#ya i took some breaks but i think i deserved the kicks in the nerves it gave me for that lol

[keeps-ache]

technically, i'm better now! woo!! but my bones say no, ykno?

[petri808]

Day 10 @flufftober - “love of my life” Tianshan drabble. MO’s POV

It took distance to make me finally admit just how much Tian meant to me. To think, a relationship that began with a fight and ending up as lovers was not something I could have imagined. Not ever, and certainly not with another man when I’d been simply scrapping by as a loser under the thumb of a heartless gang leader like She Li. Back then I didn’t have much of an opinion about myself other than ending up working some low wage job behind a stove somewhere and living with my mother. No one else but her cared, well, except maybe Buzzcut. It certainly wasn’t enough to make me care about myself. Why should I have? I was no genus at academics, pretty good cook and able to clean, but that just made me a servant, a slave— Big deal.

At first, He Tian wasn’t much different from She Li in that he pushed me around too. Cook for him, clean for him, drug me around on whims, scaring the hell out of me on too many occasions. And yet, it was… different. For starters, Tian paid me which was great for me and my mom since we could use the money. Tian didn’t beat me or use me for illegal stuff like getting into fights with rival gangs. But I have to say the turning point started with standing up for me and refusing to let me take the fall for something I didn’t do. Tian and Jian and Xi, the trio fighting with the school administration and using their connections, took me completely by surprise when I didn’t think I deserved their help. Buying me things and showing me another side of the world I never experienced before slowly pulled me in. Showing me what friendship really meant, well, isn’t that what we all want?

But… it’s when I saw the pain in Tian’s eyes when he found me broken and battered, and the anger he unleashed on She Li for breaking my body and spirit, then the ferocity he showed when they hurt Jian, just wow… how could it not have sucked me in? This man cared so damn much, taught me so much, it felt amazing when I scored that 80 on the test and the glimmer in his eyes of how proud he was for me. Damn, I knew then I was falling in love.

Then his brother had to take him away from us— from me, and send him to another school where I couldn’t follow. The bastard, I was so angry at first at Chen. Couldn’t the bastard see how much we meant to each other? Tch. Yeah, okay we kept in touch by phone and Tian would come home to visit during breaks, but for the majority of three years I had to endure without him. Just Jian and Xi as company, it wasn’t the same damn it! I really started to miss the times he would sneak into bed with me or watched me when he thought I was asleep. The kisses he’d sneak in or touching me and grabbing onto me when it was dark… I really, really missed it, him, and counted the days till I’d see him again. But most of all, I just missed the company and his support. Of him pushing me to do better in school and simply be a better man. So, I did what he hoped during our time apart and did my best in school, biding my time till the day we could reunite.

What will he think?

Jian Yi answered the knock on the bedroom door. It was Qi letting us know it was time to head down to the backyard.

“Ya ready?” Jian asked me and I nod yes… nervous, but ready for what was next. So he grins and straightens my tie before patting me on the shoulder. “Let’s go, your man awaits,” he teases.

Tch, I sneer but with a blushing grin. My man? Yeah, that man alright. I follow along as I’m lead then told to wait just inside the door to the backyard. We can hear the music starting to play. Oof, the nerves are kicking in. Excited nervous energy that’s making me grin from ear to ear— Dun, dun da dun, dun da da dun… Jian claps me on the back seconds before they door opens to the crowd of onlookers staring back at us from He Cheng’s backyard adorned with the makings of a garden wedding venue. A swallow hard to drench my parched throat as I see the love of my life standing at the end of the flower-laced aisle waiting for me with the biggest smile I think I’ve ever seen.

I take a deep breath and walk forward with a smile. Thank you, He Tian for choosing me…

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ prompt: "Do you want me to hurt him?" / inspired by 'telephone' by lady gaga

♡ pairing: bart allen ( impulse ) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / my schedule is going to become more sporadic starting next week :/ i'm going to keep the warning up until next week.

"Bart, shut up," you said, jokingly pushing him. he laughed, handing you the ice cream, "what? I'm serious! I just think that mint chocolate is better. if you have just mint, it'll taste like toothpaste and if you have just chocolate, it's too sweet so mint chocolate is a good even ground," he explained.

you felt your phone vibrate as Jinny spoke up, talking about how Bart and Connor shared one brain cell outside of the field. looking down to see who was ringing you, you saw that it was your god forsaken boyfriend for the 100th time.

"oooo, who is that?" Bart asked, looking over to your phone. he read the wall of text you had received but you quickly shut your phone off, not bothering to read it, "you gonna answer that?" he asked, a small bit of jealousy bubbling up inside him.

"don't really feel like it," you quickly said, trying to remain off that topic. Bart, clearly annoyed, snatched your phone and put it in his pocket, "than let's forget about him, right?" he asked, putting on his annoyed fake smile.

Tim and Jinny saw the very irritated face Bart had and looked to each other as they shook their heads, "those two I swear," Jinny huffed out in annoyance. "more like ( your name )," he replied, "Bart could admit his feelings to her face and she still wouldn't do anything about that horrid boyfriend of hers."

the two of them stifled giggles from each other as they watched the two of you continue to flirt openly. it was no secret to anyone on the team. it was very clear to everyone on the YJ team, the Titans, even the JLA knew that the two of you liked each other....a lot but it was that stupid boyfriend of yours that got in the way of Bart ever truly expressing his feelings for you.

"what is everyone's plans after this?" you asked the team as they all murmured different answers, indicating that they were all busy. you sighed, trying not go straight up at the moment because you knew that you'd have to deal with your boyfriends calls when you got there, "I'll stay out with ya!" Bart replied as he saw the empty park bench.

you gave him a grin, "thanks Allen. you're a life saver," you exclaimed, waving everyone off goodbye. you walked to the bench, Bart following right behind you as Bart felt your phone ringing again.

there had been a scarce few times where you did call Bart with your boyfriend problems. it was usually late at night. probably inching near three in the morning when you called him sobbing, asking him if you deserved to go through the bullshit you were dealing with your boyfriend.

Bart always felt himself getting angry whenever he received those calls. you sounded so heartbroken, tired, and emotional. he was always there to help pick you back up but not even a few days later, you were back with him, telling Bart that your boyfriend needed you now more than ever.

"he's still angry that you're hanging out with me? do you want me to hurt him?" he asked, finally taking your phone out of your pocket. you nodded, rolling your eyes, "Bart no. he thinks that my 'job' is taking too much time away from him and I being together. I swear, it's like hearing a broken record. one minute, he's mad and wants to break up and the next second, he's at my door asking for forgiveness," you explained, frustrated.

Bart squeezed your hand, tapping his fingers on top yours, "you know what you need to do," he replied, giving you a serious look. you stared at him, biting your lip, "it's hard, Bart. he's going through a lot and I'll feel guilty if I just leave him," you whispered taking his hand and holding it.

"you literally fight villains for a living and you're scared of that? you know you deserve more," Bart said, "and I've seen the way you look at other girls who decide to flirt with me," he joked, trying to break the tension. "shut up, it's not even like that," you lied, making Bart even laugh more. "but seriously, you know it's not secret that I like you." you sighed, not knowing what to say as you put your head on his shoulder.

the silence wasn't exactly awkward but it wasn't comfortable either. there had been multiple times when Bart had told you his true feelings for you and every time he did, you responded with a hum or a 'okay Bart'.

it wasn't that you didn't accept his true feelings. it was far from that. you actually did like the speedster but you knew Bart could do a lot better. you knew Bart deserved someone who actually deserved him and that person wasn't you. you weren't as cute or funny as he was. he deserved someone like Cassie. smart, funny, and cute.

+

the YJ tower was completely empty aside from you and Bart. everyone was out doing their own thing. Tim and Connor were at their respective homes. Jinny and Amethyst were out doing god knows what meanwhile Keli and Cassie had gone to the movies to watch a film they both had been dying to see so that just left you and Bart in the lair to do as you pleased.

"Bart, hand me the remote," you said lazily. he handed it to you as you turned it off, getting up and stretching yourself out. Bart stared at you confused, "why'd you turn it off? I was watching that!" he exclaimed. you threw the remote across the couch and getting him up, "lets do something productive and make dinner or something," you replied enthusiastically.

Bart rolled his eyes but got up nonetheless. he followed you to the kitchen as you played music through the speakers that were built on the wall. "what're you making?" he asked, seeing you take out things that made no sense.

you looked over your options and realized you could make some kind of stew or a soup of some kind. "beef and gravy stew! we have enough things to make enough for the team and seconds for the both of us," you said, getting the things from the cupboards and having Bart start to chop every thing up.

you knew Bart was dumb but that didn't mean he wasn't a kick ass cook. there had been multiple times where he had made everyone dinner or dinner even for the two of you and it always turned out amazing. you dumped every thing that Bart had chopped up and proud it into the pot before grabbing a few things from the fridge and making the gravy that had to poured in. it didn't take long but the two of you had to wait until the pot boiled up in order for it to be ready.

the song 'telepatia' by Kali Uchis played over the speakers as you finally turned over to Bart and smiled, "we just need for it to boil and it'll be ready!" you exclaimed. he nodded as you started singing the song out loud. not particularly towards him but a warm feeling in his gut made him get butterflies as you continued.

"you know I'm just a flight away, if you want it, you can take a private plane."

you looked up to Bart, wanting to give him another smile but he quickly got rid of any questioning thoughts and went in for a kiss. you were taken back in surprise. this was the first time Bart had ever put his feelings forward and actually gave you a kiss.

his kisses were soft. they weren't rushed which was ironic considering all Bart was, was being fast and always on the move. you had placed your hands on his thighs as you made the kiss even deeper. it took you a few seconds to register what you were doing when alarms rang off in your head. you had a boyfriend and by continuing to kiss Bart, you were technically cheating on him.

"Bart no, I can't," you murmured, pushing yourself off of him. he gave you a defeated look, understanding where you coming from, "I'm sorry," you replied, going back to the food and trying to forget that you even made the move to reciprocate the kiss. in the back of your mind though, knew it that kiss meant that you had fell for Bart and hard.

+

"I have to head home, it's getting late and we patrol tomorrow night so I think it's best we head back," you whispered knowing you'd have to deal with your stingy boyfriend when you got home. Bart gave your hand one more squeeze before getting up, "see you later," Bart murmured, getting the inkling feeling that he'd probably receive a phone call tonight from you.

you nodded, making your way towards your apartment. you had a fuck ton of messages from your boyfriend and over ten missed calls by the time you sat comfortably in your couch. you finally dialed him back, instantly getting a bunch of curse words thrown at you for not picking up.

it felt like hours when the two of you finally stopped arguing with each other. it ended with you in tears and your voice hoarse as you had finally grown the nerve to break up with him. you knew for your mental health that it was time to do it and truthfully, your feelings for Bart were growing more and more every time you saw him. there was no point in continuing the relationship if you were no longer having feelings for him and although you felt guilty by doing it, you ripped it off like a band aid.

you grabbed your phone and clicked on Bart's number. Bart on the other hand shifted in his bed, seeing your contact light up his phone. he groggily picked it up, "hey," he said in that sleepy tone of his. you hiccuped, trying to control your tears, "can you come over?" you whispered, the crack of thunder scaring you shitless, "I really need someone right now."

Bart sighed, telling you to give him a minute before hanging up. Bart had no idea how many more of these late night sleepovers he had left in him. he sped over to your place, grabbing the secret key from the back of the broken piece of wood that was attached to your door frame. he opened it, seeing you sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand and your hiccups still overcoming your body.

"what's wrong?" he asked. you stared at him, tears instantly rushing down your face, "I deserve to be happy right?" he nodded almost immediately, "than why do I feel so shitty because I broke up with him?" you asked.

Bart stared at you, not believing what he was hearing. you had finally broken up with that shitty boyfriend and he was the first person you contacted.

"because that's what manipulative people do ( your name )," he whispered, "they make you feel like shit for things that you didn't even do. you're perfect and he didn't deserve you or anyone like you. especially you though," he joked, bracing you even harder for a hug. he knew it would be wrong to try and make a move but gave you a kiss on the top of your head and whispered nothing but supportive things into your ear as you tried to calm yourself down.

the rain happening outside and Bart's words were lulling you to sleep as Bart hadn't even realized that you were passing out on his side. it wasn't until you hadn't moved that Bart realized you were not longer awake. he grabbed your body, lifting you up bridal style before making his way to your room.

he placed you down on your bed with every intention of just letting you sleep and him heading home but you grabbed onto his body, sleepily saying that he was going to stay here. you hadn't even said it as a question but more as a statement. he didn't argue with it; however, and he had thankfully came over in his pajamas as he scooted you over a bit and crawled in.

you smiled softly, hugging him instantly and passing out once again. Bart placed a small kiss on the top of your head before whispering into your ear, "you'll be mine one day, didn't I tell you that?" he murmured before trying to fall back asleep.

[narutogu]

Touch Starved

REPOSTED ON MY MAIN NARUTO BLOG BECAUSE IT WASN’T SHOWING UP IN THE TAGS. MORE WRITING TO COME ON @narutogwriting​

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

CW: none

Length: 4k+

Inspired by this picture

Requests are Open!

“Naruto?”

Your voice broke out softly through the momentary silence. The wind had been howling almost constantly that night, keeping you wide awake. You weren’t afraid of anything, not really. At twelve years old, you, like many of your friends, had the notion that you were invincible. Nothing could touch you, and you would always come out on top. You would miss that as you grew older, the confidence in yourself and your abilities. The belief that the world was fair, and that the good guys always won.

So it wasn’t really that you were scared of the way the wind screamed, the whistles through the tree leaves or the sporadic loud crashes that came as the wind blew branches and even tree trunks to the ground. Maybe it was the fact that you had experienced the first death of an enemy on a mission.

And maybe it was deserved. He had been a criminal, after all, and you hadn’t delivered the fateful blow; of course not. It had been Kakashi, in a bid to save your life.

So maybe you were scared, or traumatized, or reeling from your innocence being shattered for the very first time. Whatever you felt, you were still too young, too inexperienced, to be able to pinpoint what exactly the distressed tugging of your heart meant.

It was what had dragged you from your own tent to Naruto’s, quietly and nervously. Kakashi was in his own tent, and you had been sharing with Sakura who was fast asleep. Having her by your side did nothing to calm the storm beginning to brew from inside you.

You had opened his tent timidly, doing your best not to startle him awake. He was fast asleep, on his side in fetal position hugging his pillow to him tightly. But when you spoke his name, your voice stirred him even from his deep slumber.

Naruto whispered your name, groggily, confused, but he’d know your voice anywhere.

Yawning, he sat up rubbing at his eyes, peering at you curiously. “What happened?” He asked.

“Can I sleep in here with you?”

If you were brave, then there were no words adequate enough to describe the courage that burned within Naruto’s heart. He was sure of himself, of what he believed. He would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He would do anything for you. You couldn’t think of a safer place than by his side.

“Yeah, of course.”

Relief flooded through you as you dragged your sleeping bag into the tent, fitting it next to his with some distance of course. You were best friends, but you were also twelve. There was something embarrassing about sleeping so close to someone of the opposite gender. But you couldn’t remember a time where you had ever slept more soundly.

And thus a new tradition had been born. For the whole year and a half afterwards, anytime you and Naruto were on a mission together, you shared a tent. Sure some of your friends teased you for it, and whatever jonin leading your team would shoot the two of you knowing looks as if they had some secret knowledge that you and Naruto hadn’t yet discovered.

But for you and Naruto, it was normal, as natural as anything. The two of you already spent all your time by each other’s side—it only made sense that that would include sharing a tent when on missions together.

It was only ever a tent though. It wasn’t like the two of you cuddled or anything. That was just embarrassing! Though you two were now out of the stage of believing in cooties, you were beginning to understand that there were some secret, unspoken rules for the way you were expected to act with the other gender. Ridiculous, arbitrary rules that were as old as time and didn’t account for the complexity that was the gender spectrum, but you didn’t understand any of that just yet.

When Naruto left, you were heartbroken, of course. Shattered even. You’d never known that it could feel like you had a hole in your heart until Naruto had taken part of yours with him. You dreaded the years to come of missing him.

But he had work to do and so did you. Naruto was going to get stronger and there was no way you would be left behind. Every time you missed him, you threw yourself into your training. The years didn’t pass quickly, but you found as time went on you were able to find other things that made you feel more whole even when you weren’t.

And just as suddenly, that void was filled. Blond hair and bright orange clothing filled your vision and kicked your heart up into your throat. You hadn’t expected to see him, but nothing could have made you happier.

You’d worried over the years that when Naruto came home, things would be different. Spending two and a half years apart changed things, and you had grown a lot. But you and Naruto fell into step together like he had never left, and just like that you had your best friend back.

But things had changed, though you weren’t going to admit that. When his blue eyes met yours, your breath stopped. Every time his fingers ran through his hair, it was like you were in another world. Part of you knew things were different, but you were never going to say it out loud. You buried your feelings deep within you, hiding your heart like a secret.

The thing that made you most nervous was when you and Naruto had your first mission together since he’d been back. You, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, just like the mission where you’d first shared a tent. You didn’t know what to say, embarrassed to ask if you would both share a tent like when you were younger. If that had been embarrassing when you were twelve, it was even worse when you were sixteen.

When your team stopped for camp Kakashi went to secure the perimeter and Sakura to gather firewood. You went to work setting up your own tent when you felt Naruto’s presence behind you. You turned to look at him. He was standing there, scratching the back of his head, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked anywhere but at you.

“I didn’t bring a tent…” He admitted sheepishly. “When we were younger, we always shared a tent, and I figured we’d just do that again… I can share with Kakashi, though, if it’s weird. I don’t mean to—”

“Naruto,” You interrupted him with a laugh, though the color on your cheeks now matched his. “Of course we can share a tent.” You told him, turning back to your work as you set it up. “Don’t be weird.” You weren’t sure if it was a message to him or to yourself.

Unlike everything else with Naruto’s return, sleeping by Naruto didn’t feel as natural as it had before. There was a tension, almost palpable, settling in the tent. It was as if there was a string attaching your fingers to his, and the more the string pulled you to him, the closer to your sides you kept your hands. You couldn’t know that he felt it too.

The mission was straight forward and accomplished quickly. As soon as it started, it ended, and your team was heading back to the leaf village, only a days journey away. You would stop around the same area you had the night before, camping for the evening before heading home at daylight. You and Naruto had barely talked the whole way.

That night reminded you of the one when you had first crawled into Naruto’s tent. The wind was roaring making it hard to fall asleep. It was winter this time, however, and you hadn’t accounted for the night being so cold. The clothes you’d chosen to sleep in did nothing to keep in your body’s warmth, and your teeth chattered audibly as you curled into your sleeping bag, back to Naruto.

When your name left his hips, it almost startled you. The two of you had crawled into the tent quietly, not even bothering to say goodnight, the weight of the change in your relationship that you could both feel hanging heavy between you.

“Yeah?” You found yourself saying back, almost too quietly for him to hear. Almost.

“Uh, do you wanna, I dunno, sleep in my sleeping bag with me?” He mumbled, the words coming out fast and bunching together. “It’s just really cold, and I’m afraid that your teeth are going to break from clicking together so hard.” He hoped the joke would make it less weird, that you would feel more comfortable.

The question choked you with something you didn’t have words for, a feeling that bubbled in your stomach, spreading warm and shaky throughout your body.

“Okay.”

You crawled slowly, oh so slowly from your bag to his. He tried to scoot to one side, to make room. He unzipped the bag just a little bit, enough for you to crawl in next to him before he zipped it back up. There wasn’t enough room for you to lay comfortably next to him. Your body was on his just a bit, head by his chest and your arms pressed tightly to your side. You felt frozen with excitement and nerves. This was as close to a boy as you’d ever been.

The silence seemed to go on forever, but it was just a few seconds. Naruto’s arm had been pressed motionless to his sides, but slowly he felt them thaw before wrapping around your body, pressing you to him.

“You can like, hug me, ya know? Or put your arms on me or something. Just to be more comfortable.”

You nodded, your throat dry as you tried to swallow. You unlatched your arms from your body, a hand going up to rest on his chest. It only took a moment or two to get comfortable, to feel like your body fit perfectly into his. Falling asleep in Naruto’s arms, that was the most comfortable you’d ever slept.

The next morning, there wasn’t an awkwardness. It was something else, something sweeter, shyer. The string pulled your fingers closer, and though your hand didn’t touch his, neither did it pull away. You’d never felt so giddy in your life.

If only you knew what it meant to Naruto.

Naruto couldn’t remember one time in his life that he had cuddled with another person. He was sure that he must’ve been held at least occasionally as a baby, but it wasn’t anything he could remember. No one hugged him as he grew, no one tucked him in at night or rocked him to sleep. Once, when he was four, Naruto had found a puppy that got away from its owner. Naruto scooped the small animal up, holding him in his arms. The puppy had licked him affectionately, and Naruto was embarrassed by the fact that the small action had brought him to tears. Iruka’s hand on his head was the first affectionate touch he could remember from another person. He’d thought his heart would burst at that moment. It was nothing compared to what he’d felt getting to hold you while he slept.

He’d heard people say that hugging could lower stress, elevate your mood, even help prevent you from getting sick. He’d never understood it. Naruto had occasionally hugged Sakura and gotten affectionate touches from his sensei as he got older, but sleeping with you was different.

He understood now what the experts meant when they spoke about the benefits of hugging. He could comprehend why romantic relationships were so important to people if they got to touch their partner every day. Cuddling with you that night had Naruto’s head reeling, high off an emotion he didn’t even have a name for. He’d never felt so close to another person, so connected. How had he survived sixteen years without this? How had he survived those two and a half years training without you?

It was a mix of emotions as your head hit your pillow that night. You were relieved to have been able to take a shower. A home cooked meal never tasted so good as it did after a mission where you survived off dried meats. The softness of your mattress definitely beat the cold hard ground. But, you realized, you would gladly spend a lifetime sleeping on the floor of the woods if you got to sleep by Naruto’s side.

It was too scary to think about these new feelings. You knew what it was now, that you didn’t just see Naruto as your best friend. You liked Naruto. Maybe even more than liked him. You didn’t know how this could have happened. How could you ever face him again? If he knew how you felt, your friendship would be ruined.

You had resolved to avoid him for the foreseeable future so that you could wait out the feelings. Maybe if you had some time apart, the feelings would go away, and nothing would have to change between the two of you.

Your eyes had finally started to flutter closed with exhaustion when you heard tapping on your window, startling you. Sitting up, you looked uncertainly towards the window before finally getting up and going to inspect the noise. Naruto’s face peering back at you from the other side was the last thing you expected to see.

Opening the window as quietly as you could, you willed the butterflies in your stomach to quell. “Naruto, what are you doing here?” You whispered, glancing back towards your bedroom door, sure that your parents would burst through at any moment.

Naruto looked sheepishly back at you, a bashful grin on his face. “Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked. Rolling your eyes, you did your best to bite back the giddy smile playing on your own lips.

“Yes, Naruto. I’m trying to sleep. What are you doing here?” You asked him again. Instead of answering, Naruto began climbing through your window, making a little too much noise. You shushed him with a stifled giggle as he fell to the floor. “You’re going to wake my parents,” You told him, trying to look stern. Naruto hopped back up to his feet looking at you embarrassedly.

“I couldn’t sleep…” He admitted, his eyes flickering from yours back to the floor. “I was wondering… Do you think I could sleep here tonight?”

The question hung between the two of you, innocent and unassuming. It wasn’t that weird, the two of you were thinking. You shared a tent on missions; was it that different sharing a bed?

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, feeling breathless. Naruto was in his pajamas too, you realized, decked in a white t shirt and orange sweats. You turned from him, walking slowly to your bed, doing your best not to make any noise. “You have to leave before my parents are up, okay?” You whispered as you climbed back into your bed.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically, following after you. “I will, believe it!” He said a little too loudly for someone that wasn’t supposed to be there. You shot him a look, though you couldn’t help but smile.

Climbing into the bed after you, Naruto got comfortable under the covers, and the two of you laid next to each other silently. Staring at the ceiling, you wondered if Naruto could hear the sound of your heartbeat as it rang in your ears. This was fine. This was normal for two best friends.

You weren’t sure how long you laid there, more awake than you had been before. You closed your eyes, doing your best to get some rest and failing miserably. You were too aware of Naruto’s presence beside you. He seemed to have fallen asleep long ago if his rhythmic breathing was anything to go by.

And then, suddenly, you felt him rolling over. His hand reached out in the darkness, finding you and pulling you flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, holding you to him before his body went still again. You froze, looking up at his face. Was he awake? Had he meant to do that? It was impossible to tell with his eyes screwed shut.

You felt alive, truly alive, for the first time in your life. Nothing had ever felt so right.

The next morning, as promised, Naruto was back out the window before your parents woke up. The two of you had stayed in that position all night, and when Naruto began to shift awake, he looked at you with a shy, lopsided smile. All he said was a quiet “good morning” before he was sneaking out.

And there was no way to hide now that things had definitely changed. It was unspoken, but you both knew it. Neither of you knew what to say about it, didn’t know if you even should say anything about it. It wasn’t bad. It was good, better than good, but so new and unexplored for the both of you that you didn’t know how to approach the subject, so you said nothing about it.

It became a regular occurrence for Naruto to climb through your window every night to sleep in your bed. Each time he did, it became easier for Naruto to pull you into him as he fell asleep, and every morning when he left, you wondered how you had ever slept without Naruto’s arms around you.

All of your friends noticed the change between you and Naruto too, though no one said anything. They all exchanged curious glances with each other, seeing how easily Naruto touched you now and the way the two of you looked at each other just a little bit longer than you used to. But no one knew about your and Naruto’s extended sleepover, and so they all whispered among themselves, but said nothing about it to your faces.

When your parents decided to move back to the village that you had been born in, they gave you the option to stay in the leaf. You were only sixteen, but you were a ninja afterall. You were more than capable of making your own choices and taking care of yourself.

And of course you stayed. This was where your life was, where your friends were. Even more importantly, this was where Naruto was.

So when you told him your predicament, that you needed to find a new place to stay, he didn’t hesitate in offering to stay with him. You were sitting at his kitchen table when he said it, and he immediately began pushing things around the small apartment. “You see? We can put your bed here, and can move this over here…” He motioned to the space he had created. “It may be a little cramped, but at least until you can find something else?”

Of course your friends teased the two of you about your new living arrangements. Never when you were together. Everyone was insistent, desperate to be the one that got one of you to cave and admit your feelings for each other. For your part, you just smiled and said, “He’s my best friend.”

And that flew for a while. The same people that had been sure you and Naruto were meant to be began to wonder if they had it wrong all along, began to wonder if you and Naruto truly were just friends.

They didn’t know that you never got around to getting your own bed at Naruto’s house. That first night, you just shared his bed because you’d been doing it for so long. The same thing happened the next night, and the night after that, and the thought of getting a separate bed just didn’t seem that important. And anyways, you’d gotten used to sleeping by Naruto’s side. Naruto knew that if you got your own bed, he would just climb into yours every night.

You were only sixteen, but Naruto wanted nothing more than to spend every night by your side. He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he’d ever been so happy. There was so much on his mind all the time, the oncoming war, getting Sasuke back. And even with the chaos surrounding him, Naruto was at peace because of you. He had a confidence that everything would work out okay. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which it wouldn’t.

It was the first time that Sakura and Ino had stopped by since you’d moved in that it was pointed out how unconventional your arrangement was. Sure, you both knew it wasn’t exactly normal, but it worked for the two of you. You didn’t see any harm in it.

Naruto was away on a mission when the girls had stopped by, needing to borrow something. When you let them in, they excitedly looked around the small studio apartment, wanting to see if and how you had changed Naruto’s place.

“Uh, where’s the other bed?” Sakura asked as you closed a cupboard, pulling out the tupperware they needed.

“Hm?” You asked, placing it on the table. “Oh, I haven’t gotten one yet. We usually just share.” You said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You’d shared your bed with Naruto so long, it no longer embarrassed you. You’d just never had a reason to mention it.

Sakura and Ino’s jaws dropped. They looked from you to each other, wondering if you were serious. You picked up on their shock, looking back at them sheepishly. “What?” You mumbled, feeling your face heating up.

“Are you guys, like, dating?” Ino placed her hand on her hip, looking at you expectedly. You shook your head.

“No, of course not. He’s my best friend! I just haven’t gotten my own bed yet. It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal!?” Sakura exclaimed. “It’s a huge deal! You guys live together, share a bed together… you’re practically married!”

Ino nodded in agreement. “Sakura’s right. That’s a weird thing for two ‘best friends’ to be doing. It’s not normal.”

Sakura and Ino’s words rang through your head all day after they’d gone. Was it that weird? Sure, the whole thing had been nerve wracking at first, but now it was just part of your dynamic like everything else was. Of course you still harbored your feelings for Naruto, but you’d pushed them deep down, pretending they weren’t there in a bid to save your and Naruto’s friendship.

You were already in bed when he got back from his mission that night. He threw open the door, dropping his bag and sighing loudly. “Are you awake?” He called as he made his way to the bathroom.

“I am now,” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you heard the shower start. You yawned, your body tired despite how awake your mind was. It was a while longer before Naruto was finally ready to settle in for the night.

With a loud yawn, he dropped down on the bed beside you, stretching. “I missed this,” he said, turning over as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. He reached for you instinctively, a happy sigh leaving his lips as you cuddled into his chest.

But Naruto knew you better than anyone, and he could tell something was on your mind. “Everything okay?” He murmured against your hair, moments from falling asleep.

“Is this weird?” You asked him timidly, afraid to hear his answer.

Naruto froze for a moment before pulling away slightly, just enough so he could look down at you. “Is what weird?” He asked back slowly.

You shrugged. “Sakura and Ino stopped by today. They saw we share a bed and… I don’t know. They said it wasn’t normal.” You were afraid to voice the thought, but you couldn’t help it. The seed had been planted, and it wouldn’t stop growing.

But Naruto just rolled his eyes in response. “You’re gonna listen to them?” He asked with a small laugh. “What do they know about normal?”

“They said it was only normal for people that were, like, in a relationship. Not people that were just friends…”

Naruto was quiet, and you could tell he was mulling over the information, no doubt wondering--much like you were--if they had a point. He pulled away even more, and you could see in the moonlight that he was blushing. “Are we just friends?”

The words hit you like a freight train, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. You weren’t ready for this conversation. Things had been going so well, you’d been so happy and comfortable. You weren’t ready for things between you and Naruto to change, not yet. But now you didn’t have a choice.

“Do you want to be?” You whispered back.

The silence lingered, heavy and suffocating. You felt ready to cry. You loved Naruto. You didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer, but you didn’t want to lose him either. If he didn’t feel the same way… You didn’t know what you’d do. You couldn’t think of anything any more devastating.

Reluctantly, you brought your eyes up to meet Naruto’s brilliant blue ones. They were staring earnestly into yours, searching for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. Slowly, shakily, he brought his hand up to your face, brushing your hair back. His touch was soft, barely there, and it sent shivers up your spine.

Finally, he leaned in to you, bringing his lips to brush against yours in a sweet, shy kiss. The motion was unsure, nervous. He’d been dying to do that for months now, and he had no idea how you would react.

Naruto’s kiss sent your head reeling. You’d always thought that kissing Naruto would send your heart racing, but instead it slowed, calming every nerve in your body.

When Naruto pulled away, he was wearing a grin that matched yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He told you, stroking your cheek. You could only smile in response, pulling him in to kiss you once more

Naruto had gone his whole life touch starved and alone. Affection was so scarce, he hadn’t even known what he was missing.

Sharing a bed, sleeping next to you, kissing you goodnight. It wasn’t scary or unsure.

It felt like coming home.

[narutogwriting]

Touch Starved

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

CW: none

Length: 4k+

Inspired by this picture

Requests are Open!

“Naruto?”

Your voice broke out softly through the momentary silence. The wind had been howling almost constantly that night, keeping you wide awake. You weren’t afraid of anything, not really. At twelve years old, you, like many of your friends, had the notion that you were invincible. Nothing could touch you, and you would always come out on top. You would miss that as you grew older, the confidence in yourself and your abilities. The belief that the world was fair, and that the good guys always won.

So it wasn’t really that you were scared of the way the wind screamed, the whistles through the tree leaves or the sporadic loud crashes that came as the wind blew branches and even tree trunks to the ground. Maybe it was the fact that you had experienced the first death of an enemy on a mission.

And maybe it was deserved. He had been a criminal, after all, and you hadn’t delivered the fateful blow; of course not. It had been Kakashi, in a bid to save your life.

So maybe you were scared, or traumatized, or reeling from your innocence being shattered for the very first time. Whatever you felt, you were still too young, too inexperienced, to be able to pinpoint what exactly the distressed tugging of your heart meant.

It was what had dragged you from your own tent to Naruto’s, quietly and nervously. Kakashi was in his own tent, and you had been sharing with Sakura who was fast asleep. Having her by your side did nothing to calm the storm beginning to brew from inside you.

You had opened his tent timidly, doing your best not to startle him awake. He was fast asleep, on his side in fetal position hugging his pillow to him tightly. But when you spoke his name, your voice stirred him even from his deep slumber.

Naruto whispered your name, groggily, confused, but he’d know your voice anywhere.

Yawning, he sat up rubbing at his eyes, peering at you curiously. “What happened?” He asked.

“Can I sleep in here with you?”

If you were brave, then there were no words adequate enough to describe the courage that burned within Naruto’s heart. He was sure of himself, of what he believed. He would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He would do anything for you. You couldn’t think of a safer place than by his side.

“Yeah, of course.”

Relief flooded through you as you dragged your sleeping bag into the tent, fitting it next to his with some distance of course. You were best friends, but you were also twelve. There was something embarrassing about sleeping so close to someone of the opposite gender. But you couldn’t remember a time where you had ever slept more soundly.

And thus a new tradition had been born. For the whole year and a half afterwards, anytime you and Naruto were on a mission together, you shared a tent. Sure some of your friends teased you for it, and whatever jonin leading your team would shoot the two of you knowing looks as if they had some secret knowledge that you and Naruto hadn’t yet discovered.

But for you and Naruto, it was normal, as natural as anything. The two of you already spent all your time by each other’s side—it only made sense that that would include sharing a tent when on missions together.

It was only ever a tent though. It wasn’t like the two of you cuddled or anything. That was just embarrassing! Though you two were now out of the stage of believing in cooties, you were beginning to understand that there were some secret, unspoken rules for the way you were expected to act with the other gender. Ridiculous, arbitrary rules that were as old as time and didn’t account for the complexity that was the gender spectrum, but you didn’t understand any of that just yet.

When Naruto left, you were heartbroken, of course. Shattered even. You’d never known that it could feel like you had a hole in your heart until Naruto had taken part of yours with him. You dreaded the years to come of missing him.

But he had work to do and so did you. Naruto was going to get stronger and there was no way you would be left behind. Every time you missed him, you threw yourself into your training. The years didn’t pass quickly, but you found as time went on you were able to find other things that made you feel more whole even when you weren’t.

And just as suddenly, that void was filled. Blond hair and bright orange clothing filled your vision and kicked your heart up into your throat. You hadn’t expected to see him, but nothing could have made you happier.

You’d worried over the years that when Naruto came home, things would be different. Spending two and a half years apart changed things, and you had grown a lot. But you and Naruto fell into step together like he had never left, and just like that you had your best friend back.

But things had changed, though you weren’t going to admit that. When his blue eyes met yours, your breath stopped. Every time his fingers ran through his hair, it was like you were in another world. Part of you knew things were different, but you were never going to say it out loud. You buried your feelings deep within you, hiding your heart like a secret.

The thing that made you most nervous was when you and Naruto had your first mission together since he’d been back. You, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, just like the mission where you’d first shared a tent. You didn’t know what to say, embarrassed to ask if you would both share a tent like when you were younger. If that had been embarrassing when you were twelve, it was even worse when you were sixteen.

 When your team stopped for camp Kakashi went to secure the perimeter and Sakura to gather firewood. You went to work setting up your own tent when you felt Naruto’s presence behind you. You turned to look at him. He was standing there, scratching the back of his head, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked anywhere but at you.

“I didn’t bring a tent…” He admitted sheepishly. “When we were younger, we always shared a tent, and I figured we’d just do that again… I can share with Kakashi, though, if it’s weird. I don’t mean to—” 

“Naruto,” You interrupted him with a laugh, though the color on your cheeks now matched his. “Of course we can share a tent.” You told him, turning back to your work as you set it up. “Don’t be weird.” You weren’t sure if it was a message to him or to yourself.

Unlike everything else with Naruto’s return, sleeping by Naruto didn’t feel as natural as it had before. There was a tension, almost palpable, settling in the tent. It was as if there was a string attaching your fingers to his, and the more the string pulled you to him, the closer to your sides you kept your hands. You couldn’t know that he felt it too.

The mission was straight forward and accomplished quickly. As soon as it started, it ended, and your team was heading back to the leaf village, only a days journey away. You would stop around the same area you had the night before, camping for the evening before heading home at daylight. You and Naruto had barely talked the whole way.

That night reminded you of the one when you had first crawled into Naruto’s tent. The wind was roaring making it hard to fall asleep. It was winter this time, however, and you hadn’t accounted for the night being so cold. The clothes you’d chosen to sleep in did nothing to keep in your body’s warmth, and your teeth chattered audibly as you curled into your sleeping bag, back to Naruto.

When your name left his hips, it almost startled you. The two of you had crawled into the tent quietly, not even bothering to say goodnight, the weight of the change in your relationship that you could both feel hanging heavy between you.

“Yeah?” You found yourself saying back, almost too quietly for him to hear. Almost.

“Uh, do you wanna, I dunno, sleep in my sleeping bag with me?” He mumbled, the words coming out fast and bunching together. “It’s just really cold, and I’m afraid that your teeth are going to break from clicking together so hard.” He hoped the joke would make it less weird, that you would feel more comfortable.

The question choked you with something you didn’t have words for, a feeling that bubbled in your stomach, spreading warm and shaky throughout your body.

“Okay.”

You crawled slowly, oh so slowly from your bag to his. He tried to scoot to one side, to make room. He unzipped the bag just a little bit, enough for you to crawl in next to him before he zipped it back up. There wasn’t enough room for you to lay comfortably next to him. Your body was on his just a bit, head by his chest and your arms pressed tightly to your side. You felt frozen with excitement and nerves. This was as close to a boy as you’d ever been. 

The silence seemed to go on forever, but it was just a few seconds. Naruto’s arm had been pressed motionless to his sides, but slowly he felt them thaw before wrapping around your body, pressing you to him. 

“You can like, hug me, ya know? Or put your arms on me or something. Just to be more comfortable.”

You nodded, your throat dry as you tried to swallow. You unlatched your arms from your body, a hand going up to rest on his chest. It only took a moment or two to get comfortable, to feel like your body fit perfectly into his. Falling asleep in Naruto’s arms, that was the most comfortable you’d ever slept.

The next morning, there wasn’t an awkwardness. It was something else, something sweeter, shyer. The string pulled your fingers closer, and though your hand didn’t touch his, neither did it pull away. You’d never felt so giddy in your life.

If only you knew what it meant to Naruto.

Naruto couldn’t remember one time in his life that he had cuddled with another person. He was sure that he must’ve been held at least occasionally as a baby, but it wasn’t anything he could remember. No one hugged him as he grew, no one tucked him in at night or rocked him to sleep. Once, when he was four, Naruto had found a puppy that got away from its owner. Naruto scooped the small animal up, holding him in his arms. The puppy had licked him affectionately, and Naruto was embarrassed by the fact that the small action had brought him to tears. Iruka’s hand on his head was the first affectionate touch he could remember from another person. He’d thought his heart would burst at that moment. It was nothing compared to what he’d felt getting to hold you while he slept. 

He’d heard people say that hugging could lower stress, elevate your mood, even help prevent you from getting sick. He’d never understood it. Naruto had occasionally hugged Sakura and gotten affectionate touches from his sensei as he got older, but sleeping with you was different.

He understood now what the experts meant when they spoke about the benefits of hugging. He could comprehend why romantic relationships were so important to people if they got to touch their partner every day. Cuddling with you that night had Naruto’s head reeling, high off an emotion he didn’t even have a name for. He’d never felt so close to another person, so connected. How had he survived sixteen years without this? How had he survived those two and a half years training without you?

It was a mix of emotions as your head hit your pillow that night. You were relieved to have been able to take a shower. A home cooked meal never tasted so good as it did after a mission where you survived off dried meats. The softness of your mattress definitely beat the cold hard ground. But, you realized, you would gladly spend a lifetime sleeping on the floor of the woods if you got to sleep by Naruto’s side.

It was too scary to think about these new feelings. You knew what it was now, that you didn’t just see Naruto as your best friend. You liked Naruto. Maybe even more than liked him. You didn’t know how this could have happened. How could you ever face him again? If he knew how you felt, your friendship would be ruined.

You had resolved to avoid him for the foreseeable future so that you could wait out the feelings. Maybe if you had some time apart, the feelings would go away, and nothing would have to change between the two of you.

Your eyes had finally started to flutter closed with exhaustion when you heard tapping on your window, startling you. Sitting up, you looked uncertainly towards the window before finally getting up and going to inspect the noise. Naruto’s face peering back at you from the other side was the last thing you expected to see.

Opening the window as quietly as you could, you willed the butterflies in your stomach to quell. “Naruto, what are you doing here?” You whispered, glancing back towards your bedroom door, sure that your parents would burst through at any moment.

Naruto looked sheepishly back at you, a bashful grin on his face. “Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked. Rolling your eyes, you did your best to bite back the giddy smile playing on your own lips.

“Yes, Naruto. I’m trying to sleep. What are you doing here?” You asked him again. Instead of answering, Naruto began climbing through your window, making a little too much noise. You shushed him with a stifled giggle as he fell to the floor. “You’re going to wake my parents,” You told him, trying to look stern. Naruto hopped back up to his feet looking at you embarrassedly. 

“I couldn’t sleep…” He admitted, his eyes flickering from yours back to the floor. “I was wondering… Do you think I could sleep here tonight?”

The question hung between the two of you, innocent and unassuming. It wasn’t that weird, the two of you were thinking. You shared a tent on missions; was it that different sharing a bed?

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, feeling breathless. Naruto was in his pajamas too, you realized, decked in a white t shirt and orange sweats. You turned from him, walking slowly to your bed, doing your best not to make any noise. “You have to leave before my parents are up, okay?” You whispered as you climbed back into your bed.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically, following after you. “I will, believe it!” He said a little too loudly for someone that wasn’t supposed to be there. You shot him a look, though you couldn’t help but smile.

Climbing into the bed after you, Naruto got comfortable under the covers, and the two of you laid next to each other silently. Staring at the ceiling, you wondered if Naruto could hear the sound of your heartbeat as it rang in your ears. This was fine. This was normal for two best friends.

You weren’t sure how long you laid there, more awake than you had been before. You closed your eyes, doing your best to get some rest and failing miserably. You were too aware of Naruto’s presence beside you. He seemed to have fallen asleep long ago if his rhythmic breathing was anything to go by.

And then, suddenly, you felt him rolling over. His hand reached out in the darkness, finding you and pulling you flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, holding you to him before his body went still again. You froze, looking up at his face. Was he awake? Had he meant to do that? It was impossible to tell with his eyes screwed shut. 

You felt alive, truly alive, for the first time in your life. Nothing had ever felt so right.

The next morning, as promised, Naruto was back out the window before your parents woke up. The two of you had stayed in that position all night, and when Naruto began to shift awake, he looked at you with a shy, lopsided smile. All he said was a quiet “good morning” before he was sneaking out.

And there was no way to hide now that things had definitely changed. It was unspoken, but you both knew it. Neither of you knew what to say about it, didn’t know if you even should say anything about it. It wasn’t bad. It was good, better than good, but so new and unexplored for the both of you that you didn’t know how to approach the subject, so you said nothing about it. 

It became a regular occurrence for Naruto to climb through your window every night to sleep in your bed. Each time he did, it became easier for Naruto to pull you into him as he fell asleep, and every morning when he left, you wondered how you had ever slept without Naruto’s arms around you.

All of your friends noticed the change between you and Naruto too, though no one said anything. They all exchanged curious glances with each other, seeing how easily Naruto touched you now and the way the two of you looked at each other just a little bit longer than you used to. But no one knew about your and Naruto’s extended sleepover, and so they all whispered among themselves, but said nothing about it to your faces.

When your parents decided to move back to the village that you had been born in, they gave you the option to stay in the leaf. You were only sixteen, but you were a ninja afterall. You were more than capable of making your own choices and taking care of yourself.

And of course you stayed. This was where your life was, where your friends were. Even more importantly, this was where Naruto was. 

So when you told him your predicament, that you needed to find a new place to stay, he didn’t hesitate in offering to stay with him. You were sitting at his kitchen table when he said it, and he immediately began pushing things around the small apartment. “You see? We can put your bed here, and can move this over here…” He motioned to the space he had created. “It may be a little cramped, but at least until you can find something else?”

Of course your friends teased the two of you about your new living arrangements. Never when you were together. Everyone was insistent, desperate to be the one that got one of you to cave and admit your feelings for each other. For your part, you just smiled and said, “He’s my best friend.”

And that flew for a while. The same people that had been sure you and Naruto were meant to be began to wonder if they had it wrong all along, began to wonder if you and Naruto truly were just friends.

They didn’t know that you never got around to getting your own bed at Naruto’s house. That first night, you just shared his bed because you’d been doing it for so long. The same thing happened the next night, and the night after that, and the thought of getting a separate bed just didn’t seem that important. And anyways, you’d gotten used to sleeping by Naruto’s side. Naruto knew that if you got your own bed, he would just climb into yours every night.

You were only sixteen, but Naruto wanted nothing more than to spend every night by your side. He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he’d ever been so happy. There was so much on his mind all the time, the oncoming war, getting Sasuke back. And even with the chaos surrounding him, Naruto was at peace because of you. He had a confidence that everything would work out okay. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which it wouldn’t.

It was the first time that Sakura and Ino had stopped by since you’d moved in that it was pointed out how unconventional your arrangement was. Sure, you both knew it wasn’t exactly normal, but it worked for the two of you. You didn’t see any harm in it.

Naruto was away on a mission when the girls had stopped by, needing to borrow something. When you let them in, they excitedly looked around the small studio apartment, wanting to see if and how you had changed Naruto’s place.

“Uh, where’s the other bed?” Sakura asked as you closed a cupboard, pulling out the tupperware they needed. 

“Hm?” You asked, placing it on the table. “Oh, I haven’t gotten one yet. We usually just share.” You said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You’d shared your bed with Naruto so long, it no longer embarrassed you. You’d just never had a reason to mention it.

Sakura and Ino’s jaws dropped. They looked from you to each other, wondering if you were serious. You picked up on their shock, looking back at them sheepishly. “What?” You mumbled, feeling your face heating up.

“Are you guys, like, dating?” Ino placed her hand on her hip, looking at you expectedly. You shook your head. 

“No, of course not. He’s my best friend! I just haven’t gotten my own bed yet. It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal!?” Sakura exclaimed. “It’s a huge deal! You guys live together, share a bed together… you’re practically married!”

Ino nodded in agreement. “Sakura’s right. That’s a weird thing for two ‘best friends’ to be doing. It’s not normal.”

Sakura and Ino’s words rang through your head all day after they’d gone. Was it that weird? Sure, the whole thing had been nerve wracking at first, but now it was just part of your dynamic like everything else was. Of course you still harbored your feelings for Naruto, but you’d pushed them deep down, pretending they weren’t there in a bid to save your and Naruto’s friendship.

You were already in bed when he got back from his mission that night. He threw open the door, dropping his bag and sighing loudly. “Are you awake?” He called as he made his way to the bathroom.

“I am now,” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you heard the shower start. You yawned, your body tired despite how awake your mind was. It was a while longer before Naruto was finally ready to settle in for the night.

With a loud yawn, he dropped down on the bed beside you, stretching. “I missed this,” he said, turning over as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. He reached for you instinctively, a happy sigh leaving his lips as you cuddled into his chest.

But Naruto knew you better than anyone, and he could tell something was on your mind. “Everything okay?” He murmured against your hair, moments from falling asleep.

“Is this weird?” You asked him timidly, afraid to hear his answer. 

Naruto froze for a moment before pulling away slightly, just enough so he could look down at you. “Is what weird?” He asked back slowly.

You shrugged. “Sakura and Ino stopped by today. They saw we share a bed and… I don’t know. They said it wasn’t normal.” You were afraid to voice the thought, but you couldn’t help it. The seed had been planted, and it wouldn’t stop growing.

But Naruto just rolled his eyes in response. “You’re gonna listen to them?” He asked with a small laugh. “What do they know about normal?”

“They said it was only normal for people that were, like, in a relationship. Not people that were just friends…”

Naruto was quiet, and you could tell he was mulling over the information, no doubt wondering--much like you were--if they had a point. He pulled away even more, and you could see in the moonlight that he was blushing. “Are we just friends?”

The words hit you like a freight train, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. You weren’t ready for this conversation. Things had been going so well, you’d been so happy and comfortable. You weren’t ready for things between you and Naruto to change, not yet. But now you didn’t have a choice.

“Do you want to be?” You whispered back.

The silence lingered, heavy and suffocating. You felt ready to cry. You loved Naruto. You didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer, but you didn’t want to lose him either. If he didn’t feel the same way… You didn’t know what you’d do. You couldn’t think of anything any more devastating.

Reluctantly, you brought your eyes up to meet Naruto’s brilliant blue ones. They were staring earnestly into yours, searching for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. Slowly, shakily, he brought his hand up to your face, brushing your hair back. His touch was soft, barely there, and it sent shivers up your spine. 

Finally, he leaned in to you, bringing his lips to brush against yours in a sweet, shy kiss. The motion was unsure, nervous. He’d been dying to do that for months now, and he had no idea how you would react.

Naruto’s kiss sent your head reeling. You’d always thought that kissing Naruto would send your heart racing, but instead it slowed, calming every nerve in your body.

When Naruto pulled away, he was wearing a grin that matched yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He told you, stroking your cheek. You could only smile in response, pulling him in to kiss you once more

Naruto had gone his whole life touch starved and alone. Affection was so scarce, he hadn’t even known what he was missing. 

Sharing a bed, sleeping next to you, kissing you goodnight. It wasn’t scary or unsure.

It felt like coming home. 

[walkerwords]

“To Feel Better” Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

Request from Anonymous: for your requests i saw a prompt where it was person A finding excuses to hold person B's hand such as my hands are cold will you warm them for me I think that would be cute with Daryl. 

Word Count: 1859

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “Cardigan” by Taylor Swift

Note: I love fluff requests yall! This one is set during the time our survivors are looking for shelter after the fall of the farm!

---------

When the farm fell, nobody knew what they were doing. 

Herschel and Rick were doing their best to keep some sort of order within the group, but they could only do so much once the cold set in and the food became more scarce. Then after losing some people during the invasion of Walkers and Shane’s attempt at a coup, pieces felt as if they were being broken off.

Andrea had been someone who you trusted wholeheartedly. You had been with her and her sister, Amy, since the beginning. Andrea had protected you both, but in the end it had been Amy who befell the fate of the new world. Her death still followed you around and you knew that it had haunted her sister for a while as well. If anything, it had made Andrea harder and more resilient. Still, she kept her eyes on you and you knew that if it came down to it, you would protect her with everything you had. That remained true until you saw her go down on the farm and never saw her reemerge from the horde as Daryl pulled you on to the back of his bike and took off down the dirt path. 

Now it was only a matter of time before someone else was lost. With the larger herds moving North all the time, the group had to keep moving and there wasn’t any time to rest for more than a couple of days. With Lori being pregnant, it was definitely causing more issues. You were exhausted, Shane was dead, Rick was keeping something a secret, and Carl was growing up before your eyes. It was too much, too fast. 

Winter was coming and going, the weather never staying the same in the South. You had been used to that your entire life, but without constant shelter or warm meals, every time the temperature dropped even a fraction, stress levels skyrocketed within the group and it was starting to get to you. Daryl, someone you had grown closer to since the farm, had tried to keep your spirits up the best he could, but there was only so much he could do. 

It was late one night when you found yourself alone on watch. Rick and Maggie had found a house that was far enough from the road with working locks and insulated enough to offer warmth. Nobody dared light a fire in case the Living decided to poke around, but it was better than sleeping in another field with one eye open. 

You were rubbing a stray bullet between your fingers as you saw on a bench just in front of the house when Daryl approached, the gun that housed said bullet was in your other hand. “I got watch,” he said, taking a seat next to you. 

“I’m fine,” you said, keeping your eyes on the dark wall of trees before you. 

“Ya need sleep,” he argued, but you remained still.

“I said, I’m fine,” you repeated. 

“Ya, that’s what ya always say,” he said. It was silent then as he sat next to you. Daryl knew when not to push you and this was definitely one of those times. If there was one person who could sit in complete silence and say more with just their body language it was you and Daryl appreciated that after hours of constant noise from the rest of the group. 

It was after a while that Daryl finally realized what you kept playing with in your hand. He recognized it as a gun that was once shoved in his face when he had first arrived at the quarry with Merle. “That Walsh’s gun?” he asked, nodding his head toward the pistol. You nodded, turning over the weapon in your hand. He wasn’t sure where you had found it, but he could tell that you had cleaned it up. “You thinkin’ about him?” 

“I don’t know what happened,” you finally said. “He was so strong…”

“Even the most level-headed people can get corrupted by this world,” Daryl said and you thought it was one of the most profound things he had ever said. Then again, you figured that Daryl was incredibly bright and he just didn’t let people see that side of him. 

“I thought he’d be one of the last people standing,” you admitted. 

“Didn’t realize you were that close,” Daryl said with a frown. 

“He saved my life,” you said with a shrug, remembering back to all the times Shane had pulled a Walker off of you when you were distracted. “He always looked out for Amy, too. Look, he wasn’t a great man, I know that, but I owed him enough. I was hoping he’d make it at least a few more years.”

“I get that,” Daryl said with a sigh, running a hand through his messy hair. You had noticed that it was getting longer, especially on the sides. 

“Sorry,” you said, “I know you hated him.” 

“I didn’t trust him,” Daryl clarified. 

“Fair enough.” 

You sat back into silence then. Your ears were scanning for the familiar groans of the Dead or the subtle footprints of the Living, but so far, nothing had approached the newest nest for the group. You were definitely missing the RV on the more treacherous nights.

Daryl was quiet before he looked over at you. You could see his face out of the corner of your eye, but you tried your hardest to ignore him. You knew Daryl had been looking out for you for a while. Or rather he had been watching you and you knew he was worried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take any extra steps towards him. No matter how much you wanted it. 

“You know,” you began, breaking the silence, “I wanted to study old bones and all that.” 

“So, an anthropologist?” Daryl said. You looked over at him with shock on your face and he clocked it immediately. “What, I watched the History Channel,” he defended, causing you to laugh. 

“Yeah, Daryl, just like that,” you said. “I wanted to know how humanity began, but I’m only seeing what we’ve become,” you said as you stared at a Walker corpse that Maggie had downed a few hours before. 

Your hand began to twitch then, a nervous habit you had developed as a teenager. It always exposed everything that you were too afraid to say. There was something about the way your body always knew what was wrong before your mind did. You figured it was something to do with the survival instincts that had kicked in the night they dropped fire on Atlanta and other major cities. 

Daryl noticed your hand instantly. “You’re doing it again,” he said quietly. 

“Nervous habit,” you said, clenching your fist, trying to quiet your nerves. “It used to drive my mom crazy.”

“You don’t talk about her anymore,” Daryl noticed. Turning to look at him, you furrowed your brow. “It’s just, ya used to talk about her at the quarry with Amy and Andrea a lot,” he said with a shrug. 

“Guess I haven’t been in the mood to be sentimental lately,” you said. 

“I get that,” he said as he continued to watch the slight tremor in your palms. “My mom died before all this,” he said  and you were surprised to hear him say anything about his family. Besides Merle, Daryl never mentioned anything about his past. At least, not to you. 

“I’m sorry,” you said. 

“I’m just glad ya know, that she didn’t have to see all this shit,” he said and you knew what he was talking about. In an odd way, anyone who had died before the outbreak lucked out. Nobody deserved to see the new horrors of the world and nobody deserved to be fighting tooth and nail just to survive. Lifting your head to the sky, you watched as a single star shot across the darkness before it disappeared again in the plethora of stars and scattered moonlight. 

“Odd, isn’t it?” you asked. 

“What?” 

“That because the world is dark, we finally see the stars. Living in cities always hid them,” you said with a sigh. 

“Yeah,” Daryl said, following your gaze. 

“ ‘Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars’,” you quoted with ease.

“Tolkien, huh?” Daryl said, recognizing the words. 

“Look at you,” you teased and Daryl rolled his eyes. 

“I read,” Daryl defended and you raised your hands in surrender. The movement then sparked something in Daryl as he caught your hand in his and held it gently. Your hands stilled from the warmth and firm grip of the archer’s hands. You were sitting in silence as he began to rub his thumbs along the nerves and muscles in your hands. 

Daryl was silent as he caressed your hand, taking his time to soothe your anxieties away. “You are gonna be okay,” he whispered, his focus on his task. 

“How do you know?” you whispered back. 

“Because ya ain’t one to let this world beat ya,” Daryl said simply. You took a minute for that to sink in and you knew that he was right. If anything, you were not going to give up so that the dying world took you with it. You knew that death was inevitable, but you also knew that you had come too far already to start to give up now. “Do you know the story of the man who fought off three bears and lived?” Daryl asked suddenly. 

Looking over at him, you raised your brows. “What?” Daryl nodded. 

“Yeah, the crazy son of a bitch jumped into a bear enclosure at a zoo to test if he could survive the worst possible thing,” he said. “Fought them all off with his hands and a tree branch. Nobody thought a person could do that and he did. Only came out of there with a broken hand.” 

“Is there a moral to this story?” you asked. Daryl turned your hand over in his, tracing the lines on your palm. 

“Don’t try to fight bears unless you’re high on pretty hardcore shit because he had to have been, right?” Daryl said easily and you couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of your chest. Daryl gave you a smile then and you realized what he was doing. 

“Was that story even true?” you asked. 

“Nah,” Daryl said. “Does it matter, though?” 

“Not at all,” you whispered, wrapping your other hand around the joined ones between you. Moving closer to him, you leaned into him, feeling his body heat. “Thanks.” 

Daryl gently lifted your hand to his face and pressed a kiss to the back of it in a very rare act of tenderness. His lips lingered on your skin for just a second before relaxing further into you.

“Anytime,” he murmured as you sank into comfortable silence and watched for the enemy that was sure enough to break through your newfound bubble of peace. However, you knew that when that happened, the man by your side would be the one to jump into the fray and wrestle with a few bears of his own. 

TAGS: @thanossexual​ @felicisimor​ @moonstuffsteve​ @lucillethings​ @stark-dreams​ 

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

What in Carnation? ~ Bucky x Reader College!AU Oneshot

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day, lovelies! Whether your single or in a relationship I wish you a very happy day filled with all sorts of love. 

Summary: The swim team is holding a flowergram fundraiser for Valentine’s day, and you have a secret admirer. 

Characters/Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, fluff 

Word count: 1763 

Divider by @whimsicalrogers​ 

“Please, please, please!” Wanda begged as she tugged on your arm, guiding you away from the library that you really needed to get to.

“Didn’t I already participate in your fundraiser? I’m pretty sure we have like a box and a half of candy bars that I bought,” you teased.

“That was last semester’s fundraiser. This is a new semester.”

“I gathered. Alright fine. What is it this time?”

“Valentine’s Day flower-grams.”

“Excuse me?”

“You order flowers for people and we deliver them to their dorms for Valentine’s Day,” Wanda explained as she moved around to the other side of the sign up table.

“And who exactly am I sending flowers to. I don’t have a Valentine,” you reminded her.

“I’ll be your Valentine, Y/n,” Pietro offered with a wink.

“Thanks, Piet. But I think a certain computer genius would be awfully upset,” you grinned at him.

His cheeks turned pink at the mention of his crush, Skye, and you couldn’t help but giggle at him.

“It doesn’t have to just be for a valentine. Lots of people are sending them to friends or roommates.”

“You angling for some flowers, Maximoff?”

She shrugged, grinning at you. 

“Maybe. But seriously you can send them to anybody. Just one or two. Pleeeease.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes.

“Alright. Alright. Since it’s for such a good cause.”

“The swim team thanks you, doll.”

 Your eyes widened at the voice, and the Maximoff twins held back laughter at your stunned look.

“Oh hey, Bucky.” You turned and greeted him, fiddling with your pen.  

“Hey. How’s it going?”

“Oh you know. The usual. Midterms are kicking my butt. How about you?”

“Pretty much the same. I’m looking forward to the break in a couple of weeks.”

“Do you have any plans?”

“Not really. Probably just binge watching something on Netflix.”

“Sounds ideal. I’ll probably do the same.”

“Nice.”

He trailed off, straightening out the pile of order forms.  

You weren’t sure what else to say, so you started filling out the tags Wanda had slid towards you, relieved when Bucky was distracted by another customer. You sent Wanda and Nat a few each, and one each to Pietro and Thor– all white carnations for friendship.

You were going to just give Wanda a twenty, so you had two flowers left to go. You hesitated, nibbling your bottom lip before sneaking a peek at Bucky. You had had a crush on the swim team captain for a while, but you’d never really worked up the courage to say anything.

In a brief moment of bravery (or insanity) you filled out one last tag and circled the red option on the order form. You handed them over to Wanda along with the twenty dollar bill. She grinned and gave you a thumbs up when she saw the top one.

“Thanks a million, Y/n.”

“You’re very welcome. Now can I go study?”

“Yes, you can. Did you want to grab dinner tonight?”

You shook your head. “I’m going to stay here until closing probably. I’ll see you back in the room.”

“Okay. But at least go get some snacks before you go in there.”

“I’m all stocked up. I’m good.”

“Good. I’ll see you later.”

“See ya. Bye, Piet. Bye, Bucky.”

You waved and hurried away to claim your carrel for the night.

The next two weeks flew by as papers and exams took over your life. But before you knew it, you had successfully navigated the midterms season of your final semester of college. You were in good spirits, and even the prospect of being single on Valentine’s Day couldn’t dampen them.

You picked up a bottle of sparkling wine, a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and a bag of mini donuts on your way home from class. You were looking forward to taking a long hot shower and settling in for a date with your neglected Netflix account for the rest of the weekend, and possibly your entire week off.

The last thing you were expecting was a doormat full of red carnations.

Vision really went all out.

You scooped up the bunches of flowers and unlocked the door. Inside, you set everything down on your desk before putting the ice cream and alcohol away.

They can wait until after a shower. You decided after eyeing the flowers.

You took your time in the shower, letting the hot water wash away the stress and anxiety from the last two weeks.

Your roommate was sitting on her bed typing when you stepped out of the bathroom.

“Hey, Wanda.”  

“Oh hey, Y/n. How’d your exam go?”

“Pretty well I think. I felt like I knew everything they covered, but we’ll see. But it’s over with so I’m not going to worry about it.”

“That’s a good attitude.”

“You know, you’ve got a really supportive boyfriend,” you remarked as you sat down at your desk.

“What makes you say that?” she asked, cocking her head at you.

“I mean he bought all those carnations for the fundraiser.”

You gestured to the pile of carnations.

“Viz didn’t buy those. They’re for you.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I took mine.” She pointed to the small bouquet occupying an old cookie tin.

You quickly sorted through the predominantly red bundle. The few white ones were from your friends – Wanda, Nat, Pietro, and Thor. But what you hadn’t realized was that the remaining red ones – all two dozen of them - were bound together.

You flipped over the tag attached and read it to yourself.

To: Y/n

Happy Valentine’s Day!

These carnations aren’t nearly as beautiful as you, but I hope they make you smile anyways.

I couldn’t quite find the words in person, but I’d really like to take you out.

If you’re up for it, meet me in front of the fountain at 8:00.

-          Your Secret Admirer

“Who are they from?” she asked with a knowing smile.

“It just says a secret admirer. This has to be a prank,” you frowned.  

“Why would it be a prank?”

“I mean, who would have a crush on me. Brock or someone is probably trying to get me there and then I’m going to end up on youtube, Loser Gets Stood Up on Valentine’s Day. It’ll be ten minutes of jump cuts of  me standing alone set to Wii music.”

“That’s a tad cynical don’t you think? Besides I have it on good authority that they’re really from someone with a crush on you.”

“Whose authority?”

“Mine. He bought them from me.”

“Who is it?”

Wanda shook her head.

“Can’t tell you. Flower gram seller/buyer confidentiality.”

“Not a thing,” you grumbled. 

“Y/n, trust me. This isn’t a prank. And you’ll be glad you went. I promise.”

“Okay. I trust you.”

And you did. She would never lie to you or set you up to be embarrassed.

“So what do I do?”

“Put on your prettiest dress and meet your Prince Charming, naturally.”

You glanced at the clock. It was nearly seven.

“Will you help me?”

“Of course.”

In a surprisingly short amount of time, Wanda had helped you pick out a dress and shoes and helped you with your makeup. At 7:55 you found yourself walking across campus towards the fountain in the quad. You hugged your black and white peacoat more tightly around you, grateful for the headband you’d grabbed on your way out the door and the black tights you’d decided to wear.

 You hesitated a few yards away from the back of the fountain. There were a few people milling about and you were trying to see if you could recognize anyone. You caught sight of someone dressed in all black in front of the fountain, holding a bouquet of red roses and checking their watch but you couldn’t quite make out who it was.

Taking a deep breath, you walked closer gasping when you saw their face.

Bucky?

You nearly turned tail and ran, but he turned and spotted you. The smile that bloomed on his face quelled your nerves and before you knew it your feet had carried you to him.

“You came.”

“I came.”

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look very handsome.”

He extended the flowers to you.

“These are for you.”

“They’re beautiful, Bucky. You really didn’t have to. The carnations were more than enough.”

“I know but red roses are your favorite.”

You cocked your head, surprised by the matter of fact statement.

“You mentioned it once when we were all watching a movie.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I remember lots of things about you, doll. Shall we get going?” he asked offering you his elbow.

“We shall.” You slipped your arm through his. “What is on the itinerary?”

“Dinner at the Hub. And then I thought we could see a movie.”  

“Sounds perfect.”

Dinner was delicious and you loved how easy it was to talk to Bucky. You’d never hung out one on one before, but he was quick witted and smart and the few silences you had were companionable. You took an Uber to the movies, but decided to walk home afterwards.  

Warmth spread through you when he grabbed your hand.

“Did you know that it was me?”

You shook your head, smiling shyly. “No. But I hoped.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I’ve kind of had a crush on you for a while,” you admitted.  

“I’ve had a crush on you for a while too. The team knew and kept trying to get me to say something but I thought you were out of my league. But then I saw you’d sent me carnations and I got my hopes up.”

“Isn’t it lucky you guys held a flowergram fundraiser.”

“Yeah, lucky.” Bucky’s cheeks tinged even pinker in the cold.

 You smirked and cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Whose idea was the fundraiser, Bucky?”

“You know I don’t really remember.” 

“Bucky,” you drawled his name. 

“Alright, mine. I figured even if you didn’t like me. I’d get to give you flowers, and you absolutely deserve flowers.”

“You’re too sweet, you know. And I’m very flattered you planned a whole fundraiser around me.”

“A very successful fundraiser,” he pointed out, taking a step closer to you.

“I bet.”

You grinned up at him.

“Can I kiss you, doll?”

You nodded eagerly. His lips were soft as they pressed against yours and your fingers clutched at the lapels of his jacket.

“Happy Valentine’s, Bucky,” you whispered against his lips.

“Happy Valentine’s, Doll,” he whispered back before kissing you.

And it was. 

 A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! 

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[simpingforsoftboys]

Too Little Too Late

ft. IwaOi

G/N reader

TW: Neglect, manipulation, toxicity in general, swearing

Read this first

tysm for the request anon! It’s about time Y/n stood up for themselves don’t you think? That’s the thing about relationships like these. It’s so hard to get out of them once you’re in deep- even if you can see every single red flag clear as day.

Also I’ve decided that since these are lengthy- there will be separate parts for Kuroken, SakuAtsu, and OsaSuna in the future.

 This one is something I actually turned into a two shot: part one and part two. So same plot line, just goes more in depth on the “break up” part.

This was it, you were finally going to do it. After two decades of following your soon to be ex boyfriends around, it was time for you to step out of their shadow- into the limelight of independency. Still, you felt like a coward- leaving them while neither were even in the country. It was petty perhaps, but deep down within your heart- the vindictive, evil, and cruel part of you whispered that this was what they deserved. You were nearly finished packing- two suitcases stuffed to the max with your clothing and any small, expensive purchase you bought for yourself. Now all you needed to do was shove anything else that could fit into your duffel bag. 

This wasn’t a new idea. Leaving them that is. In fact, you’d been thinking about it for years already. Honestly, you doubted you’d have even begun noticing just how unbalanced your current dynamic with your two “lovers” was, until a stranger- turned friend had pointed it out. 

His name had been Miya Atsumu- he had gone to Tokyo University just like you and was the starting setter for their volleyball team. He was flirty at first, acting like a stereotypical frat boy. Despite telling him you had not one- but two partners- he hadn’t left you alone at that fateful party. 

“Wait... yer datin’ that newbie setter from Argentina? AND Iwaizumi... the one who’s boutta transfer over to that American university?” Atsumu questioned incredulously, nearly doing a spit take, he leans over your figure and places his red solo cup down on the counter behind you. 

“Yeah... I know it’s not a normal relationship-” You begin, already used to defending you and your lovers. 

“Nah, that’s not what I’m sayin’ darlin.” The blonde replies, his words make him seem as though he’s hitting on you but somehow there’s an undertone of genuine concern. “Neither of em have even spared ya a glance since ya got here! Seems like they’re the ones in love- not the three of ya.”

You had frowned at his words, shaking them off easily. The three of you were in love, besides, no stranger could have deduced that at first glance- if anything he was just trying to meddle in your happy relationship... so why did his words continue to plague you that night, and for many nights after that? 

Looking back on it now, you should have listened to Atsumu sooner. 

You had countless discussions with Hajime and Toru after the night of the party. They had seemed genuinely sorry and made an effort to be more inclusive. However, they slowly fell back into old habits- time and time again- as if they had forgotten the promises they had made. 

There would be no more discussions, no more nights staying up, waiting for them to come back home from their date. 

There would be no more of the three of you- just Hajime and Toru. 

That thought prevented you from picking up the framed photo on your bedside- the one of you three. It had been taken at a children’s festival that the three of you had taken Takeru too. It was probably the last photo where you had been so blinded by your love for them that you completely glossed over the fact that the only people they were looking at were each other. 

“Y/n... what are you doing?” A raspy voice called from the bedroom’s doorway, startling you from your memories. Body shaking, you turned around to face the owner of the voice. “We came home early to surprise you... only to find you packing your bags?” 

The same two people that you didn’t want to see stood before you. Both toted suitcases and smelt like the airport. You couldn’t find it within yourself to look them in the eyes, fearing that if you did you’d lose your strength, turn around, and begin unpacking.

“Y/n... prince(ss), what’s going on? Talk to us.” Toru whispered, speaking to you as if you were a cornered animal. That analogy wasn’t wrong per say but it did nothing to help you calm your nerves. 

You knew it shouldn’t have but for some reason his tone had made your heart skip a beat.

“Yeah babe, let’s put the bags down and take a seat... we can talk about this right after me and Toru shower.” Hajime agreed, his poor choice of words stirring anger within your soul- intense and smoldering like Zeus’s lightning bolts.

“No!” You cry, tears of pent up anger, hurt, and every other negative repressed emotion, begins to well up in your eyes. “I’m going to say this one last time- then I’m going to leave. We won’t talk. I’m not going to... to wait until you finish showering. I’m sick and tired of this- this absolute fucking BULLSHIT!” 

They stare at you wide eyed, not quite knowing how to respond. You don’t even give them the chance to think about how to do so- instead you opt to continue your rant. 

“I love you two so damn much. So, so much- to the point that it hurts me.” Your gaze flickered between the two of them. “Loving you... it breaks my heart. I can’t do it anymore Toru, Hajime. I wanted too- God knows I do. But I can’t keep doing this-”

Toru lets his carry on drop to the floor and races over, attempting to embrace you in a hug. Every bone, every fiber, literally every part of you is begging you to stay trapped in his arms. He’s warm and he’s here. It’s all you’ve ever wanted. 

Too little too late.

You shove him off, biting back sobs. Hajime hurries behind him, catching the taller male as he falls. 

“Y/n calm down what’s going on? What did we do?” Olive green eyes flit over to meet yours, they’re just as lovely as they have always been. But you notice that they’re also cold, like jade bracelets and old watered down matcha tea. 

“It’s what you didn’t do Haji.” You say and they can see the heart ache on your face. “I love you but you don’t love me- not as much as I love you at least.” Both of them look like they want to argue but you shake your head- effectively silencing them. The picture on the night stand stares back at you tauntingly- ignorance was indeed bliss it seems. Grasping it lightly you place it on the ground and kicked it gently, letting it slide over to where Toru and Hajime are still seated on the ground. The brunette takes it in his hands and examines it. 

“This was when we took Takeru to the children’s festival!” 

“Yeah... we were so happy then... where did that go wrong Y/n? When did you stop smiling like this?” Hajime whispers. 

“I stopped smiling like that when I realized the truth- about us.” They watch as you take a deep breath, composing yourself. “It took me a long while, but I’ve been coming to terms with it.” A choked gasp escapes your lips, leading you to quickly spill the rest of your well kept insecurities. “This... this thing we have going on- it’s a toxic, endless cycle. There’s no us- it’s just Hajime and Toru plus Y/n.”

Toru’s expression morphs from empathetic to down right murderous. He’s offended that you would dare imply something like that. Deep down, you’re sure he knows you’re actually right, and he’s just acting like that to save his pride. A pang of shame hits you- when had you begun thinking mean thoughts like that?

“How could you say that?” He spits, tone devoid of sweetness, now replaced with lethal venom. “Everything we do is for you. We give you money, this nice home, space, time- our love. And you have the fucking gall to say we’re ostracizing you from our relationship? What the hell are you thinking Y/n?” 

You’ve never seen him this angry- not in all the years you’ve known the setter. It sorta terrifies you. Hajime doesn’t bother to reprimand Toru for his tone like usual, instead he looks like he agrees with him. 

“He’s right Y/n, everything we do is for you. Are you mad because we didn’t take you to a wedding? Guess what- that’s just business. Stop being so damn jealous for no reason. You can’t be selfish in our sort of relationship. Didn’t you know that in the first place?” 

They don’t- won’t see things from your point of view. Honestly, what were you even expecting.

“When have I EVER been selfish? I cook, clean, and practically orbit around the two of you. I’m not mad just because of a FUCKING WEDDING! I’m upset- and hurt because you can’t ever see from my eyes. Don’t think I haven’t seen the differences between the looks you give me verses each other. The date nights you forget to include me in- the stolen kisses in the morning you give each other without even thinking about me. Even when I try to initiate something I’m ‘too clingy’ or you’re ‘too busy.’ FUCK THAT. I deserve better. So I think I deserve to be selfish just this once- because this is something I need to do for me. Not for you.” 

They’re stunned, unable to speak. So they say nothing at all, watching you zip up your duffel bag and single handedly take all your baggage out into the living room by yourself. Neither of them say anything when there’s a knock on the door and they can hear your best friend enter their home and help you take your stuff down to their car. 

There’s nothing they can do. So they go to bed without showering, thinking about the things you said and reflecting. You made it quite clear to them. It’s over- the three of you.

[lavaffair]

Just Admit It

Inukag Fluff Week Prompts: Touch and Pining

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33211216

Having a crush on someone can be wonderful, but also incredibly unfair. The hours spent daydreaming about the person who gives your stomach butterflies seem to be more fun than having the actual crush. Experiencing this vulnerable feeling because of a person is actually quite terrifying and painful. Most of the time, crushes lead to heartbreak and letting go of the person who never gave you a chance.

Being in love with a person can be extremely intense, almost obsessive, and beautiful if done right. When someone’s feelings reach this level, it begins to cut deeper beyond the surface, into dangerous and uncharted territory. Especially if the person you are in love with has absolutely no idea of your true feelings towards them.

For Kagome Higurashi, her feelings towards her best friend Inuyasha Taisho went way beyond a crush. She was in love with her best friend, so in love that it hurt her, and she was too afraid to ever tell him about them.

The risk of ruining her lifelong friendship of 16 years was too scary to think about. Kagome could never think of her life without Inuyasha, he was always there to annoy her, get her angry, protect her, and support her whenever and wherever. When he yelled at the bigger kids for making fun of her name when they were five, or afterward when she pushed someone away from him when they pulled on his ears, they made a pack to back each other up. The friendship just blossomed after that.

Of course, they made more friends along the way, which included Sango and Miroku; whom they met in middle school, but their friendship never changed. They knew each other better than anyone else, and they have had the uncomfortable and awkward conversations that come up between teenagers, and so they have seen it all.

They have been there for each other when their hearts have been broken, when they had fights with others, and when they have personal issues. The bond between them was so strong that even the idea of it breaking caused Kagome a ton of stress. She could not do it and would not do it. At the end of the day, they will be in each other’s friend zone and they will die in the friend zone.

She was convinced that Inuyasha had zero feelings for her. He has seen her at her worst, and probably only looks at her like a sister. There was no way he could feel anything more for her.

This is why seeing him flustered and awkward about having to share a bed together did not raise any suspicions. It was obvious he was just a bit uncomfortable with the situation since it has been years since they have shared a bed with each other. They are both in their early twenties now, and sharing a bed was very intimate at this age compared to at 13.

“Yash, I could go downstairs right now and ask for another room. You look like you’re going to have a heart attack.” Kagome grinned at him, trying her best to suppress her shyness.

“Tch. We tried that already! That old hag wasn’t budgin’. This is the last time we let Miroku make hotel reservations.” He anxiously paced around the room.

“I can’t believe they don’t have any rooms with two beds. It���s not like it’s a special weekend or anything, it’s not even that busy this time of year.” She could not help but bite her bottom lip while watching him pace the room. His anxiety was getting to her.

“Well. We’re stuck here now, I tried all of my tricks but that lady wouldn't budge. We just gotta figure this out.”

He disappeared into the closet and pulled out an extra blanket provided by the hotel and placed it on the ground beside the huge bed. It was soft and fluffy enough to provide some comfort, but Kagome knew his back was going to hurt tomorrow and beyond that. They are staying at this hotel for the next few days, and until they can find a new room, they will have to make due.

“Inuyasha, we can just share the bed.” She tried speaking logic into him.

Inuyasha hoped she missed the way his body jolted at her offer because it was an intense one. Share a bed? With his best friend, whom he also harbored feelings for? Not a chance. Not when it was hard for him to even look at her without thinking about all the ways he could hold her.

He was down bad, he just refused to make it obvious. Instead, he played off his feelings for her by being extra rude sometimes. It helped mask his feelings and it was believable because he was naturally a huge jerk. Of course, he has gotten softer because of Kagome, but he turns it on when he needs it. Right now, he was too flustered to even pretend to act like a cocky bastard.

He and Kagome have not shared a bed since they were pre-teens, and that was before puberty kicked in. It took him a while to notice it at first, but when Inuyasha realized he had developed feelings for his best friend, he knew he had to shut it down immediately. He saw the changes she went through, and how she went from this annoying, loud, bossy little girl into this independent and beautiful woman. It was too much for him, and it happened overnight. He sucks at handling his feelings, he is not the best with women, and thus concludes him knowing he is not good for her.

Kagome deserved better, she deserved more than him. Some guy who can talk about his feelings and does not want to punch almost every frustrating person in the face. He was in love with her, so in love, he would sacrifice his chance of happiness just to see her happy with someone else. He will support her from the sidelines, like any good best friend, while his heart tears away at the idea of a love that did not get a chance.

Her friendship was enough for him. That is what he told himself every day.

“No.” He replied flatly. “You probably still kick in your sleep.”

“I do not kick!” He heard her shout.

He laughed, “Tell that to my legs. I think they’re still bruised.”

Of course, he did not miss the way she scoffed as she got the bed ready to sleep in. He could hear her breathing from across the room, her sweet, natural scent filling the space every time she moved around and it was intoxicating.

“Don’t be such a big baby!” She padded the pillows for extra fluff. “You’re a demon, my kicks don’t even hurt you.”

He poked his head out from the closet, looking for anything extra to put on his makeshift bed other than bath towels. “Half demon,” he corrected. “And yes they do.”

She blew out some air from her lungs and padded over towards him, her little feet tip-tapping on the carpet floor. “Inuyashaaaa,” she whined. “If I promise to not kick you, will you please sleep on the bed?”

He swallowed hard, his nerves getting the best of him as he cleared his throat. It took him a second to compose himself before exploding, and then he put on his best face. He raised an eyebrow at her, a smirk playing on his lips with a little fang poking out.

“So you admit that you do kick now. huh?”

Kagome rolled her eyes, immediately walking away from him with her arms crossed against her chest. “You’re impossible!”

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, he heard her zip and unzip her luggage and heave a sigh. “I’m going to change really quickly. I’ll be right back.”

He grunted in return and quickly changed into some sweats and a loose-fit tee shirt. His makeshift bed was as good as it was going to get, the fluffy comforter folded on the ground providing some back support. There were no more extra blankets, but Kagome always brought an extra for traveling, so he would just use hers to sleep in.

Little sounds were coming out from the bathroom and he knew she was doing her nightly routine of skincare and hair brushing. Out of all the women he has ever met, Kagome was the one always on top of her routines. He knew she had one in the morning and one at night, and the only reason why she was not taking her nightly shower was because of how tired she was after a long travel day.

The sound of clothes coming off and then rustling back on her skin was extremely distracting, so he decided to focus on the interesting floor lamp in the corner of the room. It had a rustic-colored body, with a cream-colored lampshade over the light bulb, and it was as boring as any other floor lamp in existence.

The door to the bathroom clicked open, and the sweet scent that was Kagome hit his nose instantly. It was never enough for him and he was so selfish he always wished for more. The citrusy scent mixed with vanilla was expected after she stayed in the bathroom for so long, but he did not expect his heart to skip a beat when he laid eyes on her in her pajamas. To anyone else, it would just be plain sleepwear, but seeing her in a pink tee-shirt and shorts set was driving him insane. There were little white stars decorating the entire ensemble, and Inuyasha could not believe Kagome could get any cuter.

“Nice PJs, what are you, five?” He teased, if only she knew he was dying inside.

She glared at him in return, “At least my pajamas are more fun. You’re in the same thing you always wear.”

“Kagome, you never see me when I’m going to bed.” He was trying really hard to stop himself from stuttering.

“You’re right, but I see you in the mornings when you’re a grump. You don’t change out of them unless you have somewhere to go.”

“I didn’t come here to get chastised for my taste in sweatpants, Kags.”

She giggled and it sent a jolt of electricity into his system. “That may be true, but when we get back home I’m buying you new pajamas. I’ll get some cute ones for you.”

The half-demon narrowed his amber eyes at her, “You’re gonna get matching onesies ain't ya?”

Shrugging her shoulders and shooting him a cheeky little smile, she skipped to her giant bed and left his question unanswered. Choosing to turn off the lights instead, and leaving the duo in the dark.

Cheeky wench he thought.

There was nothing else for either of them to do but get comfortable in bed to sleep. Everyone in the group had had a long day, and he was sure Sango and Miroku were already asleep in the room across from theirs. He was thankful the universe spared him from having to listen to anything that was not snoring.

“What time do you think we’ll all be up by tomorrow?” He heard Kagome ask from above him.

As he made himself comfortable on the floor with the fluffy pillow Kagome had given him he answered, “Hopefully not at noon. I’ll push you off the bed and bang on their door until yer all awake.”

She laughed, “You’ll get us kicked out if you do that.”

“Yeah?” Well, maybe we can find a hotel that has rooms with two beds.” He grumbled.

“Sharing a bed is not a big deal!” Kagome lied, because to her it would definitely be a big deal.

To the blushing half-demon sleeping on the ground, it was also a very big deal. “Goodnight Kagome.”

Kagome pouted, thankful that he could not see the disappointment on her face. “Fine, don’t be extra grumpy when your back hurts tomorrow.”

They flipped on their sides facing away from each other and attempted to sleep. Kagome was doing well, the giant bed was super comfortable and it would bring her to sleep in no time. Except, she could listen to Inuyasha shuffling over on the floor knowing he was trying to find a comfortable position.

A frustrated grunt had her fluttering her eyes open and groggy from sleep. She wondered how long she had been out, and she would ask Inuyasha but he was still tossing and turning on the floor. She rubbed her eyes and let out a tiny yawn before scooting over to the side to look at him.

At the moment, he was fighting with Kagome’s blanket and was one minute closer to taking the car keys and sleeping inside the car.

“Inuyasha?” he heard her ask. Her voice was soft and sounded small, she looked tired and in much need of sleep.

“Kags? Hey, sorry for waking you.” He said apologetically.

She shook her head with a little smile to show him she felt no animosity towards him. “Yash, you’re uncomfortable. Please come to bed.”

“You say that like it’s easy..” he muttered over his beating heart. She was so tired, and yet here she was still concerned over him and putting his needs before her own.

“It’s not easy.” She replied sleepily.

“What?” He sat up from his floor bed and looked at her. Her eyes were glossed over, and a little smile was painted on her face. “Kags, what do you mean?”

She shrugged awkwardly in her laying down position and yawned again. “I like you, so, it’s not easy for me to tell you that.. but you can’t sleep on the floor.”

Inuyasha’s face heated up instantly, a blush so red and deep that he could make tomatoes jealous of its color. There was no way she was telling him the truth. There was absolutely no way she was reciprocating his feelings right now, because this all seems too good to be true, and nothing this amazing ever happens to him. He was already lucky enough to call her his best friend, but for her to like him back when he had never told her was more than he could have asked for.

Her words processed rather quickly, and Kagome shot up from the bed. suddenly wide awake. There was absolutely no way she just said that to him. Every second that passed caused her to overthink everything, and she felt like her friendship with him was slipping out of her fingers the more time passed.

“I- I mean! Um.. no? Uh. I didn’t say that! Forget what I said!” She laughed nervously, “Haha funny joke!”

Her stuttering was going through one fluffy ear and out of the other because he was still trying to process what she said. He could see her better than she could see him, and her blushing face did not match the denial she was spewing at him.

“Would you laugh too if I told you I felt the same way?” His voice wavered during his confession while his stomach made flips.

“You…” Kagome paused and took a deep breath in a failed attempt to get herself to relax. “You like me too?”

“Yep.”

“..For how long?”

“Since I turned 13 and saw you in that one blue dress at the school dance.” There was no going back for him now.

She remembered that day pretty easily because it was one of her most cherished memories. It was the middle school dance, and everyone was super excited to find someone to go with. Naturally Kagome went with Inuyasha since they were so inseparable, and she wanted to surprise him and go in her new blue dress. That whole night Inuyasha was acting weirder than usual, but she thought it was because of the school dance, not because of her or her blue dress.

“What about you?” His question dragged her out of her thoughts.

“Around the same time as you, except it was after the dance. Yura cut off some of my hair because she was kinda obsessed with it, and mama had to even it out afterward. It was so short, and I hated it! But you came up to me when I was crying and told me I was pretty with my short hair, and then you yelled at Yura the next day.

“That’s when I sort of figured I liked you more than just as my best friend.” She admitted.

The two best friends stared at each other in bewilderment due to their confessions. The words they shared are still floating above them like small clouds. The fear of their feelings staying one-sided was nothing but a fluke now, because their feelings were reciprocated.

“Do you um..” Kagome coughed, “Wanna get off the floor and talk about it some more?” She padded the mattress for emphasis.

He was sure he looked like an idiot with how fast he got up from the carpet. Maybe she did not see it that way, but he sure did feel that way. He felt like he was floating even with his body now firmly on the large bed. He left a small space between them, on the off chance that he was reading into it too much.

It was quiet between them and sleep was still creeping onto them like a predator watching its prey.

“You know I expected my confession to you to be kinda dramatic.” Kagome laughed, “Like, we have a huge fight and we’re yelling at each other from across the room and then you say something stupid and I just kinda scream it out.”

The half-demon raised a brow at her in amusement. “You watch way too many movies, Kagome.”

She pushed on his shoulder in mock offense, “Don’t pretend like you don’t sit there and watch them with me!”

“That’s because you force me to watch them with you. How many times have we seen the Notebook? I lost count!”

“Okay, okay, first of all, we haven’t seen the Notebook since high school. I’ll admit we saw it too often, but not recently!”

“Yeah?” He grinned at her, his fang poking out only adding to the effect he has on her. “Doesn’t mean we haven’t seen similar movies.”

She huffed, “I’m a sucker for romance. You can’t blame me for that.”

Inuyasha watched as her lips turned out into a little pout and she puffed out her chest. Those same lips he has always caught himself staring too hard at, the ones he thought about kissing everyday but knew he never could. Well, here was his chance; and she was sitting right in front of him.

Before he could back out of it, he leaned in closer to her face and stared directly into her dark brown eyes. Her breath caught in her throat and the little gasp she let out echoed his ears. Her breath fawned over his lips as she realized how close they were to touching. Her eyes flicked from his golden ones to his lips, and then back to his eyes again.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked her breathlessly. He was totally enthralled by her and her full, parted lips.

She nodded in anticipation knowing that her voice would fail her if she tried to speak.

His lips were on hers instantly as he drank her in like water. They were as soft and plush as he expected them to be but they were also even more than that. Their lips molded against each other so easily it was strange to think about why he waited so long to do this in the first place. The kiss they shared was sweet and cautious but still electrifying. He did not want to scare her away in case she backed out of it, but little did he know she was savoring this moment between them.

Slowly, they parted ways as they tried to catch their breath. Inuyasha noted how cute she looked with pink-tinted cheeks, kiss swollen lips, and sparkling eyes as she looked at him. He could not stop the grin from showing up on his face after finally being able to kiss the girl of his dreams, the same girl that was a bit too far from him at the moment.

“Come ‘ere.” He slurred, his voice deep and rich with admiration. He extended his arms to her and beckoned her towards him with a blush still on his cheeks.

Without saying a word she crawled over to him and broke the remaining space they had between them. She fit into his lap so perfectly and she never wanted to live a life where she could not do this again. The butterflies in her stomach were eating her alive but she powered through the feeling and laid her head on his shoulder. His strong arms embraced her small figure and pressed her into him while he fought the nerves in his body to relax. This was still extremely new to the both of them, but suddenly they wanted to be as close to each other as possible.

They sat together like this for a few minutes until Inuyasha noticed that Kagome was starting to drift away into sleep again. Even the excitement of a love confession was not strong enough against the pull of sleep.

“Kags,” he whispered. “Let’s lay down. You need to sleep more comfortably.”

She protested, “But I’m comfy here.”

Before she could say anything more he quickly changed their position and laid down on the bed. With one arm still holding Kagome snuggly on him, he used the other to bring up the giant comforter to cover the both of them. He was glad they both decided to leave the lights off during the entire ordeal they had earlier so he did not have to get up and ruin her comfortable position.

Kagome was thankful for the lights staying off too because she was not going to let Inuyasha go even for a second. Miroku and Sango might be extremely confused tomorrow morning when they notice the change in dynamic but that will be tackled when they get to it. Right now, she is way more content with her head on his chest and his hand on her back.

Before she officially dozed off into slumber, she kissed his chin and snuggled into him. With her head on his chest, she could hear the erratic beating of his heart after her surprise kiss. He said nothing as he listened to her breathing steadily with every minute that passed until her grip on his arm went slack.

Inuyasha had not expected so much to happen between them in a span of a few hours. Their dynamic now changed forever. He was aware that they still had more to talk about, but for now, he was going to cherish this moment with her. He kissed her forehead one more time out of pure need and desire before settling in to catch some sleep.

He would never deny sharing the bed with her ever again.

[buglife]

Bend and Not Break - Ch 5: Epilogue - Hands Down

Read here on AO3 :3

As much as Quirrel enjoyed having a ‘break’, it was starting to get on his nerves.

Ever since he woke up from his pseudo coma two weeks ago, he had been doing nothing but lie in bed and get doted on every single second of the day. He understood why, he had inadvertently scared his family and friends after the assassination attempt and they were still worried. It was a close call, and Ghost especially was more protective than usual because of it. Even when the Knights cleared the doctors on duty, they had been reluctant to let any of them near him. He had to reassure his love that doctors tend to know what they are doing and to let them do their jobs. After getting actual doctors involved, he started to feel better. They at least weren’t like his mother, having bugs spy on him to make sure he stayed in bed. She was serious about her threat and he didn't dare test her.

He was also rather surprised to get an entire sack of mail just for him. All of them were well wishes from various citizens, happy to learn that he’ll be okay. He quickly realized that it would be impossible to personally reply to them all, so he got some retainers to write some thank you notes in return. His mother raised him to be polite, after all, and he was touched by the letter. He resolved to keep them as soon as he could figure out where to put them all.

He felt awful. For a while it hurt to breathe and move. Apparently, the poison affected his nerves and the constant spasms had caused some damage. The high fever did not help much either, and it took several days before he could function without pain medication. He had decided after everything was said and done, to never see soup again as long as he lived. He had consumed enough soup to last an entire lifetime, and if Ghost brought him one more bowl of soup he would throw said bowl out the nearest window. Ghost promised not bring any more soup...only to bring him a bisque for dinner that night.

Sometimes he thought that his mother has had an adverse affect on his spouse.

Thankfully, there wasn’t going to be any permanent damage from the poisoning. He would still be tired and weak for a while as his body worked to repair itself, but he wasn’t in danger anymore. The bed rest however, he wasn’t too fond of, not when there was so much to do still. Sure...he slept a lot...but it was the principle of the matter. He was perfectly able to sit up in bed and catch up on paperwork, but he wasn’t even allowed to do that.

How miserable it is, to be on a mandatory vacation, especially for a bug that was used to just...getting up and doing things.

The only good thing about it was that Ghost would carry him to their personal hot spring in the bathroom and they could spend some time together. Being so busy, they often only saw each other briefly through the day and only had an hour or so before bed before exhaustion claimed them both. It was nice to be able to just relax together, listening to random gossip and updating the various running betting pools. So far, Quirrel had 100 Geo riding on Lurien showing up to court high next time they arranged a meeting together. Ghost bet that he wouldn’t, but Quirrel knows Lurien and Lurien deals with social anxiety by removing social anxiety entirely. It was good to laugh again after such a tense week. Eventually, Ghost started taking up duties again while Quirrel’s health continued to improve.

There came the matter of the prisoners left alive, but Quirrel needed to talk to someone first before he made a decision.

Once he was cleared to walk around again, he and his spouse headed to one of the royal suites. Once doctors were cleared, Poppy the scorpion had been moved from protective custody in the dungeon up to a much nicer room to recover in. From what Quirrel understood from both Xena’s reports and Ghost’s commentary, Poppy was an innocent victim in all this. Venomous bugs tended to get quite a bit of discrimination despite how hard they worked to turn public opinion around. Times were changing for sure, one of the archive researchers, a bee-fly, had recently became engaged to her tarantula girlfriend. It was slow going, however, and he wanted to be sure that Poppy would be alright in the end.

He paused outside her door and knocked. “Remember dear, to be gentle with her. It’s probably going to be intimidating to meet with both rulers at once.”

Ghost nodded. “I’ll behave.”

“You better.” Quirrel smirked.

“Hello! Come in!” Came a the voice on the other side of the door. Ghost took the knob, turning it and opening the door for the both to step inside.

The scorpion was sitting in bed, looking much better than what Xena had first described. The softer parts of her chitin was returning to a healthy golden brown and much of her bandages have been removed. Her damaged eye had started to heal, and besides the odd crack or two in her shell, there wasn’t much visible indication of her harrowing ordeal. From was understood, she still needed plenty of rest and food, but she was well enough to finally go home with an escort from Deepnest.

She was clearly only expecting a doctor or someone else other than a royal, because as soon as she spotted the two kings her eyes widened and she started twitching.

“Oh! Oh I am so sorry!” She clasped her many hands together, eyes darting about as she wondered if she should bow or curtsy or anything else other than just sitting in bed. Quirrel held up a hand before she could work herself into a panic attack.

“It’s alright. We’re just here to check up on you.”

She tilted her head. “Really? Um…” She nervously fiddled her pincers together. “I’m... I’m sorry that this all happened. I never wanted to hurt any bugs, I swear!”

“You aren’t in trouble. We know this wasn’t your fault. You seem like a sweet bug, I’m sorry you had to go through all this.” Quirrel said kindly, taking a seat next to one side of the bed. Ghost took the other side and chirped in encouragement.

“We just want to make sure you will be okay, before my sister comes to help you back home.” Ghost signed each word slowly to make sure Poppy could see it with her bad eye. They patted one of her hands, attempting to show a bit of comfort without completely freaking her out.

“Thank you.” She sounded relieved, most likely she thought she was about to get thrown in the dungeon for her unwilling part in this. “It was really nice of you to give me this room until I felt better.”

“To be honest, you deserved at least something nice after all of that. We aren’t even your rulers and yet you refused to work willingly with the conspirators.”

“You weren’t even a warrior, you are a flower bug. It takes immense courage to stand up for what is right even in the face of pain and fear.”

The scorpion blushed blue from the praise, looking like she wanted to duck under the covers and hide, but didn’t out of social politeness. “Um...thanks...your majesties.” She squeaked, deciding instead to hide her face in her pincers for a moment. She was clearly not used to such comments.

Quirrel sighed, thinking of the best way to word the question he wanted to ask. “I apologize for having to bring up what you went through...but there is something we’d like to know, if you would be so kind to answer. We still have some of the conspirators in the dungeon, including the ring leader. If you had a choice, what would you do with them?”

“You mean...like...keeping them in jail or executing them?” She twiddled her claws in thought.

Ghost nodded. “Yes. Technically it would be up to us because of the treason and attempted regicide. But you were also hurt and you are not one of our citizens, and Deepnest deserves an opinion too. We would just like to know your thoughts.”

“Well...um...I don’t...I don’t want more bugs to die.” She shrank a little into herself as she collected her thoughts. “I mean, my momma always said that you can’t um…learn a lesson if you’re dead, ya know? Maybe they could still learn to be good bugs if someone taught them how, if that’s okay…”

Quirrel smiled. “Those are certainly wise words. We’ll take that into consideration when we make a final decision together.”

“We’ll leave you be for now, your escort will be here to collect you once we are done with our meeting. Is there anything else you need before then?” Ghost tilted their head in a smile, echoing their husband.

“No, you all have been so nice! Thank you so much!” She beamed. “I can’t wait to go home and check on my flowers!”

“Good, who knows, we might drop In to say hello sometime.” Quirrel laughed, leaning in closer to mock whisper. “Don’t tell anyone this, but Ghost’s sibling, Hollow, loves flowers. Their room is practically a jungle.”

“Hollow the Kind? Oh! Oh yes we get some really rare and pretty flowers! I’ll save a few for when you drop by!” Clearly this was the route to go, because now Poppy was vibrating in excitement. Her eyes sparkled, now more busy thinking about flowers than being nervous. “If their room is as big as this one, they might like some Strongylodon macrobotrys! Cypripedioideae might also be nice, there’s enough humidity for those!” She started muttering under her breath, scientific names and common names blending together as she thought aloud.

“Don’t worry, once you are situated and back in business, we’ll come take a look.” Quirrel put a stop to her rambling for now. “I’m afraid we must leave for now, but do send a letter to the palace once you are open again.”

“Thanks! I will!” She was practically shining in joy. Both Ghost and Quirrel gave her a polite little bow, and then left her on her own. She was alone within moments, with nothing to do now but to wait for her escort to take her home again.

She started to vibrate again. Inspiration was coming to her, and she cannot be stopped!

She wondered if she could get a hold of a Amorphophallus titanum, something told her that it was a flower that the royal family would get a kick out of for sure.

---

Hornet sat, awaiting her siblings and adopted brother within the meeting room. Two weavers sat with her, one on either side. She wished she could be here for a friendly visit, she honestly did miss her siblings. Alas, the work of a princess is never finished, and she did not envy her mother, the queen, in any way shape or form. Sure her mother commanded respect and power, but the sheer amount of shit she had to put up with in a day makes Hornet grateful that it’ll be a long time before she has to pick up the crown. She thankfully just had this one matter to finish and then she could go home and hide away from other bugs for a while.

Unfortunately, she was stuck with Tiso, who kept making faces at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“Tiso, if you keep doing that, I will pull that tongue right out of your mouth.” She hissed, but her words weren’t completely full of malice. She fingered the needle in her hands, the urge to stab rising.

“Sorry, I’m already in a committed relationship.” He replied, grinning widely. “I don’t think my girls would like that.”

“I would stab you in the head, but I think I would miss your brain from how small it is.”

“Why do you have to be so mean, Hornet.” Tiso fake pouted. “I happen to have a nice brain...I think.”

“Because someone in this family has to be the mean one, and I take on that position with pride.” She bared her own fangs at the ant. She had more fangs than a spider ought to have for sure. Tiso however, had no fucks to give and thus wasn't intimidated at all.

Before Tiso could antagonize her further, the door to the room opened and in strolled the two rulers of Hallownest. Ghost made a beeline to Hornet, swiftly grabbing her up in a hug and purring loudly. “Sister!”

The weavers sighed, now used to all this. At first they freaked the fuck out when the eldritch god of a king picking up their crown princess and hugged her. Even more when they first heard the weird voice in their heads that belonged to said king. Now, it was routine.

“Hello, Ghost.” Hornet wheezed, getting thoroughly smooshed. With practiced ease, she wiggled herself out of their grip and dropped gracefully to the floor. She turned to regard the pillbug approaching her. “Hello Quirrel, I’m glad to see that you aren’t dead. I would have been quite disappointing in you if you died without my sibling’s express permission.”

He laughed and gave her a quick hug. “As if a little poison alone would kill me.”

“You’re a tougher bug than what I gave credit for.” She stepped back once the pleasantries were out of the way. “It boons well not only for my sibling, but for relations between our kingdoms.”

“You just say that because your mother loves watching you kick my ass up and down the village.” Quirrel sighed and took a seat at the table.

“She does enjoy seeing Deepnest having an equal and honorable relationship with the current diarchy.” She smoothly said, all but confirming Quirrel’s statement as she sat down as well. “It’s much easier to come to a mutual understanding when one honors the traditions and customs of the kingdom they are visiting. Only a bug willing to back up their words through conviction is worthy of mother’s time of day.”

“Yeah, but Herrah also gives us cookies after you beat us up. I didn’t know that was part of Deepnest’s honorable traditions.” Ghost added, sitting next to Quirrel and giving him a quick nuzzle.

“Of course it is!” Hornet snorted, tilting her head to the side and adding some amusement to her voice. “Only the worthy get cookies.”

“Am I worthy enough to get a cookie?” Tiso piped up.

“No.” She hissed.

“Mean.” He retorted, going back to guarding the door with a sigh.

“I believe we should get down to the nature of this meeting,” Quirrel finally cut in, arranging the quill and papers on the table. “Not only are you here to retrieve your citizen, but also to represent your mother in the discussions about the prisoners responsible for her harm.”

“Yes.” She cleared her throat, going into princess mode. “Under current Deepnest law, via our new treaty, citizens from Hallownest that commit crimes in Deepnest are to be extradited to Deepnest for punishment, and vise versa.”

“Well that makes things easier for sure.” Quirrel scribbled on a spare piece of paper. “We have prisoners directly responsible for the abduction and torture of your citizen. I believe Herrah already came to a decision on what is to become of them?”

“Yes. Ghost sent the letter a week ago, it gave mother plenty of time to think.” Hornet reached into her cloak, pulling out a letter written on spider silk. She slid it across the table for both Ghost and Quirrel. “She formally requests that the prisoners be transported to our dungeon, where they will be judged and tried by our people.”

“It will be done.” Ghost looked to Tiso and nodded. “Can you run that order down to the dungeons?”

“Sure, Squib.” Tiso saluted, and then was gone.

Hornet looked at Ghost with a frown after the ant departed. “You shouldn’t let him keep calling you ‘squib’ and the like, you are his king and he should respect you enough to use your title, even if you adopted him.”

“Can’t.” They just shrugged in response. “Big brother rights. It’s law.”

“I’m afraid that it’s true.” Quirrel nodded solemnly. “Especially since you let Hollow call you...what was it now? Their ‘Special Spooder Sister?' I’m guessing we should tell them to add a ‘Princess’ to that as well.”

“It’s okay love, clearly she wants to be referred to her proper title, Princess Angey Spooder. I apologize for not using it earlier, dear sister.”

“Next time we have an event, we will alert the guards to announce you with your proper title, Princess Precious Paws. Please excuse our ignorance.”

“OKAY, I GET IT.” She threw up her hands in frustration. “I’ll shut up about the nicknames!”

Both diarchs struggled to contain their laughter and were quickly losing. Quirrel was the first to crack, and quickly dragged Ghost down with him as they laughed.

The weaver guards looked at Hornet, who only returned a sigh and a head shake. “Yes yes, I exist to provide amusement to the both of you. Are we done here?”

Ghost snorted and wiped their eyes, reining in the lingering giggles. “Yeah, just be sure you are here next weekend for Sibling Day.”

“As if I would miss Hollow’s cooking.” She replied with a curt nod of her head. “Now, I will collect my wayward citizen and return to Deepnest. On behalf of Queen Herrah, Deepnest thanks you for your cooperation and care in regards of one of our own.”

“Hallownest is more than happy to work with Deepnest on whatever they need.” Ghost sat up straight and bowed their head, acting the part of a reining diarch. They tilted their head back up slightly, a hint of mayhem within as they looked directly at Hornet. “I will be sure to write a letter to Herrah, thanking her for allowing her most esteemed and beloved daughter to visit us, her Highness Princess Stabby Spider.”

It took all of Hornet’s grace and self control to NOT start a diplomatic incident. But boy...did she want to.

---

Quirrel looked over the crowd, spouse standing beside him as he once again found himself on a podium. Bugs were crowded in the streets and hanging off the buildings, all looking at him as he spoke. It was the same speech he had written what seemed like ages ago, but it seems like this time he’d be allowed to finish it. Any ounce of nervousness was squashed by a cool hand in his, squeezing once in a while to remind him that his spouse was there. It was very welcome, as he felt the constant urge to look to the rooftops of the buildings around them, ready to dodge in case another crossbow bolt came his way.

There were certainly more guards than usual, but it was understandable. He highly doubted another assassination attempt would be possible with how many guards were out and about. Most of the citizens didn’t seem to mind, watching and listening with smiles as he continued to prattle on. He didn’t feel like standing here all day, he had plans.

“And so we formally declare that the Hallownest Memorial Greenhouse is now open to the public! Feel free to inside and have a look! Thank you all for coming today, and we hope you all enjoy it!”

Finally, it was done. Ghost leaned against him as they watched the citizens filter into the multi-story greenhouse. They seemed to be having a good time, and they obviously didn’t need the two rulers to keep hanging around if not needed anymore.

“You know what,” Came the whisper of Ghost’s voice in Quirrel’s head. “Since we are done here...why don’t we do something?”

“Like what, dear?” Quirrel stretched, working out the kinks from standing up for so long.

“We could do something...spicy.” There was a devilish edge to their tone, a hand reaching around to squeeze his side. “We don’t have anything we have to do, we got plenty of time to...experiment a little.”

The pillbug couldn’t help but shiver a little, flashing a grin. “Oh ho...feeling adventurous today, are we?”

“I am.” Ghost reached down to scoop up their husband, not caring on who was watching the amount of tooth-rotting romance going down. “Let’s not waste any time, I’ve been wanting to do this with you for ages.”

Quirrel grinned, this was going to be fun.

---

“Ghost! Don’t rub your eyes after handling the peppers!”

A sharp echoing noise of pain leaked through the closed door and drifted into the hallways, stopping a pair of retainers in their tracks. They stood still for a moment, listening, unsure if they were going to be needed. They could hear one of their kings talking and the other apparently flailing around and knocking things over.

“Why the hell did you buy Dragon’s Breath peppers then? They are supposed to burn!”

A few dishes shattered and there came a slosh of water.

“Love! Stop! I’ll rinse out your- WAIT, BE CAREFUL WITH THE STOVE-”

A bright flash of yellow illuminated the bottom crack of the door and smoke began to drift from under it. There came quite a bit of commotion at that, and they could hear the occupants inside run about and knocking even more things over.

One retainer looked to the other. “What the hell is going on?”

“They are trying to cook.” Replied the other. “I don’t think it’s going well.”

“What gave you that idea?” The first sarcastically snarked, watching the smoke get a little thicker.

The second sighed. “Wait here, I’ll go get the fire extinguishers.”

[The End]

-------

The end :D Thanks for being patient, my now fiancé was visiting and I didn't get much time to write! Now I'm back on track.

Chapter title comes from this song which is so romantic and sweet and it makes me think of two people genuinely in love and all the silliness it entails. These two especially, being NERDS.

What happened to the ones involved with the assassination plot that didn't get sent to Deepnest? They are down in the waterways, hand scrubbing that all clean. No mops, just good ol' buckets and sponges. Poppy did say that just killing someone means that they will never learn the lesson they needed, so both Ghost and Quirrel took that into consideration and put their asses to work to better the kingdom. Maybe after a few decades the lesson will be fully learned >)

ALSO if you are cooking with hot peppers, be sure not to touch your eyes, mouth, or nose, or it will BURN.

[jennrypan]

I rewrote the part where Scourge and Sonic have that "Just like me convo" so it can fit my au of them.

____________________

Fiona cheating on him with his anti didnt make Sonic angry..

Fiona actively lying to him didnt piss him off, maybe annoyed him..but it didnt piss him off.

What did piss him off however was how she antagonized Amy and Tails, and how she seemed to preen at the slightest attention Scourge gave her..because she wanted someone to protect her..someone to care about her, he didnt know..and what set him off was how she slapped Tails away, mocked him for crying and all to impress his anti! 

"What the hell Fiona!?" 

Sonic snapped, though this just caused the vixen to roll her eyes before she looked at him..god her attitude was grating his nerves,

"What?" She mused as if she didnt just slap his best friend for no reason,

That ..that made him scowl, and without warning he moved- he wanted to actually..throw her, her attitude annoyed him, her disregard for his friends pissed him off- he hadnt accounted for Scourge actually protecting her, as when he moved..so did the green hedgehog and before he could touch Fiona a fist crushed into his cheek causing him to let out a sharp grunt and lose his footing for a brief minute, instantly turning his attention towards Scourge..he still had that same sleazy smile..taunting. 

"Bad move, blue." 

Scourge drawled out, and Sonic just clicked his tongue watching as Scourge slowly paced around him..hes been itching to fight him for who knows how long..that much Sonic knew, but Sonic just hummed,

"Oh so you can help other people besides yourself, I was beginning to worry you had no redeeming qualities!" He stated sounding visibly amused, 

Scourge just scoffed lowly, "Please, thats not a redeemin quality, raise your standards." He sneered, and without warning he ran forward..and the fight began.

Amy had since charged at Fiona but Sonic could barely focus on that as Scourge kept matching him blow for blow..only thing was Scourge was a lot more violent..a lot more aggressive.

It wasnt everyday Sonic worked up a sweat fighting an opponent as not many people matched his speed..Shadow and Metal were the only ones..now Scourge had been added to that list of people that seem to want to kill him for no reason.

"Jeez its hard to believe someone so bitter could be me, like damn dude, did your favorite jacket get discontinued?" 

Even during this fight Sonic didnt stop being taunting, as he landed on top of a rock- narrowly avoiding being kicked into a tree, watching as Scourge turned towards him, his eyes were surprisingly still shielded by his shades but Sonic could still feel him glaring at him, 

Scourge moved again and this time he successfully swiped Sonics legs from underneath him and when Sonic fell the blue hedgehog instinctively moved to the side as Scourges fist came crashing into the floor were his head had previously been,

"Lets see you keep makin jokes when I break your fuckin legs." Scourge hissed- despite his words he sounded delighted by the thought, pleased with the thought of hurting him and hes use to this from Shadow and Metal, they were both assholes who worked with Eggman on their worst days and they just genuinely didnt like him that much but Scourge? Theyve only met three times before this and he didnt remember antagonizing the male enough to make him want to hurt him that much-

Scourge charged forward once more and Sonic quickly moved to the side, arm pulling back before he crashed his fist into the side of Scourges face as he had done to him earlier..knocking the shades from his face which caused his anti to pause briefly, glancing down at the shades for a millisecond as they landed on the floor, cracked and lopsided.

That millisecond was soon forgotten as Scourge retaliated..his body moved lower and his leg rose before he kicked Sonic straight in the chest causing the male to grunt, stumbling back at the force but the kick wasnt enough as Scourge had soon punched him in the stomach,

"God- I still got a few more jokes- first, those shades were lame anyways- not a joke but a fact!" 

Sonic stated quickly, jumping out of the way from Scourge once more as the male just growled,

"Im not takin shit from someone who thinks 'Way past cool' is a thing people actually say!" Scourge retorted, 

"Hey people said it before!" 

"No ones ever said that shit before!" 

It went on like this for what seemed like a few minutes with both of them arguing with each other, Sonic just wanted to see exactly why Scourge was going out of his way to hurt him- even trying to actually break his leg if he was given the chance..the rage was so weird..he knew antis were different but he didnt expect his anti to be so..angry,  so violent- his anti seemed more like a very verbal Shadow with the way he kept attacking him, 

"Ya know being an asshole isnt as rewarding as ya think it is right?" 

Sonic questioned- grunting when he got into a tree, thankfully avoiding Amy as she chased Fiona around still, she had tried to help but Fiona kept distracting her.

"Pfft, its more rewardin than wastin my time saving a buncha useless dicks who dont deserve it!" Scourge replied, sounding amused by the sheer thought of saving someone else...Sonic couldnt imagine not wanting to save people..yeah sometimes he thought some people didnt deserve it but still, 

"Youre still a Sonic! Still me- you should want to at least try and help people!"

"Why? Cuz thats what you do?" 

Scourge just laughed and without warning he moved forward..punched him in the stomach, then his chest- he didnt wait for a retaliation as he kicked him into a tree, he found with the purpose to bruise and scar while Sonic fought to distance and distract-

His head spun for a split moment, the wind knocked out of him, 

"You dont get it! Rulin people with fear and hate, is soo much better than tryna be some glorified saint!" 

Scourge stated, his eyes were blazing..the rage was back..he looked nothing like him right now..something was off, Sonic didn't like how unhinged he was,  how cruel- 

"That isnt true, and it never will be."

Sonic declared and Scourge just sneered at him, laughing, fist pulling back as Sonic quickly moved from his spot, his knuckles slammed into bark instead of Sonics nose,

"When you finally realize not everyone deserves to be saved, when you see how much more freein it is to be above people than to depend on them- you'll be like me, all it takes is one bad day, one bad situation and you'll see that." Scourge hummed out, side stepping as Sonic went to kick him, only to have his leg grabbed and he was forcefully thrown down, causing him to grunt lowly, and without warning Scourge stepped on his chest, Sonic could only stare at him for a brief moment before he just grinned- 

"Thats where your wrong dude, a bad day doesnt just make someone a villain..but a good day? A good day could change a lot, all it takes is someone showing you an ounce of kindness, someone showin you the love you never got and you'll be like me, a good person..maybe even a hero." He stated, grinning.

He expected another mocking laugh instantly, expecting Scourges foot to press down but for a brief minute..the green hedgehog paused, eyes widening ever so slightly, and for that minute Sonic was sure he got to him..he knew deep down Scourge wasnt evil, he could just show him he didnt have to be like this, he could help him..he didnt know anything about his anti besides the fact something was severely wrong with his mental state and he took too much enjoyment in hurting him but he knew he wasnt evil.

Then.. the green hedgehog just smiled, his expression hardening as if it hadnt changed in the first place, 

"How naive." 

He sneered and that slowly shattered Sonics hopes of getting through to him..he just dismissed his words-

"Not naive..hopeful." Sonic retorted, moving his arm to grab his ankle but his foot had moved towards his neck and Sonic jolted- the malice in his eyes was so..floundering..he could never imagine that look on his own face.

"Same thing." Scourge stated dismissively, and Sonic didnt get the chance to reply as a blur of yellow and brown crashed into Scourge, pushing the older teen to the ground successfully allowing Sonic to sit up instantly,

"Get away from him you bully!" Tails screamed, Sonic heard Scourge cursing and soon Tails was thrown back, causing Sonic to quickly move to catch him.

"Thanks bud." Sonic murmured, staring at Scourge who just fixed his jacket- appearing inconvenienced as Fiona neatly landing besides him as Amy ran up next to Sonic, "Stop running you coward!" The pink hedgehog hissed, Scourge just plucked out a warp ring from his jacket, just smiling at Sonic.. His smile was so..mean looking, it was too sharp..too fake,

"Til next time blue."  

Was all Scourge said in a sing song like voice as he let Fiona into the portal first and he followed quickly after just as Amy chucked her hammer in their direction, who she was aiming at specifically he had no clue.

"Dammit! Stupid! Assholes, ugh!" Amy screamed, storming over to snatch her hammer up,

"Theyre such bullies! Why did I even like her!" Tails exclaimed, Sonic just frowned before he sighed quietly, glancing from Amy to Tails. 

"Lets just go, theyre gone now, might as well enjoy the peace." He stated with a simple shrug, giving them a small smile, the smile made Amy visibly melt while it comforted Tails slightly, the young pink hedgehog was at his side instantly, clutching his arm- which he allowed for the time being while Tails was a little slower to approach him, still dejected.

He knew his anti despised him but he'll never get the reason why, and unfortunately..Scourge was too far gone to talk down from whatever path he was taking..the friendly route was no longer an option.

[tickle-bugs]

Reignite

Summary: Dean stumbles--or is cosmically shoved, more like--back upon the largest loose end in his life. This is one knot he won’t leave untied.

Took me a year (couldn’t resist the dad joke) but here’s my SPNFluffsgiving fic! I ended up writing two fics and frankensteining them together because I wasn’t happy with either on their own, and I think, all things considered, it turned out well!!! Tried something new with the present-tense vs my usual past tense, which was very, very hard for some reason. Anyways, enjoy!

Spoilers for Supernatural episode 15 x 19 through the finale ahead!

“What’s eating ya?” Bobby takes a swig of his beer and eyes Dean sideways. 

“Nothin’.” 

“We have all of eternity to sit here. Don’t think I won’t.” Bobby flicks the bottle cap at him and chuckles when it bounces off his shoulder. 

“I like it here. It’s nice. Quiet.”

“But…?” Bobby looks at him in that very Bobby-like way, that strange blend of impatience and kindness that leaves no room to doubt that he cares.  

“Something is just...wrong? I dunno. I felt a little better when Sam got here, but I still have this weight on my chest. Like something is missing. I dunno.” Dean taps his fingers against the beer bottle and slumps down in his chair. He heaves a breath that gets stuck somewhere between a sigh and a groan.

“You’re saying ‘I don’t know’ a lot for someone who seems to know exactly what’s buggin’ ya.” Bobby raises his beer in a silent ‘I’ll drink to that’. 

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be talking to you,” Dean grumbles, kicking a pebble off of the Roadhouse porch. Bobby whips off his hat and smacks Dean’s arm, then his leg, then his stomach which really wasn’t cool. 

“Ow! Okay, I’m sorry! Back off!” Dean raises his arms to shield from Bobby’s wrath, biting back a comment about Bobby being a crotchety old man. 

“Think about it. Who’s the only person you haven’t seen since you made it here?” Bobby makes a little bird with his hands and raises his eyebrows as if Dean’s first thought wasn’t of teary blue eyes.

“Cas is in the Empty, Bobby. He’s gone. It just swallowed him like--like nothing.” Dean’s voice breaks and he knocks back his beer to hide it. 

“Jack must have built this magic box wrong. You’re supposed to feel it when a loved one arrives.”

“What?”

“Cas is here, Dean. He helped put this all together.” 

The world shrinks to a pinpoint. The beer bottle slips from Dean’s fingers and his attempt to catch it sends it soaring into the road, where it rolls far enough to qualify as a lost cause. The image of a teary Cas, seconds before destruction, grabs a swift and tight hold of the front of his mind. 

I love you.

“Bobby-”

“Are you really gonna waste your breath arguing with me when I just told you that he’s out there? This may be heaven, but I can still kick your ass.” Bobby narrows his eyes at Dean. 

Why does this feel like a goodbye?

Because it is.

“But-”

“Go after him, Dean.  You made him wait this long already.” Bobby squeezes Dean’s shoulder and shakes him a little, fixing him with those kind-but-tough eyes. Dean sighs and rubs a hand over his face, hissing when cold metal pokes him in the eye.

Baby’s keyring dangles from his finger, clinking gently as it collides with his palm. He sighs and shoves it in his pocket, making sure to shake the little ring off of his finger. 

Weird. 

“Can’t escape what your heart wants.” Bobby gestures towards Dean’s hand with an infuriating little smirk, like he knows something Dean doesn’t. 

“That doesn’t mean jack shit,” Dean grumbles. 

“Sure, and I’m President Roosevelt.” Bobby rolls his eyes. 

“Which one?”

“Teddy, obviously.” Bobby leans back in his seat with a chuckle. Dean scratches at his cheek and grunts when, once again, metal digs into his skin. Baby’s keys jingle menacingly at him, like a pushy set of windchimes, and they don’t budge when he tries to shake them away. He turns his hand upside-down and scrapes the keys off like a stubborn piece of gum, but they reappear in the other hand.

“What the fuck?” He holds them up to eye level and they sway in the breeze, jingling again. He drops them and they zoom right back into his hand, like a lame Mjolnir, and okay, someone has to be messing with him. He shakes them a few times to detect any evil (a foolproof method, in his opinion) and Baby’s car alarm starts blaring much louder than it should.

“Dean.”

“Alright, I’m going!” He trudges away from the porch, grumbling under his breath, and the car’s alarm shuts off with a pleasant chirp.

“Tell him I said hi!” Bobby waves and watches the Impala pull onto the open road, raising his beer until he disappears from Dean’s rearview. 

…

Dean cuts the ignition and slides out of the Impala, squinting against the sudden warm breeze. It’s quiet out here. If it wasn’t for the constant tugging on his soul, like a bratty kid demanding attention, it would be nice. Peaceful, even.

He leans against the bridge railing and closes his eyes against the next gust of wind, this one much more powerful than the first. Everything in the vicinity rustles as the wind dances by. He leans his forehead against his hands and sighs.

What the hell would he even say?

There’s no manual for this, no prior experience or family legend to consult. Jesus, he’s like a teenager trying to apologize for standing up a date. He’d ditched Cas at the celestial prom, and now he has to face the music. No more asking Dad to leave early for the next hunt so he wouldn’t have to face whichever girl he dumped. Grown-ass men face their weird, divine love affairs with dignity, not revenge hookups in the girl’s locker room. 

Highschool Dean would call Present Dean a bitch for even trying to chase after Cas.

Highschool Dean was a dick, anyway. 

Okay, he needs a gameplan. Stay calm, cool, and collected--like he’s working a case. Cas doesn’t need to know about the butterflies rioting in his stomach. Dean would be smooth and chill. They’ll talk like adults--yeah, that’s it. Grown-ass men, and whatnot. He’d just send Cas a message on angel radio, he’d zip on down, and they’d be hunkydory--

“Hello, Dean.”

Shit.

He whips around, his throat already closing up in mutiny. Just seeing Cas is a punch in the gut--he looks just as Dean remembers, if not better. It’s as if not a day has passed since the Bunker, and god, Dean might not be qualified for this. 

Cas smiles timidly as he steps forward, hands shoved awkwardly into his coat pockets. His head’s bowed, as if he’s in trouble, as if Dean would scold him for who fucking knows what, and his blood boils at the thought. 

“Dean?” Cas tilts his head.

Something grips Dean, something powerful and terrifying in its ferocity. A force he doesn’t understand surges at the bounds of his body, welling up into his throat, his heart, his lungs. Tears spill from him at a terrifying rate but he’s numb and aching all at once. He’s shaking--no, trembling--and he pulls Cas into a kiss before he loses his nerve. 

If he could quantify the triumph of nearly two decades of suffocating pining, he’d say it tastes like stale peppermint. He makes a mental note to lecture Cas about his choice in gum later—spearmint is obviously superior. 

Dean pulls away when his gross, sticky hiccups start to interfere with the sweetness of the kiss. He feels disgusting but he couldn’t stop crying if he wanted to. 

Definitely not one of his highlight moments. 

“Cas,” he croaks. Cas, Cas, Cas, loops in his head, interfering with the static everything else he needs to say. A tumultuous wave of words presses against his lips and he focuses all of his energy on getting them out. 

“It’s alright. You’re alright.” Cas cradles Dean’s face in his hands, swiping away tears with his thumbs, but he’s sobbing so hard that it doesn’t make a difference. His ‘calm, cool, and collected’ plan is effectively blown to hell and he curses himself for it.  

“You shouldn’t have gone out like that, man. Fuck, I should have said something-”

“Dean, it’s alright--”

“No, it isn’t. I screwed up, Cas. I screwed up so fuckin’ bad.” Dean blinks at a tear-warped Cas, gripping his forearms as if he’d disappear in the breeze. 

“When you said...what you said, I thought it back. It was easier to say in my head but I should’ve said it out loud. You deserve to hear it. You deserve everything.” Speaking his mind is like willingly chugging motor oil. He swallows thickly as his thoughts start to align into some semblance of clarity. 

“You deserved more time,” Cas murmurs, and he has the nerve to look upset. He always wanted to give Dean more, so much more than he ever deserved. 

“Shut up,” Dean growls. Some switch flips in him, some bristly protectiveness that has him wanting to shake the angel like a margarita until he finally admits his worth. 

“Dean--”

“Nope. No more heroic bullshit. You’ve given enough, Cas. It’s enough. You’re enough.” Dean grips Cas’s shoulders and stares him down. Cas opens his mouth to retort but whatever expression is on Dean’s face presumably shuts him up. 

“You’ve always had me, Cas. You will always have me. I have never loved anyone the way I love you.” Finally, finally, the words tumble out without a second thought. Dean’s death grip on Cas’s shoulders loosens. He did it. 

“I love you too, Dean. I’ve loved you since the very beginning.” Cas smiles, as if it’s simple. 

“Gross,” Dean quips on instinct, and he regrets it the second it comes out. 

“You’re gross,” Cas fires back, squinty eyes and all, and Dean barks out a laugh that startles them both.

“C’mere.” Dean pulls him into a hug, cradling the back of Cas’s neck with his hand, and resolves never to let him go. Never again.

...

“Dean Novak ain’t bad,” Dean murmurs, rubbing a hand over Cas’s bare shoulder. The angel’s nestled into his side, huffing warm breaths into his collarbone, and he would rather die again than forget the feeling of Cas’s sleepwarm skin. 

“Mm. Castiel Winchester.” His lips graze over Dean’s chest in a low effort sort-of kiss. 

“You shouldn’t have to carry that name, after everything.”

“Hyphenation isn’t uncommon. Winchester-Novak?” Cas tilts his head up and scoots just slightly, trying to preserve his warm spot in Dean’s arms. He presses a proper kiss to the base of Dean’s throat and hums when he twitches away. 

“Sounds less like a name and more like a spell.” Dean snorts, and Cas swats his shoulder.

“I fell in love with you, Dean Winchester, and it would be an honor to carry that name. Even if it is completely ceremonial.” Cas turns Dean’s face down towards him, forcing their eyes to meet. Dean’s a little more than breathless at the way Cas’s eyes catch the moonlight but he still manages to grin. 

“Winchester is a dumb name, sorry.” 

“You are blatantly disrespecting my fiancé.” Cas squints at him. 

“Hmm, am I?” Dean’s eyes flit down to Cas’s lips, tongue flicking against his teeth. 

“Yes.”

“Your fiancé is a dumbass for not proposing to you sooner.” Dean cradles the back of Cas’s head, absently scratching his fingers along the scalp.

“He absolutely is. But only I get to say that about him.” Cas’s face settles into a steely neutrality betrayed only by the sparkle in his eye. Dean leans in closer but Cas stops him with a finger over his lips.

“Apologize.”

“Wh--are you serious?” 

“Apologize, Dean.” Cas pushes himself up on his elbow and cocks his eyebrow.

“You want me to apologize...to myself?” Dean chuckles in disbelief, waiting for Cas to admit he’s joking, but all he receives are wide, blinking blue eyes. 

“Perhaps you need some encouragement,” Cas murmurs, his lips quirking into a smirk. Before Dean can protest, Cas throws his leg over Dean’s and buries his nimble fingers into his ribs. 

“Wait, Cas--ahaha!”

“If the next words out of your mouth aren’t kind towards yourself, I don’t want to hear them.” Cas leans up to nip at Dean’s ear, burying a few chuckles directly behind it. His fingers trail down Dean’s body, pinching every inch of his ribs and sides.

What leaves Dean next is less words and more a verbal error noise. He arches away, desperately shoving at Cas’s shoulders. All he does is turn himself around, and Cas is very quick to wrap him up in his arms. His fingers press into Dean’s lower stomach and trip over one another like he’s gliding over piano keys. 

Dean curls, arms folded over his middle. Cas manages a cheeky pinch to the back of Dean’s thigh and he squeaks--apparently Cas likes that noise because an avalanche of more pinches follow. 

Dean doesn’t expect him to find that devastating spot near his armpit on the first fucking try, but Cas is full of surprises and Dean is full of laughter. He clamps his arms to his sides but it barely makes a difference. Fireworks overwhelm his nervous system. In Cas’s arms, he feels like he’s flying--but he can’t tell if it’s the lack of air or the endolphins. Endorphins. Whatever. 

“Cas!” His name floats out of Dean, blanketed in crinkly-eyed, heartwarming laughter. It’s all he wants to hear for the rest of eternity. 

“You are everything to me.” Cas doesn’t expect Dean to hear him over his near-violent giggles, but Dean squeezes his wrist twice to acknowledge him where his voice can’t. His fingers slow, gently trailing over pinkened skin, and Dean slowly remembers how to breathe. 

“We can renegotiate the name thing. Maybe,” Dean wheezes, and his shit-eating grin is nearly audible. Cas rolls his eyes and scribbles at Dean’s exposed hip, following each turn, twist, and twitch. For the first few moments, he’s concerningly quiet, only squirming with strangled noises, but within seconds his laughter catches back up with his brain and he’s cackling into the mattress. 

“Maybe? Is that your final answer?”

“Nonono, please Cas!” Dean shrieks, kicking his legs as if it will help. He flails all the way to the edge of the bed but Cas is quick to pull him back into his arms. His tickly touch turns calming in an instant, tracing over muscle lines and battle scars as they both resettle. 

“We’ll work on it. Together.” Cas flips him over and steals a quick kiss, drinking up the leftover laughter. Dean’s joy is sweet on his tongue. 

“Together,” Dean murmurs, leaning their foreheads together. 

Holding his lover—Castiel, his Castiel—in the moonlight is all that Dean Winchester-Novak could ever ask for.

There was happiness in the having, after all. 

[nuatthebeach]

New Ginny

Link to AO3 for comments/reviews

"You know this was not what we had in mind for a low budget vacation, Winston!"

"You said you wanted to go somewhere you couldn't find at home."

"So, why would you take us to the beach all the way across the country, man?!" Sand shot in the air as an angry kick on the shore was executed effortlessly by the man Schmidt himself. "We live in freakin' LA! There's beaches crawling out of everywhere! And you wonder why no one lets you choose any of our vacation spots anymore, ya freak."

Cece threw up a hand in exasperation, diamond ring winking in the sun. "Yeah, why didn't you just tell us we were going to the beach, Winston? We could have saved a lot by just taking a car nearby instead of you surprising us with these 'low cost' plane tickets."

"See, you guys don't get it. I told y'all we were going on a cheap trip we ain't never done before, right?" Winston's smile brightened, the look of misguided, twisted comedy overtaking his expression with alarming speed. "And then, boom, I took y'all to the beach. On the East Coast. Ha! You just got Bishoped!"

Nick shook his head, right hand rubbing wearily against his face, looking just as tired as the rest of them. "You've gotta stop with your pranks, man."

"Y'all should've seen the look on my face - "

"Y- Seen the look on your face?"

The only word to describe the look on Schmidt's face was 'flabbergasted.'

" - When I swiped y'all's credit credit cards last month as you were all arguing with Nick over that Flat Earth theory video on YouTube - "

"When they asked the guy about his qualifications, he answered 'critical thinker'! Does that sound like someone who would just lie to you?!"

" - And for your only holiday weekends too! And, man, Nick is so broke right now! I was trying so hard to hold it in!" Winston was absolutely beaming with mirth at this point, reducing his friends' sense of camaraderie towards him to a terrifying low. "You know, you guys should really be checking your billing history more often, for real, someone could really be stealing from you, and you'd have no idea."

Before Winston could register Schmidt's increasingly tomato red face, something else in his periphery caught his attention. "Damn it, Ferguson, don't go near that water! It is not your friend, baby!"

"What type of idiot lets a cat roam free on the beach!"

While Cece attempted to alleviate the pressure between Schmidt's tightly clenched teeth, an irritated look overpowering her own, a low voice spoke from behind. "Are your friends always like this?"

Ginny, who had been laughing at her loftmates' antics and was surprisingly not feeling as bothered by Winston's tendencies as the rest of them (this vacation is, after all, well-deserved after the shitty week I've had, and every second counts, even if they are each spent planning Winston's upcoming ultimate demise), turned around to see an incredibly fit man her age speaking to her directly.

Sweeping her eyes over his form once, she leaned closer. "I'm afraid they are, yes, but I've got to warn you I'm not much better."

He seemed equally as amused as her. "How so?"

"Well, as you can tell from my completely American accent," she deadpanned in her British accent, amused when the stranger rolled his eyes in response, "my sense of humor is a bit dry. Superior, of course, but I'm told some people can't handle it."

"Natural selection will handle that, I hope," he chuckled.

"If we're lucky," she smiled. Feeling particularly introductory that late afternoon, she gestured halfheartedly to the obnoxious chatter several meters ahead of her. "My loftmates here, on the other hand, each have an equally questionable sense of humor themselves."

"Who, those few?"

She rolled her eyes, failing to prevent the corner of her lips from quirking upwards. Pointing to the man who was now dragging an increasingly wet and agitated cat from the Atlantic ocean, his jeans completely soaked from the knees down, Ginny drawled, "That idiot over there who cost us a proper, well-earned vacation is Winston. The only thing this man loves more than crazy pranks is his even crazier cat, who I'm pretty sure doesn't even know he exists. Needless to say, I've really never been more envious of a cat's attention span myself."

Moving on to Schmidt and Cece who were lying on the shore as far away from Winston as much as possible as a form of spite, Ginny explained matter-of-factly, "Schmidt and Cece don't have a cat, but that won't stop them from also making ear infection-inducing noises at six in the morning through our paper thin walls."

Pointing to the last couple on the beach, she continued, "Not like Nick and Jess are any better, though. They like to make weird noises too, but it's not always during sex, and that scares me more than it should anyone, really."

She gestured to herself. "And last but not least, you have me, whose most normal experience of today is having a fit guy at the beach wonder out loud about how five idiots managed to drag their even more fit loftmate out of her comfortable bed and into an expensive five hour flight. Just to do the same things that I easily could have done if I just took a simple albeit very long stroll outside. And I would have had a much better view, too, no offense to your rather peculiar looking ocean over here. What shade of contaminated gray would you call that hue, by the way?"

"No, that's a pretty accurate way of describing it, actually. I'd like to think there is some green in there, though. Just to give it the illusion of appearing to be clean." Reluctantly, Ginny had to agree.

The stranger's lips pressed firmly in amusement the entire time she was talking - ranting, more like - clearly trying to not give her the satisfaction of knowing how funny and charming he thought she was.

She found that endearing. They all try at first.

Eventually, he settled with: "So you and, uh, Winston, are the only two people in the loft who are not coupled up?"

She raised an eyebrow, impressed by his nerve. "Pretending to ignore your intentions for asking such a tactfully worded question, no, actually, when Winston's not too busy canoodling with his cat, he's canoodling his girlfriend - Aly - back at home, but she couldn't make it here today, lucky girl. So it's just me."

Finally smiling now, the stranger ignored her challenging look ('why are you so curious about my relationship status, you hot, inquisitive, none-of-your-business stranger?') and asked her teasingly, "Aren't there a lot of people to fit in just one loft?"

"I mean, we're from LA. Rent there is mad, so we need all the help we can get," she shrugged. "But, yeah, most definitely breaking some housing rules here or there. Is that something that bothers you?"

He smiled, something akin to arrogance taking over his face. She found that look more stirring than she'd like to admit out loud. "You'll find I'm not really the rule caring type."

"Oh? When would you imagine I'd be finding that out?"

She was beyond the point of caring how brazen she must have sounded to a complete and utter stranger. And if she was being honest with herself, she never did care, really. Besides, if she was going to fit a hot summer romance in the span of a whole day, she thought she might as well get on with it.

He cleared his throat, his gaze silently indicating how much he'd like to agree with her on that one, too. "Okay, Miss Dry Humor. I guess I know everything there is to know about your loftmates without risk of my mind being fully blown apart, now. What's your story?"

"What's yours?"

He chuckled at her retort though immediately furrowed his eyebrows afterward, as if he was confused by this question himself.

Ginny did not know what to think of that, though she found a strange fog overtaking her when she tried to ponder on her own personal history too.

Strange.

Instead, she prompted, trying to clear her mind, "You're a lifeguard here, right?"

He looked down at his form, a lanyard draped across his increasingly interesting collarbone and a whistle resting just above his bare chest.

"I can't swim."

She blinked.

"What?" she laughed. "Isn't that, like, a hazard for what you do?"

"Probably," he said sheepishly, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. "I don't mean to, like, put anyone in danger or anything. It's a long story, but basically, I'm covering for my friend while he's, um...making noises with his girlfriend, as you said. Hence, the whistle right here. So I'm not really a lifeguard. But if anything happens, my other friend - an actual reliable lifeguard - can help you out. He's right over there nearby."

He pointed to another dark-haired, attractive man standing farther away from them along the shore. At first, Ginny thought he was winking at her, but when she saw the tension building along the shoulders of the stranger next to her, she knew who that teasing look was meant for.

"Sorry about him. He thinks I'm trying to make a move on you."

"Oh? Is that not what's happening right now?"

His cheeks flushed slightly. Ginny found it amusing how this man could be so confident but also so shit at flirting too. It strangely caused warmth to expand, but this time it was not through her lower belly.

"I don't want him to think that, though. I'd never hear the end of it."

It was not a direct answer to her question, but his eyes were so soft and mischievous that she had no doubt as to what he really meant.

She rolled her eyes anyway. "I thought you Americans were supposed to be more direct than that."

He scoffed, eyes lighting up at her jibe. "Oh, I see. You're one of those. Dry humor doesn't have to equate to being mean, you know."

Ginny laughed. "Well, that's why my loft arrangement works out so well with this lot over here," she jabbed her thumb to her friends, watching as Ferguson was attempting once more to drown himself in the ocean to escape his owner's clingy attentiveness. "My sense of humor is mean and dry, and their sense of humor compensates by being mean and wet."

He coughed. "Wet?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, pretending like she hadn't made any suggestive comment whatsoever. "Well, occasionally we do like to alternate, though."

"Of course."

"If I was always dry, and they were always wet, we'd have a different problem altogether."

He barked out a laugh, his cheeks flushing again. "How are you even real?"

"Well, anything's possible if you've got enough perv."

The man's breath hitched, his green eyes staring at her intensely. Despite her earlier insult, Ginny thought the color reminded her exactly of the ocean they were at now, something much stormier than the one back in California.

She found herself growing fond of this beach in a way she was not before.

"Do I know you? I swear I feel like I met you before."

She leaned closer to him, fighting feeling flustered herself. "I've probably got one of those memorable faces or something."

"Something like that." His eyebrows furrowed, but his lips were still upturned. "I'll certainly remember it much later today anyways."

His ears promptly reddened.

She gasped playfully, smiling as she hit him lightly on his very fit arm. "You are much smoother than you look. And randier."

He laughed. After a short while of them standing in a silence filled with smirks and silky sheet-like possibilities, he finally asked, "Okay, Miss Dry Occasionally Wet Humor - "

"Nice."

He bit back another chuckle. "What's your name?"

"What's yours?"

He rolled his eyes ("stubborn too"), he relented, "I'm Harry."

She chuckled, shaking his hand that was offered to her mockingly. She tried to ignore how well it fit in her own small one.

"Ginny."

He watched her nose crinkle, a deep smile spreading across both of their lips contentedly.

It was something tangible, she thought, as her insides fired up, not out of lustful heat - though certainly that too - but something warm, like receiving hugs after being shoved outside in a freezing tent in the woods for months and months, with nothing but a piece of marked parchment to keep one sane.

Parchment?

Something within her squirmed, and she thought that if she listened closely enough, the sounds of seagulls cawing in the distance could easily be replaced by something akin to an audience crooning in sympathy.

As if watching a pair of hopeless lovers on a silver screen.

Suddenly, Nick's comically high pitched scream filled the air, allowing Ginny to shake her head at her crazy thoughts.

"It's just a ghost crab, Nick!" Jess yelled from far away, annoyed as her boyfriend jumped on her back in fright, almost causing her to topple over herself.

"Why are there crabs and ghosts, Jess! You can't have both! You know I always told you that crustaceans are the cockroaches of the sea! It's a crazy world out here!"

At Jess's blank stare, Nick chuckled incredulously, his last brain cell firing meekly. "Wait. I get it. You're teasing me, Jess. Ghosts aren't real. Psh. Nice try."

Nick's neck cricked as he glanced around in paranoia.

Jess rolled her eyes, attempting to drop him down from her back but failing badly, his legs wrapped around her like a vice. "Ghost. Crabs. Nick. I don't know why you're even scared of them - they even walk sideways like you do!"

"They should not be blending in with the sand like that! They're all spooky ghosts! It's not right!"

"You. Are. So. Infuriating, Miller!"

As Nick hopped off of Jess to moonwalk away from the ghost crabs, a thought came to Ginny.

"They kind of remind me of..." Both Harry and Ginny said at the exact same time, causing them to stare at each other hastily.

When neither of them finished their sentences (what even was I going to say anyways?), Ginny huffed. "Right," she said, "Well, I've got to head back now before Nick finds out that it's getting late, which can only mean that more ghost crabs are bound to be crawling all over the place soon."

He laughed but quickly became alarmed when she made to leave. "Wait."

She turned around, hand cupping her forehead to squint at him through the waning sun. Harry swallowed, eyes drifting to her red hair in a daze.

Before he could say anything, however, Schmidt and Winston's obnoxiously loud voices were shrill above the sounds of the waves crashing ahead of them.

"Of all places for a prank!" Clearly, Schmidt's ability to let things go was about as weak as Ginny's right hook. "Why did you decide to take us here in the end?"

"As in, why the East Coast and not a beach in a whole other expensive ass country? Damn, now that would have been a better prank."

Four legs reached out to kick sand in Winston's face, Ferguson following with a screech.

"But to be honest, I couldn't wait to see what the sunset looks like on the other side of the country."

Pause.

"Winston! We are on the East Coast! The sun falls west at night time! Look at where the sun is now," Schmidt gestured aggressively behind him, where towering beach homes covered the view. "You can't see the freakin' sunset on this beach, man!"

"Aw, damn, my bad."

"How are you actually one of the more intelligent people I know in my life?!"

If there was one thing she and Schmidt shared, Ginny concluded, it was their inability to handle rage.

Her eyes flitted to Jess, who was trying to catch her attention.

Ginny chuckled, holding up a hand to let her loftmate know to wait there when she saw her smiling knowingly towards her and Harry. She watched as Jess's eyebrows waggled dramatically, stuffing her index finger through a hole she made with her other hand in repetition as she chomped down on her lip.

Completely unfazed by her loftmate's quirks at that point, Ginny turned to Harry again.

"If we can't do that sunset, I suppose I'll have to make plans for a sunrise tomorrow before we head back to LA, then. Join me?"

His answering smile could make a grain of sand feel alive.

She had the strangest feeling that the sound she could have sworn she heard a while ago was ringing faintly in her ear once more.

This time, she thought she heard boisterous whoops instead, clapping cheerfully as Ginny smiled one last time to Harry before finally walking toward her friends.

…

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[ssvgawara]

First Date Nerves

Summary: Atsumu shouldn’t be as nervous as he is to ask you out or for your date but he is. But you? You find it cute

WC: 1.3k

a/n: I needed to write some good Atsumu fluff for the soul, also so I could avoid my work because I deserved a break. Also I’m a sucker for cute first dates especially what I’ve written (no spoilers ;) )

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It’s honestly cute how nervous he is.

Atsumu is standing there stuttering over his words and you’re waiting for him patiently. You giggle a little bit watching him and he notices getting a little defensive.

“Hey! Why are ya laughing? I’m pouring out my feelings for ya and yer over there gigglin’” Atsumu crossed his arms a pout forming on his lips. You giggled again

“I’m sorry but you’re just too cute. You’re so confident on the court but the moment you try and talk about your feelings you clam up. It’s cute”

“So ya think I’m cute?” Atsumu said his attitude suddenly changing his signature grin on his face.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night” you laughed nudging his shoulder lightly which made him give a short yelp and rub the spot you hit, acting as if it hurt. You see right through this and just laugh some more.

“I’d sleep better knowing yer going on a date with me this weekend,” He finally got his initial question out. You gave him a large smile.

“Well we couldn’t have you not sleeping well could we?” You grinned agreeing to the date without a forward yes.

“I’ll pick you up Saturday around noon, wear something cute,” He winked, but internally he was screaming at the fact that you had agreed to a date with him. Sure he has a plan but he didn’t think he’d make it this far.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It’s Saturday morning

Even though Atsumu said he’d sleep better knowing he was getting his date with you he hadn’t slept a wink the previous night. He had the perfect plan to make this date perfect and he hoped you would love it.

What he has yet to realize is that any moment you spend with him is perfect. He’ll find that out later.

But that’s for later, back to the present.

Atsumu’s standing in front of his closet trying to decide what to wear. He thought this was only a problem girls have. After staring pitifully into the closet hoping for his clothes to begin speaking to him, telling him what he should wear he finally pulled out an outfit the worked.

Getting ready he looked at the time realizing he was running behind and he’d have to rush to make it to you by noon.

God he hoped you were struggling as much as he was.

In reality, while you had your own nerves things were going okay. You had spent the morning taking your time to get ready. Granted you were a little confused by what he meant by cute, you had ended up going with an outfit that was good for just about any outing.

Around noon a quick knock on your door signaled the arrival of your date. Collecting your things you answered the door to find Atsumu out of breath.

“Did you run here?’

“No.”

You obviously knew he was lying but shrugged it off instead choosing to tilt your chin and point to the bag he was carrying.

“What’s with the bag?” You questioned shutting the door and stepping outside beside the blond.

“It’s a surprise now c’mon I have the best date ever planned,” You gave a small laugh as he grabbed your hand and pulled you a long refusing to tell you his plan.

He wouldn’t tell you because he was secretly scared you’d hate it. He’d worked so hard to make it perfect and something you’d both enjoy. You couldn’t tell but he was nervous. He refused to let go of your hand, scared that if he et go you’d notice how shakey he was.

Eventually after a short a walk the two of you arrive at a park. It seemed mostly empty save for another couple walking down a worn path.

“I thought we could have a picnic,” Atsumu spoke up nervously rubbing the back of his neck. He looked up to gauge your response.

It almost felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest when a smile lit up your face. You crashed into him bringing him into a hug.

“I love it ‘Tsumu” You said pulling away from him.

“Don’t go falling in love with me before this date even begins,” he joked leading you over to a clearing. He set the bag he had been carrying down and pulled out a blanket for the two of you to sit on.

“I bothered ‘Samu for days before he finally helped me make these,” Atsumu mumbled a small smile on his face as he pulled out two bentos. The two of you sat on the blanket facing each other, he handed you one of the bentos shyly which you took.

“Y’know ‘Tsumu based on your confidence on the court one would think you wouldn’t be this nervous going on date.” You said casually before opening the bento. It smelled and looked great and you were excited to dig in.

He shrugged, “I didn’t think I would be nervous either but ya just have that effect on me I guess,” He said  before taking a bite, “Hey, I didn’t do half bad.”

You gave a short laugh as he praises his own cooking before taking a bite of yours and nodding in agreement, “You’re right you didn’t do half bad.”

“Noooo, yer supposed to say ‘wow ‘Tsumu this is best thing I’ve ever eaten thank ya for this amazing food and great date,’” He said with a whine, you only laughed.

“Let’s make it through the date before I say anything like that.”

And from that the two of you talked while eating. It was full of jokes and laughs. Especially when Atsumu choked on his food laughing to hard at a lame joke you had said. Thing settled down after that. That is until you saw a set of swings in the distance. Atsumu caught you staring and grinned.

“I bet I can swing higher than ya.”

“You’re so on”

And with that the two of you took off, runnig towards the swing set, both of you bound and determined to win. You got on the swing and began to kick your legs with all your might to get higher than Atsumu, but curse his long legs, he was already higher than you. You gave a slight pout just working harder to get higher than him.

“It’s not fair your legs are longer than mine,” You whined with a pout. You continued to push yourself higher. You looked over and noticed your date was no longer next to you. Until a set of hands grab the swing chains right above yours. 

You leaned back enough to see Atsumu standing behind you, “Awe are you gonna push me/” You ask with a grin.

“Not if ya keep messing with me,” He said before pulling you back and pushing the swing forward, pushing you high up into the air. You squealed with laughed feeling the air around you. You felt like a little kid again, “Higher!” You yelled in the excitement, feeling Atsumu’s hands on your back as he pushes you. Eventually he slows down and you come back to the ground, your laughing and you look disheveled from the wind pushing against you but you look happy. And seeing you like that has Atsumu grinning just as much as you are.

You leaned back some to look up at Atsumu while he tilted his head down to look at you. Seeing the joy in your eyes brought him joy. He wanted to feel this type of happy forever. 

It was in that moment Atsumu made an impulsive decision.

He leaned down just enough for your lips to meet. It was a bit of an awkward angle but it was alright, you tasted of the meal you had had earlier and your lips were cool and chapped from the wind. But it worth it. You kissed back, and it was worth it. You two separated and you smiled.

“Don’t fall in love with me before this date is over.”

[nevernotwriting]

You, Me, and Yancy | Chapter 13: Breakout

Read me on AO3!

Previous chapter

It was nightfall. You were sat in your car in the same spot as earlier in the day with your stomach in knots.

This was the moment of truth.

You took a deep breath and stepped out into the cool night air, making your way to the side of the building. The sight of the iron gate brought fresh memories flooding back to you. You could almost see yourself curled up at the base of the tree nearby again, debilitating over what to do. All you could do now was hope that Yancy would be here soon.

The sound of a car stopping nearby pulled you out of your thoughts. You frowned in confusion as Vakarian and Mark climbed out, wandering over to you.

Mark scratched the back of his head and averted his eyes, offering a small smile. You folded your arms.

“What’s with the backup?” You asked as Vakarian slung a sniper rifle over one shoulder and unzipped his duffel bag. He glanced up at you and Mark, then quickly took great interest in the bag’s contents.

“I figured it might be a good idea, in case things get ugly,” Mark responded.

You nodded. “Fair enough, but it won’t. Yancy knows the place inside out, he’ll be able to slip out unseen.”

Mark frowned, contemplating his words. “Zero… how long has he been in here, exactly?”

You shrugged. “A while, I guess. He got locked up for murder-”

Mark’s eyes widened.

“But he didn’t do it!” You exclaimed. “He’s done some bad shit, but so have we. But he’s no murderer.”

Mark deflated a little, pinching the bridge of his nose. “All right. Let’s just get this over with before I have a heart attack.”

Vakarian strode towards the two of you, popping gum and acting as nonchalant as ever. He locked eyes with you and smiled, offering his hand to shake. You took it with a friendly nod, trying not to stare at the bright pink gum protruding from between his teeth.

“Good to see you in one piece, Zero.”

“Thanks, Vakarian. Mark give you the lowdown?”

He nodded. “I’m gonna get a better vantage point in that tree. Care to join me?”

You looked at Mark, feeling a pang of guilt seep into your chest. Despite still being mad at him, you didn’t want to leave him alone when he’d agreed to help you.

Mark smiled at you, more genuine than before. “Go ahead, I’ll keep an eye out on the ground level. Might wait in the car though, it’s a little chilly tonight.”

Vakarian chuckled and tossed a small two-way radio to Mark from his duffel bag. “Take this. We’ll tell you if we see anything.”

Mark nodded, his eyes darting to you one more time before he climbed back into his car. You sighed and followed Vakarian. He swung himself into the tree with little effort and held a hand out to you.

“Come on up, short stack.”

“Just cause you’re six foot seven,” you scoffed as you hoisted yourself up and got comfy.

“Exactly. When you’re as tall as me, everyone’s a short stack,” he chuckled.

You shook your head, getting yourself comfy as Vakarian positioned the radio between the two of you. He rooted through his bag and handed you a pair of binoculars. Though you hadn’t spent much time with him outside of HQ, you were grateful for his company now as you peered over the edge of the prison walls, nerves seeping into your veins. The radio buzzed.

“You guys in position?” Came Mark’s fuzzy voice.

Vakarian picked up the device. “Yep. No sign of jailbird just yet.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Jailbird?”

He shrugged as he placed the radio back down. “Mark’s idea.”

With a snort, you passed him the binoculars and decided to change the subject.

“So… how’ve things been?”

Vakarian popped his gum again as he contemplated the question. “Pretty tense. Shark’s been on a rampage ever since you got locked up, bludgeoning everyone in her path. Mark’s return barely pacified her cause he came back empty handed. Jasmine took a couple days off just to get out of her way.”

He lowered the binoculars again and looked at you. “Everyone’s been really worried about you, though. Especially Mark. He said you got shot?”

Guilt ran through you again, but you pushed it down. “Yeah, but it’s fine. Still healing, but I’m fine.”

“Good.”

Vakarian returned to looking through the binoculars. You rubbed your hands together as the wind whipped between the tree branches, the sound of bristling leaves filling the air. Anxious, you peered over his shoulder to try and catch a glimpse of anything, or anyone.

“You see anything yet?”

“Not yet. But no guards, either.”

You inhaled a shaky breath and peddled your legs back and forth, trying to distract your mind from the worst-case scenario. Vakarian placed the binoculars down and snapped his head towards you suddenly. Even underneath his curls, you could tell his eyebrows were knitted together.

“So,” he began, chewing his gum fiercely. “What’s the deal with this guy, anyway? He like a relative or something?”

Your face grew warm. “I thought you said Mark gave you the lowdown.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t elaborate much on this guy we’re breaking out. He said his name’s Yancy or something? And that was about it.”

“Yeah, Yancy,” you replied. The image of him on the other side of the gate flashed through your mind as you said his name, a metallic taste entering your mouth. “He’s… I care about him. And he doesn’t deserve to be in there.”

Vakarian let out a deep, rumbling laugh, the gum nearly falling out of his mouth. He shook his head at you. “Riiight, I see.”

“What?”

“Nothin’, just connectin’ some dots.” He blew a gigantic pink bubble, letting it pop around his mouth.

“Can you please take this seriously?” You grumbled. “Do you have to chew gum right now?”

“Helps me concentrate if I have to shoot,” he replied with a carefree smile.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. If you weren’t so on edge, you’d have laughed.

The radio buzzed again with Mark’s voice. “It’s been ten minutes, guys.”

Your stomach dropped and you bit your lip. Sensing your nerves, Vakarian checked through the binoculars again.

“Zero, how long did it take you to get out when you escaped?” Mark asked.

You picked up the radio. “Uh… shit, I don’t know,” you sighed. There were too many clouds in your mind to remember, and your escape had been shrouded in darkness – it could have been anywhere from five to fifty minutes, for all you knew.

“Don’t worry. We’ll stick around a bit longer, yeah?” Vakarian reassured you, offering the binoculars. You snatched them up with an anxious noise of agreement as he took the radio.

“You get that, Mark?”

“Loud and clear.”

Time passed by, and the night was only getting colder. Vakarian tried to keep you distracted with small talk, but you still bit your lip to the point of bleeding. A sudden crackle from the radio startled you, making you almost fall out of the tree.

“Guys… it’s been nearly thirty minutes.”

Vakarian ceased his incessant chewing and shot you a concerned look. Before he could give any kind of reassurance, you shuffled to the edge of the branch and leapt out of the tree, hitting the ground with a thud. You cast one final glance at the gate, your eyes filling with tears, then turned to trudge back to your car.

Mark leapt out of his car when he saw you approaching.

“Zero, I-”

“Yeah, you told me so. Save it, Mark,” you snapped, folding your arms and staring at the ground.

Mark shuffled on the spot, fiddling with the radio in one hand. “I… I was just gonna say I’m sor-”

The radio crackled.

“Guys?”

Your head snapped up, and you quickly wiped your tears as Mark spoke into the radio.

“What is it?”

“There’s someone at the gate.”

You didn’t need to hear those words twice. Your feet sprinted to the gate faster than your brain could comprehend. A familiar figure in a white shirt and striped trousers was unlocking the gate.

Yancy closed the gate after him, the sound of clanging metal echoing. He stared through the bars, gently letting go of them and dusting off his hands. When you were a few feet away, you came to an abrupt halt.

“Yancy!”

He whipped round, his eyes suddenly focused. He smoothed a hand over the tattoo on his arm. A soft smile appeared.

“Hey.”

You laughed apprehensively and took a step closer, a whole new set of nerves entering your body. Your eyes flicked to the ground.

“I didn’t think you were gonna show.”

Yancy exhaled. “Yeah, I… sorry for the wait. Couldn’t leave the gang without a leader, ya know?”

You nodded and chewed your lip, mentally kicking yourself for getting so worked up. Before you could say anything more, Yancy spoke again.

“Don’t worry, Zero. I wasn’t gonna leave yous.”

His words rippled through you like a lightning bolt. Before you could stop yourself, you ran to him and wrapped your hands around his shoulders. He staggered but held you just as tightly in return, chuckling in your ear.

A loud thud sounded as Vakarian exited the tree, and the two of you pulled apart.

“You brought backup?” Yancy asked.

“Yeah. This is Vakarian.”

Vakarian stopped. “You’re Yancy?”

“The one and only,” Yancy replied, holding his hand out. Vakarian took it with a curious grin. You turned to see Mark approaching with his hands in his pockets, and silence fell over the four of you.

“And… this is Mark.”

Yancy’s gaze steeled in an instant as he looked Mark up and down. Mark offered a brief smile that quickly disappeared as Yancy folded his arms. You held your breath.

Thankfully, Vakarian broke the tension.

“Huh. You two look kinda similar.”

Mark and Yancy stared at him, both equally bewildered.

“Do we?” Mark finally spoke.

“I always thought so,” you offered.

Yancy frowned with a low grunt. “I don’t see it.”

More silence.

“Oookay, well…” Vakarian cleared his throat. “Looks like our job’s done. Zero, I assume you can take it from here?”

You nodded. “Y-yeah, thanks guys. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Mark’s eyes lit up for the first time. “You’re coming back?”

“I think so,” you replied. “Anyway. Yancy, d’you need somewhere to stay?”

Yancy blinked out of the death glare he was still directing at Mark, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks as he looked at you. He scratched the back of his neck with a nervous laugh.

“I uh… yeah. Didn’t really think ahead of the prison walls, to be honest.”

Mark snorted, but averted his gaze when you glared at him. You turned back to Yancy.

“That’s fine, you can stay with me if you like.”

Yancy smiled. “Yous sure?”

“Yeah, come on!”

With a spring in your step, you walked towards your car, Yancy following behind. You shouted goodnight to Mark and Vakarian, but their car doors slammed shut just as you turned around.

Yancy was visibly more relaxed now it was just the two of you, seeming content to quietly watch the world go by until you arrived at your apartment.

“Well, here we are.” You unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Yancy’s eyes darted everywhere, and you wrung your hands together.

“It’s not much, but it’s home.”

Yancy turned to you and smiled. “Believe me, it’s the nicest place I’ve seen in ten years.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Ten years?”

“Yeah, did I never tell yous? Well… would’ve been longer… if it weren’t for yous.” He smiled, and heat rose to your face.

“Come on, I’ll show you around.”

You led him to your spare room. He inspected all of your various decorations and picture frames, taking a particular shine to a small photo of you on your graduation day with your parents smiling proudly on either side of you.

“This is nice,” he said with a smile that quickly faded. “I was in theatre school, before… well…”

“Maybe you’ll get to go back.”

Yancy glanced up at you and placed the picture back down. “Maybe.”

“Anyway, there’s some spare clothes on the bed over there. They’re Mark’s, but they should fit you. Bathroom’s across the hall if you want to use it.”

Yancy walked over to the bed and picked up the clothes, inspecting them with a raised eyebrow.

“Are yous sure he ain’t your boyfriend?”

You sighed and rolled your eyes. “Yes, I just had to borrow them after I got out.”

“I was just teasin’ yous,” Yancy snickered with a wink.

“Right,” you laughed, leaving him to it.

Ten minutes later you were back in the kitchen, throwing together some semblance of food for the two of you. Broadway songs echoed from down the hall where Yancy was singing away to himself in the shower. You paused for a moment, relishing in the feeling of a plan finally going off without a hitch. A twinge of guilt still hit you when you thought about Mark, but your heart soared knowing that Yancy was finally out, getting another shot at life.

Yancy walked into the kitchen just as you were serving up two bowls of pasta. He was wearing the clothes you’d borrowed from Mark, running his hands through his damp hair. You stopped in your tracks and blinked.

“What?”

You shook your head. “Nothing. Here, you hungry?”

You slid a bowl of pasta across the counter top in his direction. He stared down at it as if it were a foreign object.

“Yous made that for me?”

His question caught you off guard. “Well, technically for both of us, cause I haven’t eaten much today. But… yeah.”

His voice was quiet when he spoke again. “You know I said yous sure are one of a kind?”

Your stomach flipped, but you brushed it off. “It’s just pasta, Yancy.”

“I stand by what I said.” He stepped closer to you.

Your breath hitched in your throat as he wrapped his arms around your waist, settling his head on your shoulder. You returned the gesture, one of your hands touching the edge of his hair. Either Yancy was incredibly warm, or your skin was on fire.

He withdrew and held you in his arms, your breath still caught in your throat. The clock on the wall ticked on in the everlasting silence as his eyes flicked briefly to your lips, your hand shifting to his shoulder as he tightened his grip on your waist-

Your phone buzzed on the counter top, cutting through the silence. Yancy’s hands dropped from your waist with an awkward clear of his throat. You grabbed your phone, unlocking it with a long exhale.

“Sorry. It’s Mark, he’s asking about work stuff.” You sighed, running a hand down your face. “I gotta go in tomorrow and face the music.”

Yancy hummed in understanding, his face pursed in thought.

“Yous want me to go with you? I can ruff ‘em up if yous need me to,” he chuckled, cracking his knuckles.

“I don’t think beating up my boss is gonna help me keep my job, Yancy,” you laughed. “Though it would be satisfying.”

Another pause, until Yancy’s face lit up with a new idea.

“D’yous think… yous got room on your team for one more criminal?”

You blinked. “I mean… probably, but you only just got out of prison. Are you sure you wanna go straight back to a life of crime?” You cringed at your own words. “Sorry, forget I said that. I’m the last person who should be saying that.”

Yancy laughed. “No harm done. So what d’ya say? I convince your boss lady – Shark, yous said she was called?”

You nodded, flattered he had remembered such a small detail from one of your previous conversations.

“I convince Shark that I can be part o’ the team, but only if she lets you off the hook. Then yous and I can be partners in crime.”

The boldness of his suggestion made your head spin, but you couldn’t deny it sounded pretty damn good. Sensing your train of thought, Yancy broke out into a grin.

“All right, Yancy. You got a deal.”

Next chapter

[colorfullfalls]

Me & You- part 2

Summary: Harry and Y/N have been dating for a few months when Michael invites them over for a small dinner party.

Chocolate cake, double decker, vanilla frosting with the words “Let’s be fucking happy” on top sat upon the large marble counter. Old friends leaned around it discussing memories and ideas, laughing often and smiling even more.

Shoes messily scattered Michael’s walk in room where his guests hastily discarded them- caring more about hugs than shoe placement. Coats were thrown over the bench beside the door, the top two close to toppling over on the floor. Michael and Crystal didn’t mind at the hint of a mess. In fact no one even really noticed, besides Y/N.

She bent over at the hip as she grabbed matching pairs of shoes and lined them up together neatly on the soft black rug. She hummed in satisfaction when the last pair was set in place. Her eyes caught sight of the coats and she moved to fix those into place too.

Truth was, she didn’t give a damn about the messiness of Mike’s house. Well she did, but that wasn’t what her issue was. Calum brought Maya to this stupid get together and she didn’t want to be around them just yet.

Over the months Calum and Y/N got back into the groove they experienced most of their lives, but this time without the romantic agony of pinning after the other helplessly at opposite intervals. The pair was good, but Y/N still didn’t really know Maya. Truth was she was too embarrassed after how Maya first saw her talk to Calum. That was the first impression and it was a rotten one.

Maya seemed nice and of course there wasn’t bad blood, but Y/N still felt like an outsider as she moved to organize the coats better. Maya and Calum came to these dinner parties in the months that Y/N was leaning on Harry for support.

The boys still invited Y/N to get together the whole time but she took the time away that she felt she needed to properly move on. And she loved the boys but the time away allowed her to heal and create a wonderful bond with Harry.

“Having fun down there?”

Y/N sheepishly set the coats down and craned her head upwards to look at the person standing above her.

Luke.

Y/N awkwardly laughed, letting go of the coats and letting her hands fall lamely into her lap. She was caught trying to distance herself from the group.

“Y/N, why are you in here organizing our belongings when you could be in the kitchen having wine and a good ole time?” He joked, blue eyes offering true friendship, consideration, and kindness.

Luke was always so freaking kind, just a really good friend all around.

“I don’t fit in anymore.” She mumbled in embarrassment, “I feel like... I don’t know, I was away for so long that I lost my spot.”

Luke sighed as he struggled to navigate his lanky body to sit with his knees up to his chest on the floor across from her. His back rested against the wall comfortably.

“Y/N, you’re our sister: we love you and you’ll always be one of us.. are we doing something particular to make you feel like this?”

Y/N shrugged, playing with the fray string on her favorite black and gray sweater. A sweater that Harry bought her the other day when she said she needed one. She kept slipping money in his wallet for it but he always caught her and demanded she take it back. Truth was, Harry spoiled her rotten.

“Not specifically. It’s not even your fault. I just feel like you guys have a groove now and I’m messing it up. It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly at all.” Luke’s hand grasped onto her knee and gave a comforting squeeze, “I’m glad you came tonight. We’re glad.”

Y/N smiled, nodding her head. “Okay.”

“Let’s go back into the kitchen.” He helped her stand and together they walked back to the kitchen.

Michael was laughing as he leaned over the counter, Crystal was rubbing his back lovingly as she giggled along with him. Calum was sitting on a barstool with Maya leaning against his left side, her arm wrapped around his neck, playing with the little tuffs of hair. Ashton and Kaykay were painting digging around in the fridge. Sierra turned when she heard the pair walk in and a charming smile graced her lips.

“There you are.” Sierra said, announcing the new entry into the kitchen.

Y/N blushed as she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall across from the counter, “I was organizing the shoes...”

Luke laughed, “Yeah she was, and the coats. Little nerd.” He pushed her and she fell into the wall. She smiled slightly as she pushed away his hands.

“We thought maybe Harry finally showed up.” Ashton said, turning from the fridge with a can of Pepsi in his hands. Kaykay grabbed the can from him and opened it, taking a sip and grinning.

“Nope, he should be here soon though. He was working out a song with Sarah.” Y/N explained, shuffling over to stand between Sierra and Crystal.

Crystal patted Y/N back as she walked over. The girls were really kind and understanding through out her trying to get over Calum. They would always invite her to girls nights and would call her regularly to check in and to distract her from the heart break. And they were her biggest supporters when they discovered that Harry and her were an item.

“Sarahs the drummer, right?” Cal asked, looking right into her eyes.

“Yeah, she’s an amazing drummer. And an even cooler person.”

“She seems so. One time I visited for a show and the guards wouldn’t let me backstage and she recognized me. Took me with her. She’s super nice.” Michael recalled the memory.

“Ha, me at your shows. One time the guard called me a groupie and wouldn’t let me in for the first half of your show until the members of Hey Violet realized I was missing. That was some bullshit.. but going back to Sarah, she’s honestly the best.”

“Oi, you can date her then.”

Harry stood in the doorway, two bottles of wine resting comfortable in his hands. His smug grin made him all the more attractive as he gazed into his girlfriends eyes.

Y/N felt the weight of the world fall off her shoulders as she took him in. He was so fucking beautiful. His jeans and gray hoodie looked casual and so domestic. She wanted to curl into him and explain that he made her feel more herself than when she was with anyone.

“Bout time you showed up with that wine.” Crystal said, moving around everyone to grab the two bottles as Mike grabbed the glasses from the top shelf.

Harry walked behind Y/N and slid his arms over her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her forehead and leaning his chin against her head. Her nose took in the natural smell of Harry, closing her eyes momentarily to let it settle the nerves.

“How’d it go at the studio?” She quietly muttered, leaning slightly against his tattooed arms. The very arms that were almost like home.

“Swell. We got most of the music written, I think you’d love the feel of it. Sarah made sure the rhythm was sturdy and it ties it all together.” He explained, nodding a thank you at Crystal as he bent over Y/N to grab her and him a glass of wine.

“That’s great, Har. I wish you’d let me hear it..” Y/N grabbed the glass and took a sip.

Harry snorted, taking a sip as well, “You will. When it’s finished, dork. Already told ya that.”

“Mi mi mi mi mi” she mocked, elbowing him lightly in the ribs, “all I hear when you talk.”

Maya burst into laughter, wine falling down her chin- hand coming up to cup it from falling on the floor. Calum smiled in confusion as she grabbed her a napkin.

“Y/N, you kill me. Your sass is unmatched.” She said, wiping her mess up. Maya smiled towards her and Y/N felt herself shooting one back.

“Yeah, it’s bloody endearing until it’s aimed at you.” Y/N knew Harry was bluffing because he was in love with everything about her. She knew this because he only told her every day.

“Imagine how we feel.” Ash deadpanned.

“You should feel lucky that you got to know me all of these years, and especially since I put up with your boyish bullshit for years while on tour. A moment of peace never existed.”

Ashton blushed, crossing his arms, “Yeah, yeah. Rub it in some more that you took care of us like a mom.”

“I’d say so. You guys would crawl in my bunk when you were home sick.” Y/N said, finishing her wine in one big gulp, “play with my hair, Y/N. Rub my back, Y/N. Talk about home, please, Y/N/N.”

“Wow, thanks for fucking exposing our manly composures in front of our women!” Michael yelled, throwing someone’s IPhone charger at her.

Harry’s reflexes must’ve kicked in because his hand grasped the thick cord before it could come in contact with his lover’s face. She hummed in appreciation, slipping her hand under his sweater and rubbing her thumb over his arm.

“Babe, we are well aware that you guys are softies. She didn’t expose shit. I’m sure she could if you really wanted her to-“

Before Crystal could finish all the boys were quickly shouting out no. Y/N knew the darkest dirtiest, most horridly embarrassing moments of them and they rather not share those right now.

“What’s with the cake?” Harry asked as he set his wine glass down and moved away from Y/N to get a better look at it. He chuckled in amusement as he read the lettering upon the creamy frosting.

“A lot is happening in our lives, and I figured we could just take a night to celebrate our success, happiness, friendship, and creativity. You’re all beautiful and deep souls that I’m glad to have the pleasure of knowing.” Sierra said, wrapping her arms around one of Luke’s.

Sierra’s words were genuine and Y/N felt emotional. She was dumb to think that she wasn’t loved anymore by her friend group. They were good, loyal people that saw her heart and adored her as she was. Awkward tension between her and Cal for a few months wouldn’t ruin the unconditional bond. She felt guilty for pushing herself back in the first place. It wasn’t fair to the group and especially not Calum and Maya.

Y/N should’ve been honest about her feelings. Calum deserved to have known and instead it blew up in her face. She was attempting to shelter herself but her lack of actions was really what wounded her.

Shit worked in crazy way. First heartbreak and then a euphoric relationship with Harry motherfucking Styles? Y/N knew things worked out in the way it was meant to. And she felt bad that so much time was wasted when she could’ve gotten to still see Calum and created a friendship with Maya.

Y/N’s eyes wandered to Calum’s as cheering of concurrent glee filled the kitchen. His brown eyes held the upmost love as his lips quirked into a small smile. He made a kissy face and she let out a content sigh.

Kissy face was their signal of saying “I love you, you’re my best friend.”

It was created when they first started touring and they were embarrassed to say it in front of the boys. The action was used at the most important times when sometimes the words wouldn’t mean as much as the mere gesture.

Y/N made a kissy face back, feeling her lips tremble a bit from trying not to cry from the emotions of relief and joy flood through her veins.

“Cut this bitch up! I wanna slice. The one on that corner? Fuck yeah. Dibs.” Ash said, poking his finger in it to seal the spoken claim.

Calum laughed, dropping his head into his hand. Y/N playfully rolled her eyes at the duo. Ashton could blink and Calum would find it hilarious. The two men shared a beautiful companionship. Y/N knew that she was calums best friend, but after her was Ashton followed closely by Roy, Luke, and Mike tied.

“Nasty.” Harry teased, “you gonna have some?” He asked the woman trapped again in his loving embrace.

“Yep, are you?”

Harry snorted, “My love, you underestimate me. Fuck, it looks so good, but not as good as you do all the time.”

He grinned when she rolled her eyes, “Shut the fuck up and get your cake.”

A few hours later and the group switched to hangout in the living room. Board games were brought out along with wii games. Harry, Crystal, Luke and Sierra played Mario cart while Maya, Michael, Ash and Kay Kay played Sorry. Y/N and Calum watched in amusement.

Harry cursed at Luke as he got hit with a banana peel, “Fucking hell, Hemings.”

Calum shifted so that he could pull the cigarette pack from his pocket along with his beloved blue lighter. His eyes glanced to the balcony before he nudged the woman beside him.

“Y/N, wanna join me for a smoke?”

She knew what he meant. Not for her to actually smoke, but to talk alone for a few minutes while everyone was busy.

She nodded.

Y/N figured it would be chilly so she grabbed her jacket- well it was Harry’s that she loved to wear. Together they made their way onto the balcony of Michael’s house. She wrapped the material of her boyfriends coat close to her, slipping her hands into the pockets.

“Glad you came?” Cal asked, flicking his lighter three times before the flame stayed. The cigarette caught the light and he brought it to his plump lips.

“Yeah. Feels right to be back with you all... I’m so sorry that I hid from you guys. So fucking childish of me.”

Calum shook his head, “No, no don’t even apologize, bub. None of us blame you. And to be honest it’s partly my fault.”

Y/N scoffed, hands gripping the railing to ground herself, “It’s not.”

They sat in silence, not wanting to upset each other and start a fight that was pointless. Calum flicked ashes over the railing, his other hand not holding his cig was running through his hair.

Y/N crossed her arms, pulling the hood up over her head to cover her ears. Soft material swallowed her whole, providing a safety blanket.

“You and Harry- you just fit. I’ve never seen you act like that anyone. It was obvious that you felt sorta awkward but the second he walked in, you were back to being our Y/N.” Cal spoke, taking a hit.

Y/N shrugged, “I dunno; he’s like my comfort person now. Probably because it was just the two of us for so long. But I’m content with him.” Her eyes drifted to gaze in at the window. His brown curls could slightly be seen from the bulk of the couch.

“You love him?”

Y/N blinked in surprise, “I do love him. He’s...”

Calum chuckled at her lack of words, “Difficult to describe the intense feeling into lousy English words, huh?”

She blushed but meekly nodded, “Something like that. I imagine you know the feeling?”

Calum put out his cigarette and pulled his jacket closer to him, “Yeah. I’m not talking about Maya here though. Well, not yet. Im falling in love with her, but Y/N you’re my absolute favorite person in the world. You’re my family in ever sense of the meaning. Words can’t explain how sorry I am that I didn’t realize how you felt and that I hurt you.”

She stood up and pulled her best friend into a hug. His arms dangled around her torso as she shoved her head into his chest, taking in the familiar smoke smell.

“Maya seems super authentic Cal, and she’s like.. hot.” Y/N paused when she felt his body shake against hers from laughing, “I should’ve talked to you about it instead of getting angry. You deserve to be happy.”

“Promise I’ll be the maid of honor at your wedding?”

Y/N giggled, swaying them side to side as her cold hands went under the shirt of his back to warm them up. He jumped at the touch. She grinned at his reaction because she’s done it to him since they were little kids.

“Only if I’m your best man?”

Cal hummed, “Hell yeah, wouldn’t want anyone else.”

She nodded while elbowing him gently in the side, “good. It’s settled then.”

Y/N heard yelling inside and the two turned to see that Harry was dancing around Michael’s living room. His arms flared around in the air as he moved his body side to side. She knew that dance. It was a victory dance. The same one he would do when she agreed to wake up with him to watch the sunrise or when he would get all of pieces in home while playing sorry before her.

Harry turned around and cheekily smiled at her as he pointed at the tv and then himself and gave a joyful fist pump. She gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up in response.

“We better head back in.” She said, grabbing Calum’s arm and leading him inside.

“Love, I just kicked their asses!” Harry yelled, hitting Michael with a pillow. Harry cackled when Michael quickly plucked the pillow from him and threw it back with more force.

“You’re a goofball.” She said, crossing her arms.

Couple hours later everyone warmly hugged their goodbyes, slipped on coats and hats, and they walked out of Michael Cliffords house towards their own. Harry and Y/N were the last ones due to her being adamant on helping Crystal clean up. Harry and Michael had talked about FIFA as they attempted to help too but were more so in the way. The girls appreciated the gesture though.

Harry kissed Y/N a couple times instead of letting her get in her own car. Her muffled words kept getting shut off by his lips meeting hers.

“It’s almost like we have a house that we could make out in instead of my friend’s driveway, Har.” She said, pushing his face away with her hand like she did the first time he kissed her outside the poetry shop.

“Have to drive there first, hun. Takes too long.” He whined, his hands pulling her closer to his chest as his lips dragged across her neck, “What did Cal have to say on the balcony?”

She snorted as he nosed along her jawline, peppering kisses and moving his leg to rest in between hers. She ran her fingers along his arm until she intertwined her fingers with his.

He was jealous.

Harry would always ask her how it went when she met up with Calum. Y/N wasn’t dumb, Harry was scared that her feelings for her old best friend would randomly punch her in the face. Harry was hurt before and she understood that he was just scared of getting hurt again.

Especially since he has been in love with her since he was freshly eighteen years old.

“Just that he was glad that I came. Heart to heart about being best friends. I promised him he could be in our wedding if I was in his.” She said, halting Harry’s kissed against her skin.

His head snapped up so that his green eyes looked into her, “Our wedding?”

She nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

“If we’re in this for life, I’d figure it would happen sooner or later. I don’t know if I wanna wear a traditional white dress with you in a boring tux. I think our style is too spectacular for that normal shit. You look so good in vibrant colors, Har.” She whispered, squeezing his hand.

He seemed in a daze as he listened, nodding frequently in agreement, “You’d look amazing in anything as long as you’re walking towards me to meet me at the altar.”

“Yeah, you think?”

Harry laughed, “Yeah, I do.”

“I’ll marry you as soon as you show me that damn song. It’s driving me crazy, dude.” She said, pushing him away when he went in for another kiss that would turn into ten.

Harry was a lovey, touchy feely man, but she loved it. She loved him.

“You ruined one of the best moments of my life by calling me dude. Seriously, you’re killing me here. Cruel woman, you are.”

She shrugged, “I have my ways.”

“Go home!” Michael yelled out the window, making them separate quickly. Harry flipped him off before opening Y/N’s door and helping her in.

“I’ll see you at home, wife.”

Y/N cackled when Harry gently shut her door and saw him hurriedly got into his. She knew that tonight would be spent in each other’s arms with how absolutely thrilled he was to hear that she thought about their wedding.

She turned her car on and thanked Mother Nature for working her mysterious ways to make her life fit into place so perfectly.