#years of trying and 48 languages later

[thalassic-p4rk]

me when i’ve collectively attempted to learn 48 languages (and counting) and so i get this constantly except i know literally nothing else but a word or two in those languages cuz the brain isn’t meant to hold all that information so for me it’s more like

Every single person studying a language when they recognize the most basic word of the language in a text or a video

[mariacallous]

My earliest memory of 4chan was sitting up late at night, typing its URL into my browser, and scrolling through a thread of LOLcat memes, which were brand-new at the time.

Back then a photoshop of a cat saying "I can has cheezburger" or an image of an owl saying “ORLY?” was, without question, the funniest thing my 14-year-old brain had ever laid eyes on. So much so, I woke my dad up by laughing too hard and had to tell him that I was scrolling through pictures of cats at 2 in the morning. Later, I would become intimately familiar with the site’s much more nefarious tendencies.

It's strange to look back at 4chan, apparently wiped off the internet entirely last week by hackers from a rival message board, and think about how many different websites it was over its more than two decades online. What began as a hub for internet culture and an anonymous way station for the internet's anarchic true believers devolved over the years into a fan club for mass shooters, the central node of Gamergate, and the beating heart of far-right fascism around the world—a virus that infected every facet of our lives, from the slang we use to the politicians we vote for. But the site itself had been frozen in amber since the George W. Bush administration.

It is likely that there will never be a site like 4chan again—which is, likely, a very good thing. But it had also essentially already succeeded at its core project: chewing up the world and spitting it back out in its own image. Everything—from X to Facebook to YouTube—now sort of feels like 4chan. Which makes you wonder why it even needed to still exist.

"The novelty of a website devoted to shock and gore, and the rebelliousness inherent in it, dies when your opinions become the official policy of the world's five or so richest people and the government of the United States," the Onion CEO and former extremism reporter Ben Collins tells WIRED. “Like any ostensibly nihilist cultural phenomenon, it inherently dies if that phenomenon itself becomes The Man.”

My first experience with the more toxic side of the site came several years after my LOLcat all-nighter, when I was in college. I was a big Tumblr user—all my friends were on there—and for about a year or so, our corner of the platform felt like an extension of the house parties we would throw. That cozy vibe came crashing down for me when I got doxed the summer going into my senior year. Someone made a “hate blog” for me—one of the first times I felt the dark presence of an anonymous stranger’s digital ire, and posted my phone number on 4chan.

They played a prank that was popular on the site at the time, writing in a thread that my phone number was for a GameStop store that had a copy of the ultra-rare video game Battletoads. I received no less than 250 phone calls over the next 48 hours asking if I had a copy of the game.

Many of the 4chan users that called me mid-Battletoad attack left messages. I listened to all of them. A pattern quickly emerged: young men, clearly nervous to even leave a message, trying to harass a stranger for, seemingly, the hell of it. Those voicemails have never left me in the 15 years I've spent covering 4chan as a journalist.

I had a front-row seat to the way those timid men morphed into the violent, seething underbelly of the internet. The throbbing engine of reactionary hatred that resented everything and everyone simply because resentment was the only language its users knew how to speak. I traveled the world in the 2010s, tracing 4chan’s impact on global democracy. I followed it to France, Germany, Japan, and Brazil as 4chan's users became increasingly convinced that they could take over the planet through racist memes, far-right populism, and cyberbullying. And, in a way, they did. But the ubiquity of 4chan culture ended up being an oddly Pyrrhic victory for the site itself.

Collins, like me, closely followed 4chan's rise in the 2010s from internet backwater to unofficial propaganda organ of the Trump administration. As he sees it, once Elon Musk bought Twitter in 2022 there was really no point to 4chan anymore. Why hide behind anonymity if a billionaire lets you post the same kind of extremist content under your real name and even pays you for it?

4chan’s “user base just moved into a bigger ballpark and started immediately impacting American life and policy," Collins says. "Twitter became 4chan, then the 4chanified Twitter became the United States government. Its usefulness as an ammo dump in the culture war was diminished when they were saying things you would now hear every day on Twitter, then six months later out of the mouths of an administration official."

But understanding how 4chan went from the home of cat memes to a true internet bogeyman requires an understanding of how the site actually worked. Its features were often overlooked amid all the conversations about the site's political influence, but I'd argue they were equally, if not more, important.

4chan was founded by Christopher “Moot” Poole when he was 15. A regular user on slightly less anarchic comedy site Something Awful, Poole created a spinoff site for a message board there called “Anime Death Tentacle Rape Whorehouse.” Poole was a fan of the Japanese message board 2chan, or Futaba Channel, and wanted to give Western anime fans their own version, so he poorly translated the site's code and promoted his new site, 4chan, to Something Awful's anime community. Several core features were ported over in the process.

4chan users were anonymous, threads weren't permanent and would time out or "404" after a period of inactivity, and there were dozens of sub-boards you could post to. That unique combination of ephemerality, anonymity, and organized chaos proved to be a potent mix, immediately creating a race-to-the-bottom gutter culture unlike anything else on the web. The dark end point of the techno-utopianism that built the internet. On 4chan you were no one, and nothing you did mattered unless it was so shocking, so repulsive, so hateful that someone else noticed and decided to screenshot it before it disappeared into the digital ether.

"The iconic memes that came out of 4chan are because people took the time to save it, you know? And the fact that nobody predicted, nobody could predict or control what was saved or what wasn't saved, I think, is really, really fascinating," Cates Holderness, Tumblr's former head of editorial, tells WIRED.

Still, 4chan was more complicated than it looked from the outside. The site was organized into dozens of smaller sections, everything from comics to cooking to video games to, of course, pornography. Holderness says she learned to make bread during the pandemic thanks to 4chan's cooking board. (Full disclosure: I introduced Holderness to 4chan way back in 2012.)

"When I switched to sourdough, I got really good pointers," she says.

Holderness calls 4chan the internet's “Wild West” and says its demise this month felt appropriate in a way. The chaos that defined 4chan, both the good and the very, very bad, has largely been paved over by corporate platforms and their algorithms now.

Our feeds deliver us content; we don't have to hunt for it. We don't have to sit in front of a computer refreshing a page to find out whether we're getting a new cat meme or a new manifesto. The humanness of that era of the web, now that 4chan is gone, is likely never coming back. And we'll eventually find out if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"The snippets that we have of what 4chan was—it's all skewed,” Holderness says. “There is no record. There's no record that can ever encapsulate what 4chan was."

[ruruvxz]

“Where is my friend, smiley?”

Idol!Huh Yunjin x Idol!Reader

↳ synopsis: It was infuriating watching everyone ship you and your label-mate, you didn’t even know how anyone came to that conclusion, you didn’t even interact with her in the public! (Or from public knowledge you didn’t) So why would anyone know about your embarrassing relationship with her?

↳ cw: kinda mean reader, use of language, established relationship, reader is in a fake group, reader was in Produce 48, lovesick yunjin, hidden relationship, tooth rotting fluff (kinda a yapfest abt how much you love her…)

↳word count: 2.5k

a/n: literally my first time writing after awhile, usually my stories are old renditions/proofreads of stories i wrote back in 2023. so this is something im actually really proud of! also this story kinda was inspired by “tingin” by cup of joe more than it was inspired by “where is smiley” by serani poji… LOL

౨ৎ It was odd, and everyone agreed, that the partnership with Huh Yunjin from Le Sserafim and Y/N from Serendipity was perplexing. The only thing connecting both of the girls was the industry they happened to be in, other than that they had nothing in common. Of course, the argument could be made that you and her both participated in the hit reality competition "Produce 48", but everyone knew that was quite a flawed counterpoint.

This was because you were practically thrown out after a few episodes before getting scouted by HYBE to debut months later. And you made it apparent that you didn't want to interact with anyone associated with the production of that show. So with Le Sserafim's debut years after yours, you found it baffling that your company wanted you to "hang out" with the rookie groups, it was infuriating. You worked so hard just to be put with a bunch of girls who couldn't care any less about how much you tried. Despite that, you found mountains and mountains of carefully orchestrated videos of “so-called" proof about you and Yunjin being the "best" of friends.

Whatever it was connecting the both of you was a mystery the fans must solve, and being honest with yourself, you found the whole circumstance mildly infuriating.

So at every turn you tried avoiding that mischievous redhead wherever you went, even when it came to recording meaningless video collaborations, you always mustered up a half-assed excuse. It came to the point where you went out of your way to hide in uncomfortable places just to avoid her friendly banter. Though no matter how hard you tried you could always hear her voice linger longer than it should have in the back of your head. Or maybe it was just how awfully loud her voice was, to the point that it left a ringing sensation in your ear.

It came as no surprise when you heard her voice calling out to your other members inquiring about your whereabouts. This was usually your cue to hide away from prudish questions, last time she had asked you "Do you come here often? You look like you do" unprovoked! Admittedly you knew she didn't mean any harm, but it still struck a cord within you, and knew she was probably going to run towards you asking all sorts of questions. You picked yourself up from whatever task was put on you and quickly ran away from her voice.

Of course, you knew what you were doing was more than ill-mannered, but god forbid she quizzes you one more time about trivial interests. But that was better than confronting her, confrontation was your worst enemy, and so was Yunjin's mannerisms. She was the physical embodiment of what a "dog personality" was, always eager to learn more and help everyone out. it kinda freaked you out to some jealous extent.

So trying your best not to start any conflict with this poor redhead, you decided to best course of action was to camp out around the building's designated lounge. Hoping today would not be the day she decided to check this certain deserted area. All you could do now was fish out your phone from your back pocket to read some forums about your performance and pray that no one would notice you here.

On the other hand, Yunjin was getting more and more hopeless trying to find you around the shared building. Feeling a little lost as she mindlessly drifted across section to section of the HYBE building. Though it hadn't taken poor Yunjin a while before spotting you from the corner of her eye. Her eyes lit up when she saw you mindlessly scrolling on your phone, the energy filling her up with excitement as she inched closer. As she came closer you couldn't help but notice her come closer and closer, realizing your interaction was inevitable.

Jerking your head up to meet her gaze, Yunjin waved her hand as she came within reach of you, letting out a fake smile before putting your phone down. You glanced at her and back to the empty seat resting in front of you, she beamed a bright smile before quickly and "casually" sitting down. Yunjin opened her mouth to speak before you cut her off with a hum.

"Remember, we're the only ones here so make sure to be a little quiet, alright?" You hushed, while she gave you an approving nod, she spoke up this time making it apparent that she was trying her best not to draw attention to the both of you, not like last time.

"Of course, I just wanted to see you it's been so long since I've seen your face..." Yunjin pouts as she looks around making sure the coast is clear from the nosy "enthusiast" who was always oh so curious about you and Yunjin's relationship. Your spine chilling at the thought of people making up such absurd theories about your closeness. The way they could put together such in-depth statements about the both of you always stumped you, how did they manage to procure all this information?

Even Yunjin claimed time and time again that she knew nothing about these fan-made theories, or how her fans managed to get old screen captures of both of you. In actual reality, Yunjin most definitely knew more than he should have! Mainly because it was practically her fault that images of the both of you were wafting around on the internet. See, she wasn't exactly the silent type when it came to friendships/relationships, she loved airing out her own business, which usually came back to bite her in the ass. So needless to say when her old Spotify account was coincidently launched into mainstream media people quickly connected the dots.

For someone who was adamant about avoiding her Juniors, you happened to be insinuated in every one of her, oddly, romantic, playlists. Either that be by a photo of the back of your head being the cover of a playlist titled "The Perfect Pair", or by the fact that all the descriptions were... Unusually corny... even by Yunjin's standards. Each careful string of words all connected with an underlying message about adoration for a certain someone. This didn't help her case since she always spoke about you in high regard whenever she was in a lonesome interview.

And the evidence staked against her was just the tip of the iceberg, it was in fact, much deeper than she'd originally like to admit. If someone with a genuine interest in your relationship with Yunjin researched just a little more about the both of you, they'd probably discover your relationship cut deep. And yes— as much as you tried to avoid how embarrassing your elimination was during Produce 48, you came across one of the greatest person you’d ever meet.

The way she laughed so carefreely, and how her eyes crinkled whenever she smiled, while her gaze brightly met yours. Everything about her made your heart stop, it made you freeze up whenever she looked at you during practice, and it made you such a fool. You knew it was for the better to avoid her, if you didn't, you'd probably be so whipped so hard that you couldn't focus on your own career. But it was so hard, especially whenever she'd run towards you after every practice and performance telling you how well you did. (No one actually noticed anything because you never really got any screen time sadly...) Even if you left fairly early on, Yunjin slipped you her number so you could both keep in contact.

After that day, the one thing you swore not to do, was instantly thrown out the window, as every waking moment you'd secretly visit her to give her your luck. And when things didn't go her way, and she was eventually eliminated, you comforted her in your arms. Before you debuted, you would actively seek your smiling friend, laughing under the neatly shaded picnic table outside the PLEDIS building. It wasn't much nor was it very significant, but being by her side was more than enough for you.

Even after you debuted, you never broke contact with your dear friend, words couldn’t describe how much she meant to you. She congratulated you every step of the way, and you backed her up twice fold, no matter how turbulent her career was becoming you’d stick by her side no matter what. Because to see her smiling face was more than enough for you and you wouldn’t let anything or anyone damage that. So when she finally told you how much you meant to her, you couldn’t help but reciprocate the feeling.

Though when she debuted and years later light babble started to circulate around the corners of the internet, you so desperately wanted to stay away from her, not to damage her career. It was difficult but her happiness, and that smile you treasured so much was on the line, and you wouldn’t—couldn’t let her lose that.

(Of course, she knew what you were doing, she wasn’t an idiot, but it just made her love you even more, the way you cared so much made her heart swoon deeper for you. Yunjin didn’t want to sway your plans because she didn’t want to ruin your career as well, so she too, went with it. But that didn’t mean she ever kept you a secret. You belonged by her side and she didn’t want anyone to forget that. So yes, she was subtly hinting towards her loving fans that her heart fell in the palms of someone else’s.)

So that was what led the both of you to the circumstances you were entangled in right now. Having to camp out in secluded places, where only your faint laughter could fill her ears, and hers only. You reminisced on your past with her, how carefree you both used to be during your youth, but you wouldn’t trade what you had right now for anything. Despite how secretive the both of you were, you were content with having her hands interlocking with your fingers. It was small, honestly not even comparable to how she used to intertwine your lips during rush hour on the bustling streets of New York, but both made your heart race nevertheless.

As she talked about how practice went, your eyes drifted to how she’d scrunch her eyes whenever she laughed about what happened with Eunchae. Despite all the hardships she’s dealt with over the years, she was still the carefree girl you fell in love with. It was honestly surprising how your eyes never faltered off of her even after years of dating. You tried to take the advice from your family and peers that this was some teenage infatuation, but even through crowds of people, you’d pick her gummy smile before anyone else’s.

Your mind drifted to how you’d give her the moon and back, even if no one was watching, you’d give her everything you had. Your eyes, your heart, your mind, anything you could give her, you would. Yunjin couldn’t help but notice your gaze falling from hers and to her cheeks, she curiously stopped her story to call out to you.

“Ah Y/N, are you okay? Are you tired, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have talked your ears off—“ You cut her off by raising your hands to her face, she looked confused as she cupped her face. Yunjin looked even more shocked when you started to pinch her soft cheeks. Squishing them like marshmallows before laughing to yourself silently.

She (very pathetically) tried to swat your hands away before finally giving in with a giggle, placing her hands on top of yours. “You have such an adorable smile, have I ever told you that?” You speak, pulling her cheeks up to force a smile, not realizing she was smiling from your comment. Caressing your hands with her thumb she spoke up once more.

“Yes actually, you always tell me that my love.” She responded, her cheeks flushing red as you continued to play with her face. The way her eyes squinted like a crescent moon made you adore her even more than before.

“Your smile is just so adorable, I’m afraid I might hide it away from everyone.” You joked as you continued, she looked at you even more lovingly than imaginable, if you weren’t in public, you’d probably be kissing her face all over instead of playing with it. You were so distracted by how charming she looked that you didn’t notice a meddlesome paparazzi sneaking in and taking a very sneaky photo of the both of you. (And even if you did notice, you didn’t have the power to stop them, they’d probably run off with the photos before you could even stand up. Though they would probably release the photos later on in the day, and it would rightfully annoy you. You couldn’t deny the fact you were a little grateful that the people knew, the Huh Yunjin was, Y/N L/N’s)

“There you go again— Hey! You know, that was the first thing you told me when we met.”

“Was it really?”

“Yeah, you told me how beautiful my smile was, I was kinda surprised since you approached me in such a huge crowd of people.”

As Yunjin recited the moment you met, you remembered in detail about the interaction, because that’s what changed the trajectory of your life. (The backstage was crowded with everyone getting ready in their bright pink and white uniform, the cameras weren’t rolling so it was awfully loud. Your broken Korean wasn’t helping your cause as you tried your best to converse with your fellow trainees. The sea of faces was difficult to remember, there were 96 contestants after all. Despite how deafeningly loud everything was, and how overwhelming everything felt, your eyes wonder towards a light-brown bob. Her face caught you off guard, she was stunning, and the way she smiled made the world go silent for a few moments. And you needed to talk to her, or this moment would slip through your tender fingers, so you pushed through the crowd just to have one conversation with her.)

“How embarrassing… I hope no one finds out about that.” You sheepishly admit as you move your hands away from her face and intertwine your fingers back to hers.

“I’m sure they’ll find away, but before they do, my smile will always belong to you, Y/N.” She lifted one of your hands back to her face and cupped it to one of her cheeks before smiling softly. Making the already silent lounge even more quiet, as your mind only focused on her delicate smile. The same one you’d turn tides to protect. Your smiley.

opm and ppop lovers rise tf up!!!!!

[happypopcornprincess]

Chapter 2 || Illicit Affairs

Pairings - Joaquin Torres X fem!Reader

Premise - Actions are questioned, and emotions clash admits the arrival of the mission.

Word Count - 4.5K

Warnings: SMUT, Language, Angst, Mentions of blood, mention of DV, mention of child neglect, mention of panic attacks.

<< Chapter 1 || Series Masterlist || Chapter 3 >>

Two Days later

“How are you doing y/n?” Bucky spoke up as you entered the briefing room.

You smiled at him as you took your seat in the room, “I’m doing great, how are you?” you take out your essentials and set up your things for the briefing.

“Been a while since you showed up in casuals,” he pointed to the loose white t-shirt and sweats you were wearing.

Oh shit.

You look down at your… well, Joaquin’s clothes, “I was working in the lab last night.” you let out a nervous laugh.

“Nice cologne,” Bucky smirks.

Wait… does he know something?

You narrowed your eyes at him when he looked away. You haven’t told anybody about the… arrangement with Joaquin. But then, he has been your neighbor for as long as you can remember.

Before you could brainstorm further, Sam entered, as well as other members of the team. Shang-Chi, Kate, and surprisingly, Kamala. She waved at you excitedly, and you returned the same. You were not expecting the newest, and the youngest member of your team here. Sam was trying to include her around the campus, let her see how things go around. As Kamala was still figuring out her powers, it will be a while when she will be on a real mission on ground. She had weaseled her way to you, automatically making you her ‘mentor’.

Sam begins, “Good morning team, hope you all are well rested and hydrated, because this may take a while.” Laughs erupted, and eventually settled down as Sam took on the projector.

Pictures you have seen countless times on TV appeared on it, “All thanks to y/n and Kate's months long investigations, We have discovered that after New Year’s Eve… oh, there you are.”

The door opened with a creek, heads turned, and in came Joaquin.

Freshly shaved, hair still wet from the shower, haphazardly put together in a casual outfit, standing in the doorway out of breath and wide eyed looking around the room.

You very well knew why he was late, and avoided his eyes pretending to write in your planner.

“Take a seat Torres.” Sam spoke, and you heard hurried footsteps carrying him right to the seat in front of you.

“Sorry guys…” he apologized as he slid into his seat.

His scent invaded your senses, some dollar store product he uses everyday mixed with a scent so… Joaquin. You couldn’t resist but look up.

His eyes were already on you.

You lock his gaze for a second, Sam’s voice just a murmur in the background as the memories of last night danced in your mind. The loose t-shirt you were wearing felt hot to be in.

You quickly look at the projector, choosing to focus on the mission you will be leaving for soon, because you knew if you looked in his eyes for a second more… you would be in a lot of trouble.

The briefing didn’t last too long; Kingpin, to nobody’s surprise, escaped death on Christmas. All this while you were searching for him in the mainland, he was in mexico… planning something meticulous.

The mission was pretty straightforward; move in with two teams surrounding him from both sides of his hideout, and bring him back to the states alive to face trial.

“We move in 48 hours; there will be two teams; one moving Point A, the outskirts of the hideout, and another moving Point B, led by bucky. Get your gears up. Good luck.”

Sam got out first with Bucky on his heels, talking in hushed tones about the upcoming mission.

You took your time gathering up your things all while having small talk with Kamala. She was new, and you had a thing for guiding the new ones around. She excitedly told you about her latest mission with Maria and Carol in outer space, and you had to ask, “So, you met goose?”

Her eyes blew wide, “Oh my god, yes! He freaked me out a bit at first, but now I always hug him anytime we meet and Mr. Fury looks at me like I raided his house.”

You laughed as you got out of the room with her, but before you could say anything, Joaquin materialized before you, like a particularly handsome, slightly stressed genie.

“Hello y/n.” he smiles.

“Hey Joaquin.” You smile back.

“Hey Joaquin.” Kamala waves at him.

“Hey Kamala.” Joaquin's eyes flickered between you and Kamala, a silent plea for rescue in their depths.

“y/n, I just wanted to talk to you about the thing I told you the other day.” He asks you.

“What thing?” you play dumb.

“Yeah, what thing?” Kamala intervenes.

Joaquin looks like he is about to pass out, “You know, the thing.” He repeated, a forced smile appearing on his face.

“I'm afraid I don't follow,” you replied, enjoying his discomfort. 

“Just come with me, I need to have a chat.” He practically begs, almost whining.

Kamala chirps up, “can I come with you guys?” blissfully unaware of what was happening.

You look at his face, his pupils blown wide, the outline of his dog tags visible underneath his white shirt, and the way his body was angled towards yours, his self-control clearly stretched thin.

You took pity on his plight, “It’s about the Flag smashers Kamala,” you turned towards Kamala, “I’ll meet you in the common room in an hour.”

“Two hours.” Joaquin ads.

“Okay.” Kamala smiled, blissfully unaware of the situation between you and Joaquin.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Joaquin grabbed your arm, not roughly, but with the urgency of a man trying to defuse a bomb, and dragged you towards the living quarters, pulling you close as if to avoid drawing attention.

As soon as you enter his room, he slams the door shut, and you against it.

“You are in a lot of trouble.” He breaths out, his lips inches away from yours.

His hands grab your shoulders, pressing you tight on the door, his frame caging your body. You jut your chin towards him, looking him right in his pretty brown eyes. “It wasn't my fault you tied yourself to the bed.”

He presses his chest to yours, “It was your fault to leave me there this morning. Took me 20 minutes to get out of them.”

His body heat against yours made your head spin. “What about it then?” your breath quickened.

“You’ll find out.” He practically manhandles you, pushing you on his bed. You do quick work on your t-shirt, his t-shirt, while looking around the bed, still unmade from your activities last night.

He takes off his shirt, and then it’s a blur of clothes being thrown around and your bodies fighting to be on top.

“Easy tiger,” you breathed out as he bit your neck.

“Can’t wait to taste you…” he moaned as he slowly sucked on your skin.

You grab a fistful of his hair, “I think you’re a bit pussy drunk, lieutenant.”

“Ay carino,” he chuckled, closing his eyes, “don’t act like you don’t want me to have my way with you right now.”

“Mmm hmm,” you bite your lip, your legs clenching his waist just by the thought of how you had him handcuffed to the bed, how he withered and moaned beneath your touch all night.

Until you hear a click, and feel cool metal on your wrists.

You look above you, breathless, and see your hands bound together with cuffs on the metal frame of his bed.

“Oh please,” you grumble, your heartbeat doing a summersault inside your chest imagining what’s about to happen next.

Joaquin’s face hovered over yours, his face flushed, “you brought this upon yourself carino,” he breathed out, blowing raspberries on your chest as you laughed, “is this okay?” his big brown eyes find yours, his eyebrows raised in concern. “Yep.” you smile, pecking his lips, “now get to work.” you grind yourself on his already hard cock, which results in him crashing his lips on yours.

----------

Warm hands running down your waist, he drew feather light circles on your skin. Facing him, you laid your head on the pillow next to him. The floor to ceiling length windows in his room showed the sky outside turning pink from the setting sun. 

And that's the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings and stolen stares

They show their truth one single time

But they lie, and they lie, and they lie

A million little times

“What about this?” you trace a scar on his collarbone that’s barely visible. Judging from how it has mended, it looked years old.

He smiles, his hands going up, the skin above your ribs, “Biking accident.”

“Biking?” you raised your eyebrows in shock.

He rolls his eyes, “I used to race with my friends after school. Had to be rushed to the ER after falling down a canal. Got grounded for a month.”

There was something about him looking at peace, smiling, and telling you stories about his past that made a smile etched on your face on its own, imagining him as a kid running around the streets of his small town. 

He runs his fingers through the stray strands of your hair. “You must have done something like that with your friends back then. You can tell me, you know”

Your smile fades thinking about the past, the last five years of how you were all alone while your friends and family were…

Sensing that you don’t want to talk about it, he gently closed his fingers around your wrists. He brings them up to his lips and kisses them. Your eyes travel to the red marks on your hands, and then to his eyes.

Those big brown eyes, looking right at you with a level of intensity that made your heart race. It had happened a lot recently, you had seen this before; it increased every time you fell on his bed.

He was your… friend? Lover? You had agreed to not pull any labels between you. But the line between having casual sex to being friends to expecting more has been blurring a lot recently. At Least for you.

You sat upright, gathering the sheets to cover yourself. Joaquin opens his mouth to say something but you blurt out, “Kamala must be waiting for me. Better get to her before she asks around for me.”

Take the words for what they areA dwindling, mercurial highA drug that only workedThe first few hundred times

You throw in a forceful smile, and pretend not to see the hurt that flashed on Joaquin’s face as you dressed up.

“How about dinner tonight?” he asks you, “I can come over…”

“I’m going to Peter’s place.” you cut him off. Looking at him you see him sitting up, leaning back on the headboard. You threw a forceful smile, “It’s been a while since I met aunt may, and I miss her food so,” you huff out, doing quick work on your clothes that you had worn the day before.

You gathered your things and opened the door, getting a last look at him as he sat on the bed, speechless, his eyes begging you to explain your sudden reaction.

“Take care Joaquin.” You manage to speak up, before leaving his room.

And you know damn well

For you, I would ruin myself

A million little times

His fault. The voice inside your head took the reins. He should have known this was only physical the minute it started.

It's his fault he caught feelings.

What you missed, was another, faint sound somewhere on the back of your head;

Maybe it’s mine too.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as your phone rang, it was Bucky.

“Congratulations kiddo.” he laughed through the call.

“What?” you asked, bewildered.

“Your first mission on the field. You're coming with us to mexico.”

—/—/—

Your apartment felt too small, each step a frantic attempt to outrun the rising panic. You were shaking, a tremor that started deep inside and radiated outwards. That phone call...it had sent you reeling, a need to escape, to be here, in your own space, overwhelming. 

Why am I getting nervous? The thought raced through your mind, a desperate plea for logic. Months of training. Years of martial arts. I'm ready. But the words felt hollow, a flimsy shield against the tidal wave of anxiety.

A faint voice echoed in your head, a cruel, familiar sound: You useless little shit! Can you do anything on your own without me nagging you for it?

The floor seemed to tilt, your knees buckling beneath you. Your chest tightened, a burning sensation that spread like wildfire, choking the air from your lungs. The room spun, the walls closing in. You gasped, a desperate attempt to draw a breath, but your lungs refused to cooperate.

Memories, unwanted and vivid, flashed before your eyes, a relentless slideshow of the past. You were trapped, a helpless spectator forced to relive every agonizing moment. The world narrowed, the present fading into the overwhelming weight of the past. 

You couldn't stop it; you couldn't escape.

"Cigarette in hand, your father stood mere feet away as your mother struck you, the wooden stick raised for another blow.

“How many was it?” she screamed, her voice a jolt to your already terrified nerves.

“Fi- five…” you managed between sobs.

“Five more,” your father stated in a chilling tone, dragging on his cigarette.

Your wails intensified, tears streaming down your face, but your mother continued, dropping the stick and resorting to her hands.

“How could you break all those glasses while washing, Y/N!” she slapped you again. “You’re seven! When I was your age, I could handle the entire kitchen on my own, and you can’t even wash dishes!”

Amidst your sobs and your mother’s shouts, you heard the front door open and hurried footsteps on the hardwood floor rushing into the kitchen.

“Ma!” your brother, Connor, ran in, throwing his baseball glove to the floor. He positioned himself between you and your mother. “Please, stop.”

“Connor, get away now, or you’ll get a beating from my hands!” she screamed, startling you. Your hands burned, your back ached, and your legs trembled from the pain.

“Ma, I’ll help with the dishes, okay? Just let her go this time,” he pleaded. Then, your father grabbed him by the arm and shook him.

“Listen here, boy,” he growled, “you ain’t doing no dishes in this house, alright? Let your ma handle her, and get out before I get my belt.”

You still don’t know what possessed you, but you ran. You fled the kitchen, the house, your bare feet carrying you at full speed across the front yard and into the vast fields of your family farm.

Your mother screamed for you to stop, your brother close behind, but you didn’t dare look back. You ran.

Ten-year-old Connor found you hours later, passed out in the fields, dehydrated and sunburned. You spent weeks in the hospital, enduring IVs while your parents belittled you for wasting their hard-earned money on a useless kid like you.

Because you overreacted to their discipline.

“Y/N!”

You gasped, jerking awake at the sound of your name. A cough, building in your throat, finally escaped, and Joaquin rubbed your back as you clung to his hand, your grip desperate. You were on the floor, disoriented, sweat slicking your body, and delirious.

“It’s alright,” Joaquin murmured, pulling you into a hug. You realized you were shivering, and you held onto him tighter, his warmth enveloping you.

“I- I don’t know- how-” you gasped, trying to make sense of what had just happened, but a sob escaped, and you began to cry. You cried for reasons unknown to you at that moment, your chest heaving, your breath erratic.

Joaquin said nothing, simply holding you closer. He rubbed your back, brushed your hair away from your face, and wiped your tears, offering silent comfort.

After what felt like hours of sobbing in Joaquin's arms, you finally calmed down. Silence settled in your apartment as your breathing returned to normal and the shaking subsided.

Joaquin didn’t release you.

“Joaquin…” you whispered, turning to him. He gently loosened his hold, his hands still resting on your arms. When you looked at him, your chest tightened with a surge of emotion.

His eyebrows were furrowed in worry, his eyes filled with concern. “Y/N…”

“I don’t know,” you said, with genuine confusion in your voice. “I was… walking, and then I was on the floor, and you…”

“Okay, okay…” he rubbed your arms reassuringly. “Let’s get you up.”

“I haven’t packed… and…”

He cut you off. “It’s fine, it’s fine, we’ll take care of that later.” He looped an arm around your back and another under your knees, lifting you as if you weighed nothing.

“Joaquin, I-” you protested, but he simply hugged you closer as he carried you to your bedroom.

He laid you on the bed, quickly clearing away the scattered items, and pulled the covers over you. You curled into yourself, watching as he removed his shoes and jacket and lay down beside you.

You could only look at him as he settled in, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. He hadn’t asked any questions, hadn’t questioned the situation, and he refused to leave. His calmness scared you; anyone else would have left you alone.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, unable to stop yourself.

He turned his head to look at you, his gentle gaze soothing you. “Don’t say sorry.”

“I don’t know what happened to me,” you said, your throat tightening at the memory of your panic.

“Hey,” he turned fully towards you, keeping a respectful distance. “Go to sleep, okay? We'l in the morning.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your face.

You nodded, exhaling, and gathered the courage to ask, “Can you-” you swallowed, “Can you stay?”

A gentle smile spread across his face. “Of course. Where else would I go?”

He lifted your head to rest it on his shoulder, his familiar scent enveloping you. Your tired eyes began to close, and you buried your face in his neck, his warmth making you even sleepier. You hugged him closer, intertwining your legs with his.

That night, sleep came easier than ever."

—/—/—

You open your eyes, tired and swollen, sunlight hitting your face. You scrunch your eyebrows as you wake up, expecting to find your bedroom with clothes lying everywhere.

Instead, you see a neat pile of all your clothes on the end of the bed, and another pile near the dresser.

Joaquin

You hurriedly went out to the kitchen, and there he was, fussing over a sizzling pan of waffles.

His eyes met yours, the sunlight streaming through the windows highlighting his form. He was fresh out of the shower, damp hair sticking up in disarray, wearing a gym shirt he’d left at your place and a pair of well-worn sweats.

“Hi.” you manage to speak.

“Hey.” he breathed out.

You stood there, unable to decide what to say next, and after what seemed like forever, he looked down at the pan for waffles, flipping them, as you made your way into the kitchen.

“Can you get the honey for me please?” he asked.

Upon his request you turned to look at the cupboards, trying to remember where you kept the honey. Your kitchen was just yours in name, it belonged to Joaquin and Shang Chi. 

As you turned back to confess your failure, you found him inches away, his hand reaching for the cabinet above your head, his gaze locked on yours.

His eyes flickered down to your lips and then to your eyes, and you blinked to see if this was real.

“We’re friends, yeah?” you asked, your voice raw with a sincerity you hadn’t intended.

“Friends,” he replied, his gaze returning to your lips.

“Just friends?” you pressed, the memory of last night’s intimacy, the way he held you, replaying in your mind.

“Yeah, just friends,” he huffed, stepping back, the honey bottle now in his hand. You stood frozen, unsure of what to do next.

He turned off the stove, grabbed his jacket from the couch, and headed for the door. “Joaquin…” you called after him, your voice barely a whisper.

“See you at the compound,” he said, slamming the door and leaving without a backward glance.

—/—/—

“Dude! Could you stop!” Kate jumped on the couch to reach Peter, who was sitting upside down on the ceiling, holding her book.

“That's an unfair advantage!” Kamala spoke up, unimpressed, scrolling through her phone sitting next to you and eating chips.

The young avengers were perched around the common room relaxing before facing God knows what awaited them in Mexico. You were busy studying the profile of Maya Lopez, who also disappeared the day Kingpin did. 

“Joaquin! A little help?” Kate shouts in his direction.

He was busy playing video games with Shang Chi, focused solely on the screen in front of him.

“I’m busy Kate.” He shouts, aggressively pressing the buttons on his console.

“Y/n!” Kate’s whines, “tell him to help!”

You closed your laptop to give an annoyed look to Kate, and stopped once you traced Joaquin already looking at you.

You haven’t talked since arriving at the compound, and now every time you look at his big brown eyes… This morning’s conversation makes a question linger in your mind; were you truly just friends?

It’s nothing, it’s nothing, it’s nothing…

“Hell yeah!” Shang-Chi screamed, raising his arms in victory as he won the game while Joaquin was distracted. Laughter sounded all around; you almost missed the ring of your phone.

You picked it up, without looking at who was calling.

“Hello?” 

His voice made you freeze. It was jarring trying to be accustomed to listening to him after so long. Anytime you heard his voice through the phone it shocked you, as you had made peace with yourself over the fact that you would never hear his voice again. 

Without a word you stood up from your place and went to the hallway, all while he spoke through the phone.

“What?” you exclaimed, trying to keep calm.

“Great way of greeting your older brother y/n.” His playful voice traveled through the call, and you could imagine his soft smile while he said that, always there to calm you through anything.

You sighed, “I’m older now, am I not?”

Connor was twenty and you were eighteen.

And now, you are twenty-three, a ghost of the girl you used to be.

Connor was still twenty.

Your family returning after the blip caused more damage to your life than when they vanished. Your brother and parents stayed the same. Meeting them after they returned turned your life upside down for the second time in five years.

“Mom misses you. Dad too.” He says, sadness laced in his voice.

“Didn’t seem like they missed me much the last time I was there.” You leaned on the wall behind, taking a deep breath as you recalled what had happened mere months ago.

“I know you’re hurting bug-“

“Don’t call me that.” You cut him off, hearing your childhood nickname after so long, “weren’t you going back to Georgetown?”

“I am… just… wanted to meet you before I do.” He says, “I’ll make dinner. Just the four of us.”

“I don’t want to have dinner with mom and dad. Is this their idea? forcing you to call me home and scream at me?” you say, the memories of your family’s last meeting haunting you.

The living room air crackled with a rage you knew too well. 

"The hell you mean you won't come back home?" your father bellowed, his southern drawl sharpening with each word, a familiar sign of his disappointment. He watched you, a rigid figure, as you hauled your luggage towards the door.

"Is there anything to come back to?" you asked, your voice flat, the question hanging in the charged atmosphere. Your gaze, heavy with weariness, met his.

The sting of your mother’s slap registered before the sound, a sharp, brutal end to the argument. 

"Ma! Don't!" Connor’s voice, raw with alarm, pierced the silence. 

You turned, your eyes locking with your mother's, the same eyes reflected back at you in the mirror every morning, now twisted with a venomous anger. "Get out of my house," she hissed, her voice a low, guttural threat. "You ain't no daughter of mine."

A coldness settled over you, "You should check the registry before you say that, Ma," you retorted, the words laced with a bitter edge. You turned on your heel, heading for the rented pickup, refusing to witness their reactions.

The engine roared to life against the silence of the driveway. You slammed the accelerator.

"Bug! Wait!" your brother's desperate cry echoed against the hum of the engine, but you didn't slow down. The road blurred through the tears streaming down your face, the pain a burning ache in your chest, your family farm a blur around you.

You cried harder as you saw him, a small, desperate figure running after the truck, calling you by the name only he used, a name that now felt like a cruel mockery of a bond you could never go back to.

“It was my idea.” Your brother sighed, he sounded tired, “I miss you.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow for a mission. I can’t” you state, waiting for a response. All you got was silence on the other end.

“Okay… Stay safe y/n.” he finally says with sadness laced in his tone

“You too.” You say, your thumb hovering over the end call button. Your throat tightened to say you’d meet him when you’re back.

But he cut the call.

You looked at the empty screen of your phone when it turned black, at the face that resembled so much to your brother. You were inseparable since forever, no fight you had ever lasted this long.

This was the only way you could move on. The only way you both could move on.

You sniffled away the tears and walked to the hanger, just to do a final check of everything before leaving tomorrow.

Too caught up in your head, you missed the sound of footsteps that had followed you there.

--------

It was D-Day.

People around you were running wild. Checking equipment, weapons, and the old unused Quinjet that was the only thing big enough to fit everyone.

“You good?” Bucky’s voice forced you to tear your eyes away from Joaquin talking with Sam.

“Yeah, all good.” You reply too quickly for his liking, trying to look busy with your laptop doing a final check.

"You know," Bucky said in a hushed voice, leaning towards you, "I thought you'd be more into bad boys. Never thought of you with the goody-two-shoes lieutenant."

Your head whipped around so fast, you feared you’d given yourself whiplash. With wide eyes and a racing heart, you fumbled for words, "What—I—Bucky, no, we're friends—there's—"

"I live right across you, Y/N," he interrupted, pointing at you with a knowing smirk. "I've seen him sneak in and out of yours at all hours for you two to be 'just friends.'" to your horror, he did finger quotes at ‘just friends’.

You groan, looking at the skies above.

“Who else knows?” you grit through your teeth.

“Just me for now… but others have suspected.” he had the audacity to giggle after he said that.

You debate if this was too late to drown yourself in the nearby pool.

He claps a hand on your shoulder, “hey, I’m glad. It’s good you found someone in your life.”

“When will you find Sam in your bed?” you tease him, a desperate attempt to change the topic.

It worked because he turned red and walked away, “You are a menace.”

“Why thank you.” You shout back.

<< Chapter 1 || Series Masterlist || Chapter 3 >>

Series Masterlist

A/N - Thank you everyone for sticking with me till the end of this fic! if you liked it please let me know through the asks and the comments. Next Chapter will be up soon... Love y'all, Take Care!

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[netflixbingger]

Beneath Rebel Skies - Chapter 11

Characters:Cassian x Reader Summary: You and Cassian Andor were childhood friends on Ferrix—until your parents suddenly tore you away without warning. Years later, you reunite during a mission for the Rebellion. Old memories clash with new tension as you’re forced to work together, navigating the lines between friendship, loyalty, and something more. Word Count: 3,827 words Warnings: Violence, Loss, Mild Language, Heavy Sexual Implications Previous Chapter Masterlist

You hadn’t realized how much quieter the base felt without him.

Cassian had only been gone a few days—routine recon, nothing high-risk—but it still left a noticeable gap. Like some thread in your day-to-day had gone slack.

You kept yourself busy. Maintenance duty. Late meals with Kiira. Updating supply logs that no one but you cared about. Two weeks out of medbay and you were nearly healed, the bruising fading from angry purples to dull yellows. Still tender, but manageable. You didn’t limp anymore. You didn’t wince when you stretched too far.

You were okay.

Mostly.

But you’d started doing this thing—checking the mission board a little too often, keeping your comm volume just a little louder than necessary. Not because you were worried, exactly. Just… aware. Hyperaware.

Cassian meant something now. He always had, but this was different. He was your person in a way you hadn’t fully let yourself feel before. And now that you’d had him—his hands, his mouth, his quiet stubborn care—you didn’t want to go back to the before.

So when the incoming alert pinged across your datapad at 23:48—Inbound arrival. C. Andor. ETA: 00:12—Your heart kicked once, hard.

The hangar was fairly quiet at midnight.

Only the overheads buzzed, casting pale gold light across the empty bays. A couple techs dozed in swivel chairs, a transport pilot sipped caf near the exit, but otherwise it was just you. Standing awkwardly with your arms crossed, shifting from foot to foot, pretending you weren’t excited.

The ship touched down with a soft whirr of repulsors, landing gear hissing as it met the ground.

You swallowed.

The ramp lowered slowly—and then there he was.

Cassian.

Dust on his boots, pack slung over one shoulder, curls mussed, brows slightly furrowed like he was still halfway in the field. His eyes scanned the bay and caught on you almost instantly.

He stilled.

You didn’t run to him. That wasn’t your style. But your face broke into a grin you didn’t even try to fight.

“Hey,” you called softly.

Cassian’s whole expression softened—just slightly, just enough for you to catch it. He made his way down the ramp without a word, boots echoing on the metal. And when he reached you, he didn’t say anything right away.

He just looked at you.

“You’re here,” he said, voice low.

You nodded, biting back a smile. “Got the alert. Figured I’d greet you.”

His gaze moved across your face, pausing at your still-faint bruise, at the faded scar by your ribs now visible beneath your tank. Then his eyes flicked back up. “You look better.”

“I am better.”

“You sure?”

“I’m cleared for active duty tomorrow,” you said. “Stop hovering.”

“I’m not hovering.”

You shook your head and nudged his shoulder lightly, warmth rising in your chest. “Back to yours? Or do you wanna grab some food?”

Cassian didn’t answer. Just looked at you again—this quiet, almost amazed look, like he couldn’t believe you were up all night waiting for him.

Then he reached out, brushed a bit of grease from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “I missed you.”

It wasn’t loud. Wasn’t dramatic.

But it hit you like a punch to the ribs.

You smiled again, almost afraid to admit it. Then you tilted your head toward the corridor. “Come on, Captain. I’ll walk you home.”

And you did. Side by side. No words. Just a quiet, steady closeness. Like maybe, slowly, the two of you were starting to figure out what it meant to have each other.

The walk back to his quarters was quiet.

Not awkward. Just… settled. Like the two of you had done this a hundred times before, even though it was still new enough to feel special.

You didn’t hold hands, but your arms brushed now and then, and neither of you pulled away. It was late enough that the corridors were mostly empty, the base winding down around you. Somewhere down the hall, a light flickered. You heard distant laughter from a barrack two levels up.

But here—between the two of you—it was just the sound of footsteps, soft and steady.

When you reached his door, Cassian paused, hand hovering over the panel. He glanced at you. “You coming in?”

You gave a small shrug. “If you’re offering.”

The corner of his mouth lifted, but he didn’t say anything else. Just keyed in the code.

His room was the same as always—dim, quiet, stripped-down in that very-Cassian way. But it felt warmer with him in it. More lived in. A half-folded shirt was draped across the back of a chair. A caf mug sat on the shelf by his bed. One of your hair ties rested beside it.

You stepped in and pulled off your jacket, draping it over the chair. Cassian set his pack on the floor and toed off his boots with a quiet grunt.

Then he moved to you.

Not rushed. Not hesitant.

He just stepped close and wrapped his arms around your waist, tucking his face into the crook of your neck like he’d been needing to all week.

You let yourself melt into him, arms winding around his back.

He held you like that for a while—solid, warm, quiet. Like grounding himself to you after being gone. You could feel his breath at your neck, the way his hands splayed over your back like he wasn’t ready to let go.

Eventually, he pulled back just enough to look at you. His eyes searched your face, still unreadable, but softer now. Cassian leaned in and kissed you—slow, steady, a little more certain than the last time. It wasn’t rushed. Just something he needed. And you gave in to it without hesitation, fingers sliding up the back of his neck, feeling the beginnings of stubble.

His voice was low against your mouth. “You missed me.”

You made a noncommittal noise.

He pulled back slightly, smirking. “You missed me.”

You rolled your eyes. “You were gone for two days.”

“And you still missed me.”

He kissed you again. You didn’t try to stop smiling this time.

“Shut up,” you whispered, tugging him toward the bed.

He followed easily, and the next hour was a blur of tangled limbs, half-laughed curses, and slow, lingering touches. You ended up on top of the blankets, breathless and half-undressed, your legs tangled with his as you laid side by side. His hand rested low on your waist, thumb brushing lazy circles on your skin.

The room had gone quiet again, but it felt different now—settled in a new way. Like this was starting to become a rhythm.

“Do you ever think about Ferrix?” you asked suddenly, voice quiet in the dark.

Cassian let out a small breath. “All the time”, he gave a faint shrug, tracing your back. “You were different back then.”

“So were you.”

“I mean it. You were… softer.”

You raised a brow. “Wow. Thanks.”

He shook his head quickly, catching your sarcasm. “Not weak. Just… younger. You were still figuring everything out.”

You fell quiet for a beat. “I felt like I had to. I was always trying to catch up to you and Bix. Like I was tagging along.”

Cassian gave a soft laugh, one you could feel rumble under your cheek. “You say that like it bothered us.”

“You didn’t seem to notice.”

“I noticed everything,” he said.

Your heart kicked.

“You were fearless in weird ways,” he continued, voice more thoughtful now. “You’d try things even when you were scared. Speak up even if your voice shook. You had no idea how brave that made you look.”

You lifted your head slightly, looking at him.

“I think I liked you even back then,” he said, eyes on the ceiling. “I didn’t know what to do with it. I just figured you’d never really… see me that way.”

You blinked, surprised. “Are you serious?”

Cassian glanced at you. “Why do you think I kept giving you shit all the time?”

“I thought you just liked being annoying.”

“That too,” he muttered. Then, softer: “But mostly it was because when you smiled at me, I forgot how to talk.”

You were quiet, but not because you didn’t have anything to say. You just hadn’t expected that.

You leaned forward, closing the space between you, kissing him before he could say anything else.

And this time, he didn’t hold back. He pulled you flush against him, hand tangling in your shirt, mouth parting yours with something closer to urgency than tenderness. You let him—wanted him—until you were breathless and flushed, your body pressed tight to his.

Eventually, you broke the kiss, nose brushing his. “You talk a lot for someone who’s supposedly bad with words.” He let out a low chuckle that filled your stomach with butterflies.

The hum of fluorescent lights buzzed overhead as you crouched beside a tangled mess of wiring in the back of Maintenance Bay 2. Your hands were already smudged with grease, and you’d been trying to make the same old junction box stop sparking for the past ten minutes.

“You’re glowing,” Kiira announced, strolling in like she hadn’t just woken up fifteen minutes ago. “Either he railed you stupid or you found a working caf machine.”

You didn’t even look up. “Both.”

“Ugh. Gross. I didn’t need confirmation.”

You smirked. “You asked.”

“I didn’t actually ask. I just strongly implied.”

Kiira plopped down on the crate beside you, sipping from her own caf like it was a damn mimosa. “So. You and Captain Smolder now share quarters or what?”

“No,” you said, too quickly. “I still have a room.”

“That you haven’t used in, like, four days.”

You gave her a look. “It’s not like that.”

Kiira raised a brow. “You two are attached at the hip. He left for two days and you were unbearable.”

You reached for the wire splicer. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“You were miserable.Kept on staring at the clock waiting for him to arrive”

You tried to hide your grin. “Shut up.”

She grinned back. “I’m just saying—it’s nice seeing you like this.”

“Greasy and irritable?”

“No,” she said. “Happy. It suits you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Can we not do the whole heart-to-heart thing before breakfast?”

Kiira held up her hands. “Fine. But don’t think I didn’t see that hickey under your collar.”

Your head snapped toward her. “There’s not—”

“There is. You’re sloppy, babe.”

You groaned and shoved her with your foot. She laughed.

Kiira stood and stretched. “Alright. I’m off to pretend I know how to fix a power converter. I’ll see you later tonight at the bar”

You smirked and lobbed a bolt at her. “Try not to be late this time.”

Kiira caught it one-handed, already sauntering toward the exit. “Try not to drink like a rookie this time.”

The bar was exactly what you remembered—dim lights, sticky floors, and a jukebox that only played two songs on loop. It smelled like spilled liquor and old gear grease. But somehow, it always felt like the safest place on base. Like the war didn’t follow you past the threshold.

 “To our girl,” Kiira said loudly, raising a dented tin cup above her head. “Back on her feet. Cleared for duty. And somehow still hot despite nearly bleeding out on a crate of ration packs.”

You groaned into your drink. “Can you not say the word ‘bled’ while I’m eating?”

Cassian sat beside you, one arm along the back of the booth. His drink sat mostly untouched, his posture relaxed.

Kiira grinned across the table, slinging an arm over your shoulders despite the fact that she was already a drink ahead of you. “I’m serious. I’ve seen people take less damage and come back looking like boiled meat.”

“Wow,” you said flatly.

“She’s complimenting you,” Cassian murmured near your ear.

“She’s terrible at it.”

“I’m incredible at it,” Kiira protested. “You just don’t know how to accept love.”

You rolled your eyes and drained your glass. Whatever mix they’d poured tonight was stronger than usual, warm in your chest and legs, softening all the edges. You tipped your head back against the booth and caught Cassian watching you—subtle, but unmistakable.

You raised an eyebrow. “You judging me?”

“Just observing.”

“Uh-huh.”

He didn’t say anything. Just reached for his drink and took a slow sip, the corner of his mouth twitching like he was holding back a smile.

Kiira caught it instantly. “Oh, don’t think I didn’t see that.”

Cassian looked at her, deadpan. “See what?”

“That look. You’re, like, three seconds away from dragging her out of here by her waistband for a quick fuck.”

You choked on your drink. “Kiira.”

She shrugged, entirely unrepentant. “I’m just saying—it’s quite obvious.”

Cassian stayed silent, but the flick of his thumb along your arm under the table was answer enough.

You tried not to grin. Failed.

Before you could respond, a loud voice cut through the bar.

“Well, shit. If it isn’t Captain Andor.”

Cassian turned just as Melshi strode in from the doorway, peeling off his jacket and slapping it across the back of a nearby chair.

“I thought I recognized that scowl,” Melshi said, grinning. “Didn’t think I’d find you cozying up in a booth like some domesticated war hero.”

Cassian rolled his eyes but stood to greet him. They clasped hands, pulled each other into a brief, brotherly hug that said more than words could. You rose, brushing your hands on your pants.

“You must be Melshi,” you said, offering your hand.

Melshi blinked, then gave Cassian a look. “This her?”

Cassian didn’t say anything, just shifted slightly to your side—close enough tto answer his question without any words.

Melshi’s eyes moved to you. He didn’t say anything at first—just looked. And then:

“Oh. So this is her.”

You blinked. “Her?”

He slid into the seat next to Kiira. “The one he mentioned when we were stuck halfway to nowhere the other month. Ferrix girl. Couldn’t tell if he wanted to kiss you or throw something.”

You raised an eyebrow. “And which do you think it was?”

Melshi chuckled. “Probably both.”

Cassian didn’t comment—just picked up his glass and took a slow sip, unbothered.

Kiira leaned in, looking delighted. “So you’re a second witness to his secret soft side?”

Melshi snorted. “Hardly. This guy didn’t tell me anything on purpose. Just muttered your name once when he was rewiring the nav console and shocked himself.”

Kiira cackled into her drink.

Cassian muttered, “You’re not staying long, are you?”

Melshi ignored him, gesturing to the drinks. “What are we celebrating?”

“She got cleared for active duty,” Kiira said, raising her glass toward you. “First mission back starts next cycle.”

Melshi’s brows lifted. “No shit? You’re the one who took a blaster to the ribs, right?”

You gave a dry smile. “News travels fast.”

“Gossip does,” Melshi said. “But still—hell of a thing. You look good for someone who nearly bled out.”

“Thanks,” you said.

Cassian’s mouth twitched. He didn’t say much, but his thumb brushed the side of your leg again beneath the table—gentle, reassuring. Like he needed the reminder that you were still here, still in one piece.

You leaned slightly into his side, letting that quiet contact settle you. The talk moved on, the drinks kept flowing, and you let yourself be in it—just for now.

An hour later, the booth was scattered with half-finished drinks, a dented deck of cards, and the remains of something that had once been food. Melshi had somehow talked all of you into a game none of you fully remembered the rules to, which, frankly, only made it more fun.

Kiira was talking shit. Melshi was talking louder. Cassian watched it all with that unreadable expression of his—calm, amused, sipping his drink like he didn’t want to miss a second.

You were drunk. Not sloppy, not out of control. Just warm and loose, that kind of buzz that made the lights a little softer and the laughter easier.

You leaned your weight into Cassian’s side, legs folded beneath you. His arm rested behind you on the booth, fingertips brushing the curve of your shoulder now and then like he didn’t notice—or like he absolutely did.

“Okay,” Kiira said, throwing a card. “That move was illegal. You should be arrested.”

“You’re making the rules up as you go,” Melshi said, deadpan. “Pretty sure you just made three of the same play in a row.”

“Bold of you to assume I know how to count right now.”

You laughed into your drink and nearly spilled it. Cassian reached over instinctively, steadying the cup with one hand while the other ghosted over your thigh.

“You good?” he asked under his breath, low enough for only you.

You nodded, blinking up at him. “Just tipsy.”

He gave a quiet hum. “You’re flushed.”

You rolled your eyes and slouched lower into his side, letting the hum of the bar and the heat of him next to you settle into your bones.

Someone dropped a glass at the bar. A cheer went up. Melshi shouted something about cheating again.

Eventually, the game fell apart—Kiira started dealing the cards upside down, Melshi accused her of sabotage, and you were too far gone to follow who was actually winning.

“You two are a menace,” you mumbled, propping your chin on your hand.

Melshi leaned back, tossing his cards onto the table. “Alright, I’m calling it. If we keep playing, someone’s gonna cry.”

“And that someone is gonna be you,” Kiira said, grabbing her jacket off the back of the booth.

Melshi stood, stretching with a dramatic groan. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.”

You watched Kiira and Melshi disappear out the door, her hand wrapped around his forearm like she’d done it a thousand times before. He was still saying something, talking fast with that crooked grin like he was trying to win her over with pure charm. She was smirking—amused, maybe impressed. Hard to tell with Kiira.

Cassian leaned on the edge of the table beside you, arms crossed. “They’re really leaving together?”

You arched a brow. “Looks like it.”

He let out a low chuckle. “Didn’t see that coming.”

You snorted. “I did. She’s been teasing him all night—and he’s barely blinked.”

Cassian’s gaze lingered on the door a second longer before glancing at you. “Think that’ll go anywhere?”

You shrugged, stretching your arms overhead. “Depends if they kill each other or hook up first.”

He gave a wry smile, “She’d eat him alive.”

“That’s probably why he likes her.”

You laughed—soft and a little sleepy. The bar had thinned out, most of the tables empty now. Your head felt pleasantly warm, a little fuzzy around the edges. You weren’t drunk enough to forget, just tipsy enough to stop overthinking things. Cassian hadn’t moved far from you all night—his knee kept brushing yours under the table, his fingers catching yours once when you’d dropped a card. You hadn’t said anything. Neither had he. But the weight of it lingered.

You nudged him with your foot. “They actually kind of work.”

Cassian raised an eyebrow. “They do?”

You gave a small shrug. “He’s cocky, but not in a bad way. She’ll keep him on his toes.”

He tilted his head like he was considering it, then nodded. “Could be worse.”

You stood slowly, brushing your hands on your pants. “Well, now that our entertainment’s left…”

Cassian stood as well, watching you for a moment like he was assessing how unsteady your legs were.

“We should head back,” he said.

You didn’t protest. Just gave him a small grin.

The walk back was quiet, the kind of silence that came from familiarity. You leaned into him more than usual, your shoulder bumping his. Cassian didn’t tease you, didn’t ask if you were okay—just walked at your pace, steady and grounded like always.

When you reached his room, he keyed open the door and guided you inside with a hand on the small of your back.

The light was soft—dimmed automatically when he stepped in. You made it as far as the chair before toeing off your boots and sinking down with a huff.

“I’m not drunk,” you said.

Cassian arched a brow, crouching to help pull off the second boot. “No?”

“Just… a little spinny.”

He didn’t laugh, but he smiled—just slightly. “Come on.”

You stood, swaying only slightly, and let him lead you to the bed. You flopped down with a sigh, already pulling the blanket over your chest. He moved around the room in quiet efficiency—boots, jacket, belt—before finally slipping in beside you.

You rolled toward him immediately, burying your face in his shoulder.

Cassian rested his arm around you, his hand splayed against your back. He didn’t speak. Just held you until your breathing evened out.

You were asleep within minutes.

And for a long time, he just laid there—awake, watching the way your fingers curled against his shirt

The days slipped by in quiet pieces.

You were back on missions now—light ones at first. Supply escorts, outpost checks, the occasional recon flyover. Nothing high-risk, but enough to shake the rust off. To prove to yourself that you could still do this.

Cassian never said anything when you’d return from a mission, but he was always there—leaning against the wall by the hangar, arms crossed, gaze steady. Sometimes he’d ask how it went. Other times, he didn’t have to. He’d just walk with you. Quietly, closely. Like he was grounding you. Like he knew you needed the silence more than the debrief.

Nights belonged to him.

You hadn’t officially moved into his quarters, but it might as well be yours too by now. Your jacket hung on the back of his chair. Your socks filled one of his drawers. He never mentioned it. Never asked for space. If anything, he pulled you in closer each night—hands on your waist, breath warm on your shoulder, like having you there helped him sleep.

It helped you, too.

Things were… normal. Or the closest thing to it. Missions rotated in and out. The mess hall was always too loud. The hallways always smelled faintly of coolant and burned caf. But you felt steady again. Strong. Like you were standing on your own feet, not flinching every time the alert buzzed.

The scar on your ribs itched occasionally, but that was it… and you could live with that.

What you hadn’t expected was how easily Cassian folded into your routines—and how much you missed him when he was gone, even for a day or two. 

You still weren’t sure what to call this—what you were to each other. But it didn’t matter much when he looked at you the way he did. When his hands found your hips in the dark, or when he poured you caf before you could even ask.

You were his. That was enough.

For now

[yohajitou]

[DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, MORE BLOOD] Animate Tokuten Drama CD: "Living a Normal School Life For Once!" [Azusa]

Original Title: 各巻購入特典アニメイトドラ マCD「たまにはまともに学園生活!」

Audio: Here

Note: This is my first CD translation. English is not my native language so the translation may have some mistakes. I hope everyone enjoys it (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

____________Translation is here___________

[00:05] "Ah, Eve... I did not expect to run into you in the hallway like this. I'm really happy..."

[00:17] "I will try my best in the next class too..."

[00:23] "Ah, but first, I have to go to that place."

[00:32] "Um... I want to check on the flower bed."

[00:43] "We third-years decided to grow vegetables together. So, I chose cherry tomatoes..."

[01:03] "I asked Yuma to teach me how to do it... But I am worried about whether they will grow properly..."

[01:20] "I wonder... if the flower bed has been damaged...? Or if it is getting enough nutrients...?"

[01:30] "I feel uneasy, so I want to check. Ah, that is why I have to go now... See you later, Eve."

*Time skip*

[02:01] "Ah, Eve... Yeah. I could not stop thinking about the flower bed, so I came to check on it again. After all, I am the only one coming here."

[02:24] "I started feeling unsure if I could take care of it on my own, and I kept thinking about what to do."

[02:37] "Um. I came up with a good idea. I want to grow these cherry tomatoes with you!"

[02:46] "I think if we do it together, they will grow well. I am sure they will turn out delicious. I would be really happy if you helped me. What do you think...?"

/Yui agrees/

[03:14] "Thank you... Well then, I will give them some water. It would be bad if they dried out."

[03:30] "Yeah. I watered them earlier too. But I thought they might have started drying out by now."

/Yui explains/

[03:47] "Huh? Really? Giving them too much water is bad? Oh, right. Yuma also told me that cherry tomatoes are prone to root rot, so I need to be careful when watering them."

[04:17] "That was close… If you and Yuma had not told me, I would have messed it up. Thanks, Eve."

[04:33] "But if I cannot water them, then what should I do?"

/Yui suggests/

[04:48] "Fertilizer? Oh, the thing that helps plants absorb nutrients, right?"

[05:01] "Is there anything I can use as fertilizer?"

[05:10] "What do I have in my pocket…? Hmm? Ah, here! Shichimi (seven-spice chili powder). Yeah, let's try using this."

[05:28] "What is wrong, Eve?"

/Yui explains/

[05:33] "I should not? But when I eat this, I feel full of energy. So I think the tomatoes will get stronger too."

[05:51] "Sprinkle a little… and a little more… There! Eat up and grow big. Everything is going so well. If this keeps up..."

[06:20] "Huh? What do I do, Eve…! This leaf… It has a tear. If I leave it like this, it might wither..."

[06:44] "What should I do…? I know! I will take a little bit of my bandage... Wrapping it up like this should help!"

[07:10] "For me, wounds are an important part of life. But for this tomato... it could mean life or death. Maybe it also has a strong will to live… I have to help it."

[07:41] "Done! This should be fine, right? Hearing you say that makes me feel relieved. Let’s stop here for today."

[08:07] "Once the tomatoes are ready, I will bring them to you right away. I want you to be the first to taste them."

*Time skip*

[08:31] "Eve... look at this."

[08:44] "The tomatoes… They have turned red. I wrapped them in cloth so they would not get damaged."

[08:55] "Yesterday, when we took care of them, they were still green. But this morning, when I checked, some had turned red."

[09:14] "I wanted to show you first. And I want you to be the first to taste them too. Here, open your mouth. Go on, try one."

/Azusa gives Yui a tomato/

[09:34] "How is it?"

/Yui says it is delicious/

[09:38] "Really? That's great... So they turned into tasty cherry tomatoes after all."

[09:52] "Ah… You are thinking about the shichimi huh? I told you, it works!"

[10:04] "Yuma said that a little stress helps plants grow stronger. But I think the real reason... is that we took care of them together."

[10:24] "With you by my side, I feel like I can do anything. Thank you for taking care of them with me, Eve."

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

UN aid chief Tom Fletcher expressed regret for his recent claim that 14,000 babies could die within 48 hours in Gaza without aid - a claim the UN retracted - in an interview with the BBC on Friday.

Fletcher acknowledged a need to be "precise" with language, admitting that when he made the comments, “we were desperately trying to get that aid in.”

"We were being told we couldn't get it in, and we knew that we'd probably have a couple of days, a window to get as much aid in as possible, and that was being denied, and we were desperate to get that in. And so yes, we've got to be utterly precise with our language, and we've clarified that," he saidUnmute

After retracting Fletcher’s statement, the UN later cited a report that said there could be 14,100 cases of malnutrition in children in Gaza between April 2025 and March 2026, a timeframe of one year, not two days.

Despite his retraction, Fletcher still maintained that Israel has caused forced starvation in Gaza, amounting to a war crime.

“It is classified as a war crime. Obviously, these are issues for the courts to take the judgement on, and ultimately for history to take a judgement on,” he told the BBC.

Over one million meals have been distributed in Gaza by the GHF

The Gaza Humanitarian Foundation (GHF), which the UN refuses to cooperate with, opened its third distribution center in Gaza on Thursday.

Approximately 997,920 meals were distributed on Thursday, according to GHF, bringing the total number of meals distributed to date to approximately 1,838,182 via roughly 17,280 boxes.

"We're seeing food set on the borders and not being allowed in when there is a population on the other side of the border that is starving, and we're hearing Israeli ministers say that is to put pressure on the population of Gaza," Fletcher said, adding that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu should "absolutely" disavow those statements.

"We would expect governments all over the world to stand for international humanitarian law, the international community is very, very clear on that," Fletcher said, calling on Netanyahu to ensure that "this language, and ultimately, this policy... of forced displacement, isn't enacted."

Fletcher is still a lying, unrepentant a**hole. GBJ

[sweetjulieapples]

OC Tag Game

Thank you @animezinglife @raflesia65 @tiredtruffle and @nirikeehan for the tags!

GENERAL

Name: Juliette Trevelyan

Alias(es): Inquisitor Trevelyan, Lady Trevelyan, Herald of Andraste

Gender: Female

Age: 30 (as of start of Inquisition)

Place of birth: Ostwick

Spoken languages: Common

Sexual orientation: straight

Occupation: Inquisitor

FAVOURITE

Colour: She favours deep, rich blue hues and darker tones such as Navy. She's often seen wearing a lot of white and sometimes dark browns and black.

Entertainment: She loves horse riding and adventuring out in the open, breeze in her hair. After 19 years in the circle, she embraces all the freedom she can get. Juliette also loves to read and is addicted to "Moonlight on the Feast of Shadows"

Pastime: Juliette spends a lot of time at the stables trying to help Dennet care for the horses although she tends to just get in the way. She likes to float around Skyhold and check in with everyone but spends most of her time either reading in her room, drinking tea with Josie or just listening to Maryden play songs in the tavern. Once her relationship with Cullen develops she can often be found in his office "helping" with reports, although this usually means distracting him with questions until she falls asleep in his chair. He absolutely drapes a blanket over her , kisses her forehead and returns to his work.

Food: Juliette has a sweet tooth and loves chocolates and tiny cakes. She adores pastries and tends to prefer apple turnovers and  éclairs. She likes most food, but isn't too fond of the idea of pickled eggs (she hasn't tried them).

Books: Other than "Moonlight on the Feast of Shadows" she enjoys Nevarran romances. In the circle she studied a lot of books relating to botany, though not by choice as much as by necessity.

HAVE THEY

Passed university: She passed her harrowing. That's all she'll tell you.

Had sex: after first testing the sturdiness of a certain desk, yes.

Had sex in public: almost in a wine cellar.

Gotten tattoos: No.

Gotten piercings: None.

Had a broken heart: Yes, almost too often. She's very empathetic and tends to carry the pain of others. Personally, being taken to the circle as a child was her first heartbreaking experience. Hearing her mother cry as she was carried away and the scornful look on her father's face never left her. Feeling rejected by her family, and later her templar cousin that served in Ostwick's circle, left her with a lot of emotional pain. The loss of Haven, the grim reality of war and helping Cullen through his withdrawals and trauma are all things that left Juliette feeling heartbroken.

ARE THEY

A cuddler: definitely.

Scared easily: Yes. She startles very easily and is often known to squeal and jump at the slightest sound. However she can be fiercely brave at times.

Jealous easily: She has her moments, though it's not something she's really known for.

Trustworthy: Very. She's dedicated and cares deeply about doing the right thing. She is determined to help people.

FAMILY

Sibling(s): Three older sisters. Beatrix, Charlise and Susannah.

Parents: Maxwell and Evelyn Trevelyan

Husband (added): Cullen Rutherford

Children: Two children, the firstborn is a girl named Andrea Victoria Rutherford (Born 9:45) and a son named Jonathan Branson Rutherford (Born 9:48)

Pets: 2 horses (I won't name them to avoid spoilers for my story) and 2 adult Mabari (Pup & Lady) and we have a 101 dalmatians mabari situation going on here (clearly have not thought this one through)

I'm sorry if I tag you and you've already done this I'm way behind.

@fairytalelagoon @cullenssweatyballsakk @silhalei @picayune-artist @inquisiorastoria @violets-and-amber

[imaginebeautifulworlds]

Stupid // Himuro Tatsuya

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Himuro Tatsuya x Reader

Characters: Reader, Himuro Tatsuya, Kagami Taiga (for now)

Summary: Being friends with Tatsuya and Taiga was easy when you were children but growing up and noticing how their rivalry increased was not easy. Like how most things in life are, Tatsuya and Taiga grew apart but your friendship whith the latter became stronger. In fact so strong your parentes decided you would follow him to Japan, and you never expected what was going to happen there.

Notes: Hi! I've been gone for so long, and I'm really sorry. Life has been hectic, new job, dance classes, dance cover group, wanting to read, to write, to go out...I think I need days with 48 hours each to do everything I want to do, but these days I've been itching to write. This is a mix with what happens on the anime and my imagination so some things are going to make sense and others not so much. This is like a PART 1 of 2, it wasn't planned like that but it was getting too long (for me) and I wanted to post something; I'll try to upload second part as soon as I can since I don't have dance classes this weekend. Help, likes, reblogs, comments are always appreciated. English is not my first language so pardon me if anything is misspelled or grammatically incorrect. Enjoy!

MASTERLIST | Kuroko no Basket

Growing up in the States was hard, but growing up with mixed parents was even harder. Your father is Japanese your mom isn't. You were born and raised in the States, however you always felt like your Japanese heritage was feeling short, all the people you knew were white. That was until one day, you were around 10 years old, you unintentionally bumped shoulders with a sulking red head kid "I'm so sorry" "It's okay" he answered in Japanese rubbing his shoulder, you gasp "Can you speak Japanese" "I'm from Japan, I recently moved with my parents" "Really? Do you live nearby?" "Yes, right over there" he pointed at a building, which was right in front of yours "I live right there" you pointed at your building "Do you wanna be friends?" you asked timidly "Sure" he gave you a big smile.

You took his wrist and ran towards your building to introduce your new friend to your mother. Running up the stairs you opened your apartment door, with a very confused Taiga right behind you "Mom!, mom!" "I'm in the kitchen sweetie!" you walked towards the kitchen "Look mommy I made a new friend, he's name is…he's name is…What is your name?" you whispered at him "My name is Kagami Taiga" "My new friend, Taiga" you said proudly at your mother "He's Japanese just like me mommy" "Hi Taiga, I'm F/N's mom" "You know Japanese" he said surprised "Yeah, I knew a little bit before marrying F/N's father, and after we married I kept learning" she chuckled at the boy's surprised expression. "Does your mother know you're here" "Um, no…F/N" he tasted your name on his lips "Grabbed me and we ran here" he answered sheepishly "Honey, you know you can't just grab a kid and bring them here, their parents must be worried" your mother looked sternly at you "It's okay, if you want maybe we can go to my house and you can meet each other" you looked at your mother with very happy bright eyes "Yes, mommy let's go let's go, they live right in front of us" "Okay, let's go" your mom grabbed the keys to the apartment, and went to meet Taiga's mom.

From then on, your two families became very close. Your mom and Taiga's mom became best friends, as well as your dads. You and Taiga became best friends too, you two were attached to the hip, you didn't mind not having other friends. You've been there for each other in the most crucial moments of childhood.

Two years later, Taiga was walking home alone (you were sick that day) when he met a kid, Himuro Tatsuya, who invited Taiga to play basketball. The redhead was happy to make a new friend, he told Tatsuya about it on his way home. Once in front of your building Taiga said goodbye to Tatsuya and run upstairs to your apartment opening the door like it was his place. "It's Taiga" "Hi Sweetheart, we're in the kitchen" your mom said "Taiga!" you said as soon as you saw him "Hey N/N" he hugged you "How're you feeling" "Better, how was school?" "Meh, boring as always" "You can't say that" you said with a pout "It's true" he smiled "That's not the point, today I met a kid, he's awesome, he's a year older than us…and he's going to teach me how to play basketball" "Wow, really?" "Yeah, I played today a little bit because they needed one more player, but Tatsuya was so cool I wanna play like him" he was so excited, you got a little jealous "Hey you can't forget about me, I was your best friend first, got it?" "I would never forget about you" he rubbed your hair in an affectionate jokingly manner.

The next day, you had the pleasure to meet Tatsuya Wow he's really cute…wait what? you had never thought about a boy in that way before he was the first, but you dismissed the thought It's just because it's the first time I meet him, it's gonna pass. I have to remember what dad said: Boys are gross. "Hi, I'm Tatsuya" he offered his hand "Hi, I'm F/N and I'm Taiga's best friend" you took his hand and shook it, he laughed at the last sentence you said. You three went to a near basketball court, and while the two boys were playing you were reading; occasionally you would lift your gaze to see Tatsuya, but as soon as you caught yourself doing that you would shake your head and read again.

One day coming back from a match, Taiga told Tatsuya how he felt about the latter being an older brother to him. Tatsuya's response was to buy a ring for each one, it represented the brotherly bond of the two boys and their friendship with you. Later the two boys had to buy chains so the ring wouldn't bother them when playing, you did kept it as a ring, sighing a little bit because the older boy also thought of you.

For the next three years, you, Taiga and Tatsuya were inseparable. You kept going to their classes with Alex and their matches. They bribed you with books so you would keep going. You and Taiga kept being the best friends you've always been, but year after year your thoughts about Tatsuya kept increasing towards a more romantic side. At first you didn't know what was happening, so you confided in your mother, who told you: Honey, it's a crush, your first crush, she was really happy, your dad not so much, at first he thought you were talking about Taiga and he calmed himself but when you told him it was Tatsuya he said something about older boys trying to take aways his little girl. You didn't understand any of that. You kept your crush a secret from Taiga, because you still weren't sure what it meant. Tatsuya wasn't far from those feelings as well, growing up next to each other he saw how beautiful you were becoming year by year, but never said anything, he was afraid Taiga wasn't going to like him liking his best friend.

The last day of Tatsuya's final middle school year came, something all three of you dreaded because it could mean a separation, and though you three promised to keep in touch with each other, Tatsuya moved because the high school he got accepted into was far away. You were upset with yourself because you never told him how you felt, whatever it was, and he wasn't far from that feeling either but he couldn't do anything about it, after all he was moving away from you.

Next summer, you and Taiga are officially graduating from middle school "Finally high school Taiga" "No more school for two whole months!" "Really? That's the only thing you can think of" you deadpan at him "Yes, let's go or we are gonna be late for the match" he's so excited he's literally pushing to the door "Bye mom" "Bye guys, Taiga please take care of her" "Yes ma'am" he closes the door behind him.

You sit on the bleachers waiting for Taiga's game to start, while he was on the court talking with some other players. Knowing he wanted to came earlier and the matches aren't going to start right now, you take out your book and start reading.

After a while the cheers get louder, you know it's starting. Taiga's team has their first match and they win That boy has seriously improved since Tatsuya left you smile softly at your best friend who looks up at you and raises his arm in a winning manner, you give him a thumbs up. Suddenly people start murmuring when a new team enters the court Is that Tatsuya?, you immediately stand up and go down the bleachers' stairs. Once down, you take a good look at him and your heart starts beating rapidly when you see how Taiga and Tatsuya are smiling at each other I guess I haven’t gotten over him you chuckle at yourself.

The game finishes with Taiga as the winner, he immediately looks up at where you're usually seated but doesn't see you "N/N?" F/N? Is she here? Tatsuya thinks "F/N!" Taiga finally sees you and waves you over, Tatsuya spots you as well Wow, she's definitely prettier his heart beats at an unnormal pace I guess I haven't gotten over her. Closer to the boys Taiga says happily "Look N/N! It's Tatsuya" "Hi Tatsuya, it's been a while" you give him a soft smile "Likewise N/N" you blush Come on, get it together F/N…at least don't be so obvious "What if we all go for ice cream or hamburgers? I bet you're hungry" you ask "Sure" both boys say at the same time.

Sited with Taiga's tray filled with hamburgers, Tatsuya's with a big hamburger and a coke, and yours with a small hamburger and a vanilla shake, you start talking about Tatsuya's first high school year and your last year of middle school. "So you'll be going to the same high school?" Tatsuya asks "Yes, both our parents decided we should stick together "for this new life's adventure"" you make air quotes at the last sentence, Tatsuya laughs at your cute annoyed face "I'll be coming back as well, not same school but near, so maybe we'll see each other" "Of course we will, it'll be like before" Taiga says with his mouth full "Eww, come on Taiga don't be gross" you say. Looking at the watch on your wrist you look at Taiga "We should be getting back, remember your mom said something about having family dinner and you don't want to be late" with open eyes he swallows he last burger saying "Let's go".

With your buildings on view, Taiga gets a phone call "It's my mom, she must be expecting me" he says sulky "See you N/N, see you Tatsuya" the both fist bump, and Taiga starts running towards his house. "How are you feeling? You know, after Taiga won?" he chuckles dryly "Well, it's not easy being defeated by your younger brother, but I'm amazed at how much he has grown" "I know, who knew back then you would introduce him to his passion?" "We were just kids" "After you left, he continued to practice a lot, it's like his body asks him to play, it's kinda amazing" "How have you been doing?" "Me?" "Don't sound so surprise, we are also friends right?" "Yeah, of course, friends" Did I just get friend zoned? you think Did I just friend zoned myself? he thinks "Well, I've been good. Still good at studies, trying not to let him flunk" you both laugh "And accompanying him to his matches, and you?" you ask him "Well, adjusting myself to high school and improving my technique, but I guess it's still not enough" he chuckles dryly "Hey, you're still really good, you know?. I bet next game you'll win" you touch his forearm "This means you'll be cheering for me?" he puts his hand on top of yours "U-u-uh it means I'll be there watching the both of you" you say with pink covering your cheeks "Well, this is me" you arrive at your building "Do you have time tomorrow? To hang out?" "Ummm, yes I think Taiga and I have time, I mean it's summer vacation we don't have much to do, but I'm talking about his games" you say thinking about your schedules, but Tatsuya surprises you "No…I don't mean us three, but us two" he says embarrassed with a hand behind his neck "Just us two? Yeah, sure" you say a little bit too loud, and grimace at this "Great, see you tomorrow" he answers you with a big smile and red cheeks I really thought she was gonna say no "See you tomorrow Tatsuya" you inhale and, with an impulse of bravery, you tiptoe and kiss his cheek, leaving him breathless. Feeling how the bravery is leaving your body, you turn and run towards the building's main door, leaving a frozen Tatsuya touching his cheek.

You wake up the next day nervous about two things: Your date Nope, it's not a date just a hang out between two friends…even if I like him you sigh, and what are you gonna say to Taiga Should I tell him? No, he would freak out…or worst case scenario he would sulk for days and I prefer moody Taiga than a sulky one you shudder at the thought.

Deciding not to tell your best friend, you step in front of your closet What should I wear? He didn't say it was a date, so I should be casual but nice you nod deciding the outfit for today's hang out. Tatsuya texts you telling you he's in front of your building, coming up with a tiny little lie to your mom and to Taiga, you rush down stairs, take Tatsuya's hand and run until you're out of sight.

"Why did we just run?" he laughs "Well, I told Taiga I had a new book and didn't want to be interrupted, and I told my mom I was going out with Taiga" you say feeling a little embarrassed "Let's hope everything stays that way" you say defeatedly "Okay" he says a little sad, seeing this you add "It's not because of you…Taiga can get really sulky if he knows we're hanging out without him and mom will tell dad and he doesn't like you so much" you add the latter unknowingly "Wait, why doesn't he like me" "What" you open your eyes Damn it, did I say that out loud? "Mmm…he doesn't like boys in general" you say in a weird voice.

You walk towards a really nice cafe, one you mentioned the day before Did he remember what I said yesterday? You blush at the thought, it makes you feel special Did I get the place correctly? I asked my mom because I had no idea where it was  and she said she had heard of a place with this name "Is this the place you mentioned yesterday?" Tatsuya asks you nonchalantly as if he's not nervous about your answer "Yes, it is. I can't believe you remembered. We talked about a lot of stuff" your smile is so big and pretty his heart beats even faster than before.

A soft smell of coffee welcomes you once you pass the wooden door. The inside is better than what you've heard from people who have come. Their display is full of, what looks like, delicious pastries that make your mouth water. There is a young cashier behind the register, they smile at you "Is this your first time here?" Tatsuya and you nod at her words "Well, we recommend you our red velvet pastries and our cold beverages for these hot days" you guys read the menu and choose what you think will like the most "Those are great choices guys, you can pick a place to sit and we will take your order there" the cashier says smiling at you, you thank them and search for a place to sit.

At the very end of the café there is a place with beanbags and books. You decide to sit next to a big window with a beautiful view, with a not so tall table for your pastries and two (close) beanbags. You sit on one, and Tatsuya picks up his and brings it closer to you Does he want to be close to me? You can't help but think that and blush. "I can't help but ask Tatsuya, why did you invite me here today without Taiga?" you only want it to hear it. To hear you're not crazy and there can be something romantic between you two. Tatsuya's eyes open, he wasn't expecting that but he wants to be honest with you, especially if life can get in the way again "Well I" he couldn't continue because a waiter is putting your order on the table, you thank them and take a sip of the beverage "Woah, it's so good" you can't help saying that after the flavor hits your tongue She looks so cute when her eyes get big after something that excites her Tatsuya looks at you with love in his eyes while you're looking at the glass in your hands So cute, they're really in love the cashier thinks while looking at you two and turns around to continue with their work.

Putting your glass down you look at Tatsuya "How's yours?" you ask "Hmm?" Tatsuya looks like he's being brought back to Earth, you giggle "What you ordered? How does it taste?" "Oh, I haven't tried it" a blush creeps around his face and to hide it from your eyes, he takes the glass and brings it to his face fast drinking the cold liquid. He looks really handsome right now you start to feel hot but just blame it on the weather. "Oh…what were you saying just now, you know about being just the two of us" you have…need to know What the hell, let's just say it "Well (F/N) I like you, like really really like you…for a long time actually" he lets an awkward laugh at the last part "and I wanted to let you know before life decides for us again" he smiles at you "that's why I didn't want Taiga to be here with us obviously". You're in shock The boy I've liked for a long long time that is older than me actually likes me back you're still processing what Tatsuya told you and haven't speak yet, however the boy in front of you is processing things differently Damn, is she not into me? Have I made things awkward? Does she likes Taiga? "(F/N) you don't have to say anything if you do not like me back is perfectly fine…I know you've spent more time with Taiga and he is the one you li…" "WAIT! WHAT?!" you interrupt him with a scream, remembering where you are you look around you but it's still just the two of you in that section "I do NOT like Taiga…I like you Tatsuya for a long time" you smile timidly at him "I was just shocked because it never actually occurred me that you would actually like me, I mean you're older than me and you've probably met cuter and prettier girls while you were gone, and well I'm just me I'm nothing speci…" something that would never occurred to you happens. Tatsuya cuts your rambling by kissing you on the lips She just looked to cute rambling but I can't let her think she's not good enough when she's been on my mind all this time Is he kissing me? Just to cut off my rambling? How does his lips are like so perfect? as soon as you two break off the kiss you babble "Wow, my first kiss and with the boy I've liked for years…Wait did I say that out loud?" "Well it's a good thing this was my first kiss too" he chuckles at your bright pink face.

You two spend the afternoon holding hands, eating and drinking, and stealing tiny kisses. You've haven't been this happy in a while, however there's something that's bothering you all this time. Drawing little nothings on his hand with your fingers you ask in a tiny voice "Tatsuya, what about Taiga? Should we tell him?" "I'm not sure" he says copying your tiny voice "I love Taiga like a brother, but right now you're too important for him and I know he expects your head to be filled with basketball just like his, not to mention he'll think we'll be leaving him alone, and telling him about us…not that there is an us because we don't have label" you quickly add to not make him feel uncomfortable "Will you be my girlfriend?" he answers with a question, taking out a tiny box from his pocket and giving it to you. You open it, finding a necklace with the most beautiful pendant you've seen: A book transforming into a basketball "I wanted it to represent us" he smiles at you with a hand behind his neck showing a hint of embarrassment "It's beautiful Tatsuta, can you help me?" You turn your back to him, and while he's clasping it "I would love to be your girlfriend Tatsuya" you turn around and go for a kiss I'm really lucky to finally have her "About Taiga…even if it pains me to say it, we should keep it from him for a while, when we know he's ready we'll tell him" you nod agreeing with the idea and settling next to him with your head in his shoulder It's for the best, Taiga would be too shocked and I don't him to think we'll be leaving his side because of our relationship.

You come back that day to your house with a boyfriend and a new necklace. Your mom notices the latter and you know you have to tell her  which you do, and she promises to not tell your dad until you've told Taiga first because you know your dad would want to recruit him to scare Tatsuya Though I don't know if he would join since Tatsuya is his brother you think to yourself.

Summer passes by so fast. Dates with Tatsuya. Entire books. Hangouts with Tatsuya and Taiga. Basketball matches. Dates with Tatsuya. Wins for Taiga. Wins for Tatsuya. More books. More dates with your boyfriend. And something you were dreading happens.

You're seating on the benches with your book, however you're not reading it you're too anxious to do it. Taiga and Tatsuya right now have a tie and today's match would determine who's the winner, meaning who's better at basketball, and something inside you can't help but worry at the outcome. You have the pendant of your necklace between you index finger and your thumb in an anxious manner. Suddenly you see something…a bandage in Tatsuya's arm when he throws the ball, you now Taiga has seen it as well, the ball does not go in, and Taiga's team catches the rebound and passes it to the redhead…He missed and you know Taiga would have done that shot with his eyes closed He let Tatsuya win. In a moment everyone stars celebrating, but you know better Tatsuya won't like this, he would feel Taiga has no respect for him as a rival…or as a brother; you try to pass through the mass of people but they don't let you, and each second feels like a lifetime when you only want to find your boyfriend and your best friend.

After you're free from the people inside the basketball court you feel like you hear the guy's voices and start running towards you think they are. You finally find them, but it's not a scene you ever thought you would see. "TATSUYA!" you scream after watching how your boyfriend punched your best friend in the face, and run towards Taiga "Oh my God Taiga…are you okay?" you kneel next to the redhead trying to grab the side he just got punched "Why did you do that Tatsuya?" you look up at him "You wouldn't understand (F/N)…he…he has no respect for me…as a rival or a…brother" "That's not true Tatsuya, you're my brother I respect you so much" "Yeah? Then why did you let me win? Because you saw my bandage? You should have fought with everything you have and not just pity me" "I don't want to be rivals, I want everything to stay the same" "Is that right? This game is a tie. And on our next game I'll bet this ring" Tatsuya yanks his chain to show it to Taiga "Tatsuya…" you murmur. "Let's go (F/N)" Tatsuya says turning around and you don't know what to do "I-I can't" "What?" he looks at you and your best friend on the floor "Are you choosing him? Over your boyfriend?" he says with an incredulous look on his face "No, but I can't just leave him" "Wait, boyfriend?" Taiga says confused, a sarcastic laugh fills the air "Oh got it, he's wellbeing is more important to you than me, got it. Do you like him or something? Of course, best friends to lovers" Tatsuya ends his statement with anger and starts running as fast as he can "What?! No! Tatsuya! Come back!" Am I not important to her? Did he just doubt my love for him? Over this?

[lying-on-floors]

Levi is Mikasa's older cousin. He and Erwin adopted Mikasa after her parents died in a car crash when she was 7.

Modern AU things...

The AU

Some headcanons

Bertholdt has an older sister, Freya. Their father, Suraj, moved his family from India to Massachusetts after their mother died. Freya is working towards her medical degree, while Berthodlt is working towards his psychology degree. English is their second language, but they're both proficient enough that no one questions where they're from.

Bertholdt and Freya did classical ballet, and that's where they met Annie. She and Bert became friends soon enough, and then she met Reiner through Bert.

Colt and Pieck are childhood best friends, and she introduced Colt to Porco. The two men began dating after being friends for a few years.

Pieck and Porco always went to school dances together as friends. They tried dating once in middle school, but it never went anywhere, and neither were all too interested.

Marco and Ymir are first-generation Italian American, and both speak fluent Italian. Their mom moved from Italy to Massachusetts with her parents when she was 18. She met a second-generation Italian American man while going to a New Jersey college.

Gabi moved in with Reiner and Bertholdt when she was 16 after her parents divorced. Reiner blames himself because he has issues but also because his mom died and she wouldn't have needed to stay with her brother in the first place if he didn't cause his dad to leave. (His thoughts, the poor boy did nothing wrong.)

Gabi, Falco, Udo, Zofia, and Kaya carpool every now and then. Mainly, when Colt lets Falco borrow the car.

Gabi plays volleyball. Reiner and Bert often try to make it to her games. Her parents don't show up for her much anymore. They've kind of declined over the years as she's gotten older. Reiner's always been there for her. Colt, Porco, Falco, and Pieck often go support her, too. Zofia is on the same team. They support her, too.

Zofia and Udo have a sweet little relationship. They've been dating since their freshman year of high school. They're silly.

Colt, like his mom, is an artist. He specializes in portraits, which is the same thing his mom specializes in. They spent a lot of time when he was growing up painting together. Cecilia has always encouraged it. She keeps large boxes of all of her kids' art and creations, including Pieck, who is the honorary third Grice sibling.

Colt's mom, Cecilia, is battling cancer at 53. She was 48 when she found out she had cancer. The only person who knew, aside from her medical doctors, was Gideon, Pieck's father, her childhood best friend. He later died due to a lung infection.

When Cecilia was too physically ill to hide her diagnosis from her kids, she sat them down to break the news to them. Her best friend was dead, so she had to do it alone. Colt was kind of mad that his mom kept this from him, but he knew he would've done the same thing.

Colt and Falco's dad, Ben, died in a work accident when Colt was 13.

Porco's older brother, Marcell, died (ik I'm sorry :/) when he was little from an accident. Porco still struggles with it and confides in Pieck and Colt the most about it. They're the only two people who have seen Porco cry since Marcell died.

Carla Yeager adopted Zeke when he was young. She then had Eren. Grisha died because he sucks and I don't like him.

Zeke and Eren argue often, and Zeke tends to be a bit overbearing, but he means well. Both of the yaeger boys are a bit annoying but Carla is an angel.

Carla and Levi often have tea together. They're shopping and gossip buddies.

Colt doesn't have many friends outside of Pieck, his boyfriend, and Marco. He and Marco became friends in high school after becoming partners on a science project. They shared a drunken kiss, but nothing came of it. It's an inside joke now.

Bertholdt's childhood nickname, "Bear," has stuck to him for life. Only close friends and family use it, though.

Speaking of childhood nicknames, Jean's mom still calls him "Jeanbo." He doesn't mind it much anymore, but it is a little embarrassing. Marco teases him about it all the time, lovingly, though.

Annie and Hitch live a state away, so they don't get to see their friends in person that often, but they do FaceTime a lot.

Bertholdt and his family are all super tall. He's 6'3, his sister is 6'0, and his dad is 6'2. His mom was 5'10.

Connie is Afro-Hispanic. He's also a trans man.

Sasha, Connie, Jean, and Marco all became friends in elementary school after being in the same after-school club. (What was it? Idk, choose.)

Hitch and Marlow are best friends.

Colt spends a lot of time taking care of his mom, who has been getting better but is often on bed rest. She hides a lot of her pain from her kids, never wanting to involve them in it. She wants them to be as worry free as possible. She's a very strong woman and I admire her.

Jean hasn't come out to his grandad, Pops, yet. He's a devout Christian man who has talked about his hatred of queer people. Now, Jean isn't religious, but his mom and grandad are. He came out to his mom by accident. It was a drunken confession. She was pretty accepting of him, as she didn't share her father's views.

Marco and Jean often babysit Marco's young cousins. They're great babysitters. Historia and Ymir are like the fun aunts who probably shouldn't be left in charge too long.

Ymir is a chaos agent, and Historia is a chaos enabler.

This is all for now, I'll probably come up with more.

[inseparabiles]

I've had a McFucking week. All I want to do is lie down in a fucking tomb, cross my arms over my chest and decay.

At this point I can't even remember when the hell started. For a couple weeks now we've had an increasing amount of heart flutters and palpitations to the point of like... three a day which is not great, and was acutely starting to bother us. Add in our mum having a tumour removed, our neighbour fucking dying, and Reddit throwing three separate surprise! it's heart failure/cancer! threads on our timeline that we read without knowing beforehand it was going to be one of those threads - this triggered us back to that place where feeling or hearing our heartbeat and having absolutely anything weird or off happening whatsoever is suddenly a sign of Impending Death.

So, our Latin course has been moderately stressful. Not because of the Latin course, but because of people. We joined it to get passive exposure and "try out" the course and see how it goes - basically casual participation with no particular goals beyond "get better at Latin". No "speak Latin like a born Roman" or any shit like that, just "get exposure, complete course". Sounds fine, right? And it WOULD be fine, if not for the fucking group exercises. We did NOT account for group exercises. Enter these people who are not fucking having it with our skill level (on an entry level course marked for all skill levels and interest groups).

Have a woman who's completed the course several times (?????) demanding on our SECOND lesson that we should know what syllables to emphasise in pronunciation because "if you don't now it'll cause problems later" and "you should really be focusing on this" ma'am? we've been on this course for LITERALLY 24 hours. What the FUCK are you on about

Group readings and translations having also the idiot aspect of, we have a or several learning disabilities, which means we don't fuck with grammar theory. In. The. Fucking. Slightest. Grammar theory is NOT what we're on this course for because frankly learning a language to understand some meta level theory surrounding the actual language that I'm trying to learn is not at all within my interests, because we don't learn that way. Literally do not learn through grammar rules (WE CAN'T EVEN FUCKING LEARN CATEGORIES IN GRAMMAR MUCH LESS SOME ABSTRACT RULESETS, WE LEARN THROUGH PRACTICAL EXPOSURE + READING + PRODUCING) so it's not a focus for us and I'm sorry but I am not wasting a year of my life trying to teach our stupid brain that doesn't handle theoretical information normally some weird abstract concepts just so I can participate in a course that I can complete learning the thing that I actually want to be learning in the way that I am capable of learning it. However! These people! Start going off about how the key to everything is understanding that liibalaaba and blabverbs this and Christ's best buddy hologramjugation that, like okay! Fantastic! I don't know what any of that shit means! Can we just translate the fucking text!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately! Now we are so fucking panicked that no, we cannot just translate the fucking text. Hyperventilating and trying not to cry the whole page is just swimming and words that we absolutely know what they mean are instantly labeled as words we don't know because the stress is so high we've entered straight in the zone of "everything is gibberish I can't understand Finnish, English, OR Latin and I might as well give up trying (subconscious, NOT conscious decision, I can't force my brain to think it can understand when it's under such high pressure that it's locked up on us). And the people in the group are so fucking passive-aggressive about it, sighing and huffing and whatever to show that I'm such a drag on their group. Like I'm fucking sorry, what, I should have a master's degree at this reading after 48 hours of study?

The worst is, I kind of do? We've translated these chapters before the course and we understand them just fine. But NOT under these circumstances. NOT with sky-high stress levels and holding back tears and trying not to disconnect at random from the session.

So whey. Yey. Yay <3

Third lesson was fine but that's another thing. Fourth would have been today but unfortunately,

backtracking: so this stress in combination with the mum had a tumour removed and neighbour fucking died and we have inexplicable nonstop fucking heart vibrations from hell put us in a point where we're just in the highest state of alarm and stress all the time, it's NONSTOP fight/flight/freeze for days in row on an increasing scale. The group exercises was the last drop - we have a heart flutter/vibration middle of doing our homework, our entire left side of chest and shoulder and upper arm starts aching (probably because we're tensing it and priming the nervous system for pain signals :)), have a panic attack about it, take a sedative, call the urgent care evaluation line, evaluation line robot tells us to call the emergency number, call the emergency number, have a nice chat with a nice man for 10 minutes who determines we're not dying and tells us to call the urgent care eval instead, do that, spend 20 minutes with a cardiologist talking about the same, cardiologist determines we don't need urgent care but we need a TON of painkillers, redirects us to call fast-track number for regular GP.

Have no painkillers at home so we take a hike with partners and buy some. Don't die, so it's not a heart attack.

Next, find a Weird Fucking Lump on our jaw. Because why the fuck not. It's on the bone, hard to touch, unmovable. There's always been a bone Notch on there but it's definitely bigger now. Surprise, it also starts Fucking Hurting after being examined with fingers. It does not stop Fucking Hurting, instead it starts swelling. So do our lymph nodes.

I fucking hate this.

Decide to ignore it, decide to ALSO ignore the massive fucking rolling panic attack and just start doping up on meds (1 sedative + 2 ibuprofen + 2 panadol a day can cure most deadly ailments for the day), go on a cruise with partners, experience crushing fatigue like I've not slept in centuries despite getting a fucking 9 hour sleep every fucking night nowadays, whatever. Fall asleep on bus, fall asleep on partner on the couch, also never happened before, whatever, who cares.

Spend a decent day after three days on med course, central nervous system is starting to get the clue about the panic issue and pain is... fine. Latin course on third day is also Fine, I panic about the first group exercise, leave the room and translate the whole fucking chapter by myself, come back, and then have an okay time with the second group exercise because I already did the work and now nobody can treat me like a problem. A few minor erros mostly regarding plural/singular, I literally started this course this week so who the fuck cares.

Whatever is going on with our jaw has not chilled, however. It does not give a SHIT about the painkillers. Start feeling like flu-trash, achy, sore, dizzy, fatigued again, fall asleep on partner again, take a two hour nap, everything is so fucking swollen and hurts but okay whatever. I decide if it's time to die it's time to die I do NOT have any fucks left to give about this matter.

Sleep on it with my lymph nodes so big they ache ache ache fucking ACHE and the jaw one has a weird tingly sensation to it. Wake up for Latin class, evaluate that EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS from the throat up, and decide to call the GP after all, figuring they won't get back to us until like. Next year. They do in 10 minutes and send us off to speedtracked doctor's app next town over.

I wish to be dead at this point but not enough to actually die so off I go. On a fucking bus. Feeling like a ton of dirt. Dragging my feet and feeling like I'd rather be asleep and it'd probably be better for everybody but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Have two people prodding their fingers into my lymphs and bumps and stick stuff in my throat and ear.

Okay. Are you even fucking ready for this.

I'm diagnosed with the common cold and sent home and told to come back in about a month or so to get the weird bump (possibly a hardened lymph node) ultrasounded.

I wish to eat gravel at this point, and utterly bankrupt myself while waiting for the bus replacing my FUCKING SHOES which have GRAVEL AND DRY FUCKING GRASS BLADES coming through the fucking soles. Also buy rubber boots because we've needed them for years and apparently they'll never be cheaper than expensive so whatever at least I won't have to carry them far this time.

Waiting for bus after,

the fucking GP calls me back,

tells me I need to go get a heart film and fasting bloodwork done next week,

and I'm like. Sure. Whatever you say. WhateveR YOU SAY literally I'm so. Done. I don't care. Whatever. WHATEVER I just want to REST

and now I have FUCKING THERAPY in an hour and a half and I haven't even had my morning coffee and my everything still hurts and owie and ouch and fml and the UK announced all citizens need to prepare for missile strikes and that's basically the only news headline I've read today and I haven't stopped wondering like. How the fuck do you even prepare for that. Like, daily forecast, fucking missiles, put up an umbrella?

Why is life like this. What the fuck is even going on. I just want to read my histories and write my weird fucked up brostories and draw pictures and maybe, MAYBE pet a cat every now and then, and watch flowers grow. Everything has gone fucking insane and my lymph nodes are killing me and I just want to SLEEP

[solstices-dreams]

𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐠 𝐝𝐫.

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭. 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐫. ᝰ.ᐟ

— 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐭 𝟏𝟎 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬.

These are other victors in district 10. The victor village is actually an expansive field as most of us still keep cattle or crops. I live between Noah and Brie. Angus is on the far side of Noah.

— 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐤.

56 years old, he/him, no occupation (victor.)

He’s like Haymitch in the beginning of the series, minus the alcohol and later character development. He didn’t mentor well and passed it onto Brie as soon as possible. He even cheered when Noah was picked for the quarter quell instead of him. His house is very rundown as he doesn’t care for it much like Haymitch.

He competed in a game before the 50th, as he’s older than haymitch obviously. He hid most of his games and excelled with a spear and close form melee with a knife. (As most district 10 tributes are due to their district being livestock and most are trained butchers.) He’s lokey a crabby war veteran who hates talking about his past.

what he reminds me of : gray, musty clothing, dark caves (you can tell i don’t like him ☺️)

— 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐧.

32 years old, she/her, no occupation (victor.)

She was my mentor for my games. She’s a redhead with bangs and freckles. She’s currently married to her wife and was going to work as a butcher for her family till her games.

She won her games with an axe as it was closest to a butcher knife and her survival skills which she trains into her tributes. She makes the most spectacular food i just knowwww. (she & mrs. barret are gonna kept me feddd)

what she reminds me of : tea dragon books, freckles, spices, cooking, soup, hestia, a warm hearth, motherly aura, ren faire

— 𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭.

25 years old, he/him, no occupation (victor.)

I am closest with Noah due to his family and he’s closest in age to me. We briefly were pressured to date but realized we are better off as friends. (Even thought he was my first kiss 🫢.) He’s super respectful and very “i’ll have her home by 8pm, sir,” and shows up with flowers on the first date.

He won his games with a sword. He still practices with it, even before the 75th was announced. Early mornings he’s outside hitting an old practice dummy, the familar glint of it evident from my house despite the distance. I accompany him occasionally, sometimes he forces me to try it out.

what he reminds me of : peter pevensie, sunshine, freckles, harmless pranks, lego flowers, quality time love language, girls girl

— 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲.

Noah Barret’s siblings and parents (not pictured.) We are neighbours in district 10 and we are all close friends. They have a golden retriever named “holstein” as a pet.

— 𝐦𝐫𝐬. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭.

46 years old, she/her, wool spinner

Mrs. Barret is super kind and always keeps the back door unlocked on their house for me. She gives off classic motherly vibes, baking in the kitchen and she lets me be her kid too. She looks a lot like Vanessa and Posey. Her hair is more curly and blonde. She has smile lines she’s proud of along with her wrinkles.

what she reminds me of : southern mama, sourdough bread, floury hands, the penderwicks, fairytales passed down generation to generation

— 𝐦𝐫. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭.

48 years old, he/him, banker

Mr. Barret is stricter due to his worried nature. He always tsks about the back door being unlocked and says their dog will get lost because of it. He’s always cleaning his smudged glasses. Like the rest of his family, he is blonde but with a scruffy beard and a prim mustache. He’s nostalgic and old fashioned, enjoying slow dancing and gifts to show love. He dotes on his children a lot and he really likes having my family around, especially my dad because they were schoolmates.

what he reminds me of : harvey (stardew valley), coffee with milk, hardcover books, lazy rocking chairs, well loved stuffed animals

— 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭.

24 years old, she/her, wool spinner

Vanessa follows in her mother’s footsteps of being a woman of the house, cooking and spinning yarn after the shearing season. She has a strong sense of justice and wants the change in panem to happen. She was called a “bully” when she was younger because she told people what to do and was strong willed. She is a feminist and probably a little fruity.

what she reminds me of : vanilla, white blossoms, eldest daughters, alyss mainwaring (ranger’s apprentice), butter churning

— 𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭.

22 years old, he/him, livestock rancher

He was chosen for the 68th games alongside me and we formed a close bond, which tends to happen in the arena. He lost the games but we stayed friends especially because of Noah. He’s got a good poker face and it’s hard to tell when he’s joking because sometimes he’s so deadpan.

what he reminds me of : sunburns, teasing banter, sibling rivalries, disapproving younger brother vibes

— 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭.

16 years old, she/they, student

She gets along well with Mabel (my little sister). She is a “wild child” and free spirited. She’s chronically barefoot, always wandering through the fields and lakes in district 10. She can be really spacey sometimes but you can have super good conversations with her. She has really heartfelt compliments and her laughter is so beatiful sounding.

what she reminds me of : wild flowers, bunnies, luna lovegood, alice in wonderland, dandelions, oragami

— 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬.

These are other victors I will be already be friends with. They won’t be in the quarter quell but they are a part of the rebellion and will be in District 13. They are companions I met in my years mentoring.

— 𝐜𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐫.

D-2, 30 years old, he/him, no occupation (victor.)

He won his games at 15 and held the title of youngest victor until Finnick. (I know their snarky comebacks and snippy fights are gonna be goood) He’s very straightforward thinking, taking both options and choosing which one he believes is better. Compared to the other victors, he’s very levelheaded and down to earth.

He is a career but doesn’t side with the Capitol. He relied on his strength in his games and was skilled with a sword, spear, and other close range weapons. When we were both mentors we were drawn to eachother because we kept ending up at the survival stations more than the other mentors. He’s taught me the best way to make a fire.

what he reminds me of : coffee, parchment, tree bark, bear hugs, axe cutting, the snapping sound of logs in a fireplace

— 𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐰𝐬𝐨𝐧.

D-1, 28 years old, she/they/xe, no occupation (victor.)

She plays the Capitol, like Finnick, she has a different personality she puts on. When in the Capitol she gives off old money vibes, “I want it, I got it.” She’s determined, strong willed and extremely intelligent. In reality, she’s extremely sarcastic and refuses to let anyone walk over her.

She’s known for her dagger skills, using it as a melee weapon or throwing it. She’s also skilled with a sword, spear, and sickles. As she is from district 1, she was technically a career, but like James she doesn’t side with the Capitol and falls into a friendship with Cavalier & Finnick.

what she reminds me of : nymphs, dark academia, old money, golden jewelry, body glitter, ethereal women, athena

[willowsandwonders]

fuck it, a somewhat informal masterlist of all my published dsmp fics! all names refer to the rp characters I just don’t feel like typing c! over and over haha

it’ll be below the cut since it got kinda long o7 if you check any of them out feel free to hop into my inbox (or dms if we’re mutuals!) and talk about it! i want to get better about talking about my writing on here

undying: 4.6k words, a character study for Phil and his thought process leading up to reviving Wilbur. A lot of exploring about Phil’s feelings about destruction and loss. (I wrote this as speculative canon before they attempted an unsuccessful attempt to resurrect Ghostbur after Doomsday)

the war is over: 1.5k words. a bad end canon divergence set during the disc war finale in which I kill tubbo off without remorse <- there was remorse but I have an oddly high number of fics where tubbo dies vs other characters sorry king. this whole thing is a hurt no comfort situation

finally happy: 2.7k. an entry for the ill-fated rancord fic contest. (if any 2021 rancord mods see this I mean no disrespect, it was a ludicrously large amount of submissions to manage haha) canon compliant ranboo-centric exploring his life at the time when he told Sam that he didn’t want anything to change and he’s finally happy. the “mostly fluff with a side of ominous” tag encapsulates it pretty well

onward and outward: 1.7k. Chronologically the first dsmp fic I ever finished, but wasn’t published until later. Set and written during the exile arc with a focus on Tubbo and the day that he loses the “Your Tommy” compass. Largely exploring his willingness to self-sacrifice and suicidal ideation. This fic will always have a soft spot in my heart :,)

sum of your parts: 15.3k. stats-wise my biggest dsmp hit B^) a ranboo-centric 5+1 fic and all about my headcanon of half nether dragon ranboo—didn’t end up canon in the end nor did I expect it to, but it was a fun place to explore a lot of my hcs for him! this fic also has a healthy dash of Tubbo and Michael_B and a bit of Phil as well

three on a match: 5.8k. a bad ending canon divergence to the burger van arc—written before hitting on 16 and kind of funny in retrospect how I was so close and yet so far. In this fic, Ranboo sets off an explosion beneath Las Nevadas that accidentally kills Tubbo

new love language unlocked: literally dying for them: 14.6k. an emduo fic that spiraled way out of control that explores how techno and phil have different beliefs about what loyalty and devotion should look like—techno sacrifices himself to save phil when they find themselves in a bad situation and it takes them fourteen thousand words to even begin to talk things out. contains a hearty dose of my headcanons of how the life system works on the server and me having an absolute blast writing technos internal narration

letters and where they’re written: 6.8k. A canon compliant wilbur character study centering around the letters that he sent to phil and the picture he tried to paint in them vs the reality around them. this fic also has a soft spot for me because I was working on it on and off for like a year and a half. i feel like this fic has got some jokes but it also very much follows wilbur’s internal narration up to the point in which he committed suicide so. it does get heavy

Twin Planets: 7.6k. Written for the 48 hour mcytblr fic exchange! Emduo except I launch them into Sburb (for the uninitiated, h-mestuck au where they play a world ending video game). No clue to this day how I cranked all this out in two days but I had a blast. A lot of silly jokes and japes but also a hearty dose of pining to see your friend again after being trapped on different planets in a weird video game’s void session

to become alive: 33.7k (and ongoing). editing this has been kicking my ass but it’s on the move! there is also some incredible art embedded in it by the very talented improvapocalyps!!!! a ranboo-centric zombie apocalypse au in which he’s trying to figure out how to live after spending a large chunk of his life as a lab experiment. i turn dsmp canon into my plaything and create a world in which they go straight from nov16th to Tubbo starting to build Snowchester. as a fun teaser next chapter there will be chickens so tap in for that!

[emperortimesondistantworlds]

Absolutely. Here's a **mock police report**, written in a deadpan tone typical of overwhelmed Earth authorities trying to deal with inexplicable weirdness — with Petra and Gargamel Golomb at the center.

---

## **POLICE REPORT – MULTI-AGENCY INCIDENT RECORD**

**File ID:** 41C-77G-GOLOMB

**Date Range:** Ongoing (Earliest Verified Entry: \~2831 BCE)

**Compiling Officer:** Lt. Joanna Fields, Special Incidents Bureau

**Agencies Notified:** FBI / INTERPOL / Department of Energy (?) / Department of Unidentified Persons (DUP)

---

### **SUMMARY:**

This document compiles verified and semi-verified incidents involving individuals known as **Gargamel Golomb** and **Petra Golomb**, who have appeared repeatedly over the last 5,000 years in various global locations under multiple assumed identities.

Both individuals exhibit the following consistent traits:

* Total lack of verifiable birth records or national identity.

* Fluent in dozens of modern and ancient languages, often switching mid-sentence.

* Demonstrated limited access to or residual possession of unknown, non-terrestrial technology (most nonfunctional).

* Habitual impersonation of figures of power, divinity, or corporate authority.

* Unshakable commitment to elaborate and clearly fraudulent personal mythologies.

* Zero income, address, or employment history — despite claiming galactic or temporal authority.

---

### **RECORDED INCIDENTS (ABRIDGED):**

---

#### **Incident #0042 – Mesopotamia, \~2800 BCE**

**Description:**

Locals reported a “sky-cloaked emissary” (Petra Golomb) claiming dominion over the “River Civilizations Protocol.” Promised rain in exchange for worship and livestock. Rain arrived 9 days later (coincidental?). She left after a goat bit her.

**Outcome:**

Local legend interpreted her as a minor goddess. No charges filed.

---

#### **Incident #0175 – Florence, Italy, 1478 CE**

**Description:**

Individual matching Gargamel Golomb’s profile attempted to join the Medici banking family under the name “Garcamelli del Golombo.” Claimed to have a future-proof investment scheme involving “vibrational coins.”

**Outcome:**

Chased out by armed clerks after suggesting paper money was a lie created by time demons.

---

#### **Incident #1039 – Roswell, New Mexico, 1947**

**Description:**

Two individuals (confirmed visual matches) spotted near crash site, selling “gravitic rights to Earth” to a local diner owner in exchange for four slices of pie and a jar of pickles. Claimed Earth was “under celestial foreclosure.”

**Outcome:**

No charges. Diner owner now runs a cult. Pie unpaid for.

---

#### **Incident #1844 – Santa Monica, California, 2023**

**Description:**

Petra Golomb found sleeping behind a Tesla dealership, claiming to be “Regional Terraforming Auditor for Luxury Evacuation Group Alpha.” Attempted to pay for lunch with an object described by witnesses as “glowing sand that hums.”

Gargamel Golomb spotted hours later at a nearby job fair insisting he was a "galactic recruiter" with openings for immortality trainees.

**Outcome:**

Both detained for 48 hours. Released after psychological evaluation ruled them “delusional but deeply committed.��

---

### **CURRENT STATUS:**

As of latest update, the Golombs remain **at large** and have most recently been spotted:

* Attempting to enroll in a coding bootcamp under aliases “Gary G. Golem” and “Petronella G.”

* Selling “temporal protection insurance” to TikTok influencers.

* Posing as “independent galactic auditors” for a West Coast startup accelerator.

---

### **RECOMMENDATIONS:**

* Do not engage in barter or philosophical debate.

* Do not allow them access to public speaking platforms, no matter how convincing their slides are.

* If approached, refer them to the **Department of Anomalous Persons Holding Queue**.

* Under no circumstances should they be allowed to start a religion again.

---

### **NOTE:**

**Despite their grandiose claims and elaborate deceptions, they appear largely harmless — except to themselves.** The prevailing theory suggests repeated abandonment by advanced entities or networks due to unreliability, embarrassment, or weaponized incompetence.

Further observation is recommended.

---

Would you like a follow-up *classified government memo* on whether to neutralize or study the Golombs? Or a leaked **Golomb Self-Help Pamphlet** titled *“Reclaiming Galactic Dignity in Primitive Host Environments”*?

[week8interview]

Between Harvest and Hope: Real Stories from Filipino Farmers Navigating the Market Maze

In the heart of the Philippine countryside, beneath the heat of the sun and the rhythm of rain, smallholder farmers tend their land with patience, resilience, and a hope for better days. But while the soil is familiar and the crops are faithful, the journey from harvest to income remains uncertain, often ruined by unreliable buyers, unfair prices, and limited access to technology. We spoke to seven farmers from across rural communities to understand the daily realities they face in selling their produce and the quiet strength that keeps them going.

The Unseen Gamble of Selling For Anita Tumangob, a 48-year-old rice farmer with 1.5 hectares of land, the hardest part isn’t growing rice it’s selling it. “Finding buyers who are consistent and offer fair prices is difficult,” she shared. “Even if I go to the market early, there’s no guarantee I’ll find someone who values the effort I put in.” Her experience mirrors that of Leonard Fuentes, who depends on middlemen despite knowing they reduce his income. “Without them, I don’t have a way to sell,” he admitted. “So I’m stuck with them.”This dependency is echoed across the voices of many farmers, particularly older ones like Anita Ando, 73, who explained that “whichever buyer is available and willing to buy immediately is my choice.” For farmers her age, convenience often outweighs profit.

Middlemen: Necessary or Exploitative?

Middlemen are a double-edged sword; sometimes they are the only option, but rarely the best one. “They control the pricing and leave us farmers with very little bargaining power,” said Anita Tumangob.

Cristita Mante, 66, has used the same middleman for years. “He’s not bad, but I have no way of knowing if I could earn more elsewhere.” Like many, she doesn’t know where to find alternative buyers and lacks the tools to compare prices.

In contrast, some, like Anto Ancis and Enrick Acopiado, have chosen to bypass middlemen altogether. While direct selling gives them more control, it also demands more time, effort, and reliable transport resources not all farmers can afford.

Transport Troubles and Spoiled Harvests

Transport remains a critical bottleneck. Several farmers, like Leonard and Cristita, rely on borrowed or rented vehicles, often waiting days for availability. For crops like ampalaya, delays can mean disaster. “It spoils quickly,” Anto explained. “I had to throw away a lot once because I couldn’t sell on time.”

Those lucky enough to own vehicles, like Risalino Aranas, still face rising fuel costs and maintenance burdens. “A shared delivery system or community transport service would be a big help,” suggested Enrick.

Information Gaps: A Price Paid in Pesos

One of the most common frustrations is the lack of access to real-time market data. Farmers often sell blind without knowing the going rate or buyer demand. “If I had access to updated market prices, I could negotiate better,” said Anita Tumangob.

This information void often results in lost opportunities. “I once sold at a low price because I didn’t know the market rate that day,” Enrick recalled. “I only found out later I could’ve earned more.”

A Digital Divide Still Too Wide

Despite the potential of technology to connect farmers to better opportunities, most interviewees are still offline. Only a few, like Anto and Leonard, use mobile data occasionally to browse Facebook or YouTube. These platforms are primarily for entertainment, not business.

Older farmers like Anita Ando and Cristita don’t use smartphones at all. “They seem very complicated to me,” Anita said. Yet if tools were designed in local languages and with simple interfaces, some might be willing to try.

Records on Paper, Memories in Mind

Many farmers rely on notebooks or nothing at all to track income. “I just estimate how much I earned,” Leonard said. Others, like Anto and Enrick, are a bit more organized, keeping handwritten logs. But across the board, consistent and detailed recordkeeping is rare.

Looking Ahead: What Farmers Need

The stories reveal more than just hardship they highlight what’s missing:

Fair, accessible marketplaces without the middleman monopoly

Reliable transport support, especially during peak seasons

Real-time price updates and buyer directories to inform selling decisions

User-friendly digital tools in local languages

Training and trust networks to connect farmers directly with honest buyers

As these farmers labor under the weight of tradition, inefficiency, and market instability, their voices echo a common need: not just for better prices, but for better systems. Systems that listen. Systems that work for them.

It’s time to bridge the gap between farm and market with dignity, equity, and respect for those who feed us all.

[sunarots]

guys my age ━━━ sakusa kiyoomi

pairing. sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader

summary. sakusa kiyoomi, middle blocker for the famous msby black jackals, is known for his clean reputation, never drawing attention to himself through scandals. ever since joining the jackals, he's kept himself out of the headlines unless over something good. that is until he drinks a little too much and finds himself in the news for going home with someone he doesn't know.

tags & warnings. 16+, blended smau, fake dating, slow burn. age gap (20-25), strong language, discussions of sex, implied sex, slut shaming, alcohol use, kissing/making out, kys/kms jokes, mental health issues and discussions, innuendos, homophobia (ch.28), y/n’s friends are horrible people (mostly), ooc.

taglist. open! (48/50) send an ask/comment to be added <3

status. ongoing

additional. any images i use for the character of y/n is only intended as a reference and not to imply that is what you look like. i am going to try my best to use diverse images for these references, however it may not always be possible. that being said, i do not own any reference images other than the general social media images.

pinterest board

osaka’s worst students || the jackals

♡ = contains written portion

chapter one. who’s your girlfriend?

chapter two. who the fuck is sakusa kiyoomi?

chapter three. negotiations ♡

chapter four. hoes mad?

chapter five. first ‘date’ jitters ♡

chapter six. you’re pookie

chapter seven. the msby black jackals ♡

chapter eight. party time!

chapter nine. a series of unfortunate events ♡

chapter ten. dinner time ♡

chapter eleven. no, you don’t

chapter twelve. ground rules

chapter thirteen. integrating the friend groups ♡

chapter fourteen. the morning after

chapter fifteen. but… what if?

chapter sixteen. volleyball virginity

chapter seventeen. the first ♡

chapter eighteen. what was that?

chapter nineteen. mind the [age] gap ♡

chapter twenty. my boyfriend will kick his ass

chapter twenty-one. that was scary… ♡

chapter twenty-two. do you… ♡

chapter twenty-three. the y/n effect

chapter twenty-four. halloween! ♡

chapter twenty-five. he’s an onion

chapter twenty-six. cowards ♡

chapter twenty-seven. lunch date ♡

chapter twenty-eight. can i trust you? ♡

chapter twenty-nine. queen shit

chapter thirty. in for life

chapter thirty-one. NOT my child

chapter thirty-two. secret santa ♡

chapter thirty-three. you think?

chapter thirty-four. meeting the family ♡

chapter thirty-five. did you mean it? ♡

chapter thirty-six. never again

chapter thirty-seven. are we… ♡

chapter thirty-eight. merry christmas ♡

chapter thirty-nine. FOMO

chapter forty. happy fucking new year ♡

chapter forty-one. i’ll wait for you

chapter forty-two. lazy susan

chapter forty-three. 3 YEARS LATER