#yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me

[king-carnivore]

For anyone needing to revert back to the prev version of discord before the rollout, search for Discord: Talk, Chat & Hang Out 204.18 - Stable (nodpi) (Android 7.0+)

You'll get a download page from APKMirror

You'll want to delete your current version of discord off your phone first BEFORE downloading and installing the APK, otherwise it won't work

Edit: Please go to your app store settings and disable auto update!!! Otherwise you'll continually get the rollout!

[acelessthan3]

I think there's got to be like a Robin Hood corollary to any pro-pirating stance in that if/when you can afford to, spend the money to buy from small/local/independent art.

Some big top 100 musician/major studio whatever doesn't need your money, but the $10 on Bandcamp for the local band you saw at the bar's new album or your friend's soaps on Etsy or that indie movie playing at the cinema when it comes out on DVD or literally almost any author's book that's not like already an NYT Bestseller or community theater producing new works by living artists. It really can make a difference to those people.

[pftones3482]

"Ummm they toned down the abuse from Gabe in Percy Jackson because it's a kids show, stop being mad about it"

Ignoring the fact that it's also a children's book, let's take a look at some children's media in the last couple decades that depict parental abuse towards children that isn't physical, but still makes the abuse feel real:

1. Harry Potter. I'm loathe to even put it on here bc of how much I hate JKR, but HP DOES depict child abuse in probably one of the best ways of any modern media. As far as I can remember (correct me if I'm wrong), the Dursley's never lay a hand on Harry. But it is never even questioned if they're awful people towards Harry - they literally make him sleep in a closet.

2. Matilda. Like do I even need to explain this one? Abuse from not only her whole family (again, NONE of it physical from what I recall), but also from other authority figures. And she's not the only character who deals with parental abuse - Miss Honey is a grown adult shown to be dealing with the negative effects of an abusive parental figure.

3. Phineas and Ferb. Laugh all you want, but Doofenshmirtz's parents were genuinely awful to him. His stories are just tamed down in a way that's palpable to a much younger audience while still also being clear abuse - a young child can chuckle at his stories but STILL understand why maybe some of his stories would turn him evil.

4. Avatar the Last Airbender. Zuko's father physically disables his own son. Not to mention the constant emotional neglect and manipulation on top of it, the writers never held back on how bad his father was. Even if he hadn't scarred Zuko, he would still be a clear depiction of an abusive parent.

5. The Willoughbys. The parents are so awful that the kids literally plot to murder them. The parents abandoned them to freeze to death on top of a mountain. Enough said.

6. Percy fucking Jackson.

Percy Jackson IS a book made for kids that depicts child abuse from a parent - and not only does it depict child abuse, it depicts spousal abuse.

I know Percy doesn't know that Gabe is physically hurting Sally in the beginning of the book. But we as the audience know that Gabe DOES hurt Percy. There is not a single sign in the new show that Percy has anything more than a snarky, annoyed view of Gabe.

Gabe is supposed to be smelly and disgusting, a drunk (which, even if they can't depict that in a Disney show, you can still play around with his grossness), a slob, and a gambler. He's barely even greasy in the show. Literally they could have just had him belch a few times or eat messily and it would have given off a better impression of his character. Instead, he just quips back and forth with Percy and then later is just...whining. He's whiney. He does not ring as a man who abuses his family, emotionally OR physically, he rings as a pathetic step-dad figure who can't support himself (which is ALSO not canon, because in the book he runs an auto store! His abuse towards Sally is not for lack of money, it's just because he's a dick!!!) The fact that I think that Doof's parents in Phineas and Ferb are more overtly abusive than him on screen is actually absurd.

And Sally fell flat. Her character in the book doesn't yell literally ever - not once in the whole series can I recall her legitimately yelling at someone. Her persona is kind and gentle in the books and as for wits, she's clever, and sneaky, and cunning. She fights back with Gabe in ways that we as the audience can see, but Gabe misses because he's so dense.

Take the bean dip scene.

In the show, she basically is like "Yeah yeah I'll make the bean dip, shut up" and Gabe just whines about the sour cream while they yell at each other.

In the book? That's her bargaining chip to take the car for the weekend. That's her ticket out of the house. Bribery. Not just placating a whining husband - she bribes him in the books.

And her yelling back? Just feels so unnatural to Sally Jackson as a whole. I saw someone say she feels like Disney girl-bossed her, and they're right. She doesn't feel like Sally Jackson. She feels like just another cut and paste Disney woman who's snappy and doesn't take shit.

And to be clear - the OG Sally Jackson also didn't take shit. She was just so much more clever about it, in a way that made sure Percy never saw her actively yell. She doesn't have to be snarky and rude to get her way. Percy knows she's fighting back without physically fighting, and that's what makes her so strong. Sometimes you have to fight more with your wits and cleverness than you do with screaming and fists

(Gee...wonder what other character Percy ends up really admiring that also holds that philosophy in life?)

Anyway...all that said, stop blaming the fact that it's a children's show on Gabe's watered down personality. Children's shows/movies and family shows/movies have been depicting serious parental abuse and neglect for decades, in both realistic and more humorous ways that don't take away from the neglect. Kids can handle it, because there are kids going through it.

To say that "It's a kids show, kids shouldn't have to see that," is a disservice to the kids who need to see that, so they know that they can get away too, and they don't have to get physical to do it.

Also, this version of Gabe? Doesn't deserve to die. He's just annoying, not an asshole that scares Percy more than literal monsters do.

[cataclysmic-cathexis]

So we gonna talk about the goat that's just hanging out in Mary and Anne's house or

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ      

SFW🌿

・Will is a caring and gentle partner. He’s quite emotionally open and doesn’t mind discussing his feelings 

・The first time you met, there was a ringing of steel on steel. The clash of swords; a battle neither would win. 

・As the captain of the Flying Dutchman, Will had found your ship, with its healthy and vital crew

・Your coffers were full, and your crew was never hungry

・As the enemy ship sailed towards your own, your curiosity won over your logic

・What’s the point in being immortal if you can’t have a little fun?

・So when the fighting broke out, you soon realised who you were dealing with. Davy Jones had been slain, but in his place stood a handsome young man. 

・Both you and Will agreed to stay out of each other’s way, but destiny wouldn’t let you part

・It wasn’t difficult, to let your feelings take over. Both you and Will had a fascination with each other, one that ran deep

・Both of you wanted to be a captain and sail your own ship. The pirate life wasn’t one that was easy to give up 

・That freedom is intoxicating. 

・But destiny was always on your side

・Because you found an old relic that gave you the power to find Will, no matter how far he sails

・Will does get jealous easily though, and when he first met you, he was certain that your quartermaster was your lover. But Killian was a loyal friend, and only a friend 

・You knew about Captain Jack Sparrow, but never got the chance to actually meet him. Something told you that wherever Jack went, trouble followed...so you followed him

・Will told you to steer clear of the dread-locked fiend, but you wanted something of his. A certain compass. 

・What Will loves most about you, is your hot head and wild nature. Although it can be difficult at times, he would never make you dull that part of yourself 

・You keep him on his toes, and he wouldn’t want it any other way

・Whenever you’re together, Will likes to surprise you with artefacts (since you can get any jewel you wish - you can never die. No matter the injury.)

・You like playing with Will’s hair, it’s actually quite curly 

・He likes when you hum, and you do it a lot. It’s always absent-mindedly, because you’d be mortified if Will heard you sing (although when you get to the drink, you don’t care whose listening)

・Your crew mates start to feel comfortable around Will’s. There’s even moments of family members reuniting

・You take good care of your crew - since you hand pick them yourself 

・You’ve sailed nearly everywhere, and experienced everything. Some things you wish you could forget, but others that you know are otherwordly

・You’ve saved mermaids

・Slayed British soldiers, who try to rid the world of pirates

・You’ve even been nominated to be pirate king a few times (but you never turned up to the meetings)

・You’re a legend, a myth, a reality

・Some people think that if they capture you, they’ll be able to take your eternal youth

・So you can never be in one place for too long 

・Anyone that’s around you will become younger - the time in their life when they felt like their best self 

・But this doesn’t work on Will ... it was one of the reasons why he was so peculiar to you 

・Like destiny had played a nasty trick on the both of you

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

Your Favourite Colour Is Green by James Newton Howard

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:

  ✧ Rivals to Friends to Lovers

  ✧ Opposites Attract

  ✧ “Shut Up” x “Make Me”

  NSFW🔞minors dni!

・Consent King™ always asks if what he’s doing is okay, asks if he can kiss you, etc. 

・Favourite place to have sex is on the beach. The hot sun beating down on you, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. It makes an ethereal atmosphere. 

・Always makes sure you’ve orgasmed before he does 

・Can go for multiple rounds, without tiring

・He’s swept up in the heat of the moment, and doesn’t think about whether he’s being light-hearted or sensual 

・Will is like a whirlwind when he’s turned on. Grabbing at your clothes and tearing them off, kissing every inch of bare skin he can find 

・His favourite position is missionary, with your legs wrapped around his waist 

・Leaves hickies on your body without realising it 

・Loves when you wear your captain’s hat and ... only your captain’s hat.

[dustbon]

Cordelia Holiday

Self Assured, Non-commital, Klepto

Smells like rum and dirt (in a good way)

Self-taught mixologist

[the-badger-mole]

Pirate Ships!

Non-canon ships are ubiquitous in fandoms, and we have all had the agony of seeing a couple who should have ended up together torn apart by imaginationless writing teams who just don't get it (I will never forgive what Modern Family did to Haley and Andy T^T). It's such a common experience, that I think the trope deserves it's own name, and I think that name should be Pirate Ships (based on this post for my main pirate ship).

So, since I've made my new side quest to make this an all fandoms thing, I want to know what your pirate ships are. What ships of yours did The Man try to sink that are still going at full mast? Reblog this and put them in the tags

[th3d0nutl0rd]

This literally did terribly on tiktok so I'm posting it here for the tumblrinas. I feel like you guys will appreciate it.

[grav3yard-f1shy]

[zukkaart]

A:tla - Pirate AU

Katara: hates pirates, actively tries to cut off their ambush routes. Leads assaults against the biggest threats. Speaks out against superstitions about having women on board

Aang: Katara’s errand boy warrior assistant who actually used to be a pirate but somehow hasn’t put that together (“yeah I don’t know, my family used to sail a lot but I don’t really remember why”)

Sokka: master cartographer and way-finder. He also submits many many ideas to the government about how to reconcile with some of the less violent captains and even use them to everyone’s advantage. Also in charge of finding less dangerous trade routes and gives free sailing/cartography lessons in his free time

Zuko: thinks/says he’s a pirate but is actually just REALLY deep into the black market and becomes a master tradesman. (I.e. he doesn’t actually sink vessels or actively try to hurt people, but has been known to order raids on ships run aground) Everyone he trades with sees his scar and decides its best to just give him a good -if not their best- prices so his ships will go in peace

Suki: runs an all-woman armada that is more feared than most pirate lords. They adopt Anne-Bonnie’s method of dressing like men until right before they kill their enemies- to let them know that they were in fact killed by a woman

Toph: daughter of two wealthy royal merchants- she stows away to find out who sank her favorite ship. She finds Zuko instead and becomes his iron fist- she thought about causing a mutiny against him since she’d “obviously make a better captain” but decides she doesn’t want the responsibility. She’s also their best spy.

[itsstede]

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate day.

This is how my favourite pirates talk:

And also like this:

And of course like this:

Gonna talk like them 🏴‍☠️

[mbrainspaz]

'Ad Blockers are not allowed on Youtu'--shut up big tech bitch boy I will literally just rip every song I want to listen to and leave and you can kiss all those sweet sweet view numbers you sell to your precious advertisers goodbye. Who put all 27 views in the last 7 years on 'Geckosong' by the Stantons? ME

[the-vanir-queen]

@stephie-starr Congrats on being like the first mutual to play games with me😋

[saintavangeline]

Got so plastered last night it reset my system and now I'm all goofy and excited about life thx captain morgan

[the-stars-sigh-when-i-get-high]

Our Flag Means Death 🏴‍☠️pirate subtitles✨ got me giggling like a lil girlipop overhere🤭

[1-800-say-less]

Yo ho and a bottle of rum

On my pirate shit