#wrote a long version of this thing

[v-67]

A bleeding heart?

A seething sword?

Or was it always just

An empty place

Pumping blood

Wandering feelings within me

Furiously revolt.

They look for a home,

A heart they yearn.

This heaviness,

A piercing sensation

Is it a revolt?

A cry for help?

My feelings riot within me,

Some empty tears

Yearn

And yearn,

And.... how they keep yearning,

For simply a heart

They could cry to?

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

[intramoon]

Nes + Erin: partners in crime & platonic soulmates & always dressed coded (+ Erin all grown-up. ;-;)

[youngpettyqueen]

for prompts, might I suggest a number 14 with Julian takin care of Kira, and a ‘it feels worse than it looks—no wait-‘ with Julian being a bad patient?

oh my god I finally fucking finished it.

I am SO SORRY this took so long I got hit with. the most violent writer's block ive had in a HOT minute and this had me fighting for my life. I dont even know how many times I wrote and rewrote this. I went through so many different ideas it was actually ridiculous. at one point I had something finished but it Was Not Good and I dont believe in posting writing I dont like so I scrapped it and started again

I keep waffling on whether or not I like this, but thats entirely because ive spent way too long staring at it. im sure in a few days ill actually really like it, cause I really like the dialogue, which was what I wrote out first. pulling myself out of my perfectionism, I do think I like this, and at the very least im proud of getting it down when it gave me so much trouble

again, im so sorry it took so long, but writer's block is a bitch and ive had a lot going on lately, so I hope you understand <3

for the readers- 14 on the list is "Stop pretending that any of this is ok. It's not." I did adjust that one a bit cause I was having trouble making it flow. but, without further ado, here's what I've got! 

Kira slides down with her back against the wall, grinding her teeth as she clutches at her wounded shoulder. The pain is still hot, the hole burned into her skin practically still smoking. She hisses as her palm makes contact with the sticky, raw flesh, but she still clamps down. 

“Anytime you wanna get over here, Julian!” She calls, her voice strained. 

“Doing my best, Major!” Julian calls from where he is, hunkered down behind some debris as a makeshift shield against the barrage of disruptor fire. 

This is, in eloquent terms, a right fucking mess. Getting into a fight with a bunch of Jem’Hadar soldiers is never a good thing, even when they’re prepared. When they’re not prepared, it’s even worse. And this time, they weren’t prepared. Because there weren’t supposed to be any Jem’Hadar on this planet. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop for the Defiant, replacing some whatsit that O’Brien said was damaged in their last firefight, but then there were Jem’Hadar soldiers and they’ve managed to land themselves in a whole different firefight. 

It really just hasn’t been a great week. 

Kira inches closer to the wall’s edge. Her grip on her phaser isn’t stable, but it’ll have to do. She takes a deep, steadying breath, and then she twists over so that she’s peering out from behind the corner. She spots the Jem’Hadar pinning them down, quick count tells here there’s 3 of them, and she snaps her phaser up to hit them with some fire of her own. The motion pulls at her injured shoulder in a way that makes her want to scream, but she bites down on it. 

Julian, bless him, takes the opportunity to lunge out from behind the debris. He scrambles across the gap, barely dodging the returning fire from the Jem’Hadar, and manages to throw himself down behind the security of the wall. He plasters himself up against the wall beside Kira, right as she ducks back behind cover as the Jem’Hadar’s fire intensifies. 

Kira looks at him. He looks at her. He’s breathing hard and heavy, his hair a mess and dirt and blood staining his face. She musters up a grin to tell him, “You’re late.”

Julian gives her a flat look as he turns to her. “Forgive me, it’s a bit difficult to make house calls in the middle of a battlefield,” He replies, sounding very, very tired. But then his eyes flick to her bloody hand, still clamped over her wounded shoulder, and she watches his expression shift as he clicks back into what’s affectionately referred to as doctor mode, “Let’s see that shoulder, then.” 

Kira moves her hand, letting Julian get a look at the wound. She winces as he pulls aside the burnt fabric, taking a deep breath in through her nose and resisting the reflex to jerk away. “How’s it look?” She asks, mostly just to distract herself. 

“Like it needs more than what I’ve got,” Julian replies, frowning, “The dermal regenerator I have will do for now, but this is deep. I’ll need to immobilize your arm,” He tells her, giving her an apologetic look, “If you move it too much, you’ll risk tearing it open again.”

“Just do what you have to,” Kira tells him, “Won’t be the first time I’ve had to shoot myself out with only one arm.” 

Julian nods, and returns his attention to her wound. “Right,” He pulls his kit up and rifles through it for a second. The first thing he pulls out is a hypospray, which he quickly sticks into her neck. Kira relaxes fractionally as the painkillers immediately start to work, dulling some of the burning in her shoulder. Then he’s pulling out the dermal regenerator, and bracing his hand against her shoulder again, “Try to hold still.” He advises.

Kira just gives a tight nod, already gritting her teeth and bracing herself. She feels the dermal regenerator start to work. The hypo helps, but it doesn’t take away that burning, itchy sort of feeling of muscle and nerves and skin stitching itself back together inch by inch. She clenches her fists tight, breathing hard through her nose as Julian works. 

“Sorry, I know this stings,” Julian says, “I’m doing the best I can. This regenerator wasn’t meant for a wound like this.” 

Kira grunts a wordless acknowledgement. If she says anything, it’s just going to be a string of curses. Instead, she focuses on keeping her ear on the sound of disruptor fire, making sure it isn’t getting closer. If the Jem’Hadar decide to come after them, she wants to be ready. 

“Done,” Julian pipes up. She looks over as he puts the regenerator back in his kit, taking the worst of the pain with it and leaving her with a dull ache, “That’s the hard part done. I’m going to move your arm now,” His hands are gentle, taking her arm and carefully easing it away from her side, “There we go. Alright, hold it there, please.” 

Kira does. Julian sits back, and unzips his jacket to get at his undershirt. “This will have to do,” He tells her, tearing a couple of strips from his undershirt, “These won’t be the most comfortable, but they’ll have to do. I’m out of bandages.” He leans back in, starting to bind her arm with the torn fabric.

“Sorry about your shirt.” She cracks weakly.

“I’ll get a new one.” He replies, without so much as a smile.

She hates how flat his voice is. Hates how… unlike him, it is. Quiet, with no bite. “C’mon, Julian, where’s that boyish optimism of yours?” She asks, “I could really use a hit of it right about now.”

Julian secures the bandage around her arm. “I must’ve dropped it when they started shooting at us,” He says, not meeting her eyes, “Do me a favour, Major. Don’t pretend any of this is ok,” He sits back again, still not meeting her eyes, all caught up in taking in his work, “Cause it’s really not.” He does look her in the eye, then. And he looks so… tired.

But then, he’s looked like that for a while, hasn’t he?

Kira gives him a smile. A sad, quiet little smile. “I never said any of this was ok,” She corrects, “I’m just… used to it, at this point.” Very, very used to it. Used to it in a way she hopes he never is. 

Julian considers that for a moment. His expression is hard to read- sad, maybe. Sympathetic. Then he sighs, and breaks eye contact. “Well, I suppose I’m getting used to it, too,” He scrubs a bloody hand through his hair, “We should get going. Can you walk?” He asks.

No time for sentiment, then. Kira nods. “It’s just the arm,” She assures him, “I can do a hell of a lot more than walk.”

“Good,” Julian starts to push himself up to stand, “Let’s-“ He doesn’t get far. He wobbles suddenly, his eyes widening slightly as he nearly topples right over. He barely manages to catch himself, bracing a hand against the wall before he can fall against it.

Kira quickly reaches out to steady him. “Julian?” She sits up, frowning, “What’s wrong?”

Julian frowns, confused. “I… don’t know,” He says, looking down, “I can’t feel my-“ He cuts off, suddenly, his eyes fixing on something, “Ah.”

Kira’s brow furrows. “Ah? What’s-“ She follows his gaze, and comes to the same abrupt halt as she sees just what he’s found, “Ah.” 

Julian has a substantial wound in his thigh. A chunk of his pant leg has been burned away, revealing a raw, painful-looking burn that’s steadily oozing blood down his leg. Kira’s eyes widen at the sight of it. That doesn’t look good. That really doesn’t look good.

“Well,” Julian says, “That’s not ideal.” And then he sways alarmingly, nearly crumpling right to the ground.

“Julian!” Kira lurches forward, manages to catch him by the arms. He grimaces as he eases himself down, taking his weight off his injured leg, “Damnit, Julian, what were you thinking ignoring this? Gimme that tricorder-“ She reaches for his medkit, not waiting for him as she rummages through it herself.

“I wasn’t ignoring it!” He exclaims, “I couldn’t feel it! Honest!” 

Kira finds the tricorder and pulls it out. “Don’t tell me they augmented the ability to feel pain out of you,” He shifts again, adjusting his position to give her a better angle to scan him, and it draws a painful hiss out of him, “Guess not.” She hums.

Julian manages a weak chuckle, the first one she’s gotten out of him all day. “Not as such,” He confirms, “I’ve just been- gah!” He grinds his molars as she pulls the burnt fabric away from the wound, “Preoccupied.” He growls.

Kira huffs softly as she reads the results on the tricorder. It’s not a fun wound. “So busy trying not to get shot that you didn’t realize you got shot?” She asks, arching a brow at him, “I’m almost impressed.”

“Only almost?” Julian asks, all mock indignation, “I’d hate to see what I’d have to do to actually impress you,” He mutters. His eyes drift down, then back up at her. He looks worried, “How bad is it?”

Kira puts the tricorder down. “How bad does it feel?” She dodges. 

“Pfft, this little thing?” He scoffs, gives a weak little wave that’s probably went to ‘wave off’ the pain, “It’s nothing. Just a scratch. It feels worse than it… no. No, wait, that’s not right,” He blinks, and she can almost see the gears in his head turning as he tries to figure out the order of the words, “I don’t mean to alarm you, Major, but I think the shock might be setting in.” He tells her.

Kira can’t help but roll her eyes. “No kidding,” She says, “This isn’t my first time, Julian. Hand me the regenerator, I’ll do what I can with it.” She holds her hand out expectantly.

Julian hands it over. “Now who’s being serious?” He asks.

Kira adjusts how she’s holding him, making sure she’s holding the burnt edges of his uniform away from his skin so that she doesn’t accidentally fuse any fabric to him. “Oh, so you can make jokes,” She takes the dermal regenerator and adjusts her hold on it, making sure it won’t slide out of her hand, which is slick with blood, “I thought you dropped that along with your optimism.” She gets the regenerator going, doing what she can with the wound.

Julian chuckles again, grins at her. “I told you, the shock’s setting in,” He replies, all charm, “I’ll say anything just to say anything. Apologies, but I’m going to be talking your ear off until we get out of here.” He warns.

Kira keeps her eyes on her work, keeps her hand braced on his thigh to hold him still. “As opposed to when you don’t talk my ear off.” She counters. After a few seconds, she can see that the burn’s healed as much as it’s going to. She switches the regenerator off and hands it back to him.

“Rude,” Julian huffs, taking the regenerator and putting it back in his medkit, “How’d the regenerator do? I don’t want to look.” He’s looking even as he says it, like he can’t help himself. 

“It’ll hold,” She tells him, not seeing any point in sugar-coating it. He would see right through her in a second, “For now. I’m gonna bandage it, just in case,” She adds. Now it’s her turn to get at her undershirt, tear it up for strips of fabric, “I liked this shirt, you know.” She informs him as she does.

“I suppose we’re even, then,” Julian cracks weakly, “Have I ever told you you’d make a great medic?” He asks.

There’s the Julian she knows. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” She tells him. Satisfied with her bandages, she gets them ready, “I do have one question for you, Doctor.” 

Julian frowns, confused. Yeah, the shock really has set in if he can’t see what she’s doing. “Go ahead.” He invites.

Kira starts wrapping his leg. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” She asks.

He looks even more confused. “What are my-“ She yanks the bandages tight before he can finish, and he cuts off with a pitched yelp, “Fuck!”

Maybe it’s a bit mean to chuckle, but Kira can’t help it. She doesn’t often get to hear him curse. “Oh, language,” She tuts as she finishes tying the bandages off, “There. Nice and tight. That oughta hold you together till we get out of here.” She gives his knee a pat. 

Julian pouts at her. “You enjoyed that.” He accuses. 

“I did no such thing,” Kira replies smoothly as she pulls his medkit closer to her and starts rifling through it, not bothering to ask him, “Want a hypo?” She offers.

“No,” Julian shakes his head, making her stop short and give him an incredulous look, “I’ve only got the one left. Save it for someone who needs it.” He reasons. 

Her look quickly flattens. “Don’t start with the heroics, Julian,” She advises, “You’re not gonna be treating any patients until after you’ve been treated. On the Defiant.” She doubts he can even stand on his own, let alone treat people.

“I can hold out till then,” He insists, “Someone else might-“

“Julian,” Kira cuts in, not giving him any room to argue, “Take the fucking hypo.” 

Julian’s brows shoot up and he looks a little stunned. Just for a moment, though, before he huffs a bit of a laugh. “Now who needs to watch their language,” He says, his tone light and teasing, “Alright, go ahead.” He nods.

Kira takes the hypo out of his kit. “Oh, thank you,” She replies, making sure her own tone savours strongly of sarcasm, “You’re a terrible patient, you know that?” 

There’s that grin again. All charm. “So Nurse Jabara keeps telling me.” He replies, like the pain in the ass he is.

“You should listen to her. She’s always right,” Kira sticks the hypo in his neck, and watches his shoulders instantly sink down a notch. She didn’t even realize how tense he was, “Better?” She asks. 

Julian takes a deep breath. Probably the first one he’s taken all day. “…Much,” He admits, with the decency to look a little sheepish, “Thank you, Major.” His smile’s a bit less charm now, a bit more sincere.

Kira finds herself smiling back. “Anytime,” She says. She shoots a quick look around, regaining her bearings a bit now that they’re both taken care of. She can still hear blasters firing, but not as close. They might’ve moved off somewhere else. Or they could be waiting, “We should probably get moving.” She suggests.

“Probably,” Julian agrees, “Just one problem, though. I don’t think I can walk.” He tells her.

Kira figured. “Can you limp?” She asks, “I’ve still got two good shoulders, both perfectly good for leaning on.” She offers, patting her shoulder for emphasis.

There’s that glint in his eye. First time she’s seen it today- stubborn determination, or, in another word, cocky. “I think I can manage that.” He says.

Kira grins. “Great,” She ducks in and gets her arm around his waist, pulling him in snug against her as he wraps his arm around her shoulders, “Alright, lean on me. Steady. And…” She pushes herself up, and brings him with her. He leans heavy into her side, and she tightens her hold on him to keep him steady, “Up we go. Ready?” She asks.

Julian takes a moment to find his balance, shifting most of his weight off of his injured leg and compensating on Kira’s shoulder. “As I can be,” He tells her with a nod, “Let’s go.”

And they’re off. Making quite the sight as they hobble back into the action, pressed hip to hip and clinging tight to each other. But, hey, they’re still kicking, and they’ve still got their phasers, so they’ll make do. They always do. 

[leafy-m]

My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵

[wutheringmights]

what a train wreck

[pardonmydelays]

IN THE HEIGHTS countdown: 23 DAYS!

song for today:

i am usnavi and you prob'ly never heard my name reports of my fame are greatly exaggerated exacerbated by the fact that my syntax is highly complicated 'cause i immigrated from the single greatest little place in the caribbean dominican republic, i love it! jesus, i'm jealous of it, and beyond that ever since my folks passed on, i haven't gone back goddamn, i gotta get on that!

[fnafawoundleftbleedingau]

.... >.> gosh I need to rewrite AWLB part 1. That Roxy Remnant's chapter is definitely gonna have to have a note on it about how much things have changed since I wrote the Original version of part 1. Still gonna tie together what I can, but, yeah. Definitely gonna be some inconsistencies to part 1.

[kimmkitsuragi]

STOP giving astarion different haircuts for the love of god

[andthebubbles]

tfw you're deliberately making yourself so attached to your fictional characters to combat loneliness

anyway i miss them. i was just writing them yesterday lmao

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

I keep listening to different pieces of music that I love and then my brain comes in all helpful with 'this sounds like great music to die with doesn't it'

[the-travelling-witch]

Oh wow, Asmo was almost one demon I really liked in OM but I never got to to into reading/seeing about him and what he does

He reminds me a lot of Kou not only look but personally from diabolik lovers, and just from that alone I can tell he does deeply care for his brothers and I find that sweet he’s just a misunderstood little baby

for me, asmo really toes the line of best friend and boyfriend, but he’s on the side of characters i like more than others (he and satan are on pretty much the same level; satan might be higher if the devs didn’t mess up so badly)

i’ve never played diabolik lovers so i can’t speak on how they compare but i highly recommend getting into asmo’s story/ chats/ calls because i think he’s a fascinating character that goes so much deeper than what’s usually shown (i guess that goes for every character… solmare could make a solo game for all of them tbh /lh)

[ravensroleplays]

Random Observation:

Okay, quick disclaimer: I haven’t gotten very far in the Security Breach: Ruin DLC yet by which I mean I haven’t watched all of Markiplier’s videos. However, the other day I ended up running into a spoiler regarding the ‘Gregory’ Cassie talks to in the game.

And given the circumstances, I...can’t help but be reminded of the very first time I wrote Ian.

[tsckcyomi-archived]

2 months ago @fxrtunas​​ gave me something that she wrote for my birthday a while ago and that’s what made me want to give Yotsuyu a Yanxian Tiger 👉👈 

The Yanxian tiger was injured by another, then trapped in its escape, Yotsuyu thinks. It was likely betrayed by its own kind without mercy, without hesitation, and without regret; it was left here to rot. The claw marks, shallow, are not enough to kill it, but enough to prevent it from escaping the debris that trapped it.

She is not certain what possesses her to approach it. It is snarling and scared, so angry, yet so helpless. A part of her even wonders whether to simply put it out of its misery. Yotsuyu moves to free it before her mind can catch up with how ridiculous the deed is. The debris is not heavy, but far more than she can lift by herself. However, it has fallen on the tiger in a way that can be easily leveraged for it to burst free of its own accord. When she approaches, it snaps at her, and for a moment Yotsuyu reconsiders simply putting it down. “Hush. You’ve no reason to be critical of help.” Her tone is cold. Perhaps this is a worthless venture. She is risking herself, after all, to free an animal that will most likely kill her the moment it is loose. To her bemusement, though, the tiger grows calm. It stares at her, eyes a bright ruby, with something she cannot fathom. Ascertaining her own safety, she then concentrates on her task.

The log that traps the tiger is heavy, but it lays on an angle, wedged ‘neath other branches. It is as she predicted: enough to stop anything squirming out from under it, but should one get their hands dirty, ‘tis a simple hoist of rocks and twigs, enough to loosen the log for the tiger to break free. It takes her a moment or two, but the tiger senses the weakness. The snarl that spills from its jaws makes her heart thrum with fear. For a moment, she wonders whether the complacency before was a ploy to draw her in, to get her to lower her guard, to incite worthless sympathy. Her dread is for naught, however. The tiger simply stares at her for a moment, then moves towards her. Yotsuyu stiffens instinctively, one hand beginning to reach for her dagger, but the tiger merely dips its head to nose at her other palm. She stares at it, bewildered, then upturns her palm for it to scent. The tiger licks her instead, and its only then that Yotsuyu realizes a graze haphazardly lines the inside of her hand, perhaps from something sharp buried ‘neath the ground. Dirt clings around it, though much has been cleaned off by the tiger.

“Ah.” Yotsuyu clenches her fist. She feels the sting, then, but the pain does not bother her. She is unused to such… attention, much less from a Yanxian tiger. “Go, least the poachers find you easy pickings.” A low growl emanates from its throat. This time, Yotsuyu finds it more comforting than anything. They stare at each other for a moment more, before the tiger turns and pads away. Such a strange turn of events this morning. Yotsuyu looks down at her hand, then decides to cast all thoughts of the tiger out of her mind.

Her fear and anger from the meeting with Zenos drives her out to the outskirts, eager to find a way to release her fury in a way that would be private and hidden from anyone that would ever think of approaching her. Being thrown to the ground by Zenos was humiliating as is, then Grynewaht thought to help her, to pity her.

Teeth bare, near animalistic in how primal her rage is, as soon as she reaches her destination, a small clearing within absent of any people. The shout that spills from her lips is incoherent and so ugly; the scream that follows is twisted and dreadful. Her features screw up with the depth of her emotion. Her pacing allows her no exhaustion of this blinding fury inside her gut, marring her heart, tangling her emotions and stomach to a further, nauseating mess. She knows not how long she rages, or even when she slumps down. Her gaze fixates on the ground, wishing for it to swallow her up, to eat her thoughts away until nothing remains. At some point, she comes back to herself, inhaling raggedly. She must get back before dark, least she falls prey to any wild beasts or assassins that would have her head. How lucky she is that no one has come to slay her with how much ruckus she was making. Or, perhaps, unlucky.

Movement before her. Yotsuyu’s head shoots up, her body tensing for a fight; she reaches for a dagger automatically, preparing to defend herself. Her heart rocks her chest thunderously as the shape before her comes closer. Predators, then. Animals she is not certain she can completely fight off. She swallows, and merely tightens her hold on the hilt. But then the streaks of the setting sun illuminate the fur of a Yanxian tiger moving from the foliage. For a moment, Yotsuyu thinks her death will be painful and brutal with such sharp jaws sinking into her neck, making her choke on her blood, but the tiger does not lunge at her. It pads closer, its gaze inquisitive, and Yotsuyu’s eyes widen. Is this perhaps the same tiger she freed not long ago? Does it remember her so? She reaches out with a hand—the same hand the tiger had graced with an affectionate greeting—and it noses into it, just the same as it had before. “I see you have found me again,” she murmurs. Her voice is hoarse from yelling. The tiger nudges her palm again, licking her wrist, then moves around her. “I should be going soon,” she warns, watching it lay on the ground beside her, “do not get comfortable.”

It gets comfortable anyway, but Yotsuyu supposes she should have expected it to. The tiger lays its head on her lap, as if to comfort her. She tenses. “You are heavy,” she adds, though she supposes she will allow this when she hears and feels the soft purring against her legs. Very, very slowly, she relaxes. Her hand comes upon the tiger’s head. It nuzzles into her side. “You have a terrible stench,” she says. Her lips quirk in a way that’s reminiscent of a smile; less guarded, more soft, than her usual, easy smirk. She does not notice it, ever unused to feeling so… so… She feels the fur instead, and contents herself with petting the length of the tiger, from the top of its nose to the furthest she can reach down its spine. It is so soft around the face yet becomes coarse in nature down the body. It is not… unpleasant to feel, however, and the purring that accompanies such actions makes the smell worth it.

Yotsuyu stays out longer than she should, gently petting the tiger until she hears the shouts for her name. Her legs are numb, but she gently shifts out from under the tiger. It moves with a low growl of protest, but stands and stares at her, ruby eyes glinting under the rays of the moon. “Go on, then. I do not want to see you again,” she chides, though her heart is not in it. It huffs, as if snorting at her, but turns and slinks into the foliage. How massive an animal it is. She hopes, suddenly, she will see it again.

Hien strikes her. Yotsuyu thinks that this, surely, will be her end, but at the very least she can try to bring down the rest of these foul rebels and the Warrior of Light. She fails, of course. Somehow, she is not surprised. She thinks she sees familiar ruby reds staring at her from across the falling debris before she closes her eyes, her life crumbling to dust around her.

Tsuyu figures her journey to find persimmons will be arduous and long, but she is ever so determined to repay the kindness Gosetsu has shown her. However, perhaps that is all for naught when a beast moves out of the foliage before her. She freezes, mind racing with fear and panic, and she wonders how terrible her death will be. Gosetsu will not know what became of her, will instead perhaps be worried, fearful for her safety, and that is what she wholly regrets. She closes her eyes, praying that the tiger will at least be quick to slay her She doesn’t hear anything except the wind, rustling through the trees. Then— A short scream of fear leaves her when she feels something coarse and wet slide against the back of her palm. She jumps, eyes flying open, to see the tiger closer than before. She scrambles back, her panic heightening. Breathing hard, she waits for it to lunge, but it does not approach her. It regards her instead with such red, red eyes.

“A-are you not going to eat me?” Tsuyu asks, her voice small and frightened. The tiger pads forward, and her breath hitches in fear, but it only nudges at her forearm, then licks her. The feeling is… familiar somehow. Why is it familiar? “Do I know you?” she asks instead, sitting up, eyes wide with wonder now. The tiger whines, and something in her clenches with sorrow. “I-I apologize…” she says, rather helplessly. The tiger licks her cheek, drawing a surprised laugh from her. “Does that mean I am forgiven?” she asks, brighter now. She reaches to pet its head, scratching around its ears. It purrs loudly, tilting its head and rubbing into her palm, and she giggles at how adorable its acting. “For something that seems so terrifying, you’re so soft…” she observes, delighted. It makes another low noise at her, then rolls onto its back, fluffy paws flopping forward. It looks at her with eagerness, she thinks, and who is she to deny it? She shuffles forward, kneeling, and starts gently rubbing its belly. A low growl emanates before dissolving into purrs, the tiger rolling around. Tsuyu almost falls over when those paws bat at her forearms, but she continues entertaining it, marvelling at how cute it is, at how pleasant its fur is underneath.

After a while, Tsuyu finally stands. The tiger sits up, growling at the lack of attention, but she doesn’t feel threatened anymore. She laughs and thumbs gently around its ears. “I need to go! I’m on my way to get some persimmons for a dear friend of mine.” The tiger growls again but bows its head. It noses into her side. Tsuyu smiles and drops to one knee to wrap her arms around its neck, enveloping it in a tight hug. “I apologize. Maybe I will see you soon?” The tiger whines, as if in protest, and Tsuyu pets along its back again. She stands, grinning at it. “If I take you into the nearby village, I think they’ll panic… so, this is farewell for now, okay?” The tiger huffs. She laughs, then continues her path, beaming with delight at having made a new friend. Or, perhaps, reunited with an old one.

The pain has faded to a pleasant numbness. All she feels now is peace. Her brother lays dead beside her. The Warrior of Light… well, confound them. They are not hers to worry about anymore. She wonders, suddenly, where the sweet tiger is now. She hopes it is okay, that it is thriving. She hopes it will not meet the same tragic fate as her. A low whine. Yotsuyu cannot turn her head, but she recognizes it. She gasps, tears springing to her eyes. Oh, how her peace feels much more complete now, even if she cannot turn her head to see it. There is no way this tiger can be here now. Perhaps this is an image conjured up by the failing mind of a dying woman, but Yotsuyu will take it. Gosetsu is not here to see her off, but at least this older friend is. “You… came…” she whispers, barely able to even breathe. She feels it nudging at her hand, but the sensation is muted. How she wishes she can feel the softness of its fur again. It whines again, then she feels the large form settle against her side. She blinks up at the ceiling, her vision blurry from both the tears and her fading life. At least it will comfort her in her last moments. She hopes Gosetsu will not be too sad. She wishes he is here, too. She closes her eyes, savouring the warmth of the tiger beside her. Yotsuyu doesn’t notice it when she dies.

[mithrilbookofmystery]

📓 👁👁

OK SO *slams down 30k words of draft* I know the original ask post said to talk about a fic I haven't written but haunts me, but believe me, this is fic is not written. We're like not even a quarter of the way through, most of this doc is notes, this fic have been haunting me since last june or so send help

So anyways. This is "the fic I'll never write" which I do have a tag about as you might have noticed, it's one of the very few things I have a tag for on here that's how much it's haunting me. I'm never going to publish this fic also, tho that's mainly bc A) it's way too fucking long B) the fandom and ship are both obscure as hell and C) its also embarrassing 😣 cringe is dead except when it's me and my fanned fictions. That being said, I'm calling the two guys A and B for simplicity's sake.

A and B hate each other's guts. They were friends once, but had a very big falling out with hurt feelings and bad miscommunications all around and basically they vowed to never talk to each other again. And then one day A wakes up and realizes that 1) his house got moved into while he was asleep(he is very ??? over this given that he was in the middle of moving in the day before; his house was basically empty 8 hours ago and now it is Not) and 2) B is coming over for lunch to pick up his stuff(????? This is even MORE confusing bc A is getting the vibe all of a sudden that they were in a relationship together? Which doesn't make sense bc he's not gay. Wait. Is he gay? What the fuck is going on???)

B comes over and they have a very stilted lunch (where it seems like B feels like something is off, too, but hes not saying anything...), B takes his stuff and leaves, and A spends the rest of the week alone in this house that he has both lived in for years and also Has Not and very confused about this new life he suddenly has.

And then A wakes up in a castle as the trusted advisor to the king in a medieval fantasy world and he is EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE!

Also the King is B. Great.

A spends a lot longer here than in the last universe (like 3/4 of a year), long enough for a magical war to come and pass, some character development shit to happen, and also for the King (who, again, is B) to fall in battle (and it's the one they win the war in too, RIP) and go into a Magical Nightmare Coma (bc they were warring with magical nightmare beasts). This is Bad, for a variety of reasons.

Now A is conflicted abt this bc B is his friend, bit also very much not, but that doesn't mean he wants him to die, but also the A of this universe, the advisor, is starting to get the idea to kill the king to get the throne... His death would be easy to explain away, given the circumstances...

A, instead, goes to find magicians to break the curse. This is the first good thing hes done all fic lmao

B wakes up, the kingdom throws a party, and that night, B tells A about how Something Strange has happened to him - he's not from here. From this world. He's from somewhere else, somewhere Different and in the Future but with no magic and he doesn't know how he got here or got to be possessing the king's body but he's been here for past like 3/4 of the year now and hes sorry for acting strangely if he has but he doesn't really know what to do-

A tells B that he's in the same boat, because he is. B realizes that this A is his A and he hates his A. So. B says some things he'll probably regret later bc being mean is the best defense he's learned against A's general air of uncaring-ness for the effects of his /j "jokes" (they're not jokes, half the time they're just mean, but anyways), and storms off.

The next day, A wakes up in a submarine. He thinks he is going to scream.

They go through....,,., a lot of universes. I think it's over 25 rn but idk. Some are shorter than others, the longest is like a year and a half but we'll get to that. The general arcs are:

1. The beginning bit (Just Broke Up, King/Advisor, Deep Sea Biologists (that ones just an excuse to stick them in a small space for a while to duke it out lmao), Astronauts (kinda same premise as last one but there's a third party now), Musicians, Wild West, Minecraft, Wizards, Desert Island (to quote the notes there, "they duke it out but calmer now"), semi-back in their home universe but something's Off, Superhero(B)/Supervillain(A))

In this part they start off hating each other, but slowly warm up to each other again by the Wizard universe (they're wizards there <3). They recognize that they're each other's only constant in this mess, so in the Desert Island 'verse, they agree to try and find each other right away in each new universe they wake up in (instead of messing around for a while before accidentally stumbling into each other like they'd done before). They debate about the versions of themselves they're possessing, with A very adamant about not changing each universe's lives too much, while B is willing to throw that out the window if keeping the status quo endangers each other. He's starting to like A as a friend again and doesn't want to have to tiptoe around him to compensate for this other life that was thrust upon him, sue him. This comes to a head at the end of the superhero verse when A foils his own plan to save B's life, revealing his own identity to the press in the process - VERY much changing the status quo of this A's life. B is very very confused and conflicted abt this but we don't know how A feels bc its B's POV this chapter.

Also it's worth noting that B still gets nightmares from getting attacked by a nightmare beast monster thing, and he will continue having them for the rest of the fic. They get a heck of a lot worse in the next one <3 and he doesn't tell A abt them until like 3 years into this bullshit

Also also they are so homesick already god bless

2. The Death Universes (the death universes) (this is the year and a half one btw)

They wake up in separate universes where the other is dead bc I love inflicting characters with hardships and problems and trauma <3

They get therapy in these ones too which helps them to like accept blame and shit when it comes to their old argument but also not blame themselves completely and break and also hold each other accountable more and in healthier ways

3. Post-Death bits AKA the rest of the fic p much (its like over half the fic I'm not listing all these out)

Points of interest:

- they reunite and are so so happy about it that they become codependent

- they go to a BOTW AU and B is Link and has amnesia but not just the B from the BOTW universe has it, the original B has it also and he. He fucking going through it man

- bc of the whole amnesia thing B starts thinking of himself where he's not really the B of whichever universe but hes also not really the original B either (tho that's always usually the one more in control each time); the two have kind of merged together, and each new universe creates a new version of B

- he goes with that for a while until it gives him an existential crisis and OG B starts maintaining his independence again

- anyways then they get more codependent <3 fruity edition

- they start to realize they're getting codependent and go :/ uh oh oopsie poopsie

- why did I say that I'm sorry

- anyways they try to homebrew some therapy for themselves but given their situation it's not exactly.. uh.... But tbh it's the best they got right now ngl. it works well enough

- it helps that the universe right after they agree to Spend Some Time Apart™️ they wind up in one where they physically cannot meet each other until they get to the end of it and have to make new friends along the way (Dead Gods AU my beloved....... <3)

- they get to a universe where they're Dads and Gay and Married and go 😳

- they only get fruitier from here

And then it vaguely ends around there. I don't really want to ever write an ending for it, if only bc it feels cheap to end it before they get home but also writing them going home feels wrong, but also, again, I'm never publishing this so I'm not too pressed about it

Saying that, I do want to share some bits from the scenes I have actually written that I'm proud of :3 A is red and B is blue. Sometimes the versions of themselves from a universe will have a different name and I do differentiate between the two; when that happens, the alternate universe versions will have a lighter color than OG A or B. Some of them aren't the same size so you'll have to tap the pics to read all of it

Their fight in the first universe, where they don't really know what's going on but they do know they have just recently broken up and are still very hurt abt that

P much the only scene written for the Superhero AU bit, mainly bc I know I cannot top this

There's a bit of a jump in their conversation between these two, but I hope it still makes sense. Mid-part 3, around the time when B's having his existential crisis and right when they start being fruity. (Pastel/Punk AU also High School AU but it's like the weird teen movie version of high school - they're a little weirded out by it lol)

And ofc Dead Gods AU my beloved <3

Also I made a playlist. They're not really in any particular order story-wise, and some remind me of the story more than others, but yeah :)

When I tell you this story fuckgin HAUNTS me bro......

[reasonsforhope]

No paywall version here.

"Two and a half years ago, when I was asked to help write the most authoritative report on climate change in the United States, I hesitated...

In the end, I said yes, but reluctantly. Frankly, I was sick of admonishing people about how bad things could get. Scientists have raised the alarm over and over again, and still the temperature rises. Extreme events like heat waves, floods and droughts are becoming more severe and frequent, exactly as we predicted they would. We were proved right. It didn’t seem to matter.

Our report, which was released on Tuesday, contains more dire warnings. There are plenty of new reasons for despair. Thanks to recent scientific advances, we can now link climate change to specific extreme weather disasters, and we have a better understanding of how the feedback loops in the climate system can make warming even worse. We can also now more confidently forecast catastrophic outcomes if global emissions continue on their current trajectory.

But to me, the most surprising new finding in the Fifth National Climate Assessment is this: There has been genuine progress, too.

I’m used to mind-boggling numbers, and there are many of them in this report. Human beings have put about 1.6 trillion tons of carbon in the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution — more than the weight of every living thing on Earth combined. But as we wrote the report, I learned other, even more mind-boggling numbers. In the last decade, the cost of wind energy has declined by 70 percent and solar has declined 90 percent. Renewables now make up 80 percent of new electricity generation capacity. Our country’s greenhouse gas emissions are falling, even as our G.D.P. and population grow.

In the report, we were tasked with projecting future climate change. We showed what the United States would look like if the world warms by 2 degrees Celsius. It wasn’t a pretty picture: more heat waves, more uncomfortably hot nights, more downpours, more droughts. If greenhouse emissions continue to rise, we could reach that point in the next couple of decades. If they fall a little, maybe we can stave it off until the middle of the century. But our findings also offered a glimmer of hope: If emissions fall dramatically, as the report suggested they could, we may never reach 2 degrees Celsius at all.

For the first time in my career, I felt something strange: optimism.

And that simple realization was enough to convince me that releasing yet another climate report was worthwhile.

Something has changed in the United States, and not just the climate. State, local and tribal governments all around the country have begun to take action. Some politicians now actually campaign on climate change, instead of ignoring or lying about it. Congress passed federal climate legislation — something I’d long regarded as impossible — in 2022 as we turned in the first draft.

[Note: She's talking about the Inflation Reduction Act and the Infrastructure Act, which despite the names were the two biggest climate packages passed in US history. And their passage in mid 2022 was a big turning point: that's when, for the first time in decades, a lot of scientists started looking at the numbers - esp the ones that would come from the IRA's funding - and said "Wait, holy shit, we have an actual chance."]

And while the report stresses the urgency of limiting warming to prevent terrible risks, it has a new message, too: We can do this. We now know how to make the dramatic emissions cuts we’d need to limit warming, and it’s very possible to do this in a way that’s sustainable, healthy and fair.

The conversation has moved on, and the role of scientists has changed. We’re not just warning of danger anymore. We’re showing the way to safety.

I was wrong about those previous reports: They did matter, after all. While climate scientists were warning the world of disaster, a small army of scientists, engineers, policymakers and others were getting to work. These first responders have helped move us toward our climate goals. Our warnings did their job.

To limit global warming, we need many more people to get on board... We need to reach those who haven’t yet been moved by our warnings. I’m not talking about the fossil fuel industry here; nor do I particularly care about winning over the small but noisy group of committed climate deniers. But I believe we can reach the many people whose eyes glaze over when they hear yet another dire warning or see another report like the one we just published.

The reason is that now, we have a better story to tell. The evidence is clear: Responding to climate change will not only create a better world for our children and grandchildren, but it will also make the world better for us right now.

Eliminating the sources of greenhouse gas emissions will make our air and water cleaner, our economy stronger and our quality of life better. It could save hundreds of thousands or even millions of lives across the country through air quality benefits alone. Using land more wisely can both limit climate change and protect biodiversity. Climate change most strongly affects communities that get a raw deal in our society: people with low incomes, people of color, children and the elderly. And climate action can be an opportunity to redress legacies of racism, neglect and injustice.

I could still tell you scary stories about a future ravaged by climate change, and they’d be true, at least on the trajectory we’re currently on. But it’s also true that we have a once-in-human-history chance not only to prevent the worst effects but also to make the world better right now. It would be a shame to squander this opportunity. So I don’t just want to talk about the problems anymore. I want to talk about the solutions. Consider this your last warning from me."

-via New York Times. Opinion essay by leading climate scientist Kate Marvel. November 18, 2023.