MY MUSE IN A RELATIONSHIP | ↪ @fairestjuliet: 🎶🏷️♦️ (avian)
🎶Do they have a type?
kinda? it's hard to really say. anyone who Avian is romantically interested in normally have a foundation of friendship with her prior to her developing a crush/feelings for them. those Avian keep close to her, she may have had an aspect of sharp wit or sarcasm that matches Avian's. Avian only goes for people with good hearts & intentions, because those morals are fundamental to her and she refuses to be with someone that doesn't match that. for Avian, i think it's a lot of personality-based type than looks.
if we do have to talk about looks, Avian has only seem to show interested in brunettes & redheads in particular. she prefers a partner taller than her (which is easy since she's only like ... 5'2" lmao), and bonus points if her partner has a latin heritage like she does, as she likes someone she can share a similar culture with. she enjoys more rebellious individuals, more outgoing ones. but again, it varies depending on the situation.
🏷️ Do they give their partners cute nicknames?
somewhat; Avian has a habit of making cutesy version of her partner's names, shortening them to some degree if it's possible. (i.e. Gia -> Gigi, Lilith -> Lili for a couple of people that come to mind); but she doesn't normally do pet names.
if anything, Avian is often the recipient of nicknames herself. with the name like 'Avian', she has gotten "Birdy" before, or Avi, normally.
♦️ Are they concerned with the social status of their partner?
absolutely not, and i think that's influenced by who she has around her now. when her father was still alive, James' perspective on others often warped Avian's perspective on them. and because James did not want his children to affiliate with anyone that could lower their children's status, Avian, being the golden child, often took her father's word as law. if her dad said not to affiliate with someone, Avian is going to do it.
now that Avian has to make her own decision, the only factor she considers is another person's kindness & intentions before all else. she doesn't care what background they come from, she only cares about who they are and what they stand for.
Yeah, so while I was on my "I'm going to read into Vanny/Vanessa as much as possible" journey, I noticed an odd quirk in her animations in how she moves. At first, I thought it reminded me of a ballerina, 'cause she's kinda tip-toeing, & she has this way of keeping her head & chest in one place as she moves, but I looked again & realized --
That's not ballet! She's doing a tight-rope act. Like, look at this one:
This is like standing up on the wooden boards before you do the actual tight-rope walking, & the ring leader is hyping you up as you do some fun movement for the crowds. &, then, these:
These are all instances where she walks with one foot directly in front of the other. In that third, she's doing the "woaaah" wiggly-ass balance movements & everything, as if she's swaying up at the top of the tent, even though she's down on solid ground.
Idk, I feel like the way her feet are placed isn't accurate (pretty sure they should be pointed left & right, not both forwards...) doesn't make this 100% correct, but I like it. It also connects back with her first SB teaser, wherein she's up in the rafters.
Talking as players outside the game is an incredibly important part of having good PC/PC D&D relationships, and obviously the characters involved in the relationship talking to each other in meaningful ways is crucial, but I think the importance of talking in-game in depth to other people is really underrated, in that it not only tells the other player what your character is feeling without having to reveal it in-game to them, but also serves to engage other characters in the story and deepen those platonic bonds to the point where they might even serve as confidants or wingmen. To give a bunch of examples and what they achieved:
Vax telling Gilmore he didn't want to string him along made it clear out of game that his feelings towards Keyleth were his priority, even though it happened where the other characters were not able to hear.
Similarly, Vex giving her blessing eventually after her initial resistance signaled to Liam that this would not be a major break between the twins.
Vax asking Vex what she intended to do about her feelings for Percy served not only as an opportunity for her to voice them to someone; it also serves as a big green light for Taliesin as Percy to kiss Vex later that episode (which he had already from Vex's resurrection ritual, but it underscores it).
Pike talking about Scanlan with Keyleth and Vex allows her to make it clear that she does ultimately like a lot of things about him despite sometimes being annoyed, and her talking to him through her earring while Scanlan is very much not there but Sam is at the table also serves as this kind of green light.
Jester asking Veth about kissing in relationship to Fjord lets Travis know where Jester is at and invests Veth in-game in the relationship.
Caleb asking Jester if she's "sweet on [Fjord]" lets her openly reassess her feelings after an intense arc and also indicates in-game that Caleb has noticed.
Beau waiting to hear the sound of thunder signals to Ashley (who was not at the table but who was presumably staying updated on events) that Beau has feelings for Yasha; it also allows those playing Yasha (often Matt for pure RP and Travis in combat) to return that flirting, since the baseline was already established.
Possibly the most obvious example, but Beau and Fjord's conversation on Rumblecusp not only clarifies to the whole table where everyone is (opening the door, for example, for the scenes in the beer garden a few episodes later of Caleb having Fjord and Jester dance together and Caduceus encouraging Yasha to pursue Beau) but very much serves as a green light to Ashley and Laura respectively. This is then mirrored by them talking after Beau has asked Yasha on a date and Fjord and Jester have kissed, and everyone involved can "debrief" with their partners not present in-game.
As mentioned, this is mostly about PC/PC relationships because PC/NPC is an inherently different dynamic mechanically though still should be a conversation, but Veth describing Yeza and Jester asking Caleb about his feelings about Essek both give Matt clues for playing these NPCs and how things might be received.
FRIDA mentioning their crush on FCG to Deanna means it's not a complete surprise to Sam, since it is a very sudden relationship, and lets him prepare and decide how FCG would feel in the moment, and also establishes how Deanna will feel about it.
Similarly in the C3 Uthodurn arc, Fearne going to Chetney about Deanna is an incredibly good move from Ashley (to the point that talking about this is what led me to write this whole post). It lets Travis play out where Chetney is. It lets Aabria therefore hear not only where Chetney is, but also know that Fearne is potentially interested. It establishes a ton of the dynamics for a relationship that out of game everyone knows will not have a full campaign to play out since one of the characters involved is a guest. And finally, it signals to Christian as FRIDA what the situation is in case Deanna confides in them.
Without getting too much into it, the most heartbreaking line in the manuscript to me is “She knew what the agony had been for” because all the time she didn’t even realize what had happened to her. She’d clearly denied it, dismissed it, insisted that no it wasn’t like that, she was an adult! She was capable of making her own choices! Maybe she didn’t want to taint happy memories. He was just a shitty boyfriend and they broke down and broke up like all couples do. She knew what it looked like but no no, she was fine in that regard. He never… no she wasn’t a victim like that. And yet…. She couldn’t move past it, couldn’t lay it to rest. Wondering why she agonized over it, felt sick over it, went over it again and again, haunted by it unlike other breakups. It took all those years and making the short film and seeing 20 year old Sadie Sink in that room with adults and fighting with an adult man to realize oh…. She’s a child. They were right. That is what happened to me. I was a child. And the deluge of pain that comes with finally confronting that. The song drops off after that, the pain unspeakable, and skips to the present, where after exorcising that demon finally, “all that’s left is the manuscript.” And she can finally close the book on that story in her life and not have it define her anymore. But that line really just hits home how long she had been carrying the burden of that unspoken and unresolved truth, buried under denial, slowly festering and poisoning her for some 10 years. God damn.
"why does great care so much about tyme's grandma" he doesn't he brings her up when tyme says that he has nothing to lose because "what about your grandma" is easier to say and less loaded than "what about me"
something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
hi! i've been reading some of your older fics and was wondering if there's any merit in watching buffy for the first time in the year 2024
This may not be obvious, but this is actually an extremely complicated and highly subjective question. I'll try to go on for too long.
As background: my mother loved Buffy and its spin-off Angel growing up. It was our Bible (besides the actual Bible). Not kidding, she was on the forums and fan groups and wrote fanfiction for it and everything (These days, she's really into kdramas and Asian dramas, and calls me about how the Thai seem like big fans of gay people). So I'm quite biased.
BTVS is both a product of its times and ahead of its times. It was a show about feminism and the struggle of living in this world as a woman, when very few shows were doing that. It was the first show to have a long-lasting lesbian couple, and the first show to depict a kiss between them. For better or for worse, it was one of the codifiers of broody vampire boyfriend. It was pretty unafraid to be experimental in a lot of what it did. It had incredibly complex and nuanced character work and growth that I still aspire to. Spike's arc is still matched in quality only by Avatar's Zuko. Angel's long term arc, from Buffy to his spin-off series, still makes him one of the most complex characters on TV. It had the most complex depiction of depression on TV at the time and I still think it's one of the best. I think the show had very high highs.
It also had very low lows. Some of the feminism is problematic in retrospect. The sapphic couple has a rather famous element that was severely problematic. There are, overall, some deeply atrocious arcs that I can appreciate objectively but not in practice. Xander: a whole-ass character aged awfully. On a meta level, the workplace conditions were bad (thanks, Whedon.) There are no people of color. The spoiler's sake I won't go into detail on this, but in general the good stuff was so influential and the bad stuff was just awful.
I think these days people tend to brush off the entire thing because it's Whedon. That is more than fair. But I'd also say that Whedon & Buffy is extremely similar to Brian Michael Bendis & Ultimate Spider-Man. Bendis was fantastic at writing sassy, bouncy, permanently stressed-out teens - issue was, he wrote entirely different serious adult characters the way he wrote these sassy teens. Same with Whedon: the annoyingly constant quips are perfect for Buffy, because that's who the characters are. They're awful in Marvel, because Steve Rogers is not Xander. Kinda similarly, Buffy was genuinely feminist for 90s TV - issue is, Whedon has not grown or developed his views, and now his works feel so sexist (oh my fucking god why did you treat Natasha like that). After a certain point it's egotistical: you're writing like that because you're Joss Whedon and it's how you write, not because it's what's best for the characters and story. But it was really important to me to get the character voices right, and it's freaking difficult to endlessly write dialogue that distinct, full of voice, witty, and clever.
I think BTVS & Angel TV's greatest influence on my writing is how intensely character-driven both of those shows were, and how intricate the characters were. What every character did was something they would do, if that made sense. Even the stuff I hated to watch, that made me uncomfortable, was the culmination of so much (usually). I think I also picked up the constant wit and humor lol. On a personal level, the conversations I would have with my mother where she broke down the character motivations and composition of the story was my first exposure to looking at storytelling from an analytical perspective and a framework of critical analysis, which was an approach I carried into the rest of the media I consumed and that was the primary reason I was able to become a decent writer. Thanks, Mom. Have fun with your kdramas.
TL:DR: There is merit, especially if you care about good character work. There are things about it that may make you want to drop it, which is extremely valid. Season 1 is rough but interesting, Season 2 and 5 are the best, Season 3 is pretty good, Season 4 and 7 skippable, and Season 6 is........epic highs, epic lows......
Rangi: Kyoshi, what's this about the Fire Lord telling me that you are, and I quote: "The failure of diplomacy." and "The breakdown of negotiations."
Rangi: No no, don't you dare speak. You finish that fucking snickers. Once we're done with that, we're signing you up for some classes.
Rangi: "There is no escalation of hostilities beyond Kyoshi." The hell there is??? Did you forget I exist???
Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
say hi to me
i don't know, i just remembered being so much
brighter, i guess
cigarette ash like wildfire
burning holes in the nighttime
open scars feel like barbed wire
white lies flying high like a ceasefire
dropping flags on the shoreline
this is as far as i can feel right
'cause what you don't know can haunt you
and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty
highlights to want to repeat
let's get away from here and
live like the movies do
i won't mind when it's over
at least i didn't think for a while
don't drag it out
living like that doesn't mean a thing
so let's, make a great escape
and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway
it doesn't matter who we are
we'll keep running through the dark
and all we'll ever need is another day
we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away
and live like shooting stars
'cause happy endings hardest to fake
and i wanna let you know
i wanna let you go
but i just can't bring myself to speak
but this is how it goes
the end credits, they roll
this bridge was built over kerosene
but we can watch it
and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty
highlights to want to repeat
let's get away from here and
live like the movies do
i won't mind when it's over
at least i didn't think
so let's run, make a great escape
and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway
it doesn't matter who we are
we'll keep running through the dark
and all we'll ever need is another day
we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away
and live like shooting stars
you can wish away forever
but you'll never find a thing like today
I have a lot of opinions on fanon Tim. I am a fanon!Tim Drake anti. I’ve never been an anti of anything before, but I am very anti fanon!Tim Drake. He’s basically just a Mary Sue, but it’s worse because Tim Drake is a real canon character who is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING. What the fuck did y’all do to him. Why can’t you just project your childhood trauma on a self insert like the rest of the internet. Look at him! You could replace him with a single packing peanut, and I couldn’t even tell the difference!
Okay I’m thriving on all the Marie/Jordan posting, it is absolutely deserved, they’re amazing together, but I wish there was a little more love for Emma/Sam too because “I don’t remember you, but I do believe you” fucking broke me.
Imagine you’ve spent years questioning reality, surrounded by people who constantly remind you that you can’t believe your own eyes. You finally meet someone outside of that group and you’re convinced she’s a hallucination, except she passes your test, and she’s sweet, and she laughs at your jokes even though you have a really off-beat sense of humor, and she matches it, and you love her like you’ve never loved anyone. And she promises to stay with you after everyone else you’ve ever loved has abandoned you, whether intentionally or not. And then you start to freak out and you know your scaring her, because she’s seen you rip people apart with your bare hands, but she’s not running. She’s not even trying to make you calm down or be rational or stop. Instead she asks “How can I help you?” She wants to help you. And you run. And she saves you. She stops you from doing something you’ll regret. She’s the first one who’s done that without violating your mind.
And then she loses all her memories of you. She looks at you without an ounce of recognition, and you think you’ve lost her, even if you swear to get her her memories back. And you’re alone again, and you’re hallucinating. You’re hallucinating her. You can’t trust reality. You can’t trust yourself. You can’t believe what you see or hear or touch. Then she comes back again, but this time she’s real and you ask if she remembers you and she says no. “I don’t remember you, but I do believe you.”
We were seated by the fire, as just now described, and Miss Havisham still had Estella’s arm drawn through her own, and still clutched Estella’s hand in hers, when Estella gradually began to detach herself. She had shown a proud impatience more than once before, and had rather endured that fierce affection than accepted or returned it.
“What!” said Miss Havisham, flashing her eyes upon her, “are you tired of me?”
“Only a little tired of myself,” replied Estella, disengaging her arm, and moving to the great chimney-piece, where she stood looking down at the fire.
“Speak the truth, you ingrate!” cried Miss Havisham, passionately striking her stick upon the floor; “you are tired of me.”
Estella looked at her with perfect composure, and again looked down at the fire. Her graceful figure and her beautiful face expressed a self-possessed indifference to the wild heat of the other, that was almost cruel.
“You stock and stone!” exclaimed Miss Havisham. “You cold, cold heart!”
“What?” said Estella, preserving her attitude of indifference as she leaned against the great chimney-piece and only moving her eyes; “do you reproach me for being cold? You?”
“Are you not?” was the fierce retort.
“You should know,” said Estella. “I am what you have made me. Take all the praise, take all the blame; take all the success, take all the failure; in short, take me.”
“O, look at her, look at her!” cried Miss Havisham, bitterly; “Look at her, so hard and thankless, on the hearth where she was reared! Where I took her into this wretched breast when it was first bleeding from its stabs, and where I have lavished years of tenderness upon her!”
“At least I was no party to the compact,” said Estella, “for if I could walk and speak, when it was made, it was as much as I could do. But what would you have? You have been very good to me, and I owe everything to you. What would you have?”
“Love,” replied the other.
“You have it.”
“I have not,” said Miss Havisham.
“Mother by adoption,” retorted Estella, never departing from the easy grace of her attitude, never raising her voice as the other did, never yielding either to anger or tenderness, “Mother by adoption, I have said that I owe everything to you. All I possess is freely yours. All that you have given me, is at your command to have again. Beyond that, I have nothing. And if you ask me to give you what you never gave me, my gratitude and duty cannot do impossibilities.”
“Did I never give her love!” cried Miss Havisham, turning wildly to me. “Did I never give her a burning love, inseparable from jealousy at all times, and from sharp pain, while she speaks thus to me! Let her call me mad, let her call me mad!”
“Why should I call you mad,” returned Estella, “I, of all people? Does any one live, who knows what set purposes you have, half as well as I do? Does any one live, who knows what a steady memory you have, half as well as I do? I who have sat on this same hearth on the little stool that is even now beside you there, learning your lessons and looking up into your face, when your face was strange and frightened me!”
“Soon forgotten!” moaned Miss Havisham. “Times soon forgotten!”
“No, not forgotten,” retorted Estella. “Not forgotten, but treasured up in my memory. When have you found me false to your teaching? When have you found me unmindful of your lessons? When have you found me giving admission here,” she touched her bosom with her hand, “to anything that you excluded? Be just to me.”
“So proud, so proud!” moaned Miss Havisham, pushing away her grey hair with both her hands.
“Who taught me to be proud?” returned Estella. “Who praised me when I learnt my lesson?”
“So hard, so hard!” moaned Miss Havisham, with her former action.
“Who taught me to be hard?” returned Estella. “Who praised me when I learnt my lesson?”
“But to be proud and hard to me!” Miss Havisham quite shrieked, as she stretched out her arms. “Estella, Estella, Estella, to be proud and hard to me!”
Estella looked at her for a moment with a kind of calm wonder, but was not otherwise disturbed; when the moment was past, she looked down at the fire again.
“I cannot think,” said Estella, raising her eyes after a silence “why you should be so unreasonable when I come to see you after a separation. I have never forgotten your wrongs and their causes. I have never been unfaithful to you or your schooling. I have never shown any weakness that I can charge myself with.”
“Would it be weakness to return my love?” exclaimed Miss Havisham. “But yes, yes, she would call it so!”
“I begin to think,” said Estella, in a musing way, after another moment of calm wonder, “that I almost understand how this comes about. If you had brought up your adopted daughter wholly in the dark confinement of these rooms, and had never let her know that there was such a thing as the daylight by which she had never once seen your face—if you had done that, and then, for a purpose had wanted her to understand the daylight and know all about it, you would have been disappointed and angry?”
Miss Havisham, with her head in her hands, sat making a low moaning, and swaying herself on her chair, but gave no answer.
“Or,” said Estella, ”—which is a nearer case—if you had taught her, from the dawn of her intelligence, with your utmost energy and might, that there was such a thing as daylight, but that it was made to be her enemy and destroyer, and she must always turn against it, for it had blighted you and would else blight her;—if you had done this, and then, for a purpose, had wanted her to take naturally to the daylight and she could not do it, you would have been disappointed and angry?”
Miss Havisham sat listening (or it seemed so, for I could not see her face), but still made no answer.
“So,” said Estella, “I must be taken as I have been made. The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me.”