#y'all know what i mean by step-on-me fanart

[lav-endermoon]

c!tntduo fascinate me sm because they're portrayed (in canon to an extent but mostly fanon) as the most confident, self-assured bamfs the server has ever seen (engendering a slew of wildly inaccurate "step on me" fanart and fic), but it's such a facade. like they're both so deeply insecure and constantly searching for others' approval. yeah c!quackity is a girlboss or whatever but. how do i put this. he filled his entire country with sand. this does not change anything except the fact that his country is full of sand. it doesn't make it a real desert. how's that for symbolism? (i know this has been said before but it's a great testament to his character shhh.) he overcompensates for feeling worthless by aggrandizing himself and substituting power for love. yeah c!wilbur can be mr suave sauce but he literally cried immediately when c!ranboo said he wasn't a bad person. most of their actions are rooted in self loathing and shame. their entire relationship and tension revolves around the need to feel seen and understood but they're so shit at vulnerability that their need for each other only comes out in petty snatches and hints.

anyway the whole badass supervillain aesthetic is fun and all but sir that's a cat screaming from the top of the fridge and a wet dishrag that would fall over while tying his shoes

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Hit ‘Em Up! (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Cowboy!Gojo Satoru x Cowboy!Geto Suguru x Black!Cowgirl!Reader (Slow Burn/Enemies to Lovers)

Synopsis: You get to meet Geto & Gojo the Gunslingers, the notorious outlaws that have every town and law enforcement in a twist, when your bum-ass BF offers you as payment to avoid going to prison. Little do they know that this is only a part of your plan to get what you desire. But when you realize that the infamous gun-slinging, smooth-talking cowboys could be everything you want and more when they offer you a deal to team up with them, will you successfully be able to go through with it? 

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINOS GTFO); poly!SatouSugu; Reader is Black & Fem; Mention of other JJK characters; Porn with Plot; Tragic Backstories; T/W for Childhood Trauma, Parental Death, Violence, Panic Attacks & Torture; Angst/Hurt/Comfort; Hand Kink; Masturbation; Voyeurism; Gay Sex; Polyamorous; Double Deepthroat; Mutual Oral; Fingering; CMNF; Spitroast; Riding; Unprotected PiV Sex; Creampies; Outside/Public Sex; Shotgunning; Multiple Positions; Spit Kink; Facials; MDom/fsub Undertones; Aftercare

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: Heeeeey, y'all!! I'm so, so, so excited to introduce this new story to everybody! I've been having a (horny) cowboy fixation for THE LONGEST time now after seeing a fanart of cowboy!Geto by the amazingly talented @sanjisblackasswife. Please go support a fellow black woman & go check out her work! I hope y'all enjoy the first two chapters! -Jazz

Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen PT I & PT II. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Epilogue. Soundtrack.

********

SIX: FOR A SINNER’S EARS ONLY.

You awaken the next morning to the sun barely peeking over the horizon, just as Geto instructed you to do. 

It feels good to sleep in a comfy bed for once, especially after you made sure you patted it down with the bug powder you packed. You sit up in the bed, slightly clammy from the heat of the hot, dry air creeping into the motel room. It is quiet and relaxingly so. For once, you feel good despite the circumstances. 

You still can’t believe Geto and Gojo decided to pay for a room for you. They walked you to your room right next to theirs after getting a key from the lobby. “Just remember to get up before the sun rises,” Geto gently said, mostly to keep his voice down in the motel hallway. “It will take about five days to get on the Devil’s Trail since it’s outside the West. That works out well for us since we have a list of baddies to catch on our way there.” 

“And most of them are Benji’s accomplices,” Gojo stated as he handed you the key to your room. “Which means we’ll probably find him too if we play our cards right.”

You looked down at the key, clutching it. “You know, y’all didn’t have to get me a room.” You couldn’t help but be suspicious of this. Why were they being so kind? Were they tricking you in some way? 

‘Or maybe they’re just nice guys, you crazy girl,’ you thought. 

Gojo raised an eyebrow at you. “Well, where else were you gonna sleep? With us?” A smirk appeared on his face. “‘Cause if you want to–” 

You cut him off by moving to unlock the door, purposely stepping on his toe as you do. “Fuckin’ pervert,” you muttered under your breath as the motel door opened. It was identical to the duo’s though empty and clean. 

“Ignore him,” Geto chuckled while Gojo complained about you breaking his big toe. Just get some sleep and yell if you need anything. These walls are paper thin, so we’ll hear you.” He gave you a kind, warm smile, leaving you to your privacy. “Sweet dreams, Y/N.” 

Gojo gave you a wink as he held the doorknob, nodding at the bed. “Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” he teased. He then closed the door, still behind it. “I’m serious!” he called. “You might wanna lay down a towel or somethin'!” And then you were finally left alone to take a hot shower and get ready for bed. 

You lay here now, thinking to yourself how fast everything is happening. You still can’t believe you’re here with the most notorious outlaws in the West, about to go on a long journey with them that could either go really good or really bad. You think of Shoko, wondering if she read your letter. Is she looking for you? Does she miss you? And what about the others at the saloon? Are they okay? Are they safe? 

You suddenly hear a tiny chuckle from behind your headboard where a wall separates your bedroom from the duo’s. Gojo’s voice drifts through the wall, sugary sweet and seductive: “Sugu~” 

“What?” Geto sighs, sounding exhausted. There is a rustling sound like bedsheets shifting. “C’mon, Satoru, not now. I have to clean up before we leave.” The bedsprings creak as someone sits up––probably Geto. 

“Can I clean up with you?” Gojo purrs. “C’mon, I can help you clean all of those spots ya can’t each.” Then you hear it: a deep, soft moan that makes your face grow hot and your mouth part in shock. Are they…? 

Another one of Geto’s velvety moans makes it very clear that they’re not cuddling over there. “Shit,” he sighs. “C’mon now, stop it. I’m serious, you slut.” Gojo giggles–giggles–as he continues to do whatever he’s doing. “Oooh, I love it when you call me that, almost as much as you loving it when I call you my cock whore.” 

Your jaw goes slack. Are they that slutty? “No, I don’t,” Geto growls. “I’m not about to do this while Y/N is in the other room. These walls are thin as ice!” His words are cut off by another series of quiet moans and hums of pleasure. “The water will be on, so she won’t hear,” Gojo assures him. “And even if she does, I think she’d enjoy it. Especially when she hears how hot your moans are.” 

You would never admit it, even to yourself, but the sounds of Geto’s moans are getting you hot. They are so smooth yet syrupy; deep yet soft. Seductive. Sexy. They make your body tingle, especially one body part in particular. You can feel your pussy throb annoyingly so from beneath the sheets like it has a heartbeat. 

You can’t remember the last time a man-made you this aroused. Even the ones at the Blackwater saloon barely got you wet. And sex with Valentine was never a fun time. He did nothing to turn you on despite his pretty face. There was barely even a wiggle down there for you. But now? Now, you feel like you need a release or you’ll go insane. 

“Let’s get in the shower, baby,” Gojo seductively says. “We have no time to waste, remember?” And so they do. You hear the bedsprings as they get up from bed and their footsteps as they walk to the bathroom on the left side of their bed but still behind your bedroom wall. You can hear the rustling of their clothes as they strip; their breathless giggles and the soft, wet sounds of their lips meeting each other’s. 

Their soft moans and hums of ecstasy mingled with the sound of pounding water light your body on fire. You find yourself squirming uncomfortably in your bed, especially when Geto begins to moan. You begin to feel a tingle from down below that only grows the louder Geto’s velvety moans become. “Fuck, ‘Tarou,” he sighs. “You’re so fuckin’ good at that.” 

Your hand slides down your stomach to wedge between your thighs. You know that this is wrong. You know that you’ll regret this later, but fuck, they sound too hot to resist. And it’s only natural, right? You just need some release. They’ll never know. So you begin to slowly rub your tingling, needy clit in time with Geto’s deep moans and swears. 

It doesn’t take a village idiot to figure out what Gojo is doing, but when you hear the soft, sucking sounds and the sloppy noises of his tongue swirling around Geto’s dick, you get your answer. “Yeah?” he chuckles. “You wanna give me a reward, Sugu?” 

You hear more lewd sounds that take you to unholy places and bring colorful visuals to your head: Gojo on his knees gagging on dick with Geto’s hands in his wet, white hair, his hips bumping into Gojo’s mouth as he fucks his pretty face. “Just make sure you keep it down,” Geto instructs. “You don’t wanna wake the whole hallway, do you?” 

Gojo giggles and there is only the sound of water until both men moan in unison. The sound nearly makes you gasp, your back arching as your fingers work faster on your now slippery clit.

“Oh, fuck!” Gojo moans. His language has become nothing but slutty moans and whimpers while Geto lets out soft grunts and gasps. “Soon as I’m inside you, you’re singin’ like a little songbird,” Geto chuckles. “What am I gonna do with you, Satoru, huh?” 

You close your eyes, picturing the long-haired outlaw pressing Gojo against the wall, grinding his hips into the white-haired outlaw from behind. You see Geto’s cock, long, thick, and gorgeous, sliding in and out of Gojo’s taught and firm yet soft asscheeks, stretching out his hole. 

“Sugu, please,” Gojo begs. “Don’t stop! Keep goin’ just like that!” 

“Just like what?” Geto teases. “Like…this?” He must do something with his hips or his cock because Gojo is moaning uncontrollably, slutty gasps and whines leaving his pink lips. The sound of wet, slapping, of skin against skin, emits from the wall. “C’mon, babe, shhh,” Geto shushes him. “You’ve gotta keep it down.” 

But Gojo is too far gone just as you are as you rub your pussy in time to Geto’s thrusts. “C-Can’t help it!” he stutteringly, pathetically says. “You’re fuckin’ me too good!” 

“Cover that slutty mouth then,” Geto demands in a voice that has your clit throbbing increasingly so. “Yes, that’s it, my love. Let’s see how quiet you can be filled with all this dick.” 

You imagine him saying the same thing to you, his cock stretching you out while Gojo tweaks your hardened nipples that one of your hands has begun to do for you. Briefly, you imagine yourself sandwiched between them, nothing but stolen kisses and breaths between you. You can almost feel their muscles and warm skin under your hands. You can almost taste them on your tongue. 

As their moans and the lewd slapping grows louder, your hand grows a mind of its own and works your clit faster, harder, wanting to peak with them. You picture yourself doing the same thing while Geto fucks you from behind while Gojo fucks your throat, both cocks filling you up the way you want to be. The way you need to be. 

“Fuck, Sugu, I’m gonna cum!” Gojo warns, high-pitched and needy. Geto responds with a grunt, loud and so unlike him, that nearly sends you over the edge. “Me too,” he growls. “Cum with me, ‘Tarou, c’mon. Don’t you wanna be my good boy?” 

‘Do you wanna be my good girl, Y/N?’ he asks in your head. ‘Don’t you wanna be our good girl?’ You want to say yes. You’ll do absolutely anything to feel like this all of time, even be theirs. 

“Cumming!” Gojo suddenly gasps. “I’m cummin’, Suguru, fuck!” ‘Me too,’ you think. ‘I’m cummin’ too!’ And you do. As a series of slutty, loud moans and groans of release drift through your wall and into your bedroom, you let out a whimper and cum all over yourself. For a moment, you’re soaring through the clouds, covering your mouth to muffle your moans as Geto and Gojo cum together. 

Then as soon as it happens, it’s over. The sounds die down and the pleasure fades, leaving you feeling icky and your fingers coated in your cum. You can’t believe you just did that. 

You can’t think about it for long though because three loud, terrifying knocks on the duo’s motel door next to yours nearly make you jump out of bed. “Oh, shit!” Gojo gasps. “What the fuck was that?” 

You think the same thing before you hear the knocks again. “You sure this is the door, sir?” a rough-sounding voice asks. 

“Yes!” a high-pitched voice replies. The shower immediately shuts off and the pitter-patter of feet stomping around behind your wall makes you jump out of bed and grab your clothes set out for today. “Th-This is the front desk clerk with security!” the same man calls through the door. “We know you’re in there, gunslingers! You’re not gonna get away with not paying for these rooms! That’s a crime!” 

‘What the fuck?!’ you think. ‘Those mother–’ 

Four more demanding knocks silence your thoughts and make you hurry to get dressed. “Gunslingers!” the guard barks. “Either come to the door and surrender to us now or we’ll break down this goddamn door and take you into custody. Don’t think we won’t do it!” 

You toss on your clothes, pull on your riding boots, and tie your bandana around your mouth. You begin to look around for an escape route as the knocks become more agitated. The door is out of the question, so you look at the window which is about twelve feet above ground. 

‘I’ve gotta get out of here,’ you panickingly think as you hurry to the window, only to see Gojo already there and waving at you from outside. He is fully dressed with his hat, gloves, and blinfold on as if nothing happened before. You throw open the window, allowing him to climb inside with ease. “Hi there, little miss,” he greets you, tipping his hat. “You’re up early.” 

“You bastard!” you hiss, wanting to punch him. “You ain’t pay for the rooms?!” 

“Well…not exactly,” he sheepishly confesses. “We paid for half for this one, but inflation is a bitch and these rooms are expensive! I ended up havin’ to steal away one of the keys to this room while the clerk wasn’t around. Can ya blame a guy for tryin’ to help?” He shrugs, giving you an apologetic smile. 

You want to cuss him out, but before you can, another bang on the door next to yours stops you. “Open the fuck up!” the guard yells. “You’ve got ten seconds to come out or we’re breakin’ down the door!” 

“Get me out of here,” you demand, glowering at Gojo. He only gives you a tiresome look as he snatches the drapes off of your window. “That’s what I’m here for,” he scoffs. “Just get your things together and follow my head. Geto is roundin’ up the horses. By the way, is that black one with the braided mane yours? She’s such a pretty thing!” 

You could’ve kicked him out the window, but instead, you hurry about and gather your shit. Luckily, your bag is already packed with toiletries and everything else you’ll need on your journey, so you toss it onto your body and put on your cowgirl hat. The sound of a large bang from the next door makes you gasp in fear. “Gojo!” you snap. “Hurry!” 

Gojo is currently tying the drapes together into a makeshift rope, taking his sweet time doing so. 

“Alright, alright,” he sighs. “And…finished!” 

He then tosses the rope outside the window, tying the end to the leg of a chair. Next, he climbs out onto the ledge, grasping the rope. “Stick your feet out first and grab hold,” he instructs you. “All you have to do is climb down. Don’t worry; I’ll meetcha at the bottom and catch ya if you fall. See ya at the bottom!” 

“Wait!” you hiss, but he’s already inching down the makeshift rope. You watch him as he climbs down the rope with ease and precision, his upper strength doing all the work until he finally meets the ground. Obviously, he’s done this many times before, but you haven’t. Even just looking down makes you want to throw up. 

You grip the window ledge, suddenly dizzy. ‘I can’t do this,’ you think, the words repeating like a mantra. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t–’ 

BANG! The door to the motel room next to yours busts open and the sound of stomping footsteps makes you jump out of your skin. “They ain’t in here!” one of the guards angrily growls. More footsteps, this time out in the hallway. “Try the other one,” the clerk says. “I know someone is in there!” 

When you hear them at the door, now you know you have no choice. You look down again, finding Gojo standing there with his arms waiting for you and a smile on his face. You don’t think––you just do. 

You turn around, put your hat between your teeth, and stick your legs out the window first before grasping onto the rope and gently, carefully, edging yourself down. The wind hits your face, the sun warm against your cheek. Its warm rays and the promise of the ground below are the only things that keep you from looking down. 

“You’ve got it, little miss!” Gojo calls up to you. “Keep goin’!” His words help somewhat though the feeling of your feet dangling in midair and the burn of your arms are all starting to get to you. You’re about halfway down the rope when you hear the sound of a bang and the guards and the clerk now in your room: “Where are they?!” the guard demands. 

“The window!” the clerk shouts. “Hurry before they get away!” Fear leaps into your heart and before you can rethink your decision, you release the rope and leave it all up to God. You feel nothing but the wind in your hands, slipping through your fingertips, as you soar through the air. 

You expect to feel the hard ground below, but you don’t. Instead, you feel muscular arms and a solid chest. You look up into the blindfold and smile of Gojo. “Told ya I’d catch ya,” he chuckles. For a moment, you feel secure and safe in his arms, hating that you do. 

Luckily, the moment is ruined when Geto comes running up with your horses and the guards come to the window. “There they are!” he shouts, pointing down at you. “Shoot ‘em!” The glint of the sun off of metal frightens you even before you realize that his partner has a pistol. 

The first bullet zips past you and Gojo, scaring the horses. You begin to squirm in Gojo’s arms, enough for him to put you on your horse himself before jumping on his own. 

“Hurry!” you yelp, snapping your horse’s reins. “Let’s get the fuck outta here!” The second and third bullets hit the dirt as you three begin riding like hell away from the motel, your horses’ hooves thudding against the dirt. 

“Don’t come back here ever again!” the clerk yells at you. “You hear me?! I’ll make sure you’re all behind bars if I see you again!” 

‘Don’t worry,’ you think. ‘You won’t.’ 

******** 

When you’re finally out of Blackwater, you feel like you can finally breathe and relax.

The shops, homes, and all signs of civilian life have since disappeared, replaced with a dusty trail, trees, and mountains dusted with snow in the distance. Blackwater is but a blip in your memory, nothing but nature there now as you travel alongside the gunslinging duo. You feel Reneigh’s body move underneath you as she slowly walks up the road, the sun’s rays turning her black hair golden. 

You sense a presence beside you and turn, finding Geto riding his horse with one hand. You try not to think about how good he and Gojo look on top of their horses. “Sorry about earlier,” he says, actually sounding guilty about it. “I would’ve preferred us to be gone earlier than we did to avoid that, but I ran into some…complications.” He coughs into his gloved hand. 

‘Yeah, I know,’ you bitterly think, but then feel a pang of guilt due to the fact that you willingly flicked your bean and came to the sound of these “complications”.

You still feel weird and guilty like you invaded on something you shouldn’t have. But then again, they’d have to have known you’d hear them since the walls were so thin…did they want you to hear them? 

“Long as we’re alive and not behind bars, I’m good,” you sigh, looking away from Geto. “Thanks though. So where to first?”  You hear the sound of him unraveling something and look back to see him taking a map out of his pocket. 

“Bull’s Creek, which is only five miles from here,” he answers, reading the map. “We’ve got a gang of wanted outlaws to catch that are residin’ there who robbed a town in another county. A woman there wrote to ask us for help because apparently, these four are terrorizin’ their town too.” 

Gojo hums in acknowledgment from in front of you, a weed in his mouth. “Not only that, but these four are old accomplices of Benji’s that we worked with: Zankoku, Makima Murakami, Angelface, and Arata Katana. We plan on shakin’ ‘em down and askin’ either one of them where Benji is without resorting to too much violence.” 

Geto rolls his brown eyes from beneath his hat. “Too much violence,” he parrots. Gojo looks back at him with a smirk. “Excludin’ killin’!” he cackles, wagging a finger at him. “If we wanna stay outta prison.” 

“Sounds good to me,” you reply, and it does. Anything to get your hands on your target. A peaceful silence falls over you three as you totter up the road, the breeze cool and sweet. Suddenly, Gojo speaks: “Y/N, where are you from? You’ve got a distinct accent on ya that I’m just now noticin’.” 

You wonder why the fuck he cares, but curiosity couldn’t have killed the cat that badly. “The South,” you vaguely reply. “Born an’ raised.” The white-haired gunslinger looks back at you in awe. “Really?!” he excitedly asks. “I’ve got friends from the South! What town ya from?!” 

“Why?” you ask, more harshly than you intended. The silence becomes awkward almost immediately. “C’mon, Gojo, don’t make her feel weird,” Geto calmly criticizes his partner and gives you an apologetic smile to ease the tension. “I think he’s just tryin’ to make conversation. It makes these long travels easier.” 

You don’t know why, but you feel guilty about being so harsh. You don’t like being asked about your past. It’s just too painful. But if they can tell you about your past, you can at least answer Gojo about where you’re from. “Pinewood,” you answer. “It’s a small town in the Southwest county.” Gojo hums thoughtfully, not missing a beat. “Hm…haven’t been there before.” 

‘And you never will,’ you think. 

“So how did y’all meet?” you curiously ask, quickly changing the subject. “I mean, since we makin’ conversation or whatever.” 

The duo share a smile you can’t decipher as they look at each other. “We were childhood friends,” Geto explains. “We both lived in a small town with about a couple hundred people. One day, we were playin’ by the lake after a bad rainstorm and I slipped on the mud by the bankside. I nearly drowned that day, but Gojo saved my life. That day was it was for us: we fell in love instantly.” 

Even as cold as you are, you feel yourself thaw at such a cute story. It’s like a fairytale romance for them.

“But we didn’t start dating until we were older,” he continues. “As kids, we both had tragedies we helped each other deal with. Gojo’s mother died in childbirth and his father was pretty much absent. And I came from a family of alcoholics who never accepted me. So we became each other’s family.” 

Gojo looks back at you, the weed still in his mouth. “Didn’t think two of the most notorious gunslingers in the West had tragic backstories, huh?” he sarcastically asks. “It’s a damn cliche.” 

You don’t say anything, letting their stories and honesty wash over you. 

“So what about you?” Geto asks. “What’s your story? You got anyone waitin’ for you back at home?” 

“Like a lover?” Gojo adds. “He or she is a lucky bastard…or bitch.” Geto shoots him a sharp look.

“Shut up,” you mutter. “And no. I ain’t never been with nobody before…well, nothing that was real anyways.” All the “lovers” you’ve had were either hook-ups or false relationships on your part, like yours with Valentine. 

“So you’ve never been in love?” Geto asks, and he sounds almost saddened by this prospect. That irks you and you don’t know why it does. How is it that two of the most notorious and dangerous gunslingers managed to find love in such a harsh world and you haven’t? Maybe you’re just meant to be alone. 

So you give them both the realest answer you can as you stare ahead at the rocky road: “Love ain’t never done nothin’ but get me in trouble and cause me pain.” 

And just like that, the conversation ends.

[mahoutoons]

i've had this thought for a while now but i didn't know how to properly put it in words. but the short version is: sonic fandom, i do not like the way some of y'all treat wlw ships :/

in the recent years i've noticed blazamy is becoming an increasingly popular ship. which i appreciate because its a good ship which has a lot of potential. what i don't appreciate is the way its treated compared to mlm ships like sonadow.

because lets look at how people treat sonadow compared to blazamy. sonadow gets so much fanart, fanfic, aus etc where the content is deeper than "they're cute bfs". they're allowed to be angsty, messy, they're allowed to fight and argue. people can write essays upon essays about their dynamic and how they'd work as a romantic relationship. but when it comes to blazamy? all people can say about them is just "they're cute gfs who go shopping and paint each others nails :)" nothing about the potential angst of them being in seperate dimensions. nothing about how their opposite personalities would bring out the best in each other. unlike sonadow they're only ever depicted as "cute gfs" in fanworks and nothing else. even in fanfics they're just the background sapphic ship while sonadow is the main ship but they're rarely ever the main focus. and when they are the main focus, they're never fleshed out half as much as sonadow.

and unfortunately, the reason i think this happens is because people just ship blazamy so amy can be out of the way of sonadow. its also the way some of them only hc amy as a lesbian so the whole "crush on sonic" thing is explained away and she can be out of their mlm ship's way. they know that hating a female character for getting in the way of an mlm ship isn't acceptable anymore so they do the next best thing - hc her as a lesbian or pair her off with another female character just so she can be out of the way of their ship. this way they won't get accused of being sexist.

but.... this is just sexism with extra steps imo. this is just people using a wlw ship as an excuse to not have a female character in the way of an mlm ship. they don't even bother to flesh out the wlw ship beyond "cute gfs". they only ever talk about said ship when its in relation to their mlm ship. they only ever use female characters to uplift the male characters.

and before people start typing already, i am not saying every sonadow shipper who ships blazamy is like this and i am not saying you're not allowed to hc amy as a lesbian. if you want to hc her as a lesbian with comphet, go ahead, its all fun! what i have a problem with is people only doing it as a means to get a female character out of the way of an mlm ship, and as such treating her and the wlw ship she's in as props to uplift their mlm ship.

and no, this is NOT a sonadow hate post. this is just me talking about something i've noticed.

[totesnothere04]

Day to Day Norm Pt.2

Norm x F!Quaritch!Reader

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fanart, screenshots, or gifs used with my stories. (Also if you know who the originals belong to lmk so I can credit them)

Warnings: Violence, near death experience, Norm being cute, also I'm not bothering with making everything to the original script in the movie(sorry), if I miss anything please lmk.

Pt.1 Part 3

You plopped into the seat beside Grace and smiled as the Samson lifted into the air. You always loved flying, and after you found out the Na'vi travel on ikrans, or what humans call banshees, you were sold. You wanted to fly on one someday, at least ride on one. You love the animals so much that you got one tattooed on your upper back. The wings spanned from shoulder to shoulder and it went to about halfway down your back. Sadly it wasn't on your avatar, but you were happy to have it on your human body. You watched Jake and Norm take in the scenery with awe, and you couldn't help but smile and nudge Grace. She looked at her two new avatars and chuckled.

"The newbies are always in awe aren't they?" She asked you and you chuckled.

"Oh yeah. I mean I was too. If I could see it all again for the first time... I'd fall in love all over again." You told her and she sent a small smile your way. When the Samson landed Wainfleet and Jake were the first off the bird with you right behind Jake. Grace went over and told Trudy to shut down the engines since we'd be here a while. She stopped Wainfleet from following us by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"You stay here. I already have one idiot with a gun." Grace tells him and he backs up to the chopper.

"Hey (Y/n) has a gun too." Jake whines.

"The fact that you know that was about you speaks volumes, Jake." You laugh as you pass by him. He grumbles to himself for a moment and then follows you into the tree line. The four of you made it to her old school and you sadly picked up the books that had fallen off of the shelf.

"What the hell happened here?" Jake asked as he observed the bullet holes in the walls and cabinets. You picked up your gun and made to walk out of the building.

"I... I think I heard something outside. I'm gonna go check it out." You call out to Grace and walk out of the door. You sat on the railing and looked out over the trees. To think of such a beautiful and serene place had once been the scene of a horrific event. When Grace told you about it caused a rift between you and your dad. The fact that he was so willing to kill children was a mystery you'd never solve. You shook yourself from your thoughts when the door opened and Grace walked out.

"Would you mind carrying this?" She asked as she held out a hand-held scanner. You nodded and slipped it into the side pocket of your bag. "You okay?" She asked once she caught sight of your face.

"Oh yeah. Just fine." You told her and she gave you a sad smile.

"I understand kid. I understand." She said and patted your head as the two of you led the newbies into the jungle. A group of prolemuris passed by and it caused Jake to aim at them.

"Jake if they aren't charging you, or growling at you there's no need to threaten their lives." You tell him but he keeps his gun up. Grace rolls her eyes and steps up to Jake.

"They're prolemuris, not hostile." She grabbed the barrel of his gun and shoved it down. "Calm down marine, you're making me nervous." We continued walking for a little while and finally stopped in a small clearing. Grace and Norm immediately started testing the tree roots and taking samples. You turned when you heard footsteps, and found Jake walking away.

"Would you mind keeping an eye on him?" Grace asks and you nod.

"Yes, ma'am. Y'all need anything let me know." You say and catch up to Jake. Once you catch up to him you stay about two steps behind him.

"They're called helicoradian. They shrink when you touch them." You tell him and he immediately touches one. It shrinks and he laughs and touches another one, and the cycle continues until he hits one and all of them shrink. The angry roar of a titanothere hammerhead reverberated through the trees. You slowly turned around and found the source.

"Oh shit." You hear Jake curse under his breath.

"Do not run Jake. These animals are very territorial and adhere to a social hierarchy." You whisper back to him. "Do not shoot at it because its armor is too thick to penetrate, and it'll just piss him off more."

"Don't shoot!" Grace whispers into her neck com and you nod.

"I've already told him." You tell her and she nods.

"How uh how do we get out of this situation?" Jake asks Grace. The titanothere roars again and bashes the sides of his hammer on nearby trees.

"That's a territorial threat display. You run, he'll charge." Grace tells Jake.

"So what do we do dance with it?" He asks her.

"Just stand your ground." Grace says. The titanothere charged and Jake ran to meet it halfway yelling loudly the whole way. You heard muted shuffling behind you and you were immediately back on high alert. Jake was making a spectacle of him intimidating the creature while your ears were flicked back trying to hear what was approaching. You winced when you heard the feral growl of a thanator. Jake turned around to see what made the noise and quickly raised his gun at it.

"What about this one? Run, don't run..." Jake asks and you respond for Grace.

"Fuckin run jarhead!" You grab his arm and race through the brush away from Grace and Norm. The two of you duck into the roots of a tree to try and ward it off, but it just tried harder. You groaned and push Jake out of the cubby hole. The two of you picked up your pace to escape but he was yanked out of your grasp. You look up to find him being tossed around like a caesar salad. "Fuck the backpack Jake, drop that shit!" He unbuckles it and gets flung onto the ground. You haul his ass up and the two of you run over to a cliff with a waterfall. You both scream as you jump into the water down below. When you both crawl onto the riverbank you laugh as you stare at your surroundings.

"Holy shit." Jake says.

"We're alive!" You say excitedly and stand up and he follows you. "Now all we gotta do is survive until we're saved!" You say sarcastically. You both continue traveling into the depths of the jungle covering each other's backs. Once eclipse started to fall you climbed into a tree and sat there.

"Are you gonna come down here and help me start a fire?" Jake asked and you shook your head.

"We do that we're basically signing ourselves up for death. The Na'vi evolved to survive in the bioluminescent forest." You tell him but he doesn't listen. "Alright have fun dyin'." You say as you lean back to be hidden in the tree well. At some point, you started to feel comfortable and started to feel tired. However, your near-sleep experience was interrupted when Jake started to struggle with viper wolves. You groaned and jumped down with your gun. You didn't want to kill them, just scare them. You started to swing your gun around to get the animals to run off, and it was working. Then a figure jumped out into the clearing and started to help get rid of the wolves. Once they were cleared she threw Jake's torch into the nearby pond. When the woman turned to you, you brought your hand to your forehead.

"Oel ngati kameie." You spoke and she stared at you for a moment.

"Oel ngati kameie, tawtute." She spoke and you deflated. Sky person. Sky demon. Whichever she meant it was never nice.

"Thank you for helping me protect my noisy friend." You spoke quietly and she seemed impressed.

"Yeah, uh thanks for killin' those things." Jake says and you smack the back of his head.

"Don't. You do not thank for this. This is sad. They did not need to die." The woman said and a tear escaped your eye.

"I'm sorry if I killed one of them. That wasn't my intention." You said and she shook her head.

"Him. His weapon has blood on it." She said and got up in Jake's face. "You are like a baby, don't know what to do." She says and Jake seems upset.

"What about her? She was there too?" Jake says and the woman rolls her eyes.

"She was in the trees being silent. Didn't know she was there until she jumped down to defend you." The woman spoke honestly and then turned to walk away. Jake followed behind her and you shook your head as you followed.

"Jake we have to go back. We aren't allowed on Omatikaya land." You warned him and he shook your hand off his wrist.

"Hey wait. Where are you going?" Jake said trying to keep up with her and you sighed in frustration.

"You must go back." She said and you tried to yank Jake back but he fought your grip again. "You do not belong here." She made a motion with her hand for you to vanish. You had planned on abiding by her wishes but Jake being Jake thought he was an exception.

"Why can we go with you?" Jake asked her.

"Because sky people cannot See." She says and you cocked your head at that.

"Then teach us to See." Jake countered and she scoffed.

"You cannot be taught to See." She tells him and he finally catches her elbow only for her to retort by hitting him with her bow.

"Grabbing a woman's elbow doesn't even go down well on Earth, Sully. I don't know why you'd think it was a better outcome here." You said with an eye roll and crossed arms. The woman now stood still observing you and you started to observe her. She lunged forward when you went to uncross your arms and she grabbed one of your hands.

"Three fingers, and a thumb." She whispers and you chuckle.

"Yeah, it's a genetic defect of mine. It uh has always set me apart from others." You said quietly and squirmed in her grasp. Jake clambered to his feet. "Though it's only one of my hands on my human body, so I'm unsure why it's extended to both hands and feet in this body."

"Okay aside from her freaky birth defect. If you love your forest friends so much, why not let them kill our asses?" Jake asks her.

"Why save you?" She asks as she looks between the two of you. "Because you have a strong heart, but you're stupid. Ignorant like a child." She moves to leave and it was then that you could finally make out her facial features to know who she was.

"My apologies, tsakarem. I could not recognize you." You spoke quickly and she smiled lightly, but it fell from her features as she looked up. Atokorina floated down toward the three of you. You were scared to move because you didn't want to scare them away. Jake, however, swatted a couple away from him. They covered both of you up as much as they could before they floated off on their journey. You turned and watched them.

"What were those things?" Jake asks Neytiri.

"Atokorina." You answer him and Neytiri looks at you surprised.

"They are seeds of the holy tree. Very sacred spirits." She says and you smile lightly. She steps forward and grabs one of your wrists and one of Jake's. "Come." She leads the two of you for a moment before Jake's legs were wrapped up and he started to fall off the log taking you with him. The moment you got the rope off his feet he was up and swiveling trying to find a way out, but you remained crouched low. You left your weapons in their places. The position you were in showed you were not going to resist, but you weren't comfortable with being near them. The man you recognized as Tsu'tey the future Olo'eyktan. Neytiri irritatedly asked what we thought he was doing to which he replied he was going to kill us. Tsu'tey's eyes drifted over the two of us and his eyes land on your hands and feet. He yanks you into a standing position. He holds your tswin in his left hand while he looks over the hand he holds.

"Bring them." He says and one of the hunters takes over holding your tswin but holds a knife under it. Everyone breaks into a sprint to get to Hometree. As you walk in the entrance you look around the area, but ignore the looks of disgust and the hisses. You were so tired. You had been so ready for sleep for hours now that this just felt like torture. You didn't even realize that their Tsahík was talking to you until Jake answered for you.

"I'm sorry for my friend. She's exhausted. Her name is (Y/n) and she's also a part of the jarhead clan, but she's also a student." Jake tells them and they nod in approval. You get new clothes and go to dinner and when Neytiri shows you to your hammock you almost run and jump into it. You're so tired that it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep and wake up in your human body. Norm is holding you as he flashes a light over your eyes.

"Hey (Y/n). You okay?" Norm asks and you nod.

"Yeah. I'm great." You say happily and he looks at you in question. "You'll never guess where Jake and I are right now."

"Where?" Norm asks and you smirk.

"We're at Hometree with the Omatikaya. They want to learn about us and for us to learn their ways." You say excitedly and he smiles gently and you slowly get up. He smiles wide for a moment but then it falls and he frowns.

"Guess you'll be too busy to hangout with me around here." Norm says and you scoffed.

"I will still hang out with you as much as I can Norm." You reassure him and he nods. "Come on I need to eat so I can go to sleep. I'm a dead woman walking at the moment." You laugh and grab his hand to go grab dinner. The two of you grab some food and sit down and start eating.

"I've been meaning to ask you without sounding rude, but your left pinky moves odd. Why? Did you break it when you were younger?" Norm asks and you shake your head.

"It's a prosthetic pinky. I was only born with three fingers and a thumb on my left hand." You said as you twisted your left pinky and pulled it off. "Mom blames Dad because he's 'from the south' whatever that means. Dad blames Mom because she was still wild while she was pregnant with me. So there's no telling what she was exposed to. I blame Earth and its seemingly infinite pollution." Norm takes your left hand in his and smiles while he plays with your fingers. "I used to be made fun of in school for it until Dad sent money to grandma to have her get me a prosthetic." You tell Norm and he frowns.

"But this is what makes you unique... On Earth. Here it's a trait everyone has." Norm points out. "It's almost like you were meant to be here."

"I'm glad I am." You tell him and he blushes.

"Why is that?" He asks you.

"Because I got to meet you." You say and he laughs while looking down trying to hide his red cheeks. "See? Adorable." You whisper.

"I'm pretty sure that's you." He says. "You know I used to get made fun of in school too. Being the smart kid so many people saw me as an easy target." Norm says sadly and you frown.

"Fuck them." You say. "The girls that made fun of you are probably stuck in minimum-wage jobs with an unreliable husband and five kids. The boys? They're those husband's. I happen to have a thing for men with a brain." You say and he looks up at you.

"Really?" He asks and you nod. "Well, I have a PhD in anthropology." He brags and you laugh.

"Trust me Norm. I'm well aware." You say flirtatiously and finish off your food. "Alright I need to get some rack or I'm gonna pass out right here." You both get up and he escorts you back to your room.

"We should do this more often." Norm says and you smile.

"Only if you're cool eating dinner with my Dad. He and I usually eat dinner together." You tell him and he chuckles.

"Lunch then?" He asks and you nod.

"You're scared of my Dad aren't you?" You ask him.

"I'm scared of your Dad. He looks seriously tough." Norm says.

"He is, but underneath it all... He's a good man." You tell him. "Sleep well Norm. Goodnight." You open the door to your room and he nods.

"Goodnight (Y/n). Sleep well." Norm says and heads off to his room. You close your door and do your nighttime routine and go to sleep.

Taglist: @belos-simp69

[kookiecrush]

https://www.tumblr.com/kookiecrush/739744412950806528/idk-if-this-is-badhypocritical-or-not-as-a?source=share

Oh aren't you all just a big bunch of hypocrites 🙄.

You all sit here in your accounts doing exactly what that insta account is doing, infact that account is just posting pictures and stuff while you all go on long ass paragraphs analysing their relationship, but you find that account cringe. Y'all gon talk about every little step these men take but somehow that's not as bad as what that account posts??

For once can yall just hop off that high horse tryin to be considered as "sane" and "non delusional" shippers? You are already making many many assumptions about the real life of two men, it doesn't get worse than that.

Aren't jikkrs and pjms doing enough to drag that account, that now even tkkrs are joining the "calling it cringe" wagon?

Tae isn't new to shippers and shipper spaces. He did what he did knowingly whether you all want to accept it or not. There's no way he didn't see the name of that account. If he didn't mind sharing it, maybe just be happy for the acknowledgement instead of cringing over some fan theories and fanarts.

And this isn't just for you, but all of tumblr tkk blogs. Y'all literally suck the fun outta shipping

Well, you don't have to follow tumblr taekook blogs if they're sucking the fun out of shipping for you, anon 🤷‍♀️

Excuse me for finding AI images of taekook cringy. You're mad at me because of that? I don't agree with creating AI images of the members. Simple as that. And I neither said nor insinuated that I think i'm better than that taekooker, or any other for that matter, so i'm really not sure what high horse I'm supposed to be hopping off. How about you don't make assumptions about me? Because I'm not trying to be seen as a "sane" or "non delusional" shipper. Whatever that means. I just believe what I believe. Not every taekooker sees things the same way or agrees with the same theories, you know. We're allowed to have differing opinions. I'm really not sure what the point of this rant was, but it's obvious to me that you don't like my blog, so why are you even here?

[gabessquishytum]

Ugh, cat anon your mind!

tw body horror/gross stuff maybe?

I'm a huge fan of that messmonte fanart and ughhh yesss Dream holding Hob in his palm, jerking himself with his free hand after he's made Hob take all his fingers... his cock would be so big like that, probably bigger than Hob's whole body, and Dream could hold Hob in his palm, bring him close to the tip of Dream's cock, and Hob's hole would be so stretched already and gaping, but Dream would ask him to open wide with a smirk, and Hob would scramble to fold himself in half, legs spread wide and knees to his chest and hold his hole open with his hands. Hob would hold his arsecheeks apart, hold his hole open, and even though he's so loose Dream isjust too big like this, like imagine it! I feel like his peehole would be almost larger than Hob's arsehole... and he'd be so pleased watching Hob open himself up, he's press his cock right against Hob's hole and come in him and it's still too tight to take the river of come that comes out, and some does leak out but Dream does his best to plaster his cock to Hob's hole and imagine how much come a body so huge + Dream's magic would make. Hob does feel it in his mouth a little. It IS in his mouth a little. It would fill all the many feet of his intestines lightning-quick, rushing through him, bloating him, then reach his stomach and fill it to bursting until Hob looks pregnant twice over, the skin of his belly TIGHT, but there's more come still, and Hob tries to keep it down but it starts to rise up his esophagus. Dream realizes what's happening and plugs him with a fingertip and holds him upright to stop Hob from choking, but if Hob moves even a little (or Dream is a little mean and presses on his belly) it's only a short way from base of esophagus to mouth, and Dream would have to put one of his fingers pressed over Hob's lips too until Hob settles down or Dream stop pressing on his belly. A droplet of come escapes from Hob's nose.

All the while Hob would be coming screaming and crying, like ugly crying from overstimulation because there's so much pressure everywhere inside him and he loves it. Hob has the time of his life and Dream is utterly enchanted by the sight of Hob swollen all over with him, coming just from the pressure of his come in him, body shaped by Dream from the inside.

-PA

See, this is why I love y'all. Every time I think we've reached Peak Deranged Porn capacity, we take it a lil step further. And I fucking love it. I think part of the appeal of this scenario (for me at least) is that Big Dream is canon and so utterly delightful to picture! Low-key just turned on by him in general tbh. Anyway.

I feel like Hob spent a good 500 years of his life being The Tall One, you know? He's almost 6ft which is giant status for medieval people and even in the early 1900s dudes were still pretty short compared to our standards. And then there's Dream who can be any size he chooses, including literal giant size and Hob gets to feel small for once!!!! Tiny, actually!!! He can be Dream’s tiny, slutty sex toy, nothing more than a little receptacle for his cum, and god it turns him on. Objectification kink to the MAX.

And yeah it's a dream so it won't matter in the real world but he can't help but be thrilled by how Dream has effectively ruined his body. He's choking on something that he never even swallowed, he's swollen and tight to the point of pain. If he breathes too heavily he can feel his lungs becoming pressurised because he's just so full! He's very much at Dream’s mercy too, because how could he possibly escape? Or get his body back to normal? He can't even sit up. It's the ultimate trust exercise and Dream is so good, but so mean. Telling Hob that he isn't so little after all, is he, with his belly so swollen? What would his friends and colleagues think if they could see? It's a shame that Hob doesn't have a womb because with that much cum swamping his insides, he'd be pregnant several times over.

And when Hob is finally allowed to wake up, he finds a fresh stretch mark at the side of his belly, and he smells like a bucket of cum has been dumped over him. And he wants to do it again.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[smol-bean-of-the-smols]

all of them for BSD

oh shit all-

alrighty, here we go!

1. which character do you relate to the most from your fandom?

Really, all of the characters with anxiety. Lousia, because she's really shy, but she's hardworking and dedicated to her superior. Poe, because he's shy and sensitive, but he's determined to better himself in the face of a challenge. Atsushi, because he's always undermining himself and dealing with the thoughts in his own head fighting with him, yet he strives to fight back and prove himself.

2. which character do you look the most like?

Haruno. I don't have bangs tho. Hell, the color of her eyes and glasses are actually pretty close to mine.

3. what is your favorite ship?

Ranpo x Poe (comfort ship go brrr-)

4. what is your favorite CANON ship?

Akutagawa x Higuchi (higuchi deserves to be loved, respected, and happy. aku, treat her better please)

5. who is your favorite character (and maybe why?)

*COUGH* Well y'all already know I love Kajii, so lemme explain a few things rather than all of them. That'd be too long.

His passion is admirable, and it seems to be the only thing driving him. He questions the world, and looks for this "truth." The question of "what is death?" can be answered so simply, yet he seeks for something deeper. He sees the world as tedious, and says there's no meaning to life. He's devalued emotions and feelings to chemical reactions in the brain, yet while he's completely correct, it feels like he's invalidated his own feelings. Like he's not allowing himself to feel anything, or lost the ability to. Something drastic has happened to him to get him where he is now, and I really really wanna find out what. This man is so fucking interesting istg.

6. when you first think of the fandom, what image comes to mind?

A cozy bonfire? For some reason? And there's like, a large pile of decaying leaves that encompasses the toxicity that I'm avoiding.

7. when did you join the fandom?

A year and a half ago, I think.

8. WHY did you join the fandom???

The fanfics. The fanart. The discussions. I wanted to talk to people about this so much that I was able to convince my two best friends to watch it too. They liked it~

9. what is your favorite fanfic for the fandom?

*aggressively pulls up ao3*

Delta Airlines (Because Life Is A Nightmare) by peachterines

It's a wholesome comedy of RanPoe, and I've read it multiple times, i love it so muchhh <3

10. what song do you associate with a ship?

Oh fuck, umm, Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery for RanPoe

This is actually how I found this song, it was through a tragic fanfic (that i didn't fully read the tags for, else I would've noticed Major Character Death and not read it), and in the author's notes, they said they'd been listening to this song while writing it. It HURT, BITCH. I WAS DISTRAUGHT AND SAD.

11. what song do you associate with a character (or 2)?

My immediate answer is Crazy = Genius for Kajii (there's a story for a another day with that, OH BOY)

But also, BRKN LOVE's cover of River reminds me of Kajii because my weird ass decided the voice sounded similar to his. totally didn't imagine that he was singing it for an entire fuckin night instead of sleeping-

12. favorite hc for a ship, character, etc.

There's this headcanon I like for Kajii, that he's good at cooking. Because men (really anyone) who can cook are so fuckin sexy. I love food.

Also, a friend has agreed on this one, that Kajii would smell like fire, since he works with explosives. Y'all know that smell that's in the air during winter when someone in the neighborhood has a fire going? That's the one.

13. if you could be in the universe of the characters what would you do first?

I mean, those crepes look mighty fine. I honestly think I'd explore the city before I do anything else. Yokohama is so beautiful, and I lowkey wanna know exactly where in Yokohama the blacks towers are located. There's also these steps near the Yokohama Landmark Tower that are used for outdoor plays/performances, and they're shiny and ahfasghssf. Hhhhhhh i wanna go there so baddd

Outside of that, I would love to give hugs to a lot of the characters. I'm the kind of person to take on a motherly role for people that I view as young. Also, my insatiable urge to melt into Kajii's arms-

[zirkkun]

you don't have to post this if you don't want, i just wanted to let you know I support you. maybe I'm just not in the right headspace to understand, but i truly don't get the mentality that you not wanting to create 18+ content for an au you love, even one that's specifically 18+, is somehow censuring. you are the owner of your blog and you create for you and how you're comfortable doing it? just because you personally aren't publicly making nsfw content doesn't mean other people can't/you don't like them. the only thing I sorta understand is the name thing and how, out of context, it could seem you weren't happy with the original, but even then that's a valid perspective. not everybody has to like an AU, and if someone wants to do their own version there is literally no excuse for sending them hate. this is a fandom of AUs and derivative content, to get mad at someone else for following suit is hypocritical. you aren't in the wrong here, and the people spreading misinformation about you with the intention to hurt (even if they feel thReAtEnED by your PERSONAL AU INTERPRETATION THAT RHEY ARE FREE TO CURATE OUT OF THEIR FEED SHOULD THEY NOT LIKE IT ...) are absolutely being horrendous. I'm here for you if you wanna talk, you can DM on discord or here. I hope you're okay.

I mean, in a way I can understand taking it as censoring, especially after talking to a few people about it directly, since it was a bit of a combination between both the interpretation of the name misunderstanding as well as ULR not being 18+ leading to the conclusion that it was censoring Underlust. But after I explained it, the couple of people who approached me about that specific issue understood pretty quickly, too.

And, in all honesty, if I don't really like something, I wouldn't go through the effort of trying to make anything based off of it. The closest example that I can think of where I did something akin to that is when I once tried like, writing an AU for Fire Emblem Fates, because I love the concept of the games, but thought the execution couldn't have been worse. (I've done insane amounts of research on how it truly was so bad, and honestly, the dev team was a complete mess, so I don't really blame them for how it turned out despite them being the ones that made it lol. They barely could come to a midway point for it, so the fact they released it was a miracle.) Sure, there's points of Underlust I don't like, but as I've said before I could say that about everything I like. Except maybe Promare /j (but it is a good movie)

It's also probably really weird, but like, even with things I know I don't like, I'm willing to read or look into sometimes. Like, I don't like Dreamtale at all, but I've gotten myself fairly invested in More than one fic about it and do like some people's works based on it. I'm between unable to handle and yet can tolerate yandere fics nowadays thanks to Alch's fics and them just being a generally wonderful human being, but like, before that they just sent me into a panic attack lol. Ragnartale is also a weird one I am somehow invested in, since it's like, on the surface, it looks like something I wouldn't enjoy, esp since. None of the ships showcased I'm really into at all. But I'm very invested in it ;w;.

Anyway, my point with this part lol is like, I love seeing different interpretations of the same thing, and it's absolutely wild to me walking into this fandom from every other fandom I've been in where like, and AU is just the same characters in a different scenario, while here an AU is literally a whole separate world based off of either Undertale itself or a different AU entirely and the cast is really varied and even if characters are of the same origin from one AU to another, they're so distinctly different that some of them are unlinkable to the character they originate from. And y'all made a multiverse out of it!! With consistent lore between said multiverse!! Wh?? Like I said I've been on the internet a long time but this is genuinely the only instance I've seen this happen, and while I've been told it used to be worse, y'all are super respectful about stuff here too (and like, notably on YouTube with AMVs and MEPs, people actually credit where they got the fanart from in the description?? It's not all of them, and some may be without permission, but this is still the ONLY fandom I've seen do that and that's one hell of a leg up on everyone else.) It's like weirdly, to me, like... an ideal way art should be? Like, a world where anyone can make whatever they want, and people work with each other and from different things, taking inspiration from each other with credit and care and love and not slamming people in the face with a big copyright button for so much as thinking about making something off of their content (coughnintendocough). Obviously Toby's a chill guy too, for not only allowing this to all happen, but based on that message he left in i think the 5th anniversary vinyls, adores it just as much.

So yeah, definitely being slapped in the face when I step in with my idea after all of that openness before me definitely kinda hurt LMAO. It does feel nice to finally like. Actually talk about it instead of holding it in though. Even if it's actually almost two months later now (cause this happened on like December 5th and i was like already having an awful week with a real bad birthday so that was fun avdbwvsn)

I don't know that the original intent was to spread misinformation, because from what it seemed like, they merely read one post, blocked me, and then told everyone about the information they got from said post, but from there it became misinformation, because that one post is probably the oldest post about ULR and doesn't properly summarize anything about it at all it just has character faces and rules for the ask box lol. And frankly, before I updated it, it was out-of-date and inaccurate as well, cause i never thought it would be necessary to change. But that info that i have is also from like one or two posts my friend snagged off of twitter (cause, well, they blocked me lol), so I'm not really 100% certain.

But even so, thank you for the support man, I think I'm good for now, but I really appreciate your offer and checking in on me like this, it really does mean a lot💕💕

[wingsporkhalo]

He’s Mine: A BakuDeku Fic Spork- Chapter 4

WOW I can’t believe this story only ran for 4 chapters! Or no, wait, I can absolutely believe that.

For those of you who are new, I read a terrible BakuDeku fanfiction and made funny commentary on it with the help of some good buddies!! Thanks again @kittykatz009​, @the-wizard-l​, @satsuneade​, and Phos!!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Support me on Patreon! I am poor!! https://www.patreon.com/WingSongHalo And check out my YouTube channel, where you can see video sporks!! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTMFf7W6SyWoZdpqY9ZdPw/

Last time, Shoto made terrible jokes and lied to Izuku’s mother, Izuku and Shoto went on a date, and our helpless damsel protagonist got attacked by a villain!! Also, I provided several of my own takes on the pairing! When we left off, Izuku had received a note from Katsuki that had a love confession on it! In today’s installment, we see the fight between Lord Explosion Murder and Ice Ice Flamey from the beginning! Also, they stalk Izuku and hang around him creepily all night at his house!

============================================================

Me: Izuku would stare at that letter for ages and find a hidden message in it. Izuku, reading the note: "Hey, damn nerd... Even though I didn't get to tell you yesterday, I was trying to say that I'm in Love with you. I want to go out with you. Let me know what you think. PS- Tell anyone else and you're dead." [long pause] "...............oh my god... the first letter of each line... HE'S IN TROUBLE!! I HAVE TO SAVE HIM"

Wiz: 🦢 Me: First off, I think it's kind of telling that within the universe of this story, I'm kind of rooting for Bakugou over Todoroki. I mean, at least Bakugou beat a girl unconscious to save him. Todoroki just kidnapped him while he was dressed like a girl and then took him to a park for no reason and left him there. I like how this chapter is formatted like the shittiest poem I've ever seen. and yes THE DOOR SWAN OPEN Phos: I need to record myself reading bad fanfic like ee Cummings poetry Me: absolutely YOU COULDN'T SEE IZUKU ANYWHERE IN THE WHAT???? WHY WOULD HE--I--WHAT??? THE FUCK???? Jaz: did that say catheter?? Me: IT SAYS CATHETER Wiz: hvgjhgjhRTDYFYGIU Me: IM DYING OH MY GODDDDDD Jaz: that doesnt sound very sanitary Me: MAYBE LOOK IN SOME BETTER HIDING PLACES, TODOROKI

intill: It's all inside

Okay but where is Izuku sitting?? Jaz: he’s levitating Me: "About What?" "Right, about Western Heroes' Acting Theater. They're putting on a show and I want to know if I can make it" "............" And then it’s like "Gee, I have no idea if i should go out with this dangerous person who has always asserted his unquestionable dominance over me with violence if necessary!!" "[internally] oh my god, is Izuku... is the guy I like... dumb??" Jaz: afudshgoudshuigdsh

Me: Of course he doesn't know. Izuku isn't allowed to have a thought in his head in this story Suddenly, Bakugou just fucking Apparates there Jaz: What’s the dose? Me: I dunno, but if it's a Bakugou dose, I'm assuming it'll be -hard to handle -a little too spicy for comfort -really bad for my health Jaz: mhmmm spicy Me:

He must of herd

Surely you mean a Herd of Must? Majestic animals also who is Bakagou and when did he get here? At least we know one thing about him: He's an idiot (...because baka.) WAIT, maybe Bakagou was the author's idea of a pun?? Because he is now Todoroki's rival in love?? ...nah, that's giving the author way too much credit... Jaz: im just picturing Bakugou's head on a horse's body running through a pasture Me: LKAJF;LKSDJLK

Or--hot take, but hear me out--mayyyybe Izuku belongs to no one but himself?? DID YA EVER THINK OF THAT, AUTHOR??? Who is Intill allmight and why is only the first word of his name capitalized Where the fuck did he come from, anyway? Doesn't this take place after the school festival? If so, how is All Might in muscle form? Or did he just appear here in his Smol Might form?? Then he just... fucks the hell off with both of them in tow, I guess IZUKU, HON, GUESS WHAT: YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE EITHER OF THEM! THEY'RE BOTH BLAND PIECES OF DRYWALL Wiz: RIGHT Me: also I like how they both just stalk Izuku until he makes up his mind. Except NO I DON'T, THAT'S SUPER FUCKING WEIRD AND DISTURBING Wiz: IT REALLY IS Jaz: this is so painful

Wiz: this poor kid Me: Stay over to night? Does that mean they're going to leave at nightfall? sounds a'ight Jaz: the coach Me: "Eh yeah" WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THIS IS SO STUPID I'M 😂 "Oh remember Izuku" "Yes mom I remember Izuku because that is me" "Oh, okay, just checking. I forget sometimes"

that poor coach

Izuku might as well be a stupid princess doll for all the agency he has in this fic

So the three of them just... sat there in uncomfortable silence while they slowly smushed Izuku between them? And then Izuku just gets up when he's done watching TV? DIDN'T ANYONE WANT TO TALK? THIS IS SO UNSETTLING INKO, COME BACK! WE NEED AN ADULT Wiz: PLEASE COME BACK Jaz: hfdsihgdsiugh

Me: "Don't ask me what vegetables. Just... nameless vegetables. Honestly I'm not convinced they were even vegetables, but that's what the large blue letters on them said, so I thought I'd take their word for it." Wiz: That last line is so creepy for some reason Jaz: it IS creepy Me: "Your going it wrong" They should have said that to Inko when she was leaving. "Your going and leaving us alone with your son? It wrong."

"I never knew that you were good with at cuting!"

I mean, yeah, he could definitely use a refresher course on cute-ing. He has forgotten how to cute.

So like, Shoto's just sitting in there staring brainlessly at the TV while Bakugou impresses his supposed love interest by being a culinary genius? Weak, Shoto. Step up your game.

I haven't spend this much with kacchan

Good lord, I wasn't aware you were spending anything!! How much did those "vegetables" cost??

I went through

WENT THROUGH WHAT?? IS IZUKU SO TWO-DIMENSIONAL NOW THAT HE CAN PASS THROUGH WALLS??

"You were cute when you were a kid weren't you"

Bitch!!! HE'S STILL CUTE AS FUCK!!! Wiz: It's paper mario :O kjwbejhbewfj Me: PFFFFFF Jaz: let this fic die plz

Me: His checks went red??? GOOD LORD, THOSE "VEGETABLES" HAVE BANKRUPTED HIS FAMILY Wiz: oH NOOOOO Me: I can only assume the dinning room is where his mother goes to cause a din by screaming MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Wiz: That’s it Me:

After dinner because author-chan is lazy

You only admit it after all this? You despicable coward. Wiz: gvhbjkhgjkuhilk mood Me: Should we be letting this expressionless cardboard cutout just silently look through all of Izuku's childhood photographs? Definitely not. Is anyone going to stop him? Definitely not!! Jaz: Izuku telling him to back off? GOOD Me: Why is this author writing both of them as these silent onlookers, hovering over Izuku's shoulder like the inevitability of death?? Also, jesus, why on EARTH would Bakugou just be like "welp I'm gonna shower with him derpdedoo!!" Okay Izuku doesn't feel safe in his own home now. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, AUTHOR. Wiz: THAT’S SO CREEPY JHB Me: so... you're writing one of his love interests as a silent but loyal protector who diligently waits for him and follows him everywhere like a dog? Author, are you... was your first crush a dog or something??? I'm???

(except with “man”) I mean his other choice was to fucking leave, but everyone forgets about that I guess

Jaz: god, i hope they were wearing gloves Me: Author, when you don't put A/N before your stupid pointless interruptions, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEPARATE IT FROM ALL YOUR CHARACTERS' STUPID POINTLESS THOUGHTS Jaz: his waste Me: "You still cute Izuku!" the Southern Accent returns, this time with Shoto Okay Bakugou's growling when someone's getting close to his beloved now. It's official. Bakugou has become an actual dog Jaz: a smol doggie Me: WHAT SO IZUKU JUST GOES TO BED WITH TWO SUPERPOWERED STALKERS STILL IN HIS HOME?? I???

WHY ARE THEY INVADING HIS SPAAAACE OH MY GODDDD IZUKU HAS GIVEN ZERO INDICATION THAT THEM EVEN BEING IN THE HOUSE IS OKAY HHHHHH

Also yeah apparently someone pooped the bed Wiz: fdghjkhgjkl

Me: THE END??? And then it was never updated because nobody wanted any of that shit for poor Izuku Wiz: THE END WOW Jaz: the end jesus thank god Me: look... I don't usually say this, because it might seem hypocritical coming from someone who hoards fanart and writes character analyses and... does what I'm doing right now, but…

please get a life Jaz: maybe they are also sporking and want an update Me: I mean, fair? Wiz: What a journey Me: ANYWAY YEAH THAT WAS "HE'S MINE!" THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME, Y'ALL

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Hope you all enjoyed that!! Please let me know if you’ve found any terrible fanfictions you’d like me to spork! Right now I’m working on a Sailor Moon one that was submitted to the blog earlier, so I definitely take your suggestions! Thanks for reading <333

[sunnylildragun]

Let's get some things straight(or not that straight hehe), fandom

This will be a looong post. But please, read it! I don't mean to personally attack anyone or any ships, what I mean with this post is to get y'all to maybe try understanding each other. I will tag this as both Bumbleby and Black Sun, because I need both sides of the fandom to read this. It's important to create an environment of good vibes, because, in the end, we all(or most of us, Idk) want the same things. Our faves to be happy. Salem to be defeated. Faunus and humans living in harmony.

Bumbleby is NOT a toxic relationship. If I had to explain this as an entire analysis, it would take too long and people wouldn't want to read it, so I'll go straight to the generic line of thought. Blake "runs" away. Yang has abandonment issues. So... what now? The right thing to say is: Blake USED to run away. Wouldn't it be easier to go stay with her parents after defending Haven? Wouldn't it be easier to run away when she saw "Adam" on the train? Wouldn't it be easier to avoid Yang? If Blake still had the habit of running away, she would rely on that. But she doesn't. She stays, she promises to stay and she vows to not break that promise. Y'all don't trust Blake's capacity to keep her promise? Well, I do. I know she will. And that's the core of the rebuilding relationship between Blake and Yang. Blake not running anymore. Yang forgiving her and understanding her(Yang's not dumb, when she got to actually fight Adam, she understood Blake).

Not all Bumbleby shippers are bad or toxic people. I won't deny that I have seen some people be toxic, uncool, and everything towards others, even inside our own shipping "community". But it's important to notice that most Bumbleby shippers want to enjoy the show, produce content and enjoy content. If you go through the Bumbleby tag, you'll find mostly shitposts, fanarts, fanfics, ship analysis, and, if you go further, beehaw. There are some people who bash Sun for 0 reason? Yeah, there are. But they are the minority, and it's unfair to judge a whole group of people because of a small vocal part.

Not liking Bumbleby DOES NOT make people homophobic. It just means that the person doesn't feel a connection to the ship, and that's okay. I, for example, think some ships are cute, but I don't see them happening, bc I simply don't feel a connection to them. And I'm a bisexual girl who is supportive of the LGBTQ+ community!

Bashing Sun for absolutely no reason is unnecessary. I get some people were mad at him for following Blake the way he did, I was too. But as volume 4 developed, and volume 5 came in, Sun showed himself as a very supportive friend. Ship Black Sun or not, we can't deny that he helped Blake. And we can't deny that they care about each other. So, yeah, getting all the steps the guy makes, and every breath he takes, and turning it into some sort of atrocity that should be used against him/against his relationship with Blake is annoying.

Shipping Black Sun DOES NOT make people homophobic. It just means people like their dynamic and enjoy the idea of them together. Although I don't ship it, and lately have been seeing the two of them as very close friends, people have all the right to ship whatever they want. Don't take away others' right to ship. It's that old lesson everyone(I guess) is taught: your freedom ends when somebody's freedom begins.

It's okay to enjoy Adam's character construction, design, etc. I personally really like the work CRWBY did with him. They made him real. They made him someone who hides more than his eyes. And his design was, undeniably, one of the coolest of the show! So... stop bashing people when they say they liked Adam as a character. It does not mean they enjoyed him "as a person", which leads to the next topic.

It is NOT okay is to excuse Adam Taurus' actions and treat him as some sort of "poor boy". He was a victim of humanity's ways, yes, and that's undeniable. But let's not forget that he also killed innocents for the pleasure of it, hurt someone badly just to make another suffer, was involved in mass murders and such, even when the high leader didn't approve of some actions(Sienna clearly disapproved the Fall of Beacon). Adam was also abusive towards Blake, and it started as manipulation and psychological abuse. Pre-Beacon, we don't see him hit her, but psychological abuse is as bad as physical abuse. You see, Blake's self deprecation, the thought that she is better off alone... it all came from her time with him. So it is not okay to make Adam some sort of hero. He cannot- and should not- be lionized.

Someone having a different opinion than yours DOES NOT mean they didn't watch the show, it just means they watched it under a different pov. Not comprehending that makes the environment of the fandom a toxic place. That's toxic behavior, and it's something really sad to see. Each person is their own universe, and we have to respect that.

If you reached the end of the post, thanks for reading! I really wanted to get all of this out of my chest, it all has been bothering me since the hiatus began. A little before, actually. So... let's all enjoy RWBY peacefully! Love y'all and a good whatever time it is where you are ^-^

[secretsantafe3h]

FAQ

These are questions that I anticipated being asked as well as ones that I was, in fact, frequently asked.

Why is this event only for Three Houses?

It was my first exposure to the Fire Emblem universe, so I have a soft spot for it. With it being the newest addition as well, it’s likely on everyone’s minds. Perhaps more importantly, I didn’t want to step on the toes of the mods of Nagamas, who already have a Secret Santa event that spans all of the games.

What are the types of gifts involved in this exchange?

You can make and request fanfiction, fanart, or gifsets/other graphical edits.

Is NSFW content okay?

It is. There is a section on the signing up form that asks about this, both from a receiving side and a creating side. Of course, just because you and your recipient are both okay with NSFW content doesn’t mean you have to make something NSFW.

Can I ask for OC or Reader x Canon content?

Unfortunately, for the sake of simplicity, we’re just keeping this exchange to canon characters.

Am I allowed to reach out to my recipient before I give them their gift?

Yes, of course! Just be sure to keep your identity a secret until the big finale. c: You can just send them well-wishes or even ask for clarification on what they want. It’s also perfectly okay to not mess with anonymity at all and only contact your recipient when you give them the gift.

What if I didn’t get a person to make a gift for?

Send me an ask on here or on Twitter at the same username so I’m aware. I’ll respond as soon as I can with a name.

What if something comes up and I’m no longer able to participate?

Let me know on here or on Twitter so that I can reach out to a pinch hitter to come to your rescue. There’s no shame in having to drop out, so don’t hesitate if you think you might have to. It’d be better for your recipient to have a pinch hitter swoop in than to have any delay with their gift.

What if the gift receiving window closes and I still haven’t received anything?

Again, reach out to me on here or on Twitter at the same username, and I’ll find one of our pinch hitters to make sure you receive the gift you deserve.

Where do I post my gift?

You have a few options. If you’re writing a fic, then you’ll most likely want to put it on AO3 (with the gift designation for your recipient, should they have an account) and send your recipient the link. You could then post a link to it on Twitter or Tumblr if you want everyone to see it. Similarly, if you’ve done art or a gifset/edit, you can post it on Twitter or Tumblr and tag your recipient.

I’ll be monitoring the #secretsantafe3h tag on Tumblr and Twitter alike. Anything I see from y'all, I’ll retweet/reblog. You could also tag me directly.

What if I still have a question?

Ask it! I am just your usual anxious fandom nerd, so I am not intimidating at all. I promise.

Okay, who’s actually running this thing?

Sothis

My name’s Chilly and my main blog is @applecideralex. Nice to officially meet you!

If you’ve read this and the rules/timeline, you can head on over and sign up!

[rebelpoes-blog]

stormpilot speculation...?

okay. this is my first post on tumblr - i’ve been wanting to, but have resisted making one for a while now due to tlj spoilers. hOWEVER ,, i really wanted to get some thoughts i’ve been having for a while out about the last jedi, and specifically stormpilot. i know i’m not the only fan here who ships this pairing to death, and wants it to be canon, however like many others i’ve remained skeptical (if only for my own sanity). however there are a few things that seem //off// that i haven’t been able to shake recently, which imo, potentially point to stormpilot. so, without further ado…

the money issue

so, as most of us know, disney and lucasfilm are asking for an increased share of profits made from the last jedi. whilst this may just be disney being capitalist pigs - entirely possible of course - it seems a tad random and unprecedented. why now and for this movie? they’ve released tons of blockbusters over the years; it just seems strange to me. when the money deal was released, my thoughts first went to stormpilot. why could disney be fearing the income for this film in particular? is it because something controversial in it might mean that, once the message gets out, some countries may boycott/censor it, or even some of their western audiences may be turned off? it seems highly plausible to me that if they’re doing this for a reason, it’s because they fear the audience response to an lgbt couple made up of two main characters, and therefore they’re increasing the amount they take from cinemas in order to somewhat compensate for it. this could be entirely wrong obviously, and i don’t believe we’d get full on stormpilot in the film (a kiss at max, which they could easily censor out for chinese, russian etc audiences) but i do think it’s something worth thinking about.

the marketing

now i know some people will dispute this one bc finn and poe have been relatively underused in the marketing, however i do think that where they have been used, finn and poe have been paralleled heavily or put together. from the trio merchandise banner that was released earlier, to their positionings in the poster, to their shoot for vanity fair. i know there’s more i’m missing here, i’ve noticed it in the most random places, but these are the ones that come to mind. it seems like they’re making an effort for finn & poe to be seen as a duo of some sort - again, feel free to disagree w/ this, but i feel like it’s cropped up in multiple areas.

disney’s ‘baby steps’

earlier this year, disney’s live adaptation of beauty and the beast was brought to a lot of media and public attention when it was revealed that le fou would be gay. the moment turned out to be tiny, but the hype was there and many people were seriously offended by it and said they would boycott the movie. however, the film brought in over $1 billion at the box office, so the lgbt speculation clearly had no or little effect on ticket sales. furthermore, disney channel has recently announced there will be a storyline on andy mack showing a young lgbt teen coming to terms with their sexuality. obviously, both these instances are rather small - a small moment on a huge film, and a significant storyline on a show that’s small in comparison - but, to me, they point to something bigger. it seems to me that disney has been somewhat testing the waters for a more mainstream representation of lgbt+ characters/relationships - if not, what’s the point? finn and poe would be the perfect opportunity for this given the attention it was given after tfa, and how on board oscar and john are. you’re half way there already. again i’m not saying that it will be explicitly romantic in tlj, but i wouldn’t be surprised if it is set up for just that, considering lgbt rep so far has not harmed them.

the cast/crew

alongside john and oscar being on board, the rest of the cast have pointed to a 'unpredictable’ romance. rian tweeted that infamous fanart. pablo speculated about finn & poe’s love (perhaps jokingly, but maybe not as much as we may think?) jj talked about introducing lgbt characters. john’s stance on stormpilot changed from 'nah lol it’s all in oscar’s mind’ to 'you never know what they may pull’ around the time they started filming tlj. rey/finn has been dismissed by john and they’re spending the majority of the movie apart which wouldn’t allow an organic romance to blossom (speaking of, john described finn & poe’s relationship as 'blossoming’ in tlj - romantic language, much?) rey and poe have barely shared a scene and rose and finn is a sure possibility but why would they introduce a new love interest for finn when he already had two plausible ones with rey and poe? that doesn’t make sense to me, and seems like a slap in the face to fans, esp considering the apparent influence they have over the saga according to kathleen kennedy. historically, the romances of the trilogies have been set up in the first movie w/ both hanleia and padme/anakin, which should be the case imo to bring the movies full circle. that effectively rules out finnrey and finnrose if they follow that formula. finally, kathleen, rian and even john have queerbaited the fuck out of people if finnpoe doesn’t happen. kathleen’s “we’ve talked about it” especially comes to mind with this. and sure, it’s a real possibility, but i think they’d know it would hurt the fans, especially as they know that lgbt rep and rep in general is such a sensitive and important issue. if this turns out to be the case, i will be incredibly hurt and disappointed.

rewrites

let’s not forget this - tlj was rewritten after the fan reaction to tfa. this obviously meant giving poe a bigger role, but which pairing recieved the most buzz after tfa even over the likes of reylo??? stormpilot. i think that says a lot, and it’s very likely that they made some changes to their relationship and at least opened up the possibility of a romance.

-

i know there’s things i have forgotten here, but these are the major things that i can think of rn. feel free to add your thoughts because i’d LOVE to hear them. and if this post has been incoherent/messy, it’s bc i’ve had a lot to write in a short space of time. please, please share what you think and may the force be with you. 1 month till stormpilot rises, y'all. (i hope)

[park-loins]

I'm gonna go reread all your fanfics starting with Jammed. I'll report back later ✌ - the anon with too much time on their hands

I CAN’T BELIEVE U REALLY DID THAT wow drink some water stay hydrated buddy~

Asks 2-23 from ur adventure below the cut, and i think tumblr ate some but that does not shock me. 

2) Goddamn it Loins, I didn't even get the E.L James reference until I reread the first quarter of Jammed, goddamn it I didn't even know who E.L James was until now and I'm completely shook this is why I reread things ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (2/?)

o yeah Kim Taehyung’s novel absolutely KILLED the ‘bored with my marriage wine moms’ demographic

3) 😏😏😏✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (3/?)

4) "author, sex god, part-time bee keeper" is my new Tinder description✌-The Anon with too much time on their hands

SHIT THAT’S SO GOOD THOUGH, i’d swipe right, hard right.

5) Yoooo, I can't believe that Jammed was your first BTS fanfiction, Loins. It was so good, and it was better the second time around! Okay, on to Reprise. I can't wait to weep at fuck'o'clock in the AM like the first time ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (5/?)

Ahhh thank u man! U know what I get really insecure about Jammed sometimes and I want to go back and change it, but it is what it is. And it got me publishing again! Which was the important thing. It felt so good to publish. 

6) Yoooo the notes on the first chapter of Reprise thooo. Damn, first time noticing that ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (6/?)

Oh me being a creepy child? Yeah I walked around the house calling “mommy, MOMMY” and mom was like ‘what’ and i was like ‘no, my REAL mommy,’ the proceeded to describe the death of my former family! i, for one, am surprised and grateful she did not ditch me on a deserted mountaintop. 

7) And people say smut can't be soft...but also...😏😏😏 ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (8/?)

aww u know what... i’m gonna have to write some soft stuff in the future... i haven’t gone super soft n sweet since then and i think i should. 

8) Yep, I'm getting emotions now. Thanks Loins, I needed those back. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (10/?)

9) Okay but, my shuffle starting playing 'How to Save A Life' by The Fray the MINUTE I got to reading the last Scene in Reprise™, and I'm feeling quite attacked, tbh ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (11/?)

oommgmgmgmgmgmgmmggmg

10) Is it too soon to bring up the "Oh look, I've been impaled" meme? ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (12/?)

YES IT CERTAINLY actually no u know what go for it, impaling is such a specific means of death u gotta take the shot when u have it. 

11) Okay, that's Reprise done. I've successfully got through it without crying this time, cause my family's asleep. Time to get into Inc. Don't worry since Inc. is really long, I won't bother you as much. I think you kinda hate me right now, spamming your already full inbox ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (13/?)

I WAS REALLY ENJOYING GETTING THESE THO as i was like getting ready for work then throughout the day, it was so nice ilu 

12) I will, and forever always believe, that Inc. is, and forever will be, one of THE most quotable fanfictions of our generation. Thank you and good day ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (14/?)

OKAY that means a lot, my family is SO big on quoting movies like that’s our sense of humor. In fact my sister has quoted inc. to me and then been like... hey what’s that from - cuz sometime we have so may references that we literally cant remember the origin- and i was like..... inc.

13) Me: *Reads the story of Murderers birth* Me "Wow, you could make a religion out of this" ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (15/?)

vmin at least made a HOLIDAY of it, that you can believe. 

14) Yoongi: "The only plant that's ever had the misfortune of being mine died long before it ever had a chance to tell it's tale of woe" Me: Wow, that sounds like somebody else I know...*looks into the camera like on the Office* ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (16/?)

....ok SURE fine whatever inc. yoongi is 87% me

15) Maybe Hazelnut will be our always? ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (17/?)

akdjlkjglkjhl

16) "I was very drunk, the photos where on Jimin's phone-..." Wait, wHaT!? See y'all, this👏is👏why👏re👏reading👏is👏 important 👏, I didn't even notice that the first time I read Inc., fucking hell. ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (18/?)

o yeah o yeah i was planting those vmin seeds for YEARs

17) "Jin steps gingerly over Namjoon, who is face down on the floor, moaning miserably into an abandoned microphone" This scene is the main reason I wish that could draw good fanart ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (19/?)

i almost think that bad fanart of this scene would be better

18) You know how there's a shirt floating around that has the entire script to the Bee Movie on the back? I want that, but instead of the Bee Movie, I just want the entire Inc. fanfiction. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (20/?)

 as long as “assplay” the 17 times i use it is in a slightly bigger font than EVERything else

19) Wow. A lot of shit went down in 2012. And we getting to the angsty, metaphorical shit, cause what else are you gonna get from a Minverse™ fanfiction? ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (22/?) 

i think i used 2012 as a reference year for crazy shit in paint too and i’m thinking about my 2012 and i’m like o yep. that’s why

20) Ah yes, the time when Loins decided to write a Christmas chapter in the dead of summertime. I ain't judging, anything for the story's sake ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands 

CHRISTMAS is not a time of YEAR but a feeling in your HEArT, and also a great plot device

21) The first appearance Leash!Tae in Loins' ao3 fanfics. Honestly, what an amazing experience to read this again. I'm honored. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (23/?)      

leash!tae was a lifechanging event in my real life and i’m just i’m so glad to insert it into my writing at any and every chance.

22) How dare you write some emotional-ass smut. Also I'm gonna stop sending these in after 30 so that I don't get your inbox so full 😗😙 I'm sure it's probably more than that cause I'm bad at tracking numbers, and I hope I got Anon on all of em.✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (26/30) 

‘nasty but emotional.’ MY new tinder bio

23) Can I just tell you something Loins? I'm a bit tipsy now, so don't judge, but you are so genuinely talented, it's sickening. Like, you talk about how your not that good at writing, but you could probably out write half of the people that's been on the NY Times Best Seller List. And you have such a good personality to top it off. I gotta stop sending asks now, sorry to end so suddenly, just know that I really appreciate what you're doing. 💓💓✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands

aw my dude... ur gonna make me emo but the good kind the just too many good and grateful emotions kind of emo.... that really means a lot man, idk if i’ll ever pursue writing outside of a fic context, but it make me feel SO nice to think even for a second that i could. anyway!! thank u for making my day, this was such a nice little distraction on an otherwise dull and shit day, and thank u for being so sweet n supportive n i really appreciate you!!!!