neutral), Sakusa X Reader (gender neutral)

Genre: sleepy goodness mwah 

Author’s Notes: i love them 

Naps with Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Bokuto // Naps with Kageyama and Kuroo // Naps with Kenma and Akaashi // Naps With Them | Iwaizumi and Atsumu //

Ushijima: 

You sat impatiently in the full airport, waiting for Ushi’s flight to land

It was almost time and you hadn’t seen him in like two weeks cause he travelled to Europe with his team for a match against France

You cheered to your hearts content watching comfortably at home

The game was tense and close, keeping you on the edge of your seat but of course the Adlers were able to pull through with a win

You practically bounced from your seat when it was announced his flight had landed

After a spell of time passed by, you were finally able to see him again, walking with his team in their jackets, some paparazzi snapping some pictures of them

You saw his gaze soften when you called out to him, gettting his attention

He eased into your touch and have you a big bear hug, squeezing you and lifting you just a little bit off the ground

He pat your head like a dad

You pressed a few kisses to his cheek making him smile from such a nice welcome home

After grabbing his luggage you drove him home

He was beat and a tiny bit jet lagged from the European time zone compared to the one he was used to in Japan

But he talked about his trip, the things he saw, the beautiful gardens he wanted to bring you to whenever he could

He talked about the foods he ate but how he preferred your food the most

It was a very fun trip and he wished you were there

You insisted he sleep in the car since he was pretty tired, stifling yawns every now and then but he wanted to sleep after a nice shower

He asked you about how you had been during his time away and it made him realize how much he actually missed the sound of your voice

It sounded so good to him and the way you laughed had him feel like he was falling in love with you all over again

When the two of you arrived at home, after bringing his luggage in, you shooed him away so he could take a relaxing shower

While you tossed his clothes into the washing machine

Nothing beat home, everything felt good and comfortable

After he dried off, he called you to join him

He really just wanted to hold you and to just feel you in his arms

It was pretty different his first few nights in Europe when he didn’t feel the warmth of your body beside him, only a cool, empty bed

He held a pillow loosely in his arms to sleep at night

But now he was back and you were actually there

You joined him with comfy clothes on while he laid bare with mere sweatpants on

You laid with your head on his chest and your arms and leg slung across his body as he rubbed your shoulder, arm, and down your back with his arm wrapped around you

As stoic as he was, he loved having you with him

omg peep tendou on the side bby 

Sakusa: 

Today was a working day

Sakusa was determined and so were you

Today, you two were to tackle the entire house

He wore his mask and gloves, and a hazmat suit while you wore simple gloves and a mask too and started in completely different areas of the house

But he trusted you to clean thoroughly

He of course checked up on you

It was finally spring and that meant pollen and dust outside and since the two of you came in and out quite often, it was time to clean

He started in the kitchen and scrubbed the dishes, floor, cabinets, oven, stove

You name it, he cleaned it

And you started in the bedroom, washing the sheets and replacing the blankets and bedding with fresh ones

He vacuumed the entire house, dusting it, wiping the pictures and all the surfaces he could so it was spotless

You scrubbed your shared bathroom

The day was very long and full of grossness, mostly on his end but nothing he couldn’t handle

Well except this dead bug that practically made him gag

He needed you to dispose of it ASAP so you did and then proceeded to scrub your hands clean for his sake

A clean Sakusa was a happy Sakusa

Everything smelled so nice and fresh and clean

The two of you loved it but now the only thing that was very dirty in the house was the two of you

It took a lot of effort, mostly from Sakusa, to clean the entire house but it was worth it

The two of you took a shower together and he made sure you felt good and was cleaned thoroughly

You took turns washing each other and he melted under your touch as you massaged his shoulders

He knew he didn’t deserve you

After drying off and getting dressed in clean clothes, he took you by the hand and let you to bed

Everything felt so clean and fresh wow

He was in heaven

And knowing you were clean too?

Even better

He wrapped his arms around you, tangled your legs with his beneath the blankets, feeling your soft breath tickle his skin

He was finally able to relax knowing everything around him was perfect

The two of you slowly dozed off in bed as the afternoon sun slowly began to set, resting after exhausting a lot of effort into today

He would play with your hair, but only just a little bit since he refused to touch other people

It was very soft and he liked how it felt

But now it was worth it since he got to hold you and not be worried about a single thing yet

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

Tags (send me an ask if you wanna be tagged for all my haikyuu posts): @yams046  @mazey-chan  @sunboikyo00  @kara-grayson04​  @fortheloveofbakugo​

[seita]

some coping mechanism are wrong and do need to be discussed or changed!! neurodivergency doesn’t give u an excuse to hurt or trigger others!! coping mechanisms don’t exist in vaccums... and you and ur followers are harming real people by saying such

i was going to ignore most everything i got on the subject because quite frankly i'm over it. every opposing take either doesn't make sense, is completely ignorant, or is just plain stupid.

this one? is just idiocy.

so i'm gonna take the time to explain some things to you.

i cannot begun to express the ignorance and privilege that is seeped into every single word of this ask. i am actually baffled that you genuinely thought that this was, in any way shape or form, okay. or that you even thought this was a hot take at all.

you do not have any jurisdiction or power to tell other people that the way they cope is wrong. that is so beyond disgusting.

do you know why people choose to write dark content to cope?

a few reasons that range from: gives power/comfort over their trauma to lets them release emotions that otherwise have no outlet.

beyond that is that some people don’t have the resources or support system needed to cope in other ways. all they may have is a pen and paper or a laptop. they may not live in a home where they were believed, they may still be trapped with their abuser, or they may just plain not be able to afford therapy.

but do you know what the fun thing is? plenty of these people who choose to cope in this way are advised by their therapists to do it. like myself.

i used to write in little notebooks as a child -- really dark, foul shit and i didn’t understand why i did it. i talked to my therapist and i was told it’s a great outlet! i have to say writing is probably one of the top reasons i managed to get to the space i am in today.

when i learned the wonders of the internet growing up, i also sought out to READ the content. of course, it was very hard to find because of people like you who do nothing but shame it simply because of the real world values the crimes possess and for some reason refuse to see it in a fictional, helpful way.

it’s a very real and very valid coping mechanism: both reading and writing are incredibly beneficial.

this outlet also helps people just the same as it can hurt people. i don’t know who or what you think you’re doing but survivors who are triggered by the content of a darker nature WILL NOT CLICK ON IT TO READ IT. why are you acting like survivors and victims are brainless, mindless idiots who will read something clearly labeled with their triggers as if there’s some invisible force dictating them too?

and who are you? a highschool student? a college student? a therapist? what right gives you, a random person on the internet, to dictate something that has been ADVISED and PROVEN to help with coping to trauma to deem it wrong?

im gonna go ahead and say your morality. nothing beyond that.

you see dark content as just disgusting porn fucked up people jerk off to but it’s beyond that. and very obviously something you do not understand and most likely refuse to understand.

you think because you think something is wrong that it should be wrong all around. you don’t like it so it shouldn’t be done.

i hate to break it to you but the real world isn’t going to cater to you. i sure as fuck won’t. i’m not in charge of making you feel happy or content on the internet. if you log on to your computer and expect people to babysit you and make you feel comforted and safe -- you’re doing the internet wrong.

you only choose to see the negative side to this. you see that people can be triggered or hurt by this content and that’s valid. people can and will be. but there’s also a HUGE number that people like you choose to ignore and invalidate under the guise of protecting survivors only to hurt them at the same time. it doesn’t make sense.

you’re not trying to advocate and protect people -- you’re trying to make the fandom and content match up to your puritan ideals and fantasies. the world isn’t like that. people are always going to do things you don’t like and have opposing opinions on things. stop trying to act like you’re doing this for the greater good -- a martyr, hero complex isn’t a cute look and we can see exactly what you’re doing.

i don’t understand why it’s so hard to accept that dark content does not have as big of a negative impact as you think it does.

i also don’t understand how other survivors can see what people like me do and tell us we’re wrong. i don’t go out of my way to shame you and say “oh you don’t like dark content? weird.” i mind my own fucking business and stay away from blogs that don’t want to interact with dark content writers.

i am respectful always. i never attack people for having opposing opinions. i never attack people personally. people who write dark content don’t do that shit.

you know who does?

your side.

you know what someone said to me in an effort to shame me and bully me for writing what i write? they called my writing shit -- the thing i use to cope and help other cope. i’ve never gone on anon or off anon and told someone their writing was shit.

i also had someone ask me why i think being a victim made me special. i’m gonna let you sit and figure out exactly what is wrong with that question.

those are the types of people you’re enabling and encouraging. if you people just left dark writers alone we wouldn’t hurt anyone. you all preach this shit about how dark content is SOOOOO easily availble anyone can read it. that is false. the only way to find dark content is to ALREADY BE ASSOCIATING WITH PEOPLE WHO CREATE OR CONSUME DARK CONTENT. it’s not tagged in the main tags. it will not show up in your orbit or be blasted on your page because someone posted it.

and then you people say “oh minors will be convinced it’s okay!!!” no. minors aren’t as stupid as you seem to think they are. they fully know and understand exactly what they’re getting into. they see the word rape and know in real life THAT’S BAD.

you don’t want a slasher film and think  “oh wow look at him killin all those people but not getting caught I COULD DO THAT TOO!!!!” no. you don’t. because you know it’s wrong.

y’all are so high up on you moral horse that you think everyone around you is fucking stupid and has no common sense.

if someone thinks what they read in fiction makes it okay in real life, there was already something wrong with them to begin with.

but no, you’ll pull out anything on earth to try and get your point across. from secondhand trauma to it just being offensive.

and i hate to be the one to tell you this but...all this crusading is doing basically nothing in the long run. you know what happened yesterday from being called out? i lost 9 followers.

and then i gained 20. and now im only 100 away from 16,000.

what did all of this achieve? what does any of this even do?

whenever you people do this what exactly is it you want? do you expect us to just...stop...because you don’t like it? are you really so self-centered and self-righteous that you think you’re THAT important. do you really believe your opinion and voice is the loudest and most important to consider?

because it really isn’t.

just as you’re sitting here telling me you’re wanting to protect people -- i’m wanting to help people. do you know how many people i’ve had thank me for making them feel better about their owwn fantasies that they’d previously been ashamed of because they’re a victim? or how many people thank me for providing the content they rely on to cope?

i’m gonna go ahead and say those are the people i want to help. those are the people i care about. and i don’t know what it’s gonna take for you people to understand that i will not stop until i DECIDE to.

this is the internet. none of your opinions or words have any long-lasting, realistic effect on me, my person, or my life. i could delete my blog and in a month nothing any of you have said to me over this course of time will have impacted me in the long term. of course, other people are more sensitive and can get hurt by this discourse.

but i don’t. i’m a lot more stubborn and thick-skinned than you people may seem to realize.

your words will continue to go in one ear and out the other. i know where i stand. i know where i want to remain.

your morality nor your opinions are blanket rules that everyone should abide by. get some perspective and learn your place in the world before speaking on things you clearly cannot understand.

[wordsfromthesol]

The Undercover Job

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @zphilophobiaz​ Pairing: Batsis!Reader Summary: You were itching to get back in the field, so you went undercover without telling your family. No one was too happy when you came to them for help.   Warnings: Language, I think that's it? Word Count: 1.3k

Everyone sat around the conference room table, though no one was really waiting for you to begin. "So there's a big shipment coming in for Roman Sionis." You blurted out in an attempt to shut everyone up.

"That's it?" Jason pushed you for more information. He knew that you wouldn't call them all here for something as trivial as a drug shipment.

"That's it." You attempted to play it off, but got an stern disapproving look from Barbara. When you didn't push forward with your explanation she decided to pipe in.

"Y/N. I think it's time to tell them." Everyone looked around the table with concern and confusion in their eyes. Yet a slight since of relief washed over them once they realized no one at the table understood what Babs was talking about. "Y/N." The sound of your name grated against your ears. You knew there was no getting out of this.

"So I've been undercover…" You reluctantly began while glaring at Barbara.  

"Where?" Jason's guttural tone made you dread the recollection of your time under Black Mask.

"Vulcanalia. But that's not --"

"Babs, you knew?" Dick's heart looked broken that Barbara had kept your secret.

"I found out, and Y/N made me promise not to say anything. Be grateful she's coming to you now. Without me, she wouldn't have." She tried to make Dick see reason, but everyone there could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Alright. A shipment." Tim attempted to get everyone back on track, despite the turmoil flooding through the room.   "Why did you need to call us in? What's special about this shipment?"

"I don't think he's dealing just in drugs anymore." You pulled up the building plans for the nightclub on the computer. "There's a room back here." You pointed to a black space, "he won't let any employees go. But I've noticed several…let's just say unsavory characters headed back there."

"Maybe that's just where he does business." Jason spat out the obvious solution, his vexation still blatantly written across his features.

"I thought that, until I bugged one of the guys going back there. Babs was able to pick up children's voices before it cut off." The room got eerily quiet, until finally Cassandra spoke up.

"Well, what the fuck is the plan then?" All eyes turned to you as soon as the question left her lips.

"I need help getting intel. He'll be distracted from 10 to about 11, as long as nothing drastic happens."

"Drastic, as in…?" Dick spoke up in an effort to help.

"Clients walking in. I'm going to need two people posted outside to prevent this."

"Easy, Damian and Cass." Dick didn't hesitant to start doling out the responsibilities.

"I will not babysit a door." Damian huffed out as he folded his arms in front of his chest. "You are underutilizing my skills."

"Dami, you and Cass are underage. It will be too obvious if you are inside." Cassandra looked at you, clearly agitated, but neither of them could argue with your logic.

"So what, they stand watch while you go check out the room?" The agitation in Jason's voice had only mildly subsided.

"No, someone else will have to check that out. But I want everyone there. I don't know what to expect."

"Something is messing with our tech down there. You guys will be blind until you set up these boosters I made." Babs pulled a bag from the floor and collapsed it on the table. "Even then, I might not be able to help. We don't know anything about what's down there and I've refused to let Y/N go in alone."

Your eyes circled the table, nearly everyone seemed on board with the plan. Your gaze lingered on Stephanie, whose eyes bored into the table below. "Steph? Are you okay?"

"I just wish you would've told us. He nearly killed me…he's nearly killed a lot of us." Stephanie mumbled the explanation under her breath.

"I know. The opportunity hit and…I couldn't pass it up. It's Roman."

"He hasn't made you kill anyone, right?" Anguish filled her eyes as she met your gaze.

"No. It's not that type of work. I'm staffed at his club, not his gang." You attempted to reassure your friends and family as they sat around the table pondering the new information.

**

You had two days to gather information before the big shipment arrived. Your worry was that the shipment contained kids and if that was the case, things were going to get real messy real quick. You were getting ready for the show, when Babs came into the room.

"We should have told them sooner. Dick is still looking at me like a sad puppy."

"He'll get over it. They all will." You waved off the notation as you continued spreading the makeup across your face.

"Why didn't you want to tell them?" Barbara asked the question you had been dreading since she found out about your undercover gig.

"Because they haven't let me back in the field since…" your voice choked up, but you forced the words from your lips. "I need to get back. And this is a way I can do that without being directly in danger."

"Y/N, it's Roman. You are in direct danger."

"Maybe as Eclipse I would be. But not as Y/N."

"How do you know --" You cut her off immediately.

"I know you've been watching and listening since you found out. So you know how."

"Jason's going to kill him when he sees the way he looks at you. They all will." Barbara warned as she wheeled out of the room. You attempted to shrug off the comment, but you already understood that risk. Though you were glad Damian wouldn't be inside. At least that was one less person to worry about killing Roman.

**

"So why exactly will he be distracted?" Dick questioned as Barbara joined him at the table.

"He'll be too busy watching the performance." Barbara was unsure just how much she should tell him.

"Performance…?" Dick further questioned as he watched you take the stage a few minutes later.

"Why is Y/N on stage?" Jason mumbled through the coms as he sat in wait at the bar.

"Oh but look at the dress!" Stephanie tried to redirect the conversation, but Tim was too quick on the rebuttal.

"Look at Roman." One by one all eyes turned to him. His gaze would make anyone's skin crawl and his marauding stare was focused on you.

"I'm going to kill him." Jason seethed through his teeth.

"We can all join in on the fun. After the kids are safe." Tim supported his older brother's statement without hesitation, but was sure to remind everyone of their intention. Of why you were at risk in the first place. Before anyone else could argue the bar fell silent as your melodic voice rang through the room.

"Babs…did you --" Dick sat there awestruck.

"Nope that talent is all hers." Barbara answered his unfinished question. She looked around the room and realized Jason and Tim were frozen. They were wasting their chance. "Hmph…Jason…Tim." She growled in an attempt to shake them from the trance.

"How did none of us know?" Tim whispered as he made his way to the secret room.

"I hope your statement does not include me." Damian's voice resonated through their coms.

"How did the demon know before us?" Before anyone could answer Jason, he continued. "We're in. Placing ..z.zz.zzz. boosters ..z..zzz.zz"

"Y/N sings on stake-outs, slow patrols…I often tune into her frequency."

"Wow. I think that's the most emotion I've ever heard from Damian." Stephanie commented as she made her way to the bar, keeping a watchful eye on Roman.

"Except anger. Or vengeance." Cass mumbled, forcing everyone to stifle their laughter. "Has anyone heard from dumb and dumber?"

"Shit."  The single word left Dick's mouth just as your song ended.

[ryuichirou]

What happened is everything ok regarding aot? I follow u on twitter

Yeeeah about that…

It’s the same old thing: we got some negative “ew what the fuck” type of comments under our recent (non-snk) art, and this time both of us (hysterically, tbh) snapped. We had A BLAST this weekend, and then, when this happened, reality hit us really hard because of the contrast. Suddenly we got a very clear realisation that we’re done with getting treated like shit for simply posting stuff that we like. Stuff that’s easily avoidable, easily blockable, easily ignorable. We spent over a year blocking people, ignoring comments, trying to be as civil as possible, and I can’t count the amount of times I repeated that this doesn’t matter and people who support us are the ones who do matter… and don’t get me wrong, this is still true. You guys are the ones who helped us a lot during those times and we would’ve probably stopped posting after our very post scolopendra!Eren post in 2019 if it weren’t for you.

But one can only tolerate this type of crap for so long, and we have reached our limit yesterday. We post art to have fun and for people to enjoy, so if posting it brings so much constant negativity, why bother? We don’t understand why we have to go through all this just to post two anime guys kissing/fucking/interacting in any way. Why do I have to block THOUSANDS of people? Why do I have to check the tag and block people there before they come to us in the comments? Why do I have to block them and all their friends and whatnot just to make sure they won’t bother us? I can spend up to three or four hours a day just blocking people instead of idk resting? Relaxing? Drawing, for fuck’s sake? Why is this the experience we get for posting drawings with anime boys?

You know, I love my drawings. We both do. We kinda like them a lot, they’re precious to us, we love the ideas we put behind them, so all those people can shove their “what the fuck”s up their asses. It’s unpleasant to see, and we’re tired of ignoring it. Imagine people randomly coming up to you to say that you’re a piece of shit from time to time once per day, just unprovoked. Yeah I can close my eyes and pretend it doesn’t happen, but for what? Why do I have to do that? I’m just a person. I draw stuff. It makes me happy to draw stuff that I like and to make Katsu happy as well. Just so you know, all this year that we’ve been posting art, we’ve been drawing together for ~6 hours every single day, without missing even one. That’s a lot of dedication. Nobody likes to be humiliated for that, esp when all the critique that you get is... you know what I get, you’ve seen it yourself. Maybe you’ve seen more stuff than I have.

I’m very neutral about things I don’t like/ship. I never say negative stuff about them, unless I get an ask about it, and even then we try to be as civil in the replies as possible. I also dedicate a lot of time to give at least some love to all the ships that don’t have a lot of content. I dedicate a lot of time to draw girls the way I want to see them. That’s what I get for my efforts. “Waste of talent”. Because they don’t like Ereri/Eruri/Zevi/whatever you wanna put here. Like wow, thanks for shitting on one of the few people who even bothered with drawing some rareship in the first place.

I know that it’s you guys who support us who’re the ones suffering the most in the end, you didn’t deserve this. I’m very sorry. But we have to worry about ourselves first.

That being said, I did say that we’d stop posting SnK-related content some time after the finale, so I guess it’s time. Like I mentioned, we had some other drawings we wanted to sketch and post, but no luck here I guess lol I’ll try to reply to all the asks that we have in our askbox though, so don’t worry about those.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll reiterate: we may come back to SnK in the future, and I’m almost sure we will. We love the manga so much, and the AUs, all this stuff. But it won’t happen in a couple of years or so haha, not because of the anti stuff, but because we want to get some fresh air and get back to it after we’ve forgotten it a lil bit. It’s more enjoyable that way.

I hope this doesn’t sound too dramatic lol but yeah, this is how the things are for now.