#yet i don't miss the people themselves who have been into my life. well. some of them perhaps

[vivelegalite]

dear dead boy detective (especially paynland) enjoyers: have you yet heard of the biggest gift bestowed upon the fandom so far, aka jayden's charles playlist? the one he mentioned in interviews? well, he dropped it on twitter at 19th of may. and man, do i have stuff to say about it.

there's a lot of 80's bangers, for sure, great to get into the mood and character, but some of the choices...

i'm gonna focus on a few of my favourites, songs that made me go insane when i saw them. honorable mentions: - category 1 (so devoted the lines blur): ain't no mountain high enough by marvin gaye and tammi terrell, there is a light that never goes out by the smiths, inkpot gods by the amazing devil - category 2 (family life): family line and summer child by conan gray, seventeen going under by sam fender, matilda by harry styles, father by the front bottoms - category 3 (being queer in the 80s): smalltown boy by bronski beat, boys don't cry by the cure - category 4 (there's no heterosexual explanation for this one): good luck, babe! by chappel roan, yellow by coldplay, fight or flight by conan gray (is this about monty? the cat king? i need answers!), the prophecy by taylor swift, arms tonite by mother mother, sweet by cigarettes after sex, head over heels by tears for fears

this list is by no means complete or comprehensive!

and now, the songs that made me go the craziest: (they're predominantly in charles' pov as it's his playlist)

found heaven by conan gray

the only reason this song made it into the list and not the honorable mentions instead of smalltown boy is that it makes almost the same point, just so much more explicitly. i don't think i have to say much about it, it's a story of a young person griping with their queerness, being forced to leave home, a common theme of the playlist. "you're in love, you found heaven" when he chose edwin over his own afterlife, heavily implied to be heaven, and built his heaven with him on the mortal plane? ouch! (and we see this same notion repeated in another bop from the playlist, heaven is a place on earth by belinda carlisle).

2. like real people do by hozier

"i miss kissing" charles rowland, 202X romantic meaning aside, the verses show a sort of a common understanding the boys have around the manner of their deaths and their lives before it. we already know from the show they don't really talk about it, with edwin not knowing about the severity of the abuse charles suffered. it feels like one of them saying "let the past be past, we're together now, yeah?". but also, jayden: can there ever be a platonic explanation for this? ghosts can't touch, can't feel, so they wish they could just kiss like "real" (alive?) people do?

3. flaws by bastille

not the most romantic song, but i absolutely love how well it fits their dynamic. despite his edwardian brand of repression, edwin truly is the one that's more open about his feelings (recognising of course that in this case, the bar is so low it's in hell. haha, get it). edwin has worn his flaws upon his sleeve, and charles has held them buried - eg. bottling up all of his anger and resentment towards his family and his own death. the song presents a very sweet outlook, in which their flaws are brought up to the surface (for example, charles' outburst against the night nurse in episode 4), but they learn to accept them as they are, an extension of themselves.

4. a pearl by mitski

you know it's gonna get intense if there's a mitski song in the mix.

the song is about a person who finds love in their partner, someone who treats them way better than they've ever been treated - and yet they cannot bring themselves to reciprocate the affection ("it's not that i don't want you, sorry i can't take your touch") despite reciprocating the feelings themselves because of the trauma. charles is known to bottle things up ("you're growing tired of me and all the things i don't talk about"). the person in the song recognises the love the other person holds for them ("you love me so hard and i still can't sleep"), which reminds me of charles' response to edwin's confession. not a "no", but a "maybe, as time passes".

5. fair by the amazing devil

this one made me genuinely gasp when i first delved into the lyrics. it's simply so sweet, such a genuine and domestic portrayal of love. at first i thought it was way too open about being a love song (normal text instead of the subtext i'd be used to) for jayden to choose it with edwin in mind, but... there's no one else it can really be about. it's far too domestic, too "established" to refer to crystal. refers to a relationship that's laster for a longer while.

the narrator in the first verse is a person deeply in love with the other person, someone who loves to make his lover laugh and simply drinks in their presence. the "he" in the song i believe is charles, while the "she" refers to edwin. edwin promises to fight off anyone - or any feelings pulling charles down (we can see this in the first episode: "you ever think... what if death did catch us? she'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" "i will make sure this never happens."). charles feels left behind by the world (seeing as he clings to crystal at first, refering to her as "someone their age who's still alive") and believes edwin to be so much stronger than he's ever been. i'm not going to break down the song verse by verse, but if you read it yourself while subbing out "he" for charles and "she" for edwin you'll see just how sweet (and... strangely very in character?) the song is.

6. work song by hozier

if the previous song made me gasp when i saw the lyrics, this one made me go "NO WAY" out loud when i saw the title. the first one verse is just pure toothrotting sweetness, but the chorus is what i want to draw attention to:

when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold, dark earth no grave can hold my body down i'll crawl home to her

HELLO? charles, who keeps escaping death and afterlife to be able to stay with edwin? charles, as he literally takes his last breath with edwin right there, choosing to be by his side rather than move on? charles, who keeps choosing him despite night nurse's promises and threats? charles, who literally crawled through hell for him?

verse 2, to me, can be interpreted as referring to when charles died. edwin found him at his worst, and he "woke" up with his presence comforting him. he was shivering due to hypothermia and his injuries. edwin didn't ask him about what happened or pushed him, he simply listened. the lines "i didn't care much how long i lived, but I swear, i thought i dreamed her" are pretty self explanatory.

in verse 3 we still see the same attitude of "damn the afterlife, at least we have each other" as charles portrays througout the series. they're free, and heaven and hell are simply words to him.

7. orpheus by vincent lima

i literally have no words for this one. it fits too well. if you want commentary for this one, just... i don't know, rewatch the staircase scene.

8. francesca by hozier

(cracks knuckles) this is the big one. the album francesca is from, unreal unearth, is based on dante alighieri's divine comedy, a fourteenth century poem about a man venturing into hell, purgatory and eventually heaven. the eponymous francesca is one francesca di rimini, a woman who was politically married off to a man older than her, called giovanni malatesta. francesca didn't love him, and eventually fell deep in love with giovanni's younger brother, paolo. the two carried on with the affair for years, before being murdered by giovanni upon his finding out. francesca and paolo are mentioned in canto v of the first book, inferno, as two souls damned in the second circle of hell, lust. their punishment is to be permanently locked in a hurricane, swept away by the winds the moment they manage to get close enough to touch one another.

as opposed to their portrayal in the poem, the song is from the perspective of paolo, explaining that no matter the punishment, he wouldn't change anything about his life because he got to know, and love, francesca.

the first verse brings to mind the scenes in hell, especially on the staircase ("do you think I'd give up? that this might've shook the love from me? or that I was on the brink? how could you think, darlin', i'd scare so easily?" as an echo of charles' "sorry. no version of this where i didn't come get you"). "my life was a storm since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?" could relate to charles' tumultuous family life, an assurance that nothing he has to deal with while by edwin's side will faze him given the things he's lived through. no, despite everything he's suffered through, charles wouldn't do anything differently - because his (admittedly shitty) life led him to edwin ("i'd tell them, put me back in"). we already know charles would choose him over heaven, willingly sacrificing his own afterlife to stay with a boy he's known for hours, someone kind enough to keep him company as he drew his final breath. all of it - his father's abuse, his schoolmates' bigotry, the pain of his own death, as well as everything he's gone through since - he'd do it all again, for edwin.

"for all that was said of where we'd end up at the end of it" could be taken as an allusion to the fate the boys would meet at "at the end of it", when they're finally caught by death and separated, or as more of a general "if you sin, you will go to hell when you die" (up to you to decide what the sin itself would be - an interpretation that would work with other songs on the playlist is that one such sin would be same sex attraction). then their hearts ceased, they never knew "peace", nor did they want to find it in death. their deaths were too soon, them being ripped away from life, but even though it would break his heart: charles would ask to do it all again.

the outro, i think, beautifully pulls it all together: heaven is not fit to house a love like theirs.

to wrap it all up:

jayden, what were you cooking in there? what do you know??

[anamericangirl]

What's telling to me about how sick people can be is that Trump was nearly killed, someone in the crowd WAS killed, multiple other shots went out, the whole thing was a terrifying event that everyone in the world should be able to agree was scary And yet I see the media on the left trying to spin this "Well this is to be expected, he's so radical and so fascist that of course someone tried to kill him" and "#YOUMISSED" is trending on Twitter Mask is fucking off and I'm done hitting Anon when I send asks to you, these people have truly shown they have no empathy, no sympathy, and are bloodthirsty. People get shot up in a school and their first thought is "This is why we need to ban guns" and "This is because of ultra-MAGA"

Some unhinged motherfucker actually attempts to kill the former president and kills someone in the crowd and the left turns it into a fucking hashtag and an opportunity to try to blame it on Trump even though he's the one that got shot at.

The left are fucking deranged, and I know better than most because I used to be ON the left. I shaved half my head, I had blue hair, I lived with liberal pedophiles (literally) in Ohio for 2 years who wore diapers around the house and bitched about Elon Musk and Trump every fucking day. I know these people are psychopaths and now they have finally just outright announced to the world how sick they are.

Even fucking Biden tried to call the hospital Trump was at to ask if he was okay, EVEN DARTH FUCKING BRANDON CARED ABOUT TRUMP and yet these Twitterlibs and liberal media fuckwads are just jumping on the opportunity to go "Aww man #YouMissed, you fired 5 shots how come you couldn't get him, you fucked up, omg"

For fuck sake hate the man all you want but SOMEONE TRIED TO KILL HIM AND AN INNOCENT PERSON'S BRAIN GOT REMOVED FROM THEIR HEAD, FOR FUCK SAKE HAVE AT LEAST A MODICUM OF SYMPATHY FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU FUCKING SAVAGES.

If this doesn't turn people away from the democrat party then nothing will. Trump was not the only victim of this shooting. A couple of people were injured, an innocent person was killed and still the only thing we hear from leftists is annoyance that the shooter missed.

And while we are rightly angry at the spins the msm is putting on this assassination attempt, they have to put that spin on it or eat their words for the last 8 years. They've been characterizing Trump as a fascist tyrannical dictator since 2016. They've spun him to be Hitler 2.0 telling everyone he's a threat to democracy and leading people to believe he's a threat to their very lives. The "trans genocide" and "kids in cages" the "don't say gay" bill all that nonsense is always, always linked back to Trump and if they turn around now and condemn this attempt on his life what would that say about them? Either they will have to expose themselves as the liars and propagandists they are or they will have to be seen as being sympathetic towards literally Hitler. And narrative is more important to them than anything.

Which explains why they were trying to avoid reporting what happened like the plague. The headlines I saw in the aftermath, after we already knew Trump had actually been hit by the bullet were things like "Trump escorted offstage after gun shots were heard." "Loud popping noise heard at Trump rally." And other variations of that headline. And still leftists don't question why after Trump was shot every single mainstream media outlet had the same headline and they all avoided saying Trump had been shot or an assassination attempt had been made.

They can’t come out and say this was wrong because it will mean they will have to admit to something even worse: that they were wrong.

But of course the people currently in office can't come out and condone the shooting. That would look very bad. So yeah, it's good that Biden stood up there and said the right words and made an effort to contact Trump but how convenient that this happened a mere couple of weeks after the democratic party has abandoned and turned on Biden so his words and condemnation will be buried and ignored and mean nothing.

For the last 8 years, though, Joe Biden and every other democrat in office, paired with the media, have been villainizing Trump for his rhetoric. Everything bad thing that happened was directly the fault of Trump because of his "dangerous rhetoric." But the rhetoric they've employed against Trump and all conservatives since that time has been the worst fearmongering and slander I've ever seen so they are directly to blame for this shooting because of their rhetoric. No more "rules for thee but not for me." They have to live in the world they made.

Leftism, as I'm sure you've seen first hand what with your experience of being one and living in that environment, is no longer about what you support, it's just about who you hate. And every sane person still aligned with them is waking up. The mask has been slipping for years and most of us were able to see who they really were way before it fully fell off but there is no mask now. They're not even trying to hide it.

They have the ideas they pretend to support when told to, but all leftists are only united by one thing: hate.

Their heroes are criminals like Michael Brown, George Floyd and Trayvon Martin. And they hate police until they shoot and kill Ashli Babbitt who's only crime was being a Trump supporter at the capitol on January 6.

They still bemoan the killing of a pedophile, wife beater and injury of a career criminal who were shot because they tried to murder a child while villainizing the child they tried to kill because he successfully defended himself against their attack.

To this day they spin their violent riots as "mostly peaceful protests" while the January 6 protest was a "violent insurrection."

The rapes and murder on October 7 were a justified response to "occupation" but anything Israel does is "genocide."

During covid they freaked out about "public health" and wanted everyone vaxxed and masked to "save lives" but when Trump got covid they all immediately wanted it to kill him.

When a white boy shoots up a school it’s an example of how evil white people and right wing gun nuts are but when a trans person shot children at a Christian elementary school the main focus of leftists, all the way up to the White House, was the danger the trans community would allegedly be in from right wing retaliatory violence and how “hateful Christian rhetoric” was responsible for the shooting.

And none of this has anything to do with the values they claim to adhere to. All of their positions on every single issue come down to who it is they hate the most of the people involved. So their "values” change by the second.

So the violence, depravity and dangerous rhetoric is pretty much 100% on their side but watch them try and spin this assassination on Trump as Trump's own fault. And watch leftists just unquestioningly go with it or just try to distract people with more fear mongering about Project 2025 or something else stupid like that.

The only thing that bothers them about this shooting, other than the fact that the shooter "missed', is that this has pretty much guaranteed Trump is going to win the election. And of course they can't stand that after all they've done to try and make sure that doesn't happen.

[remember-the-fanfics]

Heya! Saw you were in need of some hazbin requests- would you be okay writing something angsty? I liked your earthborn idea, so you can use that concept for the reader <3 maybe teen!reader is having a rly tough time mentally at the hotel? Panic attacks, loss of appetite, the whole lot of it. You can take this anywhere it goes, I won’t mind. And if you can’t/don’t want to write it no worries! (Also, on a serious note I am getting help currently. Please don’t worry about my mental well-being ❤️)

So abrupt ending, ran out of idea and then got a headache, hope you're doing well. <3

Cut because readers thoughts get real panicked

You weren't a sinner, you haven't even died yet.

Why were you here?

Was everyone right? Did you truly deserve this?

They can't be-, you are still mortal. Then why were you even in Hell?

Why Why why-

You couldn't tell anyone, not that you don't trust them! All of the people (are they even still people if they are dead? Demons?), are nice and you just don't want to worry them with the truth.

-

"Have any of you seen (Y/n)? They are always willing to help me with taste testing my food?" Niffty asked after finishing cooking for the hotel.

"Haven't actual seen them today. I think they are sleeping though the day. I would." Said Husk, cleaning a glass.

"They've been skittish the past few days when they aren't in their room." Alastor stated, "More jumpy that usual."

"(Y/n) haven't been like this since they first got here." Said Charlie with a remorseful look. "I hope I didn't push them to hard on redemption, I know they can be sensitive about certain things."

"Like how all of this could be for nothing?" Said Alastor with a chuckle. "They might realize that and miss their old life. Realizing that they can't actually get better than hell."

"I'm checking on them." Said Vaggie, getting up and heading towards (Y/n)'s room.

"Just don't be too pushy! And make sure they've eaten! And water!" Said Charlie after Vaggie.

-

Vaggie remembers the look on your face when you realized you were in Hell being the one who found you wondering aimlessly. Your transition to a sinner wasn't a pretty one, after accepting Charlie's offer at the hotel the two didn't see you for almost two weeks. Vaggie thought you left until Charlie convinced you to come out of your room.

You look lost when you opened the door. The two only realized that you were young, not a child but not completely an adult. Charlie didn't force you to talk about what you were thinking, just got you to eat something and drink water then take a shower with some borrowed clothes.

Vaggie had moved you to a closer room to the two of them. You didn't have anything to move out so you just followed the two. They kept an eye on you since, making sure you realized that this wasn't the end.

Vaggie grumbled on her breath, standing infront of your door. Knocking with no answer.

"Kid, I know you're in there. Just want to make sure you're okay."

"..."

"(Y/n) did one of these assholes do something? I'll kick their ass if they did." Vaggie continued. "... You haven't closed yourself off like this since you first got here."

Hearing a sniffle after bring that up, clued Vaggie in what might be wrong.

"Look, I'm not like Charlie and will break the door down instead of talking to you for 2 weeks waiting for you to open it."

" 'm fine Vaggie."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"..."

"Or drank any water? Or even took a shower?"

"Give me a second."

-

(Y/n) would have jump out of the window if it wasn't that far. They looked for any escape route from Vaggie and the conversation they would have. (Y/n) could hide in the closet but they spent their childhood in there, they dont want to go back.

With a quick push the trash under their bed and make themselves presentable, they open the door and Vaggie look unimpressed.

"Come on, Niffty made food. You're eating." Said Vaggie not giving (Y/n) a chance to say no by grabbing their hand and pulling them along.

"Okay..."

"Charlie gonna want to know what upset you." Said Vaggie, (Y/n) groaned in response.

"Can't we just say I'm fine? I don't want to talk about it."

"You're not fine. You've not closed yourself off in awhile."

"I needed some me time?"

"That shouldn't include ignoring your health."

-

Well it was the most awkward dinner, everyone was trying not to stare at (Y/n)'s disheveled shape while eating. (Y/n) ate almost half the plate before pushing it away.

"I'm full." They said.

"You haven't eaten in a week, you need to finish." Said Husk.

"That's all I can eat right now. If I try I'll probably vomit it back up which will put me back in square one." Said (Y/n), trying not to get annoyed with the others for caring.

"You still need to hydrate." Vaggie said putting down a glass of water infront of them, (Y/n) grimace at the glass as water didn't taste good to them.

"Fine just can you all go back to eatting your own food?" (Y/n) said, sipping on the water while everyone grumbled and went back to their own plates of food. Everyone became silent while eating when it just became to loud in (Y/n)'s head again.

-

You were fine, everything was fine. This water was... water. The food was fine.

Everything was just fine. Everyone was fine.

Why then didn't it feel fine?

Why couldn't you feel fine?

Because you were in hell-

Like all the people your family said would be there-

People like

You.

But you shouldn't be here. You never died, you don't even look like the people down here.

Down down down, why does you life always go that direction?

You really should breath.

-

The first one to notice was the only one who didn't take her eyes off of (Y/n), Charlie, seeing that (Y/n) just stops everything. Charlie went to them quickly, not touching them yet. Crouching down next to their chair, having everyone watching now. Vaggie gotten out of her own chair ready to help at any moment.

"(Y/n)? Are you-?"

(Y/n) took a quick inhale, barely putting down their glass in time for their body to exhale. Charlie realized that they were breathing too fast while (Y/n) realized they were panicking infront of people.

"(Y/n)?" Asked Charlie, startling (Y/n) out of their thoughts and almost out of their chair. They looked like a frighten animal at Charlie.

"...Fine, 'm fine, t'is fine, promise." (Y/n) said, trying to not worry Charlie.

"Just focus on your breath." Said Charlie. "Just close your eyes and focus, in for 5, hold for 5, and exhale for 5."

(Y/n) squeezed their eyes shut, trying to focus their ragged breathing to calm down.

Just focus

After a few minutes, (Y/n) keep their eyes closed not wanting to face everyone.

"Better?" Asked Vaggie.

"Hmm." (Y/n) mumbled in response.

"Want to take a shower, while I get Niffty to fix up your room?"

"Hm- yeah."

-

While (Y/n) being in the shower, Charlie and Vaggie went with Niffty to (Y/n)'s room. Which just was littered with all things; trash, clothes, and random things.

"I never seen their room this messy before, hope there aren't any bugs. If there are any, they wouldn't be for long." Said Niffty getting to work quickly.

Charlie helped by ridding the bed of covers, pillows, and sheets. Vaggie taking anything that seemed dirty to be washed and getting new bedding for the bed, while looking for clean clothes for (Y/n) to wear.

"What do you think bothering them so much?" Asked Charlie.

"Probably thinking that they'll be suck here forever." Said Niffty.

"...That's probably true but they believe in redemption that I'm working on, are they second guess it?"

"(Y/n) has a habit of pushing their problems away until they can't." Said Husk, standing at the door way with a drink. "I'll take the clothes to them if you want." He said to Vaggie before she handed him the clothes.

"But they know we are here for them. Why can't they trust us with helping them though this?"

"They are probably use to going though it by themselves, they don't usually talk about who they were before hell." Said Vaggie, putting a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "We'll be here to help them up again when they need it."

"I know, I just want the help them before it gets to this." Said Charlie before (Y/n) appeared in the doorway of their room.

"Oh wow, you all did a good job. It looks way better." Said (Y/n) nervously after hearing what Charlie said. "I apologize for what happened. Not use to people wanting to help me before it becomes their problem when it gets to big."

"Well we'll be here if you ever want to talk about it." Said Charlie.

"Thanks. I'll try if it happens again."

[kanmom51]

It's been over a week

And I'm still trying to digest and come to terms with it.

I know I said that I take comfort in them being together, and I got to say, that is a big big help in dealing with their departure, and yet, can't help but be sad and worry like a mom that just sent her kids off to the army.

Watching JM's live with JK's that followed (a few hours later and after their family dinner) was heart wrenching. JM struggling with his shaved hair was heartbreaking.

This clearly was not easy for them.

JM the next day (in the BTB).

I can't help but wonder, after the initial annoyance of getting a minute or a little more from the two's enlistment day, if the whole thing was just too emotional and more than what they themselves wanted to share publicly.

Again, seeing how JM is struggling, and JK knowing and comforting him. That look on JM's face when JK does that. Ugh, how I wish they didn't have to go through this. But they did. They are. And now it's time to come to terms with it.

I guess having lived it, done the army thing, gone through basic training and military service I have a little more insight as to what they will be going through, and that also gives me some comfort, because yes, it's going to be hard, both the physical and mental aspects of it. The structure, the loss of individuality, the harsh physical and mental training. But, a. they are 2 of the most driven people I have seen, a work ethic and a need to excel, and they will attack this (so to speak) no differently; b. they have been through so much getting to where they have gotten. Yes, the structure is a little different, but they are no strangers to being in a structured environment, told what to do, when to do it, how to do it. Basically, they are used to doing what they are told. Strenuous physical activity is no stranger to them as well. Experiencing struggles teaches you that you can prevail. Teaches you that you are strong enough to get through it. Teaches you that there is a light at the end of that tunnel. And knowing that, at times of hardship, can mean everything to the person going through that.

Their age, being mostly older than others enlisting (most do so at 18-21) has it's advantages and disadvantages. Advantages being having that insight and life experience that they have, especially starting their careers at such a young age. Disadvantage being that at this age they are all grown up, as in mostly know who they are, what they want to do with their life. Having to leave all of that at the door is not easy and takes adjusting to. But they are resilient. And their life experience and struggles they went through over the years will, as mentioned, definitley help them get through this as well.

For my sanity and mental well being I'm going to ignore the geo-political fuckery going on right now. Does willing things not to happen make them not happen? I'm going to go with yes on this. Don't you dare contradict me here. Let me live in my fantasy world at least on this one.

So yeah, it definitely won't be easy. Having each other's back there will definitley help, although having to keep their hands off each other in public will definitley be a challenge they will have to deal with. I digress. They will be ok. They have each other. They will get through this, and who knows, perhaps at some point (probably not basic training, cause that sucks) they might even enjoy their service (enjoy what they will be doing, feel satisfaction in their contribution to their country, who knows...).

And yet, knowing all of this, I'm still sad.

Because I already miss the shit out of them.

And it's kind of funny, because I know there is plenty of content coming up, including actual Jikook content, like just the two of them without the group as a buffer content, and that is definitely something to look forward to. And it's not like we were seeing them on a daily or even weekly basis before they enlisted (there were periods of time we were parched with them not to be seen or heard from for ages).

But this feels different. I guess knowing that even if they wanted to reach out, at the moment, they can't. Knowing that there isn't a chance of a JK restaurant visit popping up, or a surprise live makes it all so very real.

I'm not going to do the day counting. For me, that makes dealing with it harder. Maybe when we are down to two digits, definitely not before. I think I will just sit back, enjoy the new content they share with us, go through old content (there is so much out there, enough to definitely get me through the next 18 months, sob sob).

As for myself, well I'm not going anywhere.

Yes, I have something going on right now and am posting less often, but I'm still here, still around and will be posting and answering your messages.

We will all get through this together.

[devine-fem]

Hi! I saw that a little bit ago you said you might write an essay on jondami and if that's something you're still interested in doing I'd love to see your thoughts compiled in that way. No pressure though, I know it's a lot of work!

Okay, took me a bit but here it is: the long awaited essay on Damijon, get a snack and something nice to drink because this is going to be unapologetically long.

Misconceptions. Firstly, I don't know how else to explain that I personally don't exactly see Damian and Jon as children. I mean that they are older to me, and I feel this because with comic books when a character is a child that is their time for development and growing. With Robins they always have this inability to be allowed to grow up due to DC personally wanting Batman to always have a Robin in his arsenal. The thing with Damian and Jon is that they are made to reach a finish line. That finish line being Superman and Batman, which they cannot be before developing and growing into those mantles (if the writer is good and has common sense of course) first. We see that in DCeased, WW23 and other Damian books in the past that becoming Batman and Superman is an important topic for these characters, they have a long way to go. Admittedly, I do enjoy content as to where they are younger because that is where their dynamic peaked to me, I also think it's a very simple serotonin boost and if it's innocent then I really have no issue with indulging. But to me... that's not Damijon. Damijon is about friendship, Damijon is about always being able to seek and find in a certain person and I don't particularly care if this is platonic or romantic. It's important to remember that in canon, they are nothing but friends and I enjoy that all the same, but I also find it interesting to explore their dynamic if it was in a romantic context and that is what Damijon is all about to me. It's just "what would these two characters would do if they developed a different kind of affection towards the other." In my head, with as Damian is now, I doubt he'd be able to hold an intimate relationship without training wheels first and a very understanding partner. He's emotionally distant and he has this great fear of being abandoned which I think would suffocate the relationship. Children are confused and lost people who haven't found themselves yet and while Damian and Jon are both children... I don't exactly think there will be enough room for Jon's problems and Damian's problems as well. I also kind of struggle with wanted to rid them of their age gap, their age gap is just big enough to make it as if Damian has some authority over Jon. It makes it so eventually as Damian and Jon grew that Damian would be somewhat out of reach for Jon and perhaps, he could feel like he'd have to chase after Damian a bit when it comes to milestones and development. It makes them just a little bit more interesting and as I said, I don't exactly want to erase that.

A lot of people bring up the topic of maturity between these two but that would mean that Damian is more mature than Jon and you would know that this is not the case in the comics. The person who slings around insults is Damian, the person who acts brashly is Damian, the person or initiates fights is Damian. The immature one is Damian, he may act like he knows everything but he is a child, he’s incredibly immature and we should remember that.

Damian. It's particularly hard to describe both Jon and Damian separately for me at this point. To me they are something that should had never been separated. Something that comes as a set. Like one of them is missing the other when alone. The thing about Damian Wayne is that he spent his childhood years training to be a natural born winner. He never had a moment in Robin or Damian Al Ghul that let his life be truly his own. The thing about his relationship with both Talia and Bruce is that he feels as though he needs to earn affection and love, similar to how some children may feel this too after going through psychological abuse and neglect - this coming from both Bruce and Talia at times.

It should be noted that the comic that contains this panel is not a good representation of Talia and Damian's relationship but overall, this line is somewhat accurate and holds weight to their dynamic. Damian is someone who feels the need to earn his keep, it's instilled in his brain that basic things that others may get will not be given to him without him having to earn it first. Damian feels like he doesn't belong, like he's stuck between two worlds. He's burdened by constantly having a destiny, a path already carved into the ground for him. Jon. Jon is quite simple. His whole narrative revolves around similar themes as Damian to where Jon feels like he's not truly like his father but also not entirely like his mother. He wants to live up to being like his dad, but a lot of his own individualism gets lost in the process. He has this need to prove himself and make others proud. His upbring was simple and homey. Lois Lane and Clark thought that it'd be best to hide the fact that Clark is Superman and Jon is half kryptonian in order to provide him a mundane foundation as a person. There's not much to say about Jon alone because unfortunately his characterization was cut quite short. Let me talk about the age-up situation. Some people don't understand why this is such a bad thing for Jon's character, but I strongly believe that people of this opinion simply do not care about the character since this is character assassination in the most basic form. Jon's childhood was a very important part of his character as it is for literally all characters. That's where all his personality quirks and traits come in, that's where he can resonate with the audience the most, that's where his bonds with other characters are established. As Jon is now, he's being thrown into the finish line with no prior characterization. Jon's personality is going to be lost when writers pick him up, at times he even seems emotionless and purposeless. He is entirely unrecognizable to me. The only thing that has been established for him is his sexuality and his boyfriend and his solo revolved entirely around said boyfriend. The least they could do is make them good representation, but they aren't even that, sorry, it's jarringly obvious. And it's not just that its "getting in the way of my ship" because I don't want Jon and Damian to be canon, not really, not when this is how they treat a canonically queer character... look at what happened to Jon. I imagine that if they were to be canon then I'd find myself complaining about how DC can't do Jon and Damian's dynamic properly constantly. I don't have that much faith in them. It's disheartening that as a fan of him that I don't have as many good things of him that I do bad. The ship also suffers from this because it's literally about growing up beside someone and that childhood friends to lovers appeal.

Damian & Jon. A lot of time in Damian's stories because of his abrasiveness and offputting/distant personality, he finds it hard to make friends and sometimes it's not entirely the other person's fault. The thing about when he met Jon is that became a past time for him, he was someone who just wanted to be around - who actually went out of his way to be around him as well as they have a wholesome foundation for a friendship. Jon feels deeply for Damian as Damian feels deeply for him. Over and over again, Jon's life is threatened in some way which forces Damian to pull down his emotional walls and show that he does care for Jon.

It's established repeatably that Damian cares a lot for Jon because when he's in danger, he visually starts to panic. Even going as far as calling Jon by his first name which is rare for him because Damian calls everyone by their last name because he speaks very formally but when Jon gets hurt, Damian slips up to suddenly call him by his first name.

Damian was so shaken up that he accidentally calls Jon his friend afterwards, which is important to note because he has always refused to acknowledge their friendship for stubborn reasons. Also to note Damian's stubbornness I'd also like to mention the time where Damian refused to acknowledge Jon could join the teen titans, every time Jon proposed the idea, Damian shut him down till it came the time to vote on whether or not Jon does join the titans and Damian was literally the only person who raised his hand.

This was one of the moments I was most frustrated with Damian because all that arguing with Jon was truly just to annoy him and nothing more, he secretly believed Jon could join the titans the entire time but when it came down to it-

He only made himself and Jon look stupid and proceeds to brush off their friendship once again. I have to admit it is slightly interesting even when frustrating. As for Jon, yes, they bumped heads at first and Jon found himself getting extremely frustrated with Damian's attitude, but it was mostly because Damian is someone, he knows he's going to have to spend a lot of time working besides and he only wanted to be his friend while Damian seemed uninterested.

The thing about these two is that whether they like it or not, they will have to spend their entire lives beside each other. This is something no other dynamic in DC can really replicate. We know Jon feels deeply for Damian, it wasn't able to be verbalized often unfortunately but he has mentioned how highly he thinks of Damian, calling him "the strongest person I know" - stronger than him by far. He's one of the few characters that want to see Damian as he is and doesn't want anything from him, he just likes being around Damian.

And for Damian one of the few ways he knows to provide to Jon is taking him away and going on missions with him, it's kind of sad to think about how this is one of the few ways he knows how to express that he wants to be around Jon. He's gotten up in the middle of the night, went across the city and met up with Jon to hang out with him.

It's sad, yes, but also really sweet. A lot of characters assume the worst for Damian and think that he's bound to end up being the worst version of himself or think he's like a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any moment.

But instead, Jon refuses to acknowledge that Damian can be evil at all, denying entire alternate realities where Damian is slowly becoming the worst version of himself because he deeply believes that in Damian's heart, he could never be anything less than great. Their mantles. Not to talk about DCeased but yes, I will be talking about DCeased because that is the perfect example of how these characters function to me.

This comic showed his the long, excruciating, and lonely years these two would have to face in disaster. The trauma of losing everything, your family and your world and moving mantles to stop it but it being something they had to do together. Like a grave already buried in the ground for them but they laid in it together as kids and adults. If you truly want to understand this ship I deeply think you should turn on your brain and read DCeased.

How they contrast. Jon and Damian's are distinctly different, their personalities are different, their upbringing is different, and what they deeply identify with is different. This is why at times they may argue but at the end of the day, they have to share their life with the other.

How they compare.

At times where they may think they are alone or have no one to talk to then they will always have each other, they're supposed to, that's what their relationship is built on. Understand that in the most basic sense that these two are platonic soulmates. They will be there for each other at the beginning.

And at the end.

They share this great burden together, they share similar paths, fears, worries and goals. They will always be together even when one of them might not want to be because the worst thing you can be when all of these things are happening to you; is alone. Their lives tell the same story just in different places and perspectives, sometimes their most defining moments directly mirror each other.

They both feel like they don’t belong and like they’re stuck between two worlds as well. For Jon, it’s Krypton and Earth, for Damian, its Batman and Al Ghul.

Their mantles supply this destiny they share. It’s what will bring them together and pull them apart.

I feel the need to mention that Jon is one of two characters that sees Damian beyond the son of batman, Damian has said “Well, If I am almost Batman.” and Jon said “You’re so much more than that.”

Damian said “Do you have a better offer?” and Jon said “Well, I have you.”

… I have to love them.

Their relationship with one another platonically. They have the friendship to end all friendships. It quite literally transcends space and time. Regardless of if you like Jon and Damian being friends in the first place or not, you cannot deny that what Jon has done for Damian is not important.

Like I said with Damian, he feels as though the love that he receives has to be earned but when he met Jon, he was introduced to the idea that someone wanted to simply be around him, that someone wanted to be his friend and love him unconditionally. You cannot deny that this friendship helped develop these two in very good directions, not only are these two entertaining but they help each other progress by simply being around the other.

They give to each other what other people can’t. Dick Grayson even admits that Jon sees something in Damian that other people like to ignore. This is very important. Now Jon’s relationship to Damian could help him as well, knowing Damian could grant him an extra layer of empathy and understanding, it already does and he can use what he’s learned from Damian in the future.

Damian teaches Jon what it means to be a hero, Jon teaches Damian what it means to be a kid. Damian shows Jon what love has been and Jon shows Damian what love can be. It’s very compelling. These are two lost people who make each other feel accepted and normal.

The potential of their relationship romantically.

Imagining what it would be like if DC was capable of allowing these two to engage in a romantic relationship with the other is compelling. Firstly, I highly doubt that DC will ever properly portray these two’s relationship with the other if they did pull the trigger.

But in the fantasy world where everything is perfect, I think it’d be nice for these characters to have a relationship free of their narratives. To be allowed to be confused about their feelings and even reject them; to have us as an audience be able to watch these two slowly navigate it over time and especially with them both being same sex, I feel like DC just showing that they’re not afraid to portray that type of relationship between character directly under one of their biggest names is certainly heartwarming.

Jon coming to terms with liking boys and having a crush on someone the same gender as him while also struggling to have that perfect american life that his father’s narrative values so much and that confusing him.

Damian struggling with his feelings and allowing himself to not feel like he’s doing something wrong by falling in love with another person.

And perhaps this love being catalyst for them to want to grow up to be distinctly different from their fathers, to carve a path for themselves because they realize that they are their own person and can’t be entirely perfect for everyone else but just perfect enough for each other.

The wasted potential of the characters overall. Super Sons was a very important comic book, it supplied things for Damian fans that was starved of us. If you look at the internet before Super Sons you will see people complaining about how Damian's stories do not contain a certain element to it which was entirely fixed by Super Sons being created, Super Sons left much to be desired. I still think that series was meant to go on for way longer than it did and contain a lot of meaningful stories for the both of them so it's a real shame that it was cut short.

Unfortunately, even though some writers want to separate Jon and Damian, they’ll never fully be able to because of how engraved Damian is into Jon’s character. Damian is one of Jon’s core personality traits because overall, he is greatly lacking so they’ll never be able to be truly separated. It’s safe to say that his character is ruined and the only way for you to like it is to have bad taste in media.

Why I personally think it’s so good. All of these things I mentioned are not really given to you with other ships like Timkon, Superbat, etc. Nothing speaks to me like this and if you really understood it then you'd know that all of these things are entirely different. Damijon in canon is literally what people think Superbat is, the way that people want Clark to provide release and catharsis to Bruce is literally done for Damijon in canon. Between Superbat, Timkon and Damijon, Damijon evidently has the strongest bond/is allowed to have the strongest bond, these characters distinctly have an effect on the other that cannot be replicated with the others. Not to put these two ships down but it's evident, I've always been against the idea that Timkon and Superbat are similar to Damijon because they just aren't literally at all.

I truly believe that if Jon and Damian weren’t Superman and Batman’s sons then I’d still ship them anyway, I also think with unfortunately the way that DC is dealing with Jon’s character that if Damian was allowed to have a relationship akin to his with Jon’s something almost exactly mirroring Jon and Damian then I’d drop Damijon instantly… but… till that day.

Damian and Jon make each other happy in the purest way possible and till that stops I think I’m shipping that.

What to check out if you’re interested in it. I made a reading list for these two a while back.

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG translation] Jure Maček, Joker Out's drummer: "I don't have time for dating"

An article and interview with Jure Maček, published in Suzy magazine on 1.3.2024.

Original article is available here for Slovenske novice subscribers. Article written by Anita Krizmanić for Suzy magazine. English translation by a member of JokerOutSubs, proofread by IG GBoleyn123.

Music has accompanied the 27-year-old from Logatec since early childhood. He fell in love with it because of his father and grandfather, who were excellent musicians themselves. Besides them, he also had a number of other great teachers who introduced him to various genres, he played in the symphony orchestra and several bands, and just over three years ago, he finally found what he had been looking for – Joker Out, the band that became his new family. A pleasant and open conversation partner, who believed in his dreams and is living them today, gave us an honest interview about what his journey was like before he and his band embarked on the incredible odyssey that started last year before Eurovision.

Tours are tiring, but also incredibly exciting. // "They wouldn't let me play the drums in music school, because they weren't on the curriculum, so I decided that I would learn how to play them on my own."

"Each of us dreamed about one day finding ourselves where we are now. We're aware that many people don't have that chance. We miss home, we haven't been there very often in the past year, which we've already got used to. To each other, as well. We support each other and we know how to coexist. We're doing just fine, but there are moments when you have to grin and bear it. There aren't many of those, though, because we're mostly having a good time and we enjoy making music," a smiling Jure tells us from London, where the boys have been temporarily living and creating since the beginning of the year.

During our chat, he walks around the city and tells us that life with Bojan, Kris, Nace and Jan is very simple. "Because we're great friends, even though we could all use a moment of solitude now and then. Especially now that we're living in a small London apartment. But we know each other so well that we know what each of us is like, when and why he's in a bad mood, what he needs, and how to fix a certain situation. We're a nice and happy family," he smiles, and adds that they all know how to take a step back, but at the same time, they're firm when they want to emphasise their idea or opinion.

"Sometimes it's better if someone says what they're thinking out loud, presents their idea, and if we collectively latch onto something, we can get great results. It's the same with music," he continues.

LIVING HIS DREAMS AT PEACE

The fruits of their hard and dedicated labour over the past few weeks can already be seen, some are yet to materialise. The band recently sent 'Everybody's Waiting' out into the world, a song that centres the personal thoughts and contemplations that accompany many young people.

"When we make music, we try not to think about other worlds and the audience. When a song is being made, each of us has to feel it and add a small part of what makes him happy to it. When we get to the point where all of us are happy with our work, we know that we created something good, and that's also when people can feel it or find themselves in it," he says.

Joker Out, with their magic and meaningfulness, always take us into worlds where everyone is safe and understood, even when they think they're not. He agrees that a loving attitude towards yourself and others is key in the chaotic world that surrounds us.

"I am at peace with the people around me. I appreciate them very much and they make me even more happy to be in this world." He is grateful for fulfilling his dreams, which he never let anyone take from him as a young musician. "I currently make a living only from music, so I am living my dreams," he smiles.

After working on the album, the boys are leaving for the European tour.

DRUMMERS LIKE CONTROL

As a drummer, he keeps in the background, but that doesn't mean he lives in the band's shadow. "We're special people. We're happiest if things are under control. Just the fact that we sit all the way in the back says enough. You can see everything from there," he says, and adds that drummers are pretty technical types who are more reserved than the other band members. "We like the space we create for ourselves around the drums. That is our world and we really enjoy it. We're pretty nuts," he jokes.

We also chat about the band's fans, who are a unique phenomenon, as they know all the lyrics. "It's a crazy feeling when people abroad sing songs in Slovenian." Otherwise, he never craved attention and he's pretty introverted. "Out of everyone in the band, I'm the least enthusiastic about hanging out after gigs, not because I don't like the fans, but because I like my peace. I need time for myself after performances, which the fans very much respect and understand. After each gig, we take time to meet people, even if not all of us are there."

Despite looking thousands of girls in the eyes at gigs, his heart is currently not taken. "There's no time for dating. There was none last year, and none this year yet either," he laughs.

STEALING HIS MUM'S POTS

During our conversation, we also touch on his upbringing, and he tells me that he fell in love with music as a child, since his father Mitja and grandfather Cveto were also musicians. "I remember dancing around the living room with grandpa on Sundays, and moments when I stole my mum's pots from the kitchen, took them to the living room and banged on them with full force. All of that moved something inside me, leading me to being a musician today," he's convinced.

Another key moment happened when his father, who was also a drummer, took him to the concert of the guitarist and frontman of Dire Straits, Mark Knopfler, in Tivoli Hall as a boy. "That was probably where it first became clear to me that I really wanted this," he says. His parents enrolled him in the music school in Logatec where he studied percussion instruments for eight years, he played in a brass band and a symphony orchestra, he was a member of various bands in elementary school.

"They wouldn't let me play the drums in music school, because they weren't on the curriculum, so I decided that I would learn how to play them on my own. After that, I had a more and more successful band each year, it escalated until I joined Joker Out," he remembers his younger years, when he was getting to know various genres and enjoying his calling more and more each year.

"We drummers are special people," says Jure.

FALLING IN LOVE WITH FILMING BECAUSE OF HIS DAD

Music, however, wasn't the only thing he spent years getting to know. In high school, thanks in part to his uncle and his dad, who often took him to the field with him as a cameraman, he worked as a correspondent cameraman and editor for RTV Slovenia (Slovenian national television). "When they were looking for a cameraman at RTV Slovenia, I already knew and understood a lot of things. I kind of miss that job. It was very varied because I spent a lot of time in the field, I was at sports, cultural, and political events. During the time when I was both a cameraman and a musician, I realised that there were a lot of parallels between those worlds."

Now, he sometimes misses a slightly more regular schedule. "I used to be home at four in the afternoon, now I won't be home until May," laughs the likable drummer, who really liked working as a cameraman, but was mainly driven by his commitment to music. Now, for just over three years, he's been part of a band in which he's found something more. "I actually didn't really know how to get to that point, because in Slovenia, we often hear that you can't make a living from music and it might be better to find something else, that it's difficult to survive in the music world, that it's not worth it. But there was always something driving me so strongly that I was determined to prove to myself and others that it's possible."

THE CAMERA IS ALWAYS ON

If you want it strongly enough, you can achieve anything you want, he says. He's sure that as a musician, he will never achieve anything bigger than Joker Out. "Even though I like to emphasise that I'm living my dreams, it's not all sunshine and roses. The music world can be very tough, you have to fight every day, because you don't know what you're getting yourself into and what the result will be. Everything is a little unknown."

While the members of Joker Out are constantly discovering new unknown things in their creative world, they're definitely not unknown on the music scene. They caress our ears and souls with their finely crafted lyrics and excellent music. Their fans can now even hope that these outstanding young musicians will record a documentary about their journey in the near future. "We started recording in 2021 and we have a lot of things in stock that might interest people. With us, it's like this: when we're on tour, the camera can be on at any moment, so we have to be a little mindful of how we behave. Actually, everything is recorded – backstage, travelling, hotels, arguments, as well as lovely moments!"

The fans are thrilled by his not-at-all-reserved photos.

DREAMING OF SUMMER AND CAMPING

The magical pinnacle of the band's musical odyssey, which started even before their acclaimed Eurovision performance, happened last October in sold-out Stožice. On this colourful journey, they only had a moment to catch their breath at home before setting off again for new adventures. After a temporary move to London, the boys travelled to Helsinki on the 28th of February, where they did production rehearsals, and their European tour starts on the 1st of March. "We will board the bus which we will live on for one month. I'm looking forward to this experience and the bus tour, as it will be our longest yet," he doesn't hide his excitement. The band will come back to Slovenia for seven days at the end of March to regain their strength, then they will have a few performances in the UK, and on the 15th of April, they will lock themselves into a studio in Hamburg for a month, recording the album that was created in London.

"This year, we were home for three days, until the 4th of January, which makes the days spent in Slovenia even more precious," adds Jure, who is endlessly excited for the summer. "I've seen enough hotels in the past year, so I want a genuine holiday like in the old days, when a friend and I converted a car to be able to sleep in a camp. I miss simple holidays in nature and without a phone. That's what I really want this year, at least for a week or so," one of the most charismatic Slovenian drummers reveals his humble wish to us.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post!

[gotranting]

The Winter Feast - Part One

I had this idea in my mind, and while it did turn out differently than I planned, hopefully someone will enjoy it.

It is a short Cregan x female reader fic where they knew each other for a long time. She lives on the outskirts of Wolfswood, away from the town and the castle itself. Guarding the Northern nature, she is the one people come to whenever they need certain herbs, or a spell done for them. Or when they need to enter the Wolfswood. During the preparations for the long winter, Cregan along with two Northern Lords ventures out to hunt in order to help in securing the winter stocks. Yet in doing so, he forgets to alert the young witch.

*Disclaimer – The Children of The Forest have a human form in the story. Also, I don't know every detail of GoT lore, so the characters are a bit OOC. I tried to find out more about Cregan's personality but there isn't much written about him? I made him after the …sadly only 5 minute show version. I tried to avoid using Y/N because it really throws me off, so there will be a lot of nicknames in the story.

*Next part will have The Feast itself)

*The only description of the character is red hair and brown eyes, although it's not mentioned as much.

Winter is coming.

The Southern lords may mock these words all they wished, but for Northerners, it was a matter of life and death.

Not all survived the harshness of the season, and if it was to judge by the snowstorms, this winter will take many lives. Young, old, lowborn or highborn – it mattered not. She will come for all if they did not prepare.

It was a common sight during these times, to see the hunters coming back from the Wolfswood, their carts filled with deer, boar, rabbits…all sorts of creatures. The meat would be stored to secure the provisions, for the times when all of Nature lay asleep. The skins and the fur were to be gathered, in order to craft clothing that could shield the people from the biting cold.

Anyone could be a hunter if they had the skill and a weapon to arm themselves. In order to secure Winterfell for the winter, many men and women went out in the untamed lands. Younger ones especially, for what better chance than a hunt to prove their bravery?

It is true that some overestimated the danger of the wild, taking far more than was needed or being needlessly careless. Such folk were always reminded of the consequences. Some did not return. Some returned with a part of them missing. And on some came misfortune long after reaching the presumed safety of their homes.

It seemed that it was not direwolves and bears alone that could tear away a man's arm or take their life. No, something else lurked around those woods, paying close attention during the time of the Hunt. Controlling so it does not get out of hand, and that those who walked amongst the tree giants respected all that was around them.

Perhaps it was the creatures from the stories old nans would tell to scare off little children. Perhaps not.

Old Gods were whispering through the branches as well no doubt, watching all those who entered their domain. However, sometimes there were guardians in a more…human form.

Once they were known as Children of the Forest. A race many believed to have been slaughtered and driven out of Westeros.

Some remained. They could not part from their homes, and it would seem they hid themselves well enough.

How it was done, no one knows. Their own ancient magick I suppose. Perhaps they took the form of humans. Perhaps, with time their features had changed, yet the magick remained. What is known is that they were still around Men, and would continue to be in order to guard the rivers, and the forests – and all that lived in them.

One it would seem stayed in the North. A young woman, one might say still a Summer Child, as she had only lived through twenty winters or so.

Her anscestors were well known to the townsfolk and the higher lords alike. They were respected for their wisdom, offering their help when a young babe fell ill, or when cattle needed help with birthing their young. If one needed herbs which were not easy to find, they would come to her family. If they needed a lover to take interest in them, they knocked on her door.

Or, if they wished for another to never return from their travels, it would seem the girl was the first they went to.

Despite being friendly enough with the villagers, she still lived on the outskirts of the Wolfswood, preferring the company of the animals and greenery instead of a more…talkative bunch.

She was respected yes. Feared as well I would say. They knew she protected their lands and for that they were grateful. Even the former Warden of the North came to consult her, in order to know which hunting grounds were unavailable to them.

The young woman would guide them to the bountiful parts of the woods, where they could fill their carts with game without destroying the balance of their ancient homeland.

In turn, they promised not to take more than was necessary. And so an agreement was made.

Honored by the old Rickon Stark, and his son after he became the new Lord of Winterfell.

The young Wolf of the North. Cregan to her.

She never developed a habit of addressing him by his titles, and the young wolf never complained.

His father introduced them at a younger age, and even though she was far more familiar with his sister, the three of them got along rather well.

As the years passed, Cregan turned to his own duties in order to keep his people safe. The girl could not travel to the castle, as her place was here in the wild. Yet, their friendship never weakened.

He would still come to her every Autumn in order to alert her of the hunting party's whereabouts. And as the Hunting season had arrived, she expected him to find her once more.

It seemed though, that the young Warden was too eager to grasp a bow and his sword once more, for no knock was to be heard on her door.

.

„I propose a bet my friends! In order to make our little adventure more interesting, let us see who will catch the most deer once we reach the clearing.“ A voice rang out through the silence of the Wolfswood. „The one with least kills will need to engage in wooing our beloved Aida.“

„If I remember well, the last time you lost Cerwyn, and attempted to pull the same jest, old Aida threw a hefty amount of potatoes at you. Aren't you still forbidden from entering the kitchens?“ The young Osric Mormont jabbed at his friend as he reminded him of that day.

Old Aida it seems had survived eighty winters for a reason. The old cook might had been but a servant in Winterfell, yet she treated the highborn no different than the kitchen boys and girls that worked with her.

A clever soul would not enter her domain when there was a hasty need to bring the meals on the tables in the castle. If they even tried to rush her, they were met with curses that would make a Wildling cover in shame.

She must have been good with a bow or some other weapon in her youth, for Arnolf Cerwyn was hit with almost every potato she threw at him, after he tried to sweet talk her, making a mistake of blocking her way to the oven.

His closest friends were in the main hall, when they saw the young Lord run out with his head covered, as the surprisingly agile woman hobbled after him with her broom in one hand and the sack in another. He could not hear the end of it for days after the event.

Along with that, he had to bring all the vegetables back to Aida, thus facing her wrath once more.

„Just you laugh Osric. You are only jealous, for you do not know how it feels when a woman chases after you with such passion! She shall see we are meant for one another, mark my words“, Cerwyn grinned as he took another swig of his mead.

Cregan could only huff and roll his eyes as he listened to his companions. Even though the young Warden was no stranger to teasing Arnolf, they would frighten all of the animals around if they continued on with their banter. He told them as much, as he surveyed their surroundings, trying to notice the tracks left in the snow.

„I do believe the deer will flee when they see that in our presence stands the frightening Wolf of the North, wouldn't they Arnolf? He would scare them all with his icy gaze, none can stand against him!“ shouted Osric.

He was only met with a stony glare from the young Warden.

Yet after a short moment of silence, it did not deter him from releasing a howl to which Arnolf merrily joined in. Cregan felt a headache coming as he watched his closest friends double in laughter at their poor jest.

„Come now Lord Stark, do release that frown you always hold. We are away from the castle and our duties. Let us rejoice on this fine day, enjoy a good drink while singing the songs of old.“

„Cerwyn, if you start singing now, I swear to the old Gods, it will be you who will go on that cart. Do you wish to tell Aida that we are the reason Winterfell will starve this winter? I assure you that death by starvation would be a better ending than Aida finding you.“

Despite the sharpness in his tone, Cregan could not help but smirk as he saw his friend's face pale at the image conjured up in his mind no doubt.

„Cregan my friend, after all this time I am wounded that you are not aware of my many talents. One can sing while their arrows still pierce straight through the heart of their target. But fine then! Let us all die of boredom as we seek the bloody animals,“ sighed Arnolf as he unsheathed his bow, finally joining in the search for the herd. Osric could only clap him on the shoulder for comfort as he passed in the other direction.

The young lords spent their time in silence and occasional banter as youth often did, as Arnolf could not keep quiet for too long.

Yet, no matter his merry nature, Lord Cerwyn was aware of the weight of their task.

While they were not the only ones to venture out into these woods in order to prepare for Winter, they could not return without a filled wagon. Their people depended on them, and there were many mouths to feed. The night would soon fall upon them, and they could not stay away from the castle for too long. They had to do the most they could with the time they had.

As they went through the denser part of the forest, it was becoming harder to tread through the snow which only seemed to become deeper as they went forward. The large firs looming above them obscured what little remained of the daylight.

Soon, other creatures besides simple deer and rabbits would roam about, and even though the three men had faced blood thirstier foes, it would be a difficult fight if they could not see nor move properly in a fight. The light mood from before was replaced with unease, for it felt as if more than a few wandering ravens observed their movements.

Cregan's frown only deepened as he listened for any unwanted noise.

A branch snapped above them, all three sharply looking up for any sign of a threat. Yet only a deep croak was heard as two ravens flew out of their nest.

„I do not think we are alone,“ whispered Arnolf, his bow drawn to the thickness of the fir canopy.

„Perhaps Aida has finally tracked you down Arnolf“, remarked Cregan, tightening his grip on Ice.

Indeed, even with the birds flying away, the hairs on their necks still stood up, as the feeling of being watched did not disappear.

As they moved forward, a shadow crept above them.

Or was it around them?

Why did it seem as if the trees were closing in on them slowly? Where was the path they came from, it was becoming hard to tell. Were they spinning in circles?

Their heads were starting to feel heavy as they tried to orient themselves. While they could only feel the eyes upon them before, now it was as if they could see thousands of glistening orbs everywhere they turned.

Seeing a real enemy was one thing. Feeling as if it is all in your head without being able to fight back was another. The three certainly felt like one would after far too much mead. Only, their flasks were still full.

„We need to turn back. Now.“ One of the lords shouted - it was difficult to tell which one for all the sounds were muffled. It was rather obvious they were unwelcome here.

„Which way?“ That could have been Osric. Must've been. Shielding his eyes from the rising storm he sought out his friends, unable to see either of them.

A strong pull at his cloak dragged him back.

Aiming for the neck he turned towards the target, only to clash with the greatsword, as grey eyes pierced through him.

Ice and years of practice shielded Cregan from a certain death had that dagger gone through his neck. He gave no time for Osric to come to himself as he nodded in the other direction, dragging Osric along with him.

The two ran as they thought the trees would swallow them up if they lingered a moment more.

Gasping, they both crashed into the clearing, the storm behind them settling down.

„What in the fucking hells was that?“ Arnolf stood by them as he tried to catch his breath as well. They could hear each other properly at last.

A creek of water was humming nearby, even a few chirping birds could be heard as they searched for any remaining seeds.

Strange how only a moment ago there was no sound at all.

„I do not know, and I do not think I wish to know. We are alive, that is all that matters. And look! Over there, do you see them?“ Osric pointed at the herd on the other side of the creek.

Turning around, all three caught sight of the deer trying to reach the last few remains of green hanging on the branches.

Looks like they found what they were looking for after all.

Crouching down, their bowstrings drawn back, they focused on the task that brought them here in the first place. There would be time to talk about what they experienced, but for now they had to be quick.

For the storm could always return as fast as it arrived.

.

„Admit it brother! You lost on purpose! You do know, you don't need a wager as an excuse to court Aida. We shan't judge your tastes.“ Cregan laughed boisterously, as they loaded the last carcass onto the cart.

It seems that the North would survive after all, if all other hunts were as successful.

The road back was far easier than the one they took when entering the woods, thankfully without any new strange encounters. Their hunt had gone far better than they thought it would, creating a joyful atmosphere as they prepared to return home.

Cregan's frown melted as he saw his friends laughing together. Nevertheless, he could not forget what happened to them. It was unlike anything he experienced before. He came to his senses as fast as he could. Still, whatever that was caught him unaware.

He could not kill the wind, nor could he stab eyes if there was no body attached to them. He was caught unprepared.

That frightened him, even as his laughter joined that of his friends.

She would know, he thought. Surely she would. To know Nature was her duty. Surely, she would've been alerted of all who come and go out of the Wolfswood. Surely his friend would…

Cregan inhaled sharply as he heard a light tapping sound behind him, as if something was knocking against the tree bark.

The Starks took their oaths seriously. So did she.

Gods, he made a mistake.

As he turned around, the tapping became louder. The shadow from before had a clearer form now, as she lowered her hood, sheathing her dagger back into its scabbard. Grey eyes met stern brown ones. He took one breath more.

„My lady“, he bowed his head, hoping to somehow melt the iciness of her expression as she regarded the three of them. A raven settled down on her shoulder, as she took a step towards the men, casting one glance to the cart.

„Not much of a lady Lord Stark. I do believe I told you to stop calling me that,“ she murmured gazing back at him. „We had an agreement, you do recall that yes?"

Osric and Arnolf could only exchange an amused look as they watched the Warden of the North trying to appease the young witch. It was a rare thing for her to call him by his titles, if only to tease him. Yet now, there was no trace of a smile.

„Aye, I remember. I swear to you it was an honest mistake, one that I regret committing. We wanted to head back to Winterfell as soon as possible. There is a Feast coming, and I need to oversee the planning of it.“

The witch's expression remained unchanged. Cregan tried once more.

„You have my word Y/N, we haven't taken more than is needed. We were in the clearing you took me to. What you see in the cart is all we hunted.“

„Aye, we were lucky to get to that bloody clearing in the first place. Say Y/N“, added Osric, „is it possible for a blizzard to occur in only one part of the forest?“

As Osric continued to explain what happened to them, Cregan's eyes darkened as he regarded the witch in front of him. She did not seem surprised at all at the strange event taking place.

„All of that to teach us a lesson?“ She turned her eyes back to Cregan, both now glaring at one another.

„I do not ask you to alert me Cregan because I do not trust you to keep our Oath.“

She cut him off as he went to speak once more: „And before you accuse me of anything, know that if I had not reached you on time, we would not be having this discussion. What happened to you is a measure of precaution. I told you once, those who trespass in the Wolfswood do not get out of them alive. Those are not words for bed stories to scare little children.“

She examined him once more, trying to see if her wards had caused any injury. „The spells do not make a difference between a friend or foe.“

She could try to hide behind a stern voice all she wanted, but Cregan could see how her eyes kept moving over his form, trying to see if there is any trace of blood.

He did not know when he moved, for in a few strides he stood in front of her, his eyes softening as he laid one hand on her shoulder.

„We are all right Y/N. We are here, and alive, it is all right,“ He murmured, as his fingers unconsciously traced soothing patterns on her shoulder.

Brown eyes met grey ones for a brief moment before she returned to the task of looking him over. Despite her glares, he knew she was afraid of not making it in time.

He always saw through her when it came to this. Cregan knew how protective she would get over the people she cared about. He supposed they were alike in that matter. And if he was correct in his assumption, she will do her best to hide her worry.

„You bloody idiot, how can you be so reckless!“, she shoved him and he could not help but laugh, which only added to her anger. „You absolute fool!“

He had to take a step back to stop himself from falling down. She was smaller than him, yet he found himself on the ground far more times than he wanted to admit when he was on the receiving end of her anger.

„Is that the way to speak to your Lord?“ he quirked an eyebrow, trying to catch her hands, as she kept pushing at his shoulders.

„Oh will you shut it, you almost died because of a stupid mistake.“

„From your wards.“

„Shut it, I am aware!“

He chuckled once more, finally grasping her hands in his, bringing them between their chests, his eyes holding a gleam as he tried to calm her once more.

„I promise my lady, the next time I do something as reckless as that you are welcome to unleash your fury all you want. For now, I-„

„There will not be a next time, and I do not need your permission for that.“

„As you wish my lady.“

„Shut it.“

His gaze rested on her, a fond smile still playing at his lips. They bickered often, when one or the other did something overly dangerous. Considering their duties, threatening situations were unavoidable. Even though both were skillful fighters, one could often hear them arguing over the lack of carefulness.

A cough interrupted them, making Cregan quickly release her hands, as Arnolf walked up to the pair.

„In order to settle this matter once and for all I propose a truce! Dear Y/N, would you join us in the Winter Feast? We shall settle this in the Northern way! With a good song, and an even better tankard of mead, all of today's troubles shall be forgotten.“

„You cannot refuse, for after all, we have almost lost our Warden today“, chimed in Osric as he came up on the other side of them.

„Besides", a sly smirk appeared on his face, "We are wounded, for you have not paid such care to our own possible injuries“, he clapped the young Wolf on the shoulder. Cregan only frowned as he regained his composure, rolling his eyes at his friend's antics.

„I planned on coming anyway, you needn't guilt me into going my Lords.“ The raven above her croaked once more. „For now, I have other matters to attend to, so I shall bid you farewell.“

As she turned towards the Wolfswood, Cregan found himself shouting after her: „You are armed yes?“

Rising her dagger out of her scabbard she waved as the shadows of the giant fir trees enveloped her once more.

„Falling for women who attempt to kill you Cregan? Can't say I am surprised. It is all right, we shan't judge your tastes old friend. Besides, she is a fiesty beauty.“

Arnolf's face was met with fresh snow, as Cregan pushed past him towards their horses.

„Shut it.“

[magpod-confessions]

The amount of the fandom who listen to this podcast, which condemns the audience for being a voyeur very openly, and then completely miss that point is staggering. Art has an inherently voyeuristic element, to listen to suffering as one does when listening to TMA is to be a voyeur, to hear the petty office gossip and the drama between characters on tape is inherently invasive.

It's also reflective of reality.

It's such a key piece of analysis and it seems like the fandom is swamped in condemnation of characters for revealing information on tape when the question then is: How else would we know? We are voyeurs, listening to this fictional world where we are dependent on the creator to showcase what details are significant. I think that generally, that is quite well done and at the same time, people get quite angry over it.

I'm not certain I'm articulating this well, but I think the biggest example is Melanie's passing mention of Jon's sexuality. It's so interesting to me that people condemn Georgie and Melanie for talking about it (but not Martin, which...), but that lens is not self-reflective of the fact that we, as listeners, should also not know it. It is representative of a lot of real life interactions in a very specific way that lives outside of idealism where information about people is often revealed and obtained without consent from either party. Part of the purpose of that reveal I believe is genuinely to comment on what the audience has been wondering about Jon in terms of sexuality and to call them in for their own voyeuristic tendencies by making them listening to it.

And yet, the only analysis that comes out of that is fighting over what that statement means in terms of Jon's sexuality. The number of arguments over what flavor of asexual that man is like he's an ice cream freezer crops up every month or so. The information is minimal and three people removed from the source, and not intended to be overhead by us, and then it causes a debate. The purpose of that, and overhearing gossip and learning things about people they haven't revealed themselves is that we are not supposed to know at all!

Huge fandom miss in my opinion in terms of analysis.

That isn't the only instance--I think the final statements of Elias and Rosie are also very good examples where that is information that we are not supposed to know. Unlike statement givers who have come to the institute or those who are not named, they don't offer that information freely (as much as can be said with an Archivist in tow), and its deeply disturbing that we, as viewers, have access to it. That so many headcanons and thoughts and ideas are built around twenty minutes of what is essentially forcibly extracted information.

The listener as the voyeur is one of the strongest elements of TMA and missing that I think is the core of so much fandom discourse. We could all benefit from some self-awareness, I think.

.

[seventhcallisto]

Chapter ⅰ. "loved by."

— His Cologne.

An/Cw; innocent forehead and neck kisses. Touching. Some arguing. Briefest mentions of domestic violence and scars(other characters). Lots and lots and LOTS of world building. Read prologue, or you'll be v confused. Idk how to word count on here or know how corporate people talk goodbye. (Also I don't have favorites, i love all my men equally)

Wonwoo had another toss and turn night. He's gotten less and less sleep these past weeks than he's ever had in his entire life. His mind can't stop wondering. He's plagued by nightmares of their missing soulmate. The one who begged as she pulled away. Cried like she was being tortured. It transfers into his dreams. Haunted him when he woke up grasping the sheets. Gasping for air every time. Only to realize she wasn't there next to him.

"Hey." Mingyu side steps wonwoo, having just woken up himself, the house was fairly empty, many of the guys were doing their shoots, filming, and/or out. Because of that, wonwoo and mingyu have the house to themselves. The only sound of birds chirping could be heard through cracks in the windows. Gyu pulls a bowl and a bag of cereal, pouring himself some. He glances at wonwoo, occasionally watching him stir breakfast in a large pan. After pouring some milk, he leans against the kitchen counter. Eyeing wonwoos quiet behavior.

"What's wrong?" Yes. He already knows the answer. He can feel something has been awry with wonwoo since.. well. A while. "Nothing.." he lies with a sigh, looking over his glasses at mingyu. Gyu slurps the cereal off his spoon. "Bullsh1t," he mumbles through a mouthful, wonwoo grimaces. "You've been off for weeks, don't tell cheol I'm saying this, but.. You're not telling us either. Not even i know what's wrong.." mingyu looks up through his lashes, stirring his cereal half hazerdly.

Before wonwoo replies, mingyu is chewing through another bite. Wonwoo sighs. His eyes are cast back down to his wrist. The golden goldfish taunts him. "I met another.. one of us, the fourteenth one." it's so casually said. Gyu chokes on his bite. Coughing and sputtering into the sink. "What? Like.." he points to the spot right under his own ear. There's a mark there, small, barely noticeable. It's uncompleted and messy. Saturn, surrounded by its rings.

Wonwoo nods.

You're gonna get fired, but maybe it's what you deserve. Your boss was somewhat upset you left without saying goodbye. Eunha has always been a kind soul to you. You've spent all your time sucking up to her for weeks. Anything to distract you. You mindlessly play with your ear. Caressing your own soul mark. Everyone is born with their own soul mark. It isn't until later their soulmates' mark comes through. You were born with saturn behind your right earlobe, tiny specks of the galaxy shining behind it, the colors vibrant against your skin tone.

You're taking a walk after work. Already dressed to visit some places you had on your bucket list. Not to toot your own horn, but you're feeling better. There's nothing wrong with pampering yourself every once in a while.

"Thank you," you tell the cashier as she checks you out. Bags upon bags lay on your arms when you step out back into the street. Shops line back to back, you glance at each. Taking your time. Spring is almost in full bloom. You find yourself wanting to go out more to enjoy the things you haven't taken the time to before. Your eyes scan every sign, every decoration you enjoy or find adorable. You slow to a stop in front of a bus stop. You glance at the advertisements and help wanted posters.

'Soul mark removal session - book by appointment,' the paper reads. 'Lee Hyun,' the soul doctor in the paper smiles brightly. You want to look away, to pretend you didn't see it for some reason. Yet you reach out and pull off a piece of paper with a number. Turning it over and then shoving it in your pocket.

Not even the next hour you're calling the number, your fingers tap against your marble counter as you wait for the dial tone on speaker. You're on hold for ten minutes. The price of morals is high on your mind. "Hello, this Jane with Soul Surge. How may I help you today?" Your conversation with the desk lady is quick, yet you're still tapping your fingers in anticipation as you continue booking your appointment. "And you will be billed two days after your first appointment. How would you like to pay? Alright.." her keyboard clicks.

"Alright, I have scheduled an appointment for you with Dr. Lee, would you like a reminder? " Before you know it, you're done talking and hanging up. An appointment next week. You sigh, the burden on your shoulder still feels heavy. You have to remind yourself to breathe.

The next week comes sooner than later. You're lacking with work because you're so distracted. You bite your lip and toss before sleep the day before. You stare at yourself in a mirror. The first time you've worn clothes that show the majority of your soul marks. Your face grows ever redder at what people will think. For such a young girl to have so many marks on her? It feels scandalous. You pull a jacket over. Although the weather reads warmer than it has all week.

You're called into Dr. Lees office. You're sat across his pristine white desk. "What can I do for you today?" He starts off, a kind smile on his aged lips. You sigh "well I have thirteen soul marks. And I would like to get them removed. " You emphase with your hands, eyebrows furrowed. "That certainly is a number, I admit I do not think I've had a customer with that many, but that shouldn't be a problem. May I take a look?"

You show him all the ones you can reach on your own. If he's surprised, you can't tell. He throws away his gloves, sliding back into his chair. "I'm able to remove only a few of your soulmates' marks on you at a time, but if I can remove your own mark fully, then with time, the others should dissappear." You nod. There is a solution, after all. "And, sorry but- I've heard that after the mark is removed, the person who removed them feels..lonely?"

He laughs lightly, "No, no, that is a complete urban legend." You let out the air you're holding. It's too good to be true. And you're right. "But the other people involved, the other soulmate or soulmates will go through major discomfort, uhm, it will go away in less than a year, permanently. If you are to get it removed, you will never be able to make a connection with your soulmate." his tone is somewhat cheerful. Yet the dread in your stomach builds as he goes on.

"Oh," you don't have a response to his words. He notices your face dropping. "But, like I mentioned. the discomfort feeling should go away within a year-long period." He uses his hands to emphase his words. "And these - the discomfort feeling. How does it feel for the soulmates involved exactly?" You press, pulling your bag onto your lap to hug it. Comforting yourself.

"Well. The effect should take place directly after the removal process. They'll feel a slight burning, like an ant bite sensation. Eventually, after a few days, it'll turn into an urge to itch the spot. The spot will swell and redden within a couple of weeks, and soon enough, week by week, pieces of it will be absorbed through the skin. The symptoms may vary depending on the person. Nowadays, there are creams to help with the symptoms and process."

You bid the Dr goodbye.

Before your treck home, you decide to visit some more attraction spots while you're in the city. You're happy you can afford the luxuries, but you've already overgone your budget this month. You watch street performers, and occasionally, you'll grab a treat to take home to eat as you walk. One snack won't hurt. Your hands are in your jacket. Enjoying the afternoon breeze. In the back of your mind, you're thinking about the decision you want to make.

"Oh, excuse me!" A lady not much older than you apologizes as she bumps into you, her stomach is wide with pregnancy, two kids sit in a double stroller, no older than a year. She has her hands full. "Oh no, that's my fault," you wave her off politely, looking at the stairs behind her. "Would you like some help?" You offer, she smiles gratefully. "If it isn't too much to ask.." she laughs lightly. You're holding the end of the stroller as you slowly decend the stairs.

Once you reach the end of the stairs, she's bowing her head, thankfully. "Thanks, uhm.." You tell her your name. "What a lovely name, surely to bring good luck, I'm Kim Jiung," you smile. "Are you a shaman, perhaps?" She smiles back, pushing the stroller forward. You follow with a short pace. Stepping side by side. "My husband is," she continues, "when i was your age, he was the most desired shaman on the block." she laughs as she reminisces. "I met my husband asking for advice." she stops the stroller and lifts her long sleeved floral navy blue dress all the way up to her elbow. Scars litter most of her arm.

On the inner curve of her elbow is a crown placed on a perfectly red pillow, the diamonds in the crown shift as she turns it towards you. "That's when I found my soulmate," she cheerily smiles, pushing the stroller once again. Your smile doesn't reach your eyes, yet it's a sweet story. "Because of the law placed for soulmates, i was able to divorce my husband at the time." A sad look crosses her face. "He was a women hitter. And a drunk. It got worse when I told him about my current husband, youngwin. The process took a year to complete." She smiles to herself at the end. "I wouldn't change the hurt for anything," her hand goes to caress her belly.

"Weren't you scared he'd reject you.. because you were married?" You ask suddenly. She's not taken aback in the slightest. "Never," she sighs peacefully. The sun sets to your left, and the sidewalk is void of many people. "He was the most understanding person in the world," she turns to look at you. "My parents never approved of my relationships. They didn't help me when my ex-husband got violent." She smiles sadly. "But my youngwin did," she turns to begin pushing the stroller again.

You stutter to a stop, watching as she takes a few steps ahead. She looks back to see where you are. Then she sits on a bench. She swings the stroller around to look at her babies, wiping her hand against one of their faces softly. "Healing takes a while on your own, but when you have support, it's much easier to get through the days," she coos at the kids softly. You feel sluggish as you walk over and sit next to her, the settling silence nips you.

You watch the children grasp onto their toys and laugh joyously at their mothers' tickles. Her soothing words bring out coos from the twins that make you smile. "How soon are you due?" You ask, turning to face her. She pats her stomach. "Only four and a half more months," she makes a motion, crossing her fingers. You laugh. "A summer baby, thankfully, I can not do any more winter due dates. i already have plenty of winter siblings," she finishes off, pulling out a snack for the twins. You hum quietly.

"I was an only child to three parents, even that was too much for them," you snicker. Leaning back on the bench, you watch the twins messily smack their food around. She turns to look at you.

"Sometimes children can make or break a couple." You know she doesn't mean anything by it. She's just feeding conversation. You're still reminded of that fateful June night. She takes notice of your silence and your distant expression. "I get it,.. it can be hard, but if you're willing to.. you know - talk to each other. That's always the first step to getting better." She smiles reassuringly. Squeezing the hand on your leg. "When my husband and I finalized our soul bond. I was scared of him not liking me - not my past. But me. It was hard for us to communicate." She sighs. Squeezing your hand again. Her eyes fall to your soul marks. Both on your wrists.

"But we got through it because he stayed, and he cared. And I wanted to get better for him, with him." she pats your hand. "Whatever it is, I'm genuinely sure it will work out for you." her gaze is soft and kind like a mother's. You find yourself giving a small smile back.

The week you met jiung your head swirled with unease, she takes some of it away with her advice. She's updated you on her life almost every day. You've become close friends, possibly even best friends in the span of the week. Although older than you she is definitely the more lively and extroverted one in your friendship. You don't mind though, her positivity is a breath of fresh air. Pictures of her twins, Jino and Jina fill your messages. You can't help but adore their chubby faces, their petite pregnant mom holds them up for one photo smiling gleefully, you assume her husband took the photo. 'They're getting bigger than me!' The text after announces.

Your appointment for your soul mark removal is soon. You're not nervous if you don't think about it every second. The man- soulmate you bumped into seemed well off, right? His clothing was designer. His glasses, too. He- and his other soulmates will be able to afford the solution cream.. right? Whenever you think about him too much, your heart flitters. You try to focus on the small things in your life. And not the way he stared at you. The way his name echos in your head every so often. The way your soul mark yearns to be connected with his. What it'll feel like to be connected with the others as well, how they feel, what they're like. Your mind betrays your wishes not to have those thoughts.

In the midst of night, you're cursed with dreams, Tangled into sheets, laughing with him. More than one person is there, every so often the bed sinks in and you can fel yourself pressed against another person. Skin meets skin in soft, innocent touches, just wishing to be close to each other. The sun beats through the sheets, creating an angelic like glow. You can never make out the murmurs and whispers. When he steps out of the blanket, you miss his touch. You feel empty without him. And then, you wake up, usually groaning at your mind for creating such a tantalizing dream. One you can't forget the next day.

Mingyu is no stranger to the looks his members give him. "What do you know?" Seungkwan is the first to ask, jutting his head at the older guy sitting in the makeup chair. He pushes on mingyu's shoulder, biting into an apple slice. "No, it's a secret. I promised Woo," gyu mumbles, crossing his arms. Across the room, wonwoo sleeps in his chair while the makeup artists finish. He's catching up on missed – well deserved – sleep.

"We're tied, remember? I have a right to know. We don't keep secrets," Seungkwan pouts, chewing the rest of his apple slice down. Gyu also pouts, a reactive thing he copies. Seungcheols chin falls on top of mingyu's head, eavesdropping the entire time. An urging look is in his eyes, encouraging mingyu to go on. He almost gives in. "No. I can't, it's something you have to ask wonwoo about." He sighs and turns away from his members.

Seungcheol and seungkwan share a look over mingyu's makeup chair.

The drive back to the house is long, and wonwoo attempts to catch some more zzz's on the drive. The city lights bounce off the glass, it's well past 9 o'clock. Wonwoo gets the farthest window seat in the back. Hoshi and seungcheol are sat next to him. Arms thrown over each other to share warmth, cheol' head falls on hosh's shoulder, the absence of his snores is a tall tell sign he's not really asleep. Hoshi is pressed up against the other window. He's on his phone, scrolling aimlessly through his timeline. Joshua, Dino, and Vernon take the middle seats, each one of them passing their phones around. They laugh quietly. Mingyu sits in the passenger, his eyes relaxed but not yet asleep.

Usually, a drive home like this would make wonwoo feel content. His soulmates being close by is enough to satisfy the need to be curled under a pile of them. He's lost in thought when the van comes to a stop at their building. Everyone begins to shuffle out. Wonwoo and mingyu are the last two to leave the van. Mingyu shoots a look at wonwoo when he steps out, watching his other member rub behind his ear, where the fourteenth soul mark is. Both of them - followed by their manager - walk into the building.

Everyone's already relaxed when they all get settled down. Movie night consists of seats being switched around here and there. Some don't even bother watching. Just lingering around on their phones or laptops, content to just listen in. Everybody needs some soul bonding. Lately, their energy is drained faster, even Jihoon can feel it. He sits on a single armchair, his laptop propped on his lap. His hoodie is rolled up his arm, while the rest of him drapes comfortably in the chair.

Jihoon mindlessly rubs his soul mark, the planet behind his ear. It stings every so often, like it would when he's been away from his soulmates for too long. He sees wonwoo most days doing the same rubbing motion on his ear. No matter how he tries to avoid asking wonwoo what's been going on, he can't help but feel he won't get an answer out of him even if he did. Wonwoo can definitely be secretive and stubborn sometimes. Jihoon glances to wonwoo and mingyu, talking quietly in the kitchen just around the corner. Only he can see them stare at each other, a heated discussion beginning to rise.

He tries to listen in, but it's too loud with the movie. The rest of the members are wrapped around each other on the couch, work clothing and blankets string about here and there, and they haven't had much time to clean up recently. Jihoon slips out of the living room quietly, leaving his closed laptop in his spot. Only cheol blinks an eye for a split second, watching jihoon go.

Jihoon quietly walks into the kitchen, which is dim except for the microwave light that pops popcorn every second or so. Wonwoo stands with his head hung low, defeated. Gyu turns to the sounds of shuffling, glancing between jihoon and wonwoo. Jihoon stares back, a questionable look on his face when he glances between the two quiet men.

"We need to talk," wonwoo says, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes only meet halfway with Jihoons.

Your favorite place on earth was your bed, minus the crumbs. You had spent your first paycheck on it, and you don't regret it at all. It's a king size on the floor. You're perfectly content with it. You can lie and say you're always perfectly content. Today is a lie day.

Your face is squished against your sheets, and your phone is propped up on a pillow. Your appointment isn't until 12. You can feel every one of your soul marks pulse every once in a while. A hearty rhythm you've gotten used to, but you're highly opposed to. A pulling urge to get out of bed and wander the streets til you find who you're looking for. You rub your tired eyes. It was a strange night. Series of dreams plaguing your mind when they're still fresh.

You stand on the sidewalk, golden hues paint every corner. Jiung is no longer pregnant, and her kids aren't currently with her. Surely an image of her your dream made up. She talks mindlessly as you walk. Your eyes never stray from her. "You'll know what to do. The timing will be perfect. Everything will fall into place." She repeats every so often. You're in the most expensive outfit you've ever bought, one you used for clubbing when you turned 21, and you never wore again. Every shiney piece of it sparkles like diamonds caught on flash. In the next moment, you lift your head up to photographers and cameras flashing in your face. You go to shield your face, but you're already being pulled away by your shoulder. You blink your eyes, and you're in an airport now. Faceless strangers shove their phones in your face. A hand tugs on your own, pulling you along, another guides your waist. Both help ease the twisted feeling arising. You're crowded between people escorting you. As soon as you begin feeling claustrophobic, you fall into a weightless state. Floating mindlessly before drifting down into a bed. Your bed. Sheets are neatly tucked in, but blankets strew all of the area. As you continue to look, the bed seems to grow. You can hear the distant sound of clattering in your kitchen, yet you can't see anything pass the bed. Quiet talking and whispers, they're purposeful as if they're trying not to wake you.

You're falling back in, head laid on a broad chest. You can hear their heartbeat through their shirt. Strong and steady. Content. Their voice rumbles a melody, humming soft. Behind you is another chest pressed to your back. Their hand is tucked under your neck, soothing strokes to the base of your hair. Warm lips pressed to your forehead. Another pair falls on your soul mark.

When you wake up. You can't determine your own feelings at the reality of it. No one is pressed by your sides stroking your face and head like you wish. No one is pressing soft, delicate kisses to your forehead and neck. No one is humming to you. After you stretch and yawn, you're doing your morning routine. Humming the melody to yourself.

You crack eggs for breakfast. You tune turning more quiet as you focus on what you're doing. By the time you're done cooking it's 10. You don't have the appetite anymore, but you're obligated to eat something before your appointment. You eat what you can and get ready.

You're taking your time now. When you pull your socks on your finger strokes the infinity mark on your ankle, then each of your hands gently touch the shooting star and goldfish on your wrists. When you pull your clothes up past your thighs, you watch the branch get hidden, you watch It meet just over your hips. Fingerprints, the beautiful figure beneath your belly button, and the moon hide away. Then you pull your shirt over your shoulder. You eye the rose, glancing down at the blackhole on your collarbone. You cant see it but you can feel the pulse of the butterfly and the tiger on your back. You reach up to touch the back of your neck. The dragon shifts when you glide your finger over it. All of these intricate marks will be gone. Including your own. Your soulmates will feel the pain of loosing one of their own. You'll never meet them. Never talk to them. Never know the details about them.

What's gotten into you? Since when did you care?

Why do you care?

You're picking up your phone before you know it, you're breathing hard. Why are you breathing so hard? You take a few slow breaths. Your hands grip the phone tightly while you dial Soul Surge.

"I'd like to cancel my appointment."

The news hits the boys like a train. Wonwoo had not just single handedly refused to tell his soulmates about the woman, but mingyu had hid it too. Their other soulmate. "Why didn't you tell us this?" Seungkwan sighs. "Wait." Dokyeom interjected standing from the couch. "So that light was you two?" Dokyeom grabs wonwoos shoulders, shaking him. "I was right there! How does gyu know before I do?" Wonwoos face shows displeasure, many of the boys are about to intervene. Seungcheol pushes dokyeom back gently from wonwoos space. Kyeom can tell cheol is serious when he doesn't bat an eye at his outburst. He takes his seat next to Dino.

"Well," joshua buts in, he tucks a hand under his chin, his arm propped up on the counter. "Maybe she had her reasons to run." he can buy it himself. It's very possible. The room returns to silence. Cheol shifts from his feet, deep in thought. He stops short, leaning against the kitchen counter. "You two did connect, right?" Seungkwan asks before cheol can, and Wonwoo nods. woozi speaks up. "Then that means she and you will find your way to each other"

Letting the universe and soul connect doing its thing takes too long in mingyus opinion. Everyone decided so anyway. Mingyu was oddly the only one to object. At night, he thinks about it. What'd it be like to finally meet her. What kind of personality would she have? What her likes are. Does she like music? Does she know who they are? Is she a carat? His mind fogs at the number of questions. She's been running around his mind ever since wonwoo told him.

He finds himself restlessly trying to convince his members to step up so they can find her quicker. Maybe he's looking for someone to back him up. Mingyu can be personally driven. And maybe this is something he shouldn't be doing. He's out doing his own thing that day. He doesn't have any filming to do. So his hand reaches for his phone, turning his neck to the side and throwing up peace between his fingers. The fourteenth soul mark is on display. His phone audio shutters when he takes the photo.

Only five slides of him. A tight black tee with a low collar, he's perched on a ledge. One in a black tank in the gym, one of him drinking some type of drink. Mingyu. His name is in Hangul, on the side of the flimsy paper cup. His peace photo. Lastly, it is just a picture of the back of his neck. His head is turned. In every photo, the planet is in clear view. The majority of the time, he can't post pictures with the fourteenth soul mark. The company decided against it.

'It'll cause controversy to the public'

This time, he decides to break some company rules. " 🪐 " is the only thing in the caption.

It's the same day jiung drags you into town. "Girls trip!" She laughs so heartily, clinging to your arm at your front door. On her form is a yellow spring dress. And you're in a drop shoulder oversized tee, a pair of loose pants. She takes you to the most popular jewelry store on the strip, waiting in line. "Why are we here?" You ask, she doesn't tell you. "You'll know soon enough!'" She pouts playfully. And maybe she uses her pregnancy to get your spot in the store faster. You don't point it out.

A young lady tightens a metal of your choice to your right ankle, and the accents blend perfectly. Jiung gets a rose gold color on hers, baby blue accents that look perfect against her tan skin, and lastly, a single seashell pendant to match with her own soul mark. "You don't have to get the pendant," she tells you with a smile shuffling on her one foot as they tighten the bracelet to her. She knows you don't particularly take fond of your soul mark.

"No, I'll get the pendant," you smile back to reassure yourself. You watch now as the younger lady fastens the bracelet to your ankle. Zapping it into place. A permanent ankle bracelet is now tied to you. You're not upset at the decision.

"Thanks for coming with me, I didn't think you'd want to get one, though," jiung smiles, her eyes on her own ankle bracelet as she walks in her flip-flops. "Their designs were too pretty to pass up," you say, you both stop in front of another store on the strip. This one has a couple of cut-out boards on the outside. You don't recognize any of them except for j-hope of bts. It's chained down. You stare in surprise.

"People really steal those?" Jiung laughs like what you said is the funniest thing in the world. "I took the d.o one they had out a year ago," she reminisces. You stare in shock, jaw-dropping. "Jiung!" You scold, she pulls you into the store before you have anything else to say. Once you get over the initial shock of the store decorations, you're wandering around. A couple of albums catch your eyes. Your hand scans over the records.

Here and there are a few people. But it isn't crowded. A couple of young girls, no younger than high schoolers, scroll on their phones, taking pictures of the album section, the laugh boisterously. They switch off to take photos of each other with their newly bought albums. You make sure to stay out of their shots. Not far away, you're at the plush section with jiung. She talks to herself about which plush she wants. "Dwaekki or Quokka.." You zone out when the loud girls squeal.

"Oh! Mingyu just posted!" A confused 'huh?' Follows. Okay. Maybe you're curious yourself. You secretly eavesdrop into their quiet conversation, squeezing a plush you got from the shelf, its a wolf with only a shirt on, a content expression on its face. A notification peaks jiungs interest. It's a jingle pop. Her phone is in her right hand while the plush is in her left. She gasps. Your head whips around towards her, glancing over her shoulder at her screen.

There in bold reads; "SEVENTEEN 14TH SOUL MARK REVEALED!" followed by a collage of zoomed in photos of a guy, his hair is short but on the base of his neck is the planet.

Your planet. Your saturn. Glittered with galaxies behind him. When you go to double look, you can feel your neck crick in protest. Jiung calls your name. Shock on her face. She stares at your neck. Gosh. The one day you decide not to wear something that'll cover your neck AND you forgot your jacket. You slap your palm over your neck.

Your name is called again. Jiung has taken the plush from your hand, putting it back on the shelf. "Let's go," She says, so casually glancing behind you. You continue to stare, nothing coming from your throat. You follow her gaze. The two girls' heads shoot back down to one of the phones. "Doesn't it look like hers?" They whisper. Just your luck. "Ji, I-" she grabs your arm and marches to the front of the store, your head is downturned. This can't be real. How could all of this happen? How does-

The girls stop you. "It's you, isn't it!?" Their tone borderlines obsessive fangirls. "No, please move," jiung speaks for you, her arms hold you defensively by your shoulders. You're starting to regain your senses. The girls push your shoulder, acting playful "gosh I didn't know someone so ordinary would be one of their soulmates." The other girl pouts, "She doesn't look good enough for mingyu." her tongue clicks, both of them shove their hands over their arms.

Jiung goes to defend you. "Hey! Why are you two bothering customers?! This is the third time this month!" An older lady yells, she comes over with a book in hand. The girls look shocked, they bow their heads, and Apologize. Sneaking looks at you two that are heated. It's pretty forced. "ajumeoni! We're just talking!" "ajumeoni! Have you restocked the txt albums?" Their voices get high pitched. Shoulders bumping yours and jiung as they pass.

"Let's get you outta here," jiung sighs. She pulls you out the door.

You're in a state of shock.

Jiungs apartment is homely, fit for a family. Boxes pile upon each other. "Sorry it's messy, we're moving soon," she sulks, pushing a box with her foot. She takes a seat on her couch. Patting the spot next to her. You move from the hallway and sit. "Girl talk?" She suggests. "Or we can watch a movie. The twins are with youngwins' mothers. So I have until tomorrow off. " she shifts with her feet under her.

You don't think about it. "Girl talk," you sigh, staring into her dark eyes. When you explain everything. No, really. Everything to her. She takes it upon herself to rub your arm in a soothing gesture. "And.. then I canceled the appointment." You finished. She shifts to get closer to you. "Oh honey" she pats your hand.

"You are such a sad fool," she sighs. You pull your head up, looking at her. "Excuse me?" She stutters. "t-that came out wrong. What I meant was you're not giving it a chance to work out; I mean. I understand not being ready. I do. I don't know what you went through to have done all of that. And there's not a way to change the past. So you'll have to pull yourself out of this mess." She pats your hand again. "I recommend finding a way to talk to your soulmates, talk about it" you nod at her advice.

You exchange a few more sentences, and jiung is right in all cases and scenarios. "Everything will work out"

News spreads quickly in Seoul. You can't go outside much, and when you do, you always feel like someone is about to find out who you are. You usually grab your groceries as fast as you can. Always pulling at your shirt collar.

"Who are these guys again?" You ask on the phone, on your laptop, you're on naver searching up images. Jiungs kids can be heard giggling and fussing in the background. "They're seventeen. They're a 13 member boy group. You've heard of K-pop, right?" You say a simple 'uh-huh' "you know that song. Aju nice? It was pretty popular a few years back." "Nu-uh, nope," she sighs. "I was in America then," you respond casually. "America? Are you American?"

A notification pops up on your open browser. "BIGHIT Entertainment and PLEDIS Entertainment speak up about SEVENTEENS' 14th soul mark." Jiung speaks up for you. "Bighit and pledis are looking for their 14th soulmate," she mumbles through the speaker. "This could be your chance to talk to the company," she speaks your thoughts. You read the site briefly. "I think I'll email them." You nod like she can see it. Throughout the rest of your night, you fill out a detailed email, it takes you hours to come up with the right thing to say.

Everyone has given mingyu a piece of their mind and the silent treatment. But seungcheol? God. He's the quietest of them all. Mingyu is backstage, and many of the members stand around talking and / or getting their makeup retouched. He's not focused on anything particular, though. A frustrated sigh leaves his throat. He excuses himself from the makeup artist and walks over to cheol. Cheol stands tall, talking with jeonghan. His biceps flex against the stage outfit.

"Hyung" mingyu stops just shy of the two members. Jeonghan shoots a look at mingyu. One he knows says he's still upset at him. I mean, the whole reason they're not on strike right now is because this was pre-planned. Immediately, mingyus post was taken down by the company. His account is temporarily taken away. It's been more than a week. And now they're seeing if the public will let it slide under the rug.

Cheol parts from jeonghan who goes the other way. He stands face to face with mingyu. "I'm sorry," mingyu starts. he pauses. "That's it?" Cheol asks, folding his arms. "Mingyu, have you thought about what's going on?" Cheols' frustrated voice makes mingyu drop his head. "Yeah -" "You don't, though, Gyu. our soulmate is out there, and you know what wonwoo said. She ran away from him. It's possible she's not ready to see us. But we dont know unless she comes to us first." cheols voice turns more melancholic at the end.

Mingyus heart hurts, seeing him upset. He wants to reach out and hide away at the same time. "I'm sorry," he repeats himself. "I wasn't thinking," his voice grows quiet, the quietest he's ever been. Cheol can't help it when he reaches out and rubs his thumb on mingyus cheek. "I wanna see her too," he smiles sadly. Mingyu tilts his head into cheols palm. Wrapping his arms around him tightly. Cheol wraps his arm around him back. Ruffling his hair.

A man stands at your doorstep. Cloaked in normal everyday clothes, you would see on any stranger walking the street. "Hello?" He says your full name to your doorbell camera, leaning in too close. "Hello, this is she. Who are you?" You reply from your phone. You're at work at the moment. Your shift ends in less than 20 minutes. "Hello, I'm Song Jaeho with bighit and pledis entertainment. I have a few questions to ask you if that's alright. Do you happen to be home?"

Bighit-pledis ent..? You slap a hand over your mouth. Who told!? It wasn't jiung! Right!? No... she'd never. She respects your boundaries. Oh.. the girls. The two from that store! Oh wait. You sent an email.

Are you even ready for this?

"I.." You look at the time. 15 minutes. Screw it. "I'm not currently home, but I'm just about to get off work. It'll take less than five minutes," the man claps his hands, pulling back from the camera. "Great, I can wait in the lobby then"

"Eunha! I'm off. My parents had a medical emergency and need me to drive them," you clock out, praying no one notices your blatant lie. "Oh yeah, you go on! Tell them I said hello. " she's never met your parents. But is so kind anyway.

By the time you make it to your apartment lobby, you're just under 4 minutes. Mr. Song stands up and greets you. You bow your head back. "Hello," you smile politely. "Song jaeho." He shakes your hand. "I'm assuming you know why I am here," the hybe employee says. Crossing his hands together. "Is this possibly about my.." You point to the back of your ear. "Soul mark? Yes. Actually, it'd be much easier to talk somewhere more privately. Would you mind accompanying me for coffee?" You look around, and he's right. Many people come in and out of the building, and work for a good number of people is over.

The coffee shop is crowded for the afternoon. A good thing in your opinion, maybe you should have thought before following some strange man to a cafe you hardly know. You're lucky he caught you on a half day. You take the only available seats by the exit. The space is fairly far from the next person, so you'll be able to converse openly.

Once you order, jaeho gets down to business. He slides his card between you and folds his arms. "I am specifically the legal advisor for idols who are soulmates with non idols. I work for bighit and their departments. Now, to start off, I would like to first see your soul mark. It's a precaution, so we know you're -" You stop him there. Pushing your hair away and turning your head, you show him your soul mark. He sits up a bit to lean over, eyebrows furrowed. You scrub at it to prove your point. It doesn't flake or move. "It's genuine," you mumble. He sits back. "It seems so," he says skeptically.

"May I?" He points to your wrists. You sigh and lean your wrists out to him. "Go ahead, have at it," he turns and inspects the soul marks on your wrists closely. You watch the top of his thick hair while his glasses hang off the bridge of his flat nose. It's like he's trying to see if you're a real diamond.

"I apologize for the precautions. You can never be too safe." he lays the folder between you. Legal documents laid out perfectly. "What's this?" Song jaeho crosses his hands together, placing them on the table. He points to each sentence as he says them. "I'm assuming you know of the boys' status. They are celebrities, and we, as the company they are signed under, must take the proper precautions to prevent any harm coming to them. It's nothing personal. Strictly business." He smiles. It's not genuine.

"And you want me to sign this?" You stare. "Yes, I will guide you through all of what you'll be signing," he smiles again. Pulling each paper towards him. As he continues to explain. You get the feeling this is just an nda. You read whatever you can on your own, trying to catch any funny business if you can.

"Once I sign these, what will happen?" He pulls away and closes his folder. "Once you sign the paperwork, we'll be in contact shortly. If everything goes well, you should be able to meet all of them. There is no guarantee or specific date set in stone, though." You hum at that. Looking down at the stamped papers in your hands, you flip through each.

All that's stopping you is some paperwork. Yes, it's not as easy as you wish it was. But you can't run away again. And now, probably, is your last chance of meeting them.

"Could I use your pen?"

You're wringing your hands as you sit in a spacious room. It's been atleast two months since you've see song jaeho, you almost thought you had been scammed until he called and scheduled a meet up. You feel foolish when you say that. 'Meet up'. It's like this moment doesn't determine your future. Set in stone. You couldn't even pick what to wear. Should you have gone in your favorite outfit? Something modest? Sophisticated? Sexy? God, you're going crazy.

You place your head down on the arm of the couch. Sighing into it. Your nerves are shocked. You've got to get a hold of yourself. You take a few deep breaths. You smooth out your clothing, making sure it's pristine. You're lifting your head up to scan the room, it's a giant comfortable room, almost like a living room. It seems homely, it must be a place where the boys rest before makeup. You've caught up on the lore of kpop, thanks to jiung, and figured the rest out yourself, possibly through a series of videos.

Truly, you're trying not to run away. But song jaeho already knows where you live, and you need to get meeting them over with. What's your plan? What are you even doing here?

The door opens abruptly. For some reason, you shoot up. Three men step in first. You only recognize Jaeho. You can hear the footsteps echoing down the hallway. It's a wide amount of them.

You feel your heart thump in beat. It rings loudly in your ears. You want to hide. To run from the center of the room. Anything to get every eye off you. Your lips purse. You lick them gently. Suddenly feeling your mouth dry.

The shoes echos as they stop just outside the open door. You can make out some harsh whispering. Your eyebrows furrowed.

Maybe they're just as nervous as you are. The thought makes your lip quirk. "Get in there!" A louder whisper cuts through. Your lip quirks into a smile. What were you getting yourself into?

One by one, models pass through the door. Why are there mod- it's like your heart leaps. You laugh internally. These guys.. these guys are Seventeen.

You can distinguish every one of them. Features you're fond of, already memorized. There's something so familiar about them. You can't put your finger on it.

Your hands squeeze by your side. Glancing from each guy to the four older men in suits. Each of the suited men talk to each other. "Take a seat, please," one of them breaks off from the secretive circle they had formed.

You plop yourself back down onto the couch, almost falling over from the cushioning. You smile to hide your embarrassment. There's only one other couch, and each guy attempts to fit on it. The shortest of them all takes the single armchair, smiling smugly as a much taller one complains about not having room. "I got here first," he says.

Your lips quirk up into a smile, and you bite your laugh down. The taller guy looks to you, a challenged smile on his face. You stare back with a small, a knowing look that definitely says 'yeah i laughed. What're you gonna do about it?'. He takes his place next to you. Plopping his full weight down. You almost fly forward into him. He grins from ear to ear. When you pull away and he scoots to the edge of the couch to give you some space, you find yourself smiling inwardly.

It's no surprise that all of the guys didn't fit on the couch. Two of them noticed this guy taking a seat next to you, yet playfully rush to take the spot on your left. The guy with hamster like features beats the much taller, otter looking one.

He smiles in victory, and you watch the guy pout and walk away. For a split second, your eyes catch each other, you smile, face scrunching. A tiny laugh erupts from you. He grins from ear to ear. He's not so upset he didn't win the spot anymore. He stands behind the adjacent couch with his arms resting on the top of it.

A shoulder bumps yours. It's from the hamster looking guy. He pouts, and you smile, bumping your shoulder back at his. His pout lifts despite him trying not to. His lips curve upwards.

Finally, once everyone is settled down into their spots. Two of the men in suits step forward.

"On behalf of Bighit and Pledis Entertainment, I will be representing seventeen." The other one speaks up. "And I will be representing Ms -" he says your full name.

You sigh, more legal work?

"If this is about more legal signing, I have already signed everything with Mr. Song Jaeho" You gesture to jaeho, who stands off to your left. The men in suits looked puzzled. Jaeho nods. "If that's the case, we can just begin introductions." The fourth guy says, clapping his hands together.

One by one, you learn the names of each guy. You make sure to memorize it perfectly. Some of them are even foreigners, you really wonder how they all met. They seem to have the closest bond, apparently they've known each other for years.

You've got a lot to catch up on.

Soonyoung and Mingyu are the two that sit with you. Soonyoung on your left and Mingyu on your right. The one who took the chair is Jihoon. From left to right, Jeonghan, Seungcheol, Joshua, and Vernon take the couch across from you. Sitting on the arms are Seokmin and Wonwoo. leaning against the back of the couch is Seungkwan, Junhui, Minghao, and lastly, Chan. The one who lost the race.

"Tomorrow, we're shooting for a video," seungcheol speaks up over the growing silence. "You could come if you want," he nods. Everyone waits with bated breaths.

"I'd love to," you grin.

[thestrangesthell]

Afterlife Jobs and Civil Service

Seen a few theories and "plot hole" accusations flying around after Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and thought I'd add my own hypothesis on what the deal is with jobs in the afterlife.

This will contain spoilers for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.

TW: This post will discuss suicide. Please only proceed if you are comfortable.

The short version: I think (for the most part) jobs are a choice and available to those who need to hang around due to unfinished business (even if they themselves don't know what that is). I think those who commit suicide do have to work for some time as it wasn't their time to die yet. They can't just board the soul train and move on to better plains. Instead, (and though rather sour in the mouth), they're met with the shock that it isn't over. This is Beetlejuice, after all. Death and life is hard.

Now, for the long version (and it really is long), read on!

Despite the fact I do personally think it's canon that those who commit suicide end up having to work (at least for a while) in the afterlife, we can't believe that purely because Otho said so. Firstly, the guy is living, pompous and has zero evidence for that statement. Secondly, he's not a credible source. He may have been "one of New York City's leading paranormal researchers until the bottom dropped out in '72," but his interest in anything can be boiled down to obsession with image and aesthetic more than a desire to get into the nitty gritty.

What we as the audience do see is people working in the afterlife that could have died by suicide.

There's the Road Kill man ("Thanks, I've been feeling a little flat!"), Juno (*who I will come back to) and most obviously, Miss Argentina. These people are working and likely (if not outright confirmed) died by suicide.

It's a weird thing to pick up on, but what about the skeleton workers?

Besides being a great visual gag, there's not really a clear indication of death by suicide here. We could, of course, suggest they died this way and have since been "worked to the bone" - as this is the Beetlejuice franchise after all, and lord knows pun-based humour is...well, pun-damental - but no other ghosts seem to have permanent alterations to their state. In the Beetlejuice universe, once you're dead, you're stuck that way. (Unless you get your soul sucked that is).

Well, that clears things up, right?

Maybe not.

For a long time, a lot of us in the fandom accepted the whole "in the afterlife they become civil servants" thing because, well, that was what we were told. But with the recent instalment of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice this is now dubious.

Why?

Betelgeuse himself.

Betelgeuse was largely assumed by many to have died by suicide. Various headcanons over the years include strangulation, hanging, poison, drowning, electrocuting himself - the list truly goes on. part of his charm is the mystery. But with the sequel, it is suggested that he died by poison from another. Delores.

Why is this an issue?

Well, if Betelgeuse didn't commit suicide, why was he Juno's assistant?

I have two theories for that.

Firstly, in line with this entire post - he died after Delores poisoned him and then chose to work up from the bottom to become Juno's assistant. He claims himself that his heart was pretty much blackened before he met Delores, so what's to stop him from wanting to take over in the afterlife after finding himself there ahead of his time? He probably feels robbed of life and hella opportunistic. It would support the theory of unfinished business and explain the random jobs we see him doing in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. From Guide to working Immigration, man's got one hell of a resume.

Then there's my second theory, which muddies the waters quite a bit.

We didn't actually see him die after he was poisoned.

I'll let that fester for a bit...

Ready to move on?

Let's talk about *Juno!

Juno, my beloved.

Despite recent questions surrounding her cause of death, I do personally feel the cut on Juno's throat was self-imposed. The issue fans have with how deep the cut is can be answered fairly reasonable. This is more practical rather than an effort for believability. Beetlejuice is high camp and smoke pouring from the throat of a ghost only adds to its ridiculousness. Plus, it helps back up my theory that those who commit suicide are required to do some type of work in the afterlife to make up for their shortened time on earth.

The reason I believe this is that Juno seems to really hate her job - or at least hate the crap that comes with it. If she had chosen to be a caseworker, (or been given a job similar to what she did when living), we'd perhaps see her be a little more understanding to everything that was going on. Instead, she's burdened by her paperwork, sick of having to deal with issues from baby ghosts and their "routine hauntings," and the poor woman is constantly haunted by the knowledge that Betelgeuse is out there.

(While we don't know their history, we do know that Betelgeuse ended up with a bit of a liking for Bio-exorcisms. I don't think she believes him evil any more than she considers him a nuisance, so we can only assume he got caught up in trouble that threatened Juno's line of work, leading to him getting fired.)

The real reason I can suggest that jobs are largely a choice are the recent additions to the Beetlejuice universe. I'm talking about Richard, Wolf Jackson, the Shrinkers, the Janitor and all of Wolf Jackson's squad, (plus a handful of others). They all have jobs, with some having more legitimate jobs than others.

This is where my theory really comes into play.

I think all of the above characters (possible with the exception of the Shrinkers) chose their jobs. Why? They have unfinished business - just as Barbara and Adam had unfinished business in Beetlejuice.

(Of course "they found a loophole and moved on" but this is more-so to explain their necessary absence in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. From a lore perspective, they could very well still be haunting the house for another 89 years. I (like many others now) believe the loophole was unfinished business. They had the family (Lydia) that they wanted all along and when she moved on with her life, they felt complete. Next stop: The Soul Train and The Great Beyond.)

When looking at these new characters, here's what I theorise for each of them:

Richard - Unfinished business: a family reunion. Richard died in the Amazon, away from Astrid and likely didn't get a proper goodbye. After saving her, thus seeing her once more, he could move on. It's possible too that he's not going to move on after Beetlejuice Beetlejuice due to waiting on more family to see again. But we don't know that, so I'll keep it short.

Wolf Jackson - Unfinished business: "keeping it real." Wolf Jackson seems slightly in denial about his situation. Janet has to continuously remind him that he in an actor because he gets too into the bit he's currently doing. I think the man gets completely convinced he is a spy/detective/investigator/whatever it is he is hyper-fixated on becoming. He's method, dedicated to his craft and won't move on until he feels he has fulfilled every cast-type possible for his range. He's gunning for a Gross-cer.

Wolf Jackson's squad (including Janet) - Unfinished business: supporting cast. Judging by how useless they all are, I'd hedge bets that they are actors too, waiting for their "big break" or recognition to feel satisfied with life (or death). In the Toonverse, celebrities are canon. If these universes are more aligned than previously thought, this could be a possibility.

The Shrinkers - Unfinished business: think big. These poor sods got on the wrong side of a witch doctor (although I really do think a certain B-man is to blame for this). We saw what happened when the portal to the living world opened. Those suckers saw a bid for freedom and went for it. I'd wager that they're somewhat forced to work for Betelgeuse. Maybe he's promised them 'head' (not that kind) if they do his dirty work. After all, he got his head back to normal size. Who's to say he hasn't promised them the same if they work for him? (Let's hope they read the fine print in that contract).

The Janitor - Unfinished business: a taste for revenge. To be honest, I think this guy either died by suicide or totally on accident. Either way, it was from ingesting something toxic. He's got a hankering for bleach and chemicals, who's to say this was just in death? I think he was content working in the afterlife, consuming these deadly toxins with zero repercussions.

Much of the same can be said for the Dry Cleaner. People need their clothes cleaned, he was good at it in life. Why not carry on if you're not ready to go?

Speaking of ready to go...

All aboard The Soul Train!

Another key point in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is that (aside from Astrid, who was semi-forced to board), The Soul Train is something you board when you're ready to depart. Maybe some people are forced here and there, as there are guards stationed, but we are also reassured that Hell is an option for those who do truly fucked up shit.

(It's worth noting also that The Soul Train has other stops. The Pearly Gates, Elysium and another stop (my memory fails), all of which were DELAYED. Time works differently in the afterlife; maybe some people get jobs because the wait is truly an eternity.)

WOW, you made far! Congratulations for enduring my ramblings, here's a beetle for your trouble 🪲

After all that, here's what we do know:

If you died within a certain radius of your home, you're left to haunt it for 125 years.

If you died by suicide (and if Otho is correct), you have to work for an unspecified amount of time as a civil servant in the afterlife.

If you died via a horrific accident (Wolf Jackson, Janet and Richard), jobs are there for you and you don't even need the credentials to back up your experience.

You cannot leave the afterlife unless you are confirmed "dead dead", board the soul train, attempt to swap souls with a living person or get sent to Hell.

In summary:

Jobs are available in the afterlife. There's no expectation to "work" but there's not much else to do. If you're not ready to leave the afterlife, (perhaps you're still processing death, waiting for loved ones to meet you on the other side or even enjoying the weird and wonderful atmosphere), why not get a job?

Well...unless you're forced into one by a horny poltergeist. But that's a whole other post.

But hey, what do I know? I'm only living.

[timidpumpkin]

Little Light (Stucky x reader)

Part 1: Found

Pairing: Dark!Stucky x f!reader

Summary: The first time you met Steve--or--the first time Steve found you.

Warnings for this part: Dark!Stucky, Female reader, Stalking, Reader has anxiety, Reader cries, Allusions that reader is a little, Allusions to kidnapping.

Warnings for future parts: Ddlg, Daddy!Stucky, Kidnapping, Forced age regression, Slapping, Anxiety, Panic attack, Slight dubcon, Stockholm Syndrome. (Will add more as needed)

Let me know if I missed any!!

Word count: 2.6k

Notes: Reader is in their 20s. There will be a few more parts to this as well as future writings within this universe! :) hehe. This is my first time ever posting a fic...please be kind...I am sensitive. Minors and ageless blogs DNI or I WILL block you.

It’s chilly. 

The night is abnormally quiet. Your ears have to adapt to the lack of sound. Bugs and frogs are no longer sounding off to the moon. The draft that bites its way up your nose is dry. It’s the first few indications that the trees will transform, stripping their colorful shields to brace themselves for the biting weather that's to come.

You huffed your way into your familiar abode, wishing it wasn’t so late. For the past, well, who knows how long, you had been working prolonged hours that certainly weren’t supposed to be a part of your daily work life. Nevertheless, it was, and you were tired–no, exhausted. 

Your head and stomach oh so kindly reminded you that it was in need of food, but when you make your way into the kitchen, nothing seems appetizing. Well, that wasn't exactly true. The truth was the idea of spending what little time you had left in the day making something that would only add the dishes, another chore, was dispiriting, to say the least.

So instead of meeting your basic needs, you were met with wet eyes that almost lull you into slumber. But before you're taken over by sleep, as you lay on your couch, your mind drifts to a time when things weren't as…hard.

Several months ago, or perhaps even close to a year when you think about it, you were in Washington DC. It was an academic trip, the last one for your last year. Of course, throughout your schooling, you had plenty of assignments to keep you occupied. Yet, trips like these made it much more than bearable–it was fun. Most of your time was spent exploring countless museums and exhibits tailored to define the world you lived in. Elation saturated your spirit as you and your closest friend, MJ, absorbed the new environment. 

Perhaps though, one of the most memorable parts of your trip was when you two snuck out late one night to grab a bite to eat. Your mischievous selves couldn't seem to be bothered by the fact that the city could be known for its more…eventful crime life.

The streets weren't nearly as crowded at this time of night. Still, the warm street lights and richly colored signs decorating local establishments left the perfect amount of people to create a steady hum of activity. After going back and forth between several different food options, you eventually found yourselves on a bench to eat your taco score of the night. You mumbled to each other through full mouths declaring over and over again how delicious it was and made plans to find something sweet afterward. You hummed in satisfaction when the urge hit you. 

You had to pee. Great. 

Where on earth could you find a decent bathroom around here?

“I’m gonna try to find a restroom,” you said, wiping food debris from your pants and standing from your seated position.

“Ha, good luck,” MJ jeered at you, mouth half full. “I’ll be here enjoying this then” she motioned to your leftovers.

“Yeah yeah,” you scanned around you before figuring a direction to try your luck at. “Well, I’ll be back soon if I don’t find anything.”

“Hey wait!” she blurted before you could take off too far. “Don't forget this,” you turn to see an outstretched hand holding your phone. “If you get kidnapped or something I'll need some way to find you,” she teased. “You know, so I don't get in trouble if you do.”

“How very thoughtful of you.” you rolled your eyes playfully taking it from her.

You roam around, one street to another until you finally happen by a small sandwich shop that, mercifully, lets you use their restroom. Once you depart from its doors, you realize you're not really sure where you are. At all. Every street and building looks like the other one and after walking for a bit, you’re pretty sure you’ve gone the wrong way. Where you find yourself now is darker. Few lights illuminate the path ahead, and you can’t shake the strange feeling that you’re being watched–despite not seeing a single soul. You can’t help but check behind you every so often, looking backwards over and over again until you're not even really looking forward at all anymore.

And that when your body hits it. Something hard stops your momentum completely and wobbles you off balance until you feel gentle but firm hands steadying your swaying form. You can’t help the gasp that escapes your throat. 

“Woah there,” the solid figure holding you speaks. You blink up at the deep voice. It’s a man. A large man. His grip eases off you and he holds his hands up, open-palmed. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” he appealed, a reassuring smile on his face. 

“Oh it’s-that's alright,” you try to regain your composure as you back up a step, making space between you and the stranger. “I suppose I should have looked where I was going” you breathed, trying not to sound so startled. “Sorry.” you posture yourself up finally getting a good look at the man in front of you. You can’t help but stare at him for–probably more than a few–awkward moments as you start to recognize his face. It’s one you saw only hours ago during your Smithsonian visit, specifically, the Captain America exhibit. Yep–you’re pretty sure that man looking back at you is Steve Rogers. 

Except, he looks different from the pictures and videos you’ve seen. He’s sporting a beard, and he really does look even bigger than you expected. Even with a few good feet between you, you still have to look up to him. And he’s looking at you too. Luckily, he breaks the silence, likely noticing your gob-smacked face. 

“Are you,” he looked you up and down quickly, assessing you. “lost?” he meets your eyes.

“Oh-uh-, no no, I’m-” you didn’t want to seem helpless, but when he raises his eyebrow at you, you quickly cave. “well yeah actually…I was trying to find my friend. I left her on a bench…somewhere.” you say looking around pointlessly, as if she’d somehow appear before you.

“Well,” he takes a tiny step towards you. “I’m sure I could help with that” he grins confidently at you. 

“Oh that’s okay,” you start. “I mean I don’t want to impose or anything.” You’re sure he has more important things on his agenda than to help some random girl find her friend. You felt like some lost kid looking for their parent in the grocery store.

“Not at all,” he says definitively. “come on.” He gestures for you to follow his lead. He asks you what you remembered about your surroundings when you left MJ. He seems to recognize the place you’re talking about immediately and starts guiding the way. On the walk there, you talk. Well–he talks, mostly. It’s not that you necessarily felt nervous in his presence. Rather, it just wasn't uncommon for you to be at a loss for words, especially with new people. The truth of the matter was, you just didn’t know what to say, it was often difficult for you in that way. In the way that you only felt comfortable around someone after a decent amount of time of knowing them. Regardless, what was uncommon was how comfortable you felt talking to him-or well-answering him when he spoke to you.

“You really should be more careful walking around alone like that.” he said, seriousness lacing his tone.

“Yeah,” you laugh guiltily, “after all, you never know what kinds of people you’ll run into.” you jab at him playfully and he gives you a laugh in return. He asks if you're new to the area, and you explain your presence as a result of a field trip. You tell him simple things, like what you study, and how you’re almost finished with school.

“You know what you want to do after you graduate?” he probes. You wish he hadn’t. You hated that question more than anything, and now it was coming from him. Nevertheless, you felt you could be honest. 

“I’m…not really sure” you look downwards, self-conscious of your answer.

“Hmm, I know what that’s like.” you peer up at him in disbelief. Sure, you didn’t know him at all really, but still, you couldn't help the short judgment that told you that wasn’t true.

“Really?”

“I know, I know” he chuckles, “hard to believe, right?” he glances at you, smirking as you continue to walk. “but it’s true. Maybe not exactly like your situation but…” he purses his lips “I know what it’s like to feel uncertain about your path.” You're slightly taken aback by his honesty, and it comforts you to know someone like him could feel the same doubts as you. 

Well, of course, you think. He is just a normal person–okay, superperson–after all. A person like any other. 

One with feelings, wants, and needs. 

You hum. “Did you ever figure it out?” he cocks his head at you. “You know, whatever you were unsure about?” he ceases his stroll and your legs automatically mimic his as you stand to face each other. Even at a respectable distance, he towers over you. It’s not just his height though, rather, his entire being, his build, is enormous. 

“I think I did,” he smiles at you “yeah,” you smile back and for the second time tonight, you’re staring, but again, he breaks the silence. “Is that your friend?” you turn to see MJ still seated where you left her looking as nonchalant as usual. You give Steve an affirmation and begin making your way to her. As you get closer you make out what appears to be a cup of ice cream in her hands.

“There you are. I’ve been worried sick.” she explains, taking in a spoonful. 

“I can tell.” you quip. 

“Was too! You never answered my texts” she wiggles her phone in front of you for emphasis. You don’t remember getting any texts. Then again, maybe you were too distracted to notice them.

“Oh, well, sorry, I kind of got lost. Luckily I ran into-” you look behind you wanting to show your friend who helped bring you here, only to see an empty street. Your brows furrow. 

“Ran into…” she peers in the direction you’re looking towards.

“Someone that helped,” you mumble mostly to yourself. She gives you a confused look. “I-I’ll explain when we get back to the room.” and you do.

You tell her about how he startled you at first but was quick to offer help. “Of course he’d offer to help, he’s a superhero.” MJ remarks during your retelling. She listens as you describe how easy it felt to converse with him, and how you wished you had only thanked him properly for helping you. Realistically, you’re not sure what would have happened had you not run into him–literally. 

That memory wasn’t one you thought of too often, to tell the truth, but it was one that reminded you of a simpler time. Yet, even then you remember being tired. Only now did it seem to catch up with you how much you had to do. It made even the simplest tasks feel like too much. You longed for a time when you didn’t have so much…responsibility. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

That night may have been the last time you saw Steve, but it certainly wasn’t the last time he saw you. 

He watched you that night, long before you even ran into him. He had been there for some mission, the importance of which he couldn’t remember. What he did remember though–your laugh. It chimed over the noise of the city around him, guiding him to your form where he was met with bright smiles as you giggled at something your friend said. There was something about you that drew him to you, and as the night went on, that something only grew stronger. He watched as you joked with your friend. He noticed your attentiveness to her, and those around you. How kind you were to anyone you interacted with, and how…silly you were for leaving your friend to go off by yourself. He knew then he had to keep watching, to make sure you remained safe. 

He was elated when you took that turn into the dark and empty street. It was the perfect opportunity to hear your voice–up close. 

And oh–how sweet you sounded.

Like how one would imagine a doe-eyed deer would sound. He reveled in how timid you were around him. How hard you tried to be courteous, mouth moving to form words, only for your lips to shut themselves. He truly thought it was adorable how you couldn't really look him in the eye, and when you did, you’d look away, often, with a bashful look.

Steve did see something in you that night–something he was missing. Once he realized it so, and dropped you off with your best friend, he knew he had to find his–Bucky.

Truthfully, he was more than just his best friend. They had been through so much, both together and separate. Both were thrown into treacherous waters more than once, living in unpredictable conditions, and exposed to the most atrocious of people. Though still, they had each other long before any of that. A friendship–a relationship–that knew no bounds–whether it be of time or situation. 

Steve knew Bucky would understand his fascination with you. They both had a lucid awareness of the wretched world they lived in. It wasn’t always that way, but time had proven it so over and over again. They could always rely on each other when everyone else seemed content with being against them. They knew the world still needed help, and they gave it, when and where they needed to. But nevertheless, in their eyes, everything was still tainted with darkness.

Except you. 

Over months, they observed you, studying you like there would be a test over every aspect of your being. Bucky thought you were even better than Steve had described. Beautiful, softhearted, and sweet. Yes, you truly were sweet. But in a way, too much so. He saw how nasty some people could be to you, only for you to return them with kind eyes and meek responses. He hated it. He adored you, and as time went on, it soon became clear that he didn’t want anyone to treat you in such a way.

They saw you working yourself to depletion every day. How you’d let dishes and laundry pile up. How poorly you ate, and how…clumsy you could be. Tripping over nothing after a long day, injuring yourself when actually attempting to make a meal. They knew what they needed to do. They knew what you needed. 

You needed them.

You needed them to take care of you.

Steve couldn’t bear to see you suffer like this, and Bucky knew they were the only people who could truly keep you shielded from the cold world around them. They would be your warmth, and you would be their little light. 

Yes, they could tell you needed them.

They could tell when you failed to do the simplest of things. 

They could tell when, every night, you’d grip your favorite stuffed animal in your arms.

They could tell when you were sure all the lights were out, your thumb would slowly slip its way behind your lips before you drifted to sleep.

Timing was everything. They had only been waiting for the perfect moment when everything was ready–including you. So when they saw you this night, curled up, tears staining the fabric beneath you as you fell asleep with an empty stomach, they knew it was the perfect time. 

[obsidiancreates]

OBSESSING over the concept of the DHMIS guys having been real people (I mean not real people as in Humans but real people as in Still Puppets But Living Actually Normal Lives) before they got like, suddenly snatched by some Being into their little world, and their families have been searching for them for years. And one day they manage to free them! All of a sudden Red Guy and Duck and Yellow Guy have names and personal histories and time is passing in a linear fashion and they don't know how to handle it.

They don't remember any of it. These people are strangers to them. This world is a strange one.

Red Guy has a brother and sister who now have to take care of him, because he can't seem to adapt back to his old life. He used to have a real job and his own apartment and a very average life, and now he gets anxious when he's home too long, but also when he's out too long, and he gets anxious when the day passes without someone singing something but he gets anxious when the singing goes on too long. I also think it'd be fun if he's a more vibrant shade of red than he used to be. His siblings are younger and they tell him about who he used to be and he can't connect with any of it.

Yellow Guy lives with his mom and older brother. His older brother is older by quite a few years, old enough to kind of stand in as a dad since their dad is gone (it's not Roy, his mother never knew any Roys). He used to be a bright kid, maybe not the smartest ever, but he wasn't... like this. They keep having to intervene because he has no concept of Permanent Consequence anymore. He doesn't seem to understand Injury anymore. "But it'll go away," he says when his mother takes a knife away from him after he was running around with it. "Everything goes away. ... Mummy, where are my friends?"

Duck had a partner, apparently, and a niece. His sibling doesn't visit often, but his niece does. She says it makes her parent too upset to see him when he doesn't remember them. He says they need to get over it, who can remember things that happened before today anyway? But suddenly he can, and he starts having a hard time with it. "It's too much remembering!" he squawks. "How am I meant to keep track of it all if every day I know what happened before I went to sleep?!"

And all three keep asking about each other.

"Where're the other two?" Red Guy (he never remembers his name, and usually doesn't respond to it, and the same can be said of Duck and Yellow Guy) asks one say. "The smallest one usually sits somewhere around there, and uh, the other one, right about there. Where've they gone?"

"I miss my friends," Yellow Guy whines one day. "He told me about the military, and-and I miss that. And he's supposed to sit right there, and-and the tallest one is supposed to sit there! Did they leave me alone?"

"At least the other two weren't so dull," Duck grunts one day while doing a crossword (well, trying to, and struggling with such easy hints that it makes his partner feel sick). "Even when they tried to be. What? No, I don't know any specific stories. What a strange thing to ask someone."

The families do decide to chance a supervised meeting of the three a few months after getting them back.

The shift is strange. Red Guy is less anxious, but also more irritable. Yellow Guy is happier, but more afraid. Duck is content but more demanding. And they all sit there, acting so comfortable and yet so... strange. Like they're just... waiting. Biding time for something. The whole room feels still, stifled, and their families find themselves feeling the anxiety and confusion and irritation that the three usual display.

When all three are together there's just this.... uncanniness, to the air. The colors are brighter, in a way that hurts the eyes. The silence is thicker, and the sounds that cut through are sharper. Everything feels poised to collapse, a choking and stifling feeling that makes their families dizzy. And they sit in it and seem more comfortable than they've been since their rescue, if not for the way they keep checking around the room in almost grim expectation.

But nothing comes. So their families finally say it's time to go again.

"But we're not supposed to split up," Yellow Guy pleads.

"Stuff usually goes a bit off when we do that," Red Guy says flatly, but there's an undercurrent of stress to it.

"We'll be perfectly fine right here, thank you," Duck says stiffly. "We don't even know you freaks."

But at the same time they let themselves be dragged off like they have no other choice, no ability to fight back, until they're all back at their own homes with promises that they'll see the others again sometime.

One day the phone rings in Duck's house and he goes still. He walks towards it slowly, and picks it up with shaky hands. It's Red Guy, his partner (if they're really his partner anymore, they still love him and want him to get better but it's clear the person they were in a relationship with may never return) deduces from the muffled voice. It's shaky, and Duck's reply is shaky too.

"Is this real?" they hear Red Guy's voice say through the phone.

"I don't know," Duck says back. "It always feels like it is."

Maybe getting them out of there wasn't enough. Maybe their missing family brought some of that strange place back with them. Maybe they left something behind.

And no matter what kind of day it is, if it's a mild day with few episodes or a day full of confusion and panic, there's one very strong constant. When something happen that spikes their fear, when something makes them frightened or just simply uneasy, there's one form of comfort they always refuse.

Don't hug them. They're scared.

[i-am-electric]

I saw StEx London 2024 and I have opinions

Putting read more in case people have yet to see it themselves.

First of all, the cast went above and beyond to make this show what it is, and they have been absolutely amazing. This is their professional debut for quite a few of the cast so they deserve all the love and respect. 👏👏

To start off, the costume designs are mixed. It was going for a sci-fi futuristic style (the backgrounds had planets with train tracks for rings, really cute) Rusty, Pearl, Dinah, GB and the coaches fit really well. Electra and their entourage felt.... very bland and samey?? Electra's shades at the start were iconic and them handing it to Pearl was great but we never see it again? ????

I miss the Freight gang and CB. Freight song is now shorter because of the change. I guess Webber wanted to have a more modern take with an "environmental message" making Slick (Oil Freight) the CB, wanting money to stop Rusty. "Wide Smile, High Style" is there, had a slight lyric change, but she takes responsibility for the River Kwai incident. She even took some of Flat Top's lines (e.g. "Oil Oil Oil!").

Hydra(gen) replaces Dustin. I was a bit hesitant at first, but he grew on me and became a new fav character. He's fun, brings a new use for Rusty to help make steam with his number, and I need more of him in my life. 🥺

Changing Nationals to colours (hi Green Arrow from DC Comics) was an obvious choice as they don't want to cause stereotyping/appropriation (specifically Japanese engine), but I saw more personality with Nationals.... (I mean, why did I make a Welsh Engine OC??)

Right Place Right Time is gone. We went straight to "Guess they're right" and I Am The Starlight after the crash and beat Rusty up sequence. Not really surprised they made this change.

Control is physically on stage now (played by a child, my show was a girl and she was great!!), interacts with the characters and they respect Control more (no more shut it!).

With all these changes in mind, it has similar beats to the current Bochum production. So there will be familiarity to those who have watched previous renditions.

Personally, I had fun. The cast were great, and I'm fucking lucky to see a production of the show in my country. I'm most likely going to see it again either later this year or early next year. If you get the chance, go see it. I know this version won't satisfy some, but at least Bochum's has theirs (for now...)

I can finally cross it off my list, now to see Bochum asap.

[presleyluvschris]

Hey babes got another request Well, it’s is more of an idea with JJ inspired by the song “up there down here by Jake Owen” feel free to do with this whatever you want 🤍🤍🤍

free falling - J.M.

pairing(s): jj x christian!fem!reader

a/n thank you for this baby

summary reader is scared about going full pouge due to her strict religious family but caves in after a date where jj shows her what she was missing.

word count 1.5k

warning(s) swearing, grammar

your mother comes storming into your room, slamming the door open which combusts against your fragile thin walls.

"Y/N." she groans and tries not to loose her patience. "What did i tell you about john b?"

you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, knowing you would be flipped upside the head if you dared.

"you know? that guy who's always wearing flimsy shirts like a complete fool?"

she gives you a cold stare, her eyebrows on the ceiling and her eyes popping out like she was furiated.

"why is he in our driveway with that rusty ass old worn-down no good van?"

she immediately squeals and covers her mouth with her hand that was painted with red nails and an engagement ring.

she sighs and mutters under her breath to be forgiven but all you do is roll your eyes, (without her seeing of course) and storm past her and down the driveway, your mother scrambling for you, screaming and yelling for you to come back but you had made up your mind.

you had just recently become friends with the pogues, hanging out then and there as it seemed the bond kept growing by day, but you were scared of getting attached because of your family and how the felt about the pogues.

it had become a daily topic at dinner table conversations and it had started to annoy you after a few surf trips with those certain ian hated people.

you wondered if it was just easy for them to say just because they were rich assholes, and your new friends made you realize that over these few weeks.

they weren't really religious. You felt that at times they used it as a cover-up, or some kind of crutch to hide themselves and make them look perfect. and thats what your family image had always held the standard for. They didn't want you to be truthfully happy, whether it was with the pogues or not. They wanted you to be perfect.

you were naturally drawn to them, especially the blonde one who had sneaked into your window late at night when you knew the alarm in the house hadn't been set.

they taught you how to have fun. JJ, taught you how to live, be loose, go with the flow like the waves would. Something you had never experienced before due to the strict brick-and-border lifestyle you had obtained since you were three years old.

part of you felt guilty for being such a rebel since you were taught to always sit straight, but it felt good. it felt good to not have to constantly worry about every action you took.

as you scurried down the stairs you laugh at john b who honked the horn and gestured for you to get in.

"were going to the beach, theres a bikini in the back that kie dropped off for you, don't worry."

you were only excited for one thing. to see your favorite blonde boy again.

john b caught onto the energy and rolled his eyes, "the shithead will be there too, don't worry."

you gelt yourself blush at the comment but the both of you knew that was all that you were worrying about.

the engine starts as john b pulls out of your driveway, you didn't even look at your mom beating on the window.

as the van makes it's way down the road, you tilt your wrist out rhe window and make a wave gesture with your hand, making john b chuckle a little.

"so, you going to live life outside the bubble wrap yet?"

you groan and shift your head on the back of the seat. "I dont know! My parents are being total asses about it." you cover your face with your palms.

you slightly flinch at your words, you were already under the influence. you couldn't help it.

he gives you a look, "y/n, all the pogues have either went against their parents, or went to their funeral."

he looks back at the road and turns on another street.

"besides, do you really want to live your life for your parents?" he makes a raspberry with his lips.

"not on our watch. you deserve more than that." he raises his eyebrows and tilts his head slightly, "we'll show you."

he stops the van on the sand and turns the engine off before getting out and shutting his side of the door closed.

you huff and squint your eyes at the coastline ahead and maneuver yourself out of the twinkie, following john b out and onto the beach where all your friends were sitting by the fire and downing beers, except for pope of course.

"hey, guys." your lips curl into a laugh.

JJ spots you in the bikini and looks at his shoes before you take a seat next to him.

"hey princess," he faces his head away to hand you a beer from the cooler, "how'd getting out go?"

you shrug, "mom nearly killed me but here we are." you take a sip of the beer and place it in the sand.

his lips go into a downward position and he nods, finishing the rest of his drink.

"what do you think would happen if i ran away?" you press your lips together.

JJ nearly spits out his drink, "what?! why? for what?"

you put a small smile on your face and loosen up your shoulders, "i dunno i just kinda like you guys." you bite your lower lip, "i feel like if i don't get out now then i never will."

he looks you up and down, "not bad, newbie."

you laugh a little while the pogues continue to talk about surf plans.

"you wanna go somewhere?"

you hum a little, "where you have in mind?"

"ahhh, i dont know," he cocks his head, "private, maybe."

you nod your head and get up, "lets go then."

he chases a wave as he sits on his board, and you follow him out onto the water.

he kicks back a wave as you sit in the water admiring how hot he is surfing.

the both of you have fun riding waves before you make your way back on the sand, your gut internally sore from laughing so hard.

he takes your hand in his as you walk down the beach near the water line, finding a good spot to sit down as the sky turns pink from the orange sun setting into the horizon.

"so," he mumbles, looking ahead at the ocean in front of both of you, "you've been hangin' out for a while, you still a kook?"

you rest your tounge to the side of your mouth, "john b wants me out of figure eight already." you swallow, "i dont think its a bad idea."

he smiles, "well we know all about getting away from CPS." he takes a sip of his beer, "JB made like a pact with some of the officers by workin' a few extra shifts so they would get off his ass."

he shakes his head, "crooked cops," he tuts, "not bad for us though."

you felt a sigh of relief come over you. you wouldn't have to worry about legal consequences of it.

he turns his head to look at you, "what, you think you'd go to jail?" he laughs as you give him a sarcastically nervous look.

he looks up at the sky, "okay, yeah, maybe if you stick around for it all you might have some shit in your records."

you start laughing and jj admires your beautiful smile.

he looks at your face, "so, what do you say?"

you couldnt stop smiling when you were with him, especially all alone like this. "yeah whatever i'll pack my stuff tonight," as you draw circles in the sand.

"atta' girl," he nods as he sets down his beer.

you feel yourself blush and giggle like a little middle school girl as he wraps an arm around you.

"just so you know, im not so tight with the man upstairs."

you chuckle and nod, "obviously." you purse your lips slightly, "its alright."

"but," he starts, "you make me wanna be a better version of myself, you know?"

you grin and stare at the ground, "do I, now?"

"yeah." he smiles, "how bout' this?" he studies your face on his shoulder, "you teach me about all that god stuff and i'll teach you how to have some fun."

you snort at the comment, laughing, "deal."

he rubs your arm as you both look at the glistening water, the campfire in the distance.

you feel him sigh as he gently holds you on the sand, "thank god i have you, y/n."

you roll your eyes into your head at the corny joke before he tucks a small kiss on the side of your face making you blush slightly.

this girl is heaven on earth, jj thinks to himself.

"pope actually wanted you first."

your mouth drops open, "what?"

you start laughing as you punch his shoulder and JJ gives you a dominant stare.

you put your hands up in surrender, "okay, yeah, im yours, i give up."

he snickers to himself as you look in his eyes.

JJ shakes his head as he ruffles the top of your hair, making it all messy.

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[zzcrypticcoyotezz]

Read your Ian Malcom Nonbinary/genderfluid and now I can't get it out of my head. IT'S SUCH A COOL HEADCANNON THAT I SEE HAPPENING. Can you rant more about it, please? give more scenarios of what your take is LITERALLY ANYTHING GO FERAL. That is all thank you. Also Trans Alan?! yoooooooooo. Love the concept of Ian helping him come out more too. Just GRAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

aaaaaa thank you so much!!! AND YES i would be happy to! you're the first person to ever send me a question, i'm so excited my posts are starting to pick up and people like the dumb things i write haha. i've had this rotating in my brain like a microwave for a while so enjoy! doesn't make much sense with my headcanon being that malcolm messes with his gender after the events of JP, but i've been really wanting to reimagine the first scene of them together in the plane and make it extra fruity.

- - - -

"So... Are you a man, or a woman, then?" Alan asks, his eyes studying the mathematician carefully. He'd heard of Dr. Ian Malcolm and his work on chaos theory, sure. But he had no idea who the man himself (person?) was. He had absolutely no idea what to expect when he and Ellie boarded the plane, and he still doesn't know.

Ellie, gentle but still firmly elbowed Grant, giving him a glare. "Alan, you can't ask somebody you just met that question!" She whispered, sounding like a mother upset with her unruly son interrupting Sunday school.

Ian laughed, his sharp features curling into a smirk. He loved toying with the paleontologists, supposed men and women of science yet they couldn't wrap their head around someone defying societal gender norms. He leaned forward, his voice smooth, his long fingers gently pushing down the rim of his dark sunglasses revealing his big brown eyes, the windows to the soul some might say, and the makeup he had done that morning. Just something simple and easy to miss, just like his nails painted black or shoes secretly bought from the women's section, but undeniably himself, his style, his expression. He responded, his voice smooth with a hint of flirtation.

"I'm whatever you want me to be."

Alan sputtered. "I- uh, wh... What? What do you mean? That doesn't make any sense!" And Ellie couldn't help but laugh at his confusion. His voice grew quieter. "Pardon me if my wording isn't right, this isn't my expertise, but are you gay? One of those... Uh... Queers? I have no problem with any of it, I'm just looking for clarification."

Dr. Malcolm laughed. "Uhh... I, Well, uh, you could- you could say that, I suppose." The two still looked bewildered. "Here, uh, how about we look at it this way. Gender is.... Hmm... Something, uh, humans made up. A social construct. It doesn't truly matter what clothes we wear or what we put on our skin or how we style our hair. Life's too short to worry about that kind of thing. I'm just me. I'm not a man, or-or a woman, I'm a human being. And we're living things, we can't be put in- organized into a box. Life will always find a way to defy expectations."

Ellie's brows rose. "I actually think I understand. I've never really thought about any of this before, but it makes sense to me." She looked over at Alan. His face wrinkled in deep concentration, grappling with some kind of debate going on inside his head. After a moment, he finally responded.

"I'm sorry- but I'm still confused. How can you not be a man or a woman? The clothes thing, sure, okay, I get it." Before Dr. Malcolm had a chance to answer, Ellie spoke up.

"Just look at nature, Alan. There are definitely more than two genders or sexes. For fungi, there can be tens of thousands! And many animals can even change their gender or sex by themselves. Humans, we aren't separate from nature, we're a part of it. If Dr. Malcolm doesn't fit with either box then I don't see why they can't go past the binary."

Alan was starting to understand, but was still wrestling with a lot of concepts in his head. Things in his life he'd never told anyone before, things Ellie has no idea of. Alan Grant was not born as Alan Grant. Alan Grant wasn't born a man. He knew from the beginning that he wasn't a woman and he could never feel comfortable as one, and he was now dead to his family as they couldn't accept that. They'd rather have a "normal daughter" over a "transsexual for a son". He would lose his career if this came to light. He hasn't spoken to his parents since the day he left home at 18. They returned every letter he wrote.

Yet here now, in front of him, was someone who completely defied expectations. Someone who didn't care what others think. Someone who actively broke the rules. And this wasn't just anyone, but a world renowned mathematician! If a man, no, person of science can feel so comfortable with this part of themself... Then maybe he wasn't some freak of nature or mentally ill. That this is actually a normal human experience, that he wasn't alone or some kind of outlier. His expression softened.

"You're right, Ellie. I... I think I understand now. I apologize, Dr. Malcolm." His voice had a slight shake. Memories were flooding to his mind, memories he didn't want to remember, memories of his youth, and after he was kicked out of his parents' life. How much he'd fought to become the man he is today. How alone he felt, throughout so much of his life. He took in a deep breath, rubbed his temples and wiped his eyes, then cleared his throat, he held out his hand in a greeting. "I'd like to start over."

Ian smiled warmly, reciprocating the handshake. He felt like they have more in common than Grant would like to admit, and things were going to be alright.

-

[lower-mkdr]

Just a personal rambling about Adela's skin

Just as a heads up, I'm not spoiler free when it comes to Adela so I hope you can bear with me today since her new skin has me totally in love even if the showcase isn't out yet, the Adela brainrot is real and it's always there, but I've been taking my time to let it out. Going to the point, GOD, I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

I like the way it's something elegant yet quite simple, since it fits her style really well. I often think about how Adela is so complex yet she keeps trying to be pretty simple for the sake of her own view of "a perfect and relaxing life", but it's the details what makes the difference, she's still pretty elegant and has a lot of style.

Regarding what we know by the tranlations, the name is "tower candlelight". The first thing I thought about was the "Tower" mentioned in Phantom of the Mist, the clock tower where everything changes, where Letta warns us to no get close to, but it ends being what connects every piece of information together with Adela guiding us to learn the story about Mad Shears.

I'm not really surprised by the idea of a concept similar to Rapunzel, but I absolutely adore it. It's the way she's trapped by her own hair, in a tower the same description calls "My heart shall become a tall tower, and I shall sit at its precipice. There, there is nothing but silence and sorrow." (Just in case, I'm using the tranlation provided by Jiu Jiu subs).

It explains itself pretty well, right? She's been trapped for a long time by her own worries, her way to escape? "let's cut the worries away", but she's still there, her heart still is there. Same as the story in her interrogation, no matter how much Adela wants to avoid it, she knows there's something she's missing. It's just a "Let's think I'm out" but she's not, she's just there, imagining she's out.

I like how there's many candles around here, even birdcages and their surrounded by flowers (I'll do another post later if I find them or have an idea about it, flower language it's really interesting). I would love to say that she's another flower between those cages, there's even vines around.

The hairstyle is something so personal that the second I saw it I felt like crying while saying to my friends "I love how she has long hair, but I don't know how to feel about it in her case". For Adela, long hair represents worries that suffocate the owner of said hair, so being able to see her with pretty long hair, despite being something that I love and adore in a personal way, it really got me thinking "Is she okay????" (baby, do you want a hug and some tea?)

All the context so far left me really intrigued, but it also means that this is a part of herself, an important one. Probably this is how Adela felt for many years since she was young, she always was bound to something, until she decided to cut it away herself in search of her own happiness (Her relationship with her mother, the connection with Chief, the multiple times she tried to find a place she could call "home", but never found one), and in the end, it was all a part of her that she neglected, her own memories, in search for some stability. Here she looks so far quite calm, I guess it would be related/explain later to have some connection with Chief?

It reminds her of her 100% compliance line "People tend to bury themselves with old troubling memories, overburdened and suffocated, so I cut it away from me. But little did I know that I also cut away something that allowed my heart to sing. It's you who helped me rediscover that something".

She's no longer waiting for a home, nor searching for one, she's no longer suffocating herself constantly with feelings she can't comprehend (see the Mother's pendant interaction, It keeps hurting me), she's just here, looking at you with a smile, knowing things can change, but change doesn't really mean something bad. Her hearth is free now, she is free now