#uncle technoblade

[writing-oof]

I’m a Farmer, Not a Babysitter (oops)

Day Two: Potato Farmer Technoblade! He’s certainly a dude!

I ended up with two stories I couldn’t pick from in the thirty minutes, so here they are!

Farmer Techno (tw: Wilbur is dead)

"This is about Wilbur?" Technoblade asks.

"Yes," the social worker says, "We've tried to get in contact with your father, but we couldn't reach him."

"What's wrong?"

"We do our best to keep families together, Mr. Craft," the woman says, "We wanted to see if Philza has any interest in taking custody of Fundy, as his mother has denied it."

"Who?" Techno asks, and the phone is silent for a beat too long.

"Wilbur Soot's son?"

Techno bluescreens/

"Wilbur doesn't have a son," he says, but really he wouldn't know. Wilbur wasn't exactly showing up to the family reunions. Neither was Techno, for that matter.

"He did," the woman says, and that's that.

---

The farm isn't really suited for a kid.

There's dangerous experiment around every corner, and the chickens have already tried to peck Fundy to death, sniffing the fox under his skin. Fundy, still the weirdest kid Techno's ever met, decided he loved them almost immediately after that, and he hasn't stopped trying to break into the coop since.

Technoblade's lucky that Ranboo was looking to take more hours around the farm, milking the cows and mucking the stables and tending the crops more in that first week than he probably ever has in his life.

Fundy isn't old enough for him to leave unsupervised, especially since he's prone to turning into a fox and squirming through the hole under the baseboards in the kitchen like a snake.

Ranboo's a godsend those first few weeks, taking up the bulk of the labor around the farm and still making time to entertain Fundy for a few hours while Techno makes dinner and tries to figure out what the hell he's supposed to do now.

He's not a dad, and he never wanted to be one. There's a reason his only contact with kids was the schoolkids who came by to milk cows twice a month.

Fundy needs so much that Techno just doesn't know how to provide. He cries, sometimes, and Techno tries to comfort him as best as he can. He makes Fundy's room the safest space in the house and fills it with everything Fundy wants, from toys he saw on their four-channel-television, to photos of the parents he'll never see again.

It gets easier as the weeks draw on and Fundy talks to him more, tells him stories about his life with Wilbur before they lost everything. Techno listens, comforts when he needs to, and does his best to make his house a home.

But, as the month draws to a close, the summer slipping by in a blur of grief and fireworks, Techno's reminded that he's going to have to get back to the farm. Ranboo has school and, even if he didn't, Techno feels awful seeing how exhausted he is at the end of the day.

The farm's a big job, especially for a high schooler.

If Ranboo were any less worried about being alone with Fundy, he'd probably ask him to babysit instead.

As it is, Techno has to scour the area for anyone who would be willing to watch a hybrid kid on the outskirts of the city.

The first person he considers, a florist named Hannah, can't be away from the city for as long as he needs.

The next spends way too long comparing Fundy to the kind of foxes she shoots in the autumn for Techno to anything but throw her out of the house.

By the time he's met his fifteenth option, Technoblade has almost given up.

He asks Ranboo, just to see, if he knows anyone who'd be willing to watch a hybrid.

The next day, Technoblade has the most intense interview of his life.

…

Tommy hits it off with Fundy immediately.

In the thirty minutes he spends answering questions, Fundy's already declared him his uncle twice. It's an improvement, from the last sitter he tried to bite no less than four times.

…

Technoblade is pretty sure that Tommy isn't human.

He doesn't know how to bring it up, but his chickens have some sort of sixth sense for these things and they guard their eggs around Tommy like he's bound to snatch them up.

…

Tommy slots himself into their lives like he was always there.

Techno thinks that, if he were here, Wilbur would have called Tommy his little brother.

Instead, Technoblade calls him Theseus.

Instead, Technoblade sets up the third room for when Tommy doesn't want to bother heading back into the city.

Instead, Technoblade welcomes him home.

.

.

Fundy Thievery (tw: sad boi hours)

Two hours in and Fundy has to concede that it really *is* just a farm.

There's no secret room full of Wither skulls, or a chest full of weapons and totems.

There's a few hundred full of potatoes, though. Fundy grabs a few stacks to squirrel back to his den, the crow looking at him judgmentally.

Fundy flicks it off. It chortles, a mocking laugh, and settles into his hair.

When he reaches the treeline, the bird finally fucks off back to its nest, not following him home like he'd worried it might.

…

Fundy comes back the next day.

He doesn't want to. He wouldn't if he could avoid it, but he knows Techno has health pots somewhere and his arm still won't bend the way he needs it to.

He'd tried to shift only once, but he's pretty sure that only made it worse, a screaming pain from his elbow to his wrist.

So, stealing from his sort-of-uncle it is.

He's just lucky the dogs don't lunge for him, and that the crows seem content to keep their silence.

At least, no one's come tearing into his den with an axe, so he figures they haven't said anything, to Philza or to Techno.

[rakkuntoast]

sbi dlc again but uhh yeah idk

[accountformytechnobladeart]

I don't know if this counts as a request but I always get so happy when I see your art of Techno and Michael together. So maybe something with those two? Hope you have a nice day :D

this one is inspired by my most recent interaction with a toddler

[fatherrats]

They share a sock because Tommy fought Techno for them and they had to compromise

[dork-master]

I'm so glad Google understands me

[cassofcraft]

Michael and his out of touch ass uncle

[hitracks]

Can we see a c! Wilbur design maybe? (If you're chill w/ it) Or Technoblade and Philza?

I’m planning on doing a whole separate ref for Wil at some point so I will do both Blade and Philza for you… im really really normal about Techno like really serious I promise you. ( <- lying through his fucking teeth. ) LOTTTTS OF DESIGN PARTICULARS WITH HIM. I deviate a lot from his skin ( for one I get way too engrossed with drawing animals so humanoid it is. ) but I make his outfit more errr. Flashy…? Also southern inspo all over this bitch. as a southern man myself I am forced to give him ( modest ) matador esque pants and a bolo …. I think putting him in that is hilarious cause the closest things piglins have to bulls are fucking hoglins LMFAO. Imagine him in a Nether rodeo … terrifying … Away from design in general I love his character sooo much. I think its important to keep his funny nerd qualities when designing him. Like techno is a beast with technical skills and combat but if you ask him to sit in a room with more than about 3 people he starts sweating. Make him a little loser guys … hes got like one friend total and lives in the middle of nowhere in the snow as a Nether mob. Nothing normal about him. No bitches and no gains …

PHIL …. ghh … I have an unpopular take on him because i dont find him very fatherly. Hes more like an estranged uncle who dgaf about his kids. Shanks from one piece if you will. As much as I like his dynamics, for his character I feel like people are constantly glossing over the fact he isolates himself on purpose away from everything and everyone so he doesn’t have to deal with it … Him and Techno are so close because 1) They’re both crazy fucking good at everything and 2) Neither of them WANT to interact with others outside of themselves usually. Techno most often times only talks to people for his own personal gain or when he has no choice … Philza just get dragged into everything cause Wilbur is like a damn blight on the world. IDK! I wish people made him more aloof or terrifying because the concept of him is so genuinely freaky like hes got spies everywhere all the time and could or could not be immortal or some sort of biblical creature like THATS SCARY!!! I tried to mess around with him being green and the Minecraft equivalent of souls ( exp drop when you die ) being the same shade-ish …. Hes just some eldritch horror to me. Not explainable by mere words…

[ramons-elevator]

Signs that shattered my soul:

Ramon - “I don’t wanna die yet, not until i make something useful”

Leo - “Cuando yo me vaya, tio Roier te va a cuidar muy bien” (Trans: When I leave, Tio Roier will take good care of you)

Tallulah - "You were the person i ever asked for and more" “How can I be so loved yet so alone”

Bobby - “If you see that green guy, tell him not to feel guilty anymore" "And you will always keep me in your heart for eternity?" "Because he took something from me... Forever"

Juanaflippa - "Tilin where are you I need you. Without you my life is bad" “I hate you now but I love you too dad”

Chayanne - “did i fail?” "I just want to be as strong as Technoblade"

Tilin - “Uncle Slime don't be sad, I love you"

Trumpet - "Papá, me puedes cantar una ultima vez antes de irte?" (Trans: Dad, can you sing me one last time before you go?)

Richas - "Eu tentei lutar mas ele não parou de gritar pra eu correr" (trans: I tried fighting, but he couldn't stop screaming run)

If any more of these fucking eggs feel sad or scared, imma riot

[retirement-home-rumble]

Retirement Home Rumble: Finals

MCYT fight I guess

DISCLAIMERS (PLEASE READ):

*TFC was a beloved youtuber who sadly passed away last year. He was submitted and then included in this tournament as a way to honor his memory. **This poll is referring specifically to the characters played by these streamers. However, Technoblade, the youtuber, tragically passed away last year. I do not want to see anyone being toxic or disrespectful to their memories. Feel free to spread propaganda and vote for who you want, but anyone crossing a line will be blocked

Why they would crush the other geezers under the cut:

WARNING: There may be spoilers

Iroh and TFC Propaganda:

Phil and Techno Propaganda:

[lennjamin-o7]

Forced Into The Arms That Loved You

The Jedi Temple fell when a Sith Lord took over the Republic and declared the Galactic Empire. With the help of a talented young apprentice named Darth Corvid, it took no time at all for the Emperor to claim complete control over the galaxy. Too bad he underestimated his apprentice. Darth Corvid killed the Emperor and took control of the Empire for himself. Emperor Corvid ruled with an iron fist and multiple planets are already plotting for a Rebellion. Technoblade is four years old lives on a farm with his Aunt and Uncle on the planet of Naboo. When some of the Empire's Crows come knocking, things begin to change. For the better? Or for the worst? or; Dark SBI Star Wars AU where Technoblade is the hidden son of Darth Corvid. Funny enough, the Emperor wants his son back.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Was reading a Webcomic. Brain made it Techno-centric. I thought I'd share.

Those who serve the God of Light, Exdee, are the chosen. The blessed. The good.

Those who serve the Goddess of Night, Kristin, are devils. Evil. Cruel and uncouthe.

At least, that is what Technoblade was taught.

The nobility is split. Some worship Exdee (as they should) and some serve Kristin (evil). Always at each other's throats, trying to get the other hand to eradicate the other.

Technoblade may only be seven years old but he knew he was a child of night. His aunt and his uncle never let him forget his evil origins. How his mother had staggered onto the County, half mad with delerium, with him swaddled in her arms. How his mother, the Saint of the Church, died because of Technoblade's darkness. How he was a child of a devil and deserved to be destroyed. But because the Count loved his sister, The Saint, he was allowed to live in their home.

Just live. Certainly not comfortable.

Technoblade is isolated his whole life, locked in a singular dingy room with very few people to talk to. Stale bread is usually his only meal. Ragged clothing hanging from his limbs.

He is sad and lonely and the only person he could blame was himself. He was a demon child. A monster. This was better than he deserved.

Sometimes, the voices in his head tried to argue with him about that. They tried to convince him he wasn't worthless.

He ignored them.

One day, his Aunt and his Uncle appear and say they are moving his room. He is put in a lavish bedroom and Technoblade is in awe. The voices in his ears shout warnings. But Technoblade desperately tries to block them out.

The voices change tactics.

They start to predict the things that are happening. They call it when the made spills hot soup on Technoblade's lap "by mistake". They tell Technoblade word for word what his Uncle shouts at him when he stutters over his words. They shout a warning when a plant nearly falls off a shelf and shatters on him.

He is confused. Why are the voices sometimes right and sometimes so very wrong?

One day, his Uncle declares that Technoblade should be washed and that he would attend a party. Technoblade does not like this idea. He likes the quiet.

The voices in his head REALLY don't like this idea. They are louder than they have ever been.

Technoblade struggles against the servants that try to get him clean, his head filled with shouts and warnings. Of a plot. Of poison. Of the start of a war.

Technoblade tries to say no, he won't go. But his Uncle threatens him with a sword, threatening to run him through.

The voices say run.

So he runs.

Technoblade somehow escapes the guards through a small hole in the estate's wall. He runs through the back alleys. He runs past the shops. He runs into a major street.

A large black horse rears in surprise as Technoblade trips and falls in front of it.

Technoblade looks up to see a man with blond hair looming over him, still on the horse. Blue eyes brighter than the sky and subtle slitted pupils.

The man sniffs a moment, before he gets off the horse. He leans down to Technoblade, curious. Technoblade freezes, shocked by both the man and the cheers of voices in his head.

Duke Philza notes that Techno smells like him. Technoblade just stares at him confused. Carefully, Duke Philza picks Technoblade up. Part of Technoblade wants to struggle and run, something deeper wants to cling tightly and never let go.

Technoblade is confused when the latter wins out.

Duke Philza speaks calmly to Techno as he gets back on his horse. Instead of continuing the victory parade in his honor, he turns and leaves to return to his estate.

Those who serve Lady Kristin are not ALL demons, but many of them are. A demon is born from her essence, gifted to the world of mortals to those she is pleased with.

She had always been pleased with Philza. However, someone had stolen his gift before he even knew it existed.

Techno is taken to the Dukedom and is confused by everything. Duke Philza is kind and explains everything gently. When Technoblade explains what happened to him, Philza's expression is still kind, but even Technoblade can see the rage and wrath barely contained.

Not at Technoblade, thank Kristin.

Technoblade opens up about Chat, how they told him the Count was going to use Techno to start a war. To have Techno unknowlingly poison a royal. To pin the blame on the Demon faction.

Philza just holds him tight and tells Techno that he will handle it.

And he DOES handle it. Maybe a little bit too well.

The balance of power shifts. Exdee's followers scramble to undo the damage.

They are snuffed out.

Technoblade doesn't get involved with that. He is too busy being spoiled. And Philza might wash the blood from his fingertips, but Techno knows its there.

He doesn't care. Demons are supposed to be evil? That's fine. If Philza was evil, then Technoblade would embrace it and hold it close.

Just as tightly as Phil's hugs.

Anyway, have a good one! 💚💚💚💚

Aaaaa, tasty, tasty, I hope Techno's 'family' gets their comeuppance hehehehe

[4thebedrockbros]

My favourite dynamics for SBI is like

Philza and Technoblade are besties/almost brothers

Kristen and Philza are married obv

Technoblade and Kristen were friend way longer than they knew Phil

Wilson is Phil's and Kristen 's kid but also Tommy's brother figure

Technoblade is a mentor/father figure to Tommy and is a uncle to Wilson

( bonus points Techno take in Tommy when the boy is like 15/16 but acts like he's a toddler and tries to set up "play dates" for him and Wil)

Philza is kind of an uncle and also a dad to Tommy

Tommy is like everyone's kid that has a huge preference for Techno because he's literally The Blade™ so he immediately latch onto him

[loofa-drawzz]

Revisiting my old Dream SMP art

I was watching someone go through their old Dream SMP art and that made me wanna visit my old art too.

CW: Dream

Credits to my instagram @/loofa.draws

So to start, I really REALLY liked Technoblade and his videos. It all started with this drawing and you could say this was the gateway drawing to being a DSMP fanartist

Ok so this was before I really cared about all the Dream controversies back in the day but to be honest, I cooked with this one AHAHAHAHHA I didnt have a lot of markers back in the day so my color palletes were VERY limited and I remember being so happy I could make his hair brown.

I did a lot of comics too and this was done after that Tales from the SMP episode with Billiam and the Egg.

Oh OH I made like a small series called Michael and Uncle Techno and I loved the idea that Techno would babysit Michael for Ranboo and Tubbo and this was all before they canonically met.

Chat Im gonna be honest. This comic was the one that made me realize I like drawing furries. LET ME EXPLAIN- ok so I made like Techno headcanons because I wanted to draw Techno as a Piglin but I didnt want to retcon my human design so I just made him both??? So the goggles makes him human but retain the Piglin side as a mask. I still think I cooked with this Headcanon because I could just switch between human and Piglin design and I had like an in-universe explanation for it.

Anyways drawing the piglin design made me realize drawing anthro characters are just fun?? Like I dont really identify as a furry but I really enjoy drawing anthro characters now.

Fun fact: I made this post as an excuse to talk about Dream SMP, my old headcanons and old fanart

[lildevyl]

If you're like me and get a heavy dose of Writer's Block, and decide to rewatch your favorite QSMP Arc.

Don't imagine the Ender King was using Phil as a vessel this whole time.

Don't imagine the Federation found out about Phil being the Angel of Death and was literally testing him to see how strong he truly is.

Don't imagine that during the Election Party when Philza lost connection, that was the Code Monsters tried to take over him to be the Angel of Death.

Don't imagine that the Code Monsters succeeded and when Philza "Came Back" all he saw was Chayanne calling for his Dad and telling him to get Tallulah b/c the Code Monsters are after her.

Don't imagine Philza seeing Tallulah calling for her Papa scared outta her mind b/c of the Code Monsters and Ghosts are trying to kill her and Chayanne.

Don't imagine Philza turning on the others and fighting Etoiles, Bad, and Fit, thinking they're attacking his kids. And it's Fit that tells Philza that his kids are at home safe and shows him the picture to prove it.

Don't imagine that he it takes Philza a while to break the "Mind Control" and go after the Code Monsters.

Don't imagine the Ender King had been inside Philza this whole time and was watching/observing everything and taking notes.

Don't imagine the Ender King was trying to take over Philza b/c when Philza defeated the Ender King, Philza now is the new Ender King but the old one couldn't let go so they had to Possess Philza to become even stronger. The true Master of Death. The Angel of Death.

Don't imagine Chayanne doing an internal monolog when he goes to sneak out to fight his Dad and prays to his Uncle Technoblade to guide him to bring his Dad back.

Don't imagine Chayanne having nightmares of the fight and waking up from said nightmares, only to have to look extremely closely to make sure that it is indeed his Dad and not Him.

[mon-moonfae]

First art request I think,,, some Twinsduo being silly?

Quality time with uncle Technoblade.

Wilbur was a lanky teen.

[genevawrenn]

The Whispers of a Reckoning Have Kept the Spirits Beckoning

The smallest brush of warmth caresses his face, reminding him he isn’t alone. Even if they have to go through this a hundred times, as long as the dragon kept getting back up just like Uncle Technoblade encouraged, he’d keep fighting. Until he won his Dad back from the clutches of the Ender King, he couldn’t give up.

For his sister’s sake. For Techno’s sake. For his own.

~~~

Chayanne receiving encouragement from Uncle Technoblade in his battle against the Ender King when he possessed Philza.