#you can be an adult and still admire and enjoy ”children’s” media

[metallatch]

the day people realize

animation≠kids content

children media≠only for kids

is the day i can rest

[petday]

I make fandom art I make porn I make stuff that makes me miserable and I make stuff that makes me happy and I follow all the advice online but still nobody likes my art. I know it's good art and im not insecure about my talent level but no matter what I post or where I post it, nobody wants to like or interact with my art at all. I know people see it I know people are scrolling past without acknowledging what I make and it fucking sucks. I don't have friends to share stuff I make with and nobody online cares clearly. What do you do when nobody likes you or what you offer.

Good question. This response involves some of my history. I try to talk about my experiences at a comfortable distance. But please skip to the 'Solutions' part if you're bored.

My thoughts below:

It's painful. I have a lot of memories of high intensity pain due to no one engaging with me, at school and online. 'If I live in the same world as others, but it still feels like I am in a world with just myself, what is the point of trying to make things? Sure, I will feel better about myself as I grow, but I've still got no one to grow with, so I am just talking to myself. Amusing myself is fine, but I want to reach a level of fun above amusement, a level that others seem to reach so naturally.' 

In fact, maybe you are less 'outward' with your emotions, but as a child and teenager and young adult, there was a lot of screaming and crying and thrashing about 'not being granted the ability to make things others will seriously engage with me about.' 

(The pain remained after making a few friends during teenage years. The pain's attitude shifted slightly to accommodate this new life change of gaining friends. Much later, even after I became an artist with a large visible number of 'followers/people interested in something you make', the pain shifted its shape around this life change again. "People make bad assumptions of me because I have a big visible number in my profile and most websites do not give me the ability to hide that number." Summary: If your pain/frustration still remains after you gain a friend or find people who engage you, don't beat yourself up. Emotions don't work in such a way that the outcomes you desire are only guaranteed to make you happy and no other emotions will rise.)

Although I loved to look at art on websites since I was a child, one may assume I enjoyed the community aspect. I did, but only as a spectator for the vast majority of the time, since age restrictions and the harsh attitudes that exist to 'prevent the weak from touching the strong' was present in many of the sites I visited. Similar to how children get frustrated when another child cannot keep up with their play, but the child that is 'left out' can still enjoy watching other kids play from afar. It makes perfect sense to me these feelings will always exist in the world no matter what 'social media' websites people invent.

Anyway, two solution attempts in succession I tried over long-term:

1. My first attempt at a solution was immersing myself in a fantasy world I created in my mind and I held my imagination in high esteem. "I know my imagination takes influence from the things I read and admire, so it's not such a lonely world anyway." Creating episode lists of imaginary cartoon episodes and such, so dedicated to something I hardly told anyone about. It felt good. But my friends had original characters too, and they could describe their personalities and dynamics to others naturally and quickly, likely due to their earlier experiences with 'communicating ideas to others.' I was quiet and envious. Although it was fun to play with the imaginary characters in my head, I decided to take another step. Of course I could not simply go back in time to gain the similar social experiences my friends had. But I could use that desire to 'go back in time' to 'go forward in time' and gain the experience.

2. Engage in others first. Because I spent a long time in my imagination, I felt more secure about myself, so I wanted to extend the feeling of 'caring about my own work' to 'caring about others' work on an equal level.' The internet allows you to assess people before engaging to see if your compatibility might be okay. If someone had posts that resonated with me, I tried to say 'hello, I like what you posted/I like your drawing because [...]' Even if the contact ended there, it was a good practice. Gently communicate with people over time. Especially since I am sure there are people who rarely receive questions about their artworks who would love someone to engage with them as well. Of course do not do this in a 'pity' sense – you have to genuinely find something that 'touches your heart' and if the artist seems to not get much curiosity in regards to their art, you can go ahead and try to express your curiosity to them. Keep posting whatever you like, but if you engage with others, you may find someone engaging with you without even expecting it, and that is fun.

(I think society should practice finding genuine value in things they like even if they see nobody has touched it. Not pity, but removing the "does anyone else like this? If I see no one else liking this, it must be a bad thing to like, so I won't engage" attitude. Some of my favourite artwork has maybe 5 visible 'bookmarks/favorites' on an art-focused website.)

[fourswordsannotated]

akira himekawa are unbelievably cool.

soooo here's the thing. i was looking at akira himekawa's website on a whim and found a public blog, with posts that go all the way back to 2009. many hours of google translating later, and i've developed an even stronger admiration of these two women and their exceptional career as manga artists. they share so much in these posts about the creative process, their thoughts on social justice, their connections with nature, and their most major original story, gliding reki, which seems to have always been a passion project in the midst of commercial work.

from what i could gather, reki is unique in that they were determined to do it in full color. and they did it, because after reading about their career, it's clear to me that when these women set their mind to an idea, they make it happen. see also: they just recently produced and distributed their own art book, because no publishers were offering to do it in a way that pleased them.

their stated goals for reki were to make something more adult than their previous children's manga, taking place in a city, involving a lot of mechanical art, and featuring stronger romantic and self-described erotic subtext. good for them. before i get into the four swords-related stuff, i'm sharing what i could find on the internet about reki.

more under the cut, because there's quite a bit to discuss :)

not much that i could find on the blog specifically references four swords, but they have many fascinating insights about nintendo, the zelda fandom, and the franchise as a whole. i can't know for certain because this information was surmised from translated text, but it seems as if their manga with chibi link made them feel a little stifled, which is why they took a long break before returning to do twilight princess. it's not lost on me that even a work like four swords, which they may regard as not their favorite or best, still has inspired and brought together so many passionate, creative, and diverse people. this is especially sweet because it seems as if they met each other, and formed their creative partnership, because of a shared fandom interest of their own.

honda and nagano have shared their thoughts and feelings on this blog for more than a decade, and they have a lot of thoughts and feelings. throughout their entire career they've made commentary on work-life balance, their experiences as women in a male-dominated field, and their desire to create original art while simultaneously enjoying some commercial work as well. they are passionate about social justice, particularly re: women and indigenous people, and offer insights on aspects of culture and history and the state of the world that really could resonate with anyone. and they really seem to appreciate fans of their work, and emphasize repeatedly the care and thought they put into their manga in the hopes it will inspire and bring catharsis to readers. they love animals (especially wolves), being outside in nature, being nerds about art they enjoy, a certain subgenre of romantic manga that appealed to and empowered female readers in the 90's and 2000's, and traveling around the world to partake in activities like horse riding and falconry.

the coolest part is, they're still updating the blog to this day :) in fact they seem to have recently returned to it, reflecting that twitter is not their preferred manner of sharing things online. they seem very familiar with and fond of older-school blogging culture.

there's a lot more i could say here about my findings, some of which do pertain to... certain ships 💜🖤 . but i don't want my genuine appreciation for these authors to be overshadowed by that kind of conversation. in addition to a link to the blog itself, i'm including a few translated posts of interests, which you can interpret and incorporate into your perception of the media however you please. at the end of the day, it's a really cool gift that these artists have chosen to share so much over such a long period of time. by making their personalities, beliefs, and insights more visible to fans of their work, i hope it brings new context to the stories we already love.

a modern-day insight:

re: the zelda mangas. these are from several points throughout their career. please note that they have so many fond things to say about zelda as a franchise and their work on the mangas, especially regarding the way they've affected fans. i encourage you to look for yourself, on their blog and their other socials!

re: gliding reki

re: the creative process (and in the latter two, the fandom that seems to have inspired them!)

re: their two goofyass adorable tiny dogs that they dress up in outfits while also loving wolves like a lot, they love wolves (both domesticated and wild), they really love wolves

re: wolf day (every day is wolf day,)

re: indigenous rights

re: painting serious works on commission vs their manga. i can't know for sure exactly what it means, but it really does kinda hit

re: a fan and manga artist in training bringing them art and a note

and a moment from a twilight princess manga interview i found very sweet :)

okay. you've made it to the end. i know you're wondering. here you go. please remember that this is and always has been a public blog, and these posts are actually from 2009 and 2010. also please remember that the point of this post is not to cause or fuel fandom discourse, but to appreciate these authors and the things that they choose to express.

(also, this is the column they were referring to in image 1. it's FASCINATING. give it a read if you'd like!)

the dots are there. you're welcome to connect them.

thank you for your beautiful work and insights, honda and nagano. please never change.

[ismellpestilence]

Things to watch if your favorite show is being affected by the WGA strike

This is everything that I have watched and enjoyed. They are by no means perfect shows. This includes complete series, cancelled series, and series that are still in progress. Feel free to add your own recommendations.

Only Murders in the Building (Hulu; currently on season 3)

Murder mystery dramedy set in a wealthy NYC apartment complex

Staring Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomes as three residents who decide to make a podcast about the murder

The cast has great chemistry and the twists are compelling

Gravity Falls (Hulu/Disney; ended after 2 seasons in 2014)

An animated show about a pair of fraternal twins who spend the summer with their con-man great uncle in a weird, monster filled town

Absolutely iconic children's show.

Dead End: Paranormal Park (Netflix; cancelled after 2 seasons in 2023)

Animated YA show about two teens, an exiled demon, and a pug, that all work at a haunted theme park and are investigating the disappearances of some of the staff

Similar in style to Gravity Falls

Sadly cancelled by Netflix, but there's also the graphic novels to enjoy

Reservation Dogs (Hulu, ended after season 3 in 2023)

Coming of age dramedy about four Indigenous teens living on a reservation in Oklahoma as they mourn a friend who died and dream of running away to California together

Made by an all Indigenous writers, directors, and main cast

Scrubs (Hulu; ended after 8 seasons 2010)

Workplace comedy about staff at a California hospital

Praised as the one of most medically accurate medical show

Very much a 2000s comedy. Humor can be jarring/mean by today's standards

What We Do in the Shadows (Hulu, currently on season 5)

A mockumentary following 4 vampires and their familiar that live on Staten Island as they go about their boring, pathetic lives

Makes fun of the "cool, sexy, edgy" vampire trope

Based on a 2014 movie of the same name

Dead to Me (Netflix, ended after 3 seasons in 2022)

A traumedy (trauma comedy) following a woman who's husband was killed in a hit-and-run and the perpetrator who lost her own partner and secretly befriends her

It's funny about what happens but does deal with some heavy topics so definitely look into that before watching

The Owl House (Disney; ended after 3-ish seasons in 2023)

About a young girl who wanders into the Demon Realm and decides to stay there and become of witch instead of going to summer camp

Celebrates being the weirdo and being kind to people

Made by many of the same people who did Gravity Falls

The Office (Peacock; ended after 9 seasons in 2013)

Workplace mockumentary about some bizarre people who work in a boring office space

Features a lot of cringe/second-hand embarrassment based humor

Based on the British limited series of the same name

Very much a 2000s comedy that can at times be just plain mean. Season 1 is the worst season by far so if you can get through it the character become way more likeable

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix, ended after 5 seasons in 2020)

An animated fantasy about a young soldier who simultaneously discovers that her side is the aggressor in the war and that the planet has chosen her to be it's legendary protector. This forces her to leave the only home she's known and her childhood friend to fight for the rebellion, who she thought were her enemies

A remake of the 1985 He-Man spinoff series

Very "defeat them with power of friendship and also this sword you found in the woods"

BoJack Horseman (Netflix, ended after 6 seasons in 2020)

An adult animated comedy about a self-centered, washed-up 90s sitcom actor (who is a horse) as he struggles to become famous again and break out of his destructive habits

Satirizes Hollywood, media culture, and American politics

One of those shows where you aren't supposed to admire the main characters

Big trigger warnings for this one. Seriously.

Good Omens (Amazon Prime, currently on season 2)

Follows the misadventures of a demon and an angel, a witch's descendent, two unskilled witch hunters, a sex-worker, and the antichrist and his friends as the antichrist grows into his power and brings about Armageddon, all set to Queen songs

Based on the 1990 book by Neil Gaiman and Sir Terry Pratchett

The fandom focuses a lot of the shipping side of the show but forget all of that if you plan to watch it

Season 2 wrecked me

Gentleman Jack (HBO Max & the BBC; cancelled after season 2 in 2022)

Based on the real diaries of Anne Lister, a wealthy lesbian in 1830s England who is looking for a wife and to expand her business enterprises

Sadly HBO pulled away and the BBC couldn't afford to make another season without them. What was made is still worth checking out.

Our Flag Means Death (HBO Max; currently on season 1)

A pirate workplace comedy/romcom that loosely follows the real life of Stede Bonnet, a wealthy landowner who ran away to become a pirate due to a mid-life crisis. He wants so badly to be a pirate captain but is far from qualified for the role.

"Traditionally, piracy is a culture of abuse...floggings, keelhaulings. And my thought is, "Why?" And also, what if it weren't like that?" really is the thesis of the show

(Edit) omg I cant believe I forgot:

Avatar: the Last Airbender (Netflix; ended after 3 seasons in 2008)

An animated children's fantasy series in which people can manipulate one of the four elements, and their peacekeeper, the Avatar, can manipulate all four. After being frozen in ice for 100 years, the 12 year old Avatar learns that the Fire Nation has begun a war that he must stop by next summer

Literally the blueprint for the modern animation that we enjoy today. IDK what else to say. It's iconic

Hilda (Netflix; ended after 2 seasons and 1 movie in 2021)

An animated children's fantasy series set in a world full of Nordic folk creatures

After spending much of her life living in the woods with her mom and her pet deerfox, Hilda is upset to learn that her mom now wants to move to Trolberg, a walled-off city where Hilda fears there is nothing interesting to do. She quickly discovers that there is just as much magic and wonder in the city as there is in the woods.

She's voiced by Bella Ramsay and the animation is beautiful. It's all all-around good vibes show.

Interview with the Vampire (AMC; currently on season 1)

After the first interview in the 70s that ended in disaster, Louis de Pointe du Lac reached out to Daniel Molloy and demanded a do-over. He goes back to his life as a black businessman in 1910s New Orleans and the complicated relationship between himself and Lestat de Lioncourt.

It's actually gay enough this time you guys.

I'd also like to add:

The Bear (FX/Hulu; currently on season 2)

A dramedy about a New York chef who inherits a failing sandwich shop after his older brother commits suicide.

Sometimes a found family isn't all sunshine and unicorns. Sometimes its a lot of screaming and resentment and cussing each other out.

It's a very stressful to watch so it's not for everyone, but if you're the type who finds that cathartic then you should give it a watch.

The Sandman (Netflix; currently on season 1)

Begins in 1916 with the capture of the god of dreams by a greedy sorcerer. After he escapes he must rebuild his realm and repair the damage done by his absence.

Trying to describe this show is really, really, difficult. It would be easier to describe what this show isn't.

Based on the DC comic of the same name by Neil Gaiman.

[candyheartedchy]

I'd like to say you're a Very admirable figure in my life the idea you're very loud and proud whether just online or not it means a lot to me especially on account you do this in honor of your younger self and I'm Still self conscious to really live it up however I have a main f/o who's an oc of mind that all my friends legitimately refer to as my fiance while I could go off about that another day I wanted to slide in and say I've seen some negativity in the past about self shipping with media that is meant more and more for kids and while there's that whole discussion about whether adults should even be watching shows for kids is a mess I don't think there's an age limit on FUN! If I want to watch kiddy shows I'm gonna watch my shows (I'm a huge fan of Hanazuki I binge watched on youtube) and the reason I mention all of this is because you've simultaneously made me less self conscious of just enjoying whatever shows no matter who the intended audience was and the fact we don't Have to outgrow interests or types of medias but also that having a crush on a character from such a show isn't a bad thing whatsoever and is very cute (proof: you) and I'm building up the courage some to say that after watching a commercial starring Cookie Monster eating cereal I'm realizing I had such a fascination in my youth of him when watching Sesame Street in passing (didn't have cable) that seeing him in that commercial as Oddly complex and yet so cute and silly I'm like getting it now however idk how I'm gonna tell my friends I have a sudden and growing crush on Cookie Monster

I agree with that there isn’t really a age limit on having fun. Shows are entertainment, made to entertain. And everyone has guilty pleasure shows that aren’t always intended for certain audiences.

Like I watch a lot of kids shows and have f/o(s) from them, but I grew up with these shows were I had crushes on certain characters when I was younger that eventually resurfaced and I started self shipping with them publicly because of this. And sure I watch adult shows sometimes, but children cartoon are always more comforting for me.

And Cookie Monster is a sweetheart so I can understand having a crush on the character (heck one of my main f/o(s) looks like a Muppet lol).

But overall I glad you feel less self conscious of just enjoying shows that make you happy, no matter if you’re the intended audience or not. You’re allowed to watch things that make you happy! And I think now that’s there’s such a wide variety in f/o(s) from different medias nowadays that others have become more welcoming of it.

[petalcheeks]

advice on healing and living life as your inner child? i’ve heard that that’s your most true and purest self so i want to do that!

hi sunshine, this is quite difficult to answer as someone who is still trying to figure themself out but here are some tips:

🎀 unlearn the rules of adulthood that have society has always instilled in us; realize that you don’t need to “act as an adult,” just be yourself and be silly, happy, and express your joys at little things

🎀 revisit old daydreams and see if you can make them a reality now

🎀 revisit old hobbies you’ve had as a child, maybe you’ll find yourself enjoying them still; or pick up hobbies you’ve always wanted to have as a child but could never do due to circumstances or finances

🎀 limit your time on social media looking at how others live their life, spend time in nature or with yourself and try to view the world with child-like eyes; notice all the details that fascinates a child, admire how petals unfurl, how little plants peek between concrete, how the sun feels on the skin on a chilly day, how you can hear trees whispering to you in the wind

🎀 be true to yourself and honest with your feelings, our emotions were the most vulnerable as children and we have always been taught to suppress these emotions to become “mature” so try to stop subconsciously lying to yourself about how to feel, accept your feelings as they come

[ecargmura]

The End of an Era: Ash's Retirement and a New Era of Pokemon Anime

Come check out my post on Wordpress, but if you don't want to read it there, you can read my post below.

Since Friday, social media has been bombarded with the news of Ash Ketchum’s retirement and that he will be replaced with two new MCs starting April 2023.

If you’re not up to date, last month, Ash won the World Championships and became the Monarch–meaning he’s now the strongest Pokemon Trainer in the world. That’s pretty much the end of his journey now. It’s impossible to reset him now that he came this far.

Because of this, the Pokemon Company did a very bold move: retire Ash and Pikachu permanently. This is shocking because I grew up watching Ash and Pikachu’s adventures on television. While most of my Saturdays consisted of going to Korean school on Saturdays, I would always watch reruns on TV. The Pokemon anime was my childhood throughout the years. It made me enjoy my childhood with my brother. It helped me make friends. The anime was and is still dear to my heart even though I stopped watching it after the XY era–my personal favorite season is Diamond and Pearl.

Throughout these 25 years, Ash Ketchum has been the source of admiration and jokes amongst fans. His constant failures had been a source of ridicule; Pikachu’s loss against a Snivy will always be infamous. However, Ash Ketchum never gave up. After being runner-up in the Kalos League, he became Champion in the Alola League and eventually became the new Monarch of the World Championships. Fans and casual viewers have always been wondering what was next on his journey. Would he go to Paldea?

After this announcement, I believe that Ash’s journey is complete. How much higher can he go now? He’s the strongest in the world. What’s next for him is now all up to the viewers.

I’m surprised that the Pokemon Company finally got the balls to remove their iconic characters. Pikachu is the mascot, but Ash and Pikachu have always been the faces anime. They were synonymous to the anime legacy. This move is like Disney deciding to change their mascot from Mickey to another new character that’s not a mouse. Pikachu is essentially Japanese Mickey Mouse in a way.

Starting January 13, 2023, there will be an 11-episode epilogue that will conclude his journey. It’s going to be hard to get adjusted once April comes.

Regardless, I’m thankful to all the anime staff and cast members all around for their hard work these past 25 years. They left an impact on children and adults’ hearts. I hope that the new anime will leave a legacy just as big as the Ash and Pikachu era. I should get back into the rest of the Ash and Pikachu anime soon.

Alongside the epilogue, there will be a special episode regarding the AU Ash from the recent Pokemon movies. I believe they’re concluding his journey as well. I haven’t watched the AU movies, but I’ve heard good reviews about them–especially Power of Us.

Talking about the new Pokemon anime series, all we have are the poster of the two new MCs, Lico and Roy and the Paldean starters. Twitter is having a meltdown over Lico since she has black hair and blue eyes, speculating her to be Ash’s daughter in a way–especially her hairpin. Instead of her being his daughter, I’d rather want both Lico and Roy to be their own characters and not someone’s child. Ship wars are annoying, honestly.

All we know from the sneak peek is that Lico’s starter is Sprigatito and that’s about it. The poster indicates that Roy’s partner is Fuecoco. Who’s Quaxly going to belong to?

Am I excited for this change? Yes. While Ash and Pikachu are my childhood, I’m not close-minded. In fact, I’m curious to see where the anime will go here on out.

[donnabroadway]

Mommy issues

Social media is great for starting conversations, social movement, important discussions and discords and then social media allows people who shouldn't even be allowed to speak at their school assembly to have a voice. We have freedom of speech but sometimes I hear people's point of view and I'm like "what?" The mental gymnastics they had to go through to try to make their point make sense and still have holes in their argument is admirable. This conversation that we seem to have quarterly about "who comes first, the kids or the man" is fruitless as the "chicken or the egg conversation." Why do we have to pick? Also, why does an able bodied man expect to come first over his legally helpless kids? It's mommy issues.

Up until 40 years ago, a woman's survival was dependent on whether or not she had a man to provide for her. Women weren't expected to have careers, they were expected to marry their high school sweetheart or get a Mrs degree. A woman's desire was to be for her husband and children and never herself. Notice in these conversations, the woman is never in consideration even though she is the only one who can truly leave her life and she die. A woman's entire life is a training exercise in how to get and keep a man. A woman is taught how to take care of babies using dolls, how to cook using fake kitchen appliances and food, how to dress, and act to attract and keep a man. A woman without a man is as useless as a show without a foot. It's pretty to look at but is useless until they get a foot. A woman is trained to keep a man and usually keeping a man involves being a maid, a porn star, a chef, and a doll trained to only say a few words, most of which are affirmative to her man. A woman who doesn't want to spend her entire life catering to a man is doomed to a life of singleness and no one wants that. About 25 years ago, a woman was on Oprah and she told mothers that they needed to find time to take care of themselves and do things they enjoyed. This poor woman was booed to oblivion and this was the post feminism movement of the 90s. Less than 30 years ago it was radical for a wife and mother to want to do anything other than take care of her children and husband. We have come a mighty long way, which is why I would never understand why a man would expect to come before his minor children.

Let's be real, many Gen X mothers chose their men over their children. We're taught that we need to put our husbands first because children will leave. Men leave too and often men are lying on top of another woman while you are home being susir homemaker, so men and children leave the only difference is that children are often left holding the bag when their fathers or stepfathers leave. Children are expected to care for mothers who very often put men over them. Adult children now have the onus of caring for their aging mothers who have no plans or ways to provide for themselves in their older age. These same women are depending on guilt, forgiveness, and "I'm your mother" to have a warm place to sleep because the men they put over their children put other women over them. We have too many older women taught to depend on men and they cannot take care of themselves in their old age. It doesn't matter how much money he gave you in your youth if you weren't married to him.

Too many mothers made four course meals for their men while leaving their kids with noodles, hot dogs, and instructions not to open the door for anyone. Where was your mother during your formative years? Was she was working, going to school, or doing something to better their lives of herself and her children? No, more than likely she was under a man. Your mother made the choice, in her youth, that trying to keep her man happy was more important than being a present mother to her minor children. There is no reason why a grown man should be jealous that his partner is taking care of his children. There is no reason why this man should be throwing a tantrum because he's no longer first. Why is the default to cheat or belittle your partner after they become a mother? They often run to other women, including their mother for the love and affirmation they feel they are missing from their wives when they are really missing a mother's love, not the love of their wife. They are jealous that their children are being mothered in a way they never were. You cannot be a pick me woman running after men while your mother is raising your children and be a good mother. You cannot put men over your kids and be a good mother. It doesn't work like that. Now we're expected to mother grown men and fill in their gaps because they can't tell their mother they have issues with them. This is often why there is a rift in the family when a new woman comes along. Contrary to popular belief, men with healthy relationships with their mothers don't have wives with in law issues because everyone is secure in their spot and know where they stand. There will be issues when you have a mother trying to raise her adult child and insert herself in another household because a, she feels powerless in her current household, b, she has no household, or c, she secretly wants to push the wife out because she knows if her son has a wife and healthy family she is out of luck. The conversation of who comes first, your wife or your mother, is stupid as well. If my father can't come first, your mother can't come first and your mother shouldn't come first because your father should be putting her first but I guess your father isn't because he's either, a, gone or putting other women first so this is your mother's attempt to exert some control over something because what's easier to control than a child who only wants mommy's love. They also use their wives in a passive aggressive way to get back at their mother's because they cannot truly tell their mother how they feel without being seen as disrespectful.

[felikatze]

random videogame asks: a) anything on light nine specifically b) thoughts on varhya debuting the phantom thief outfits c) free space

a) L NINE...... he's so baby. he's just so baby

i LOVE the direction L Nine takes Nine's character. For the first two modes, a lot of other characters tried to treat Nine like a kid, because he is, fair, but at that point he'd already built up his facade in an effort to be taken seriously.

L Nine changes Nine's backstory just the sliiiiightest bit, by including One Nice Adult in his backstory, and the difference is staggering. Because now he does act like a kid. (I do like that his inclination toward dramatics is still there, just less prominent.)

However, one aspect i enjoy is the aspect of responsibility, which was also a major aspect of Laphlaes' arc. Through confrontation with not just the Knights, but also Lumie, Nine comes to truly realize the horrors he supported, and for the first time becomes capable of fully disavowing them. He doesn't have the same admiration for the gallus empire as his previous iterations.

This topic is handled with quite the bit of complexity, too! Obviously, Nine was a commander, and he wishes to atone for what he's done. But, as Lumie later realizes, it's unfair to pile all responsibility on him, because he is nonetheless Nine Years Old.

I've spoken about this before, I think, but i love the reversal of the Lumie-Nine dynamic so much. Previously, Lumie was the one who got Nine to drop his facade, and now, Nine is the one who can get Lumie to drop hers. Going into Lumie's character a bit, her past is similar to Nine, somewhat, both being children who got a lot of responsibility piled on them when they shouldn't have, and since Lumie failed her duties in extreme, she becomes jaded as a result, but her usual bubbly self is still there, just supressed underneath. I love their friendship! An adult seeing her past self in a kid getting a bit of closure that way....

I love L Nine's other relationships, too. Like his much changed dynamic with D Solphi, who used to hate him, but now she's like.. quietly protective. She does value him to some degree, and tries to keep him safe, like when she basically demoted him to put him out of harm's way. The softer Solphi comes from Aslan's influence, I'd wager. Having someone without some pre-established notions about her just trust her and give her a chance must do wonders for her usual bitterness.

Last note on L Nine, his kit basically perfectly counters D Nine. D Nine is a sapper, and L Nine deals out immunity buffs like candy. It's like, symbolic severance of his past self, or something

b) I may not be as big a phantom thief afficionado as you, but I do love those outfits! They're classy, and elegant and stuff. Putting the Bird Man in a suit and tophat is amazing, and i think you've seen what happened when the Lairei outfit dropped. She is so so pretty.

Giving specifically Varhya characters the elegant outfits is amazing, too, for stereotype subverting reasons. They deserve it! I like Lairei and Dhurahan being a tag-team here, since their stories are closely intertwined, for the most part. Dhurahan as a character wasn't spectacular to me, I'm kind of neutral on him, but I love Lairei so much and she totally deserves two gorgeous outfits. Congrats to Dhurahan for getting his first skin though! Dhurahan likers rejoice.

c) Thank you for the ask, June! Twas a lot of fun to think about.

Also tying back a previous thing, gotta of course tie L Nine back to time travel in LoH, since i adore so so much how characters who don't remember loops still get continous character development, in Nine's case letting himself actually act like a kid, recognizing the empire's atrocities and defecting, etc etc. Love that, so much. I love timeloops in media <3

In general time travel of any kind is one of my favorite tropes/plots/premises ever.

[hamliet]

The Girl Who Gets to Have It All: Buffy Summers

So with @linkspooky​‘s encouragement, I have binged Buffy the Vampire Slayer and relived my childhood culture. And, it's a 10/10 for me. Not that it doesn't have flaws, but it's genuinely one of the best stories I've seen, with consistent character arcs, powerful themes, and a beautiful message. It's also like... purportedly about vampires and demons and superpowered chosen ones, but it's actually all about humanity.

Buffy was able to be a teenage girl, allowed to like the things teen girls are scorned for (boys, shopping, etc), to be insecure about the thing teenage girls are insecure about (future careers, dating, school, parents), and to be a superhero with its good and its bad aspects. The story wasn’t afraid to call Buffy on her flaws (sometimes she got in a very ‘I am the righteous chosen one’ mode) and to respect and honor each of her desires (to be a good person, to be loved, and more). The story listened to what she wanted and respected her desires, giving her the challenges needed to overcome her flaws while also never teaching her a lesson about wanting bad boys or romance is silly or any manner of dark warnings stories like to throw at teenage girls. 

It respected teenage girls--nerdy girls like Willow, jocks like Buffy, lonely wallflowers with trauma like Dawn, and popular/snobby ones like Cordelia, girls gone wild like Faith. It never once reduced them to the stereotypes that were lurking right there: each character was fully rounded, human, flawed and yet with respected interests and goals. This is so rare for a story that I’m still in awe. 

The story as a whole follows Buffy from 15 to 21, of her as she grows from teenager to adult. She acts like a teenager and grows to act like a young adult, wrestling with loneliness and duty. The adults, like Giles, Joyce, and Jenny, are not perfect either, but neither are they “bad parents” or “bad mentors” necessarily. Joyce in particular says something terrible to Buffy, but she tries to do better, and it’s rare to see a parent in YA stories shown with such nuance. Basically, it wrote the long-lasting adult characters as human beings, too. 

Speaking of growing up, I appreciated how Buffy’s love interests mirrored this. Angel was someone Buffy loved and admired, wanted to be like, but who was always either extreme good or extreme bad, and combined with Buffy’s own tendencies towards black-white thinking, made for a beautiful relationship to help her grow, but didn’t necessarily form a foundation for a long-term partner. Spike, on the other hand... they both saw each other at their worst and were drawn to each other even then, and were inspired to become better because they couldn’t bear to be a person who treated the other person so wrongly. They pushed each other to become the best them they could be, and believed in each other. Also, Spuffy is an enemies to lovers ship for the ages. 

(Also, most of the other ships were well-done or at least can be understood. Riley was very obviously wrong for Buffy which paralleled Harmony and Spike in being 100% wrong for each other. Cordelia and Xander were a fun ship even if we all knew it would never last, and Willow and Oz were beautiful and cute. But Xander and Anya and Willow and Tara? OTPs. As were Giles and Jenny, the librarian and the computer teacher.) 

That said, it’s not a perfect series. No story is. All of the characters and ships had problematic aspects to them worthy of critique, and the writing is very 90s in a lot of ways. It’s a product of its time, and in many ways it’s good society has progressed beyond some of the tropes/metaphors used in the show. In other way, though, the show was ahead of its time, and in a good way it wasn’t bound by the fear of purity policing with its takes on redemption (many characters would never fly today). 

So, in order of seasons ranked from my very favorite to my “still enjoyed it very much” (no season was actually bad, imo), here’s my review. I’ll also review my top 10 villains in the show, because Buffy does villains very well in terms of the redeemable and irredeemable.  

Season 7:  Yep, the final season was my favorite. 

Overall Opinion: Buffy's finale is literally "f*ck them men, our power is ours" and while it seems cheesy it actually works (also, f*ck in both a literal and figurative sense). The series strongly hit all the themes: love as strength, and redemption. Buffy consistently shows love as her strength--*all* kinds of love. Friendship w Willow/Xander, familial with Joyce/Dawn, romantic with Spike/Angel. These types of love are also never pitted against each other as is so often the case in current-day media. It's beautiful. Also, Spike’s confrontation with Wood was so powerful in terms of exploring forgiveness, redemption, and reconciliation: where they overlap and where they don't, and what it means to move forward. 

Unpopular Opinion: I have seen a lot didn’t like the inclusion of Potential Slayers, and while I agree they could have been better incorporated/characterized, it was a great way to show Buffy’s final stage of growing up to be ending her chosen one status and projecting/multiplying her powers over the world. 

Biggest Critique: Kennedy was female Riley--the anti-Tara to Riley’s anti-Angel (by ‘anti’ I mean opposite in every way). Kennedy was annoying and immature. Her role, like Riley’s, was less about exploring her as a character and more about her just being stamped as “love interest: lesbian.” 

Favorite Episodes: Beneath You, Lies My Parents Told Me, Touched, Chosen

Season 6: 

Overall Opinion: I said this on Twitter, but I felt like this was Buffy’s The Last Jedi or Empire Strikes Back moment. It is polarizing and dark, deconstructing the tropes it stands on--but by digging to the core of these tropes, it actually makes what’s good about them shine brighter. Everyone’s enemy was the worst versions of themselves. Giles left Buffy, Willow's struggle to relate to the world led to her trying to destroy it, Buffy hurt everyone through her anger, Xander abandoned Anya at the altar, Spike... yeah. It ages well as an integral part of the story, and the Trio were eerily prophetic. 

Unpopular Opinion: Dawn is a great character with a good arc. A traumatized teen acting out and struggling to come to terms with loss and identity? She wasn’t whiny; she was realistic. 

Biggest Critique: Willow’s addiction coding (I’ll discuss this below) and Seeing Red as an episode. I see the argument for both of its controversial scenes from a narrative perspective: Willow starts the season not grieving Buffy but instead being determined to fix it with magic and needs to learn to grieve, but. Still. Bury your gays is not a good look. For the Spike scene... he conflates sex/passion and violence (”love is blood, children” is something he said way back in season 3), but like Tara’s death, it had more to do with Spike (as Tara’s death did for Willow) than with Buffy’s arc, and as for the actual execution... they really botched that. Did it like... have to go on that long or go that far? No. Also, the framing was good, but inconsistent with the rest of the series (Xander to Buffy in the hyena episode, Faith to Xander and to Riley, etc.) 

Favorite Episodes: Once More With Feeling, Smashed, Grave

Season 3 (tied with Season 5):

Overall Opinion: The opening continuity of Buffy meeting Lily/Anne after saving her life in Season 2 was sweet. The Witchhunt episode had really powerful subtext: stories of deaths that aren’t even true are actually demons that possess the town and convince them to turn against their children in the name of protecting the children. It’s a good commentary on, oh, everything in society. Faith’s character arc was fantastic, and her chemistry with Buffy was off the charts (look, I may be Spuffy all the way, but Fuffy has rights). The finale was satisfying in so many ways, seeing the entire graduating class unite to destroy the Mayor and the school with it, symbolizing Buffy et al’s readiness to move on to college. Oz's relationship with Willow was very sweet and meaningful for a first romance for Willow. 

Unpopular Opinion: I actually don’t really have one. Maybe that the miracle in Amends was earned? I think you can make a decent case that Season 3 is the best written of the seasons, but can only truly be thematically appreciated to its full potential in the light of subsequent seasons (which finish Faith’s arc and deconstruct Buffy’s).  

Biggest Critique: It forgot Buffy killed the hyena guy in Season 1, making her continual insistence that she can’t kill people very ????? 

Favorite Episodes: Lovers Walk, Amends, Graduation Day Part 2 

Season 5, which ties with Season 3:

Overall Opinion: The entire season is about family and what it means, from Tara’s to Buffy’s to the Scoobies. I loved Glory aka Enoshima Junko as the Big Bad, I loved Dawn’s interesting meta commentary on retconning (like, the fact that she’s retconned in matters), and most of my ships are still alive. Joyce’s relationship with Spike is one of the most heartwarming aspects, and Spike’s arc’s desire is clearly highlighted: he wants to be seen as a person. The episodes after Joyce’s death are the most honest portrayals of grief I’ve ever seen, and absolutely brutal to watch. 

Unpopular Opinion: Buffy’s choice at the end seems a deliberate inversion of her choice at the end of Season 2 (sacrifice a loved one to save the world), but it actually isn’t: much like at the end of Season 2 where Buffy skips town because she’s devastated after killing Angel and doesn’t want to sort out being expelled, her mom knowing she’s the slayer, and her own trauma, Buffy’s sacrifice here was as much about her wanting the easy way out of relationships, family, college, etc. as it was about saving Dawn. Buffy’s death is coded as a suicide, which Season 6 emphasizes as well. 

Biggest Critique: Like Season 3, I don’t have a lot to critique here. I wish the suicidal coding had been a little more obvious in Season 5 itself, but also I’m not sure it could have been more obvious; it’s pretty apparent if you pay attention. Maybe also that Buffy and Riley’s relationship failing should have been more squarely blamed on Riley, you know, being insecure and cheating. 

Favorite Episodes: Family, Fool for Love, Intervention. 

Season 2:

Overall Opinion: Heartbreakingly tragic but exciting and revealing at the same time. It asked the viewer interesting questions about redemption and forgiveness and atonement through Angel being honest about his past, and then decided to show us his past now reenacted, challenging us. And still, we saw them save him in a parallel to saving Willow in Season 6 (but Season 2 was tragic because it wasn’t enough, while Season 6 was not). Jenny’s death was agonizing, and the scene were Angel watches Buffy, Willow, and Joyce get the news through the window was powerful. We didn’t have to hear them to get the grief. 

Unpopular Opinion: Jenny’s death isn’t a fridging; it works for her arc too when you consider her history. She worked to save the person whose life she was tasked to ruin, and it cost her her own--yet she still succeeded, because Jenny brought joy and wisdom to the show. Kendra’s death, on the other hand... was because they needed the stakes to be high--but we already knew that before she died. So, her death was useless. 

Biggest Critique: The subtext was Not It. It was essentially “do not have sex. Your older boyfriend will lose his soul, kill your friends, you’ll lose your family, your school, your home, and have to kill your true love or else hell will literally swallow earth.” 

Favorite Episodes: School Hard, Passion, Becoming Part 2.

Season 1:

Overall Opinion: I really liked it; it’s just lower on this list because the others are just better. It’s a great introduction to the series and to its characters, from Giles to Buffy to Willow to Jenny to Cordelia. It has great subtext a lot of the time (for example, Natalie French as She-Mantis is a literal predatory bug who engages in predatory behavior with students). Additionally, it subverts the typical YA trope of two guys and a girl, in which the girl is usually the least interesting character. Buffy and Willow were both fully fledged characters from the beginning with distinct strengths (even before Willow became a witch, as she wasn’t one in season 1 yet), while Xander was the more ordinary of the group. 

Unpopular Opinion/Biggest Critique: Xander’s arc showed its first flaws that unfortunately continued throughout the series: his writing was either very good or very indulgent in ways it never was for other characters.  (cough, the hyena episode, cough, in which he gets to skirt responsibility--and acknowledges that he is skirting it--for something the show will later hold others to account for). Xander’s just kind of inconsistent, which weakened his character over all. (Which is why both his love interests--Cordelia and then ultimately Anya--were good for him: they did not indulge him.) 

Favorite Episode: Witch, Nightmares. 

Season 4:

Overall Opinion: it’s still a good season. It’s a good portrayal of college and the growing pains of branching out, the strains of college growth on relationships (romantic and platonic). It shows us the first hints of Spuffy, giving us some serious Jungian symbolism between Spike and Buffy early on, and does well in establishing Xander/Anya and Willow/Tara as beautiful OTPs. Faith and Buffy’s foiling is fantastic. The Halloween episode was very fun as well. However, it suffers because its Big Bad, Adam, is not all that compelling thematically--yet, he could have been. See, the final battle pulls off the Power of Friendship in a really strong way but notably the season does not end there. Instead, it ends on dreams of each character’s worst fears, continuing what we saw in Nightmares in Season 1. Why? Because it shows us that the characters’ wars aren’t against monsters, but monsters of their own making: their flaws. Adam, as a literal Frankenstein, exemplifies this, but it wasn’t capitalized on as well as it could have been. 

Unpopular Opinion: Beer Bad isn’t a bad episode, at the very least because Buffy gets to punch Parker. It’s not one of the series’ best, obviously, but it does give Buffy an arc in that she gets her daydream of Parker begging her to come back, but she has overcome that desire and her desire for revenge. If we wanna talk about bad subtext in Season 4, Season 2′s Not It sex subtext continues in the Where the Wild Things Are episode in this season; it’s a powerful callout of abusive purity-culture churches, until the fact that the shame creates a literal curse undermines the progressive message it’s supposed to send. Also, the Thanksgiving episode (Pangs) is a nightmare of white guilt and Oh God Shut Up White People. 

Biggest Critique: Riley is awful. Like Kennedy, he had “love interest:normal” stamped on him and that was it. The thing is, he could have worked as an Angel foil, representative of the normal-life aspect of Buffy to Angel’s vampire/supernatural aspect, but the writers never explore this and seemed to even try to back away from that later on. They threw all the romantic cliches at the wall to see what sticks, from klutzy “I dropped my schoolbooks, that’s how we met” to cliché lines that had me rolling my eyes. Do you know how bad a romance has to be to make me dislike romantic tropes? 

Favorite Episodes: Fear Itself, Hush, Restless

Villain rankings: 

Dark Willow, the only villain to be truly sympathetic. While the addiction coding was insensitive and, while unsurprising for its time, aged extremely poorly. That said, Willow’s turn to the dark side after Tara’s death worked well for her character and the story: it was believable and paid off what had been building since Season 1's “Nightmares” episode (Willow’s inferiority complex). 

Glory managed to be genuinely terrifying, and humorous/enjoyable too. Her minions and their numerous nicknames for Glorificus were hilarious, as was her intense vanity. Her merging with Ben--a human being who genuinely wanted to be kind and good--added complexity and tragedy to her role. 

The First. A really good take on Satan. The seventh season as well as the First’s first appearance in season 3′s “Amends” had kind of blatant Christian symbolism, and so the First being essentially Satan works. Their disguising themselves as dead loved ones and the subtle manipulation they used to alienate people was really disturbing and well done. 

The Mayor, who was a terrible person but a truly good father. He provided an interesting contrast to the normal ‘bad dad’ bad guy character, in that he provided Faith exactly what the other characters refused to: he saw the best in her and offered her parental support, while the heroes didn’t and wound up pushing her away. 

The Trio, who were villains ahead of their time: whiny fanboy reddit dudebros, basically. The stakes seemed so much lower than fighting Glory, a literal god, the previous season. But that’s why they worked so well for Season 6′s human themes, and were especially disturbing because we all know people like them. I also appreciated the surprisingly sensitive takes on Jonathan and Andrew, who got to redeem themselves, but Warren did not, and I don’t think he should have either. 

Angelus + Drusilla. I’m ranking them below the Trio because Angelus was just sooooo different from Angel that it was difficult for me to feel the same way for him. He was still Angel, so it wasn’t possible to enjoy his villainy, but he also wasn’t nearly as sympathetic as Dark Willow, had no redeeming qualities like the Mayor, and wasn’t as disturbingly realistic as the Trio. However, the emotional stakes were excellently executed with him as the Big Bad, in that you were never quite sure how to feel and it just plain hurt. Also, Drusilla was a favorite recurring character. She was sympathetic and yet batsh*t enough to be enjoyable as a villain at the same time. 

The Master, who was just completely camp and really worked as an introductory villain. He was scary enough to believe he was a threat, and was funny enough to introduce the series’ humor as well. He was, like Glory, an enjoyable Big Bad. 

The Gentlemen, the one-off villains of Season 4′s Hush who were genuinely terrifying. It’s not as if they got a lot of explanation or any backstory, but they didn’t need it. 

Caleb, the misogynist priest. Fitting with the First’s Christian symbolism, Caleb serving as a spokesperson of all bad religious beliefs felt appropriate. He was also a good foil to Warren--being actually supernaturally powered instead of a wannabe--and to Tara’s family in being full-out evil. I despised him. 

Snyder. Okay Snyder is not a Big Bad like Adam is, but let’s face it: Adam is lame compared to the other villains. But Snyder as a principal? He was so irritating and yet really well used in the series to critique overly strict, hypocritical teachers. Like, we all know teachers like him. I loved to hate him, and his ending was so satisfying. 

[nyxetoile]

I don’t mean to be a stalker but after reading your Loki/Syn series, I just couldn’t help but come over to your tumblr and hopefully see your old posts whilst writing the fanfic. Lemme first of all say thank you for writing the series!! There were moments from your writings that reminded me of the Loki that we now see in the Disney plus show. I’m still in the process of reading, but I couldn’t help but find you on tumblr!

After many scrolls through your account, I learned that you’re a mother and I admire that a lot. I grew up thinking that being passionate in a hobby or a fandom stops when you’re married because the people around my life —as well as what the media tries to tell me — say that having a hobby can take up so much of your time. You can say I’m in the process of becoming an adult so here I am, actually freaking out that I’ll eventuallly have to loosen my interest in the things I consider as my escape from reality. This whole time, I even thought a fandom has this unspoken “age limit” because I am noticing that I’m becoming older than the people I know. Having you in this platform makes me realize that there’s literally no point in trying to lose interest in the things I love.

Also, I swear I’m almost done. I just gotta say this but I think it’s really cool how surprisingly mature your child is, given her age. Apart from that, she seems really cool too. I don’t know what food you’re giving her or what knowledge or wisdom you’re bestowing upon her, but I think you’re doing a superb job as the cool parents for her. What is the secret to a good relationship with your child?

Ok, lot to address here.

First off, thank you so much for reading! I'm really glad you're enjoying the Loki/Syn stories, they are some of my favorites. I'm loving the new Loki show, and am very gratified that some of the character decisions I made about him in my fics have been confirmed by the Loki writers. There is a Loki-show based Syn story coming soon.

Second, of course hobbies don't stop when/if you become a wife and mother! There is likely going to be some reorganizing of priorities and time balance, but you absolutely should not give up your passions just because you add more. When my kids were young I wrote lots of fanfic and read a lot. I didn't go to as many movies in the theater as I would have liked. Hell, my MCU fan fics started with Thor 2, when my eldest was 5 and my youngest was an infant. I had other fandoms/wrote fics before that, but the MCU happened after motherhood. The kids are now older so movie going is a lot easier (hubby and I are seeing Black Widow tomorrow).

And finally, I'm not sure how much credit I can take for my awesomely cool daughter. Clover is as she has always been. She was smart and precocious as a toddler and it has only gotten worse from there. My parenting advice boils down to "treat them like people." I don't mean treat children like adults or like your friends, but remember that they are people with interests and feelings separate from yours. Support their interests. Suggest things they might like and don't take it personally if they don't. Answer their questions honestly and age appropriately. Listen when they talk. Respect their opinions and explain why you're doing things. Clover has been active on the internet several years. My husband and I put down rules to protect her privacy and safety and explained why and the consequences of not listening. I have always encouraged her to explore and moderate her own content. (When I switched her Netflix from "kid" to "adult" I told her "If something makes you uncomfortable, turn it off. Sex in movies is not like sex in real life. If you have nightmares that's a you problem." And that seems to have been sufficient.) She has watched horror movies I wouldn't touch. I KNOW she reads stuff on AO3, but she swears none of it's mine. I buy her whatever books she wants (and like, every fucking tarot card deck Barnes and Noble sells) and warn her if I think there will be content she doesn't like. ("Sure you can read Clan of the Cave Bear. The main character gets raped a lot, though." Child slowly puts book back on shelf.) She knows no subject it taboo or too weird for me to discuss. When she said she wanted to try therapy I got her a therapist, no questions asked.

Kids are people. A parent's job is to raise them into a functioning adult. The best way to learn something is practice. So let them practice making decisions and thinking up arguments and asking questions so when they're on their own that's all easy for them. We're also not letting her move out until she can build a piece of IKEA furniture, cook 3 meals on her own, and check her oil.

[frozensriracha]

Lazari headcanons please

To say that Lazari takes after her father is an understatement

She’s a demon of chaos and destruction, and while she’s definitely not as powerful as Zalgo, she can be quite a hassle for those who don’t know how to handle her

Like her father, she’s able to get into humans’ minds through the media and drive them insane.  However, since she’s not able to have contact with humans frequently for a few reasons, she has to make her contact worth it.  Because of this, she tends to corrupt adult media and drive adults insane.  They’re more of a challenge than children, but it’s so worth it.

One of her preferred modes of doing this is through math videos for high school and college students because their nerves are already pretty frayed

Her teeth are kind of like shark teeth--they grow in rows and they grow back bigger than before

Lazari is probably nocturnal and it’s impossible to get her in bed before ten o’clock, and even then, she gets up almost every night and sneaks around the mansion

Slender’s just given up at this point

She absolutely lives for pandemonium and thrives in chaotic environments (hence why she likes the mansion so much)

She often tries to join the residents of Slender Forest in any stupid shit they try, however, since she’s so young, her attempts are usually blocked

However, sometimes, Nina, Toby, Deerhead, or Clockwork will humor her and help her dye her hair with Kool-Aid or short-sheet someone’s bed or something

She has desperately wanted to go to a rave ever since she met Nina, and while she’s way too young now, Nina has promised to take her the moment she’s old enough

Lazari can disguise herself as a human, however, she’s not very good at it.  She still maintains sharp teeth, red-tinged claws, pointed ears, red eyes with slit pupils, and if she gets angry, a mouth might emerge below her collarbones.  She still has pink hair, but as she gets older, people simply assume it’s dyed. 

Lazari’s creator said that she can only see in shades of red, and that is one of the only parts of canon I accept on this blog because screw canon

Her tastes in food are also...unusual, to say the least

She likes meat--rare meat especially--and sometimes LJ’s poison candy (which only gives her stomach trouble due to her being half-demon,) and obviously her favorite food is monster.  She’s not able to eat it often, for obvious reasons, so usually she resorts to eating animal and human meat and blood, with a preference for human meat.  She doesn’t much care for produce or dairy, and grains (except, surprise surprise, pasta) are iffy

Forcing her to eat a balanced diet is like Slender’s personal circle of hell-

She has bitten everybody in the mansion at least once (whether it was on accident or on purpose varies,) and they all have the bite marks to prove it

However, on my blog, Slender stepped in pretty quickly, and kept her away from any nonhuman pastas until she had calmed down enough to be around them

Lazari, like Sally, is both a princess and a tomboy.  She leans a little more towards tomboy (she likes being the dragon whenever she and Sally play princesses and knights!  The “princess” usually ends up befriending and taming the “dragon.”)

However, she’s different from Sally in that she’s a lot more feral than her

That and she’s a lot more of a troublemaker

The mischief Lazari gets into can range from harmless to full-on malicious 

Slender has the ever-present fear that Lazari will fully corrupt Sally (she already has a little bit)

But Lazari’s also way overprotective of Sally, and if any older pastas (coughcough, JEFF, coughcough) try to push her around, they usually end up in E.J.’s office with a mouthful of teeth in their butts

Regarding E.J., on my blog, she does NOT have a crush on him.  Never has, never will.  Instead, it’s more like an admiration.  Given her taste for pasta flesh, she has a bit of a macabre fascination with anatomy, and often watches him and Cody work.  They enjoy the validation and are more than happy to let her watch (Cody more so than E.J. because he’s a bad influence who shouldn’t babysit,) let her have a bite to eat, and maybe teach her a few things about the human body when she’s older

Slender regrets letting her watch Harry Potter, because ever since then, every time the older pastas won’t let her participate in something dumb with them, she screams “My father WILL hear about this!”

And hear about it he does

Whether he’ll actually do something or even listen is another matter, unless of course it’s to spite or one-up Slender

Man, those two need to get a life.  Or at least some friends or a different hobby

Slender had Doby teach her how to play baseball so she could put her energy into something other than terrorizing him and the other pastas, and she’s enjoying it immensely

Lazari probably has some serious sass, and often says inappropriate things at inappropriate times (not usually on purpose, but sometimes)

Already, Lazari is very feminist, and takes the phrase “respect women or die” quite literally

But she means well!

Like Zalgo, I imagine Lazari to be very hot-headed and somewhat impatient, and she’ll probably be a little Karenish when she’s older.  But for now, it’s just limited to temper tantrums when she’s force-fed vegetables or being begged to go to bed at a reasonable hour

The pastas think it’s pretty funny when she goes ballistic, but Slender’s not having any of it

One way Slender’s taught her to control her anger is by buying her a couple of gerbils to practice being patient with.  At first, he was afraid she’d turn their habitat into kindling, but she’s surprisingly good with them!  She named them Hopper, Pixie, and Peanut, and while she suckered Toby into cleaning their habitat, she loves playing with them and having them scamper around her room

She loves cute things, but she’s way too prideful to admit it.  When someone tries to make her admit it, she puffs up and tries to act like a grown demon, and honestly it’s pretty cute, kind of like a lion cub trying to roar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBjKntYuUIk <- a visual for you

With all that in mind, Lazari is pretty fond of life on earth--a little too fond maybe--and when it comes time for Zalgo to destroy the world, she’ll probably put up quite a fight

[desperateground]

since we're doing anti discourse i guess: the antis ive seen on their own blogs (as opposed to other blogs askboxes) seem more concerned with media that portrays pedophilia in a positive light, as that very much can influence people into thinking it isn't THAT bad. If portrayed as the bad thing it is, they dont mind. Personally, do you see a difference in something that goes "heres an adult in love with a child, how sweet" as opposed to "heres an adult in love with a child, isnt that fucked up?"

under a cut cause this got long

I would love to be on the internet where you are, because it sounds a lot more reasonable than the one I live on, where stuff like this just makes me go ???

the thing is that fiction actually does influence people’s perceptions of reality, and we ought to care about that! if a person grows up watching movies where cops break the rules but it’s OK because they’re the good guys; or where stalkerish and manipulative behavior counts as “grand romantic gestures” that obligate a woman to date a man; or where Black people are depicted as uneducated and violent, of course that is going to color their opinions of the world.

and there are a lot of really good conversations being had about issues like that, and we absolutely need to have those conversations about responsible media creation and consumption. this power can be used for good as well as for evil. many people cite shows like Will & Grace as helping turn the tide of public opinion against seeing “homosexuality” as deviant and instead seeing gay people as “normal” and “lovable” and “relatable.” superman was a beloved enough All-American Hero that a storyline where he fights the KKK is credited with helping turn the KKK from a mainstream fraternity into something seen as a fringe hate group.

so i would agree that a giant wave of media with positive depictions of pedophilia would be concerning. 

however, we do not currently live in a world where “here’s an adult in love with a child, how sweet” is a major issue in media narratives such that people are absorbing the attitude that pedophilia is fine, cool, and good.

in fact, pedophilia is such a hated subject that we have a whole political movement in my country based on people calling anyone they dislike a “pedophile” and accusing them of all sorts of depraved shit involving children. most people who have sexual inclinations toward children are fully aware that these desires are at odds with society and that they will become pariahs if these desires were known to others.

(In fact, this level of ostracization can put people at a higher risk of offending, because they feel hopeless, have nowhere to turn for support, and figure if they’re going to be a pariah anyway, they may as well do the one thing they can think of that feels good. Forcing conversations about this to go completely underground means that you end up with awful groups like nambla dominating the conversation and convincing lost, lonely, frightened people to hop on board with their dangerous attitudes. if the only people safe to talk to about this stuff are people who will excuse, justify, encourage, and promote offenses against children, it makes sense that people would end up in their grip. You can read more here and here.)

much of the “media” that these “antis” are up in arms about is fan created content intended for a small population. the people creating content that riles up antis generally recognize that this is not mainstream content and use things like tags and content warnings to set it aside from other content. the notion that certain tropes in fanworks are going to bring about a massive cultural shift is a bizarre slippery-slope argument, and i think people's energy would be better focused on problems that are actually currently existing rather than a potential future where a few tags on ao3 have become dominant themes in network television and blockbuster movies. 

another issue here is that when an “anti” uses the term “pedophilia,” it’s completely unclear what they are actually referring to. a reasonable person would assume that they mean “a sexual relationship between an adult and a child,” but the definitions of “adult,” “child,” and “sexual relationship” have gotten so blurry within this discourse that it’s impossible to determine what’s being discussed. i’ve seen people claim that any relationship is inherently “pedophilic” if the characters have any sort of age gap, if there is any sort of power imbalance, if they both belong to the same “found family,” or even if one looks younger in appearance.

so when someone says “fictional narratives that depict pedophilia in a positive light,” they may actually be referring to “fictional narratives that depict any relationship I don’t like,” which is such a vague and meaningless statement that it becomes completely useless.

finally, your actual question is whether I personally see a difference between stories where the narrative perspective seems to critique the relationship vs stories where the narrative perspective romanticizes the relationship. i think your question is...hard to answer, because there is just too much there.

first off, it’s not always easy to tell whether a story is “vilifying” vs “glamorizing” something. people watch movies like fight club and take away very different thematic messages about whether the protagonist is someone to admire and emulate. if we say that depictions of abuse are only “good” or “allowed” if the narrative clearly portrays the abuse as “fucked up,” then we’re going to have to establish a High Court of AP English Teachers to determine exactly what narrative devices are employed and how, and that’s just...not...workable.

also, some people like the “fucked up”-ness of these stories; if you’re trying to say that something is bad if people “enjoy it” or “get off” on it or “indulge” in the darkness of the content, then it doesn’t matter if the story itself is wagging its finger at the naughty, naughty reader. the taboo, the erotic, and the deviant are, and have always been, wrapped up in each other. you can depict something as “bad” and yet still “fun;” it becomes a useless distinction when talking about sexual content. 

do i personally see a difference, when it comes to my own enjoyment? yeah, absolutely. i stopped watching game of thrones not because it included rape, but because the way the cinematography, musical score, etc. made it clear that the show was expecting me to feel a certain way about those images, and i didn’t appreciate that. i also didn’t appreciate the directorial decision to give more dignity to a dog’s death by cutting to black than to violence against women. i would probably not enjoy a book or movie that’s just about how awesome and fun it is to hurt people; though i did like clockwork orange - i found the narrator abhorrent, but interesting.

but i think trying to split hairs about what does and doesn’t count as Problematic or Allowable Content, or trying to tell people that what they create and/or consume is Bad and they are Bad for doing it, because its inclusion of dark themes is Doing It Wrong - it’s not helpful. it’s impossible to develop a standard for what is “doing it wrong vs doing it right” that makes any sense, and even if you did, enforcing it through campaigns of hatred and social vilification is not going to be effective. 

[queenbirbs]

distracted art appreciation | Ethan Ramsey x MC

Summary: It takes him fifty-six days in the jungle to get over her. Or, well, so he thought.

WC: 3k+

Warnings: N*FW

She’s been staring at the same painting for the past fourteen minutes.

Though, she uses the term ‘painting’ loosely -- whatever she’s looking at is made of twisted straw wrappers and crumbled pages of an IKEA manual. The placard next to the work features phrases like ‘a work of action’ and ‘an introspection into rampant consumerism.’ To her (admittedly untrained) eye, it looks like someone dumped a trashcan over a canvas and spray-painted it with viscera and glitter. Taking another sip of her wine, she glances down at her phone to see that only another minute has passed.

“Two more hours,” Sloane mutters to herself, hopelessly wishing again for time to speed up.

It’s not that she isn’t happy for Kyra, who started out with painting tutorials on YouTube and worked up to a modest following in Boston’s art community, which led her here to her first gallery show. She was excited for the first hour, sticking close to her friend as Kyra chatted with fellow artists about mediums and superatism and juxtaposition and a hundred other terms Sloane didn’t understand. But as conversations flowed, Kyra’s nerves settled down, and she waved Sloane off to go get some air and peruse the other artwork.

Which is how she came to standing in front of The Shopper’s Sediment, waiting for the event to end so she can help Kyra haul her paintings back down the block to her car.

The pleas for company that Sloane sent to the group chat have gone unanswered; they’re probably all still out at the new fantasy-themed bar that she skipped on to be a good friend who keeps her promises.

She’s so concentrated on the ugly artwork that she doesn’t realize there’s a person standing beside her. In fact, she only realizes they’re even there when she lifts her wine glass and ends up whacking them in the side with her elbow.

“Oh, my god! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there, I--” she swallows back the rest of her panicked apology.

Ethan smirks down at her. His hand is clasped around her offending elbow.

“It’s all right. I won’t be pressing charges.”

“Thanks,” she says around the dumb grin on her face.

She admires the cut of the jacket he’s wearing; it’s some sort of tweed fabric with patches on the elbows, as if he’s just stepped down from behind a podium at Boston U. For a long moment, they stare at each other, and then down at his hand, still wrapped around her arm. He yanks his hand back as if he’s been burned; the dumb grin falls from her face.

“Um,” she hides the wince that wants to form, “why are… sorry, what are you doing here?”

“I missed out on a few First Fridays while I was away,” he explains. “Besides, Les Mis is running through the fourteenth, and I’ve seen enough of it for a lifetime. I thought I’d peruse the galleries tonight instead.” Taking a drink from the glass in his other hand, he glances about the room. “And you?”

Sloane tips her head in Kyra’s direction, explaining her role as both a social crutch and moving help. An awkward silence follows her words; she switches her glass from one hand to the other, mentally cursing at herself for fidgeting.

She’s a grown-ass woman! There’s no need for her to fold like a goddamn lawn chair around the man next to her. They’re both adults. They can interact in a public place without acting like idiots.

“Well,” Ethan starts, and then pauses to clear his throat. “You heard all about what I was doing down in Colombia, but I’m… curious. What did you do for the two months I was gone? Besides breaking up bar fights for Reggie.”

“Worked,” she answers with a smile. “And worried, of course.”

He quirks an eyebrow up at her response. “About you,” she clarifies.

“You didn’t need to.”

“I know. But I did anyway.” A smile flickers across his face at her admission. “I kept a close eye on the weather conditions down there. You were there during one of the wettest seasons on record. And now I find out that you were wearing a leather jacket the entire time for protection? Something about that just doesn’t add up. And you know what I think? I think you bought it in Bogota before your return flight, so you could come back with some new… down-to-earth vibe.”

That small smile of his grows; the sight of it makes something flutter in her throat.

“You’re not considering the bigger picture,” he says.

“Which is?”

“How I look in it.”

“Are you fishing for compliments?”

“Only when they’re yours.”  

Sloane makes a show of taking a drink, if only to hide the blush that’s likely (most definitely) coloring her cheeks. She’s bedded the man twice, yet he can turn her into a mess with a minute of flirting. If hope is the thing with feathers, as Dickinson wrote, it’s flown well beyond her reach now.

“In the interest of continuing our, for a lack of a better term, in vino veritas,” he says, “I… worried about you, too.”

The admission causes her to perk up.

“What for?”

“I chose a poor time to leave. Everything was in an upheaval, with Naveen and Harper and I moving positions, and you having won your trial, and then you were awarded the position on the team, and…” he trails off, brow furrowing as he attempts to corral his rambling. “Naveen told me about Doctor Olsen, about how he tried to sabotage your standing.” At his side, his hand clenches into a fist. “And if you let that slide by, what else were you holding back from me?”

“I’ve dealt with bigger snakes than him. You don’t need to worry about--”

“But I did,” he cuts her off. “The entire time I was gone. All fifty-six days.” His eyes drop from hers, going instead to his glass and feigning interest in it. “Some reset, hmm?”

She should walk away; bid her goodbyes and return to Kyra’s side, let him walk out the door and move onto the next gallery. Let him have his reset. But, then again, she’s never been able to leave well enough alone.  

So, instead, she tucks her arm up into his. Her offending elbow nudges his side.

“Come on. I’m tired of staring at this.”

Ethan gives the piece a look over his shoulder as they continue into the space. “It is a rather… visually-challenging take on mixed media.”

“See? I’ve circled this place four times and don’t understand what I’m supposed to be looking at. You’re just the man I need.”

“Then, by all means, lead on.”  

+

By the near-end of their excursion through the gallery, Sloane learns more art terms than she did in the one art history class she mistakenly took in undergrad. The one that she barely passed, though she doesn’t mention that particular detail when Ethan asks.

Art is something she appreciates as one would appreciate good food -- she doesn’t have to know every ingredient in it to enjoy the taste. Ethan, as he is inclined to do, argues against her logic, claiming that knowledge behind every brush stroke (and, thus, every pinch of minced garlic, if we’re using food as a comparison, he added with a sigh) makes the artwork that much more meaningful (and, thus, tastier).  

“It’s a moving piece that calls back to the Impressionist period,” he tells her, as if the third time’s the charm, and suddenly she’ll be awestruck by the boring landscape before them.

“It looks like something that would be bolted above the bed at a Best Western.”

He barks out a laugh at her comment, quickly smothering it when it draws attention from the other art patrons. They move away from the Monet copycat and down a long hallway, where a selection of lackluster acrylic paintings hang in a row. Sloane can feel her eyes glaze over as she examines them.

It’s no wonder that there’s no one near this end of the gallery. The conversations that reach them are muffled, just the droning buzz of voices. Not even the contemporary jazz music is piped down this far, leaving only the creaking floorboards and their own footsteps to accompany them. They reach the end of the hall, where a little table holds a handful of empty plates and glasses, abandoned by those that came before them.

Above the table is a painting of a woman. Draped around her shoulders is a red robe, patterned with messy strokes of amber-colored flowers. Her short, dark curls are pinned back, showing off the strong line of her jaw and the soft contour of her lips. Her right hand is raised, her fingers curled towards herself, as if beckoning to someone out of frame. Her eyes are closed, her head tilted up as she waits for her kiss.    

“She’s hot,” Sloane blurts out.

Ethan raises an eyebrow at her blunt summary of the artwork, though he concedes with a nod. “She is rather lovely.”

“It’s kind of weird, though,” she steps closer and scans the woman’s face. “She reminds me of a woman I went on a date with.”

“Oh. When?”

“Two weeks ago.”

“Oh,” he repeats, but his tone is different this time.

Sloane looks him over, unable to suppress her grin. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” he says, then grimaces. “Maybe. Yes. Of course I am.”

“You shouldn’t be. Her name is Reese -- she’s a pediatric surgeon over at Children’s. Very attractive, great work ethic, good kisser, cute dog.”

“I fail to see how you reciting all of her best qualities is preventing me from feeling jeal--”

“Simple,” she interrupts. “No spark.”

“Not one?”

Sloane tips her head from side to side, pursing her lips as she considers. “Okay, maybe a little one. Not enough for a fire, though.”

The quiet of the hallway hovers between them as they gaze up at the painting. The placard hanging next to it lists the artist and the artwork’s title: la voglia.

“Is that Italian?”  

“It means ‘the wanting.’” He tips back his glass and swallows the last of his wine. Liquid courage, and all that. “What about… us?”

“Hmm?” The question pulls her from her study of the painting.  

“What was our ‘spark’ level?”

“Oh, we were a bonfire.”

“I see,” he says, his eyes blazing as he watches her. Sloane bites down on her bottom lip. His gaze flickers down to watch the movement; the flame that’s been simmering in her stomach all evening ignites under the attention.    

“Did you want to kiss me?” she asks. “The other night at Donahue’s?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to kiss me now?”

“Yes.”

“I wish you would.”

The loud clink of his glass meeting the table is lost under the sound of his footsteps crossing the few feet between them. His hands come up to frame her face and his lips crash against hers. Her glass smacks against the table from where she hastily drops it; wine sloshes and drips down onto the floor. Sloane ignores the mess in favor of grabbing any part of him she can reach and pulling him close. Ethan breaks the kiss to surface for air, moving his hands to her waist; she adjusts her grip to his tie and yanks him down for another kiss, tilting her head to deepen it. Pleasure hums through her as she teases his lips to open for her, sweeping her tongue against his own.

Her back hits the wall; funny, because she doesn’t recall moving at all. The rough brick catches at her blouse and hair as she tilts her head up and arches her back, offering more of herself for him to explore.    

“Sloane,” he hisses, trailing Syrah-soaked kisses along her throat and up behind her ear. He nips at the soft skin there, the marks hidden behind the curtain of her hair that he wraps around his hand and tugs. The moan tumbles out of her before she can swallow it down. “I can’t decide what I missed more,” he says with a smirk. “Your touch, or those sweet noises you make for me.”

“Can I tell you what I missed most?”

He pulls back to look down at her, blue eyes alight with arousal. “I’m all ears.”

Flashing a smug grin, she shifts to put her leg between both of his and brings it up as high as her skirt will allow. She rubs her knee against his thigh, and then higher, smirking when he growls out her name.

“That,” she tells him.

Ethan shakes his head at her as he grabs the offending leg and wraps it around his hip. She retaliates by hauling him closer and rolling her hips up to tease him.

“Sloane--”

“Yes?”

“We can’t… not here. Someone could come down the hallway any moment.”

“I know,” she purrs, running her nails through his beard, pleased at his sharp inhale. “We should go somewhere more private.”

“We… my apartment, it’s not too--”

“I’m not sitting through that forty-minute taxi ride you call a commute. I can’t wait.” She brings her hand down and presses it against the swell of his visible arousal. He emits a helpless groan at her touch. “And neither can you.”

“What do you have in mind, then?”

Her only response is another grin that he meets with a look of worried confusion. She decides that she likes the look, especially when she gets to watch the understanding dawn on his face as she guides him to the open door of a nearby stockroom.

Sloane kicks the door closed and locks it behind them, smacking Ethan’s hand away from the lightswitch. Warm light from the street lamps outside pours down out of a high window, diffused with the multicolored strobes of the nightclub across the alley. Shelves of cleaning supplies crowd in next to a pile of stanchions and a stack of easels. The bass from next door thrums along the brick walls, rattling the glassware that’s tucked away in the cabinets. The countertop underneath them glows red from the club lights.      

Ethan picks her up easily and sets her on the counter. The laminate is cool under her heated skin, causing a shiver to course through her. His hand curves around her throat, his thumb brushing along her bottom lip. His breath turns ragged when Sloane turns her head in his hold and takes his thumb into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the digit before releasing him with a wet pop.

“Fuck,” he curses. “Let me see more of you.”

She reaches down and untucks her blouse while he attacks the pearl buttons, popping them open and pushing the cloth from her shoulders, chuckling at her threat of injury should he ruin her shirt. The cool air of the stockroom is soon replaced by his warm breath as he drags kisses down her chest; unhurried and uncaring of her complaints as he takes his sweet time.

“Ethan--” the rest of her complaint is lost to time as his mouth closes over the lacey fabric of her bra. His tongue traces the peak of her nipple, over one breast and then the other. She drags her nails through his hair and grips the strands tight, begging him to never stop kissing her.

In true fashion, he does stop and flashes her a self-satisfied smirk before dropping to his knees. Hauling her closer, he shoves her skirt up, the fabric bunching around her waist. She waits with bated breath, trembling slightly with anticipation, so sure that he won’t bother to tease her now, not when she’s--

“You bastard,” she croaks out when he starts further south than she wants.

That smarmy chuckle of his is somehow deeper than the nightclub’s bass; he ignores her insult and continues tracing wet kisses along the curve of her leg. His beard scratches at her knee as he makes his way up, higher and higher, until he’s so close that the puff of his breath is nearly enough to set her off.  

“You’re one to talk,” he says, tilting his chin to let his beard scrape at the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. “If I’d known you weren’t wearing anything under this skirt, we would have been here hours ago.”

She opens her mouth to serve him something snarky right back, but he chooses then to press the flat of his tongue against her and lick a long stripe up her sex. The noise that escapes her isn’t anything close to the English language. With one hand holding her leg up to keep them spread, he uses his other to slide two fingers into her wet heat. The pace he sets is punishing; Sloane barely manages to reach up and grab at the cabinet handles behind her head, holding on for dear life. The warm heat in her belly flows outward into her limbs, burning through her veins; her hips make aborted little thrusts into his mouth as his tongue works her open.

“Oh, god, oh -- god, Ethan!” she cries out. Then his thumb finds her clit and she’s a goner. Her legs snap closed, holding him there as she rides out the wave of her orgasm. Escaping from her hold, he gets to his feet and steps between her splayed legs. He cups her chin and coaxes her up to meet him for a kiss.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs.

Sloane works at his belt buckle, the leather creaking under her grip as she yanks it from the loops and throws it to the ground.

“I don’t think you needed to--”

“Shut up,” she orders, covering her mouth with his. For once, he listens, kissing the fuck out of her while she pops the button on his pants and dips her hand inside his underwear. His breath catches and his head drops to her bare shoulder, his hips thrusting up into her touch. Heady pants sound against her ear, spurring her on.

The hand not splayed against the cabinet above her head disappears between her legs and palms her sex, rubbing circles against her there. “Yes,” she whispers, her voice hoarse, “god, touch me.”

“Do I…” he starts, then stops, choking back a groan as her wrist gives a little twist. “Do we need…?”

Through the thick fog of oxytocin clouding her brain, Sloane catches on to his fumbling attempts. To give him the chance to form a coherent thought, she lets go of his cock, busying her hands by skimming them up his body and underneath the button-down he still wears.  

“I presume you got every test in the book before being let back into the country,” she says. “And my IUD is still in working order. And, besides that, I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

He shifts to look down into her eyes. By the primal glaze covering his own, it’s obvious to her that the notion pleases him.

“Not even with the surgeon with the great work ethic and the cute dog?”

Stretching up, she captures his lips with her own -- mostly to shut him up again, having found the technique rather effective.

“Like I told you: no spark. Now, if you can get over your jealous streak and--”

“I’m not jealous,” he protests while still grabbing her knees and tugging her that much closer.

“You so totally are,” she laughs as she wraps her legs around his hips. Her knuckles scrape against the cabinet when he forces her hands up beside her head; she links her fingers through his, holding him there.

“Not anymore.” A wolfish grin spreads across his face before he drives into her.

Any chance of continuing their banter is lost to the heat between them. His hips crash down into hers; her legs quake around his. Their chests heave with every breath, their kisses little more than frenzied brushes as the flare of pleasure grows and grows, burning white-hot under their skin.

Ethan drops one hand to where they’re joined and passes once, then twice over her sensitive bundle of nerves. Her body arches as the delicious, surprising heat of her orgasm courses through her. Unable to withstand the rhythmic clenching of her, he follows, muffling his shout by burying his face against her throat.  

“How was that?” he asks once the ability of speech returns. Despite the sweaty mess of each other they’ve made, he nuzzles close, sighing when she wraps her arms around him.

“A house fire.”

Though it defies all laws of medicine and the universe, she can somehow hear the frown of consideration he wears.

“I was thinking forest.”

“Okay,” she concedes. “That works too.”

From somewhere in the dark room comes a buzzing sound. Before she can seriously consider whether or not her orgasm did knock her hearing out-of-whack, Ethan scoops her phone up from the floor.

A stack of missed texts from Kyra fills up her screen:

6:28 pm: come back there’s a hot girl I want you to see

6:28 pm: she’s a sculptor and welds and has tattoos please i’m weak

6:43 pm: where did you gooo

7:02 pm: if you left because of the creepo photographer let me know and I’ll kick his ass

7:04 pm: creepo says he never saw you which i DO NOT believe considering how hot you look tonight

7:39 pm: Lmao nvm

7:39 pm: you are the least subtle person i know but no worries i’ve got your back

7:40 pm: I trust that doctor ramsey can take care of your front ;)

8:24 pm: Devon the hot welder you missed out on meeting is going to help me w paintings and then take me out for a drink. make good choices!! text if you need anything love you  

“What are those little pictographs next to her name?”

Sloane glances down at the tiny flexing bicep and pink heart next to Kyra’s name and rolls her eyes.

“This grumpy, outdated persona of yours can only go on for so long, you know. You did grow up during the birth of AOL and AIM. You’re not a Luddite.” She hops down from the counter and taps out a reply to her friend before buttoning up her blouse. “Besides, you know it’s rude to look at people’s messages, right?”

A red flush returns to his cheeks, though he tries to hide it by crossing the room to switch on the light and searching for his belt.

“Well, I had to make sure it wasn’t the pediatric surgeon, offering to take you out again.”

Sloane lets out a snort, her attention on her reflection in the mirror propped up against the back wall. “We both know by now that there’s only one persistent, albeit indecisive and general pain-in-the-ass doctor that has my attention.”

Ethan, having finished putting himself together, approaches her from behind. His hands slip in underneath her hair to fix her collar. She catches his eye in their reflection; he drops a kiss against her temple.

“Come home with me.”

“That would go against all of those parameters you set up,” she reminds him.

“I know. So did this.” If his tone is a little lost, a little unsure, she doesn’t mention it. “Come home with me,” he repeats.

“Okay.”

+

Author’s notes and what-have-yous:  

Hello, and welcome back to the sin bin.

Please no art lectures. Everything in this was either prior knowledge, googled to the best of my ability, or from recalling friends who were art majors in college bitch about said major. The painting of the woman they discuss is based off of Albert von Keller’s Anticipation. (Sloane’s right; she’s hot.)

Also, if anyone can tell me if I used the correct ‘desire’ in Italian, please let me know. I couldn’t find anything that said I should use la brama instead of la voglia, so I used the latter. (special thank you to @uncagedwings for the vocab assist!)

[panharmonium]

round 3 of in-progress naruto thoughts, featuring me crying tears about pretty much everybody

[spoiler policy disclaimer first, as always: i’m only still in the early stages of shippuden (we just finished the asuma arc).  i literally had zero interest in naruto growing up, so i remain unspoiled for virtually everything that happens past this point.  i would love to stay that way, so please don’t interact with this (tags included, because the notifications now show them to me automatically) with any spoilery commentary, including even general things like “oh i love this show but it gets less good after X point” or “X season is better than Y season” or any general assessments of quality/likability/etc re: future seasons.  Thank you! <3 ]

- well, folks.  i have apparently reached the point in my viewing experience where i am deeply emotionally attached to virtually all of the characters and i care when bad stuff happens to even the most minor of them, because the asuma arc really ripped my heart out and used my feelings as ping-pong balls

- that said - i have to admit, if you’re going to kill a character, that was the way to handle it.  it wasn’t glossed over or dropped like a hot potato; it had a huge arc attached to it and major development for the other characters involved and it came full circle at the end in such a quiet, complete way.  i was hoping from the very beginning that the answer to “who’s the king” was going to be “children” (all i could think about was asuma yelling at kazuma “children aren’t pawns to protect the king!” during the sora arc) and ultimately that ended up being true, and i found that so satisfying.  (painful.  but satisfying.)

- SHIKAMARU.  HERO.  i always loved him, but what an incredible arc he had.  and that episode, “team 10″ - WOW.  wow.  they really kicked it up a notch for that one - that was legitimately beautiful television, not just “good by naruto standards.”  gorgeous animation/composition/editing...this show is in fact capable of magic, when it takes its time.

- grow up, you three.  the shadow of death hangs over us all.  some deaths may be harder to accept than others, but if you can’t get past that, there can be no future!  

^^ this is legitimately my favorite line of the series.  i can’t stop thinking about it.  i love how tsunade is speaking from her own experience, and how she’s not wrong - nobody in this confrontation is wrong, really; shikamaru has his stuff more together than tsunade realizes, and tsunade is just telling the truth, and i just love how this entire line relates so closely to the thematic heart of this arc, which is the sanctity of children and the future they represent.  like...so many characters in this show have seen so much death and tragedy, but we see children/the promise of the future pulling people out of that hole and back into a hopeful place.  it’s literally tsunade’s whole story with naruto.  she’s speaking from the heart, and it’s one of those lines that you can feel resonate across the whole story.

- kakashi, once again, coming to destroy me with his level of devotion to the kids.  not even his own kids, this time.  when he shows up at the end of “team 10″ and offers to take over for asuma and go with shikamaru’s group - i lost my mind.  he’s been keeping an eye on those kids the whole time.  nobody told him about what they were doing; he has no reason to be out at the gates at that time of night - he’s been keeping tabs on them.  he knows exactly what they’re going through.  he knows how they must feel.  he wants to make sure they’re okay.  and when he sees that they’re in an appropriate frame of mind for what they’re planning (aka, not unbalanced by rage or grief or the desire for revenge), he immediately offers himself up as an adult support figure.  he inserts himself into that situation and assumes responsibility for making sure nobody gets hurt.  he puts himself into a position where he can escort them through this experience safely (in more ways than one).  he lets shikamaru take the lead and achieve closure, all while simultaneously monitoring the situation to make sure every choice the group makes is the safest, smartest thing to do.  and then in the battle, he puts himself in between the kids and certain death over and over again - he saves their lives so many times. 

the kids are so grateful to him for doing that.  they respect him so much for it.  they feel supported.  they feel looked after.  they feel validated.  three kids who just lost their adult mentor in such a sudden, violent way - for them to have another grown-up step in and temporarily assume that role, for them to feel a pair of capable, steady hands propping them up before they fall down - that is so important!

kakashi is beautiful to me because he takes every horrible thing that ever happened to him and turns it into an unwavering commitment to help other people navigate the same rocky waters.  everything he does is designed to catch people when they fall, particularly when it comes to children.  he doesn’t have to take that kind of interest in asuma’s team.  none of the other adults are monitoring them like that.  but he understands what they’re dealing with and he knows they could hurt themselves if somebody doesn’t take care of them and so he steps in and assumes that responsibility himself.  and then he does the same thing with team 8′s kids, too, in the next arc, when kurenai is out of commission.  he takes all of his own painful experiences and turns them into ways he can protect other people from stumbling into the same pits he fell into, and i’ll tell you this for damn sure - he’d rather take a deadly hit himself than allow another cohort of children to be wiped off the face of the earth before their time. 

i love that about him.  i love that he turns all of the trouble he’s seen into ways he can be a source of strength for others.  i love that he is always thinking about the kids.  that’s the whole point of this arc: children are king.  kakashi knows that just as well as asuma did, and the way he consistently throws himself in front of the children to keep them safe is my favorite thing about him.

- fucking LOVE that shikamaru turns down the feudal lord’s offer because he wants to stay in the village in case his friends need him.  i feel like this kind of choice is never portrayed as a good thing in media - it’s always shown to be better to get yourself out there, try something new, leave old things behind, take a risk, make a change, as if staying home is somehow the same thing as settling or wasting your potential.  i love how asuma lifts up shikamaru’s decision to stay rooted in his home as a worthy and admirable thing.  the will of fire, indeed.

- the EMOTIONS i felt every time kakashi was helping naruto figure out how to complete the rasengan....when kakashi tells him “i truly believe you are the only shinobi who can surpass the fourth hokage” and then while walking away yamato’s all “you sweet-talked him” and kakashi immediately sets him straight like “no.  no.  i believe he can do it.”  SOBBING.  

- “good old asuma.  he must’ve known you inside and out, huh?”  i’ll be over here crying in the club, folks

- kakashi having conversations with sasuke in his head was Too Much for me ;__;

- we watched a bit past the asuma arc and are now into the part about the gemstone lady but the only thing i have to say about this new arc so far is about jiraiya and honestly i’m going to have to gif it to do it justice.  that scene with him and naruto where naruto falls asleep on him just...struck me down where i sat.  i was actually about ready to cry for real.  my feelings couldn’t take it.  i used to not really care too much about jiraiya in the shonen jump days (and yes, there’s some stupid stuff with him that you have to just look past if you’re going to enjoy things) but i love him so much now and i am finding myself so moved by the way he is rejoining the village and (re)building his connections with the people there, and how much meaning has been brought back into his life by the opportunity to work with naruto in particular, and how like...i mean, this is just my own impression, because i haven’t seen his full backstory yet, but he strikes me as someone who’s been running away for a long time, who had very little hope for the future, someone who experienced some terrible things and gave up, just like tsunade, until he runs into naruto.  and now things have changed for him, and it warms my heart to see it.  i love watching him take naruto on training field trips, and i love the depth of care we see from him towards naruto now - a far cry from the “i don’t like kids” of early shonen jump.  i love seeing him collaborate with kakashi - tag-teaming their teaching and climbing in through the window to check on him in the hospital and teasing him about how silly he looks with a sheet over his nose.  i’ve just become so touched by his progression and by the way the establishment of these relationships with “his” kids and the village as a whole (bonds, connections, all the things that this show can’t shut up about) has almost been a...healing sort of thing for him and has changed his entire outlook on life and given him a new sense of hope/meaning.  

like.  i can’t believe i am out here having jiraiya emotions after how little i cared about him when i first met him, but...here i am.  

[justfinishedreading]

I started October thinking ‘man, I have so many manga to review I’m going to be posting stuff every other day!’. Didn’t happen.

A Bride’s Story, Volume 1, by Kaoru Mori

This manga is set in nineteenth-century central Asia, along the Silk Road, it’s the story of a twenty-year-old woman sent from her nomadic tribe to marry a twelve-year-old boy in a settled clan. They arrange the marriage in order to maintain family bonds between the two households.

This was never going to be an easy read but let me start with the positive; visually A Bride’s Story is utterly beautiful, Kaoru Mori draws with a level of detail I have never before encountered in manga. Written literature is often placed above graphic novels with the excuse that there’s more artistry and depth when a world is bring created solely through vast amounts of words rather than images, and yet here is a case where literature could never compete. The written word could never compete with Mori’s exquisite illustrations of nomadic dress, patterned carpets and wood carvings. In A Bride’s Story we get a full visual experience of a culture and way of life that is now rare.

Story-wise this manga falls neatly into the ‘show, don’t tell’ approach of storytelling: lesser mangas would have the characters openly and plainly discussing themes, telling the audience exactly what they should think and what they should take away from the book, but A Bride’s Story presents this time and culture in a neutral way, with both negatives and positives alongside each other, leaving the reader free to assess their own feelings.

Spoilers ahead

Amir, the female protagonist, is warmly welcomed into her new husband’s family. When we think of a young woman having to marry a child in our minds the situation is horrific, to not be able to choose your own husband and on top of that to be forever tied, socially and legally, to a child is the sort of thing made for tragedy. Luckily for Amir her new husband, twelve-year-old Karluk, is good-natured and is full of admiration for his wife. Amir came from a nomadic tribe, she can shoot rabbits with a bow and arrow whilst ridding a galloping horse, she knows how to travel the lands, rear sheep and skin animals. Karluk sees her like a hunter, almost like a warrior, and he sees her like a mother in the way she frets and worries about his health and looks after him.

Amir is lucky because her new family openly accepts her and they view her differences with curiosity and wonder. They are a large family who have created a safe, happy home and together they work to keep it in peace. So the fears that the reader might imagine about an arranged marriage with such an age gap are not necessarily the ones that appear. The antagonists are actually Amir’s own clan, who realize that there’s a potentially more advantageous match to be made and intend to remove her from her current situation and marry her off to someone else.

Another nice surprise is that although this is a patriarchal society in which men make the life-changing decisions, we do a great character in the matriarchal grandmother of Karluk’s family, who displays a strength and resolve that even the men from Amir’s clan revere.

Onto the negatives: there’s a scene in which Amir is telling Karluk to strip naked because out in the desert, in a yurt, it is common practice to sleep nude because it gets very cold and it is warmer to sleep skin to skin. Karluk is clearly uncomfortable with this. Amir’s naked breasts are exposed and sexily drawn. In the next panels we see that sleeping naked together makes Karluk think of lambs sleeping snuggled to their mothers and for him there is nothing sexual in this experience. While the scene is implying that their relationship is more of mother and child, it is still a shock to see Amir’s naked adult body, and it makes us wonder what will happen when Karluk becomes physically more sexually mature but not necessarily mentally mature.

Japan has a deep-rooted obsession with sexualizing youth, it is something that comes up often in manga, anime, literature and media, and I’m always weary of when it might be sneaking its ugly head in more subtle ways. For example a couple of months ago I watched Beastars, which is a anime about anthropomorphic animal-humanoids (e.g. like Zootopia) and while I enjoyed the anime, there was something disturbing about the central couple; a wolf and a bunny rabbit. Compared to the large size of the humanoid wolf the small humanoid bunny looked child-like. The size thing and species thing is done to create sexual tension between the large scary wolf and the cute sweet little bunny, but there was something about the bunny’s small yet sexually developed form, in a school girl uniform, next to an adult-looking man, which just rang alarm bells. Interestingly I think the manga handles this better as the bunny’s body isn’t drawn in such a sexualized and realistic way as in the anime. In the anime there are moments where there is definitely a subtle catering to paedophilic appetites, especially as issues of uncontrollable desire and danger and predator and prey are brought up.

Back to A Bride’s Story, I don’t feel that this is a book that encourages or excuses paedophilia, it is presenting us, in a neutral way, with things that would have happened at the time. When Karluk presents his wife to some distant family members they are shocked, not with the fact that Karluk at age twelve is already married but because a twenty-year-old bride is considered an old bride. The custom is to marry women off young so they have longer to produce children. At the back of the book in the Author’s Notes Mori writes that women would normally be married at the age of 15 or 16, and beside this comment the author has drawn a picture of a young bride, with the following remark “Hey you! Yeah, you, big guy, looking at her like that! Let’s step out into the hallway and have a talk!” So while there’s no direct comment about paedophilia or the sexualization of youth, this one comment does hint that the author is aware of the issue in society, past and present.

One of the things that I am looking forward to in the series is that it will not centre just on Amir and Karluk’s relationship, it seems that other volumes will introduces other bride’s stories, including women who are lesbians or bisexuals and women who perhaps do not identify with a female gender. There is a secondary character in volume 1 called Smith, an Englishman who is studying the culture and customs of Central Asia and I believe that as he travels to different countries this may be how new storylines are introduced to us.

One difficulty I had in reviewing this manga was that I kept wanting to say it is about people from a specific country, however nowhere in the book does it say in which country the action takes place. In a way this is a western problem, it is an understatement to say that many, many a problem has arisen from the West’s desire for defined borders in countries where, at the time, it was not common to have them, places where tribes moved about depending on the seasons and trade. So after some brief research I believe this book explores the cultures of Mongol Nomads, of countries such as Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan that make up Central Asia, and with the potential of exploring influences from neighbouring countries such as China, Russia, Iran and Afghanistan. In the Author’s Notes she also mentions being interested in the Caucasus region of Central Asia, so that may also be countries like Armenia, Azerbaijan and Georgia, and the Caucasus Mountains which create a natural border between Eastern Europe and Western Asia.

One thing is for sure: since A Bride’s Story follows the path of the Silk Road, the crossroads from which Europe and Asia traded, it promises to be a wonderful melting pot of traditions and ideas.

Review by Book Hamster