#writing these out helped me with my own bias though not gonna lie

[blushweddinggowns]

Some context expansions. I write explicit works and am angling for another Dom Eddie so that's a factor. And I don't do unhappy endings. I do morally ambiguous endings, but always happy for the boys.

Option 1. Rockstar Eddie falling for a completely oblivious Steve and trying to hide his fame to have a normal relationship because Steve has a celebrity vendetta. (Alternate Universe)

Option 2. Established Relationship Steddie dealing with the after effects of an overly affectionate, aggressive, and protective Kas Eddie. (In Universe)

Option 3. Married "ready to leave my wife for you" Steve cheating with "i can not handle that kind of pressure" Eddie, (In Universe)

Option 4. Adult siblings Robin and Eddie with single dad Eddie begging for a babysitter rec, which Robin gives in the form of her bestfriend that she's never let Eddie meet, on the one condition that you do NOT fuck her best friend. He does not follow this condition. (Alternate Universe)

Option 5. Pirate Eddie escorting cursed Prince Steve overseas for a possible cure to an unknown affliction, with explicit instructions to kill him if it doesn't work. And to ignore any singing you may here at night with him on board. And a whole other list of strange details. (Alternate Universe)

[desi2go]

First little crush

pairing: Felix x reader

warning: just pure fluff!

authour's note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIXIEEEE! Y'all don't know but he was the one that brought me into kpop and Stray Kids with his deep as fuck voice. He was also my first bias before Chan stole my heart <3 So he owns a very special place in my heart <3<3<3<3

Even if Felix wouldn't want to accept it at first, he must admit that during the time in college, he somehow got feelings for you, one of his closest friends since he stepped into the classroom for the first time. It happened unintentional but here he was. But he was way too shy to ask you out, fearing that you might not feel the same and cut down your friendship at all.

Instead, Felix puts little notes on your desk in your next class during lunch when you were with your other friends, always leaving you something to come back to. Just a little writing to remind you that he likes the way your hair looks today or how nice your new earrings are. Even if you just smiled so pretty for a second, he would put it on the note.

It was not the only thing he did secretly. After watching some sappy romantic movies with Changbin, he copied some methods to show you how much he liked you, even if you didn't know who it was.

From time to time, you found flowers, your favourite ones, left outside of your dorm room, between some flowers was a note with sweet nothings, making your heart warm and fluffy. Chocolates were placed gently in your locker, a red ribbon tied securely around it. They were always your favourite and you wondered every time you got some, who sended them to you and exactly knew what kind you liked.

You would lie when you say that you knew who it was. In fact, you had absolutely NO idea who it is, not even in the slightest. There was nobody that looked at you different or seemed to have feelings for you. The idea of your secret admirer being Felix never crossed your mind. Even when you silently hoped that it was him but you weren't gonna to say that out loud. It didn't seem like he had any interest so you definitely aren't going to bring that up.

Seungmin and Yeongin teased you relentlessly, making fun of who your secret lover could be. And they were just as unknowing.

After some time, they had enough. It took them all too long for your lover to reveal his identity and they decided to find out on their own. They observed your locker like a treasure, always keeping an eye on it and they even wrangled Minho and Hyunjin into helping them finding the culprit.

They took shifts in watching your locker, observing the environment if someone looked suspicious. The only time, they left the locker alone was at night and when you all had class. These were the only opportunities for Felix to put you some treats into it in secret. He felt like a ninja on a special mission, fearing that someone could see him.

Even though Hyunjin commented that everytime they left the classroom it was always Felix who was the last one to leave. But you just laughed it off - not paying any attention to his suggestion since there was no way that he could be your Romeo.

Felix felt increasingly anxious and freaking out as he watches you and his friends attempting to work out who is leaving you all these little gifts. He even compared you to Sherlock Holmes but he must admit that Holmes was more successful. Silently, smug with himself.

But all the work was worth it as soon as he saw your eyes light up each time you received something new from him. Mindlessly, he scribbles in his notes images of you, drawing your beautiful face and that angelic smile that slowed down his whole world. They never looked good enough compared to the real version. Plus, he wasn't as talented as Hyunjin but at least you could tell who he pictured. He never showed his friends his drawings, immediatly grabbing his notes and hiding it when someone tried to sneek a glance over his shoulder.

One time, he gifted you a box and when he saw a little red ribbon in your hair the next day, he nearly lost it. He was on cloud nine - seeing you wearing something that he had gifted to you. Of course, you were doing it unknowingly but it has happened none the less.

From that moment, he decided that wants - no needs - to buy everything for you. He wanted everything you would wear to come from him. Every piece of food you eat he needed to buy.

However, Hyunjin grew even more suspicious and one day, he claimed that he would get proof of her suspicion. One thing that Felix learned while being friends with him was that as soon as he had a goal, he was going to achieve it. No matter what. And Felix knows it is just a matter of time, the clock was ticking.

So, he was left with only two options - confess or get caught red handed.

Hours were spended on the internet - searching for the right answer without success. Heck, he even watched more of the romantic movies with Changbin but he is still having trouble.

He couldn't go to Chan - his friend was even more helpless than he is with approaching his crush. So there was only one choice when he didn't want to get caught from Hyunjin. Confessing.

He held his breath as he knocked on your dorm room door, hands sweaty and shaking. A beautiful bouquet in his hands as he waited for you to open.

He had his words worked out, after hours of thinking. He had practised in front of his mirror before coming to you. Every word from his planned out confession got lost in head when he sees the door opening and you peeked outside. Nervously, he swallowed, opening his mouth to start confessing but not one sound came out, not one word.

He catched the small smirk on your face when you examined the bouquet.

"Are these for me?" The slight teasing was obvious in your voice - but not uncomfortable. However, it still made him blush harder.

Felix still couldn't find his words, in his head was only a turmoil, so, he nodded shortly and pushed the flowers towards your arms. He avoided your gaze with burying his head in his own shoulder.

You smiled and let out a small chuckle as you observed the sweet smelling flowers in your hands. You noticed that this one was much bigger than the normal ones he usually laid in front of your door - he had really outdone himself with that.

Silently, he watched you glide back into your dorm room - setting up the vase for the flowers he had just gifted you. It never left its place since you got so many bouquets over the months. In the meantime, he stood ridged in your doorway, fiddling with his fingers.

Again, your head poked out with a smile and a sweet blush on your cheeks. "Are you going to come in?" you asked and he completely froze for a moment. He definitely never thought about you accepting his mixed up and embarissing confession. But when he processed your words, he was quick to follow you with fast steps in case you changed your opinion. He had never moved faster in all his life.

Hyunjin stood with Seungmin in a dark corner of the corridor, neither Felix or you had noticed them. Only their head peaked around the corner so that they could watch the scene unfold in front of their own eyes. Seungmin's eyes had doubled, blown wide, and his jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

"No way. He was the secret lover?!" Never in one million years he would have guessed that one of his friends was the admirer. He thought that Felix would be too shy to approach you, even gifting you something never crossed his mind.

Hyunjin just smirked in triumph. "I fucking knew it" he exclaimed laughing at Seungmin's expression.

"Well, give me my well earned money. A bet is a bet!" he added and Seungmin grumpily pulled his wallet out after rolling his eyes and handed his friend the money. He will never bet against Hyunjin, that was clear.

[shadowxamyweek]

Just wanted to mention how much I liked your Great write-up on the Amy rose eating disorder post. I haven’t even thought of her maybe having something like that. Though, it also makes me think of a scenario where shadow would learn about this. Him of all people should know the affect malnutrition has on the body, because of his time spent around Maria being sick on the ark. So just him reacting to Amy basically starving herself for beauty standards (and “sonic”) would be interesting to see.

(For context, in relation to this)

That is awesome to hear. I'm really glad it struck a cord with you.

I will say- it's fascinating to me the line of delineation between people who never thought of Amy in that light and people who have. I must add, most of what I have seen in the notes or my inbox about people who are like, 'I THOUGHT AMY HAD AN ED TOO!' also have had an eating disorder so like... interesting... interesting trend there. Got no stats for it, but like... yeah.

Is that confirmation bias? Is that just recognizing the signs? No idea. Haven't the faintest.

To your second point:

Shadow. Would. Be. Upset.

I'm not gonna say 'angry' because this wouldn't be just 'anger,' you know? This is that full body 'upset' where like, your bones hurt, your heart aches, your brain overheats trying to work out this puzzle of 'fucking why?' and it just can't. It might manifest at points in anger, but there's no place to realistically direct that anger at. Even if they're angry at how Sonic factors into this, it's not Sonic's fault. If Shadow was going to be angry about the lack of care and notice Amy's condition had raised, they'd be angry at everyone, because everyone either failed to notice or chose to do nothing.

That includes Shadow.

But also, that's still not the cause of what Amy is going through.

Everything about a situation like this just fucking sucks. Nobody wants to see someone they care for- in any capacity- hurt. Especially not like this.

But Shadow throws themselves into what they do. They like fixing things. They kinda need to, you know? Their identity is wrapped up in it (in a bad way- not gonna lie- want that critter to go to therapy but here we are.) What good are they as the ultimate life form if they can't wrangle the universe with their own two hands to produce a solution?

Frankly, I think most people are that way. That's why they ask, 'can I help?' even if there's nothing that can be physically done to help. I know I do that, too. It fucking sucks but sometimes, the best thing to just do is listen.

You can't take someone's sadness out of them and curb stomp it. You can't rip out someone's desire to hurt themself and snap it's neck. You can't take a person's body dysmorphia leave it bleeding in the streets. You wish you can, you'd give everything to be able to, but you can't.

And talking isn't much better. Lecturing would do nothing to help. Scolding and chiding is going to be bad. Browbeating would get the exact opposite effect desired. Threatening, bargaining, arguing, schooling- none of that will work. Furthermore, all of these come from a place of anger. We don't need anger in this moment. The person suffering through this is already angry enough- with themselves.

It just may be that Shadow listens and kneads dough at the same time, and when all the cooking is done, Shadow waits patiently for Amy to take the first bite before they, too, eat.

[pikemoreno]

lucky

pairing: marcus moreno x gn!reader

request: from @chibi-liz05​ “Can I request a Marcus Moreno fic (or ficlet, or drabble) where either Marcus or reader gets hurt (not seriously hurt) and end up in a med bay, kinda woozy from pain meds and they have a funny and/or cute conversation when the other one goes to check on the one hurt? Please.”

warnings: mentions of blood, injuries, death. it starts out pretty darn angsty, but gets silly and fluffy i promise. these two are hella married.

word count: 2.7k

a/n: honestly this is nothing like you asked for until the end? but this lil drabble idea inspired this whole one shot so i hope you enjoy what you helped my brain create? i loved this, needless to say.

i love this himbo and i’m so happy to write for him.

And thank you for the medical advice to @disgruntledspacedad! Thanks for helping me choose the right drug! 😆

wanna join a taglist? | masterlist

This was Marcus’s least favorite part of his job. 

As the newly deemed Director of the Heroics, he was the one to decide who went out on what mission when and with who. Normally it wasn’t too tall of an order. After all, he was chosen as director for good reason. He was perfect for the job. He was smart, organized, resourceful, and tried in everything to understand people-- whether that be in their personal habits or in their superpowered strengths. He was often commended for his ability to form the perfect teams for whatever job arose; and it came pretty naturally, it really did. 

That is, until emotion got involved, until personal bias compromised his decision making.

He was determined to not let you go on the mission, absolutely not. The band of powered individuals the team was going after were incredibly dangerous and unpredictable.They’d been a problem for months and this mission was all or nothing. The high stakes and vulnerable position made him incredibly reluctant to make you a part of the team that was heading out under the cover of night to apprehend them. When he didn’t name you among them, he was immediately countered by the rest of the heroes in the room about the choice. 

By all the accounts they were right. Given the tactics of the mission at hand, your teleportation abilities were perfect for the job. And if he was being even a little more honest, he’d agree with Miracle Guy that not sending you with them was a “disservice to the team.” It was and he knew it. In a very un-Marcus Moreno move, he was making the completely wrong choice and he wasn’t going to let the sound judgement of anyone else change his mind.

“Psion is not going and that is final,” he boomed. The room became deathly silent. “Now, go get ready. You leave in 20.” But no one moved, no one could. They were glued to the floor, watching their unflappable leader become uncharacteristically flapped. 

Marcus was the one to stomp out of the room first and you followed him without hesitation.

“Marcus,” you called, nearly running to keep up with long strides. “Marcus!” 

He didn’t even deign to turn around.

In a blink you were now in front of Marcus, hands out to stop him from continuing on without talking to you.

“No teleporting outside of work, Psion” he snapped lowly, but he still obliged your silent request and remained in front of you. You blinked at the small outburst.

“Mind losing the ‘tude so we can talk like adults?” You countered. Marcus lowered his head and whispered an apology. At that you stepped closer to him, your hands coming to rest on his tense shoulders in a soothing manner. “What’s bothering you, love? You know you can talk to me. This isn’t like you at all.”

When his eyes met yours again they were pained.

“It’s too dangerous,” was all he could get out at the moment. His exhale was unsteady as he leaned in, his forehead meeting yours in a much more “Marcus” gesture that brought you both back down to earth.

You sighed, fingers carding through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “Of course it is. It always is.”

“Not like this,” he countered, biting his lip. “These guys are no joke.”

“Neither am I,” you grinned, tapping his nose with your own before pulling back to look at his face in full. He laughed a little, but it wasn’t whole-hearted, you saw it in his eyes.

“And I trust you. I do. I know you’re capable. I just--”

“Worry?” 

“Yeah, that.” His eyebrows were furrowed. You softly ran a thumb across the harsh lines it made, smoothing them and making him smile.

“I’m not going to lie to you and say nothing is going to happen. Because it might.” He winced at the words, not wanting to think too hard on what “it” could be. “But I’m prepared and so is the rest of the team. We’re gonna watch each other’s backs like we always do and getting everyone out safely is going to be our priority over completing the mission. It’s going to be business as usual and it’s going to be OK. I’m going to be OK. You’ve gotta let me go. They need me out there tonight.”

“I know,” he sighed. “Just… Be careful. Be ready in 10.” You sighed in relief.

“Thank you, Marcus.” You kissed him. “It’s gonna be fine.” He kissed you. “We’ve got ‘em this time. I know it.” One last kiss, strong and lingering. You tilted your head, an invitation-- no, a plead-- for a deeper kiss, which he obliged before being the one to break it. 

“Go,” he murmured, “Or you won’t make it before they leave.” You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Be careful. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled through the sudden onset of nerves before turning and walking down the hallway to join up with the rest of the team.

***

That had been hours ago. Now Marcus was in command with a skeleton crew, the late hours of the assignment sending most of the support and technical team home. He quickly decided that was probably for the best. The sweet little interns did not need to see their mentor so stressed and antsy. No, he had to be “on” for them, he had to be the Marcus Moreno. And he couldn’t be that right now. Right now he was an anxious husband and teammate. 

“Where are they now, Connie?” he asked the poor woman at the comms desk behind him for the upteenth time that hour.

“Trackers say they’re still in the hanger, sir. Last update was that they had the grunts and were waiting for the ring leader to respond to their distress call.”

He wasn’t responding. It’d been two hours. And that was a major cause for concern.

“Tell them to just bring who they have back here and we’ll keep searching for him. This is still a win as far as I’m concerned.”

The man who was on comms moved to press the talk button to speak to the team, but the comm crackled to life before he had the opportunity. 

“It’s an ambush!” Miracle Guy yelled from the other side, “We’re sitting ducks out here!”

Marcus’ heart dropped into his stomach. 

“Go! Go! Get back to the-” He heard your panicked voice call out, the sentence interrupted by a cry of pain. 

The room spun. Marcus knew he was yelling but he couldn’t hear a word of what he said. It all just sounded like white noise now, mixing with the jumbled thoughts in his head and the ringing in his ears. He must’ve said something right though, because everyone was working. One was arranging a rescue, one was calling out the vitals of the team via the trackers on their wrists-- everything seemed fine by the tone of voice, but Marcus couldn’t be sure. He couldn’t grasp a word that was said to him. He was totally on autopilot, only able to respond in vague nods of yes or no. 

“Hey,” one voice next to him cut through the fog and he looked up to Lucas, the man who ran comms, “They’re going to be ok.”

Marcus’s response was non-committal, not wanting to pull the young man down to share his current state of mind, but not allowing himself to share in his confident optimism either.

The next hour went by in a whirlwind and the next thing he knew, Marcus was downstairs in the medical wing waiting on you and your team to arrive. He’d been in this position before and the thought of it made his throat close up. The images flashed through his mind of a gurney and too much blood and a confused little girl and black clothing on a rainy day in April. 

He closed his eyes harder as if to block it all out. 

No, it couldn’t be like last time.

It was then that he heard the distinct sound of the sliding doors opening and the murmur of a small group of people. His eyes shot open and, though he stood to his feet, he felt that he could collapse in relief. There was no gurney. Minimal blood-- just a couple of cuts on your face. You were hobbling in, arm around Miracle Guy as he helped you keep pressure off of your left leg. Your face was pained, which probably should have concerned him more, but he was just too happy to see you upright… Breathing. As long as he had that, you could get through anything else together. 

He watched as the medical team surrounded all of you, asking questions, prodding delicately at injuries. Marcus could vaguely hear your voice cutting in and out through it all. 

“Super strength… Kicked… Broken.” 

They had asked you a couple more unheard questions that you responded to in a simple yes or no and then they were leading you to sit on one of the beds. He watched as you went, noticing the way you were looking around for… Something.

Oh.

He smiled.

You were looking for him.

In all his panic and then relief, it hadn’t occurred to him that you would want to see him just as badly in your current state. His heart warmed at the way your tired eyes lit up when they met his. He all but ran to you. 

“Hey baby,” he cooed, leaning in to capture your lips in a deep kiss. He’d never been more in awe of you, that you were real, that way you were his, that he could kiss you freely. When he pulled away he observed your injuries closer. Head wounds were always scary amounts of bloody, but he could see that all of the cuts were minor. He brushed a strand of hair away from where sweat and blood had plastered it to your forehead. “What happened? How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better,” you hissed as a stab of pain surged through your leg. He looked down to observe it. His immediate diagnosis wasn’t a good one. It was terribly hard to break a femur, but he was certain this was exactly what it would look and feel like. “Some super-strength asshole kicked me in the thigh to knock me down and--” You winced again. “They think she broke my femur, and I would have to agree.”

“I have to say I’m thinking that too,” he sighed. “I’m so sorry.” He kissed your forehead in between the cuts.

“What are you sorry for? You’re the one that tried to keep me from going. I forced you to let me go.”

“I should’ve stood my ground and had you and the team be mad at me,” he said completely seriously. 

“You’re ridiculous.” You side-eyed him, but smiled through the words. One of the medical staff returned at that moment, bringing over supplies to clean your cuts and asking if you’d like something for the pain while they got prepped for surgery. You nodded eagerly. 

“I’ll take this over,” Marcus said, hands open to take the first aid kit, “If you want to go get that?”

“Oh, sir I couldn’t ask you to--” The young woman gawked, slightly unbelieving that her boss’s boss’s boss would volunteer to do her job.

“You’re not asking me, I’m asking you.”

“A-- Yes, right away.” She handed him the kit and seemed to flee his presence to get an IV ready. You sat in silence a few moments as he prepared everything. He seemed lost, even in this small task. It took him longer than it should’ve to get his ducks in a row.

“Someone’s a little edgy,” you prodded, watching as too-intense eyes focused on cleaning dried blood from your forehead. He shook his head, eyes softening, but maintaining their focus. The whole endeavor was very clearly an attempt at keeping his hands as busy as his mind was. 

“I’d thought I‘d lost you. I thought...” His jaw tightened-- and it wasn’t due to the effort of wiping up blood. You stopped his hand from continuing its ministrations, lacing your fingers together.

“That it was all happening again?” you whispered. 

“It was like deja vu, baby. Everything was just like before.” The last word almost came out like a whimper. 

“But it’s not. I’m right here. I’m ok.” You brought your forehead to meet his comfortingly. The cuts stung just a little at the touch, but you remained there with him, feeling a deep, grounding breath fan lightly across your face.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You kissed his nose and pulled away as you heard the medic return with the Versed for the pain. Marcus stayed right by your side as you were put on the IV, a hand staying firmly on yours. Which more for him than for you if he was honest. It brought him back to reality and out of his head. He no longer had to imagine the worst, because the best had happened. You were really there. It wasn’t a repeat of the aching horror of seven years before, the day that still had you shaking him awake from unspoken nightmares. You’d made it home to him and Missy-- but he was going to be hard-pressed to go against his better judgment again, no matter how much the team needed you.

“Alright, you’ll start to feel it in just a few seconds. We’ll be back soon to take you into surgery, ok?” the medic explained to you as the IV was in place. You nodded. 

“In the meantime, let me keep working on this,” Marcus gestured to the bandages in the kit. As he got to work, he watched the look in your eyes totally change, the Versed taking effect. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, covering the cut that just barely grazed your right eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you sighed dreamily in a total demeanor change. The whole room lit up in his eyes. Marcus grinned at the way your posture slumped just slightly in relaxation. “And how are you?” you winked. Oh, this was going to be fun. He really needed to keep you talking.

“I’m doing great. Happy to be here with you, sweetheart. Now, sit still while I take care of this last cut,” he cooed. 

“Ok,” you giggled. “What a charmer.” 

“I try my best, darling.” He played along, enjoying the way the Versed had turned you into a starstruck girl with a crush.

“Oh noooo,” you squeaked suddenly.Marcus panicked, checking you over quickly for further injury. 

“What is it? Are you ok?” 

But you only grabbed his left hand, holding it up.

“You’re married!” 

Marcus blinked. What was in that stuff they’d given you? You put your face in your hands and Marcus tried to contain his laughter at the way your voice was muffled by your fingers. “You’ve been so nice and caring! I wanted to ask you on a dateeee. I’m so sorry if I came on too strong.”

“Baby,” he called with a sweet lilt to his voice-- still trying to hold in a laugh. 

“You shouldn’t call me that,” you sighed sadly, pouting, “You’re married. We can’t be together.” 

“Of course I’m married,” he held your left hand up now, “I’m married to you, you goof.” You blinked at the silvery ring on your finger. 

“Oh!” you practically yelled, “That’s so cool!” Marcus’ heart warmed at the way your eyes lit up at the realization. Even drugged out of your mind you were excited to be with him. He couldn’t help but feel likewise.

“I agree,” he smiled, “It’s very cool.” He intertwined his fingers and yours. 

“I’m so lucky,” you grinned toothily in response. It was so unlike the smiles you usually gave him: too exaggerated and, in a word, dopey. But it held the same affection. 

“No, I’m definitely the lucky one,” he countered. Your grin faltered slightly as you grew sleepy-- another possible effect of the Versed, he guessed. “Now, go ahead and lay back for me ok? I’ll see you as soon as you’re out of surgery.” You nodded in agreement and then right off to sleep.

Oh, he could not wait for you to get out so he could tell you about just how “lucky” the two of you were.

[wisteria-lodge]

lion primary (bird model) + slightly burnt lion secondary

Hi there! I’m a fan of your sorting posts, and of your kind and insightful way of supporting people in finding out more about themselves. So naturally I’d be very interested in your take about my own sorting, if you’re game! :)

I won’t talk much about my Secondary, because now that I’m starting to unburn my Lion seems very clear to me, even when my explosion-prone Badger model still tries to get in the way of that clarity sometimes. The more interesting riddle is my Primary. So far I’m operating under the working theory that I am a Lion with a very strong Bird model - or is it the other way ‘round?

The supposed dichotomy between “thinking” and “feeling” in many of the more binary personality models has always bugged me, so it’s no wonder this is the area where whenever I feel like I’ve decided on who I am (for now) a new question mark pops up (so much fun!).

If ‘thinking’ and ‘feeling’ doesn’t work for you as terminology, it might help to think of Lion as leading with subconscious reasoning, and Bird as leading with conscious reasoning.

Instead of trying to formulate a cohesive text, which would have gotten even longer, I’m putting together an associative list of thoughts and stories that kept turning up while I was trying to figure out my Primary.

A very Lion primary way to solve a problem, not gonna lie ;)

- I think I got my Bird model from my father, who made quite an effort to teach me to look at things from all angles. As a child, whenever I got in a fight with this friend I had, he would sit me down and ask me to put myself in my friend’s shoes. It was hard, because a lot of the time my friend was being unfair to me and I actually could have used some support, someone to tell me that it was not okay to treat me this way. But I’m still immeasurably grateful for my father’s lessons, through which I’ve learned to understand peoples’ motivations and gained an understanding for the complexities of every conflict. He also taught me to doubt, to look closer, to not just believe the first thing I see, or want to see. To this day I still consider my ability to pin down the relevant factors of a situation before I make judgments one of my strengths.

That definitely sounds like a very strong, beloved Bird model.

- Whenever I had to write an essay at school or uni, I first had to come up with some aspect about the subject that I really cared about, even could be passionate about. (I am passionate about many things, so it was usually possible to find some connection to that.) Then I would use the essay to discuss this aspect in great detail, ending with a polemic flourish. I had the time of my life doing that; meanwhile the text would structure itself magically in relation to the issue I had chosen to focus on. Whenever I tried to write without such a focus, I’d get bored, stressed and the text would be of a much lower quality.

- Something similar happened in oral exams at uni: Only when I got the opportunity to bring a discussion paper (a few pointed statements regarding the exam topic) which I could then debate, I was able to recollect all the important details I needed for that. If I just had to report on the topic or answer questions, I often got confused, to the point of drawing a complete blank.

Linking things to emotion and passion - thinking with emotion and passion, basically - is a Lion primary thing. Especially if doing that makes you feel safe & comfortable & effective & happy.

- Even as a teenager I was very interested in philosophy, ethics and moral decision making.

I love teaching philosophy to teenagers. It’s the perfect time for it, they are so into it, and if it were up to me I would absolutely make it a required class.

I picked up certain philosophical ideas and concepts that I liked and integrated them in my belief system (yes, I know how very Bird that sounds).

I had my mind blown by Genealogy of Morals in high school, and I still won’t shut about Eichmann in Jerusalem. But what was so staggering to me in high school was… here are these ways of thinking that are possible and allowed. The fact that here they are in words in front of me made me a great deal more expansive.

Now that I think about it — I don’t remember adjusting my beliefs as in any way traumatic back then. The shift from a belief in the Christian God to Mother Goddess to my very own brand of agnostic paganism was smooth, natural.

Now that I think about it… I would describe myself as a mythic relativist (which is a term I just made up.) Systems of belief are metaphors, and they’re metaphors trying to describe and say something large and beautiful about what it means to be human, and what it means to live a good life. And since we are all human, they are all attempting to describe the same central, indescribable thing in different ways.

I feel this very deeply, but it took me a long while to be able to articulate it.

I constantly reevaluate, and I adapt.

You stop reevaluating and adapting, might as well be dead.

Still, there are some basics I’ve kept with me that just make too much sense to me to give up, and some that perhaps I keep because I just really like them and I’m kind of attached to them.

… somebody’s thinking with Pathos :)

- I’m a constructivist at heart, so that makes it much easier to tweak the content of my beliefs while staying true to the principle that we (socially) construct our reality, and (my take on this): that I choose what kind of world I want to live in, and according to that I make choices which are the most likely to create that world.

- At uni I attended a seminar about the development of moral judgment and action. What I remember most clearly about it is how much it bugged me that the other students didn’t seem to understand that morality always depends on the perspective. Even though I had definite moral convictions that I was ready to fight for, at the same time it seemed obvious to me that theoretically there could be a justification for every kind of moral guideline; it depended on your principles and the world you wanted to live in.

A human after my own heart.

I wanted to understand these different perspectives, not talk about empty categories like “right and wrong” or “good and evil” that meant nothing to me. I still feel that way.

Absolutely. I don’t use alignments when I DM Dungeons & Dragons. I mean, I can list evil *things* but that’s not the same thing as defining *being evil.* I want to know WHY these people did these evil things.

It just seems so impractical and complicated to base a conversation on those broad categories that don’t have any definition people can agree on instead of referring either to defined principles (in order to explain what good/ bad is *for you*) or consequences of certain actions, and whether you want them/ accept them/ don’t want them.

Oh that’s a fun discussion. Asking a highschooler to define “evil.”

(and then they have to figure out what moral systems Jigsaw, Pinhead, the Joker, and Bane all subscribe to.)

- Between “the Revolutionary” and “the Grail Knight”, I would love to be the former, but I’m clearly the latter. I’m someone who questions, not someone who knows.

Take my archetypes with a grain of salt, they are supposed to describe characters. (Who are different from people - but still useful, because they are attempts to describe us.) I actually want to write more about the differences I see between the way fictional secondaries are written and the way real-life secondaries work.

And just “knowing”... is dangerous. That’s how Exploded Lions happen. 

There are a lot of causes I find worthy to fight for, but I haven’t committed to any one, which so far I’ve attributed to my Burned Secondary (How do I do things?).

Sounds about right.

If I’m honest, though, it feels a bit strange to really, really fight for anything. I’d rather contribute to the cause by keeping an eye on whether we stay aligned to our values on every level of the fight, not by storming sightlessly in front of some army. (I got polemic again, didn’t I? ;))

So after all this Bird talk, why do I think that I’m a Lion?

… that was the Bird segment?

- I trust my intuition. It has never steered me wrong, with one exception: My Primary burned for a time when I first understood the concept of privilege and internalized bias, which was coincidentally at a time when I also went through a lot of changes in my personal life. Like many people unaware of their own privilege, I had thought of myself as “one of the good ones”. I learned that even with the best intentions I could cause great harm without even noticing it. This then also happened to me in a relationship, when I was already confused, hurt and more than a bit burned. It seemed like I couldn’t trust my intuition anymore, but I also couldn’t figure out intellectually what to believe, because I felt mentally overwhelmed by all those new concepts, all of which put my previous convictions into question. Which Primary burned then?

Been there, done that, it’s brutal. It sounds to me like a Lion dramatically changing direction - that’s what I mean when I say that it *hurts* when a Lion changes their mind. Birds see their past selves that thought wrong as almost different people. “I wasn’t aware of my privilege then, now I am, and can take steps doing forward.” But if you’re a lion it’s like… I *should* have been aware, and the fact that I wasn’t says something terrible about my moral/emotional calibration, and THAT has to be put right.

- I felt like everything I had learned about the world and myself didn’t count anymore. My concepts and my strategies didn’t serve me anymore. So I started to rebuild everything from scratch, this time with less pride and more practicality.

Yeah. That’s some Lion recalibration. With a Bird Model, to help.

- Anyway, I trust my intuition. It contains my experiences, instinct and all my accumulated unconscious observations of the situation, and it’s very reliable. Usually I use it as an important source of information which I try to back up with data/ understanding, but when push came to shove and the apparent facts would contradict what my intuition told me, I would be unable to set my gut feeling aside. I wouldn’t follow it blindly, of course. But I would never just go against it either. If the voices of my unconscious and conscious mind don’t align, I keep poking at the issue until they do. If I absolutely cannot come to a satisfying conclusion, I go with my gut. Since I know it usually knows what it’s doing, I’ll find out the reasons for my feelings later. (Weird, says my inner bird who is busy compiling these examples.)

I’LL FIND THE REASON FOR MY FEELINGS LATER. What a perfect way of articulating what is perhaps the central experience of being a Lion primary.

- Probably I’m just both, you know. Some interesting lion/bird-chimaera. I like it.

I read you as a pretty clear Lion Primary, Bird primary model. But as always, the decision is very personal.

- I have a weird way of processing information: I read/ hear it, work to understand it, work to connect it to existing knowledge in my mind, then my beliefs, my existing knowledge and my feelings about it all wind around each other, grow into each other, some dissolve together, becoming a swamp which then nourishes the plants of new ideas and connections that grow from it.

You grok it. And that’s not weird.

I often can’t remember where certain knowledge came from. I can’t take it out of a memory shelf and tell you about it. I usually remember that I’ve read a certain book and whether I liked it / it influenced me, but I won’t exactly remember what was in it, even if it was important to me. Because all that information is already processed/ digested/ transformed into something new. It’s much easier to access my memory swamp intuitively than consciously.

and you seriously had like… any doubt that you were a Lion.

In intellectual discussions I tend to get stuck because I just can’t remember enough of the details (for my satisfaction), just my conclusions about the topic and how I feel about it.

I’m inclined to think that not accessing the details is either a secondary thing, or an entirely unrelated processing thing.

What do you make of all this? I’m very curious!

:)

[On an unrelated note, I’d like to specify the compliment I made at the beginning of this post. I’m really impressed with your ability to pick up on what people need, not just what they say they want. As a counselor this is a skill I try to hone, so I know how difficult it is to not get too distracted by the story people tell and miss the more subtle cues. You have a powerful combination of perceptiveness, insight and so much kindness, which you use to effectively support people who have questions, are in distress or confused. You don’t generalize. You don’t judge. You see the people who talk to you.  I love that you’re a teacher, because I can see you’re using the influence that gives you in a way that contributes to making the world a better place. Fellow Idealist, I’d like to give you a High Five for that, if I may. :)))]

I’m not sure I’ve ever been given a better compliment. Thank you.

[fairyhee]

"dare."

"alright. I dare you to spin this bottle and play 7 minutes in heaven with whoever gets chosen."

...

Hi, this is the 1st thing I've written, ever. I just had this scenario in my mind for a while and I finally decided to give writing it a go, so I ended up with this. I left the name blank so you can imagine whoever you want (but I thought of Oneus Keonhee while writing it). Let me know if you enjoy it!

✨Optional bias

💘Smut / a bit of fluff I guess?

✨Word count: around 2k

...

Playing truth or dare with people you barely knew wasn't exactly your choice of activity in a normal setting, but the cute guy that had been smiling at you so sweetly every time your eyes landed on each other, and the few vodka cranberry cocktails you had downed earlier had made you change your mind. Maybe it was the alcohol, but it seemed like the whole room lit up whenever he laughed, and boy he did that a lot.

...

It was your popular friend's birthday, and they were throwing the usual party at their apartment, that was now full of people you mostly had never seen before. Given the situation, you tried to stick to the people you knew, but that wasn't possible at all times, so you'd have to interact with strangers sooner or later.

You were in the kitchen grabbing something to drink while your friend was at the bathroom. Concentrated on mixing your vodka, you didn't react when you noticed someone else entering the room, but you were soon surprised by a loud and cheerful voice.

"oh! Are you my outfit twin for tonight?"

As you raised your head in confusion, you realized what he was talking about. You two were wearing the exact same style. Leather pants, check. White button up, check. Combat boots, check. You stood there for a few seconds smiling like idiots and staring at each other in disbelief, just like that one Spiderman meme. When you finally snapped out of it, you burst into laughter.

"nice sense of fashion you got there" you said.

"I could say the same about you. What are you drinking?"

"vodka cranberry. Want me to pour you some?"

"sure. I'm _____, by the way"

And that seemed to be the start of a very promising evening. His laugh made your heart flutter from the first encounter. In fact, his entire presence was so breathtaking that it made you flustered, and you were grateful for his cheerfulness, as it helped you overcome this newfound shyness. The fact that your fashion sense seemed to match perfectly was just the cherry on top.

Before your friend could return from the bathroom, you were already vibing to the music with your new acquaintance, as you seemed to both like the upbeat songs that could be heard from the living room. You thought it was incredible how he knew so many choreos, and even when he didn't, he still danced. The both of you didn't sit down for the whole evening, even though every now and then you both returned to your own friends to not neglect them completely. Whenever a good song came on, you would eye each other from opposite corners of the room and do your dance moves from afar and laugh.

What you loved most about it was how comfortable he made you feel, how he wasn't just trying to grind on you like other guys would, but you were just enjoying the music and each other's presence. For some songs you could be silly together and laugh, for some he was just flexing his dance skills while you cheered on him, and for others, you got a bit closer, and it felt like there might be a little more going on between you. You saw the way he was looking at your curves, and you could definitely feel his gaze burning into you when you danced, though he never touched you or tried to make a move. Was he not interested? Was it all in your head, or was he shy? You hoped it was the latter.

As it started getting late and people started leaving or being too tired to dance, the host suggested all the remaining people to sit down in a circle and play truth or dare. If you didn't want to accept the dare or answer the question that was given, you would have to take a shot. You hadn't played this game since middle school, when all the dares were to kiss someone, so you wondered how this would turn out.

Your new friend had sat down right across from you, so he could easily see all of your reactions. The questions or dares were set by the person to the right, which meant that your friend would choose for you. You would rather avoid any embarrassing questions from her, so you chose dare.

"do you remember that sexy dance routine that you learned but never showed anyone because you were embarrassed? I dare you to do it here."

You hadn't seen this coming, but you took it as a chance to showcase what you've been practicing secretly. Gathering all the confidence you had in you, you danced with all your might and tried to make it as sensual as possible. You couldn't help glancing at that cute boy from time to time, and you were pleasantly surprised to find him watching closely, practically devouring you with his eyes, which only added more fuel to your fire. You earned a round of applause for your little performance, and a few spicy remarks from your friends who were shocked by this new side of you, but your mind was focusing on someone else.

After a few more people who chose truth to avoid doing something embarrassing, it was finally his turn.

"dare."

Finally, a fun choice, you thought to yourself.

"alright. I dare you to spin this bottle and play 7 minutes in heaven with whoever gets chosen."

As soon as he accepted, your heart skipped a beat. You would lie if you said it wouldn't sting a little to see him have his 7 minutes with someone else. You tried to read his facial expressions and he seemed excited about it, but you could only hope he wasnt excited about doing this with someone else in the room. Even though it wasn't your right to feel this way, there was nothing between the two of you, but you couldn't help yourself. As he spun the empty bottle, it felt like your head was spinning along with it. You tried talking nonsense to your friend in hopes you'll get distracted and get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, but your eyes were still glued on that bottle...

And it stopped pointing towards you.

You weren't sure how you two got up and into the room next to the one everyone else was in, and closed the door. Your mind was clouded but you weren't so sure it was the alcohol anymore. You leaned your back against the door and checked for his reaction to what was happening.

"so.... Are you satisfied with the result, or did you want it to be someone else?"

He smiled and slowly closed the distance between you.

"what do you think? I don't think I could've been more obvious about it. I couldn't keep my eyes off you all night."

You let out a laugh.

"and here I was, thinking you were just being nice."

You guessed your comment had made him think you weren't interested, because suddenly turned serious.

"are you okay with this? Because if not, we can just talk-"

"we only have 7 minutes. I think you can do better things with that mouth than just talk."

His eyebrow rose at your sudden change of attitude, and his lips turned into a smirk. His eyes didn't leave yours for even a single second.

"looks like we're gonna have to do something about that attitude of yours"

He barely finished his sentence and crashed his lips onto yours. He kissed you hungrily as you felt a sudden heat taking over your entire body. His body pressed you against the door and his hands started caressing over your curves, while he kissed your neck. It's like he already knew what your soft spot was... His wet lips sent chills all over your spine, and it made you claw at his clothed back. He moaned into the kiss, so you sneaked your hands under his shirt to gently scratch his bare back this time. This made him buck his hips into you and let out a louder moan, and you could feel how hard he was because of you. He was quite obvious about his slight pain kink, and you loved it.

You could do this all night, but by now there were probably only around five minutes left.

He must have realized this as well. You weren't sure how far you planned to go with this but surely you didn't want to stop there, so you didn't protest as he slipped his hand into the front of your leather pants and into your now soaked panties.

You whined as his fingers easily swiped across your wet folds and touched all the right spots, before focusing on the part where you wanted him the most. As he lightly teased your entrance with his long index finger, he suddenly spoke again.

"should I go on?"

You could barely breathe at this point, but appreciated his concern.

"please, don't stop."

That was all he needed. He pushed one finger inside of you, while his thumb was drawing circles across your bundle of nerves. The sensation was already so good you were seeing stars, but when he added a second finger you had to hold onto him for dear life, because your legs were shaking so much from all the pleasure. Arguably, his facial expression was making the whole thing ten times better. He looked more turned on than you'd imagined, considering you weren't doing anything to him. He looked so hot, you were just melting under his gaze and touch.

As you got closer to reaching your high, you snaked your hand into his hair and grabbed it, pulling him into a hungry kiss. His response to that was a deep groan, followed by him biting down onto your lips. He understood you were close, so he moved his lips to your side and whispered into your ear.

"you're so beautiful. Come for me, I wanna hear how good I make you feel."

You didn't need to be told twice. Rolling your eyes, you let out a series of whines as your orgasm took over you. You felt like you had just ascended to heaven, not caring about whether anyone could hear you anymore. As soon as you came down from your high, you were met with his burning gaze on you, and his sweet lips already forming a smile.

"wow, you know exactly what to say at the right moment, don't you" you said in a breathy tone.

He smiled.

"I meant it when I said you were beautiful. I'd do it again even if I got nothing in return."

His words got you all worked up once again. While he was finishing his sentence, you were already touching him lower and lower, wanting to repay the favor, but he gently grabbed your hands and pulled them away. He was still rock hard, and his leather pants weren't helping to hide how turned on he was, so why was he turning you down?

"As much as I'd like to continue, our 7 minutes have long passed. It must have been around half an hour now."

His words made you suddenly remember where you were. It felt like you had been under a spell which had now been undone.

"Half an hour???? God, I even forgot we were at a party." you said while flattening your clothes back into place. You wondered what he was gonna do to hide his hard-on, but you felt like you already did too much, so you just shut up.

"you good?" he asked with his hand on the knob.

"yeah, let's go."

As soon as he opened the door, you were met with complete silence. It looked like the few remaining people had been completely worn out by the alcohol while you were gone, because most of them, including your friends, were passed out on the carpet or on the couch, while some of the others had left. Only now you realized how much time you had spent in there, but also that everyone might have purposely forgot to knock on the door when your 7 minutes were over. And you were thankful for that.

"so that's why it was so quiet" he said, scratching the back of his head.

"so, what now?"

He pretended to think for a few seconds, then looked you and smiled shyly.

"I got an idea... how about we drop by my place for a coffee? We can chat, or, maybe watch a movie if you'd like. I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself here, considering you just met me tonight."

You giggled.

"what are you being so shy for? Looks like you forgot what we were doing just a few minutes ago."

He avoided your gaze and his ears got so red, it made you wonder how can he switch from making you moan his name to blushing about it in only a few moments.

"I'd love to. Let's go."

[kataraqui-archive]

Johnny Silverhand Meta

Why telling Johnny Silverhand he fucked up his friendship with V was cathartic as hell, more meta that no one asked for but I’m gonna go off anyway:

Obviously, spoilers ahead.

At the Pistis Sophia V and Johnny have arguably one of the deepest heart to hearts so far. Johnny reveals some of his history in the military, how a friend died to save him, how being used as a corporate tool radicalized him, and then gives V his friend’s dog tags as a symbol of his promise to sacrifice himself so V can live. It’s pretty emotional and made me feel like V and Johnny’s relationship had really grown over the course of the game.

Then Johnny asks for a favour, his last wish so to speak. To speak to Rogue and get revenge on Adam Smasher. He asks for control of V’s body so he can speak to Rogue and reiterates, multiple times, that this is ALL he’s going to do while in the driver’s seat. 

Instead, immediately and without hesitation, Johnny goes joyriding. He gets completely wasted, gets a tattoo, drinks some more, makes out with a stripper, gets into a brawl with the bouncers, then fingers the stripper in the car, crashes said car, and THEN goes to talk to Rogue after getting what information he could from the stripper. All of this he does with V’s body. He hands V back control, leaving V sick as a dog, beat up, tattooed, and with little memory of how they got in that state. 

Here’s where I get into my feelings as a player. I felt DEEPLY violated by this sequence of events and my inability to do anything about it. V’s getting piloted through sexual situations with a woman they don’t know. They’re getting tattooed. Yeah, in the world of Cyberpunk, that doesn’t have to be permanent, but it’s still all an enormous violation of V’s autonomy and what he consented to. It’s THEIR body. Beyond that, I thought V and Johnny were getting along, trusting each other, and the first moment V gave Johnny their unequivocal trust, Johnny lied. I felt betrayed. I was honestly so pissed I cried, in particular because Johnny brushed aside V’s (valid) arguments that this wasn’t what they’d agreed to and they could have done all that other stuff themselves without Johnny driving. The reality is: Johnny never intended to just speak to Rogue, he deliberately misled V so he could have one last hurrah with zero appreciation for how those actions would affect V. V who is already sick and dying because of the relic. No matter how you slice it, this is deeply fucked up behaviour.

It’s even more deeply fucked when you consider Johnny’s take on dolls. He’s openly disgusted by the way dolls are used as toys, the behavioural chip robbing them of autonomy/identity, and then their memories wiped so they don’t have to live with whatever depraved crap clients want to do with them. Then he goes and treats V exactly the way those behavioural chips treat dolls, and at first is completely unrepentant about it.

All throughout the story, Johnny reiterates how much he hates Arasaka for rewriting people’s identities. Even acknowledges that this is why he can’t stand the fact that, through the relic, he’s being made to do the same thing to V. What he does in Chippin’ In is hypocritical as fuck, but not the first time Johnny’s done something contrary to his general ethos. Though it’s not acknowledged in his memories because, as Alt points out, they were tinged with Johnny’s bias, the entire bombing of Arasaka tower was funded and backed by Militech; he hates corpos more than anything, but Johnny still accepted their backing when it served his interests.

When you follow that quest line to the point where you visit Johnny’s grave, we get to see a totally different side to Johnny. He seems humbled and distressed that, despite all he did in his lifetime, his body lies in an unmarked grave, an oil field where no one remembers it’s even there. I felt really bad for him in that moment, but I was still pissed. My V acknowledged that he would write ‘The Man Who Saved My Life’ on Johnny’s grave because, despite their falling out, Johnny is still trying to save him. There’s still a bond forged by sharing the same body and what they’ve been through. But when Johnny tries to sidestep by saying that, while he fucked up his relationships with everyone else, he’s glad he didn’t fuck up what he has with V, I wasn’t standing for that. I wasn’t going to let him play for sympathy over the unmarked grave to sweep his betrayal of V’s trust under the rug. I chose the ‘Nope, you fucked that up too,’ option. 

Honestly? One of the most cathartic moments in any game for me. Johnny doesn’t deny he fucked up either. He asks for a second chance, which my V agreed to give him, because even with all that fuckery they’re still close friends. 

I didn’t know this dialogue was what unlocked the secret ending, it just made sense given what had happened and how I felt V would respond. My partner played it differently though, which is how I came to realize that the dialogue you get with Kerry and Johnny is an indicator of your relationship. When Kerry asks ‘do you get along?’ my partner got the response, ‘Not lately, no.’ Whereas I got, ‘The kid loves me.’ That seems almost contradictory, given I’m the one who chose to go off on Johnny for his betrayal, and my partner let it lie, but looking at Johnny’s other close relationships and his general ethos in life, it painted a bigger picture. (Note: I don’t know for SURE that the ‘you fucked up’ line is required to get this, but from various playthroughs between my partner and I, and what I’ve found online since, it seems that this dialogue is the key.)

The only people Johnny considered close friends are all people we’ve seen in his memories, and in every single one he is butting heads with them in some way. Johnny knows he’s damaged the people closest to him. Acknowledges it not just over his own grave, but in various endings as well. I think it’s telling that the memories V experiences, the ones that stick out most in Johnny’s subconscious, all involve some kind of argument between he and Alt, Rogue or Kerry. I think the fact that they stood up to him mattered to him more than anything because they weren’t giving up on him. They weren’t going ‘Johnny’s beyond help.’ Johnny even asks why Denny never tried to fix him. He’s also disparaging of being a ‘yes, man’ in most quest lines, rebellious to a fault. I think V standing up to him in kind garners Johnny’s love and respect more than if V just accepts what Johnny did. Maybe Johnny sees that as disingenuous or even cowardly, but I think on a deeper level he sees it as a sign that V has given up on him too. That V can’t be bothered because he doesn’t believe Johnny can change. There’s also just something really moving to me when two people can express their anger or hurt to one another and still be friends after. 

Anyway, those are my thoughts on Johnny’s relationships and why the ‘you fucked up’ line was so important for both V and Johnny. I really love the way these characters are written, and this relationship in particular just felt really genuine in all it’s complicated glory.

Fin.

[natsumiheart]

I look at a lot of stuff on Pinterest and one of people's reasons on why Oumasai is toxic is because Kokichi made Shuichi want to kill himself? Something tells me this is wrong but I'm not sure what proves it wrong. (I mean they also point out that Kokichi mocks Shuichi for mourning Kaede-) I'm asking about this because its been eating at me and trying to prove that it isn't toxic.

Hooo boy this is gonna be long so buckle up! I’m sorry I couldn’t make this shorter I just really go all ace attorney mode when it comes to this type of stuff.

Sorry if there are any mistakes or some parts are too confusing my internet might go soon so I can’t proofread and edit anymore!

I think what they’re referring to is how Shuichi got really depressed after discovering that the world had ended, but how can it be Kokichi’s fault? He literally wasn’t the mastermind, he didn’t make all that stuff up. Heck, he was the first one to even see that motive and on his own it was way worse to deal with. His behaviour was so out of line that Kaito got fed up with him and punched him for the nonsense he was saying.

The motive was supposed to make everyone fall to despair, it’s purpose was legit what happened to Miu where she NEEDED to go out to help out the world before everyone was gone. The motive was MEANT to be seen to make the game “More interesting” but Kokichi didn’t let the others see it until he finally convinced them that he’s the mastermind. If he didn’t the Mastermind would find a way to show it to them in a different way and there’s no knowing what could happen, and if he showed it to them himself they’re bound to believe what he’s saying considering the fact it’s obvious he already knew about this. He took that motive to basically make everyone give up on trying escape by killing each other, since as the mastermind he said “The game’s over now! There’s no point.” to prevent another murder from happening. AND IT WORKED, for a long while no murder took place but of course the actual mastermind couldn’t just sit idly and let the game be “boring” (Which was Kokichi’s goal) So they made a flashback light that Maki ended up seeing and calling the others to see, and the flashback light made everyone including Maki believe that Kokichi was a remnant of despair. They wanted to get rid of Kokichi for messing with the game and taking over their position, and this was their way to do it.

So, after all that, if others see that KOKICHI was the reason Shuichi wanted to give up for a second there. Then I really don’t know what to say. Shuichi has went through so much already because of the killing game and Kokichi’s attempt to stop the killing game is not the reason he wanted to give up. It was because he lost a lot his friends and because the world was most probably all gone. At that point he had nowhere to go back to and everything he has worked so hard for was for nothing because there’s nothing left. Kokichi didn’t do anything to Shuichi for him to be the sole reason he suddenly wanted to die. His depression got the best of him after being all alone with his thoughts for a couple of days, not eating or moving just sleeping the entire time. If anyone is at fault it’s the mastermind for making up such a cruel lie that even made Gonta commit murder to “save” the others.

And for the mocking him about Kaede’s death part (Which is literally one line after Shuichi removed his hat) Kokichi at that point had witnessed that the killing game was real and it was going to get him eventually. He wasn’t alright either and he had already started to make everyone hate him, acting more hostile and annoying so they all stay away (since anyone who groups up everyone or brings them hope will end up like Kaede did) He didn’t want to be the next Kaede or Rantaro. It started with that line but in the end he cut off all ties he had (if he had any) in chapter 4 so that they have no doubt that he is only full of malice and that he is indeed the mastermind.

“But how do you know that he has been devising that plan since back then?” Remember the “horse a” message? the first letters were added to it right before the next morning after the first trial where Shuichi entered the dining room without his hat. If you don’t believe me, here’s a paragraph from well written wiki!

Sometime between the end of the first trial and the morning of the next day, Kokichi would begin to devise of a plan to get everyone to think that he was the mastermind of this killing game, willing to be seen as evil for the sake of ending this madness. To begin this plan, he would leave a subtle message in the courtyard "Horse A", which he would later fill in with more letters as the killing game continued.

And here’s the source if you wanna check for yourself: Click here!

If it wasn’t already obvious, Kokichi is a LIAR. And his biggest lie of being the mastermind started after he saw the deaths of Rantaro and Kaede. That first chapter affected Kokichi a lot, he lied and lied to hide it but he was shaken up by the sudden death of Rantaro and was devastated by Kaede’s death. Though all he could say at her last moments is that she wasn’t boring. Because he knew, if he was truthful? Eyes would be on him immediately and he would be in danger.

Kokichi did his best to be the person he would hate the most, he lies so much yet says he hates liars, then says that’s a lie. Making everyone confused as to what the hell is right or wrong in what he’s saying. But he couldn’t keep up his facade forever especially when he was starting to get interested and even attached to Shuichi. In one completely optional scene in chapter 3 he legit says that he doesn’t want Rantaro to be the one who gets resurrected (Though he probably was more interested in him because he obviously knew more than he let on in chapter 1. Asking everyone about the Ultimate Hunt when no one else remembered it until they say the flashback lights, his fight with Hoshi, and how he was so sure that he WILL end the killing game. Kokichi even had his effigy in his room because he saw it as a clue or evidence that can help later, he needed to know what he was hiding and what his talent was.) and despite all that when Shuichi asks why he doesn’t want Rantaro to be the one, he says “Because you’d rather have Kaede back.” Of course he writes it off as a lie, but then right after that he SHOWS Shuichi his interest in Rantaro saying he might be working for the mastermind. The exact lines are:

Kokichi: “What if Rantaro was working for the mastermind? Bringing him to life might be a bad idea.” 

(Trying to make Shuichi believe that he really did lie there about his reason why he didn’t want Rantaro to come back by making him believe that THIS was the real reason. I don’t know exactly if he entertained the idea or not, but he most probably did not believe Rantaro to be the mastermind here. He might have even made up that killing game anime he was talking about. Its’ real for us but might not be for them.)

Shuichi: “N-no that’s idiotic! Rantaro couldn’t have been working for the mastermind...:

“But is it really impossible? We only knew Rantaro for a short time. He did seem as though he was kind of used to the killing game”

The “used to” in that sentence was highlighted. THIS was Kokichi’s intention, to make Shuichi realise that Rantaro knew more than he let on. Which reinforces Kokichi’s interest in him. But Shuichi fell for Kokichi’s trap earlier and didn’t notice at all that he slipped the fact Rantaro would give more information.

It’s confusing I know, Kokichi’s thing is mind games after all. But what I’m trying to say is that for Kokichi’s goal to figure out this killing game and how to end it Rantaro would be most ideal to bring back but he just wanted to tell Shuichi that he’d rather have Kaede instead just so he’s happy. The evidence for that is how even after he says its a lie he lowkey shows Shuichi he’s more interested in Rantaro instead. It reminds me of those scenes where he says “WAAAHH I THOUGHT YOUD KNOW I HATE COFFEE” then right after he’s like “I’m tired of all that crying can I have a cup of coffee please.” Or “I actually can’t taste anything!” then “anyway my faves are spice and sugar!”

Kokichi did say something insensitive when he said “Is it cause Kaede died or whatever?” but it didn’t bother Shuichi at all he just brushed it off since he saw how he acted in the trial earlier. It wasn’t a surprise to him. Kaede’s death affected Kokichi too, and that line doesn’t match up with what he said about bringing Kaede back.

You never know what’s the truth and what’s a lie with Kokichi, everything he says contradicts each other. So how is it that all these people who hate Kokichi and call him toxic take his worst lines or moments as the truth when the context of his entire character and motive says otherwise. When he had to crush Shuichi the most so he believes that he is full of malice without a single doubt. To make him believe he was really the mastermind immediately, so he doesn’t go all detective on him like he usually does.

Kokichi’s actions were terrible yes but they were LIES he did it for a purpose that’s what makes him a grey character when in a KILLING GAME. It’s shown in salmon team that under normal circumstances the two would get along and Shuichi would want to learn more about Kokichi and his true self.

TLDR; Leave these children be, they were in a killing game. No ship is toxic unless it’s shown that person was terrible / messed up from the start and would hurt whoever they’re with. Those users just obviously don’t like Kokichi and hate seeing him with anyone XD and it’s obvious with how they blame him over a motive Monokuma/ the Mastermind has created and straight up ignoring the intentions behind his actions.

Now without evidence and stuff, truly speaking from my heart from here with full on bias XD

I get hating a character or a ship but oh my god can you not spread misinformation for others to feel obligated to agree? Toxic is such a strong word and I hate how people keep associating it with every ship they dislike. Making others feel bad for what comforts them! If Saiouma was so toxic how come it makes so many people happy? How come it makes people literally calm down,  stop crying, and feel warm. Saiouma is one of the most adorable and realistic ships out there... Don’t ruin it for everyone else just because you don’t agree with how we feel. Just say you’re not a fan and move on!

Anyway don’t worry your ship is very valid! You can continue supporting them without feeling any guilt and if anyone calls it toxic they can see me so I break their kneecaps.

[moving-accounts-uwu]

Right Where You Were Meant To Be (Bucky x Plus-size!Reader)

Fandom: Marvel 

Characters: Bucky x Plus-size!reader

Warnings: Fluff, hurt/comfort, body-shaming

Story type: One-shot

Word count: 2.7k words 

Summary: Reader has a crush on Bucky the second she looked at him but she also has feelings of self-consciousness about her body and doubts she’d ever end up with Bucky or any guy like Bucky. That all changes one night at one of Tony’s parties.

(A/N: This is a cute little one-shot idea I had and just wanted to write out. I feel there aren’t many plus-size!reader stories so I wanted to make my own. I’m a chubby girl and felt like I needed some love, lmao. Any mistakes I take responsibility for, this story wasn’t beta read, so I apologize for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy nonetheless!!! Also, the gif isn’t mine, but he just looks so precious <3)

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It all started when you looked at him for the first time. He had just moved into the Tower, and you had just gotten the job as Tony's new assistant since Pepper had become CEO of Stark Industries. Because you worked in an environment with superheroes who were very fit and healthy, you had become self-conscious of yourself; whether it would be what you wore, the things you ate, or just how your body looked in general. 

Being a bigger girl, it often took a toll on your mental health when you would notice the glances, the whispering, the judgmental stares, and how shopping for clothes in your size was difficult, and it made you feel like you had to lose weight to fit in and belong. You felt alone and isolated. 

You didn't have any friends; you didn't even talk to many of your co-workers, and just kept to yourself a majority of the time. When Bucky moved in, you noticed he did the same. He didn't speak much to the rest of the team, he mostly stayed in his room, and only hung around Steve. Bucky was very fit, and his muscular body showed it whenever he wore tight-fitted clothing. You would never wear tight-fitted clothing for fear of having your plumpness accentuated.

After five months working for Tony and having a more friendly relationship with the rest of the team, you had built a few close bonds with some of the heroes. Wanda and Natasha were your closest girlfriends and would regularly have 'Lady's Nights' every Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Tony, Clint, Sam, and Steve were like your older brothers and would look out for you. 

You and Steve made it a routine to do small exercise and yoga in the afternoons just after 4 o'clock. How this all started was because you wanted to accomplish small goals for yourself, as Sam told you to do to help with your mental health.

"Steve," You called out as you stepped into the Tower's gym, the one place you knew where to find Steve if he wasn't in the common room.

"Oh, hey (Y/N)! What's up?" Steve turned to face you as he held the punching bag still while he watched you walk closer to him, noticing you fidgeting with your fingers nervously.

"I just... I wanted to start doing light exercises, you know, to boost my endorphins, and so I have something to do in the afternoons when I've finished with work." It wasn't a complete lie, but it just sugar-coated the fact that you just wanted to lose weight to gain confidence in yourself.

Steve had agreed to help you; he wouldn't push you too much either because he didn't want you to strain anything and not push you out of your comfort zone too much. Both of you would exercise for an hour each day in the afternoons. This routine had been going on for six weeks, and you were enjoying it. You felt better about yourself each week when you would check your progress and write down how much you lost during the week; you were more confident than you were all those weeks ago before asking Steve for help.

During one of those afternoon exercises, you and Steve were both in the Adho Mukha pose with Steve wearing his usual tight t-shirt that you swore was a size too small, and shorts while you wore a loose, black tank top, and tight-fitted leggings that complemented the shape of your plump ass. You were so in the zone that you hadn't heard the gym doors open and the sound of footsteps coming closer to you. Bucky stood behind you and Steve, him getting an eyeful of your butt while he cleared his throat to catch his best friend's attention. 

"Hey, Bucky! I didn't notice you were there. (Y/N) and I were doing some yoga, would you like to join us?" 

You. Were. Mortified. You quickly stood up beside Steve and looked down at your feet, trying to avoid looking at Bucky after having your ass practically in his face. 

"Uh, I kinda have to get ready for 'Girl's Night' tonight, but I think Bucky can keep you company." You nervously spoke, having your words jumble out quickly due to your inner-embarrassment. "I'll see you later, Steve!"

You bolted out of the gym as fast as your legs could go and made it up into your room without another incident. When you flopped onto your bed, you let out a loud, exhausted sigh before closing your eyes shut tightly. 'Why did I have to act like a nervous wreck? You didn't even let him talk for Christ's sake!' After beating yourself up over the little incident, you started to get ready for 'Girl's Night' with Nat and Wanda. 

It was two hours into 'Girl's Night' and you, Nat and Wanda had, at least, drank four glasses of Kraken Rum and about three shots of Vodka. You were more relaxed and carefree, enjoying your time with your best friends while gossiping about an episode of Criminal Minds you all saw the other day together. 

"Not gonna lie, I would love to have a man like Morgan. Have you seen his muscles? And how he kicks down doors like a badass?" You gushed.

"That is true, and I fully believe Morgan and Garcia should be together. They have chemistry and look so cute!" Wanda loved her Morgan and Garcia ship. 

"Eh, I like to have a super cute genius but that's just my opinion" Nat took a sip of her fruity vodka drink while shrugging her shoulders.

"Of course you would, you're with Bruce and that's a little bias, Nat." You gently shoved your red-haired friend playfully. 

You and Wanda giggled like school girls when Natasha scoffed before she pointed an accusing finger at you.

"Well, says you, (Y/N)! You practically drool whenever you see Barnes."

That shut you up quickly. 'How does she know?! Play it off'

"That's very funny Nat, but I don't know what you mean."

"Don't bullshit me, (Y/N). I've seen the way your cheeks get all pink and how your eyes are glued to him whenever he walks by. You're so smitten it's grossly cute." Then Wanda turned to you with a small smirk on her face.

"Maybe you should ask him to work out with you and Steve!"

Flashbacks of your embarrassment earlier that day made your face go pale. 'Absolutely not'. You shook your head furiously, staring at your two friends with fear. There was no way you'd have the guts to do such a thing, not after how you acted around him before. Plus, you didn't want him to look at you with disgust when he looks at you working out. You shake off all the negative thoughts before finishing off your last bits of rum.

"I think I'm going to head off to bed now, gotta wake up early tomorrow. Tony wants me to help him organize and plan a gala party to celebrate his newest project. And when I say to 'help him' I mean I'll be doing most of the work while he hides away in his lab with Bruce." You said before walking off and waving the girls goodbye.

2 weeks later...

You had most of the gala planned out. You had booked a cute catering company to organize some food dishes for everyone and even hired a group of people to decorate one of the large common rooms that would fit all the guests on Tony's guest-list. You had even bought a cute new dress to wear for the party. The party was starting that night at 7:30 and you would hopefully get everything done while having an hour and a half to spare to get ready. 

When the decorating and planning finished, you quickly made your way to your room and got showered and changed. You stood in front of your mirror for quite some time, nitpicking every flaw you could see, judging your appearance because you knew how the other women at the party were going to look flawless and have every man swooping in for them. A sudden knock on your door snapped you out of your negative thoughts.

"(Y/n), you ready?" Wanda's voice called from the other side.

"Y-yeah! I'm coming now." You dashed for the door to get away from the mirror so you can't put yourself down even more. Once opening the door, Wanda linked your arm with hers, and both of you walked toward the elevator. 

Telling FRIDAY which floor, you both arrived just as a few of the guests were mingling around; drinking, eating, and chatting. You glanced around, hoping to see the familiar faces of your friends, spotting Sam, Nat, and Clint near the bar where Natasha was serving the drinks. Tony was standing next to Pepper and being an absolute flirt as always while Steve and Bucky were standing near a corner with drinks in hand. Before you could make your way over to the bar, Wanda told you to wait where you were while she goes to quickly touch up her make-up, disappearing before you could say a word. You stood there awkwardly and looked around, making sure everything was going swimmingly until you felt a presence behind you. A tap on your confirmed that someone was indeed behind you.

You turned around to see a group of two slender women and three muscular men staring at you with smug and cocky smiles on their faces.

"Can we get some more drinks? And make them with a little more alcohol this time." One of the men quirked an eyebrow, waiting for you to scurry off to grab their drinks.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not part of catering. I'm-"

"You certainly look it though, I mean, you're not dressed like you're here as a guest. The dress you're wearing looks like the other catering staff." A woman spat, her eyes narrowed at you. You started to feel self-conscious about your outfit now, realizing the color-scheme looked very similar to the catering staff.

"Plus, the dress isn't that flattering for your body hun. We can practically see your muffin top and panty lines with how tight that dress is on you." The other woman commented while she leaned to the side to glance at more of your plush figure.

A stinging sensation began to appear behind your eyes, feelings of doubt, and an anxiety attack began to make themselves known. So looked away from the group and quickly made for the elevator, shooting Wanda a quick text saying you weren't feeling too well. 'How stupid of me to think I even looked good or that I could fit in at the party.' By the time the elevator doors reached your floor and the doors opened, hot tears were falling down your cheeks as you tried to furiously wipe them away with zero results. The tears kept flowing down as you began to walk down the hallway to your room; quiet footsteps barely making noise as they followed you. Just as your hand settled on the door handle, a warm hand clasped onto your shoulder gently. With a yelp, you spun around with a jump to look at your "attacker", only to find a pair of stormy blue eyes staring at your teary eyes intensely. 

Bucky's eyes held hints of concern and worry, but it was hard to see because he was good at hiding his emotions, and the fact that your eyes were blurry from crying.

"You okay, (Y/n)? I saw you leave the party quickly and noticed how fast your breathing was." Bucky had to look down at you because he was so tall, or was it because you were just very short?

"I'm fine, Bucky. I just don't do well in crowded places or with so many strangers. I got a bit overwhelmed but it's fine now." You weakly smiled but he could see right through it, he always did.

"You had a panic attack after speaking to a group of people, and judging by the looks they gave you while talking to them, I can only believe it wasn't a pleasant conversation." Bucky then brought both his flesh and metal hands to cup your face while he peered into your eyes more. "Tell me what happened, doll." 

You sighed, you knew he wasn't going to let this go. Even though you both barely spoke to each other, he still cared for you like the both of you knew each other for years. Something about his calm voice and caring nature helped your nerves settle.

"They thought I was part of catering and asked if I could get them more drinks. I told them I wasn't catering, only for them to make snarky comments about my outfit and body. But it's fine, I'm used to having those comments made to me, I've dealt with those types of people all my life." Your hands gently held his and tried to move them away from your face but Bucky didn't budge. 

"You don't believe them, right? I mean, I think the dress looks good on you. It shows off your curves and any man who doesn't get blown away is blind."

You gave a humorless laugh and shook your head at Bucky, looking down at the floor.

"You're just saying that to be nice to me, Buck. We both know girls like me don't belong in a place like this, or a party like that. You can go back to the party, I don't want to waste more of your time." You went to turn away when Bucky held your upper arms tightly.

"Not a chance, doll. I'm not a fan of crowds myself and was about to leave the party myself until I saw you run away. I'd rather spend my time with you and making sure you don't ever think that you don't belong."

You both stared at each other for a few seconds, his stare was intense with adoration and love while you stared at him in shock that he'd want to spend time with you. Before you could blink, Bucky leaned down and you felt his soft lips on yours, his arms wrapping around you and caging you into a warm and gentle embrace. Your hands rested onto his firm chest while his hands rested on your lower back, just above your butt. At first, you were in shock but then you gave in to the kiss and snaked your arms around his neck, your fingers embedded into his long hair. 

The kiss was full of passion, and so much love that you didn't think it was possible. When the need for air was too much, you both separated and looked into each other's eyes once again.

"H-how? Why me? We barely know each other!"

"Because, (Y/n), I've been smitten for you since I first laid eyes on you but didn't have the guts to tell you. Steve's been a punk and trying to get me to join your work out sessions for weeks but I was too nervous to do it." Bucky's cheeks tinted red as he chuckled.

"And why's that? I was scared that if saw me working out, that you'd be grossed out by my body." You explained, chewing on your bottom lip.

"I could never be grossed out, sweetheart. I love a woman with curves and plumpness to her. I was nervous that if I watched you work out, I would try to make a move on you too fast and scare you away. I didn't want that to happen." Bucky grabbed your chin and leaned in again, his lips almost touching yours. "And you looked downright sexy in those tights, they shape your ass well."

You gasped and lightly smacked his shoulder while he smirked at you. His playfulness coming through. You made the first move this time and got onto your tippy toes to kiss him. This is was quicker than the first but still held the same emotions. With so much strength you underestimated he had, Bucky lifted you up, your legs wrapped around his waist as he opened your door and carried you over to your bedroom. Both of you watched a bunch of movies in your room; many kisses were shared before you both passed out, cuddled up under your fluffy blankets, safe in Bucky's arms. Right where you were meant to be all along.

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Thanks for reading!!! <3 <3 <3

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns  are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH35

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 3, 685

- Author Note: Hi update update! :DDD

Previous | Next

Chapter 35

It was a good day to drink only if you choose a perfect companion as your drinking buddy. Fortunately for Jimin, Seul had time to spare today. As soon as he finished his practice, he went straight to Seul’s workplace to pick her up.

They chose to drink at the top of the hill near her place. It was the best place to drink according to Seul, yet it did not disappoint him. Taking a sip from her coke, she glanced at him “What are you going to do about it?” she warmed up.

“About what?” Jimin feigned innocence. Rolling her eyes in response, Seul nudged his shoulder lightly “You know what I mean” she whispered.

Jimin scratched his head with a shy smile “Can you stop making fun of me? I told you I will deal with it discreetly. Don’t make it sound so scandalous” Seul curled her lips into a slight pout.

“So, are you going to give up on him?” she asked out of curiosity.

“Seul, listen..  I care for Jungkook and I love him, but it won’t change the fact that it is impossible to pursue him. I am comfortable to love him this way, as time passes the feelings that I have will be washed off completely. I will no longer have this romantic feeling for him, so I can return to where I start. I want to keep Jungkook close to me. I don’t want to ruin what we have now, it is precious” Seul nodded with a soft hum.

“Understandable. I am with you till the end. Follow your heart Jiminie, don’t be pressure. About your feelings for Jungkook, let the time decides it for you. As for now, live your life as it is”

“Thank you. As for now I am not thinking about serious relationship” he squished her hand, smiling brightly.

“So, should I introduce you to a girl?” “Ji Seul!” he poked her forehead using the tip of his finger causing the latter to giggle.

Jimin was having a hard time to deal with her little tease now she’s planning to add more it, what an ignorant girl. “What? Now, that you find I am unfit to your liking. Shall I set you up with someone? There is my best friend Hwasa” grinning like a fool, Seul wiggle her brows, followed by a small dance.

“Are you playing matchmaker now? Wow, you do have a lot of time in hand” he cringed at her absurdity.

“Hey, I am being helpful. Is Hwasa okay for you? She is loud and a little rough though, but that doesn’t matter since you survive Yoongi I am sure you can survive Hwasa!” Jimin was losing his word when he barely started this banter that he’s about to have with Seul.

Scoffing in disapproval, Jimin shuddered at the thought of dating Seul’s best friend “I am sure your friend is as crazy as you. Pass” the girl jabbed the side of his torso with a nasty glare.

“Yah! Do I need to remind you that you used to like me? Tsk, ungrateful brat” she crossed her arms and made a sour face. “Do you have someone in mind?” Seul gave him a questioning look.

“I have someone in mind” it will always be Jungkook, his subconscious argued at the back of his mind.

“Oh my god who?!” she deadpanned. “Is it someone that I know? An idol perhaps? Don’t tell me you like that girl from the previous rumour. I can’t recall her name, but she is pretty” it was Seul got a little dramatic over Jimin’s statement.

His eyes grew wider as he showed his protest “Hell no, not her! I am gay Ji Seul please” he shot Seul an ‘are you kidding me’ look.

“You used to like me; you are bisexual dude” Said Seul with a pout clearly offended by his remarks.

Jimin let out a soft giggle “Well, I am sorry if it is offending you. That was to cover up my gay ass” ruffling Seul’s hair in process, his eyes literally disappeared into crescent moon when he smiled.

“There is a letter that I receive from fans” his voice faded away in process. She really could not fathom the idea of Jimin falling for a stranger through a fan letter.

“Are you saying that you like a fan?” she gawked.

“Can’t you tell that I am changing the topic here? Everything that come from your mouth worth the gossip, goodness” he pinched her lips together earning a death glare from the annoyed girl.

Seul swatted his hand and frowned deeply “You are asking for it. Tell me about this mysterious fan, do you happen to know her personally? Have you ever meet her in any of your fan meeting?” she brought her knees to her chest, looking all excited to hear his story.

“Tsk, look at you. Nosy much. No, I don’t know who this person is personally. I receive her fan letter every month, and the things that she wrote in the letter inspired me” he bit his lower lips and expelled a deep sigh.

“You are falling for her writing? I don’t know you are this soft Park Jimin. She is your fan then?” Seul blinked.

“No, she is Jungkook’s fan”

“Yah, are you trying to steal his fan!” she looked up with a puzzled frown on her face.

He glowered “It is not my fault, she mixed up my name and Jungkook’s face. The first letter that I received from her had my name written on it. I thought it was meant for me until I received another letter. I realized she meant to write it for Jungkook” the content of the letter could not be forgotten easily, that was by far one of the genuine letter that he ever received from anyone.

“How can she mess it up until the end, when you are shorter than Jungkook? There was an obvious difference between both of you” she mumbled. 

Jimin eyes widened disagreed by her teasing “Ji Seul! Do I have to remind you few years back, I used to be taller than Jungkook!” he puffed his cheeks, pouting away the last line. 

Seul giggled kneading Jimin’s fluffy cheeks. “The story doesn’t match the situation, spill the beans” she demanded.

Annoyed, he really hated her sharpness, can she not be so on point over everything. It seemed impossible to lie to her face. “I stole the letter from Jungkook. One day, she sent another letter to me and Jungkook. She apologized for mistaking me as Jungkook, and that was the last letter that I ever received from her. Ever since she got her bias name right, she had been sending her letter to Jungkook correctly” Seul raised her brows in amusement.

“And that letter never reaches Jungkook right? Aren’t you sly like a snake? How long have it been?”

“About two years?”

“Yah are you insane?! You are not her ultimate member, it is Jungkook. And I thought you have bro-code even when it comes fans” she reasoned. If people think Taehyung is weird, wait till they have their first-hand experience with Jimin. This little mochi can be quite handful sometimes.

He retorted sarcastically “That is why I stop looking for her, because it is impossible to find her in the ocean full of Armys. Recently, she wrote something about her attending Wings Tour and one of our fansign during You Never Walk Alone promotion” she places her hand over her chest dramatically.

“Does it mean you keep your eyes on Jungkook’s fans during your fansign?” he moved his head slowly, scratching his not itchy head.

“I can’t help it don’t blame me. I don’t see any sign of her though, I wonder if she ever come” she snickered in response, letting out a small giggle.

“You don’t even know how she looks like, yet you pretend as if it is the biggest mission on planet” Seul teased.

Jimin simpered, looking pleased of his own decision to track down the mysterious fan “It is worth the try. I still have to apologize to her for not delivering her letters to Jungkook” Seul sent a bewildered look at his way.

“And you continue to steal her letter from Jungkook” she stated sarcastically.

“Jungkook won’t know unless you open your big mouth” Jimin squished her cheeks together messing it up a little, mimicking her action few minutes ago. She slapped his hand whining over Jimin’s unnecessary affection towards her, it spelled ‘Bullies’ on his forehead.

“Are you going to find her till the end?” his simple nod earns a loud cheer from the small girl.

“Yes, only because she is a true fan, and I want to thank her for the letters that she wrote few years ago which comfort me. I was in a rough phase when I first read her letters which she mistakenly addressed it to me. Not gonna lie, her words were just so genuine, I was comforted by them.”

Seul smiled softly, caressing his knees “You will find her one day. Update me once you find her!” Jimin took a sip of his drink and laughed at her silliness.

“Can we stop talking about me? What about you? Have you made up your mind? About Jungkook or Yoongi hyung?” her face turned sour as soon as he brought up the topic.

She grimaced “I..gave up on Jungkook” Jimin eyes shot opened as guilt consumed her. “Seul if this is about my feelings for Jungkook..You know.. you don’t have to do this” he sighed deeply.

“It is not about your feelings for him. I don’t deserve Jungkook, he deserves better than me. He is still young, and there is another amazing person out there who deserves him better than me. Don’t worry, I am not doing this because of you.” Seul gave her assurance that her decision will remain unchanged.

“But..Jimin..after learning the truth about your true feelings, I cant just go behind your back and date him when I am aware about your feelings. That is selfish. You and Jungkook are still possible” she giggled at her own remarks earning a dissatisfied glare from Jimin.

“How thoughtful” Jimin responded bitterly. In all honesty, he loathed the ideas of forging her own feelings for him when she’s free to love and be loved especially with Jungkook. Again, he knew stubborn Seul would not let anything to jeopardize their friendship. She guarded Bangtan’s friendship with all her heart.

“How are you planning to tell him?” Jimin could imagine the pain that the maknae had to bear when the truth is out. Neither Seul nor Jungkook could be blame in this matter, like she said love is about you loving someone. Your mind can’t choose who you’re going to fall in love, because your heart does all the work.

A soft sigh escaped from her lips “I have to do it even it hurts” he felt his arm wrapped securely around her, making her lean against his shoulder. “Jungkook and you can handle this. We can’t please everyone, that is life. Does it mean you are choosing Yoongi hyung?” suddenly thinking again, she falls into deep silence.

For some reason her silence made him fear her decision. Seul deserved to be loved and to be in a relationship, Jimin knows how much his hyung loved this girl. Hell, if anything happens to her he would be the first one to be by her side without fail. That’s the beauty of Min Yoongi when he’s in love.

Seul smiled indulgently “Yoongi is a great man. Do I deserve him? He is too good for me” she doubted herself. Jimin noticed the uneasiness in her voice, so he got the idea who is in her heart.

“It is Yoongi hyung then” he chuckled softly.

Her face turned fifty shades red as she shook her head frantically “I didn’t say anything about choosing him!”

“But there are only two choices to begin with, it is either Jungkook or Yoongi hyung. Now, that you have explicitly rejected Jungkook, shouldn’t you be choosing hyung? Or do you have another guy in your mind” he looked unfazed by the idea of Seul liking someone else who isn’t Bangtan.

There is Jin. Seul hated herself for opening the chances for Jin.

Was she trying to be caught in another messy love web? She barely escaped Jungkook yet she’s making it hard for herself to decided when it involved Jin. Another thing was that, Jin had never mentioned his feelings openly. Was it safe to assume Jin only see her as a good friend?

This was confusing her.

She liked Yoongi, but there’s Jin.

“Drink up, I need to go back in a bit. Mother is alone since Hoon is in Daegu. Shouldn’t you be home by now? I heard you have a long day tomorrow for your comeback show” Jimin frowned when he noticed the latter tried to chance the topic. Maybe it is best to stop talking about serious thing like this and moved on to lighter topic.

“Yes, Mnet. Will you be able to come? I can get a ticket for you” she took a big slurp from her drink before opening a new drink for her to savour.

“I am sorry, I have to work tomorrow and accompanying mother for medical check-up. We finally get a donor that suit my mother, hopefully she is able to go for the surgery by the end of this month” her eyes glimmered in happiness.

Jimin clasped his hand together in delight “Really? Ahjumma finally got the donor! Seul-ah, that is good news! Let me know how it goes, I am happy for you and ahjumma” she tucked the strand of hair behind her ears.

“Thank you Jiminie. I will let you know how it goes okay?” Jimin was satisfied by the news and now that both of them had finally spent their first alone time as a friend together, it was even precious. They stayed for thirty more minutes finishing their snacks and non-alcoholic drinks since Seul couldn’t really take alcohol, the reason why they ended up drinking sodas.

 ---------------

She pushed the password to her apartment and made her way inside hurriedly. To her dismay, she was welcomed by the sound of her mother’s shout from the living room which sounded like she’s having a huge fight with someone.

Seul kicked her shoes hastily approaching the loud sound only to be welcomed by a horrifying sight. Her mom was pressed against the wall while she threw a fit, meanwhile a man dressed in grey suit probably in his mid-fifties had his hand wrapped around her mother throat.  

“I should have killed you ever since you decided to keep the baby” he snarled.

Seul took a moment to digest the situation and without wasting any more time, she lurched forward pulling the man away from her mother. Using her strength, she pushed the man against the coffee table and went to aid her mother.  For a man that twice her size, she sure was quite strong to be able to push him without help.

“Mom, are you okay?” her mother coughed and panted heavily. The man dusted his clothes, standing up from his feet “Finally, the princess is back” Seul glared furiously at him, while helping her mom regaining her balance.

“Who the hell are you? Get out before I call the cops!”

“Jihyun you never told her about me, don’t you? I am hurt” he stretched one of his hand out for a handshake “Let me introduce myself, I am Lee Wonsuk, your fa-“ Mrs Hwang blazed in fury stopping the man before he could finish his word.

“KEEP YOUR FILTHY MOUTH SHUT!” the older woman outburst surprised Seul leaving the girl in daze. She was desperate to know who this man in front of her for her mother is to be this furious.

The man raised his hands with a mischievous look in his eyes “Alright, we will not talk about this tonight. You know Jihyun, you can’t keep this secret forever.  I will come to claim what is mine soon” his eyes then landed on Seul, making the girl feel smaller under his gaze. It sent chill down her spine.

“Nice to see you Ji Seul” dumbfounded by the situation, Seul watched the man disappeared from their vicinity and turned to face her mother.

“Mom, are you alright?” she held her arms, sitting her down on the couch. “Are you sure we just let him escape? You almost got killed!” Mrs Hwang shook her head weakly, leaning her back against the couch.

Seul went to get a glass of water and returned almost immediately by her mother side “Who is he? He seems to know you” the older woman smiled meekly, placing the glass on the coffee table.

“He is not important Seul, forget about him. He is just an old man with rage” displeased with her mother’s ambiguous answer, Seul did not stop her interrogation until she got the answers that she wanted.

“I don’t believe you, no- I choose not to believe you at all. Enough with secrets, this is your life we’re talking, what if he returns and hurt you? For once, can you treat me like a real adult, I can handle this!” Seul sighed lightly.

There was a long silence between them for a moment. “Are you going to make me wait?” she grew impatient. No matter what happens, today is the perfect day to learn the bitter truth, even it is hurt at least she’s no longer living in the dark.

The older woman muttered lowly finally unravelling the secrets that she kept for years from Seul. “Twenty-two years ago, a month before my wedding with Hoon’s father, I was raped” Seul stared at her in utter disbelief, shaking her head.

“By who?” she squished her mother’s hand, giving her strength to continue her story.

“Lee Wonsuk, he is your father’s best friend. And there was another man with him that night. I received a call from Wonsuk, that Hoon’s father got into a fight and was badly injured. I went to his place and the last thing that I remember was seeing his face in front of the doorstep. Then I blacked out. The next morning when I woke up, I saw two naked bodies beside me” she started to sob.

Seul swallowed the knot on her throat, weary with the weight of her mother’s grief. She wondered how she could bear the pain alone all those years. She embraced her mother tight, “I am sorry that you have to go through that pain alone, mom” her tears finally cascaded down swallowing all the pain at once.

Mrs Hwang held her lovely daughter close to her “That…man..is he my father?” praying hard inside, Seul really hoped the things that came from her mother contradicted to what she had in mind.

Expelling a long sigh, she looked empty and worn out. Seul gulped down a huge breath of air through her mouth, because she was afraid to hear the truth. Even though, she realized it was not something that she can simply deny knowing they were sharing the same blood.

“I don’t know.. I couldn’t remember that night, I was drugged. He came to me out of the blue and claimed that you are his. I…dont want to trust him.. You are mine, my daughter. Even though, if he is your father, I will not let him come near you. Seul, stay away from him. He is planning to take you away from me” she said, her voice containing a hint of panic.

“I won’t let him take me away from you, I promise. You and Hoon are the only family that I have. Mom, don’t stress yourself. You are not well, we will talk about this later. You need to rest” she took her cold hand in hers, stroking it gently giving a little heat to the freezing hands.

“Are you alright?” Mrs Hwang asked worriedly. She was concerned of her daughter’s mental health though Seul had stopped taking medicine for her depression, still it could relapse.

Seul glanced over at her mother, secretly wiping her tears “I will be fine, don’t worry about me” she gave her a reassuring smile. The pain that she felt was nothing if she were to compare it with her mother, it was best to keep it to herself.

She pressed once more not convince with Seul response “Seul-ah, don’t keep it to yourself, cry if you want to cry, scream if you are angry, that is what normal people do” she caressed her cheeks softly in hope Seul would say something about her resentment. To her dismay, she remained stoic.

“It is okay, I am fine” Seul left a soft kiss on her forehead before stood up from her seat.

“Where are you going Seul?”

“I need some time alone, I won’t be late. Get some rest alright? Don’t wait for me” her weak smile was another way to indicate ‘no, im not okay please go after me and save me’ . In this situation, Mrs Hwang tried to find a solution more like somebody to ensure she would not do anything stupid.

She quietly grabbed her purse and made her way to the door leaving her mother who seemed about to lose her mind seeing her only daughter disappeared beyond the door. Pushing herself up from the couch, she grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contact. Hwasa or Wongeun were the best choice that she had, Seul needed someone by her side.

In fact, Mrs Hwang knew her daughter would not express her pain openly to anyone even with her, she was very conscious of what she’s about to say. To see how she fought back and recovered from her depression back then was a miracle.

However, that doesn’t mean it wont come back to haunt her.

Her eyes stopped at that one name in her contacts, the exact person that could be another miracle in Seul’s life. Without further ado, Mrs Hwang pushed the green button and waited for her calls to be answered.

“Yoongi-ah, it is ahjumma. I need your help..It is about Seul..”

This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2021. All Rights Reserved

[fresh-outta-jams]

Plastic Heart - Part 21

Namjoon x Reader Author: Admin Mo Summary: When you get the highly-anticipated BTS dolls for Christmas, your life takes a turn in a way you never could have expected. Note: Hey, so I know it’s been like a literal YEAR since I’ve worked on this, but I wanted to give you guys some more content and wrap up the story. This may or may not be the last I write of this. I’m not sure, but I was kind of winding down to the end of this when I was still actively working on it anyway. Keep your eyes peeled for the Epilogue. Warnings: None? Word Count: 2k

Prologue, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

A few months passed and your birthday was rapidly approaching. Namjoon was in a panic. He didn’t know what to get you. He’d get you BTS’ new album, but you already had it. He couldn’t get you the BTS Funko Pops because then, you’d just have more living toys running around your already-chaotic apartment.

Jin, currently, was in the kitchen baking a cake. He’d become human a few nights before, and just in time to learn how to make cake before your birthday. So, he was practicing. At the moment, he was putting a crumb coat on a lemon cake, as he’d learned from the internet.

“Jin, I don’t know what to get her.” Namjoon said, pacing around the kitchen. “She’s everything to me and I don’t even know what to get her for her birthday.”

“She will love whatever you get her, I promise. She loves you to pieces, Joon. It’s your first time celebrating ANY birthday, let alone hers.”

Namjoon took a breath, nodding. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“He IS right.” Yoongi piped up from his seat in the other room. “You’re overthinking it. Just go to the store and pick out something she’d like. A new sweatshirt or some movies or something. She’s not picky.”

“Or!” Hoseok ran into the kitchen, followed by Jimin. They were still only a foot tall each, but they were looking to change that as soon as possible. The remaining four had agreed to turn one by one, though, as not to overwhelm you with new human roommates. Plus, you were still looking for a bigger apartment to house everyone in. Your cozy little one bedroom was already too small for the four human inhabitants you had so far.

“You could make her something! You know, something from the heart!” Hoseok continued.

Jimin nodded. “I know she’d appreciate that.”

“That’s a good idea…” Namjoon thought, rubbing his chin. “I don’t think I have the skill to make anything, though…”

He was going to continue, but there was a knock on the door. Namjoon walked to answer it. When he pulled it open, Melody was waiting there, holding a reusable shopping bag full of champagne bottles.

“Oh, hey Melody, come on in.”

“I’ll be quick. I just have drinks for the party tomorrow. Figured I’d drop them off because I’m gonna be a bit late.”

“Yeah, of course. You can just set them on the counter.” Namjoon pointed back towards the kitchen, where Jin was still diligently working.

Melody stopped at the sight of him, staring for a long time. Namjoon chuckled a little at her reaction. You had mentioned Melody was a Jin fangirl.

“H-hi. Have we met?” Melody asked, brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

Jin looked up at her with wide eyes. “Um, no, not yet.” It was technically a lie. He vividly remembered the night when she, Ella, and Luna had slept over and he’d been in Melody’s perfect hands all night. “My name is Jin.”

Melody was stuck, staring at him with stars in her eyes. So distracted by his handsome face that she didn’t even notice Hoseok and Jimin quietly sneak back to your bedroom. “I’m Melody.”

Seizing the moment, Jin stepped forward and took Melody’s hand in his, kissing the back of it. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” She stared for another long quiet patch, her cheeks bright red, before he finally remembered her task. She set the champagne on the counter, giggling through her embarrassment and the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. “Um, well, I’ve gotta go, uh, do homework. See you guys later!”

She rushed out the front door, positive if she spent one more second with Mr. Handsome, she’d explode.

“Smooth.” Yoongi noted, saluting Jin. “Well done. And nice fake name, by the way. Aren’t we supposed to be throwing people off our scent?”

“It just slipped out!” Jin retorted. “She’s...beautiful.”

“Can we focus here? The party’s tomorrow, and I still don’t know-”

“Tell you what, let’s go out shopping right now and pick out something for your girlfriend. I’ll help. I think I have excellent judgement.” Yoongi stood up from his chair and slipped on his hat and mask.

“Good idea.” Namjoon nodded. He checked his phone real quick before slipping it into his pocket. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Yoongi nodded. “Jin, don’t burn the place down while we’re gone.”

Jin laughed. “No promises.”

***

You got home about an hour later. Namjoon and Yoongi were still out. You stopped at the mailbox outside and brought in the one thing inside it: a single envelope that said it was from your Aunt Matilda. She was your favorite aunt, the one who had inadvertently sent you on this whole journey to begin with. If it wasn’t for her, you wouldn’t have your amazing boyfriend at all.

You sat down on the couch to open it, but were interrupted by a stubby little arm poking at your ankle. You reached down and lifted Koya onto your lap, petting his little head.

“How was your day today, Koya? Did your uncles take good care of you?”

“Of course we did, (Y/N),” said Tae. “We’re the best uncles ever.”

“Indeed you are. How silly of me.” You chuckled. “Do you know where Namjoon is?”

“He and Yoongi went out.” Tae answered, climbing up onto the couch. “To do some ~secret shopping~...”

“Oooh, secret shopping, huh?” You raised an eyebrow, chuckling as Koya got comfortable, already asleep on your leg. “Sounds interesting.”

You opened the envelope and pulled out not only a note written in your aunt’s gorgeous cursive handwriting, but also a necklace. It had a black chord, a blue crystal dangling from the pendant on it. You admired it for a moment before putting it on, and then you unfolded the note to read it.

“My dear (Y/N),

Happy Birthday! I am so proud of you. You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman. You are more powerful than you know. I see so much of myself in you and I’m beyond proud to call you my niece.

The necklace I enclosed was one I owned when I was your age. It served me well, and I hope it will serve you also.

I see so much greatness in your future. I hope you have fun on your next trip around the sun.

Blessed be,

Aunt Matilda”

She was cryptic, but she always had been. You smiled and folded the note, letting your fingers drift to the necklace hanging around your neck. Maybe you were going crazy, but you swore you felt it vibrating faintly.

While you were thinking about it, though, you heard a key in the door, and it opened, revealing your beautiful boyfriend and Yoongi, each of them holding a handful of bags.

“Aaah! Baby, close your eyes!” Namjoon said, and you laughed, lifting your hands to cover your eyes.

“They’re closed.”

“Okay, good. I’ll be right back. Stay put.” He said. You heard his voice as he walked past you. You heard him rummaging around a bit in the other room, and then he returned, his large hands gently removing yours from their spots in front of your face. When you could finally see him again, he was crouched down in front of you, the softest look in his eyes.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just missed you.” He replied, taking your face in both of his large hands and kissing your forehead gently.

You laughed. “It’s only been a few hours.”

“I know.” He motioned for you to get up, so you did, and he engulfed you in a hug, Koya cuddled between you. You snuggled deeper into his broad chest. Never did you think this would be your reality, but it was. You were dating the sweetest, kindest guy in the entire world, and the fact that he looked and sounded like your bias of seven years was just the icing on the cake. You couldn’t wait for your birthday and all of the birthdays after it, as long as you had Namjoon by your side.

***

The next night, all of your friends came over for your birthday party. Jin had made a beautiful cake, and there was plenty of pizza, pop, and alcohol to keep the good times rolling. Namjoon doted on your every want and need, making sure you were happy and well-cared for on every level.

“Namjoon, I am FINE. I don’t need anything else.”

“Okay. Just checking. It’s my girl’s big day after all.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer, kissing your forehead.

“Happy birthday!!!” Ella called, walking into the apartment with presents and a few bags of chips. “Let’s get this party started!!”

Yoongi set up a speaker and started playing the party playlist he’d put together, and you started dancing with the others, bopping around the kitchen. Hoseok, Jimin, Tae, and Jungkook were all in your bedroom with Koya, but you hoped they were having a good time, too.

It looked like Jin and Melody were hitting it off. You weren’t surprised. Melody had been a Jin stan since the dawn of time, so although your Jin didn’t look EXACTLY like Seokjin of BTS, he was as close as she was ever going to get, probably.

Namjoon watched you happily dancing and smiled to himself. So much had happened since he met you. He remembered a time not so long ago when he’d been a foot tall and made of plastic, hopelessly crushing on someone who didn’t even know he was alive. And then there was the fateful day where Taehyung sneezed and changed your whole lives. He’d been standing on your dresser, trying to calm you down. He’d been so tiny then, he reminisced, laughing softly. He had no idea what was in store for him, then, the giant world he was destined to join.

He wanted to be your boyfriend so bad that he’d manifested an entire new life for himself. One where you and him could FINALLY be together, and he couldn’t imagine things any other way.

“You okay?” You asked, gently tilting his face up towards you.

He was sitting in a chair, taking a little breather and staring at you with a familiar look on his face. “Of course I’m okay. Why?”

“You’ve got your thinky face on.” You laughed, moving his arm so you could sit in his lap.

His arms snaked around your waist and he rested his chin on your shoulder. “Just thinking is all.”

“About what?”

“You. It’s always you.” His deep voice murmured, his chest rumbling softly as he said it. “Happy birthday, baby.”

“Thank you.” You kissed the end of his nose and then his cheek, right on his perfect little dimple.

“Cake time!” Jin declared, lighting the candles. He was eager for people to try his baking.

You stood up from Joon’s lap and walked over to the lit cake. Joon followed, lacing his fingers through yours.

“Make a wish,” he whispered, squeezing your hand.

You mulled over it for a second and then you smiled, leaning forward to blow out the candles in one puff. As soon as the smoke started to rise, the necklace your aunt had given you glowed. You stared at it in shock, unsure of what it meant. It was then that the door to your bedroom opened, and a life size pink-haired Jungkook peeked out. He tentatively walked towards the kitchen, followed by Jimin, Tae, and Hoseok, all of them human.

“(Y/N)...” Ella asked, staring at them. “What the fuck did you wish for?”

“Noona, something weird happened.” Jungkook said, happy tears welling in his eyes. He pulled you in for a giant hug, which you gladly gave him.

“Yeah, you don’t say.” You giggled.

“I’m gonna be busy, aren’t I?” Luna laughed, shaking her head.

“I think we all are.” Yoongi added.

“What’s happening?” Melody asked.

Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s a long story…”

Tagged:  @coolcat494, @ffantasylandd, @feed-my-geek-soul, @ayoo-bangtan, @xxqueenwxtchxx, @cap-lu20, @finninpoposu, @coldbookworm, @sitkafay, @daniawinchesters21, @okaysoplshelpme, @zamirayinyue13, @douseeme16, @thetofuartist,  @iie-wakarimasen​, @lilgaga98​, @catbugsugarpea​,  @demonic-meatball​, @backtonormalthings​,  @kbowen9

[flooffybits]

Hi flooffy, how are you? I was going through your blog today and realized how many new posts you’ve written since last time I was there. I don’t know that much about SNSD (yet, I’m trying) but I really loved good enough anyways. Hurt/comfort is my favorite genre and you’ve definitely got a talent for writing it. I feel like you managed to describe and make the reader really feel the way y/n was feeling and the way Tiffany and Taeyeon dealt with it and helped her with the ease of obvious practice was really cute and well written.

The second part to your chase me story was amazing. I am so loving this story. It’s full of mystery and intrigue. So far, I’m imagining that maybe Y/N was part of their group in another life and the person she saw in the reflection is herself from that time maybe? And the others were cursed or something and need their last member to help them? I think y/n has somehow forgotten them all. Also, was the woman from the elevator Dami? I can’t wait for the next part. I’m so invested in it.

Take care was so cute. I absolutely enjoyed it, especially being jinsoul biased 😂. I love the way you add some humor in your writings sometimes with small comments, here it being Lip hitting Jinsoul cause she’s not letting her sleep. And the ending was really cute with Jinsoul admitting that she likes taking care of y/n and having her rely on her the same way she does on her. (1/2)

Oh wow, the third part to the DC story is already out. That was fast. Especially after how long the second part was. I’m wondering about Yoohyeon’s attitude. Maybe it’s not her not liking y/n but actually not wanting to get closer to her because she knows something has happened or is going to happen and she doesn’t want to get hurt so she’s pushing her away? Maybe y/n is the loved one she lost? You don’t have to answer my questions btw. This is just me sharing my predictions/thoughts.

Speaking off, my earlier prediction of y/n’s past self being the red head she saw in the mirror was clearly wrong since it’s handong but I still stand by my belief of it being something about y/n having been a part of their group before and she somehow forgot them all.

I also really liked the small glimpse into y/n’s life and I’m wondering what’s the story behind her relationship with her parents.

Okay I just got to the dream part and I’m happy to see some of my predictions were somewhat true. I noticed how you added so much of the lore in the nightmare series in that last part and I could actually picture it really well cause I was imagining the mv’s. I’m guessing the guy is the ghost hunter from the chase me mv maybe? Anyways, I didn’t even realize how long it was till after I’d finished cause it really drew me in and I seriously loved it. Like always, thank you so much for writing all of this.

Ooh also, that small teaser for the yvesoul story already has me imagining all kind of stuff 😂. I can’t wait for it. Thank you so much for writing my request. I hope you have a very good holiday if you celebrate it and if not, enjoy the winter break. -👀

SNSD was the very first girl group i started to stan in kpop. they’re pretty much the reason i got into it aside from Shinee. but yeah, writing it was something i found a bit easier to write since it’s something i have experienced, minus being comforted by a girlfriend/s lmao, i like writing hurt/comfort a lot since i also try my best to emit emotions through writing. that’s always been my aim ever since i started writing long ago.

Not gonna lie, Jinsoul has claimed the position as my bias wrecker in Loona even tho Lippie was higher before. the part about Kim Lip hitting her though, i thought was something that does happen since she likes to sleep and is grumpy if she doesn’t get it. also i just think Jinsoul is someone who likes taking care of others. so i added in that little snippet at the end

YveSoul is a really sad story right now, not gonna lie 😂 i told you I’d make it as angsty as possible so I’m hoping to deliver :3

the series is actually kind of inspired from their own lore with my own twists and ideas. i think the third part is the longest so far(?) in the series because i really went in with the introduction and slight details of the story there. parts 2-4(or 5) are just about narrating everything that readers (and Y/n) need to know about the girls’ lives and why y/n is such an important character. her past, especially with Yoohyeon is coming up soon, so your questions will be answered soon

[kachulein]

It's just Felix's voice is on another lvl and everytime his part comes in a song it's like "I knew it was gonna happen but I still feel attacked thank you" and ya I'd love to get some help in knowing who they are like, I recognize them most of the time but a guide to who's who wouldnt hurt mostly abt their personalities you know?

Oof I feel you so much with this. In the new album 아니 (Any) is my favourite song and I especially like Felix's part. His voice isn't as deep there but god, the tone of his voice is just so pretty?? It had me hooked from the start.🥺

And I'm really sorry for only answering this ask now, granted, I have to admit I felt very grumpy after tumblr deleted the whole guide I was working on but I finally finished the new, and definitely better/more organized one, so I hope this will be of help and that you'll enjoy reading through it~

A Guide to Stray Kids' Personalities

I'll put this under a cut as it got extremely long. :3

Bang Chan:

Chan is literally the biggest sweetheart and I keep referring to him as 'emotional support kpop boy'

he is so kind and caring - I mean he even hosts a weekly vlive broadcast to help stays fall asleep, he really cares about us/our problems and truly wants to help us feel better with his music and his words

truly does not have one bad bone in his body- he's super sweet and caring but when it comes down to business -music- he gets strict, maybe a little cold? but that's just because he wants everyone to do their best

he used to be (too) strict with Felix in the past but that was because he had a special bond with him/he liked him so much, so I assume he's the type of person who wants to see his loved ones succeed and do their best and so he might end up being a little too strict to them since he wants them to improve

he used to get more angry at the members when something didn't work out in the past but nowadays, he rarely loses his temper and he tries to stay away from them when he's really angry - he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings

he actually really likes acting cute!! he used to be the youngest member at jype and he used to hang out with older peers, so he got a habit of acting cute and giving hugs to others and now he does it to the members, haha so precious

he gets super shy and flustered when he's being complimented - he starts giggling and looking down, it's literally the most precious and he deserves to know how amazing he is because he truly is so humble

his humble self is what makes him a great leader as well since he's never greedy or selfish and always puts the members before himself - the members are his top priority and he definitely sacrifices some things for the team

but he also said he can't talk about himself well or he gets nervous when he's got a schedule by himself (like when he recorded his dance cover of 2pm's my house), so he really seems like someone who gains strength and confidence from having his team around him

he's very selfless and very supportive and encouraging but he can also be very funny and teasing

he's very genuine, sincere and nice and he's got an extremely strong sense of responsibility (vvv good trait for a leader ofc), he may seem a bit scary at first/in the past but the more you learn about him the more amazing you will find him and the more you will fall in love with him tbh

in general he's honestly top notch boyfriend material and also just a very wholesome and high quality human being

he also likes to lead and set the mood, he enjoys entertaining others and making them feel satisfied - he hopes that everyone can be happy, he wants to make people happy and then he will be happy, too

and ofc we can't forget how talented he is, music production/composition, making arrangements, writing lyrics, translating lyrics, speaking multiple languages, beautiful singing voice, amazing dancer (he's actually done ballet in the past), and also a great rapper

like tbh, what can't he do??? but believe me when I say, we're going to be asking ourselves this question quite a few times in this post

Minho:

Minho is the definition of a tsundere personality - even the members said so - at first glance you may notice that he can be quite savage and funny and maybe there's even a chance that he seems cold to some-

however, he's truly a sweet person and has a very warm heart and he selflessly cares about others without trying to make a big deal out of it - like, he'd never boast about helping others or doing someone a favour, he's the type to quietly take care of others

he doesn't like admitting to it but he truly cares a lot despite acting nonchalant most of the time - like one time Changbin asked him to get him something,,, and he shrugged it off as "nah dude, I'm not getting this for you" but he kept searching for it for 30 minutes when he couldn't find it - so that really shows it all (Changbin that dork asked Hyunjin to get it for him and then when Minho finally came back and said he couldn't find it, Changbin was like "oh shit sorry, I already asked Hyunjin to bring it to me." 🤦🏻‍♀️ #justiceforminho)

anyway, I don't want people to view him as just a pretty face who's an amazing dancer and a savage guy because he's soooooo much more than that, like there's a lot more to him below the surface -

DID YOU KNOW HE MAKES THREADED BRACELETS IN HIS FREE TIME??? THAT'S THE ABSOLUTE SOFTEST THING EVER BUT ALSO WHAT CAN'T HE DO??? SO MUCH TALENT IN ONE PERSON- (he wore one in his recent solo live and he said he made 7 in total and gave some to others, I wonder if some of the other members got one since I saw Hyunjin wearing a bracelet like that-)

he's a cat person which I love but he also resembles a cat so much?? a true kitty boy- he's very independent and self-reliant, he used to live by himself (I read that once), so he knows how to get around

he also enjoys things such as the smell of gasoline/gas stations or the smell of new buildings or even the smell of cat paws??? it's really odd but also really funny and his reason for it is that smells leave behind memories and I think that makes so much sense then-

he cares a lot about the wellbeing of animals and people and he even sponsors a child in Africa through UNICEF - my heart melted when I found out about that, he also can be seen wearing safety pins on multiple occasions and that just makes me feel like you'd be very safe with him

he can be a bit of an enigma though, even the members think he's "weird"/hard to understand as even they don't fully get him but I think that's his charm! he's not like everybody and he doesn't shy away from being himself

also, he never makes the younger members do stuff for him, on the dance team(s?) he was on predebut, he always used to be one of the youngest members so he said he never learned how to treat people younger than him (he's also an only child), so he's just comfortable with the younger skz members and I feel like they really appreciate it since it makes them feel as if they're all the same age

he also reads a lot and he's said that he reads many self-help books so that he can gain knowledge and help stays out there/convey the message of these books to them

with Minho it's really about the little things, he doesn't make grand gestures and that's why I think some people may overlook his kind and caring nature but if you really look closely, you can see it and it'll warm your heart

He's also very diligent and hardworking, albeit he seems to be someone who gets bored here and there ("I work out to kill time") he really has his goals and ambitions and he works hard for them.

His dancing is freaking amazing (@ jype pls he is a main dancer why is he rarely in center spot????) and his vocals and rapping have improved tremendously! He's got such a beautiful and angelic falsetto tbh you will fall in love with it-

So all in all, you can totally appreciate him for his wit and his savage comments but honestly, his kind and caring heart is what really made him my bias wrecker. I truly believe that he's a very caring and protective person and I find that so beautiful.

Changbin:

Changbinnie oh god, I have so much love for him and I can relate to him a lot. First of all, he always makes sure to be a good listener, so others tend to go to him with their concerns and he tries to take everything in that they say and then give them comfort

he cares a lot about other people's feelings and he puts a lot of importance on his relationships with other people - he wants others to feel comfortable around him and he is very thankful that the younger members also feel comfortable around him

he's a very honest person and doesn't pretend or fake anything, however, if his truth/his feelings would hurt someone else's feelings, he's not going to be honest. That doesn't mean that he's going to lie but he just cares a lot about not hurting other's feelings.

he said even if someone else's feelings are just a little bit hurt, it drives him crazy and he also said that he might be like that since he's sensitive and gets hurts by others easily (this is all so relatable😭)

anyway, Changbin is known for liking to joke around and also is one of the member who get teased by the others a lot, but fear not, he said that he actually enjoys when others tease him because that means they're comfortable with him and that makes him happy

how precious is that omg-

he makes jokes a lot but he is serious when he needs to be, he tends to be more fun around others/with others but is more serious when he's on his own, that's why he actually prefers to be around friends since it helps him forget about his own concerns

I guess he'd be an overthinker and to stop himself from overthinking he spends time playing around with the other members but in a way, I also feel a bit worried since he doesn't open up a lot and I hope he doesn't bottle up his feelings too much since I know how difficult that can be :c

on another note, Changbin is very focused on his health, he apparently works out every morning even when he's tired, he also cares about healthy nutrition and he takes supplements so that he can be healthier

apart from wanting others to feel comfortable around him, he also wants to be seen as a reliable person and it feels good to him when he can help someone/give them comfort

he's truly such a sweetheart and despite seeming so confident, I always feel like he might harbour a lot of insecurities underneath - but that's just my personal opinion, so take that with a grain of salt

the members also said he's the scariest when he gets mad but the sweet thing is that he always apologises to everyone after getting mad

even if he didn't get mad at everyone, he still apologises to them all, and it just shows what a good heart he's got-

and pls can we also talk about how talented he is as a producer, composer, lyricist, main rapper, and vocalist?? His voice is so beautiful and I hope he gets more confident in it and tbh he's also a really good dancer, so I hope he can get praised for his dancing more often as well (before he became a rapper he actually tried out dancing first)

so in conclusion WHAT CAN'T HE DO AND CHANGBIN BEST BOI GIVE HIM LOTS OF LOVE

Hyunjin:

"sexy boy" Hyunjinnie here is actually so much more than just a pretty face with great body proportions and amazing and sexy dance moves/skills

Hyunjin is the biggest soft boy, he's truly a sentimentalist - he gets hurt easily, Seungmin compared him to a snowflake that breaks when it touches the ground

he first thought of himself as mentally strong since that's what helps him overcome all the difficulties but later on (in that video) he felt like he was more mentally weak

he cares a lot about other people's opinion of him and it's really hard for him to ignore hate comments, he gets really sensitive about those (pls for the love of god, what a**holes are sending this precious angel hate?!?!?!?! I WANNA FITE (ง'̀-'́)ง)

with that being said, he's a very emotional boy, he tries to control his emotions or hold them in but he gets influenced by them quite often

he's also very honest with his feelings, so when he expresses them and when he breaks down, they all just burst out of him and he ends up spilling everything he's held in for a while

he doesn't really express his emotions skillfully (don't @ me, Changbin said that) so that can make you feel a bit sorry for him or it can make you feel like you want to take care of him because he's so innocent, naive and trusts easily

like really, he is, he almost got abducted by a cult once- SOMEONE PROTECT HIM PLS-

he also gets immersed in things very easily and boi do I feel him on this one; especially when he watches dramas, he gets so immersed and feels like he's living through the drama as if it happened to himself, he puts himself in the shoes of the male/female main character and the storyline just affects him so much that he often ends up crying (same same😭)

it also happens when he reads webtoons or so, he's also a huge fan of reading - ever since an acquaintance recommended him some books when he was going through a hard time and those books comforted him in a way that words never could - that was the start of his interest in reading

from the outside, we also know him as a bit of a drama queen which actually makes for so many hilarious moments - this impulsive/emotional side of him is just so authentic and he said that there's no side of him that he hasn't shown to stays

he can also be quite critical tbh and he's got his own standards for his likes and dislikes, so when something doesn't meet his standards he breaks down akdksksoals but when there's something he doesn't want to do or thinks doesn't serve him, he's got no problem cutting it off

despite that, he can actually get swayed by other people quite easily (hence, him being trusting and naive), when others make suggestions, he often agrees to them but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have his own opinions whatsoever, because he does have those as well

it's just easy to sway/persuade him, even when it comes to things like shopping - he rarely goes shopping tbh, despite dressing so well - but when he does, then he'll go get the things he finds pretty but when someone points something out and says "that's pretty" he'll buy it (so in conclusion, I really wanna go shopping with him now)

so yeah, Hyunjin is amazing and he's so compassionate and emotional and empathetic and I love him so much wtf and he's so hardworking and talented and his dancing is so amazing and his rapping has become so damn good, like his voice is loud and stable like good job baby🥺, I'm so proud of you🥺, and his singing voice is so soft and lovely, and he's also great at taking pictures- and aaaah seriously what can't he do??? he is a full package imo and you cannot escape his charms even if you try-

Jisung:

okay so Jisungie is seriously such a precious and shy bean and you don't really see this at first glance because he's so sociable, outgoing and cheerful when he's with the members

but that's the thing: he's close to them and they make him feel comfortable and confident, so he feels at ease and can show a more talkative side of himself - he's even the one who usually leads the conversation

he's extremely funny, has a lot of wit, is great at doing acrostic poems and in general, he's just such a creative person with many amazing ideas - some may call him a genius😌

but coming back to that shy side of his; he's actually a very introverted person; he doesn't like to leave the house and and hates moving in general - Jisung in bed is Jisung in his natural habitat tbh

on days off he prefers to stay indoors, lay in bed, and just watch youtube videos or tv shows or something - he doesn't like to go out or do outdoor activities and his eyes are always glued to the phone (relatable)

even when he's eating with the members he's having his earbuds in and watches something on his phone and then he gets really creative and uses all kinds of things to mount his phone (again, so relatable hhhh)

his routine is something like watching youtube videos/cartoons etc., falling asleep, waking up, spacing out and then repeating the whole process-

he sleeps really well and he can actually fall asleep in the weirdest places, it really shows how he can fall asleep everywhere but maybe he also seeks special hideouts to nap because he doesn't like being woken up and if the members can't see/find him, they also can't wake him... you get it hahaha~

Chan thought that maybe Jisung watches all these things on his phone as a way to escape reality and to relieve stress but Jisung also said that he gets a lot of inspiration from cartoons and videos to write lyrics - due to watching all these videos he actually harbours a lot of random trivia knowledge, which fits the genius description~

however, despite this outgoing side when he's with his close friends, he actually gets scared easily, may it be heights or dark places or meeting new people - protect him omg - especially with strangers he's extremely shy -> the introvert showing

he actually doesn't talk at all when he has to meet new people, he gets very nervous and awkward and scared - when they're at music shows and there's a lot of people around, he gets very nervous - he said he's never been good at making friends and he only keeps a few close friends

when he gets close to people, however, he becomes extremely talkative with no limit, he's also very affectionate and warm-hearted, his sentimental, soft and dreamy side really coming through

so basically, he's very cheerful on the outside but thoughtful on the inside - he's actually very mature despite the goofy and silly/playful side he usually shows us -> Changbin once said that Jisung feels like an older brother to him because of how mature he is, he really is a deep thinker and I guess that's also a reason why he's so amazing at writing songs

Jisung also got something we're all envious of; he can eat lots of unhealthy things without gaining weight - he loves sweet things (but also chips) and he frequently eats late night snacks and luckily for him, his face rarely puffs up despite those late night snacks, there's only been a few occasions during which that happened (and I think I got a picture of one of these instances hahahaha he really looks different with a puffy face, so cute!!!🥺😂)

he's also just such an adorable person and it's so soft and cute and fun to watch him get excited and he absolutely loves to receive praise and he's just such a baby boy tbh :(( jisung protection squad where ya at?? and well, of course, we can't end this without talking about his endless list of talents like WHAT CAN'T THIS MAN DO??? producing songs, composing, writing lyrics, amazing rapping, amazing vocals, amazing dancing, drawing, voice imitations - he's seriously one of the most talented all-rounder out there and god I love him so much and you seriously can't escape his squirrel/quokka charms🥺

Felix:

if you need a definition or a personification of the word pure, it would be Felix, like seriously, this boy is so soft and precious we need to protect him at all costs

he's literally so nice, so sweet, so kind and so creative - he's often referred to as the "romanticist" in stray kids and yeah that really fits because you know what? he once surprised Seungmin for his birthday in the cutest way. He called him on his birthday and asked him for help (as an excuse) and when Seungmin came down, Felix was there with a birthday cake with Seungmin's nickname on it - he basically organized this little surprise and Seungmin tried so hard not to cry🥺🥺🥺

Felix is so considerate and cares a lot about the other members, he's usually more of a quiet person but when he feels comfortable around someone, he can get really talkative

but him not talking doesn't mean there's nothing going on inside of him - he's literally got so many thoughts running around in his mind and he's truly an overthinker - he talks to himself in his mind a lot

he also loves playing games and he can seriously go on playing until 6am, the members said that he is very good at concentrating (for example when he studies Korean) but especially also when he's playing games

Felix said that playing games is something that helps him relieve stress or it's what he does when he's tired - playing games is a distraction for him, so he can avoid thinking of whatever's troubling him

however, recently he wants to focus more on his concerns and worries, he thinks it's not something he should avoid, so now he tries to focus on these worries and talk about them/express them more since he thinks it's important to do so

something that's really cute about him but also worrisome is that he gets sleepy easily, especially after eating, so whenever they got dance practice, he tends not to eat in order to avoid getting sleepy :(

protect him pls and pls lixie don't avoid eating~ especially when having dance practice you need your energy and it's not good to have an empty stomach and fill it with coffee and sweet beverages instead of food :(

anyway, Felix is winsome and cute and an absolute cuddle buddy, he says he doesn't really know what it means to act cute but I suppose he's just naturally cute and adorable- I MEAN C'MON-

whenever Felix talks about serious matters, it's like he needs some sort of comfort afterwards so he requires a lot of cuddles (but the members said that after a while it gets too hot (I guess because of his body heat??) so it can be hard for them to cuddle him for long periods of time :'))

Felix is also known as our sunshine, he always wants to give a positive and happy impression to others/us stays even when he might be dealing with negative thoughts, it's too precious but I hope he also takes care of himself

but trying to be optimistic and think positively instead of letting the negative thoughts consume you is already a good start and I feel like Chan also helped him a lot with this, Chanlix best soulmates ever

Felix has high expectations (it seems) and he always wants to do better and do well, he's working hard on improving himself and it really shows!!

his singing voice improved so much (as well as his rapping!! and I mean H I S  V O I C E in general oof😭🥺) and his dancing is freaking amazing!! I hope he can become confident in himself because he deserves to be happy with the person he is since he's such a huge inspiration to so many of us!! SERIOUSLY WHAT CAN'T HE DO?? he shows us that we can achieve anything with practice and hard work and that's so inspiring PLS EVERYONE LOVE OUR FELIX SUNSHINE

Seungmin:

I think the first words that come to mind when thinking of Seungmin is how diligent and clean/organized he is. He was one of the only (if not THE only) trainee who never missed a day of writing his trainee logs

he's not just diligent but extremely hardworking overall and he describes himself as serious and a bit funny - he's got very strong willpower tbh

he may also be known for teasing the members, especially Jeongin, or for nagging when someone (looking at you, Jisung) leaves behind a mess at the dorm but he is truly a sweetheart and he doesn't mean any harm

and in turn, he's also one of the members who gets teased the most- when that happens he becomes upset but he recovers very quickly as he often thinks it's not worth getting mad over

like honestly, he is a puppy, he can't do no harm :< but yeah, Seungmin is actually extremely soft, emotional, empathetic and supportive!! I've been keeping an eye on him recently and whenever something happens to a member (on a variety show - for example when one member shows off something and embarrasses himself or so), he's always there to give them a hug, comforting them

he also always tries to cheer other members up when they feel down, then he may act silly or he does/say something that's supportive because he truly cares about the members and doesn't like seeing them in pain

he's also someone who cries very easily, showing how he's truly an emotional baby but don't be phased, he's actually very emotionally strong and it's something very admirable about him

he has God sent vocals, his dancing is amazing and omg have you heard rapper!Seungmin?? Tbh I dig it!! He strictly takes care of his voice since his vocals and recording songs is very important to him - he dresses warmly when it's cold, always wears a mask and tries not to get sick

he's also very good at taking photos and he always brings his camera to official schedules and takes photos of the members. SEUNGMIN BEST STRAY KIDS FANSITE!!!!!

if you ever hear a weird noise, especially something sounding like "GAAAH" or "DA", it's probably Seungmin. He's truly a puppy, he's so cute and adorable, I feel like he's the type of person you can't get mad at

he also manages himself well, from getting up early, to cooking food for himself if there's none, to taking care of his body and health - it's really admirable and he also practices his singing so diligently and it just s h o w s- he's so good

also, he actually wanted to become a baseball player when he was a kid and we're still waiting for him to show us how he plays-

but also!!! he is a very smart and logical person (he wanted to be a prosecutor if he wasn't in stray kids) so he's got both the logical and also the very loving, empathetic side since he's also very considerate of the members - he seems to be a really good listener to them, this is just a personal observation from watching two kids room episodes- and he's actually the only member who thinks before he speaks- THANK YOU SEUNGMING I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE DON'T JUST BLURT EVERYTHING OUT-

so really ???? WHAT CAN'T HE DO HE IS A FULL PACKAGE- and fun fact, he brushes his teeth around 6 times a day-

but anyway, Seungmin is the type of person who appreciates the small things in life and finds happiness through those. I really like that attitude and he's truly someone worth looking up to. Our multitalented dandy boy- you can only love him~

Jeongin:

Jeongin here may be the youngest - and granted he is absolutely cute and adorable no matter what he does - but he's actually also a very mature person and I feel like that can be overlooked since he's the youngest of the team

while it can be hard for him to share his struggles as there's no one else his age in skz, he's also generally a person who doesn't want to burden others with his hardships so he keeps a lot of stuff to himself (so relatable)

but recently his mom talked to him about him not sharing his feelings and he's trying to open up more and share a bit, when the other members ask him if it's been hard, he often bursts into tears - god, protect him pls

even though he doesn't talk or show that much there's these moments - one time he was eating with Hyunjin and just broke down in tears since it's been hard for him - I suppose he bottles stuff up and then it comes out all of a sudden

however, his mature side is still there and the members, especially Hyunjin or Chan really enjoy sharing their feelings with him

Jeongin is a really great listener, he doesn't try to give solutions, he just listens to the other person and then shares his own experiences - it's what makes him seem mature

though he also has a bit of a mature and even cold look, so usually the first impression he gives off is different from his actual self and he said he enjoys seeing how people get surprised when they get closer to him and learn about his true self

he's also extremely clumsy and causes trouble often - from breaking doors, to accidentally hurting members, to spilling stuff, he's a clumsy boi

and he's also really forgetful, he tends to forget when he orders something online and gets surprised when it suddenly arrives or he forgets where he put his belongings (like his airpods jajdjskdks) and then he just buys new ones and then loses them again after a few months- aish that boi-

but these things are also what makes him even more lovable, like yes, he definitely has a mature side about him but you just want to protect and take care of him when you see him, amiright???

the members also said (or more like Hyunjin said) that he doesn't know anyone who's kinder and nicer than Jeongin

and on top of that, he's also a very hardworking member and his dancing and his vocals have improved soooooo much, and I'm so so so proud of him, like his voice is so beautiful

and he's been getting into working out recently, so now he's also trying to take good care of his body and wow, he's been doing a really good job even the members commented on how his back/shoulders are becoming broader

all in all, Jeongin is the cute and adorable maknae of Stray Kids but he's also so much more than just the youngest member and he's got so many things going for him and he always pushes through even when it's hard and never gives up

it's truly admirable like what can't he do right????? pls show our cute baby lots of love uwu

[naoyatoudo]

i need to rant about how zzs was treated in shl hold on spoilers for the end of the drama

still pissed. i hate HATE HATE that zzs was shoved to the side and became the little side piece to wkx’s story of revenge. hello? he’s the MC. ZZS is the MC. WKX is the ML. this is not the wkx story this is the zzs story, literally, he is the main character. why does he just drop back into the background at some point, shoved into a corner, used only to make wkx look good? hello? how the fuck is it that he was captured and tortured for days but no one asks after him or shows much care when he comes back...........it just goes to wkx’s stupid plan that he DOESN’T TELL ZZS ABOUT? HELLO?

and after wkx “dies” no one even thinks to keep an eye on zzs despite him literally trying to commit suicide to follow after him before. how the fuck could they just leave him alone?? and then even when zcl and jby and wx learn about him taking out the nails they just are like. ok bye :) at least zcl cries but  THE FOCUS IS STILL ON WKX??????????? THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME OUTSIDE LIKE 5 MINUTES??? AND WKX OF COURSE HAS THIS WEIRD OOC MOMENT AND LIES TO ZZS AND ACTS LIKE ZZS DESERVES IT AS IF HE HASNT LIED TO ZZS MULTIPLE TIMES NEAR THE END DESPITE THE FACT THEY HAVE A WHOLE THING ABOUT NOT LYING TO EACH OTHER BUT WHATEVER. HAHA. WHO CARES RIGHT? AS LONG AS WKX LOOKS SYMPATHETIC AND GOOD! FUCK. IT’S SO OBVIOUS THE SCRIPTWRITER HAS A WKX BIAS IT MAKES ME FEEL ILL.

I’M SO ANGRYYYYYYY HOW ZZS WAS TREATED LIKE SHIT IN THIS. LIKE GREAT SO YOU TOOK AWAY HIS DECISION WITH HIS LIFE TO SACRIFICE YOUR OWN SO HE’D LIVE FOREVER AND TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN AND CAN ONLY EAT SNOW. ALONE. FOREVER. HOW KIND OF YOU. IT’S NOT LIKE YBY HAS A WHOLEEEEEEE EXTRA ABOUT HOW MISERABLE THAT IS OR ANYTHING IN THE NOVEL RIGHT? FUCK OFF. HOW DARE YOU DRAMA WKX.

NOT TO MENTION HOW THE COSTUMES AND MAKEUP WERE CLEARLY HIGHER QUALITY FOR WKX...LIKE REALLY? REALLY?????/ ASIDE THE NEW YEARS ONES IT’S SO STARK HOW MUCH MORE MONEY WENT INTO WKX’S LOOK. AND THE AMOUNT OF TIMES WE HAVE TO SEE THE SAME STUPIF FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF WKX YES I KNOW HIS PAST YES I GET IT I DONT NEED TO SEE IT EVERY EPISODE 3 TIMES.

THE NOVEL. IS ABOUT. ZZS. IT’S ABOUT HIM LEARNING TO MOVE ON AND SPEND HIS LIFE FREELY. WITH HIS OWN DECISIONS. AND BE HIMSELF. SINCE HE COULDN’T DO ANY OF THAT WHILE STUCK SERVING THE EMPEROR (PRINCE HERE, WHATEVER). AMAZING HOW WKX TAKES THAT AWAY FROM HIM AT THE END OF THE DRAMA AND IT’S PLAYED AS GOOD AND ROMANTIC. WKX’S REVENGE PLOT IS IN THE BACKGROUND AND IN THE END HE LITERALLY /LITERALLY/ CHOOSES TO LIVE SO HE CAN BE WITH ZZS. THERE IS NO SACRIFICE ON HIS PART. ZZS DOES NOT GET INVOLVED IN HIS SHIT EXCEPT TO SAVE HIM AT THE END. ZZS LITERALLY STATES WKX’S PLOTS ARE HIS OWN AND HE HAS NO RIGHT TO BUT IN IN THE NOVEL.

WHY DID YOU WRITE ZZS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHO HE IS? I GET CHANGING THINGS TO MAKE HIM PALATABLE FOR  A WIDER AUDIENCE BUT COME ON. AND HIS CRYING AND SIMPERING..LIKE..>???????????? EVEN THEN FINE. BUT THEN YOU TURN HIM INTO A SIDE PIECE WHO JUST IS THERE FOR WKX TO LOOK GOOD. I AM SSSSSO MAD AND I’M GLAD APPARENTLY CHINESE FANS ARE TOO (?) . he deserved better. he did not deserve to be cast aside so the limelight can be on wkx. i feel so bad for zzs and for his ACTOR because even with the actos everyone is soooo focused in wkx’s actor.

wkx’s actor did well don’t get me wrong, glad he is getting attention, but zzs’ actor did really well too.......ugh. the way people are so into wkx and just use zzs as a piece for him even in fics now..like whya re so many fics zzs crying over wkx dying or being a comfort for an upset wkx?? zzs is the one who is literally in pain every single day, was literally tortured and betrayed, lost EVERYONE from his sect, and the whole shit show with wkx’s fake death HE WASN’T TOLD WAS FAKE. SO HE HASTENED HIS DEATH. but no it’s all about wkx and wkx’s emotions right? fuck off.

i’m gonna write so much stuff for zzs. im gonna write jby noticing zzs is upset and confronting and comforting him. for a supposed best friend in the drama he didn’t do fucking much. idk why wx and jby were even there, in the novel they cure him but here they just. what give him medicine so he can live an extra week? wow great.

im so sad we didnt get to see all the things zzs thinks in the novel that show how affected he is by everything and how traumatized he is. i hate how they made his shizun this friendly father figure when he was a rough person who died and left everything for zzs to handle alone at FIFTEEN. i hate how they made zzs the prince’s cousin for NO FUCKING REASON when zzs was just some guy from a family in the jianghu who befriended the prince to help his sect survive.

why is it the series starts off well and with zzs as the mc and switches at some point to be the wkx show? i still like wkx but im so........disappointed. im so disappointed if my rants didnt say it enough ufbhvndskm, especially how the other characters dont notice how upset or pained zzs is at any point?? how the fuck did jby not??? amazingly zcl is the best with it...T__T

also why is it they fight constantly and even though zzs is literally right usually wkx is the sympathetic one and they never talk it through zzs just kind of goes back over to him and they act like normal?? hello??? yeah, uh, zzs was RIGHT. INNOCENT PEOPLE WERE LITERALLY BEING KILLED FOR WKX’S PLAN. YES ZZS WAS RIGHT. IT’S HIS LIFE IF HE WANTS TO JUST DIE FROM HIS WOUNDS AND NOT LOSE HIS MARTIAL ARTS HE CAN. does no one remember in the novel when wkx tries to destroy his martial arts zzs stops him with a “if anyone should understand, it’s you..” and wkx just stops and says “yes...i..i understand...” and respects zzs’ wishes???

what were their other stupid fights? oh yeah zzs again saying innocent people die and oh look he was right again. when wkx betrays zzs’ trust and does his fake death without telling him zzs doesnt even get mad at him. meanwhile wkx raged at him for choosing his own path in life that wkx didnt want...right, that’s good. then the fucking end with wkx saying it’s his turn to lie to zzs like he didnt before. i would punch wkx into the ground for that. fuck you asshole, are you kidding me with this shit??

also why did it take so long for zzs to realize who wkx is in the drama?? in the novel they figured each other out right away almost... why is zzs weaker physically and not as smart.. T_T and he took his disguise off earlier so the fangirls wouldnt have to deal with the “ugly” (wasnt even ugly) look...i know it would never have happened but i feel like wkx’s reaction to his real face was kind of understated. i’ve already said i dislike the shidi-shixiong thing but i do get why they did it so whatever.

im mostly mad about how zzs was picked up, slapped around, and thrown outside.........

scriptwriter why do you hate zzs.......?

[folkloreguk]

Heal (optional bias)

A/N: I was gonna write smut but this turned out completely different. This is for everyone who’s depressed, sad or simply having a hard time or a bad day. You are never a bother, and I hope you can call out to somebody when you need it. It’s okay to stop and take a rest when you need it. You are not weak for breaking now and then and you are worthy of all the happiness in the world! I hope this will bring a little comfort to some of you.

words: 1.1k

genre: angst? fluff? / showering together (but not in a sexual way at all)

pairing: idol (male) x reader (no gender)

[masterlist in my description!!!]

A tear ran down your cheek silently, a pain-filled sigh falling from your lips. You weren't in physical pain, though. But with the weight of the stress and all the pressure on you, it might as well have felt that way. Even your bones felt heavy and tiredness covered you like a dark blanket. Your back was on the soft blanket of your bed and you seriously debated whether you should simply crawl underneath it, let the world be and fall asleep.

But although you were tired there were things you had to do, housework to finish and you desperately needed a shower. But more importantly, you knew you weren't going to fall asleep anyway. Not alone. Not in a bed that felt like an ocean when you lay in it on your own. I need someone, you thought, and tears welled up in your eyes again.

Nothing hurt your chest more than loneliness at that moment. You could have been crushed by your own four walls, but nothing felt more empty and hallow than your own heart. You couldn't bother him now.

He had dance practice for a really big event, and you knew it meant the world to him. No way, you couldn't disturb him, not now. He would be home in an hour, hopefully. But you needed someone. The familiar pain soaked through your chest once more. It gripped your heart, with sharp fingertips, and twisted it with a crushing hold. You hadn't opened your eyes in a while, but then you fished for your phone.

And you started typing. Your fingers flew over the keyboard so quickly as you poured your emotions into the message to your boyfriend. You told him that you didn't want to bother him so you didn't call, and how you wished he was there, and how you were feeling so low. It all came out so suddenly, when you had finished typing you felt a little dizzy. Even though you knew he wouldn't be able to look at his phone at the moment, a tiny part of you felt better after you had typed out how you felt.

Softly, you fell backwards onto the bed again, eyes closing. You lay that way for a while. With you eyelids closed and the noise of the world far away, you could at least pretend to be okay. What would he tell you now? As well as you knew him, he always surprised you with words. The idea of him coming home soon gave you enough motivation to actually get back up.

You dragged your tired body to the bathroom, laying out comfortable clothes before turning on the water. Your skin felt numb as you shed off your old clothing. You had expected the warm water to feel comforting, but really it only felt hot and more numbing. It reminded you too much of your own tears, you realized, and tried hard to stop yourself from crying again. Normally you would begin to clean your body by now, but something inside you couldn't. Just a little while longer you needed to just stand there. The steam felt thick and overwhelming in your lungs, but you didn't feel like changing even the temperature.  

Within minutes your shower door had fogged up completely, but you noticed the familiar figure that had entered the bathroom instantly. Instantly, it seemingly lit a small candle in your heart. Again, your eyes began to water. You watched as he took off his clothes and approached you.

His warm smile at you only made you cry harder. Without question, he opened his arms and took you in. You couldn't stop a loud sob from escaping your lips. And his hands rubbed over your back soothingly as he softly said your name.

“I-” you began, but you were interrupted by another sob.

“Shh, it's okay,” he spoke, and his voice gave you more comfort than any warm shower could ever. “I read your texts, I know what's going on.”

Your arms wrapped around his waist tightly as he softly stroked your skin and your head. He let you cry into his chest, softly telling you that it was going to be okay. And you believed him.  

“Baby,” he said quietly, making you look up at him. His hands cupped your cheeks gently as you watched him through teary eyes.

“You can always call me if you need me,” he said. “I know you felt like you couldn't, because we have a big show coming up, but no show will ever be more important than your well-being. Don't put yourself in second place because you think you're bothering or interrupting something. Your happiness should always be the number one priority. Okay?”

Looking at him with a blurry vision, you nodded and reached for his neck. Softly, you pulled his lips onto yours and the little flame in your heart lit up into a bigger one. It felt warm, and comforted. Like everything was going to be okay. Like you were going to be okay.

Later, when you had both come out of the shower and you entered the kitchen and living room, a small wave of stress fell over you again. You had so much to do and that wasn't even your main problem.

“Come, on, let's tuck you into bed,” he said, grabbing your hand and pulling you away and into the bedroom. You wanted to protest, how were you going to sleep knowing there was so much to do.

“I know you're stressed about housework,” he said, as if he had read your mind. “You stay here, under the blankets and I will do it for you.”

“But-” you wanted to stop him, but he was faster.

“It's no problem for me, and you need to rest and think of other things now,” he insisted. “If you wait, I'll come to bed as quickly as possible.”

You couldn't even lie, his request helped you immensely. Instantly, you felt like a weight was being lifted off you as you snuggled up beneath the covers. From the living room, you heard his soft humming of one of your favorite songs. Slowly, you closed your eyes.

Only later, when you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, your eyes fluttered open again. His scent filled your senses as he kissed your cheek softly.

“Tomorrow's a new day,” he said. “Things are gonna look different and you're gonna be just a little stronger than you were today. I love you.”