#yes I made this post on my old blog but I’m making it here now

[deityofhearts]

together we can make this haunted house a haunted home

[drewstarkeyyslut]

POLAROID GIRL📷 ᡣ𐭩

Summary: rafe wishes to take polaroid pictures of you after sex and he always gets what he wants ✨

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut (p in v), oral sex (throat fucking), choking kink, daddy kink, use of slut/whore, reader gets slapped on the cheek.

A/N: don’t mind me as i will be posting my fics from my old blog on here all over again throughout the week or so since i can’t just reblog them bc they are completely gone from there… starting off w/ my most popular fic🥺

You and Rafe had been making out, your tongues clashing and clothes being thrown on the floor. You were left with only Rafe’s favorite lingerie set on.

“Wait. I just had an idea.” Rafe beams, looking you up and down.

“What is it Rafe?” you shift nervously beneath him, not knowing what was going on in that head of his. It literally could be anything with him and that made you nervous.

“Just thinkin’ for a while actually but uh, how about I take some polaroids of you after I fuck you senseless…yeah?” Rafe implored with a devlish smile.

You weren’t exactly comfortable with taking photos completely nude. Shit, not even with the lingerie on either. Not that you were prude or anything but you’ve never sent nudes in your life to any man, ever. You look at him, dumbfounded as if you weren’t sure you heard him correctly.

“Come on baby. It’ll be fun, you know you can trust me” Rafe insists giving you that look you couldn’t resist. He basically jumps off the bed before you could answer him and walks towards the dresser to grab your polaroid and sets it on the nightstand.

At this point you roll with and decide to be spontaneous in the moment. You did trust him with your life. He barely let anyone look at you fully clothed so he sure as hell wouldn’t let a soul get their hands on polaroids of you completely naked and fucked out.

“Hmm actually…you know what babe? Yeah, fuck it” you bat your lashes and shoot him a wink.

“Yeah?” Rafe automatically reaches for the polaroid.

“Want some shots of you in that lingerie too” he winks.

You get on all fours as you arch your back towards Rafe as he snaps a photo, getting a good shot of your plump ass.

“God damn. You are the sexiest girl ever, y’know that? I’m lucky as fuck” Rafe stated, giving a slap to your ass.

“Ohhh stop it Rafe! I’m the lucky one here. Have you seen yourself?” You chime in.

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say just take the damn compliment princess and keep posing f’me” Rafe rolls his eyes.

He proceeds to take multiple shots as you pose for him until his dick starts growing painfully hard in his boxers. You notice this as you keep eyeing his bulge. He pulls his boxers off, cock springing free and slapping his stomach with a string of precum dripping off the tip.

“Fuck, baby. Look what you do to me” he moans.

“Soooo big Rafe, n-need your cock right now” you whimper, drooling at the sight of his hard cock.

Rafe hovers over you, arms caging you in.

“Yeah? I want to watch you fall apart” Rafe whispers in your ear.

“Well fuck me like you mean it then daddy” you smirk.

“Take this shit off now.” he demands, eyes darting to the lingerie on your body.

“Yes Ra—“ he doesn’t even let you finish.

“Nah, you’re going to regret that sweetheart.. you know what I want, y’know what to call me.” Rafe’s eyes darken.

“Sorry d-daddy I-I didn’t mean to” you stutter, quickly throwing your pamties off and unhooking your bra throwing it on the ground.

“There you go. That’s my good girl” Rafe takes a good look at your bare figure as he slips two fingers in your pussy.

“Mmm, all wet and needy f’me already huh? Do I really have that much of an effect on you?” Rafe teases, pulling his fingers out of you and sliding them into his mouth devouring your slickness.

Rafe offers no warning as he lines up to your entrance shoving his cock so deep into you making you scream. You shift beneath him completely caught off guard at the feeling of his cock stretching you out to the hilt. He grabs your wrists and pins your arms above your head.

“Ah ah, stop squirming ‘round slut. You can take it, I know you can. Take this cock like the whore that you are” Rafe grits. He continues to thrust, slow and deep into your cunt, making sure to hit your g-spot at just the right angle.

“It’s too much daddy, too big for me, don’t know if I can take—” you cry.

“It’s too much daddy” Rafe laughs, mocking you. He lets go of the grip on your wrists, wrapping one hand around your throat and the other hand grabs your leg throwing it over his shoulder.

This new angle drove him wild, it gave him a whole different feel of your pussy.

“Pussy feels so fuuuuckin’ good, love watching my cock slide in and out of this wet cunt. So tight, and grippin’ me so damn good baby” Rafe grunts.

Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, his cock sending you into a state of euphoria.

“Mhmm, pussy is all yours daddy, all yours to fucking ruin and do as you please” you whine, nails digging into his back leaving crescent moons and scratches.

Rafe is pounding into you at a faster pace now, movements getting more rough and sloppy.

He loved watching you cry, moan and scream beneath him. It turned him on even more seeing you in such vulnerable positions taking his dick so well.

“Oh my god, right there! RIGHT THERE Rafe! Feels sooo good, p-please don’t stop! m’gonna cum for you daddy!” you moan as you hit your climax, shaking and squirting all over him.

Rafe pulls away from you. “Shit, look at that, you drenched my cock you slut.”

“Want you to taste yourself. Get up. On your knees now.” he orders.

You do as he says getting on your knees. Rafe settles down in front of you. His length at full attention right in front of your face, exactly right where he wanted it. He grabs the back of your neck pushing you towards him, your lips now brushing the tip of his cock.

“Hey, hey. Look at me baby” he mewls, hand grabbing your chin.

His hands travel towards your throat giving it a good squeeze, the other hand grabbing his length giving it a little tug and without warning he shoves his dick in your mouth. You choke, gasping for air as you try to pull away.

“Stop movin’ take this cock in that pretty little mouth….yes, fuckin’ just like that, tastes real good hmmm?” Rafe teases giving your cheek a firm slap.

He’s holding your head to keep you still as he continues to roughly pound his cock into your throat. You couldn’t help but moan sending vibrations to his dick. You loved when Rafe used your mouth for his own pleasure, sure you couldn’t breathe, and he was brutal but it turned you on.

His thrusts start to get sloppy. He’s sweating, cheeks are flushed and his bangs clinging to his forehead.

“Shiiiit, m’gonna fucking cum. Oh fuck. Here it comes baby. Swallow all of it, you slut, every single drop” Rafe grunts, more profanities spilling from his mouth and moans filling the room.

He gives you no time to breathe as his hips buck and his warm seed shoots deep down your throat.

“Mmmm so so good daddy, always taste s’good” you praise.

Rafe just stares, completely enamored by you. In his eyes, you were absolutely still beautiful after being fucked out and ruined.

“My god, you’re somethin’ else. You pretty little thing. Pose for me baby girl.” Rafe kisses your forehead and gets off the bed.

He grabs his boxers and puts them back on as he grabs the polaroid once more snapping a few photos of you.

You were kneeling with your legs spread apart with your hands placed on the bed in front of you. Your hair is in shambles, makeup running, cheeks red, eyes still teary and drool dribbling off the sides of your mouth. Rafe takes another moment to admire you.

He suddenly grabs his pants off of the floor and pulls out his wallet.

“Babe, what are you doing? Are you going somewhere or something?” you ask curiously, giving Rafe a pouty look.

“No, no princess. Don’t worry. Umm, just… putting this sexy thing in my wallet for keepsake to remind me what I have waiting for me at home.” Rafe responds with a wicked smile.

tagging some moots: @drudyslut @rafesthroatbaby @babygorewhore @oceandriveab @rafescurtainbangz @anqeliclust

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ knockout x renji abarai

✧ summary there’s no better way for renji to celebrate a big win than to spend the night with y/n.

✧ content warnings reader described as a black woman who uses she/pronouns. feisty!reader, chubby!reader x undergroundfighter!renji. modern au — no bleach verse. told in first POV — renji’s. mentions of stitches and bruises. usage of profanity, praise kink, cowgirl position, nipple play, facefucking — renji will finish in reader’s, squirting. terms of endearment — baby, sweetheart, angel, etc. reader and renji are in their late twenties.

✧ author’s note hello, hello. i am here with a fic that’s not jjk for once in my life, lmfao. this idea has been in my drafts since january 2023, and it was just sitting there collecting dusts on my old tumblr. but i said i was going to do more bleach characters, so here we go. first time writing renji, so if this ain’t how you see him, oops. still enjoy. also didn't really focus on the underground!fighter portion as much. but maybe i will if there's a next time. support me by liking, commenting, and reblogging this post. i would greatly appreciate it. AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS AND MINORS— DO NOT INTERACT.

I know she told me not to come by after the fight, but I needed to. 

 I won.

 I fucking won, and there’s no other way for me to celebrate winning ten thousand dollars than to be with Y/N.

 Well, that’s if she’s still not mad at me.

 Before I left for my match, we got into an argument. A huge one. She doesn’t like that I fight for a living, let alone illegal underground fighting. I mean—I get it. Seeing someone you care about constantly getting his ass beat isn’t a sight worth seeing. 

 But fighting is all I know. 

 I had a shitty childhood. Didn’t know who the hell my parents were since they gave me up at birth for adoption. Jump around in foster care homes until the mothers got sick of me and kicked me out in the streets. Survival was basically forced on me.

 Fighting is what kept me alive. For food. Clothes. A place to lay my head. Whether I lost or won, I know the reason why I’m alive today is because I’m a fighter. 

 It wasn’t until I was eighteen when I found out about the world of underground fighting. Ten years deep and I know nothing else. 

 Y/N knows this about me. She understands I didn’t have it easy and never judged me. But that doesn’t mean she agrees with my lifestyle. 

 She came to a few fights in the beginning. Eventually, she got tired of seeing me stitched up almost every weekend. 

 Shit, me too. 

 However, after tonight, I feel good about my future wins. I busted my ass in training, so now I don’t have to hear shit about anymore losses. 

 Even if right now I’m stitched up and have a black eye. I feel good.

 Great.

 Better if Y/N opens the door after keeping me waiting out in the cold for the past ten minutes. 

 I know she’s awake. She has a habit of staying up late, studying for med school. And plus, I haven’t messaged or called her yet. Despite her not showing up to my fights, she still wants an update afterwards that I made it out alive.

 “Y/N, let me in,” I say, knocking loudly on her apartment door. “You know I don’t care about making a scene.”

 After a few more obnoxious knocks, the door finally swings open and I am met with deep russet skin, tight curls, and chocolate-colored eyes that pierce an annoyed look in my direction.

 “What do you want?” She bites out. “I’m busy.”

 I smirk and hold the bag of money in the air. “I won.”

 “Congrats.” Her tone is flat and she tries to slam the door in my face, but I placed my foot to stop it from closing. “Seriously?”

 “Yes, seriously. Are you really still mad at me?” I teasingly ask. 

 “You won. I said congrats. What more do you want?”

 I shrugged. “I’m locked out of my apartment.”

 She arches a brow at me, already recognizing my bullshit ass excuse of being locked out of my apartment. 

 Y/N knows me. She knows I would do anything to be in her presence, so going back and forth in forty degree weather is pointless. 

 Her pretty brown hues travels across my face and body, examining the stitches and bruises that probably has her wondering, who the fuck treated him? 

 Me. But that’s besides the point.

 A deep sign escapes her mouth when she realizes I’m not going anywhere until she lets me in, so she opens her door wider and turns her back to me to walk further inside her apartment. 

 “Sit,” she orders, which I happily do so while chuckling to myself. 

 While Y/N goes to the bathroom (assuming she’s getting a med kit to fix my shitty patch job), I take advantage of staring at her round ass that’s barely covered in those tiny boy shorts. Every step she takes it jiggles, creating an ocean of waves I’m eager to swim in.

 I get comfortable while I wait, taking off my skully, sweater, and any other form of heavy clothing that would cause me to sweat in her heated apartment. 

 “I’m going to start charging you if you keep fucking coming to my apartment like this, Renji,” Y/N snapped, walking with the kit in her hand as expected. 

 “Outside of paying for your tuition, I can think of other ways to repay you.”

 She rolls her eyes at my suggestive comment. “Get over yourself, Abarai.”

 I let out a snort before she stands in front of me and tilt up my chin to start making work on my face. 

 She’s cute when she’s mad. Huffing and puffing while whispering slick comments under breath. But how she’s handling my face by moving it around with force rushes blood straight to my groin.

 I’m getting hard.

 Hard as shit, and it’s not helping that I’m in close proximity with her. 

 That jasmine lavender scent that circulates through my senses. Looking up at her full lips that’s coated with gloss. Then, lowering my gaze to her tits that’s big, naturally saggy, and pretty. My mouth is watering at the sight of her nipples hardening.

 And I don’t know if it’s because she feels that I’m checking her out or the coldness outside is affecting her. 

 Either way, I’ll act on it.

 Taking it upon myself, I grab the back of her thighs to pull her on my lap. As if she’s used to my antics, it doesn’t catch her off guard and she continues to clean up my wounds. 

 “You’re all bloody up with a black eye and somehow you still have the energy to be a pervert,” she retorts.

 I move one of hands to her ass, massaging comforting circles. “For you? Yeah.”

 The quiet between us was comfortable until she opted to speak again. “So… who’d you fight?”

 “Some huge motherfucker. I thought I was going to die.”

 She leans back to grab more alcohol and dabs it above my brow. “Maybe that’s what needed to have you stop fucking fighting.”

 I throw my head back to laugh, but she grabs my chin to bring my face forward. “Like you want me dead.” My hands creep beneath her cheeks to pull her closer to me and apply more pressure to my cock. “That’s what you want?”

 “That came out my mouth, Abarai?”

 “Why are you still mad at me?” 

 She scoffs. “Why am I mad that you’re practically coming to me everyday with a busted face and broken ribs?” That’s one thing I love about Y/N—her feisty personality. It turns me on so fucking much because I know when I fuck her, it’ll be a different story. 

 Continuing, she says, “I think I would be a little more satisfied if you did this professionally as opposed to underground. Underground doesn’t come with insurance, Ren.”

 “Aw, you care about me that much?” My question was supposed to be posed as a joke, but the look on her pretty face says otherwise. 

 “Fucking asshole. I don’t know why I still deal with your ass.”

 “Probably because you love me.”

 “Probably not.”

  Gripping her hips, I pull her with me and lean back into the headrest of the couch. We’re inches away from our mouths cooling and I take advantage of this proximity by basking in her sweet smelling breath and beauty. 

 Simply because Y/N exists, my cocks hardens for her. Holding her in my arms. Feeling her pussy against my erection and breasts suffocating pressed on my chest. Girlfriend or not, she’s mine.  

 And she knows it. 

 I can see how she looks at me, even when mad, that she cares and loves me. Y/N is a tough girl. I can only imagine what she’s been through. Still, she manages to soften up just for me. 

 We never made it official since she doesn’t approve of the underground shit, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop asking. 

 “So when are you going to say yes to being my girlfriend?” I whisper.

 She tries breaking from my embrace, but I tighten my grip. “Renji…”

 “You feel my dick pressed against you, right? It only makes it harder when you say my name like that, Y/N.”

 “Be real with me… will you keep doing this shit forever?” Her eyes waver as she awaits my answer and I can’t help the guilt from pinging my chest. 

 “If it lessens my chance of being with you, no.”

 She searches my face for hesitance or deceit, however, she finds nothing because I meant what I said. Y/N is the only person that looks at me like I’m a human, and I wouldn’t let my obsession with fighting get in the way of our future together. 

 How she tucks her coil behind her ear and nips down on her lower lip shows me the bit of vulnerability she reserves for me.

 So—I take advantage of it. 

 In less than three seconds my lips were on hers. I take my time relishing those sweet, plump and plush, strawberry flavored lips.

 I can feel the skepticism from Y/N while kissing her, maybe because she’s trying to put on this show that she’s still mad at me. But soon, her rigid body melts into mine and returns the kiss. 

 Our heavy breaths mingle, increasing in speed the more aggressive we lock lips. She begins rolling her hips onto my cock and I let out a grunt, feeling the moisture of her pussy liquefying on me. 

 The slaps I leave on her ass are harsh, causing her to bite my bottom lip and suck it into her mouth. Y/N is so fucking aggressive it drives me nuts. She gives me a high and adrenaline not even a fight could give. 

 “Pull your dick out, Ren,” she orders through muffled moans and our kiss. 

 “Fucking bossing me around to give you cock? Not mad at me anymore?” Y/N ignores my taunt and works her hands between us to untie my sweats. I hiss at the feel of her cool hands engulfing my dick to give it a few pumps.

 She must not know what her touch does to me. She handles my cock like she owns it, and gosh, I fucking love that shit. My fingers gently tangle into her coils to deepen our kiss, but she soon gets up to strip her clothes.

 Fuck… Fuck, she’s so goddamn sexy. I’ll never get tired of her thick body, filled with soft dips and curves. I look at her, observe her like she’s an expensive piece of art hung up at a museum because that’s what I see her as. 

 Pretty pussy leaking arousal and I smirk to myself, thinking how she had all that attitude earlier while being wet for me like she didn’t want me inside of her.

 “You’re fucking beautiful. You know that?” I ask, massaging her tits and looking up at her. “You still have that attitude or are you going to come ride my cock like a good girl?”

 She gently pushes me back against the couch with her lips on mine and straddles my lap. “Depends on if you’re going to be a good boy and take this pussy.”

 “Shit, angel. I will.”

 Y/N hums while reaching around to align my cock with her sex. Two seconds later, she slowly sinks down my length until I’m buried into the hilt. That soft lingering fuck that slips past her pretty lips sounds sexy as hell and has my dick twitching in response.

 I can’t bust now. Not yet. Even if the tightness and heat of her pussy pushes me off the edge of a mountain. Her pussy is so warm, so fucking warm, fat, and wet. Gosh, I don’t ever think I can be without this pussy. 

 I throw my head back and savor this feeling, but Y/N had other plans for me. 

 “Remember to look at me when I’m riding you, Ren,” she coos. “Eyes on me, baby. I want you to see how much I love this dick inside my pussy.”

 Fucking Christ. “Tell me how much you love it while bouncing on me.”

 And she does just that. Telling me how big and girthy I am, that she’s sorry for giving me attitude and admits that she just wanted dick. But no. I want her to fuck me like she’s mad. I need that type of energy pumping through my veins after this win tonight. 

 I reassure Y/N and tell her to fuck me harder. Her pace quickens and slaps her ass fervently against my cock. I can’t stop moaning her name. The wet slippery noises coming from her pussy increases in volume and it creates a mess between us. 

 This is where I belong, deep in her pussy and feeling her walls squeeze the hell out of me. I don’t even hold her hips or waist. I relax comfortably with my arms sprawl over the top of her couch, watching how gorgeous she looks while fucking what’s hers. 

 “Oh, fuck, Renji,” she moans, tugging her lips inwards and lolling her head to the side in complete pleasure.

 Those perfect, full tits bounces in my face and I can’t help but stare and become mesmerized. Light marks that resemble tiger stripes decorated the valley of breasts. Her nipples, pebbled and straining underneath my gaze, look desperate for my touch.

 I take it upon myself to pinch them between my fingers and a soft shriek escapes her mouth, further arching her back. 

 Y/N keeps getting wetter by the second, every bounce she makes. And hearing her sticky arousal, I know and see how she’s creaming my cock.  Purposely, I sit myself on the couch, thrusting up in her a bit to feel my head hit her g spot.

 “Ren, help me little,” she begs through a whimper. “Fuck me back.”

 I caress her cheeks with the back of my head. “Yeah? You want me to help you, sweetheart?”

 “Please.”

 God, I love it when she’s needy for me like this. 

 In no time, my hands are at her waist and my thrusts meet with her jumping movements. Y/N isn't loud when it comes to her sounds of pleasure. Vocal, yes. But right now, her moans and whimpers are louder than usual. 

 It’s like she needed my dick inside of pussy just as much as I needed it. 

 I see the desire in her brown hues. I feel the heat radiating off Y/N’s skin while my fingers dig into her flesh, holding her in place to pound upwards into her pussy. 

 This is what I wanted—to fuck my girl after a well deserved win. And she’s going to congratulate me how I want. 

 My lips are at her neck leaving wet kisses and sucking her flesh until purple specks form. “Coming home to this good fucking pussy. Gosh, I love how you feel, angel. Going to fucking mean it now when you say congrats?”

 “Congratulations, baby,” she purrs, slamming harder on my cock. “You did good… so damn good, Ren.”

 I hum, dragging my tongue along her neck. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

 Y/N continues to gasps out her pleas for me to fuck harder. I comply… I comply in helping my pretty girl come and savor the look when she washes over me. My grips are firm on her waist, betting that’ll leave marks when she wakes up the next poor, and drive my cock deeper into her pussy.

 I’m in pure awe. I feel my own releasing catching up to me the more I watch her take me. This is my woman. My fucking girl. I come home to this every night after every fight to hold her in my arms and fuck her. 

 Her name from my mouth sounds like a broken record when I moan her name. This fat, gushy, slick and tight pussy has this power over me. She won’t stop fucking squeezing me, I can’t prevent my face from growing hot. It’s intense how I feel right now, and it’s all because of Y/N.

 “Good, good fucking pussy. God, you’re so fucking good to me, angel face,” I rasp, pecking her lips. “You’re going to come for me?”

 “Yes, Renji, baby. I’m going to come. Keep giving me that dick. Please don’t stop, please.”

 “Put your fingers in my mouth.” She does quick with my command. I suck on her digits and coat them well with saliva before pushing them out of my mouth. “Now rub your clit, pretty girl. I wanna see you squirt everywhere.”

 Because she’s overwhelmed with arousal, Y/N stops bouncing on my cock and allows me to fuck her while she plays with clit. Her mouth hangs gape, drool slightly coating the side of her mouth and breathing heavily. 

 My balls slap her ass. My head kisses her soft cushion repeatedly. Her velvet walls transfer warmth to my cock and the bubble that rests in the pit of my stomach is on the verge of explosion.

 I’m about to come. Hard.

 But I need her to come first.

 “Fucking come for me, Y/N. Keep playing with that pretty pussy and moan my name,” I grit out, pushing past all my thrusts. 

 “Right there, Renji. Keep fucking me right there… I’m–oh, fuck–I’m coming.”

 She’s so pretty when she comes. Dark brown porcelain complexion, slick with sweat. Eyes rolling to the back of her head. Pussy clenching and unclenching around my cock. Moaning, whimpering my name back to back. 

She’s breathless. Flawless. I have this image of her painted perfectly in my mind. Watching Y/N come, makes me come, so I make quick work to pull her off my lap. And she knows exactly what I want–to fuck my release down her throat.

 Her mouth is as warm as her pussy, and I let out hitched breaths and harsh grunts when she swallows me whole. I’m relentless when forcing her head down on my cock as I facefuck her. The gurgling noises she makes are obscene. Pornogrpahic, even. 

 And what caused my come to shoot through her mouth is seeing that she’s still massaging her clit, eventually squirting all over her wooden floors. 

 My hips stutter and I throw my head back to moan into the air. “Fuck, Y/N! That’s my fucking girl. Look at you making a mess while choking on my cock and swallowing my come.”

 Y/N takes it upon herself to wrap her lips tighter around my cock and massage my balls, ensuring every single last of my nut has released in her mouth. I take it for a while, but I soon become sensitive, practically feeling my skin being sucked off.

 “Easy now, angel,” I say through an airy chuckle. I pull my cock out and her mouth echoes a pop sound. 

 She whines a little because I’m no longer in her mouth and it causes me to smirk because it wasn’t too long ago where she acted like she hated me. 

 My hand grasps her chin and guides it upwards to meet with my eyes. “You swallowed for me, Y/N? Open up.” She nods, sticking her tongue out. “Perfect.”

 “You’re going to fuck me again?” She asks, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.”

 Gosh, this woman will be the death of me.

tags: @dejwrld @hvshinas @diamondoidxx @xxjazzxx @thegirlwonder1 @ryukenzz @maiapuhpaia @elitesanjisimp @amyrahrose @sweetpeachies @abigolemess @linastired @diorsbrando @starrygetou @niya729 (if i didn't tag you it's because tumblr wouldn't have your user pop up)

[avoxrising]

The Feral One • Epilogue

Finnick x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

Prequel is coming in a few months! I haven’t made a Taglist yet and probably won’t start one till I’m closer to publishing. I’ll make a post tagging this series’ Taglist when I’m starting the next one.

Content Warnings - Mentions of fertility issues/miscarriage; death; the end of this series (don’t worry it’s a good ending imo)

Dear Brielle,

A lot has happened in seventeen years. I’ve now lived half of my life without you, mom, and dad. I’ve been thinking about you a lot so my husband Finnick (yes that Finnick lol) said I should write you a letter of all the things I wanted to tell you but never could.

A little over ten years ago we killed President Snow. The districts rebelled and won. The war was brutal and there were times I nearly died, but Finnick pulled me through.

We got married a year later. We never really did the whole dating thing, our friendship just evolved into a beautiful romance overnight. He was there for me after you left and he has been here ever since.

The years since the war have not been easy. I’ve had bouts of seizures that leave me bedridden and ill for days. The doctors said my condition should be worse so I should be grateful. Countless medications and treatments have made slight improvements to my health but the pain will always be there.

Two years after our wedding we almost hit our breaking point. Finnick and I had been trying to start a family for over a year but nothing was working. It was the most frustrating experience of my life post-war and I do not wish those struggles on anyone.

Three years after our wedding, Mags passed of old age. Although we were sad, we were all glad she got to live out her last few years in a free Panem. Johanna decided to move in with Annie afterwards so she wouldn’t be alone. We are still neighbors to this day.

Four years after our wedding, I got pregnant, only to lose the baby a few months in due to a bad seizure. This was Finnick and I’s lowest point to date.

It’s now been a bit over 9 years since I married the love of my life and the father of my child. We were finally blessed with a baby boy, Neptune, 4 years ago today. He is everything I could have asked for in a child; rambunctious, kind, and adventurous. He looks just like his father but acts like his mother.

Two years ago, Neptune’s best friend arrived in District 4. Annie and Johanna adopted a little girl, Jodie, from District 7. Neptune and her do EVERYTHING together. Finnick keeps joking that we should build a tunnel between our two houses so the kids can hang out all the time.

All in all, it’s been a very painful 34 years of existence. Part of me is glad you didn’t have to witness what happened. The other part of me still hopes you’re out there, even though I know you aren’t. I hope that wherever you are, you’re at peace.

Love, your dear sister,

Y/N

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[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie:  Two emergencies in 7x1 illustrated Buck hasn’t dealt with his death

It appears the first call with the older onery couple and the second call with the burned car relate to Buck’s death and they seem to illustrate how he’s not over it yet.

These are my OBSERVATIONS and INTERPRETATIONS of two scenes included in 7x1 and other people’s may differ since everyone consumes and interprets media differently.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program…

Before I delve into this, I have to mention that I don’t think Buck’s over his death yet.  Does he want to be?  Yes but the fact is he hasn’t dealt with it and the first two emergencies in 7x1 alluded to it.

For those who read my post about my frustrations surrounding the fact that TM (showrunner) said Buck was tired of talking about death and he just wants to be happy (linked here), I’ve elaborated on why I believe he hasn’t dealt with it yet in this post.  I found two things in the first episode of season 7 that seems to prove my theory associated with the way TM might be saving Buck dealing with the fact that he ACTUALLY DIED in season 6 until after 7x6 airs since that’s Maddie’s wedding and the Buckley parents are scheduled to return.

I live blogged during last week’s episode but while doing so, I noticed so many things that I wanted to expound on but I wanted to analyze them first to see how they connected to previous seasons and episodes.  I watched the episode three more times for multiple reasons but mainly because I wanted to make sure I understood all the callbacks, hindsight, metaphors and foreshadowing.  This post will not include everything I found because it’s a lot but I will do several posts to cover the others.

While Buck and Eddie were in the locker room talking, Buck said all ND wanted to talk about was his death, it got boring after a while and he didn’t know why he thought dating a dEaTh DoUlA was a good idea.  Eddie responded, “Well you had just died” but then he said something else that caused me to pause because it was JARRING.  He said, “Welcome back to the land of the living Buck, you were missed” (more on this topic below).

Be clear, I’M GLAD SHE’S GONE AND I WISH THE SHOW WOULDN’T HAVE SHOVED THEM INTO A RELATIONSHIP.  If she would have helped Buck with the fact that he died like she was supposed to then all that screen time spent on whatever they had in season 6 could have been used to SHOW how he arrived at a point of just wanting to be happy at the beginning of season 7 but the audience didn’t get that.  The truth is, if he wasn’t opening up and talking about it (it’s likely he wasn’t since he’s not in therapy) then of course it got boring for him because he was doing what he always does, avoiding dealing with his own issues by trying to fix everyone else’s.  Reminder, he’s the guy who likes to fix things except for when it’s his own problems.  He avoids them the same way he avoided moving on from AC in season 2 which equates to the way he avoided talking to TK for a week so he wouldn’t have to break up with her at the end of season 5.

Also, Buck hides his true feelings and he said so in 4x2 when he was in a FaceTime therapy session with Dr. Copeland.  He said, “How I hide my true feelings from others”.  Additionally, in 6x15, he told Eddie, “The truth is I am different.  But I feel like I have to be the same old Buck, mostly for the sake of everyone else.”  These two statements he made along with the way he avoids things further substantiates the fact that Buck is hiding the way he really feels about his death and he’s pretending to be happy.

IMO, the first and second emergencies in 7x1 the 118 was dispatched to appeared to show where Buck is mentally.  I’ll start with the chair and the car metaphors in this post because they’re the ones I couldn't forget when I watched live.  After my initial viewing, I kept wondering why the man in the first call was not only sitting in a reclining chair but he was ALSO TRAPPED IN IT.  Additionally, I couldn’t get over the fact that Buck and Eddie were the only two on the scene of the second call with that burned car.  Not only was the car destroyed from the inside out; it was the question the owner of the car asked Buck that I couldn’t forget.  The chair and the car are the two items I’ll expound on in this post to illustrate how they relate to Buck’s death and I’ll include my opinion to explain how they might relate to what could possibly happen with him before the end of the season.

Call #1

Do these two GIFs look familiar?

They should because Buck and Abe are both sitting in arm chairs that are suited for only one person and they mirror the way Buck’s life could end up if he lives it the way other people want him to instead of him living it the way he wants to. The darker color in the suede of Abe's chair is similar to the color of Buck's leather chair. Also, Abe's chair is outdated but he still uses it so he doesn't have to deal with Edna.

In 7x1, Abe just wanted to be at EASE with his life while sitting and relaxing in his chair but his wife wouldn’t let him.  He was trying to watch TV but she kept knit picking at everything he was doing.  She was doing the whole “pay attention to me or else I’ll force you to do it and make your life a living hell while I'm at it” dynamic and it was annoying AF. They had been married for more than 30 years and they never had any kids but they were also miserable.  They hated each other and it appears they were in a marriage neither of them wanted to be in.  After the 118 arrived, Edna said, “He loves that chair more than the loves me”.

Furthermore, they had a couch in their home but it was just sitting there which means ABE REFUSED TO SIT ON IT WITH HER.  He told Chimney the fighter jet should have put one of them out of their misery.

Was the depiction of their relationship reminiscent of one from season 5?  YES!

In 6x1, Bobby told Buck he needed to take inventory of his life so he could be at EASE and when he did, he sat in his chair but at the time, since he had already given TK the boot, he didn’t have to worry about her doing to him what Edna spent 30 years doing to Abe.  If Buck would have kept on clinging to TK, then that could have been his fate.  TK was shallow and wanted all the attention on herself the same way Edna did and she proved it with her raggedy and immoral journalistic behaviors.  She had planned to throw the 118 under the bus in 2x6 but she didn’t get the chance to do it then since the LAFD’s lawyers were more powerful than her news station’s lawyers.  However, she jumped at the opportunity to do it a second time in season 5 when she didn’t have anyone to stop her.

Abe’s relationship with Edna gave the audience a future flash forward of where Buck could end up if he follows what some GA viewers want him to do.  Before he died, in 6x2, Lev told him his life went by in a blur and it was the reason he went to the happiness convention with his friends.  Abe chose the life he felt like he was expected to live with a wife and a house too but based on the way he was acting; it clearly wasn’t something he would have chosen for himself.  And he was so far from being at ease that he was miserable.

Additionally, Edna was a combination of every woman Buck’s ever dated.  She was older and had red hair which coincides with AC.  She didn’t care about what Abe was doing because she wanted him to do what she wanted which coincides with TK and also, she had red hair.  She was frustrated with him and what he was doing which correlates her to AM, reminder she didn’t like Buck’s job which is the reason why she left him with a cast on his leg after the ladder truck explosion.  Finally, ND was fascinated by Buck’s death the same way Edna was fascinated by the fact that Abe might not be ok.  She cared more about the chair being out of her house than she did about his well-being.  Their lives were miserable but instead of ending their relationship, they clung to each other just like Buck and TK did in season 5.

IMO, the couple represented the life Buck would have if he follows the path some people in the GA want him to.  Believe it or not, there are still viewers who want everyone to do things the way they did them, i.e., get married, have a house, have kids and work a job until they die and instead of wanting Buck and Eddie to experience the true love they clearly share to flourish and grow, for WhAtEvEr ReAsOnS, they’d rather they stay in relationships with the women who wronged, abandoned and ignored them. It appears they're choosing not to see how much they love each other and they would prefer them to “stick it out” in relationships with people who clearly make them miserable.

Reminder, in 6x15, Buck told Eddie, “I still don't know how to act. I am different but I feel like I have to be the same old Buck, mostly for the sake of everyone else” and I’ve always believed he was saying that directly to the audience.  It was aimed at the women who wanted him to keep waiting around for AC or those who wanted him to stay with AM because she had an adult conversation with him before she dipped.  Then there are those who wanted him to stay with TK because she was career driven (that’s a bunch of BS because journalists can be driven in their careers without being immoral, vindictive, callous or using people to get popular by writing a crappy book) and then there are those who wanted Buck to stay with ND (I know this may be hard to believe but there are posts that indicate “he knew what he was getting into when he dated her” 🙄).  Like seriously, they wanted him to stay with her because in their minds, she was perfect for him but haven’t all his girlfriend’s stans said that?  They have and the question they should ask themselves is, why haven’t any of Buck’s relationships worked (related post linked here and here) instead of acting like the women who treated him poorly deserved to stick around.  Also, Buck’s a ticking time bomb waiting to explode the same way that dummy bomb would have if it had gone off. However, just like on the call, Eddie’s going to be there for Buck but it’s unclear when or if he’ll be able to stop it from happening.

Call #2

The burned car was still smoldering but it was also hollow and charred to the core.  IMO, it was included as a call that only Buck and Eddie were allowed to extinguish as a way to illustrate how it’ll take both of them working together to repair Buck’s charred, burned and smoldering insides.  Reminder, in 6x10 he was struck by lightning and he died which means he’s probably feeling hollow on the inside and I think he feels all cored out just like that burned car.  While they were in the locker room, it appeared he was ready to talk to Eddie about the way he feels which is the reason why he may have invited him to go out so they could be alone and he could speak freely.  But he backed off when Eddie mentioned “Big date” and reminder, Buck was the one who assumed Eddie had a date with M (more on this below) but Eddie was talking about Chris' date.

After Eddie left, the audience didn’t see Buck leave so apparently, he went somewhere but who knows where since he wasn’t shown again until the next time they were at work.  If they had gone together, it would have been a date but IIRC, other than the poker date in 6x13, every time Buck and Eddie hung out in the past, they were at Buck's loft or at Eddie’s house.  Additionally, Eddie admitted he’s a nester which means he’s ok with them staying in like they did when they played video games and drank beer in the past.  The one time they went to a bar together in 3x11 doesn’t count as a date because the rest of the 118 was there with Albert.  I think Buck was extending an olive branch and trying to let Eddie know he needed him the same way Eddie tried to let Buck know he needed him before his breakdown in season 5 but when he finally broke, Chris called Buck and he came running.  I’ve always wondered how it will play out if Buck breaks down while he’s alone in the loft and I have an idea of how it will happen but I haven’t decided if I’ll post it on here.

When they were done, the car owner asked, “Is it a total loss or is…?” and Buck responded, “Uh… not total.” then he smiled, held up a pine tree fragranced car freshener, which is symbolic of an actual family tree because of the ROOTS, then said, “Have a good day”.  Buck’s biological family roots are about to come into question AGAIN (related post about the Buckley parents other deep dark family secret linked here) and guess what?  When they do, it’s going to rock him to his CORE and the only person who’ll be able to help him is EDDIE!  Buck’s not a total loss as the phrasing in the scene alluded to and Eddie KNOWS that! However, Buck will need for Eddie to tell him that over and over again until he starts to believe it.

I think the confrontation OS mentioned that’s supposed to occur between Buck and Eddie will be in relation to Buck’s self-worth and how he views himself.  There are a lot of people who want to move on from the fact that Buck died and rightfully so since he along with the viewers had to endure an entire season of him not dealing with his issues.  But the truth is 9-1-1 hasn’t moved on from it either and even though TM said Buck’s ready to find happiness, the fact still remains that Buck hasn’t dealt with the reality of his own death.

IMO, he will find happiness when he’s in a relationship with Eddie and reminder, Eddie’s the one who’s always trying to encourage him.  He did it in 7x1 too after Buck said, “You don’t want him to end up like me” but Eddie was quick to respond, “You didn’t end up like you”.  It was soft, pure and so full of love that it took Buck’s breath away.

Now be honest, would AC, AM, TK or ND have said that to him?  The answer NO!

I stand by the things I included in a previous post because Connor and Kameron are supposed to return some time around or after 7x5 and that’s when I believe the proverbial $hit regarding Buck’s self-worth will hit the fan since it’s likely they’ll have some devastating news for him about the baby.  Then the Buckley parents are set to return for Maddie’s wedding and nothing good ever happens to Buck when they do so it's looking like a trifecta of bad news for Buck (related post linked here).

Other than the time he spent talking to Chris at Eddie’s house, Buck was only shown at work during the entire episode and I believe that was on purpose.  It’s unclear when he’ll be shown in the loft again but when he is, that could be when the audience sees he’s not doing as well as he’s trying to get people to believe.  It’s likely the way he really feels about the fact that he died will be shown and if he feels like that burned car… it’s not going to be pretty or pleasant.

Eddie KNOWS Buck’s not doing well but he’s not going to push him to talk just like he didn’t in 6x12.  He’s going to wait until Buck’s ready then, he’ll have the heart-to-heart talk with him the same way he always does.  Reminder, Eddie takes care of Buck (post linked here) while Buck listens to Eddie and makes him talk (post linked here).  In 7x1, Eddie said, “Welcome back to the land of the living Buck.  You were missed” and I kept wondering why he phrased it like that but then I realized it’s because he knows Buck hasn’t confronted the fact that he died but he’s not going to push him, he’ll wait until he says he’s ready then Eddie will be there to take care of him like he always is.

Make no mistake, Buck’s happiness is with Eddie but he thinks he’s off limits since he’s “dating” M (please understand I don’t think Eddie and M are "seriously dating" and that's based on RG's responses about the character of M in his interviews. I’ll do a separate post on it explaining how the show and the actors have explained it in so many words).

TM used two BOLD contrasts in the first episode, a chair and a car, to show Buck has to deal with his death and it’s likely he'll continue to include these types of metaphors until he does.  Also, TM's comment about Buck being tired of talking about dying seems to be a bait and switch and he's trying to get viewers to look away from Buck’s death so they’ll forget he’s been hiding it, then they’ll be blindsided by it when he finally breaks. Reminder, after the Madney wedding, there will still be 4 episodes left in the season and what exactly will TM fill them with🧐?

Will Buck finally deal with the fact that he died this season since he didn't in season 6?  Who knows but based on the chair and the car, it appears his process of dealing with it has just begun.

[periracha]

Waiting

 ☾ pairing: Dad!Chan x Mom!Reader  ☾ wc: 2k  ☾  genre: fluff, boring domesticity (gasp)  ☾ cw: Christmas themes, kids, suggestive jokes, me trying to be funny idk, language, chan being chan ☾ summary: the bangs get in the holiday spirit!   ☾ a/n: wanted to get a whole aesthetic and masterlist up for this blog before i posted anything but this little idea had my brain in a chokehold all day so,,,,enjoy ! also, let me know if I should continue writing this family so i can give them names, etc.  yes this piece is fluff but this blog is 18+, MDNI

Ripples start to splash against the inside of your mug as you set it down on the coffee table that has been pushed aside for the evening to allow enough room for you and your husband. 

“Clearing the living room floor the second both kids are down and out?” Chan asks with a wiggle of his eyebrow. 

“Bit risky but I can work with this” he says while straining his neck and pulling his left arm across his chest in a stretch in preparation. 

You look up at him when a scoff falls from your lips, “ha yeah you wish. Now get the wrapping paper from the closet” 

“Please” you add with a sarcastic smile and sweet like honey tone. 

He blinked at you silently for a split second before he huffed out a big sigh, “Oh thank god. I don’t think my back could handle these hardwood floors like it used to” he finishes as he makes his way to the hallway closet. 

“Mmm unfortunately the only action these floors have been getting lately is spilled juice and probably some dusty cheetos the kids kicked under the couch” you joke as Chan meets you on the floor with wrapping supplies and gifts. 

A quiet laugh in agreement leaves his lips. 

“She’s gonna love this” Chan says with a grin so wide it meets his eyes. 

He’s holding up a Bluey plushie that plays a few catchphrases from the show when its paw is squeezed. 

“She better…. I’m running out of reasons why she can’t buy it every time we go to the store” you say as you cut wrapping paper big enough to wrap the doll and hand it to him. 

Your daughter had wanted this little plushie for months now, always asking to stop by the toy section whenever you visit your local department store. You quickly learned that simply telling her the store didn’t have anymore wasn’t gonna fly with her. She always found a way to swindle you into the toy aisles, finding the plushie every time. Distracting her with books or other small toys could only get you so far; luckily Christmas was only a few days away and you both would soon see the joy on her face when she opened her gift. 

“How do you even wrap these things??” Chan huffed out with a bewildered look on his face; his brows drawn tight and his eyes wide open. The piece of wrapping paper you had given him was creased all over, and covered in way too many pieces of tape that didn’t actually do anything to keep the paper together. 

A giggle started in your chest but you choked it down with a fake cough. Chan was used to being good at almost anything he put his mind to. 

Dancing? Easy.

Singing? No Problem. 

Writing thousands of unique songs that differed in their own ways? Piece of cake. 

Sports? Absolutely. 

Wrapping a small gift for his three year old daughter? Not so much. 

Carefully, you took the small doll from his hand and replaced it with a box of bath toys for your son. 

“Here, let me handle this…and you wrap these” you said nonchalantly as soon as you made the switch; immediately working on your new task at hand. 

Chan gawked at you with a goofy smile on his face, “You don’t think I can do it?...you’re demoting me to only wrapping boxes?” he laughed while feigning offense. 

“No no no!”, you waved off, “you’re just soooo good! Better than me! The best actually!” you rushed out while trying to contain your laughter but ultimately failing. 

Chan looked at you with pointed eyes, but had a wide smile plastered on his face the entire time. He looked like he was going to say something in retaliation but decided against it, letting out a small chuckle and shaking his head instead while he got to work on the box. 

Many presents later you were both feeling the ache deep in your lower back from hunching over on the floor. 

“Okay that's enough for me, I’m tapping out,” Chan said stretching his back with a yawn. 

You yawned and simply shook your head up and down in agreement, thinking about how you were too tired to even keep your eyes open. 

You got up and gathered all your wrapping supplies to store away. 

“Oh! Can you take all those and put them under the tree?” you asked him while pointing to the group of gifts. 

He hummed a quick mhm and started gathering them in his arms. 

“Make sure to put Bluey on top of the one of the taller presents so they can’t get to it” you called out as you made your way to your room. 

“Yep, got it” Chan quickly responded before placing all the presents down and making his way to follow you to your bedroom. 

~

The next day went blissfully as usual; waking up way too early to cries before the sun is even fully out, only to finally get your son back down and you barely back in bed before your daughter barges in demanding French toast stat. 

Did you even have all the ingredients for french toast? 

You already got one kid handled, Chan could handle this one.

You lightly kicked him in the leg as he laid beside you to wake him up before you made yourself comfortable to fall back asleep. 

When you did wake up, you grabbed your son and met your husband and daughter in the living room, setting him down to crawl around the rug.

“Good morning love”, Chan greeted you with a kiss to your cheek and sliding his arms around your waist in a loose hug. 

You hummed a good morning back before resting your head against his chest. 

“My turn! My turn!” your daughter yelled entirely too close to your eardrum as she stood on the couch in an attempt to be as eye level as she could with you. 

“Coffee?” Chan asked with a smirk as he let you go and made his way to the kitchen. 

“Ohhh yeah” you answered before turning your attention fully on your daughter. 

She puckered her lips and stood on her tiptoes in an attempt to copy her dad’s previous actions. You bent down and she kissed your cheek, “Good morning, mommy!”, she giggled before flopping down on the couch. 

“Oh it is a good morning!” you smiled back to her before tickling her to get some hugs in. 

Chan met you back in the living room with your fresh cup of coffee as you both sat on the couch, watching your children play together in the early morning hours. 

Your son crawled towards the christmas tree and before you could get up to grab him he had already bumped into a few presents, causing one of them to go off. 

“Hello! Hehehe”  

The noise immediately caught your daughter's attention and her head snapped towards the tree before her eyes widened. You could see the wheels starting to turn in her head to try and make sense of what just happened when you looked over at Chan who was sporting a mortified look. Jaw hung open and downward, eyes widening and moving around the room at everyone’s faces. 

The damn Bluey doll had gone off and one of her most wanted presents was most likely spoiled now. 

“WHAT WAS THAT?” she rushed out, walking closer to the tree.

“Your brother!” Chan blurted out way too quickly before tightening his lip into a flat line, realizing what he just did. 

Your daughter stopped dead in her tracks and looked at the both of you. 

“What???” she asked again, her eyes darting between yours and Chan’s a few times. 

“He can talk??, “ she screamed, bewildered at the new information being thrown at her all too quickly, pointing at him and eyes wide as saucers.

You let out a huff of air and forced yourself to take a sip of your coffee, hoping to buy you some time, waiting for your brain to kick on. It was too early for this.

Chan looked at you waiting for you to come in and save the conversation but you had nothing. How were you supposed to convince a 3 year old that her 8 month old brother could now speak when he’s never done that before. 

You’re on your own here. You thought to yourself as your eyes met Chan’s again. His face still stuck in the same shocked expression. 

“Uhh…yeah..yeah…?” Chan tried to get out nonchalantly but it ended up coming out more like a question and high pitched tone, before clearing his throat. 

Your son had now crawled toward your daughter and started grabbing at her legs to get her attention. 

You needed a moment to think but your daughter would absolutely follow you wherever you went to…. Unless…?

You coughed into your arm dramatically, “ooooh mommy needs medicine, I will be right back” you said before quickly standing up and making your way to the hallway cabinets before she could stop you.

Even the possibility of being around cough medicine, seeing it with her own eyes, was enough to keep your daughter from following you. She was not about to risk having to take that, yucky grape stuff, as she likes to call it. 

Chan followed after you, staying in the open area to keep an eye on the two kids. 

“So our 8 month old is saying full words now is he?” you asked, raising your eyebrows when he got closer to you. 

“I panicked okay!”, he screamed in a hushed tone. 

“So you blame it on the baby?!” you asked in disbelief, a laugh starting in the bottom of your throat. You tightened your lips in an effort to stop the smile you knew was coming. 

“What else was I supposed to say it came from?” Chan asked with a strained laugh, “you were no help!” he accused, pointing his finger and narrowing his gaze. 

“I don’t know Chan! The TV? Your phone?” you huffed out off the top of your head and throwing your hands in the air.

“Hm. yeah that would’ve been good”, he said staring at the floor, realizing just how easy those would’ve been to explain away to a child. 

He stepped back from you to get a better look at your kids a few steps away. His brow furrowed so you stepped forward to see what he was looking at. 

Your daughter was sitting directly across from your son with a serious expression on her face, no more playing going on in sight. 

“What..what are you guys doing?” Chan asked loud enough for your kids to hear. 

Your daughter looked back at him, “Waiting,” she said matter of factly before refocusing her attention back on her brother. 

“Waiting foorrr?” Chan asked, raising his eyebrows as you both took a step toward them. 

“Him to talk again” she answered without bothering to even look at Chan this time, her serious gaze never leaving her brother's face. He was babbling and drooling while playing with the legs of her pajama pants. 

You both couldn’t contain the laughs that came from your mouths. Today was going to be a long day. 

You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as you thought about your family’s antics. Never a boring day in the Bang household, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Hey Chan, what did you do with the matching talking Bingo we wrapped last night?” 

“Shit” 

©periracha, 2023.

[suemooon]

Origins of the Oncest ship: the history

Travelling in The Once-ler's fandom history | by suemooon

Welcome Oncelings!

to one of my most serious researchers I have ever done before, now, here’s a little explanation:

I wanted to make a fandom analysis using old posts, the way back machine, and other stuff to try to compare the once-ler fandom in its golden age and now, trying to suppose how it was and trying to see what happened there, but it would be later. Because I got a really interesting capture that I got while I was checking the Oncest tag in the wayback machine, and I got this:

IT QUICKLY GOT MY ATTENTION

Someone saying that they were the first ones to show the Oncest ship term.

I wanted to see if it was real and not a joke or something like that, so I copied the url of the tumblr and desired that the blog is still up, and I got it!!!

I explored their tumblr for a little while, and I noticed another thing, there’s a bunch of photos of the once-ler BEFORE the movie of the Lorax came out, this of course means that ye, there was some people who found the once-ler attractive and begun to share his pictures in tumblr (without any tag, if it wasn’t the help of this blog and some other ones, I probably couldn’t got them).

This makes a lot more sense than saying that the once-ler fandom was born after the came out of the movie I can say.

Those pictures belongs to all the Lorax trailers, in which ONLY appears the gray once-ler, not greedler. So we can say that the people who find him attractive in the beginning, the greedler was like a kind of “plot twist”

But the topic of the whole fandom will be for my another analysis, now let’s try to focus on Oncest.

2. Possible date of apparition

In my research, it seems that Oncest was born between 19th March, 2012, but where did I took this supposition?

Checking the dates between their first Oncest mentions (and also checking other old inactive once-ler’s blogs), there’s some important dates to make a highlight.

link to post: https://theambernerd.tumblr.com/post/19771248254/thank-you-all-you-lovely-people-for-following-me

In this screenshot, someone responds that this pairing has a name, this is from March 22, 2012, so the ship already existed and had a name too, so let’s check out the other blogs and their archives.

temporarilycheating

squidmama

Suddenly we see Oncest fanart.

The dates are between 19th and later, is this the origin of the ship?

Of course this is just a supposition, I had to see it at that time to prove it, but it’s not the case. All I can do is make suppositions.

You can take it as something true or fake, that’s your opinion.

3. Who was the original person who brought up with the Oncest idea?

This one was one of the most complicated things that you can try to research, we are talking about something that is 11 years old, so some pretty amount of information got lost with the time.

In words of temporarilycheating.

IT’S CALLED ONCEST BECAUSE I SAID SO! Lol but really…actually, I’m kinda the one who came up with the name in the first place… The pairing existed, but I think it was originally called twincest or something… But anyhow, in month one of the fandom, back when Sirsteeve made some of the first oncest fanart the fandom went CRAZY over the idea…and so did i. So I was sitting in my living room having a feels moment over this new OTP…but since the fandom didn’t really have a name for it, it made me think… It came to my mind that the fandom was somewhat dividing the once-ler into two seperate people of the same relation-oncie and greed-ler. To me, it sounded like incest. So I played around with that idea a bit in my head. And after saying incest repeatedly in my head I noticed the ‘ce’ in the word. I came to the conclusion to 'once’ in addition to the 'est’. thus 'oncest’. I had a fangasm and posted my idea to tumblr ASAP. Apparantly, it caught on cuz it’s still called oncest today and is widely known C: That has to be one of my greatest achievements in this fandom.

link to post: https://temporarilycheating.tumblr.com/post/25857778616/why-is-it-called-oncest

There's a small mention to someone named "Sirsteeve" who explains that were one of the firsts ones to draw Oncest.

I searched and their oldest Oncest post I found is this one.

Date: March 19th, 2012 by: sirsteeve ( hour - 5:22 PM )

So we have in our eyes one of the first Oncest post ever.

Is that the original Oncest post? I don’t know, it only says that is ONE of the first persons in the fandom who brought up the idea. Is it made by one person or a group of people? I don’t know.

Other very first posts about Oncest:

Date: March 19th, 2012 by: cartoonjunkie ( hour - 10:39 PM, 5 hours later after sirsteeve )

Date: March 20th, 2012 by: owlapin

Date: March 21st, 2012 by: rutella

4. Who gave the name of "Oncest"?

GUYS!!!! I KNOW WHAT TO CALL THE PAIRING!!!!! Y'know, once-ler/green suit once-ler!???? IT SHOULD BE CALLED ONCEST!!!! GET IT!? Its like incest, but with himself! :D WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK!? If you like the idea, reblog this to spread the word! :D

Date: March 20th, 2012

It seems it’s true, temporarilycheating was the one who created the Oncest term, we should give her more recognition for it!

link to post: https://www.tumblr.com/temporarilycheating/19650360910/guys

Conclusion

Second part? who knows. But the only thing I can say is… this one was one of my most complicated things to find, but now I got some important information. I'm here for you to share my knowledge!

I must say, I’m very proud of me for this, you guys have no idea how excited I got when I found these photos and data, maybe is not too much but I think they’re really important yet; this information forms part of our fandom history, and I think we should keep that information up and don’t lose it.

As a reminder too, as I already said once…

Oncest is like an icon for our dear Once-ler Fandom, whether we like it or not.

We can’t deny its existence, we can’t blame it, we can’t try to delete it, it always will exist as always the fandom will exist and some people like it.

And… My opinion about Oncest?

Well, I don’t hate it, I don’t love it thou, but I can like some posts about it, I can appreciate art from this ship, and it’s idea too.

Any reblog, like, and comment it's appreciated!

[lautski-week]

HELLO LAUTSKI NATION

I would like to welcome you all to the second Lautski week!

Here are the prompts, but all future plans for the event, FAQ, and notes on the survey from last week will be under the cut!

SO! First off! Thank you to everyone who responded! To the people who suggested future prompts, they’re all in consideration for future events. Except one of the alternates. I replaced one of the original alternates with “Fairy Tale” for my own sake, I salute whoever suggested that.

Surveys came pretty overwhelmingly in favor of making Lautski week a semi-annual event, with one week in the summer and one in the winter. So don’t be too surprised if this account is revived again in April/May. As long as people are interested, I’ll keep running it!

And now, some general Q&A stuff!

Q: What are alternates?

A: Alternates are two extra prompts in case one of them leaves you stumped! They can be used any day, or they can not be used at all! It’s up to each individual participant!

Q: Do I have to do all seven days?

A: You’re free to do as many as you want! You can do all seven, you can do just a few, hell, you could do all nine in you wanted! This isn’t a challenge, it’s an event. The main goal is to make some posts about this ship we’re all brainrotting for and having fun.

Q: What can I make?

A: Anything you want! Art, fics, edits, memes, etc. Nothing’s off the table.

Q: How do I post?

A: I’ll reblog anything made for the event to this blog and my main. If you’d like to be featured, please @ THIS blog. Additionally, I’d recommend tagging works with #lautski week so everyone’s works can all be found in the same place.

Q: I was late! Can I still post?

A: Of course! I’ll keep reblogging new posts tagged #lautski week and/or mention this blog through December 13!

Q: Can I post to AO3, then link it back here?

A: Absolutely! Also, I recently found out “Lautski week” was wrangled into its own tag on AO3, so I guess it’s officially recognized now 😭 Granted, it mentions my old URL and assumed it would be an annual event. Either way, Lautski Nation has truly made it I guess. But point being, yes, that’s fine!

Q: Can I post to (insert any other fanfic site here) then link it back here?

A: Same as AO3. Go ahead!

Q: One of my wips fits *insert prompt here!* Can I post it for that day?

A: You can, but please don’t post before the event begins!

That’s it. I’m pretty sure. If there are any other questions/concerns, feel free to DM or send an ask! I’ll rb this both here and on main periodically until the event begins, but until then, I can’t wait to see everyone’s works! See y’all soon and have fun! 💛💚💜

[venus-haze]

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter - Prequel (Yandere!Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Summary: There was no way you could have seen it coming…right? Or four instances where you could have noticed Elvis blurring the boundaries of personal and professional.

Note: This is based on an anonymous request, and as of right now will be the last thing I plan to write for The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter, because there’s other requests and series I’d like to focus on writing. I appreciate everyone’s support for the series, and hope you all like it! Please consider the warnings before deciding whether or not you want to read this fic. Do not interact with my blog or posts if you are under 18 or post ED/thinspo content.

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: This is a yandere fic, so expect dark themes such as emotional blackmail, obsessive and manipulative behavior, and abuse of power, which some people may find disturbing or triggering. Mentions of drug abuse. Kathy makes a brief appearance and I know y’all do not like her so I guess I’m including her as a warning. Do not interact if you are under 18.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Graceland, 1968

Being Elvis Presley’s personal assistant hardly felt like a job, if you were being honest with yourself. Something was always happening, and you never found yourself bored even in your downtime with all of the friends and relatives rotating in and out of Graceland at all hours of the day. It seemed like every day you were introduced to someone new—a friend of a friend from high school, an old army buddy, a cousin from Priscilla’s side of the family. You were having so much fun being part of such a chaotic new world that you almost forgot you were being paid until Vernon handed you your first paycheck, almost triple what you’d been making at NBC.

You were still getting the hang of being part of Elvis’ entourage, but you must have been doing something right, because he entrusted you with more tasks and responsibilities as the weeks progressed. Since you’d quit your job at NBC almost as soon as Elvis asked you to work for him, you needed to prove to your skeptical friends and former colleagues that you made the right decision by choosing the King of Rock n’ Roll over one of the biggest television studios in the country. The special wouldn’t be released for another few months, but you knew it’d shut them all up once they saw for themselves what Elvis could do.

Whenever he’d ask for your opinions on his reinventing his career, you still felt a bit of shock that he even bothered to ask, much less seriously take your opinion into account. It helped that whenever Priscilla was around, you and her seemed to agree on a lot of things. There weren’t many women in Elvis’ entourage, so you and her became fast friends, which meant hanging out poolside or having her do your makeup and bring you up to speed on the decade or so of inner circle gossip you hadn’t been aware of. Naturally, your friendship with Priscilla made you feel that much more guilty over the crush on Elvis you’d developed since filming the Comeback Special.

A few weeks into the job, Elvis had asked you to meet him in the living room, where he seemed to do most of his business. People always filtered in and out of the room, but it never seemed to phase him. As the two of you sat on the couch, your gaze landed on the mock-ups of his new private plane the ‘Lisa Marie’ and his plans for his upcoming world tour. That day, however, Priscilla had brought Lisa over to her parents’ place to visit. 

“You likin’ things here, Y/N?” Elvis asked, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Yes! This is the best job I could have hoped for,” you said. 

“You’re not just sayin’ that, are ya? I know things can be crazy around here if you’re not used to it.”

“I promise I’m happy,” you said, waving your hand toward the mock-ups. “I mean, who wouldn’t be?”

“A worldwide tour,” Elvis whispered, almost to himself. “You know, I’ve never toured outside the country before.”

“I’ve ever left the country either,” you said. “I’ve already applied for my passport. I’m so excited.”

“Y/N, where do you want to go?” Elvis asked. “Anywhere in the world, where do you think I should play?”

“I think Japan would be fun,” you answered.

He gave you a big smile. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

“I know the tour schedule might be tight, but I’d love to be able to do some sightseeing in Tokyo,” you said. “You know, your fan club there is one of the biggest in the world. You should try to meet with them, or the fan club president, at least.”

“Yeah, I get a lot of letters from over there,” he said. “You’re right; it’s the least I could do. I wouldn’t be anything without my fans believing in me. Sometimes I still can’t believe how much people like my music, or liked, I guess.”

“Once your special airs, you’re all anyone will be able to talk about,” you said. “Especially when you announce your international tour.”

“Thanks, Y/N. I know I can trust you to be honest with me.”

“Always,” you promised.

He had another meeting to plan his international tour later on in the afternoon, while you were stuck on the phone stalling with the people from Singer Sewing who were still on Elvis’ back about the special. You’d gotten good at coming up with reasons and excuses for why he couldn’t come to the phone, and no, you wouldn’t be accepting anything from their lawyers. It frustrated you, because the Colonel should be the one taking care of it, but it seemed like Elvis was trying to distance himself from his manager, which meant everyone trying to figure out who’d pick up which responsibilities in the meantime.  

The meeting had long since ended by the time you hung up on probably the sixth person from Singer who you’d spoken to. Wandering into the living room, you looked over the notes that had been posted on the touring mock-up board. There was one for each country he planned to hold a show in, Germany, Italy, Brazil, Australia, but you looked most carefully at the one for Japan, which had more written on it than the others. ‘JAPAN - per EP: 3 days minimum, Tokyo show, meet fanclub, sightseeing (?)’ 

“Did I get it all, darlin’?” Elvis asked, startling you as you hadn’t realized he’d come in. 

You turned to him. “I like the question mark next to sightseeing.”

“No questions about it; I’ll be sure we go somewhere nice in Japan.”

“We?” you asked, trying not to let your excitement show.

“Well, if you don’t mind an old man taggin’ along,” he teased.

You laughed. “Old man? You’re not old.”

“C’mon, Y/N, I’d have gray hairs by now if I didn’t dye it,” he said.

“I think you’d look good gray,” you said.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.”

He smiled, giving you a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, darlin’.”

You couldn’t help how your face heated up at this, bashfully averting your eyes from him. He carefully lifted your head so that you were looking at him again, and you could have sworn he would have kissed you, if not for the front door opening, and little Lisa Marie toddling in. You quickly shifted to the other end of the couch before Priscilla could walk in. Priscilla. Elvis was your boss, and at the very most you were friends, but he wouldn’t do anything like that with his wife around, and certainly not with you of all people, you reasoned to yourself, determined to shake off whatever crush you had on him.

Las Vegas, 1969

Somehow, the Colonel had convinced Elvis to postpone his world tour and take up a temporary residency at the newly built International Hotel in Las Vegas. After the six-weeks of shows, you all would finally be off to see the world. Still, the International was a gorgeous hotel, and you were thrilled when Elvis informed you everyone would be getting their own rooms for the duration of the residency, and to not worry about using room service or any amenities. Sure, the first few nights you went a little wild in the casino and ordered steak and lobster up to your room, but after that, everyone seemed to settle down and focus on bringing the upcoming show together.

All things considered, you figured it made sense for Elvis to test his new show for smaller audiences before bringing it to larger stadiums abroad, especially since the International was covering everything. He could afford to make changes and go as big as he wanted. Electricity was in the air, and you couldn’t get enough of it. The sky wasn’t even the limit with the newly minted ‘Lisa Marie’ ready to fly.

Elvis had asked you to join him in the showroom, as he looked over the stage again and spoke to some of the people who’d be working on the technical aspects of the show. There wasn’t much for you to do, so you wandered around the opulent auditorium, taking in your surroundings. It was the perfect place for Elvis to perform, and with how much Elvis had been talking up the new ideas he had for his show, you couldn’t wait to see it.

“Pretty impressive, huh?” an unfamiliar voice said, as you reached the back of the showroom.

You turned around to look at the man, “Yeah, it’s the biggest on the Strip, right?”

“That’s what they say,” he nodded. “I’m Jake, by the way.”

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You gonna be in the show, or?”

“No,” you laughed. “I’m just Elvis’ assistant.”

“You work with Elvis?” Jake asked incredulously.

“Is that surprising?” you wondered aloud.

He grinned. “I just figured a woman pretty as you would be one of the showgirls or something.”

You giggled at the compliment. It’d been a long time since you’d been flirted with, spending so much time with Elvis’ inner circle and all. Jake’s attention definitely wasn’t unwelcome. He was handsome, with blond hair and eyes that were blue—or were they green? You weren’t close enough to tell. He wore a t-shirt that was definitely a size too small on purpose, because his muscles looked like they were straining against the thin fabric.

“What do you do around here?” you asked.

“Stage lights,” he answered. “I used to bartend at this other hotel, but I got roped doing lights one night when there was no one to fill in for one of my coworkers and–”

Elvis shouted your name, his voice echoing through the showroom. “Y/N!”

“I’m so sorry. I have to go,” you said.

“Don’t want to keep the king waiting,” Jake said, a playful grin on his face. “Why don’t you meet me at the bar later? Say, nine?”

“Nine is perfect,” you smiled.

Elvis yelled for you again, louder this time. You rushed down the stairs to the stage, where he was standing with his hands on his hips. He was frowning, his eyebrows furrowed as he glared in the direction where you had run over from. 

When you approached him, he shook his head, clicking his tongue at you. “I don’t pay you to play heart-eyes with stagehands, Y/N.”

Taken aback, you stammered out a response, “I–he just came over to me and–”

“And nothin’!” he snapped. “Both of you should be workin’. I shouldn’t have to call for you twice, especially at a time like this.”

“You’re right. I’m so sorry,” you said. 

You were trying not to let it get to you, but Elvis had never been angry with you before. It was the worst feeling you’d ever experienced, a pit forming in your stomach at being the subject of his ire. He’d done so much for you, and now, at a pivotal moment in his career, you were letting yourself get caught up with a stagehand you barely know who said a few flirty things to you. Your eyes stung, and you were sure if he scolded you more, you wouldn’t be able to hold back your tears.

He stared at you silently for a few moments, his hands clenched into fists before he sighed, his expression softening. “I need you more than ever, darlin’. Just try to stay focused, okay?”

You nodded, your voice cracking a bit as you whispered, “Okay.”

Despite Elvis’ best attempts to reassure you throughout the day, you still felt guilty. People kept stopping you to ask if you were okay, and you were embarrassed that you let the small altercation affect you so much. Even when Elvis dismissed you early for the day, you couldn’t bring yourself to follow through with meeting Jake at the bar that night. He’d probably hate you, but you’d rather he hate you than Elvis. 

Instead, you called it an early night, waking up far too early the next morning by Vegas standards, but you couldn’t fall back asleep as much as you tried. Feeling cooped up in the luxurious hotel room you were calling home for the time being, you decided to get ready for the day and hang out in the hotel restaurant for a few hours. You grabbed a few fashion magazines and made your way down to the first floor of the hotel. The restaurant was practically empty, and you didn’t have to wait long for your breakfast to be done.

About an hour later, the restaurant started filling up more, and you noticed Jerry walk in. You waved at him, and he walked over to your table, taking the seat across from you. 

“Hey Y/N, how’s it going?” he asked.

“I’m alright,” you answered. “How about you?

“Good, I got all that shit with Jake taken care of. What a sick motherfucker.”

“Huh?”

“EP told me all about it, why you were so upset yesterday. I got it worked out with the hotel manager. You won’t have to worry about him anymore,” he said before scoffing. “It’s like these places will hire anyone nowadays.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, despite not having a clue as to what he was talking about. Jake seemed nice, but from your brief encounter with him, you didn’t really know much, but he certainly hadn’t made you upset. You supposed if Elvis found out something bad enough about Jake to have to go to the International’s manager about him, you were better off not worrying about the situation. Besides, like Elvis said, you had your job to focus on, with opening night only a few weeks away.

Denver, 1970

The US tour was busier than you could’ve expected, and you didn’t even want to imagine what the world tour would look like in comparison. It did trouble you that the tour dates were so close together. Elvis didn’t have time to rest and relied on Dr. Nick to shoot him up with whatever he had in his bag to get him to sleep. You knew the Colonel recommended Dr. Nick, but you didn’t trust how he seemed to prescribe Elvis all sorts of pills and potions without a second thought. Besides, what kind of doctor only went by their first name anyway?

Regardless, the American leg of the tour was well-received so far, and you were spending more time with Elvis than ever despite the chaotic schedule. You had been especially excited for the Denver show, since your sister Kathy lived in Boulder. When you mentioned it, Elvis didn’t hesitate to offer you two tickets to the show and the night off to catch up with her before jet-setting to the next city.

You were looking forward to seeing Kathy again, even if it would only be for a few hours. The two of you were close growing up, and though you’d drifted apart as you went to college and settled down in different states, you kept in touch as much as you could. You took a cab from the airport to the restaurant in Denver that Kathy wanted to go to, and practically ran over to her when you saw her waiting outside.

As soon as the two of you were seated, she went ahead and ordered a bottle of wine, and you knew you’d be in for a whirlwind of a dinner. 

“So, what’s he like?” Kathy asked, wiggling her eyebrows as soon as the waiter left.

“Who, Elvis? I’ve already told you, he’s nice and funny, and he always seems to care about what I have to say.”

“Not that, I mean in bed.”

You stared at her, dumbfounded. “Why would I know that?”

“You’re telling me you haven’t made a move?” she asked. “From what I’ve heard he fucks anything with a—“

“He’s my boss, Kathy. I don’t think of him like that,” you lied. “It’d be inappropriate, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that to Priscilla even if I were interested.”

“Seriously? Y/N, when you said you dropped your job at NBC like two years ago I figured it was because you and him were sleeping together, and he wanted to keep you around. I mean, why else would you have done it?”

“Because I believe in him, and he’s a good friend, and—what kind of person do you think I am?”

“Okay, I’ll drop it,” she conceded, clearly displeased with your answer. 

The rest of the night was nice, but you couldn’t shake the discomfort at what Kathy had said at dinner. You’d made it clear you were Elvis’ personal assistant, but if your own sister assumed you were just there to scratch his itch whenever his wife wasn’t around, you didn’t want to consider what everyone outside of the Memphis Mafia and the backing band and singers thought of you. 

The schedule was far too busy for Kathy to meet Elvis, which you were previously apologetic about but had become glad for. You and Elvis were close, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to give you hugs or kiss you on the cheek. He was just a sweet guy, not afraid to be affectionate with the people he cared about; it was something that you loved about him. After shows he would run off with girls sometimes, but he always went out of his way to see you beforehand, just to talk and ironically check on you. The last thing you wanted was for Kathy to misinterpret that. 

You and Kathy parted ways after the show, and you half-heartedly promised to call her when you got back to Memphis and fill her in on how the rest of the tour went. You had to book it backstage to catch up with everyone and not miss the plane to the next city. A security guard didn’t seem to believe your all-access pass was authentic, and you found yourself arguing with him.

“Can you just go back there and get someone? They all know me,” you said in exasperation. “I have my pass. I don’t know what else you need.”

“That Colonel guy said people might try to get back here with fake passes.”

“Mine is real!”

The security guard didn’t answer. You felt like you were slamming your head against a brick wall. Even if you did make it outside in time to catch up with everyone making their way to the cars, you weren’t sure you’d be let through now. Just as you were about to try arguing again, one of the doors opened, and Jerry walked out, looking surprised to see you.

“What’re you doing out here? EP keeps asking for you,” Jerry said.

You glared at the security guard, who was emotionless at the confirmation that you weren’t lying after all. Following Jerry backstage, you waited for the door to completely shut behind you.

“He thought my pass was fake,” you said. 

“It looks like everyone else’s.”

“Not to him, apparently. He said the Colonel told him that people might make fake passes to get to Elvis.”

Jerry rolled his eyes. “The Colonel’s got some nerve talking about fake paperwork.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it right now, Y/N. Like I said, Elvis has been looking for you,” he said, pointing to where Elvis was standing backstage.

You walked over, and he engulfed you in a sweaty hug. 

“Y/N, I’m never lettin’ you take a night off again. Every time I didn’t see you there I felt like my head fell off.”

“I don’t think I’ll need another one for a while.”

“How’d things go with your sister?”

Before you could answer, everyone was being ushered out of the building to the cars that were waiting out back. You ended up in a different car from Elvis, which gave you time to think on the way to the airport, but you knew that it wouldn’t be a long conversation, since Dr. Nick usually gave Elvis whatever medication to help him sleep within ten minutes of him stepping onto the plane.

You followed Elvis to the back of the plane, where you sat across from him. You didn’t want to talk about Kathy or what she said, it would be humiliating. As soon as he sat down, though, he picked the conversation up right where it had left off backstage.

“Alright, Y/N, how’d it go? Y’all catch up? She like the show?” Elvis asked.

“Yeah, she loved it,” you said. “She thought it was amazing.”

“Well that’s good, but you suddenly don’t seem so excited.”

“I just—she said some things that made it seem like I gave her the wrong impression of our relationship. I’m just worried other people might get the wrong idea too,” you confessed.

“Darlin’, you and me both know we ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong. You’re one of the only people I really trust anymore,” he said, placing his hand over yours. “Maybe you should be careful who you talk to from now on. People outside of our circle, they don’t understand what this life is like.”

You smiled. “You’re right. I don’t know why I let her get to me.”

Dr. Nick walked over, and you nearly failed to hide your disdain as he opened his medicine bag. “Wonderful show as usual, Mr. Presley.”

You couldn’t stand to look, let alone be around, when Dr. Nick would inject Elvis with whatever poison he’d chosen for the night. You didn’t know how to bring it up to Elvis, though, but you knew it would catch up with him eventually. Sitting toward the front of the plane, you chewed on your nail, waiting for Dr. Nick to finish up giving Elvis his ‘prescription.’ When the so-called doctor emerged from the back of the plane, you wasted no time in returning to where you had been sitting before to check on Elvis.

“Y/N,” Elvis muttered drowsily, “you’re back.”

Tears pricked your eyes. “Of course I am.”

He hummed. “You mean everything to me. Y/N, I–”

He passed out before he could finish his sentiment, and you took his hand in yours. You couldn’t bring yourself to call it sleeping, did he even dream when he was in that state? Was he lucid enough to feel or hear? You would drive yourself crazy thinking about it, but you mostly didn’t want to admit that you loved Elvis too much to keep seeing him like that, but you couldn’t leave, it’d be the opposite of helping him to abandon him when it seemed like no one else was looking out for him. If no one else was willing to take up the responsibility, you supposed you could handle it.

Graceland, 1971

After Elvis’ second national tour, you took a week off to visit home and see your family. You called home as much as you could, but it was tough to get anyone on the line when your schedule was so unusual. Having a full week with them would give you the time to catch up on all of the details of working for Elvis that they could never seem to get enough of, and also spend quality time with you, which happened less and less as the years went by.

The longer you stayed there, the less it felt like home. You hadn’t realized you’d replaced memories of your childhood home with those of Graceland, confused when your house didn’t behave the way the bustling mansion did, from the building itself to the people. Even your childhood bedroom was unfamiliar compared to your room at Graceland or even the International. You were almost relieved when your vacation was cut short on the fourth day by a call at three in the morning that you could hardly understand.

“Y/N, darlin’, you need to come back, please,” Elvis sobbed over the phone.

“Elvis, please slow down and explain to me what happened,” you said gently.

“‘Cilla left me, took Lisa with her and I–I need you right now. I’m sorry but please come home.”

Home.

“I’ll take the first flight out in the morning,” you promised.

“Call me as soon as you know which one so I can send the car for you.”

“I will.”

He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn’t make out, but when you heard him sobbing again, the line cut out. Sighing, you began to pack your bags, to the chagrin of your parents who had not only been woken up in the middle of the night but also losing three days of seeing you. You gave them apologetic hugs and promises to come back soon before leaving for the airport to try to figure out how soon you could get to Memphis. The stewardess informed you there was a flight to Memphis at seven in the morning with seats available. 

“Hey,” you said.

“Y/N, when are you gonna be here?” he asked.

“There’s a flight at seven I can take, so I’ll be there before noon.”

“Noon, I’ll see you by noon,” he repeated.

Your flight seemed to take forever, and you were sure the flight attendants wanted to throw you out of the emergency door for how often you asked what time it was and how much longer until you landed. The sun shined strong on Memphis when you walked out of the airport and to the car that was waiting outside for you. Drab city streets blurred past you into greener suburbs and finally to the estate that was Graceland. 

As the car pulled up to the curb, you practically tumbled out the door as you rushed into the mansion. The curtains were open, the only source of any light in the place. It was chillingly empty, almost feeling like you’d arrived too early to a funeral. 

Taking in a deep breath, you called out, “Elvis? It’s Y/N!”

The response you received was a loud sob which echoed through the nearly vacant house. You ran upstairs, and opened his bedroom door, only to find it empty. 

“I’m in here,” he croaked out.

You saw him on the other end of the hall, standing in the doorway of his parents’ room. Walking over to him, you felt your heart break at how pathetic he looked–hair unkempt, face red, tear tracks dried on his cheeks. As soon as you were within arms’ reach, he grabbed you for a hug, crying into your shoulder. 

“She’s gone. She don’t love me anymore.”

“Elvis, I’m so sorry,” you whispered, stroking his hair.

“Did you know?”

“No,” you answered honestly.

He stared at you, where you looked and how you spoke when you answered. He was trying to see if you were lying or not. Oh, that’s why the house is empty.

“Will you stay with me, Y/N?” he asked. “I know I made you leave your folks’ place early and you probably hate me, but I can’t be alone right now.”

“I could never hate you,” you whispered. “I’ll be here as long as you need.”

He seemed to take what you said to heart, because he settled down enough to sleep not long after that. You felt strange, watching him sleep in his parents’ bed. When you shifted to try to get up, he stirred, and you definitely didn’t want to wake him when he was clearly so exhausted. Through the night, he clung to you, and you woke up entangled with him.

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Until We Meet Again Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. In a LONG POST, I’m writing today about New Siwaj’s incomparable drama, Until We Meet Again.]

TW: suicide, suicidal ideation, psychological trauma

Gah. I am so psyched to be finally sitting down to write my thoughts on Until We Meet Again, but I’m actually at a bit of a loss on where to start. There is SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

I think, where I can start, is to first say that this was, in my opinion, AN ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR SHOW. I did NOT expect this, at all. I’ve been around the way with New Siwaj, the UWMA screenwriter and director, a few times now for the OGMMTVC -- his writing on Love Sick, his work with Cheewin on Make It Right, and his work on MAME’s novel in Love By Chance have all been on the OGMMTVC list. I know that Between Us, the UMWA WinTeam continuation, was considered mostly a let-down for weak writing, and that New’s more recent shows, including A Boss and a Babe and Double Savage, were viewed quite critically (although I am a Double Savage apologist, for which I’ll explain my viewpoints later in this post). 

So. What I did not expect from 2019′s UWMA was to experience so many layers in a drama à la the work of Aof Noppharnach. Yes, I cannot believe I’m going here, to compare a New Siwaj drama to Aof’s oeuvre, but damn if I will, because good lord, New took his magic hat of tricks, pulled out THE GOOD STUFF, and made it all work. 

This is a list of themes that I saw in UWMA, that will help me structure this long write-up, but by no means should it be considered complete, as I’m sure I’m missing themes that you all likely caught in your watches and re-watches:

1) A new narrative structure for New -- balancing the impact of side couples by leveraging focus, equally, on two MAIN couples 2) The continuation and end of the 2019 trend of reincarnation and spiritual connections to love 3) Intergenerational queer trauma (micro-level) 4) Generational acceptance of queerness (macro-level) 5) Food and its Proustian effect on memory 6) Reflections on filial piety and the devastating effects of expectations -- and how children and parents seek redemption, particularly in New’s work

And before I even dive into THIS list, can I just say: MY GOD, FLUKE AND OHM. And Earth and Kao! But FLUKE AND OHM. Jesus, does New have an eye for talent -- from the Make It Right guys, to Perth and Saint, and then to Fluke and Ohm. I was seriously TAKEN with their chemistry. I did hear from a number of folks during my UWMA live-blogging that they can’t rewatch UWMA because of Fluke/Pharm’s rendition of the blushing maiden trope, but for my tastes -- I think the way he rendered the trope was really necessary to communicating Intouch’s story, history, and emotions, and just -- Fluke just ATE this role, my gawd. And Ohm/Dean responding in kind vis à vis Korn’s regret. YOW. It’s been a few days since I finished the show, in a total RUSH of drama hunger, and I’m still shaking my head and MARVELING at their performance.

Okay, back to the themes list. So, early in my Thai BL journey in the fall of 2022, after I had watched KinnPorsche and The Eclipse as my first two Thai BLs, I watched A Tale of Thousand Stars (way before the OGMMTVC was born), and noted that I appreciated the lack of side couples in the ATOTS storyline. I now realize, through the OGMMTVC, that side couples are both a BL trope and a byproduct of the drama styles from which BLs were born, the ensemble-based dramas like Love Sick, Senior Secret Love, and Kiss/Kiss Me Again.

New’s Make It Right -- while beloved in my heart, for the chaotic duos of TeeFuse and FrameBook -- WAS messy, with all the other couple stuff happening around it. That, along with Love By Chance, made me wonder -- why do BLs that center fabulous dyads with sizzling chemistry take away from that energy with all the side couple action? Even Together With Me, a non-New Siwaj and non-GMMTV drama, got sidelined in part with a VERY questionable side couple plot in BrightFarm.

Reflecting back on KP and The Eclipse, I had that question in mind as I started UWMA, and wondered where the Alex and WinTeam storylines were going to go. But, frankly, I ended up appreciating what NEEDED to happen with DeanPharm and KornIntouch, because -- the original novel storyline clearly demanded that these two couples, who were NOT side couples, but MAIN couples, needed a MAIN spotlight for their collective story to be told. @clairificusrex mentioned in a liveblog comment (THANK YOU, LOVELY HUMAN!) that New Siwaj benefitted in the screenplay from having a wonderful original novel to work with, and while I don’t read Y Series canon, I can only imagine that this was indeed the case.

So, New, in order to hew to the novel, had to perhaps hold back his usual instincts to muss up the main couple vibe, by centering DeanPharm and KornIntouch. With that control necessary to the story -- I think the narrative STRUCTURE of the drama just blew open. It was FASCINATING, it drew me in, and the structure allowed for another New predilection to be leveraged WELL, in his love for flashbacks. @lurkingshan, you mentioned that your taste wasn’t necessarily aligned with New’s fancy for flashbacks, which I totally understand -- I think flashbacks hurt the overall narrative structure of Double Savage earlier this year. But I think, here for UMWA, they were necessary, and I might very well be apologetic to that considering what I DID see in Double Savage by way of the story that New ended up screenwriting over there in regards to intergenerational family trauma (again, more on this later in the post).

This narrative structure lent itself handily to the next four themes on this list, all of which deal in memory, in spiritual roots, and/or in the generational passage and inheritance of trauma and emotion. 2019, as we know now, was a big year for shows themed around Thai spiritual culture and/or reincarnation. We have He’s Coming To Me, we have Dew the Movie -- we have art here, queer-centered art, that does not lend itself to happy endings, that depicts, through reincarnation or, in the case of HCTM, a ghostly purgatory, how DIFFICULT it had been to be comfortably queer and/or openly out in past and present Thailand.

And then UWMA comes along, telling TWO generational stories, intertwined by the red thread, but also, in the words of the WONDERFUL @bengiyo, connected by Korn and Intouch’s intergenerational queer trauma, the most PERFECT coinage of a theme for this show. In 1988, when Korn and Intouch die, they cannot be out. They cannot even be SECRETLY in love. Their bad dads use the foulest of language to describe their love (much like Phop’s dad in Dew). And Korn kills himself, and Intouch follows.

And what we learn, through Dean and Pharm, are the emotions, the regrets, the LEARNED BEHAVIOR that Korn and Intouch have picked up on in the afterlife, embedded in Dean and Pharm, that keeps Korn and Intouch’s love alive, with CORRECTIONS and ADJUSTMENTS made by Dean and Pharm that reflect on how not only Korn and Intouch’s love has changed and improved, but also how Dean and Pharm are learning how to love EACH OTHER, themselves, as they adjust to their OWN belonging to each other, in Pharm’s own words. GAH -- my aching heart. (Thank you to @lurkingshan for talking this through with me early on in my UWMA watch.)

I mean. THE DEPTH OF THIS. Intouch is a terrible cook, and Pharm is like, a restaurant-level chef?! Pharm is so resistant, and Dean is so FORWARD? (OHM THITIWAT, GAH!!!) (Listen. Pharm. P’Deeeean can grab MY butt, okay?) (See what I did there, @lurkingshan and @bengiyo? THANK YOOOOUU.)

And Pharm’s blushing maiden approach. Yes, I will also admit, that sometimes, it was a little cringey. But I think the blushing maiden trope was really necessary to the story -- ESPECIALLY IN THE CONTEXT of Intouch’s anger, ciphered through Pharm in the last episode. And I think that Fluke Natouch ultimately rendered the trope beautifully -- again, especially against the gorgeous ending of the show. Oh, THAT CONDO SCENE, PEOPLE. I LOST IT. 

Of course, Intouch would want to hold back through Pharm in the present day. If Intouch DIDN’T hold back vis à vis Pharm -- he might lose Korn again, if Pharm missteps with Dean. Intouch may have felt that HIS forwardness lent to their troubles -- so Intouch holds back, through Pharm. And Intouch ultimately communicates his love for Korn differently in the afterlife, more hesitantly -- through a resistance to intimacy, and through food and cooking in Pharm, which itself was another amazing move in this show.

Listen. Even my pinned post says what I value in dramas, not just in BLs. You give me food in BL, and I give you my heart. But also, let’s talk about the meaning of food in Asian dramas for a second. It’s no coincidence that MANY Asian dramas and doramas center food, including my favorite BL of all time, Kinou Nani Tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?. If you don’t know Asians, of any ilk -- let me make a BROAD continental and sub-continental judgement. ALL WE THINK ABOUT IS FOOD, lol. While I’m with my family, while I’m working, while I’m writing meta -- I’m thinking about food, I’m thinking about what I want to cook, what I want to order, how I can mix the cuisines I love (Thai-Indian curries, anyone? YUM). Malaysians literally boast about having multiple meals, way past three meals, a day. We Asians are proud of our cuisines, and we want y’all to be EATING, A LOT, and to try all our dishes. (ITSAY, your Hokkien mee is calling me...) 

But, also: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. Let me say it again: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. You FEED the people you LOVE, with delicious food. Shiro and Kenji. Kurosawa and Adachi. The guys in Jack o’Frost. The guys in The Eighth Sense. Omg, even Kinn and Porsche. We’re seeing it in Tokyo In April Is... And Pharm, to Dean, Intouch to Korn.

And BESIDES Intouch/Pharm becoming a great cook, GOD, the story ALSO INCLUDED the Proustian reference of the madeleine and involuntary memory -- but in SUCH a stunning way, as to RECALL DEAN’S FAMILIAL MEMORY of eating his grandmother’s Thai desserts -- his grandmother, Intouch’s sister, and how Dean could get an indirect spotlight into Intouch and a depth of an understanding of Intouch’s happiness besides his love for Korn. And how Pharm EMBODIED that love for Thai desserts through Intouch’s family lineage. Oh, just get me MESSY, PEOPLE. FUCKING GENIUS SHIT. 

Memory on memory on memory. Dream on dream, nightmare on nightmare, tears and red threads, inherited trauma, intergenerational trauma. The micro-level of what Dean and Pharm had to live with on a daily basis in their recollections of Korn and Intouch. The macro-level of what Pharm and Dean experienced when all of their parents accepted them for who they were as queer individuals, and their partners, as well. How Dean’s dad could ACTUALLY RELATE to Dean himself, because Dean’s dad had been rejected by Dean’s mother’s family. And how that ALLOWED Dean’s dad to accept Dean and his choice to be with Pharm. How that trauma was relieved, how Dean and Pharm DID NOT HAVE TO PHYSICALLY RELIVE what Korn and Intouch had gone through, and how those involuntary memories that Dean and Pharm carried vis à vis Korn and Intouch traumatized them until Dean and Pharm could RECEIVE their OWN familial acceptance.

The LAYERS OF THIS SHOW. Before I get to the last theme on my list, I really just need to metaphorically slam my palms on an allegorical table and give New Siwaj a huge hug, because THIS SHIT IS NOT EASY TO PROCESS ALL AT ONCE, and I can’t wait to do a UWMA rewatch to try to catch more (and I’ll likely need to write another meta, ha, when I do that). I mean, again, just to use food as an example of a kind of storytelling TOOL to INDICATE memory, especially in the context of lost and found love, of intergenerational trauma and relieving regret -- BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT.

And. The last theme on the list, the theme of filial piety, of Asian family systems and devotion and loyalty and expectations, and the devastating effects on the micro-individual level (and even the macro-social level as well) that those expectations can have. 

So, I watched Double Savage, screenwritten by New Siwaj, out of order from UWMA. Very quickly, since many of you have likely NOT watched Double Savage because it’s not a BL (but it DID have Ohm Pawat and Perth Tanapon in a hose-off scene -- you can’t take the New Siwaj out of New Siwaj, amirite): Double Savage is about Korn (Ohm P.), a middle son who is branded a jinx by a HORRENDOUS Thai-Chinese father, and how the abuse leveled on Korn by his dad has intergenerational ripple effects across their family and community. 

Let’s break this down. I now know that New Siwaj does bad dads from Thai-Chinese lineage very well. UWMA’s Korn is expected to take over a mafia business. His dad is disapproving that Korn doesn’t want to take over the business -- which is an UNQUESTIONABLE and EMBEDDED expectation in most Asian family lineages (hello, Jeng and Step By Step) -- AND Korn’s dad is ALSO disapproving in Korn’s love for Intouch and vice versa. Separately, Intouch’s dad is disapproving that Intouch is in love with Korn, a mafia scion. 

Modern times are modern for a reason. 1988 was 31 years from 2019. I want to emphasize here the understanding that Korn and Intouch likely had -- that besides running away, there was no other existence for them to be together than to kill themselves and be together in the afterlife. And running away, and still living and existing, would have been a guilt-ridden and dangerous existence, for what Asian children are expected to do and live for vis à vis their parents. Korn likely HAD NO OTHER IMAGINATION for a life that he could live OTHER THAN to take over his father’s business and to be a heteronormative adult in the late 1980s. And, to top that all off, both of their dads were fucking assholes. 

I really liked how this was juxtaposed to the relationship between Dean and his father. Dean was clearly set up to be as stubborn as his dad. Meaning, at least to me -- that Dean was FAR less likely to be told what to do by his dad, that Dean would and maybe COULD, stand up to his dad. We didn’t see it happen, but I could have imagined Dean not accepting “no” for an answer from his dad to accept Pharm. (Makes you think about Pat, Pran, and Ming, no?) Dean had Korn in him. Dean/Korn was NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT SHIT AGAIN, and that was CLEAR. I want to emphasize: THAT’S BIG. That was BIG on New Siwaj and the UWMA novel writer to include that in the story. That’s parental defiance. That needed to happen in order for Dean and Pharm to survive. As an Asian, that gives me a kick of welcome energy.

But I also really want to note what New Siwaj did at the end of the show, something so deft, it might have left non-Asian viewers wondering what was going on. In the condo scene, Dean and Pharm are ciphering Korn and Intouch -- and when Korn’s father shows up in the wheelchair, Korn’s father knows what’s happening.

And Korn apologizes to his dad. Korn had already apologized to Intouch, but Korn also apologizes to his dad, and to his brother, and to his nephew in Sin. This really gets me, y’all, I understand this as an Asian. Korn is APOLOGIZING for the PAIN he caused in his family AND in Intouch, because -- filial piety. He knows what he did to himself was devastating to the Asian family system he was born into, to the Asian society he was born into, and he apologized for the suicide he committed unto himself that caused that extra-social pain. 

Like. As crazy as that sounds, it’s also an INCREDIBLY SOPHISTICATED way to ACKNOWLEDGE that Korn had broached a social boundary, and Intouch had followed him. THAT IS A HELL OF A LAYER TO ADD TO THIS STORY, ONE THAT I DID NOT EXPECT, and that SHOOK ME at the end of this series.

A similar situation happened in Double Savage. Despite the horrendous psychological abuse that Double Savage’s Korn received from his father -- an adult Korn ends up apologizing to his father for the trouble that HE may have caused. Now, what I appreciated about Double Savage was that THAT dad was like -- no, no, *I* should be the one apologizing. BUT, I want to indicate and emphasize here, that BOTH storylines acknowledge that Asian children NEED to know, SHOULD know, ARE BORN TO KNOW, that their actions have collective effects on a wider family system. We are born to understand and think like that. We are not dealing with an individualist Western perspective here. (I literally FLIPPED when I realized that New Siwaj has had MULTIPLE CHARACTERS NAMED KORN APOLOGIZING TO BAD DADS, and I’m an Asian over here UNDERSTANDING WHY, and I’m just like, pfffftt GGGAAAHHHH.)

Why am I harping on this? BECAUSE: vis à vis EVERYTHING ELSE that is lineage-based in this story -- from children being born, to intergenerational trauma, to reincarnation -- UWMA is structured around an über-macro theme of worlds being linked, by threads, by genes, by history, by spirit, by trauma. We are collectively linked. Babies are born -- we saw many babies in this show. Children belong to families. Lovers belong to lovers. Dean PHYSICALLY belongs to Intouch’s family, and Pharm to Korn’s family. A happy existence will be when a family accepts a child’s partner. Happiness is in a family growing, not a family shrinking. Warmth and growth and love happens when a happy family sits at a table and eats together. 

As Pharm says at the end of the show -- oh, my HEART -- “I belong to Dean.” Yes, you do -- because you have become Dean’s family, and Dean has become Pharm’s family. Korn’s family BELONGS to Intouch’s family, and vice versa. They are destined, MEANT to be linked together, AND TO BE FAMILY, ALL TOGETHER.

Kurosawa and Adachi become family in the Cherry Magic movie. WDYEY’s Shiro and Kenji become family by way of living and eating together. Even if BBS’s Ming doesn’t acknowledge Pran -- Pran is Ming’s family. LOVE. MAKES. FAMILY.

What Korn apologized for was the impact his decision had on his family — WHILE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH INTOUCH, WHO KORN’S FAMILY WAS NOT ALLOWING KORN TO MAKE AS KORN’S NEW FAMILY in the 1980s. Korn was able to apologize in the afterlife — BECAUSE Dean and Pharm DID WHAT HE AND INTOUCH COULD NOT DO, by way of generations, by way of family acceptance, by way of inherited trauma and STOPPING that inherited trauma in its tracks -- very much like Pat and Pran banding together and doing the same for themselves. Dean and Pharm did the hard work of making the relationship a real one, in every aspect of their intimate, micro-level family lives, to a public, external existence in the world. Korn could FINALLY experience the release of GUILT he had towards Intouch and towards Korn’s family, now that Korn’s love for Intouch could FINALLY flourish outside the constraints of filial piety through Dean. THIS IS HUGE. I have no words to tell you what the BRILLIANCE of this means to me as an Asian. LOVE MAKES FAMILY, and LOVE THAT IS ALLOWED TO FLOURISH GIVES YOU THE RELEASE TO BE YOUR TRUE SELF. 

Dean had learned from the inherited trauma that he got from Korn that he needed to stop the trauma train in his tracks, and he did, and he confronted his father, and his father blessed the union of Dean and Pharm. When Dean took the gun away from Pharm, and embraced Pharm, Korn and Intouch KNEW that they could finally be safe in the afterlife. Dean and Pharm were the ciphers that finally ALLOWED Korn and Intouch to exist happily together in spirit. Korn, especially, could exist freely, now that he was relieved of his guilt. Dean and Pharm were, LITERALLY, Korn and Intouch’s FAMILY -- the FAMILY that ALLOWED the FINAL RELEASE for Korn and Intouch to be together as their true selves and spirits. 

And Dean and Pharm confirmed that in FRONT of the family member, in Korn’s father, that had originally caused all this pain. The intricate layers, communicated to a primarily Asian audience, of Korn apologizing to his father, and then of Dean embracing Pharm and confirming their love AND Korn and Intouch’s love, in front of that former barrier -- that is GROWTH and FLOURISHING in the face of generational defiance, and about as sophisticated and eloquent a communication of familial transcendence as I could possibly imagine seeing in Asian drama art. WHOA. I’m a little out of breath with this.

Wow. And speaking of being one’s true self: I deeply loved that Dean and Pharm took a three-month break. I loved that Pharm was smart and strong enough to demand a break to understand if DEAN and PHARM -- INDEPENDENT of ANYTHING they had INHERITED from ANYONE -- actually loved each other and belonged together. Fuck. Pharm was like, no -- this one’s on me. I need to see, outside of ANY INFLUENCES, FROM ANYONE, ANYWHERE -- if I love Dean, if Dean loves me, and if we belong together. Brave. Badass.

AND, I truly loved how Korn and Intouch -- DEAN AND PHARM’S FAMILY -- came BACK to Dean and Pharm’s dreams to offer thanks. I loved how, in the end, the past and his family came back to give Pharm that little contextual nudge to say to Pharm, it’s okay to love Dean for Dean, AND to love how you two came together, through Korn and Intouch. And Pharm could acknowledge, finally, that he belonged to Dean. God damn.

This story was so multilayered, SO complex, SO filled with a respect for love at its highest and most complicated levels. This story was filled with CRITICAL SCRUTINY towards Asian family systems and the trauma that those systems can render. This story was filled with an acknowledgement for the power of LOVE that those same family systems can offer unto children who NEED pillars of love and support (Pharm’s mom and brother, badasses!). 

Y’ALL. I just, I DID NOT KNOW that New Siwaj could DO THIS! I know that UWMA is considered his best show, but like, this is his best show BY A LOT, A LOT. Double Savage, in contrast, had a lot of narrative and structural issues that detracted from the core stories of filial piety that were ultimately very important to tell. 

UWMA did not fall into that trap. It was SMART, it MOVED (FOR SEVENTEEN EPISODES! I SLAMMED THIS SERIES! I could have watched MORE, I cannot believe I’m SAYING THAT!), it was. It was just BRILLIANT. It was an ode to romantic love, to family love, to the power of memory. In 2019, it joined He’s Coming To Me in a burgeoning echelon of cinema-influenced BLs in storytelling, soon to be joined by I Told Sunset About You, ATOTS, and others. It took the sad endings of He’s Coming To Me and Dew the Movie and said -- not today. Today, we will let love LIVE, let QUEER LOVE live, in REAL LIFE, in REAL TIME, and we will not let our lovers live in regret. We will take queer love, we will give queer love FAMILY, and we will give it the HONOR IT DESERVES.

Until We Meet Again is a must-watch of the highest order, and goes on the shortlist of shows that I will refer to as one that makes me proud to be an Asian. It was easily one of the most important shows I’ve watched in this project. All credit to New, Fluke, Ohm, Earth, and Kao for a PHENOMENAL experience -- my heart and mind have been bettered because of this show. 

[FLUKE. AND. OHM. Fluke and Singto coming thru in Shadow the Series? Sign me the FUCK up. Actors on actors. WOW. Did UWMA ever introduce me to another crop of dudes who can fucking tear up a screen. I had SO much fun watching UWMA, whew!

And, yep. I had to follow this up with 2gether, ha. I’m going to spare myself a little pain, if y’all don’t mind, and combine my write-up of 2gether with Still 2gether. I know there’s a lot to be said about the lack of intimacy in 2G, which I can’t wait to dive into, but I can’t help but to also run into another wall of analysis with dear P’Aof’s work in S2G. I’ll make it all work!

After I get myself together with 2gether (HA) -- it’s ITSAY time. I will be planning on watching ITSAY TWICE before writing, as I’m preparing myself to catch EVERYTHING I can before I pen words. Stay tuned.

Status of the list below. As always -- if you have feedback, send it my way!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020)  17) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (watching) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) 20) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 23) Lovely Writer (2021) 24) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 29) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 30) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 31) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 32) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 33) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 34) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 35) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 36) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[oraclekleo]

33rd Birthday!

Hello my dear followers and random visitors of my blog.

I have already made a sorry announcement due to my hiatus but that’s not all I wanted to tell you.

This Monday, April 15th 2024 to be precise, is my Birthday. I’m already 33 years old! Would you believe that? I certainly wouldn’t. I feel like 16. 😂 

And how pretty the number is, right? Two threes… My life path number is also 3. How neat is that, huh?

When it comes to angel number 33, this source says the following:

“The 33 angel number means anything is possible. This powerful angel number is also known as a master number because of its double digits mirroring each other and its powerful vibrations. The number 33 is linked to themes around creative thinking, deep compassion, spiritual-level connections, discipline, and bravery. When you see this number show up it could be because it's an opportune time for a change or because patience is paramount right now in your daily life because a spiritual meaning that will have major significance is soon to be revealed.”

Nothing can be more true for me as major change is about to happen for me. I don’t want to reveal what it is just now but I will keep you informed in time. 😜

And no, I’m not dating anyone 🤣 Still happily Sexy, free and single.

I did want to celebrate my birthday with you with some sort of event but as you know I was really busy so… I guess we will celebrate my 44th Birthday properly? LOL!

Honestly, I have a lot to be grateful for in my life, you guys in my little community included. I hope we can stay together for many years that come and have some more fun with both serious and kinky tarot readings.

And those might soon become even better articulate and with much more expressive vocabulary as your girl Kleo is currently fully immersed in listening to audio erotica, which is really good! I mean… not all of it but I have already found several favourite voice actors, their voice and style really suiting me and apart from having a good time listening to it while working (yes, I do listen to audio porn while at work, sue me if you want), I also learn a lot from it. You know I can just soak information like a sponge from anything I do and well… This is a really good source. Also, I’m considering holding a voice chat once in a while with my friends now as I really want to learn to use my voice as well as I use my fingers for typing. And yes, I tested with my bestie and I nearly choked when I had to pronounce word ‘f*ck’ out loud. You wouldn’t guess it by reading my posts but I’m really talking like a lady out loud. I rarely curse or say rude words. 🤭 

I also learned about very surprising preferences through this audio erotica experience. I swear I didn’t expect to love what I love so much. It came as a shock and I truly thought my preferences to be completely different from what I actually enjoy the most. I guess there’s still a lot to learn about myself. Another great thing about my new hobby. You know how much I love to learn anything.

Anyway! That’s about my new hobby and about my approaching birthday.

Feel free to contact me through inbox or through DM or join my Discord. I don’t bite… unless you ask me to 😏 I’m also learning how to flirt better. You can be my test subject anytime. 😀 And no, it’s not to go hunt men, I’m way too old to change my ways and routines to fit another person’s lifestyle. My goal is actually much purer. I really like to make people happy and… well, I noticed people will feel happy, flattered and their self-esteem boosted when I flirt with them a little bit. Just another skill I’m learning in order to spread happiness and joy in the world. Might seem frivolous to you but… Well… I enjoy it. And that’s what counts for me.

So yeah! Happy Birthday to me! I’m not growing old, I’m only one year closer to death as my sister tells me every year since I was like 17. 😂 We are a weird family. Try not to think about it too much.

Thank you everyone who’s sticking around here. I promise I will post something soon. Maybe nothing super big but I will post. 🙂

Your forever joyful Oracle Kleo 🦄

[murdereraisuha]

Classpecting TWST: Heartslabyul

After basically an eternity, I have finally gotten back into the mood for TWST character analysis and classpect. Therefore, I am briefly emerging from my swamp to slap this on the internet before retreating back to my hermit hut.

For everyone who wasn’t here years ago for my previous classpect posts, please check the classpect tag on my blog for more info on what the hell this is. Spoilers for chapter 1, chapter 5, and some personal stories. No knowledge of Homestuck required to read. This post will be using quotes from Kanade Musing’s translation of the original Japanese version of the game.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Riddle, the symbol for the rage aspect, and the words “Riddle Rosehearts: Maid of Rage”]

Right off the bat, I can’t think of any 2 aspects that could fit Riddle better than rage or doom, which both have to do with limits/rules. Rage focuses on stubbornness and “no,” while doom focuses on systems and caution. To me, the distinction between the two seems to be like personal vs universal. Anyway, Riddle’s strict self-discipline and adherence to the rules obviously relates to one of those aspects.

How exactly does the concept of limits/rules factor into his personal growth? The conflict in chapter 1 revolves around Riddle going ridiculously far with enforcing the rules in his dorm. From Trey and the post-overblot flashback, we learn that Riddle’s behavior stems from his mother being extremely controlling and teaching her son to value the rules & success over his desires & happiness. At the end of the chapter, Riddle apologizes to the dorm and becomes more lenient with enforcing the rules. 

Ah yes, the good old days of less than 30 episodes a chapter. This is a refreshingly straightforward story compared to basically everyone else, which means that I’ve already narrowed it down to 2 classpects: maid of rage or maid of doom.

Maids, the active creation class, make their aspect, as shown by Riddle enforcing the rules amongst his dorm. In terms of their personal journey, a maid is first controlled by and reliant on their aspect. Their moment of development comes when they rebel against their aspect and finally claim it for themself. For Riddle, he is first controlled by the rules, like when he has to throw away the tart Ace made when he actually wanted to eat it. However, in the end, he rebels against his mother’s teachings and starts thinking about how he can work towards his own goals rather than blindly upholding the rules.

The question now is whether Riddle’s aspect is rage or doom. After some thought, I believe that rage suits him better. First of all, rage deals with negative emotions like hate and fear. Those emotions characterize the interactions we see between Riddle and his mother, from her vehemently declaring that sweets are poison, to her outrage at Riddle hanging out with Trey and Chenya. You can also see it in Riddle in his destructive anger and his despair at not having friends.

Secondly, rage deals with refusal and denial. It is the opposite of hope, the aspect of belief. Prior to and during his overblot, Riddle stubbornly denies that he is wrong. Just look at these lines from episodes 1-23 and 1-24:

Riddle: Are you saying that I’m wrong, too? Even after I did my best to protect all those strict rules?! Even after I’ve endured so, so, so many things! I won’t… I will never… I will never believe it!!!!!

Riddle: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! I do not need anyone who defies me in my world. I am my world’s absolute ruler. My world itself submits to me! I will not tolerate any answer aside from, “Yes, Lord Riddle.”!! It’s off with the heads of everyone who defies me! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Riddle: I’m the only one who’s always right!! If not, then all that I’ve worked for was…!!

Doom, which deals with caution, death, and acceptance, does not seem nearly as relevant to Riddle’s personality and struggles as rage is. Therefore, Riddle is most likely a maid of rage.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Trey, the symbol for the mind aspect, and the words “Trey Clover: Heir of Mind”]

I’m gonna start out with some pieces of dialogue from episode 1-17

Cater: Are you really okay with this…?

Trey: ……….. There’s nothing I can really do…

and episode 1-19

Trey:  … I understand why you’d think of him as a tyrant, and I understand that the way he does things is a little wrong, too. But, I… I still can’t find it in myself to go against him at all.

Ace:  ………. Now that I know more, I understand completely now. The reason why Prefect Riddle is like that… It’s all your fault…

Ace:  If you think that the Prefect’s making the same mistakes as his parents, then tell him directly. Fix your mistakes. What’s gonna happen to him if you just feel sorry and spoil him? So you’re just gonna watch everyone hate him and alienate him from a distance?

I feel like these lines encapsulate Trey’s problem in this chapter. He knows why Riddle acts the way he does and he knows that what Riddle is doing is wrong, but Trey hasn’t done anything to fix it. Therefore, in terms of Trey’s classpect, I currently believe that the class that fits him best is seer.

Seers, the passive knowledge class, invite understanding of their aspect and through their aspect. For Trey, in chapter 1 he provides the 1st years with knowledge on apologizing to Riddle and Riddle’s upbringing. Also, a seer’s main problem is their struggle to understand and use the information that they have. In Trey’s case, he doesn’t know how to handle the situation with Riddle, so he ends up just giving advice to the rule breakers instead of actually confronting Riddle. 

Now, we need to do some more investigation to figure out what aspect he is.

Trey has a obsession with dental care because his parents, who work as bakers, did not want all the sugary treats he grew up with to negatively impact his health.

Trey has many younger siblings and he often treats his dormmates like younger siblings too.

Despite how Trey’s brotherly behavior suggests a romantic and selfless outlook on things, he can actually adopt a rather practical and self-serving attitude as shown in his lab coat and dorm outfit personal stories.

Also in his dorm outfit personal story, Trey lets the other students try and utterly fail at making cakes to teach them how difficult baking really is instead of just telling them that their cake requests are unreasonable.

Trey is perceptive and was able to figure out that Cater dislikes sweets by observing him.

Trey’s unique magic, “Doodle Suit,” overwrites qualities (ex. taste, unique magic, color) of things or people with something else.

Going back to Trey being a seer, what exactly does he know and invite understanding of? Trey holds knowledge about Riddle, baking, dental care, Cater’s dislikes, and dealing with siblings. How the hell do all these things relate to each other?

Actually, hold on. Is he a seer? Cause I’m realizing now that he could also be a sylph, the passive creation class. Sylphs are typically known for getting involved in others’ business and fixing what they think needs to be fixed. For Trey, he offers advice to the 1st years, he tries to calm Riddle when he’s angry, he makes sure Unbirthday Party preparations stay on track, and he tries to enforce good brushing habits in the rest of his dorm. Giving up on fixing the Riddle situation might just be him failing as a sylph.

I’m kind of stuck there now, let’s consider aspect for a bit. Though his unique magic does relate to space, I don’t think his aspect is space, time, light, or void. Whatever his class is, it seems to mostly relate to concepts like harmony and healthiness. Therefore, the 2 main aspects I’m considering are heart and life,

Life would relate to his nurturing nature, his concern for dental health, and his relationship with food/baked goods. Heart would relate to his management of others’ emotions, his unique magic which basically alters the identity of something, and his turmoil with the Riddle situation relating to their relationship with each other. Now that I’ve listed these out, I’m gonna say that his aspect fits closer with heart due to that relating better to important things as well as the pun there with Riddle’s name being Rosehearts.

However, it is also important to consider the opposite aspect of mind. The thing is, about half of this post was written more than 2 years ago. Back then, I ended up putting Trey as seer of heart. However, looking back, I really don’t feel like that fits with my current understanding of his character. So, I am going to argue against my past self’s reasoning now.

Trey’s relationship with Riddle is indeed a big part of his character, and the events of the main story did induce some character development in Trey. However, Trey is his own person who is not defined by Riddle and who has his own problems and areas for personal improvement outside of Riddle.

What his own problems are can be seen in his personal stories and his appearances in event stories. A recurring theme with Trey is how he stubbornly denies that he is anything more than average. In his gym uniform story, he deliberately tries to get average grades in flying class, then proceeds to pull off maneuvers in an emergency that has Vargas praising him. In the port fest event, he makes an excellent chowder for the class’s booth, and then brushes off the others’ praise for it. In the 2nd Vargas Camp event, he comes up with a successful strategy for defeating the monster (Vargas) and then, again, brushes off the others’ praise for it.

So many of his efforts go towards blending in and hiding his true capabilities. Going back to chapter 1 of the main story, his main problem is that he hides what he is truly thinking about Riddle. Together with stuff from the bullet points up there like his “practical and self serving attitude”, I don’t think this behavior is something to do with what his class is like my past self did, but I think this is a symptom of his aspect being mind.

Now, after looking at the possible classes to pair with that, I believe that Trey’s classpect is heir of mind. Heir, the passive manipulation class, really seems to fit Trey. Trey seems to naturally default to putting up a mask, since he is often misinterpreted by other characters to be more caring about others than he actually is. He has a goal of not standing out and getting into trouble, and he does stuff like aim for average grades and shy away from going against Riddle as an extension of this goal. These two things seem to be examples of him being embroiled in or manipulated by “mind”, as an heir of it. 

Then, as shown in his Starsending Robes personal story where he convinces Riddle to get the dorm a food processor that it doesn’t really need or his ceremony robes story where he successfully stalls Riddle while Cater fixes the roses at the dorm, he is great at getting what he wants through manipulation, but it is not very focused/deliberate like active manipulation would be. He did not make a premeditated plan to talk Riddle into getting a food processor for the dorm, but he happened to stumble on Cater and other students struggling in the kitchen and took the opportunity to bring up a food processor in conversation. In fact, Cater and the other students join in the conversation to back Trey’s sales pitch up without even knowing Trey’s true thoughts on the matter, which seems like a obvious example of inviting manipulation of mind. Therefore, I’m pretty sure that Trey is a heir of mind.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Cater, the symbol for the heart aspect, and the words “Cater Diamond: Bard of Heart”]

First, here’s a link to my Cater analysis, which contains my evidence and reasoning for my interpretation of Cater. You only need to read it if you’re curious about how I came up with this summary of him:

Cater’s puts up a constant happy façade to hide his inner sadness. He blends in with the crowd by following the latest trends and acting like a peppy cheerleader towards others. Because of family issues and constantly having to move, he has built up a strong resistance towards trusting others or forming close bonds with others.

Based on his deception, his blending in, and his unique magic “Split Card” which basically allows him to fragment himself, Cater’s aspect is most likely mind or heart. Mind deals with apathy, conformity, and masks, while heart deals with emotion, showing off, and identity.

For classes, I’m going to eliminate page, sylph, and the theft classes cause those don’t seem relevant. I don’t think he really rebels against anything so witch is also out, and the way his personality was shaped by nurture instead of nature doesn’t make heir seem likely either. Finally, though he puts up a mask, it’s more of a way to avoid attachment than hide insecurities so he’s probably not a knight. The remaining options are mage, seer, prince, bard, and maid.

Pairing those up with aspects (and also throwing out seer in the process) leaves us with mage of mind, prince of heart, bard of heart, and maid of mind.

I think the best way to decide between these 4 classpects is to focus on what Cater’s biggest problems are and how he as a person would change when those are resolved. 

First, I feel like one of his biggest problems is how he pushes others away. He hides the depressed mandrakes he made in his lab coat personal story, and it is Trey who has to deduce that Cater doesn’t like sweet food rather than Cater telling him that. Second, the other big problem he has is how he not only refuses to acknowledge his problems to others, but also to himself. Even when he is completely alone, like at the end of his ceremony robes story, he still insists on maintaining his happy, life of the party persona.

The natural resolution to these problems would for him to be more truthful with others and to himself, revealing his “heart” and reducing his reliance on his masks, his “mind”. The resolution to his personal journey is really not a change in his relationship to “mind” but a distancing from “mind” and towards “heart”.

Therefore, I think that his true aspect is heart, and his specific classpect is bard of heart. I feel like the way that he lies to himself about his feelings and his overall laid-back nature aligns more with the passive destruction that a bard brings about than the active, focused destruction of a prince. With no other options remaining, I’m locking in my final answer for Cater as bard of heart.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Deuce, the symbol for the hope aspect, and the words “Deuce Spade: Heir of Hope”]

Deuce is a very earnest and “act first, think later” kind of guy. Though he is hard working, his enthusiasm and naivety can lead to him go about things in not very thought out ways, which makes me think of him as having an opposite attitude to the lazy but calculating Leona.

An issue he is very conscious of is how he is quick to anger and get into fights, which is what led to him being a delinquent in the past. Now in high school, he is trying his best to change his ways and be an honors student out of a desire to help instead of hurt his mother.

He is pretty hard on himself about this, but in chapter 5, Rook and Kalim help him see that his approach to things isn’t necessarily bad, leading to him accepting himself and developing his unique magic during the overblot fight.

Overall, his personal journey and character development seem to really revolve around the concept of going with your instinct versus strategizing. However, it doesn’t seem to be in the heart/mind way which is focused on rationality and expressing or hiding one’s true self. Instead, Deuce’s behavior comes more from an drive to get things done and push forward towards his goals regardless of what stands in his way and what others may consider unrealistic odds. His unique magic, “Bet the Limit”, is all about taking a bad situation where facing down someone who is stronger than him and is winning and flipping it on it’s head by retaliating with an even stronger version of the magic they’ve used against him.

Therefore, I believe he is strongly involved with the hope and rage aspects, with the hope aspect being the most likely of the two, so I am going to proceed with the hope aspect for now

So, for classes, the main thing we have to consider is how Deuce interacts with Hope. His personal journey is basically first he rejects hope because it caused him anguish because of his mother, then he realizes how he can use hope in a good way and accepts it. However, I do not think his relationship with hope was really destructive. Unlike someone like Cater who buries his “heart” as far down as he can, Deuce still does things based on hope. He acts according to his ideals and instincts, he’s just ashamed of it afterwards. Therefore, I don’t think Deuce is a prince or bard.

Therefore, I think one good possibility is heir. Like an heir would, Deuce naturally connects with core parts of the hope aspect such as trust and “doing” rather than “stopping”. His unique magic is based so much on his intuition that after he uses it he isn’t even sure how to do it again, which seems quite heir-like. Connecting his class to his personal journey, his challenge was to redefine his relationship with hope into a more healthy one instead of letting it pull him down bad roads like his delinquency, which kind of seems to fit with heir based on what tiny bits of memory I still have left of John Egbert’s character development in Homestuck.

I’m not 100% sure about that though, so another possibility is seer. As the passive knowledge class, the challenge of the seer is to reach a better understanding of what their aspect is and figure out what the right path to follow. This looks somewhat similar to Deuce’s case, but after some thought I don’t think seer fits. After figuring out the course of action to take, a seer tells others about it instead of taking action themselves, and Deuce is the only one here doing stuff with his hope. I don’t think Deuce is a seer or even a mage, because understanding/comprehension doesn’t seem to be a major thing with him.

 Deuce could be a page. However, the problem is that he didn’t try to be better at hope or anything like that, he avoided hope. His behavior just doesn’t mesh with a page’s. Deuce could also be a rogue. He does struggle with owning his spontaneity/hope, but he never does any giving of it to others. Finally, going over the rage aspect and possible class pairs with that, nothing seems to really match up given how hope-based Deuce’s final character development and unique magic is.

So, in the end, the best fit I can think of for Deuce is heir of hope.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Ace, the symbol for the breath aspect, and the words “Ace Trappola: Sylph of Breath”]

In contrast to Deuce’s honesty, sense of duty, and occasional naivety, Ace is shrewd, independent, and has a talent for deception.

Ace often looks for the most efficient, corner cutting way to do things, such as in the 2nd part of his dorm uniform personal story where he decides to focus his rose painting efforts on the ones that are most in view.

One of his hobbies is doing magic/card tricks.

Though Ace puts himself first a lot, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about others at all. 

Ace is not afraid to call people out if he thinks they’re being unfair or doing something harmful, such as in the dialogue I quoted in Trey’s section in this post.

Though Ace insists they he just hangs out with Deuce, Grim, and the player character out of pity, he shows a lot of care for them, such as in chapter 4 when he makes the long trip back to NRC because of the distress call the player sends when they’re held captive in Scarabia. Ace’s Halloween costume personal story is specifically about Lilia and Malleus commenting on how much Ace cares about his friends, complete with flashback scenes of stuff like Ace giving up his omelette at lunch to stop Deuce and Grim fighting over Deuce’s omelette.

Another cute example of how Ace acts aloof is in his dorm uniform story, when the hedgehogs go missing. At first Ace just tries to find the hedgehogs quick so Riddle won’t punish him for forgetting to lock the cages. However, once he actually starts to worry about if he can get the hedgehogs back, his mind automatically goes to how distressed Riddle was about the hedgehogs. He starts begging the hedgehogs to come back with him because Riddle will be really worried otherwise, even though Ace had previously made fun of another student for talking to the hedgehogs since they can’t understand human language.

According to the wiki.gg Twisted Wonderland wiki, throughout the main story, Ace apparently shows a talent for wind magic.

Given these facts, the first thing I want to consider for him is the breath aspect. Though his occasional contrarian attitude could look like witch-like behavior, given other parts of his character, I feel like it is more a manifestation of his aspect rather than his class. He insults people and expresses unpopular opinions as an assertion of his freedom and lack of attachment to others. Therefore, compared to other aspects, breath (and its opposite, blood) seems like the most relevant one here.

Now, to figure out what his relationship to breath might be. I���m just gonna copy paste this dialogue down here too cause I think it’s a good example of how Ace operates.

Trey: … I understand why you’d think of him as a tyrant, and I understand that the way he does things is a little wrong, too. But, I… I still can’t find it in myself to go against him at all.

Ace: ………. Now that I know more, I understand completely now. The reason why Prefect Riddle is like that… It’s all your fault…

Ace: If you think that the Prefect’s making the same mistakes as his parents, then tell him directly. Fix your mistakes. What’s gonna happen to him if you just feel sorry and spoil him? So you’re just gonna watch everyone hate him and alienate him from a distance?

After hearing about Trey and Riddle’s situation, Ace is able to quickly figure out what the essence of the problem with Trey and Riddle’s relationship may be, figure out what should be done to solve the problem, and succinctly communicate that to Trey. This ability immediately makes me think of the knowledge classes (mage & seer) or sylph.

What’s also interesting about this is the exact advice Ace is giving. Looking at this while thinking of the breath and blood aspects, what Ace is saying can be interpreted as him telling Trey that he is too restricted by his feelings for Riddle, (aka blood) to tell Riddle what he needs to know, so Trey needs to make the hard decision to step back (aka move towards breath) and confront Riddle.

Based on this, I think that Ace’s tendency to call people out for stuff is a result of him being a sylph. As the passive creation class, sylphs are known for meddling in other people’s matters and “healing” any lack of their aspect. For example, this advice that Ace gives Trey can be seen as an example of Ace “healing breath” by trying to introduce more objectivity to Trey and Riddle’s relationship, which in this context means more breath.

His feigned apathy towards his friends and the feelings of others ties into how a sylph can have a very fixed interpretation of their aspect, which can lead to problems when others challenge that interpretation. Ace seems to view attachments to others in general as something negative. Not just concrete relationships like friendships and romance, but also simple empathy and care, like that which the random student in Ace’s dorm uniform personal story shows to the hedgehogs when he babytalks to them. In the story, Ace pointedly notes that the hedgehogs can’t understand them, discouraging the guy from talking to the hedgehogs. This is an example of Ace going too far as a sylph and micromanaging breath here to an unnecessary extent. Therefore, Ace’s challenge is to learn when to limit his pursuit of freedom and recognize that some personal connections are alright to have.

The idea of Ace being a sylph of breath really felt right to me, so there is a decent probability that something else that I didn’t notice fits him better, but I’m gonna go with the ~vibes~ and settle on sylph of breath. 

It was close, but basketball club didn’t end up as blood club. It’s just blood-and-breath club now I guess. Freshman breath player gets bullied by a pair of sophomore blood players. Hah. 

Anyway, bye.

[lambment]

FAQ & Important Info

About me:

bday: march 30th

lgbt?: im bi

What can we call you?

Lambment is fine, its supposed to be a play on of Lament or Lambent you can also call me Pepaw!

What pronouns do you use?

I'd prefer They/Them, but you can use She/Her.

Whats your Main blog?

Im still deciding whether I want to have my two blogs associated, Im enjoying the anonyminity. That being said, I may say whatever and link em', but you'll just have to wait until then.

Mutuals are free to ask though, theres a level of understanding that I trust you when I started following you.

Art Related:

What art program(s) do you use?

Procreate and Clip studio Paint. Brushes: Shiyoon Kims Wet Brush pack (X) and several Max Packs (X) for procreate in CSP I use the defaults + these two lineart brushes (X) (X)

How long have you been drawing?

I've always drawn, but I started getting really serious at 14, around the same time I first made my main blog. I was self taught up until I got into animation school.

What do you do as a career?

I'm currently doing Freelance work for companies and individuals. I was previously an animator, I'm moving over to storyboarding now.

Do you have a store for your art?

yes, probably wont be posting it here until/if I decide to link my main blog, But I'm willing to make prints or zines in the future!

Do you take requests/commissions?

I do have commissions. all the slots are currently filled, but you can message me and request an inquiry for wait times/prices.  for the time being small requests are open, they may close soon, and there’s no real guarantee I’d do anything with them.

Asks and Messaging:

Rules for asks/tagging?

Anyone can send me a message, Mutuals, Anons or not!

Dont send discourse or anything explicitly NSFW. you'll be blocked lol. suggestive I dont mind, also artistic nudity is oki doki, but if theres two people tangoing I dont want to see it. if you send me triggering content I’ll mind blast you into dust. (block).

Do not send and DNI's?

Transphobia, Homophobia, Acephobia. All the obvious bigot contenders.

SA, pdfilia and incest are absolute no goes.

***very important to note to be aware of when you’re making sexual comments on someones posts, are you actually being ‘funny haha’ or are u just being explicit.

are you okay with me direct messaging you?

only if we have spoken before/ you're giving me a headsup about something/ I've prompted you to send me one. Mutuals are free to DM though. willy nilly even.

***minors: please refrain from dming me to chit chat, im not down to and it will probably end with me lecturing you about internet safety.***

Why don’t you answer my asks/dms?

my main blog has +1000 unanswered asks... I’m tiored. (I also hoard the nice ones sometimes like its a pile of treasure, dont ask me why) as for DM's, unprompted messages from strangers will not always get answered sorry. I also sometimes just dont see it because im an old man w ADHD thats logged off the internet.

Misc

why are you posting political stuff on your art/fandom blog?

because I can and caring should have no such boundaries.

Can you reblog my donation posts?

no. too many scams.

[munkiey]

First of all, hello lmao. I just found your blog because I love lmk stuff even though I'm not very active on this social network, I've seen your amazing art on other social networks, and I wanted to ask you kindly if you could help giving me some tips to be able to promote my art or my blog in a better way or how to get people to see my content more, because I have seen that you have been very popular here in such a short time and I have been here trying for more than a year and I have achieved almost nothing, when I share my art on various sites there are no comments and I don't know what to do anymore, I am a bit desperate because I really want to work on this because I love it, it is my passion and also I will want to have some income with commissions because I need it, so yes I would like to make money doing what I am passionate about, but sometimes I wonder if my art is really good or what am I doing wrong because nobody responds to me when I post something. It was long, sorry if this has bothered you, I hope you can answer me, I feel that it would help me.

Okay so what you’re asking about is marketing. Now in the grand scheme of things bud, I’m actually pretty small. Maybe in correlation to a small fandom I might have made an impression but as the internet at large I’m a guppy compared to some of the big fish. Honestly, I prefer it that way. 

The bigger you get the easier a target you are, and the less you’re a person to the people you interact with. Don’t forget that.

The old saying, it's lonely at the top, is very true. The bigger you get the more likely people are to put expectations on you for how you should behave or what they expect. You’ll always be vulnerable to criticism and unable to reach out to your ‘fans’ in a fashion that isn’t either going to leave you exposed or looked at with scrutiny. When it comes to breaking into a fandom though, choosing what your focus is and making sure you have in mind what branding you’re going for. People like consistency and they like predictability. Think about some of the most famous Youtubers today, they’re always updating and they have a ‘theme’ to what they do. I’m a comic artist and wannabe animator, that’s what my content is. I post occasional illustrations between larger projects but as a whole people who follow me can generally expect I have something in the works. 

Looking at your message as a whole though I’m gonna give you a little bit of a hard pill. Don’t base your worth off what other people say. Yes, not getting any responses s u c k s. We’ve all been there and we all want to know how we did. In the grand scheme of things artists are a line of lil dogs wagging their tails and waiting for a pat on the head. You gotta find joy in just chasing that passion though. I see a lot of artists chasing clout and not chasing their artistic passion. They base every decision off what people want, or what they think will get them noticed. It’s very hollow. You can make a living in the comic book, illustration, animation, industry and never be noticed by the online sphere as a whole. Trust me on that, the amount of people I see that I know are published and recognized artists in the industry and have almost no following is a pretty regular thing. Again though, that comes down to your focus and what you want. If you want to have an online presence and gain a following, choose your lane, market yourself and keep your social media oriented towards that. Make a character for yourself and how you want to be perceived by people. I’m not always as cheeky in person, or horrific, but I like the humor of it and it builds a persona for me online.  If you want a career and you want to chase that dream, focus on improving yourself first. If you keep posting it online, trust me, the rest will follow.

There is no magic pill to making a social media following overnight. There are tricks, things to do to help grow it over time. Marketing classes are a thing and can help. But all and all, I’m also a believer in the fact that, if you love what you do, the rest will gradually follow.

[hikari-drkspc]

❅ “Weakness” ❅

character: yandere! saionji ukyo [dr. stone]

warning: yandere, non consensual touching + (almost) kiss (not by ukyo) ; MINOR/AGELESS BLOGS DNI, PUT YOUR AGE IN BIO/PINNED POST TO INTERACT

words: 1k

a/n: this is a repost from my main blog (@/hikari-writes) so yes this writing is old + bad, i just moved them here w/o editing bc im lazy and wants to keep reminding myself how bad my writing used to be <3 this was set before Tsukasa empire was defeated !!

Ukyo stands in front of Hyoga, his face showing his nervousness and small beads of sweats could be seen trickling down his face.

“Why did you call me out here?”

Ukyo asks, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. He didn’t want to let Hyoga knew he’s anxious that they are meeting alone and a bit farther than their headquarters. If, in the worst case scenario, he was attacked, it’d be hard to escape. Although he don’t find any reason why Hyoga would attack him now.

“…Nothing much.”

Hyoga replies curtly and as soon as he did, Ukyo’s ears caught a series of footsteps heading towards them.

The footsteps he knows all too well.

Even though his ears could catch on sounds from a pretty far distance, he knows that her way of walking has always been so insanely fast. So although he knew beforehand that she’s coming, he still couldn’t take any action before she reached their place.

“Hey, Hyoga-san….why did you call me out here?”

Y/N finally reaches their place, her face showing pure confusion as she saw Ukyo and Hyoga facing each other.

“Y/N….”

Ukyo mumbles her name, his face turns pale all of the sudden. He doesn’t seem to be getting any good vibes from this situation. Out of all people, Hyoga called out Y/N, Ukyo’s no. 1 weakness, his girlfriend, here at this quiet place. It seems like Hyoga planned it so that she came right when Ukyo and Hyoga’s facing each other.

“Ukyo.”

Hyoga ignores Y/N’s presence and continue facing Ukyo.

“I’d like for you to join force with me to end Tsukasa’s life.”

Ukyo and Y/N went dead silent at that one sentence. For the first time ever, Ukyo couldn’t believe his own ears. Y/N’s legs started trembling at Hyoga’s sudden proposal. Did those words just came out of him? Even though Tsukasa trusted him, he wishes to kill him?

Ukyo was quick to regain his composure. He then looks straight at Hyoga’s face.

“And if I don’t want to?”

Hyoga stays silent at Ukyo’s reply. He then takes off his mask and in a blink of an eye, grabs Y/N’s arm and pull her face closer to him.

Y/N could barely understand the situation that flashes right before her eyes and her reflexes are too slow compared to Hyoga for her to even turn her face or push Hyoga away. But she does understand one thing. The sight of Hyoga’s face nearing hers makes her eyes widen in horror. Just the thought of other people aside Ukyo having their lips on hers is just… unbearable.

Just as their lips about to touch, Y/N was snatched away from Hyoga’s grip and a knife was pointed at his throat.

“Well, well…so even the peace-loving Ukyo can point a knife at someone’s throat when his Y/N is about to fall on other’s hands, huh?”

Ukyo hold Y/N tightly with one hand and his other hand kept the knife close to Hyoga’s throat. His face isn’t showing his usual calm exterior. Instead, he was like a completely different person. His face turns gloomy and his eyes are looking at Hyoga dangerously.

“I thought you knew that you can’t object an offer from me. Oh well, now the deal has been made. There’s no going back.”

Hyoga calmly said as he pulls up his mask back and walks away, leaving the two of them alone.

Y/N is still clinging to Ukyo tightly, her whole body trembling. Ukyo who finally regains back his composure, try to reassure Y/N by embracing her small body. It’s almost as if he’s doing it to reassure himself. As if she could disappear at any moment and he’s clinging to her so desperately.

“Ukyo….I’m okay now.”

Y/N softly whispers at him. Ukyo reluctantly lets her go, and as soon as he did, her lips met his and they both melt into a sweet, loving kiss.

~*~

“I could barely understand what happened just now…Are you going to be okay, Ukyo?”

While they walk back to the headquarters, holding hands, Y/N asks a question that’s been on her mind since just now.

“….I’ll be fine. Completely fine. So don’t worry. What you should be worrying about is yourself. His target is you if he found anything suspicious at me. And that’s the only thing I don’t want to happen.”

Ukyo strokes Y/N’s head reassuringly and give a peck on her forehead.

“I really was afraid just now, you know? I wouldn’t have known what to do if he had kissed me.”

As soon as she mentions that, Ukyo’s face turns gloomier and his glares turns so scary it could kill a newborn fawn.

“If that’s the case, I’ll just kiss you two, no, three times than he did.”

Y/N’s ears turn red at his exclamation and she just smiles lovingly at him.

“I would love that.”

“For tonight, Y/N, sleep with me. I don’t want Hyoga to attack you while you’re alone. Stay by my side.”

Ukyo turns to her and said this seriously. Y/N quietly nod at him and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Even if you don’t ask for it, I’ll always stay by your side forever and ever.”

Ukyo’s heart warms up at her loving confession and squeezes her hand.

“It’s okay…” He thought to himself. “Tomorrow’s gonna be the day this empire meets its downfall. Senku’s plan gonna work. Until then, I will protect Y/N even if I have to dirty my own hand. I may be a coward, but for her, I will…”

“Ukyo? What’s wrong?”

Y/N peers at Ukyo who was silent for a moment, worried of his sudden silence. He also seems to be glaring…which she just shrugs it off as her imagination.

Ukyo snaps out of his train of thoughts and stare a while at Y/N’s face before softening his expression and genuinely smile at her.

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking of how much I love you .”

He says that so smoothly, making Y/N blush a bit.

“That’s right… I love you so much, I’m willing to change myself.”

Ukyo thought that as his smile turns into a cold one.

[tiggyfiretiger]

Soooo…. I have been inspired and I drew a thing! As you guys know, I love Barnaby and I’ve been obsessed with him for a while and even made a ask blog where you can ask him questions and I’d draw a picture, responding to the question as Barnaby! So, I was reading facts about him the other day and it said….

I was wondering how or what Barnaby does to handle these types of situations where people want to die of old age, since he doesn’t have any time related powers. That’s when I realized: Barnaby needs a little assistant to help him murder his party guests!

So, I’d like to introduce you all to my first BBU OC, Bartholomew the bat!

(Psssst! If you turn him upside down and look at his face, ignore the ears, you’ll see a little Easter egg in the outline of the head! Could that be the outline of Barnaby’s head?!)

I would’ve liked to choose a time related name for him, but Bartholomew was his WIP name and…. I think his name fits him quite well!

Now, Bartho here has Time magic. I had to come up with all of this from scratch, since the game isn’t out yet and no time related characters have been revealed, but basically, Bartho can manipulate time on himself and on others. He can make himself and others look and feel any age he wants, using his magic, he has technically found a way to make himself immortal by rewinding time on himself, as a result, he has lived countless lives, so his backstory can be anything you want! If you can think it, he’s probably lived it!

(This makes him kinda OP, i know, but I honestly can’t think of any drawbacks to this power, so if you have a suggestion, feel free to leave a comment!)

When Bartho went to go join Barnaby’s party, Bartho surprised Barnaby by saying that he wanted all the deaths that Barnaby could possibly think of. Barnaby questioned it of course, but when Bartho explained what he could do, I’d like to imagine that Barnaby probably had a heart attack out of joy! XD

Compared to Barnaby, Bartho is extremely tiny! About the size of a mouse! Barnaby can definitely eat him, if he wanted to!

I’d like to think that he is a clockmaker who loves clocks and watches and loves to fix them!

One of my favorite ideas I’ve come up for Bartho is that when he sleeps, he sways from side to side like a pendulum on a clock!

Concept art tiiime!

These were Bartho’s concepts, and they’re not pretty. I was going to post these the other day, but after looking at them some more, I decided that I wasn’t happy with either of them, and needed to go back to the drawing board and make something that I’m actually happy with! And yes, Bartho did have a tail at one point, but I quickly scrapped that idea, created a inspirational board on Pinterest, and tried to get inspired. The things that inspired Bartho’s design is Steampunk, clocks, other bat OCs, actual bats, furries, Halloween, autumn, and Of course, Barnaby!

I would have loved to have this somewhere on Bartho’s ghost design, but alas, I wanted it to be as easy to draw as Barnaby is, adding this would complicate things a lot. So I opted for a finished hourglass, signaling that his time alive is finished and that he has no need to keep track of time anymore. Because he can’t keep track of time in his ghost form, Bartho prefers to stay alive, but isn’t afraid of death, since he can just rewind time on himself. (Yay!!! My version of time magic is broken and OP! LOL!)

Before you guys ask, yes, you may make art of Bartho, just credit me as the creator of Bartho and show me if you do decide to draw them! I’d love to see! Oh! And tag it with #Bartho bat, that way I could find it easier!