#yeah I went back and edited the caption to make it even MORE clear that shipping them is not welcome here

[arcanadreams]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

[skekheck]

Theory: UrVa’s Arrows Were Originally Meant To Incapacitate, Not Kill, skekMal

Maybe this is common consensus, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. On the surface, it seemed like urVa had wanted to put an end to skekMal at the Circle of the Suns and the Hunter escaped before he could finish the job. But then there was this line in episode 10 that always felt odd to me:

urVa: I had a dream that I was one that became two that became one again. I looked through my dark half’s eyes and knew Aughra was right. [...] ...The Hunt must end. 

It’s just “but urVa, weren’t you doing just that a day or so prior?”. But then after rewatching their standoff again it hit me: maybe urVa’s intentions were not to kill skekMal but to incapacitate him.

Let’s look at the scene again

SkekMal was shot a total of three times: the first one through his upper arm, the second around the bottom right of his torso, and the last through his upper leg (possibly thigh?). 

(Sorry couldn’t find a better pic of his leg shot)

Weird places to aim for if urVa had wanted to kill him, right? Wouldn’t he have gone for targets that would more likely result in death, like the throat or through the eye sockets? It’s not like he would miss: urVa’s a master marksman. Instead, all three shots prevented (or at least was an attempt to stop) skekMal without taking his life.

The first shot prevented skekMal from harming Rian. The second was retaliation for ignoring the Archer’s warning. UrVa flat out told him to not approach the Gelfling but you see the Hunter take a step forward anyway, prompting him to release the second arrow. The final one was an attempt to stop skekMal from escaping with Brea. Seeing as how urVa immediately collapsed after firing that arrow, it would have worked. However, he underestimated how committed skekMal was to the Hunt, considering he pushed through the pain to get what he needed done.

Those arm and leg wounds aren’t inherently life-threatening. The arrow in his torso, though, is more concerning. It’s possible it could have had or at least be at risk of damaging his organs. Now, the Skeksis have weird-as-fuck anatomy (that goes without saying) so we have no real way of knowing if it was endangering him or not. But considering the nature of his other two wounds, I don’t think it was a kill shot. A more serious wound, but not deadly if tended to. And that’s probably what urVa intended: he aimed for that spot in the hopes skekMal would stop to take care of his wounds. 

But Weren’t Both skekMal and urVa In Critical Condition?

Oh yeah, they still were and skekMal’s partially to blame for it. It’s not a great idea to move around too much with arrows lodged in you. The arrow heads and shaft could move around and cause more internal damage. SkekMal moving made what would have been minor to moderate wounds way more serious. Not to mention, he never stopped to pull them out and heal himself: he kept those things in. 

And let’s not forget how far of a distance between the Circle of the Suns and the Castle is. There are multiple versions of maps of Thra that have some siginifcant differences, but the main point is those two locations are pretty far from each other. Even if he used Bennu to fly all the way over to the Castle, skekMal would still have to deal with Brea thrashing around on his back. And it looks like he took a detour to grab a cage for her, which he then dragged through the Castle’s corridors. Baiting Rian and his friends just so he can fulfill his Hunt was apparently more important to him than his well-being (which is ironic if you believe skekMal’s philosophy surrounding the Hunt is his own way of self-preservation).

EDIT: Wanted to add that skekMal was in a difficult position in terms of what he wanted. He would know that if he’d pull those arrows out he would have to treat them right away otherwise he’d bleed to death. At the same time, he would also had to keep Brea from escaping. I think he weighed his options and found that he’d had more success just pushing through it and keeping them in then treat them later. SkekMal might had also thought the other Skeksis would be able to treat him if it was serious enough? 

And SkekTek Made It Worse

SkekTek is no doctor. He can cut up and research on animals all he wants, but that doesn’t count as medical knowledge. It’s painfully obvious he has no idea what he’s doing: his diagnosis and treatment of skekMal’s condition is enough proof of that. And speaking of which, skekTek’s diagnosis is full of nonsense:

Skektek: Subject suffers severe exsanguination. Extreme distress to the humus. [...] Imbalance of intrinsic fluids. Manifold ruptures in corporeal morphology. [Checks for a heart beat] Ah. Ah... . Expiration... is... [dramatic pause] inevitable.

Literally he’s saying skekMal has multiple holes in his body and he’s bleeding out. You know, pointing out the obvious. Also, I tried finding out if “humus” related to anything biologically, but all I could find was it’s a term for... soil made of organic matter. I’m not sure what he was trying to refer to, I think he was just misusing it to make himself sound smart.

EDIT: I have been told by a few people that skekTek might be referring the humerus, which is a bone found in the upperarm that’s forms joints at the elbow and shoulder. This would make more sense and would mean skekTek made a proper diagnosis. However, at least to me, it still sounds like he’s saying humus. Another skeksis repeats him and they also say humus, not humerus. Turning on the captions also has it as humus. This could either be a typo or skekTek did mean humerus, but said humus instead. 

And how he actually treats skekMal is atrocious. 

He pulls the arrows out without making any attempts to stop the bleeding, clean the wounds, or apply stitches. He’s letting him bleed out and he should at least know they need blood to live. Do you know what happens when someone loses too much blood? Among other side effects, organ failure and falling into a coma. SkekTek did eventually made an effort to heal skekMal by giving him essence, but it was too little too late. SkekMal’s condition was so far gone at that point he really needed Aughra’s essence to survive.

UrVa’s Intentions

And now we’re going right back to urVa. While thinking over on urVa’s actions, I started wondering if he anticipated skekMal wouldn’t stay put and that the Hunter would do his own self in by moving around with the arrows lodged in him. I mean, urVa is a mystic, an indirect kill would make sense. But giving it more thought, I don’t think that’s the case. A lot of his actions during the series suggests otherwise. 

UrVa was very contemplative, even saddened, about having to end the Hunt for skekMal. He is not like his other half: he respected and appreciated all life on Thra. He also sees the cycle of life as well as the wilderness as something untamable. This is implied while he was talking with Aughra in episode 4:

urVa: We do not get to decide when our part in the song is finished.

While urVa is one of the more proactive Mystics, he still is... a Mystic. He doesn’t believe he should manipulate or control what goes on around him and let things be. The Bestiary book points to the fact that while urVa did keep tabs on skekMal, he never interfered with his hunts. So it was a big deal when Aughra quested him with the task of stopping skekMal. 

Also I’d like to point out urVa and Aughra’s final conversation because it’s also important for this discussion:

urVa; And where does my path lead? Aughra: Into the sands to face the Hunter. urVa: [sighing and looks away from Aughra for a moment] I cannot defeat my dark half. Aughra: You will find a way. But not without sacrifice.  urVa: And if I fail? Aughra: The heroes of Thra will be lost. urVa: Mm... [pauses and takes a deep breath] I will end the hunt. Aughra: Good. Get a move on. You Mystics are not known for your swift speed. We have much to do. [...] urVa: [pauses and looks at Aughra] Will we meet again, Aughra? Aughra: [stops walking, saddened] Hm... [faces him] Some things... even Aughra cannot see, old friend.  [urVa pauses and then groans, walks away from Aughra as they both parted ways for the final time]

He shows a lot of hesitance in completing this task. I’m sure he knew what Aughra was implying: that he may have to take skekMal’s life away but he still went and asked if they would meet each other again anyway. I think he was hoping for a positive answer, that it wouldn’t have to come to that, and seemed disheartened by her answer. But he still tried. He tried to stop skekMal in a way that, while not exactly peaceful, was not meant to be life-threatening. UrVa even pleads for him to stop... twice! The first time as skekMal was making his get-away and the second time while urVa helplessly watched him go after Rian again through the Hunter’s eyes. 

These two only had one scene together so we don’t really know the extent of their relationship. But if there’s one thing that’s clear was the conflict between them. I mean, during their whole duel, the characters were purposely placed on opposite sides of the room while making sure to show that skekGra and urGoh, a pair who were able to find harmony, were always side by side. It’s also in the way they address each other: while urVa does refer to him as his dark half, he also called him by his name. SkekMal, meanwhile, only ever referred to urVa as his title and nothing more. 

But I don’t think urVa had any ill-will towards his Skeksis. He seemed understanding of him and valued his life as much as he valued all living beings on Thra. I think if they both didn’t end up in a near-death situation, he’d try incapacitating skekMal again. However he understood and accepted his situation towards the end: with skekMal on an essence high, incapacitation method was no longer possible. If he allowed it to go on, all of Thra would be at risk. It was a desperate situation, but he knew Aughra was right. She gave up her life for the preservation of the world and urVa knew he had to do the same: for her and for Thra. The Hunt had to end and in order to protect the world he cherished he had to make the ultimate sacrifice. 

[datleggy]

Post-demise At Hand

TW: mentions of past OD, past drug use, off screen death of character (Alex), grief, anger, misunderstandings 

TK isn’t sure how to react to the news, if he’s being completely honest with himself. 

He learns about the death of his ex through a post on Instagram via an old mutual friend of theirs that he hasn’t been in contact with since even before he packed up his life and moved to Texas. It’s hashtagged: #RIP #gonetoosoon and TK almost laughs out loud like some kind of maniac, because is that all Alex's life amounted to in the end? 

Two half-assed hashtags and a badly edited picture of Alex smirking at the person who took the stupid photograph in the first place. TK remembers that day; Alex had finally passed his drivers test and gotten his license. He remembers telling Alex to smile, remembers his ex boyfriend turning to him, rolling his eyes, saying something like “Why did I bother with this again? We live in New York.” except TK can’t remember what he said to Alex to be on the receiving end of that knowing little smirk. 

The one he can’t stop staring at now. 

“Earth to TK!” 

TK almost drops his phone onto the floor, blinking up at the person waving their hand in his face. “Huh?” 

Judd gives him a curious look. “Been calling you for like a straight minute, kid, you doin’ alright?” 

TK nods. “Yeah, sorry, yeah, I’m good, I was reading an article, I uh, got distracted.” he shakes his head. “What’s up?” 

“Your boyfriend’s downstairs lookin’ for you--” Judd tries not so subtly to peek at whatever it is that’s got TK so enraptured and catches a glimpse of a familiar face, one that gives him pause. 

He frowns. “TK, what the hell? Stalking your ex, seriously?” he blurts the accusation outloud without thinking, which is of course the very moment Carlos and Paul come gallivanting up the stairs, their laughter at something one of them said dying out abruptly. 

Paul’s eyes dart between the two men and he clears his throat awkwardly before motioning for Judd to skedaddle with him. Judd, who couldn’t take a hint if it hit him on the side of the head like a tire iron, simply folds his arms across his chest expectantly. “Well? Your fella’s right over there, so what’re you doing all up in your ex boyfriends business?” 

Paul sighs. Jesus. “Judd. Maybe we should give them some privacy?” Carlos is scarily silent next to him and Paul just knows shit’s about to hit the fan, and he’d rather be far far away when it does happen. 

Carlos swallows hard, wipes his hands against his uniform pants, and says, “It’s fine. I’ll um, I’ll see you at home.” before turning around and going back the way he came. 

“Man.” Paul stares at TK, who hasn’t uttered a single word as of yet. “You’re not gonna go follow after him?” 

Judd scoffs. “And do what? Tell him it’s not what it looks like?” 

TK blinks rapidly a few times, as if coming out of a daze. “I--” His eyes go wide when he realizes what’s happened. “Shit.” he runs over to the edge of the railing to call for Carlos, but his boyfriend apparently bolted, because he’s nowhere to be seen. 

Judd whistles loudly behind him, arms still crossed disapprovingly. “Carlos is a good catch, TK, shouldn’t be messin’ around with him if you’re not--” 

TK whirls around to face him, the look on his face mutinous. “I wasn’t stalking my ex on Instagram Judd! Get your head outta your ass and outta my business!” 

Judd takes a step forward and Paul can see where this is headed; he immediately gets in between the two men, arms raised. “Hey! Enough! You two need to relax.” 

Judd huffs. “I’m not the one tryna step out on my--” 

“Alex is dead.” Saying it outloud is surreal. 

Alex is dead. 

What the fuck. 

Paul and Judd both give pause. 

“What?” 

TK sighs, aggravated, and shows them the post he’d been caught looking at earlier. 

“TK...” Paul gulps. “I’m sorry man.” 

TK nods but doesn’t utter a word. 

Judd cringes. “Crap, I--” He wants to smack his head against the palm of his hand as hard as he can. “I’m such a heel, Jesus TK, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed--I’m so sorry.” 

TK leans his back against the railing and this time it’s his turn to cross his arms over his chest. “Yeah, well...tell that to Carlos.” 

“TK I’ll call him right now and tell him I misunderstood, I swear--” 

TK interrupts him again with a shake of his head. “No, no, it’s better if I just explain it myself.” he looks up at Judd through long lashes and manages a half hearted grin. “I guess I should be happy you respect my boyfriend enough to snitch on my ass?” 

Judd knows TK’s throwing him a bone, but still, he doesn’t feel he can take it. “I do,” he admits. “But that don’t mean I should’ve went ahead and assumed the worst. You deserve better than that and for that I’m especially sorry.” The whole thing with his own father in law stepping out on his Grace’s mother is still messing around with his head, but that was no excuse to think the worst of TK, of all people. 

But TK tells him not to sweat it, he’ll call Carlos and tell him everything, no big, really. And then he asks the two men not to mention anything about any of this to the Captain or to any of the rest of the team, if it can be helped. 

Paul frowns. “TK, it’s not good to try and go through these types of things alone, you know.” 

TK shakes his head. “I’m not trying to, really. I just,” he shrugs, looking a little like a lost lamb. “I don’t really know how I feel about it yet? So I’d rather not deal with everybody’s sympathies right now, if that’s ok.” 

**********************

He calls Carlos but gets sent straight to voicemail every single time and when that doesn’t work he texts him that whatever he thought was going on, there was nothing to worry about, that he would explain if Carlos would just pick up his damn phone. 

Work gets progressively busier after that and TK barely has time to catch his breath, much less to try and get into contact with his boyfriend, and so it’s not until the very end of his shift, hours later, that he’s able to rush home--that is, he thinks sullenly, if Carlos hasn’t changed all the locks on him.

TK shakes his head; Carlos wouldn’t do that. He’s probably stewing though, and that thought doesn’t make TK feel any better as he steps past the threshold and inside. He’s had such a long and tiring day he hasn’t even had time to properly process what’s happened to Alex. 

Carlos has cooked dinner, if the wonderful smell coming from the kitchen is any indication. He’s at the table eating alone with the TV on in the other room for background noise, and he doesn’t even look up to greet TK, only motions towards the stovetop vaguely. “Help yourself.” he mutters. 

TK ignores the food and takes a seat right across from Carlos, leans over the table with a grimace. “Babe, I swear to you it’s not like that. Judd misunderstood what happened--” 

Carlos sets his fork down with a clatter that startles TK into jumping slightly. “Look, I get it, moving in is a huge commitment, it’s scary, I know, but I didn’t think you would--” 

“Please,” TK stops him. “Please let me just explain, please.” he hastily takes his phone out of his back pocket and opens the app. He can hear Carlos sigh above him but it doesn’t deter TK from finding the post and holding it up to his face. “This is what Judd saw me looking at.” 

Carlos reluctantly lays eyes on the photo, his irritation and hurt only peeking when he sees that it’s a photo of TK’s almost fiance. That is, of course, until he reads the caption, notices the hashtags below, and suddenly it all makes sense. He doesn’t know quite what to say, except: “Oh.” 

TK nods. “Caught me by surprise. I um, I haven’t heard from him since, well, you know. So I didn’t really know how to react when I found out and then Judd came up behind me and I mean, you know the rest of the story…” 

“Oh.” Carlos says again, because he’s still trying to process the news. 

“Yeah.” TK shrinks back in his chair and the wounded look of him finally snaps Carlos out of it.  

“Crap,” Carlos groans. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He gets up and rounds the table, kneeling down in front of TK. “I was hurt and I ran off without letting you even get a word in, that was messed up and I’m sorry. Are you ok?” He makes a face at his own question, because of course TK isn’t ok. The man he’d proposed marriage to a little over a year ago now has passed, after all. 

There’s no way he’s ‘ok’. 

“I uh, I don’t know.” TK admits quietly. 

Carlos puts a hand on his knee and squeezes gently. “It’s ok to be sad, Ty.” 

TK shakes his head. “It’s--I’m not. I’m not sad. I think? I mean...it’s not like we were on friendly terms, you know? I’m more surprised I guess, than anything else. He was still so young.” 

Carlos nods solemnly. “How did it happen, do you know?” 

TK clears his throat and scratches at the back of his head. “The obituary I found online said it was some kind of car accident near PA. I didn’t really find out any more details than that, though. The funeral was earlier this afternoon.” 

Carlos blinks. “Oh. None of your friends from New York said anything? Before today?” The fact that TK had to find out through Instagram is probably half the reason his boyfriend is finding it so hard to react properly to the tragic news. 

“I didn’t really bother to keep in contact with a lot of our friends when I left, to be honest. And plus, they were all Alexs’ friends before becoming mine. So he kinda had the right to keep them after the divorce...in a manner of speaking.” TK runs a hand through the greasy locks of his hair and grimaces. “Anyway, I should probably go shower, it’s been a long day and I’m kinda gross.” 

Carlos nods, letting TK worm his way out of the conversation without too much fuss. 

**********************

In the shower TK stands under the spray of hot water and stares blankly at the tiled wall in front of him, irritated by the jumbled thoughts plaguing him. God, he thinks, I could really use a drink right about now. 

What exactly is he supposed to be feeling right now? 

Grief? 

Anger? 

Or perhaps regret. 

It’s not as though TK ever got any real closure with Alex and now he never would. After being rejected by the man and worse yet, told he’d been replaced, TK hadn’t wanted to feel any of that pain and had gone to great and dangerous lengths to make sure he was good and numb that night. 

He hadn’t meant to overdose. But he’d popped a couple of pills initially, so sure that he could control himself this time, that this time it would be different. But twenty minutes later when the two little white pills had done nothing to soothe his aching heart TK thought, what’s two more? And then two more after that, and then maybe two more, and then he’d lost count, but fuck it, if he hadn’t felt better in the moment. 

The pills had worked! He couldn’t feel a thing, his head was blessedly empty and suddenly this giant weight had been lifted from his chest and he could breathe again. Until he couldn’t. 

The water is cold by the time TK steps out of the tub. He dries himself off and slips on a pair of boxer shorts and an old gray t-shirt. 

Carlos is waiting for him in the kitchen with a full plate, reheated, and normally the smell would be appetizing, but tonight it makes TK a little sick. “You alright? You were in there a while.” 

TK nods. “M’good.” 

“Here, sit, you should eat something before going to bed.” he sets the plate down in front of him and TK just stares at it like it’s the first time he’s seen food in a while and he’s not quite sure what to do with it. 

“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry. I think I’m just gonna go to sleep. I’m tired.” 

Carlos nods, his lips pursed like he wants to say something more, but instead all he says is, “Ok.” 

******************

It’s nearly three in the morning when TK wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. He’s not sure how he does it, but he manages not to wake Carlos up as he sneaks out of their bed. 

A few minutes later he’s outside in his sweatpants and a hoodie, mindlessly jogging along his usual route. It’s not drugs or alcohol, but running does help. He runs and runs and runs until it hurts and even then, he keeps on running. It’s not until the cramping in his stomach is too much to bare that he finally stops and lets his body rest on a park bench. 

And it’s then that he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and realizes he’s got three missed calls. “Shit.” he picks up immediately, holding the phone up to his ear with a shaky hand. “Hey.” 

“Where are you? TK, it’s almost five in the morning. What’s going on?” Carlos sounds frenzied on the other end of the line and TK can’t say he blames him. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep, I went out on a run and I lost track of time. I’m headed home now, sorry. Go back to bed.” 

“I can come pick you up, where are you?” 

TK sighs. “Carlos, seriously, I’m within walking distance, don’t worry, I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes.” he hangs up without letting the other man get another word in, which he knows isn’t right, but can’t really find it in himself to care. 

His legs feel like jello when he gets up and the trek back to their place is torturous enough to make TK regret telling Carlos not to bother getting him. By the time he makes it home he’s limping slightly and his stomach is in knots. 

The door swings open before TK can even take out his keys, and Carlos is standing there at the entrance looking a mixture of concerned and annoyed. 

TK rolls his eyes and ignores the look, pushing his way inside and kicking off his shoes at the door. “What?” he snaps, when Carlos won’t stop staring at him. 

Carlos frowns. “Stop that.” 

“Stop what? What are you talking about? I went out for a run. You’re acting like I went out to shoot up at a meth lab or something. I was gone for less than two hours!” TK half shouts, his frustration spiking up a notch. 

“Stop shutting me out. I know you’re upset about what happened to Alex, but you can’t just-” 

“About what happened to Alex?” TK scoffs incredulously. “Nothing happened to Alex, Carlos, he died. That’s not something that happens to someone and then they like, get the fuck over it! He died! He’s dead! Gone! Never gonna see him again, didn’t get to say bye or even fuck you to the guy, he just went ahead and died and that’s that!” TK lets out a choked little laugh that sounds more like a cry than anything and covers his face with both hands, tries his best to get his shit together and under control, but it’s no use. 

It’s quiet for a long time and then TK speaks again and it's soft and agonized, “I loved him.” 

And Carlos nods, takes him by the shoulders and leads him to the stairs, where they both sit down and TK buries himself into Carlos, into his safe haven, and his breath hitches loudly and Carlos says, “I know.” and TK lets out a big broken sob. 

“I’m here.” Carlos assures him gently, “I’m here. It’s gonna be ok.”

.

[gay-otlc]

Keepers Of The Chaos (3)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Dex, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh’s podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, religion (Jewish Vackers), and Amsterdam (just in case, I know that was stressful for some people).

Word count: 1621

Notes: Most of the episodes are just events stolen from Lynn's roundup, Dex's memes are here

(Read on AO3)

The life of an amateur meme maker on dumbles dot com was a strange one, that was for sure. After finishing xyr favorite show- Ze-Ra: Monaerchs of Powhir- for the third time, Dex had searched for another show to fill the void in xyr soul. Biana recommended this show called "Keepers of the Chaos" and described it to xem. Xe was doubtful at first, but after watching the first episode, xe was hooked.

Xe used to not have many friends at xyr school, so xe did what every neurodivergent queer teen would do- made an account on dumbles dot com. People seemed to like xem- or at least, they liked dizznee-plus's memes and edits of Ze-Ra characters. Even after Dex befriended xyr squish, Fitz, thons sister, Biana, and aer girlfriend, Sophie, xe continued making content on dumbles. Around that time, the Ze-Ra fandom started dying off, and xyr memes started getting fewer note

In a sudden, two am burst of inspiration, Dex made edits of some of xyr favorite characters, like Ref, Akki, and Rose, with their respective pride flags (all of them bi) over them, and captioned it "we must be gay." The post blew up, or at least, what could be considered blowing up in Keeper of the Chaos's tiny fandom, and that was how Dex found xyr calling as an amateur meme/edit maker for KOTC.

History had been repeating itself, with the KOTC fandom starting to die off, until it was revived by an announcement from creator Saturn Nolastname- a season two would be released soon. Frantically, Dex made a meme about season one episode two, with the car salesman meme. Xe edited "chaos keepers" onto the car salesman, "the rarelynoticed" on the car, and "this bad boy can fit so many stripper outfits into it."

That had been... an interesting episode, to say the least. The chaos keepers had been talking about the antagonists of "Sophie and the Dark Duck"- a rebel group called the Rarelynoticed. In the information packet they'd been given, it was confirmed that the Rarelynoticed wore black cloaks and armbands, but no other clothes had been mentioned. Somehow, the chaos keepers came to the conclusion that the Rarelynoticed really wore neon pink leotards and green stripper heels, then drew this idea.

Needless to say, the Tumblr staff did not let them write that into the book. Nor did Lynn, the unofficially chosen leader of the group. Unfortunately for her, this didn't stop the chaos keepers from drawing more of these- or the fandom from making a ton of memes. In addition to the car salesman meme, a post with Drake saying no to "wearing normal fucking villain outfits" and yes to "leotards and stripper heels" gained popularity within the small fandom.

Though nothing could match the absolute shock of seeing the Rarelynoticed stripper outfit for the first time, Dex decided to rewatch the episode anyway- it was funny to see the chaos keepers freak out, and maybe xe could get some good screen captures. The good Saturn Nolastname indulged xem, and xe captured an excellent scene of most of the chaos keepers either laughing or screaming at the Rarelynoticed stripper outfits, with Kimber- one of xyr favorites- sitting on the side, explaining to Juno and Kaitee why Bianca Cracker was bisexual.

Xe went over to dumbles, posted the picture, added an image description, and captioned it "Live photo of me not caring when my friends talk about sex/romance." Xe chuckled to xemself- this really was how it felt to be aroace. Xe tagged it as aromantic and asexual as well, since dumbles added flag colors. Smiling, xe went to go check xyr notifications.

Xyr jaw dropped when xe saw that @lordofthesnuggles- Fitzroy (Dex didn't know thons middle name) Vacker thonself had liked and reblogged all three of xyr memes, even adding compliments in the tags! Xe'd had a bit of a platonic crush on Fitz for... a really long time, but xe always felt too awkward to talk to thon, so it was nice to see that thon appreciated xyr humor.

Feeling energized- and excited to procrastinate on xyr math homework- Dex went to watch the next episode: Dark Duck Is Jewish Now. Being Jewish xemself, this was a really funny episode to xem.

Lynn had been writing a sort of spinoff- it would be called fanfiction, but it was for her own story- about some of the Dark Duck characters celebrating Christmas, and added a throwaway line about Bianca and Finn Cracker celebrating Hanukkah. Then, her fiance, Shai, had taken that idea and run with it, writing a list of ideas about what would happen if the Cracker family was Jewish. Hir friend Sam had jumped on the idea, and soon they had abandoned writing the actual Dark Duck in favor of writing a story about Jewish Dark Duck characters. Some of the other Jewish chaos keepers, like Ref and Cat, helped out.

To be honest, it kind of surprised Dex that no one had made a joke about the Jewish Crackers just being matzah, so xe supposed xe would have to be the first.

Xe posted that observation, quickly getting a like from Fitz- which made xem smile. After a few minutes, Dex posted another meme: Shai and Sam standing in front of a door with a sign that read "elves don't have religion," and them saying "This sign won't stop me, because I can't read!"

It was accurate.

While that episode was great for Jewish representation, and funny, the Banana Noir episode was just plain weird.

It focused less on the Dark Duck than most of the other episodes, and was more about the crazy interactions of the chaos keepers. The episode was named for Banana Noir, who was really Cat Noir, but in a banana suit. Banana Noir was the son of Mellie, who looked like a shark, and Nora, who had platonically married faer. The mothers tried to arrange a marriage between him and Akki, who loved the side characters of the Dark Duck series. However, Akki wanted to marry Amelia. After a lot of shit that basically no one understood, Banana Noir's attempts were thwarted, and Lynn officiated the wedding between Akki and Amelia.

Yeah, Dex had no idea what the fuck was going on either. Xe'd watched an episode of Twins of the Chaos and a youtube video by arsonpog analyzing the Banana Noir chronicles, as it had been dubbed by the chaos keepers, and both expert opinions seemed to agree that Saturn Nolastname and the rest of the writers had probably been on crack when they made that episode.

The next episode made slightly more sense, though it was a low bar. After taking a break from the "official" Dark Duck story, the chaos keepers began collectively writing a Cinderella story about the characters Sophia and Bianca. People weren't allowed to be queer in the official story, but the chaos keepers still wanted to have fun with their obviously gay characters.

Even to the viewers of the show, who only received secondhand information about the Dark Duck characters, knew there was no way any of them, let alone all of them, were allocishet. The exact identities weren't entirely clear- when Dex had made edits of the characters' official art and xyr headcanons for their pride flags, a few people had disagreed- but both the chaos keepers and the fandom knew that despite what Shannon said, Sophia and Bianca were in love, and their Cinderella story should have made it in to the official Dark Duck story.

While excerpts of the Cinderella story were quoted in the show, most of it was left unclear, so Biana had taken it upon aerself to write aer own version of it. Dex was expecting an update later  that day, actually, or maybe the next. Ae wasn't always 100% reliable with aer update schedule. Still, Dex looked forward to when it eventually did come.

After the brief calmness from the Sophianca Cinderella episode, season one episode six, Amsterdam, exploded back into chaos. A few of the chaos keepers decided to discuss a fake scene in the book in which crazy shit went down, with the scene supposedly being located in Amsterdam. It had never been written and was never going to be, but everyone discussed it like it was real. Some of the highlights involved all the Dark Duck girls having swords (and the chaos keepers being gay for them), and a speedboat chase scene through the canals. Fitz had a popular theory that the chaos keepers would actually travel to Amsterdam in order to commemorate this crazy part of their lives. Almost as popular as that was a meme Dex made, with a man labeled "chaos keepers discussing amsterdam" and gesturing feverishly to a wall covered in papers and red string.

Of course, episode seven (Dark Duck Disney) was chaotic too. Everything was chaotic with this group, it was in the title. Shannon announced that the winning Dark Duck story would be adapted into a Disney movie. After past experience with terrible book to movie adaptations, the chaos keepers panicked. They panicked so much that it became major news within their school, which until then, had been largely ignoring the chaos keepers. Once the discussion about the movie settled down, they talked a lot about how in awe they were that their Dark Duck shenanigans were trending within the school.

But of course, none of that compared to the last episode of the season...

Dex changed xyr profile picture to include an ominous pair of teal eyes and sighed.

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Love is a Polaroid

Summary: Tom posts the first picture of you on Instagram. 

Pairing: Tom Holland x female reader

Warnings: None

-

“What about...” Tom scrolled through his phone as you sat sideways in his lap, your legs over the couch and your back against the arm. “This one?” 

“I look terrible,” you groaned. It was a picture of you and Tom, your noses scrunched up as you laughed at something he said. Tom rolled his eyes, kissing you right at the end of your eyebrow. 

“You look gorgeous, princess. What about this one then?” He scrolled to another one, of the two of you together on a golf course. You were being his caddy girl, something he’d teased you about for days after he saw that you had bought a short skirt for it. You shook your head at that one too and grabbed his phone, scrolling through pictures of the two of you. You’d finally told him you were ready to go public, mostly because you were getting so sick of people trying to figure out who you were at the same time that they assumed Tom was with Zendaya or one of his PA’s that he’d been seen at a restaurant with. 

You knew there was going to be some kind of feedback, good and bad. You’d set your Instagram to private already, just knowing how many people would try to follow you and DM you. Tom had contacted Disney to put you through media training a month or so ago and his agents had given you the all clear. You were just nervous. You wanted the world to know that you were with Tom because he was funny and brilliant and talented beyond belief. But you were also terrified. You were only nineteen, so a good bit younger than Tom. You had been Paddy’s best friend for years, but Tom hadn’t even thought about making a move on you until you were nineteen. And then things had just gotten very serious very quickly. You moved in with him only after a few months, mostly because he needed someone to take care of the house and the dog while he was gone. 

The bottom line was that you loved Tom and you knew he loved you. You were certain of that more than your own name some days. But you were nervous, and you had to have the perfect picture. The perfect one to tell the entire world that you loved him. 

“Okay, this one isn’t the worst,” you said finally. It was actually a really, really cute picture of the two of you. You were at a party, Tom behind you with his arms around your neck. He was smiling at the camera as he kissed your cheek and you were smiling, too. You remembered feeling on top of the world that night because it was the night Tom had told you he loved you for the first time - he’d told you he loved you when he thought you were asleep. And then he’d snuck out of your parents’ window even though you had told him a million times that he could just go out the front door. It was a polaroid-style picture, put through several filters to get the right look to it. You loved editing photos. 

“I look like a div.”

“You are a div,” you giggled. 

“Oh, you’ll pay for that.” He started tickling your stomach until you dropped the phone on his knuckle and he finally quit, just pulling you into a hug. 

“Let’s caption it,” he said. “I’m trying to think.” 

“I don’t know, it’s your Instagram,” you shrugged. 

“How about...” Tom bit down on his lip as he typed. He turned the phone to you a few seconds later. Love is a Polaroid it said. You looked over at him, finally nodding. He hit the post button and took your phone from where it was in the pocket of your sweatshirt. He put his phone on top of it, then put them down on the coffee table. 

“Why?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing. 

“Because. I always stop looking after I post something. It’s better just not to look unless it’s someone you know commenting.” You looked down at where one of his hands was playing with your watch, absentmindedly changing the face of it by scrolling through the gallery. 

“What if people...” 

“What if people what? All that matters is that I love you, okay? Not what anyone else thinks.” You nodded and he kissed the center of your forehead, dropping the topic as you started another episode of New Girl. A few minutes later he took a call from his agent and made sure to take your phone with him. But he didn’t take your phone when he went to take a shower a couple of hours later. 

You eyed your phone as you cooked dinner, seeing it light up every few seconds with another Instagram notification. The shower had just started, just as you were done with the instant pot, so you walked over to the table and grabbed your phone. You were too busy looking at Instagram to realize that the shower water had stopped. And when you did look, you wished you hadn’t. Most of the comments were saying aww or they’re so cute! or i ship it!! But some of them didn’t say that at all. 

wtfffff she’s literally like twelve

isn’t that illegal????

do better, thomas 😂

she’s not it 🤡

cradle robber

it’s bad enough that it’s borderline illegal but she’s not even cute...

yeah, love is a strong word

You scrolled through the seat of comments, each one worse than the last. Most of them were positive. But the negative ones made the tears come to your eyes and before you knew it, you were hunched over on the couch, crying your eyes out. You were getting snot on Tom’s favorite pink hoodie, one he barely ever let you borrow even though he always said anything for my princess. You were sitting on Tom’s couch, wondering if you should leave. Wondering if you should go up and steal his phone and take the picture down, even though the damage had already been done. 

“What are you doing?” Tom asked as he walked down the stairs just wearing a pair of boxers. His hair was soaking wet. He’d heard you crying. His eyes were wide in alarm, thinking something else was wrong. 

“I know you said not to, but...” you mumbled through a sniffle. He sat down beside you and grabbed the phone, shaking his head. 

“Babe, they’re just...”

“I’m not good enough for you.” 

“No, don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.” He shut your phone off and tossed it onto the other side of the couch. “Don’t ever say that. I love you. I love you so much, you know that.”

“But they think...”

“They think. They don’t know. Nobody knows anything except for you and me.” He put his fingers in your hair and pulled your face to his shoulder, deciding that maybe it was just best to let you cry until you were calm. There was no sense in trying to talk to you if you were all worked up. He just let you cry, holding your head to his neck. Your mascara rubbed off on the hood of his sweatshirt, but he didn’t care. It would wash out. He made sure your eyes were closed as he looked through the post, sighing. He responded to some of the good ones, but he knew removing that bad ones were useless. They'd just come back. 

“You know people are always gonna be mean like that,” he said a few minutes after you’d seemed to calm down. “And the worst part about it is that I can’t protect you from it. But what I can protect you from is thinking that about yourself. You don’t think that, right?”

“I don’t know what I think. I just know I love you but...”

“The rest of the world thinks they own me, but they don’t. You do, okay? None of this is going to change my mind or make me think differently of you, because it’s not you. Okay?”

“Okay,” you finally said back. He smiled at you.

“You look so pretty in that picture, princess.” You couldn’t help but smile back, leaning into him as he gave you a quick kiss. “And I’m glad the rest of the world knows you’re mine, ‘cause I don’t want to think you could ever be anyone else’s.” 

[tobebugjewce]

THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING 

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.?? 

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2 

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK. 

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;  “https://youtu” 

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files; 

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote; 

Technical Support 1978 

then, 

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978 

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless: 

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well. 

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

[dunedan-estel]

Because I’m trash for Aegis and I should really include more Aer content because he’s a wholesome bean.

It took me a painstakingly long time to find a few KH IG post things and then copy and paste each individual letter because I could not find the font anywhere. 

As always, some writing beneath the cut.

Aegis leaned back in her seat with a sigh - making sure she had contact with Riku and Mickey ready for their next descent into the realm of darkness, plus making sure she was available for when Sora needed help, and speaking to the wind at Keyblade Graveyard in the hope Lingering Will would even hear the update was exhausting.

She had just returned from such a trip - the last time she had set foot on that world was a month before: she had managed to take Terra’s body there but Xehanort came… once again, a fight with a Xehanort possessed Terra that ended up in failure. She still had the makes of chains, a bruise from The Guardian now faint. Only, this time, Lingering Will was waiting. A disturbance - perhaps Organisation XIII. 

The update was given, she apparently fell asleep for an hour - she was still groggy from that absolute wipeout - and she had just sat down in the Gummiship. 

“How’s Dad, Mum?”

Yen Sid had… encouraged Aer to go with Sora despite Aegis’ protests - he had just turned twelve but no. Yen Sid wouldn’t listen. Aer wouldn’t listen. She relented. Eventually. Though she would hardly admit out loud at the moment that his presence was a soothing one. 

“As determined to right wrongs as always.” She turned her head to look at Aer - it was clear by the look in his eyes he had a question on his mind. She had an idea of what it was - he was always afraid that Lingering Will would forget of his existence. “He asked if you were okay.” Aer’s face relaxed into a smile.

“He did?”

Aegis hummed. “Third question behind ‘what’s wrong’ and ‘are you okay’.”

“Did you tell him about me helping the mission?”

“Yeah.” She spoke through a sigh. “Didn’t agree with it, but also said I shouldn’t worry so much since you’re with Sora.”

“See? I told you not to worry.” Donald chimed in with an amused undertone to his voce. Aegis rolled her eyes.

“My son is not yours, I can worry as much as I like.” Aegis folded her arms with furrowed brows - she knew she wasn’t perfect. She just wanted him safe - he was too young, he had only recently mentioned to her in a timid voice so foreign to her.. that he was struggling. Putting him so close to darkness was stupid and if he fell to it she would want blood. And Yen Sid would be number one on the list. 

The thought alone squeezed her heart so tight it hurt. She heard Aer get out of his chair, ignoring Donald’s and Goofy’s protests, and stride to her. He hugged her a little awkwardly - with Aer being talling than her, with the edition of a seat in the way, it was more like he may as wel have just placed his chin on top of her head. Having such a show of affection wasn’t a rarity for her son, but it was certainly when he was worried that he didn’t hold back in the hugging department.

“I posted something on the social when you were gone.”

“Oh yeah?” She went onto her phone with a speed that was best described a excitable, though he tone was more one of interest.

“Yeah. I think it’s a nice first post. Better than complaining about Donald’s lack of being able to read a room.”

“Yeah. Complaining doesn’t suit you much.” When the app finally loaded, the first post was Mickey talking about Yen Sid, then there it was: a picture of her smilling, leaning against a wall in Twilight Town. Aer had called out to her when she was laughing at a bird looking around, figuring out how to fly out of a tree they were arguably to big for.

“Read the caption.” Sora was looking over the top of his seat, kneeling with his back turned towards the window. 

“ ‘I know I can have hope when you smile, mum.’ “ Aegis pushed out her bottom lip with a smile, water starting to haze her vision. “Awe, Aer…”

“It’s true. When I told you I was struggling a little, like darkness was appearing in my heart, you smiled at me as you comforted me. You smile every time you talk of Dad and Aqua and Ven. Yen Sid asked me what hope means to me, and I said it was your smile. Because whenever you’ve forgotten how to smile, you’re on the verge of giving up…”

Aegis reached up and ruffled the twelve-year-old’s hair. “I’m able to smile because you’re smiling. Seeing their hid smile gives parents strength. I’m lucky to have you.”

Aer’s laugh was an embarrassed chuckle and he scratched the back of his head with a hand on his hip. “What’ so funny?”

“Nothing. You just never stop having Terra’s mannerisms. Never change.”

His eyes widened in surprised and then he grinned. “I’ll try my best.”

“Now go sit down. We can’t go anywhere until you park your butt down.”

“Alright, alright. I’m going. Now I’ve got to beat this level. Hey, Mum, you’ll help if I get stuck again, right?”

“Always.”

[greatthingssmallworld]

FANFICTION MASTERPOST

Yeah, I am late to the party. But I guess it's time to stand to my trials...I mean fanfics! Fanfics! Now I wanted say something like "I write mostly in fandom XY" but honestly? I am kinda all over the place. I try to make sense out of it in this post. First: My ao3 handle ist reddish_umbrella I only publish fanfics on ao3. Back in 2020 I was very into the Titan-verse and there are some fanfics out there which are all about the relationship of Dick Grayson and Rachel Roth.

Rachel's Way Out When Rachel's get her head injured during a mission, she looses all her memories about herself but also her history. Suddenly Dick's is confronted with the decision if he wants to keep her that way to provide her the chance of normal life...but the way out is never the easy one. Belongs to the series Long Journey Home (Part 1) Rachel's Escape They just got back from their last adventure which almost cost Rachel's life when suddenly a new thread appears on the horizon. Rachel decides it's best if she manages the thread on her own, much to Dick's dismay... Belongs to the series Long Journey Home (Part 2) I planned to write a third part but somehow I "fell out of the fandom" and there probably won't be a third part to the series. Together we can be heroes (One-shot) After Dick's last mission with the Justice League went haywire, he promised Rachel to stay out of it. When he break his promise (once) again, she decided she had enough to wait at home and plans out a plan. Back in 2020 I also was very into Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist and from this time I have some unfinished and discontinued fanfics laying around. Mixing business with girls and thrills Zoey just wanted to spend the weekend with her friends Mary and Sue in L.A. as suddenly she get dragged into a story of spies and world conspiracies. From SPRQPoint with Love Zoey has a normal life as IT support for a boring start-up. As suddenly her whole world changes...to the better? She got a way (One-Shot) After her father's death Zoey just want to disappear under her blanket, but...her phone has other plans. In 2021 I started to write my first novels, finished up my second novel (yeah, I finished up the first before the second one. I'm weird.) and started my third novel. Before that I had written down 48 pages of a new fanfic and in-between all of these things, I started another one. Chaos? Right. I try to break that up for you. My in-between is a ongoing story in the AWAE fandom. Can't we be friends? Gilbert was just crashing on the couch after a long shift in the hospital as his phone vibrated in his front pocket. He took it oud, blinking because of the bright light, and looked at it. It was 4.30 am and Anne just texted him. It was a screenshot of a pseudo-medical side. The caption under the screenshot said: „I asked Google about my neck pain and it says I'm pregnant. Should I be worried?“

*** Anne just had a breakup with her girlfriend Marisa and can't sleep at night. She starts to call Gilbert to talk about everything and nothing. My 48 pages fanfic is now my December project and I started to post it. It's a *whispers* Jo x Teddy Modern AU *clears throat* I know it's controversial. "Hope" is the thing with feathers Jo had her chance to be with Laurie and the moment she realized their friendship could mean more to her, she was too late. Amy and Laurie had found their luck together.

But what happens if their love story came to an end and Jo sees herself in the situation to seek out Laurie again? Will she find their friendship - and even love - again? My second novel will also be a fanfic - which isn't publish yet - but to give you a teaser, title is below. I probably gonna change in a later edit to an original work because aaaah...I am lousy fanfic writer, tbh. ^^ (smart move to write that at the very end of your own fanfiction masterpost *hehe*) It's turning out sublime RPF with Timothée Chalamet, AU, Aged-up Characters, Poly Relationship. Coming this December 2021 So, that's all for now. Have a lovely day y'all!

[thekillerssluts]

Nostalgic For A Different Future: Arcade Fire's Will Butler On How His New Solo Album Finds Healing In Community

When Arcade Fire released their very first single, it came with a B-side that hit very close to home to brothers Win and Will Butler: a recording of a song called "My Buddy," credited to their grandfather, Alvino Rey. In fact, several generations of musicians line their family tree. While those historic echoes provide joy and solace for younger brother Will, the world tipping into pandemic and protests over racial injustice reinforced life’s darker cycles. On Butler’s second solo album, Generations (due Sept. 25 via Merge), he explores the ways in which we come together in community both because of and in spite of those ripples.

The video for early single "Surrender" represents that duality perfectly. The clip opens with studio footage of Butler’s band recording the jangly anthem, complete with call-and-response vocals and gospel falsetto. But much like 2020, things devolve quickly, with closed captioning-style subtitles mourning the deaths of Black men and women killed by police, calling for sweeping political change, and insisting on prison reform. Though written long ago, the album holds a special ability to tap into something boundless and timeless while simultaneously feeling entrenched in the tragic pain of the present.

Butler spoke with GRAMMY.com about the album’s similarities to Fyodor Dostoevsky, the ways in which songs take on new meaning over time, how Generations fits in with an upcoming Arcade Fire album and the healing power of community.

Did you have any hesitation about releasing the album in the midst of the pandemic?

I'm sad to not tour it. If I could wait four weeks and then tour the record... but that's not going to happen. It's actually kind of a good time to put out music. It feels morally good! People want music, so let's put out music. I've experienced that, where people put things out and it feels generous.

It truly does. You've compared this album to a novel and your debut before this to a collection of short stories. Is there a particular novelist that you feel would be in tune with your work? Do you take inspiration from fiction in that way?

It's not Dostoevsky. [Laughs.] But it is weirdly more inspired by Dostoevsky than it ought to be. It's the tumult of the 19th century, the next stage of the industrial revolution and the gearing up of socialism and anarchism. It feels related to the pre-revolutionary thing happening in Russia. [Laughs.] It's not a one-to-one comparison by any means, but it’s just the deeply human things happening in a context of the whirlwind.

Was there an experience that led you to the feeling that it was the right time to deliver such a politically driven album?

Partly, I went to grad school for public policy. I explicitly went as an artist wanting to know what's happening and why it's happening. I started the fall of 2016, which was a very bizarre time to be at a policy school. But I had a course with a professor named Leah Wright Rigueur, a young-ish professor, a Black woman, a historian. The course was essentially about race and riot in America. And since it was a policy school, the second-to-last week on the syllabus was talking about Hillary Clinton and the last week was talking about Donald Trump. It was a history class, but in an applied technical school, so it's like, "What are we doing with this history?"

We read the post-riot reports of Chicago in 1919 and the post-riot reports of the '60s, the Kerner Commission and after the Watts riots, and we read the DOJ reports after Ferguson and after Baltimore and Freddie Gray. And then Donald Trump got elected at the end of the semester. This course really trained my eyes at this moment of time, just being in that state of thinking about what's going on and why it's happening.

Right, and the album's title feels like it encapsulates not only the history that you were learning at the time but also your personal and familial ancestry.

Yes, very much so. My mom's a musician, and her parents were musicians. My grandmother grew up in a family band driving across the American West with her parents before there were even roads in the desert. Her dad got arrested a bunch of times for vagrancy or for not paying off loans. There's something very beautiful about being in the tradition of generations of musicians. That's a positive thing in this world. It's no coincidence that I'm a musician. There are, however, many more poisonous things that are also not coincidental that are rooted in both personal and political history. All of political history in America has been geared towards making each generation of my family's life better insofar as they're white men. It's been very good to my family, but that is as much of an undeniable generational heritage as music, which is this beautiful and faultless and glorious thing.

Do you see that musical tradition in your family as storytelling?

It's never been explicitly storytelling, though that is part of it. It's more about building community or building a society through entertainment. Entertainment is almost too light a word. My grandfather and grandmother did all these broadcasts during World War II, and some of it's jingoistic, some of it's incredibly moving, some of it's just dance music for people who don't want to think about the war for a minute. It's all these emotions, but still with this aim of trying to get us all in it together–which in a war context is fraught. But there's that element of always trying to make a family, make a community, learning how to bind us all together.

That reminds me of the call and response vocals you've got throughout the record. It has an especially gospel-y feeling on "Close My Eyes," which is such a clever way to paint a song about surrendering to something bigger than yourself, that communal feeling. What was the impetus for that narrative voice?

Part of it is just rooted in Smokey Robinson and the Miracles. [Laughs.] Years ago, someone mailed us the complete Motown singles on CD, just every single starting from day one. Even though there’s some garbage mixed in there, it just feels so human with those gang vocals and great singers that sometimes they just pulled off the street. You get the sense of humanity. Having backing vocals be so integral instead of just having my voice layered feels like having a community and feels very natural. It's hard for me to not just rely on that every third or fourth song. [Laughs.] It just feels like that's how it should be.

Those multi-part harmonies must be especially potent live in a room. Do you write in a way where you’re already picturing these songs live?

We played almost every one of these songs live before we recorded them. My solo band played "Surrender" live on the Policy tour for years. But even before we went into the studio last summer, I booked a weekend of shows. We did the Merge 30th Anniversary festival just to have us feel it live and have that communication. And then we went down to the basement to try to iron it out.

Speaking of "Surrender," that song took on an entire new life in the video. It starts out with videos of your band in the studio, but then quickly and powerfully gets replaced with messages mourning the deaths of George Floyd and Breanna Taylor and emphasizing the need for prison reform. You never know what life a song will have when you’re writing it.

That song is very nostalgic in a certain way. It’s looking towards the past, but not wishing to be in the past. It's wishing that we were in a different present because we had already chosen a different past. So when I was editing the video, I started it as a "making of" video. But the footage is from January of this year—five, six months old. There's this feeling of nostalgia, but also 2019 was not good enough to look back at. [Laughs.] 2019 was also horrible.

It's not like I want to go back to 2019. I want to play music with people. I want to be having fun with my friends. I want to be making a record. But I don't want it to be 2019. I'm nostalgic for a different future. And as I'm editing the video, there have been six weeks of protests of people trying to build something, and it just felt crazy to not acknowledge that. It was what people were focused on, at least the people around me.

Do you feel like you'll be infusing more overt social and political commentary into your music going ahead?

I think so. It's important that it's organic. It's part of the world I live in, part of my family and my friendships. Before the coronavirus hit, I was very much looking forward to touring and had vague plans to do town hall meetings and discussions. It felt like a rich time to do that around America, and around the world. I'm sad to not get to do that, but I think it will happen someday.

You produced the album yourself in your basement, so were you writing with the production choices already in mind or were you writing while in the studio?

I had the band come down and record for a week. And at the end of that first week, we had seven or eight songs that could be real. Some of them were clear. Some of them are simpler, like "Surrender." Others were trying to figure out where they would go. "I Don't Know What I Don’t Know" was more trial and error, trying something crazy. We'd turn everything off for two days and then come back to it and try something else. You try to be surprised by it.

I love revision. Well, I don't love it. I hate it. [Laughs.] I love the process of editing, of making a version of something and then finding something that's either better or worse. It's fun when you work with an editor that you trust, but when you're just doing it yourself, you drive yourself batty after some time. But I still love versioning it until it makes sense.

It feels like you're not too precious. You just want to service the song at the end of the day.

Yeah. I try to not be precious. I feel like the songs mostly came out with a fresh spirit. I didn't massage any of them too much. I'm very conversational in how I think of the world. Nothing is the final statement. You say something and then someone says something else and then you say something. And you have to finish what you're saying in order to hear what the other person says. So if that means putting it out into the world without rounding everything off, to me that feels right.

The record begins and ends on the same burning synth tone, like history ready to go around the loop again. What does that synth tone represent for you?

Not to get too mystical, but there's something about the bass that is so embodied. There's something about a really powerful bass that is fundamental, something that just gets to the core. I wanted that core to feel a little uneasy. It's not like the hit at the end of "A Day in the Life" where it’s this clear conclusion. It's a little bit gnarly. It's a little bit not in the right key for the song. It’s something disturbing at the very core of everything.

What has writing and producing this record taught you about yourself?

I found that while I still prize quickness and thoughtfulness and conversational life, this record took longer and took more effort than Policy. It was way less casual. It was not casual in a very good way. I realized this shouldn't be a casual undertaking—even though it can have lightness and humor and breezy elements. Even then, the whole undertaking can still be serious and grounded. It can even be quick without being casual. In the past, I've fallen into thinking, "Just do something first before you think about it too hard." But this was a reminder that you can do something more thoroughly.

Were you writing these songs while working on the next Arcade Fire album? Speaking about intention, how do you compartmentalize those two sides of your creativity?

Yeah, Arcade Fire is always very cyclical. We record for a year and a half, we tour for a year and a half, and then we're off for a year and a half. I was very conscious to do this in a moment when I wasn't distracted by something else. I wanted to focus on this.

I'm still figuring it all out. Right now I'm making a video for the song "Close My Eyes." I have children, two-year-old twins and an eight-year-old, so the spring was just complete family time—net positive, but total chaos. [Laughs.]

https://www.grammy.com/grammys/news/nostalgic-different-future-arcade-fires-will-butler-how-his-new-solo-album-finds

[finewalls]

#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES - When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours.

I am lowkey late but I finally have proper time to do this fun thing! Thank you  @tomthenetherlands for tagging me (check her process here). I was asked to explain my process of making this lyric animation so here we go

[disclaimer: I’ve deleted everything but the final product from my computer so I’ll mostly explain with text only]

1. PLANNING: Okay first I got this request on my ask box bc I was lowkey doing a series, so I knew the style I was gonna go with: simplistic animation. That’s pretty much all the plan was fhgsdjkfhksda

2. BASEWORK: Now first thing I did is choose the best lyrics for the edit and started searching for videos best fit to use as the base for the edit. Immediately knew to use a clip from the movie 1917 because of the burning city scene, for the first lyric. Then a clip from walls as I wanted to insert Louis into it and went through some true blood ship videos to find a good one of two guys kissing dfhgsdjfsk and for the last one I originally wanted a wedding scene but the one I tried to use was way too difficult to work with it so I used another part from the same video as base. Now that I got my videos I open up photoshop and get working

3. PHOTOSHOP: Starting with GIF number 1

Just like with every GIF I import the video and choose the frames I want yada yada. Now first before I start the ‘animation’ process I sharpen the GIF once and then I over colour the whole thing. Like over saturated and massive contrast so it’s easier to work with. Also in this case made everything super warm like yellow and orange all over. Then comes the fun part! I started painting each frame making sure it’s not too flashy and clear enough so you recognise what’s happening. Since this was the first of the edit I chose a simple colour palette I could use in the other GIFs as well. Ones I was happy with the frames I resize the canvas to 600x400px and compressed the GIF once and then open it again, added the lyrics on top and standard GIF making again. 

GIF number 2! This one took me about 3 times until I got it right. I did so much recolouring I almost gave up hdgjkaslga

But just like the first one, colouring, sharping etc. and then again one frame at a time painting the scene and making sure you see human shapes. As you can still see the right side of the gif is a mess bc why did't I just paint it all black idk. But with this I recoloured it again after painting bc I wasn’t happy with the shades, and then again and again bc fun. But yeah, resize, compress, add text, tha-da

GIF number 3, my fave

Okay with this one I cheated a little to get it done quickly. So otherwise same as the others, but instead of going frame by frame to paint, I just put all the frames through a filter at once to get the result. Which is why it’s the smoothest of them all too tbh. But just had to fix the colours with colouring tools but rest is standard GIF making.

GIF number 4, the one that I hated the most

Now see like I said, i had a different idea for this at first, but bc it didn’t work I decided to try this part of the same video (a married couple walking with their wedding party) First I turned everything black and white bc I figured this will be like minimalist (and easier to work with). Now I wanted to get rid of the other people so i basically painted all black and then went frame by frame getting the two people walking. Had to add the shadow of them as it looked painfully stickfigure-y without it djsakdgdfsh. Once I was happy with the animation I slapped on a pride flag bc I wanted it gay u know.. But to match with the rest of the GIFs I multiplied it and warmed up the colours a bit. Then again, compress, add text, standard.

ADDING IT TOGETHER READY FOR POSTING: Then I made sure all the edits match or like look nice together and the text was in the same level and such nice things and made sure I got them all in right size (in these I did 600x400px normally I go with 530px width) then it’s time to open tumblr.com

POSTING: Like with other edits I did for this ‘’series’’ I chose more lyrics from the song and added them as caption along with who requested it and saying do request more (still taking in requests btw even tho i didn’t get into the animation school)

I used the HTML to get the colours I used in the edit into the caption as well (used this when I first learned how to do that) 

now with tags I like to be talkative

I have the standard blogs I tag and bc it was Louis’ lyrics I tagged dt and I always use ‘[insert initials] edit’ for everything for my own navigation. And then I obviously make my own comments, which in this one are 100% accurate and I stand by them. I peaked here. 

ALL DONE: then I sit back and wait for the notes to roll in :) hjfgsdjkf

That is all thank you for reading if you did! I would like to see the process from

@curlyhairedprince for these motherfucking edits

@ltpolari for this edit bc colouring icon

@thesemptysounds for this incredible edit bc it’s my favorite thing ever and now on my wall forever thank you

@queersue for this edit (and many others posts alike) bc colouring legend

and finally @tomlinsun​ for this lil drawing which is also on my wall bc i love it so much!!

As always feel free to not reveal your process:

Thank you for coming to my ted talk I’ll see ya later.

[jerepars]

Ape Dos Mil Extended Chapter Notes

1 / 9 Skeptics and True Believers

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile and the dashboard). The story is posted here. 

She knew she hated him from the moment she laid eyes on him. Teresa’s parents had died when she was a little girl and she’d practically raised herself, so she didn’t exactly have any role models to set an example for her and teach her to be mild mannered, or to teach her that hate was not the opposite of love. She was emotionally driven, and the things she felt, she felt deep in her soul. But anyway, it was a matter of principle. She hated him. Teresa was in Dallas, in Camila Vargas’ warehouse where the prostitutes and drug mules slept, and he was in the space that could be considered the bullpen. When their eyes met for the very first time, she felt the fire ignite and build inside her chest, her heart like a caged bird trying to escape her ribs, blood thick as lead in her anger.

I don’t...I don’t know why writing about Jeresa brings up so many Saves the Day references for me. Maybe because a lot of the imagery in the lyrics are kind of extreme? It’s not a direct reference but the last sentence, with the part about her heart trying to escape her ribs was written with “You Vandal” in mind: yeah my ribs have parted ways, said ‘we’re not going to protect this heart you have’.

James was the carrot Camila dangled in front of everyone—the girls and the sicarios—to get them to do what she wanted. He was the Taylor Vaughan in the world of the warehouse; everyone would either willingly fuck someone’s shit up to be him, or, they would lose their shit to be fucked by him. It seemed to suit him—looking good while doing bad things. He was who they could never be, or never be with, and that was exactly how Camila wanted it.

She’s All That is back on Netflix and I couldn’t help myself. In my mind, there’s this whole backstory of Teresa watching teen cult rom coms growing up, and that’s why she speaks English so well when she lands in Dallas, but this part of the story definitely wasn’t the appropriate time to elaborate on that (there may never be an appropriate time to elaborate on that, lol). But she knows who Taylor Vaughan is, from seeing the movie. The way James is likened to Taylor Vaughan (portrayed by Jodi Lyn O’Keefe) is because of a line said by Dean Sampson (Paul Walker’s character) near the beginning of the movie. Dean says, “Every girl wants to be her, and every guy wants to nail her” (0:47).

This is an idea I’ve been thinking about for a while. Because Camila is certainly not dumb. James sets the bar for everyone, and it’s a standard that they can’t compete with or for. It’s like putting James in his position is her slapping them in the face with a “you wish”. James and Camila both know that, and Teresa is smart enough to figure it out quickly.

But James was good at his job. Even after he got Teresa riled up, even after she called him an asshole, even after he told her she was going to die, he got her into the custodian’s closet and she threw up every last baggie of coke. He was so good at his job, in fact, that when she was barely hanging on, declared she could not possibly go any further, he’d decided, no, it wasn’t her moment to tap out yet. James pulled the bottle of soap out of the dispenser and poured it into her mouth until she heaved on her own gag reflex one more time and the last three bags came up.

This chapter is named after “Skeptics and True Believers” by The Academy Is... . The paragraph mentions that Teresa was barely hanging on because of the part of the song that goes: near death, last breath, and barely hanging on. It also seemed fitting because it’s a story about about soulmates, after all, and it is made clear that both Teresa and James believe in soulmates.

There’s one more song reference here. The part about James deciding it’s not Teresa’s time to tap out yet is because of PUP’s “Kids”: And I had it maxed out. I had a feeling, oh. Nothing is working. And everything's bleeding, oh. I should've tapped out. Given into my demons, oh.

This is a really interesting moment for Teresa, because we know how strong she is, that she’s a survivor and fighter. But she says she can’t do it, she can’t throw up anything else. She’s defeated, which is understandable because it’s not everything she’s going through is easy. It’d be easier to give in and give up, right? But James doesn’t let her tap out and takes over when he pours the soap in her mouth to make sure she can, makes sure she survives.

“What time is it?” Teresa kept her eyes on the groud, avoiding the light from the warehouse windows illuminating the dust motes in the air.

“It’s almost three,” James said flatly, then emphasized, “PM.”

Teresa let out a long sigh but didn’t respond to his badgering.

“Get up,” James muttered. “You’re coming with me.”

She finally looked up at him and made eye contact, squinting slightly against the afternoon light, but didn’t make a move to get up. James rubbed his fingers against his thumb impatiently. She sat still.

“Where?” Teresa asked.

Okay, listen, when I use dialogue from the show I turn on the closed captions to make sure that it’s all exact to what is said in the scene. That being said, I’ve seen and watched this scene so. many. times. I turned the volume to max in my headphones as I edited this to make sure I hadn’t been mishearing it this whole time. The Netflix closed captions claim that James says “come with me” but I just don’t buy that. I swear what he says is “you’re coming with me”. If I’m wrong, I’m sorry that I wrote it in wrong. (But I don’t think I am.)

“Mil gracias, Jaime.” Charger was already waving him off, typing out a message to the supposed professional cheerleader. “Quiet night in for you and the hot redhead tonight?”

James has a lot of nicknames from George. Boaz calls him Santiago. There’s a quick moment from 2x06 where Guero is speaking Spanish and calls him Jaime. In the translated closed caption, he says, “look here, James” (0:23), but you can hear him say Jaime. I can’t have Guero being the only one to call him that (lol) so I decided that maybe a lot of the warehouse guys call him that when they speak to him in Spanish.

Teresa’s back was turned to him as he approached, making her bed. James meant to ask if she was ready to go but his voice got caught in his throat when he saw how she’d made the bed. Even though it was a thin foam mattress on a rusty frame, she’d made her space stand out. It was nice and neat, a clean line folded into the corner. It was the same way nurses made beds in the infirmary and the way soldiers did in the barracks. James believed there were certain skills from boot camp that could never be unlearned. It was how he made the bed.

When I said I’d come up with the weirdest soulmates fic ever based on the tiniest detail, I wasn’t kidding around. When Guero leads the DEA to the empty warehouse in Dallas, he knows which bed was Teresa’s because he sees the corner folded over. Then there’s a flashback scene to Mexico, with Teresa telling him she makes the bed that way because her mom was a nurse and taught her that way. 

James was in the military. He was a soldier. He would have had to have made it through boot camp. He would have to know how to make those hospital corners.

And that being a thing they have in common was screaming out at me to take it in a literal sense: it’s why they’re soulmates. And, even further, it’s how they find out they’re soulmates.

The gears kept turning in my head. Because what if they don’t come to the realization at the same time? What if only one of them knows? It changes everything about their dynamic and why they do the things they do for each other through the first three seasons.

James knew Teresa was trouble. He’d told her as much, with some snarl in his voice and his eyes narrowed, as the sound of bass from the speakers in Camila’s club thumped into their conversation the night before. Pointing out the dangerous nature Teresa possessed was a warning—to her and to himself—not to get too close so she didn’t pull him down with her. The feeling he couldn’t place when he was around her would land him in serious trouble if he wasn’t careful. And he had plans for a future, completely separate and away from the Vargas cartel.

Looks like I went in hard with the pop punk references for this one. There’s a song by New Found Glory called “Don’t Let Her Pull You Down” that made me go with the phrasing that’s in this paragraph. 

All things considered, it probably was an act of betrayal on the universe’s part. The odds of someone dying on their birthday were so much better than all of the stars aligning. It was why people made their plans and chose to love without the universe in mind.

One more pop punk song reference in name only. That’s just how my dumb brain works. I’ll write sentences because I think of lyrics or song titles (or both). This time it was Senses Fail’s  “The Irony of Dying on Your Birthday”.

[dyscrasia-eucrasia]

<<Prev | Next>>

Part 11

Angel spent most of the next morning nursing an excruciating hangover. He hadn't even had that much to drink, but he still spent a good amount of time hunched over, retching into the toilet. When finally his stomach had settled enough to get a sports drink down, he crawled back onto his futon and pulled a blanket over his head. 

He intended to spend the rest of the day like that, napping and forgetting the night before, but sleep eluded him. He tossed and turned fretfully until finally he grabbed his phone from the end table and checked his notifications. 

His Instagram notifications had been going off all night, to the point he finally silenced his phone, something he never did normally. There were notifications for followers, comments, likes - and one tagged picture from Clayton's account. 

His stomach dropped and he thought he was going to be sick again. He didn't want to look at it, but he knew he had to. He needed to know if his entire social media career was over. He couldn't stand that thought. He couldn't stand the thought of going back to being a nobody so desperate for cash that he quit school to strip. He didn't want to be just a face in the crowd again. 

He hesitated a long time before tapping the notification. The Instagram logo came up on the screen and he was presented with a picture of himself and Clayton. Clayton had his hands on either side of Angel's face, and was forcing his mouth onto Angel's. Angel was tagged in the post, but all the caption said was 'West Virginians know how to party'. There was no mention of the fight, no acknowledgement that Angel looked completely surprised in the photo. 

He scrolled through the comments. They were all hearts or eggplant emojis or declarations of jealousy. 

That was Instagram for you, he supposed. Everything sanitized for public consumption, worst qualities twisted into aspirational ones. 

There was no way he could possibly talk about the attempted assault now. He'd just look petty and attention-seeking. He'd get accused of being a gold digger looking for a pay-off. 

And the worst thing about it was that when he checked his own profile, he found that overnight, he'd smashed past ten thousand followers and was edging close to twenty thousand. His follower count had more than doubled, and he didn't even care. It had happened the wrong way. This wasn't the kind of attention he wanted. He didn't want to be seen as Clayton Howard's hookup. 

Morbid curiosity compelled him to check Youtube. Sure enough, Clayton's vlog channel had posted a new video about Charleston, but it mostly covered the daytime as he and his crew had run around the city being obnoxious to locals. Angel's stomach twisted. God, he could see so clearly now how everything Clayton did was an act. An especially grating one, at that. How had he ever had a crush on this guy? 

And then there was Angel on screen, smiling into the camera and throwing up a peace sign as Clayton wrapped his hand around his shoulders. The rest of the video was made up of rapid cuts - walking to Broadway, drinking Fireball shots, dancing. Then a shot that mirrored the photo on Instagram of Clayton kissing Angel, his friends hooting in approval. The video cut to Clayton shouting at the camera for the viewer to buy his merch and subscribe to his channel, and that was it. Video over. His disgusting behavior completely edited out, Angel's fate left in question. 

Angel put the phone down, turning onto his stomach and burying his face in his pillow. He felt like trash. Literal trash, in that he'd been used and tossed away. And nobody even knew it. Nobody would care. After all, he had less than 20k followers. 

He stayed like that for a long time, face pressed into his pillow. Tears came on and off, but he didn't even feel sad. He mostly felt empty. He was nothing, a nobody. A fake persona for the internet to consume and then throw aside. A pretty face that got views. Content. 

His phone rang. He ignored it. It stopped. He continued to lay there, feeling awful. 

Time passed. He wasn't sure how long - he may have dozed off at some point. But then the phone rang again and brought him back to the present. 

He couldn't hide from the world forever. 

He lifted his head and turned to look at the phone, precariously balanced at the edge of the futon. His eyebrows came together in confusion. That wasn't the name he'd expected to see on the caller ID. 

"Hello?" He asked, bringing the phone to his ear. 

"Hey dude," Demie replied. Angel noticed for the first time that despite his tone being monotonous, there was a warmth under Demie's words. His voice was rich and deep, like the ringing of a gong. 

"Demie?" Angel asked. Of course it was Demie. But still, he was surprised. "What… what's up?" 

"Just checking in on you, man. You seemed super out of it last night." 

Oh, that was right. He'd called Demie. He couldn't remember much of the conversation, but one part did stick out in his mind. In his drunken state, he'd told Demie he liked him. And Demie had replied in kind. 

For the first time that day, his heart didn't feel like a cold heavy lump of metal in his chest. 

"Yeah. I'm okay." Angel lied. 

"You sure? You seemed… I dunno. Out of it." 

"I mean…" Angel took a deep, shuddering breath. When he spoke again, he had to fight to keep his voice from cracking. "I just… I really looked up to his guy, but now I know he's a complete ass, and I can't even talk to anyone about it, because they'll just take his side." 

"Yeah, fuck that guy," Demie said, and Angel couldn't help but smile. It was just the way Demie said it - he had no idea who Angel was talking about, and his tone didn't even change, and yet it really felt like he meant it. 

"Honestly, I feel like garbage," Angel said. "I just keep thinking about it over and over and I feel so fucking stupid."

"Yeah, uh…" There was a pause. "Do you wanna listen to a song I've been working on? I dunno, might make you feel better."

"The Orpheus one?" 

"Nah, it's an older song. It's part of this concept album Mar and I were planning about the Trojan war, but Mar moved before we could finish it."

"What's it about?" 

"You know who Achilles is, right?"

"Uh… he had a weak ankle, right? That's why we called it the Achilles Tendon." 

"I mean… that's the really short version of it, yeah. So Achilles had this best friend, Patroclus, who gets killed by Hector of Troy. And Hector takes Patroclus' armor, and that pisses Achilles off, so they fight. So Achilles wins and kills Hector, but instead of giving him funeral rites he ties him by the ankles and drags his body around outside the walls of Troy." 

"That sounds… intense, but okay." 

"Cool, hold on a minute." 

There was some scuffling in the background, and when Demie came back it was clear he was on speakerphone. 

"Okay, ready?" He asked. 

"Sure. Hit me." 

Angel could hear an acoustic guitar. The melody wasn't what he'd expected - he'd expected something fast and brutal, like the stuff he'd heard at the concert. But instead this was slow, plodding, like a funeral march. 

Then Demie's voice came in, low and resonant. Even over the phone it made Angel's sternum vibrate. He sang slowly, deliberately, drawing notes out in long holds. 

The lyrics talked about Achilles, about the pain he felt. It described how he lost a half of his soul, and how he sought revenge. But it wasn't a huge, bombastic revenge - it was a bitter one. The Achilles that Demie sang about couldn't heal the hole in his heart, and so he took it out on Hector. He didn't hate Hector, though, and he felt shame for the way he treated Hector's dead body, and he knew it would lead to his own eventual downfall.

It was a song about the cyclical nature of revenge, and of loss. Angel didn't even notice until the song ended that he was crying. Not silent tears, either - he was actually sobbing. 

There was a clatter as Demie picked up the phone again. 

"What'd you think?" He asked. 

"Holy shit, man," Angel choked. "Holy shit that was so fucking deep." 

"How'd'ya feel?"

"I--" Angel wanted to say that he felt like shit, obviously. He had already felt like garbage and then Demie had gone and sung an incredibly depressing song to him, clearly it would just make things worse. 

And yet, it hadn't. He didn't feel bad at all. In fact, he felt fine. Good, even. Like he was rejuvenated. It was as if the previous night hadn't even happened. 

"I feel better," he admitted.

"Cool. Hey, uh… be careful and stuff, or whatever." 

"Yeah. Yeah, thanks." 

"Cool, see ya." 

"Okay. Thanks. B--" The line went dead before he could tell Demie goodbye. 

He sighed, turning over onto his back. His entire body felt lighter, and the tune of the song swirled around in his head. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but it was like Demie's voice had healed him. His hangover was gone, his anxiety was gone. He wouldn't necessarily say that he was happy, but he felt… good. 

There was one thing he was certain of, though: he was falling fast and hard for Demie. Not in the parasocial internet crush way he'd felt about Clayton Howard, but in an organic way. Demie had been there for him twice now, despite virtually being strangers, and each time he'd come away feeling better. 

Not to mention, the way Demie had sung about Achilles and Patroclus had been so powerfully, painfully gay. 

He wanted so badly to see Demie in person.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Chaos Theory

Part Six

(Even after the disaster of the last part, there are more puzzles to solve. The three boys better hurry on this one, or else there will be consequences.)

They stopped only a few blocks away from the building, sitting on a street corner. Jackie made them stop, despite the fact that they all wanted to get farther away. He remembered the gamemaster’s warning about taking too long, and nerves started eating away at his stomach.

“Here, give me the laptop,” Jackie said. JJ handed him the box with the computer inside.

Chase watched as Jackie booted it up. “I...you know, I’m still not entirely sure what’s going on.” He sounded almost apologetic.

“We’re in Saw,” Jackie said, not taking his eyes away from the screen. “Some psycho decided to kidnap the group and threatened me with your deaths if I didn’t play his fucked-up game and solve his puzzles.”

Chase whistled. “Well, shit.”

“Yeah.” Jackie opened his email, finding another message from the same user as before. This one had a zip folder titled ‘Set 3′ attached. He quickly unzipped it, finding a few files inside: an image called 3.png, a folder called ‘3′, and a text file titled ‘open me first.’ Jackie did so, and inside was a single url. He opened the browser and copy-pasted the url into the search bar.

At first, the three of them found it hard to tell what they were looking at. The website was mostly black, with some white text, and a square that showed a dark video. Until they realized something was moving in the video. Jackie ran his hand through the box until he found the earbuds, plugging them into the laptop and putting them on. Suddenly, when he clicked the little sound icon on the video, he could hear the sound of rushing water and splashing, along with muffled cries and whimpers. His heart sank. “I’m gonna...” He turned up the brightness on the laptop.

Chase gasped. Jameson covered his mouth with his hand, eyes wide. Jackie leaned back. Marvin was in the video, bound and gagged. He was stuck inside a box with glass walls, small enough that he couldn’t straighten his legs. There was water slowly flowing into the box from a connected pipe. There was also a timer in the corner of the video, counting down: 55:12, 55:11, 55:10...

The time on the laptop’s clock read 3:03am.

“Is...is this live?” Chase asked.

“I think it is,” Jackie muttered.

“You can livestream shit like this?!” Chase shook his head. “Why haven’t the police—or whoever—why hasn’t someone stopped this?!”

“Well, firstly, because this video has probably only been active since tonight. And secondly, because you’d be surprised what goes up online.” Jackie leaned closer to the screen, looking around the website. “The Dark Web, you know? There are several sites that are like Twitch for sadists.” Unconsciously, he rubbed his left arm. “I don’t recognize this one, though.”

JJ snapped his fingers, drawing the other two’s attention. There is a timer in this video! he signed in obvious distress. And it’s counting down. I don’t think we want to find out what will happen when it reaches zero.

Jackie shoot his head. “You’re right. We need to hurry. My guess is that timer is how long it’ll take for that box to fill up with water, and then...” He shuddered, immediately closing the web page. “We have to find out where that is. And it’s going to be in the puzzles, just like before.”

He clicked on the 3.png image. It opened to a picture with a dark red background and black text reading: “SEEK THROUGH THE CATALOG, FIND WHAT’S BELOW.” The text was followed by that symbol of a skull inside a hollow circle, divided in four. Below the text were three black-and-white photographs with captions beneath them: a black wand with white ends labeled “Magic Wand,” a spread-out deck of cards labelled “Card Game,” and a white fluffy cat labeled “Norwegian Forest Cat.”

Jackie frowned. “Okay, I don’t know what this means other than some sort of instructions, so I’m just going to plug this image into the editing program and see if anything shows up when I play with sliders.”

It sounds like we’re meant to find those images in some sort of catalog, JJ figured. But what catalog?

“I dunno. Maybe it’s in that other folder. You know, that came with this?” Chase wondered.

Jackie paused. “Maybe. I haven’t found anything in this image yet, so we can look what’s in there.” He went back into the files and opened the folder labeled 3.

What was inside were countless black-and-white photos, all with names written in numbers and a few letters. “What the...?” Jackie scrolled down...and down...and down...until he grabbed the scroll bar with his mouse and pulled it all the way to the bottom. “There must be hundreds of images in here!”

“Jesus,” Chase muttered. “Uh, I think this is the catalog.”

“How are we supposed to find three pictures out of all these?!” Jackie threw his hands in the air. “That could take hours! W-we don’t have that much time!” Jackie clasped his hand over his mouth, trying and failing to keep his eyes from watering. “It was rigged. This whole thing was rigged, we were never going to win it.” He blinked, and tears started falling down his face. He’d been scrambling, frantically trying to complete puzzles and reach the locations quickly, only for this? For two of his friends to die without him being able to do anything about it? What a sick game this was.

“No no no no, there has to be a way,” Chase took the laptop, using the mousepad to scroll through the photos, eyes scanning in rows. “Maybe they’re really early on, and this is meant to discourage us.”

“Chase, I don’t think that’s the case.” Jackie buried his hands in his folded arms. He was shaking.

“No, listen, there has to be a way.” Chase didn’t take his eyes off the screen. “This guy’s a sick fuck, but he also has another set of puzzles after this, he’s not gonna rig it so you fail before getting to that last set. There has to be a way to find—” He stopped, eyes suddenly widening. “We can use the find feature.”

Jackie looked up with red-rimmed eyes. “The what?”

“The find feature, the search bar, it’s built in to your files.” Chase circled the mouse around the search bar in the upper right corner of the window. “We just need to know what the images are called.”

“Well, uh...I think he gave us the image names. In the other picture, with the instructions.” Jackie gently took back the computer, switching to the other image. “See? Magic Wand, Card Game, and Norwegian Forest Cat.” Jackie typed the first phrase, Magic Wand, into the search bar. Nothing came up.

JJ tapped Jackie’s shoulder for attention. All the photo titles are in that same code from before, he pointed out. Perhaps we simply need to encode the titles of the images we’re looking for?

Jackie suddenly threw his arms around JJ. “Jameson Jackson, you’re a genius.” He let go, then turned to his other side and hugged Chase too. “And you also, Chase! I don’t know if I’d have thought of the search.”

“Aw, it’s nothing,” Chase muttered, smiling a bit.

Really no problem at all, JJ signed.

“Well, I would’ve been stuck for a while. And time is of the essence.” Jackie opened up the same online code converter from before. He typed in the first phrase again, and then copied the result—4d 61 67 69 63 20 57 61 6e 64—and pasted it into the file search bar. Immediately, the image they’d been looking for popped up. “Yes!” Jackie shouted, punching the air.

“Wait, something’s up.” Chase leaned over and opened the image. There was a strange bit at the bottom, taken up with a white and black boxy symbol. “That looks like...I dunno, part of a QR code.”

“How much do you want to bet the rest of the code is in the other two images?” Jackie muttered.

After encoding the other titles and finding the images, it was clear that the QR code was split up between the three images. Jackie plugged all three into the photo editor, and arranged them next to each other so the code was complete. He patted his suit. “Fuck, do either of you have your phone?”

Chase checked his pockets. “No. I last remember setting it down on my desk, but then I passed out and woke up in that...place.”

JJ waggled his mustache, and pulled out his phone with a grin.

“Jays, I love you so much,” Jackie laughed. “Oh, the old-fashioned man is the one with the smartphone, how ironic.”

JJ passed it to Jackie. It’s very helpful. I’m trying to make a habit of keeping it on my person.

“That’s a good idea.” Jackie leaned back a bit as he tried to get the entire code in view of the camera. Then he snapped a picture, and a notification immediately popped up, saying the code had been understood and explaining what it would do. “This’ll take us to a website...” Jackie said, clicking on the notification to activate the code. The browser on the phone opened up, 

Chase leaned over. “What’s that?”

“It’s a crossword puzzle.” Jackie groaned. He’d hoped the QR code would just give them the location to find Marvin, but no such luck. “Alright. Some of the squares are colored red, and at the bottom there’s this thing...” He scrolled down, and read out loud. “‘The address is 68′ and then a blank space. I bet we have to solve the crossword puzzle and then plug the letters from the red squares into this space to find the street address.”

Then what are we waiting for? JJ asked. What is the puzzle asking for?

Jackie looked through the hints. “Looks like a bunch of trivia...oh! I know the answer to number one! It’s Undertale.” Jackie smiled a bit. That was Marvin’s favorite game...thinking of Marvin, the smile faded. “Okay. Let’s go.”

By the time they finished, the clock read 3:25am. Piecing together the letters from the red squares, they came up with the address of 68 Aspen St. “That’s on the other side of town!” Jackie cried, distressed. “Okay. Okay, I can probably run there quickly, you guys will have to catch—”

“We can drive,” Chase suggested.

JJ frowned. Chase, I know you can drive, but you don’t have your car.

“There’s a car right there, in that parking lot.” Chase pointed diagonally across the street. There was indeed a single car in an empty lot. “Jackie, do you still know how to hotwire things?”

“Ah—I mean, yeah, but are we really about to steal a car?” Jackie asked tentatively.

It’s either that or let Marvin die! JJ signed furiously. We can return it after!

Jackie jumped at JJ’s sudden motion, but then nodded. “Yeah, guess it’s the lesser of two evils, huh?” He shut the laptop. “Alright. We have to hurry. If my math’s correct, we only have about half an hour before that timer counts down. Let’s go.”

[golbrocklovely]

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter eleven: i see you and i just can’t breathe

A/N: hey guys! sorry i haven’t updated this story in a week. i’ve been having some personal problems and trying to balance writing out this story more. but i’m okay, so don’t worry :) that being said, let me know what you think of this next chapter!

description of the story

taglist:  @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose

trigger warning: cursing (as usual lol)

word count: 2273

~~~~~~~~~~~~

DAY 5/14

"Can I do your intro?" I mumbled, looking over at Colby.

He smiled cheekily. "Yeah sure, go ahead."

I cleared my throat, getting into character. "Hey what's up you guys, Colby Brock here! And today I'm here with..."

"Skye." Colby muttered, holding back a laugh.

"Skye! And as you can see in the title, I'm gonna be interviewing her, and vice versa."

"Alright, I guess this is your youtube channel now."

We both stared at each other, and then busted out into laughter.

"Hey what's up you guys, it's Colby. And I'm here with Skye. She makes videos on her channel, which you should go check out. She's also a fan of me and Sam. And, she's my friend." He explained.

"That I am." I chimed in.

"And as she has already told you, I'm gonna be interviewing her. And she's also gonna be interviewing me." Colby stated, looking directly at the camera. 

He continued, "So, we each have a couple questions and we're gonna just go back and forth and we have to answer them truthfully. No matter how uncomfortable the question might be."

"Mind you, we have no idea of each other's questions. Do you wanna go first or should I?" I replied.

"I'll start. This one is easy. How long have you been a fan of us?" He asked, looking down at his phone and then looking up at me.

"Oh okay. Um... since 2016. I found you guys because Elton's videos. Or TFILs." I answered.

He nodded his head. "Cool. Did you instantly become a fan or did it take a while for you to like us?"

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't instant, but it didn't take long for me to fall in love with you and Sam." I blushed at my own words.

He grinned. "Awh, that's so sweet. What's your question for me?"

I glanced down at my phone. "My first question is is there a video on either yours or the duo channel that you wish you could change? Maybe it's not edited right, or the content isn't as great as it could be. Just any video that stands out that you just don't like."

He cocked his head to the side. "Um... I know on Sam and mine's channel some of our earlier videos are so cringey. Like where we give relationship advice or talk about girls in general. Some of our earlier videos just weren't that interesting."

"Is there any one that stands out?" I questioned.

"Not that I can think of. But any of our first vids, honestly." He insisted. I nodded my head as he kept talking. "Next question! Whose content do you like more: mine's or Sam's?"

I gasped. "What the fuck Colby?! I'm not answering that."

"You have to. You have to." He laughed, covering his face.

"Fine then... Sam's." I smirked.

"What?! Why don't you go be on Sam's channel then?" He mocked.

"Alright, BYE!" I started to get up, but he lightly grabbed my arm and pulled me back down, making me laugh. "I'm just kidding, but seriously Sam's."

He rolled his eyes, and I asked my second question. "My next question for you is would you ever sing on camera... like for real."

"Oh God. If I did, I would need like a lot of practice. I'm not good." He admitted.

"I don't think you're bad." I disagreed.

Colby looked at the camera."She's lying, I suck."

"No, you don't. I mean, even really good singers take voice lessons. So if you want, you should take some." I explained.

"Maybe I'll think about it. Thumbs up this video if you want me to sing." He smirked, pointing at the camera.

"The video becomes the most disliked video." I murmured.

He turned his head to me, gasping. "How could you." I giggled back.

He softly swatted my knee, chuckling back at me. "Anyway, one of my last questions for you is what content, as a fan, would you like to see from me?"

"Wow. That's a good question." I said.

"Thanks." He replied.

"Uh... if I'm honest, I think you should start posting more serious videos. Like, be open with the fans about your feelings and whatnot. I mean, compared to Sam's channel, you don't really have any 'personal' videos. I'm not expecting you to cry on camera or anything, but if you got more... real with us, I think that would be nice to see. Maybe once every couple months, just do like a sit down video and open up." I finished, finally looking up into his eyes. He had been staring at me the whole time.

"Shit... that's something I'll keep in mind." He nodded his head lightly.

"Yeah." I whispered, still looking into his eyes. After a pause, I could feel my face starting to heat up. I looked away. "...So my last question for you is what is your favorite part about this fandom?"

"Oh, it's all the love and support you guys send to me on the daily. I mean, if I'm ever having a bad day, I know I can go to my dms or my notices on twitter and see all the beautiful messages you guys send to me. Thank you guys for all of it, really. You guys are the best fans in the world." He declared, addressing the camera mostly.

He turned to me and smiled. "Now my final question for you is... would you like to go exploring with me and Sam?"

"Sometime soon?" I asked.

"Maybe..." He teased, smirking.

"If I'm invited, sure." I smiled, giggling slightly.

"Okay, then, that being said, that's gonna be it for today's video. Shout out to Skye for being an awesome fan and doing this for me kinda last minute." He informed, turning his head back to the camera.

"Yeah, he literally texted me yesterday about this." I mentioned, getting another jokingly dirty look from Colby.

"Why you gotta call me out like that?" He muttered, his frown changing into a smile quickly. "Anyway, leave a like if you enjoyed. Comment down below your favorite part. And I'll see you next week. Peace!" He blew a kiss at the camera, reaching over to turn it off.

I waved at the camera. "Bye."

He sat back down on his couch, looking over at me. "So, how was that for you?"

I smiled. "That was really fun. And went by really fast."

He nodded his head. "Simple videos like this are really fast to film and edit for me anymore."

"When are you gonna post this?" I asked, sitting up in my seat and crossing my legs.

"Next week. I filmed a video this week with Brennen so I have that to post and then next week I'll be posting this." He informed me, taking his camera off the tripod.

"Is there anything you need to do before the party tonight?"

"Actually yeah. I need to run to the store and get some alcohol and probably some more cups. Do you wanna come with me? And then if you want I can drop you off back at your house?"

"That's sounds good." I agreed, smiling.

He smiled back, grabbing his keys. "Okay then, let's go."

/  /  /  /

"What type of alcohol do you like?" Colby asked, glancing around the aisle at all the alcohol.

"I'm more of a vodka lady myself. Specifically, Grey Goose." I revealed, shrugging.

Colby gasped mockingly. "Oh wow. Someone's boujee."

"What do you like drinking?" I sassed.

"Jack. Or Crown Royal." He replied.

"Isn't whiskey for old men?" I jeered, smirking.

"Shut up." He teased, grinning.

I sighed. "What else do we need to get anyway?"

"Cups, and I think that's it." He answered, slowly starting to push the cart.

I stopped the cart, grabbing his attention. "Can you hold the cart still for a sec?"

"Sure."

Colby held the cart, as I slowly threw my leg over it to get inside. As I sat down in it, I faced Colby, who shook his head and smiled. He then started pushing the cart again. While he went up and down the aisle, I snuck a photo of him. Posting to my snapchat, I typed the caption "I love having a personal driver".

We finally arrived next to the plastic cups. He grabbed a set and threw them in, smacking me in the stomach. I gasped, and he just smirked at me and began to push the cart up the next aisle.

"I'm gonna pick up some more sodas." He said.

"Try not to throw that on me." I huffed, staring up at him.

"Can't guarantee." He whispered, giving me a wink.

He took two sodas from the shelves and drove the cart over to the self-check out section. After scanning the items and paying, all while I'm still in the cart, he rode the cart over to his car. He took the four bags and put them in his trunk.

"Can you help me out?" I asked, raising my arms to him.

He nodded his head, and I grabbed his shoulders. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me out of the cart. I landed on my feet in front of him.

"Thank you." I giggled.

A smile fell across his lips. "No problem."

Our eyes met for a moment. I could feel his arms still around me and my hands were still resting on his shoulders. We were chest-to-chest, almost too close for comfort. I slowly slide my hands down his arms, and he let go of me, our gaze falling off each other.

/  /  /  /

I waved to Colby from the door as he drove away. I shut the front door, leaning against it and sighing.

Maybe my heart can finally relax now...

I walked over to Casey's room where I could hear music being played. I opened her door and saw her sitting at her vanity, playing around with make-up.

"Hey Cas." I said, walking into her room and laying down on her bed.

"Hi. So how did your day go with loverboy?" Her eyes landed on me through her mirror.

I exhaled. "Fine. The video went really well. After we filmed, we went shopping for the party."

Her tone of voice changed. "Can you be honest with me for a second?"

"I'm always honest." My face twisted up.

She shook her head in disagreement. "Not when it comes to your feelings for Colby."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Skye, why are you pretending? It is so obvious that you like Colby. Why don't you just admit it?"

"The same reasons you don't admit that you like Brennen." I deadpanned.

She sighed deeply. "We're not talking about me."

I chuckled. "Funny enough, that is the same thing Brennen said to me when I told him to admit his feelings for you."

She rolled her eyes. "You really do have a knack for changing the subject, Skye."

After a moment, I answered, "Do you really wanna hear me say it?"

"Yes." She replied, turning to me.

"I... like Colby. A lot, actually. But why is it so important for me to admit it?" I grumbled, my shoulders dropping.

"Because you haven't shown interest in a guy in years. You're always so cynical when it comes to love and romance and all that mushy stuff." She complained.

"Well, I haven't exactly had a good track record with any guy so, I'm gonna be a little hesitant." I scoffed, glaring at her.

"Colby's different though." She noted, getting up from her vanity and walking over to her closet.

One of my eyebrows raised. "How is he different?"

"Because he for sure likes you." She said nonchalantly.

"I don't think so." I shook my head.

"Colby likes you. And you like him. One of you needs to take the next step forward and just admit it already. Maybe even tonight at the party." She shrugged, a soft smile on her lips.

...Maybe.

/  /  /  /

"Skye, c'mon! If the uber comes and you're not ready, I'm leaving without you." Casey yelled from the living room.

I rolled my eyes at Casey's words. Looking at myself in the mirror, I cocked my head to the side, trying to get a different angle. I don't usually dress up, not because I'm above it; it's because I don't think I look good.

My maroon, flowy dress clung to my upper torso and cascaded from my waist down. The sleeves of the dress hit just slightly past my wrist. The tights underneath the dress were lacy and black, combined with my platform boots.

"Skyeeeee!" She shouted.

Sighing, I called back. "I'm coming."

Grabbing my purse off my bed, I headed out of my room. Walking into the living room, I met with Casey, who had her back to me.

"Are you finally..." She turned around to me, her sentence falling off when she saw me.

I shifted my gaze. "What?"

"Holy shit. You look gorgeous!" She exclaimed.

I smirked. "Are you saying I'm ugly the rest of the time?"

Her shoulders slouched. "You really know how to turn a positive into a negative."

I shrugged. "It's what I do best."

"But seriously, you look so good Skye." She responded, smiling brightly.

"Thank you. You look so pretty yourself. Are you trying to catch a certain boy's eye?" I nudged her with my elbow, smirking again.

She scoffed. "I think you might be projecting. I can't wait 'til Colby sees you. He's gonna drop dead."

I swatted my hand at her. "He probably won't even notice I'm there."

<< CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 12 >>

[vernonfielding]

Life Writes Its Own Stories

Chapter 8! (And on AO3, of course.)

I came back from my trip a day early, so here we go again. I should be back to posting a chapter every other day from now to the end.

Amy woke to a face full of sunshine.

She squinted her eyes closed and groaned, burying her face in her pillow. Several thoughts came to her, one right after another: Her pillow smelled weird, her pillow felt weird, and she had not once in the three years she’d lived in her apartment woken up with the sun in her face. Amy blinked her eyes open and rolled onto her back, and the night washed over her again, every lovely bit of it. She smiled up at the ceiling over Jake’s bed and then turned and smiled at the man himself.

He was asleep, curled up on his side facing her. His hair was a fluffy mess. One hand was tucked under his pillow, the other folded into a loose fist. Amy remembered falling asleep with his arm around her waist, holding her to him, but they must have separated in the night and now she was happy to indulge in watching over him.

She’d noticed from the moment they met that he was attractive, but over all of their shared meals and late-night outings, she’d never really taken stock of him: his full lips, his sharply defined cheekbones that were so often disguised by a smile or laugh, the dimple in his chin and the single, perfect curl that dipped over his forehead. His face, normally so expressive, was smooth in sleep and she thought about tracing the line of his brow, the ridge of his nose, the curve of his jaw. She thought about kissing his eyelids and waking him up.

When Jake had kissed her that first time a few days ago, she’d been momentarily overpowered by a physical attraction to him – and that was all she had thought it was, a gut-deep desire for a man who was undeniably hot. So she’d pushed him away, because kissing (that would likely to lead to much more than kissing) was absolutely not okay between reporters and their sources. Intimacy of any sort led to bias and poor decision making; it turned journalism into a trade industry.

Amy’s guilt and shame had been so profound that night that she swore she’d been marked in some way, as though even strangers would see her failure written on her face. It occurred to her that they had practically been dating for weeks -- that even before he kissed her, before she kissed him back, she had crossed a line. She felt awful for herself, for having betrayed her own moral code, and she felt awful for Jake, whom she had obviously misled.

So it was a gift that the next several days flew by in a crush of anxiety and exhilaration as she finally put her article to bed. She had no time to dwell on her personal mistakes when she was arguing over headlines with Terry and Charles and writing and rewriting every photo caption and fact-checking every detail, from the numbers in her bar charts to the hyperlinks and hashtags they would use on social media. On Saturday she convinced Charles to print out page proofs so she could do one last edit of the printed version of her story, and she suggested word choice and grammar revisions until finally, when they were on the verge of what was sure to be an embarrassing slap-fight over an Oxford comma, Charles shoved her out the front doors and told her she needed to relax and let someone wash her hair.

“I have just the person in mind,” he called after her, as Amy stomped down the block.

She’d slept fitfully that night, waking up just about every hour to check her phone. At daybreak, a post from the Bulletin Twitter account went out. Her favorite brother sent her a congratulatory email that Amy read over a breakfast of plain toast because she couldn’t stomach anything else. By noon, the story was viral (at least locally – it was never going to make The Daily Show, Amy kept reminding herself).

When the mayor announced on Twitter that he was personally looking into the jail situation and linked to Amy’s story, she was stunned and elated. And she was blindsided by a wave of sadness: She missed Jake.

She missed his smile and the way his eyes went soft when she was talking about something personal. She missed the way he tugged at his hair when he was looking over the documents she’d asked him to read for her. She missed his forearms when he rolled up his sleeves and the way his one eyebrow quirked when he laughed.

She even missed the gummy worms he consumed by the handful when they were meeting at a bar and he got snacky while translating penal codes, and she missed the ketchup and orange soda stains on her documents, and she missed having to rearrange all of her papers when she got home because he never paid attention to her tabs.

She just missed him. And she missed sharing this success with him.

Later in the day, when Gina had texted that the newsroom was getting drinks and it was definitely not because of her story but because they were all bored, Amy had been sitting at her laptop with a dozen tabs open on her browser for essays on journalism ethics and dating sources. She’d joined them for drinks because it seemed pathetic not to, and she’d been honestly touched by their support. But she’d also been miserable, because all she could think was that she’d messed up everything. Her life was amazing, and she’d screwed it all up.

Then Jake had texted. Just seeing his dumb code name appear on her screen had made her heart leap into her throat, and she’d known then that she couldn’t let him go. She had to at least see him, and try.

Now, she really did have it all. And lying in his bed, with the sun in her face and the smell of him in her (his) pillow, she felt content to just be. So she stared at him for a while, until the sun had shifted enough that it was blocked by the partly drawn curtains, and it dawned on her – so to speak – that she couldn’t remember if she’d set her alarm and she had no idea what time it was. She panicked for just a moment and quickly rolled over, hand slapping on the bedside table for her phone. She squinted at it – her contact lenses felt glued to her eyeballs – and sighed when she saw that she was only five minutes past her alarm.

Of course, she was going to need to go home and shower before going into work, and she’d wanted to go in early so she could check in with Terry and Holt before heading to Manhattan for the NPR interview, and she obviously hadn’t laid out her clothes the night before or set the timer on her coffeemaker.

Amy glanced at her phone again and did some quick math and decided that if she skipped coffee and didn’t wash her hair – it was just radio, it wasn’t like she had to look great – and planned her outfit on the way to her apartment then she could save six minutes, which still wasn’t ideal but she could make it work.

But then she glanced back at Jake, and the sudden pulse of affection for him pushed everything else aside. She could be a little late. She kissed his forehead, just beneath the curl, and each of his eyelids, and she covered his hand with her own as he blinked his eyes open and smiled back at her.

+++

Amy ended up texting Terry to tell him she was going straight into the city for her interview and he said that was fine. She didn’t get into the newsroom until noon, and by then she was famished and caffeine-deprived and still practically vibrating with joy. Her story had been a huge success and she had kissed the man she really, really liked and she’d had sex – three times! – the night before. The fact that they hadn’t fallen asleep until nearly 3 a.m. – because: three times – wasn’t a problem. Amy felt like she might never need to sleep again.

She spent the day working on a follow-up story around the mayor’s plan to investigate the jail recordings. She also fielded several unpleasant phone calls from the head of the corrections department and his deputies, until one of them demanded a full retraction and she finally had to pass them on to Terry and Holt to deal with, which was fine by her. They both had her back, and she’d never doubted they would, but it was still nice to be supported. So nice, actually, that by the end of the day, as Terry was editing her story, she started feeling guilty again.

“I have to tell you something,” Amy said, or rather blurted, when Terry had finished editing. It was 6 p.m. and it had been a pretty slow day so the newsroom was mostly cleared out; only Hitchcock was left, and he had his head pillowed on his arms at his desk and was snoring.

“Terry doesn’t love the sound of that,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. “Oh man, are you quitting? You’re going to the Times already? I thought we’d get at least another year out of you.”

“No!” Amy said, then, “Wait, what? You think I’ll be at the Times in a year?”

“Uh-”

“Wow.” Amy tried to think of a more appropriate response. “That’s- wow.”

She sort of spaced out for a moment, until Terry cleared his throat and said, “You had something to tell me?”

“Oh, right. I did.” Amy shook herself out of her Times fantasy and reminded herself of the task at hand. Immediately, nerves made her stomach flutter and her palms sweat.

She’d considered waiting a while to tell her bosses about Jake, just long enough for them to actually start dating and see where things were headed. But that was her fear speaking, and she knew she had to do what was right. She swallowed hard, working up the courage to tell Terry. She really liked her job, and she was pretty sure they weren’t going to fire her but they were almost definitely going to make her change beats, which was going to be disappointing. But she had to be up front with them.

“Santiago-”

“I’m boinking my source!”

It came out as a sort of squeak-yell and Amy was glad no one else was around to hear her.

“Um, I mean, I’m dating him. Well, I guess not technically dating yet, but sleeping with him. You know, like-” She mashed her hands together in a movement that definitely didn’t connote sex, unless it was really bad sex.

“Yeah, I think I’ve got it,” Terry said, sounding both perplexed and slightly amused. “Well, this is...something that we need to talk to Holt about.”

Terry stood up and peered around her at Holt’s office.

“Now?” Amy felt suddenly like she might faint.

“It’s as good a time as any,” Terry said. He gently took Amy’s elbow and steered her across the newsroom. “He’s thrilled with your article and the response it’s gotten.”

“He is?” Amy said, pride pushing aside her nerves for a moment. “I mean, I knew he was pleased, but thrilled? Did he say that? Or are you just inferring? Because if he said that-”

“I can just tell,” Terry said. He paused outside Holt’s open office door. “Just be honest with him. And don’t say ‘boinking.’”

“Roger that.”

Terry tapped on the door before leading Amy inside. He asked if Holt was busy, and Holt said, “I’m always busy,” but he put down his pencil and invited them to sit.

Somehow, Amy pulled herself together. She explained, calmly, that she had developed feelings for someone who used to be a source, and that they had decided to start dating. She said that she had already informed him that she would no longer be able to use him as a source, and that if he told her anything newsworthy she would pass it on to one of her colleagues. She expressed that she wanted to keep covering the police beat, but she would understand if they didn’t trust her in that position anymore, and she would happily accept any new assignment they offered. When she was done, she folded her hands in her lap and squared her shoulders and forced herself not to think about what would happen if they fired her.

“I see,” Holt said, with no inflection that Amy could discern. “Well, it would seem as though you’ve taken the necessary precautions and insulated yourself from potential bias as well as possible. I see no reason you cannot remain on the police beat, for now. But note, I will be paying close attention, as will Terry, and if one of us believes you are compromised we will take action.”

Amy blinked, stunned that she was going to be allowed to keep covering cops. She smiled and nodded sharply, then stood up and stuck out her hand. Holt looked at her outstretched hand for a moment and then smiled a little and shook it. His grip was firm, and so was hers.

“I promise I won’t let you down, sir,” Amy said.

She turned and strode out of his office. She was just outside the door when she heard Holt say, “She knows she doesn’t have to call me ‘sir,’ right?”

“I don’t think so,” said Terry.

+++

Jake was pleased for Amy that her conversation about dating a cop had gone over so well with her bosses. It clearly helped ease her mind to have their blessing – or at least their not-firing – and that was great, he wanted her to be as relaxed and stress-free and not-guilty as possible when it came to being with him.

But there was no universe in which he was planning to similarly come out to the Vulture, or just about anyone else in the NYPD. He’d probably tell Rosa at some point – maybe, eventually; most likely after she figured it out on her own and forced it out of him – and it wasn’t like he expected to sneak around with Amy for the foreseeable future. He just would rather keep it between them (and Amy’s bosses) for the moment.

He was still in awe that there even was a them.

Jake knew he didn’t have much of a tolerance for wide-swinging emotions. In fact, his grasp on his own emotional health was at times staggeringly bad. He did a decent job keeping his feelings under control day to day – denial and compartmentalization were his go-to coping mechanisms and he excelled at both (thanks, Roger Peralta) – but when strong emotions hit, they hit hard.

Once, during a department-mandated therapy session after a lengthy undercover stint, a counselor had told Jake that he’d benefit from developing a toolbox of decompressing strategies for when things got rough. For some reason Jake had found the suggestion hilarious, imagining a literal toolbox filled with hammers and wrenches and pliers. When he’d mentioned it to Rosa, she’d said that bashing things with tools was exactly what she did when she was angry – that or glass-blowing – and Jake had actually bought a toolbox online that day. It was currently collecting dust in the back of his sneaker closet.

So yeah, he wasn’t great with emotions. And the past few days had involved a dizzying array of them. After the depressing lows that had followed their first kiss, the pure elation of their second kiss had been almost overwhelming. Jake had felt lighter and happier the next day than he could ever remember. He’d also felt exhausted, though it was a satisfied, dreamy, peaceful kind of fatigue.

They’d seen each other again that night, and every night after for the rest of the week, and though they’d had sex they hadn’t actually slept together again. They’d ordered takeout and turned on a movie and basically made out (and more) on his or her sofa until one of them yawned and they agreed it was late and they both had to get up early. It was kind of perfect.

Amy was kind of perfect.

But by Friday Jake had decided they needed a proper date, and so he chose a restaurant and made a reservation and texted Amy that he’d pick her up at 7. Then he and Rosa got called to a dead body, and a suspect in an unrelated robbery case they’d been working for two weeks had literally tripped over their crime scene, and by 6 Jake was covered in blood and subway muck and still had a report to finish. He texted Amy to tell her he’d meet her at the restaurant.

Which was how he arrived at their first official date almost half an hour late, hair still damp from the shower, fumbling the knot of his necktie as he pushed through the crowded foyer to the host station.

“What happened to your face?” Amy said, when he got to her side.

“What?”

Amy brushed her fingers over her own cheek and Jake did the same, wincing when he touched the small cut. “Oh, that.”

The host came then and glared a lot, but he took them to a table despite Jake’s tardiness. It was an intimate restaurant, quiet and dark with small tables clustered close together. The host handed them menus with a sneer that Jake had to believe was not in the employee handbook.

“Sorry I’m late,” Jake said, once they were seated.

Amy smiled back at him and shrugged. “I get the feeling it’s something I’m going to get used to.”

“You look nice,” he said. “I like the dress.”

“It’s not a dress, it’s a skirt and blouse,” Amy said, and then grimaced. “But, thank you. You look nice too. I’ve never seen you in a tie before.”

Jake ducked his head and ran a hand self-consciously over the wrinkled necktie. He’d only had time for about a two-minute shower at the precinct before coming straight to the restaurant. He was just lucky he always kept a spare tie and a semi-clean shirt shoved in the back of his desk for emergency court dates.

“So what happened today?” Amy gestured again to his face.

“It’s actually an insane story.”

“Wait!” Amy said, holding up a hand. “Like, the kind of insane I’d want to write an article about? Or insane like, your job is disgusting and/or hilarious but not fit for print?”

“Definitely the latter,” Jake said.

“Go on, then.” Amy leaned toward him, resting her chin in her hand.

“So Rosa and I got called to a dead body on the subway tracks near Bergen. But when we get there, the dead body’s actually a dog, and it’s been turned inside-out. Like, nose to tail. And the smell-”

Jake paused because Amy was shooting him a wide-eyed warning glare and darting her eyes back and forth. He looked to either side and saw that their dining neighbors were staring at him with looks of utter horror. The woman to his left set her utensils on the table and shoved her plate away.

“Uh, I’ll tell you the rest later,” Jake said.

“I think that would be best.”

They exchanged embarrassed smiles, and Jake said, “Well, what about you? How was your day?”

“Pretty good, actually,” Amy said. “It’s nice being back on the regular police beat after all that time on the jail story. Like today, I got to do this story on a severed head-”

“Oh! The one they found in the fish tank?”

“Yes!” Amy said. “You know about that case? It’s so crazy.”

“So crazy!” Jake said. “You should see the photos.”

Jake was reaching for his cell phone in his jacket pocket when he spotted the same lady on his left staring at him with murder in her eyes. He glanced back at Amy, who was getting the same death glare from a different diner.

“Maybe later,” Amy said weakly.

They turned to their menus then, each fairly mortified. After they’d ordered, Jake grasped for a more appropriate topic, and finally asked Amy to tell him more about some of her coworkers.

“I’m always going on about the Vulture,” he said. “What’s your boss like?”

“Oh god, nothing like Pembroke,” Amy said. “Terry, he’s my regular editor, he’s really gentle and supportive but he knows how to get the best out of you. And Holt is incredible. He’s so smart and ethical and detail-oriented, and he has impeccable news judgment. He’s the most impressive man I’ve ever met.”

“So, what you’re saying is I should be jealous of your editor.” Jake smirked at her.

Amy turned red and said, “No! He’s great but he’s not- I mean, I love Holt, but I’m not in love with him.”

Jake fully laughed, and it occurred to him that his maybe-girlfriend was not exactly suave and that he maybe found that adorable.

Amy waited out his laughter with only a mild look of annoyance, then asked Jake to tell her more about Rosa. “Police partnerships must be so intense. I bet you know everything about each other.”

“I know her first and last name and that she lives somewhere in Brooklyn,” Jake said. He hesitated and thought that over. “Probably.”

“Oh,” Amy said, face falling. The waiter arrived then with their dinner salads, and Amy leaned toward him and said, in a low voice, “Jake, are we bad at this?”

He didn’t respond right away. Things were undeniably weird. And he supposed some of that was to be expected, given that they’d always had a kind of invisible barrier between them when they’d met in public – a professional line they couldn’t cross. He snapped his fingers then, startling Amy into dropping her fork.

“I’ve got it,” he said. “I think things were easy before because we were always surrounded by all your notes and binders, and they were like, I don’t know, a fortress keeping out the weird.”

“Okay,” Amy said, slowly. “So you need me to bring binders next time? Because I can do that.”

“No,” Jake said, shaking his head. “Not binders – liquor.”

“What?”

“Conversation grease,” he said, lifting a hand to get their waiter’s attention. “Four shots of-” He glanced at Amy, who shrugged. “Your medium-est shelf whiskey.”

+++

They stumbled back to Amy’s place from the restaurant, both of them a pleasant sort of tipsy that was warm and giggly and affectionate, Jake’s arm slung around Amy’s shoulders, her fingers tucked into the back of his belt. When she let them inside, Jake backed her into the wall beside her front door and kissed her, clumsy and teasing. She fisted his tie in one hand to pull him closer and felt him smile against her lips.

“You,” she said, tipping her head back to speak, “are an amazing detective.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “I know,” he said, “but maybe be more specific?”

“The way you figured out why things were weird and then fixed it,” Amy said, and she cupped a hand over the back of his neck and pulled him toward her again, lips brushing against his. “That was brilliant.”

“Dear lord, you are good at this,” Jake said.

Then they stopped talking for a while. Jake took her hand and led them back to her bedroom, where he gently pushed her onto the bed and sprawled out beside her, and they undressed each other slowly and had sex on top of the bedspread, their bodies illuminated by the light coming from the hallway and the streetlamps outside her windows. After, Jake pulled the quilt she kept folded at the end of the bed up over them, and they laid facing each other, arms tucked under their heads.

“You never told me where you got this,” Amy said, brushing her fingertips against the shallow cut on his cheek.

He wrapped his hand around hers and kissed her fingers, one at a time, before answering.

“This robbery suspect Rosa and I had been looking for, he showed up at the dog-body crime scene, like out of nowhere. I think he was just going to get the train. He freaked out when he saw us and took off down the subway tracks, we pursued, and when I took him down we sort of scuffled and I guess he got in a hit or two.” Jake shrugged. “I didn’t even know he’d hit me until we got back on the platform and Rosa said something. I was way more focused on the fact that I was covered in subway slime.”

Amy shuddered at the thought. “I hope you’re up to date on your vaccines. I bet you can get diseases you’ve never even heard of from subway slime.”

“Or, if you want to look on the bright side, maybe I could become a slime monster. Oh! Like the Swamp Thing, only the Subway Thing.” Jake paused, a faraway look in his eyes. “That’d be so dope.”

“Didn’t you ever think it was lame that the Swamp Thing was just a ‘thing,’” Amy said. “Like, they couldn’t come up with a better description?”

“I had never thought that before, but I love the way your mind works,” Jake said. Amy smiled, and he smiled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

They grew quiet, and Jake traced patterns across her shoulder and down her arm with his fingers, whorls and lines that made her shiver. Amy studied his face and marveled at the closeness they seemed to have developed, despite knowing not a lot about one another.

Amy had been in relationships, two or three serious ones, but they’d always just fizzled out, whatever small spark that got them started snuffed at the smallest huff of irritation. What Amy felt for Jake, after only knowing him for a few weeks, already seemed more vibrant, more durable.

“Did I ever tell you my dad was a cop?” Amy said, soft in the darkness.

Jake’s fingers paused on her skin, and he laid his palm flat on her shoulder instead. “No, you’ve never mentioned him.”

“He retired a few years ago. Victor Santiago.”

Jake’s eyes went wide, and his hand squeezed around her bicep. “Captain Victor Santiago? He’s your dad?”

Amy beamed and nodded. “You know him?”

“I know of him. He’s a legend, Amy,” Jake said. “Oh wait, wow, so Manny and Jesus are your brothers?”

“They’re cops too, yes,” Amy said. “And Tony.”

“Yeah, Tony. He’s kind of a dick.” Jake grimaced. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be. He is a dick.”

Jake chuckled, and shook his head slowly. “Wow, I can’t believe you’re one of those Santiagos. It never even occurred to me.”

“I guess there’s a lot we don’t know about each other,” Amy said.

Jake caught her eye, and he moved his hand to the back of her head and pulled her toward him, his mouth close enough that she could feel his warm breath on her lips.

“Tell me everything,” he said.

Amy kissed him, hard enough to leave him breathless. “Later,” she said, and rolled on top of him.

CHAPTER 9

[twdmusicboxmystery]

9x06: Details - A Lot of Them!

Okay, you know how yesterday, I said I didn't have much to say about this episode? Yeah, I lied. I re-watched yesterday, when I wasn't super tired and hadn’t had such a long day, I found TONS to talk about.

And yes, this will be kind of long. 

***As always, spoilers abound for 9x06, so don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Daryl:

Daryl’s tent at the beginning reminded me a lot of the tents we saw in 4x01 and the parking lot at Grady. Just saying.

Of course he was fishing, which I naturally want to relate to Oceanside. But more importantly, we saw him standing in water, and Beth = water.

Then there’s his new poncho. I honestly hadn’t thought too much about it until I saw an edit someone made on IG. They changed his poncho to red and gave it a “Little Red Riding Hood” caption. Now, some of you may remember me doing Little Red Riding Hood posts a long time ago. (X, X) Like, before S6 aired. Mine were based around Red Poncho Guy in 5b. But when I saw that edit, I realized something. We saw a red poncho in Beth’s cell and then Red Poncho Guy in 5b, who Daryl saw briefly and then lost track of. Kinda like Beth. So, what if the red poncho represents Beth’s missing/kidnapped arc? Then maybe Daryl’s green poncho (opposite color) represents that she’s about to return.

I think I've talked about Songbird enough for you to know what I think it means: songbird = Beth and Beth is about to appear.

One thing I didn't talk about it in as much detail as is the walker attached to the tree that Daryl sees. This is a major parallel to the blonde woman he and Aaron saw in 5x15 that was tied to a tree. You’ll notice a pattern as we go along of symbols we saw in S5 and haven’t seen since that are cropping up now in S9. Seems to me like things that happened in S5 are about to come back around.

Michonne:

Michonne finds the van in the woods. The box she digs through is a cigar box, which is a callback to Abraham. But the box itself really reminded us of the music box. The color and size are roughly similar. The things she takes out of it are all highly symbolic.

We see Rick's ring on Michonne’s necklace. (Wedding Ring Theory)

1). The sheriff. I think this could feasibly represent two different things. A) That the new sheriff is about to appear. In other words, it represents Beth. B) Obviously Rick. It definitely represents Rick for Michonne. I think it also foreshadows Rick's return. In a way, she's holding onto this in the same way Daryl holds onto Beth’s knife.

2) The four-leaf clover. (X) Not only is it green, but represents Luck (X), and then there’s all the Irish symbolism, such as Paddy Reilly, etc. Like maybe the person all that symbolism ties to is about to appear.

3) The yo-yo. I totally didn’t catch this when I first watched the episode, but they talked about it on TTD. It must be important if they’re drawing attention to it. The only other time we saw a yo-yo on the show was in S5. They made a big deal about it in the show, but then we never saw it again. The only thing I could think of back then was that, because yo-yos go down and then come back up again, it represented that the person about to go down (Beth) would bounce back up again at some point. Once more, we haven't seen any yo-yos since then. Now, were suddenly seeing one. That's a big deal.

 (I tried and couldn’t get a non-blurry pic of the yo-yo, but it’s red and green.)

Michonne finds toilet paper. See the Toilet Paper theory, plus I talked about this in THIS ASK. I'm not sure what it means but I have a halfhearted forecast for it. I’ve noticed that toilet paper is often seen at the beginning of a long journey. Could that mean a long journey for Michonne? In the comics, Michonne is with Ezekiel rather than Rick. When Ezekiel dies, Michonne leaves TF for a long time. I wonder if they'll keep that arc, but in this case, it's Rick that “died” for Michonne, rather than Ezekiel. If Michonne leaves, that might be what the TP is about. It would also leave leadership of Alexandria wide open.

This is yet another reason why I don't think Ezekiel will die. It could be that Rick's "death" replaced Ezekiel's death, especially where Michonne is concerned. I also noticed that just before this episode, the official TWD account did posts saying, “Who Will Lead?” They had one for each Daryl, Carol, Ezekiel, and Michonne. Asking who will lead is very interesting because it's basically asking who will step into Rick's (or the sheriff's) shoes. 

I found Michonne’s post to be particularly interesting. The caption says, “She’s got what it takes, but what will she choose?” As though she may choose specifically not to lead. I think that will have something to do with her arc this season and I'm interested to see where it goes.

We see that the bridge was never fixed. Again, I need to re-vamp my Bridge Theory, but it’s become clear to me that the bridge represents the community or TF as a whole. Basically, as I said before, it broke when Rick blew up the bridge. It has never been fixed. Which is a symbolic way of saying that the four communities have fractured and have no cohesion anymore. Ezekiel says, "If we could bring the communities back together as full partners…" So, the communities definitely aren’t working together anymore.

Michonne is being very negative in this episode and refuses to give Magna’s group the time of day. I did like the she was sharp as ever and knew Magnet was hiding things, but she's definitely being close minded. Rosita later tells Gabriel that Michonne knows prison doesn't really mean anything and she riled up the crowd on purpose.

We don't really understand the reason for Michonne’s actions until Judith hears her talking to herself.

I breezed over this yesterday, but I think it's important to know what’s she saying when Judith listens in. It's obvious that Michonne is talking to Rick, who she believes is dead. The “him” she mentions is obviously Carl. This is what she says. "Thought I was done with this. Done with talking to you and never hearing you answer. But I watched what you did to protect him…nothing else mattered except him… And I need to be that now for them. And I know it's not what we planned, not what we wanted, but you weren't here. Neither was he. You didn't have to go through the…". At that point, the floorboards creak under Judith and Michonne cuts off.

Okay, a couple of takeaways from this:

1) Michonne is acting as she is because she believes she needs to protect her children at all costs. She’s basically become ruthless Rick in order to protect Judith and RJ. It’s what she believes she needs to do right now, even though it's not the future she and Rick envisioned together.

2) Then there's that last line. Something definitely went down in the six years since Rick left, and from this, it was something that happened after he left because she said he wasn't there for it. I'm willing to bet whatever it is, how she got that X-scar, and also is the reason for what Carol says about people going out and never come back. We just don't know exactly what happened yet.

I wonder if this entire season is going to be full of flashbacks telling us what happened during those six years. I kinda hope so, because essentially what we’ll have to see with Beth. They skipped over whatever happened during those missing 17 days, and they’ll have to go back and show us what it was. So, if the entire season is structured around figuring out something that was skipped, maybe we’ll see other things that have been skipped over as well.

Incidentally, Michonne has done this before: talked to the dead. Remember, she told Rick early on in 3x12, Clear, that she has. “I talk to my dead boyfriend sometimes. It happens.” So I thought it was an interesting continuity of her character to show her doing this with Rick, now. Also a very obvious way to show that she 100% believes he’s dead.

I thought Judith and Michonne’s conversation on the stairs was heartbreaking. It made me sad when Judith said she was starting to forget Rick’s and Carl’s voices. “I’m not trying to, but they keep fading away.” But Judith is a lot like Carl. She’s growing up in this world, so it’s second nature to her. That makes her strong, but also less sentimental and utterly unapologetic about who she is. I’m loving Judith so much!

When we saw the X scar on Michonne, I also noticed a butterfly picture of some kind of butterfly picture on the wall behind her. (Transformation?) 

And the curtains in her room look a LOT like the wallpaper at the funeral home in Alone. They’re black and white, rather than green and yellow, but covered with a very similar bird and vine/tree pattern.

Let's talk about callbacks season four. There's a Council ruling at Alexandria, much as there was in S4 at the prison. Also much like at the prison, there's no clear leader. Remember in S4, the council led because Rick stepped down from leadership. He didn't really become the sheriff again until after disaster struck in the MSF. So, perhaps we won't see the sheriff emerge until then.

It's also interesting to note that Michonne is in pretty much the same place she was in at the start of S4. She's obviously more angry right now, but her horse is almost exactly the same color as the one she rode in 4x01. We even see her ride into Alexandria at the beginning of this episode in a similar fashion. 

So, Michonne isn't really leading. She's going outside the walls a lot and still struggling with things, much as she did in S4. She’s KIND OF leading in name (FG calls her the “head of security”) but hasn’t truly stepped into Rick’s leadership shoes either.

Carol:

Carol sees a flower. My first (and somewhat rebellious) thought was that it's definitely NOT Cherokee Rose (Hehe). But it’s growing up through cracks, which goes with the theme of light coming through the cracks.

Henry calls Ezekiel and Carol Mom and Dad. We also see an entwined-fingers hand hold for Carzekiel. All is right with the world. ;D

They’re holding some kind of fair at the kingdom. Not sure what that's about, but they keep talking about it. Henry leaves with Carol to go to Hilltop and apprentice to Earl (that's the guy that tried to kill Maggie but she ended up letting him out of prison). Henry says he'll be back before the fair starts. Sounds kind of ominous to me.

They also talk about dreamers. Henry is a dreamer. Carol says he gets it from Ezekiel, but it's not a bad thing. And the world could use more dreamers. Beth was most definitely a dreamer. Once again, we’re seeing that Daryl and Carol are very alike, which is why they wouldn't make good romantic partners. They’re too alike. They both need someone more optimistic to complement their tendency toward darkness. I’ll illustrate in a second how much Henry is like Beth.

Ezekiel also makes a point here of saying that Hilltop is distant. Remember in 9x05, Daryl mentioned, just before Rick blew the bridge, that the walker horde had run right through Hilltop? So, I’m thinking Hilltop probably had to be completely rebuilt. I think we can assume it was, because Michonne is taking Magna’s group there. Still, I’m curious to what’s happening at Hilltop these days.

After Jed’s group gets a hold of Carol and Henry, we get a quick look at the vegetables Carol was transporting. They include tomatoes and carrots. I think the tomatoes represent the communities prospering and moving forward. But the carrots? They’ve always been a Beth symbol. Remember, The King of Carrot Flowers from Alone?

Here, we got more information about stuff that's been going on during the six years we don't know about yet. Jed, chewing on a match, says the Sanctuary went bust. Before Rick blew the bridge, they talked about how nothing would grow there, so it’s not surprising it would be defunct now, but still, it’s something else we didn't see.

Jed also said they got hungry and ate horses. Carol says they could have joined the other communities (and several of them did; Laura and some other recognizable saviors are at Alexandria) but obviously Jed and his followers opted for a Negan mentality and don't want to be a part of a community. They’d rather just take people's stuff.

Then Jed said, "You spared me back in the day, so I'll do the same for you." He’s probably referring to when Rick and Carol got the better of them in 9x04, but we still don’t know what happened between Carol and this group in 9x06. The last we saw, shots were fired that brought the walkers toward the bridge and led to Rick blowing it up. I’m wondering if what Carol does to them has to do with her blaming them for Rick’s death. Not sure, though.

Obviously Carol burning the Savior is a callback to S4 with Karen and David as well as to Carol burning Saviors in 6x13.

I’m very curious about what Carol is doing. Even before they were tricked by the saviors, she’d already told Henry they were going somewhere other than Hilltop first. She'd always planned to go visit Daryl, and I wonder why. She must have a reason.

Then we get to Henry and Carol making camp for the night. This is where I became convinced that Henry is something of a Beth proxy. He said, “I don’t get it.” The opposite of Beth’s, “I get it now,” but still. The parallel is there. He also tells Carol, “That’s bullshit.” He’s calling her on her crap, and he’s 100% right because she says she let Jed and the Saviors go, but then goes and kills them while Henry sleeps. Also, Henry and Carol hang cans for an alarm. We saw that prominently with Beth and Daryl in Alone.

I’m kind of thinking we might lose Henry. I hope not, but I just felt an ominousness in his story line this week. There was a lot of emphasis on Carzekiel and him as a family, on keeping him safe. They didn’t like the idea of him going to Hilltop to train with Earl. I really hope I’m wrong, but I’m wondering if we’ll lose Henry, which would put Carol and Ezekiel in a super-dark place again. Let’s hope not.

Rosita, Father Gabriel, & Eugene:

Just for an instant, we see feet running at the beginning of this episode. 

Even though it's just feet that we see (not arms or torsos) it reminded me of the opening credits Beth-flash. In this case, it was Rosita, Aaron, Eugene and Laura looking for Judith.

Eugene carries a deer. This could be an example of the Deer Theory. I'm not sure who it would apply to here, but Luke calls it a buck, so I think it works. Maybe foreshadow of Beth about to appear? Or it may extend into further episodes. Not sure yet.

Magna’s group calls walkers “sickos.” That struck me as hilarious because my 4-year-old nephew is going through a phase where he calls everybody sickos. ;D

They show the passage of time by the length of people's hair. Michonne’s dreads are longer, Daryl's hair has gotten really long in the back, though you can always tell that from the front. 

Obviously, Judith. Eugene is sporting a long braid, Native American-style.

Father Gabriel wants to use a radio to find more people. I noticed a lot of symbolism that we saw in FTWD this past season, and this reminded me of that. This could also be part of the Communications Theme.

Rosita and FG are a couple. I know not everybody is a fan, but I thought they were kinda cute together.

Father Gabriel says, "I think Michonne is wrong. I think they're good people." So, more of Beth's “there still good people” theme. But that's just the beginning. Rosita and FG’s conversation was super interesting.

Talking about the transmitter, Rosita says, "But trying to find people and reach out to them with that thing? It's like stumbling around in the dark." It reminded me of Beth stumbling around in the dark with Noah when they were trying to escape Grady.

FG then answers, "But think what we might find. Who we might find. What else might be out there." So, we have several different references to Beth in the scene. There's the “good people” remark, the “stumbling around in the dark” remark (which may or may not be around about Beth; I may be reaching).

Plus, we had the broken picture in the background. 

Remember this window was broken when FG and Sasha fought over the gun in 5x16. So, yet another S5 reference (we seriously haven’t seen that picture since) plus we’re pretty sure the picture represents Beth. It has white cypress trees and it was shot with a bullet. My point is that we have a lot of Beth references in this scene, and FG says with emphasis, “Just think WHO we might find.” I think that’s super-significant.

So I’m feeling like this relay Eugene and Rosita set up may be how the group comes back into contact with Beth again.

Eugene is trying to get up his courage to tell Rosita how he feels about her. I thought it was interesting that she seemed to want him to tell her as well.

I felt like there was a lot of symbolism in what they said about the walker tracks. They notice hundreds of walker tracks heading East. Eugene is comforted by the fact that he and Rosita need to head west to get to the water towers, where they set up the relay. Then the walker herd ends up coming toward them anyway. Eugene says it must have done a U-turn. I'm assuming that's probably be because the Whisperers are doing something to push the walkers back that way. Still, we have the east-west symbolism.

The more I watch it, the more I think this sequence with Rosita and Eugene is super-significant and a major foreshadowing, which is not necessarily a good thing. First, they’re near graveyard. I had to look two or three times very carefully, but the water towers are directly next to a graveyard. 

So, we have the Communication theme (because of the relay) a water symbol (the towers) and a graveyard that looks a lot like the graveyard in Alone.

We also saw a ladder fall and Eugene hurting his knee. 

We saw a ladder fall around Maggie in S6, and I don’t think we ever nailed down exactly what the ladder symbolizes in TWD. But at the least, it means they're in danger. Maggie almost died when the ladder fell in S6 and Eugene almost died here because the ladder fell.

Okay guys, I’m gonna put an unpopular opinion forth here. I think we saw a lot of foreshadows in this episode that Eugene is going to die. I love Eugene these days, especially his long hair and seeing him as a bad ass, so I don't want him to die, but I'm worried he might. I mean, there's the graveyard, there's him falling and hurting his leg, the ladder, him offering to sacrifice himself for Rosita and trying to admit his undying love for her first. It all felt really ominous to me.

Then there's the fact that they used Rosita and Eugene to introduce the Whisperers. I feel like whoever they used, it was always going to be significant. The could’ve Daryl and Carol to introduce them, Magna’s group, or any character on the show, but they used Rosita and Eugene. So I’m wondering if, rather than Rosita and Ezekiel losing their heads to the Whisperers, it might be Rosita and Eugene. Again, I hope I’m wrong and, you know, nobody else dies EVER on the show, but I feel like that's what they might be telling us. Guess we’ll find out soon whether I’m right or not.

One more thing about this scene with Rosita and Eugene that made my jaw drop, though I’m actually not 100% on it. I noticed at one point, they focused on a shot of Rosita and Eugene’s feet as they ran. And I thought I saw something on the ground. So, I looked more closely. I’m not sure what this is, but there seems to be something metallic on the ground where they’re walking. I even think there might be two things, one on each side, and Rosita and Eugene walk between them. Is it possible that…this is a bear trap? If so, that’s HUGE! It’s a major symbol of Beth that TD has known about for a long time. But again, I’m not positive that’s what it is. Any insights?

Magna’s Group:

We always love music references, and Luke is a music teacher. What really jumped out at me, though, was when they asked him, “Who are you now?” he answers, “I’m still a music teacher.” You know, like “I still sing.”

And we can link the title to Beth as well. Remember when she talked o Daryl in Still, she said, “You gotta stay who you are, not who you were.” So the question, “Who are you, now?” goes along with that theme.

I thought Magna’s prison tattoo was interesting. Michonne said the four dots represented the four walls and in the middle one represented the prisoner inside. It made me think of Four Walls and a Roof (5x03). There's been plenty of conjecture about what the title meant. Maybe the whole time, the idea was that it represented a prison. (Also another callback to S5).

Which brings me to my next point. While arguing against letting Magna’s group stay, Michonne says, "I remember." 1) It has to do with what happened during the six-year time jump that they haven't told us yet. Michonne seems to be referencing a point when they let someone in and it went wrong. Probably the same thing she’s talking to Rick about later. 2) It hearkens back to the title in 5B. 5x12 was called Remember, so yet another reference to S5. 3) Beth said the exact same thing to Daryl in Still. "I remember."

Siddiq says the injured woman in Magna’s group (Miko) has a concussion and is dehydrated, but should be back on her feet soon. That made me think of Beth at Grady because she was also told she had a concussion, which she probably didn't. Can you see the parallels? Miko is part of a group, has a head injury, and wakes up in a new community.

Not sure what my opinion of Magna is yet. So far, she seems like a little bit of a loose cannon. She was about to break into Michonne’s house with the knife necklace. What did she plan to do? It was only when she saw Michonne’s son that she stopped, changed her mind, and went to knock at the front door. Hmm.  

I also caught another theme at this part. When her and Michonne are talking, she says she’s done terrible things. Michonne answers that they all have. It’s the only reason they’re still here. Then Michonne says, “They aren’t always easy to live with.” To which Magna replies, “But it’s better than losing everything.”

I think that will be a theme this season. They have to learn to live with the things they’ve done. It may not be easy, but if they don’t, they could lose everything.

Reasons I think still Rick will be back:

1) In the opening montage, Michonne says, "I'm still here too." The “I'm still here” is a theme we've heard a lot in the show. When someone says it, it means they've survived and are still fighting. Michonne says, "I know you're still here. I'm still here too." She doesn't necessarily mean she thinks is alive, but I feel like it's symbolism that Rick will be back.

2) There's also the 7x12 symbolism. Remember Michonne thought Rick was dead and was utterly devastated, but he came back out through the yellow door (yellow equals escape) and they had a reunion. It's really only a matter time before he shows up again.

Judith and Negan

She reads him her math problem, and we get some more A/B symbolism. She says, “Airplane A and Airplane B are 1000 miles apart. If airplane A is flying east at 500 mph, and Airplane B is flying west at 650 mph…” She doesn't finish the question because Negan cuts her off. If the writers wanted us to hear the question, we would have. The only reason to hear the rest of the problem was to get that A/B and east-west symbolism in. Negan says she should book a seat on Airplane C because it sounds like one hell of a collision.

So, the idea is that these two planes are on a collision course. We have A, which we think represents leadership, and B, which is more like a follower. But we've also thought B might represent Beth and C represents TF and/or where they’re living. So, together with Daryl saying a storm is coming, it seems like a lot of things are about to collide here. Just not sure what form that will take yet.

Negan tells Judith his twisted little story about how he used to bring home stray dogs. Okay, so first of all, DOGS! (Sirius/Dog Star Symbolism). He uses his story to illustrate that even if the people seem to be good, it only takes one to kill everybody. That could most definitely foreshadow something.

Finally, the timeline was really jacked up. We saw three days in the Michonne/Alexandria story line. The first day where Magna’s group is brought to Alexandria, the second day where the trial is held, and then the third day where Michonne offers to take them to Hilltop and they set off.

Carol/Henry only went through two days. We saw them in the morning of the first day when they left the Kingdom and ran into the Saviors, at night, and then the next day where they meet Daryl.

For Rosita and Eugene, we saw only one day, and it wasn’t over yet at the end of the episode. No idea if that will be important moving forward, but I’ll keep an eye on it.

Okay, I’ll shut up now. Lots of setups in this episode for the coming arc. But definitely lots more interesting symbols than I thought there would be. Thoughts?