#yknow. /everyone/ stop fucking with my hair challenge

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

mother stop fucking with my hair challenge

[rizzyu]

▵▿— Red Wine on Christmas Night

Pairing: Chuuya Nakahara, x gn! reader

Category: Fluffffuff

Warning: alcohol consumption, cussing, m o r i.

Summary: As Christmas strived closer and close by the day, the Port Mafia hosted a Christmas dinner at its headquarters to celebrate. Chuuya had a little bit too much to drink and started being a little bit too clingy with you.

A/N: I made this one significantly shorter than Dazai’s one cuz I don’t really wanna write another long ass fic

“I AIN’T WEARING THAT SHIT”

“Cmonnnnn put it on before Y/N get here, it’ll be funny”

“ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT”

You just arrived at the Port Mafia’s headquarters to see Tachihara and Higuchi try to convince Chuuya to wear a santa costume. “Uhhhh what’s going on?” Chuuya slowly turned his head towards you, teeth gritted and face burning in red. “HEY STOP LOOKING” Chuuya pointed at you “AND DON’T YOU DARE IMAGINE ME IN A SANTA COSTUME GOD DAMMIT”

You flashed a cheeky grin “Of course not.”

“Settle down little ones.” Kouyou stepped in the room with a glass of red wine in her hand. “We would be heading in the meeting room quite soon, so I do wish you would behave well in front of the boss.” Kouyou took a sip from her glass when Mori opened the door “Please come in.”

Chuuya sat down next to you. “I sincerely welcome all my executives and important members to this dinner.” Mori held up his glass. “Tonight we shall celebrate another year of the Port Mafia’s high achievements.” Everyone held up their own glass and toasted to this year’s Christmas.

▿▵▿▵▿

Chuuya poured himself another glass of wine after already downing his first. “So how was your recent mission?” He asked you out of the blue, his face was already flushed from the alcohol. “It was alright, just another silly little group who wanted to challenge the Port Mafia. It wasn’t that difficult to have them retreating like chickens.” You watched as Chuuya had already downed half of his second glass. “Hey stop drinking so fast, I can’t have you passing out like last time.”

“Hah?? The hell you talking about? I’ve only drank a little”

“Yea… keep telling yourself that—eh?” You quickly snapped your head around to look at Chuuya the moment he plopped his forehead against your shoulder. “Chuuya you should really stop drinking for tonight.” “Have anyone told you that you look so fucking beautiful tonight?” Your lips quirked upwards, clearly amused by how much of a lightweight Chuuya is, despite his obsession with alcohol.

“God ‘m so tired. ‘ve been getting to many missions lately.” Chuuya quietly muttered. You lightly chuckled “Where did the energetic Chuuya I saw earlier go?” “That Chuuya gotta get his rest too yknow…” You smiled softly before combing his hair through your fingers. The way Chuuya’s tensed muscles relaxed made the butterflies in your stomach flutter around.

“I feel like I should record this” Higuchi suddenly spoke from across the table. “It seems that we’re intruding something going on between these two.” Tachihara nods in agreement.

“WHAT? What do you mean— hold up! How long have you all been watching???” You felt your cheeks warm up. “Pretty much since you two started flirting with each other…” “We-we’re not flirting what do you mean??”

Kouyou sighs as she put down her cutlery. “Don’t mind those two, it’s not like this is the first time this has happened.” You chuckled nervously, secretly thanking your senior for trying to changing the subject.

Your eyes slightly widened when you felt Chuuya completely plop his head onto your lap. Soft snores left his lips as he slept soundly. You smiled to yourself when he nuzzled himself closer to you in his sleep, you leaned down to place a kiss on the crown of his head.

“I told you not to drink so much…” You sighed. “Merry christmas Chuuya.”

[hops-hunny]

Temptation

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x McGonagall!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 4k

Request: “Could you maybe do a Neville x reader where the reader is McGonagall's grandchild?”

Summary: Neville had never experienced temptation, till it walked by him in a pleated skirt.

Warnings: Suggestive thoughts???

A/N: I won’t even lie, this was very self indulgent. I didn’t mean to write this much but oh well! Also I noticed I read the prompt wrong and wrote this for fem reader so I apologize anon. I still hope you can find joy in this!

Temptation. Temptation was a word Neville knew well. He had heard it many upon many times. From his peers, and even some of his teachers. However, he never really understood what it felt like to experience it, to have it coursing through his very being. Well, that was until it came knocking on his door or, to put it more precisely, walking by him in a (y/h/h) robe and vanilla-lavender perfume. He didn’t expect it to have such a beautiful laugh and he certainly didn’t expect it to be McGonagall's granddaughter! No matter how many times he had heard it described to him and how many times he had heard the feeling be recited to him like one of those shit muggle pop songs, it still didn’t prepare him for the real experience itself.

Could she be anymore perfect? Anymore graceful, anymore well, tempting? She was the kind of beauty that he read about in books and the kind of beauty he saw when he looked at all the flowers that bloomed within the greenhouse. He watched, observing her beauty as she walked. His face flushed softly as he saw her eyes light up, head facing straight ahead and shoulders held high unaware of his eyes of adoration upon her. His gaze was then shifted to her hair. The way the light reflected off of the (h/c) strand made his heart race! Next was one of his favorite things, her smile. Her smile was enough to brighten anyone's day! Well...it most certainly brightened his that is. His eyes fixated on her legs, the soft sheen they held. ‘God they look smooth, like the softest of pillows, the smoothest of silks, the fluffiest, puffiest of clouds. I bet the-’ he was broken out of his thoughts as she came to a stop in front of her grandmother which made him a bit queasy to his stomach. If only McGonagall new about his thoughts...wait did she? She could be using legilimency on him this very moment and he’d have no clue. What if she was, what if she-

He jumped, squeaking softly as a hand came down hard on his shoulder causing his body to tense. And his gaze to shift to the source of the force relaxing when he saw it was Dean. 

“Hey Nev, what are you doing just standing here? Oh I see what it is!” He exclaimed smiling at his lanky friend, watching his eyes flicker back and forth between in front of him and back to himself. Neville gulped, tugging at his sleeves a bit as his shirt suddenly began to feel constraining.

“Y-you do?” he asked nervously. His throat began to feel smaller. The problem with Neville’s little…’temptation’ was that he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had feelings for people before. He had his fair share of crushes throughout the year. But she was different. See, he wasn’t the first one to notice how beautiful the girl was. Heavens no! Quite a few of his peers had noticed just how breathtaking (Y/n) was but once they saw the last name that was attached to her, that was more than enough to turn them the other way. However, the connection to her grandmother not only put up an invisible force field for suitors, but friends as well. He found himself feeling sorry for her often, he could only imagine how lonely she was. 

“Yeah, I do. You were waiting for me to find you so you could help me with my herbology homework! Man Nev, you’re such a good friend.” he said. Neville rolled his eyes noticing all of Dean’s missing coursework for herbology within his hands. As much as he loved his friend, he also couldn’t deny how unbelievably idiotic he was. Although he was disappointed in how irresponsible he was, he was also relieved he hadn’t noticed what had actually had him standing there lost in his thoughts. “Oh and I also saw you staring at McGonagall junior. I don’t blame you mate, she’s bloody fit. Have you seen her in that skirt she wears to Hogsmeade? It makes me just wanna-” Neville smacked his friend on the back again ignoring his groan of protest. He began to walk off leaving Dean confused. Neville noticed the lack of his friend's presence near him causing him to turn around.

“Do you want help with your herbology work or not?”

-----------

(Y/n) sat with Luna in the courtyard, watching as her friend picked at the wildflowers twisting them and molding them into a flower crown. She sighed once again as she continued to ramble onto her. “I don’t know Lu, he’s just so cute! I wouldn’t even know how to approach him. Besides, he probably wants someone from his own house and year, yknow?” She said as she glanced at her preoccupied friend. “Are you even listening to me?” she huffed frustratedly. Luna looked at her, rolling her eyes at her a bit.

“You’re only a year below us (Y/n), you talk about him as if he’s an old man! Besides, the whole different house thing would only matter to him if he was a Slytherin. Neville doesn’t care about little things like that.” she took the completed crown placing it on her friend’s head as she smiled at her. “Yknow, for someone at the top of your year you’re quite daft.” Luna said nonchalantly, causing her friend’s eye to twitch. One thing (Y/n) would never get quite used to is her friend’s ability to tell people the truth as if it were nothing. Luna squeezed the girl’s soft (s/c) hand before smiling at her. “Besides, you’re beautiful! If he doesn’t want you, I know there are plenty of guys who most certainly do!” (Y/n) felt herself get quite shy at her friend’s words, rubbing at the goosebumps that were forming on her arm. But, she was right. She couldn’t let her thoughts of if or if not a guy liked her get her down. 

“Hey (Y/n), have you ever, yknow, actually tried TALKING to the guy?” Ginny asked, smacking on the taffy she had been eating. The (e/c) eyed girl felt herself getting flustered once again.

“W-well, the short answer is no. Don’t look at me like that! I’ve TRIED. Every time I try something comes up! I’m either almost late to class, one of his friend’s comes up to him, or I have to do something for my Nan! It’s a lot harder trying to talk to someone when you don’t have any classes with them..” she said as she began to pout, reminded of her failed attempts to speak to the awkwardly charming boy. Ginny popped another taffy in her mouth, processing her friend's words before smirking a bit.

“Just leave it to me, I have the perfect plan! Don’t you worry a single little hair on that pretty head of yours.” she said, causing both of her friends to side eye her both with the same thought in mind: ‘Oh Merlin, what is she thinking now?’

---------------

Well, what Ginny had been thinking wasn’t too bad but, (Y/n) was still quite nervous as she sat here. She was thankful Ginny hadn’t trapped them in a 1 on 1 situation or did something fucking stupid such as locking them in the room of requirement together. No, instead she had gathered her and Neville’s shared group of friends and decided to have a picnic together whilst everyone else was at Hogsmeade. Luna had asked the house elves to spare some of the extra food they had from lunch which they gave to her kindly considering how sweet she was to them always. 

Even though all of their friends were there, she still found herself being nervous which is why she still sat on the blanket with Hermione as Ron, Harry, and Dean picked on Neville lightheartedly by splashing him with water, Ginny and Luna challenged each other to different swim challenges, and Hermione read a book, relaxing comfortably under the shade of the tree. She sighed to herself, hugging her legs closer to her chest as she brought her face to rest upon her knees. She let her eyes wander back to Neville, a smile gracing her face as she observed him. She never got the time to just watch him in a natural environment. Every time she saw him, he was always so jumpy or nervous, awkwardly engaging in conversation with people who usually just wanted herbology help or needed advice on how to care for their plants. But now, watching as he smiled and laughed with their friends she realized just how infatuated with him she truly was. She took in the way his hair looked wet, his usually wavy hair drooped, water dripping from the strands. She smiled, noticing the way his crooked smile looked when he was his happiest. She began to get flustered noticing the way his arms had a bit of definition to them which (Y/n) could only assume came from all the heavy lifting he did for Professor Sprout in the greenhouse.

“You should join him. Sitting there and wondering what could be isn’t gonna get you anywhere.” (Y/n) gasped a little, whipping her head around quickly to look at her friend whose eyes were still fixated on the book in her hand, flipping the pages delicately.

“H-how did yo-”

“How did I know? You’re so predictable. Plus, you’re a little chatterbox. The only time you shut up is when you look at him.” Hermione giggled, finally peering at her friend over her book. She closed it and set it down on the blanket before taking off her cover up. She held a hand down to her friend. “Well, are you coming?” (Y/n) looked up at her friend, biting the inside of her cheek as she thought about it before nodding, letting Hermione pull her up. She began to take off her own cover up before taking a deep breath. She looked at her friend and they began walking towards the lake.

“I’ve never seen ‘Mione in a swimsuit before. She looks...like a girl.” Ron said to his friends as they watched the two girls near the lake. His friends all responded in some form of agreement. He turned to look at Neville, smirking as he saw him staring at the girls. “It looks like you agree don’t you, Nev?” Neville shook his head, a light blush coating his cheeks. Unknown to his friends he wasn’t looking at Hermione though, he was looking at her. 

“Yeah, she’s quite beautiful.” This didn’t go unnoticed by Ginny though who smirked, deciding to turn things up a notch.

“Hey, why don’t we all play some chicken? There’s enough of us!” Ginny said, beginning to walk over to the guys with Luna not too far behind her. “Unless you guys are scared, you know I’m the chicken champion so I wouldn’t be surprised if you w-”

“Don’t be ridiculous Gin! You know for a fact I’m way better than you, I proved that when you came to my place last summer.” (Y/n) said giggling at her overly confident friend. She tried sneaking a glance at Neville but found she had been caught in the act as Neville was already staring at her. She looked away quickly rubbing the back of her neck. Wait, why was Neville already looking at her?

 She shook herself out of her thoughts as they all began to pair off for chicken. The (h/c) haired girl went to approach one of her friends but found that Ginny and Harry already paired. She quickly tried turning to Hermione who made her way over to Ron. She sent one last pleading glance Luna’s way but the girl simply smiled at her before walking over to Dean. She felt her heart race at what she already suspected to happen. “I-I guess it's us, Nev.” she felt herself growing a bit insecure at having to sit on the boy’s shoulders. Although she was short, she didn’t have as small of a frame as her other friends did. “L-listen Neville, if I’m too heavy or too much for you to lift don’t even worry about it! I have no problem bei-”

With all the courage Neville could muster, he took a deep breath diving under water before rising up with the girl on his shoulder as his large hands gripped at her thighs making sure she was sturdy on his shoulders. She shrieked a bit at the unexpected gesture, gripping at his hair a bit. Holy shit was his heart racing. Had he really just done that? What had gotten into him? ‘Don’t back down, Nev! Say something cool, say something cool!!’ 

He cleared his throat some, before patting her thigh with his hand. “You’re fine. Y-you don’t weigh much of anything.” He said. She felt herself relax some, hoping he couldn’t feel the goosebumps on her thighs. However, Neville’s thoughts were far from the goosebumps. He couldn’t help himself from thinking that they were just as soft as he had imagined them to be. He was in deep and he knew it. “L-l-listen (Y/n), I-”

“Alright who’s going first? Me vs ‘Mione maybe? Come on Harry, move faster!” Ginny said. (Y/n) found herself trying to stifle a giggle at the sight before her. Ginny was tugging at Harry’s hair and yelling at the boy as he argued back. She couldn’t contain herself at the sight, she began to laugh trying to make sure she didn’t fall off Neville’s shoulders at the movement. 

Neville however was so entranced at that sound. He found himself wanting to be the person to cause that melodic giggle to come from her every time. “They’re so cute aren’t they?” she asked as he hummed in agreement. “I’d love to have something like that.” she mumbled to herself, however Neville had heard.

-------------------------------

Ginny was on a win streak, she had beaten Luna and Dean, and Hermione and Ron. She was feeling confident as she banged on her chest cheering which reminded (Y/n) of a muggle movie her aunt once showed her. She had been absentmindedly petting Neville’s hair, running her fingers through it as she swirled it around her fingers. He hadn’t minded though, his face was flushed a bright pink and he was much too scared to say anything, worried that if he did he would end up waking up in his bed and it all would’ve been a dream. He heard his favorite voice pull him out of his thoughts.

“We’re up next Nev, think we’ll win?” she asked as she leaned over, her face appearing in front of his upside down. He jumped a bit, pulling his face back and tightening his grip on her legs.

“C-careful (Y/n!) You might fall if you’re not!” he said, staring into her eyes. God were they beautiful.

“I doubt it, I’ve got you holding me up. I trust ya, you wouldn’t let me fall.” she said giggling as she leaned back up, her lips accidentally brushing against his nose and forehead on the way back up which has caused both of them to freeze up and a silence to fall upon the two. Their eyes both watched as Luna fell off of Dean’s shoulders again as Ginny cheered at another victory.

“But to answer your question, I think we’ve got this in the bag! Let’s do this!” He said as he waded over to them. She smiled at his enthusiasm as they looked over at them. She looked over at Luna who gave her a wink causing her to grow shy once more. 

“Ah a new challenger approaches!” Ron exclaims, his eyes drifting to the pair. Neville glared at Ron a bit when his eyes lingered on the girl above him’s figure for just a tad too long before he cleared his throat.

“We’re gonna kick your ass, Gin! Prepare to get that gorgeous red hair of yours soaked! Isn’t that right, Neville?” She asked looking down at his head as he nodded along. “Consider this a rematch to last summer. I’ve come to snatch my crown right from off your head.” she said placing an invisible crown done on her head laughing as Ginny scoffed at her actions.

“Bring it on (y/h/h)!” She said as Harry began to walk over to her. The two girls both began to approach each other with looks of determination in their eyes. Neville let his eyes wander to the water watching the girl’s actions through the water.

“Beautiful..” he muttered in awe as he gazed upon her affectionately. Although he was nervous, he was even more so nervous of letting her down. He tightened his grip on her plush thighs as a determined expression made its way to his face. 

Ginny and (Y/n) both began pushing and tugging at each other trying to get each other to fall. And (Y/n) did have to admit, it was no easy feat considering how tone Ginny was from quidditch practice and how out of shape she was herself from all those late night cake sessions with the house elves but it didn’t deter her at all. She continued to push and shove at Ginny. If she could only get a better grip...she didn’t have that much time to do so as the redhead girl gave a particularly hard push causing the girl to almost topple over. Almost being the key word. Neville gripped at her a bit harder at her as she went backwards causing her to fling forward with quite a bit of force. Using said force to her advantage, the (y/h/h) girl was able to push Ginny, sending her and Harry falling in. They both cheered Neville spinning around with her as they laughed before he felt something tug his leg sending them both flying into the water.

Neville resurfaced, spluttering a bit as he shook his head a bit. “Sod off, Harry! You’re a sore loser!” He exclaimed laughing with his friend. He turned to his side remembering the (h/c) girl. He watched as she resurfaced and took a gasp of air. His breath hitched as he watched the way she pushed her hair back, chest on display behind her swimsuit. God was she gorgeous.. He shook himself out of his thoughts, pushing some of her hair behind her ear that she had managed to miss. He watched as she looked away from him shyly muttering a soft thank you towards him.

They went at it for a bit more, the girls all determined to at least win one round. At some point, Ginny even put Harry on her shoulders and as it turned out, he was way worse at chicken than she was. Even Luna had somehow managed to beat him. But as they all went on, the group grew hungry and decided as the sun would be setting soon, it’d be a good idea to eat like they originally planned. They all gathered around on the large gingham blanket and once again, her friends turned against her leaving the only spot available for her next to Neville. However, unlike last time she decided to take full advantage of the situation. She feigned a shiver, catching his attention as she hoped. 

“A-are you cold, (Y/n)?” He asked, eyes full of concern.

“Yeah, just a bit Nev!” she smiled back at him, popping another grape into her mouth. Neville looked at her blankly for a bit before deciding to give into his temptation. See, the thing with Neville wasn’t that he was scared. No, in fact he had had his fair share of flings during his time at Hogwarts unbeknownst to his friends. It's just, she was different. He made his heart race in different ways and gave him goosebumps on his arms and back. She made his brain short circuit from the mere sight of her. However, he knew she would not be single forever. He wasn’t oblivious to the lingering looks his friends had been given her throughout the night and he certainly wasn’t going to stay in the same lane as them. So, without a second thought he grabbed her with ease sitting her in his lap, the soft skin of her waist meeting the soft skin of his arms as he pulled her into his chest. (Y/n) felt her breath hitch slightly, as her own set of goosebumps started to form.

“Is that better?” Neville whispered softly to her as his chin came to rest on her shoulder. She turned her head slightly, her lips slightly brushing against his freckled cheek due to their close proximity. Instead of responding, she simply nodded still in a state of shock. Was this really happening? Her (e/c) eyes came to meet Ginny’s who simply smirked, sending her a wink before she went back to her conversation with Harry. None of her friends seemed that shocked at the position they were in. (Y/n) found herself a mix between relieved and offended that no one was surprised.

Although (Y/n) hadn’t noticed anything, the clenched fist and furrowed brows of his own friends did not go unnoticed. He felt himself smile internally, Neville 1 and the others 0. He caressed her skin lightly as if she was made of the finest of porcelain that would break from even a bit of pressure. The Gryffindor boy felt a surge of confidence within himself as goosebumps formed under his fingertips. He was knocked from his thoughts as a ripe strawberry was pressed against his lips, turning his attention to the (h/c) haired girl. He slowly took a bite from it, pink lips wrapped around the red fruit. He hummed constantly as he pulled away. (Y/n) moved back slightly to look at him, giggling at his red stained lips as the juice rolled down his chin a bit.

“Hey, you’ve got a bit of..” she trailed off giggling more as she motioned towards the juice. “One second, I’ll get it for you.” she murmured, reaching for a napkin. Neville pulled her back causing her to give him a confused look.

“No need.” he whispered, pulling her forward, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was a mix of everything at once. Passion. Hesitance. Desire. And oh, he couldn’t forget his little friend: temptation. He pulled her closer, settling his large hands at the base of her spine right about her rear as hers wrapped around his neck. The girl’s fingers twirled the hair at the bottom of his head trying to distract her from the tingling sensation she felt all over. Neville nibbled at her lip a bit, biting it as he pulled away. “T-this is probably the wrong time to ask but, are you seeing anyone?”

-------------------------

The next week, Neville found himself in that same spot in the hallway that he was in the previous monday. His thoughts drift to the angel known as his vice, his temptation. He watched as her smooth legs made their way down the hall, smile on her face as per usual. However, this time he didn’t have to crave to be the one those eyes were lighting up at. He didn’t have to crave to be the one that oh so beautiful smile was caused by, because he was. He held his arms open with a smile, stumbling back a bit as the (y/h/h) jumped in his arms. He caught her, twirling her around as they both laughed before he placed her on the ground grabbing her hand. Neville placed a peck upon her cheek, nothing but adoration in his eyes. He gulped slightly, sweaty palms as they walked by McGonagall but he found himself relaxing when she sent a wink his way as she gave him a smile of approval.

Although temptation had originally showed itself on his doorstep as a visitor in his home, it eventually developed into something more and became a welcome resident in his home. Temptation was no longer temptation, it was love.

[jrueships]

The vampire Russ thoughts you have given out are 😌. He def speaks in a Dracula sort of way sometimes, idk if it’s just me

BUT the main reason for this ask is for some redacted Marcus/giannis thoughts. Or some Chris Paul/ others thoughts, in honor of the finals being almost over!

He is DEFINITELY Dracula core LMAO like dark academia fancy man but... with more fashion

Like... you cannot show me This and NOT tell me he's a fancy possible vampire kin WNDNSKNX

I'm just like. Obsessed with russ as a whole. I know some people don't like him and for valid reasons but like... he's so?? Interesting??? On the court he is unhinged but off the court he's just ?? Chill. Like basketball is anger therapy for him and when hes done with it, he's done LMAO. He sits all fancy and elegantly sips his wine from a glass and braids his kids' hair like!!! King shit man! After a hard day's work of screeching on court, he can lounge back on his throne and speak softly in his weird little mafia king pin sounding sweet voice: totally unbothered. Like!!!! That's so enigmatic to me!!he's so interesting !!!! A truly magnificent Dracula man...

OKAY BUT ABOUT. .... THEM....

HMM....

I think they're a lot like john/trae where they're definitely on the VERGE of being sexy together when they're having sex... but their goofy personalities just ruin the moment (not for them but for normal humans who don't laugh at every single thing LMAO) ... BUT I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THEM ANYWAYS... I just don't know if it's HOT. Yknow like those are my fav ships. When they have sex but they don't have to have like... the perfect porno version of sex where everything is always hot and perfect and?? Yeah LMAO. I like when they're a bit more realistic and have to pause and ask if something is ok like?? Idk!!that's my shit! Idk maybe that's just me???

ANYWAYS REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED...

Okay. We all know about Mr. Foreplay at night Antetokounmpo. And we ALSO know how much raw short king energy Marcus exudes... I feel like on those special nights, maybe after a hard fought game where they're both competitively Pissed at each other (giannis moreso than Marcus.)... the goofiness is flown out the window for just. Straight up fierce, competitive sex. Whoever c*ms first loses. AJBDJS just practically wrestling. Like.. picture after a Celtics bucks game. Marcus has been bothering giannis nonstop with his defense and giannis is fucking. Mad. Nostrils flared, shoulders hunched up. He hasn't been getting any foul calls and the refs have not been on his side at All during the Marcus defense. In fact, they found it amusing how a 6'3 man can stop a Greek Giant. And they aren't the only ones laughing, because everytime Giannis turns back to look at the little defender... he's got the widest grin with two taunting smile lines adjacent.

Oh hell no.

After a tiresome game, normal players would have went straight to their hotel to take a long nap... but giannis wasn't Normal people. He's storming right into the Celtics locker room, right as Marcus is sending away some straggler rookies from the locker because he Already Knows what's gonna go down.

Giannis has the politeness to wait for everyone to leave before walking Marcus so far into his locker that the defender's knees buckle and he has to sit literally inside the locker looking up at Giannis's looming form. Two big hands at each side of the locker, Giannis cranes himself down at just. Glares at Marcus and his permanent smug smile. Normal people would have shit their pants if they saw this 6'11 man staring like he wanted to rip their intestines straight from their body, but Marcus wasnt normal people. He just grins a big toothed smile and states matter-of-the-factly "you played like shit today."

Next thing he knows, he's smirking at Giannis eye to eye level now that Giannis has him slammed high up a wall, supporting his lower half with strong arms. Marcus's legs wrap around and his hands are already trying to claw marks into the other's skin, tearing at the jersey. Marcus digs into Giannis's back, as if it was the only latch he had onto life. He doesn't care that Giannis has to tighten the hold when he leans over to try and rip a bite into his carrier's neck, in fact, he Likes making Giannis struggle for it. For him.

So yeah, in short, they have locker room sex.

AS FOR LIKE.... just in general ideas of them doing redacted UHHHH

Marcus Definitely gives Giannis lapdances.

But he's got rules that are held in place with an iron fist. Sometimes he says that Giannis can't touch him or he'll have to bind Giannis down into a chair to keep him steady while Marcus Gets To Work. Of course, giannis laughs it off and promises that he won't lay a finger on Marcus. It's simple, all he's gonna do is just dance on his lap? He won't disturb that. Nothing bothers the Greek Freak.

So Marcus keeps him to his promise and climbs into his lap. And straddles him. And he does one long R o l l of his hips, right down where Giannis is feeling the hottest and

O h .

γαμήσω..

Giannis WANTS to keep his hands at his side, wants to keep them steady but Marcus's hips are Right there just Right There and his body is Right there and his bright smile is Right There and his cute freckled face is grinning Right There and he's so close and . Fuck he's so close. He's so fucking close-

Giannis whines and pleads and begs and gives his best puppy eyes. But Marcus holds him to his promise despite it all.

And then, to make Giannis squirm even more, the shirt comes off and Giannis can see just a Hint of a bare skinned hip peeking out from Marcus's pants and Oh Fuck. He's gotta. He's gotta.

Marcus is so slow with his dancing, planting kisses so sweet like he wasn't the one killing Giannis. Like he was playing unaware at what he was doing to Giannis. It was so hot and Marcus was Right there and it'd be so easy to. Just can he Please take off his pants? Both of them? Please? The underwear is constricting everything and it's so- he's so close. Fuck. He's so close. And-

Y e a h . So marcus gives Giannis lapdances.

In sex, they both kinda take turns teasing the other. Even when Giannis is smothering Marcus deep into the mattress with each thrust, Marcus always finds the energy to twist his head back and snicker at how concentrated Giannis is, how sweaty his face is. If Giannis tries to shut him up by sticking his fingers down his everyapping jaw, Marcus simply responds by biting. Still, Giannis takes it as a challenge and responds with his own quips, finding the most success during the aftercare when Marcus is too tired to retort.

After cleaning themselves off in the shower (and having a mini towel whip fight), they both cuddle under the covers. Marcus and Giannis both attempt to be the big spoon, usually ending up with their limbs tangled under the sheets. Giannis whispers about how much he liked seeing Marcus's eyes roll, about how cute his noises were. And Marcus just mutters for him to shut up and weakly hits him with a pillow.

AND FINALLY... just mini thoughts about them..

- giannis sometimes speaks Greek when he gets Really into sex. And he mumbles songs in Greek while he sleeps. Sometimes Marcus wakes up from a nightmare, stays up for a bit, but then hears the faint murmuring of an odd tune sang from his boyfriend's sleepy lips... and it lulls him back to rest.

- as much as giannis prides himself over being a Greek Freak, he's honestly not All that freaky. Just has a high sex drive, really. So does Marcus so their restless libidos work in tune.

- giannis likes pulling at Marcus's braids and trying to undo them. Marcus fucking kills him for it though LMFAO

- giannis does have a 'ring for blowjob' bell. Sometimes Marcus throws it at him if he's not feelin it JABDJAB

- giannis calls Marcus "stinky" in greek but says that it means "I love you" in greek

- giannis is still trying to introduce 'sexy roleplay' into the bedroom but it just ends up spiraling into two theater kids trying to act out their theater kid dreams

ANYWAYS... YEAH... they THEM. A very teasing kinda... unstoppable force vs unmovable rock KABDJSN UHHHH yeah! Those are my redacted marcus/giannis thoughts LMAO. I HOPE U LIKE IT LITTLE ANON!!

I WILL REBLOG THIS WITH CP3 CONTENT SOON!!!!!!!!!! busy rn so if this sounds insane it's because it is LMAO but YEAH. S o o n

[kiribaku-fics-whatever]

Fake/Pretend Relationship

Moment of truth by Fanficismything

Faced with deportation from Japan, high strung Bakugo Katsuki accepts a marriage of convenience with his partner and co-worker, Kirishima Eijirou. A suspicious immigration officer has him playing along on a trip to Kirishima's family home for his birthday, and is suddenly thrust into the middle of many, many eager friends and relatives, all delighted to know Kirishima's fiance. The longer he stays and sees Kirishima in his element, the more Bakugo unpacks his own feelings on the matter, and on Kirishima himself.

A fanfiction based on the 2009 movie The Proposal that turned into its own storyline and lovingly stuffed full of cliches.

heart stains on the carpet by cityboys

"She's saying we're dating," Katsuki says, trying to put as much disgust into the word as possible. "Me. Willingly being around your freeloading ass—"

"Ah." Katsuki is definitely developing a special kind of intuition for when Kirishima's about to dish out bullshit—because he feels it now, watching the guy do that thing where he shrugs and smiles in an attempt to appear innocent. "Katsuki's a little shy about this sort of thing, you know, and we weren’t going to say anything.”

For effect, he ends with an apologetic smile.

Summer that year brings Kirishima Eijirou to Katsuki's front door.

not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all by theroyalsavage

The proposition is simple: fake-date the single scariest human being on the planet so Todoroki Shouto can go out with his brother. The thing is, with Bakugou, Kirishima thinks he may have signed up for more than he’d bargained for. (A 10 Things I Hate About You AU.)

quote love unquote by newamsterdam

Sero nods. “It’s the chance of a lifetime, really,” he says. “We want you to date Bakugou, for the sake of his reputation with the press. Some public appearances, a few ‘candid’ photos. For at least a couple of months.”

“Bakugou sent you to ask me to date him?” Kirishima asks, baffled.

“Of course not. We, his people, are asking you to date him. He’s going to have to get on board, if he wants his career to survive. And in the bargain, Riot will get all sorts of publicity, because their lyricist will be dating one of the industry’s hottest stars. A win for everyone.”

When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.

i couldnt love you more if i tried by mothsalt

“Right.” Ashido agrees. “It’s different, for sure it’s different. But it’s not bad! It makes you look...softer. Which is funny, ‘cause of your quirk.”

“What happens if that dye washes out too?” Bakugou asks, still squinting in Eijirou’s direction. “Would you be blonde then?”

“Brownish-blonde, probably.” Eijirou knocks his head against Kaminari’s. “Can we go? I really don’t wanna talk about my hair anymore, haha.”

“That’s a first.” Kaminari teases, poking him in the side.

or, kirishima and kaminari are very affectionate bros, and bakugou doesnt know what to do with that information

lionhearted by dearwormwood

Kirishima should've known better then to listen to his friends at this point, but Kaminari wouldn't leave him alone, so what else was he supposed to do?

Punk’s Not Dead by wrunic

“So you want to use me to piss off your mom?” Kirishima summarized, raising one pierced eyebrow at Katsuki.“Look, if you want to be all fucking judgy about it, I take cash,” Katsuki said, dropping his hand palm up on the table.“Hey now,” Kirishima said, raising his hands in surrender, “I didn’t say I wasn’t doing it. I’m always down for a little chaos.” He flashed a grin, showing off his ridiculous shark teeth.“Good,” Katsuki said. “We start tomorrow."

Marry Me... So I Can Date You by sweetbeam

“I mean you could get a green card but yours is about to expire and that takes years, not months. Too bad you aren’t in a serious relationship because you could have gotten a marriage visa.” He rambled on but Bakugou stopped listening.

Marriage. He could do that. He just needed to find someone who didn’t make him want to explode.

“...and I’d totally do it, yknow,” Kirishima finished as Bakugou tuned back in.

“Are you dating anyone seriously, Kirishima?”

The PA’s face filled with a pink color all the way up to his spiky red hairline. “I-I mean I don’t think so...I mean I am not dating anyone as of right now,” he fumbled.

“Marry me,” Bakugou replied like it was a challenge.

Be (Fake) Mine by arashimoon6

Midoriya accidentally leads his mom to believe he's got a boyfriend. It's not a problem until UA decides they should invite the students' parents to come see the dorms. His mother insists on meeting his special person when she comes to visit, so what's a boy with a hopeless crush to do? Certainly not ask that hopeless crush out. Not if he knows what's good for him. After all, it's not like this is some kind of rom-com. Looks like it's time to call on the world's manliest friend.

Husband For Rent by howitzerkaori

JPNews Headline: President Himiko of GZ corp shocks the whole fashion industry!

Himiko Bakugou(75), current owner and president of GZ, shocked everyone by announcing her early retirement during a speech in model- Yuumi Aihara's (24)wedding yesterday night. It's thought that Himiko will pass ownership to current CEO of the company, Mitsuki Bakugou (46)the wife of Himiko's late son, but turns out the full authority will become Himiko's grandson, Katsuki Bakugou(25) to have. President Himiko also announced the upcoming wedding of his grandson and boyfriend whose name is currently unknown..(see more)

or

future ceo bakugou pays a hard up kirishima to be his fake boyfriend for 2 days only, but things doesn't go the way as he planned

[mottephobia-imagines]

BNHA as Hetalia Characters (Axis + Allies only)

Hahahahaaaa.. I’m still Hetalia trash 😇

—

Mirio Togata as America

I first put Denki as America but then I saw a post and now I can’t stop thinking about BTT SeroKiriKami so yeah-

Mirio and America have more things in common other than being blond, blue-eyed precious beans that need to be protected

First of- s t r o n g. They’re both canonically some of the strongest characters in their respective series despite their relatively young ages (Mirio being above some pro-hero levels despite still being in high school and America being well America lmao)

Additionally, they both have drive; they have a determination to become as strong as they possibly could, and stop at nothing to get there

Also, they love helping people! Mirio wants to save a million smiles, and America is a self-proclaimed hero (who admittedly isn’t the best but he’s trying okay)

Both of them kinda also have a hidden intelligence? Like, as in one would never think of them to be highly intelligent people because they’re so goofy and energetic

Since it’s implied that both Tamaki and Mirio game in their free time, him and America are also avid gamers (imagine them playing smash together lmao I feel like they’d break all the controllers)

Both v v competitive too (not as much as the next duo tho)- they’ll never back down from a challenge and face it head on with all their might!

Also, they’re basically the blond boy of the month but it’s every month lmao

(In my eyes they’re both cute little golden retrievers shshsjdjskal)

In conclusion, they’re sunshines who deserve the world and more

Katsuki Bakugo as England

Okay fr hear me the fuck out-

I know it’s an unlikely pair

But they have their similarities just bear with me here

Yes, I was initially going to put in Romano for Bakugo (anger issues gang)

But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that unlike Romano, he wouldn’t back away from a challenge or run at the slightest scare- Bakugo would take that shit and smother it into the ground

And while England may sometimes be portrayed as a prude gentleman type, we can’t forget his history- this man is probably one of, if not the most, ballsy countries to exist (at least back in his prime)

England is smart, calculated and cunning- how could you not be when you’ve conquered nearly the whole damn world?

He’s proud and maybe a bit too egotistical, and while lacking the anger issues and probably dead vocal cords of Bakugo, he sure as hell matches him in the pride and power aspect

Bakugo, on the other hand, is literally top of his class; boy is a nerd and has a perfect record

So he’s by no means any less smart than England, maybe a little more reckless, but he’s 16- you can’t exactly compare his mindset to a country’s

Even so he does act quickly on the battlefield, much like England assessed situations very precariously (most of the time)

Both of them would probably look an opponent dead in the eye and tell them to do it, bet you won’t pussy ass

On a lighter note tho, they’re two blond, spiky-haired tsunderes who are way to proud and smart for their own good

They also both listen to rock/punk so there’s that too

foreverfurrowedbrowclubTM

Aoyama Yuuga as France

I know I just said SeroKamiKiri is the BTT but once again hear me out

I couldn’t not put Aoyama in as France

It’s literally a match made in Heaven guys cmon

They’re both sparkling, flamboyant and fabulous blondies

Although sometimes their attitude can be interpreted as holier-than-thou, really they just know that they’re amazing and don’t care what people think (we stan confident kings 😤)

They also know that they deserve the best luxuries in life, and definitely won’t settle for anything else

In terms of courage, they’re pretty much on the same level; they get scared easily and will more than likely either back out of the challenge or give up the moment they feel tired

The difference is, France will never regain whatever bravery he had before the French Revolution, but Aoyama is slowly building his courage up in his journey to become a hero

They also take things in stride, willingly or unwillingly (whether it be an ugly outfit or a defeat, they won’t be a sore loser lmao)

While not necessarily flirty like France, Aoyama can still charm people with his whims. Also, their relationship towards people that they can’t charm kind of mirrors one another? (Might be reaching here lmao)

I do think though sometimes that Aoyama shows some similarities with Poland/2P!Romano, but he has the most similarities with France so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Toga Himiko as Russia

You may say she’s more like Belarus but nay nay I say

Belarus is the more kind of ‘stoic’ cruel in my mind; she doesn’t show much emotion besides annoyance and getting angry

Russia however

He’s ‘childishly’ cruel- looks innocent but is capable of some horrible, monstrous things.

Even though his face says otherwise, he does take some glee in torturing harming others (like, a lot)

Toga also does this, but in a much more obvious way lmao. She’s a villain, who drinks blood, there’s no doubt she hasn’t killed anyone. She also takes a lot more pleasure from hurting people than Russia does

They not that close with people, but the ones they are close to they are immensely protective of (Toga and the LOV, Russia and his sisters)

They also are capable of being highly intelligent, knowing more than what people think they know (Toga helping Twice our, and I high key headcanon Russia as a manipulative and cunning bastard who’s done many horrible things to people to get his way)

(I still love you Ivan)

I think this goes without saying but they’re really really violent

Russia just likes using his magic metal pipe of pain, and Toga likes her knives

They also have some really shitty pasts that have lead them to be who they are today

They may look cute on the outside, but they are oh so very cruel on the inside

Shota Aizawa as China

Haha, old man syndrome-

These two have more in common than you’d think

First off, they have that wisdom that comes with age, and are trying to get the younger ones to learn it (Aizawa does this better lmao)

I can totally see them complaining about ‘kids these days’ even tho they’ve done the same shit back then-

Along with wisdom comes cunning and craft. I headcanon China as a low key genius, so he’s probably on par with Aizawa, if not better (in terms of battle strategy and such)

Even though they come off as strict, all they really want is the best for their students/siblings

They’re both physically strong (China was probably once hella jacked, and Aizawa speaks for himself)

They do tire out quite easily tho so there’s that

Both have a penchant for cute animals like cats (Hello Kitty’s a cat don’t @ me)

On a darker note, they’ve both suffered losses of close friends. While China has definitely lost a lot more, Shirakumo’s ‘death’ still took a huge toll on him. Likewise, China has lost all his ancient friends over the years, making him the last one left (except turkey and Mongolia they don’t matter rn)

Tenya Iida as Germany

You cannot tell me this isn’t also a match made in heaven

They’re literally, at their very core, almost the exact same person

Iida is a stickler for rules- he follows every single one of them. Any and every. Pretty organized too, if I do say so myself

Likewise, Germany is also very strict with rules and regimens. He’s also canonically OCD so mans cannot stand messes (people or things)

It may make them seem like pains in the neck but really it’s the only way they know how to interact

Also have some angsty connections with their brothers

Although not as easily provoked as Germany, Iida can still be just as terrifying (mans tried to kill Stain I mean come on-)

As with nearly all of these characters, they’re both strong as hecc

Also, I feel like both of them are somewhat pressured by what their other family members have accomplished and want to achieve the same thing (Iida coming from a family of superheroes, and Germany really looking up to his father and brother and wanting to be like them but less yknow)

They don’t really know how to communicate well?? Like, of course they can talk and hold conversation but they have difficulty with most social interactions (it’s adorable)

More often than not the louder voice of reason within their friend group (Everyone in the Dekusquad besides Deku himself is the voice of reason lmao, and Germany is a no-nonsense kind of guy)

Smart bois (In Gakuen Hetalia, Germany is said to be one of the smartest students and tutors Italy, and Iida tries his best)

All in all very awkward and loud losers beans that need to learn how to not be so stiff lmao

Shoto Todoroki as Japan

Y’all already know I had to pair the introverts together

Calm, collected and reserved- these two mind their own business like it’s a sports championship lmao

Even though they may come off as intimidating sometimes, in reality they’re just shy and don’t really know the basics of social interaction (more than Germany and Iida lmao)

They’re both fairly strong, too (Todoroki with his icy hot quirk makes him one of the most OP characters in MHA imo, and Japan definitely doesn’t carry around a katana just for show)

Very very convoluted and not so great childhood (Think the sengoku period was Japan’s childhood so he was basically torn up as a kid while Todoroki had to deal with Endebitch)

Also both pretty smart??? Like, high key they’re both very intelligent and skilled

Both their friends are slowly helping them get out of that super duper introverted mindset, but the poor bbs are still trying to learn how to be a lot less stiffe

They’re also really into architecture esp traditional Japanese architecture (canon in both)

I honestly think they’d get along pretty well if they met, tbh

(Japan would get him into anime and manga and the bookworm in Todoroki can’t resist)

The strange circumstance of Italy

Honestly, I could not find anyone in MHA that was remotely similar to Italy

I was very close to putting in Mina or Nejire, since those two come to mind whenever I think of bright and bubbly (Maybe Kirishima too, but it just doesn’t fit)

So while those two are pretty much the most fitting I feel, they don’t completely encompass his character enough yonow?

Like, I genuinely cannot find anyone who is similar enough to compare him to

So for now, until I can find a suitable pick, Italy won’t have a MHA character to be paired up with 😔 sorry guys

—

What do you guys think? Do you agree or do you think different characters should be put in place?

If this gets enough notes, I might make a part 2 including female nations and the others (or whatever characters you guys request)

Requests are still open! You can ask for edits or character imagines/headcanons!

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

two years too late, chapter f o u r t e e n 

You’d pulled your hat low over your face, sunglasses pressed up to your cheeks to ensure some level of privacy. You’d been recognized three times already--which was definitely a new record for the same 24 time span. 

“Jesus,” Jake laughed when the third girl walked away. “Used to think we’d only have to deal with one famous friend.”

You pushed away from him, skates gliding on the clean ice in Central Park. It’d been a hike and a half up to the Northeast corner in the first place, and now all you wanted was to skate in peace. 

“M’sorry--I wish I could make it not happen.” A beat of silence when none of them responded. “Yknow, that’s why I didn’t want to tell anyone at work about me and Harry being friends. I work in a field where it’s my job to talk about celebrities. I didn’t want to have to do it on my lunch break, too.”

You wouldn’t have been so straightforward with them if Harry had tagged along. He blamed his absence on a last minute meeting, but it offered a breath of fresh air and some space to actually breathe it. 

“I get it,” Bryn said, skating to catch up with you in front of the others. Jessie clung to the wall with Adam, Jake tried his best to not skate circles around all of you. 

“You do?”

“I do,” she nodded, linking her arm in yours. “Some of my coworkers know and they’ve been all over me trying to get tickets for the tour. I don’t tell Harry that, though--he’d feel obligated to hand ‘em over.”

“Exactly. I just didn’t want to deal with it.”

“It can be kind of cool, you know. I told my boss about it and he let me take a day off from work once without even using PTO cause Harry was in town,” Adam’s mouth was stretched into a silly smile. 

“Your boss is a wanker,” Jessie said. “And apparently he’s a pushover too.”

“He is both of those things, yes,” Adam laughed. 

Jake slowed down to fall back into the group. “So Smalls, what are you going to do about the interview?”

Another groan from your lips, two little boys skated past you, pushing against each other’s big winter coats to beat the other to the exit. “Nothing. Maybe just not do it.”

“Oh shut up,” Jessie said. “You have to.”

“I know,” you sighed. “S’the biggest story I’ve gotten. And it’s not that I totally don’t want people to know I knew him--it’s more that my boss will be livid when she finds out I’ve lied to her all this time.”

“You can’t give it to someone else?” Bryn’s head tilted to the side, Jake’s eyebrows went north. 

“S’an idea. Have a coworker who could take it on? You could fake pneumonia. Be out of commission for a week or two.”

“Might as well,” you laughed.

“Y’know, Smalls,” Adam offered a sympathetic look. “He was pretty upset last night.”

“He was? About what?”

“That you downplayed everything so much.”

“Alright, maybe s’not the time,” Jessie tried to defuse the situation, as if Adam’s words didn’t strike up curiosity in your bones. 

“What do you mean?”

“He really likes you,” Adam said. “I think he’s sad it didn’t work.”

“Okay,” you spun around to face him, stopping dead in your icy tracks. “He was dating someone else at first--and he didn’t tell me. I had to see photos of them online and confront him!”

“He should have told you,” Jake said, now skating backwards around Bryn. “But he really only saw her to end it. He told me.”

Bryn let out a short laugh. “And you believe him?” 

“You don’t?” Adam shot back.

“I dunno,” she said. “I mean, why wouldn’t he have just told her if he ended it? S’not a big deal that he was seeing someone. It happens!”

You held up a hand, hoping to silence them without having to get loud. “S’between me and him, alright? I appreciate the concern for both of us,” you shot Adam a pointed look, “but s’fine.”

“We’ve been trying to trust the two of you to figure it out for a decade, Y/N,” Jessie let out a breath as if she’d been keeping it in for ages. “Feels like you could both use a little help.”

“We don’t need help. I just--I need space,” you said. 

And it was true--at first you were sure you’d never want to speak to him again. When the gang first showed up you were convinced that you’d have a miserable time in his presence and be counting down the days until they left, freeing you from any obligation to interact with him. 

But now, after museum glimpses of normalcy before Jessie’s outburst, you were wondering if maybe you should have coffee--just the two of you--after they left. 

And maybe you’d get something close. The next morning when you were sat on Harry’s leather sofa for the last time as a group of six, he made some joke about how you never could seem to remember where the wine glasses were. It felt almost like he was testing the water--seeing where things stood as two people who were about to be set free into a busy city with no real reason now to see each other. Unless you wanted to. 

And when you hugged them all goodbye in the lobby, watching as Roger rebuilt the mountain of luggage in his car, you felt like maybe now was the time to say something. But he said it first. 

The last door was shut, Jake’s outline barely visible through the tinted glass as Roger put the car in drive.

“D’ya want a cup of tea?”

You looked up at him, a swell in your chest and an answer from your lips before he could take it back. “Sure.” Up the lift and into his flat, the kettle on the stove while you sat at the counter. 

“Thanks for having them come,” you said, shoulders up to your ears. “Even though things were weird, for a minute.”

“Course,” he said, arms crossed over his chest. A long pause, enough quiet to hear the heating kick on and a siren outside the thick windows. “You know, Y/N, I want to be friends with you.”

You looked up at him, your heart in your stomach at his words--a true sign that you wanted more, as if you hadn’t known until he offered words that fell short. “Oh,” you said. “Okay.”

He shifted on his feet, his eyes bringing heat to your face when you finally looked back up at him. “Okay?” He laughed a little, leaning forward on the counter. “S’all you have to say?”

“I don’t know what to say, Harry--fine, we can be friends.”

His eyes narrowed in your face, he licked his lips before parting them to speak. “Are you even curious about my side of it?”

“You already tried to explain your way out of it, Harry. What else do you have t’say?”

“I just want you to listen to me!” His voice was more emotional than usual, as if the tightrope you’d both been walking on had suddenly wrapped around his heart. 

“I already did listen!”

“No, Smalls, you didn’t, really.”

“So--okay, then. You want me to agree with you, forgive you really, not listen,” you corrected. He rolled his eyes at that. 

A text from Jessie lit up your phone, his did the same thing only a few inches away. You sighed, thumbing back a reply, making them promise to keep you updated on their travel home. 

He waited--patiently watching as you replied and set it back on the granite counter. When you looked up at him, he searched your face. “I should have told you.”

“I know,” you said. 

“I was too afraid to tell you because everything was going well. For the first time ever, really. Felt too good to be true and I was afraid I’d fuck it up if I admitted that I had seen her.”

“I get it.”

“You do?”

A nod. 

“Are you still mad?”

“I don’t know, Harry--I’m exhausted, is what I am.” He didn’t say anything, his eyes begged you to continue. “I can’t do the back and forth anymore. The friends, not friends, talking, not talking. S’been an exhausting eight years since you left home. Maybe not for you, but it has been for me.”

The kettle whistled, he pulled it off before it could scream and flipped off the burner. His voice was quiet. “I know.”

“I never knew if I was going to see you or hear from you and I don’t want to have some weird type of relationship with you that isn’t,” a pause, searching for the word when he slid a teacup across the counter. “Stable.”

“I want it to be stable.”

“I think the only way for us to have that is just,” you trailed off when he nodded, set his tea on the counter and traced a pattern on the counter with just one finger. 

“To be friends.”

“Yeah.”

You only stayed for another ten minutes, finished the tea and laughed at a picture of his sister’s new cat. He paused awkwardly at the door when you said goodbye, a hand shoved into his pocket before he could let it wrap around you.

**

Carly brushed at her hair with her fingers--desperate to go out into the sunny weather for lunch. She stood over your cube, watching as you finished typing a list on the best memes from last week’s episode of the Bachelor. 

“S’that the Harry story?” She whispered as if it was still a secret, as if you didn’t give the same nervous update in staff meeting every week._ S’going well_, you’d say. Making good progress. 

No one needed to know you were lying, that is, except for Carly. 

“No,” you rolled your eyes, clicking out of your story so it’d be queued up for Gabrielle to edit and proof. “S’taking forever, honestly. I haven’t got the slightest clue how to do it. I was planning on actually taking some time tonight to give it another go.”

You grabbed for your wallet, tugging your coat on before you followed her out of your space. 

“How’ve things been with him? Still, y’know, fighting over wine?” She offered a smirk, one that threatened to be challenging, but you weren’t in the mood to divulge more. 

“S’fine, we’re over it.”

She pressed the button for the lift, looked up to see the bright green numbers start to descend above the doors. “Having everyone in town was good, right?”

“Yeah, a lot of fun, turned twenty-four. You know, a real wild week out of the office.” 

You stepped inside and rode it down, shifting aside for other people to cram on for the lunch time rush. When you found your way down the block, she pressed harder. “Any idea what you’re going to do about Whitney?”

You shook your head, thankful for the oversized sunglasses that shielded from the winter sun. 

“D’you think you could just lie? Just write as if you don’t know him and hope for the best?”

“If only I’d be so lucky,” you laughed. “Just doesn’t seem realistic. M’still surprised that people haven’t put it together. I made all of my friends delete photos or go private or whatever on social media.”

“Right,” she nodded, a pause at the intersection. “Any more obnoxious tweets?” 

“Only one that I saw that made it seem like they’ll figure it out eventually.” She raised her brows with intrigue. “Someone said a picture of me looked a lot like a different picture of me from a few years ago.”

She let out a noise of concern, shoving past someone who moved too slow through the crosswalk. “What do you think you’ll do, then?”

“I’ve got to tell her at some point. The question is how.”

“D’you think she’ll fire you?”

“Don’t know,” you said, voice lower now. “Wouldn’t be surprised. So, I dunno. Maybe I should look for other jobs.”

She let her mouth pull to one side of her face, sympathy clouding her eyes. She let it go, though, changing the topic to a new bar she’d tried over the weekend and a partially successful date she’s had on Saturday. He at least split the check with me, she laughed, which is better than the last one who made me pay. 

You ate on the plush red sofas on the twenty-second floor, pretended like the dread of telling Whitney didn’t crop up inside of you every time she popped her pretty head out of her pretty office. 

“You know,” Carly’s voice was low when you tossed your take out in the bin. “If you really don’t want to write it, see if she’ll let you transfer it to someone. M’super busy, but, I would obviously jump at that opportunity,” she stifled a grin that tried to break loose on her cheeks. 

“Tried that,” you said, defeated. “I asked Whitney why she didn’t give it to you in the first place seeing as you’ve always been a fan.”

“What? You did?” Carly stopped in her tracks, her face a different shade of winter pale than it had been. “What did she say?”

“I dunno, Carly, something dumb. It was a while ago, I don’t remember,” it was a lie, but you weren’t about to tell her that. 

“Oh come on, she must have given a reason why she wanted you to do it.” She fell back into step with you now, her eyes still trained on your face with purpose.

You let out a sigh, wishing you could crawl into the safe reprieve of warm sheets--specifically ones that still had a lingering smell of a certain someone. “I dunno, something about wanting it to come from someone less biased, or a more professional outlook, it wasn’t a big deal.”

“What?” She seemed to whisper-hiss in your ear, her fingers wrapping around your elbow to slow you down. “She thought I’d be unprofessional?”

“No, no--that’s not what she said. I told you I don’t even remember! She just wanted me to do it since she thought I wasn’t a fan.”

Her face fell, you couldn’t tell which emotion had taken hold of her. Her eyebrows dipped together and she pursed her lips. “That’s shitty of her--I wouldn’t have been unprofessional!”

“Carly,” you stopped now, turning to face her and ready to backtrack. You knew that Whitney hadn’t been the nicest about her reasoning, but you weren’t about to get into it. “Relax--she was just trying to throw me a bone, remember? She knew I was pissed about being stuck on lists and she was trying to do something nice.”

She let out a sigh, reaching up to fix her pony tail that fell over her shoulder. “If she’d given it to me you wouldn’t be in this mess. She wouldn’t be in this mess with you. Our entire company wouldn’t be in this mess.” 

“S’not a mess,” you defended, head pulled away from her in offense. “M’sorting it out, I told you.”

“Right, Y/N, the blurred lines in your friendship with a subject aren’t problematic at all.” She put air quotes around the platonic label, immediately pulling a scoff from your mouth. 

“What’s that--” you let your fingers bend like hers had, “--supposed to mean?” 

She pulled you into her own cube, small enough to offer privacy but big enough to fit the two of you. “You really haven’t slept with him? You’ve never even kissed? Find it hard to believe with the way he looks at you!”

You inhaled and held it, eyes on her as you contemplated just blowing it all. Her lips curled up at the corners a bit, a laugh from her lips and a softened expression. “Y/N--just admit it. Aside from the fact that you’re writing about him it’s not a big deal. I can handle the fact that him and I will never work out,” she teased. 

“I can’t tell you all about it here,” you said, voice quiet as you scanned the room to make sure no one else had heard. 

“Fine,” she nodded. “Then let’s do dinner tomorrow night.”

So when you were alone on your own sofa that night, you begged your brain to try to come up with something good enough to publish. You’d lit a candle, put on some music, and drew the curtains. Only a few steps short of a satanic ritual after Alyssa left to meet Owen’s friends. She’d offered to bring you along, but you said you needed the space. 

What you didn’t tell her was that you needed the space to cry or freak out or experience whatever would come pouring out of you when you finally had a minute to process the last few months. 

You’d never been much of a crier--save for a good shower sob or drunken outburst--and now wasn’t much different. You sat at first and stared at your computer screen, bullet points scattered a blank white page that mocked you. 

Friends. You and Harry were friends. He’d been one for a long time, really. Someone who knew you better than most people and someone who knew exactly how to piss you off and make up for it in the same moment. 

You’d been walking a tightrope for the last decade, pushing and pulling and wondering when or if it would give. Separated by oceans or continents and still dreaming that one day your lives would align again. 

And they have, you know that now. But they’ve aligned in a way that felt messier than before--which you didn’t know was possible. 

The version of Harry that Whitney wanted you to write about was someone you didn’t know--one with perfectly coiffed hair and a personal assistant. So you decided that if you didn’t know how to tell the story of that Harry, the one who had celebrities on speed dial and didn’t hesitate to order top shelf liquor, you wouldn’t. You’d tell the story of your Harry. 

And when you did that, the words fell onto the keyboard and jumped onto paper, promising that the truth was better than any fiction you could craft. 

**

A text from Alyssa the next morning made your stomach sink to your feet. 

Alyssa (8:43am): Okay, not to ruin your day so early, but I just saw these.

Pictured from LA. Ones that you could easily explain. You could find them on instagram and defend your case in the comments. See that bag? It’s got a laptop and tape recorder inside. For professional purposes only.

You let a sigh escape your lips, fine, it was fine. It wasn’t like people didn’t know that you knew Harry at all--it was really just a secret now that you’d known him for so long. Or, at least, it was a secret until you could tell Whitney yourself. 

You’d decided--after staring at the blinking cursor on your screen for a good three hours the night before--that you wanted to at least give her the story before you really came out with it. That way, in case you somehow managed to catch her on a day where she was willing to overlook unprofessionalism, unethical behavior, and an altogether shitty situation, she at least had the chance to realize how skillful of a writer you were. 

You hoped that after an eventful and exhausting few months the universe had some kind of good karma coming your way. But then the guilt of lying set in and you were back to planning an exit strategy and a plan B for what would happen if Whitney didn’t see the good in you. 

You thumbed out a response to Alyssa right after you got off the subway. 

Y/N L/N (8:47am): ugggghhhh

Y/N L/N (8:47am): at least no one has put it all together yet

Which was true. You only had to deal with the mess you’d made for a few more days. Your story was due on Friday, Harry left for tour a few days after, and hopefully, things could return to some semblance of normal. Though you couldn’t quite imagine what normal would look like now. 

You climbed the steps up to street level, thankful that the sun had decided to fight its way through the late February cloud cover. When you were upstairs and at your desk, another message came through that you weren’t quite expecting. 

Pat Martin (9:01am): Would love to grab dinner or a drink one night this week if you’re free!

You stared at it for a second, reading over the words a few times before you were able to make any sense of them. A date--this time you were sure of it. 

But did you want that? Did you want to blur the lines between professionalism and romance for the second time in six weeks?

You put your phone face down on your desk, booted up your computer and then checked email. Whitney strolled by you with a bagel in hand, a smile on her face, and a pep in her step. 

“How’s the big story coming?”

“Good,” you said, a solemn nod before you blinked twice, a small smile on your face. “Worked on it last night.”

It was probably the first honest response you’d given her about it. She adjusted the bagel in her grasp, crinkling the wax paper that kept her hands clean. “Can’t wait to read it. You’ll give it to me by Friday?”

“Uh huh,” you nodded again, praying she couldn’t smell the fear in you. 

When she left you alone at your paper-cluttered desk, you typed out a response to Pat before you could overthink it. 

Y/N L/N (9:06am): Sure! Any chance you’re free tonight? 

He was quick to type back--you wondered if he was somewhere in LIC late to work, rushing from the subway or already situated at his desk. 

Pat Martin (9:07am): I can be in the city by 6:30? Wanna meet somewhere near you?

You stared at the message and got lost in thought. It’d been a while since you’d been on a date--at least, one that really felt like one. 

There was a kid at uni after Charlie--a boy from class who always wore these horrific shoes. He was sweet and nice but nothing about him sent a spark through you. In fact, you felt altogether quite unimpressed with his presence after 45 minutes so you cut the date short and headed back to your dorm. 

You hoped that this would be different--that Pat wouldn’t want to talk about work the entire time and that maybe he’d walk you home. 

More than anything, though, you hoped he’d numb the ache in your chest for Harry. 

“Morning,” Carly’s blonde hair was blonder than the day before, loose curls falling around her shoulders. “Care to brainstorm with me for new topics in twenty?”

“Sure,” you said, straightening your posture as if you hadn’t just been pulled away into a daydream of men. “Yeah, wanna grab the conference room downstairs?”

She agreed and laughed hysterically when you told her about your set up the night before. Only needed a candle and a picture of him! She teased, if you chanted loud enough you probably could have summoned him. The afternoon slipped out of your hands, quick and busy, and when the sun was seeping between the cracks of tall buildings, you headed for the bar down the street where you’d agreed to meet Pat. 

When your arm was outstretched for the door, your phone started buzzing in your pocket. You pulled it out, unsure of who needed you or who would skip straight to a phone call rather than a text. 

But of course, Harry’s name and a stupid selfie he’d taken only a few weeks back lit up your screen. Your finger hovered over the decline button. Three rings, four, then your thumb hit the green button, feet frozen on the sidewalk. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, Smalls--s’me. What--uh, what are you up to?”

“Just got out of work,” you said, true. “Grabbing a drink with Carly.”

“Oh, nice,” he paused for a second but then got right to it. “Listen--I have a thing on Thursday night. A dinner thing. I was wondering if you’d want to tag along?”

You were quiet, teeth tugging at your bottom lip when a gust of winter air blew. “As, like, a date?”

“N--no. Not as a date if you don’t want it to be as a date.”

“I thought we were just friends.”

“We are.”

“Okay.”

“Okay you’ll come?”

“Okay I’ll think about it,” you told him, a firmness in your voice that you didn’t think you’d ever used with him before. A firmness that hindered any hope in his response. 

“Oh--yeah. Alright. I’ll uh, I’ll talk to you later, then.”

“Okay,” you hung up without a farewell, shoving the phone back in your pocket before taking another deep breath. An event? You had no idea what that would entail or what you were supposed to wear or say or do. It felt too vague to commit to and yet too interesting and intriguing to decline. So you tucked the decision away in your mind, saving it for a conversation with Alyssa and maybe even a glass of wine over FaceTime with Jessie and Bryn.

You pushed the door open and stepped inside from the stinging cold. Pat was already there--a stool at the bar with his jacket still on. He offered a side hug when you walked up beside him, a somewhat sheepish grin sat lazily on his face. 

“How was your day?” He asked in greeting, settling back into his seat.

You let out a sigh and nodded. “Good, fine. Starving though.”

“Best nachos in the city, here, so that’s good.”

The bartender materialized in front of you, eyebrows raised to take your order. 

“I’ll do a Blue Moon,” Pat leaned forward a little when he ordered, his eyes fleeting over to you. “And the nachos.”

“I will also do a Blue Moon,” you nodded, a smile in his direction once you were alone again.

“Why the sigh about work?” He folded his hands together on the dark wooden counter, scratched and dents told the stories of customers past. 

“Just busy, is all. Big story coming up.”

“Yeah? What about?”

“Harry Styles, actually. An interview.”

His eyes went wide, the glow of neon wall decor lit up his irises in the dim room. “S’a big deal.”

“Yeah, so the stress level is a bit higher than usual.”

“Understandable. Interviewing one of the biggest celebrities in the world would certainly leave me with a lot of sleepless nights.”

You nodded, biting your lip to keep from telling him the truth. It was harder than that, really, seeing as you had to fight the feelings in your heart and all the while deal with a level of confusion--both professionally and personally--that you’d never known before. 

You returned the pleasantry. “How was your day? Anything new and exciting at Digitize?”

“Not really--mostly spent the day looking forward to this,” he offered you a cheeky smirk, pulling his eyes back down to his hands when the bartender delivered two glasses--foam reaching up to the rims. He picked his up and held it in the air, waiting for you to let yours clink against his.

“Cheers,” you said, the drink jumped over the edged and trickled its way down to your hand. “To a Tuesday night.”

He was nice--he told you about his brother and his favorite band. He talked about New York and wanted to hear all about England._ Is it true that everyone has to curtsey or bow to the Queen?_ He asked. 

Only if you’re lucky enough to meet her, you told him. 

He was intrigued by your desire to move west--to find some solace in the States and give up the opportunities that surely would have been afforded to you if you moved to London. A fair question, absolutely, but you weren’t quite at the point to give him the truth. 

Staying in London meant a higher likelihood of having to deal with Harry, bumping into him at work events or covering different things he did--or at least, so you thought. 

So you didn’t tell him everything he probably would have liked to know. You left out pieces of your life--details like the LA trip or your recent birthday celebrations didn’t seem like they were appropriate topics of conversation for only one drink and a plate of nachos in. 

And you wondered when he walked you back to the subway if you’d ever get to that point with him, because the moment his lips touched yours, quick and chaste and extremely politely, your cellphone started to feel like it was burning a hole in your pocket.

The N train pulled up and you hugged him goodbye, promising to see each other again soon. But when the doors shut between you and the rest of the world, your fingers typed out a message and pressed send before you could think better of it. 

Y/N L/N (7:15pm): What do I have to wear if I come?

come talk to me about tytl

read the other parts here

AN: on the shorter side but you best all be gearing up for a wild FINAL FEW CHAPTERS. Yes, that’s right. Either chap 15 or 16 will be the end...still writing and editing all that so stay tuned! so much love to all of you who’ve tagged along on this wild ride!!! 

tag list:  @clorenafila @ainsleesolareclipse @castawaycths @harryspirate @wanderlustiing @ursamajor603 @thurhomish @omgsharry  @stepping-into-the-light @rachkon @jdcharliewhiskey  @shawnsblue  @gendryia @g0bl1nqueen  @laula843  @flooome  @a-woman-without-a-plan@awomanindeniall  @shaw-nm @staceystoleyourheart @ohprettylittlemind-deactivated2 @anssu-amry @my-fandomful-life2 @stylesfantasy @bookingbee  @mleestiles  @haute-romance-quotidienne  @craic-head-horan @talk-british-2-me-britbritharry @at-least-im-1 @paigemck00 @rawmeharry @pinkpolaroidgirl @blackxxmagicc @sksspotkitty @nearbyou @kalesouffle @sunnflowerchild @lmk12310 @sing-me-a-song-harry @afterstylesmadeit @myhat @caritocp @liquor-and-intellect @harryinsweatersandbandanas @daydreamsofh

[svpervixen]

If I end up murdered/missing under mysterious circumstances, I just want it on the record that I am fully aware that cheap ass men see me as a threat and may become unhinged enough to end my life in response to the actions I take, which, in regards to my telling the truth and holding shit boys accountable for their shit behavior, knows no bounds. Since I was in middle school, I have ALWAYS spoken up against creeps and abusers, defending the abused, and acknowledging the injustices I witness. Doesnt matter who the fuck you are, if you use your time and energy to make advances towards women who are either just trying to do their fucking jobs, or are walking down the street, or just trying to fucking breathe in public, then you WILL face the consequences of such inhumane, disrespectful actions, coming from a woman who has had ENOUGH. I have ALWAYS made a stand with any asshole who stepped out of line with my own intent of protecting women, and most importantly, letting women know they’re not alone, and someone else can see the harm occurring, and that they’re not crazy for having an emotional reaction to harassment. Doesn’t matter who the fuck it is, my stance is CONSISTENT; could be a total stranger, could be a close friend, family member, I do not care. I learned very early on in my life how disheartening it is to watch so many injustices happen to you, while no one says or does anything to help the situation. I have always vowed to be the exact opposite of that kind of person. I have gotten into screaming matches with grown men who I witnessed sexually harass literal children. I have spent days of my life comforting women who have been abused by a man. And even when I tell myself, “maybe you need to back off”, or, “maybe you’re just too paranoid”, it still never stops me from taking a stand when necessary. When something is wrong, I can’t ignore it. My mind, body, and soul won’t let me. If you have a conscious, you know what notion I’m talking about.

Thursday, I stood up to some sad excuse of a “man” at work. Some 50-60 year old fuck who walks around with a v-neck and gold chain constantly, as if the sparkle of that chain could hide the massive amount of hair loss on his head. You know the type. I’ve been at my job for close to four years now, and he’s a frequent flyer here; likes to complain about a specific department if they do even the slightest thing wrong, but more significantly, spends much of his time hitting on any woman who is in my store, an employee or not, which tells me and everyone else that he has no one to go home to and gets his jimmies off, and is most likely experiencing a mid-life crisis and expects anyone in his path to comply to him, because, yknow, he’s a man, and he’s white-passing. He spent a good ten minutes the other night making useless, uncomfortable conversation with one of my coworkers. He set to leave without a “big” fuss and I ALMOST let it go. But, my convictions moved me, yet again, so I ended up approaching him. I told him to his face, right beside him (could’ve been arm and arm with the fuck) that as long as he comes in here and talks to my coworkers the way he does, that I will be watching him. I didn’t swear, I didn’t threaten him. All I did was give a voice, give words, to his gross, inappropriate, shady actions, that he would most definitely attempt to cover up as something that it’s not, as unaccountable men frequently do. So many abusive men like to paint the picture as if the victims are overreacting. The only way to fight that idea is to challenge it, and I intend to do so through and through, no matter who it is. The funniest thing to me about this situation was that the only “threat” I made was acknowledging his problematic behavior while actively refusing to back down in the face of his excuses or threats. Sound familiar?

Friday, same pathetic little “man” came into my store, but with the intent of approaching my boss, and telling her all about me and my actions. I was in the office dealing with paperwork while this piece of shit caught my boss at the very last second before she left, after working over 10 hours. Luckily, my boss is a gem of a woman who, rather brilliantly, knows how to balance work relations/personal feelings in a way that I, honestly, never could; she’s a warrior of a woman. I’ll admire her to my deathbed. She set aside any of her own feelings and dealt with the person in a way I simply can’t... simply stuck to facts, and immediately approached the issue with the intent of protecting me when it came to our higher-ups. Because, as the asshole put it, he would “make sure I was fired”.

In the same breaths, he was calling me crazy, which is nothing new for me. Suggested I needed “pills”, and that something was wrong with me. Frequently did the “point-at-head-and-rotate-finger” motion while trying to cut me with his eyes. Even started pointing at me, and shaking, while swearing at me and calling me a crazy bitch. I couldn’t help but notice the fact that my own anxieties were causing me to slowly start shaking as well, but, of course, for entirely different reasons as opposed to him, and every woman reading this knows exactly what I’m talking about. Too bad this time it wasn’t being recorded to be shown off and laughed at later, but hey, if anyone wants to see what I look like breaking down at work, check back in a while!

It’s clear to me why he reacted the way he did, as this is a lesson I’ve been learning for the past several years now; I became a vessel that acknowledged whatever the fuck this man was most insecure about, to put it simply. The fact that my perceivable form is that of a white alternative woman meant he could tap into whatever hatred he has for women while allowing his toxic masculinity to avoid any reasoning or accountability, and eventually, letting his lack of control over a women lead into intimidation and threats towards my well-being to, again, only appease his own paper ego. I could explain that kind of behavior for days, but, I’m going to save it for now; I’ll have more to say in about two weeks.

I go back to work Tuesday and I’m sure I’ll have more to hear about it, since he was soooo adamant about pushing this as high as he needed it to go in order for me to lose my job. So, basically, what a goddamn surprise; an outspoken woman, through valid fear and unwavering determination, made a stand to acknowledge an injustice, and the accused goes on whatever his ultimate defense is, simply to cater to his fragile ego. A tale as old as motherfuckin time itself.

[billhaderlovebot]

beep beep (5) - richie tozier.

@ceruleanrainblues @the-star-above-you @a-second-hand-sorrow @shockwavee @socially-unaccepptable-dameron

the usual sexy stuff and swearing and weed. y'all know the drill.

"i've never been... uh... good at the whole, um, serious thing. but, this is us. this is... our wedding. and i put real effort into this shit. so, get ready, fuckers, because this is a real tearjerker. um, yeah. okay..."

you honestly hadn't trusted richie to write his own vows, but neither of you had wanted them to feel... artificial. you wanted them to be your own. and now he was standing before you, holding your hands in his and tearing up already. big softie.

he had also teared up as you walked down the aisle on wobbly legs, mike on your arm.

"we were... we were owed more time, i think." richie lamented. "we should have done this years ago. i should have married you years ago."

---

richie had known, for a long time, that you were the one he would marry.

it was 1993, and the sun was setting over sleepy little derry, giving the quarry an orange-pink glow and bathing you all in its warmth.

you were all pruning up a little, and it wasn't as warm as it was when you'd come down a few hours previously, but summer was coming to an end, and you wanted to make the most of your last couple weeks of freedom with your favourite people in the world.

richie watched as you sat in the shallows, taking a hit of the sizeable joint between your fingers. you exhaled loudly, leaning your head back toward the watercolour sky.

shades of blush pink and peach and apricot illuminated your skin, the low sun setting a warm glow across the water, and oh, god, he was in love.

you laughed, loud and beautifully obnoxious, at something stan had said, passing him the joint and wiggling your legs in the water. your laugh just so happened to be the losers' favourite sound in the whole world, as it was one of those wonderfully infectious laughs you can't help but laugh along with.

richie had always tried to make you laugh in the hopes that you'd like him, but when you did laugh, he found himself falling in love.

eddie watched on in disapproval, sitting cross legged on the bank behind you.

"when you get lung cancer i will laugh and i will spit on your grave." he grumbled, but took the joint anyway when it was passed back around to him, just as enthusiastically as the rest of you. perhaps he was trying to protest in hopes that it would lessen the guilt he would feel later as he frantically sprayed himself with deodorant to get the smell out, and applied the emergency eyedrops he had bought.

ben, bev, bill and mike were in the middle of a very intense game of chicken. beverly had toppled off of mike's shoulders at least twice, but she had pushed bill back into the water more than four times, shrieking with laughter as, arms flailing, he disappeared under the surface of the lake.

"rich! c'mere." you had caught sight of him and held out your arms in his direction, making cute little grabby hand motions toward him. the look of utter joy on your face warmed him from head to toe, and he smiled as he swam over, dodging bill, who had once again been knocked into the lake by bev. ("stop being such a little bitch, billy.")

you came to meet richie halfway, leaving stan and eds to finish the joint and sinking into the water up to your neck. you immediately attached your lips to his, running both of your hands through his hair because you were stoned and everything felt better under your fingertips.

kissing him was like... a whole other plane of existence. you were joined at the lips, joined at the heart. the sun was going down and it was getting cold, and you were both shaking, and he noted the way you tasted of smoke as he kissed the life from you, the water rippling against his chin. you groaned quietly, and richie smiled into the kiss, ignoring everyone else's exasperated groans because ugh they're making out again ew look at them they're so disgustingly in love.

"you're both whores!" stan all but screamed, and you flipped him off, kissing richie all the more enthusiastically.

and richie broke away just to look at you.

the sun, now casting a deep orange-red light behind you, was almost set, and you were beautiful.

the quiet "hi, babe." that tumbled from your lips made him feel as if everything was right with the world, and, then, staring at you, drinking you in, in all your red-eyed, swollen-lipped, soft-grinning glory, like he was seeing colour for the first time, he knew that if he didn't marry you he would probably die.

---

"but now we're here."

richie cleared his throat, his eyes darting around because if he looked directly you he had no chance of keeping it together. "and i have you for the rest of my life. it took a lot for us to get here, too. god knows how we managed to plan all this. thanks, bevvy."

---

eddie was your best man.

obviously.

eddie was your best everything, to be honest, so it was an easy choice while wedding planning. eddie had been the essential third to your group of three ever since you were kids, and he meant so much to richie, and so much to you that you hadn't even had to think about it.

eddie was going to be the best man. that choice was a no-brainer.

all of the other choices, however, were not.

richie and yourself, apparently, were completely incompetent at any sort of planning whatsoever.

you tried, though, you really did.

you got out the big notebook and a pen and richie pulled up pinterest and you had some serious talks about colour schemes and flower arrangements and the like.

well, sort of.

("can we have, like, yknow, like, those worms..."

"worms?"

"like those worms on strings... yeah, those."

"the googly eyes?"

"the eyes.... yeah, and just..."

"hang them?"

"from the ceiling... yeah. "

"richie?"

"yes?"

"i think that's the best idea you've had since i met you.")

but after consuming copious amounts of alcohol, and only having made one useful decision, the two of you decided that you were not in any state to plan your fucking wedding.

("so... s-so if we get- richard, stop trying to take my clothes off- if we get the worms, do you want the pink- rich, i swear- do you want the pink ones or the blue ones...?")

turning off whatever true crime show was playing in the background, you stumbled, leaning against one another, to the bedroom.

"sex?"

"that's the plan."

but any attempt to undress each other only got half way before you were both asleep atop the bedsheets, snoring lightly, an intoxicated tangle of limbs.

the planner notebook you had been using to write down the essentials lay open and abandoned on the coffee table, the only thing in it being one line of richie's chickenscratch handwriting.

it read: set a place for stanley.

---

richie was really, properly crying now, and the only think keeping him from losing his shit was eddie's hand on his shoulder, and your thumb running across his knuckles.

everyone else was crying, too. not a dry eye in the room.

"almost losing you again... so soon after we had found each other... really put shit into perspective for me, yknow? hospitals, um, suck. and i was so pissed... because... fuck, sorry, fuck... i was, uh, pissed, because all i could think was that we were losing time again."

---

(before the sewer fight)

"kiss me." richie's quiet, shaky voice came from behind you, and you whirled around from the suitcase from which you were trying to put together an outfit more suitable for clown killing.

he took you in his arms almost immediately, bending down to kiss you, but the kiss almost scared you.

it was too tense.

there was too strong an edge to the way he held you close, kissing you as if it were the last time.

"what's wrong?" you murmured, centimetres from his lips, your breath ghosting across them.

"i... i don't know if we'll both come out of this." he admitted in hushed agony, kissing you again, slower. "i won't be able to live with myself if something happens to you." richie kissed you again and again, such raw emotion behind each soft crush of lips that he had to swallow the quiet, broken gasps that spilled from you.

"whatever happens," you breathed, running your thumbs along his cheekbones. "i love you."

"show me." he pleaded, red rimmed eyes locking onto yours with such intent that you almost fell over. "please, just-"

"we have to be quick." you said, and he nodded, pulling you into another long, searing kiss. there was a sort of burning desperation to the way his lips moved, now.

richie shifted your shorts down and slid his hands under your thighs, whispering a low "jump" in your ear. your legs wrapped around his waist, and you gasped as your back hit the wall.

"fuck, rich, hurry the fuck up." you mumbled, tilting your head so as to give him better access to the skin of your neck, to which he was already leaving marks.

"okay, baby." and then he was all but tearing off your shirt, immediately exploring the newly exposed skin with his mouth, teeth included. fuck.

"you're such a prick." you hissed.

"and you might just be the most beautiful thing ever to have existed, sweets." said richie, pushing his glasses up his nose and looking at you with dark, dilated, sex-me-up eyes.

"do something about it then." you challenged.

"anything for you, doll."

richie was pushing you so hard against the wall, that you were surprised you didn't go right through the drywall and topple into eddie's room.

you ran your tongue along his bottom lip and he groaned so fucking loud.

"i love you." you whispered the sentiment against his lips, fumbling at his belt buckle.

"i love you more."

---

richie took a moment to compose himself, allowing you to do the same. your eyes drifted about the room. the absence of both yours and richie's families bothered neither of you.

at the front row, the losers and stanley's empty chair, reminded you that they were the only family you'd ever need.

---

"you fucking what?"

"it was an accident!" richie held his hands up in defense, slumping down next to you on the couch.

"richie, do you ever imagine what it would be like if you'd have gotten enough fucking oxygen at birth?" you snapped, raking your hands across your scalp.

"watch it, or no sex." he said.

"i will never have sex with you ever as long as i live unless you uninvite my mother right the fuck now."

"i couldn't say no!" richie was now flapping his hands about in frustration, looking a little like a cartoon character. "she called me up yelling about the divorce and then i told her about the wedding--"

"my life would be so much easier if your dad had just pulled out." you deadpanned.

"--and i didn't know how to tell her she couldn't come--

"we have to change the venue. she's not coming."

"but that's the beach grease was filmed on, babe, there's no way i--"

"richie, if you don't change the venue, i will fucking castrate you in your fucking sleep."

---

it was raining that day, anyway, so a beach wedding wouldn't have been possible. it was okay, though. richie quite liked the little chapel you had picked out, and the coloured light that filtered through the stained glass windows danced across your skin in a way that reminded him so much of quarry sunsets. it was perfect, really.

"we could have had... so much more, yknow? a normal life. but, instead, we grew up in fucking derry... like idiots from some dumb horror book." you laughed at that. so did the losers. you were the only ones who knew what it really meant. "i promise... i'm going to, um, spend every moment of the rest of my life, the rest of however long we have, showing you how much i love you. and i do... love you, that is. every moment of the rest of fucking time, baby, because god knows we've lost enough."

and you kissed him before the priest even said the words, knocking him backwards into eddie.

your first dance was unconventional.

of course.

richie was nervous. he had practiced this dance so many times, with beverly, with eddie, with fucking bill. (that particular endeavour had been a tough nut to crack.) and you pretended you didn't know, for his sake, because he had tried so hard.

his hands shook as he positioned them on your waist where beverly had taught him.

"i can't dance, babe." he snorted.

"i know you can't." you giggled, kissing his cheek.

you held him close to you, blinking back tears as the first chords of billy joel's vienna drifted quietly from the speakers in the corner.

richie lay his head on your shoulder, murmuring the words softly in your ear and pressing light kisses to the soft skin under it.

about halfway through the song, you realised you didn't actually know how to dance either, which was a relief to him. whatever you ended up doing had to have been acceptable, because, once again, everyone was sobbing.

bev cried, mike cried, ben cried, bill cried. eddie shoved almost his entire hand into his mouth to stifle his tears, because there was no way in fuck richie was seeing him cry.

richie would sooner find himself down in the sewers again than admit it, but he could carry a damn tune.

when the song faded to its soft end, the two of you didn't move for several more seconds, eyes gently closed, foreheads together. (admittedly, richie was quite a bit taller than you, and to lean down a fraction.) it seemed almost wrong to open your eyes and join the rest of the world, but the losers' over-enthusistic applause and cheering pulled you both from the trance as they drowned out everyone else.

"you're beautiful." richie whispered, and your eyes snapped open. you had a feeling he wasn't just talking about your dress. eddie, of all people, had helped you pick it out, following you around the wedding dress outlet centres, hissing profanity at the disheveled women who got in his way and muttering furiously about how he'd sterilise the fuck out of whatever you chose to buy.

"you're beautiful." you sniffed, wiping your watery eyes and pulling him down to kiss you softly.

"why are you two like that?" eddie whined when you sat down at the table you'd put them all on. he was only half joking.

"it is their wedding day, eds." bev shrugged, remembering how gross her and ben had been at their own wedding a few months previously.

"what can i say?" you arranged the skirt of your dress comfortably around you before slinging your legs over richie's. "richie's a whore."

the rest of the party was... eventful.

most notably, the losers club's exclusive, very enthusiastic (and frankly quite dangerous) group dance to uptown girl in which your shoe ended up across the room in the wine cooler on the table you dubbed "friends from work" and bill and mike accidentally threw eddie half way across the room at the final chorus.

there was also the matter of richie and yourself insisting on recreating the "come on eileen" dance from the perks of being a wallflower, but then not remembering any of the moves. losers club exclusive group dance part 2 ensued.

eddie's best man speech was a wreck, mainly because he was absolutely bladdered.

("trash-mouth... trash-mouth fuckin tozier got the girl. nobody thought it would ever happen, i mean ever-")

---

(6 months after the wedding.)

"are we gonna pretend we have kids?" you pondered, crumpling the empty juice pouch in your hands and tossing it onto the steady-growing pile in the corner of the living room. "or are we just going to have to own up to the fact we drank twelve boxes of capri suns between us this week?"

a quiet slurping noise came from beside you as richie drained his own capri-sun, throwing it onto the pile with a flourish of his arms.

"i think that they've come to expect this of us." he said, shifting your legs out of his lap and standing up to answer the door.

"alright!" you heard him call down the hallway, as who you assumed was bev began pounding the doorbell aggressively.

and then the door swung open, and you heard a chorus of cheerful greetings and borderline yelling. ah, your best friends.

the losers came over to the tozier residence almost weekly for drunken antics and the spilling of long overdue tea.

"MRS TOZIER!" mike hollered jovially, bill in tow. they'd been seeing more of each other recently. none of you were able to miss how mike looked at bill when bill wasn't looking. it was how beverly and ben looked at one another, and how you looked at richie every morning you woke up to his face, and all throughout the day when he wasn't looking, and even when he was looking.

"MIKEY!" you yelled back with equally as much gusto, stretching your arms out for a hug, which he gladly returned.

"novelty not wore off, yet?" mike asked, gratefully taking the capri sun you offered to him as he settled next to you on the couch. "you've been married long enough, realised you don't love him yet?"

"oh yeah, no, this is purely a marriage of convenience. he's not that ugly, and i get laid like every day, and all i have to do is pick up his socks and share a bed with him."

richie wasn't impressed, storming back into the room in front of bev, ben and eddie.

"hey, um, ok, well, i actually am having a passionate affair with ben, and, ben's fucking hung. so, there."

richie slumped on the other side of you, grabbing you and blowing a raspberry on the side of your neck.

"seriously, bitch?" you whined, but you wrapped your arms around him all the same.

eddie bustled over to the towering pile of capri-sun packets, a plastic refuse bag in hand that you assumed he'd just pulled from his fanny pack.

"you guys are disgusting." he shoved the packets into the bag with unnecessary force. "you fucking deserve each other."

"tell them why we got kicked out of the drive-in theatre last week, rich." you smirked, leaning into your husband's side. he cleared his throat.

"i, uh..."

"tell them." you pressed.

"we saw titanic-" richie started, quietly, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him.

"oh, god." eddie groaned, storming out of the room in search of a recycling bin.

"-and i, uh... was yelling diving scores as they, uh, jumped off the boat."

"for fucks sake, richie." ben sighed. beverly was borderline cackling. mike and bill just looked disappointed.

"it's not my fault!" richie whined. "my beautiful wife was the one who insisted we recreate the sex scenes as they happened. hand on the window and everything."

"the toziers, everyone." eddie came back into the room, sitting on the ground on a beanbag near the coffee table. "you two should never have been allowed near each other."

"ah, but we were." you chimed in. grabbing richie's face and kissing him obnoxiously. "what say we get piss-drunk and, like, play dumb drinking games. for old times sake?" you suggested when you tore yourself from him, your lips separating with a wet pop. "it's been a while."

---

1993

"what's up, fuckers." you threw up a casual peace sign as you descended into bill's smoke-shrouded basement, stumbling slightly down the stairs and sitting between richie and stanley in the circle that the losers had formed.

richie immediately attached his lips to your neck, pulling you into his side.

"hello to you too, trash-mouth." you grinned. richie looked fucking good.

he'd only gone and got his septum pierced the day before, and you were wary at first, but the little silver horseshoe ring that hung between his nostrils now looked amazing, glinting in the low basement lights. richie wore a deep red, oversized, cable-knit sweater that you could have sworn was yours but you'd smoked a huge joint on the way here and weren't too sure. a black beanie sat on his head, a few errant curls poking out by his forehead and around his ears.

"you're hot." you mumbled.

"you're hot." he grinned against your neck, and lifted his head to kiss your lips, his glasses bumping against your nose.

"yo, whores, truth or dare." beverly said, throwing back about half of the bottle in her hand, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"i fucking hate this game." richie hissed, leaning against your shoulder, sulking.

"truth." you said.

"what's richie's biggest kink?" she leaned forward in the circle, her tongue poking out from between her teeth.

"beverly!" richie was not amused.

"he's really into hair pulling." you sniffed, taking a blunt from between stan's fingers.

"babe!" richie exclaimed. you exhaled in his face.

"is he loud?" bev asked, leaning to take the joint from you.

"BEVERLY!" richie was shouting, now, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"oh, yes. he is." you nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"FUCK!"

"a bit like that, actually."

"this is actual abuse." richie put his head in his hands, edging away from you.

"i love you." you tried, tugging on his sweater and leaning against him.

he had crawled into stanley's lap at this point, curling up like a baby.

"i fucking hate truth or dare." richie sat up and reached for another bottle, allowing you to wrap your arms around him.

---

most of the losers were asleep, curled up in various, not so comfortable looking positions on your couch and beanbags and weird hanging egg chair thingy that you'd insisted on buying.

"where did you come from, babe?" richie sighed, snaking his arms around your waist from behind as you brushed your teeth. "you're fuckin'... perfect."

one thing richie had always remembered, if a little vaguely, was your smell. the smell of sleep and fabric softener and your shampoo. his memory hadn't done it justice, he decided. when he took you in his arms in the chinese restaurant and inhaled deeply as if it were his last breath, filling his lungs with the smell of you and trying to sear into his brain the memory of how you felt inside his arms. because he would forget again, surely.

he hated himself for forgetting you.

"we're married, rich." you pointed out, rinsing your toothbrush and dropping it into the holder. "you're not too bad, yourself."

"i mean it, though." he muttered, pressing the softest of kisses to your jaw. "you're so fuckin'... doll, i, fuck-"

"don't go all shy on me, babe." you teased. "come to bed, yeah? im cold."

he watched as you shuffled off to your shared bedroom, doing that thing you always did when you stretched, making an unnecessary amount of noise. he smiled. that's my baby.

"hey, rich." another voice came from behind him. at the door of the bathroom, small and tentative.

"oh, hey, eds." richie smiled, taking his own toothbrush from the one next to yours, continuing the conversation through the mirror. but there was a somewhat uncomfortable silence in the small room, made worse by the hollow rattling of the toothbrushes.

"i, uh..." eddie shifted his weight, leaning against the doorframe. "i, uh... gotta tell you something, rich."

"knock yourself out, eddie spaghetti."

"im getting a divorce."

"oh, yeah? good, she was a fucking-"

"im with someone. a guy."

"a guy?"

"yeah. his name is, uh, richie, as it happens. well, richard, but, yknow."

"eds-"

"i loved you." eddie blurted. quiet. barely there. "for, uh... so long."

"you-"

"when we were kids. and, and i... you were never out of my head. not for one fucking second. and my mom... god, my fucking mom, she knew. i think she knew. every time you came round she made sure to scrub me a little harder. the soap burned. fuckin, i don't even know, some carbolic shit, or something. but... it was always her, wasn't it? you and her, um, you loved her and you continued to love her for... for fucking ever. and i wanted it to be me, rich."

richie was almost choking on his heart.

"eds, you know i-"

"no, actually, i don't."

"well i-"

"im not... bitter. if that's what you think. because i think the world of her. she's... my best friend, i would do anything for her, rich. and it wouldn't have made sense for you to end up with anyone else.

and im not... pining anymore? this was uh, what i needed. and im with someone, and he loves me, and i love him. so much, i do. and i love... you... and her... "

"eddie, i loved you too, yknow."  richie muttered. the words hung in the air between them like the sword of fuckin' damocles.

"you did?"

"yeah. course i did."

"well, fuck."

"yeah. fuck."

"can i-" eddie held out his arms.

"yeah.",

richie was so used to hugging smaller people that it was natural to rest his chin on eddie's head, enveloping him almost completely. he noted how eddie gripped his shirt a little tighter than was probably necessary.

"you gotta let me meet this guy, yeah?" said richie, muffled against eddie's hair. "you're, like, small and shit. so i gotta make sure he won't break you or something."

"okay, rich." eddie laughed quietly.

when they broke apart, something had changed. there was closure. eddie could go back to his loving boyfriend and richie could go back to his wonderful wife and it was okay. all of it was okay.

it was okay.

---

"g'morning, doll." you had woken up to richie going to town between your legs. which was, um, always a good time.

after he had finished, wiping his lips, wiping you from his lips, he mumbled the term of endearment lowly into your ear, kissing the spot just underneath it, and you almost grabbed his head and pushed him back down there. however, it was cold, and he was warm, so you melted against him, pulling his arm over you.

"hey, baby." you weren't sure if the words had come from you, because you were floating. and half asleep. but they must have done, because richie kissed the back of your neck and pulled you closer to him, if that was possible. "what time is it." you continued, yawning.

"uhh, like, nine." he yawned back.

"ew."

"i know."

"why did you- and not that i'm complaining, because that was great- why did you wake me up, you fucking insane person."

"because they all left, and woke me to tell me they were leaving, and then i was awake, and you weren't, and i was bored, and i wanted to wake you nicely."

"mission fucking accomplished." you sighed, a sleepy grin spreading across your face. "but can we go back to sleep, now?"

"yeah."

"love you, stinky." you mumbled.

"love you more."

[gamerwoo]

Chani: Be Gay, Do Crimes

Characters: Chani x gender neutral reader (featuring sf9 and Wooseok)

Genre/warnings: badboy au, crack, fluff, bein gay and doin crimes because I assume that counts as a warning for some of y’all who hate fun

Word count: 6,777

Summary: In which you’re trying so hard to get your best friend a significant other in between doing some really dumb shit. But maybe the dumb shit you’re focused on doing is distracting you from the dumb person he really wants to be with. 

a/n: this was heavily inspired by Gregory and Mae from Night In The Woods (yknow if Gregg secretly had a crush on Mae) and also that one episode of Spongebob (the “are you feeling it now Mr Krabs” episode) so uh yeah 

“Jeez, it’s about time you showed up,” Chani sighed, folding his arms on the counter of the corner store he worked at. “I have plans.”

“First of all, you’re still on the clock, doofus,” you pointed out, walking up to the counter and leaning against it. “Second, what kind of plans?”

“Crimes,” he smirked.

Your eyebrows raised, interest piqued, “What kind of crimes are we talking here, Kang?”

“Remember how you wanted to steal the principal’s underwear and put it on the head of the school’s mascot statue?”

“Yeah, but Youngbin not only said it could not be done, but we shouldn’t get ourselves into even more trouble after we broke into the sewing club room and stitched a mustache and beard onto the mascot costume.”

“Well, Youngbin isn’t here, is he?”

“...You are absolutely correct.”

You and Chani shared a look that you often shared before doing something stupid. It was a look with a mischievous smile and narrowed eyes that basically said ‘we’re gonna do this and have so much fun’ even though you knew there was a higher chance of getting caught this time. Neither of you ever cared about getting caught, though. That was kinda half the fun.

“When do you get off work?” you asked.

“Right now,” he scoffed, taking off his name tag that he always wore upside-down to piss off his manager and the customers. He leaped over the counter and landed beside you on the other side with a bright grin. “Let’s do crimes!”

“Wait,” you held up a hand to him, “I wanna go to Starbucks first.”

“But you hate their drinks,” he pointed out, a quizzical look on his face.

“Yeah, but they have a new barista that’s really cute,” you shrugged. “I figure I should get her number before our principal kills us for sneaking into his house to get his underwear.”

Chani nodded in understanding, “That seems fair.”

-

You found yourselves standing at the back of the Starbucks that was not too far from where Chani worked. You were surprised and happy to find out that not only was there one cute barista, but two. Chani also confirmed with a slow nod as he looked the two up and down that they were, in fact, very attractive.

“I didn’t know that dude worked here,” you said, taking a bite out of the overpriced cake pop you’d bought just to hit on the baristas.

“I didn’t know you were desperate enough that you’d pay that much for a fucking cake pop,” Chani said with a slight smirk, looking at you with raised eyebrows.

“I would buy anything from either of them if they asked me,” you sighed, not taking your eyes off of the two as they worked to get drinks made.

Taking advantage of your distracted state, Chani leaned over and took the rest of the cake pop in his mouth, dragging it off the stick before chewing it.

“Then go buy another cake pop,” he said around a mouth full of your food.

-

Chani was thankful for the loudness of his motorcycle so he couldn’t hear your teasing. Ever since the cute male barista asked you what your ‘mysterious’ friend’s name was, you couldn’t stop shaking his arm and giggling and telling him he should do something about it. You’d been trying to get Chani in a relationship ever since his last one ended.

He stopped at a light, waiting for the moment it turned green when you leaned around to look at the side of his face that was partially out of view from his helmet.

“Are you gonna text him?” you shouted over the engine.

He just glanced at you, rolled his eyes, and looked away. Even with how long you’d been friends with Chani, you still had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

As soon as the light changed, Chani sped off to your destination. The lights from the windows of the houses and buildings you passed by, and the street lights were the only things lighting up the streets as your arms stayed wound around Chani’s waist. You spent the time on the back of his motorcycle to think about what the plan was once you got to the principal’s house. You’d have to get in somehow, find his room and get a pair of his underwear, and then dip out without being noticed. It would definitely be hard but you were always up for a challenge.

Chani stopped his bike at the side of the road somewhere, taking of his helmet and glancing at you over his shoulder, “It’s probably better if we don’t show up to his place with a loud bike.”

“Good call,” you nodded, getting off the bike before taking off your own helmet. “Do you have ideas on how to do this?”

“We’re not here to do it just yet,” he scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “We’re not prepared to sneak into somebody’s house. We have to work our way up to that.”

You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest, “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

“Because the surprise is part of the fun when it comes to crimes. Now stop being grumpy and let’s go.”

Chani started walking along the sidewalk, so you followed behind him before jogging up to walk beside him, closest to the road. There were hardly any people driving right now, but you thought it made everything you were doing seem that much more mysterious. Therefore, you didn’t mind it.

You weren’t sure what Chani’s plan was, and you also didn’t bother asking since the ‘surprise’ was apparently half the fun. So you just silently followed beside Chani because he was never really one for a lot of conversation anyway.

You walked a few blocks before he turned a corner and kept walking. It wasn’t until you got to a semi-familiar building that you sort of got a hint about Chani’s plan.

“Zuho...?” you asked, looking up at his apartment building.

“Mhmm,” was all he replied with as he walked up the steps and pressed the button to ring his apartment. The boy in question’s deep voice came through, and Chani simply replied with, “It’s me.”

“Come up,” the older boy replied before buzzing the two of you in.

Zuho was...an accomplice. Kind of. He was somebody Chani could go to if he needed assistance that you couldn’t provide, but he typically hated asking Zuho for help because he felt like it was cheating. Zuho somehow had connections with everyone and could get just about anything. As you walked up the steps to Zuho’s apartment, you began to wonder if he could even get his hands on the principal’s underwear...

...That sentence could’ve been worded better.

Zuho opened the door by the time the two of you got to his door. He smirked, gesturing for you both to come in before he closed the door.

“You got it, right?” Chani asked. 

“Somehow, yeah,” Zuho replied as he walked into the small kitchen.

Chani followed him, and you trailed behind Chani. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Zuho or were afraid of him -- okay, maybe you were a little afraid of him -- but you didn’t know him as well as Chani did. He was more like an acquaintance than anything else, so you weren’t really apt to talk to him. 

Zuho grabbed a dull golden key that was on a small keyring off of his counter, dropping it into Chani’s open palm. Chani grinned as he looked at it, like Zuho had given him the key to the whole world.

“What is that...?” you asked quietly, peering over his shoulder at the key.

“Remember Super Mart?” Chani asked as he turned to look at you.

“The high budget Walmart that closed down?” 

“This is the key to Super Mart.”

You looked between Chani and Zuho’s proud smirks, your expression blank. Was there something you weren’t getting here?

“Two questions,” you said, “first off, how did Zuho get the key to Super Mart? And second, why do we need the key to Super Mart?”

“My dad was the store manager for the one in town,” Zuho explained, his smirk still plastered on his face.

“And we need it because we’re going into Super Mart tonight,” Chani replied, shoving the key into his pocket.

“What do we need that’s in Super Mart?” you questioned.

“Do you remember those chips that I hoarded for an entire summer?” he asked.

“The...spicy....cheesy things or whatever...?” you trailed off, not remembering the name but remembering that Chani was stupidly obsessed with them.

“They were sweet ‘n’ spicy cheesy chips, _____,” he stated matter-of-factly, “and Super Mart was the only place that ever sold them. And I require said chips.”

“Chani, you literally work at a corner store. You get chips for free.”

“But they’re not sweet ‘n’ spicy cheesy chips.”

“They’re also not stale! Whatever food is left in that place is going to be well passed its due date!”

“But they’re not special discontinued chips, _____,” Zuho spoke up to defend his friend.

You just rolled your eyes and let out a sigh, “Whatever, can we go now then?”

“Yeah,” Chani replied simply, turning to thank his friend again before he left right on your heels. “Are you ready to have a feast, _____?”

You scoffed, “I’m not eating anything from Super Mart. That place closed a year ago, and everything in there is bound to be disgusting.”

“Then I guess you’re not eating tonight,” he shrugged as he passed you on the stairs. “Good thing you had two cake pops, huh?”

You frowned, almost growling as he taunted you, “You ate the first one, fuckhead!”

-

The mention of cake pops had you back on the cute barista that had asked about Chani. As the two of you walked up to the main door to Super Mart, you were babbling excitedly, wondering if Chani planned on doing anything with this guy that seemed interested in him. But Chani just ignored you in favor of walking in silence.

“Chani, you can’t be alone forever!” you whined.

“I’m not, I’ve dated,” he reminded you as he walked up to the door and inserted the key. “Plus, I have you.”

“Aw,” you cooed, running up behind Chani and placing your hands on his shoulders, “that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!”

As Chani opened the doors, he inhaled deeply like he was exploring a mountain range before coughing up a storm. You began to laugh at him, only to do the same thing when you inevitably inhaled.

“Fuck, it’s dusty in here,” he choked out.

“It’s abandoned, Chani!” you reminded him.

Ignoring your comment, Chani pulled his mini flashlight from his pocket and turned it on, shining it around the store. You didn’t think Super Mart would look so creepy, but it did. It was dusty with a few cobwebs around, and it no doubt probably had small animals and large bugs hanging around somewhere. The place was also massive, which made it that much more concerning about what else could be inside the building with you.

“Let’s find the chips,” Chani declared before walking toward where he recalled the chip aisle to be.

You rushed to follow him, catching up to him and sticking close. Your only source of light was his flashlight because you sure as hell weren’t going to drain your phone battery in case something did happen. You didn’t hold onto him like you wanted to, but only because you knew how he was about being touched. He normally didn’t mind when you did, but he’d sometimes make a face or whine extra loudly when you did, so you kept your hands to yourself.

“Scared?” Chani’s voice suddenly breaking the silence made you jump. He chuckled. “Soooo...yes?”

“We’re in an abandoned building and you want me to not be scared?” you asked.

“I mean...you can like, hold onto me...if you wanna...” he shrugged, his eyes still sweeping left, right, and center.

“I’m not a baby,” you insisted.

But then you heard something scuttle across the floor nearby, and you let out a yip and all but threw yourself into Chani, wrapping both arms around him. He just chuckled and stopped to shine the light where the noise was. Nothing was there anymore, but that only scared you more because you didn’t know what it was or where it went.

“You’re safe,” he assured you, continuing to walk again. He left a few beats of silence before adding on, “and you are a baby.”

“Can we just get your dumb chips and leave?” you grumbled, glad it was dark so Chani couldn’t see how red your cheeks were.

“This way,” he nodded his head to the right and turned that way, going down the chip aisle.

He hummed a random song to himself as his eyes scanned the shelves, looking for the snack in question. If he remembered correctly, they would be right about...

“Here,” Chani smiled to himself, holding the flashlight with his immobile hand -- you were still clutching onto his arm -- so he could grab the chips. “Grab as many as you can.”

“How do you expect us to hold onto bags of chips while we’re on a motorcycle?” you asked.

Chani paused, still gripping a bag of chips as he thought silently. “...Alright, let’s go find the backpacks first.”

You groaned, knowing this meant going deeper into the store, “Chaniiiii!”

“You shouldn’t be afraid,” he sighed, dragging you along down the aisle.

“Why, because you think there’s nothing in here that can hurt me?”

“No, because what’s in here that can hurt you can also sense fear.”

“Chani!”

-

With a backpack now on your shoulders that was filled with bags of the sweet ‘n’ spicy cheesy chips, you and Chani finally made your way out of the store to get on his motorcycle and go back to his place. But there was something waiting outside for you beside his motorcycle.

“When I heard that there were two people hanging out around the Super Mart,” the familiar officer mused as she walked toward you from her car, “I already knew it would be you two.”

“Hi, Officer Song,” you and Chani said in unison, in the same quiet but bored-sounding tone you always used.

Unfortunately for Officer Song, she was usually the one trying to keep up with the two of you. Pretty much every single officer in town and the neighboring city knew of the two of you, and none of them wanted to put up with your shenanigans. Between the dumb shit the two of you would say to annoy the officers in the cop cars, to the idiotic shenanigans that landed you in said cop cars to begin with, you were too much to handle for all of them. Except Officer Song, who was far too level-headed to freak out or get mad -- or if she was mad, she didn’t show it like the officers who would openly yell at you which only caused you and Chani to start giggling.

“Is there a particular reason the two of you were in Super Mart?” she asked. 

“Sweet ‘n’ spicy cheesy chips,” Chani told her brightly while you rolled your eyes.

“Wouldn’t those be out of date, Mr Kang?” she questioned.

“That’s what I said!” you exclaimed. “Who wants expired chips?!”

“I do,” he shrugged. “That’s why we were here, remember?”

You just rolled your eyes.

“Right...” Officer Song nodded, “and how did the two of you get into the store?”

“Picked the lock,” Chani lied with another shrug.

You went along with it, refusing to show any signs that he was lying. But you also knew that if Officer Song decided to search you, she’d find the key, know it belonged to the store manager, and that would also get Zuho in a lot of trouble.

Thankfully, Officer Song knew you were harmless enough to not have anything illegal on your person. She knew well enough you just did minor illegal things, so she never felt the need to search you since the first few times she had to come after you.

“Chani, you know very well that’s illegal,” she scolded.

“I feel like we have the type of relationship where I can be honest with you,” he told her, almost making you break into a smile and start laughing quietly.

Officer Song sighed. She knew the two of you were relatively harmless kids. You were just trying to have some fun. She knew you wouldn’t do anything to cause harm to others, so she couldn’t necessarily be mad.

“I’ll let the two of you off with a warning,” she decided, shifting her weight to one foot. “But no more breaking into Super Mart, and if you eat those chips, Chani, you deserve whatever happens to you.”

“That’s fair,” you nodded, and Chani just shrugged and nodded in agreement.

“Thank you, Officer Song,” the two of you said in unison once again, in the same weird tone.

“You drive safe,” Chani nodded to her, saluting her with two fingers.

She let out a small laugh through her nose, nodding back to the boy, “You too, kids.”

Officer Song waited in her car until the two of you drove off, just to make sure you weren’t going to loiter on the property. But as soon as you were on the back of his bike with both of your helmets on, Chani drove off toward his place.

-

Chani lived in a decently sized house with four other housemates. There was Hwiyoung, who you didn’t see often as he was always either in his room or just not around -- Chani said he often practiced for kickboxing tournaments at the gym. Taeyang, who was often threatening to kick out the other people in the house, but he might’ve been your favorite because of his sarcastic remarks -- especially toward Chani. Rowoon, who was almost always in the kitchen cooking for somebody because he always had to be taking care of somebody -- he was extra nice to you when you came over, and you didn’t know if you liked it or hated it. And finally, there was Dawon, who was the oldest but most immature in the house -- you really weren’t sure if he had lied about his age and that Rowoon was actually the eldest.

When you walked into the house, you could see the light in the kitchen was on, letting you know that Rowoon was definitely in there, as expected. The living room was occupied by Taeyang and Dawon, who were watching some kind of movie and bickering back and forth about it. And, as you predicted, Hwiyoung was nowhere to be seen.

“Chani!” Dawon cheered when he saw him walk passed the doorway to the living room with you following behind him. “Oh, surprise surprise, he brought _____ home again.”

Chani groaned, “Shut up.”

“Don’t be too loud!” Dawon called after the two of you as Chani stalked off to his room with you silently following along.

Once Chani shut the door tightly behind you, he let out a deep sigh. Why couldn’t Dawon just not tease him for two seconds? Even when you weren’t around, he didn’t let it go.

Thankfully for Chani, you always just chalked it up to people assuming the two of you had a thing for each other because you were always hanging out together.

“If you think I’m gonna share those chips with you...” you trailed off, giving Chani a funny look.

“We have regular snacks in the kitchen if you’d rather deal with Rowoon,” he informed you, not turning to look at you as he sat down at his desk with the backpack full of chips.

You walked up behind him, watching over his shoulder as he started taking a few bags out of the backpack, “What’re you planning on doing?”

“You’ll see,” he smirked, turning his head to look up at you. 

“You just have a plan for everything, don’t you?” you smiled as you retreated toward his bed, laying back on it.

“‘Course I do,” he chuckled.

“Even a plan to talk to that cute barista?”

Chani let out a groan, “When will you let that go?”

“When you give me a solid answer,” you replied.

“No, I’m not going to contact the barista,” he stated.

You shot up, staring wide-eyed at the back of Chani’s head, “What? Why? But you even said he was cute!”

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna date him just because he’s cute.”

“Then get to know him!”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Why?”

Chani sighed, putting down whatever he was working on and turning his chair to face you, “Why do I have to date anybody? What if I wanna just be alone for a little while? Maybe I wanna just hang out with my friends and not worry about keeping up with a relationship.”

Despite all the weird shit you and Chani did, and the irrelevant things you’d say to each other, you and Chani did still have a close friendship where the two of you could tell each other anything. And it seemed whenever you slept over at his place, or vice versa, the two of you always ended up having at least one heart-to-heart.

“I mean, you didn’t really seem happy in your last relationship, anyway...” you recalled. Things with Chani and his boyfriend at the time seemed fine at first, but they started to quickly dwindle down in odd stages. “You never said what happened with you and him, either.”

‘I realized I loved somebody else.’

“I realized I didn’t love him,” Chani decided to say, which wasn’t necessarily a lie. “Plus, he didn’t like how you’d always say ‘be gay, do crimes’ because he thought it was ‘excessive and extra’, and I couldn’t be around that negativity.”

That pulled a laugh from you, which made Chani smile, too. 

“Y’know...” you began, pausing because you weren’t sure if this was too cheesy to say, but you were already have a semi-serious talk anyway, so fuck it, “if my significant other didn’t like you or get along with you...I’d drop ‘em.”

Chani’s eyes seemed to light up the tiniest bit, “Really?”

You nodded, “You’re my best friend, Chani. I wouldn’t pick anybody over you.”

He really hoped that statement would be true under any circumstance.

-

You woke up because of loud snoring in your ear. Chani’s snoring was something you’d gotten used to because of all the sleepovers, but between that and the sun streaming in through the windows, it was difficult to stay in your deep slumber.

Chani had fallen into bed beside you, but he was still awake when you’d inevitably passed out. His face was facing you, his cheek squished against the pillow. You felt his body shift slightly under your leg, only then realizing you’d sprawled out one of your legs to lay across his butt while you were sleeping on your stomach like he was. Still, he seemed to not mind it, sleeping soundly.

You reached over lazily, letting your hand drop onto Chani’s back before you started shaking him and groaning, “Chani. Chani, wake up.”

He just hummed in reply, keeping his eyes shut.

“Do you have work today?” you asked.

“Mm... Yeah...” he replied, his voice sounding even deeper from sleep.

You sighed, hoping he wasn’t going to have to go into the corner store.

“So then what’s the plan?” you inquired.

He peeked one eye open, a tired smirk crossing his features, “Crimes.”

You let out a sleepy laugh, letting your own eyes close again, “You just said you have work.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t ask if I was going to work.”

“Touche,” you yawned.

“Don’t yawn, you make me yawn,” Chani whined before letting out a wide yawn to match yours.

You laughed, pushing yourself to sit up and rolling to sit on your butt, “Should we see if Rowoon’s awake to make breakfast?”

Even half asleep, Chani knew it was a bad idea bringing you to the kitchen to have breakfast with his roommates. Unless he wanted to be embarrassed and possibly have Dawon or Taeyang say something to you that he really didn’t want them to say, it would be smart to not go ask Rowoon for breakfast.

“Let’s just grab something on the way,” he decided.

-

“Why are we at the principal’s house?” you asked, not moving to get off of his bike as you just stared at the house in question.

Nothing about Chani’s plan for crimes today had made much sense. First of all, he wanted to do crimes during the day. That meant it was more likely you’d get caught. Second, he grabbed all the sweet ‘n’ spicy cheesy chips and shoved them back into the backpack. They were all piled onto his desk this morning, and you still weren’t sure what he’d done to them, but it didn’t look like he’d eaten them. And now, he had brought them to the principal’s house.

“I have a plan for everything, right?” he asked, nudging you slightly to signal you to get off.

“I mean, I guess...” you shrugged as you finally swung your leg off.

“Then trust me,” he stated as he got off the bike and took his helmet off. He left it on the seat before facing you. “Gimme the backpack.”

You slid the straps off your shoulders and handed him the bag. He began walking up the driveway as you removed your helmet and jogged to catch up with him as he went up to the door. That was still a car in the driveway, but it wasn’t the sleek red one the principal owned. You figured he was working since it was daytime.

Oh, that was why Chani wanted to come here during the day. You still didn’t know why he wanted to come here to begin with, but you at least had one answer.

Chani rang the doorbell before taking a step back and waiting. The door opened, the principal’s son answering it. You recognized him as Jung Wooseok. He was a relatively laid back person, but he definitely wasn’t the brightest. You also knew he did everything he could to keep him and his dad separate while in school because he didn’t want people knowing they were related.

Wooseok scoffed as soon as he looked Chani up and down, “No way you actually got it.”

Chani smirked, holding the backpack out to him, “Way.”

You could see that glimmer in Wooseok’s eyes that he was hopeful -- for what, you still didn’t understand -- but still skeptical as he took the backpack and unzipped it. His eyes widened as he let out an excited gasp, ripping out one of the bags of chips and examining it. He squinted as he read something on the bag before he gave an impressed look to Chani.

“I thought these were impossible to get again, but you really came through, kid,” he stated. “Here.”

Wooseok reached behind the door and grabbed a plastic bag that was tied up. He handed it to Chani before nodding and shutting the door, keeping all the bags of sweet ‘n’ spicy cheesy chips that Chani had been looking for.

“Wait, what?” you asked as Chani simply turned and walked back down the driveway toward his bike. You finally ran after him, falling in step beside him. “You wanted those chips so badly just to give them to Jung Wooseok?”

“To get the underwear, yeah,” he nodded.

Now you were just absolutely lost.

You shook your head, “Wait, what?”

Chani hooked the handles of the bag on one of the handlebars of his motorcycle before he turned to you to explain, “We needed the principal’s underwear for our ultimate crime, right? Well, Wooseok’s the principal’s son. I asked Wooseok ahead of time if he could help me out with this thing I wanted to do, and he said he could get me his dad’s underwear if--”

“That’s a weird sentence...”

“--I could get him the sweet ‘n’ spicy cheesy chips that they used to sell at Super Mart -- but, they had to be in date. So I got the chips, painted the bags last night to change the dates, and gave them to Wooseok. Now we have the underwear, and our ultimate crime is set to go tonight.”

Chani finished his mic-drop-worthy explanation with a smirk and his arms folded over his chest. He looked at you, seeing your mind being blown just by watching your face. He was proud at how much he’d impressed you.

“You really do have a plan for everything,” was all you could think to say.

Chani grinned widely, “Pretty much, yeah.”

-

While you and Chani were waiting for night to fall, one of the things you did was go back to Starbucks. The cute girl wasn’t working, but the cute boy was, and your face immediately lit up, ready to start teasing Chani until you remembered what he had said to you the night before. You cleared your throat and carried on like you would normally.

“Oh, hello again,” the barista smiled, recognizing the two of you when you got to the register. “What can I get you two?”

You both ordered what you wanted, and Chani offered to pay this time since he ate your cake pop the day before. While you went straight over to the pick-up counter, the barista stopped Chani before he could follow behind you.

While you were grabbing straws for your drinks, you didn’t notice that the barista was talking to Chani. You didn’t hear how he asked Chani if he wanted to go out sometime, and you didn’t eavesdrop on how Chani turned the boy down, using you as his excuse.

“Uh, we’re...actually...dating...” Chani lied slowly, not liking the awkward conversation.

It wasn’t until you turned away from the straws and saw Chani walking over with his hands in the pockets of his jeans that you teased him for taking so long.

“Were you checking him out or something?” you snorted.

He just rolled his eyes and ignored you.

-

After what happened at Starbucks, you were convinced Chani was lying to you last night about not liking the barista. You were absolutely sure he must’ve just been embarrassed and didn’t want to say anything to you, so you were back on your bullshit of teasing Chani and trying to get him to ask the barista out.

“You know, I think talking about dating while I’m carrying the underwear of our principal is a little weird,” was all Chani commented as the two of you walked up to the front of the school.

Chani was carrying the plastic bag containing the underwear, and you were just skipping beside him and giggling about the cute barista that liked Chani, and who he obviously must’ve liked because he took longer walking away from the register.

“C’mon, what’s the real reason you don’t wanna ask out the barista?” you asked.

Chani sighed, “Didn’t we go over this already?”

“Yeah, but you lied,” you stated.

Chani’s eyes went wide, his cheeks starting to heat up as he looked at you, “W-wh-- ...H-how’d you figure that?”

“Because you were still at the register even though we’d already paid and stuff,” you shrugged. “So you obviously like him.”

Chani breathed a silent sigh of relief, realizing you didn’t actually know what he thought you did.

“Can we drop this for now?” he asked. “I’m gonna boost you up onto the statue base, and I want you to climb up and put the underwear on its head.”

The golden statue of the school’s mascot was still shining even though it was dark. There were four lights, one at each corner of the tall base, that shone on the statue. You weren’t sure why your school decided to treat this mascot like it was some sort of God, but you were about to disrespect it with the principal’s underwear, so what did it matter now anyway?

You put the handles of the bag around your wrist before placing your hands on the side of the large square base that the statue stood on. You put one foot in Chani’s hands as he squatted down.

“Ready?” he asked, and you nodded. “Jump.”

You pushed off the ground, as he pushed you up with your momentum. Your arms landed on the top of the base, and Chani continued to assist you in getting the rest of your body up. Once you were standing on the base, you looked up at the statue. You could probably climb it pretty easily with the way the mascot was positioned to stand, so you got right to it.

“Be careful!” Chani called up to you, watching as you started to climb the statue. “You might want to take the underwear out of the bag before you start climbing so you don’t have to try to do it when you’re at the top.”

You turned around to look down at Chani, “Where do you expect me to keep it while I’m climbing?”

Chani shrugged, “In your mouth.”

“Ew!” you whined. “I don’t even know if these are clean. Wait, did Wooseok give us clean underwear?”

Again, he shrugged, “I dunno, smell them.”

“No, you do it.”

“You’re the one who has them.”

Thankfully, you managed to come up with an idea. You took the underwear out of the bag, letting the empty plastic bag float down to Chani as you looped the underwear through the hair tie that was on your wrist. And then you began to climb.

Chani watched closely. He wasn’t really sure what he would do if you fell, but he also knew this wasn’t your first time scaling something. There were plenty of instances where you were the one to climb up trees, decrepit fire escapes, and even one time you had to climb up a stripper pole, but that was another story for another time. He believed in you to not get hurt.

“Mission,” you began as you held onto the statue with your legs and the hand that hand the underwear attached to it. You pulled it free with your free hand before placing the underwear on top of the mascot’s head like an ugly hat, “accomplished!”

“Heck yeah, _____!” Chani cheered with a laugh.

You climbed down carefully, feeling slight relief when your feet hit the base. You sat down with your legs off the side, looking down at Chani in front of you.

“Don’t let me break my legs,” you told him.

“I’ll do my best,” he promised, holding his arms up to you.

As you slid off, Chani caught under your arms and did his best to slow your momentum so you wouldn’t hurt yourself when you landed. He grinned at you proudly now that you were back on the ground in front of him.

“This is our best crime yet!” he laughed excitedly.

You turned around to admire your work. The legs of the underwear that moved softly in the breeze served as a makeshift flag, and you decided to salute it for shits and giggles.

“I pledge allegiance to the underwear,” you stated, keeping a serious face.

Chani laughed, imitating you, “We make a pretty good team, right?”

You turned back to Chani, seeing something about his expression seemed a little different. He definitely still looked happy, but now he looked almost...nervous. Only a little, but it was still noticeable.

You decided not to say anything about it, instead answering his question, “Well, duh. But what’re you gonna do when your new boyfriend starts--”

Chani groaned loudly. He couldn’t take it anymore. The only reason he’d done this impossible crime was because you had wanted to. He knew you’d be so impressed with him for putting it together, but you weren’t even enjoying it! You were just bringing up some barista that he had no interest in. You weren’t doing what he thought you would do, which was realize that Chani had done this all for you. You weren’t realizing how much you meant to him.

“Will you stop with that?” he asked. “I don’t like the barista, and I don’t want to date him!”

You were shocked Chani suddenly turned so serious and got upset, “But you like him!”

“No, _____, I don’t.”

“Why not?”

Chani grabbed your arms and pulled you to him as he brought his lips to crash into yours. You were taken by surprise by his actions, but your eyes closed on reflex, just like you were kissing him back on instinct.

...It was just instinct, right? Then why did it feel...kinda right? You’d never thought of Chani as anything more than your best friend, but maybe that was because the two of you were so close with each other that you didn’t feel the need to imagine it.

He pulled away after a few seconds, his face flushed as he looked at you.

“That’s why,” he said quietly. “You are why.”

Part of you wondered how you never realized that Chani felt this way about you. Another part of you knew Chani wasn’t one to show his emotions often.

“Am I an idiot...?” you wondered softly, looking into Chani’s eyes.

He nodded with a laugh, “Absolutely. Now tell me how awesome I am for organizing the ultimate crime for you.”

Chani opened his arms, closing his eyes and grinning as he waited for the oncoming praise. But instead, he felt your arms wrap around him, your body pressed against his in a hug.

But he wouldn’t complain about it. It was way better than verbal praise.

-

The principal was having a meltdown all morning that next day at school. Not only was his underwear on top of the mascot -- and he wouldn’t be able to get it until the janitors managed to find the right equipment to reach it -- but Chani had the idea of writing ‘BE GAY, DO CRIMES’ on the front of the base around the plaque that had the school’s name, date it was founded, and their slogan on it. Not only that, but he wrote the words in pansexual and bisexual colors, which had made you smile when he did it.

“_____!” a familiar voice roared while you were admiring your handiwork, surrounded by students that were giggling and laughing about it. You looked away from the statue to see Youngbin stomping toward you, his hand gripping Chani’s collar and dragging the poor boy behind him. “I know you two did this! I don’t know how you did it, but I know I told you not to do it.”

“Youngbin, do you really think Chani and I could manage to break into the principal’s house, steal his underwear, and then climb the statue to put it up there?” you scoffed.

“Who else says ‘be gay, do crimes’?” he questioned, gesturing with his hand to the vandalism on the base of the statue.

“The internet,” you and Chani shrugged in unison before smirking at each other.

“Alright, then answer me this: why is Jung Wooseok out to get Chani because he apparently made him sick with some discontinued chips from Super Mart?”

“How would I have gotten into Super Mart?” Chani quizzed, giving the older boy an innocent look.

Youngbin growled in frustration, looking like he was about to explode at any second, “I know the two of you had something to do with this, and when I figure out what it is, I’m gonna kill you two.”

As Youngbin stomped off, Chani moved to stand beside you and turned to wave at the retreating elder, “Good luck with that!”

You giggled, nudging Chani’s side, “We’re gonna give him angina at this rate.”

“He probably already has it,” he snorted as he turned to face you. “Anyway, I have a plan for today.”

You gave him an amused look, “What kind of plan?”

“Crimes.”

“Crimes that’ll top this?”

“Crimes that involve you, me, the bleachers by the baseball field, and skipping class,” he smirked, stepping closer to you and taking both of your hands in his.

“Eh, not as iconic as this, but still sounds like fun,” you teased with a giggle as his nose brushed against yours. “Count me in, Kang.”

And then Chani kissed you, right in front of the statue that now read ‘BE GAY, DO CRIMES’.

[tomiyeee]

finished the story quests for bl3 (but barely any of the side missions yet) and i got...Opinions(tm)

(sorry if this doesn’t cut on mobile! also if you want to hide spoilers i’m tagging all my bl3 posts as “bl3 spoilers” so ny’all can blacklist it)

in no particular order:

i honestly wanted to give gearbox some slack and try my best to like this game bc i know people had probably unfairly high expectations for this game given all the build up, but they really just kept letting me down in everything but the graphics

said this before but overall, the characters are all Quite lackluster

^^ tyreen and troy included. adding the word "bitch" to every sentence does not automatically make it funnier

that being said, i super love their backstory + relationship with typhon/nekofeyo-whatever

the character designs are equally boring. moxxi was the only one who got a real improvement imo. lilith and maya are okay. rhys...i dont think i have to explain. lia...i dislike her hair; the black felt like it balanced out her design better and the white streak was interesting and cool but full white just looks bad tbh. zer0 feels less sleek and more bulky which doesnt fit him much. tina lost her pretty color palette and cute outfit. where are all the bright pretty color palettes in general???? there are other colors besides brown and black???? use them?????

ending of pre-sequel: “you will need all the vault hunters you can get” me: “ooh does that mean all the vh’s from previous games are back? i can’t wait to see everyone meet each other! :D” bl3: only nine of them come back, 3 of them die, the rest are involved in maybe one mission at most

boss fights. super. boring. and tedious. i mean this could be partly because i was playing on ps4 which made it extra not fun but if the only reason the fight is difficult is because they have a lot of health...it's not fun or challenging. i want fights like handsome jack with interesting mechanics. i want fights like angel with emotional impact. i want fights like the pre-sequel final boss that i forgot the name of with variation that isnt just "now they have an attack that shines bright lights in ur eyes, covers the whole arena, and can knock you down in one hit im looking at you traunt and killavolt". tyreens fight was the only one that i somewhat enjoyed because of this. all the others were just like "ughhhh again?"

im really enjoying melee amara playstyle. taking out badass enemies in four hits is my jam. this is just my fallout 4 playthrough all over again babey heck yea

typhon just wanted to be a good dad!!! he called tyreen starlight which is adorable!!! he did the best he could and tyreen hated him for it!!! i don’t blame either of them for that tbh, it makes sense from both their perspectives. tyreen definitely should have been more understanding, but she’s a dick so :/ (not saying this is a writing flaw, just a character flaw)

hammerlock needs higher standards in men but i really appreciate the undeniably in-your-face "fuck you" to all gamer dudes

i really. hate. how little the player character seems to matter in the story. in pre-sequel the vh's all had unique dialogue AND npcs would respond, sometimes even with character-specific lines. even when it was the same across vh's, it still felt like the npcs were interacting and speaking directly to them. the player character felt like a character of their own, rather than just a vessel for the player to do quests and kill enemies with or an errand runner for the important characters. i thought that was the direction they were going in with bl3 too but this just feels like bl2 only worse. there’s a separation again between you and the story and it feels like you’re just watching things happen. now ur not just a silent protagonist, but instead your a speaking protagonist who gets completely ignored. whats the point of including unique dialogue if it's not even acknowledged beyond an "uh-huh, moving on"?

sometimes the logic just feels kinda dumb. the twins killed/disabled maya and lilith in a heartbeat, they can literally disintegrate the most powerful beings in the universe, but the vault hunters? absolutely not. they must fight them for 40 minutes and then die.

after the fight with troy, no one even touched tyreen. there's no way they could have thought "yup she's definitely dead, no need to shoot her in the head or anything just to make sure. we didn't do anything to even hurt her, we just assumed." turns out she's 100% alive and gets up to start the apocalypse. who'da thunk! i know they wanted the end to seem more dramatic but it just seems stupid that they could have stopped tyreen like 5 missions earlier had they even the slightest bit of common sense.

lilith was one of the biggest threats to tyreen and troy's whole plan. of course they should leave her alive and simply steal her powers. let's kill the monk siren instead.

i know they didn't include this to give all players a fair experience instead of favoring sirens, but it kinda sucks playing a siren character and it's just completely ignored outside of ur action skill. tyreen and troy are sapping siren powers left and right, but they choose to leave you with yours. when you enter the eridian place with typhon tannis starts glowing because it has "something to do with sirens". what about the one standing right next to her? this applies to bl2 as well...jack i would willingly charge ur vault key for u pls why do u take lilith instead :'(

oh yeah speaking of tannis! i LOVE that she got angels powers. for some reason it just makes me really happy. maybe it's bc i think it's sweet that part of angel survived. maybe it's because it makes for cool fanart. maybe it's just cool. idk. also like that we got a solid explanation of what angel's powers were (influence over technology). i always thought her having control over it in bl2 might've been cuz it was hyperion tech and she had access to it same as she had access to the satellite from bl1. it wasn't super clear since it seemed like she could also materialize things like the ammo during her fight.

that also reminds me: all the dramatic reveals in this game felt kinda badly done.

the very first one with zer0/katagawa. like the whole time i was walking around looking for him i was trying to think why he might've turned/something must have happened to him or rhys. everyone was saying it was undeniably zer0. i finally meet him and take one look at his bright ass maliwan armor and its like. really. you couldnt have made it anymore obvious that thats not zer0. and then his helmet gets knocked off and surprise! it's not him. i totally didnt already figure that out with one glance 10 seconds ago. (maybe even earlier when you got glimpses of him around the building but i always missed it cuz i was looking at the fish tanks n shit)

also the tannis reveal. she was speaking to me in the same way that only known siren characters could. weird unexplained things were happening and seemed to be related to tannis. i wonder if she's a siren? surprise! she's a siren.

tyreen and troy knew about the great vault through some unknown means. typhon was talking about having a son and a daughter who he told stories about the great vault. typhon calls tyreen his daughter a while later and lilith acts surprised like honey ur a little slow, i figured that out several lines ago.

basically i'm not saying they were so obvious that i knew from the beginning of the game; i only figured them out a little before they were outright stated. but it was enough that it kinda ruined the effect and the characters acting surprised only when it was blatantly spelled out for them just made it annoying.

i feel like most of this is pretty negative, but i don’t mean that i hate the game and was miserable playing it. it was honestly okay...like i said i wanted to like it, but gearbox hates me specifically and killed/ruined all my faves just to spite me sooo...*waves hand back and forth in a sort of “ehhh” gesture*. i think my opinion on bl games from most to least fav would be: tftbl, bltps, bl2, bl3, and bl1. so it’s not the worst, but deeefinitely not one of my faves. i mean jack’s not in it (or if he is he doesn’t have a big role) so it’s already at a huge disadvantage. the ending was ok, it was all dramatic n stuff and it kinda makes sense i guess, but it was just about as okay as the rest of the game really. i don’t hate it but it’s not great either yknow?

[wyd-dreams]

my subconscious made me marry jefree star

130420 

 I was standing in a mall in a grocery store, right next to the confections section, where you can always trust the lady behind the counter, a true master of her craft, to pack a piece of cheap fatty cake into a sheet of translucent plastic in a matter of seconds and hand it to your sugar-craving hands. Today however, I was not alone! Next to me stood a girl I know from class, who I’m going to call Sadie just in case she shows up again. IRL I don’t vibe with her but she keeps finding her way into my dreams anyway. 

The lady behind the counter looked at the two of us, squinting, and then challenged us to a food tasting test: she’d give us a piece of something, we’d have to name the ingredients, then we would go to the fish section of the store, get partnered up with some random person to cook the food itself. Sadie and I look at each other in confusion. “Oh fuck, but sure”. This is not the only time in this dream I consented to something weird. 

Anyway, the sweets lady gives Sadie a chunk of sponge cake and a mint-coloured macaron to me. I put it in my mouth. As you do. Still chewing, I say “Cloves, definitely cloves. Also uhh, butter, flour, probably honey? Condensed milk.” As you do? 

The lady’s jaw drops to the floor. She immediately goes “N-nobody’s ever been able to point out the cloves before, how did you know?” 

I take a whole bud out of my mouth like bitch what is this then. I did not, however, tell her that cloves taste like vomit to me. Apparently in this dreamland I got all of the ingredients correct too, so I head to the fish section feeling all proud of my wondrous flavour palette. 

I got partnered up with a lanky middle eastern guy and we got to work. At some point I had the most revolutionary idea of ideas “hey, let’s add sugar into sweets”. Genius. The guy gives me thumbs up and I go around looking for sugar. Little did I know, apparently I stumbled across an oasis of sugar nobody’s been able to find, since walking back with a pack in hands was near impossible. Everybody started clawing at me like a rabid dog, trying snatch the sugar from me. Never fear though, for my cooking comrade charges at me with a shopping cart, picks me up, puts me in the cart and we nyoom out of there. 

We stop in some lounge area on the second floor. How did we get there in a shopping card and, speaking of that, where was the shopping cart? Haven’t got a clue. 

I was looking out the giant window, admiring the lovely pines and casual tornadoes outside, when someone showed me the neat new forum thing someone made. A mixture of a bboard and a daily challenge site, like duolingo but orange and somehow more awful. I don’t remember what the challenges were, perhaps I was too tired from being a culinary genius. What I do remember though, was that the site had a surprisingly functioning chat. It wasn’t amazing, there were no proper notifications or anything, but it did the job. Like a bboard had a weird baby with duolingo AND interpals. Naturally, I start using that function. 

I think I zoned out or something, there’s a gap in my memory, but the next thing I know I’ve said yes (why) to Jeffree fucking Star proposing to me (why) and the guy’s here, sitting on the floor by the wall looking as miserable as ever. Subconscious, wdym?

Now, the interesting part is, my brain somehow managed to make Jeff more confusing than he normally is. In the dream Jeff was explicitly stated to be genderq, used almost exclusively she/her pronouns, was simultaneously doing drag and presenting as they normally do. They were wearing a ghastly pink-lilac amorphous dress thing and their hair wasn’t the iconic bob, it was a choppy, spiky, star-shaped thing. Star, haha, get it. Not that I minded their appearance, it was pretty neat, but like...why Jeff of all people and how the fuck did I say yes. WHY WERE THEY ON THE APP TOO. I feel like this was actually an arranged marriage between a 34y.o. And a 17y.o. Back in the medieval times or some shit, 

So I walk up my fiance Jeffy Jeff and they immediately jump to being all giddy and excited about the wedding. Apparently it was already scheduled to happen on May 24th. Jeff being Jeff, they want to start coordinating the clothing asap. “Cool” I think and the same second we are transported to this giant runway. Jeff is now on about a meter tall stilts, clad in a flowy dress of sunshine golds and yellows, with pineapple-shaped glasses and back to their white bob. Above him there is a counter, a counter of how much money we’re gonna lose of clothing. Gotta love wedding tax amirite? Anyhow, my lovely partnerTM gracefully gestures towards the runway and out comes my classmate Leia, who always shows up in clothing dreams. Neat. She’s on stilts too and is trying to manage walking with reaaaaly fancy frilly pants. She was complaining about them the whole way, but Jeff was amazed anyway. 

What I got from her monologue was that Jeff wanted to see what the guests would wear first and that everyone was bringing their own clothes. I immediately got nervous because I didn’t have anything that would match the level of pizzaz on display here, I didn’t want to be out in one of Jeff’s dresses either because 1) I’m smol 2) no dresses for me, no thank you. I was more anxious about the latter, because I realised I wasn’t out to Jeffy Jeff yet, I was scared they’d reject me or something but at the same time I was hoping they would because about them I started realising “wait I don’t even know them WAIT”. I was losing my shit while my fiance was yelling “THAT’S SPECTACULAR DARLING” in the background. Remember the money counter? Yeah, it showed that actually Jeff was gaining money from all of that.

At some point the fashion show ended and I brought up the courage to go and tell Jeff about my feelings. I go upstairs and they’re on a bed, aggressively making out with some random guy in a buzzcut. Frankly I didn’t care, they can do what they want, instead I went to the window and listened to the birds spilling tea about people I didn’t know. As you do. I walked to the room on the other side of a hallway, which was apparently my sibling’s room, and I found Jeff there, still in their gold dress, just chilling on the floor by the heater. They were petting a rabbit too.

I kneeled beside them, but instead of anything coherent “would she fancy an androgenie” leaves my mouth. Without a shred of doubt they replied with “oh so you don’t know the coda to pilot yet,” and I said “my words exactly luv.” Needless to say, the wedding wasn’t canceled. 

So I went back downstairs and started ranting about it to this random girl with red hair. Mostly about how I don’t even know the person. She looked me dead in the eye and said “you did talk to Skye for years tho.” And I immediately went “shit ur right I do know them,,,,, but  idk if I want to marry yet yknow.” She suggested I at least try to maybe postpone it a month or two and then I remembered that I hadn’t yet told my family about my engagement. 

And then I woke up on a cliffhanger. 

[shady-glasses]

(31) Question For Your OTP - SeroKami

Is it SeroKami? KamiSero? Idk man. @tenseii told me to post this so they could read it so here you are!

Original Post

1. Who in your OTP is the serial butt-slapper and who is constantly getting their beautiful butt slapped?

You would think it's Kaminari? But it's actually Sero. A good slap on the butt after a good training session amongst bro's that leaves Kaminari flustered and red faced mayhaps?

2. Who wants to be immortal and who wants to die before they’re old?

Kaminari is ready to go okay, but Sero is like “death? Nah.. not, yknow, feeling that..”

3. Who smokes and who pulls the cigarette from between their lips every time they try to light one?

Kaminari tried to smoke once in high school to look cool, and Sero would put up a big fuss, which Kaminari actually appreciated because it gave him a perfect excuse to stop and, thank god, he actually hates smoking.

4. Who always has cold hands and who is always warming them up for them?

Sero is a skinny tol boi with zero circulation who always has freezing hands. Kami 'warms them up' (i.e Sero puts them up his shirt and uses his lower back for warmth while smiling as Kaminari shrieks)

5. Who plays candy crush in important meetings and who elbows them in the ribs to make them pay attention?

I'd say Kami, except for instead of candy crush, it's the minecraft pocket edition.

6. Who can fall asleep anywhere (and does) and who has to put them to bed?

I empathize with this cuz?? thats me af?? but I'd say Sero during exams. He probably stays up all night and crashes right after so Kaminari piggy back carries him back to the dorms, but not before drawing on his face.

7. Who is the genius procrastinator who wings every test but still comes away with straight As, and who takes preparation and conscientious work very seriously?

They both kinda stupid lol. But Kaminari is by far the one who tries to 'wing it' the most.

8. Who takes their coffee black and who likes it with milk and two sugars, getting called a pussy by Person A?

Sero doesn't even really like coffee, however, when he has it he takes it b l a c k because unlike SOME people,, hes not a pussy

9. Who initially seems shady but turns out to be a cinnamon bun, and who initially seems like a cinnamon bun but turns out to be shady?

Everyone in 1a thinks Sero is soooooo soft and sooooo friendly, and they almost don't believe the  “one time he filled my shoes with whip cream at a sleep over” stories. And then Kaminari is just trying his best over here, drinking his respecting women juice, staying in his lane (most of the time).

10. Who moans and talks with their mouth full whenever they eat good food, and who tells them to stfu but can’t help laughing?

Kaminari is loud at everything he does and just doing that teenage boy thing where they moan and Sero is like “dude stop” and they make a bunch of over-exaggerated sex moans with a mouthful of cheeseburger and Sero is laughing and trying to cover his mouth like “OHMYGOODNESS, DUDE, STOP WE'RE IN PUBLIC!”

11. Who gives the bear hugs and who is always sidling up to them and snaking their arms around their waist?

Kaminari just like.. hugs.. okay.. like, he and Kirishima are chronic platonic cuddlers, but that doesn't mean he's had his fill of boyfriend hug time so

12. Who still buys juice boxes and fruit snacks to put in their lunch?

Kaminari FOR SURE. He may be a 22 year old pro hero with a real job, but fuck you fruit-by-the-foot still go just as fucking hard as they did when he was five so yes he's still going to eat them

13. Who packs the other’s lunch and who repays them in sexual favours?

You know Sero does the shopping, so that is def where the fruit snacks in Kami's lunch come from so, y'know, Kami has gotta show his appreciation somehow? ;) ;) ;)

14. Who leaves notes in the other’s lunch and who tells them they’re dumb (but secretly has a collection of every note Person A has ever written them)?

They both do! But not just in lunches, also on laptop screens, on the bathroom mirror, on the microwave, etc. Being pro heroes mean it's hard to find time to see each other even when they live together, so little notes get left out to show they were still thinking of the other.

15. Who unconsciously holds their breath the first time they kiss, and who pulls back and says, “Breathe…”?

Ohhhh def Kami, cuz lets be real, its 100% his first kiss, and he's really scared of fucking it up.

But it's short and goes fine, and is so much more perfect than he imagined, and he thought all first kisses were supposed to be awkward but? It wasnt? And all the emotions build in his chest and he's not quite ready to open his eyes yet because it's kind of a lot right now. And he can feel Sero's breath ghost over his lips as he run's a hand through the buzzed blonde hair at the back of his neck and tells him to, “Breath” with a little laugh.

16. Who gets arrested for a petty crime they committed by accident and who bails them out?

They heroes so probably no criminal records BUT Kami did get detained y police after a drunken fist fight with Mina in a denny's parking lot (long story, but she won).

17. Who grabs the other’s hand just as they’re getting out of bed and pulls them back under for cuddles?

Sero is def the “5 more minutes” kind of guy, and his boyfriend has, yknow, actually fat on his body, so hes w a r m, and so knew apartment law is he can't leave right now its officially illegal because Sero would freeze to death and that'd be murder

18. Who gets mad about something unrelated to Person B and punches the wall, and who patches it up and kisses it better?

Neither cuz thats a unhealthy habit yo, but have they taken blow's for each as pro heroes? Yes they have! Sero is probably more likely to take a hit, and shrug off any injury though.

19. Who has the plain black phone case and who ordered one with cat ears off ebay?

Kaminari thought the sleek black would be cool and edgy, but hes also clumsy, and has almost dropped it a LOT. So Sero buys it for him and Kami uses it just to spite him.

20. Who likes to drive with the music blaring and who is too shy to sing along?

They both blast their music, and when alone will sing along with each other (power ballad duets?) but with others Sero will usually only hum along as he's not the most confident in his voice.  

21. Who’s the fantastic kisser and who has the beautiful eyes?

Sero is probably the better kisser, but they both think the other person has the prettier eyes. And yes, they have fought about it.

22. Who has the sunshine smile and who has the seductive gaze?

Sero has that smil, you know the one okay. And Kaminari “sex eyes” Denki doesn't have the most perfect teeth, but he has a whole lot of libido to make up for it lol.

23. Who gets offended by the intensity of the other’s crush on a celebrity?

Sero logically shouldn't be jealous of Briteny Spears but like.. how can he compete with that? It's Briteny Spears, she is far superior than him, he wouldn't stand a chance! So yeah he's a little bitter about it, and kinda wishes his boyfriend would pick a less pretty celebrity to crush on.

24. Who is embarrassed that they have to wear glasses sometimes and who wants them to wear them in bed?

Kaminari is that kind of guy who's mark's go up like, 20% after he gets glasses because “Wait, the write the notes on the board too?” or some shit. But glasses are kinda lame in his books, so he wears contacts, and tells literally no one about it at first. Sero likes them though! He thinks they’re cute.

25. Who cheats on the other then immediately begs for their forgiveness?

Sero: I dont want to hear it

Kami: BABE IT WAS JUST ONE NIGHT! I PROMISE!

Sero: Go cry to Briteny, cuz i honestly dont care

Kami: It was one concert! How could I pass up Britney Spears LIVE in concert?

26. Who is the jealous one and asks why the other was being so flirty all night, and who is oblivious to their own charms?

Sero is just nice okay? How was he supposed to know that girl at the side bar was flirting with him, he just thought SHE was being nice? He legitimately doesn't notice anything is wrong until he has a possessive hand around his waist and a lapful of his boyfriend to help him clue in.

27. Who orders a milkshake with their food and who orders a soda?

Tbh they broke, so they go splits and get a rootbeer float, because compromise

28. Who runs their battery down to 1% and who feels the need to charge theirs at 80%?

Kaminari is a walking power outlet so he is fearless when it comes to phone battery like “yeah I can make a phone call with 3% it's fine” and Sero over-charges his phone so know the battery drains super fast now. 

29. Who has the excellent singing voice and is always singing around the house (and for Person B), but has no interest in going professional?

Kaminari actually has an amazing singing voice, probably because he has been singing for as long as he can remember. The pro hero life has always been the life for him though, so he'll stick to small 1 person concerts for his boyfriend while making eggs.

30. Who would rather be barefoot if the setting is appropriate, and who has the huge and spectacular shoe collection (possibly also socks)?

Kaminari may be a fashionably challenged preteen but he glows up okay? So he has WAY to many shoes than he needs, and Sero does not care for it. Sero has like, 5 pairs of shoes tops, and ofc he doesn't wear shoes in the apartment because he's not an animal.

31. Who takes their liquor on the rocks and who likes it neat?

I feel like after the 'fighting mina in a denny's parking lot' thing Kaminari isn't much one for hard liquors anymore anyways. So Sero is way more the kind of high class scotch guy.

[s3venpounds]

1 - 40

jesus buddy, if you wanted to know more about me just friend me somewhere and talk to me facebook,discord,overwatch,psn, snapchat w.e! haha i dont bite!

also this is gonna be really feckin long

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

How to train your dragon (1 and 2 i can’t decide) I fucking LOVE dragons. the idea to fucking ride one in the sky?!?! fucking DOPE. the idea that theyre also SCALY DOGS?!?!? MOTHER.FUCKING.DOPE. i just associate the idea of freedom with flying through the sky and that feeling was conveyed really well in that movie so i really loved it!

2: Talk about your first kiss.

honestly? kinda dumb now that i look back on it. it was a peck, i wasn’t even like mentally prepared and it happened way faster than i thought. If i knew it was going to happen i would have really like milked that fucker. i woulda went romance movie on that shit with all the extra shit like groping and weird inhaling noises and kissing so hard your teeth almost clink together. but yknow coulda woulda shoulda

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

theyre not a part of my life anymore which admittedly fucking sucks but i think its for the better at least for them. do i wish it worked out and we were together? i mean yeah duh, the reasons i fell for them don’t fucking disintegrate/ i just have more information than i had when i first met that person. will i actually actively pursuit them in the chance to be with them again? hell no. i’m tired. and i’ve seen enough “ self confidence” posts on here to think “ hey if someone really wanted me in their life they would go out of their way to do so and seeing as they haven’t even messaged me in god knows how long then its safe to say theyre off being happy

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

man i haven’t seen this person is literally almost 20 years. I need to apologize. or at the very fucking least, see how theyre been doing. its driving me mad just trying to picture how theyre living and just coming up with a giant question mark.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

lets be real bro most of my birthdays have been shit so i gave up on tryna make them memorable or fun, ‘s just another day to me. i mean the best one would have to be this one time i got a gameboy advance but thats pretty much it

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

yknow how everyone says “ OH MY GOD WE SHOULD KEEP IN TOUCH” once you move? yeah thats bullshit. honest to god bullshit. i kept tabs on everyone when i moved to a different city and when i came down to visit for my birthday inviting all those people who supposed “wanted to keep in touch with me” literally 1 person showed up. and i think they only showed up because our parents were friends too. so yeah. fuck people sometimes.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

hygiene. breath, hair, clothes, eating habits, manners, anything that might make me come off as unclean to people im trying to impress drives me off the fucking wall. specially at formal events. if im wearing snazzy clothing at like a suite 16 or a debut or a wedding bet you $100 that im adjusting little aspects of my appearance every like 15 seconds. eating mints the second one is finished, trying not to be too close to someones face when talking, even when i fucking fart i always take note of which way the wind is blowing, or im sitting down on something that can absorb the stench, how much pressure is in my gut and how much of it can i let out in small bursts to avoid sound. that or asian dick syndrome. yknow. haha asians got a small dick? that kinda shit bugs me a bit. not a ton but more than i thought it would

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.(i am literally only 8 questions in and my fingers are a little sore from typing)

my singing and impressions? i once scared some friends when i imitated a party blower kazoo thingy since the ones they bought from the dollarstore didnt make any sound. same as my singing, i tend to get high scores and i impressed my cousins once with a perfect score on a backstreet boys song HEH

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

my biceps? theyre not like chris hemsworth level of meaty but like when i worked at this physically demanding job my coworkers are like “ woah dude ur arms are different from mine, if you worked out theyd look so ripped” that kinda stuck with me for a while specially knowing they were a football jock and they had their own special diet and fitness instructor or something. i also like my smile/ jaw shape? my hair can look pretty good too sometimes

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

my family is very passive aggressive oh and racist

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

i once had this dream where i had reallllly passionate sex and it felt real and i could feel like every little detail down to like hairs brushing my skin on my arms and shit. i swear to this day it was a modern day succubus or something

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

that dream where i was a bird and flying away from”something” just all my instincts telling me to RUN. or that dream where i got shot in the hand, chest then the head and before i blacked out i said “Ch*****” who incidentally i was going to see later that day which made things very awkward at least for me

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

it was pretty good. looking back i was probably shit in bed hahaha first time so of course theres shit to work out. 

14: Talk about a vacation.

hit on by a cousin AND their gay friend. to which the cousin threatened me with self harm but the gay friend took the rejection very easily it was almost baffling in comparison (although the second the settled down they started to bash on me for rejecting their friend) also ate some REALLLLLY garlic covered crab the smell took 5 washes to get out… also got to ride in the back of a truck as its driving at like 120 mph and flying off all these little hills and tracking mud everywhere it was great

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

she was in my arms fast asleep and i took a photo. she didnt like that but let me keep the pic so that was nice.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

i can’t really remember any that stand out they were all equally fun. dont get me wrong some were super fun its just that it was also followed by a lot of bad choices that kinda take it down a notch. i will say this one party a friend hosted where i got to meet a BUNCH of new people. i also snorted some fundip powder as a dare. they refuse to let it go so i figure might as well own it. i also landed some sweet shots in beerpong

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

ellen paige would be dope to be friends with. same with zendaya. and gal gadot just so i can like sit in her presence and be in awe for extended periods of time

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

i was cheating on a test and my so called friend ratted me out never talked to him again that white privilege lookin hoe

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

i stopped talking to a friend that id thought i would be friends with for my whole life. i also became friends with my current best friend

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

people are dumb. drama is dumb. people who seek out this kinda shit needa leave me the hell alone. and if youre going to challenge me to a fight, tell me about said fight so i can show up. dont march around telling people ur gonna fight me and not tell me so i dont show up and make it look like i pussied out. like for real?

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

oh yeah like the vacation one said : shit got really weird. and to have that sorta conversation on spotty wifi in an airport in south korea meaning jet lag is also disorienting af

22: Talk about your worst fear.

death. nuff said

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

it sucked but it happens so like.? lmao i dont really know waht to say but it sucked

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

i have a horrible memory and on top of that my mind moves at like 32754895274 miles a second so i dont keep stuff in mind a lot in the first place. i can’t really think of anything that had so much impact that i’ve remembered it. well i mean there was this one song a friend told me about in a letter and to this day i’ve kept remembering the same verse “ maybe if we met each other under a different sky maybe things would be much better between you and i”

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

we just….grew apart. and if we tried to be friends now im sure there would be tension and unease. hes just in a different friend circle. i dont hate him for it i just feel like hes living in a world of white and im living in a world of black like its just plain and simple

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

on the computer. i can’t rest when im sick. i just keep trudging along. school, work, hangouts, i still go. i just take precautions to not spread it

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

neck? shoulder? hands? face? hair? idk dood i don’t really like specific places more of how WELL those parts can mesh together to make this beautiful being.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

y’all about to learn some shit because im gonna teach you a thing about me. pov’s, deepthroat/gagging, emo/goth, anal, massage, ropes and power trips, asians, tentacles if im feeling kinky, hentai /cartoon shit, glory holes, dirty talk and asmr (who woulda thought theres porn for that huh?), ahegao(being fucked silly or till your mind breaks into being nothing but a cumdump), swallowing, threesomes, double penetration, latex is pretty cool too, cosplays are nice if the characters are ones i recognize, tittyfucks, source film maker porn of like video game characters are getting pretty professional nowadays, lesbian, orgys, teenage girls and old ass guys, horse dicks and girls who try to take em, i got turned on by a girl fucking a dog once so i guess bestiality is a thing, oh i saw this scene in a movie im not sure if it was real it seems kinda hazy but it involved necrophilia but im not sure if it turned me on or it was so weird i’ve memorized it because of how weird it was. chicks with dicks fucking other chicks. and a plethora of other weird shit. i dont know what fetishes count and what doesn’t so i just listed whatever came to mind as i wrote have fun with that shit

29: Talk about what turns you on. 

short hair, asian heritage, playful and lighthearted but can be lustful as all hell, shorter than me, big boobs is a plus, mid driffs, underboob, small frame or face, scent( god if you smell good thats instant brownie points with me), likes anime, high pitch voices are cute as hell, very physically intimate, loves PDA’s, yeah i can’t really think of much

30: Talk about what turns you off.

uhh smells bad?, when their personality is bland/boring, or just shit. over timidness i get being shy but like if you can’t trust that the person youre interested in then like what am i supposed to do. i literally dated a girl who was so sheepish all i could do was ask her yes or no questions. and honestly that got old really fucking fast. i get she was trying but like i can only finesse so much of a relationship man. bad hygiene holy fuck. if you got like ear wax showin our ur ears, or like a bleeding pimple in plain view and refuse to at least dab it with a wet cloth or tissue then pls its not gonna work out. dandruff oh my gOD. dandruff would drive me nuts. like if i get close enough to see individual fucking flakes im gonna tear my whole scalp off

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

i feel like our bodies stop responding but our “souls” are still present there trapped screaming and trying to move our body but can’t. and thats why burials and shit sound so terrifying

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

dont need to. im a couple blocks away i can visit it any time. (my elementary and middle school the neighbourhood surrounding it was also where i used to live so that was dope)

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

i force myself to get MORE sad so i can get it all out in one go and much faster. like how the human mind can only get so angry that the brain gives up and just tries to find another way to spend its time. 

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

when i was a kid me and bunch of other kids decided to clog a slide with just a shit ton of people and one of my friends who came after me kept pushing me to the point i was hanging on for dear life using only my knee down that was wedged between a fat kid and my friend who went after me. i fell off eventually knocking skulls with another kid near the end of the slide(this slide was shaped like a spring so that explains why there were kids under me) my arm bend backwards for a sec after hitting another kid’s legs, and then i fell chest and fast first on the asphalt winding myself. kids are rugged as all hell man they can really take a hit. i walked it off but god damn if i didnt get bruises and shit afterwards. or that time i got beaten so bad by father dearest because work was stressful and i ended up blacking out. wasn’t even allowed to go to the hospital. just kinda laid down in my room with bruises all over.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

relying on people for happiness. distracting myself from sadness and responsibilities. procrastinating in general

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

i dont really feel guilt save for some specific circumstances. ask any of my friends. does that mean im a sociopath or whatever? 

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

they just got out of a relationship with someone and was avoiding them profusely and i just started to get to know them. we got to the point that when she was ready we could date. little did i know that later, she would end up dating a friend of mine. to which i promptly had the appropriate reaction of crying myself to sleep, sending that friend a text message with all the things he should know to keep that girl happy and ultimately smashing a lot of things (some bottles actually because we were gonna build a sculpture or something together with em. man middle school was a fucking RIDE)

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

mmmmmm i would prefer to keep those underwraps.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

family will be there for you in the end. (not because they want to but because the world teaches them that they have to meaning they will help just in their own way and to their own ends.) friends come and go. they always have always will. anyone who says forever is a fuckin idiot. lovers come and go thats just a natural part of growing up. and lets be real all the people that said they would self harm ultimately never did so dont stress it so much god damn(but dont let it slide either)

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

how about the end of my interest in anime and video games. nothing seems to really interest me anymore. everything is just kinda “meh”

[phantomfighters]

hELLO I HOPE YOU HAD FUN RUNNING THE NEW BLOG SO UHH- the boys (mishima too if possible) that have an innocent S/O? Like they are mostly clueless about adult stuff and smells like baby product bc they probably still wear it-

honestly this prompt is so adorable and i love it thank u so much for sending it in  -Mod Prince

Akira

he believes your innocence is what draw him to you actually

you can be a bit…clueless, sometimes, but he finds it adorable!!

however, it can be a bit frustrating when he’s trying to be a bit smooth albeit a bit lewd

he ends up dropping MAJOR hints to try and get it across to you but it never really gets across the way he wants, to akira’s dismay

you’ll be in his room at leblanc, he somehow gets you to sit on his lap

he’ll be dangerously looming over your face, finger twirling a sliver of your hair seductively

“you look…so so cute today…”

you’ll stutter from being slightly intimidated by your proximity but the sexual tension flies right over yr head LMAO SOMEONE SAVE AKIRA

hell yall would even be in public and he flirts SO MUCH with you that literally everyone else cannot believe it since akira isn’t a man of many words

he sees it as a challenge, almost

BUT OH MY THE DAY YOU ACTUALLY PICK UP ON IT WILL BE A DAY TO REMEMBER

ok omg gonna stop myself before i write nsfw

Ryuji

god honestly this boy can be really clueless too sometimes so \shrug

also he probably wouldn’t even notice what kind of shampoo you wear

like as long as your hair’s clean he has zero problems LMAO

since you can be kind of innocent though he finds himself blushing around you quite often

while you don’t have a perverted mind or anything, our RAMEN BOY on the other hand,,,

we know how pervy he is lol

but when ryuji actually decides on making a move it’s a struggle

“I wanna……. uuuhHHH…. do stuff” “Stuff?” “Yeah, yknow. STUFF.” “I don’t understand” “LETS MAKE OUT DAMMIT”

one time some guy tried to pick you up while ryuji was literally right next to you and you did not notice

when these thing happen in public ryuji actually does not make a scene

but he doesn’t hide his jealousy either

he’ll wrap his arm around your waist and glare that son of a b down

and if THAT doesn’t work he’ll probably just end up kissing you in front of the guy (HE’S IMPULSIVE OKAY HE LET HIS EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF HIM)

Yusuke

the both of you are just as clueless lol

honestly doesn’t see a problem with the way you are

and god being oblivious to adult stuff is actually a blessing for him because you’d be more willing to model naked than most people probably

“You are simply an angel sent to me from God himself! Finally, I have a truly breathtaking model at my disposal. Hurry now, get into position before my artistic inspiration fades!”

loves your cute and simple aesthetic

one time ryuji said “fuck” around you and yusuke got legitimately angry omg

like that’s probably the first time (besides when he bickers with futaba) yall have seen him actually go off on someone and be genuinely upset

“Ryuji!” he scolds as he covers your ears. “PLEASE watch your language. S/O is truly too innocent for that.”

hell, EVEN RYUJI AGREES WITH HIM

#YusukeIsBestMom

Akechi

he actually might be a little annoyed with a more innocent S/O

he’d prefer someone who’s a bit more up-to-speed, i think.

that’s not to say that he’d completely shoot someone down because of their innocence though!

akechi isn’t all about that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) life that much so if they’re oblivious to that kinda stuff it doesn’t bother him at all

might not like S/O at first, but when they show their ideals and he sees they genuinely are a good person he just

falls in love

when they do actually get together I feel that similar to Yusuke, he actually might act somewhat mother-like

always keeps an eye out for you, trying to educate you on the world around you

VERY VERY PROTECTIVE

i know b4 i said ryuji would glare at someone who would even look at you but with akechi?

oh boy

his glare. can fucking kill.

watch out boys!!!!!!!!

Mishima

THINKS THEY’RE SO CUTE WOW

i feel like you would accidentally say something lewd without meaning to and mishima would just. pass out. on the spot.

gets rlly frustrated when he tries to kiss you because he can never like say it but he HAS to say it directly if he wants you to understand

ends up kissing you while trying to explain SOMEONE SEND IN KISSING HCS P[LEASE

is a very touchy feely person but doesn’t know how to go about it

eventually he realizes if he wants something he literally just has to initiate it and it’ll happen

this means he ends up initiating cuddle sessions a LOT

during cuddling sessions he’d smell you’re hair and be like…. wait. is this…? oh my god i think they actually use johnson’s baby shampoo!!!!

makes him fall in love fifty times more with you

gosh an innocent S/O would probably be best with mishima just sayin yall

since he’s forced to initiate things himself, he can move at his own pace which is exactly what this cute lil boy needs!!

[winterywitch]

I just want to say that I really admire the depth you put into your OC's and your confidence in talking about them! I'd like to learn more about them, but I'm on mobile and it isn't letting me search the tags, so... are there any W@tchtower Grotto characters you haven't talked much about that you'd want to talk about?

oh!! ;-; gee thank you.......................

uhhhhhhh gee idk why but it feels like i dont have an actual comprehensive post on who/what nana actually is bc most of my friends know him very well already? so here’s that

hes like... early 30s?? in terms of appearance/maturity, hes the godking of the country in midnight

nana is uh... certainly a rebel at his core thats one way to put it, a lot of core things about him for better or for worse challenge the status quo. he thinks this is a good thing 100% of the time, like he’s some kind of radical rebelling against an oppressive norm on every single norm he challenges. (its not)

he is RIDICULOUSLY people-smart, hes likely an empath and could easily be called a genius when it comes to reading people and understanding how people tend to work.

if he were a dnd character he’d be a sorceror, he casts from charisma not intelligence [though he is certainly NOT lacking in that department]

hes definitely considered the leader of his little commune of kings [involving desiderius, hachi and kyuun], those three tend to defer to him and seek him out for advice [well. they mostly Used to now its just hachi that does that last part]

he sees himself as a teacher and guide to people, which isnt inaccurate necessarily!

hes very good to his people, his country as a whole is doing pretty well financially, there’s a vibe there of everyone taking care of one another! not to mention the fact that its lovely visually

he’s right about most things and he’s comfortably aware of the fact that he’s right about most things. but hes open to being corrected! he cant possibly be right about everything ALL the time!! he just has to consider you an authority on what youre talking about, which is something he very rarely considers other people to be, or he might just ignore your correction. but sometimes he wont, which makes you feel kinda silly for pointing out his tendency for hypocrisy! how confusing. it’s hard to keep up with this one.

he, like all of his colleagues minus desiderius, thinks he is the only Good King while all the others are complete messes who dont know what theyre doing or are just flat out bad people. but like, yknow, its a fucked up dysfunctional family! that’s totally normal, right??1/11

something about him just makes you think “theres a guy who knows his shit,” its probably his sturdy [outward] confidence, his [appearance of] wisdom, his [very real] intelligence and his long list of supporters that make you think that about him

his hair is weird as shit! there are ‘stars’ in it that glow, not BLINDINGLY bright but i mean yknow, they do glow, and where theyre embedded in his hair theres increased physical sensitivity. pulling on this guy’s hair fucking HURTS, even petting it can be uncomfortable if youre not really really careful. not to mention a fucking haircut, good lord (haha)

his parents were kind of like... very emotionally shallow, they were the sorts of people to be like Oh I’m Fine ^_^ at everything, and in subtle and hard-to-detect ways, they would punish nana for showing emotion of any kind (for example, laughing at him when he would cry at sad things as a child). because of this, he is now very open about his emotions and embraces them as something he should listen to and follow rather than only relying on cold logic as his parents tried to have him do. (its a lot more sinister in practice than it sounds, because yeah most of the time it is innocent like this but at the same time, he takes his own feelings VERY seriously and if you hurt them, even if it’s just by having boundaries, he will identify you as someone mistreating him or even abusing him depending on how close you are]

[heres where we get into The Shit, big tw for abuse, csa/pedophilia and “marital” sexual abuse/assault]

his closest friend and advisor arya kurosawa has been his best friend since they were both teenagers. they met when arya was 14 and nana was 17 [in terms of appearance/maturity are what those ages refer to, they were both immortal] and they got along very well.

of course by very well i mean on top of getting along very well, nana has ALWAYS had an inherent, base-level disrespect for arya’s boundaries. it’s been there since they were teens, and it mostly manifested in nana pressuring arya to do [mostly innocent - but the pressure and coercion made them not so innocent] things he was scared to do.

they were inseparable pretty much ever since they met and VERY, very in love with each other

they definitely were a romantic item by the time nana inherited the throne from his mother, and the age gap was definitely concerning but it only grew more concerning as nana’s mental/appearance age rose because he was growing up emotionally and psychologically and arya’s... stagnated.

when nana was in his early 30s so to speak, arya was stuck at 14-15 or so. and like... they didnt really see anything weird about that, they figured “well we both met when we were kids so its not like nana is a pedophile or anything, why question something so good?”

to someone who didnt know better wrt age gaps in romantic relationships and pedophilia, the relationship between those two would have looked completely normal and healthy. there was certainly an appearance of mutual respect, support, love and commitment

nana could only treat a 14-15 year old so much like his equal. to be totally honest, even since they were teenagers, nana treated arya like his inferior, like a student that needed to be taught, and that dynamic only grew/got worse as nana aged mentally.

but at the same time arya also taught nana so many things! see? nana wasn’t some condescending prick! obviously everything is fine. there were a lot of ways sometimes in which ARYA was the adult and nana was the child ^_^ so it’s equal, right?

arya certainly didnt know any better, nana was the love of his life and that was all there was to it. he knew [because of nana] that any discrimination they might face due to their ages in this relationship was simply unfounded, cruel bigotry from a species of essentially cavemen who were afraid of fire. he knew he was progressive for his time, in a couple decades probably everyone else would come to their senses too!

long story short, one day arya very quickly, almost violently realized EXACTLY everything that was wrong. nana’s condescending behavior had come to a head and someone arya considered a playful rival had forced him, very painfully, to face the truth of what this relationship was: abuse from a man who should know better, taking advantage of a boy who didnt.

arya couldnt exactly love nana after realizing this. and it really fucking sucked. he really wanted to go back to the way things used to be, he wanted to “undiscover” what he’d discovered, but there was no way back and he felt so broken and dirty and ungrateful and bratty and selfish for suddenly feeling this way.

nana on the other hand noticed arya very suddenly averse to being touched or held or even looked at. for a while, he was very understanding about this - what that playful rival did was essentially cast a spell and at first he thought arya was just sick or physically not well or something, and that he’d get better soon.

he didn’t.

nana didn’t know what to do. suddenly arya was neglecting him, acting like he was terrified of nana. he’d never been like this before, what happened? it’s incredibly painful and confusing, losing the love of your life like that; one day you’re everything to them, and the next they’re flinching every time you raise your hand around them. nana had never hit him or abused him verbally... in fact, it was nana who HELPED ARYA gain the strength and courage he needed to become independent from his emotionally abusive parents. so why was nana suddenly the bad guy? he had no idea what happened, why, how to fix it, or anything like that.

eventually he snapped, unable to take being deprived of love and attention like this, so he just took whatever he wanted, physically, not caring what arya thought of it.

he knew it was wrong. he knew he’d definitely crossed the line into objectively unforgivable actions. but he was almost too afraid to stop and relinquish this power over arya, because then he had to A.) lose arya, and B.) be held accountable for his actions. both two very terrifying things he saw no personal gain in.

that went on for a long time, until nana sort of... slowly realized he was feeling weaker and weaker, more prone to physical weariness dizziness, severe headaches and nausea, and he didn’t put 2 and 2 together until it was too late.

arya had figured out how to start poisoning him and getting away with it.

by that point, nana realized not just what was happening and why, but also that he unquestionably, factually deserved this pain and much, much more. that realization was too much for him, it sort of broke him psychologically for a very long time, leaving him completely helpless to whatever revenge arya decided to take on him

[it was all physical and psychological torture, but arya was certain NEVER to stoop to his level and sexually abuse nana. he couldnt even think of sleeping with nana “consensually” anyway, it made him horribly sick to even consider]

eventually after a long-ass time of this, arya just got sick of looking at nana and couldn’t even be around him anymore without feeling absolutely god-awful, so he just abandoned nana, leaving him to fester in his broken body and mind

and y’know, stuff happens after that, but thats all there really is to the most prominent phase of nana’s development in THIS story. i also play him in his phase of development after that last bullet point [roughly 200 years later], where he’s fucked up in all kinds of ways and totally deserving it, but also trying to... not really redeem himself or anything like that, he knows that’s not really a thing, but rather to make himself useful to good people who want to do the right thing, in a dnd campaign

nana goes through a SHIT TON of changes, to the point that each phase of his development has his own individual profile on toyhou.se, he’s become a Big Trauma Coping Character for me and somewhat an experiment in redemption arcs, seeing what exactly should happen and how to make “redemption” arcs seem not cheap or forced

here’s the one i talked about in this post though

http://toyhou.se/335049.nana-of-the-stars