#xan writes stuff

[crowleys-hips]

GOetry thing for this week. it's based on this artwork: Pièta by @theonevoice i hope it stabs you 🖤

taglist below

@crowleys-bentley-and-plants @phantomram-b00 @charlotte-zophie @crowleys-curl @quoththemaiden @thewibblylever @genderqueer-hippie @celestialcrowley @ineffable-rohese @alwaysbemybae @fearandhatred @weasleywrinkles @brokewokebespoke @eybefioro @captainblou @amagnificentobsession @marika-misc @phoen1xr0se @simonezitrone79 @thatqueercookie @tiptopticketyboo @veil-of-lament @celticseawych @nimbusalba @annewind @di-42 @seven-stars-in-his-palm @ineffabildaddy @fellshish @foolishlovers @ficreader500 @the-stars-are-ineffable @bowtiepastabitch @sabotage-on-mercury @minervas-hand @lickthecowhappy @hippychick67-fan-blog @sassysnakedemon @goodomensafterdark @isiaiowin

tell me if you wanna get added or removed :)

[crowleys-hips]

Been saving this one for Halloween 🎃 Nothing scarier than being haunted by the living am i right? 💀

You're Not Dead

[raiseupyourbat]

Lil snippet of an utdr au I've been workshopping for a bit. Pretty sure the surface isn't supposed to look like that, oopsie. Maybe frisk should've done a few extra neutral runs for good measure first.

[misssclumsy]

Calling always makes me so uncomfortable

[sovonight]

the xadri zine came in ^^

i have a couple things to fix for the final print but the comic pages turned out well!

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

can't fall asleep my brainhas latched onto a new thing to be a freak abougt but like it is farrrrr enough into being weird abt smth weird that i feel crazyyyyy like oh maybe im toofar gone and i should not admit these things anymore.....

[throne-of-ashleygraves]

2016 or 2017

I think Xan would enjoy showing off cats they collected in Neko Atsume

Prolly tried to get Ashley to get the game too

[atticfish]

begging on my hands and knees that I get hired for this office assistant position

[raapija]

Xan we get anything slightly angsty from the pookie au 🥺 theyre too content

Thank you for the prompt <3 I'm sorry for the late response. The amount of times I've started to write something, deleted it, started again, deleted, started, deleted... ugh... But now I've finally settled for this. I struggle to write angsty stuff, but I hope you like this one. It became a lot sadder than I anticipated...

This is inspired by this post, so give it a quick glance before reading.

this is set in 2020

summary: Lance calls Fernando after a tough day and it turns even worse.

warnings: angst, self-doubt, lance having a breakdown and fernando not helping

Lance sat on the edge of his bed. The clock on his hotel room wall was too loud. It made his ears tingle with each tick, driving him mad. He got up, went to pick the clock off the wall and pulled the batteries out. He carefully laid them onto a small table and then returned to sit on the bed, now cross-legged and looking down at his phone.

The black screen of his iphone taunted him, begged for him to pick it up. It was beautifully laid on the red satin cover of the bed. Lance fought between calling and not calling. Maybe he should just go for a run to clear his mind, but the idea of hearing Fernando's voice... He needed it right now. The race had been a total fluke, finishing dead last and he had rushed through the media pen to get back to his hotel. Everyone was staring at him again.

Lance grabbed the phone, taking a while before unlocking the screen and going to find Fernando's number. It was under 'Nano ♥', like it had been for years. The emoji at the end pulled on his heartstrings.

"Cariño?"

Lance sighed when he heard Fernando pick up.

"Lancito? You okay?"

"Yeah, uh..." Lance hurried to answer. He picked on a loose thread on a seam on his joggers. The words were harder to find than usual.

"I miss you." he got out. He let his head hang down, gripping his hair and squeezing his eyes shut.

"I miss you too, baby."

"I love you." Lance added, his voice barely audible. Tears started to fall down, staining the satin under him a dark shade of burgundy. He gripped his hair tighter, so hard it hurt.

"Yo también te quiero, cariño."

Fernando's voice was so smooth, so calm. A stark contrast to Lance's sobbing, which became louder and he had to hold a hand over his mouth to keep them inside.

"Don't cry. I hate hearing you cry."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry either."

"I'm sorry..." Lance whispered. He was always apologizing. Whatever it was. Especially to Fernando.

"What is it, churri? What is making you sad?"

"I had a bad race. They're writing stories about me again."

"Don't look at those. They don't know you."

"I feel like everyone's staring at me. Like they hate me."

"That's not true."

Lance wiped the tears off his face, taking a couple deep breaths to calm down. He sniffled, and then continued: "I know it's not true, but everyone else doesn't. My family, my friends, the guys on the grid... To them that's real."

"No, don't think like that. Your family loves you, your friends love you. I love you."

The word 'love' was losing meaning over distant phone calls. Lance hated it, hated it to his core. He wished Fernando would just come back and hold him. Touch him. Even be there to just look at him.

"Where are you right now?" Lance asked. He knew Fernando was in the Middle-East, doing some sort of a rally raid. He had so many things going on, that Lance struggled to keep up. It felt like Fernando was grabbing at everything he possibly could, finding ways to keep himself occupied instead of coming home, instead of staying still.

"Somewhere, always somewhere."

"But never here."

Lance felt like choking again. He missed him. Missed him so much it was killing him, tearing him apart. If he had known love could hurt you this much, he would've never let himself fall for Fernando.

"I'm tired of being in love and being alone."

"It's okay, I'll find you again."

"But you're so far away from me. You're always away. And I'm always alone."

"I love you, I'm coming back, lo prometo. Te amo."

Again. Love, love, love, echoing in Lance's ears. Two years. Two years Fernando had been away. They saw each other maybe once a month.

"I don't know how much longer I'll be able to wait."

There was a pause in Fernando's end, then a sigh, and Lance felt the tears start to well up in his eyes again.

"I'm trying."

"I need you."

"Cariño, I'm sorry. I promise I find a way back."

Empty promises. Fernando's specialty. Lance wanted to stab at him, right in the heart. A new emotion took over, anger.

"You sons miss you, too. Lando, Oscar and Carlos."

Another pause. His kids were always a way in. Lance took it as a chance to take control.

"You were there for all their life and then you go away like this. Why? Why now? You hold everyone together and now it's all falling apart. You say you love me, but you're never here to love me. You're away so much, it doesn't even feel like we're together anymore. Why?"

"I don't know..."

"Figure it out!" Lance cried. What he was about to say next tortured him, it felt like his soul was being ripped out of him. "I can't live like this. I've given you three years and you've given me nothing. Every day you just go further and further away. Like you want me to leave you."

"No. Never."

"It's what it feels like..." Lance choked out. He didn't even try to keep the tears in anymore. He was too tired of it all.

"You can not leave me. I love you. I find a way, I promise. Lance, you can't."

Lance gave out a pained groan at Fernando's pleading voice. He wanted to throw his phone at the wall. Wanted to scream at Fernando, hit him, kick him, make him understand how much it hurt.

"It's killing me. I give you chance after fucking chance. I'm done with it. I'll only give you one more. One more fucking... -If you don't come back, that's it. I won't ruin my whole life for you."

"I will."

"One chance."

"I promise, I will come to you. Lance, I promise. I lo-"

Lance hung up on him, gripping his phone tight and swinging his arm back to throw it, but he didn't. He instead crumbled down onto the bed, crying into the sheets. He wrapped his arms around himself to imagine it was someone else holding him.

Lance wanted him to come back, to knock on his door in the morning and hug him and kiss him. But a small part of him also wanted Fernando to stay away. That small part ate at him, growing bigger and bigger. Lance wanted to kill it; burn it with fire and never think of it ever again. But it became stronger every day, almost enough that it could take over. Only Fernando could make it go away. If he'd only come back.

[crowleys-hips]

Another One Bites The Dust

hi, happy wrath pride

heyy guysss. y'all still here? lemme know if you wanna get removed plss

@crowleys-bentley-and-plants @phantomram-b00 @thatineffablewitch @eybefioro @captainblou @queer-reader-07 @phoen1xr0se @charlotte-zophie @crowleys-curl @thewibblylever @ineffable-rohese @alwaysbemybae @brokewokebespoke @amagnificentobsession @marika-misc @simonezitrone79 @thatqueercookie @tiptopticketyboo @snognes @veil-of-lament @celticseawych @nimbusalba @annewind @di-42 @ineffabildaddy @fellshish @ficreader500 @sabotage-on-mercury @crowleysgirl56 @minervas-hand @hippychick67-fan-blog @sassysnakedemon @crowleybrekkers @ineffablepretzel @goodomensafterdark

[ignistigator]

hi hello greetings again! c: I was looking through your PCs but couldn’t decide for who I’d most love to know these q’s for, so I thought you could pick if you want, or even answer for all of them if you’d thought it’d be fun! ^u^

#5 Describe their idle animations! (honestly I’d LOVE to know this for all of them if you felt up to it. what a fun way to get to know them!)

#8 After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party? (since Badb’s previous ask from me involved something like this already, I’d really enjoy hearing for any of your other tavs, but also the second part about reunion party talk would be lovely for Babd as well!)

28. Describe a smell that reminds your Tav of childhood. (for whoever you’d like! :] I love sensory trivia so much.)

hihi!!! oh this is so excited there’s so much to say!!! i hope you like what i’ve come up with here! it took a long time to write but i have so much to a say!!!

5. Describe their idle animations.

Badb: crouching into a squat with their elbows on their knees and jotting down stuff in their notebook, pulling idly at their bowstring to test its tension and make a plucky noise they like, pounding on their shoulders and rocking to the side, playing with their earrings or tapping their tusks

Mahtab: swinging her Doom Hammer around her body in a steady stance, lifting her knees to her chest, testing her ability to one legged squats, throwing berries in the air and catching them in her mouth, bobbing her head to move the antlers on Wapira’s Crown, stitching parts of her clothing while its on

Zilvurra: little dances, holding a spider by its silk and cooing at it, praying on her knees with her face skyward, examining plants she’s picked, counting the freckles on her hands and arms, tapping pigment on her lips, singing to herself while drumming on her hips

8. After Act 3, what’s their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion? (im not very creative and these are mostly about their relationships)

Mahtab’s loyalties lie with Lae’zel so it was not a question whether she would join her love in the rebellion against Vlaakith. The day after their fight to prove her worth (which she totally dominated at) Mahtab found herself fantasizing about their future together, a future of ferocious battle for liberation like she had experienced as a Seldarine Drow in the Underdark. And once it occurred to her that when the Gith egg hatched she would raise them alongside Lae’zel, she realized that she was excited to be a mother for the first time.

Even though she has everything she had imagined during their adventure, she would often be homesick for Faerün. Mahtab would share her wish to see her community in the Underdark again, her wish to introduce Lae’zel and their child to her parents and brother. She’d use it as motivation to work even harder at ending the tyrant that keeps away from these dreams.

At the reunion, Mahtab would share that she misses her home but she can’t imagine that she’s slowing down any time soon. Nor does she expect Lae’zel to live in the Underdark ever. She’d mention that the negotiations with the Githzerai seem promising but she is often lost in the conversations as she hasn’t taken to the Githyanki language as well as she’d hoped. Lae’zel is becoming a patient teacher to both Mahtab and Xan, and has asked to learn Drow in exchange (but so far she’s only learned swears and meals.) She would offer to share a hug with the PC of course, and after the conversation she makes a b-line to cuddle the full grown owlbear.

Zilvurra’s perfect life after saving Baldur’s Gate would be to move to Waterdeep with Gale in his professor ending. Zilvurra is from Amphail, very near the city, and would return to her sisters and father regardless of her relationship after Act 3. She’s been away for years due to the guilt of an incident that endangered her father but could not stay away from her family another day after what she has seen.

So as soon as she arrives with Gale, she sends summons to meet her at the Promenade of the Dark Maiden where she begs for forgiveness. Once they are reunited, Zilvurra undertakes her old dream of being a Sword Dancer of Eilistraee, then encourages her fellow worshippers at the Promenade (and some childhood friends) to work with her in fixing up Ilmater’s Safe Harbor, a run down soup kitchen in the dockward. She also works as a healer while at the Promenade and falls in love with searching.

At the reunion she will talk about basically all of this, just talking and talking and beaming as well. She will say that she missed the PC, accept if she is offered a hug, and tell them that if they speak with Tara to stay on her good side.

Badb at the reunion would be overjoyed to see everyone again and would say “oh c’mon i’ve got to hug ya.” which duh the PC could reject and they wouldn’t mind. They’d talk about how where they’ve settled is so different to what they’ve done before and they really like how fresh it is. If they were with Gale, they’d quip that either they’re getting old quickly or Gale’s weak knees are contagious. If they were with Shadowheart at the cottage, they’d remark that tending to the animals and taking care of her parents keeps them both busy.

Describe a smell that reminds your Tav of childhood.

As the daughters of a talented healer, Zilvurra and her younger sister, Solae, would create fake potions to imitate their mother’s alchemy. The smell that makes Zilvurra remember those sunny days mixing together mud and mushrooms and whatever reflecting their mother’s unaware example is the smell of potions brewing. It’s part of the reason she insists on being in charge of their supply in camp. She hasn’t really grow out of being bossy yet but any day now (she’s 63.)

Mahtab’s first trip to the surface was much different from the ones she’d eventually go on regularly as muscle. But each time after, when the group reaches the wilderness and she is met head-on with the fresh beautiful scent of pine, cedar, and whatever other glorious surface-flora she reminisces on holding her mother’s hand harder than she meant to and taking the first step into the moonlight for which she was named.

Badb didn’t have the most exciting childhood in Rivington. They were hardly ever starving and could almost always find a place to sleep as most locals didn’t mind a kid sleeping in their barns as long as they didn’t bother the animals. They were good with animals, respected their boundaries, because they knew how easily a bull can startle at a face like their own. The barns themselves had distinct smells that Badb associated with comfort, cover to sleep.

One particular night when they were nearly a teenager, they settled into a hay-shed for a covered stable and slept until high-sun, only to wake to the sent of meat rotting in the summer heat. When they opened the shed they were met with the only horse in the stable that night torn apart in front of the shed door. They were repulsed by the sour odor but quite not enough to stop them from examining the carcass in an attempt to find out what creature could’ve done this. Badb wasn’t able to draw a conclusion before the stable’s door opened. They took off running and heard the stablehand yelling after them, only to be stopped by the choking reek. They avoided barns for quite a while afterwards but well into their adulthood they can smell rot without a barn or a barn without rot and either would take them to the same place.

[hadesgirl015]

I have an idea and now a mighty need

So I recently got to the point in writing my story, where you ask Lae'zel about the egg and how its doing.

She says the normal stuff, such as how to keep the egg with her and not camp since camp isn't safe. And how she believes it won't hatch soon.

But then a thought occurred to me: what if Lae'zel was wrong and the egg did hatch before the end of Act 3.

Lae'zel would definitely refuse to leave little Xan at camp, she said so herself. If the camp is not safe for the unhatched its not going to be safe for the freshly hatched, even with the likes of Jaheira and Halsin around to mind him.

So then, I just got a picture in my mind of Lae'zel carrying Xan around in one of the wearable baby carries or wraps.

I may just be writing a little story for it too.

But it's stuff like this that makes me with I was better at drawing too.

[raiseupyourbat]

Yup, exactly what I'm thinking also.

Kris' truce with queen (who at least somewhat reflects Noelle's relationship with her mother) was also the first of the three truces, in which she wants Kris to help her find specifically Noelle, because she believes she can keep her safe and also due to her strength.

Then berdly, who I guess in this scenario would be the stand-in for the fun gang, or at least Susie? Due to him not really knowing the scope of the current situation and what's actually going on (and also someone who Queen sees as an irritant).

Then finally Noelle, who would be the clear stand-in for dess and/or the knight in this situation (especially if dess DOES turn out to be the knight). See above reasoning with queen.

Kris' reluctant arrangement could've been happening for years as far as we know, with her plan escalating in the past few days. Then Kris got roped into the fun gang and helping them seal the fountains (which carol may also need them to go along with, getting them exactly where she wants them just as she needed).

It's possible the knight and Kris only officially cut a deal after their encounter in chapter 3 - both recognising each other and holding back against each other, silently communicating (Kris indicating to cut the battle early in a no hit, the knight knighting them after beating it) and deciding that they can trust each other enough to actually be allies, hence what may have been the knight opening the shelter door for Kris at the end of chapter 3.

Kris already knowing who the knight is, maybe working with carol to protect/contain/save/stabilise the knight, possibly even witnessing whatever originally happened to dess, but not directly working TOGETHER until after this... Much like how in the triple trucies scene, Noelle turned up first and trusted Kris to hide her, but only asked them for a truce AFTER the truces with queen and berdly were already struck.

Carol probably wants to save Dess in some way, and may want Kris to get the fun gang exactly where she wants them, and even Kris having some sort of camaraderie with the knight may be more helpful for her to get the knight doing what she wants. Maybe everyone is playing directly into carol's hands right now with her truce (The Best One)?

Idk. Much to think about. This DOES fall apart a bit if carol turns out to be the knight after all, but I think it's interesting regardless.

So if it turns out that Carol and the knight are separate people and not officially working together (even if carol may have similar goals or want to help/save the knight if they turn out to be dess), and Kris and it are holding back against each other, with the Knight possibly even opening the shelter door for them at the end of chapter 3...

There would be at least three factions at work here - the side of the heroes, whatever carol is up to, and the knight.

And Kris would be working in some way with all three of these factions.

...

I SWEAR. IF THE GAG WHERE KRIS KEEPS GETTING INTO DIFFERENT TRUCES IN CHAPTER 2 TURNS OUT TO BE FORESHADOWING-

[kuruna]

Revisited Arissa's design and gave her a more peacocky inspired palette ^.^

Other things I wanted to write but ran out of room to (some of it is stuff I've mentioned before already but still 😭) ⬇️

-Her jewelry is a family heirloom, typically passes down from mother to daughter. Arissa had no daughters of her own and so for awhile this jewelry went unused after she passed on .... When Xanthos rediscovered her jewelry, he did have a granddaughter he could have given it to... but he decided to keep it for himself. it was one of the only things he had left of her...

-Arissa can understand the hearts of pokemon! She treats them with more love and patience that others of the time are willing to. She treats Floette as a daughter and raised her alongside her children, which led to Floette having a lot more "human" habits when compared to other Pokemon 😭

-AZ's anger issues come from her 💔 she's mature and capable of handling her emotions, but despite her overall sense of serenity her angry outbursts are Explosive. Because of this she tends to simply remove herself from a situation until she's calm enough to handle it in a nature manner, though at times little bits of her temper will seep through the cracks. She tries to hide that about her from her kids, though.

-Arissa was treated as an outsider within Kalos until her noble heritage was discovered (😑). Arissa being a noblewoman and AZ being the son of a prince were very much taken in consideration when choosing a king.

-AZ had an incredibly positive relationship with her, but Xan's relationship with their mother was much more complicated. Xan's avoidant tendencies play a role in this. And though Arissa tried very, very, very hard, she didn't always have a good sense of what Xan needed from her.

-When AZ was in his mid-late 20s, Arissa started to struggle with chronic illness. she passed Floette onto him after realizing that she would no longer be able to care for Floette the way she wanted to. She choose AZ because they'd always been closer to one another, but... Xan felt hurt 😭 Xan felt hurt that she gave something she loved so dearly to AZ! It was always his brother that was chosen for these types of things and never himself... (It didn't help that Xan had started to feel some jealously towards Floette some many years ago, and it never fully went away .... poor Floette is just trying to do her best 😭)

-One of AZ's middle names is Zoroaster. This is a name that had been picked out by Baccata. One of Xanthos' middle names is Xerxes, this was another name Baccata liked. Even though she found love and happiness again, Arissa never truly stopped missing him. Sairo knew how she felt as he was a widower before meeting Arissa. It was something they connected over!

[sovonight]

If I could mod I would absolutely help you make your version of Xan real, the way you write him is so good it makes me want to play BG with your writing. Shakes fist at the sky

this compliment isn't mine to accept, he is a mod (2 mods) and i'm just riffing!

[stellas-starry-sillies13]

YAYAYAYAYAYAYA MATCHUPSSS

I'm a girl and I'm looking for a pjsk matchup!

my personality?? um, god I'm an annoying motherfucker. when I find someone who's willing to listen, I will yap for hours about my interests. I have hpd, bpd(?), and adhd which is super duper fun totally 😐 but I think I'm funny maybe idk? I'm really insecure and I like actually can't find anything good about myself 😓 maybe I'm a fast learner? I'm sort of a nerd like, I'm in accelerated math 🤓

things I'm most sensitive to? idk what this means but ig I hate bugs and clowns and vomit and that shit. also when my s/o isn't giving me attention I would literally start screaming crying shaking.

my number one talent is simping. 💀 I have a shrine for 2 different people and when I have a crush on someone they're all I talk about 😭

my hobbies are drawing, writing, playing pjsk, and screaming lyrics of songs I like really loudly. I've also been getting back into dance lately that's pretty sigma. age range is 13-15 and there are no characters i don't want to be matched up with

what i want in an s/o? think of seo changbin from skz 🤩 jkjk (only slightly) i want a s/o thats nice to me, is at least slightly taller than me, (5'4), is funny, has decent fashion sense, and a real nice voice (but I suppose that's all the pjsk boys..)

what i don't want in an s/o is as I stated earlier, someone who doesn't give me attention, someone who puts me down, someone who brushes off my interests, and someone with a bad hairstyle /hj

yeah ty!! if this ask gets sent into the void I WILL cry!!!

' . < Project sekai matchup No. 1~! > . '

A/N: omg you do good in math??? You sound like a good s/o already. Girl if you like think think im sure you can find good stuff abt you. Liiiike you have a nice humor you made me crack a smile several times while reading this. Also idk youre just a fun person. ADHD? I xan relate. Its not confirmed but i probably do have it. Liek seriously whenever im doing my my math i just randomly start daydreaming and my mom always has to snap me back to reality. Thankfully she finds it funny lol and doesnt scold me for it. Also we're the same height so yay. Also same age range. We kin eachother fr.

Anyway! For the grand reveal, I match you up with....

` . < Rui~! > . '

A/N: Im sorry when you said you want someone who shows you attention i immediately thought of rui.

He will listen to every single detail of your rambles about your interests

Honestly finds it adorable

As someone who also rambles a lot about his own interests, he can relate

He understands that you have hpd and will give you all the attention in the world if you so desire

I like to think he will be very physically affectionate. With this mam, how could you NOT get all the attention in the world??

Finds your 'annoying' personality endearing

Sometimes just watches you draw over your shoulder without saying a word and then you just turn around and see him there and be like 'wth did you come from??'

Asks you to draw him

Loves to just watch you and observe you dance. Might even ask for you to teach him on of your dances. (Idr if it its canon that wxs dances but they prolly do, so)

Def teaches you one of the dances he performs

Im not sure if he has a decent fashion sense.. Idk depends ony our perspective

His voice though? Its the definition of nice. Like out of all the boys his is gentle and smooth. Sounds nice to me