#writing fanfic as a way to avoid horrible trauma memories

[elialys]

I see a lot of controversy around Peter "accusing" Olivia of holding them back while still having feeling for Altlivia and also Olivia choosing Peter over her memories in season 4... What's you take on those?

Disclaimer: this answer contains a lot of sarcasm, the defensive 2012 beast in me has been awakened. I didn't even want to talk about this ever again, but DO I EVER LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES?

Not to sound ancient, but those controversies are nothing new, I’ve been in the fandom (here) since late 2010, I was there when those things happened live, I saw the fandom implode and people go insane over and over again, like, I have legit fandom PSTD from all the INSANITY that took place amongst fringe fans, especially during season 4.

One important thing to remember that explains a lot for EVERY controversy surrounding Peter and Olivia is that a lot of people hate Peter. Peter is just not well-liked. And I don’t say this to be dramatic, like I said, I’ve been around for over 12 years, I’ve seen and read many, many posts as to why Peter Bishop apparently is the worst character ever and how Olivia Dunham deserves so much more than him. Peter can’t do anything right. He couldn’t do anything right BEFORE he got manipulated into sleeping with the wrong Olivia, and he sure couldn’t do anything right after he erased himself from existence to save two universes.

One thing I personally love about Peter’s character is that he is FLAWED. Like, he’s a proper DUMBASS, despite being a genius. I don’t need perfect characters who never make mistakes. I need believable character with horrible childhood trauma who turn into fucked up adults who struggle and make mistakes because of all that trauma.

Peter saying those thing to Olivia in 3x14 is so cringe. Like, my boy. It’s been a month, Olivia still has bangs from her time Over There, give her a minute. And the whole thing with him having ‘feelings’ for Altlivia? I think it’s one of the WORST LINES ever written because it’s so badly explained and utilized. I have literally written thousands of words in various fanfics trying to explain it in a way that makes sense. But basically it’s one of those times when I roll my eyes at the fringe writers, not at the characters themselves, who are dependent on what those writers make them say or do.

I have been called out for ‘putting it all on the writers’ before when trying to defend Peter (and his relationship with Olivia), but I’m just being honest. The writers were not always consistent with their writing, especially with Peter’s character. They made him purposefully more dumb than he was originally written on several occasions because he needed to be for their plot to work. So yeah, I can explain it all with trauma and PTSD and him just being an idiot, but I’ll still never forgive the writers for doing him dirty so many times and making it so easy for people to hate him.

That being said, I like that Peter calls Olivia out a bit, even if it wasn’t the right time or the right way to do it in that episode. That’s just one of those things I love about their dynamic. Olivia can be extremely indecisive when it comes to her feelings and being vulnerable, and I love that Peter often puts her on the spot so that she stops avoiding things and deals with them. It’s not perfect, but it’s them.

Honestly I don’t even know if I want to discuss season 4 and “Olivia choosing Peter over her other life”. When that episode aired in 2012, it created so much discord within the fandom that I have genuine anxiety thinking back on it, I’m not even exaggerating. People got NASTY. I have spent hours defending Olivia back then, and I’m exhausted just thinking about doing it again.

All I’ll say is that for as much as people have always hated on Peter, people have also always hated on the concept of Olivia being in love, in any season. Don’t even get me started on Olivia being a MOTHER. Olivia apparently is not allowed to be in love or have a child. She should just be her badass self at all time, someone who will never ever ever make any decision based on feelings. Because no one has EVER made decisions that seemed questionable based on our emotions, clearly. Like, can we talk about how selfish Olivia was for half of season 2, not telling Peter about his origins because she was afraid he would leave? No we can’t because that’s about Peter and we don’t like Peter and Olivia Dunham can’t be selfish anyway, CORTEXIPHAN WOOOO!

I also find it funny how people always forget that Olivia didn’t even have a choice in what was happening to her memories in season 4. Yes, sure, she did say to Nina ‘I’m going to let things run their course’ but it’s not like she could have stopped it. Her memories were being rewritten no matter what, she just chose to embrace it rather than fight every second of it, in part because yeah, she was in love, and she was caught in her feelings, and ew ew ew how dare you Olivia.

Truth is, I was so put off by the fandom’s reaction to that whole storyline from s4 that I can’t think about it objectively, haven’t been able to for 10+ years. It’s definitely one of those times when I think the writers had an interesting idea and concept, and they fucked it up a bit in its execution, which led to A LOT of drama. Of course I can understand why people are upset and bothered by how it was done. I see their points and even agree with a lot of them. But I think it’s just as valid to accept Olivia’s ‘choice’ and the fact that she was a woman in love, and she was, let’s be honest, just horny for some Peter lovin’

[homicidalbrunette]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (TV), Star Trek Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: La'an Noonien-Singh & Number One | Una Chin-Riley Characters: La'an Noonien-Singh, Number One | Una Chin-Riley (Star Trek), the Gorn Additional Tags: Una saves La'an, La'an saves Una Summary:

Feelings don't change so much as they grow, evolve into new shapes and shades.

____

Part one (chapters 1 through 5) is set on the King when a 20 year old Una finds a 13 year old La'an on a derelict ship after being thrown away by the Gorn, and about how this beginning factors in to where they end up 18 years later. Read the notes in chapter one for descriptions of part two and three. Will eventually end up being a slash fic, but you can literally abandon ship before that happens if you're not into that.

Updating every Wednesday.

ATTENTION TO THE OTHER SIX PEOPLE WHO SHIP THESE TWO!  

This pairing is an interesting one, isn't it? There's a lot to consider and navigate, from that first encounter to years later. I noticed there isn't a lot of fics about the two of them, whether it's a & or a / so I thought I'd write one based on all the clues that were given in the first season, from Una inspiring La'an to join Starfleet, their similarities in characters and drive, and the way they both reflect on that first meeting. I found something very telling in La'an specifically saying it was Una who found her and in Una saying "I never see you as a child" for what La'an was like then as well as how Una views her years later.

I want to explore their beginning and the role they end up playing in one another's lives, that impedes for change, that one person showing each of them that they can trust someone, that they can let someone in when they are both always on the defensive. And then what that means when they come together on the Enterprise 18 years later, both established, mature women with all the life experience they've had since that first meeting.

Part one is primarily set in that beginning and the transitional time in their lives that follows. Part two will be when they are on the Enterprise and get to know one another as mutual adults and have the first hints of it becoming something more. Part three will be post season one, where they explore that new phase.

You can read the first part only if anything more intimate between them once they are both in their 30s isn't your jam, or keep reading if it is.

[jaydicksummerexchange]

JayDick Exchange: August 30, 2019

[ ❤ Works posted so far! ❤ ]

Here are today’s fanworks! Please leave a comment or kudos for the author if you enjoy their work. Authors/artists will be revealed August 31st!

Alternative Medicine by anonymous for salvadore [ART, Not Rated, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Injury, True Love's Kiss, was the intent, now he's gonna wake up!, Protectiveness, Protective Jason

Summary: Art for the prompt "True Love's Kiss". 

Standard Quarantine Protocols by anonymous for overratedantihero [FIC, Teen, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Quarantine, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Not What It Looks Like, Self-Esteem Issues, Dimension Travel, Angst 

Summary: Tension rises as Dick and Jason are forced into a quarantine together after being exposed to a foreign contamination. Takes place before Jason has been fully accepted back into the family.“

Dick smiles. A genuine smile that reaches the twinkle in his eyes. At this distance, Jason feels as if he can stare into those blue pools and drown. Death should not feel this good.”

Unravel (And Expose Us For The Fools We Are) by anonymous for scandalsavage [FIC, Explicit, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Bathroom Sex, Desperation, Anal Sex, Rough Sex, Alpha Dick Grayson, Omega Jason Todd, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Clothed Sex

Summary: Dick and Jason attend a Wayne Enterprises event in the middle of Jason's heat, and almost make it to the end without sneaking away. Almost. 

To Hell in a Hand Basket by anonymous for forgettheghosts [FIC, Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Murder, Mayhem, fear toxin, the besmirching of New Jersey, possible dub-con elements due to fuck-or-die type situation, POV Outsider, Undercover

Summary: Jason has been undercover for months working a very serious case. He is expecting Tim to help wrap things up, but gets Dick instead - which complicates things practically and emotionally.

Also, there is fear gas, puns, explosions and sex. Not necessarily in that order.

If it's important, do it yourself by anonymous for blackandbluegrayson [ART, Teen, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Light, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Jason is tired to see Dick getting hurt in love and all the bad relationship that have end in disaster. If anyone can't proprerly take care of Dick the way he deserve, he would do it. 

Meant to Be? by anonymous for GraySonOfGotham [FIC, Explicit, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: NSFW, Alternate Universe – Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Fantasy

Summary: A quick one-shot of star-crossed soulmates.

In Memory Of My Brother... by anonymous for Abbyromana [FIC, Teen, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Brother-Sister Relationships, Team Bonding, Idiots in Love, POV Alternating, I'm Bad At Summaries, Sorry Not Sorry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Child Neglect, To Be Edited, Fuuuck i suck at writing help, Flashbacks, Psychological Trauma, Rare Pairings, Pedophilia, hinted romance - Freeform

Summary: Cassandra knows something's up with her two older brothers. They constantly sneak out of the house when lights are out, they avoid each other at all cost and no one seems to know why. Well, not on her watch!

Envious Lips Speak the Truth by anonymous for Nottak [FIC, Mature, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: POV Dick Grayson, Case Fic, Attempted Murder, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Established Relationship, Miscommunication, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Coital Cuddling, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending

Summary: “Course, haven’t you heard the rumors? Little Red Hood is bitten by the love bug, anchored and moored to Gotham’s very own Richie Wayne.” He makes his tone as mocking as possible, cooing just to be extra annoying. With his hands clasped near his face, he puckers his lips.

It was an impulsive confession. Nightwing says it to get a rise. Out of Jason, out of Red Hood's fanboy. He never expects it to come back and bite him in the ass.

Our Hallowed Knight by anonymous for solomonara [FIC, Mature, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe – Fantasy, Swords & Sorcery, Talon!Dick, Canonical Character Death, Magic, Court of Owls, Knights – Freeform, Arkham Knights, Past Character Death 

Summary: In a world of ruin and foul magic, Jason struggles to uphold the ideals of the Arkham Knights.

[ Insert here a name related to the sea ] by anonymous for Gaygent37 [ART, G, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - The Little Mermaid Fusion, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Merman Dick!, Human Jason, I had no plans to draw, but – Freeform, I accidentally delete the fanfic I was going to submit, This drawing is horrible, I don't know draw, Strange hands, strange anatomy, Strange shading and lighting, I don't know what I do with my life, Fairy tales it's not my cup of tea, but I love mermaids and merman's, Well – Freeform, I love almost all semi-humanoid beings, I don't know how to draw male bodies, I prefer to draw female beings, Stiff bodies, Neon fins, I still don't know why I did this, AH – Freeform, yes – Freeform, The Exchange

Summary: Dick is a merman who meets Jason, who is just an unfortunate person who fell into the sea after his ship sank in a storm.

it's hard, so hard, to leave you alone by anonymous for kuro49 [FIC, Explicit, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Wife Jason Todd, Laundry, Face-Fucking, Kinky Domesticity, Exhibitionism Kink, Anal Sex, Overstimulation, Dirty Talk, Creampie, Fake/Pretend Relationship

Summary: Dick lets Jason in on a not-so secret fantasy of his.

Madam Red by anonymous for Airdanteine [FIC, Explicit, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Crossdressing, Undercover, Mafia AU

Summary: Tim needs help on an undercover mission and brings Dick in.

Too bad Tim didn't warn Dick how sexy ' Madam Red' really is. It's hard to resist the charm of the most respected Drag Queen in all of Gotham. Some how the fact that Red might be the infamous head of a rising Mob only makes the allure deadlier.

warm unfamiliar faces by anonymous for NitroJen [FIC, Mature, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe – Fantasy, Fae & Fairies, Alternate Universe – Royalty, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Gift: Treat 

Summary: "How do you fare, my dear knight?" he asks, reaching a hand out to Jason.

Swallowing his pride, Jason replies, "I've fared worse. And would have, had you not appeared."

past tense, future imperfect by anonymous for stevieraebarnes [FIC, Teen, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Trailer Spoilers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Speculation, Possibly Pre-Slash

Summary: Watching Jason is like staring through a twisted mirror at his past self. He doesn't want him to make the same mistakes.

To A Great Detective by anonymous for GavotteAndGigue [FIC, Teen, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Oblivious Dick, Blunt Jason, Jason doesn't know how to date, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Dating, Attempt at Humor, Idiots in Love 

Summary: Jason has no experience dating, so he asks Dick for some tips. 

And Dick is completely oblivious when the same exact tips are used on him.

it’s just you, you, and me  by anonymous for anoncitomikolino [FIC, Explicit, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Sex, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Selfcest, Intersex, intersex omega, Blow Jobs, Threesome - M/M/M, Penis In Vagina Sex, Life-Affirming Sex Accent 

Summary: The world is saved, thanks to a washed up hero, a hero searching for meaning, and a man searching for himself. There's only one way to celebrate.... Life-affirming sex!

[composeregg]

Hey I mean this gently but I wish you (and everyone tbh) would clarify what you mean when you say "anti". Because the problem is it means everything from "people who get mad if you include immoral acts in your story" to "people who think, actually romanticizing pedophilia, racism, and misogyny is bad even if the story itself is fake, because you are expressing those ideas as your own true beliefs." Saying "anti" on it's own is ambiguous because it's different depending on who is talking.

(I’m answering this publicly but if you want me to take it down just let me know and I will!)

So this is going to be heavily focused on the fandom sphere and specifically the drama I’ve seen surrounding Ao3 and their refusal to ban content.

My stance is basically “I do not give a fuck what you write, you’re allowed to do whatever you want with words and I will not stop you, just properly tag it and give warnings so I can filter it out so I don’t gotta see the stuff I do not want to see.” 

Obviously the stuff you listed is bad, I don’t support it, but things like that in fiction? with regards to the author’s own views? That need to be handled case-by-case. The issue with taking a stance as an “anti” is that from what I have seen, those people want to flat-out ban content like that, they want to get rid of it all. And that’s not feasible. And the line of what can stay and what can go varies from person to person.

If someone supports pedophilia, or racism, or misogyny, then that’s an issue to take up with that person. Where do we draw the line? Who gets to decide what is romanticizing those things? How do you know if that was the author’s intent or if they were trying to do something else, a poorly executed idea? It’s subjective, it’s impossible to implement one rule to deal with it all without causing collateral damage. And you can’t figure out the author’s beliefs solely on the basis of what they’ve written.

One of the fanfics I am proudest of, Event Horizon, is all about being in a dangerous relationship that makes you stop caring about yourself and makes you self destructive, and in the end, rather than confronting this and dealing with it maturely, a non-consensual memory wipe happens, leaving both characters hurt and hollow. That’s not me attempting to glorify those types of relationships, or the crossing of those boundaries, that’s me showing how messy things can be, but it could be read as support of that stuff by some, because I never have it debunked or anything. I rely on the readers’ ability to critically think, to deduce that “wow, that was fucked up and painful, and not a good relationship in any way, and it shouldn’t have gone like that.”

That’s my best personal example. I think it’s well-executed, and not glorifying, but some others would disagree. Some people don’t want anyone to ship Josh and Neku at all, because (to avoid spoilers for anyone else who reads this post, though really, if you follow me and don’t know twewy I don’t know why lol), the things that happened in the game supposedly make it inherently toxic, and Joshua’s position creates an imbalance of power.

Who gets to decide what can stay and what must go? What topics are allowed? What is the line? What is glorifying bad things, and what is asking readers to critically think? What is a vent fic dealing with trauma someone has gone through, and is that allowed? Are authors not allowed to use fiction to explore dark and otherwise taboo topics in a safe environment where people are not actually being harmed?

Antis of all types, in my experience, want the burden of answering these questions and policing content to fall on Ao3′s team. They want wide, sweeping bans. They hate that the underage and non-con warnings exist at all, or that incestous/pedophillic/abusive ships are allowed to be tagged and have a space on the archive. The thing is, that stuff would exist either way, and the warning system, the tagging system? It lets me filter that shit out. You don’t have to see it if you don’t want to. It’s only ever faulty when people don’t use it as intended. I never have to see Hanekoma/Joshua if I don’t want to, or Reigen/Mob, or Ritsu/Mob. I can sort all that shit out, and I do. People will do what they do, and I won’t stop them as long as they make sure I don’t have to see it.

Authors can be shitty, horrible people, and they can write their own views in, but that’s an issue with the person, not with the rules of what’s allowed and what’s not. If we ban misogynistic works, do we ban people from exploring the misogyny they’ve experienced? If we ban racism, do we ban PoC from exploring those topics in fiction? If we ban incest and pedophilia, do we ban survivors from using fiction as a coping method to deal with their trauma? If we ban ableism or queerphobia from being touched on, am I no longer allowed to write autistic queer characters facing real-life issues, because we wanted to stop someone else from publishing their actual views?

Bigoted people exist, and they will also write this stuff, but we cannot ban their content without hurting the rest. What we can do is think critically, and learn how to avoid what we don’t want to see, and maybe, if you can manage it, you might be able to engage in discussion with people who believe that sorta stuff, and change their minds. But that’s not your task, and you don’t have to read or engage in fiction that carries negative views or does not appeal to you. 

There’s a few posts that really express this thing well:

1 - “Is the author  dead? Is your baby in the bathwater?” (this is one of the best posts on this topic in my opinion)

2 - It is not the author’s fault if you read their fic that has been appropriately tagged with stuff you know will trigger you

3 - Having a black and white view of morality is not the approach that should be taken here

[qwertythepopstarian08]

JSAB AU Fanfic- Ghosts Still Breathe

A piece of psychological horror exploring some ghost and Fae lore... and where those lines blur. Last year I did a personal research project on Fae and other supernatural folklore, so I’ve been itching to write a piece on that.

The idea of a supernatural being replacing one’s child is one thing. But who’s in the wrong when said being believes it’s really your child?

It’s a delightfully creepy thought, isn’t it?

Gift for @wigglylefty and @plaquebeat , featuring their characters, Fresh and Blixer, respectively.

Warnings for gore, horror, paranoia, and slight angst. Implied bad ending and reference character death. There’s also a detailed scene that may trigger those with emetophobia, so be warned.

“Dad… is there something on my face?”

The high, soft voice breaks Fresh from his thoughts, and he blinks, his gaze landing on the memory before him.

The pink apparition smiles at him crookedly, its rosy-white eye alight with spectral energy, the edges of its form blurring and twisting just out of sight in a way that made Fresh sick to his stomach. It’s not right. It wore his son’s face like a smiling mask, yet it held none of his warmth, being nothing more than an empty husk of memories and energy.

The more he thought about it, the more this creature seemed to be a ghost….

All he could manage as a quiet utterance of, “What?” in response to the ghost’s question, his voice coming out a tad bit more nervous than he had meant for it to sound.

The echo of his son repeats itself, “Is there something on my face? You’ve been staring at me for the past two minutes.” A quiet laugh shook its form, and it hummed, “Seriously, though… what’s wrong?”

There’s an awkward pause, odd buzzing filling Fresh’s ears, an after-effect of the apparition’s echoed words. His ears flick downward, his eye’s glow dimming. He huffs curtly, “No… nothing’s wrong.”

Blixer’s ghost’s expression falls. “Oh…” It seems disappointed with the answer. The gaping wound in its neck almost seemed to grow, the gore and trauma slowly encroaching upon the remains of its untouched flesh. Its skin peels back, bubbling and seizing, shards jutting out at odd angles. Its voice is a whisper, “Okay… sorry I asked.”

Fresh knows by now that its emotions changed its form. A few times, when the ghost was happy and wound-free, he’d deluded himself into thinking it was his son standing before him. And yet... he was harshly reminded when he went to hug the circle, his hands passing through cold, empty air, a sour bile rising in his throat as its icy form passed through him, his insides practically  twisting in disgust and shock.

The first time this had occurred, he’d promptly gotten sick, trying to rid himself of the horrible visions as he saw the apparition in the corner of his eye, panicking at his sudden illness. Its entire face had been torn off, jagged claw marks still fresh and smelling heavily of blood. He vividly recalled that night, remembering himself... hunched over a hastily grabbed trash can, wheezing and hacking for hours on end, the cold claws of the ghost rubbing his back and whispering shaky, tearful reassurances to comfort him.

Its words only made him sicker.

Abruptly, he stood, his gaze downcast to avoid seeing the spirit. He heard it squeak in mild shock, but he merely hissed, “I’m going to bed. Your dad will be back to pick you up early in the morning, so you probably won’t see me tomorrow.”

“Oh…” The ghost winced. Its eye was foggy, blinded by the claws of a beast, yet it still seemed to see Fresh, its stare locked onto him, boring through his soul. It asked sadly, “You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”

Fresh said nothing, storming out of the room.

The reanimated memory watched him, its gaze saddened. 

“You never let me call you Dad anymore.” It stood, following Fresh. Its steps were soundless, though they still echoed and quaked through Fresh’s ears like thunder. “Have I done something wrong?”

Fresh forces himself to ignore it, yet its voice, so childlike and despaired and confused, pierces through his defenses, and he finds himself turning around before he can stop himself. He should get rid of this creature. It’s not Blixer. It never will be. He could send it away, and it, clueless to its own power, could wither away, thinking itself to have been abandoned.

And he’d never see it again. Of course, Kubix would miss the ghost, having fallen for its charade, but Fresh was confident that, after some explanations, the square would understand. They could rid themselves of the beast haunting them forever.

… but he couldn’t be cruel to his son. Not even a mockery of him.

He sighed shakily, running a hand through his hair. He quivered slightly as the thing approached. It stared up at him, its eye dull and lifeless, yet filled with the tiniest hint of sadness that made Fresh’s heart ache.

It sniffled, shivering, on the verge of sobbing, perhaps. “What did I do wrong?”

Fresh breaks down. “Nothing… you did nothing wrong.”

All at once, the ghost’s disguise renews itself. Its perfect replica of Blixer’s form sheds completely, before it builds itself back up, returning itself to the smiling child that it once was… and Fresh forgets its true nature all at once.

He pulls the ghost… the child… into a tearful embrace, silent.

Its form is ice cold, yet he fails to notice.

He whispers, “I was just upset earlier, that’s all… you didn’t upset me.”

The apparition smiles. It wraps its frigid arms around Fresh, its claws digging into his back. It draws blood, yet he fails to notice.

Its voice is laced with malice as it whispers, “I know.” Its talons dig deeper, as do its words. “You could never be mad at your son.”

[onewhoturns]

B H I K U Y Z for that fanfic ask thing :)

B: Any of your stories inspired by personalexperience?:: I’m positive this is not what you were asking for, but yeah. I’ve definitely used fic to process personal trauma before, in one way or another. One older fic included basically shot-for-shot a thing that happened to me when I was 22. There are certain elements of Iron & Gold that are hurt/comfort coping for me personally. (hi there TMI) On a more upbeat note, I’ve had some good flirty moments in my life as well, and some of that may have made it into some writing, I think?

H: How would you describe your style?:: All About That Tension

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (readingor writing)?:: again: All About That Tension.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come upwith?:: I have a horrible memory… Oh, I remember writing a fic for HP that involved basically everyone in Ginny’s family dying in a brutal attack and her witnessing the aftermath and being completely and utterly destroyed and devastated by it. That was pretty angsty for a #teen year old.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers andwhy you like them so much.:: Hm. That’s tough. I’m sure there are amazing fics that I read ages ago that I just don’t remember =/ What comes to mind first is @hirvitank of course, cause Waste got me onboard the emsider ship and into the Dishonored fandom. @poethrotsvitha singlehandedly convinced me to try my hand at reader fic, which I’d never had an interest in before. And I should probably try to find something saved on my ffnet but its 4:30 am and the first thing coming to mind is actually a pride and prejudice fic series I was reading recently by @cynicinafishbowl. Hirvi I love for the slowest of torturous slow burns. Poet for exquisitely well-researched setting (and sharing the fun facts of that research in footnotes) (and dirty dirty smut balanced well with conflict). Cynic for being absolutely hilarious and quick as a whip, with well-paced dialogue and witty narration. Fuck, I’d also want to include @hermiowngranger‘s oxenfree stuff, too. Excellent and heartbreaking.

Y: A character you want to protect.:: No one is safe.

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/readit? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?:: I don’t often read or write it, but I don’t go out of my way to avoid it either. As long as it works within the story, and isn’t just a ‘fuck this guy, let’s kill ‘em’ I’m pretty open to it. When it’s an obvious ‘fuck you’ to a specific character I’m a bit less interested. And yeah, sometimes I’m too delicate for the sads. Doesn’t mean I won’t one day want to see the angst, though.

Thanks for asking!

from this fandom ask meme

[scripttorture]

So, I’m writing a fanfic and in the show, people with powers are forced to join a Mafia. One character talks about helping to torture enemies. Eventually, they stop torturing and do see what they did as wrong (among other crimes they committed before defecting from crime). How might someone differ if they’d been forced to harm others as opposed to starting it on their own? And eventually they see violence as necessary in the Mafia but don’t thrive on it. How would I make this realistic?

I’ll help as much as I can, but I think sometimes source materials canleave fans in a pretty awkward position.

 Ifeel like that review of the use of torture in Captain America: The WinterSoldier is relevant here.

 By which I mean that sometimes, if we’re choosing to write fanfiction orcreate fanworks, we need to engage with and deal with problematic elements inthe source material. I can cover that in more depth if I know the sourcematerial (it’s worth mentioning a name but also giving details of the situationin case it’s something I haven’t seen).

 There are elements of this canon that seem…if not unrealistic then‘dubious’. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that there might not be a wayto make this totally realistic because of the canon you’re working within. Butthat’s really not on you. How you engage with it in your own work is.

 I don’t think there’s necessarily one ‘right’ way to approachproblematic canons. As with any writing it depends on the story.

 Some people just ignore or rewrite the canon for their story. Somepeople stick to it and change their story around the canon. Some peopletechnically stick to it but twist it as much as possible to support the storythey want to tell.

 None of those are ‘bad’ approaches in and of themselves though I thinkthey can be ‘bad’ for particular stories.

 The thing that’s standing out for me is the idea of someone being forcedto torture. Because from the details you’ve given……..it sounds like a narrativecop out. It gives me the impression that the creators wanted people tosympathise with this character andhave them do horrible things so they wrote a very lazy abuse narrative where thecharacter doesn’t have moral responsibility because they ‘had to’.

 I don’t think attempting a cheap sympathy grab for a torturer is ever a good idea.

 No ever has to.

 The idea that this character needed to be forced but at the same time didn’t regard tortureas wrong seems especially off kilter to me. It seems to come with theimplication that participating in torture ‘made them’ think it was OK. Andthat’s not how torture works.

 You really can’t force someone to change their mind. We can’t be forcedto think that something we find abhorrent is ‘alright’.

 People can be pressured but ultimately they make a choice. That choicetells you something about what they value. Some of those choices might be moreunderstandable to society at large: a great many would probably empathise witha character who choose to do something horrible because their own life or thelife of someone they loved was threatened.

 Do attacks like that happen? Yesbut they’re usually one off incidents within a larger context of torture, abuseand genocide.

 That’s because this is a really badway to have an organisation operate. If you need to threaten or torture yourtorturer every single time you want them to do something you may as well lockthem up and just employ the person you usedto threaten them.

 There’s leeway here, though it partly depends on the character andhow…wedded you are to the idea that they’re a good person ‘really’.

 The first thing that comes to mind is removing the element of force.This doesn’t necessarily mean the character decided they wanted to torturepeople. They were put in an environment where torture occurred regularly. Theysaw this and they realised that theythought they were less likely to end up as a victim if they became a torturertoo. (In reality this isn’t really the case but that’s another subject-)

 The character then managed to escape from that environment- defectingfrom crime. They’re no longer in such a threatening situation and suddenlytheir past actions might be a problem. What previously kept them ‘safe’ nowputs them in danger. So they twist the truth and say they ‘had to’, they wereforced.

 It’s not their fault ‘because’ they were afraid too.

 You could also probably write it as them making a conscious choice, notout of fear but because they thought joining the torturers would allow them toescape more quickly. That’s a smart and ruthless decision which, if it fits thecharacter, could also easily be tied into them outright lying about their rolein this ‘Mafia’.

 Another possibility is using the idea that they were threatened or hurtthemselves before attacking others. That they chose to torture to avoid beingtortured. But I think then you should stress just how useless that would be.The character would be less physically capable of torturing because of theirown injuries. Other character would have to ‘waste time’ doing this repeatedly.It would take a massive toll on the character’s physical and mental health-

 I wish I could come up with more scenarios but I feel as if the canonhas hobbled you in that regard.

 As for the effects- well this does come back to issue of ‘force’.Because realistically the more likely scenario isn’t ‘forced’ but ‘pressured’.

 There’s less scientific study of torturers generally. And torturersaren’t, as a rule, ‘forced’ to do what they do.

 If there are differences I don’t have any sources that cover them.

 I suspect that there wouldn’t be a lot of differences though. Theunderlying mechanism that we think causes symptoms in torturers would act regardlessof whether the torturer wanted to torture. It would act on someone who wasn’ttorturing but had to stand in the same room while the torturers were there.

 We think that torturers areaffected for the same reasons that people who witness traumatic eventssometimes are. Witnessing violence against human beings repeatedly istraumatic. It creates an automatic response in our brains that we can neithercontrol nor reduce. And no amount of belief changes the way we’re wired.

 So- perhaps predictably- the effects are going to be exactlythe same ones discussed in the Masterpost here.

 And looking at the Masterpost again has actually given me one finalidea.

 Memory problems are incredibly common in torture victims. They’re rarelyportrayed in fiction and when they are portrayed they’re not usually used accurately.

 Victims often have trouble remembering new information in an everydaycontext (forgetting appointments, keys, tasks at work etc). They sometimes havememory loss surrounding their torture (this is not commonly of the tortureitself but events immediately before and after though forgetting the tortureitself can happen). They often have intrusive memories, very vivid memories ofbeing tortured that are triggered by everyday things causing great distress.

 But the last major category of memory problems they experience is false memories.

 One of the experiments I’ve read on pain and memory really highlightedthis. They had a ‘high stress’ interrogation group who were asked to identifytheir interrogator the next day. Between 51-68% of them identified the wrongperson (the variation is down to which methods was used to id the interrogator).

 They were pointing to the wrong person and completely convinced theywere correct.

 In a torture context this effect can cause a lot of problems forprosecutors. Victims are oftenconfused about timings and about who exactly did what. They might also givecontradictory accounts of things like the rooms they were held in or really anydetails surrounding torture.

 So my suggestion is this- if this character chose to torture and was thenabused by someone within this organisation it’s perfectly possible that theymight come away believing their abuser ‘forced’ them to do it.

 It would be unusual, but this sort of memory problem can operate in thisway.

 You could suggest it in your writing by having the character giveinconsistent accounts of what happened to them, or by having what they saycontradicted by other people who were there.

 Discovering that they have false memories would be incrediblydistressing and the character might insist that their memories are all accurateand that other people are lying, or that video evidence etc ‘didn’t happen’.

 Whichever option you chose to go with (including just accepting thecanon, which is not particularly realistic but is a valid choice for fan fiction) the character would havesymptoms associated with being a torturer.

 Pick somewhere between 3-5 from the Masterpost and try to show themconsistently throughout the story. The character would probably learn to copewith and navigate their symptoms over time but that’s not the same thing as thesymptoms vanishing.

 For a fanfic I’d look to the canon to see if there’s any suggestion ofparticular trauma symptoms, however poorly handled. For instance if I waswriting a Marvel fanfic I’d probably choose to give Tony Stark addictionproblems because multiple canons have him struggling with alcoholism. If I waswriting Voltron I might choose to give Keith mood swings and show Shirodissociating, because again that seems to fit what the canon shows of thecharacter’s reactions.

 Beyond that my advice is the same as for any other fiction: choosesymptoms that you feel add something to the story or character. Things thatfurther the narrative and provide interesting challenges.

 I hope that helps. And if you’d like to discuss this story in moredetail feel free to send in more questions when the ask box reopens. :)

Disclaimer

[sandalaris]

Fanfic Tropes Asks: Amnesia, Past Fic, Sex Pollen, Historical AU and In Vino Veritas? 💖💖💖

Amnesia:

Probably not, no. I don’t really read amnesia fics either, they just don’t interest me enough *shrug*

That being said, very recently I was reading a book where two characters would sort of go into a mental trauma and face the memories and I remember thinking as I read it that it would be interesting if the character who’s trauma is was they were facing actually had no recollection of the time they spent together inside his memories afterwards, and how the story could’ve spun off from there. Especially considering the other person started off disliking the one who’s memories/trauma they were fighting and slowly came to understand them and develop a bond with them in part due to said memories. But that’s probably the closest I’ve ever come to thinking out an amnesia plot.

Past Fic:

Like a prequel? Or even just set before canon? They yeah, I’d probably write it. Not sure for which fandom or anything, but I’d be open to it. I probably wouldn’t do a “these two character secretly knew each other before the officially met on screen” sort of thing, unless I felt there was a strong hint to it in the show/book/movie. And I definitely wouldn’t write a “these two characters used to date before canon takes place and now they don’t” with my OTP. I like to get characters together and keep them that way :P

I wouldn’t mind doing a pre-canon AU though. I’ve thought about writing one for Community before, where things sort of veer off from canon before the show ever starts. I might still someday write it, although it’s a little dark. Mainly because a Jeff who stayed a lawyer would be an even bigger amoral asshole.

Unless you mean just sort of set a bit in the past, like toss modern day characters into the 1970′s. Then it depends on the fandom. I’d write it for FDtD for example, but not for Leverage.

Sex Pollen:

I love to read it, but I’ve never written it. I would though, if I got the inspiration for it. For just about any ship I have, I’d write something where something magic/tech/science/paranormal causes my OTP to sleep together, but I would probably have more fun diving into the aftermath. I may or may not write the actual exposure and reactions, which may or may not include the characters actually sleeping together (maybe someone else got involved and separated them until the effects wore off but not before some confessions/realizations happened, especially if only one person was really affected and the other is now needs to work out what to do with their new found knowledge/realization, or maybe I’d still with traditional and the just have sex), but I would for sure write the aftermath of “now what?”

I feel like it would play out better with some ships than others though. (These are subject to change with more thought about characterization and such)

Kastle would work really well, particularly for a longer fic: Frank would try to sweep it under the rug, see it as something that was done to them and try and destroy the people/company that made the drug/serum/whatever that caused it. Karen would want to actually take the time to talk about the emotional implications and what this means, she’s by far the more emotionally aware of the two. Frank would continue to deflect and avoid, all while referring to it as some attack inflicted upon them, which would hurt Karen to hear because even if it was by no means a good thing or something she wishes to be exposed to again, she wouldn’t say the two them sleeping together is this bad horrible no-good very bad thing either. This would go on until things got back to the status quo... almost, because Karen can’t and won’t let this go completely. She will let him retreat and hide behind his “mission” but they are going to come back to this.

SethKate would be kind of a middle ground: Depending on when it happened, Kate would probably have some kind of a freak out. She probably won’t actually want to talk about it, she doesn’t often want to talk about her own issues/trauma in the show, avoiding them or mentioning things only when comparing to other people’s. Like how she only tells Seth about her dad when pointing out that he’s not only one to have lost family in the Twister. I wouldn’t go so far as to say she’d want to avoid the subject, but she probably wouldn’t be initiating any conversations about it either. Seth wouldn’t necessarily want to have some big discussion, but depending on when it happened he would either want answers about what this means for them (particularly if they’ve been working towards something) and therefore try and bring it up, think its somehow his fault and that Kate must be mad/blame him/hate him, have is his various issues be stirred up and need to be talked down, or some combination of those. Reassurance would need to be given on both sides, but eventually they’d work through it.

Jeff/Annie would be a bad choice as sleeping together would not be enough to change the pattern they have going on. *sigh* I swear.

Bethyl would be a good one-shot choice. Daryl would silently freak out, but Beth would take charge after, which would be a good thing as she’d need to feel in control again, and Daryl would need to feel like someone he trusts is taking the reins. Beth would talk and Daryl would listen and they’d come out closer in the end.

Historical AU:

I would love to! I also don’t think I could do one justice because I feel like I’d fail to do enough/proper research. :/ I’m just not very good with history, its never been my strong suit. But i would seriously love to write one some day. There are so many ways to go with it too, too many different ways to take it, so many fandoms it would work with.

In Vino Veritas:

Maybe? Drunken confession are always fun, but I’m not sure what fandom I’d write it for. I suppose Seth, high off pain killers after a job gone wrong, saying something to Kate would be fun to explore. She knew he liked her, but Seth’s typically shows his affection over telling it. So having him muttering happily about her various aspects, mostly flattering (her hands are not that small!), and what he wants, well, it cleared up more than a few questions. Or maybe Richie, who didn’t realize that particular herb had a drunken affect on culebras, suddenly demanding to know when Kate’s gonna make an honest man out of his brother, because it’s been painful watching them, sparks a conversation between her and Seth. Or maybe I’d go a different way, and Freddie has to listen to a drunken Dakota go off about how much she hates that she can’t get justice for her dad and this culebra shit is just insane, he does realize that right? And working with them? That’s just- just, she didn’t sign up for it. And Richie! She definitely didn’t sign up for Richie and his broad chest and his stupidly hot face, and she hasn’t gotten laid in like six months-

Freddie, desperately pulling out his wallet and signaling to the bartender: OK, I think that’s enough for now.