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softjeon · 5 years

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Better Together

• Pairing: Rapper!Yoongi x Dancer!Jimin • Genre: Fluff • Words: 9,1k | ↳ AO3 • Disclaimer: a bit of anxiety and nervousness / insecurities

written for the ‘Printed Melodies’ Event @yoonminficrec → Prompt: Yoongi’s rap crew competes at a hip hop competition and Jimin is also there as a competing street dancer.

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳ “C-can you please close the door again?” Jimin averted his gaze, trying not to be embarrassed by the whole situation. Yoongi ignored the boy’s half-hearted request at leaving him alone and instead furrowed his brows in concentration as he scanned him for real. When he dropped his gaze to the younger’s feet he could see that he was barefoot and awkwardly trying to hide it with the way he was sitting. “Are you crying because those cheerleaders out there stole your shoes?”

It was useless. He was useless. Why did he even think coming here would be a good idea in the first place. The day had started out bad already and it was proving itself to be the worst day Jimin ever had. First, he almost came too late for the sign ins and now he had forgotten his shoes. The most important item a dancer needed. He had been so nervous, anxiety driven all day and forgetting his shoes had been the last straw he needed to tilt over.

Jimin sobbed, burying his face in the palm of his hands and curled in further into the corner of the locker room he had hid in. There were loud noises outside, people passing but no one bothered to look inside these rooms. They had other things to care about, competitions to win. Closing his eyes, Jimin pulled his knees in and leaned his forehead against the cold wall, trying to count to ten and start again. He would be okay. He could practice the routine without shoes. Try it out a couple of times and see if it works or he could just keep hiding in here. Where no one could find him and sneak out without anyone noticing. They maybe would call out his name a couple of times, but then they would just disqualify him.

That was it.

Jimin gasped when the door suddenly burst open, eyes wide in fear and shock alike. Hand pushed over his mouth to keep from breathing too loudly and not make a noise. He stared at the closed bathroom door in which he had locked himself, seeing shoes walking closer to where the sinks were and Jimin held his breath.

The voices of the people outside were still in Yoongi’s head, bouncing around like a pinball machine, over and over again.

‘Oh, I never heard of you!’

‘Who are you again?’

‘Wait, you are a rapper? You are so small I thought you were one of the background dancers’

‘You must be so nervous to be here’

He had smiled and talked and tried to make connections as he knew he should be while his inner tension rose and rose until it was so close to snapping that he just needed to get out RIGHT ABOUT NOW: He burst through the door of the first empty room he could find, growling out his anger and frustration. “Yes, I’m new and I don’t look like the typical rapper and most of you haven’t heard of me I know that so fucking thank you for reminding me!” He kicked against the bench in the room while having no idea that he wasn’t the only one hiding in here.

Jimin jerked violently, a squeal passing his lips in fright, when the man had kicked out and he pressed his palm a little harder over his mouth. It was silent. Only the heavy panting from the stranger audible. Eyes wide, Jimin tried to push himself as far as he could in the corner of the bathroom stall, when he heard the footsteps coming closer.

Yoongi flinched just as hard as Jimin as he had heard the youngers frightened sound. His defenses went up immediately and his heart was pounding when he went over to where he assumed the other person was. He had run out of there to not have any witnesses of his outbreak and now he had been watched, nonetheless.

Couldn’t he have some goddamn peace for five damn minutes!?

Jimin whimpered when the door busted open and stared up at the man that had just ripped the door open angrily, eyes wide and filled with tears. He was about to open his mouth, apologize and tell him to not hurt him when the angry stranger began to shout at him, pouring all of his frustration out on him and all Jimin could do was listen.

“What are you doing in here? Did you follow me? Trying to tease me some more, huh? Do you want to watch me crack under pressure, is that it so you can tell the others that they were totally right about me and that I’m just some tiny stupid no name rapper who can’t even hold his temper before a competition?” Only after he yelled at the boy was his head clear enough for him to really look at him and he saw that the younger’s eyes were remarkably glassy.

Jimin waited for him to finish his rant, confused on why the fuck the other thought that he had spied on him. A tear fell onto his cheek and Jimin hastily wiped it away.

“I...I wasn’t listening in on you and I don’t care who you are,” He whispered, voice sounding croaky from the crying. “Also, I was here first!” His voice broke a little again and he awkwardly smoothed down his team jacket that he wore, even on days where he competed alone like today. Jimin had been the only one who was able to qualificate himself for this competition. Not many were invited to the final rounds, even though many tried from all across the country - dancers and rappers alike. If you made it though, then you had a good chance to be seen by either one of the top managers of the entertainment agencies. And there was a grand prize awaiting for the winner. But even if you didn’t you could get lucky that someone found you interesting enough to pull you out of the many competitors to hand over a card, maybe invite you to an audition. Something Jimin was dreaming about night and day.

“C-can you please close the door again?” Jimin averted his gaze, trying not to be embarrassed by the whole situation. He wished the ground would swallow him whole.

Yoongi ignored the boy’s half-hearted request at leaving him alone and instead furrowed his brows in concentration as he scanned him for real. “Wait - you are one of the dancer’s, aren’t you?” He had seen a group of them standing around before, chatting happily and acting more like cheerleaders on a trip while the rappers were acting all cool and hard-boiled. “Obviously,” Jimin pointed at his jacket where the name of his dance school was printed on and slowly got up. “And you’re a rapper,” He nodded towards Yoongi, noticing his simple outfit.

“What are you doing in here?” Spying definitely wasn’t it and now that his anger had subsided his head was clear enough to realize that it was apparently him who had interrupted the boy’s quiet, not the other way round. When he dropped his gaze to the younger’s feet he could see that he was barefoot and awkwardly trying to hide it with the way he was sitting. “Are you crying because those cheerleaders out there stole your shoes? Is that still a thing between grown up people?” He asked bluntly, ignoring that the boy had tried to hide his tears as well.

“I guess, I have been doing the same thing you did,” Jimin answered and leaned against the cold tile wall, “Having anxiety and getting away from the people and what they are saying.” Jimin smiled faintly, squeezing through the door and over to the sink to let cool water run over his wrists for moment and then washed his face, trying to get rid of the salty tear stains. When he pulled out a tissue, drying it, it still looked swollen and red. Looking down at his feet, Jimin added, “No, they can be mean but not like that…I don’t really need them to be a failure. I do that very well on my own.”

“Sorry that I didn’t recognize your probably awesome dance studio right away, princess. I had a few more important things to handle.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. “I’m .. I’m not anxious! I’m angry, there’s a difference.” He watched the younger wash his face and then look resigned at his reflection. It went like a stab through his heart when he realized that he recognized the boy’s expression; lot and desperate and full of self-hatred. He had seen it before, many time. In his own mirror. His voice was a little softer when he gently pushed further, “Why, what happened? Did you disqualify yourself?”

“Doesn’t matter what happened and no, I didn’t. I wouldn’t be here if I did. It’s only the finals today.” Jimin said and turned around to the stranger, “While you guys only have one day of competition we already did pre-rounds a week prior. We’re already only a selected group of people who compete today…or else it will take days. Do you know how many people want to be here today? It’s the competition,” A sad smile pulled at the corner of his lips, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“It’s making you nervous, right? You want to prove them wrong.” Jimin bit his lip. It felt good to talk to the stranger, somehow lifting the heaviness around his own heart. He knew that feeling all too well. “And you fear to not be able to show them how wrong they are… I bet you’re really, really good and they just don’t know you, yet.” Jimin crossed his arms in front of his chest, “You’re new and the rappers are always weird with new people. Believe me, they are worse than the dancers…I don’t really hang with the rappers, but some of my friends do. It’s all about being known already…whether it’s through social media or not. And they fear the unknown. They can’t access you, that’s why they want to make you nervous, so you fail, and they can say that you had no confidence or not enough experience.”

It was downright creepy how easily the younger saw through him while Yoongi could have sworn that he was perfect at hiding his own insecurities. He swallowed hard, not sure if he should defend himself - or if that would just make it even more obvious that the boy was right. Also, he was a bit confused as to why the boy was so kind to him. He had barged in, yelling at him and asking him questions and the other was building him up in return. “Th...thank you?” He answered; voice so unstable that it sounded more like a question than a statement. Also, while the other had described Yoongi’s situation pretty much on point he hadn’t told him a single thing about himself which meant that Yoongi could only assume. “So... if you know all this and you aren’t new then why are you scared? You must be good or else you wouldn’t be here. Is your competition that heavy? Is there something other at stake for you than pride?” He figured if the boy knew so much about him it was only fair to even it out.

“It’s my third year i’m competing here,” Jimin sighed, not wanting to say how good or not-good he was but the fact itself that he had made it into the finals three times in a row should be information enough for the rapper, “And you always see the same people with the same choreographies at every competition. You'll get used to it, believe me. Don’t listen to them. And I...I...I’m just nervous.”

He bit his lip, avoiding Yoongi’s gaze and rubbed over his face making it grew paler than it already was. Jimin didn’t want to think about how much of a mess he was. He’d rather hide in the corner again until the competition is over and then find a good plausible excuse for his trainer to tell him that he had been disqualified in one of the most prestige and important hip and street dance competitions. Walking over to the bank, Jimin sat down, startling when it moved as if screws had been loosened from the impact of Yoongi’s kick and the wood would crash any minute now. He froze, eyes wide as he looked up at Yoongi, “That you rappers always have to be so aggressive. They really made you frustrated, huh?” He shook his head and smiled, “I guess, I’ll take the floor again then.”

Sitting down, Jimin pulled his legs in and when Yoongi still didn’t move along or walked out again after a while, he cocked his head aside. He really looked at the stranger, gazing him up and down without trying to be creepy but he only noticed now how nervous the other really seemed. His white hair standing in contrast to his dark attire, cute button nose and lips that were pursed into a pout. He was pretty handsome...and cute. Jimin had to smile, he really wasn’t the usual type of rapper. But neither was he the usual type of hip hop dancer and still both of them were here.

“What are you doing in this part of the gym anyways? Isn’t your competition in the other half? So that dancers and rappers are not mingling.” Jimin giggled, winking playfully at the stranger. Patting the floor next to him, Jimin offered him the floor to sit on, “If you want to be with the outcast though, hide until the competition is over and they disqualify you then you’re welcome to stay here with me.”

“No, I won’t stay here and hide. Actually, I came here to calm down enough to be able to go on stage. Are you really going to let it get to you?” Yoongi cocked his head a little looking at Jimin challengingly. “Isn’t it worse to hide away in here and not even try?”

Jimin shrugged his shoulders. “It’s stupid but…I forgot my shoes,” Wiggling his toes a little, he looked up at Yoongi, “The most important thing for a dancer…my routine it’s…it’s tricky and I need the right kind of shoes. It’s not like I can lend some. And I’m not sure if I can do it barefoot…the floor we’re dancing on is not made to dance barefoot on it so. It will be a mess. I will be a fucking mess.” Jimin’s eyes filled with tears again and he quickly avoided Yoongi’s gaze. He knew he sounded stupid, but he needed to be the best. He couldn’t fail. He didn’t want to miss one step. Jimin would beat himself up for it forever. “I’m alone here today. I’m the only one out of my team who got a qualification. And…it just got to me. Sometimes it just gets too much, you know?” Jimin looked up with tear filled eyes. “But it’s okay, you can use the room to calm down…I’ll stay here and not say a word. I promise you won’t even notice me.”

Yoongi huffed, “You are definitely very hard to ignore, I can tell you that.” The boy was too pretty and too interesting for that, besides talking to him helped a lot more to calm his nerves than screaming into the void or kicking things. “What shoe size do you have? Maybe you can take my shoes?” He dropped his gaze to Jimin’s feet again and frown when he realized that they definitely weren’t wearing the same size. “Can’t you just try without shoes? I don’t know when you’re on but maybe you could train barefoot in here? If it doesn't work you can still go back to hiding, right?”

Jimin listened, biting his lip in thought while Yoongi was talking, saying out loud what he had thought about before. “I still got time,” Jimin whispered, wiping over his eyes in the process. “Can you help me?” He asked and blinked up. Whatever it was about the stranger, he had lured him in with his calm voice and warm eyes that made him want to try. He had thought about it too. He could still stay inside if it doesn’t work. “I…I’m not very good with judging myself,” Jimin tried a smile, cheeks blushing, “Will you give me an honest feedback then?”

“What?” Yoongi's eyes widened as he blurted out, “I can’t dance!” Before he realized that what Jimin was asking of him wasn't to be his dance partner but just to look at him and his skills without shoes.

“Uhm, sure.” He shrugged his shoulders, feigning nonchalance when in reality the prospect of having this beautiful boy dance just for him here where it was just the two of them had him swallowing hard. Even though they didn’t know each other it felt... intimate somehow.

Jimin smiled and got up, shaking out his stiff muscles and jumped on the spot a couple of times. Rolling his shoulders back, Jimin began to stretch his neck, moving his body just enough to warm it up a little. He had already done a whole warming-up process right before his melt-down, so he deemed this good enough. There wasn’t much time now anyways. “Can you hold your hand up like this please?” Jimin reached for Yoongi’s hand, not hesitant about touching him and placed it just like he needed and then smiled. “I can’t dance without stretching myself first and usually I have someone from my team with me and it’s not as effective to do it against a wall….anyways,” Without even preparing Yoongi further or telling him what was going to happen, Jimin swung his leg up gracefully and placing his foot in Yoongi’s hand so he could help him stretch. “You can pull it up a little higher, please.” Jimin giggled, “Just do it…it won’t hurt me.” With his hands placed on Yoongi’s shoulder, he looked at him with his puffy and still red eyes. “I’m Jimin.”

“Woah!” Yoongi almost took a step back in reflex as Jimin swung his leg at him but instead of kicking him he just gracefully placed his foot over his arm as if he was made of rubber. “How..?” He stood there, absolutely stunned as the younger held his balance and easily bent further showing off his toned leg and incredible flexibility. Yoongi tried not to look but with them being so close and him being way too curious for his own good he let his gaze wander down the boys leg to his ass. His cheeks heated as he thought about what else being this bendy could be good for...

Jimin cocked up an eyebrow when Yoongi wasn’t answering or telling him his name. Letting his leg fall again, Jimin took a step back. “You don’t want to tell me yours? You can tell me your rap name, too if that makes you more comfortable. I just don’t want to call you stranger in my head anymore.” Jimin genuinely smiled, before he simply slid into a split right in front of Yoongi.

“Ah, sorry, your witchcraft here slightly distracted me. You won’t start walking upside down on all fours next, will you?” He joked hiding the truth that he had been distracted. “My name’s Yoongi. My actual name.” He made a little pause to have Jimin realize that he did feel comfortable with him and that he wanted the other to know his real name. “Nice to meet you Jimin. Wait, what did you think about me in your pretty little... oh my god! how can you even do that?” He had seen girls do the splits but the thought alone of landing like this as a boy had him clenching his thighs.

“Witchcraft?” Jimin shook his head and got up again - feeling a lot better now. He could almost blend out the music that came from the inside of the gym, the voice that announced new numbers to step up on the floor. “It’s just a matter of training. You can do it, too. I can show you.”

“Nope, no way, no thank you very much my legs will stay in their natural position,” He was quick to decline Jimin’s offer. There was no way that he would try this without getting himself seriously injured. Which might be a little counterproductive for his ‘swag’ on stage.

Jimin winked at him and added, “Well, what I thought of you was…aggressive rapper, great, one of those again and then I noticed your warm eyes and very soothing voice. And now I think that I like your name.” Jimin took Yoongi by his shoulders and placed him against the wall, before taking a few steps back to have enough room to move. “My warm eyes, hu?” He chuckled, a little bit embarrassed and a little bit flattered. He raised his brow in a silent question when Jimin just moved him, but he went willingly, letting the younger put him where he wanted him to be right now.

No matter how flirty Jimin had been, now he felt anxious again to show it to a stranger, to Yoongi. He wasn’t sure if he could do it barefoot, so the risk was pretty high to fuck up and for Yoongi to tell him to just keep hiding. His heart began to race. “Be honest with me then, will you? There’s no need to lie to me.” Jimin said and took a deep breath. “I can’t do everything here since this room is pretty narrow but…I will do a few moves. Once that I’m not sure I can do on barefoot.” He nodded reassuringly, more to himself than to Yoongi.

Jimin breathed in - and then his body changed. Just like that he became something delicate and graceful, using his arms to elongate the form of his dance move, using his legs to jump and twirl like gravity wasn’t a thing for him. Yoongi knew exactly why Jimin had qualified for this; because seeing him dance made you want to dance as well, because it looked so easy so beautiful, like purest joy formed into motions. When his awe had ebbed down a little for him to actually concentrate on what Jimin had asked him to do he noticed that the younger’s turns were a little bit shaky and that his expression turned a little scared whenever he did a really difficult jump or turn. However, his expression was the only thing that gave away that he was nervous, the turns and jumps still came out beautiful.

At least in Yoongi’s eyes.

“Fuck,” Jimin stopped himself short. Tears were burning in his eyes, clouding his view right away and he only hated himself even more. His lungs were burning from trying to hold back the sob that was threatening to spill over. Taking in another shaky breath, he ignored Yoongi completely and tried another turn. He didn’t even make a couple of twirls before he fell out of it. His hands were shaking when he tried once more, but it was harder to do it on barefoot, having no solid shoes that helped you give the best performance.

Yoongi realized too late that Jimin was spiraling out of control - not in reality but definitely in his mind. “H.. hey, Jimin!” He reached for the boys hands, squeezing both of them as he could see the younger falling into his own mind, the same way he knew oh-so-well from late nights at the studio with nothing but coffee when he had played the same part of his song over and over again until everything felt so wrong and useless that he was ready to rip everything to pieces - including himself.

“Look at me! You did amazing, okay? You might dance horrible from your point of view but people on the outside don’t know how it was supposed to look with your shoes on. They just see what you show them now. And I’m not lying to you if I say that you are a fucking revelation when you dance. It’s goddamn beautiful!” He paused when he notices how used he was to swearing, spoiling the compliments out of habit. “Uhm..,” He awkwardly scratched his head. “I’m sure one could have said that better and more elegantly. But it’s true. I promise. You dance amazing. If you don’t let it show in your face how nervous you are and if you practice those long-ass turns a little more than you’re basically flawless.”

“They will see if I fall out of a turn, though. The jury will know,” Jimin’s voice sounded weak, but there was still a blush on his cheeks from Yoongi’s compliments. “I need something to look at. Usually I look at my dance teacher,” He almost whispered, his eyes flickering around the room nervously. “If my face isn’t right….” Jimin whined, “How am I supposed to smile when all I think about is to nail those turns? I need to nail them, Yoongi! I just have to! They all dance the same shit, the same moves. The jury sees it all day…I want them to know I am different. That I’m worth to be looked at.” His eyes stopped at Yoongi and Jimin could swear his heart skipped a beat. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Please don’t panic now. You’ll do it, Jimin. Even if you make a mistake if the rest of your routine is gorgeous you’ll still get points. And I’m sure you can find something else to look at. It might be safer to choose a point on the opposite site of the room, something that won’t move like a person’s face could and that will help stabilize you. If you need me to I can make a stain onto the wall if that helps you.” He was only half joking at that.

“A stain?” Jimin chuckled and raised his eyebrows, “They would kick you out…I don’t want that. Y-you have a competition too.” Having his hands in Yoongi’s the whole time, Jimin was now reminded of their contact and the time that was passing. With a gasp, he reached for Yoongi’s wrist looking at his watch and luckily sighed again, not letting go off him. “When it’s your turn? Can you watch me?” Jimin asked bluntly, biting his lip for his straightforward question. Yoongi could just say no. He wasn’t owing him anything, but he was the only one Jimin knew here right now.

“Can I.. uhm, sure, yes I could.. I can do that.” He normally didn’t fluster that easily but how could he stay cool if some crazily talented, lovely and pretty dancer boy who was right in front of his face was looking at him like that while more or less asking him to be the fix point he wanted to rely on for his dance performance in an important competition.

“If I mess up or fail, I give you permission to just kick me like you did with the bench,” Jimin chuckled, feeling a lot more relief now with knowing he knew one of the faces in the crowd. He grabbed Yoongi by his wrist and then pulled him along and – finally – out of the empty locker room and to his own dressing room. “Deal.” Yoongi nodded though they probably both new that he was talking nonsense; would never hurt Jimin no matter the outcome of the competition.

He got flustered again when Jimin pulled him along, right through the crowd of other dancers all while not even letting go of his hand for a second. Jimin ignored the other dancers that looked at the two of them as they burst in (very obviously one of them not being a dancer but a rapper, as they could tell by his competing number). They got stares that Jimin didn’t notice and because Yoongi didn’t want to let go of Jimin’s hand either he jutted his chin forward and pretended to not see them either.

Taking his water bottle and his make-up, Jimin quickly fixed himself up in the mirror as best as he could, before he shrugged it off, “Ah, well I guess whiny and red puffy eyes is my look now.” Yoongi watched Jimin doing his makeup, as quickly and efficiently as Yoongi could only dream of, wishing he could ask Jimin to do his too. “Let’s call it real and vulnerable and leave out the self-bashing okay?”

Turning around to Yoongi again, Jimin couldn’t help but laugh at the way some of the dancers were oozing over the rapper. “They just like you because you’re one of the rappers.” Jimin raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t you say they act like cheerleaders? It’s always the same…the rappers pretend we don’t really exist but secretly drool over the dancers while we…well, they just drool right away.” Yoongi gasped in fake shock at Jimin’s observations and puffed out his chest in an exaggerated show of fake pride before answering, “Drool over dancers? We would never! We are way too cool and smooth and… wait, did you just say you people might be interested too? What does one need to do to get a chance at dating a pretty dancer?” He was teasing Jimin slightly though his spine tingled at the thought of actually dating Jimin for real.

Must be the pre-stage adrenaline talking.

“Sure, they are,” Jimin put on a little bit of tinted lip balm, making his lips shiny and giving them a rosy undertone. He couldn’t ignore the little stab in his heart, when Yoongi talked about dating one of the dancers, maybe he meant even more than one. Maybe he was just like the other rappers when it came down to looking for sex. Jimin nodded over to the other dancers in the dressing room, the ones who kept staring at Yoongi, “Just go over there then and ask. I bet they will gladly give you their phone number.” He shrugged his shoulder and turned around to the mirror again, putting on a little more lip balm. “I need to get dressed anyway.” Jimin smiled faintly, trying not to show that he was a teeny tiny bit jealous at the thought of Yoongi simply ignoring him for superficial (at least in his mind they were or maybe it was just the jealousy speaking) dancers. Getting out a shiny, silver top out of his bag with a sparkly jacket and what looked like leather pants, Jimin sighed. When he noticed that Yoongi didn’t move, Jimin looked at him, hands already holding onto the hem of his shirt, revealing just enough of his stomach for Yoongi’s eyes to drop down. “If you stay though,...ehm, could you turn around maybe?”

Yoongi licked his lips, the answer already on his tongue, something along the lines of ‘why would I go over to them and ask for your number if you could just give it to me directly?’ but he hesitated for a second to long and then Jimin lifted his shirt and his thoughts were just gone. The younger showed off his smooth, flat stomach, shirt riding up enough to hint at his abs. Though what was even more mouthwatering was the little happy trail that lead his eyes naturally down further and further until it disappeared in the hem of his pants and all Yoongi wanted to do was get the fabric out of the way to see where it lead, to get a glimpse of… he coughed when he realized that Jimin had spoken to him but he hadn’t really gotten what the other had said so he just stood there, blinking at Jimin who was still standing there like he was about to strip right in front of his eyes and didn’t know how to react.

“Pardon?”

“Turn around, please.” Jimin blushed a little, holding his shirt in front of his chest now, “I’d like to undress...and…” He motioned for Yoongi to turn and only then did the other react and Jimin could have sworn he saw blushed cheeks. Had he blushed because of him? Jimin quickly pushed that thought back and got out of his pants and into his dancing outfit. “You can turn back now.” He was still securing the belt, fixing the top and then smoothed over the jacket. “What do you think?” He did a little turn, bending over to his feet and turning up his pants that now, without shoes, were a little too long.

“Yeah, that’s.. that’ll go.” Yoongi’s voice was a little too affected for his liking though he couldn’t help it: Jimin looked stunning! Not that he hadn’t looked pretty before but his stage outfit was simply unfair! His pants were a little tighter and so they accentuated his muscular legs. It was almost impossible to keep from staring at them. His shirt had a low cut neckline and gave a hint of collarbone and chest, something that Yoongi was just weak for. On top of it he wore a sparkly jacket that was glittering and shining, making him look like an actual prince. “You look amazing.” He finally confessed, almost a little shy now that he was faced with so much beauty.

“Thank you,“ Jimin averted his gaze, not really sure what to say now and if he should complement Yoongi back or if this was awkward or…

“You’re not bad either,“ He could have slapped himself for that in the face. He had panicked, wanting to tell Yoongi that he thought of him as handsome, too – even without sparkles or a fancy outfit. “I mean…I just…you’re handsome. That’s what I was trying to say ehm…“ Jimin rubbed his neck awkwardly. He was almost relieved when the door opened and a man, holding onto a clipboard was announcing their group of dancers next.

Yoongi burst into laughter, breaking the tension. “I’m ‘not bad’ hu? What a nice compliment..” He felt relief that he wasn’t the only awkward one - and that his interest didn’t seem so one sided or else Jimin wouldn’t have gotten so adorably shy. Before he could deepen that assumption the door opened and Jimin snapped back into focus, body tensing up immediately and so quickly, that Yoongi was afraid the other might have pulled a muscle. The blush on Jimin’s cheek vanished and instead he paled again.

“Hey...” Yoongi reached out for the others shoulder, gently digging his thumb into the hardened muscles until Jimin lost a bit of the tension. “Don’t do that. No overthinking please. You were doing great before; you’ll do great on stage. I’ll be in the crowd so you will have something to focus on and the judges will be absolutely blown away by you. You’ll see, I can predict the future. Those of pretty dancers at least.”

“Why are you so kind to me?“ Jimin whispered, unsure eyes searching for Yoongi’s in a weak attempt to ground himself. Nervously Jimin pulled at his bottom lip. They let everyone else exit first, before Jimin took a deep breath again. “O-kay, let’s do this.“ Jimin didn’t move. “Okay…now.“ Jimin was still frozen, hands shaking. “M-maybe if you drag me outside?“

“Because I want to. And soft people deserve kindness.” He shrugged his shoulders. Yoongi thought of himself as simple. If someone was nice to him he was nice to them back - which also applied for the other direction of course. But Jimin was nice and even though they had a rocky start he liked their way of talking to each other. Unfortunately, even kindness didn’t get Jimin to move so Yoongi did what Jimin had asking him to. Kind of.

“As you wish.” He commented, the only warning that Jimin got before Yoongi bend down, getting an arm under his knees before sweeping Jimin literally off his feet and carrying through the door bridal style. In the hallway he gingerly set him down looking at him with a deadpan expression. “Can you walk the rest, or do you want me to carry you like this on stage?”

“I…I just …wanted to hold your hand again but if you want to carry me everywhere from now on…I’ll gladly let you do so,“ Jimin giggled, the sweet gesture of Yoongi loosening him up again. “Thank you.” Reaching out for Yoongi’s arm he squeezed him lightly, hand falling down to his to interlace their fingers. There was another announcement and Jimin jerked violently. This time, he just took a deep breath and walked ahead, leading Yoongi into the gym and into the crowd of people that surrounded the stage. It felt strangely right to hold hands with the dancer that he had barely known for an hour now. Yoongi allowed himself to think about how amazing it would feel to get to know him even better, to take him out to dates and talk through the night and then hold his hand (or foot just to help him stretch again) but his thoughts were quickly cut short when he felt Jimin flinch again. The boy was so jumpy he felt like there must be some bunny genes in him. He inched a little closer, hoping that his presence would calm him a little (he had been told before that his ‘lethargic appearance was as grounding as a ton of bricks’).

Jimin kept his gaze low when he squeezed through the people and to the left side of the stage where the dancers entered the stage each time their number got called out. They were getting closer to his own. ”Y-you can stay here,“ Jimin said a little breathless as he began to warm up his muscles again. Then he hesitated. Only two more dancers in front of him. “Thank you, really.“ Jimin smiled at him and before he could think about it, the boy leaned in placing a soft kiss on Yoongi’s cheeks and then quickly ran off, while his heart felt like it was jumping right out of his chest – and it wasn’t because of his nervousness.

He waited, jumping from one foot to the other while the music was thumping loudly out of the boxes, but he ignored the other dancer completely. It would only make him more of a nervous wreck to watch how good he was. Jimin only looked up to search the crowd and meet Yoongi’s eyes again until someone stepped in front of his view.

“Number?”

Jimin looked up at the man with the clipboard again, telling him his number quick and then lined up at the side of the stage. Closing his eyes, Jimin inhaled deeply. His stomach churned, heart beating fast and he felt like he was about to faint. And then his name was announced.

“Number 78, Park Jimin, Arts and Dance Company Seoul.” The voice said over the speaker and a gasp fell over the crowd. They were still clapping, but it sounded a little off, as if they weren't sure. Heads were turning as everyone tried to get the best view.

All eyes were on Jimin.

“It’s him.” A young boy next to Yoongi exclaimed and squeezed himself in front of him, eyes wide and mouth opened in surprise. “Who?” His friend followed him close, apologizing quietly to Yoongi when he bumped into him. “The one I told you about! I want to be like him so bad!” He answered and pulled his friend up to the front row so he could see the performance perfectly. To say Yoongi was confused would have been an understatement. Or maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but suddenly everyone around him seemed to talk about Jimin. The boy he found crying in the bathrooms, wanting to quit because he had forgotten his shoes. It just didn’t add up. There were too many voices, too many information’s pouring down on him and he couldn’t process one bit of them as he tried to keep his gaze on Jimin - just like he had promised.

“If he wins this again it would be the third time in a row.” Yoongi shook his head, looking at the man that passed and said it so nonchalantly. But hadn’t Jimin said that it was his third time competing in this competition? That would mean…

“Do you think he’ll give me an autograph?” A what? Yoongi snapped around to that person, whose eyes were shining while they followed Jimin as he walked up on stage. “Why is he barefoot?” Another one asked and Yoongi turned back to Jimin, trying to concentrate on him and solely him. “He lost weight again, right? And he dyed his hair. I loved his pink hair.” Yoongi gulped.

“So, that’s what he looks like,” A group of dancers came closer, all eyes on stage where Jimin was getting into position. “I think he’s overrated. This whole ‘I don’t show my face’ thing is just...” He rolled his eyes. “What even is he trying to keep up with his mystery. He should be showing off, don’t you think?” The other dancer just shrugged their shoulders, crossing their arms in front of their chest. “I think he’s amazing. I wouldn’t hide if I were Park Jimin.”

“Especially not when all of the rappers are drooling over me. Last time, they were all up Taemin’s face because he knows Jimin. You don’t want to know how many asked for Jimin's number. It was so annoying.” His friend chuckled, “What would I give to be him. And he doesn’t even care. He never shows up at the after party.” Their chatter died down and the whole gym hall went quiet when the music started.

All eyes were focused on the stage and on Jimin, whose expression completely changed with the first beat of the music. The unsure gaze was replaced with a dark gaze, smile turned into a wicked smirk as he licked over his lips sultrily. His walk oozing confidence and Jimin raked a hand through his hair, showing off his sharp jawline (the girl next to Yoongi had to hold onto her friend, looking as if she was about to faint). Perfectly timed on the music, Jimin snapped his head around and winked, just right before the beat dropped and the crowd went crazy.

Whoever this was, this wasn’t sweet Jimin anymore.

Jimin was completely gone in his own world, in which he didn’t need to think about insecurities or shoes that he had forgotten but simply dance. His routine had started off with a rough hip-hop beat, hyping up the crowd perfectly when it suddenly changed. Yoongi felt whiplash. The audience was going crazy, when Jimin lost his jacket, throwing it somewhere and then the isolated and fast dance moves were now replaced with something much softer. Jimin was one with the music and Yoongi had never seen something as beautiful as this, recognizing some of the movements he had done in the locker room. He was about to convince himself that this was just a beautiful dream, that something as mesmerizing as this couldn’t exist in the rough world he was living in, maybe he was still in bed and it was the day before the competition, when Jimin’s eyes met his. For a second, the insecure boy was back, searching his eyes to reassure himself and Yoongi smiled.

He was the anchor Jimin needed whenever he was at risk of losing his confidence which luckily wasn’t that often. Yoongi was pretty sure that people who didn’t know Park Jimin, who hadn’t seen him like he had wouldn’t even recognize the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes or the shape of his mouth.

“Ah, I see this is why you’re here,” A familiar voice next to Yoongi startled him effectively as the song faded out. There was silence for a couple of seconds, where Jimin bowed and then the crowd suddenly went crazy. People cheering loudly, but Jimin doesn’t seem to notice it. The anxious gaze was back, a faint, nervous smile and then Jimin turned around. Yoongi’s eyes followed the dancer who hurried off the stage to get some air into his lungs and only then he looked at his friend - Hoseok. “Fuck, man. We’ve been looking for you!” Hoseok nudged his side, “You okay there? I see you found something to get your mind off things?”

“I.. I was just..,” Yoongi cut himself off as he saw the knowing smirk on Hoseok's face. Babbling like an idiot wouldn't convince Hoseok that he had just been ‘chilling’ like he had tried to make it seem. He probably had seen him staring at Jimin in awe already. So, he just shrugged his shoulder. “ I needed something beautiful, so I went to see the dancers. Why were you searching for me? Are you already lost without me?”

“Yeah, do whatever, man. We’re on in thirty minutes, that’s why I’m here. You better be there or Namjoon will behead you.” Hoseok patted his shoulder, cocking up an eyebrow, “You know how nervous Namjoon can get and I don’t want him to accidentally break a microphone. That’s your job to piss of the tec’s. After that there will be enough time to drool over the dancers.” His friend chuckled low at the many memories of Yoongi mic dropping and giving everyone at the venue a heart attack. “So, you coming?”

“Yeah, sure…,” He went along but his eyes weren’t on Hoseok or the direction he was walking, he was looking at the part of the gym where the dancers were mingling, trying to find Jimin and give him a sign that he had to leave. He didn’t want the other to think that he had just run off. Though hopefully Jimin would get it himself that he had needed to change positions and get ready for his own stage.

Jimin had seen Yoongi leave with a weird feeling in his heart. He waved awkwardly but Yoongi had already turned around.

Now he was alone again.

There were people congratulating him, strangers patting his shoulders and Jimin nodded, thanking them politely – but he didn’t want to stay and watch the competition any longer. He wanted to be somewhere else. With someone else.

“Park Jimin?” A man in a suit smiled at him and Jimin bowed in respect, knowing immediately how important that man was when his eyes flickered down to his press ID card hanging around his neck. Jimin looked nervously over his shoulder, biting his lip. He could see the other hall from where he stood. Could hear that someone was beatboxing, people waving their hands to the beat of the music at the rap competition. His heart began to race. He wanted to watch Yoongi so badly.

“Y-yes, that’s me.”

...

Yoongi warmed up his voice with a few casual raps, lines flowing more quickly the longer he rapped. Now that he wasn’t focusing on Jimin any longer he could feel his own ‘stage butterflies’ fluttering in his stomach, telling him that even though he had been on countless stages the nerves still tingled within him at the thought of basically spilling his thoughts and feelings in front of so many people.

Hoseok was rolling his head, jumping on the spot a couple of times. “You’re going to win this.” He kissed Yoongi on top of his head, very well aware that his friend hated this. “If not…I will tell everyone you sleep with a bunny cushion.” The announcer was calling out Yoongi and his opponent, hyping up the crowd and Hoseok smiled. “So, you better win this, baby!”

“You asshole!” He pushed Hoseok, no real venom behind it. He had way too many blackmail material on Hoseok as well so the other would never risk spilling anything if he wanted Yoongi to keep his secrets.

But it was enough to light the spark in Yoongi, the one he needed to spit fire on stage.

…

Jimin took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he leaned back his head. The sun was setting low, dipping the buildings around in a beautiful light and Jimin yawned. It had been a long day, one that had started out awful but turned into something beautiful. Something that made him feel light.

He had made a few mistakes in his routines, movements he needed to work on but Jimin didn’t feel the urge to drive back to his dance studio and do it immediately. Most of the dancers were already out, either back in their homes or hotels to get themselves ready for the night. Jimin had never been interested in the after-show parties. He didn’t care much about anything but dance, actually. At least until today. The doors opened again, and a bunch of people stormed out, some with medals around their necks, some discussing vividly, while others just simply parted ways. Jimin bit his bottom lip, trying to adjust his hold around two cups of coffee he was holding, trying not to lose the bag around his shoulder while also holding on to a trophy. He wouldn’t dare to let anything of it fall. He’d rather let his hands get burned from the hot coffee.

Yoongi was animatedly talking to his friends, all of them still on their post-stage high and with their medals in hand. In the end it hadn’t been enough for first place, but a medal was a medal and it was only pushing Yoongi further, making him want to work harder so that next time they would get the gold medal for sure.

The boys had persuaded him to go with them to the after competition party. Normally he didn’t like them as he wanted to go over their stage again, write new lyrics because he felt so inspired, fixing mistakes, listening to all the new music he had discovered during the competition, that kind of thing. Though he figured that if he went along then maybe, just maybe he had a slight chance of seeing Jimin again. Maybe this time he would be there, too? Speaking of which… he stopped short when he saw the younger standing at the entrance, two coffees in hand (which promptly resulted in someone running into him because there were so many people trying to get out the entrance). Who was Jimin waiting for? Would he get picked up by someone from his dance team? A trainer?

When Yoongi noticed him, Jimin’s heart skipped a beat and the younger instantly smiled at him. He couldn’t wave with everything in his hands, so he waited awkwardly but Yoongi wasn’t making any moves to come closer. He sighed.

“These are getting kind of hot!” Jimin called out for him, motioning to the cup of coffees, giggling softly in the process when it took a moment for it to click with Yoongi.

“Wh...oh!” He awkwardly started moving again into the opposite directions of his friends who were stopping and looking at their conversation with confusion written all over their faces (except Hobi who wore a shit eating grin). “Sorry, I didn’t realize...” He gingerly took one of the cups from Jimin, avoiding the other’s eyes as it suddenly became a little harder to breathe. “I thought you were waiting for a friend.” His gaze trailed down until it landed on the trophy. “I see you won the competition. Again. Your fans must go crazy right now.”

“Who is that?” Namjoon asked, eyes scanning the young dancer and then Yoongi’s reaction, but before he could ask more Hoseok already pulled him along. “Yoongi, you still coming right? Yoongi? Yon-,” Namjoon got caught off by Hoseok who pushed him forward, telling him kindly to shut and let Yoongi be.

“My what? Again? Who told you?” Jimin laughed and shook his head, awkwardly holding onto the trophy. “Yeah, I was waiting for you, actually…” Jimin blushed, “Hope that’s okay? Not weird or anything? I wouldn’t have made it without you, so this is as much yours as it is mine. And I couldn’t say ‘thank you’, yet…so, the coffee is yours.” Averting his gaze, Jimin blinked into the distance, not sure what to say, “I…I saw you. On stage, I mean.”

“Basically, everyone around me when I was standing in the crowd. I learned a lot of things. How you drink your coffee. What you think about after parties. How cute you looked in pink hair.” He was shamelessly teasing the younger just to see the cute flustered expression on him again. It was totally worth it. “Thank you.” Yoongi took a sip from his coffee while trying to figure out how to say that he would have preferred his phone number as thanks without being creepy when Jimin’s added comment had him freezing. “On stage? You mean you watched me…” There was a shy smile stealing its way on his lips and he quickly hid it in the coffee cup.

“Yes, in my opinion you would have deserved to win.” Jimin nodded eagerly, “You were amazing, and you definitely told those people off who made you feel like shit before. They will watch out for you now.” The younger noticed the smile on Yoongi’s face nonetheless and mimicked it. Adjusting his trophy again (seriously, who thought making them so big and obnoxious was a good idea) Jimin pointed somewhere behind him, “Usually, I go back to my dance studio now…work on the mistakes I made and everything b-but I thought…m-maybe, if you want to and are not busy. I could understand if you want to go to the party or something, but I would have liked to ask you if…”

“If…what?” Yoongi’s voice was soft, almost a whisper. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach again just that this time they weren’t because of a competition. “If you…” Jimin sighed, taking a deep breath, “If you want to come with me? Not for polishing my mistakes but…the coffee machine in our studio is really, really good and if we go up a few floors you have a great view over the skyline.” His eyes flickered nervously as he waited for an answer, heart jumping in his chest.

“Well, I already got some great coffee thanks to a certain someone…,” He tipped his cup a little, “...but how can I say no to a beautiful view?” He let his eyes linger on Jimin, making it clear that he wasn’t talking about the skyline here.

Jimin smiled at the rapper and then leaned in without any hesitation. He just let his heart decide for once. This time he didn’t kiss Yoongi on his cheek but on the corner of his lips. A kiss, barely there, too soft to be true. Then he let his hand fall down to Yoongi’s and took his hand again to lead the way. “I just wanted to say, ‘thank you’ properly.”

Pulling the rapper along and into the opposite direction of where he had initially gone with his friends, Jimin couldn’t help but laugh softly at the rosy blush on Yoongi’s cheeks. “Your friends won’t mind if you come with me instead?”

“Ah, no, they won’t mind.” Yoongi turned back to check on them and saw Hobi waving him goodbye in a nonverbal way of saying ‘what are you still doing here? Go with him - and tell me everything tomorrow!’

“Let’s go see your studio then.” He couldn't wait to get to know even more of Jimin.

A/N: Our second story for the Yoonmin Event :) Cat and I hope you liked it! ♡

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here4theheartbreak · 5 years

Text

Promise (YoonMin)

AO3 Link Here!

Relationships: Jimin x Yoongi Genre(s): angst, hurt/comfort

Written for Printed Melodies at @yoonminficrec

Tags: angst, self harm, eating disorder, trigger warnings, hurt/comfort, getting together, no smut

Summary: Jimin has some trouble dealing with things in his life. Yoongi is there to support him.

Word Count: ~3.4k A/N: Please, please please heed the t/w on this one guys. It talks pretty candidly about self harm, EDs, and other mental health concerns. It is 100% in the realm of fiction and I’m making no assumptions about the mental health conditions of any member - but I know that even fiction can influence us as readers so please proceed carefully. 💜

Part 1: 2014

Yoongi hated doing the laundry. It wasn’t his job anyway; it was Jungkook’s. But of course the sly youngest had won the right to no chores for two weeks, which meant Yoongi got saddled with it.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if the members kept their dirty clothes confined to the baskets littered around the apartment. They had a basket in every room and three in the bedroom, surely they couldn’t be hard to miss. Apparently they were, Yoongi learned, as he pulled the fifth crumpled t-shirt from under Namjoon’s bed.

He moved over to Jimin’s determined pile of laundry - six inches from the nearly empty laundry basket - and began to pile it in.

He scowled at the pair of boxers in his hand, noticing a copperish stain. Maybe Jimin had nicked himself shaving. Yoongi made a mental note to teach him the cold water stain trick. He picked up a pair of sweats, patting the pockets by habit. Feeling a bulge, he reached in and withdrew a small wad of gauze, stained through with blood and wrapped up with athletic tape. A sick panic set in. Was Jimin injured and hiding it? He thought back to when he’d been hit doing his other job, how he’d hidden it for so long for fear of reprimand or worse. Young pocketed the gauze and went back to his task, making a mental note to sit down with Jimin later on.

Nearly a week later, Yoongi sat in their small living room, eating a granola bar and scrolling mindlessly through his phone. Music was playing from the speakers against the wall, and Jimin had moved some furniture back and was dancing to the beat.

Yoongi was trying not to care, he really was. But Jimin’s movements kept catching his eye. The smooth twist and shifts of his body, the soft pants of his breath as he measured his air intake, the soft tap of his bare feet against the faux wood floor; Jimin was mesmerizing.

He stopped when the music faded, the room silent save for his heavy breathing. When the next song began, Jimin padded over to the couch and leaned across Yoongi, snagging his glass of water.

“Did you watch?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. You did well.”

Jimin smiled shyly, downing the water and flopping down across from Yoongi. He swung his legs up, resting his feet on Yoongi’s thighs. Yoongi sighed, trying to look annoyed. His gaze wandered up Jimin’s long, bare legs until he reached the bunched fabric of his shorts at Jimin’s thigh.

“Jimin, may I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Yoongi cleared his throat. “Have you been hiding any injuries from us lately?” He tried to speak slow and measured so his tone didn’t sound accusatory.

Still, Jimin scowled. “No. Why?”

“Well, I… I saw some bloodstains and I found the bloody gauze.”

Jimin pulled his feet off Yoongi’s lap, sitting upright. “Did you go through my stuff?”

“No, it was last week, when I was doing laundry. I’m not mad, I’m just worried.”

“Just… Stay out of it.” Jimin snapped, shooting up from the couch. Yoongi sat up just as quickly, shocked by Jimin’s outburst.

“Jimin—”

“Leave it!” Jimin said, storming off. The door to the dorm bedroom slammed, startling Yoongi out of the dumbfounded shock he’d been sitting in. What the hell had just happened?

Yoongi rose, following Jimin’s path. He pushed open the bedroom door, anger beginning to twist his stomach into a painful knot.

��Where do you get off screaming at me like that?” He snapped, slamming the door shut behind him. Jimin startled visibly, looking up at Yoongi. His eyes were puffy and wet from tears. Yoongi scowled. “What’s going on, Jimin?”

“It’s hard to talk about,” Jimin mumbled, staring at his hands on his lap.

“I’m here. I’m not mad.” Yoongi approached him carefully, settling onto the bed across from him. “What’s the secret?”

“I—I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Are you hurt?”

Jimin shook his head no.

“So what was the blood?”

“I… Do it to myself,” Jimin whispered, so quiet that Yoongi thought he must have misheard.

“You what?”

“Don’t get mad,” Jimin pleaded.

Yoongi softened his tone immediately, knowing he would need to broach this as gently as possible.

“Jimin. Look at me, okay?”

When Jimin looked up, Yoongi offered what he hoped was a comforting smile. “What’s going on?”

“I’ve been doing it for a long time.”

“Since we started training?”

“No, before. As a teenager, really. It just got worse during training… And a lot worse now that we’ve debuted.”

“Why?”

“Stress, I guess.”

Yoongi nodded. “Where?”

“My hip…. It’s… A safe spot. No one will see it.”

“That’s why you don’t like showering with us.” Yoongi chuckled. “And here I thought you were just a prude.”

Jimin laughed despite himself, sniffling. “I’m sorry I snapped.”

“Don’t be. I would have to. What do you cut with?”

“Just a razor.”

Yoongi nodded, looking down at his lap. He took a steadying breath. “Jimin. I want you to stop.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I know. But I want to help you.”

“It’s not hurting anyone. I don’t go deep, and I can still dance, and I—”

“Jimin. It’s hurting you. Don’t you see?”

“It’s better than what could be happening,” Jimin muttered.

“Hey.” Yoongi reached out before he really thought about what he was doing. He stroked his thumb over Jimin’s jaw, smiling. “Don’t do that. You don’t even know how perfect you are. The pain you feel? It’s real. But you don’t need to hurt yourself physically in response.”

“How do I fix it?”

Yoongi let his hand drop, taking Jimin’s in his own. “I’m here. Until you can handle it on your own… If you ever can… Let me be your rock.”

“Yoongi-hyung…”

“Please, Jimin. You’re too special to me to watch you do this. No matter how it feels for you, please… Don’t throw yourself away. You matter so much more than you know.”

Jimin stayed quiet, his dark eyes searching Yoongi’s face. Yoongi leaned a little closer, his heart thudding in his chest. His gaze darted down to Jimin’s full lips, moving back up to meet his gaze, his own expression a question mark. Jimin’s mouth parted when the understanding seemed to hit him. He gave a barely visible nod, the permission Yoongi was waiting for.

He closed the gap between their faces, their lips striking awkwardly at first. They fell into a rhythm quickly, mouths moving together, quick intakes of breath when the other shifted to reposition. Yoongi dragged Jimin closer, smiling against Jimin’s mouth when the other gave in and allowed himself to be pulled entirely onto Yoongi’s lap.

Yoongi pulled back, his breathing quick. “Don’t throw yourself away,” he repeated.

“I’m scared,” Jimin admitted. Their foreheads bumped lightly when Jimin pressed closer to him.

“Let me help then.”

“How?”

Yoongi remained silent for a moment, deep in thought. He nodded to himself. “You said you use razors?”

“Yes.”

“Give them to me.”

Jimin jerked back, his face twisting in horror. “Hyung—“

“Trust me? I won’t tell the others. I’ll keep your secret. But if I have them it will be harder for you to use them. You’ll need to come to me. I’ll hide them. And then we can talk about what’s going on or just sit and take your mind off it.”

“What if that doesn’t work?”

“Then we’ll try something else.”

Yoongi reached out, grabbing Jimin’s hands. He twined their fingers and squeezed. “I won’t make you promise to stop. But I’m asking if you’ll make me a promise to try.”

“You promise you won’t tell?”

Yoongi shook his head. “No. I promise I won’t unless I can’t help you further. And even then, I’ll only tell the member you trust me to tell. I won’t share it with everyone, and I won’t share it with our company. I know this is scary.”

Jimin nodded, hanging his head.

“Jimin… When we kissed… That wasn’t… I mean— You didn’t do it because of all this, right?”

“Are you asking me if I like you, Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin asked, his lips turning up into an impish smile despite the tears shining in his eyes. Yoongi huffed a little, shaking his head.

“You’re impossible. Yeah, I’m asking that.”

“I have for a long time. I knew you were… More of a free thinker when it came to sexuality but I was scared… I didn’t wanna mess up the group.”

“If we…” Yoongi trailed off, his mouth turning down in thought. Jimin waited patiently. All the members were used to this; Yoongi was a smart man, but he calculated things, and the best thing to do was wait for him to finish those calculations and let him speak his mind.

“I like you. You and I are… Pretty equal in the group, I think. And I don’t know that we would do anything drastic even if this didn’t work. I wouldn’t. The group is everything to me, and even a breakup wouldn’t jeopardize that. Do you feel the same?”

“You know Bangtan is my life,” Jimin said. Yoongi nodded.

“I want to date you.” It was a statement, not a question. Yoongi was putting himself out, baring himself to Jimin and making his desire as known as it could be.

“You do?”

Yoongi nodded.

“Should we… Tell people? The group?”

Yoongi tilted his head a little. “Kiss me again while I think about it.”

Jimin grinned at his statement and leaned forward. Their lips met gentler this time, less rushed. Yoongi pulled Jimin close and laid down with him, their mouths moving lazily as their hands slid over one another’s bodies for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Part 2: 2016

“Hyung?”

Yoongi looked up from the notebook he’d been scrawling in. “Huh?”

“Can we talk?” Jimin was shifting from foot to foot, his hands wringing in front of his stomach. Yoongi’s carefree smile slipped away immediately into stoic concern. He knew that look. He set the notebook aside and rose, setting his hand on Jimin’s lower back. Without a word, he guided him toward the bedrooms, meeting Namjoon’s gaze pointedly for the briefest seconds. Namjoon frowned a little but nodded.

Over the years, Jimin and Yoongi had worked out ways to deal with Jimin’s anxieties and other problems that arose between them. It was Namjoon that had become their middleman, a safe, unbiased opinion if things were too emotional or heated. And it had worked splendidly. Though, even Yoongi had to admit that Jimin had been tense lately, and he couldn’t figure out why. Maybe he finally would.

Once in Yoongi’s bedroom, Jimin turned, shoving the door shut. He slammed his mouth against Yoongi’s in a hungry, desperate kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck.

Yoongi kissed back, sliding his hands over Jimin’s slender hips. He brushed the delicate skin, a pang of hurt going through him when he could easily feet the hit of Jimin’s hip bones despite the musculature of his boyfriend.

“Jimin,” he whispered when Jimin pulled back to breathe. “What’s going on?”

“I missed you,” Jimin whispered, hanging his head. “We’ve been so busy with the album, I’ve barely had time to hold your hand let alone anything else.”

“I know. Come lay in bed with me. We’ll make time to be together now.”

The two moved silently to Yoongi’s bed, slipping under the covers and stripping out of their clothes. The warm blanket and firm, bracing mattress was a far cry from the moth bitten, sagging mattress Jimin had lost his virginity on years back, when they had to hide in closets and sneak out to cheap hotel rooms to make love and get time alone. It didn’t matter then, and didn’t now. Yoongi knew Jimin loved him deeply, no matter what.

Yoongi traced the old scars on Jimin’s hips, noticing the jut of his hipbones and the faint outline of his rib cage.

“What did you want to talk about, Jimin?” He asked.

“Just this,” Jimin said. He pressed gentle kisses over Yoongi’s shoulder.

“May I ask about something?”

“Mhm.”

Jimin’s hand was tracing lazy patterns on Yoongi’s stomach.

“Have you been eating well?”

The hand stilled. “Why do you ask?”

Yoongi shrugged the shoulder not commandeered by Jimin’s face. “Just an observation.”

“Of?”

Yoongi traced Jimin’s hip bone. “You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

Jimin sagged, visibly relieved. “I was afraid you were gonna say I’ve gained,” he admitted.

“Jimin. You’ve lost a lot.” Yoongi emphasized.

“I’m dieting.”

“Hm. Why?”

Jimin looked up, clearly confused by Yoongi’s statement. “Why?”

Yoongi remained silent, watching Jimin.

“Well, to... I was getting big.”

“Says who?”

Though Yoongi tried to keep his tone neutral, he knew something sharp came out with the way Jimin diverted his gaze. “Fans.”

“Jimin.”

“What? We’re nothing without them, aren’t we? If they don’t like me—“

“If they don’t like you they can fuck off,” Yoongi snapped. Jimin’s eyebrows shot up. Yoongi took a breath, steadying his emotions before speaking again. He knew he needed to be calm with Jimin, and getting angry would get them nowhere.

“Look, if they love you, why should they care if you gain a few extra pounds? You’ve been beautiful since debut. Prior even, but I’m biased.”

“You are biased. It’s just a diet.”

“It’s more than a diet, Jimin. Everyone’s noticed. You don’t look as well as you used to.”

Jimin scowled. “How do you mean?”

“Just that you look ill. You’re beautiful, but you… I mean look.” He pushed the blanket down and traced over Jimin’s hips. “I’m afraid if we make love I’m going to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Jimin whispered.

“You understand my point. Jimin… I know it hurts to hear people call you names. Trust me. But their opinion shouldn’t negate your self worth. And your worth to us… To me. I asked you years ago not to throw yourself away, remember?”

“Of course I do,” Jimin whispered.

“Well I’m saying it again. Don’t. Not over something like this. You feel alone and singled out by these comments… But you aren’t. I promise you.”

“What do you want me to do.”

“Just work on it. We have to diet, you have to work out, I get it. We all get it. But no more skipping meals for days. You think you hide it well, but you don’t.”

“I’m just not hungry.”

“Because the thought of eating makes you ill, right? Of getting too big and they won’t love you anymore?”

Jimin’s silence gave Yoongi the answer he was waiting for.

“Well, I love you,” he said softly.

“No matter what?”

“You know the answer to that, Min.”

Jimin stayed quiet, fidgeting with a loose string on the bedspread.

“Hey. Hey, I’m not yelling at you. I’m worried. You put so much pressure on yourself. To be an amazing dancer, an amazing singer, caring, optimistic, funny, sexy, beautiful... Where’s Jimin in all that? You already are all of these things. Sometimes the real you just gets lost in the added show of it. And sometimes that added junk strips away at you until you’re only bone.” His fingers brushed over Jimin’s slender arm.

“I know.”

“You know you matter, right?”

“I know.”

“Promise me?”

“I promise to try. To talk. I won’t waste what I am.”

Yoongi smiled proudly. “I love you, Jimin.”

“What?” A small, teasing smile played on Jimin’s lips. Yoongi rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

“You know what I said.”

“No, no, I think I missed it. What’d you say, hyung?”

Yoongi sighed theatrically. The rarity with which he professed his love was an inside joke between the two. Jimin knew he was loved; Yoongi’s actions showed that more than enough. But hearing it was nice too.

“I said, I love you, Park Jimin. Happy?”

“Incredibly. Kiss me?”

“Never have to ask.” Yoongi pulled Jimin closer, twining their fingers and pressing their mouths together. Jimin seemed to melt next to him, tension leaving his body more and more the longer they shared soft kisses. Yoongi knew Jimin wasn’t perfect, and the path they were on was stressful and scary for all involved, but he hoped he could offer enough comfort to keep their heads above water.

Part 3: 2018

“You’re not mad, right, hyung?” Jimin asked. His voice quavered just a little, showing Yoongi just how deeply his approval was concerning Jimin.

He crouched down, looking closer at the vibrant black letters on Jimin’s ribcage. They were swollen, the skin red and angry surrounding them. “Did it hurt?”

“Yeah, a bit. I wished you were there… Wanted to hold your hand,” Jimin admitted.

“Who’d you go with?”

“Jungkookie.”

Yoongi nodded and rose. “I’m only angry about one thing.”

“What?” Jimin whispered.

“That you didn’t take me. I wish I could have held your hand too. It’s beautiful, Jimin.”

Jimin’s entire face lit up with a cheek splitting grin. “Really?”

“Yes. It looks nice. They did a good job.”“Ah, I’m so glad you like it!” Jimin hugged Yoongi tightly, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Yoongi chuckled and pressed a kiss against Jimin’s neck, rubbing his back gently. “How long will it take to heal?”

“A few weeks.”

“So when can I make love to you?” Yoongi felt Jimin’s lips curve into a smile.

“Is that a concern?” He teased.

“Well… My boyfriend just got something added to his body that … Frankly looks incredible and… Really sexy. It’s a concern.”

Jimin pulled back, chuckling. Yoongi could see his eye roll without even looking.

“Any time you want. Just have to keep it off the mattress and don’t rub or touch it. Be gentle. It’ll be fine.”

“Then come to the bedroom with me,” Yoongi said, twining his finger’s with Jimin’s.

“No.”

“No?”

Jimin shook his head. His hair fell in front of his eyes, making him look much younger, especially with the sly, almost pixie grin he was wearing.

“Why not?”

“The tattoo wasn’t the only surprise I had for you today.”

“What’s the other one?”

“The song I’ve been working on. I’m almost done with it. I wanted you to read the lyrics.”

“Really? You haven’t let anyone touch that except Namjoon and Rabbit-hyung.”

“Well, now that it’s almost ready…. I want you to tell me what you think.”

Yoongi nodded, his attention entirely on Jimin. He walked way and dug around in his bag for a moment, withdrawing a folder. Inside, he pulled out a few sheets of paper and handed them to Yoongi. Yoongi sat down on the couch, immediately beginning to read.

He could feel Jimin’s gaze on him as his eyes slid over the words on the page. If it was anyone else, he would have snapped, told them he needed to concentrate and to back off. But Jimin was always his exception.

The words on the page screamed in Jimin’s voice. His pain over the years, the healing and aches, the smiles and love and sadness. Yoongi could have picked this out of a novel as Jimin’s. He could feel his own neutral expression slipping despite his best efforts not to let it, as he read down the page.

Even if you feel like you're alone, don't throw yourself away.

The words stood out like bold font on the page. Yoongi could hear his own voice, his words, the ones he whispered to Jimin countless times over the past five years. He looked up at Jimin, his vision blurring momentarily with tears.

Jimin shrank back. He tugged his shirt on carefully, worry crossing his face. “Is it... bad?”

“Jimin... Oh Park Jimin,” Yoongi whispered. He set the paper down and rose, pulling Jimin into his arms.

“It’s almost as beautiful as you are... It’s your voice, perfect for you. You used my words.”

“They saved me. A lot more than even you know, hyung. I thought... Maybe they could save someone else too.”

“Jimin.” The name was more of a breath than a word. Yoongi closed his eyes, letting Jimin pull him into a gentle kiss.

“I love you, Yoongi-hyung.”

“I’ve always loved you, Jimin. I’m glad you gave me a chance,” Yoongi whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

“I’m glad you didn’t let me throw myself away,” Jimin responded simply. Yoongi’s heart swelled at his words. He didn’t think Jimin would ever know how thankful he was for that too. And for everything he had now, with the one he loved.

#yoonmin #printed melodies #jimin x yoongi #jimin x suga #yoongi x jimin #suga x jimin #min yoongi x park jimin #park jimin x min yoongi #angst #mywriting

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sugainmycoffee · 7 years

Text

Yoonmin Fandom Metrics

Last month a survey was conducted to analyze the metrics of the Yoonmin fandom. Here are some of the responses:

Of these 903 responses, 826 of them (92%) of the respondents had selected that yoonmin are their only ship, their main ship or one of their main ships. This group is the one that will be focused on for the rest of this analysis. (Also was that one person lost? Did you get home okay?)

Of this focus group who mainly ship yoonmin, the bias distribution was:

Unsurprisingly, Min Yoongi and Park Jimin, the two individuals responsible for the YOON and the MIN in yoonmin, came out as the top two biases’.

However, Min Yoongi, with a staggering count of 453 votes (55%) heavily outweighed all the other members, hereby proving that he was in fact not fucking around when he claimed “Sorry mom, your son’s too popular,” in his Mic Drop verse.

As a follow up to these results, respondents provided their second bias (if any) to help the other members stand a chance against Rap God Min Yoongi.

(He still took a whopping 23% of the votes).

The most interesting part about these graphs is that it alludes to the fact that most yoonmin stans bias Yoongi (not Jimin, although he is obviously second in rank). This is probably due to the fact that of the “popular” bangtan ships, Jimin’s name comes up multiple times. Thus Jimin stans are more evenly split in who they ship Jimin with, but there are not that many “popular” Yoongi ships.

A little more detail on the focus group and how they came to stan bts and ship yoonmin is summarized in the following graphs.

BTS’ popularity has grown exponentially, with the greatest increase seen from 2014-2015 due to the release of their HYYH series. A parallel trend was observed in this analysis with the growth of the Yoonmin Fandom.

The next part of the survey focused on “Secondary Fan Creations” as Mr. Bang likes to call them. This includes but is not limited to: fan art, fan fiction, photo edits, video edits, blog posts, memes and so forth.

The results show that 99% of us are on Tumblr for the right reasons.

In terms of creating fan content, 31% of the respondents bless us on the daily with their contributions to the fandom. (Amen.) The rest of the majority enjoys and wishes to contribute to doing the lord’s work. 2% of the respondents who consider yoonmin their main or only ship do not create or want to create fan content because they think it is wrong (and that’s okay - to each their own).

The next question was the most revealing and one of the most important to this analysis. Of the 861 responses, 640 voted that the reason they ship yoonmin is due to their relationship / interactions themselves. Only 2-4% of the respondents said they shipped yoonmin because of how they look together/aesthetics, fan content, external influences, or the availability of yoonmin materials in the fandom itself. This outright disproves the common (and tired) anti-yoonmin stan (and “rare pair” stan) claims that yoonmin is usually shipped for these reasons.

Of the 30 respondents that chose “other” their reasons often eluded to specifics moments / interactions by yoonmin. Some of the more notable mentions are:

“They look like they understand each other’s struggles.“

“Their real and supportive friendship, they know each other's limits and share their vulnerabilities, so soft for each other, involve each other in the most intimate parts of their life.”

“Everything?? Idk they just vibe with me best, they're lovely and sift but also savage and have a really fun dynamic that i enjoy best.. they calm me when I’m upset as well which is like surprising bc I don’t calm down easily. +their soft moments like the earlier answer.”

“Because Yoongi is so whipped for Jimin and they look at each other like they have galaxies in their eyes“

“They look like they are real / they act like they are married / they honestly seem like they’re in love.”

“the way they are with each other in general. platonic or not, they love each other, care for each other a lot and it's nice to see. “

“From what I saw, it felt very real. Like yeah, I could get that super unbreakable bond with all of the BTS ships but for some reason, Yoonmin just stuck out for me and it felt really genuine and not just for fanservice.“

“Just...everything” (Many of you said this or voted for multiple categories from the above so everything x 10)

“You Know” (thank you Anonymous, I do know :’).

There were so many other great ones yoonmin is such a soft ship with even softER STANS istg but I won’t post them all here but you can see them in this supporting post.

It is commonly believed that ALL yoonmin stans only ship them because of the “typical” subby bottom jimin/ dom top yoongi stereotype. The data below proves this is untrue - as 34% of respondents don’t care at all or like all dynamics equally, and 18% prefer a more balanced switch relationship dynamic. Combined, the votes for these categories make up over 50% of the responses, signifying that, no, not all yoonmin stans, in fact not even the majority of yoonmin stans, ship them for this reason.

It should be noted though that, of the 48% of fans who expressed a preference for a specific relationship dynamic, 5% preferred top jimin and 43% preferred top yoongi (so yeah, top yoongi is more popular, but only to the minority group of the stans who actually have a specific dynamic preference).

Similar results were observed for which dynamics yoonmin stans feel are most realistic.

FANDOM FAVOURITES

Special thanks to my partner in research @syubd ♡ who organized and compiled the below lists of fandom faves.

Note, I have removed the “N/A” and “All” from the rank to more accurately reflect individual favourites. Furthermore, I have removed myself from the rank to eliminate an obvious bias as it is my survey most of the people who took it would be my followers (but thank you to all the people who chose me as their fave!)

TOP 10 FAVOURITE YOONMIN BLOGS

N/A - 260 votes

All YM Blogs - 107 votes

@yoonminist - 182 votes

@yoonmin - 97 votes

@foolsyoongi - 64 votes

@yoonminficrec - 48 votes

@parkjizzmin - 41 votes

@softeyoongi - 37 votes

@jimiyoong - 27 votes

@yoonminedit / @yoonminfiction - 25 votes (tied)

@mintysugasweet - 22 votes

@yoonminnet - 19 votes

Other - 217 votes - LIST OF OTHER MENTIONS

Comments: Congrats to all of the above! The real winner is “N/A” and “All YM Blogs” so tbh if you run a ym blog, don’t be discouraged, you all out here being amazing and we appreciate it!

TOP 10 FAVOURITE YOONMIN ARTISTS

N/A - 474 votes

All YM Artists - 107 votes

@knart95 - 144 votes

@artofennun - 52 votes

@yuniizu - 42 votes

@kkumri - 30 votes

@finny-red - 22 votes

@NanoNoonie - 19 votes

@askjeon / @min_x_minmin - 14 votes

@kharys - 10 votes

@colorcalamity - 8 votes

@thaidesu - 7 votes

Other - 109 votes - LIST OF OTHER MENTIONS

Comments: Congrats to all of the above! Special shout out to literally all fan artists that share their talent with us on the daily. You make this fandom what it is!!

TOP 10 FAVOURITE YOONMIN AUTHORS

N/A - 342 votes

All YM Authors - 122 votes

@MissterMaia - 161 votes

@Sharleena - 71 votes

@sugamins/BabyLove - 70 votes

@mintsoda - 43 votes

@PrettyBoyKiller - 35 votes

@springrain21 - 29 votes

@momora - 28 votes

@staticscreen- 22 votes

@jflawless - 19 votes

@Elemir - 16 votes

Other - 475 votes - LIST OF OTHER MENTIONS

Comments: Congrats to all of the above! LOOK AT THE DAMN OTHERS LIST. SO MANY GOOD AUTHORS TO CHECK OUT!

TOP 10 FAVOURITE BTS SONGS

N/A - 9 votes

All - 23 votes

Spring Day - 41 votes

Intro: Serendipity - 24 votes

Tomorrow / Blood Sweat & Tears - 20 votes

Autumn Leaves / Save Me / Mic Drop 16 votes

Young Forever - 13 votes

Rain / I Need U - 11 votes

Pied Piper - 10 votes

Let Me Know / Baepsae - 9 votes

Lie / Sea - 8 votes

Love Is Not Over / House Of Cards / BTS Cypher 4 - 7 votes

Others - 140 votes

Comments: This category was added to the survery much later and therefore did not have as many responses as the others above. Nonetheless, there’s seems to a correlation between who you ship (yoonmin) and fave BTS song. Many of the songs on this list have “yoonmin parts in the MV/Choreo” like Spring Day and BST, or are song’s where the two have particularly shined and / or produced. (They might also just be on this list because they’re lit songs in which case truuuu I agree).

DEMOGRAPHICS

YM SURVEY DEMOGRAPHICS: GEOGRAPHIC DISTRIBUTION

Overall, there were ym stans from 74 countries and/or regions that participated in this survey. The below countries were home to 10 or more respondents:

USA - 292 respondents

Germany - 44 respondents

Canada - 33 respondents

UK - 29 respondents

Brazil - 26 respondents

Australia - 24 respondents

Philippines - 24 respondents

England - 20 respondents

Indonesia - 20 respondents

Mexico - 20 respondents

France - 18 respondents

Portugal - 18 respondents

Italy - 14 respondents

Singapore -12 respondents

Sweden - 12 respondents

Turkey - 10 respondents

In addition 15 respondents declared “N/A” to opt out from providing their location information.

Other - 195 respondents (Click To See Complete List of Respondent Countries)

Argentina - 5 Armenia - 1 Austria - 7 Bahrain - 1 Belarus - 1 Belgium - 2 Chile - 9 China - 2 Colombia - 5 Costa Rica - 3 Croatia - 5 Czech Republic - 5 Denmark - 5 Ecuador - 1 Estonia - 6 Finland - 9 Great Britain - 1 Greece - 6 Guatemala - 4 Hong Kong - 2 Hungary - 5 India - 8 Ireland - 7 Israel - 1 Jamaica - 1 Japan - 1 Kuwait - 1 Lithuania - 1 Macedonia - 1 Malaysia - 9 Maldives - 1 Malta - 1 Morocco - 2 Nepal - 2 Netherlands - 4 New Zealand - 5 Northern Ireland - 1 Norway - 3 Pakistan - 2 Palestine - 4 Peru - 1 Poland - 8 Romania - 6 Russia - 1 Saudi Arabia - 2 Scotland - 2 Serbia - 2 Slovakia - 5 Slovenia - 1 South Africa - 3 South Korea - 1 Southeast Asia - 1 Spain - 9 Switzerland - 4 Thailand - 3 Trinidad and Tobago - 2 Ukraine - 2 Vietnam - 2

THANK YOU ALL FOR PARTICIPATING IN THIS SURVEY!

#yoonmin #sugmain #yoonmin fandom metrics #ym survey #yoongi #suga #jimin #afkdsjlafjlskdjfkla #ill post more istg #theres just alot to sort

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