#yes this is about dinner!ranboo

[nee-fragaria]

I love how Ranboo can make a character that we know nothing about, just some obscure random facts, that tell us nothing about them, and all of us just love the character.

[lowkeyrobin]

Omg mcyt when their crush asks them out, but the reader is just surprising chill? Like, it's so casual it's insane just a "Hey, you wanna go out sometime?" while scrolling through sm and chillling lmao

oooooo okay okay I see the vision ; thank you for requesting!!

MCYT ; nonchalant ask-out

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you were sitting on the train to go visit some friends for a stream

you were sitting next to the window, facing the back of the train, while he was on the opposite side, also sitting next to the window, although his backpack was perched so he could rest an arm on top of it

you turn to him and just kinda ask as you're passing a field of cows

"you wanna go bowling sometime? like, as a date? it's fine if you don't wanna" you shrug

Tommy just blinks as his cheeks get a little red

"Uh, sure. I mean, yeah!"

you guys get to where you're going and while he's with tubbo, more secluded from you, tells him about it

"y/n like, casually asked me out on the train and I said yes! I don't know what happened, it was so weird"

"they're concerningly laid back about everything, you know this"

"...true"

RANBOO

you were doing a stream watching flushed away

lots of laughter and fucking around considering you were on the couch sitting next to each other with a camera in front of you

"what is happening right now???"

"hey, Ran?"

"hm?"

"you wanna go to dinner sometime? like a date?"

chat explodes and you're trending on Twitter before he can even respond

"uhm, uh, yeah, sure"

"cool"

they later tweet a "that was unscripted, and weird. y/n is never streaming w me again"

you reply with "yeah, sure pal"

"okay y/ns steaming w me tmr night stay tuned!!"

FREDDIE BADLINU

you guys + harry were making puppets at his place for a little prank, and making your friends into puppets as well

you were making him while he was making Tommy, and harry was making kermit (??), making some conversation for the camera

you're mostly working on the floor next to Harry because the table wasn't big enough for the three of you

you look up and just kinda blurt it out

"Hey, Freddie, you wanna go rollerskating sometime?"

harrys the first to speak "what the hell?"

"sorry, bad time"

"wh-no, actually, I'd love too" Freddie smiles

he later edits that with some music like it's 2019, pixel meme glasses and all

"got a date, wwwww"

NIKI NIHACHU

you were both playing on the qsmp, and taking care of em

niki passed over some food bc you were building something for her and ran out of food

"Hey, niki, would you ever go on a date with me?"

"wh- oh, uh, I mean, yeah!"

"cool"

her chat explodes and so does yours LMAO

ppl clip it and it's a hot topic on qsmp tumblr for a week or so

you tweet after stream "date ideas, GO"

niki responds with "you have to come here first, y/n/n 😭"

ALEX QUACKITY

you were out exploring the city together for a little vlog on your alt channel

you were talking and having a good time and whatnot, exploring stores and restaurants and parks

"hey, Alex, would you ever like, date me, I guess?"

"yeah- I mean, uhm, I guess so"

"cool"

when you guys get back to the hotel he instantly gets on a call w some friends, whom are streaming, and quickly rants about it, leaving you nameless tho

you see the clipped bit on YouTube the next day and can't help but smile cause honestly w move

[faye-writes-stuff]

incorrect quo-

im doing it again because ✨writers block✨

------------

sapnap: Relationships should be 50/50. y/n cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

------------

y/n: Wait, you like me?? For my personality??? sapnap: I know, I was surprised too.

------------

sapnap: Talk dirty to me, baby~ y/n: The dishes. sapnap: Wh- y/n: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

------------

dream: We both look very handsome tonight. y/n: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you." dream: I couldn't take that chance

------------

dream: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles. y/n: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one? dream: Seize the dick.

y/n: you can just say your thinking about george.

------------

*y/n and dream are in Paris.* y/n: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny? dream: But... y/n: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and... dream: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception? y/n: Yeah. dream: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe. y/n: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION. dream: Okay, alright.

------------

charlie: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. y/n: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. charlie: Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? y/n: Is it working?

------------

y/n: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake? charlie: Aww- y/n: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

------------

c!y/n: Alright, listen up, you little shits. c!y/n at c!charlie: Not you, charlie. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled to have you here.

------------

y/n: *Screams* ranboo: *Screams louder to establish dominance* tubbo: Should we do something? tommy: No, I want to see who wins.

------------

y/n: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. ranboo: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! tubbo: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! tommy: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. y/n: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

------------

y/n: *Gently taps table* ranboo: *Taps back* tubbo: What are they doing? tommy: Morse code. y/n: *Aggressively taps table* ranboo: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

------------

y/n: Can I be frank with you guys? ranboo: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. tubbo: Can I still be tubbo? tommy: Shh, let Frank speak.

y/n: i hate it here

------------

y/n: This is bothering me. george: Well, you are digging up a corpse. y/n: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

------------

george: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. y/n: Killed without hesitation. george: No.

------------

y/n: You love me, right, george? george: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

------------

bro lmk if i should like make a taglist or smth idkkk 😭😭😭😭

or if there's any character you would like to see extras for :D

[calmthefuckdownalright]

"I like a man in uniform" HC's Dsmp

I have witnessed so many cosplays of L'manbur and GOOD GOD do some of you look wonderful. My favorite has to be the ones on the railroad tracks. Just the aesthetic is 👏👏👏. But yes I got inspired and this is the result.

Warnings: flirting, very little plot development, and flustered peoples. Very short 🙂

Summary: How some of the DSMP might react to you telling them you like them in uniform.

Contains: Quackity, Wilbur, Schlatt, Dream, and Ranboo (jokingly bc why not?)

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Quackity

(By uniform you meant his suspenders and red ascot/scarf thing. Y'know professional capitalist look ✨)

Honestly Quackity would just minorly panic but quickly throw on the charm

"Eeeeyyy really?! You do? Didn't take you for that kinda chica mamcita!"

Very ego boosting. Definitely a mistake to voice aloud.

Wilbur

(L'manbur in other words)

Finds it very nice and might stutter a little as he tries to avoid the obvious romantic comment

"Oh why thank you. Its ✨hand tailored✨."

Tommy in the background: "yeah his mum made it for him."

"You're wearing the EXACT same uniform!"

A scuffle breaks out between the two and you sit there eating popcorn.

Or

"Y/N I have a child."

Fundy in the background: "I'm twenty Wil-"

"And I love you my little champion ~"

It turns into a corny little minute of Wilbur just coddling Fundy.

OR (for you more romantic folk)

"Really? It's a bitch to get off, perhaps you'd like to help me this evening after dinner?" {insert winky face}

Smooth ass motherfucker right there

Schlatt

You have to grab Schlatt and fix his tie for him before you even say anything.

"Excuse me? What the fuck does that mean?!"

Totally flips out, turns a little red. If he's got a drink in his hand he drops it

Schlatt would grab you by the wrist and demand an explanation to which you'd boop his nose and reveal nothing.

It sets him on edge for the whole rest of the day. Like literally he's checking every reflective surface if his tie and jacket are straight.

Very subtle in the fact he really needed that to come from you of all people.

Dream

Orange jumpsuits really?

"Are you talking about my armor or how I am now?"

If you say his armor-

"Help me out of here and I'll wear it anywhere if you want."

If you say his jumpsuit-

"So you're into bad boys huh? Well lucky for you I'm clearly pretty bad at a lot of things."

Something cheesy that makes you giggle which makes him light up inside.

Ranboo (platonic joke-ish)

Stuttering fumbling mess

Like mans cannot keep themselves together

You start laughing with Tubbo and earn several gifted subs off the bet you wouldn't say it

"Ranboo it was a bet calm down!"

"You're despicable."

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Made incorrect quotes for Temporal Transcendence(WIP). Why am I so obsessed with incorrect quotes.

-

Wilbur: You love me, right, Tommy?

Tommy: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

-

Tommy: This is such a bad idea.

Wilbur: Then why are you coming along?

Tommy: One of us needs to be able to talk the other Mages out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

-

Techno: Here's some advice.

Dave the Blood God: I didn't ask for any.

Techno(been a statue for a whole century now): Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who can hear me.

-

Young Tommy: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Techno: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

-

Techno: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Wilbur: You need to stop.

-

Tommy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

The Time Mages: Wasn't Supreme Time Mage Jacobs with you?

Karl: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

-

Wilbur: HELP! I TOLD TECHNO I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Phil, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

-

Wilbur: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Tommy: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Wilbur: Yes!

Techno: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

-

Tommy: *Screams*

Sapnap: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Wilbur: Should we do something?

Karl: No, I want to see who wins.

-

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Phil: Shit.

Techno: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Tommy: OH MY GOD WILBUR FELL OFF!!!

-

Quackity, a Time Mage, about Tommy: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.

Sapnap: Are we stealing them?

Karl: New or used?

Quackity: Wonderful responses, both of you.

-

Techno: Bianca, I'm sad.

Bianca Nihachu: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.

Tommy: Bo, I'm sad.

Bo Underscore, nodding: mood.

-

Karl: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Tommy: You and me!!!

Karl, tearing up: Okay.

-

Wilbur: I turned out perfectly fine!

Tommy: Wilbur, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.

Wilbur: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

-

Phil: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Techno: What's that?

Phil: You've never had leftovers???

Techno(grew up poor): No, because I'm not a quitter.

-

Tubbo: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?

Ranboo: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Tommy?

Tommy: Probably "road work ahead".

Techno: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

-

(These are for the sequel if I ever get around to it)

Wilbur, pretending to be General Soot of L'Manburg: What's up guys? I'm back.

Nemesis Nihachu: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.

Wilbur, sweating: Death is a social construct.

-

Tommy: You have to apologize to General Soot.

Wilbur: Fine.

Wilbur: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

-

General Soot: I really like this whole 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on.

Wilbur: It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and Tommy isn't.

-

Wilbur: I think we're missing something.

Tommy: Teamwork?

Techno: Cohesion?

Nemesis: A general sense of what we're doing?

-

Tommy: Have you seen a person named 'Technoblade' around here?

Antarctic Empire Citizen: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Tommy: It looks fine to me?

Citizen: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

-

General Soot: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Tommy: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Tobias: I got distracted about halfway through.

Nemesis: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

-

Techno: Why is Wilbur so sad?

Tommy: He took one of those "Which L'Manburg-Era Historical Figure Are You?" quizzes.

Techno: And...?

Tommy: He got General Soot.

-

Tommy: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

General Soot: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

-

General Soot, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Tobias: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Soot, with the tone of someone who is used to Tobias: Outstanding.

Soot: This is what I’m talking about people.

-

Wilbur: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

General Soot: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.

Wilbur: Joke's on you, I can't do math.

-

Tommy: Just be yourself.

Wilbur: 'Be myself'? Tommy, I have one day to win the L'Manburg soldiers over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Tommy: Couple weeks.

Phil: Six months.

Techno: Jury's still out.

Wilbur: See, Tommy?

Wilbur: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

-

General Soot: I'm an idiot.

Wilbur:

Tommy:

Nemesis:

Techno:

Soot:

Wilbur: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

-

Nemesis: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?

Tommy: *sighing* "General Soot".

Wilbur, trying(and failing) to talk like Soot: Fuck shit up out there, but don't die.

Tobias: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

-

[lillylvjy]

helloo! id just like to say that ur fics are really good ^^ i also have a request! could you maybe do a part two of this fic? thank you :D

Ahh yes!!! I loved writing that fic so much and I’m happy people liked Em in it too! Sadly none of Em this time but… maybe part 3??? One more thing, this is more ranboo x reader (platonic) than Wilbur x reader and I apologize for that! Again maybe a part 3. Also thank you so much and I’m so sorry that this is so late 😭I hope you enjoy!!

(Reader is female in this)

Warning: maybe a swear word??? Wilbur and reader being idiots in love, ranboo being themselves. (Please tell me if I missed anything!)

“Oh god. I don’t know what to wear! RAN?!” You yelled as you dug through your closet.

“Yeah what’s up?!” Ranboo yells back to you as they mindlessly scrolls through Twitter.

“Can you please come here real quick?” You asked your brother as you peaked your head through the door to look at them. To say the least you looked like a mess. Your hair was everywhere, you were still in your pajamas, and you looked like you just ran a marathon.

“What have you been doing?!” Ranboo asked you as they got up and followed you to your room. Your room was usually neat and organized, but now it was messy and looked like a tornado came in and ruined the neatness. Which was very uncommon for you.

“I’ve been trying to find a outfit to wear for the past hour and I don’t think I do. Oh no! I’m going to have to cancel the date! And he’s going to think it’s because I don’t like him and it’s going to rui-“

“Y/n! Calm down. I’ll help you. Your not canceling this date, considering I had to listen to Wilbur talk about it all day yesterday. And plus, I am a fashion icon after all.” Ranboo smirked at you as they walked towards your closet.

Ever since the day Wilbur asked ranboo about asking you on a date, Wilbur’s been stuck on it. So finally about a week ago, he finally got the courage to ask you while you were hanging out with him in the studio.

Wilbur was playing a snippet of the song they were working on for you on his guitar. As he played, you just sat there, listening, admiring him as he got lost in the music. He looked angelic.

“So? What do you think?” Wilbur’s question knocked you out of your thoughts. As he looked up, he saw you smiling softly at him as you continued to just admire him. Wilbur’s cheeks flushed red as he smiled back at you.

‘Screw it.’ He thought as he got up and walked over to you.

“Hey. I have a quick question. Would you maybe want to go out with me? For dinner? Just like… is two?” Wilbur asked, his voice shaky and nervous. Afraid of the possible rejection that may follow.

“Like- like a date?” You asked while looking at him with the biggest smile ever.

Wilbur looked at you, surprised you knew what he was after, and nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah like a date!” Wilbur finished the sentence with a big lopsided grin on his face.

You laughed at the look on his face and lifted your hand to his face. You ran your hands through his hair, and brought them down to gently cup his face. “Of course. I would love to go on a date with you.” You smiled at him while rubbing his cheek bones. The slight stubble on his face tickling the palms of your hands.

“Oh thank god. If you said no, that… would be really embarrassing.” Wilbur laughed awkwardly as your giggled at his words.

“How could I say no to such a handsome person?” You asked him in a slightly whispery tone. Wilbur’s face flushed red and leaned forward to hide his face in your neck. As you laughed at him, you both heard other sets of laughs in the room.

As you both looked towards the door, you both saw Ash and James with food in their hands, smirking. “I see we interrupted something. Did Wilbur finally grow some balls and ask you on a date?” James asked you as he came in and set the food down on the table.

“Yeah. We are.” You said smiling at the two friends.

“Thank god! I can finally go a day without him talking and asking us about you.” James teased.

“James I swear to god, I will fuck you.” Wilbur said to james as he sat down next to you and got your food.

After that day, all you could think about was finding the perfect outfit and the perfect place, since Wilbur said it was your pick. You chose a simple fancier restaurant that has a variety of food. But outfits for you, were always a struggle.

“Ok! Wait! I have it! This is going to be great!” Ranboo yelled as their head was deep in your closet. They came out with these maroon colored pants and a cream colored button shirt. “Ok so this with…. Some docs? Maybe converse? It depends on the jewelry!” Once they said that they ran to your bathroom and pulled out some gold jewelry. “Ok put all that on and I’ll decide the shoes once your ready.” Ranboo left your room and closed the door behind them.

As you put all of the items on and looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked good. Like, really good.

‘Damn you Ran and your sense of fashion.’ You thought as you went into their room and cleared your throat to get their attention.

“So? What do we think?” You asked them as you posed and did a little twirl.

“You look so good Y/n! I knew it’d look good on you! Ok now, shoes.” Ranboo got up and went back to room, straight to the closet. “Ok I’m thinking docs. They will pull the look together and make you look smart and beautiful. Just like always.” They said as you smiled at them and pushed their shoulder.

“Yeah yeah! Stop being all nice! Thank you boo. Truly. I owe you one!” You said as you gave them a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll take you up on that! And it’s not a problem. I always liked picking out your clothes.” They said right before there was a knock on your apartment door.

“Shit! He’s here! How do I look?” You asked him as you fixed your hair and jewelry.

“You look amazing. Now stop worrying and go out and have fun with him. You both deserve it.” Ranboo said while grabbing your shoulders, turning you around and pushing your towards the door.

“Ok! Ok! I’m going.” You laughed as you grabbed your wallet. You grabbed your coat and slipped it on as Ranboo opened the door and created Will.

“Hey Wilbur. How are ya’?” Ranboo asked as you stood next to them.

“Hey, yeah um, I’m good! How are you?” He asked them as he looked at you with a smile.

“Oh I’m just dandy!” They said as you sighed and groaned.

“I forgot my keys! I’ll be right back, and don’t say anything stupid!” You pointed your finger at Ranboo as you started to walk away from the pair.

“Ok, let’s get this straight. You take her to dinner, have fun, no funny business, bring her right back home and call it an amazing date. Ok?” Ranboo whispered to Wilbur as you walked back to the pair.

“Ranboo don’t worry. She’s in good hands, and that’s a promise.” Wilbur said to your brother as he took your hand in his and smiled down at you. “you look amazing my love” He said as he looked at you and your outfit

“Why thank you! Thanks to this genius of a person who has a better taste in fashion than I do.” You said, pointing at Ranboo who just smirked and waved your words off.

“You look beautiful no matter what you wear.” Wilbur flirted with you as you flushed red and smiled at the ground. All the while this was happening, Ranboo was just staring at you two with the most annoyed face known to man.

“Ok! We get it! You two are in love! Now go! Have fun!” Ranboo ushered you both out the door.

“You ready?” Wilbur asked you as you both stood at the top of the staircase that led to the apartment.

“Yes I am.” You smiled back up at him and started to walk down to the sidewalk. Your apartment was fairly close to the restaurant so you both decided to take a nice little walk.

“Remember! No funny business! And be home by 11!” Ranboo yelled at you two as you both laughed at his words.

“Ok mom!” You yelled back at your brother as you and Will turned the corner out of sight.

“Yeah. That’s right. I’m mom now!” Ranboo said with pride as they shut the front door to the apartment.

taglist: @deadphantomsociety @aimi-chann @jadeissues @art3m1s-adelia @romancingdaffodils @hop-scotchh @z0vamp (if I missed anyone or you want to be added, please tell me and I’ll gladly add you.)

[faebriel]

and you caused it: chapter 5

In which Niki has a terrible secret, Puffy just wants to move on, Tommy sneaks into casino parties and Wilbur learns to deal with anger being justified. Or - the one thing they don’t warn you of, when dropping nuclear warheads on old friends, is fallout.

in chapter 5: resolutions are made on phil's verandah, wilbur finally understands how horrible it would be to die in a ravine underground, and once-old friends are made new again. niki, again, finds herself baking a cake.

welcome to the final entry! thank you so much for reading <3

wc: 5.6k

(cw: this chapter includes discussion of suicidal ideation.)

so life in the arctic settles back into relative normality.

there are still some patches of it that are painfully awkward - tubbo and techno are still trying to find their footing as they trawl the compound’s outskirts for sight of ranboo, and tommy still has his moments where he can’t stand to be near any of them without shouting his voice out, and wilbur and niki try very hard to pretend that the other doesn’t exist whenever they cross paths at breakfast and dinner. it feels like pulling on an old coat, one that’s too tight at the shoulders and too short at the sleeves. not quite familiar, not quite right.

at some point tubbo does curtly inform niki that tommy has forgiven her, and that he appreciates what she did for them in the underground city. niki is able to see the gap between those two sentences, but even if she doesn’t have tubbo’s forgiveness yet, she recognises and appreciates the olive branch.

they’re not quite friends anymore. she and techno and phil are still close, of course - but everyone else. the hurt was a long time ago, long enough that she thought it might have healed on its own, but the explosion and the mess dream made of her city have ripped the scabs wide open and she’s not entirely sure if they’re going to heal the same way again. that they won’t heal ragged.

but she’s getting used to it.

niki has a strange relationship with mourning. fungi, wilbur, l’manberg, the untimely disappearances of jack and fundy and puffy and so many more people from her life - she’s never quite managed to get it right. it’s always too much, enough for it to feel like it’s burning her alive. this, though… she knows she’s burnt those bridges, but she’s managing. they’re managing. they’re civil, and sometimes tommy offers to help her bake still, and techno spars with her out in the snow, and even though everything fell apart she’s not lonely. she’s not on her own anymore. fucked up and distant and hurtful as they all can be, they can exist in each other’s spaces now.

and the thing about the syndicate - and by extension, the arctic - is that they’re always busy. phil, niki and techno have their duties, of course (mostly book club. especially after niki returned from the city. but there’s still dream out on the server somewhere, and even if the syndicate technically has no quarrel with him, neither of them ever argue with the bitter scowl that settles on her face whenever she’s reminded of what he did to her city). tommy tends to stick to the compound, but he still feeds the animals and mends the fences and follows phil and techno like a duckling to the occasional abandoned mansion or village. wilbur goes for… walks. tubbo gets all thin-mouthed if he stays in the arctic for too long and ends up making off for a day in snowchester, no matter the hissed arguments he and tommy keep having on the front porch of the stables about it (techno’s guest room overlooks the paddock, and she doesn’t think they know she can hear them every time).

there’s always something to do. this is good for niki - she likes to keep her hands busy, she likes to feel like she’s helping. she fixes fences and feeds the turtles and babysits michael and yes, she bakes. she’s doing pretty well with feeling content these days, she’s not often sad - and at least when she is, she has something to devote her time towards instead.

(it stings that wilbur barely even talk to her anymore. she’d rather that than have either of them get into a spat and say something they would regret, though.

even this, still, doesn’t last forever.)

—

there are some days where tubbo wants to go look for ranboo (still missing - that is something that still troubles niki, something they can all agree on) and that means techno wants to go out as well, and then tommy insists on acting as escort whenever tubbo and techno are left alone together, and phil tags along under the excuse of making sure everyone comes back with their heads intact (untrue - niki thinks he’s scouting for another build site). so, of course, someone has to look after michael.

tubbo deposits him like a small sandbag in niki’s arms.

(there’s a secret hierarchy to who gets to babysit michael, one that niki only noticed about the sixth time tubbo asked her to babysit immediately after tommy said no - phil first, then tommy, then niki, and then… tubbo still doesn’t seem to like leaving michael with wilbur or techno without some kind of supervision.)

he’s a fairly lax parent, when it comes to babysitting - and it helps that michael is apparently used to staying inside, moving from house to ravine to cabin. he has colouring books and paints and a few hardcover picture books phil donated when tubbo moved up north and even a wooden toy sword, not that he uses it often. tubbo rattles off something about how he’s starting michael on some piston miniatures - tubbo has been putting them together this week, when he found the time (niki looks at the dark violet bags beneath his eyes…) - and that michael can keep playing with those if he wants, but nothing more than a finger-scrape of redstone yet please, because he’s not entirely sure what will happen if michael decides to try eating it. niki nods, and silently resolves to keep the pistons in their chest until tubbo returns.

michael is perfectly behaved, as he tends to be, and after an evening tiring himself out explaining his puzzles to niki he’s all curled up under blankets and sleeping softly on the worn, old couch. (there is a child’s bed in the spare room now, but tubbo is remarkably hot and cold on whether he likes it actually being used.) niki keeps an eye on him while she floats through the kitchen, brewing another batch of radiation sickness treatment. it’s another large one, with all three of them living in the arctic most of the time.

it’s almost peaceful, until wilbur makes his way down the stairs.

it would seem easy for them to keep ignoring each other. they have been ignoring each other, to some degree. but that’s only when wrapped in the buffers of other people. neither of them can last long in a quiet room, and after a few awkward minutes, wilbur makes his way outside.

after a few more - just long enough to take the potions off the boil, stack them in the kitchen chests and tidy up the spilt sugar - niki follows.

He’s smoking again, she realises. The cigarette winks like a tiny amber star in his hand, fallen from the night that blankets the arctic around them. “You shouldn’t be smoking again,” she duly informs his back. If she’s startled him, if he didn’t expect her presence, he doesn’t show it. “Are they out?” he asks instead. “They are.” No point wishing for pleasantries. “Looking for Ranboo again.” “Ah.” Wilbur’s chin tips towards at that, a weight upon his shoulders – he leans heavy against the railing, as if it props up most of his weight. She creeps forward, letting her fingers find the railing beside him. The wood is cold underneath her hands, laced with frost. “You were close, weren’t you?” He doesn’t answer. Niki bites her lip. “I’m sorry, Wil.” He barks out a humourless laugh. “It’s not like I was any good for him, in the end. I wouldn’t be surprised if he went down in flames with the casino.” “The comms would have notified us if that happened. I didn’t see a message.” Is that what Wilbur’s thinking to himself now, wondering if he had somehow missed it? It wouldn’t be the first time he let himself believe something entirely untrue. “And that doesn’t mean that you didn’t care for him. That it doesn’t hurt you.” Wilbur doesn’t look at her anymore. Not since that night over the crater, when she refused to tell him where Tommy was (does he wonder about that night? Does he ask himself how he didn’t know? Would he have ever known, if it weren’t for Dream?) - no more glances exchanged in the middle of one of Tubbo’s rambling or Tommy’s rants, no cheeky smiles and inside jokes, nothing. She still can’t tell whether she prefers it or not - whether she would rather see his expression twist into dismissive disgust when he lays eyes on her, or not at all. He still doesn’t look at her now, staring into the pearl-white plain stretching before them, as far as the eye can see from left to right before nestling itself into throngs of pine - but there’s a shift in his shoulders, the slightest incline of his head. He’s listening. “Tommy told me that you two were working together,” she continues. “Briefly.” He pauses, takes another drag. Niki resists the urge to crinkle her nose up. She’s never liked the smell of cigarette smoke. “Tommy didn’t say he’d been talking to you.” “We’ve been talking quite a bit, recently.” “Apparently.” His tone is not what she expected it to be - not that, really, she knew what to expect at all. Perhaps jealous. Instead, he sounds almost impressed, if humourlessly. “You did a good thing with the ravine, Niki. They needed to be somewhere safe. It was a good thing for you to do. Selfless, really.”

Now, that makes Niki turns to face him – his ember-lit profile, silhouetted against the snowdrift glow. She narrows her eyes, though, cautious. “I didn’t do it for your approval, Wilbur,” Niki says. He doesn’t even say anything to that one, just angles his face that slightest bit towards hers - just enough to catch his eye. His gaze is too assessing. She’s always been honest with Wilbur, anyway. “Not your approval specifically,” she amends. Wilbur hums. “Maybe it was too selfless,” he says - there’s that thoughtful note in his voice, musing. “You were always the good one, you know? Even in - even in Pogtopia, yeah? It was always, what would Niki think of this. That’s what Tommy would ask, all the fucking time.” He laughs. Niki does not want to ask what he thinks is so funny. “Drove me nuts.” “Is that why it didn’t work, in the end?” she asks. The question is clumsy, but it strikes Wilbur with all the clarity it needs - laughter immediately swallowed. “No,” he tells her. “No, Niki, that had nothing to do with you.” And isn’t it pathetic, that a sentence like that still stings? “People can always change, Wilbur. People do change.” Not that Wilbur has ever had it easy grasping that. This conversation, this argument - one they never even had - is almost two years old. Wilbur is dead and buried and pulled back again through the span of it. And still, it matters to her.  She sucks in a breath. The coldness stings her lungs, as if frostbite can gnaw at her from the inside out. “I think I changed.”

“Did I ever know you, at all?” Wilbur asks. The question is immediate, as if he’s been holding it on his tongue for some time longer than the last few minutes - days, weeks, maybe even years, like her. Keeping it close to his chest, keeping it warm and alive by nestling it in flesh and blood. “Of course you did,” she tells him. “You were one of my closest friends, Wilbur.” And I was yours, she doesn’t say, because Niki knows when she’s pushing it. He looks touched, even if it’s not what he meant by the question. “You knew me. In Pogtopia.” “Wil, I know that you were sorry - ” “I am,” he interrupts her. “I - I was. I know what you’re going to say, Niki,” his voice goes half-mocking, “that I was myself in L’Manberg, and then I changed. I changed, not that I knew exactly what I was - not that I knew it the whole time.” Niki’s mouth opens to retort - but Wilbur raises a hand to stop her, as if he’s expecting it. “That’s what you thought, wasn’t it?” Niki lets her mouth fall closed, sheepish. “I know it was wrong.” “Maybe. But I was listening, then and now - I don’t think it ever mattered how long we knew each other, Niki. There was too much you didn’t know. There was too much I couldn’t bear anyone else to know, I couldn’t bear anyone else to carry, that I couldn’t - ” he waves the cigarette in her direction. “Fuck, Niki, did you even know I smoked?” She looks down her nose at the small, glowing thing. “It’s not a very attractive trait.” Wilbur snorts out a laugh. “Right.” Doesn’t stop him from taking another drag. He’s not rude enough to blow smoke in her direction, or anything like that - but she catches him sending an expectant look her way after he exhales, like he’s waiting for her to tear him a new one over it. And seeming none too displeased about it, either. She doesn’t, for the record. All she does is roll her eyes slightly, and that seems to fulfil whatever Wilbur is looking for. “Y’know, I always thought - all that. I always thought, that’s me. This shitty, in-com-prehendable mess - I mean, you saw me, Niki, I was a mess. And I always thought that was just me. But… I don’t know. I’m starting to think there’s more than a few fucked up people on this server, honestly.” And everything seems less funny. Colder. “I don’t think I ever knew you,” Wilbur says, as conversationally as if they were discussing the weather. “How - how bad did it get? After I died?” “How bad did what get?” “You. Everything. I - everything. This server.” All Niki can do is shrug helplessly, swallowing the rabbit-hop kicking of her heart in her chest, in her throat. “I don’t know what to tell you. Things were bad, Wilbur. We were all mourning, we were grieving. Grief made it worse.” She leans against the railing, letting her weight sink into it. “It wasn’t all you, of course. There was - there was the Egg, and all of that. And so many other things, probably, I wouldn’t have known about it all.” Wilbur snorts again. Quietly, he echoes it wasn’t all about you under his breath. And Niki, her heart freezes over in her chest. A cold stone, sitting in the back of her throat - it sits there, with the last of her petty secrets. What else does she have to lose? Nothing. You know what they say, her mind reminds her, about a woman that has nothing to lose.

“I was thinking about killing myself.” The laughter stops. She’s not looking at him. She’s looking down at her hands again, fingers pale against the wooden rail, imagining them frostbitten. Imagining herself as a walking woman of ice, cold and clear and unaffected by the words she finally says aloud. She can see his hand too, next to hers - the other is holding the cigarette. His grip on the railing tightens. She told him this, she thought. He doesn't act like she had. He doesn't act like he understood fully until she spelled it out plainly. “Not - I didn’t make any plans for it,” she rushes to explain. “But I just assumed, I think… I just assumed that one day I would just get too hungry, or get too sick on my own in the city, and…” The ending of the sentence, that’s the difficult bit. She traces the grain of the wood with her thumb. “And it would all be over.” “You wouldn’t,” Wilbur chokes out. “I know, I know. There’s - there’s limbo. I didn’t believe in it for a long time, though. Did you know, Perfect is an endless life server? No - no death, really. I always thought that here must be the same, until…” She pauses. “L’Manberg wasn’t itself anymore, it was eating my friends alive - it ate you alive. I had nothing to care about, I had nothing to live for left. It was just… revenge. You don’t have to like it, but that was what kept me going. I was - I was so hungry, Wil. I was so hungry, but I couldn’t even bring myself to eat. I didn’t feel like I was living.” Finally, she lifts her head. Wilbur looks almost shellshocked. “...I didn’t want you to feel like that. I never want you to feel like that. Ever.” “It wasn’t your fault.” “Yes, yes, I know, but - you know I wouldn’t want you to be in that place, ever, don’t you?” A shadow casts over his expressed - half panicked, half soured. “Even after that stupid fucking casino - never, Niki. I didn’t mean for it to come to that. You have to believe me, I didn’t.”

“It wouldn’t have,” she assures him. “There was Tommy and Tubbo,” she nods towards the door leading back inside, “and Michael, as well. I couldn’t have.” A horribly morbid thought takes over her. “I wouldn’t have had the space, for one.” Wilbur does not laugh. In fact, he looks quite stern about the whole thing. “That’s not funny.” “I wasn’t joking!” she says - not quite defensively, but almost. She takes this seriously. “The three of them, they just take up so much space. And the mess…” Wilbur looks just about ready to harrumph at her - funny how the tables turn so quickly, now that the suicidal breakdown is on the other foot - but he comes up with nothing besides a few unhappy-looking expressions. “It was just hard,” she continues, eventually. “All I cared about was killing Tommy. I didn’t think about what that would have meant, what would happened if we pulled it off…” Wilbur is quiet. Niki breathes out another disappointed laugh. “I suppose I didn’t care about much of anything at all,” she says. “If we pulled it off?” Wilbur asks. She looks up at him, and - his gaze cuts right through her, steely and dark as anything. “Hm?” “There was always someone else, wasn’t there?” he asks - no, this is closer to a demand. Not in its ferocity - Wilbur is markedly gentle, and Niki gets the feeling she is going to have to get used to the feeling of kid gloves for a while - but in its intent. “It wasn’t just you.” Niki stiffens. “That isn’t my business to tell.” “Not my business,” Wilbur echoes, voice pitching up and down in all the wrong places - “isn’t it? Isn’t this how we got here?” “I got here because Techno half-dragged me back,” Niki shoots back at him, “and because Tommy was kind enough to ask him to. Does it matter if there was someone else? Really?” He pouts, the melodramatic thing. “I guess not.” She resists the urge to sigh. She might not have felt much kinship with Jack during their brief partnership - no, what they had was darker and emptier than kinship, barely even allies - but now, she can care for him in retrospect. She doesn’t want to bring the full storm of Wilbur’s frustration and confusion down on him, especially if he’s still in the same state Niki saw him in last. Her heart twinges, not for the first time. It keeps doing that when she thinks of Jack. If it weren’t for how empty those months were, how heartless and cold, Niki would almost think that she misses him. “It doesn’t matter, anyway,” she glosses over it. “I still made those choices. I knew what I was doing. I wanted him dead, so badly… it was an ugly feeling.” Is that what it felt like to be Wilbur, back in that ravine? She guesses it’s the closest she’s ever felt. She hopes it’s the closest she’ll ever be to how Wilbur felt. “So now you know me,” she concludes, “properly. And I know you.” “I suppose I do.” He huffs out a sigh. Niki bites down on another definitely-unwanted comment about the smoking. “We can’t do this one over, can we.” “I don’t think we can.” “Flown too close to the sun,” Wilbur murmurs. “Are we ever going to go back to normal?”

Wilbur considers it. “...was normal ever any good? Did it ever do any good, for us?” he asks. Did it? Oh, Niki longs for normal. She longs for summer days in redwoods that never seemed to end; she longs for the smell of bread and wildflowers wrapping her in their embrace. She longs for feeling secure, for feeling comfortable and safe. She longs for the time when she knew who her friends were, and knew that list of friends was one she wouldn’t be able to count on two hands. She longs for when things were easy. Less complicated. Normal. Yes, part of her still longs for L’Manberg. The old L’Manberg, her home. But that place is long dead. She thinks of her bakery - now burned, and thinks of every second she felt unappreciated. Every time she felt hungry, every time that she let herself starve. She thinks of the safety that slipped through her fingers like sand the moment that the old day ticked over into the new. She thinks of being stolen from. She thinks of walking on glass, never knowing if her home and her things would be griefed for kicks. She thinks of how much she trusted Wilbur, and the cigarettes he must have hidden in his office - she would have known about them, otherwise. She thinks of the cracks that she couldn’t see, but were there nonetheless. “No,” she decides. She cannot tell if it feels more like a victory, or a defeat. Maybe both, maybe neither - maybe, just plain relief. “I don’t think it was.” The quiet reigns. "I'd like to get to know you," she adds, barely louder than a whisper. Being vulnerable with Wilbur has always been easy, to some degree. He thinks on it. She can tell, because he goes quiet for a moment - a long moment - and it takes him a few tries to answer, mustering up breath for nothing. The seconds drag their feet. Niki watches birds play in the distant treeline. "I think I would like that," Wilbur answers, and when Niki finally looks towards him, he looks almost content.

and that is almost peace.

they are interrupted by a flurry of shouts over the horizon, one that snaps them both to attention. a small set of figures (figurines, really) stagger through the snow - when niki squints she can see techno leading the pack, charging through the snowdrifts with purpose, tommy buzzing around him like a golden insect. tubbo trails behind both, utterly fixed on something, as phil follows with haste.

"oh, my god," niki says, a murmur trailing tall into a cry, as wilbur's hand comes to cover his mouth - 

ranboo, slung over techno's shoulder.

there is going to be a reckoning over ranboo, weeks trapped in enderwalk, exhausted and bruised - over books and puppeteers and stacks of dynamite, over why it took so long for anyone to see dream as a threat, over how he roams the hills of the server with netherite in hand and blood on his mind - the fight rolling in like bad weather as they all stand shoulder-to-shoulder in the rain.

that's later, though, and something niki has no desire to lose friends over anyway - for now she clears space on the dining table as wilbur ushers michael into a spare bedroom, sticking his head through the doorframe to watch as techno dumps the kid's worn and bloodied body on the table and tommy shoves himself forward with torn cloth in one hand and the first of many healing potions in the other. for now she hovers by the doorway, one hand on tubbo’s shoulder, and waits for the sun to rise.

—

ranboo’s recovery takes a long time. he’s not dead, thank the stars above, but when techno and tubbo dragged him back to the arctic he was worn and filthy and callused in places that niki didn’t even know could get calluses. and they’re terrified, literally terrified on their own shadow, and there are nights where ranboo traipses up the stairs and sleeps in that spare bed in techno’s house (curled up around themself, like a turtle in its shell - niki knows, she wandered in one morning while they were still asleep) and tubbo goes out to stay in the little shack he and tommy have built near her cabin and it’s nothing but tommy’s loud ramblings that breaks the silence for days. niki thinks back to the dinner they all had, descending into arguments, and thinks of tommy’s words afterwards - and for a while, she genuinely does think they’re going to divorce. love has been made a martyr for less.

but they don’t. or, if they did, it was amicable enough that niki hasn’t noticed.

she’s never seen michael happier now that both of his dads are around, and he has a way of practically forcing everyone to get along - if he wasn’t so little, niki would almost suspect him of weaponising how cute he is whenever it looks like someone is going to fall into a spat again. tubbo unwinds - some days, he even smiles like he did back in l’manberg. he and ranboo spend a lot of time with the turtles. the bags under tommy’s eyes stay stubbornly dark, but he stops holding himself like he’s constantly waiting for someone to throw a punch, and lo and behold, he starts to get - loud. he follows techno and wilbur around like a squabbling bird, a cuckoo making itself well and comfy in the nest. wilbur, for his part, tends to just roll his eyes while making some equally immature and snippy comment back at tommy, as he passes niki her mug of tea.

and finally, they can all breathe.

niki starts to feel like everything is going to be alright.

—

they don’t do proper surprises anymore - it’s not safe to walk around with a blindfold, and niki gets uneasy when one of them is wandering off on their own for too long - but tommy insists that the four of them have a surprise for niki and then immediately slams his hand over tubbo’s mouth and starts filling the air with his and wilbur’s latest adventures (tommy claims to have found shroud a wife, who chased wilbur from the pine forest to the fences around the compound for a solid half hour) before tubbo can spoil anything.

they don’t tell her where they’re going, but niki knows the pathway to her city better than anyone.

a hush falls over the five of them (god, they move in packs these days, don't they) as they descend the staircase - not quite hand in hand, with the exception of ranboo and tubbo, but certainly shoulder to shoulder. niki, tommy, tubbo and michael are almost hyperaware of the damage that's been done to this place already, and ranboo is having one of his healthy degree of suspicion, or anxiety days. it's a slow descent. halfway down the steps tommy is possessed with a sudden, jerky shudder, and niki thinks for a moment that he's going to turn back - but he steels himself, chewing ferociously on his bottom lip, and soldiers on regardless.

she still isn't sure how to feel about her city anymore. it was supposed to be a safe refuge - but sometime it had stopped being her refuge from anything, and dream has certainly proven that it wasn't safe. she stays at the arctic these days, because she's come to realise that being around people is better for her at the moment. but that doesn't mean she doesn't miss it.

until she reaches the bottom step.

the place is still chaos, mostly. the dirt is still in piles on the ground, even if it has been swept to the walls. the stone is still pockmarked with the unmistakable imprints of TNT. iron beams, bent and broken, stick out of her ceiling like the ribs of a rotting creature. but - 

there is a small patch of grass tucked into a crevice, spotted with azalea bushes and wildflowers, surrounded with a short stack of beehives. a jukebox sits on the corner, spinning to itself - she doesn't recognise the melody, something quiet and stringy and sweet. the sound is almost lost under the hum of the bees clustered around tallest flowers, watching the newcomers with dark, curious eyes.

she cries.

(niki remembers, back when they all lived under the ground together - and what a nightmare that was - tubbo never spontaneously renovated her farms or walkways or bedrooms sitting unused without asking permission first.)

they made an exception for the beehive nook, but they still do ask: would she mind, terribly, if they spent some time fixing up the place? nothing too obtrusive. just fixing up the walls, mending the shattered beacon, rebuilding the high-speed rail network tubbo constructed from her kitchens to the apartments - tubbo's been nursing some thoughts on the place ever since their impromptu stay, and ranboo's been awfully curious about the city since their return, and frankly michael's missed the novelty of the underground - 

it’s not all right. they don’t wear caution well, never have. but part of her still sings, they asked. they know how important niki’s city is to her, watched her heart be ripped out and strewn across the floor, like every handful of dirt - and they asked.

so the syndicate (and associates) find themselves a new hobby. 

techno hauls debris up the staircase, dragging out broken chunks of walkways and rails as the others carry stacks of wooden planks down them. tommy throws himself into the thick of it, helping out wherever an extra hand is needed - the two of them almost trip each other up a few times, but they make it work. tubbo is in charge of the redstoning, setting up some complex kind of security system of tripwires and lights and pistons, so that next time niki needs to lock someone out, she can. iron is embedded in the walls of the city, along with long threads of redstone, like a shield built into every cave and cavern.

he also makes a valiant effort to supercharge a furnace for niki’s bakery. it doesn’t work like that, which she politely explains to him after he and tommy almost set the place on fire with their attempt at korova cookies - but michael does snack on a few of them that least resemble chunks of charcoal, and he seems quite pleased with their efforts. she appreciates the gesture, anyway, and then very kindly and very definitively sends them out of the kitchen until it is absolutely done being rebuilt.

ranboo takes it upon themself to piece the library back together. restoring books comes strangely easily to them, as wilbur hovers over their shoulder offering both unsolicited approval and advice and as they gossip with shy in a mixture of warbles and clicks. altogether, they’ve only missed a couple - and not that niki minds, not when she sees the lovely decorations and lamps that he and phil have carved from shroomlights.

tommy's supposedly in charge of the animals, balancing bowls of water and birdseed through the newly-planted pines for meowth and stubbornly hacking at the stone until he can make a nice little slope for wobbuffet to walk down, leading right into a stable cosy with the smell of hay and sugarcubes. michael fingerpaints a mural across the side of the stable as they all work, a beautiful scene in the brightest colours of a farm and a forest and turtles sitting on a snowy shoreline. that earns him a big cuddle from niki, and when she looks over at tubbo - acting first, thinking second, like she's coming to accept that she just does - he looks almost at ease in a way she hasn't seen in a long time.

phil presses another totem of undying into her hand when the others aren’t looking. he wants to give her the chance to stretch her wings again, but he wants her to stay safe.

wilbur, doing a poor job of hiding his contribution behind his back as they loiter in phil’s cabin,  swears up and down it's not a flag (as techno, sitting at the kitchen table, loudly questions what he thinks a flag is, then) and presents a banner in pale shades of white and purple - spotted with the shaky outlines of wildflowers and ender particles for shy. he says it's a mock-up, something niki can sew up properly later if she likes. she hangs it, with all of its messy, dropped stitches, above the doorway of her bakery.

it isn't safe, not anymore. and in the state she's recovering from, niki doesn't know if she can call the city home either.

but finally, she feels like it's more than just hers.

—

and after all this happens, niki knows exactly what she has to do next. it takes a while to find him, but she manages it.

this time, she has to take an entire picnic basket with her - and it's a damn far way to lug the thing, especially when she hasn't quite gotten the hang of using a trident with finesse and speed. a veritable stack's worth of radiation treatment potions weigh her down, along with a marbled coffee-and-cinnamon cake wrapped in wax paper.

jack does not look pleased to see her. he looks like hell, to be honest – dark circles beneath his eyes, too-thin, skin pale and sallow like he hasn’t been outdoors enough in too long. but he doesn’t turn her away, either. and in a world like this, that means just as much.

he lets her in, and this time, niki does not intend to leave without him.

[writing-oof]

I’m a Farmer, Not a Babysitter (oops)

Day Two: Potato Farmer Technoblade! He’s certainly a dude!

I ended up with two stories I couldn’t pick from in the thirty minutes, so here they are!

Farmer Techno (tw: Wilbur is dead)

"This is about Wilbur?" Technoblade asks.

"Yes," the social worker says, "We've tried to get in contact with your father, but we couldn't reach him."

"What's wrong?"

"We do our best to keep families together, Mr. Craft," the woman says, "We wanted to see if Philza has any interest in taking custody of Fundy, as his mother has denied it."

"Who?" Techno asks, and the phone is silent for a beat too long.

"Wilbur Soot's son?"

Techno bluescreens/

"Wilbur doesn't have a son," he says, but really he wouldn't know. Wilbur wasn't exactly showing up to the family reunions. Neither was Techno, for that matter.

"He did," the woman says, and that's that.

---

The farm isn't really suited for a kid.

There's dangerous experiment around every corner, and the chickens have already tried to peck Fundy to death, sniffing the fox under his skin. Fundy, still the weirdest kid Techno's ever met, decided he loved them almost immediately after that, and he hasn't stopped trying to break into the coop since.

Technoblade's lucky that Ranboo was looking to take more hours around the farm, milking the cows and mucking the stables and tending the crops more in that first week than he probably ever has in his life.

Fundy isn't old enough for him to leave unsupervised, especially since he's prone to turning into a fox and squirming through the hole under the baseboards in the kitchen like a snake.

Ranboo's a godsend those first few weeks, taking up the bulk of the labor around the farm and still making time to entertain Fundy for a few hours while Techno makes dinner and tries to figure out what the hell he's supposed to do now.

He's not a dad, and he never wanted to be one. There's a reason his only contact with kids was the schoolkids who came by to milk cows twice a month.

Fundy needs so much that Techno just doesn't know how to provide. He cries, sometimes, and Techno tries to comfort him as best as he can. He makes Fundy's room the safest space in the house and fills it with everything Fundy wants, from toys he saw on their four-channel-television, to photos of the parents he'll never see again.

It gets easier as the weeks draw on and Fundy talks to him more, tells him stories about his life with Wilbur before they lost everything. Techno listens, comforts when he needs to, and does his best to make his house a home.

But, as the month draws to a close, the summer slipping by in a blur of grief and fireworks, Techno's reminded that he's going to have to get back to the farm. Ranboo has school and, even if he didn't, Techno feels awful seeing how exhausted he is at the end of the day.

The farm's a big job, especially for a high schooler.

If Ranboo were any less worried about being alone with Fundy, he'd probably ask him to babysit instead.

As it is, Techno has to scour the area for anyone who would be willing to watch a hybrid kid on the outskirts of the city.

The first person he considers, a florist named Hannah, can't be away from the city for as long as he needs.

The next spends way too long comparing Fundy to the kind of foxes she shoots in the autumn for Techno to anything but throw her out of the house.

By the time he's met his fifteenth option, Technoblade has almost given up.

He asks Ranboo, just to see, if he knows anyone who'd be willing to watch a hybrid.

The next day, Technoblade has the most intense interview of his life.

…

Tommy hits it off with Fundy immediately.

In the thirty minutes he spends answering questions, Fundy's already declared him his uncle twice. It's an improvement, from the last sitter he tried to bite no less than four times.

…

Technoblade is pretty sure that Tommy isn't human.

He doesn't know how to bring it up, but his chickens have some sort of sixth sense for these things and they guard their eggs around Tommy like he's bound to snatch them up.

…

Tommy slots himself into their lives like he was always there.

Techno thinks that, if he were here, Wilbur would have called Tommy his little brother.

Instead, Technoblade calls him Theseus.

Instead, Technoblade sets up the third room for when Tommy doesn't want to bother heading back into the city.

Instead, Technoblade welcomes him home.

.

.

Fundy Thievery (tw: sad boi hours)

Two hours in and Fundy has to concede that it really *is* just a farm.

There's no secret room full of Wither skulls, or a chest full of weapons and totems.

There's a few hundred full of potatoes, though. Fundy grabs a few stacks to squirrel back to his den, the crow looking at him judgmentally.

Fundy flicks it off. It chortles, a mocking laugh, and settles into his hair.

When he reaches the treeline, the bird finally fucks off back to its nest, not following him home like he'd worried it might.

…

Fundy comes back the next day.

He doesn't want to. He wouldn't if he could avoid it, but he knows Techno has health pots somewhere and his arm still won't bend the way he needs it to.

He'd tried to shift only once, but he's pretty sure that only made it worse, a screaming pain from his elbow to his wrist.

So, stealing from his sort-of-uncle it is.

He's just lucky the dogs don't lunge for him, and that the crows seem content to keep their silence.

At least, no one's come tearing into his den with an axe, so he figures they haven't said anything, to Philza or to Techno.

[alliumdykes]

Do you have any dsmp headcanons about cooking? Like who do you think would be good at it, who do you think would be bad, who is only good at one type of food, etc

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD YES. Im doing alliumduo because uhh yeah

Okokok so I think cTommy is a hyena, and in turn he scavenges his food, most often she goes to her friends and eats days old leftovers. Sometimes even the foods that are left in the back. Moo also doesnt cook often as well, whilst he is a pretty decent cook due to the scavenger nature of Hyenas she just prefers to eat food rather made by other people or leftovers. Due to this moo quite often makes one large batch of food to eat over a while, so he can still calm her instincts and still have healthy foods.

One the opposite hand Ranboo cooks and bakes everything. Quite often they make foods and make them look like leftovers so Tommy can eat them. They usually make dishes for everyone they love and its some sort of a love language. They often hold large dinners so they can just make food for people. They have perfected so many recipes due to this and even have their own special dishes (e.g Potato and beef stew for Techno, Micheals own mushroom cake)

[slimeyliveshere]

Drawing PT. 2

You stood in front of your mirror staring at yourself in a long-sleeved (favorite color) sundress. It was about a month since you met Techno, Ranboo, and Karl during the football game. It was Thanksgiving break and you were going on your third date with Techno. He had asked you about a week ago and you were going to this nice dinner place. Let's just put it out there he didn't exactly tell you where you were going yet. He was coming to pick you up right now.

"(y/n)! Your date's here!" your mom called from downstairs. You quickly grabbed your set of high tops and slipped them on. You were pulling open your door and running down the stairs. Techno stood at the end of the stairs talking with your mom while she drilled him with questions since she had been on work trips both the other times.

"-I am majoring in teaching," he answered. "Social Studies. I've always liked greek myths," he was still answering your mom's questions well you stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "Yes, Mrs. (l/n) I can cook-" he cut himself off when he saw you standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Holy goddess..." he stood there staring at you.

"Ready to go?" you asked him, crossing your arms across your chest and smiling. He just nodded and stuck his arm out for you to take. You gladly took it and started to walk outside with him. The two of you got into the car. Techno leaned across the car and kissed your cheek before staring at the car leaving you slightly flustered. When the car got started it connected to your phone instead of Techno's. Probably because he connected it to the car on your first date.

"Your mom is nice," Techno joked when you got out on the road.

"Yeah, I know," you joked back.

"You look nice," he mentioned. You didn't respond probably because your face was nearly a tomato. You were out on the interstate before either of you talked. "How's college goin'," Techno asked glancing over at you and then back at the road. His pink hair had some flyaways and slight bags under his eyes but he still looked beautiful.

"Same old, same old. Dream got kicked off the football team though. Something about harassment. Uhm... Oh! Karl is in my design class with me this semester," you pondered what else to include. Sure, there is lots of stuff going on in your college right now. Karl was now the football team captain. Dream was expelled. There is a first-year transfer, Tubbo. The football coach and cheer coach, Bad and Puffy, was retiring soon. Hannah was transferring next semester to Badlands University. "

How's school going for you?" you shot his question back at him.

"Tubbo just transferred because of his dad. Ranboo just got his acceptance letter last week. My old man Phil offered me a student teaching job with him. So I might have to go to a middle school next year as a college senior. Snowchester Public I think is what he said. That's where Phil went for middle," he paused "I guess you could be the same old, same old," you just glared at him when he started snickering.

    The two overall just had a very wonderful night. Techno brought you to this nice sit-down restaurant. After that, he brought you to a park where you ate cupcakes made by his adoptive brother and his two friends. To think this was all from a simple [FOOTBALL GAME].

[stupidloafofbread]

Hai :3

I have recently been seeing you make posts on this thing called "what remains of edith finch" soooo what is it exactly? It seems interesting, and you seem like an expert on it too so, can you give me like...and essay? Lol, seems kwool :]

..

YOUR ASKING ME TO EXPLAIN MY FAVORITE THING?! YEAHHH-

Okay so! (As I write this, I'm watching ranboo play it for the 100th time-)

WRoEF is a story-type game!

I'll add a read more because this might be long - (as I have an obsession with it.)

Also possible TW: Death (both child death and death in general-)

You play as a 17 year old girl named Edith (I wanna change my name to Edith irl✨) who's returning to her childhood home after inheriting it from her late mother, Dawn Finch. Edith, who's trying to find out more about her family, ends up finding out that there's these "Secret passageways" in the house and the doors are sealed shut (forgot to mention that and I'm sorry-)

Anyways. She opens one of the secret passageways and goes through it and ends up in one of the sealed up rooms: Molly's room, who was technically the second Finch to die but the first person we sorta lean about?

In Molly's story, you play as her (Molly) on the night of her death. She was sent to be without dinner and when asking her mom:

"Mom, can I come out now?" (Molly)

"Sweetheart, it's late. Go to sleep." (her mom/Edith Sr)

So what happened? Well Molly goes around her room looking for something to eat and what does she eat?: toothpaste, Some fake hollyberries (idk if i spelled that right-) and a dried carrot next to some gerbil shit. (Literally-) Next thing we know, she finds a barn sallow outside her window! Now, I think this next part is a dream- she opens the window and goes to jump at the bird (keep in mind there's a lil chain to keep the window from opening enough for her to go through it) and suddenly, SHE'S A DAMN CAT.

Long story short for Molly, she then became a fuckin owl, a shark then a fuckin octopus or smth that has tentacles ;-; she then wakes up and writes the last thing we/Edith reads in her journal

"And we both know,"

"I.."

"Will.."

"Be...delicious."

Or smth like that

Anyway, I won't say all the deaths but pretty much, whole family ded

Now there's one death in the game that impacted me (and some other ppl) pretty hard:

Gregory's death.

For him, you play as a one year old baby in a tub. You have some toys, and which you control a wind-up toy frog. After a while, the mother (Kay) attempts to get Gregory outta the tub but gets interrupted by her ex-husband, Sam Finch. She talks with him and you continue to play as Gregory.

For the final time, Kay drains the bathtub right as Sam Calls again. Somehow, Gregory turns the damn tub thingy (forgot what it's called) back on and the tub fills up with water, drowning the baby

Now I suggest watching a playthrough of it :3

Me personally, would 100% recommend watching Ranboo play it (it's funny to me-)

I do have a whole lotta theories on what could've happened to some of them lol

:3

If I could've rambled more without spoiling anything else, would I?

YES

[bonesandthebees]

*Cracks knuckles* time to analyse. I have decided to just treat this as one big chapter so I don’t have to worry about where I am. Also, then I can just easily go back and forth and combine info because a lot of this goes over the chapter barrier. Anyway... How am I going to do this? Fuck it, I’m going by character this time. Is it efficient? Probably not, but I’m doing it anyway!

Let’s start ‘easy’. I’m going to clump Tubbo, Aimsay and Ranboo together. It’s mainly Tubbo, but ssshhhhhhh. Tubbo’s purpose in chapter 20 is to remind us how little the other Deathlings know. Tubbo wasn’t even aware Wilbur has his own chores now. He still thinks he’s a prisoner despite having seen Wilbur walk around on his own.

In his defence, there has been no official announcement that he’s no longer a prisoner and Wilbur very much can’t leave even if he would want to. (also, how would that announcement go? “We have officially Stocholmed the Pythia.” That would go over really well after the last interaction most of them had with him was debating where or not to kill him.)

[Tubbo snorted. “Shouldn’t have snuck out then.”

At this, Tommy frowned. “Forgot Phil told you all about that.”] Well, you see, SOME people communicate, Tommy. SOME people don’t hoard information like it’s the last cookie at the Christmas dinner. (Also, they are allowed to go out to Quackity’s right? So then technically there would be no way to know if they go there or out out. Or do the Deathlings sometimes change places with Chalrie too? Where are they getting bribed?)

(while I’m getting sidetracked, explains Niki’s comment about Tommy and rules even more. I bet Both of them were pissed they learned Tommy broke his punishment to sneak out. I don’t want to know how pissed they would be if they knew the full story. It’s a good thing Phil and Techno are smart enough not to tell anyone.)

(1/?)

-🌲

hello spruce finally gonna start going through these lets goooo. treating it as one big chapter is probably gonna be the most efficient yes

yeah exactly I know some people were wondering why phil and techno hadn't told the other deathlings about that but like. how would they do it. it would literally be them like "uh btw the pythia is staying here willingly now don't question it" while the other deathlings are just there like ???. unfortunately it's something wilbur needs to tell them on his own like he does with tubbo

tommy is definitely allowed to go to quackity's bar. no need to bribe others to get up there. it's a safe space where deathlings can go hang out without the others around to ensure people aren't going stir crazy down in the temple.

niki and jack were insanely pissed when they found out tommy snuck out but also were like "yeah figures he'd pull something like that" because that's already a risk in itself and also it undermined the punishment tommy got for literally trying to kill jack. like, it was a dick move especially to niki and jack so they were Not Happy. it would only be 10x worse if they all learned the full context

[jacenbren]

What if the main wwv cast were to find a feral/stray animal? Like a cat or something?

Situation: the Wormwoodverse main cast and their individual reactions to being approached by a feral cat. Results: ………….mixed

Tommy: Starts marching around, holding up the cat and proudly announcing that he “has a new friend” who is “a cooler, funnier, awesome-er version of Tubbo” called “Pussbo.” Is completely oblivious to the fact that this cat is furiously biting and scratching and trying to escape.

Ranboo: Has a staring contest with the cat. He then proceeds to trauma dump on the poor thing because animals can’t talk and this overrides the crippling anxiety Ranboo has with taking about his feelings. The poor cat is mentally scarred.

Tubbo: ECSTATIC to have a new fuzzy lil friend. Goes around showing the cat to everyone like Tommy, only the cat actually likes him and isn’t trying to reduce his fingers to hamburger helper.

Quackity: Claims he doesn’t care about the cat. Vehemently proclaims that he doesn’t and never will want a cat. Is later caught snuggling with said cat while drinking a beer and listening to the radio.

Eret: Treats the cat exactly like a human child (“yes Quackity dear this means we have another child please set another spot at the dinner table-“)

Ant: Spends a good fifteen minutes alone in a room with the cat, just staring the each other dead in the eyes and growling. Then proceeds to bond with said cat so well that Velvet gets extremely jealous, and sitcom-like shenanigans ensue.

Velvet: Falls in love immediately, and runs over and grabs the cat while making obnoxious kissy noises. Ends up absolutely spoiling the cat, claiming that it’s “his firstborn son” and that “Ant I can’t believe I cook and clean and slave away in my garage all damn day Ant the least you can do is help me raise our child-”

Bad: UNATTENDED CHILD SPOTTED. NEW OBJECTIVE—ADOPTION

Gumi: literally just starts crying out of joy

[reallytryin]

DATING SIR THOMAS SIMONS HCS YES PLS

Ive been feeling like shit because I just got my results back from an Irish test and a maths test and I got really bad points any ways here you go loosers 😝

The start of the relationship

I think it would be really cute at the start especially if you guys had been friends for a while before hand.

He would be constantly talking to you about random stuff then look over to get you're validation.

Or sometimes he would look over and just stare and you would ask him whats wrong and he would say " I forgot we are dating " it would bring such a smile to his face when he rembers that he has a s/o

After a few weeks he asks you to meet his friends. He would start with will then ranboo then jack then Toby ( cos he's further )

If they don't like you it could go one of two ways 1. He breaks up with you straight away or number 2. He trys to talk some sense into them and date you anyhow.

Meeting the perants 😭. As we know tommys perants seem really nice but you never know.

I think mother innit would make dinner and you would get all dressed up and tom would be all like " y/n we are going to see my perants not the queen " (rip)

When you get there mother innit looks at you and immediately likes you. Like seriously you're like her daughter/son/child she wishes she had

And father innit is also the same not as much as mother innit tho

Movie nights are a must with the innit House hold so you know you're getting into alot of movie marathons ( aka crying to the notebook with mother innit

Any ways thanks for 26 followers lmao

- love August

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

It's late and I have a headache? I think? So sadly can't draw our little kitty boys wpubsgwohs ):

Also imagine Ranboo the bobcat still being flexible:

Now I will fall asleep thinking about my dear conflictduo warrior cats cuddling ibwsisnozjzpznlswnpasosspjzzjz hhahahahahahhhhhhahh

Imagine WC!Dream catching Mouse!Dream- anyway buh-bye

No you don't understand Dream is so very proud of his Toll Large Son who everyone pretends is a normal cat. He'd see this walking out of his den and go "Ah yes, my son, my apprentice, he is so flexible, a great and powerful warrior." And Sapnap is in the corner wondering what his life even is anymore.

It's very important for you to know that Wilbur gives a disgruntled mrp when he wakes up and Dream isn't cuddling in his arms. He will search the entire damn camp, and when Punz spots him from where they're trying to get Dream to stop putting himself on patrol, they look so relieved. It takes the combined coaxing of Punz and Wilbur's soothing words for Dream to slip back into their den, huddled together and warm. He buries his face into Wilburs fur and entwines their tails, falling asleep to Wilburs purring. They only get up for dinner.

Djkdjdjdj Mouse Dream is a disgruntled little lad who would like to stop getting into these situations. He is going to attempt to stab this cat with a needle and only fail because he is abruptly let go. He has a colony to get back to, dammit, whos going to protect everyone if he's busy being eaten?

[sunstar121]

Imagine dream knowing how to speak Enderman so him and Ranboo sometimes just argue about family problems in front of the server

ranboo: ⊑⍜⍙ ☊⍜⎍⌰⎅ ⊬⍜⎍? ⊑⍜⍙ ☊⍜⎍⌰⎅ ⊬⍜⎍?

dream: ⌰⍜⍜☍, ⟟ ⌇⏃⟟⎅ ⟟ ⍙⏃⌇ ⌇⍜⍀⍀⊬, ⍜☍⏃⊬? ⍙⟒ ⎅⍜⋏⏁ ⋏⟒⟒⎅ ⏁⍜ ⎅⟟⌇☊⎍⌇⌇ ⏁⊑⟟⌇ ⟟⋏⎎⍀⍜⋏⏁ ⍜⎎ ⏁⊑⟒ ⟒⋏⏁⟟⍀⟒ ⌇⟒⍀⎐⟒⍀

ranboo: ⌇⍜⍀⍀⊬ ⍙⍜⋏⏁ ☊⎍⏁ ⟟⏁! ⟟⋔ ⏃⏚⍜⎍⏁ ⏁⍜ ⌇⏁⏃⍀⏁ ⌇⍙⟟⋏☌⟟⋏☌!

dream: ⌿⍀⟟⋔⟒, ⌇⏁⍜⌿ ⏚⟒⟟⋏☌ ⌇⍜ ⌿⟒⏁⏁⊬!

ranboo, through tears: ⏁⏃☍⟒ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ⏚⏃☊☍, ⏁⏃☍⟒ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ⏚⏃☊☍. ⊬⍜⎍ ☍⋏⍜⍙ ⊑⍜⍙ ⟟⋔⌿⍜⍀⏁⏃⋏⏁ ⋔⊬ ⋔&⋔⌇ ⏃⍀⟒ ⏁⍜ ⋔⟒

dream, sighing: ⎎⟟⋏⟒. ⟟'⋔ ⌇⍜⍀⍀⊬ ⟟ ⏃⏁⟒ ⊬⍜⎍⍀ ⋔&⋔⌇, ⟟⌰⌰ ⏚⎍⊬ ⊬⍜⎍ ⏃ ⋏⟒⍙ ⏚⏃☌.

ranboo: ⏁⊑⏃⋏☍ ⊬⍜⎍. ⋏⍜⍙ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ⏁⊑⏃⏁'⌇ ☊⌰⟒⏃⍀⟒⎅ ⎍⌿, ⍙⟒ ☊⏃⋏ ☌⍜ ⏚⏃☊☍ ⏁⍜ ⏚⟒⟟⋏☌ ☊⟟⎐⟟⌰

everyone else on the server, watching this go down: hey what the fuck-