#yeah fuck it that's your one-sided tag you apples

[onesidedradiostatic]

The Lucifer Commissions Saga has me thinking that once Vox found out about Lucifer's Alastor shrine he would be like "???? He has a signed recording of Alastor's radio debut?!? Oh my god I need that" and then he spends weeks searching for one until he finally gets it for like a million dollars (from the Alastor budget). And then Lucifer sees that it's been added to Vox's shrine and he's like "that loser did not just copy me" and he proceeds to try and upgrade his shrine as much as possible just to upset Vox, and it basically turns into a dick measuring contest for them (Alastor is horrified)

(if you don't have the context. god help you. all I can give you is this (the budget), this (the shrine og), this (the shrine animatic))

I'm. I'm going to cry. I have so many questions

I'd actually argue it's more likely for vox to have gotten HIS signed around him and alastor's first meeting, lucifer hadn't even heard of alastor when he met him he's a FAKE FAN. (HOW WOULD HE HAVE EVEN GOTTEN HIS HANDS ON A RECORDING OF ALASTOR'S RADIO DEBUT? I WOULD UNDERSTAND STALKER-VOX WHO HAS KNOWN ALASTOR FOR YEARS HAVING IT BUT LUCIFER-WHO-IS-THIS-WHO-IS-THIS-NUT-ARE-YOU-THE-BELLHOP-MORNINGSTAR?????? HOW?????????)

yeah. yeah alastor is horrified (and op is losing her mind trying to apply logic to this)

[idkfitememate]

A Boar? In This Economy? Pt. 1

♡︎ « Next Part ⋙

૮꒰˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶꒱ა Pairings : GN!Boar Reader x Genshin World

૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა W.K. : 922

໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ Tags/CW&TW : Crack, fluff, found family

So, SAGAU right? Imposter ver specifically, right? Alllll of Teyvat has been ruled by some asshole who claims to be the creator, right?

Welp.

It’s time for you to get your ass isekai’d!

One problem though….

Instead of getting your phone, or having all the elements under your belt, or anything else…

You’re a boar.

Not like a “BiG tUsK sPeCiAl PaTtErN” boar.

Just a boar you can find in the starting areas of Mondstadt that just so happens to have golden blood.

Fun.

Hell, when you first woke up, you were confused on why you were short. And why you were in fours. And hairy. And why your mouth felt so damn heavy. And dragging yourself to a small pound, you figured out why.

Shaggy brown hair and small beady black eyes staring back at you. Large, off white tusks block your forward vision so you move to the side in order to see yourself better. Designs in a darker brown line your fur, a small tail flailing in the wind.

And that is how you spent your first few months in Genshin Impact.

A simple boar trying their damnest to not die.

૮꒰づ˶• ༝ •˶꒱づ ˚ʚ ꒰⁐⁐⁐⁐୨🍡🍪🍬୧⁐⁐⁐⁐꒱ ɞ˚

Apparently spending time by yourself makes the human mind bored (pun intended).

So.

You decided to build a boar friendly base in the trees.

You noted that all mobs weren’t hostile to you, most likely due to your god status. That and Teyvat was willing to literally bend itself backwards in order to ensure your survival. Making sure only the freshest of fruits fell to your feet, ensuring that the waters were calm when you wanted to swim, and that the winds would gently blow you off, making your fur all fluffy, so on and so forth.

It was especially nice when a hunter had their sights set on you, only for a pack of hilichurl to appear and slaughter the man, the ground swallowing him up.

Now, the first few times it was fucking horrifying, but then you kinda realized you they didn’t do that, you’d be super dead right now, so you pushed an apple over in thanks and took all the headpats you could get from the group.

Anyway, back to the main topic.

You got bored (pun intended again) of living on the ground where anyone could find you and kill you, and that was no fun! So you found a nice mountain side (since you didn’t have a map, you couldn’t say right off the top of your head where you were but you knew full well it was by Dragonspine. Gods you were so cold… but I’d be worth it!-) with a nice forest next to it, and began building.

With the help of nearby mita and lawachurls and - of course - Teyvat itself, you carved into the side of the mountain, creating a cave system that only a being as short as you could traverse. Then, you connected them to a large treehouse system and continued to work on said treehouse system. Someone would have to be focusing damn hard and not fighting the actual army of churls and slimes and other beasts that made their way to stay beneath your home to actually see… well your home.

And up you went.

૮꒰づ˶• ༝ •˶꒱づ ˚ʚ ꒰⁐⁐⁐⁐୨🎂🍰🍩୧⁐⁐⁐⁐꒱ ɞ˚

More months had passed, and confirmed many things for you.

A. The true “Imposter” had came here long before you.

B. They very weren’t a boar.

C. You did have a human form, but your “Creator” form had a boar as a symbolic animal.

Which, while initially was a little insulting, you came to (reluctantly) agree that, yeah. That was unfortunately pretty accurate.

You could be a bit sloppy at times, keeping a good appearance wasn’t at the absolute top of your list, as well as eating well… or drinking, but still!

You continued your now lavish boar life in the trees and caves, no longer bored (I’m not sorry for reusing this pun.).

૮꒰づ˶• ༝ •˶꒱づ ˚ʚ ꒰⁐⁐⁐⁐୨🍫🍦🍭୧⁐⁐⁐⁐꒱ ɞ˚

You had been in Teyvat for… a year now? No one suspected a boar of being the true creator, everyone was still being treated like shit by the “creator” and you were still tucked away in your little forest/cave structure home.

You got a little curious, and well?

You found that you could - in fact - do something cool!

You could control the elements! Outside of Teyvat just doing things that were in your best interests. You could grow vines! And spit fire! And burp lightning and squeal hard and loud enough that it created a whirlwind!

You could part the seas like Moses!

…

Anyway-

You may have gotten a bit carried away, feeling secure in where you were. So you let the churls braid some parts of your fur, and paint it… and they gave you a mask.

And you’d chase seelies. And rest with slimes.

And just do a lot of shit that most boars definitely couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t do.

And unfortunately, one night when you were doing a fire dance with one of your favorite hilichurl camps. (They were the ones to kill that first hunter. They also gave you your first mask and paint job).

Completely enveloped in the current happenstance, while you breathed large balls of fire into the night that somehow didn’t injure a single being nor set a single tree alight…

You missed the boy who believed he was a wolf watching from the shadows.

…Oops?

໒꒰ྀི˶˙Ⱉ˙˶꒱ྀིა Author’s note : I’m shocked people actually like this thingy lol. Part 2 is on the way! As a treat, I fixed up some typos and fixed some grammar mistakes!

Have a good day/night dears! <3 ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

P. S. Now I made a tag as well!

[bouncybongfairy]

Rickety-Rickety Wrecked

Rick Sanchez x Fem Reader Smut

Summary: After recently getting a job, the illusion that high school status quotes and popularity truly mean nothing. You've been re-evaluating things that once made you bubble with excitement like sneaking out and partying. That being said, your younger sister informs you that she's going to Summer Smith's house party. Starting to feel like a senior citizen, you tag along and encounter Rick Sanchez.

Word Count 3.0k+

(!This is a smut fanfic, you’ve been warned!)

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

As you walked out the doors of the nursing home you worked at. Your hand was lazily searching for the keys that were undoubtedly buried at the bottom of your bag. After opening the car door, you let your body fall into the driver’s seat. It wasn’t just being physically but mentally drained as well. Tossing your purse into the passenger side and start the car. It was Friday and you were excited to finally have an entire weekend off. You couldn’t remember the last time you had any time to yourself. Pulling into the driveway, you weren’t surprised to see that your mom’s car wasn’t home. She works nights but will take every double shift she can get her hands on. You dropped the purse on your bed and immediately went over to shower. Even though you’re a Med-Tech you still will help residents with toileting among other things. While waiting for the water to get hot, you let your dirty scrubs drop onto the floor.​​ The water was scorchingly perfect, you could feel your muscles loosening. Using your nails, you scrub your scalp almost moaning from how nice it felt. The smell of the ‘honey crisp apple’ scented candle was only adding to the relaxation. Unfortunately that all came to a halt when your younger sister barrelled into the bathroom and turned on the harsh fluorescent lights.

“Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!” you exclaimed. 

“Well sorry, you’re the one hogging the bathroom,” your sister remarked. 

“If you were patient and knocked I would have told you that I’m about to be done,” you said. 

“No time, Morty invited me to a party that Summer is throwing,” she said which made you throw the current open. 

“You’re going to Summer Smith’s party?” you questioned. 

“Yeah, I thought you were going to. Morty mentioned that Summer asked you. And plus I kinda already told my friend that you would give us a ride..” she said. 

“Girl what the fuck, why would I go to a party after working every day after school all week. Yeah she invited me but I wasn’t planning on going,” you huffed.

“Well, can you still take me?” she asked.

After you got out of the shower you thought about the fact that even your younger sister was going to be at this party. Even though you were still tired from school and the work week, you felt like staying home would just make you feel… pathetic. As soon as you got out of the shower you started getting ready. You haven’t done your makeup in so long that you almost forgot how to apply your lashes. You straightened your hair and threw on a jean mini skirt and a black long sleeve. It was weird looking in the mirror once you were all done up. You liked it though, it made you miss when you didn’t have to worry about work. When you went downstairs to see if your little sister was ready to go, she was equally as shocked at your appearance. After her friend arrived you guys took off to the Smith house. The entire house was completely lit up with lights, teens that were smoking on the roof, and of course, unknown species of life that were slithering and flying around. Your sister pestered you for 20 bucks then ditched you. You entered the house and immediately got greeted by the smell of weed and tobacco. It didn’t bother you too much though, you walked into the living room and immediately saw your old group of friends. They all screamed and ran over to give you a hug. You could tell they were all a little intoxicated. 

“What are you doing here, we had no idea you were coming!” Maya said. 

“Yeah I had the weekend off so I thought I’d come out,” you said. 

“Ever since you started working, I feel like I haven’t seen you in like forever,” Anna said. 

“Yeah I know, but it’s nice being able to save money. Especially because I could take some of that responsibility off my mom,” you said. 

“Don’t you miss going out though? You were literally about to get asked out by Brad. I mean like, you practically lost your status when it comes to school,” Maya said in a condescending way.

“If my status was based purely on me going to parties and hanging out with girls who are pretending to be drunk then I don’t think I want it. Too obtainable for someone like me, sounds perfect for you though,” you said, giving her a warm smile as you watched her smirk fade from her face. 

Now you remember why you stopped going to house parties like this. As you walked around you couldn’t help but notice all the sophomoric conversations going on. Things like bragging about having a roach from their dad’s ashtray. Or boasting about getting to second base with their girl. Honestly, it made you feel a lot older than you are. Making your way into the kitchen, you saw Summer standing there with Trisha. They both greeted you and complemented how you looked, which really lifted your confidence.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, stranger,” Summer said, giving you a red solo cup filled with an unknown liquid. 

“Girl you know I started working,” you said, smelling the cup and trying to identify what type of liquor it is. 

“Same, honestly ever since I started working at my mom’s shop, I feel like my childhood is officially over,” Trisha laughed. 

“God I’m glad I’m not the only one,” you joked back. 

“We were about to go up into my room and smoke, you wanna join?” Summer asked which you immediately agreed to. 

Her room was really nice, with pink coral walls and a bunch of different posters that covered them. Trisha and you sat down on her bed and Summer walked over and grabbed a bong from under her desk. She grabbed her desk chair so that she could sit in front of you guys. Trisha surprised you and pulled a blunt out from behind her ear. They thought this was your first time smoking but it wasn’t. When you work in a nursing home, sometimes the only thing keeping you sane is your wind-down time at the end of the day. After puffing on those for a bit, Summer pulled out a tray that had a couple of purple almost violet crystals. Without saying a word to each other, the two girls crush up one and then snort it. It took you back at first, the brazenness of how casually they were doing lines was a little jarring, to say the least. When you asked what it was they explained what kalaxian crystals were and what the high was like. Even though it was embarrassing, the factor that sold you was when Summer said they couldn’t be picked up on a drug test. Trisha was holding up the tray and Summer was walking you through what to do. 

“So like, when people do lines for the first time, most don’t fully sniff because they are obviously like, intimidated by it. But if you take a small bump then it’ll just burn and you won’t get the full high. So just go full throttle,” she said handing you the straw, the fact that the whites of her eyes were now blue made you nervous. 

However, the mix of alcohol and weed in your system was making you ballsy. You close your eyes and take the full line, dropping the straw on the tray and bringing your hands to your nose. As if that would’ve helped the burning sensation. Both girls were giggling as they watched you react, asking every now and then if you were okay. Your entire sinus cavity was not only burning but giving off an unpleasant taste in the back of your throat. The effects were immediate and you felt like you were defying gravity. Like if you really tried you could start floating away. You looked over at the two other girls who were dancing to the stereo Summer had in her room. Without them even noticing, you walked out of her room and made your way downstairs. You felt like everything was moving in slow motion and you were taking in every detail of everything you laid eyes on. The music was so loud that it felt like a heart beating in your ears. Panic and sensory overload were taking over and you could feel your heart began to quicken. After accidentally bumping into a girl, she turns around and tries to snake her arm around your waist. Obviously having a stranger try to grind on you in the midst of a panic attack was the last thing that helped. You broke away and made a B-line to the nearest door. You yanked it open and slammed it shut behind you. You were using your hand to cover your mouth in a sad attempt to stop your hyperventilation. 

“Medical emergency detected, blood pressure 148/96 and rising; Medical intervention advised,” a monotone woman’s voice spoke throughout the room. 

“Oh my fucking god, I’m fucking hallucinating… I’m overdosing I-I’m about to fucking die,” you have cried have muttered to yourself and you covered your ears. 

“You -buhrup- you’re not dying yet, what did you take?” a male’s voice asked. When you looked up, a blue-haired man was standing over you. Wearing brown slacks and black shoes. 

“You deaf? What -buhrup- did you take?” he asked again, taking your jaw into his hands and making you look up at him. Your eyes were still blue from the crystals and your jaw was now chattering. You were still crying and breathing heavily. 

“I told Summer to stop letting people take bumps of kalaxian. I have something, hold on.

“No- I don’t, I just needed a-a few minutes to catch my breath,” you explained, wiping your eyes and standing up, still leaning against the garage door for support. 

“Whatever, you’re lucky I’m trying this whole nice thing,” he said, going back to working on whatever it was sitting on his workbench.

“Sorry,” you said, walking over to his bench and asking if you could sit on the bench. He ignored you but also didn’t protest when you hopped on. Setting your purse down, grab your dab pen and take a puff. 

“You sure about smoking that?” he asked. 

“Weed is a vasodilator so it probably wouldn’t be the best thing for me right now but it can’t be the worst either,” you said taking another hit. 

“Did WebMD teach you that?” he asked.

“No, I learned that from my CNA teacher,” you said. 

“HAHA, do you enjoy wiping shit off of saggy balls?” Rick said followed by a fit of laughter. 

“Yeah, kinda hot,” you said, taking a drag. He looked at you with his eyebrow cocked which made you burst out into laughter, “you should have seen his face!” You said you are unable to compose yourself. He squinted his eyes, tilted his head down slightly, and scowled at you. 

Maybe it was the drugs but the look he gave you made your stomach feel like it was boiling. He again went back to tinkering with his invention. His side profile was strong, his lips were in a frown and he had liquor dripping down his chin. His hands were huge, making a screwdriver look like a pencil. His posture was horrible, practically hunching over the workbench. The blue long-sleeve he wore was slightly tucked into the top of his pants. You were watching his lower stomach rise and lower as he breathed at a very steady rate. He had dark under-eye bags that only added to an angst vibe that radiated off him. You wanted to make a move to indicate that you thought he was attractive but felt insecure. Taking a deep drag from your pen to give you a bit of courage, you kick off your heels.

The sound of them clattering to the floor made Rick look over, he didn’t move but instead shifted his eye to the side to watch you. When he didn’t give you the attention you were craving, you uncrossed your legs and let them hang in front of you. Rick set down what he was working on and turned to face you. Pressing his back into the workbench and just watching you. Biting onto the tip of the pen you take another big drag and blow it between your legs. In turn, he took a swig from his flask, almost like that was his move in this little game you were playing with each other. You set your pen down and pull your skirt up so that the jean material of your skirt was no longer touching the tabletop. Revealing the hip bands on your baby blue thong, he chuckled and walked over to you. He stood about a foot away from you and even though there was still distance between the two, it felt closer. You were intimidated by him and you couldn’t tell if it was turning you on more or not. Extending your leg out, you use your foot and untuck the front of his shirt from his pants. Exposing his happy trail that to your surprise was also blue. 

“So the carpet does match the drapes,” you giggle, which quickly turns into a gasp as Rick grabs your ankle and holds it up slightly. He was squeezing it so tightly but this only ignited a need that you didn’t know existed. 

“Should have asked if you were so curious,” he said, pulling your leg so that your ass was almost falling off the edge of the table.

He loosened his grip on your ankle and ran his calloused hand up your leg. Once he was close enough, he snaked his hand around your waist. The feeling of his hand touching your lower back made your back arch involuntarily. His crotch was pressed lightly against yours. You were so nervous that your teeth were chattering. His hands were now running up and down your lower back, almost like he was getting off from watching how sensitive you were to his touch. When you looked up, he was already looking down at you. This was something that was new to you and you weren’t quite sure what to do with your hands. Trying not to think too hard about it, you dip your fingers into the waistband of his pants and boxers. You pressed your nose against him, letting your bottom lip rub against his gently. You start pulling on the end of his shirt, prompting him to take it off. He shook his head in disagreement, so you pull away slightly and take your top off. He laughed and then took his shirt off as well. As if he had a look in his eye that said I’ll show mine if you show yours’. The fact that neither of you had to speak to communicate made you want to throw yourself at him. There were scars littered across his body, you traced one that was on his chest. Moving your fingertips to his arms, still admiring his old battle wounds. He was still watching you even though you weren’t making eye contact with him. 

When you finally broke away and looked up at him and couldn’t help but admire him. His frown lines, how dark his eyes were, and how his hair was sticking out in all directions. You smashed your mouth against him, unable to bear waiting any longer. He was such a good kisser, not messy and sloppy like the ones you’ve had before. He was aggressive but not overbearing, you wrapped your legs around his waist. Running your hands through his hair and around his neck. He moved his hands to his hips and began grinding against you. Your lips were starting to feel raw from how long he’d been biting and kissing. Moving your hands down to his pelvis you try unbuckling his belt. When he pulled away from you, a trail of saliva connected by the both of your bottom lips followed. He pulled down the front of his pants, exposing his dick. You pulled your panties to the side and he didn’t waste any time reaching down to feel how wet you were. He let out a hoarse moan, and let his forehead fall onto your shoulder. At this point you were aching with anticipation. Unwilling to take his teasing anymore, you reach down and line up his tip with your entrance. He takes the hint and moves his hands back to your hips for support. Slowly he started pressing into you, his mouth was slightly hung open. There was a slight stinging from how big he was but because he was starting slow, that feeling soon faded. He took a step forward once he was fully pressed into you. 

He kept himself buried inside of you for a while while kissing your neck. Sucking hickies and leaving bite marks all the way down to your shoulder. He slowly started rocking himself back and forth. You attach yourself to his neck, wrapping your arms around his neck and moan as he slides in and out. You were trying to buck your hip up in order to meet him halfway with his thrusts. Watching his facial expressions as he pounded into you was making you feel euphoric. Everytime you tightened around his shaft you could see his face scrunch in pleasure. At this point he was pounding viciously into you, your walls were becoming sensitive. You were sure that he was getting close because he was getting more aggressive. His thrusts were getting more sporadic, he reached up and grabbed a fist full of your hair. Forcing your head back, exposing your neck allowing him to continue marking you up.

You were whimpering every time his length pressed completely inside you. His face was red from how much he was exerting himself. Your arms were wrapped around his neck so he grabbed you from underneath your knees and pressed you against the wall. The change in position was enough to send you over the edge, going limp slightly as your pussy spasmed around his cock while you came. He let his entire body weight press against you as he came inside you. As you were cumming, you could feel his throbbing member spurting inside of you. When he pulled out he took his shaft into his hand and rubbed his tip up and down your folds. Enjoying the feelings of your warmth and swollen core. He set you back down on the top of his work station. You were still cross faded and don’t think you could walk even if you wanted to. Barely being able to keep your eyes open you use your arm as a pillow to ‘rest your eyes’ for a few moments.

Rick zipped his pants up and went to leave the garage, knowing you’d probably leave once you woke up. Maybe it was the recent encounter with Unity that made him feel like a douche. As if having careless sex with you was only proving her point that you were a bad guy. He took a deep breath and stood in front of the door for a while before turning around. Grabbing your purse, he took your wallet and looked for the address on your ID. After punching it into his portal gun and creating the green entryway to your house. He picked you up bridal style and carried you through the portal. He used his foot to move the covers over and set you down on your bed. Leaving your purse and shoes on the floor next to you before leaving.

[astonmartinii]

daniel x gradschool reader?? maybe they’re not officially dating but he meets her when he’s in new york and they spend the summer together??

big apple lovin' | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x gradschool!reader

sparks fly when daniel visits new york on his winter break

yourusername

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yourusername: studying up a storm in the city of my dreams

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danielricciardo

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danielricciardo: big city exploring

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newyorkstreetstyle

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newyorkstreetstyle: our usual warren street fashion icon has been double trouble recently, obsessed with both.

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username DANIEL CONTENT

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yourusername

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yourusername: found this stray cat in central park, anyone recognise them?

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yourbff1 idk who he is but he looks freakishly similar to the guy who hasn't left our apartment in a week

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danielricciardo

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danielricciardo: wet dream concrete tomato or something like that

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yourusername

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yourusername: final stretch of grad school with some extra motivation

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yourbff1 believe me everyone in the apartment can hear the motivation

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yourusername as he should be

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nyu

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nyu: nyu graduate y/n y/ln has had her graduate study published in the journal of english literature and cultural studies!

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username so how did danny's dumbass pull a published researcher?

yourbff1 ENGLISH LIT SLAY

yourusername thank you nyu will miss you guys :(

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yourusername

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yourusername: grad school ... completed it mate ;)

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danielricciardo

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danielricciardo: finally showed the mrs my day job

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username FULL LAUNCH AT A RACE OH LORD

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note: pls enjoyyyyyyy (p.s. there's a lando request i finished but tumblr deleted it from my drafts so i'll get that up asap) xx

[sanaexus]

social's as yukimiya's girlfriend

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yourusername: i can't see i'm bliind BLIIIIND BLIIIIND (pun intended)

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oliver.aiku: THE CAPTION HELP FOUL ASF 😭😭 ↳yourusername: BITCH YOU NOW I'M SEXY ↳megubachi: UH DON'T CALL JUST TEXT ME ↳chigi.who: BITCHES SLOW CAN GET ON MY SPEED ↳kuniisuke: THEY STARE AT ME CAUSE THEY KNOW I'M THE ↳rin.itoshi: I-T-G-I-R-L ↳karasu_tabito: ok what the fuck is up with this edgelord ain't no fucking way he typed that ↳yourusername: you're right he didn't i did he went to let out expired water from his wonka ↳reo.miikage: what 💀 ↳hiyori: piss she meant piss

↳yourusername: SAME THING ↳nikkoki: are we going to ignore the original comment? ↳nikkoki: ok yeah ignore me too

yukimiya.kenyu: okay now who the fuck edited that 2nd image better sleep with one eye open ↳oliver.aiku: it won't matter if you sleep with both of your eyes open because you're blind anyways ↳yourusername: HEY DONR BULLY MY BF 🤬🤬🗣🗣🐺🐺ONLY I CAN BULLY MY POOKIE WOOKIE DOOKIE CUTE PATOOTIE APPLE HONEY SUGAR MELON PLUM PIE 10PC CHICKEN MCNUGGETS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: sigh why do i like you ↳yourusername: YOU DONR LOVE ME 🙁🙁☹☹ ↳megubachi: YOU MADE HER SAD NOW WOWOWOW ↳yukimiya.kenyu: no i'm sorry i'll let you paint my nails ↳yourusername: YIPPEE TY BACHIRA ILY 😘😘 ↳megubachi: ILYT POOKS 😘😘

isaichii: hear me out MAYBE just MAyBE giving me picture credits for the first one would be nice. a fucking dog nearly pissed on my show bc of y'all ↳yourusername: AND?? I NEARLY DIED BC THAT HOE IS A BLIND BITCH AND WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BRo?? DONR BLAME IT ALL ON ME ↳yourusername: I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE YOUR NAME WHY ARE YOU THINKING IM TALKING AB U ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BC OF THE FACT YOU CALLED ME A HOE AND A BLIND BITCH AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS AND WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE PICTURE UNLESS YOU HAVE A SIDECHICK ↳itoshi_sae: so you admit you're a hoe who's a blind bitch? 💀 ↳yukimya.kenyu: what

user1: jokes aside they're so cute (i fucking hate couples) ↳yourusername: ty pooks (ikr same couples are so cringe imagine not being single) ↳yukimiya.kenyu: w h a t . ↳yukimiya.kenyu: WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE A YEAR?? ↳yourusername: what idk who u are :x ↳nagi.seishiro: srop txting like me :x ↳yourusername: fuck off

-liked by reo.miikage, julian.loki and 122.8k others

yukimiya.kenyu: my fav side chick xoxo

tagged: yourusername

megubachi: NO WAY BRO REALLY SAID THAT ↳yourusername: mom told me honesty is the best policy 🤷‍♀️ (also you're right he didn't it write the caption i did i stole his phone) ↳chigi.who: yes girl gaslight gatekeep girlboss ↳yukimiya.kenyu: AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS ENCOURAGING HER?? ↳yourusername: bc has balls = no opinion /j ↳yukimiya.kenyu: i see how it is ↳shiidoryu: BALLS MENTIONED RAHHHH 🤬🤬🐺🐺🗣🗣‼‼💯💯😎😎🔫🔫💣💣🔥🔥🔛🔝 ↳hiyori: who let this creature out

user2: my roman empire is how their faces fit together ↳julian.loki: that looks so fucking weird when you write it but ok ↳yourusername: SROP BEING A HATER JS BC U DON'T PULL ↳julian.loki: I DO PULL TFYM 🤬🤬🐺🐺I'M THE ALPHAEST ALPHA ↳yoursername: NO YOU DON'T YOU'RE ALMOST ALWAYS SURROUNED BY SHIRTLESS SWEATY BALL LOVING MEN WHO HAVE "MONSTERS" IN THEM ↳hiyori: soccer players just say soccer players please ↳mikka.kaiser: FOOTBaLL PLAYERS* ↳yukimiya.kenyu: ignoring these dried pieces of celery tysm me n her are meant to be ↳yoursername: OMGOMGOMG THE KUYIMIYA YENYU WANTS ME 😍😍🙀🙀 ↳shoei.barou: kukyimiya yenyu 💀 ↳yourusername: SHUR UP 🙁🙁

yukimiya.kenyu: i'll ignore the caption AND YOU STEALING MY PHONE for now but aside from that have i told you look very pretty ↳yourusername: but you can't even see? 🧍‍♀️ ↳shiidoryu: Y/N TAKE THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT WHEN SUCH A GORGEOUS MAN COMPLIMENTS YOU, YOU ACCEPT IT ↳shiidoryu: also real you can't even see ↳yukimiy.kenyu: i will actually feed you both toilet water ↳yourusername: you're gonna feed me? 🥺 ↳shiidoryu: you're gonna feed us? 🥺 ↳yourusername: FUCK OFF HE'S MY BF?? ↳shiidoryu: tell sae to unblock me and i'll leave him alone ↳itoshi_sae: don't even think about dming me ab this

-liked by nikkoki, alexis.ness and 134.2k others

yourusername: right now, right now baby, i don't care about the other summer (kenyu is the rat, rat is kenyu)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

yukimiya.kenyu: first of all i am not your crush i'm your bf?? second of all I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A RAT ↳kuniisuke: seems like something a rat face would say ↳megubachi: no bc y/n said it so it's canon ↳yourusername: still my real one fr ↳megubachi: twins ↳isaichii: bsdhira hiw ciulf yoi do tijs to me ↳rin.itoshi: some please translate that AGAIN ↳yourusername: "bachira how could you do this to me" ↳megubachi: sorry shnookums ↳isaichii: sorry guys kaiser got out of his cage (again) and started chasing me like a duck (again) ↳mikka.kaiser: you still haven't come to papa ↳reo.miikage: again what the fuck?

user2: the moment my f1 addicted brain saw the second picture it instantly said "i have never looked so good" ↳hiyori: LECLERC 🔛🔝 ↳yoursername: NAHH VERSTAPPEN ALL THE WAY🔛🔝 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: said it before and i'll say it again HAMILTON DOMINATION 🔛🔝 ↳julian.loki: hear me the fuck out. logan sargeant 🔥🔥🐺🐺 ↳shiidoryu: RAHHHH WHATS A KILOMETER 🔫🔫💣💣💯💯‼‼😎😎🐺🐺🔛🔝 ↳rin.itoshi: please seek help

mikka.kaiser: NEW JEANS MENTIONED RAHHHHHHH ↳mikka.kaiser: and we can go high 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm-mm ↳alexis.ness: take him to the sky you know, i hype you, boy ↳mikka.kaiser: i raised you well, good boy ↳itoshi_sae: please be kinky, disgusting and possibly gay somewhere else ↳mikka.kaiser: we're not gay ↳alexis.ness: we're not?

yukimiya.kenyu: i see a drop dead gorgeous person right there ↳yourusername: awww ily 🥺🥺 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: oh look you're there too ↳oliver.aiku: LMFAO

nikkoki: jokes aside the first picture is so cute ↳yourusername: thank you 👉👈😝

aryu.jubei: did he try yanking your hair (send hair care routine pls) ↳yourusername: no he didn't SUPRISNGLY (ofc pooks) ↳kuniisuke: dammit ↳yourusername: WHY DO YOU WANT ME HURT SO BAD 🙁🙁 ↳rin.itoshi: surpisngly* ↳shiidoryu: YOU GOT IR WRONG TOO LMFAO

HI CHAT!!111!11 I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS LIKE A CENTURY AGO BUT ITS FINE (i had school and i came home at like 5 and i had volleyball and track practice and i had to study bc i have exams every week pls save me also i had parent teacher conference and i didn't get cooked) HAPPY SATURDAY GAYS!🐺🐺

also if you took offense to any jokes i'm sorry i really don't mean any of it. i made references to some previous posts bc why not and i love f1 jokes so 😝😝

[seravphs]

lazybones

wc — 2k

tags — 18+ only, fem dom, sub gojo, riding

Have you been too hard on Gojo lately? 

You peek at him from the corner of your eyes. He’s next to you on the couch, freshly back from a mission. Even though he’s just sitting there, he’s being annoying again. It’s his presence, the general lack of respect that exudes from him. You clench your teeth against the urge to scold him. 

Playing teacher is a leftover habit from your school days. Yaga couldn’t control him, so you took it upon yourself. It took a lot of trial and error to figure out what made Gojo obedient. Taming the strongest is a delicate balancing act, never giving him too much of the carrot or the stick - right now, you might be teetering too much on the side of punishment. How long has it been since you gave him a reward? 

Gojo might be irritating, but he’s still deserving of respect as the pinnacle of Jujutsu society. He works hard, even if he doesn’t show it. 

You glance over at him again. He’s never injured when he comes back from missions, but sometimes there’s another problem he has to take care of. Since you first checked on his condition five minutes ago you've been waiting for him to ask for help or deal with it alone, but the visible bulge in his pants hasn’t gone away. The five minutes you gave him clearly wasn’t enough. 

You glance meaningfully between his thighs. “Are you going to take care of that?” 

“Nah,” he shrugs. “I’m exhausted. Too much work.”

Nodding, you return to your work. Halfway through shuffling papers, you realize that your threshold for normalcy has changed since knowing Gojo Satoru. He has that effect on people. Adapt or die. 

The couch shifts. Exasperated, you look over - only to see Gojo rolling his hips gently, grinding on nothing. His mouth is open and his eyes are closed as he pants softly. 

“Are you serious,” your voice is completely toneless. 

One eye cracks open, brilliant blue all the way to its core. “Hurts,” he groans. “This is the first time all week-“ 

“Can’t be that bad,” you say, even as you wonder why you’re entertaining this conversation, why you’re not getting up and leaving. “You look like you have all the time in the world. Can you even get off like that?”

“No.”

“Are you stupid?”

He moans. You know he’s only doing it to fuck with you. “Yeah, be meaner,” he goads. 

You don’t know why you’re saying it. “Do you need help?” 

He blinks. “Sorry?”

“Forget it,” your face burns. “If you don’t-“

“No, no,” he rushes to get the words out. “Help is good. Help would be great. Can you just, ah, can you-“

You reach over to palm him over his pants. He shudders, his spine taut as he arches instinctively towards your touch. His eyes roll back in his head. How badly did he need this? You shove his shoulders back so you have more room to work, preventing him from hunching over you. He grins up at you as you climb over him, straddling his thighs. 

“Shh,” you murmur. You don’t recognize your own voice. It’s sensual in a way you’ve never imagined you could be, especially not for him. There’s something soothing about it, melodic and low. “Don’t say anything. Just let me handle it.”

“Okay- ah, fuck,” he hisses as you grip him a little more meanly. 

“What did I say?”

Wisely, he doesn’t say anything. He’s always been a quick learner, usually the first to pick up on lessons. 

“Good boy,” you coo. A soft breath escapes through his half open lips. You settle on his lap, continuing to work him through pants until he can’t take it anymore and throws his head back, baring his throat. His Adam's apple bobs as he heaves for breath. It’s too tempting. You kiss a bead of sweat arcing down his neck, tasting the salt of his skin before you bite down. 

His muffled groan would tell you how much he liked it even if he wasn’t shaking with desire. Your lips curve into a smile against his neck before gracing him with another piece of evidence to carry with him tomorrow. 

When you pull back to survey him, there’s more red on his body than you left. He’s so wound up that he’s nearly bitten through his lower lip. You make a humming noise of disapproval at him, but it’s not a major concern when you have such an easy solution. 

He grabs at you as you climb off of him, but you shove his hands away. “Patience,” you scold as you tug your stockings off. His eyes light up, but you pity him. He doesn’t know what’s coming. 

You shove the black mesh into his mouth. “Keep that there until you can learn not to hurt yourself.” 

Whatever complaint he can voice through the fabric is lost as you drag his zipper down and reach into his boxers. His cock drools as you stroke him lazily, not putting too much thought into his enjoyment. This part is for you. 

It’s not enough, you know. He needs more stimulation. But you like the way he’s growing more and more needy. You want to drive him insane, want to see him lose everything for you. You want to peel back the persona of the strongest sorcerer and make him lose himself in lust. 

It’s almost sick, the way you want to see him brought low. A part of you wonders if you need to consider some kind of professional help for the enjoyment you’re deriving from this, the other, greater part is simply enjoying the high color in his cheeks. 

You know how to take him apart, piece by piece, and you do it with a beautiful, precise brutality. He breaks for you, lets you arrange him to your liking. 

“You can speak now,” you tell him, tugging your stockings out of his mouth. He moans in relief. 

“Can I- can I please come?”

“No one’s stopping you, sweetheart.”

He’s so out of it that he can’t control his expressions. You giggle at the face he’s making, almost sexier for how silly it is. You reach forward fondly to wipe the saliva at the corner of his mouth, doting on him. 

“So messy,” you murmur.  

The noise he makes in response is barely even human. 

“I can’t, not like this,” he whines. “Why are you torturing me?” 

“I’m not doing anything. You know what you have to do if you want to come.” 

He grins up at you, dazed. “You’re really going to make someone as pretty as me beg?”

“It’s because you’re pretty that I’m making you beg. Now come on, gorgeous. Put that mouth to work.” 

“You’re evil,” he whines. You can feel him twitching. 

“And?” 

“So mean,” there’s a slight hitch in his breath when your other hand reaches towards the nape of his neck, your nails gently scratching at his scalp. “You’re hurting my feelings, you know.”

Dragging your nail over the head of his cock produces a delicious shiver from him.“Come on, pretty boy. Don’t you want it?” 

He drops his head again, hanging over the back of the couch. “Fuck,” he pants. “Yeah. Please. I’ll do anything, please let me come.”

“Try a little harder.” 

He groans, throwing a hand over his eyes. “Damnit, what do you want from me?” 

You pull away. 

He yelps, scrambling towards you. “Wait. Wait! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. Please, come on?” 

“Tell me something I want to hear, princess.” Your strokes are slow, matching the tempo of your conversational tone. There’s a ruddy blush already spreading across his cheeks, dappled strawberry on cream. You want to bite it, so you do. Noise tears out of his chest, entirely authentic surprise. It’s only a second before you pull away, no harm done but the idea of it. Gojo scowls at you. 

It doesn’t change the fact that he got naked for you, or that he’s staying under you. You like him best like this, understanding of his place. 

A monster of a man, tamed just for you. 

“You’re obedient like a dog. Can you bark like one too?”

He gives you another scathing look which only merits a laugh. 

“No? Maybe next time.” 

You grip him a little tighter, rubbing your thumb into the sweet spot right under the head of his cock. He tries and fails not to twitch. It’s not good enough. You want to see him flail, sob, choke. You tease the sensitive tip and watch him crumble. 

“Fuck,” he whimpers. “Fuck, fuck, I’m so close, please.” 

His breath breaks on a moan, a strangled noise as he tries and fails to control himself. You love it, this part of him, still holding onto a quickly crumbling idea of pride or strength. It endears him to you so much you cup his cheek, comfort enough that he might be convinced to let go. 

His next word is lost in the sound of a hiccup as tears begin to build in the corner of his eyes. You can sympathize. He’s at the point where pleasure feels too good and everything begins to feel too sensitive, too painful. His nerves, already more refined than the average person’s, must be burning, yet he holds on. 

Not for much longer. You’ve built a rhythm now, stroking him fast, but he seems to love the manhandling. The rough treatment pushes him closer to the edge, closer to what you know he needs. His hips jerk with minute movements, trying not to drive you away once more. He wants to be good.  

He’s practically drooling as you push him around. The slick noises of your palm against his skin quicken as his abs clench, finally unraveling for you. You keep at it, stroking him through it to the edge of overstimulation. 

“Too much,” he whines. “It hurts!” 

You slow down. “So you don’t want more? Too bad, I was going to let you fuck me.” 

Gojo’s voice sounds ruined, but his hands are going to your hips instead of pushing you away. He tugs you even closer. You can feel him growing hard again, his cock pressed between your bodies. Even though he looks like he might sob if you keep toying with him, he nuzzles his head against your chest. 

“More, Satoru?” 

“Anything you’ll give me,” he promises. 

You test him first, offering nothing to test the limits of his sensitivity. He doesn’t whine anymore, knowing by now to let you do as you please. His big hands are splayed over your hips as he helps you bounce in his lap, fucking between your thighs, but not where he wants. 

“Can you even go again?” 

“I told you-” You decide that he can. “Oh god-” 

You’re hot and wet and tight around him. After so much teasing, his brain short-circuits. He said he could, but with the way he’s acting, you really don’t think he can handle it. You go to climb off him again, but Gojo moves before you can. 

“No,” he whimpers, hands pressing you down harder. He bucks his hips up, trying to get deeper, trying to fill you up. You don’t know how he still has the strength to carry you, but he’s the strongest, after all. He picks you up just to drop you back down onto him. 

You’re fucking like animals now, wet and messy. You can hardly hear anything over your combined moans and the noises coming from between the two of you, filthy, slick sounds. His hands are digging into your hips so hard that you can feel the bruises he’ll leave tomorrow. 

Every drag of his cock against your pussy is bordering on painful as he chases his own pleasure, blind to everything but his need to mark you. You’re so full it aches, but beautifully, until it transforms into something else, satisfying an all-consuming need inside of you. 

When you come, your orgasm wracks through your body. You clench down on him involuntarily, gasping as your pussy throbs around him. It ruins you, the way he presses up into you, trying to fuck you through it. Your thighs can’t stop trembling, your eyes rolling back in your head. You don’t want to imagine how you must look right now. 

“Close,” Gojo gasps out. He’s been reduced to monosyllables for the past few minutes, all wit vanished from him. No sooner than he says it, his head drops onto your shoulder as he presses you down onto his lap, spilling inside of you. You whimper at the feeling, heat spreading through your core. 

“What the fuck was that?” Gojo breathes shakily into the silence that ensues. 

“Just- just shut up,” you reply. You hadn’t expected it either. 

Gojo laughs and tucks a sweaty arm around you. “Were you hiding that from me all along? I mean, I knew you were into me, but-” 

You do the only thing you know will shut him up. You kiss him. His eyes are hazy when you pull back. 

“Um. Okay,” he says. “One more time?”

[muns0nslov3r]

I’m Trying But He’s Hot.

König has been your bodyguard for a week now, and hes gotten on your nerves already. Hes told your father about every little thing, like when you snuck out, or when you snuck your boyfriend in.

You were just sick of it, you sulked on the couch as you quietly groaned.. könig giving you an unimpressed look as he sighed before looking away.

"Verzogenes Gör.." he grumbled under his breath as you shot him a glare, going back to sulking as you fixed your hair.. it was one thing to be stuck with dude for a couple hours but a whole damn day? God it was like your dad was trying to torture you.

You stared at the tv, just thinking of a way to get out of here.. as you sighed. “i’m gonna go to the restroom” you said as you got up, he just gave you a grunt of approval as you walked away.

instead, you went to your room.. got changed as you snuck out the window, and called up your friends as you walked down to the gas station near by. screw könig, he wasn’t so smart as you thought he was.. or yet you thought.

see after a while, königs suspicion grew as he knew what you were doing. sense your dad had an apple tag on you so he could see where you were, yeah.. so guess who showed up to your friends house. meanwhile, you and your boyfriend were fucking up in one of the guest rooms.

as könig forced his way into the house before going upstairs, his boots making his footsteps loud. he stormed into the room as he looked at you, you let out a gasp as you covered yourself. “what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

you shouted at him, as he just scoffed before going over to you and grabbing your arm harshly, getting you out of the bed as you got on your clothes quickly before he brought you downstairs. “i’m sorry everyone but you’ll be without her presence for the rest of the day.”

he grumbled to your friends before bringing you to the car, getting you in as you scoffed. crossing your arms as he got into the other side. “your acting like a spoiled brat, your not a little kid.” könig said harshly as he glared at her before starting to drive back home, the silence being heavy.

once you guys got back, you rushed inside as könig grumbled. “ Verdammter kleiner Scheißer.. get back here now.” he said harshly as he went inside before slamming the door, looking at you.

“you fucking embarrassed me you pervert!” you shouted, clenching your fist. “i’m just following your fathers orders.” könig sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “if you wanna keep acting like a brat, fucking go ahead.” he glared at you as he walked towards you. “just fucking know who’s in control here.”

he harshly said as he looked down on you, your heart doing flips at how he sounded.. how he fucking looked? god he looked like a wet fucking dream. “fuck off.” you scoffed, looking into his eyes as his pupils blown wide, he chuckled fakely for a second as he looked away before harshly grabbing your chin to force you to look at him.

“ Du weißt nicht, wozu ich fähig bin, Liebling.” his words rushing straight to your core as you felt your face heat up, feeling the warmth of his hand through his glove against your skin made you shiver with arousal. “you wouldn’t do shit, your a pussy.”

you spat out as you smirked, watching as his eyes scanned across your face before grabbing you by the wrists hard.. bringing you towards your room as you softly moaned at the harshness, he grabbed both of your wrists and pushed you down onto the bed.

planting his hands by your head as he stared down at you, forcing his knee between your thighs. “wanna try that again..Liebling?” he looked at your face, before softly saying something in your ear. “are you okay with this.?” you felt your heart melt with admiration for how gentle he was no matter what, as you nodded.

“words.. i need words.” he said, as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “yes.. i’m okay with this..” you smiled, slightly lifting up his mask as you pressed a kiss to his jaw.. hearing his breath hitch and his thigh go more up against your pussy as you softly moaned.

feeling a shockwave run through your body as you shivered, keeping his mask up and deeply kissing him. he groaned as he kissed you back, his hand going down to softly cup your breast.

running his thumb against your hardening nipple as you softly whimpered, him swallowing down each moan and whimper from your mouth. “fuck liebling..” he moaned, his hardening dick pressing against your thigh.. he grinded his dick against your thigh as he kissed you deeply, you reached your hand down to cup his crotch.

giving it a soft squeeze, fuck.. his dick felt fucking big. he removed your shirt as he softly groaned, pressing kisses along your neck.. then your breasts.

pressing a kiss to your nipple as it hardened under his touch, you softly moaned as you bit your lip grinding your cunt down against his thigh. "i need you könig.." you moaned as you tugged at his hair, he softly groaned as he kissed down to your clothed cunt, pulling your pants and panties down together as he moaned at the sight of your wet cunt.

you shuddered at the coldness of the air hitting your cunt, clenching around nothing from the look in königs eyes.. you felt a warm wetness go against your cunt as you arched your back at the sudden pleasure.

königs eyes searched your face as he swirled his tongue around on your clit, watching you squirm and moan in pleasure as your hands went to his shoulders when he started to suck onto your clit. "oh fuckk!" you cried out as you clamped your thighs against königs head, hearing him let out a muffled groan against your clit which made you gasp.

sure your boyfriend ate you out, but not as good as könig.. it was heavenly. "So eine hübsche Muschi, Liebling.." he mumbled against your clit as he brought his fingers to your entrance, prodding the tip of his middle finger against your cunt as a blush rose onto your cheeks.

feeling his digit sink into your wet cunt as you moaned, his finger moving slowly as he curled it. doing a come here motion with his finger against your g-spot as you felt like you were melting under his touch, his finger fucking into you and his tongue swirling against your clit made you dizzy as you whimpered.

already close, your legs got little bit shaky as you bit your bottom lip. "fuck- im gonna- can i cum..?" you whined, as könig gave you a nod of approval.

so you let go, cumming hard around his finger as you moaned, gripping his hair harshly as you buried his face more into your cunt. your cunt clenching and unclenching around his digit as he slowly pulled his finger out, you whining at the overstim.

he looked at you as his pupils were blown wide, heavy breathing, his aching dick straining against his pants. "Schatz..i need to fuck you." he took off his shirt, then his pants and boxers, exposing his hard dick.. his sticky tip already leaking.

getting on top of you as he slowly stroked his dick, lifting his fingers to your mouth. "spit." he said as you shuddered, gathering all the spit in your mouth before spitting down onto his fingers. "Braves Mädchen."

he mumbled, before bringing his fingers down to swipe the spit on your cunt before the rest onto his dick as he slowly stroked his dick while lining his tip up to your entrance, and thrusting his dick into your cunt. a groan leaving his lips and a moan leaving yours, your nails digging into his back as you looked down at where you two were connected.

his dick stretching out your cunt as you whimpered tilting your head back, he gave a little thrust as he grunted. holding your thighs as he put your legs on his shoulders, beginning to thrust more as the sounds of skin on skin filled the room.. as well with your moans.

the wet sounds of his dick sliding in and out of your pussy was intoxicating as you gripped the sheets so hard, you were afraid you were gonna tore them.

struggling to keep eye contact with him as he moved his hand to your lower stomach, your eyes fluttering as you groaned quietly. “oh könig.. i- i love your dick.. so fucking- ngh.. much..”

you whined as you looked up into those baby blues, as he huffed out a shaky breath. tilting his head back, as his dick fucked your cunt more. your cunt clenching around him, milking him for all he’s worth as you whimpered. “Liebling..” he groaned, his muscles flexing a bit as you ran your hands down his back.

he leaned down so your knees were sorta up to your chest, putting his hands onto both sides of you as he began to thrust more harder, whimpers being pulled out of your mouth as you dug your nails into his back.

hearing his quiet and shaky moans, feeling his tip bump against your g-spot with each and every thrust. “fuck- i’m gonna.. i’m gonna cum!”

you cried as you arched your back a bit, feeling his thumb go down and rub your clit. you cried out and squirmed a bit as you came hard around his dick, from you gripping the fuck out of his dick.. caused him to cum with you.

feeling his dick twitch inside you as he let out a long groan, burying his face into your neck as he carefully rested on top of you but being careful not to harm you.

pressing soft kisses to your collarbone as you softly sighed, running your fingers through his hair and softly scratching his scalp.. hearing him shiver as you chuckled quietly.

“are you okay?” he softly said, sitting up as he fixed your hair out of your face. “i’m okay.. don’t worry.” you smiled as you sighed, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

he pulled out of you as he quietly groaned at the sensitivity, before taking off to go grab a wash cloth.. soon coming back as he cleaned you off, then cleaned himself off. his eyes scanning over your face, and your body.. but in a innocent way this time.

he got on his boxers and got you into your shirt and a pair of shorts, and just cuddled up against you. you didn’t mind this.. hell you could cuddle with him forever, having him lay his head on your chest.

maybe, just maybe.. he wasn’t so bad after all.

[dancingtotuyo]

In the Silence (Joel Miller)

As often happens, my one shot turns into multiple shots. Second part to Build you the World

Joel Miller X Reader

Rating: PG-13 (some sexual references, language)

Warnings: 3rd trimester pregnancy, descriptions of pregnancy and labor (not really a lot for the actual child birth)

Tags: pre-outbreak, no outbreak (they deserve happiness!), pregnancy, fluffiness, Craftsman!Joel, 90s references, we are in 1995 folks!

Words 2832

Series Master List | Author Master list

You groaned spread out on the bed in nothing but your cotton nightgown. A foot jammed into your lungs and another your spine forcing you to your side. The foot jammed deeper into your lung stealing your breath away.

“You little brat. If I suffocate, I take you with me, you know.” You said, looking at your ever-growing stomach.

“That’s no way to speak to our son.” Joel leaned against the door, hands tucked in his pockets in such a way that you were sure that exact stance is what got you into this position in the first place.

“Go away. I don’t want to see you.”

Joel chuckled. “You don’t mean that, baby.”

“Yes, I do. You made me this way.”

Joel raised an eyebrow shaking his head. You groaned, not because of the baby playing tennis with your internal organs but because despite not wanting to be touched, desire coursed through your veins. You both wanted Joel inside you and to get the fuck away from you. Pregnancy was weird and annoying and wonderful and all that other cliche stuff pregnant women say. Another swift kick to your lungs was all the cold water you needed. You grunted having to catch your breath.

“Damn, I saw him move on that one.” Joel sat on the edge of your shared bed. You’d moved in at the start of your second trimester once the morning sickness tapered.

“Yeah, right into my lungs.” You shift ever so slightly, trying to create separation between your son’s foot and the organ that kept you breathing.

“Maybe he is a little bit of a brat.” Joel winked at you and you managed a chuckle. “Must be your genes kickin' in.”

You swatted his arm. He laughed, leaning down to kiss your cheek. You allowed it, warming up to the idea of having him near. You were in a constant state of fluctuation, swinging back and forth between wanting Joel as close as possible to not wanting him anywhere near you.

“Sarah is home, wants to know if she can come up. Wants to watch a movie in our bed.” He pressed a kiss right under your ear. Was he trying to seduce you?

“Sounds good to me.” You were more than happy not to have to go down stairs.

Going down stairs meant you had to go back up and that was getting harder by the day. Last night Joel was practically moving your body for you and you were still breathless before reaching the top. Joel was by no means weak. He’d had no problem throwing you over his shoulder 9 months ago, but two weeks from your due date, you’d gained 40lbs and your body weight distribution was different. You both shared fears that both of you might end up at the bottom of the steps if he attempted to carry you up. Throwing you over his shoulders wasn’t really an option right now.

“Might just keep you to myself for a few more minutes.” He grinned, another kiss on your neck. Your breath caught.

His hand traveled over your bare collarbone. Goosebumps rose over your skin. It followed down over your swollen, sensitive breasts. A soft moan. His hand traveled down further. He leaned into you more, more of his body touching yours, and you were done. Not in a good way.

He felt your body language change beneath him. “Ugh, I need to not be touched right now.”

Joel sighed, pulling back with an understanding smile. “I’ll go get, Sarah.”

“Will you bring me a snack?”

“Apples?”

“With peanut butter?”

“Is there any other way, my love?” Joel smiled. He disappeared around the corner and immediately, a fist to your bladder.

“Joel?”

You heard him turn and come back up the stairs. “Yeah?”

“Will you help me up? Your son just stabbed my bladder.”

He chuckled, offering out his hands. You took them moving to a sitting position. Joel waited for your nod until helping you to your feet. “Got it from here?”

“I think you.” You laugh, waddling toward the bathroom, and it was a true waddle.

The doctors estimated the baby was going to be at least 8 pounds and with 2 weeks left to your due date, you couldn’t believe he could get any bigger. The pressure you felt all around your abdomen, and as hot as you felt all the time, and the pressure, and the kicks to your internal organs, and the thought of delivering an 8-pound baby, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. You loved feeling your son move around in your womb, especially when he wasn’t targeting your internal organs. He was a physical expression of the love you felt for the man downstairs.

You stopped at the nursery door. You loved this room. Joel had finished the crib months ago, adding some more detailing to the rails. You ran a hand over it. It brought tears to the surface every time you looked at it.

The three of you had painted the walls a soft green. Sarah had been so happy to be included in the painting but lost interest after the first hour.

Your eyes drifted to the rocking chair. Joel crashed your baby shower. You smiled as you remembered the look on your mother’s face as he walked through the door. Your mother, ever the traditionalist, was horrified when a man crashed the event. Joel was already on her bad side for knocking you up and not marrying you immediately.

Joel had bustled in, declaring it was “his son too.” He’d set the rocking chair down right in front of you presenting it to you like a male penguin presenting a pebble to his mate. You’d fallen even more in love with him.

You fought the urge to sit in the rocking chair. You’d have to call Joel to get up if you did. You placed a hand on top of your stomach, it was much more than a bump at this point. “I love you so much little man. We can’t wait to meet you.”

You made your way back to the bedroom, easing down as Sarah bounded in. You smiled. “Hi Princess. How was school?” She’d started first grade this fall.

She climbed onto the bed. Joel came in close behind her, VHS tape in hand. “Good, Miss Jordan said we’re having Show and Tell next month. Can I take my baby brother? He’ll be here by then, right?”

You laughed, kissing her head. “I don’t think so. He’ll be too little, but you could take a picture of him instead.”

Sarah sighed, seeming to contemplate the proposition. “I’ll have to think about it.”

You caught Joel’s smile out of her periphery. “What movie did you pick?”

“Lion King.”

“Yeah, and someone forgot to rewind it last time,” Joel said, shooting a teasing smile at Sarah.

“Oops.” Sarah giggled.

You settled onto your side, fighting the heaviness of your eye lids. Sarah loved the Lion King so much you were sure the 2 month old VHS tape would need to be replaced before Christmas. It made you cry. Joel would tell you “cry” was an understatement. He was probably right. Weep might be more accurate.

Sarah sat with her back against your stomach. She’d learned not to put too much weight against you. Just enough that it didn’t trigger the need for personal space and just enough that she could feel the baby when he kicked.

Joel hit play and Sarah was instantly absorbed into the world. Joel settled on the other side of the bed, facing you. He brushed your hair back, fingers light over your cheek and neck. You smiled through shut eyes. He leaned over, breath hot in your ear. “Let me know if it gets to be too much, we can move downstairs.”

Between the noise of the TV and the breeze from the fan, sleep felt nearer than consciousness. You floated in the in-between haze. You grabbed his hand, letting it set on top of your stomach. Almost on cue, there was a thud in your womb right under Joel’s hand. Sarah has felt it too.

She giggled. “This is my favorite part too.”

You kept your voice soft and quiet. “Just wake me up after the sad part.” - Mufasa’s death of course, but just saying it made tears well in your eyes.

Joel chuckled, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Of course, baby.” Another to your forehead. “I love you.”

~

Your first contraction came at the grocery store. You’d insisted Joel take you with him this week, desperate to get out of the house. You’d had a little spurt of energy today which was a welcome change. You didn’t pay any mind to it, passing it off as Braxton Hicks.

The second one came as you pulled into the driveway. You paused in the passenger seat as it passed. Joel tapped on the door, a brown paper bag in one hand. “You good baby?”

You opened the door. “Yeah, just some Braxton Hicks.”

He offered his free hand and you took it. He pulled you up, bicep straining under his t-shirt. His hand rested on your back as he lead you inside. Sarah bounded across the Adler’s front yard into yours as soon as she spotted the two of you.

“Hey princess, you have a good time with the Adlers?” You sent Mrs. Adler a wave of thanks and assurance.

Sarah shrugged. “It was alright.”

Joel chuckled. Your neighbors were a little out there, but sweet nonetheless. They doted on Sarah like she was their grandchild. Joel’s parents had walked out of his life when he was a teenager. Your Dad died from a heart attack just a month after meeting Joel. He never got to meet Sarah and your mother… she wasn’t jumping to play grandma to either of your children. As odd as they might be, you both appreciated the Adlers' influence in Sarah’s life.

You and Joel never really talked about it, but somewhere along the line, Sarah had become yours too. You’d been around for over half of her life now. It was bound to happen. You were the backup contact at school, picked her up several days a week when you were nine months pregnant. You went to parent-teacher conferences. You’d learned the intricacies of caring for hair. You went to parent-teacher conferences and cared for her when she was sick. She’d called you mom once. Sarah hadn’t even realized it. Joel had come home to find you crying in the kitchen.

“Can we get a dog? The Adlers just got a dog. Her name is Mercy”

“You’re about to get a baby brother.”

“Can I teach him to do tricks?”

Joel shrugged. “Don’t see why not.”

You smacked Joel’s shoulder stifling a laugh. He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your head as he went to collect the rest of the groceries.

By dinner time you’d had three more contractions. Sarah suckered you two into a movie night that extended past her bedtime. You and Joel both wanted to treasure the last few moments with just her before the baby came. You’d managed to talk her out of The Lion King and into a princess movie.

Joel noticed you shifting throughout the movie. It wasn’t uncommon for you to move around a lot, but tonight you seemed to be extra restless. The contractions were coming steadily every 15 minutes.

Joel took Sarah up to bed. You were down to 10 minutes. It started to set in that maybe you were in labor. The thought paralyzed you. It was like one of those things you know is going to happen, but illogically you think will never actually come.

“You feeling okay, Baby? You were shifting around an awful lot?”

The TV glowed blue in front of you. A hand rested on your bump. “I think I’m in labor.”

“Oh shit…”

You laughed. “Oh, shit is right.”

Joel kneeled in front of you, taking your hand. You smiled at him. You could read the nerves firing off inside of him. You squeezed his hand. “Walk with me?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Shouldn’t we go?”

You shook your head. “I’m at 10 minutes apart.” Joel nodded. The doctor said 7 minutes. You could tell Joel was fighting the urge to jump into “do-er” mode. “And I want to walk around our home one last time, just you and me.”

His thumb rubbed your hand. “Okay, baby.”

He stood, offering his hands as he had so many times. You accepted and he pulled you up. Neither of you said a word. His hand rested low on your hip and you settled yours on top of your stomach. You walked through the kitchen and then back to the living room. Nothing but the dark of night and peace between you. You left the back door open and wandered into the backyard, walking the fenceline. Joel had started to outline where the raised beds would go. That was his next project. He’d finished the back porch just as the winter chill settled in.

You stopped as another contraction started. Joel paused almost simultaneously like he sensed it. You made a few laps around the yard at a snail’s pace. Another contraction hit. Joel didn’t say anything as he glanced down at his watch, but you knew it hadn’t been ten minutes yet. He steered you inside.

He closed the door. You sighed, not wanting to break the silence. You could tell Joel was barely keeping it together. “Go get Mrs. Adler.”

He looked like a weight lifted off his shoulders. He kissed your forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

You rand through the mental checklist. Your bag was in the car. You were in comfy clothes. There were two hair ties on your wrist. Shoes, you needed a pair of those. Your sandals sat by the front door. Joel was getting Mrs. Adler. You would call your mom from the hospital. Sarah- you sighed. You wanted more than anything to go kiss her forehead. You weren’t making up the stairs, you knew that. So you pictured her in her room, snuggled until the covers her chest rising and falling steadily. You pressed a kiss to your hand, sending it up to her room on your breath. This might be your first baby, but that little girl made you a mom.

Joel came in. Mrs. Adler was hot on his heels. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. Mrs. Adler gave you a hug. You’d gone over the plan last week. Numbers were on the fridge and fresh sheets on the guest bed.

~

Your labor progressing at a linear rate would’ve been too easy. Once checked in at the hospital, your contractions were 5 minutes apart. However, your cervix only measured at 2 cm. That was 36 hours ago. Your labor had basically stopped around 3 am that first night. They’d tried everything to keep it going. Walks up and down the hallway, drugs, but nothing worked. You felt like a medical miracle or something. You and Joel had even snuck off to the bathroom for a quickie. Nothing did it. They discussed breaking your water, but labor had pretty much stopped. Your contractions turning sporadic. The doctors talked about a c-section, but you and the baby appeared to be fine. The only thing keeping them from sending you home was wanting to monitor both of your vitals.

Joel was restless. His eyes were bloodshot from nurses interrupting your sleep every couple of hours. You imagined you looked to be in similar shape. Visitors weren’t allowed in until after you had the baby, but Joel met Sarah and Mrs. Adler for an hour that second afternoon. He returned in much better spirits.

It made you more cranky. You missed Sarah. You were tired of being in the hospital, and dammit if you didn’t just want to hold your baby in your arms.

“If my labor doesn’t start by supper, I want a c-section.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Joel nodded. He kissed your forehead.

At 4 pm, the contractions started up again almost out of nowhere. By 4:30, Joel squeezed your hand while your doctor instructed you on what to do. At 5:07 pm on a crisp March evening, Asher Joel Miller made his way into the world. He announced his entrance into the world with the scream of healthy lungs weighing 8 pounds, 12 ounces, a number you never let Joel forget.

The medical personnel filtered out of the room. Asher, having been cleaned up, now rested contently between you and Joel. He had Joel’s nose and you could see the promise of brown curls on his head. Joel kissed your forehead and then your son’s. He pulled you in tighter. He didn’t need to say a word and neither did you. You felt his love running over like the bathtub when Sarah left the facet running.

[inkmonster21]

Sing for Me

7. Domestic Dinner Dates

Cooper Howard × Fem!Reader / The Ghoul × Fem!Reader

She's a singer the nation adores. He's the actor everyone respects. What happens when these two get entangled in a heated affair? Passion, regret, rage, and even murder will commence. From before the bombs drop to the vast wasteland, these two souls live for one another.

Previous Chapter Series Masterlist

Tagged: @fallout-girl219 @harmfulb1tch @themadhattersqueen

I fix my shirt in the mirror. A knowing smile on my lips. “You look nice Daddy.” Janey catches my attention from the open doorway. Tomorrow we planned on discussing the future with Janey. She was a smart girl. She had noticed a shift in the dynamic of the house. She never once picked a side. She was pure of heart and full of joy. I kiss her forehead as I exit. “Thank you, sweetheart.” She follows on my heels. “Where are you going?” I look over my shoulder with a grin. “I'm having dinner with a friend. I wish I could stay honey pie. I heard your moms making your favorite tonight.” I stand at the door, grabbing the keys off the table.

Barb walks out of the kitchen, Pip-Boy on, files in hand, and a pep in her step. “Actually,” she starts with a simple smile, “I’ve got a meeting, and it was so short notice I couldn't find a sitter. Janey can tag along with you to dinner with your… friend. Can’t she?” I stare at her in disbelief. No doubt this was a planned move. She’s so particular in scheduling. There was no way she didn’t know at least days in advance.

I chew on the inside of my cheek. Would (y/n) feel overwhelmed? Fuck I’m sure. This JUST started and here I go tossing her into the fire. Barb sure as hell knew of my plans.

Janey smiles and jumps in excitement. “Yeah, Daddy, can I?” Barb smiles with evil eyes; an innocent mask. I scoop Janey up in my arms, “Of course you can!” I exit the house with my daughter in tow. I drive over to her house hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

“Who are we going to dinner with, Daddy?” Janey asks as she watches the passing cars and trees. “You remember that singer you like? I took you to see her a while back.” Janey gasps loudly, “(y/n)? Yes! Is she nice? Will she like me? Can I sing with her?” I laugh at her various questions. “I’m sure she’s going to love you, Janey.”

~

Three solid knocks on the door notify me of Cooper's arrival. I stand from my spot on the couch, straightening my outfit to perfection. My nerves were shot, and my hands were fumbling with the door knob. I opened it to see him, I couldn’t help but smile. Dashing in a dress shirt and coat. The fall air is crisp in the evening. “Hi,” in a daze I exit the house and lean into him. He distanced himself, glancing back to his vehicle. I feel the clenching in my chest. Was he not here to pick me up? Is Barb in the car? Was this a setup? "Cooper? What's wrong?"

"There's been a slight change of plans." I stare at him with wide eyes, my hands beginning to shake. "Oh?" He nods back to the car, "Janey is tagging along." My nerves ease slightly. "Your daughter?" Why on earth would she be coming? Wouldn't Barb flip if she knew? I'm sure she's told Janey what she thinks of me. Cooper nods with a sigh, "If you want to reschedule or, just cancel, I understand." I look at him in confusion, "Now, why on earth would I cancel just because you had Janey? I've been wanting to meet her forever now." He shrugs, a shy smile creeping its way to his lips. "Well, I don't know. I didn't want you to feel overwhelmed. She's a real good kid." I grab his hand and tug him down the driveway. "Then we better not keep her waiting."

I enter the car with a smile. "Hi! I'm Janey!" She beams as she clings to the back of my seat. "Hello Janey. My name is (y/n). I've heard so much about you." She gasps and smiles at Cooper. "Really? I've heard so much about you too! My dad loves to talk about you." I blush as she reveals his secrets. "He says your hair smells like apple pie." She giggles causing Cooper to shake his head. "Okay, that's enough out of you."

We arrived at the restaurant, ate, and left with no issue. I enjoyed it with Janey even more than I would've just Cooper and I. She was the sweetest little girl. So full of wonder and light. She skips down the sidewalk singing a song. We stroll up to the theater. An idea sparks in my head. "Janey! Do you want to see something cool?" She stops mid-skip and turns on her heels. "Yeah!"

I peel myself from Cooper's side and dig in my purse for my keys. "What are you doing?" Cooper asks from behind. I insert the key into the lock with a grin. "We're going to show Janey what it's like to be on the big stage." I open the large door to the theater. Darkness enveloped the building until I flicked the switch. One by one the rows of light lit up each row before lighting up the large stage, the red velvet curtain hanging with grace. "Whoa!" Janey gasps as she runs down the empty aisle. Cooper watches her with a grin, a proud smile on his face. He races after her, helping her onto the stage and spinning her around. He cared for her deeply. I could only feel my heart swell for him more.

We sang, danced, and laughed together. It felt natural as if the universe brought us all together for the pure reason of making each other happy. As Cooper pulls up into my driveway I feel my chest clench. I didn't want this night to end. I bring my head up from resting on his shoulder and frown at him. "I wish you could stay," I whisper to him lowly. He parks the car and meets my gaze. The longing look in his eyes begging to be released. He looks back to Janey, who is happily admiring the large house. "It is getting a little late." I nod in agreement. His smile growing. "And it's almost an hour and a half drive back to your house." Cooper looks at Janey once more. "Janey, what do you say we stay here with (y/n) tonight and hit the road in the morning." She shrugs with a simple grin. "Okay." This child was too easy.

Janey wanted the grand tour, and so she received the tour. She even recorded a short original song in the recording studio. It wasn't too long before she was yawing, silently begging for a bed to rest. Cooper settled her in the guest bedroom and in the meantime I rolled a small joint, prepping for tomorrow. I licked the paper and rolled it up nicely. "And what are you doing, darlin'?" Cooper asks as he walks down the steps. He walks around like he owns the place, clearly comfortable in my home. The thought made me smile. I wave the small joint. "Just rolling. Don't worry, I'm putting it up." He shrugs, taking the seat next to me. "Well, now hold on a second." I look at him in disbelief. "No way." "I was young once too." I grab his face, pecking his lips. "You're still young, Cooper." He rolls his eyes and grabs the joint out of my fingers. "You turn 40 and then come talk to me, sweetheart."

Back and forth, back and forth, again and again, Cooper and I smoked the joint until it was almost gone. I followed his hand as it moved closer, “Want another toke, sweetheart?” My eyes move up to his, a smirk growing. I wasn't a lightweight, but Cooper was a drug that made me high all in itself.

I took the joint from his fingers and took another, longer than necessary drag. I hold it in as I hand the joint back of the red eyes squinted, Cooper smiles at me like a teenager. He watches every inch of my face with intent. He runs his index finger down my cheek. "I love you." Those three words are more addictive than anything on earth. I nuzzle into his hand. "I love you, Cooper." I kiss down his palm, the deeper I go the lighter I feel.

“You know,” I begin, keeping my eyes fixated on him. "We could always… go to bed." He raised his brow, "Go to bed?" I stand from the couch, running my finger over the pearls around my neck. "Don't you want to take me to bed, Cooper?" He bites the inside of his cheek, "I think I do."

He picked me up with ease, attaching our lips in a heated passion. He maneuvers the staircase and the hallway with ease, entering my bedroom and tossing me down on the plush sheets. He lays down, hands on my hips.

Confidence soars when I'm high, and I wanted Cooper since the second I opened my front door. "I want you so bad," I breathe out into his neck, grasping at the collar of his shirt. He smirks, “What are you waiting for then, sweetheart?”

I crawl over him, my legs moving to straddle his waist. I bite my lip as you look down at him, eyes burning with desire. He brings a hand up, gently laying it on my cheek, “You’re so beautiful.”

I lay a hand on his cheek, smiling as you lean down, “I love you, Cooper.” I press my lips to his, sliding my hands down his shirt, unbuttoning his shirt one by one. His hands grip my hips as I continue to undo his shirt until it is open. I begin to run my hands over his bare chest. He leans back, “I love you.”

He pushes my hips and I dig my nails into his skin as I grind down onto his throbbing length. I whimper, “I need you.” He smiles against my lips and strokes my hips with his thumbs, “In good time, baby. Just relax, okay? Let me take care of you.” Cooper lays me down on the bed, his body over mine. My legs hook around his waist. He leans his head down to kiss my neck. I let out a moan as he sucks a deep purple mark into my skin.

He kisses up to my lips and slides his hands up under my dress. His hands found my breasts. He massages them with a groan, digging his crotch into my clothes core. I arch my back, eyes rolling closed as his fingers pinch and pull at my nipples, “I want to take it slow. Okay, baby?”

I open my eyes, moaning as he continues to slowly roll my nipples between his fingers, “F-fuck, Coop.” I slide a hand around to press it to his cheek, “Go as slow as you want baby.” You smirk, “But, next time You should throw me around a little.” His length hardened more just from the words spoken.

“Goddamn, I love you.” His lips crash onto mine again and he pushes his hips deeper. “I'm going to take these off. Okay, honey?” I nod, moving my hips to assist him as he slides my panties off. He tosses them to the floor, caressing my legs slowly, kissing up to my knees, and down my thighs.

He brings his fingers to his lips, collecting a little spit before he drops his hand down to my needy cunt. I let out a breathy moan, my head already buzzing from the high. I look up at him, biting down on my lip as I feel him push two fingers into my cunt. I gasp and slide my hand to the back of his head. I toss my head back, "Cooper," I whine, "Please don't tease." I could feel the smirk against my lips. He traces my tongue, before removing his fingers.  

He replaces his fingers with the head of his cock, pushing into my flower. I grip the sheets, eyes closing as I feel my walls stretching around him, “Fuck, Cooper, you feel so good.” I look up at him, face twisting with pleasure as he pulls out and pushes back in.

He leans down, hips rolling slowly into mine, “You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.” I arch my back, clenching around him as he swallows my moans, “I’m gonna cum if you keep squeezing my cock like that.”

Running a hand through his hair, I bite his neck, suckling his skin in several places. “You fuck me so good.” His eyes search mine as a smirk grows on his face, “I love when you say that shit to me.” I tighten my legs around his waist as I gasp, “fuck,” I squeeze his cock, my orgasm tearing right through me. I cry out, coving my mouth with my hand, “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’ts-“ “Fuck, (y/n).” He groans as he fights his grips on my hips, “Come on, pretty girl.” He kisses my lips and leans up, “I want to feel it. Come for me, baby” I let out a moan and tightened my grip around him, moaning out his name over and over again.

Cooper manages to keep his thrusts steady enough to guide me through my high before his cock quickly vacates. He reaches down, stroking his cock while I plant gentle kisses on his face. I feel his hot cum spill out into my pelvis. He rolls over with a groan and a ghost of a smile. He lays still for a solid minute before I nudge him with my foot. I couldn't help but giggle, "Coop, honey, I love you. You think you can get me a towel?" His head pops up with a light grin. "Oh, shit, yeah." He scurries off to my bathroom, returning with a hand towel. Cooper cleans up his mess with delight.

He leans in and pecks my lips, “I love you.” I smile, returning the gesture “I love you too.” I kiss his face several places making him grin, “I’m going to go get us a snack, do you wanna roll us another one?” I look at him wide-eyed. "Cooper Howard. The pot smoker. What would your fans say?" He shrugs, tugging his pants back on. "A man can live a little." He leans forward with a smile, “So you want anything special?” His hand resting on my cheek with a dopey grin. I shake my head, “Just you, so hurry back."

[haunted-headset]

♩ Come Be Lonely With Me ♩

Summary: You're known as the 'loner' kid in high school. Wilbur's the popular boy. When he sticks up for you when his friends mess with you, he gets kicked out of his friend group. So, you two decide to be lonely together.

author's note: hey guys! i know nobody requested this, but I was bored :) this was based off of the song This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory!

pairing: school!bur x afab!reader

pronouns used for reader: She/her/hers

word count: 796

proofread?: nope :)

tags: @vibestillaxxx @joviepog (lemme know if you want to be tagged in the next one!)

warnings/cw: reader skips a meal, someone making a self-harm joke, mention of h*ntai (doesn't describe it, someone just assumes what someone's artwork is), swearing, mention of Wilbur shoving someone,

genre: fluff & a teensy tiny bit of angst

You sat down at your usual lunch table near the school's tennis courts & looked at your meal; the usual stale grilled cheese with a (most likely moldy) apple. You sighed & threw both items in the trash. You weren't hungry anyway.

You heard a loud crash sound from the table behind you. You turned around to be greeted with the sight of the popular kids getting involved in a food fight. They all looked identical; the girls were bake blondies & had their boobs practically spilling out of their tank tops, & the guys needed to pull up their pants. The only one who stood out to you was a boy named Wilbur. It was always odd how he ended up in the popular crowd since he seemed so...different from the rest. Unlike the other popular boys, he had a nice sense of style & didn't have a hideous haircut. Not to mention that he actually had potential, unlike his brain-dead friends.

You were too busy spacing out to react to one of the boys throwing an apple at your head. This earned a hearty laugh from everyone except for Wilbur.

"What's your problem?" you muttered.

"Yo! Lemme scan your barcodes!" one of the boys shouted to you.

Wilbur looked over at you with eyes filled with pity. You gave him a scowl in return.

"I bet she gets jealous of her phone when it dies," one of the girls laughed.

You rolled your eyes & put your earbuds in. You pulled out your sketchbook & you drew Wilbur, not knowing what else to draw. You liked his hair & wanted to try & make it look good on paper.

RJ, one of the popular guys, grabbed your earbuds & said to his mates, "Oi! I bet she's listenin' to MCR or some shit!"

"What the fuck is your problem?" you snapped, reaching out to grab your earbuds. He chucks them into the trash can before you can grab them.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" you shouted, which caused the group to laugh.

"I bet she's drawin' h*ntai, too!" RJ mocked, grabbing your sketchbook. "What's this? It looks like shit."

"It's nobody, now give it ba-" you started.

"I think it's Wilbur!" a girl laughed.

Wilbur's cheeks lit up like a red stoplight. Your cheeks followed suit.

"Aww, have you got a crush on 'im?" RJ teased. He chucked your sketchbook into the trash can.

"What the-my GSCE work was in there!" you yelled, blinking back tears.

"Oh yeah? You gonna cry?" he teased.

& then Wilbur did something very surprising. He shoved RJ to the ground.

"Can you leave her the fuck alone & not be a prick for about five seconds?" he snapped. You expected at least one person to agree. Instead, Wilbur was met with boos from his friends.

"We're just joking, Wilbs!" a girl shouted. "Don't be such an ass!"

"I'm not an ass, she just doesn't deserve harsh treatment," Wilbur said. You didn't stick around for the rest of the conversation. You walked over to the trashcan, fished your earbuds & sketchbook out of the trashcan & quickly walked over to the lockers.

You leaned against the wall next to your locker & slid to the floor. You sighed angrily & groaned with exhaustion. The bullying was a normal thing, but it wasn't ever like this. What was different? You weren't aware of any new rumors about you that had spread, so it couldn't have been that.

"Y/n?" You suddenly heard Wilbur's voice & he was standing in front of you.

"Yeah?" you asked, raising a brow.

He sat down in front of you. "You seem sad."

"I'm just pissed."

"Is there really a difference?"

"Yeah. When I'm pissed, I want to break a wall. When I'm sad, I want to break myself."

He nodded. "That makes sense."

"Does it?" you asked.

"Yeah. You're very good at explaining, from what I can tell. You're also very good at art. & you have cool hair."

He motioned toward your hair, which was dyed h/c. You smiled for the first time in weeks. He chuckled in response.

"Y/n, can I ask you a question?"

You raised your brow. "Sure."

"Are you lonely?"

You blinked in surprise at the blunt question. "I suppose so."

He stood up & held out his hand with a smile. "Come be lonely with me."

You laughed & he helped you stand up. You two walked out to a field for the rest of lunch, & when the bell rang, you two decided to hop over the fence to skip class for the rest of the day to hang out at the milkshake shop nearby.

It was nice to be lonely with him.

[mellaithwen]

Several Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the lovely @homerforsure and @rewritetheending thaaaaank you my dears! I feel quite rusty but Allison assures me this isn’t shit haha so here’s some 5.06AU because it’s been a while!

“You think I can’t read you like a book?” Mitchell asks, his head tilted to one side as though he actually expected an answer to his wholly rhetorical question.

Eddie doesn’t respond, and when he swallows, his Adam’s apple brushes against the barrel of the gun being held under his chin.

“Yeah,” Mitchell continues, as though Eddie’s stillness was a response in itself. “All cool and calm under pressure, but it’s all a show. I can see that. There’s a fire there, a rage. Your partners’ blood is on your hands. The game’s changed.”

Asshole, Eddie thinks to himself, keeping his gaze fixed forward as his nostrils flare. He hasn’t blinked in a while now, but he can go longer still. He’s sure of it.

“Maybe I should dump him on the side of the road?” Mitchell contemplates, goading his audience. Eddie knows better than to respond, but there’s an honest to god *sparkle* in Mitchell’s eyes that makes Eddie want to rage and snarl at the words.

Try it, he imagines hissing, and I’ll put you down.

“Fuck you,” he says instead, his jaw tight, his teeth clenched, and Mitchell just grins for having garnered a response.

Tagging @princessfbi @lovebuck @renecdote @hopeintheashes @capseycartwright @littlespoonevan @fcntasmas @like-the-rest-of-la @shortsighted-owl @kananjarus @zainclaw @hattalove and @clusterbuck :)

[writting-stuff-sometimes]

Christmas time - Charles x fem reader

Summary: You return home for Christmas and fin yourself spending it with and old lover and his family.

Warnings: None, just fluff and some angst.

AN: From the topic, you might know since when I've been working on this but I finally decided to finish it, I was going to wait till Christmas to publish it but what the heck. As you can see I have a thing for exes, writing here it's cheaper than therapy. As always feedback it's appreciated, accepting requests, and let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.

Christmas had always been a confusing time for you, you thought of it as too cheese but at the same time you could spend a whole weekend just watching and crying over Christmas

movies, so now that you were coming back home for the holidays after being away for so long, it felt as if you were in one of them.

You had been living in the US for 5 years, and like in all those stupid chick flicks, you had moved to the other side of the world because you wanted to escape your life after a painful breakup and the US was far enough from everyone you knew, and a certain sport your ex was part of. You were supposed to be studying there for 2 years but then the pandemic hit and you got stuck, you found a job that started as a part time but eventually became full time.

"Mom, are you serious? isn't Christmas a holiday you're supposed to spend with family?" you said as you struggle to wrap a present.

"What are you talking about? The Leclerc's are family! Don't you remember how many vacations we've spend together? the summers at the lake and winters up in the cabin? You, Lorenzo and Charles in your onesies playing in the snow as baby Arthur followed all of you around?"

Now you were kind of getting why you felt how you felt about christmas, your mom was in love with the holiday and it was cute but exhausting at the same time.

"Have you talk to them? I heard they went to the US a couple of times this year" In her defense, she had no idea you and Charles had been dating for a few months, actually as far as you knew only your best friend and Lorenzo knew about it after they found you making out in his kitchen one night after a party.

"No, we lost track of each other after I moved" you lied and returned to your wrapping task, actually Charles did try reaching out to you when he found out you moved and again when he went to race there, but you had all rights to ignore his calls and messages, the day you broke up he had been an ass.

_____________

The fight started when you confronted him about some pictures of him at a nightclub in Austria, you had no problem with him having fun after a stressful weekend, the girl grinding her ass against his body, his hand on her waist and the fact that it wasn't the first time this had happened, was the problem.

"It was a fan, I didn't want to be rude", Clearly this superstar status had gone to his head. "They don't know I have a girlfriend! You want me to be rude?"

"And who decided we shouldn't tell anyone?"

"You know why I don't want them to..."

"Yeah, yeah protecting our privacy, I would buy that story if you weren't going around the fucking world letting girls grind against you every five fucking minutes!"

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, I won't change my mind about it" The defiant look on his face told you everything you needed to know and now it was your turn to make a decision.

"Don't worry, you don't have to lie to your fans anymore" You stormed out of his room, that was the last time you spoke to each other.

You cried for weeks, you actually loved him but seeing pictures of him with a different girl at parties and nightclubs after every race weekend was just too painful. It only took you a couple of weeks to realize that staying in Monaco was a bad idea, his face and name were all over the place. One day, like a miracle fallen from the sky, one of your teachers told you about a scholarship to study in the US, you didn't think it twice and applied, and two months later you were boarding a plane to New York.

A couple of days after you arrived to the US, Charles tried every posible way of getting in touch with you, but you sticked to your decision and ignored all his messages.

You couldn't actually say you had fallen out of love, the good moments had been amazing and those you would cherish forever. _______

"I don't have anything to wear tho" it was a lame excuse but you really wanted to escape the awkward christmas weekend your mom had planned.

"Oh, don't worry about it, I bought you a cute dress, it's in your closet!"

You finished loading the van with the tons of things your mom wanted to take for the weekend-long stay at the Lecrerc's cabin and finally went upstairs to deal with the stress of seeing your ex, you threw yourself on your childhood bed and closed your eyes.

"Hi sweety, can I come in?" Your dad knocked on your door.

"Dad! Of course" You rushed to hug him

"I missed you so much" he said as he kissed your head.

"Miss you too"

"You need to come more often" he brushed your hair like he used to when you were little.

"I know, I wish I could"

"Honey, don't forget to try on the dress" Your mom yelled from downstairs and you sight in exhaustion, you loved your mom but spending the holidays with your ex and his family wasn't on your list for a great christmas.

"I know, but Pascale has been really nice to your mom now that you've been away, you know how much she misses you"

"I was expecting to be just with you guys"

"C'mon sweety, this will be fun. Aren't you excited to see a certain Leclerc?" a mischievous smile on your dad's face made your heart fall to your feet.

"What are you talking about?" you almost choked on your own saliva.

"Darling, we all knew about your crush on Lorenzo, it was endearing" you unclenched your jaw when you heard Lorenzo's name. Your dad wasn't wrong tho when you were like 5 or 6 you had a crush on your friend's big brother; it was natural, you used to spend a lot of time at their house, and he was older and very attractive.

"That was a long time a go, dad" You smiled at the memory.

"I know, but it will be nice to spend some time all together, specially after they lost Hervé and our only daughter decided to move so far away" He looked at you with such loving eyes, you could just say yes with your head "Your mom's been quiet for too long, let me go see what that lady is up to" he hugged you again and left your room.

You walked to your closet and took the dress cover bag.

"Are you serious?" you couldn't help to say out loud as you took the red body con dress from the hanger. It was a beautiful, but it being ferrari red felt like life was mocking you. You took a couple of calming breaths as you tried to accept that you were fucked, the only "party" attire in your suitcase wasn't exactly family gathering material and it was too late to go shopping, that dress was your only option.

The next morning before the sun was up you were already in the back of your mom's van on your way to the country side, it was a two hour drive to the Leclerc's cabin, you tried to catch some sleep and fight the jet lag, but anxiety wouldn't let you and before you knew it you were parking next to a red alfa romeo.

"Oh my God!! Y/n!!! darling, what a wonderful surprise" a surprised Pascale rushed to hug you as soon as you got off the van.

"Hi, it's nice to see you too" You hugged her back, you did really like Pascale, she had always been like a second mother.

As she turned to greet your dad, you turned to your mother.

"They didn't knew I was coming?" You asked in a low voice.

"No, I wanted for it to be a cute surprise" Your mom said with a big smile and then turned to hug her best friend.

"Come on in, the boys are going to be so happy to see you" She took you by the shoulders and dragged you inside the house as you pulled your suitcase.

"I wouldn't bet on it" you thought to yourself.

"Boys! come help with the bags!" She yelled as she entered the house "Wait 'till they see you!, want something to drink?" She pulled you inside the kitchen.

"Mom, where are we putting tomorrow's dinner thi..." Charles cut himself off and stopped in the middle of the kitchen entrance when he saw you.

"Mate, move! you're in the way" Arthur pushed Charles to the side walking in with a couple of bags "Y/N!" the youngest Leclerc let the bags fall over the kitchen table and rushed to hug you.

"Hi, Art" You said almost out of breath from the tight hug. "Oh my, you look so grown up!"

"Don't be fooled, it's just the outside" Said Lorenzo as he entered the kitchen with more bags, setting them on the table and pushing Arthur away to hug you "It's so nice to see you"

"Same" You hugged him back.

"This is a Christmas miracle" Lorenzo said as he turned to look at Charles with a cheeky grin on his face, he knew exactly what was happening and he found it incredibly amusing "I'm so glad I didn't skip christmas this year" He whispered as he walked past Charles.

"Shut up" Charles whispered back.

"Hi, Y/n" Charles left the bags on the floor, walked towards you and got his arms around your body as you shily hugged him back, his scent and body heat felt so familiar like it had been just a couple of days since the last time you two had been cuddling in his bed. "It's nice to see you," he said against your ear, his soft warm breath brushing your neck giving you goosebumps.

"It's nice to see you too"

You could feel Lorenzo's sight on you as he was bitting his cheek trying not to burst out laughing at the awkwardness between you two, thank God it was only him who noticed.

All of you finished unloading the van and tried to organize the sleeping situation.

"I can totally sleep on the couch, Pascale, don't worry about it" You said as soon as she offered to give you Charles' room.

"Oh no darling, you're not sleeping on the couch, Charles can sleep with Lorenzo or with Arthur, don't worry about it"

"But..."

"Don't even try, you won't convince her, let me" Said Charles taking your bag from your hand and walked up the stairs.

You followed him to his room. As soon as you walked in a thousand memories rushed trough your mind, during your relationship you had gone up to that cabin a few times, it was the only place you two could be alone.

"Thanks" You said in a low voice when he left your bag on his bed.

"You're welcome" He turned to look at you, you held his gaze a couple of seconds before his beautiful green eyes got your heart rushing a thousand miles and you had to look somewhere else trying to catch your breath, you walked to his closet to hang the dress bag.

"I called you, several times"

"I know" You said as you awkwardly played with the plastic material.

"I wanted to..."

"Mate, mom is calling you" Arthur walked in startling both of you.

"I'll be right there"

"Now" Said Arthur and walked down the stairs.

"We should go" you nervously said and followed Art downstairs.

Your mom, Pascale, Enzo and yourself prepared lunch as your dad talked to Arthur and Charles about the last racing season.

The whole group sat to have lunch, Pascale asked you about your life in New York, your apartment, your job, your friends.

"...and is there a special someone?" your mom's friend asked with a mischievous grin on her face, you noticed how Charles tensed at the question and Lorenzo noticed too.

"Yeah, are you breaking many hearts?" Lorenzo added, softly kicking his brother under the table, Charles flipped him off discretely as he "scratched" his cheek.

"Not as many as you Enzo, are you still dating Adrianne?" You diverted the attention successfully.

After lunch everyone moved to sit outside around the deck fireplace, night came and it started snowing which meant it was time to go to sleep, there was a lot to do the next morning.

You laid in Charles's bed, his scent was as intoxicating as it was soothing, you couldn't lie, you missed that smell, once you even ended up dating a guy just because he used the same cologne.

After an hour of trying to fall asleep and failing miserably at it, you gave up and decided to go prepare yourself a hot cup of tea. You got your robe on and walked down to the kitchen.

You prepared your tea and went to sit outside by the fireplace, the snow had stopped, it was cold but a couple of logs were still burning to give just enough heat to make it enjoyable.

"You're going to catch a cold" Charles' voice scared you, making you spill some hot tea over your hand.

"Ahhh, ouch"

"Shit!" Charles rushed to your side taking some snow from one of the chairs, he kneeled in front of you and placed the snow over your hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't meant to scare you" he turned to look at you.

"It's ok" He kept his hand on yours, and you stood still for a while as the snow melted between your hands.

"I'm sorry" he said again.

"It's ok, it wasn't that hot anymore"

"I'm not talking about the tea" his voice in that low pitch that let you know this was a serious matter.

"Charles, you don't need to... I don't...I'm.." You had no idea what to say, you had rehearsed this conversation a thousand times in your head and had worked amazing responses to every possible apology or complaint, but having him right there, kneeling in front of you with his hand caressing yours was just too much for your brain to process, you couldn't even look at him.

"Listen, I was an asshole, I let stupid ideas get to my head, I did a lot of stupid things, and I've regretted them every single day since the moment you walked out my door."

"Y/n" he took your chin and made you look up at him "I'm sorry, I've missed you so fucking much" your chest moved faster, no coherent thought in your mind.

"It's getting cold, we should go inside" you removed your hand from his and walked directly to his room without looking back. You were overwhelmed, you still had feelings for him, but it had been too long, you had a life in New York. It broke your heart to think that maybe you had wasted your only chance to be with him.

It was around 3 or 4 am when you finally cried yourself to sleep.

A soft knock on the door woke you up.

"Come in" you sat on the bed and tried to fix your hair.

"Good morning" Lorenzo walked in the room, a tray in his hands with a cup of coffee and a couple pancakes.

"Hi, thanks" You took the tray from his hands and took a small sip of coffee, it was so good.

"You're welcome, I figured that after staying up late you could use some breakfast in bed" You looked at him confused.

"My window it's right above the deck"

"Oh, sorry about that"

"Don't worry about it. But, he really is sorry, you have no idea how many times he begged for me to call you, he knew you would answer my calls, but to be honest I didn't think he deserved you then"

"And now?"

"I've been to New York, it ain't that cool, and I would love to see you around Monaco and the tracks more often" He winked at you and walked out of the room.

You had your breakfast in bed as you tried to figure out what the fuck were you supposed to do with what you felt and what Lorenzo had told you. It was almost noon, you had a shower and finally walked downstairs to help with the Christmas preparations for that evening.

The smell coming from the kitchen was amazing, your mom and Pascale were the greatest cooks you've ever met, actually, their food was one of the things you missed the most after you moved.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I ordered some bread from the town and I think we might need a couple more wine bottles" Pascale said as she looked at a message on her phone.

"I can go pick it up" You offered, you were used to being questioned by your mom every time you called home, but now there were two of them bombarding you with a ton of questions, making you feel a bit overwhelmed, so a lonely trip to the village seemed like a great way to take a breather.

"Darling, I don't know, you haven't driven on this side of the road for a while, and the road might be snowed" If only your mother knew how many times you had taken Charles's car out for a spin and done pretty reckless stunts.

"I can drive you" Charles offered walking in the kitchen.

"Yes, let Charles drive you" Great, it had gone from bad to worse.

"But...ok" You knew trying to convince your mom to let you go on your own was a lost cause and saying no to the offer would seem weird and offensive, you took your jacket and walked outside.

You both were so nervous, the only sound in the car was the music coming from the speakers, you couldn't help to look at him out of the corner of your eye, he was tense as he kept a tight grip on the steering wheel and you found it incredibly attractive, one of the things you enjoyed the most when dating Charles was looking at him as he was driving, the way his hands worked the steering wheel and his sight focused on the road was something that turned you on.

You finally got to the village and walked inside a small store, you split the list of things and walked your own way to get them all.

"Y/n?" someone called your name behind you.

"Oh my, Ed, hi!" You hugged the guy standing behind you, he had been one of your uni classmates.

"It's so nice to see you, how's everything, how's New York?"

"It's good, how are you?"

"Same old, same old, how long are you going to be here? We should go get a coffee or something"

"Y/n" Charles spoke before you could answer "Two chardonnays should be good? we have 3 merlots at home" He said showing the two wine bottles he was holding in his left hand, as his right arm grabbed you nonchalantly by the waist.

"Oh, sorry mate, hi, Charles" Charles left the wine bottles in the shopping cart and extended his hand to shake Ed's but kept his arm around you.

"Hi, no worries, you are... Charles Leclerc"

"Yeah"

"Wow, uhm, big fan"

"Thanks" Charles smiled at your friend, from the outside this all seemed innocent and nice, but you knew he was marking his territory. "We need to hurry, we still need to stop by the bakery" He said looking at you in a way that made your heart skip a beat, it had been so long since he had looked at you in that way.

"I should go too, I still got some presents to buy, it was nice to see you y/n, and nice to meet you Charles, good luck on the next season"

"Thanks, mate, appreciated" Charles shook his hand, and as you took a step forward to kiss your friend goodbye, his arm never left your body. When Ed was out of sight you turned to look at Charles inquisitively as he took the spices from your hand and placed them in the tiny shopping cart.

"Let's go" He pushed the cart as if nothing had happened and walked to the register.

"Stop looking at me like that" he finally said as you were on the drive back to the cabin.

"That was low"

"I don't know what you're talking about" he faked innocence.

"Make him think we're together, that was low"

"You went with it, didn't you?" You instantly blushed at his comment.

"I did it just so you wouldn't look like a fool"

A soft breathy laugh left his mouth as he turned to stop in a hiking trail parking lot.

"What are you doing?" you asked confused as he turned off the car.

"Come" he got off the car, confused you did as he said, he leaned against the hood of the car and you walked towards him.

"Charles?" You asked as you stood a safe distance from him, your arms crossed over your chest.

"We need to talk"

"Charles, please, I..." You rubbed your eyes in slight despair, you were pretty much in the middle of nowhere there was no escaping from him this time.

"Please, just listen to me, if when I'm done you don't want to talk about it anymore, we'll get in the car and we never talk about this ever again, but right now, just listen to me, ok?" his beautiful green eyes made you weak and you couldn't say no.

"Ok"

"Y/n, I really am sorry, I swear nothing happened with any of those girls, I never cheated on you..."

"Charles..."

"Shut... up!" His voice was a soft growl as he took you by your arms and pulled you a little closer to him, you stared into his eyes, frozen "Please, listen to me, I know I've said I'm sorry like a million times in the last 24 hours, but I really feel like I owe you so many apologies. I was an asshole, I could try to explain myself but at the end of the day I was young and stupid, and I let this "famous driver" shit get to my head, I lost myself, and on the way, I ended up losing the most amazing and wonderful woman ever. I pushed you away and you had all right to kick me out of your life, but please, if there's just one small part of you that would like to try this again, please, I'm begging you, just give me one more chance, please"

You felt your heart rush, you had thought about this moment a million times, and 90% of them the answer was negative, not because you didn't love him, but because you could see how happy he was without you, winning races, taking pictures with fans, partying with the rest of the drivers, having the freedom he seemed to miss when he was with you.

"Y/N?"

"How do I know this isn't going to end up badly? You've been single for the last 5 years, are you sure you want to give up all you have?"

"I'm not the same idiot you left 5 years ago, I swear, I don't need anyone but you, I don't WANT anyone but you" He pulled you closer, his arms around your waist in a tight hug as you keep your arms crossed over your chest trying to put as much distance between you two. "I know I'm asking for a lot, you have a life somewhere else and I swear I wouldn't be asking for another chance if I didn't actually mean it, I swear on everything that's sacred for me, that I'm going to do my best to make this work and make you the happiest girl in the world, but please give me another chance"

"Are you sure this isn't just the holiday blues? what if I hadn't come this Christmas, would you feel the same?" Your rational side fighting hard against the side that just wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.

"Do you really think I just came up with this?" A soft smile escaped his lips as he unhooked one of his arms from around your waist and took his cell phone from his jacket, he clicked around for a bit, then turned the screen towards you as he slowly scrolled through the screen, there were dozens of undelivered messages, you could only catch a few words but most of them were of how much he missed you and begging for you to forgive him and come back. "The last one is from last week, I've missed you every day for five years"

You turned to look at him, this movement from your head making the tears that flooded your eyes fall down your cheeks. He got his phone inside his jacket and cleaned your tears with his fingers.

"I love you, y/n, and you can say no, I don't want to force you to do anything, you don't even have to give me an answer right now, but just think about it, ok?"

You couldn't talk and you just nodded your head.

"Good, now let's go, it's getting dark" He leaned in and kissed your lips so softly that if your eyes had been closed you would have doubted it ever happen. He led you to the passenger seat, opened the door for you, and then went to get inside the car.

You drove in silence again, you knew your answer but were you making the right decision?

As he pulled next to your parent's van you fixed yourself as much as you could.

"Darling, what took you so long?" Pascale walked towards you to help with the bags.

"Sorry, I found an old friend and caught up talking" You excused yourself before Charle could say anything.

As the boys helped with setting the table and bringing in more wood for the fireplace, you couldn't help to notice how good was the relationship between your dad and the Leclerc boys, he had turned into their father figure and it filled your heart, you knew this kind of relationship between your dad and any other guy in your life was going to be impossible. Tears started forming in your eyes again.

"All done" you said setting the last couple of cookies on the cooling rack "I'm going to get dressed" You quickly removed the apron and rushed upstairs before anyone could notice your watery eyes.

As you walked inside the bedroom you saw a small red box on the bed, you took it and opened it slowly to find a beautiful gold tuberose necklace and a handwritten note inside.

"I've had this for years and I finally got the chance to give it to you, I remember that night you called our love a "Tuberose love" because it seemed it only bloomed hidden in the dark, but this is a gold tuberose, it can bloom day or night, as long as it's around your neck.

I love you, always,

Charles"

You cried and held the beautiful necklace in your hand.

You showered and got ready, you looked at yourself in the mirror, the red dress looked better than you ever imagined, maybe that Ferrari red wasn't a bad idea after all, maybe that color could grow on you again. You got the necklace around your neck, the gold piece shining perfectly over the fabric.

"Come on kids, it's time" Your dad yelled from downstairs, you took a last deep breath and walked down to meet everyone.

Charles' eyes lit up as soon as he saw you enter the dining room, his sight focused on the gold detail hanging from your neck and he couldn't help to smile, he pulled the chair by his side and gestured you to take a seat next to him.

You sat by his side as everyone else took their places, he looked around and you took his hand under the table, he turned to look at you and you noticed his eyes were red as if he was about to cry.

"All good?" you whispered worried

"Never been better" he smiled and gave your hand a little squeeze.

You had dinner, the best Christmas dinner to date.

It was close to 3 am when the parents decided it had been enough for them and left for bed, Lorenzo and Arthur went to get some more wood and Charles took the chance to sit next to you on the living room floor, putting a blanket over your bodies as he placed his arm around your shoulders.

"Thanks" you said taking the necklace and looking at it.

"You're welcome, I'm glad you liked it" He kissed your hair.

"I love it... not as much as I love you, tho" You finally said, his face turned fast to look at you as you turned to look at him.

"So... you...uhm" He stutter

"Did I just make Charles Leclerc stutter?" you smiled teasingly.

"Shut up" he said as he took your face and pulled you in for a kiss, that kiss you had waited for so long.

"What the hell?" Arthur yelled as he dropped the logs on the living room floor.

"Well, this time it can't be a secret, this one can't keep his mouth shut" Said Lorenzo leaving the logs next to the fireplace.

"This time? why am I always the last one to find this shit out!?, You have a lot of explaining to do" Said Arthur inquisitively as he sat across from you.

Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec

[bitchlessdino]

Helllooo, it's been a while since I've last graced your asks with my nasty thoughts 😂 I'm going back to the loml, Joshua, with this ask.

So there's a video of him going around saying "kaya mo yan, baby" and "you can do it, baby". Now the latter message is what I'm so obsess with because of HOW HE SAYS IT.

IMAGINE MEAN JOSHUA. LIKE I KNOW HE'S A GENTLEMAN BUT JUST IMAGINE MEAN JOSHUA.

You're shaking and your mind is no longer in the right place because of the fact that it has been your third time finishing for the night and it seems like Joshua doesn't have any plans on ending it there. You try to close your legs but Joshua uses both of his hands to keep them open. Before he brings his face close to your heat, he meets your eyes and says, "one last round. you can do it, baby."

Pairing: joshua x afab!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 950

Tags: e2l, perfect joshua, reporter!reader, oral (recieving), mean joshua, drabble

author note: hi im so tired, idk what i wrote, i was in a horny daze

Joshua knows how people see him. He donates to charity, is a spokesperson for his community’s youth, and damn well the most eligible bachelor for anyone’s child. He’s a role model in his community and perfect in bystanders' eyes. There isn’t an apparent thing wrong with him on paper. You thought that at first too, until you realized that facade that is.

You learned quickly that he loves to put on a show. He lets others see a side of him more appealing, family-friendly to put it in simple terms. It was when he got you alone he was someone else entirely different. He’s far from the rumors or what the local news stations report behind closed doors. 

You would know being a low-scale town reporter, writing for one of the least popular chronicles around in these parts. Whether it was regarding the local dumpster fire of a diner’s rat infestation, or city hall’s totalitarianism in the works, you’d catch it with a flash of your camera or the scribble of your notepad. This week's latest was Joshua Hong: the town’s golden child. Well, he is not the golden child everyone believes him to be; you found that out rather quickly.

“That can’t be all you got.”

You were panting against the bed frame, forearm over your sweaty forehead and closed eyes in exhaustion, trying to recover from the several hours of exerting yourself in his submission. “S-shua, I can’t.”

“That’s not what you said when you said you’d beat me under any and all circumstances.”

That was your mistake for thinking you’d be right.

You took the first steps in gathering evidence, anything to point in the right direction. You thought you found it until he trailed after it. When you pushed, he pulled. When you took the road less traveled, he followed. He was somehow always a step ahead of you, and you despised him for it. He was playing dirty somehow, you felt it in your gut. He to have heard of your investigation. That meant he had eyes everywhere. It’s what kept him afloat.

“I overheard your convo with your little reporter buddies at Blueberry House Cafe yesterday. Is your pathetic little column embarrassing enough?”

He confronted your lurking finally at some point, given you took your time and energy to make it all the way to his house in doing so, and willingly let you inside strange enough. You clutch the messenger on your shoulder, staring at him straight on, breaking a bad sweat. He returns your glare, not so much of resentment or disdain, but almost one of interest. 

You scoffed. “Yeah, then you also heard I hate your fucking guts.”

Being caught in the act didn't mean you’d back down, it mean you had to push harder.

“Well,” he trods to you methodically, staring down at you with unadulterated confidence, and leveling your gazes as he presses you up against the wall behind you. His breath was warm and candy apple scented, too tempting to ignore, “I’m about to rearrange your guts right now.”

You take a beat, falling back on the wall with matching the aloofness he exudes. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Anything as long as it gets you begging for my mercy.” He deeply chuckles under his breath.

You should’ve been scared by the fact you were so close, infamous murderer or sex fiend, he could be on the news for something nefarious thanks to you. However, you succumb to your own internally hormonal desires, taking on the challenge of the very man you promise to expose.

“Then I’ll have it be under any and all circumstances that I’ll overcome it. Overcome you.”

“Baby…Cumming is all that you’ll be doing.”

And here you were eating your words and swallowing down his.

The man eats like a common animal, lapping up every drop in sight, coating his thick and wet tongue in your arousal skillfully. It made you clench your legs in desperation, begging for a minute of rest after he unwillingly retracts himself from you, his name burning on your tongue. He takes all the strength of his arms to pry you open, his girthy fingers and palms on either thigh to pull you apart.

Your throat runs dry, digging the back of your head into his pillows. “Three times,” you’d repeat.

“And what’s one more? Or two? Or five?” he chuckles to himself.

You whine, having hardly the energy to resist his advances. He grips you still, his face so close to your tired heat, that he basks in its familiarity, your release still fresh and seeping out of you like ambrosia. He meets your eyes, insatiably hungry. 

"One last round. You can do it, baby."

Before you can fight it on its own last time, his tongue hits the taste of your warmth once more, dragging it in stripes, and sucking down your clit like he would a straw. Your fatigue eyes flutter and your voice soon embarrassingly relentless, moaning from the top of your lungs. His lips then attach to your core, blurring the boundaries of his mouth and your pussy, ultimately becoming one.

You wretchedly squirm in the process of your overstimulation, your stomach practically churning like a hot pot while your heart pounded in your ears. He loops his arms around your legs, and squeezes your thighs between his biceps, digging his tongue deep and flicking faster inside you. His ears perk at your violent groans, languidly moving his mouth to see how much louder you can really get, getting you to regret ever doubting him, ever underestimating.

“Have..mercy…” You gasp.

“That’s right,” He whispers tauntingly in your heat, “You’re at my mercy.”

[chickensarentcheap]

Lost and Found - Chapter 30

Fandom: Extraction

Pairing: Tyler Rake and Esme Drummond (OFC. You do not have to read the original series to understand this fic)

Warnings: slight profanity

It's a lot of dialogue. Sorry :(

Tagging: @tragiclyhip @themaradwrites @secretaryunpaid @youflickedtooharddamnit @munstysmind @karimac @ninjasawakenedmystar @thebejeweledwatercat @alisbackalleybbq @asirensrage @residentdormouse @fanficanatic-tw @kmc1989 @arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @occommunity

Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43179357/chapters/139296199

My tag list is OPEN. Just let me know if you’d lke to be added :D

****

“I figure in a couple of days we’ll go into town. Get you and Millie all the things you still need.”

His voice is raw and husky; laced with both sleep and contentment as it rumbles deep within his chest. Scarred and misshapen knuckles repeatedly skim the length of her spine; their naked bodies pressed tightly together, caught in a mess of rumpled sheets and tangled limbs. Spent and sated; droplets of perspiration littering their skin and gathering at their temples and the napes of their necks. Their lovemaking had been uncharacteristically slow and tender; a combination of reconnecting and worshipping one another’s bodies and his desire to not cause any more discomfort as she continues her recovery.

“It’s a pretty lengthy list.” Her head rests on his chest; eyes closed as the fingers of one hand lazily trace the tattoo that graces his ribs. “We didn’t exactly come with much. Lots of things were left behind. At Alessio’s.”

“Doesn’t matter how much there is. I don’t care how many lists there are. Whatever you guys need…fuck, whatever you guys WANT…we get. Simple as that.”

“You’re going to create a hell of a predicament for yourself,” she chides and repeatedly brushes the tip of her nose along his collarbone. “People are going to think you hooked up with a gold digger.”

“Yeah, right,” Tyler chuckles, palm briefly lingering at the small of her back, calloused fingertips drifting over the curve of each buttock. “Because there’s just so much gold to dig for.”

“You know what people are like. They talk. It’s what they do.”

“I don’t give a shit. You should know that by now. Besides, you stuck around when I didn’t even have anything to offer you. Just tons of baggage and a shack in the outback. I think it’s safe to say you’re not with me for money.”

“Of course, I’m not with you for money.” She presses a series of kisses along his jaw. “I’m with you for your body.”

“As ancient and crumbling as it is?”

“It’s beautiful.” Lightly scraping the fingernails on one hand down his chest, she speaks between kisses and gentle nibbles on the side of his neck. “So…so…so beautiful.”

“And fat.”

She laughs against his Adam’s apple. “I did not call you fat. I called you thick. And I said it with love and admiration. And insane amounts of animalistic lust.”

His fingertips glide across her shoulders, then down the backs of her arms.“My favourite kind.”

“Mine too.” She rests her head in the nook between neck and shoulder, nose pressed against the long-healed bullet wound in the side of his throat. Her eyes closed as she reaches up to comb a hand through his longer strands of hair; allowing them to slip between her fingers before repeatedly curling and twisting sections around her index and middle fingers.

“Whatever you and Millie need, we’ll get it taken care of. Doesn’t matter how long the list is. Gotta take care of my girls, ya?”

“I like how that sounds. ‘Your girls’. There’s something so sweet about it. So…romantic. In a Tyler sort of way.”

“I can’t believe you’d call me romantic and sweet in the same sentence. What did I ever do to deserve that?”

“Listen, I know you have a reputation to uphold, but you DO have your moments. Where you’re just the softest, loveliest, cutest man on earth. You bring your own brand of romance to the table. And it’s perfect. For me, anyway.”

“Ever thought maybe you’re the one that brings all that out? That I’m not like that with everyone?”

“I already know you’re not. In the same way that I know how lucky I am. I get ALL of you. The REAL you. You’ve never hidden that from me. Not even in Dhaka.”

“I’ve never felt a reason to hide anything. Even back then. Something told me you were good people. That I could trust you. And believe me, I hadn’t felt that way about anyone in a long time. If I ever even did.”

“You trust Nik. And Yaz.”

“That’s different. That’s pretty much all business. Related to the job. I know that they always have my back. That they’ll step up if things go bad.”

“You trust them with me, don’t you? And Millie?”

“Not in the way I trust myself with the two of you.”

“That’s because you know what you’re capable of. You don’t second guess your skills or the things you can do. And you’ve always been protective of me. EXTREMELY protective. OVERLY, at times. Now add Millie to the mix…”

“I know that no one can take care of things the way I can; that the two of you are safest with me. Because I won’t fuck up. I won’t let that happen. Someone even thinks of coming near you and Millie, it’ll be the last thing they do, believe me.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. That everything just stays calm and peaceful. That we can just let Nik and her people handle things in New York while we do our own thing here. I just want to concentrate on us. And Millie. On being a family.”

“We’ll just take it one day at a time. Concentrate on getting past what happened.”

“Do you mean in New York City? Or me taking off and never telling you about Millie?”

“Look at me…” Pushing a hand into her hair, he gently tugs on the dark tresses; encouraging her to lift her head from his chest. “...I forgive you. I know you’re having a hard time accepting that, but I do. Yeah, sometimes I’m still pissed and sometimes it hurts like hell. But I DO forgive you.”

“Just like that? Just so easily?”

“I love you. I never STOPPED loving you. And you had your reasons; for making the decisions that you did. I don’t pretend to completely understand them. Not right now, anyway. But one day I will, I’m sure.”

“I really did do it to protect you. I didn’t want anything happening to you., Tyler. And I never would have forgiven myself; if I permanently lost you because of a mistake I made. It just sucks that in the end, all I did was hurt you.”

“That’s not entirely true though, is it? I mean, I AM alive. Nothing happened to me. And things would have gone really bad if the High Table had shown up while I was there. So you DID do the right thing. If you hadn’t left, we wouldn’t be here right now. And Millie wouldn’t even exist. They wouldn’t have cared. If you were pregnant. It wouldn’t have stopped them from killing you.”

“I don’t even like thinking about that. Her NOT being here. She’s everything I ever wanted. And everything I don’t deserve.”

“There you go selling yourself short again. You deserve so much, Esme. You’re not the monster you think you are. Far from it.”

“Boy, deja vu. I seem to remember saying those EXACT same words. More than once.”

“And I learned, didn’t I? It finally got through to me.”

“You’re a lot better, that’s for sure. You’re not filled with as much self-hatred as you used to be. You know what that means, don’t you?”

“What?”

“You really can teach an old dog new tricks.”

Tyler smirks. “You are such a bitch.”

Esme laughs when he aggressively slaps and pinches her ass, then gives a content sigh when he kisses her; long and languid and deep, naked limbs sliding along one another and against the cool, wrinkled sheets. Her breath soft against his skin when she once more rests her head on the centre of his chest; her fingers drawing continuous circles around his navel while his repeatedly comb through her hair.

*****

He finds himself teetering on the edge of sleep when he feels her move against him; placing a forearm across his torso, her chin resting upon it as she peers up at him.

Pressing a kiss to her nose, his hand slides to the nape of her neck. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“How have things been? With you?”

“You mean in general, or…?”

“In the last two, three years. That’s when you started scaling back on things, right? Trying your hand at a more normal life.”

“Nothing’s been normal about my life. Not for a long time. And especially not since you left.”

“I mean stuff like firefighting. And starting your business. How HAVE things been?”

“Guess I overestimated your spying abilities,” he teases and skims his knuckles across her cheek. “I thought you knew everything there was to know.”

“My spying stopped at your personal life. I knew the basics; the firefighting and how you started your own business. To be honest, I think I was scared to venture past those things.”

Cradling her cheek in his palm, he brushes the pad of his thumb over her lips. “Scared? Of what?”

“Finding out you were with someone. I know that sounds pretty stupid, considering I’m the one who fucked everything up. You had every right to go on with your life; to meet someone and fall in love and everything else that comes after that.”

“I was already in love. With YOU. And that wasn’t going to change.”

“Were you with other people? Other than Delaney.”

“Maybe in the biblical sense.”

“THAT I expected. For you to go back to sowing your wild oats all over the place.”

“Wasn’t all over the place. Just the vast majority of the northern territory. Well, the western part of it, anyway.”

“Oh, lovely. Does this mean I’m going to go to the grocery store and meet up with all kinds of women you’ve bumped uglies with?”

“I never pissed in my own front yard. It would have been too fucking awkward; running into a bunch of one-night stands.”

“I am marrying a whore,” she laughs, and presses a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. Briefly capturing his bottom lip between teeth when she pulls away.

“I promise you won’t run into any of my conquests while picking Millie up at school or grabbing something at Maccas.”

“Good. Because the last thing I want is to be sharing stories about your dick and its abilities while I’m in line at the store, waiting to buy shit tickets. “

He arches a quizzical brow. “Shit tickets?”

“Toilet paper.”

“And you say us Aussies have weird slang.”

“You know how long it took me to get used to the words you’d use in conversation? Or even your accent for that matter? It wasn’t that easy; trying to decipher exactly WHAT you were saying half the time. I remember how strong it got; when we were living in The Kimberley. I guess it was from being home so much.”

“Think it was easy getting used to you? You’ve got a pretty wicked accent yourself.”

“I most certainly do not.”

“You do.”

“I’m from Colorado. People from Colorado do NOT have accents.”

Raising his head from his pillow, he presses a kiss to her brow. “Trust me, babe. You do.”

“So other than Delaney…” A fingertip drifts over the scar that runs over the bridge of his nose. “...it was just one-night stands? No relationships?”

“No relationships.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to be in one.”

“Didn’t want to be in one or couldn’t find anyone worthy enough to be in one with?”

“A mix of both, maybe. I didn’t want anyone else, Esme. Not in that way. A serious way. I wanted YOU. And if it meant I waited forever or you never found your back…”

“You would have found someone eventually. Someone that you’d fall madly in love with. Marry, have a family…”

“No. I wouldn’t have. Because that is everything I wanted with YOU. Not anyone else.”

“You don’t think you could have learned to love her? Delaney? That you could have moved on and…”

“How could I move on when I was still in love with you? When I always would be in love with you. And why are we even having this conversation? This is supposed to be the start. Of everything. Of US. And talking about this…”

“I’m just curious. Trying to fill in the gaps, I guess. Because I love you and I want to know what I missed. Even if it makes me uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t miss much, believe me.”

“Do you like it? Firefighting?”

“It’s a job. The pay’s decent. Got a little bit of edge. Keeps me busy, at least.”

“You’ve never been one to sit still for very long. Not that surprising you’d thrive at something that keeps you on your toes all the time.”

“I don’t know how much it keeps me on my toes. Not the busiest area. We don’t get a lot of action. I do get a lot of cats out of trees, though.” He gives a playful wink. “And ladies love a guy in uniform, so…”

“I’ve yet to see you in uniform, but I bet you’re hot as fuck. Especially in your turn-out gear.”

“I didn’t think you’d be into that kind of thing. Seeing as your brother is a firefighter.”

“Believe me, Tae. Nothing about you could ever remind me of my brother.”

His eyes close as her fingertips explore the scar on the left side of his forehead and the second one lower on his cheekbone. It’s a form of intimacy as its purest and most innocent of roots; the soft and tender touch of a lover who adores and worships you. Who knows every inch of your body; every blemish, every imperfection. And it’s a closeness…a level of trust and vulnerability…that he’s never experienced with anyone but her.

“What about the business? I assume that’s doing pretty good.”

“Better than I ever thought it would. Got a lot of regular clients, and more and more are coming aboard all the time.”

“Do you have people that work for you?”

“I have a few full-time guys. That deal with the heavy-duty stuff; concentrate on the real manual labour. And a handful of students who help out on weekends and during school breaks. They do small repairs, landscaping stuff, things like that.”

“Who’s in charge while you’re on your little sabbatical?”

“Koen’s my right-hand man. The guy that I trust with everything. Things are being taken care of. I’m not worried about it.”

“I knew you’d find something you’d be amazing at. You always liked working with your hands; doing your own repairs on your truck, putting up the walls and installing the new windows in that little shack of yours.”

“Of OURS.”

“Millie’s really going to get on you, you know. About that treehouse. And she’s definitely going to want to be your little helper. She loves to create. Build things. She’s got a real talent for things like that.”

“I’ll have to get her own stuff. Some tools and a toolbelt, little hardhat, some steel-toed boots.”

“She’ll love that. And probably drive us completely nuts trying to fix everything around here.”

“I’ll start her out slow. Small projects. Birdhouses, flower boxes, some planters for the garden. I promise I’ll keep her away from the power tools.”

“You’re going to have to really watch out for her. Because that child? YOUR child? Isn’t just headstrong, she is completely fearless. I wonder where she gets THAT from?”

“Her mother.”

“Hardly.”

“Well, it’s not from me, that’s for sure. ‘Cause there’s plenty of things I’m afraid of. And they all seem to involve you.”

Sighing, she presses a series of soft kisses along the scar that mars his left shoulder. “I know it did a real number on you. The accident. Seeing me like that. It’s definitely bothering you way more than you’re letting on.”

“I’m not shy. I admit it fucked me right up. All the things I’ve been through? All the people I’ve gone up against? I’ve never…EVER…been that scared. Seeing you like that? Not knowing if you were alive or dead? And if you were alive, was someone going to show up to finish things off? That was…rough.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m really proud of you. For how you handled things. Not just with getting me out of there and making sure I survived, but everything AFTER that. How you just took control. Stepped up. You were banged up and exhausted and hurting and you did what you wanted to do. For Millie. Just focused on her. Took care of her.”

“Why wouldn’t I have done all that? She’s my baby, too. My little girl.”

“It was all still so fresh. So new. You’d barely had a chance to catch your breath. Coming face to face with me, finding out you were a dad again. You had your entire world turned upside down. You…”

“No. I didn’t. I got my entire world BACK.”

His honesty is raw. Real. Powerful. Succeeding in both taking her breath away and bringing tears to her eyes.

*****

“So is this where I get to ask questions now?” His fingers move in slow, methodical circles on the small of her back. “When it comes to what you’ve been doing the last five years?”

“What more is there to know? Didn’t we cover all the bases?”

“Not quite.”

“There’s not much more to tell. Not anything of interest, anyway.”

“You didn’t work or anything? What did you do with your spare time?”

“I picked up jobs here and there. For Nik. Things I could just do from home. Background checks, basic research and tracking people down. Nothing that would draw a lot of attention. So I could stay under the radar. Or try to, at least.”

“Well, you did a pretty good job hiding from me, that’s for sure.”

“We’ve talked about this. I wasn’t hiding from you. Not intentionally, anyway. It was all so complicated. I had to protect Millie. Both of her parents were still in the life. In some way. And we’d both burned a lot of bridges and made a lot of enemies. I couldn’t take the chance that someone would come after her. I just couldn’t.”

“There were other reasons, too. You know there were.”

“Selfish ones. Staying away had nothing to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with me. You know that. We’ve been through it how many times now? It was never about you, Tyler. Not in the way you think it was. At first, it was about protecting you. Then Millie. And finally, it became about myself. Because…to make a long story short… I was a stupid, insecure little girl.”

“You’re not any of those things. It was just a messy situation. All around.” Tangling his fingers in her hair, he pulls her towards him, lips meeting the bridge of her nose. “What else did you do? Other than helping out Nik?”

“Just took care of Millie, mostly. Devoted myself to being a mom. I joined a couple of those mom and baby groups; just to get out of the house and socialize and try and make friends. When she was a few months old, I even signed us up for yoga classes and water aerobics. Millie always loved the water. She was always so comfortable in it. Confident, even.”

“She’s gonna love it here, then. Trips to the beach, being able to swim in the ocean.”

“Except for the fact the thought of an encounter with a shark will be exciting to her. She’ll probably pray for it to happen. I am telling you, that girl is fearless. She’s so much like you, Tyler. More than just the physical. There’s so much of you in her. And it was kinda bittersweet, you know? Seeing you every time I looked at her but knowing I couldn’t actually be with you.”

“I mean, you could have been. But…”

“But I was a stupid little bitch. Like I said. That’s something that will eat at me for the rest of my life, believe me.”

“I don’t want it to. And I’m sorry I bring it up so much. Make you talk about it. Explain yourself. That’s not fair.”

“If anyone has the right to bring it up, it’s you.”

“I don’t want to be that kind of person. I want to be better than that. For you. And Millie.”

“I remember the first time you told me that. How I made you want to be a better man.”

“It’s true. You do.”

“I never considered you a bad man in the first place. A good man who made bad decisions, yes. But bad to your very core? Not even close.”

“You always have been full of shit,” He teases, and curls an arm around her neck, drawing her into a long, deep kiss. His lips against her temple when she settles her head on his shoulder, her eyes closed as his fingertips repeatedly graze up and down her bicep. “Tell me about the guy.”

Her hand slips lazily across his collarbone, down his chest, briefly settling on his stomach before travelling back up again. Finally coming to rest on the side of his neck, nails lightly and repeatedly scratching against the skin. “What guy?”

“The one you dated. In New York. The cop. Or detective. Or whatever the hell he was.”

Esme raises her head from his shoulder, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. “How did you know about him?”

“A little birdie told me.”

“A little birdie, huh? What did you bribe her with? Two scoops of mint chocolate chip instead of one? Unlimited Bluey viewing on your cell phone?”

“I promised her a Porsche when she turned sixteen.”

“I wouldn’t put anything past you. You’re going to spoil her rotten.”

“I didn’t have to promise her anything. She just offered the information.”

“Out of nowhere? She just suddenly started talking about my personal life?”

“I MAY have asked her about it.”

“Mmmhmmm.”

“Okay, so I did. I DID ask her. If you’d ever had a boyfriend. I was curious. I wanted to know.”

“Curious, huh?”

“And a bit jealous.”

“Just a bit?”

“A lot.”

“Why are you like this? When it comes to me and other men?”

“Like what? What am I like?”

“Self-conscious. You’ve always been. Even at the very beginning of things. And believe me…” Slipping out of bed, she stretches languorously before padding towards the dresser; a pair of plaid pyjama bottoms and tank top folded neatly on top. “...you do not come across as someone who would be self-conscious.”

“Did I say you could get out of bed? That you could put clothes on? There’s a strict ‘no clothes allowed’ rule in this room. Once that door closes…”

“I know what Millie’s like; if she wakes up in the middle of the night. She’ll come looking for me. And the last thing we need is her seeing both of us in all our naked glory.” Climbing into her pyjamas, she tosses his discarded sweats in his direction. “And don’t do that. Deflect. Answer my question.”

“I’m old.” He grimaces as he swings his legs over the side of the bed, moving slowly as he puts one leg into the pants, followed by the other. Knees cracking when he stands to pull them up. “ My brain is mush. I already forgot what the question was.”

“I asked why you are the way you are. When it comes to me and other men. Why do you always get so bent out of shape about it?”

“I don’t get bent out of shape.”

“You do.” Removing her hair out of the back of her tank top, she moves back to bed; fluffing and moulding her pillows and arranging them to her specification. “And I don’t get it. There’s nothing for you to get prickly about.”

“Like you don’t get prickly about my ex-wife. Or Delaney.”

“Being curious is not the same as being prickly. What is your hang-up? When it comes to me and other people?” She gives a content sigh when she slips back into bed, settling her head on a pillow before rolling onto her side to face him. “It’s not like any of them are still in the picture. And even if they were, they still wouldn’t be a threat to you.”

“I don’t see them as a threat. I know what I bring to the table. It’s not about feeling threatened.”

“What’s it about then?”

“I just don’t like it. You being with other guys.”

“I mean, I was married, remember? I’ve had boyfriends. And girlfriends, for that matter.”

“Since you left?”

“I’m talking about throughout my entire life. And did you honestly think I wouldn’t date? Or at least try to? That I would have just spent the last five years completely alone?”

“You know how you said you were okay with me going on with my life? Meeting someone else? Falling in love, getting married, all that shit?”

Esme nods.

“I’m not that gracious. Not by a long shot. I didn’t want you with anyone else.”

“For the rest of my life?”

“Well...yeah.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” She reaches for him. “Come to bed.”

“So was this guy the real deal? Someone you could have moved on with? Gotten your ‘always and forever, happily ever after’ with? Totally forget about me and…”

“Tyler, I was never going to forget about you. I carried your child inside of me. Gave birth to her. She looks just like you. Kinda hard to forget you when I’m looking at your clone every damn day. Add the fact that I was still in love with you and always would be into the mix…”

“Would you have moved on with him? Gotten married, had more kids? All of that?”

“All of that was what I wanted with you. ONLY you. So no, none of that would have ever happened. I didn’t want that life with anyone else. Just you. And if that meant I never got any of that, oh well. Now…” She pats the empty spot beside her. “...come to bed. Please? I’ll answer whatever questions you have., but just come to bed. Because you standing there like that? It’s making me incredibly anxious.”

He relents. Laying on his side with her back pressed against his front and forearm draped across her collarbone. And he presses a kiss to the back of her head before resting his cheek against hers. “What was his name?”

“Don. His name was Don. And he was a detective. Homicide.”

“How the hell did you ever meet him?”

“I worked a small job for Nik. Nothing serious. I had to find my way into the main evidence locker at One Police Plaza and steal some papers related to an old case.”

“What the fuck….?”

“Someone hired Nik because an old money laundering and embezzlement case they were involved in was going to be reopened. And if that happened, it was going to cause a big old shitstorm; he had some big-name contacts and clients of his own that would be exposed. Some really well-known people, too. Politicians, lawyers, judges. And if all that got out…”

“Heads would roll. Most likely literally.”

“Exactly. So Nik and Yaz created an entire persona for me. I had the credentials; photo identification, passport, fake driver’s licence.”

“Who were you supposed to be?”

“An agent with Homeland Security.”

“Jesus Christ. And you don’t consider THAT serious?”

“You know, for such a huge police department with apparently the best security in the country, they were sure easy to fool. It was like taking candy from a baby. I was in and out of there in ten minutes. Not even.”

“I don’t know whether to be impressed or pissed off. That you even put yourself in a situation like that. Especially with Millie in the picture. If you’d gotten caught…”

“But I didn’t. Well, not until about six months later. But that comes further in the story.”

“So the cop…”

“We met in the elevator. I was running to catch it and he held the door open for me.”

Tyler scoffs. “What a gentleman.”

She scowls over her shoulder. “I thought you promised you wouldn’t get prickly.”

“I’m not getting prickly. I just…”

“YOU asked,” she reminds him. “You wanted to know these things, right? You have questions. I’m just answering them. Do you REALLY want to hear this stuff? Or do you just want to be angry about something?”

“I’m not prickly. Or angry. I’m jealous.”

“Of what?”

“Of anyone that even looks at you the wrong way.”

“Oh for God’s sake…”

“I was never like this before. I never used to give a shit about this kind of thing. I didn’t care how many people my ex dated or fucked before me. Because I was always so far up my own ass that I knew I was better than anyone that came before me. Sometimes I miss that guy.”

“The guy you were before me.”

“I was a drunk and a drug addict before you. So, no.”

“You weren’t ALWAYS that way. You didn’t always have those issues.”

“But I was a prick in other ways.”

“I liked the guy you were when we met. Yeah, you were messy and you had your issues, but so did I. I wasn’t a picnic, either. We were both fucked up. But it didn’t stop me from falling in love with you. And staying that way.”

“And now?”

“Now I like you even more. I’m glad you’re not totally up your own ass, as you put it. I like that you’re not afraid to talk about the hard things. That you’re able to admit you’re self-conscious or…”

“I never admitted to that.”

“Or you’re feeling spiteful or hateful or jealous. I mean, as weird as it sounds, everyone should want their man to be that way. Just completely honest. Because it doesn’t do anyone a lick of good if they keep that all bottled up.”

“So what you’re saying is that it’s okay to be a prickly asshole.”

“Don’t push your luck, Tyler.”

Grinning, he =presses a kiss to her temple. “So, this guy…”

“What more is there to know? You asked how I met him. I told you. What more do you need?”

“You just chatted in an elevator and hooked up with him, or…?”

“He asked me out for an Irish coffee. I said yes. It was as simple as that.”

“Irish coffee, huh? So that’s what the kids are calling it these days.”

“We went out. One date turned into two, two turned into three. Three turned into a relationship.”

“A serious one, or…”

“I mean, we were exclusive. We didn’t date other people. We just…I don’t know…we just did our thing.”

“Did you do HIM?”

“Tyler…”

“I want to know, okay? I NEED to know.”

“Why?”

“Because I do.”

Sighing, she presses a kiss to his forearm, then rolls over to face him. “That’s not an acceptable answer for anyone over seven.”

“Did you? I mean, I think I already know the answer, but…”

“I didn’t sleep with him. And believe me, it wasn’t for lack of opportunity. I won’t lie to you; we did other things and I enjoyed them. I enjoyed them a lot, actually. It was nice; to feel beautiful and wanted and to have someone completely and utterly devoted to you.”

“I would have given you all that. I DID give you all that.”

“And I WANTED it to be you. More than I ever wanted anything in my entire life. But it wasn’t a good time. To just show up on your doorstep. It was all so complicated. Confusing. And I needed to protect Millie. We’ve both burned a lot of bridges, Tyler. Crossed a lot of really bad people. I couldn’t put her at risk. I just couldn’t.”

“But you can now?”

“So much has changed. We’re both walking away. From this life. And I know all of this probably doesn’t make much sense to you. But it makes sense to me.”

“And you couldn’t seal the deal with this guy because…”

“Because it wasn’t fair. To him. To let things get THAT serious. He was a good man and he was great to me and Millie. But I couldn’t give him THAT. That part of me. I just couldn’t. And he didn’t realize it and I never told him about you, but It was always a competition. Between you and him. Everything he did, everything he said. All I would think about is how YOU would handle things. The things YOU would say. And I tried; I really did. But he deserved better than that; a woman who thought of someone else every time he touched or kissed her. That wasn’t fair to him. He wasn’t a bad person. Far from it.”

“I kind of feel bad now. For handling the five years like I did. Me and my wandering dick.”

“Why would you feel bad? Those were my issues. Not yours. You had every right to go on; to deal with things however way you wanted to. You were the one that got hurt.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you hurt yourself more than you hurt me.”

“It wasn’t easy. I didn’t want to leave. And I didn’t want all that time to go by; flying under the radar and keeping Millie a secret. But it was so complicated. The lives we were both living. It was never to punish you or hurt you. It was to protect you. And her.”

He nods slowly, considering her words. “So is that why things went bad? Between you and the cop? ‘Cause you wouldn’t pull the trigger?”

“He was very understanding. Very patient. He just assumed I’d come out of a bad situation and I just wasn’t ready for that kind of thing. And I didn’t bother telling him any differently.”

“So what happened? What made him walk?”

“You mean there’s something the little birdie DIDN’T tell you?”

“She did. But I’d rather hear it from you. How’d he find out? About who you REALLY were?”

“I told him.”

“That was risky.”

“Once I realized he was getting more serious and deeper into things than I expected him to, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’d spent six months with him; half a year pretending to be someone I wasn’t.”

“Were you getting more serious about things? About HIM?”

“I mean, I liked him. I was attracted to him. And he was very good to me and Millie. He spoiled the hell out of her and she liked having him around; he took her to baseball and hockey games, they went to the zoo and the movies, he braved the Macy’s toy department more than once.”

“And I want to be happy about all that, but…”

“You weren’t there, Tyler. Through no fault of your own. Millie needed someone. A father figure. She wanted someone like that in her life.”

“She had someone like that. She had a DAD. That would have been there had he known she even existed.”

“And THIS is why I didn’t want to talk about this stuff. No matter what I say or do, it’s only going to upset you. You say you want to know everything, but deep down…”

“I have a right to know all of this stuff. I haven’t hid anything from you. About what I was up to in the last five years. I was totally honest about Delaney. It should go both ways, don’t you think?”

“I don’t want to fight. I get it; you’re hurt and you’re angry and you need to take it out on someone. I get it, Tyler. And I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. You have every right to be pissed. But do you REALLY want to keep doing this? Bringing it up over and over again? Finding fault in everything I say? You tell me you want to hear these things and then…”

“I’m not trying to fight.” He uses his fingertips to clear hair away from the side of her face and loop it behind her ears, then presses a soft, reassuring kiss to her lips. “And I’m sorry. For acting like a prick sometimes.”

“I never said THAT.”

“Not in so many words.”

“I’m not trying to take away how you feel. You have every right to be pissed off. And hurt. You even have the right to take it out on me. But…”

“I don’t have that right. At all. And I don’t mean to do it. I know it hurts you. And you’re the last person I ever want to hurt, believe me.”

“We need help, Tyler. PROFESSIONAL help. Or we’re GOING to need it. To get past all of this. To deal with how we’re both feeling. You and your anger and your hurt and me and my regret and my guilt. I don’t think we can do it alone. Or that it’s healthy for either of us to even try.”

“You want me to see a shrink.”

“Not a shrink. A counsellor. And not just you. US. Someone who can sit with us and help us unpack all of this and work through it. I think deep down, you realize we need it. That kind of help.”

“If you think that’s the way to go…”

“I think it’s something we need to at least try. And then just go from there.”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Including THAT.”

“Now that’s true love,” she teases, and presses a chaste to the corner of his mouth. “And I think it might do Millie some good, too. To talk to someone. She’s been through a lot; seen and heard things no kid should ever have to. I know she’s a tough little thing, but I also know she’s a lot like you; when it comes to shoving things down and pretending they don’t exist. I don’t want her growing up like that. And I know you don’t either.”

“I don’t. I don’t want that at all. Whatever she needs…whatever WE need…we’ll make it happen.”

Smiling, she kisses him; long and soft and sweet. And when she pulls away, his palm still cradles the side of her face; thumb repeatedly brushing against her cheek. “I didn’t love him.”

“I never…”

“You were going to ask. I knew it was coming.”

“Not even a little bit?”

“I was attracted to him. I cared for him. Deeply. But I didn’t love him. And I don’t think I ever would have.”

“He must have loved you. He just let you walk. After he found out the truth.”

“Maybe? I don’t know. He never said he did. Sometimes I felt, you know? And I wasn’t ready for that. I probably never would have been. None of it was fair to him; lying about who I was, allowing him to get so close, letting him think that maybe there was some kind of future…a happy ever after…in the cards. He deserved a lot better than that. A lot better than ME.”

“You’re not a horrible person, Esme. You’re…”

“I hurt people. Even the ones I love the most. It’s who I am. It’s what I do.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. You didn’t do things because you wanted to. You did them because you HAD to. It was just part of the job. If you didn’t lie about who you were, the ending would have been a lot worse than fucking up some guy’s ego.”

“I should have never gotten involved with him. I should have done everything possible to just keep my distance. But I was lonely. I wanted someone in my life. Maybe not to have a serious thing with; I didn’t want to live with someone or get married or grow old and gray with them. He made me feel beautiful. He made me feel wanted. I hadn’t felt that in so long. And if I couldn’t get it from the person I wanted it from, I had to settle. SETTLE. How horrible does that make me sound? Talking about another human being like that?”

“It doesn’t sound horrible. It sounds…”

“Needy? Desperate?”

“No. It just sounds…sad.”

“Sad as in pathetic or…?”

“YOU sound sad. When you talk about it. And you must have been sad when it was happening.”

“I missed you. Every second of every day. And it got worse when Millie came along. I had wanted to be a mom for so long. And I finally had this beautiful little girl. Everything I ever longed for. But I couldn’t share her with you. And that wasn’t fair. To either of us. Or you.”

“See? You did hurt yourself more than you hurt me.”

“You have no idea what I went through. I just tried to shut myself off. I was in love with someone I couldn’t be with. Through no fault of his. He’d done nothing wrong. So I told myself I’d never let that happen again. Get close to someone. That it was better if I just concentrated on being a mom. And that’s what I tried to do. I DID. But…”

“Then you met this guy…”

“All of a sudden, I wasn’t as lonely anymore. There was this man that wanted me. And no, it wasn’t nearly to the depths you did. But it was…something. And I desperately needed it. More than I wanted to admit. All I wanted was to feel something…anything…again. But the more I felt for him, the more I missed you. And that’s when the competition began. He was never going to be YOU. Not even close. No matter how good of a person he was.”

“Did he just walk away or…?”

“He was hurt. Rightfully so. It’s kind of a kick in the nuts when you hear something like that; that the person you’ve spent six months with was nothing but a fake. And he felt stupid; that he didn’t sense that there was something wrong or that there was something I was hiding from him. I told him not to take it personally. It wasn’t any fault or weakness on his part. I was just that good at my job.”

“You must have horseshoes up your ass. ‘Cause for him to just walk away instead of not locking you up…”

“Maybe he felt bad for Millie. Putting me away meant she’d have no one. And I don’t think he’s the type to do that to a little kid.”

“You know what I think? I think he was in love with you. That’s why he was so forgiving.”

“And I think you’re reading too much into things.”

“I can’t say I blame him, though. I know from personal experience how easy it is. And how fast it can happen.”

“Now I think you’re overestimating my appeal.”

“Not in the fucking slightest.”

A smile curves her lips, and she reaches up to sweep hair off his forehead. A hand on his cheek as she leans in to kiss him.

“Thank you.” The fingertips of both hands slide across her shoulders and down either side of her spine, gently squeezing her ass when his lips meet her brow. For telling me. About him.”

“Thank you for not totally losing your shit. I was worried there for a minute.”

“Oh believe me, inside I was throwing tables and punching holes in walls.”

“Because that’s healthy,” she chides, cradling his face in her palms as she presses a kiss to each corner of his mouth, his cheek, chin, and finally his lips. And when she pulls away, she finds herself rendered breathless by the way he regards her; the pure adoration and devotion that softens his face and sparkles in his eyes.

It’s overwhelming at times. To be worshipped and loved in such a manner. Realizing that you’ve become such an enormous and integral part of someone’s existence. Yet it’s a love that many fear will never find them; so beautiful and all-consuming and life-altering.

Running the pad of her thumb over his lips, she sweeps her knuckles along his jaw and then wraps both arms around him. Her body pressed tightly against his as she tucks her face into that favourite spot of hers; that secure, safe place between neck and shoulder.

“It’s always been you, Tyler.” Her breath is warm and sweet against his skin. “It will always be you.”

[christopher-bangnaldoskzz]

STRAY KIDS REACTS

Pair: OT8 x reader Genre: 18+ smutty

Word count: 1.2k Summary: Reaction to you standing in front of them naked. Warnings: involves nudity and insinuating sex.

Taglist: @daceydeath @i-say-choco-you-say-ice-cream @bellamuerte1987 @nightrayseishina @shellyyy177 @9900z (lest me know if you would like to be added to my tag list)

{ ~ CHAN }

- Whatever chan had in his hands, he would instantly drop it as his eyes scanned your body up and down.

- “Wow…..you look” he couldn’t even finish his sentence. He was that mesmerised by your body.

-“ you want to take a picture, Chris It will last longer”, you giggle as he gulps.

- He would get out his iPhone and take a picture of you naked.

- You slowly walk towards chan and place your hand on his chest.

- “I umm… I don’t even know what I was going to say” he was almost sweating, and his breath was getting heavy.

- “Do I make you nervous, Channie?” you say, moving closer and hovering your lips over his.

- “Apparently,” he says, closing the gap.

- After he has finished, he will walk closer and start placing kisses on your shoulders and collarbones.

- He would lead you to your shared bedroom, where you would stay until chan was satisfied.

{~ CHANGBIN }

- It was the end of the night, and you and changbin were the only ones left in the spa.

- He leans back in closes his eyes, reliving his prominent Adam's apple

- You had liked changbin for a while and thought now might be a good time to make a move.

- You remove your swim underwear, and changbin opens his eyes, thinking you are getting out.

- His eyes widened as you slipped the bottoms off and placed them at the side of the pool.

- “Uhhhh Y/N….what are you doing?” He was so tense.

- “This….” You say as you undo your bra and sit on changbins lap.

- Your breasts touch his bare chest.

- You stare into his eyes, and he kisses you passionately.

- Pulling you closer to his body.

- “You make me so horny, baby”, he would say breathlessly.

{~ MINHO }

- Minho dears you to skinny dip.

- Minho didn’t think you would do it, so when he turned around and you were naked, he was shocked.

- “WHAT THE FUCK, Y/N” he would say, covering his eyes.

- “Minho, you dared me to”, you laugh. “Come on in if you dare”, you would say as you run into the ice-cold lake water.

- Minho frantically rips off his clothes and runs in as well.

- “Holy shit, this water is freezing”, he would say, hugging himself.

- “I can help you with that,” you say, slashing him.

- He would begin to carry you through the water until he grabbed you by the waist, pulling you in.

- “Think you can get away that easy, huh?” He said into your ear.

- You turned around, and Minho wrapped your legs around his waist

- As you to sat in the water, Minho leant in and placed a kiss on your lips.

- “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he said.

{~ FELIX }

- You would be showering when Felix walked in with his headphones on.

- You both scream

- But Felix doesn’t seem to leave. He is just looking at you blankly.

- “Felix…you’re being creepy,” you say, rubbing the steam off the glass.

- “Oh…sorry, I just blanked out,” he said, shaking his head.

- “Felix,” you said because he was still starring at you

- “Yeah, babe”, he replied.

- “Did you want to get in?” You laugh

- That was enough for Felix to rip his close off and jump into the shower with you.

- He would feel up your body

- Making you laugh because you are incredibly ticklish.

- He would silence your laugh with a kiss.

{ ~ HYUNJIN }

- Hyunjin accidentally walks in on you getting undressed

- “Hey, y/N…..ahhhhhh, I am so sorry. I will…fuck” he said, fumbling in the room.

- You thought Hyunjin was cute. You had been with him earlier in the day, just hanging out in your room.

- You had noticed before getting undressed he had left his phone in your room.

- So it didn’t surprise you much that he came back for it.

- You couldn’t help but laugh at how awkward this became.

- “I am so sorry…omg, I should knock” he walks out of your room, and you hear him slam his bedroom door.

- You continue laughing as you get changed.

- “Hyunjin… I’m dressed now if you want your phone,” you yell.

- “No, thank you….I’m just goona lie here contemplate my entire existence,” he would say back

- Making you giggle again.

{~ SEUNGMIN }

- Seungmin would pretend not to care.

- He would continue to do whatever he was doing before.

- It wasn’t until you started walking around the apartment that he would slowly look up to check you out.

- “ I know you are checking me out, Min”, you laugh. You could feel him staring a hole into the back of your head.

- “You are crazy….I am just cooking dinner,” he smiles. You know he is trying to tease you.

- “Oh yeah, is that why you are blushing.”

- He would smile as he put the knife down, shaking his head as he looked down at the table.

- “Fine, you win. I was checking you out,” he would look up at you.

- “What do you think?” You say cheekily

- “I’m thinking… that my girlfriend is fucking hot.”

- Seungmin walks over and places a kiss on your soft, warm lips.

{~ HAN }

- Han would rub his eyes as if he were in some dream.

- “Y/N, am I dreaming?” He would say

- “No, Hannie, your not. I’m naked…. Do you like what you see?” You would laugh and seductively walk over to him.

- His eyes would light up like it was Christmas.

- He would sit straight on the bed and smile as you walked over, straddling him on his king-single bed.

- “Now, are you going to be a good boy and show me some attention” he nods as you move your hair to the side.

- “Good…. Let's get these pants off you, aye,” you tease.

- He gulps as you unbutton his pants.

- He refuses to break eye contact with you,

- Han proceeds to lay you down on the bed and kiss your body.

- “ I will have my way with you tonight”, he whispers in your ear

{~ JEONGIN }

- Jeongin would immediately go super red.

- He would be embarrassed that he got all shy in front of you.

- He would clear his throat, so you turned your body towards him.

- “Everything okay, Jeongin?” You would ask shyly, Trying to act like everything is normal.

- “Yep, everything is great” he would have to shove some food in his mouth to distract him from becoming overwhelmed.

- He excuses himself to the bathroom.

- Jeongin splashed cold water on himself.

- “Come on, Jeongin, you’ve seen a girl naked before. What’s wrong with you.”

- You giggled at Jeongins self comments

- “Y/N, are you spying on me?” He would question through the door.

- “Maybe”, you giggle, and with that, he opens the door and king at you, gabbing your hips and pinning you against the wall.

[spaceshipkat]

you know, i wonder if one reason why tradpub acquires selfpub successes is because they assume these selfpublished books have already gone through rounds of edits and thus they won’t have to “waste time” doing any editing themselves (given we know it’s increasingly less likely for a book, no matter how good, to be acquired if it needs a single scrap of developmental editing). it hadn’t occurred to me before today, but i really wonder if that’s part of the reason for the sheer volume of them being acquired—beyond, of course, these books being easy money for the publisher.

if these authors have already paid out of pocket for editorial services, there’s no reason for tradpub to have to do so—and given the sheer amount of obvious typos, illogical plot beats, shitty character arcs, terrible worldbuilding elements, etc etc that remain from the selfpub to the tradpub version, it seems to me that many of these selfpubbed authors likely didn’t even seek out legitimate editors (i’ve seen several popular selfpubbed books simply list “beta readers” in their acks—and yeah editing is expensive, but the flip side of this is that you’re asking people to pay money for your book. give them a good product!!!! fuck!!!!!). ive heard plenty of hearsay that many of these books that are acquired by tradpub have very little about them changed (to the point that things like Italian suits exist in fantasy worlds that don’t actually have a place called Italy, or an achilles’s heel in a world in which Achilles doesn’t actually exist even in the fictional sense, or hell even the term “Adam’s apple” being used for the laryngeal prominence when neither Adam nor the Bible exist anywhere in this world’s history or religious systems—or even simpler than that, the word “okay” being used in a fantasy setting that doesn’t have Boston or New York or Martin Van Buren and therefore no established reason for why the word “okay” even came into existence) so like. what exactly does tradpub offer these authors other than covering printing costs? oh prestige certainly, and a broader global reach, but it’s not like tradpub does much more in the way of marketing than these authors have already done themselves (hence the big reason why tradpub acquires them in the first place—they don’t have to lift a finger, which they demonstrably hate doing, hence why so many authors are speaking up about this). i’d even argue these books sometimes don’t sell well despite hitting the NYT list based purely on the first printings from book to book, and the fact selling points continue to list tiktok views on xyz tag over sales figures.

and let’s be real, not every freelance editor is good at what they do. they may have a vast resume of books they’ve worked on, but that doesn’t mean the books are editorially good—and in all likelihood, the book could have used more than one developmental editor, to come at it from another perspective. it’s the same way a tradpub editor can have a vast resume of books they’ve bought without those books being any good.

this trend is just. yknow. very tiring.