#and also just thinking about how like...and this is a separate post

[salemlunaa]

SELF CONCEPT IS KEY — WHO ARE YOU BEING TODAY?

feel like you’re stuck in a loop?

Pete Sapper said “When you know who you are, your mirror will reflect it, when you don’t know who you are, it will also reflect”

You don’t need to anything for your manifestations to materialise, as they already have, creation is finished, but self concept is something that really helps you wrap your mind around it.

When I say that you are God, do you really and truly know that? And I ask for knowing and not believing because beliefs change all the time. Do you KNOW you are God, or do you just get this rush of excitement and adrenaline after reading some motivational posts just to fall back into old patterns a few hours later?

What colour hair do you have? Let’s say you have black hair and maybe you dyed it blonde, would you constantly go back on the fact that you have black hair, i mean if it was a dye job you got done yesterday, you might forget for a moment, but you’ll be like “oh that’s right, i have blonde hair” and go on about your day, because 1. You KNOW that’s it’s true and 2. You KNOW that you are the person who has blonde hair. That one time you forgot doesn’t negate from the fact that you have blonde hair.

A lot of you “persist and persist”, and wonder why your outer world hasn’t changed, let me tell you something i’m not gonna bullshit you and tell you that these are old thoughts playing out because they aren’t, it’s just not true, there is no separation between your outer and inner, A mirror doesn’t have a mind of its own, it can’t “test” you or show you something that you are NOT, because think of a literal mirror (that’s what this outer world is), when we say that, it isn’t some cute metaphor, it’s the truth. The reason things haven’t changed is because YOU haven’t. Again, think of a mirror, instant reflections are the ONLY TYPE OF REFLECTIONS!! be the person who assumes otherwise? you will stay waiting, looking for posts to motivate you instead of living the life you want.

You can do as many things to manifest your dream body, but if you’re still being the person who is a loser with a shitty figure, guess what?… Have you heard the phrase “You cannot trick God”, since we have now come to terms with the fact that we are God, the term can now be written as “you cannot trick yourself”, you also can’t run from who you are. God, you, your consciousness can tell the difference between believing, and KNOWING. If you KNOW and accept your unfavourable life as true, no amount of wishful thinking and hopeful attempts at techniques will change what you know. So what is there to do? change SELF.

ꨄꨄꨄ

Become God, step into that state of being now, you ARE pure consciousness now, there is nothing to do, nothing to induce. You ARE the void now. You are limitless, you have always succeeded in anything you do, so why not know? Your outer world reflects instantly because you are God and what you say goes. There is no one above you, now if you knew that why are you getting triggered with all the limiting beliefs, why would anyone tell YOU, as God, how to create.

When someone says “your manifestation will ONLY take 3 Days if you do this magnificent method that-”.

Instead of mindlessly following another method like a junkie. You say “wtf i’m literally GOD not you, 3 days?? pfft my shit is instant because i’m just so fucking unlimited and ethereal”

You are God, the only free thinker in your reality. Not even im freely thinking from your perspective, im just a projection. So what if someone tells you that you have to do this and that to get what you want? everyone else is a lowly human, YOU are God. Absolute Intelligence. With words that instantly create. Once you get that through your skull you will never have a day in your life where you are experiencing unfavourable circumstances.

Who cares if Nancy’s dream bod took 3 months?

Who cares if Wyatt took 2 weeks to shift to his dream life?

Who cares if Jessica looped affirmations all day to get her grades?

YOU ARE GOD HERE. Not them. Time is not real and Creation is finished, WHO CARES ABOUT THEM?? YOU. HAVE. EVERYTHING.

I am not religious by any means but i believe a lot of religious books were guides to understand self, that got, as we can see, heavily misconstrued. And there’s this verse:

Joshua 24:15 “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord”

Do you know what that actually means: It means who cares what everyone else’s limiting beliefs are, who cares what everyone else “had” to do, or what everyone else believes. As for you and your mind, You will serve God, That is You.

You are one perception away from everything materialising. This isn’t the Law of Desire, if so everyone would have everything they could ever want, by simply.. wanting it. It’s the law of Being, BE GOD, and put YOURSELF on the pedestal, then you will wake up in this illusion, you will start to see that there are no big and small manifestations. You will start to see that your consciousness created all of this and none of it is real, and nothing will be hard or easy for you anymore, it will just be. You will start to understand that time doesn’t exist, and all this other noise matters not anymore, for you are sovereign. You will start to understand that you are one decision away.

Idc if you have to repeat it, or to visualise yourself as this godly being, idc what you do, even so much as a one-and-done decision as long as you understand who you are.

I get all these asks and dms too (before i turned them off) with problems that would not be problems if you guys understood who you actually are. Some of the things you guys complain about WOULDNT EVEN EXIST if you just stepped into that knowing that you are God.

And I know time doesn’t exist, but for those of you who still resonate with the 3D and human concepts (even tho that’s like, soooo dumb 🙄), you will spend a lot more “time” without what you want if you don’t start BEING the person who has it all.

Focus on that self concept, be the most egotistical, self-obsessed, head-up-your-own-ass typa bitch. For you are God and any lesser treatment of self would be nonsensical.

When you know you are, the world will reflect your power

©salemlunaa

[unnounblr]

...Like, this might be. Problematic of me, as an opinion.

But, like, Leed is firmly a secondary character, so she doesn't have a lot of characterization. But I actually think Leed being Laios's queen, in a post-series thing. Whether an official continuation or a fanfic. Could be interesting?

There's maybe. So, in one of Ryoko Kui's extras, there's a comic about where Laios puts Kensuke, after the end of the series. And in that, it's briefly shown that Laios gets information on the Elves from Kabru, and information on the Orcs from Leed. Meaning, she's his main point of contact, and he's not meeting with Chief Zon directly.

That doesn't mean that much, but it could fit with her being his consort. It wouldn't contradict.

Mostly I just think it's funnier if she spends the whole time dreading the wedding, and maybe her brother (who, sent her to maybe see a dragon) freaks her out more by talking about how Laios said he likes orc tits and fat orc asses, and on the wedding night Laios doesn't even try to sleep with her, maybe she even has her own separate bedroom. Which isn't uncommon for royal families, they might have sex to procreate, but sometimes things are passionless and they sleep (literal sleeping) separately.

The things we know about Leed are that she's got military leadership skills, she's very emotionally intelligent, when she was able to help Chilchuck realize he actually cares about his friends, and needs to tell them how he feels, and she knows Orc medicines and herbal remedies, like the one she gives Laios and Marcille that cures their mana sickness.

So I think her being part of the kingdom's government, and her being able to apply those skills. Wouldn't be the worst thing? And could also be very funny, comedic. Like, her organizing a fancy ball or dance, but it's organized the way an orc captain would organize a raid.

And she's mostly been separate from the party and the story, so she doesn't know. Any of these people. All that well. Except maybe Senshi, who definitely isn't living in the castle full-time. And then she would suddenly have to deal with them, with Laios, Marcille, Yaad, and Kabru, and Falin, when she comes back from her traveling, and Thistle if he ever wakes up and doesn't die in his coma, and their different cultural backgrounds combined with the way that they're all outcasts of their respective cultures and alienated and. Weird. In some way.

And she thinks she's selling her body to some gross creep, but he actually, genuinely, could not possibly be less interested in her, sexually.

Her cultural expectations make her think she'd be just one of many wives, that there would be a harem, but that's not actually the norm for Tallmen, and Laios doesn't particularly care that much about having any wives at all. If the marriage with Leed happens at all, it's because the orcs insist, strongly, and because they were the earliest allies Laios had when rescuing Falin.

The hinted at strife and prejudice between Orcs and Elves would make her tense with Kabru and Marcille, but both of them are also trying to keep the Elves from having too much influence. Kabru because he wants Tallmen (and Orcs, and the country in general) from being a vassal state subservient to the Elf Queen. Marcille because she really doesn't want to go to elf jail for her Black Magic crimes.

In short. Like, because of her age, I don't necessarily want Leed to be Laios's queen in a shipping or sexual sense, I don't really want them to have sex, maybe ever, but. I think her ending up as the Queen, has some genuinely good storytelling potential, from the perspectives of Comedy and Political Intrigue. Her as the fourth member of Laios's court, along with Marcille as court mage, and Kabru and Yaad as his main advisors.

Leed is a Minor!!

“I suppose she would be around her third year in middle school.”

This comment from Daydream Hour is the only info we have for her age/maturity, or orcs' age of maturity in general.

The whole "Bride of Laois" thing doesn't automatically mean that she is mature, it means that orc culture mirrors plenty of real-world cultures that also let women marry at 14/15.

She must be protected at all costs!

[prettyflyshyguy]

Hey hey hey it's me again I'm here to talk about my favourite fucked up guy

OK. I'm sick, maybe slightly delirious because of it, but in honor of EP7 dropping tomorrow (and hopefully his backstory with it) I need to get my theory crafting out into the wild now so we can all check in tomorrow and see what changes/what I double down on.

During my viewing of E2 I made the comment: "Was he augmented without his consent?" and I'm willing to put money down that I'm right.

Before I dive into my extensive E1-6 Gurathin thoughts, theories and observational commentary, a quick housekeeping: This is 95% based off my personal observations of the show (just the released episodes, no outside source media), with the remaining 5% me looking at a small amount of other peoples meta thoughts and commentary - I haven't read the books yet and I plan to once S1 is wrapped up!

If you have thoughts and opinions on my thoughts and opinions, please feel free to chuck a comment on this post but PLEASE do not spoil the books or reference book Gurathin on this post - I'm enjoying the show being 100% an unknown to me and how it's unfolding, so I'm trying to just experience it that way so every new piece of information is an exciting revelation for me!!! I promise I'll read the books haha. This entire post is 100% show only Gurathin content, no book allowed.

Let's dive in. This'll be a long post, so all the meat is under the cut. I fucking love this guy so, so, so much. And I have a lot I wanna say about him.

INTRODUCTION:

When we first see him he's deeply uncomfortable in the dealership room and really doesn't want the team to get a secunit. All the body language and the way he looks at mensah screams that he thinks its a bad idea. He's asked to join the group communion and doesn't at first, but the gang pull him in which immediately shows they're used to his self isolating behaviour but they accept its a quirk and will nudge him when necessary. In a number of other scenes he's with the group but maintaining a distance when they're huddled, little things imply he's involved and definitely socially a part of the group but he also is at times more separate (dancing scene E1 he's clearly involved and a part of it and enjoying himself) vs E4 when they're trying to contact deltfall (everyone is huddled and touching each other and he's distinctly pacing behind them).

E1 also has a fun moment where Ratthi is painting the base and Gura comments "does this wash off?" which knowing he never grew up on preservation alliance, I thought that was a nice touch. I'm in this picture and I don't like it sorta character. Not so much a rules stickler but maybe a worry-er, someone who's conscious or concerned about things that others aren't as fussed by.

The hopper secret meeting scene - he's clearly cared for, the team talk to him and say his feelings are valid but they're not necessarily hearing him, and he's frustrated by it. He operates slightly differently to them and this clearly isolates him from certain group discussions. From day 1 he's uncomfortable about having a secunit on board, at all, and the second something weird happens he's immediately on the full scale defensive - whereas everyone else is more immediately forgiving, less concerned. The way he references how much he cares about his friends to MB during the Eye Contact scene emphasises how important their lives and their safety are to him.

Now he's obviously got some trauma, possibly relating to the company or a mix of things.

After the initial sandworm attack someone (I think it was Mensah from memory) comment's that "(he) has good reason not to trust the company."

After Bharadwaj has physically recovered from the sandworm attack, he accidentally scares her when he approaches her and apologises, saying "it's an old habit, being quiet." It's a quick line that I think carries a lot more weight than it initially seems to have.

He mentions having joined preservation alliance 6 years ago but we don't know where he was at prior. He's clearly not all about how presaux operate but he still feels at home with them and they deeply respect and love him in their own way, despite differences in perspective. He's valued with them. Despite this I firmly believe he deeply feels a sense of disconnection - with the crew, especially in how they treat MB as more of a person at first (pre reveal) and with himself. Bear with me, I'll explain as I go.

He's insistent on the depersonalisation of their secunit - reminding the team that it's not a person, it's not a man or a human, it's an it in the sense that it's a tool, an object, and serves a function the same way any other piece of technology they use does. And it runs the risk of not working properly. Machines aren't supposed to think or feel, they're supposed to execute a task. It being controlled by the company leaves them with a lack of agency over this thing that's highly dangerous, that's supposed to protect them. He seems incredibly, personally, fearfull - directly telling Mensah at one point about how secunits "don't go through things!" and then commenting on what, in his mind, it is that they do. Kill things. Maim things. The language use here is broad - their job is to kill things. Their job is to maim things. Perhaps he's simply referring to things like aggressive fauna. Maybe he's referring to something else.

We know he doesn't know much about how secunits specifically work (he tells us this directly in E2), but we also as an audience don't know how much he knows about constructs, and AI in general (in this fictional setting). He didn't know secunit's have faces. The whole team object to the idea of a machine that seemingly could have some form of 'autonomy' being shackled by something like the governor module - they talk about this in the early eps, but it feels like they don't quite understand the entire picture at the same time - and neither does Gurathin. None of them quite realise what a construct is, how it operates, and the gravity of is existence and circumstance. When MB reveals its face, this starts to sink in with them. Gura's no exception here.

Let's move onto his RELATIONSHIPS.

MENSAH:

He obviously deeply cares about the crew (eye contact ep - I firmly believe when he threatened MB he didn't just mean Mensah when he said "I care about my friends" - he goes and holds Bharadwaj's hand when she wakes up- the one thing Medbay couldn't do was human connection)

It's strongly established that he really meant it with his whole chest when he said "I trust you" referring to the presaux team. But it's also clear in his behaviour that he cares about Mensah more.

Let's talk about the elephant in the room first - the pillow scene.

Not to defend him sneaking into her room - but I've seen a few takes on this scene that just paint him with a brush as being A Creep(tm) with no further consideration, and I don't think this is fair to his character. The act of him sneaking in, and then comforting himself with her pillow (MB is an unreliable narrator. I don't know if he was sniffing it, or just embracing it, and frankly the details don't matter - it cuts right as he starts to appear to cry) - the act of doing whatever it was, was creepy, and innapropriate boundary crossing. Absolutely. However - everyone of the humans in the presaux team have some kind of issue or problem with their behavior.

None of these people is without significant character fault.

So while his behaviour in this one scene was weird, I feel it speaks volumes about something unrequitted between him and Mensah, and his inability to express this to her. He deeply desires connection, but can't bring himself to bring it up.

He attempts to apologise to her after he insists she doesn't take the secunit with her on a trip, he feels intense guilt over that decision and his insistency impacting her safety in E2. He's conflicted about it because he genuinely is concerned it's a danger to the crew, but he deeply cares for and respects her and her almost getting seriously hurt absolutely terriffied him. Her subsequent blowing off of him - "I just need a shower.", rejecting his attempt at comfort, closeness and connection when she physically closes the door (and metaphorically closes a door) in his face - she likely has no idea how much of a mental sledgehammer it is to him.

She has every right to want and to ask for space - but it's this critical miscommunication (or lack of communication) between them that is clearly a long running and on-going thing.

In E5 it's also very clear he's cut up when Mensah tells him Pin-Lee is the 2nd in charge if anything goes wrong - he accepts it because he respects her but you can tell he's hurt by it.

They've been long time friends, I'm going to guess their friendship pre-dates him joining Pres Alliance based on how he brings it up in E2, and maybe there's an imbalance of how each other views their relationship, in their own heads. Again: emphasis on miscommunication, something unrequited because it's left unspoken, maybe there's that classic fear of "I don't wanna fuck this all up by being honest" - they have a good thing going and maybe he doesn't wanna ruin it. He briefly looks at the photo of her family with fondness (going off memory here, correct me if I'm wrong)

Just to clarify: I think at times his behavior is:

-definitively creepy in action (pillow)

-occasionally miss-read as creepy, especially when viewed through MB's unreliable narration and personal bias (he's just weird and different sometimes, much like many normal people are)

-he's not a Creep, but the pillow scene was inappropriate/a bit creepy

Ironic for MB to call him a Creep when it can access full security feeds and chose to brain blast him with his coworkers going at it - a great shift in framing because to MB it doesn't care/views the voyeurism differently because its a construct and security is its job (not to mention its personal distaste/lack of interest in copulation as it were)

but that's really the joke of it all, ain't it!

Slight tangent aside, let's move onto his other pivotal relationship in the show.

MURDERBOT (AND HOW GURATHIN'S NOT ENTIRELY HUMAN HIMSELF):

Not-fully-human Human and partially-human NonHuman. Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.

So far, we don't know much about his augments and how he feels about them, or how anyone else feels about them. It all seems very matter of fact and straight forward. MB just describes the augments as 'fancy' in a sarcastic tone (I have more to say on MB's thoughts on augments however), so this could imply augmentation is a rarity or something reserved. He's immediately othered by MB's introductions of the crew as being the only augmented human.

It's all very pragmatic and function based. But it inevitably means he can do things no one else can, and the way he interacts with the world and tech is different to the other members of presaux. Having something robotic sticking out of your neck also immediately signposts yourself but that's an entire other can of worms (Shy what's with you and mechanical components in peoples necks huh?? HUH???)

In E1 he's abrasive towards MB after the face reveal and is frustrated, he's harsh and insistive - very rudely and firmly telling it that it can't leave the room yet for instance. However in E2 he has a different tone when he says "SecUnit can you please come and see me."

Yeah it's a real human thing to say, but it's a useless platitude to a robot that's only there to obey commands, right? This feels like the first subtle shift to me. It felt like a choice.

The Eye Contact scene - let's unpack it.

Gurathin "It's not a person its a tool" asks it politely to visit him, does a very uncomfortable (failed) dramatic chair spin, insists it sits on a chair, and then asks it a very personal question.

"I guess I don't know much about SecUnits.

What's it like, to be you?"

Rent free inside my head, chat.

Anyway - him asking for it to unmask itself - he knows what it looks like, he's got the video feed to look back at, but he wants to face it like a person would. Sitting also puts them both at eye level. It's a humanising thing. Suddenly, maybe, it's harder for Gura to separate it as a tool as much as he could before. Anthropomorphizing is something humans are already very good at. You put a real flesh and blood face on something? Oh No. Oh Boy.

The way he asks it "what's it like to be you?" felt really, really raw and genuine. It didn't feel like hate, or resentment, it felt like genuine curiosity and a desire for connection.

MB responds in kind - and it's such a beautifully short lived moment. But Gurathin is clearly conflicted in his position. He came in ready, and SWINGING, and now he has to reconcile with something he was thoroughly unprepared for.

He's testing the water when he insists on eye contact and is likely suspicious because MB doesn't seem to be acting how a secunit was likely pitched to him off-screen, and the way MB clearly is reluctant adds to this. With future episode context I think Gurathin clocked that there was something deeply wrong very early, but he was trying to genuinely suss out if it was a threat or not. He's not an idiot, he saw how it helped the crew, it's not done anything that's directly put the team in danger. But it's still wrong.

Later in the conversation he opens up about how differently Pres Alliance treat AI and constructs, compared to the corporation rim. He follows this up with "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

It's played off as a joke in relation to MB's inner monologue - but I genuinely think part of him was once again fishing for some kind of connection.

"Yeah I know. It's... weird to think about."

For Gurathin, he's not entirely human. His augments make him less human, they form a point of detachment.

Murderbot is not human, but it's behaviour seems slightly more human than what Gurathin expects of it.

Not to mention the myriad of small behavioural traits they share in common - but neither seem to have consciously recognised or clocked in each other yet.

My point being: the entire eye contact interrogation was as much Gurathin reaching for a connection as it was a warning and cautious appeal to reason and a hopeful connection point and it's all coming from a place of deep internal conflict. He's warmed up to it slightly now, part of him seeks something. If he was that concerned about it, he wouldn't have invited it into a room with him in private where he was vulnerable. He's of course unaware of how dangerous MB is, but if he really felt like he couldn't trust it to not kill him, he wouldn't have engaged with it all in that way I feel.

"If a secunit was malfunctioning in any way, it would be extremely dangerous for anyone involved--"

Gurathin looks intensely and deeply into it's face as he says "AND the secunit!"

This feels like a very direct personal appeal to a sense of self preservation. He's starting to pick up that this thing isn't just a normal robot. It doesn't just execute a task with no thought process. It does think and feel. And part of him is drawn to that fact.

All this is to say, I feel like this strongly signals to him being augmented against his will.

MB is a victim of circumstance in a lot of ways - it never asked to be created, it never asked to be sentient and it certainly never agreed to become an effective slave. I think Gurathin recognises this, initially, and is drawn to this fact because a part of him perhaps recognises it within himself (not consciouslly)

Now this all might be a huge projection - I'm writing a story and one of the characters, O'Byrne, is not-quite-human anymore after having something change her irreparably too and it's tech related.

But I really do feel like there's something to this. It'd make a lot of sense with Gurathin's deep comfortability with the company, his clear confliction around wanting to connect with MB but struggling to and being unsure of his feelings towards it.

I really loved episode 6 - so let's quickly talk about that before we wrap up.

MURDERBOT, UNMASKED:

I've avoided as many future episode clips as I can, but in one of the trailers I watched there's a line where Gurathin reveals to the crew that it calls itself Murderbot (self assigned name)

NOTABLY - he has not revealed this information to the crew in E6. Isn't that funny. Isn't that interesting.

He jacks into this thing, has a very intimate look inside it's head and memories, discloses a bunch of information to Bharadwaj but clearly doesn't disclose everything. During the E6 interrogation it's obvious Gurathin feels the most in control he's ever been - he's strutting around with full confidence, he's being purposefully antagonistic despite MB's attempts at showing it genuinely is on the teams side, and Gurathin believes its immobilised and that he has full power.

We all know that he had absolutely no power, at all, however.

MB at any point in time could have gotten out of that chair. It chose when to very carefully.

Given Gurathin believed he was in full control - why didn't he disclose more information about what he found in MB's head?

It would have certainly helped him argue his case. It certainly was a choice to not bring it up.

Again I think this comes down to his internal conflict. There are two wolves inside of you and one hates and distrusts the company and anything associated and one wants to believe the fucked up secunit might actually, genuinely, be something you can come to trust.

I think he's a deeply conflicted person seeking connection while feeling disconnected, and that he never had a choice in getting augments installed in him but he's dealing with it and has just accepted his lot in life - and being around people who love, respect and embrace him has helped with this, but he's still lacking something - and he's tip toeing around what that is in his attempts at reaching out to Mensah, and MB (and through these relationships he's perhaps seeking different things to help him feel more complete and less alone in a number of different ways.)

Anyway. I love him very dearly, Dastmalchian has done an absolutely killer performance in the role and I'm frothing at the mouth over what we're about to find out this coming ep drop.

Anyway - I hope this all makes sense. I've tried to proofread, but my brain is kind of fried from the seasonal flu right now (I'll be fine. Its just the middle of winter in australia and it's been really fucking cold where I live) - I hope I havent talked myself in circles. I'm really excited to come back to this when more information on his character has dropped in-episodes!

And if I'm wrong on my theory. Well. Guess I gotta just. Post something to Ao3 about it.

[murderbot-moodboard]

I have watched the Episode 7 three times, and naturally I have some thoughts:

- Okay, Gurathin officially has the coolest backstory I can imagine for his character. Being a former corporate spy has so many implications for who he is and what he's capable of. It explains why he's been suspicious this whole time (apparently from the moment they acquired a SecUnit) that Murderbot could be working with the Company to hurt the Preservation team. It also explains why he was suspicious of LeeBeeBee from the beginning and saw through all her attempts to get him and the others to reveal information.

- Interestingly, the rest of PresAux knows this about him, but Murderbot doesn't, which would seem to fit with the books, as I'm fairly certain Murderbot would've mentioned it somewhere if it knew Gurathin was a former corporate spy. (We could also discuss in-world reasons why Murderbot might not mention it, but I'll leave that for fanfic writers to explore.)

- Gurathin's relationship to Mensah also makes a lot more sense from his backstory. He was desperate, broken, and essentially enslaved, with no one to turn to, and she forgave him and helped him get asylum in Preservation Alliance, which had to be an involved and risky process. She was his only friend for a while, and knowing Mensah, she would've stuck with him and done whatever she could to support him through all the ups and downs (including withdrawal from his corporation's proprietary drugs).

It makes sense that Gurathin would see Mensah as a rare stabilizing force in his life. She's someone he's terrified of losing, to the point that he'd go on a survey with her in the Corporation Rim rather than let her out of sight into the dangers he narrowly escaped. Even if it means putting himself in a situation likely to trigger reminders of his past trauma and addiction and tempt him to relapse. He's fallen in love with Mensah, but his feelings are largely because of who she was to him at the lowest point in his life, and because he's become emotionally dependent on her during his addiction and trauma recovery and his integration into a foreign culture in adulthood. His going into Mensah's room to cry over her pillow, an action Murderbot misinterpreted and classified as creepy and depressing, seems to indicate rather that Gurathin doesn't think he can continue to function if he loses her.

- Okay, now that we've discussed the big reveal, I want to note that this episode made me fall even more in love with all of PreservationAux and Murderbot. After several episodes of the team being separated into groups, we get to see them all working together during an emergency. And PresAux works together really well as a team—as long as they're not being shot at by hostile SecUnits. PresAux and Murderbot... still not quite working as a team yet, but they're making an attempt.

Adding a readmore because this is quickly becoming a long post:

- I love how Bharadwaj and Gurathin basically hang out together and take care of each other for most of the episode. In past episodes, they've both seemed unwilling to admit to the rest of the team that they're struggling and need support. But with Gurathin being shot in the leg and Bharadwaj shaken by the betrayal and violent death of someone she'd cared about, I think they've both lost some of their ability to pretend they're fine. They also seem to find comfort and usefulness in looking out for each other, and possibly a distraction from their own problems that's helping them cope. Either way, the casual physical closeness is very sweet, and shows at least one way Gurathin has become more integrated with Preservation culture.

- Before I forget, I went back and replayed several times that moment in the habitat where PresAux steps back from Murderbot, and I noted two things: (1) Mensah only barely steps back, and she looks slightly cautious and evaluative rather than afraid while doing so, and (2) Gurathin, who is sitting on a box, does not step back, but just moves sideways into a more upright position no longer resting his weight on his arm, and could possibly be trying to get in front of Bharadwaj?

- In the crisis situation of this episode, Mensah really embodies her role as team leader, acting as a source of calm and decisiveness when her team needs her to be. I felt like she showed a new level of steady confidence, and I think it's partly because she's rising to the occasion for her team as a good leader does, but also because she now understands the kind of ally they have in Murderbot. Murderbot is an ally who would literally cut out pieces of its body to get them out of danger. She also gets to share the burden of command with a consultant who understands combat and the dangers facing them better than any of the team, and who has saved them several times so far. Her understanding of Murderbot as a person gives her new confidence in communicating with it and new insight in how to persuade it to work with the team, even if the insight isn't perfect.

- Let me just say, the scene with Murderbot being grown over with branches was haunting. It's true to the things Murderbot fantasizes about doing in the books, and it's also a great example of what depression can look like. There was discussion on Discord about how this is essentially suicidal ideation but Murderbot is unlikely to recognize that. It's also reflective of an aspect of depression that doesn't always get attention: the feeling of wanting to just never have to move again.

- I love that Pin-Lee got lots of time this episode to voice their opinions and suggest courses of action for the team. In my opinion, most of the characters felt like they had come closer to their book portrayal in this episode, and this was especially true of Pin-Lee. Their strategic thinking and assertiveness was evident throughout the episode. I also internally cheered when they said they wanted to sue the shit out of the whole Corporation Rim—that's our lawyer Pin-Lee!

- Arada nerding out over the worms was so funny and endearing, and definitely reminded me of other people I've known who are very passionate about their field of expertise. And it seems very in character for Arada to think LeeBeeBee was bluffing about killing them all.

- Ratthi was hilarious this episode, and came across as someone who tries to use charisma to charm his way through new or uncomfortable situations, in order to hide the fact that he doesn't know what he's doing and is making it up as he goes. It's worked enough times that it's become his main coping strategy, even when it's not a very effective one.

- Poor Bharadwaj was really not having a good time this episode. She's clearly still having a hard time with what happened to LeeBeeBee, and still angry with Murderbot for it. And then the worms show up! Her extremely repulsed facial expressions made it pretty clear she'd rather be anywhere but near those things.

- Something interesting I noticed this episode was the way Gurathin sometimes blinks while his eyes roll back in his head. I'd noticed it at least once before, in that scene where Murderbot doesn't strangle him (which I watched on loop a few times thanks to gifs by some lovely people), but I'd thought it was just a fear response or something. In this episode, though, especially a couple times during the flashback scene, Gurathin's eyes definitely did the same thing. So now I'm thinking it might have something to do with his augments. There was also discussion on Discord of whether the reason Gurathin's condition seemed to deteriorate quickly had anything to do with his augments. I have no idea, but it occurred to me to wonder if immunosuppression is necessary for augmentation (like it is sometimes currently for organ transplants), and if that would interfere with his body's ability to heal or fight infection.

Okay, I think I've covered all the things I wanted to cover that other people haven't already covered. This episode was chock full of good character moments, y'all!

[thebroccolination]

TEAM TAM TAKES A STAND [EPISODE 5 EDITION]

THE DEFENSE FOR MY CLIENT TAMTAWAN HAS ARRIVED.

I need to rewatch this episode eighteen more times to get my head more fully around it, but I wanted to talk about how I thought the main point of this episode was done very well. Namely, showing the audience that Tam has had reason to believe that Phi has been careless with his heart and his feelings in the past.

The very first thing we get as the episode starts is this flashback in which Tam reminds Phi of the promise they made before this visit: since Tam's mother is arriving on Saturday (which is presumably the next day) they're not going to do anything physical; they're only going to work. I got the impression from this that Tam's mother didn't know about their relationship, but either way, what matters is that Phi made Tam a promise.

This is immediately followed by a sequence of sexy flashbacks confirming that they did not, in fact, only do work.

And we also know from later on in the episode that Phi started it and broke his promise to Tam:

["key did you just make this post to post these screenshots?" NO I AM GOING TO MAKE A SEPARATE HORNY POST ON MAIN LIKE A RESPECTABLE CREATURE OF BASE INTEREST THANK YOU VERY MUCH]

Like, Tam does totally go along with it, so it's not like Phi forced him. That's not the point I'm making. It's just important to note that Tam asked Phi not to do anything three times:

1) Before they got to the house 2) Before they went into the house, and 3) Literally while Phi is making moves on him

I think Tam went to those lengths because he knew himself well enough to know that if Phi did start something, he wouldn't be able to tell him no. After all, look at that last frame! Phi asks him, "Can I do this a little?" while kissing Tam's neck. He is technically asking permission, and Tam doesn't tell him no, but this is after Tam has already asked him not to three times!!!

So it seems like the narrative is showing us a particular flaw in their previous relationship: that Tam often gave in and let Phi have whatever he wanted, and Phi was happy to take and take from him, probably without even noticing he was doing it.

Until…

HE TOOK IT TOO FAR, YOUR HONOR.

When Phi came back from grocery shopping, he left the door open:

I was sitting there with cat roommate senses like, "Close the door, close the door, close the door, close the fucking door!!!" wondering if it was a production mistake or if the characters just didn't care.

But then…

Tam notices mid-kiss that the door's still open and starts to panic that Sosay's gotten out.

Phi, less fond of the cat and more interested in making out, makes the point that Sosay was a stray and she can handle herself.

Let's break down the whole argument, shaaall we? :D

Phi says, "She'll come back. Let's keep going." Assuming the flashbacks are linear, they've already slept together (at least) once, so Phi's going for another round. Another round after the one Tam asked him not to pursue!

When Phi keeps pressing him, Tam snaps at him, and crucially, Phi looks confused.

Tam is basically like, "I am no longer thinking about sex, I am thinking about my missing cat."

To which Phi is all,

"She's a stray, she can take care of herself. Why are you so worried?" Or, translated: "But I want to have sex with my hot boyfriend."

And Tam is correctly like, "Cool, you don't care about my cat, but you also don't care about me since I am visibly distraught about my cat. Also, you keep trying to sleep with me when I told you that was off the table."

Critically, even though Phi broke his promise, it was only this time when Phi left the door open and Sosay got out that Tam actually stopped him. And I think the reason he loses his temper like this is because he was telling himself he should have stopped him before.

Like, this is definitely Turned On but I detect a bit of annoyance there, too.

Also, check out this subtle moment!

This is the same night they found Sosay! (Or Sosay found them.) Tam finishes working on whatever they came to work on, and Phi gives him a massage. Notably, Tam thinks Phi being sweet and accommodating is weird.

And, tellingly, Phi isn't actually doing it to be sweet and accommodating. Moments after making Tam beam so happily, Phi goes in to bite his ear and kiss his neck and bulldozes past Tam's reminder of the promise he made.

Tam thought Phi was giving him a massage to be kind.

Phi was actually doing it to get laid.

But again, what makes this a really good conflict is that one could assume that from Phi's perspective, Tam isn't making it super clear that this is a boundary he doesn't want crossed. You can almost see in Tam's face when he tells himself it doesn't matter. That what he asked Phi for wasn't that important, really.

But isn't it kind of heartbreaking to watch that moment of Phi cradling Tam's face in his hands and think maybe Tam believed this was a simple act of kindness. That Phi really did just want to give him a massage and tell him he did well.

That for all he does for Phi day in and day out, he got some affection that stayed within the night-long boundaries he asked Phi to respect?

Perhaps from Phi's perspective, he was just being affectionate. No one was actually home, after all. He probably didn't think Tam was going to be upset and hurt when he pushed him for sex. We can see he didn't take the promise super seriously even at the start of the episode where he salutes in the adorable way he does. It's a very, "Sure, sure, I promise. Wink~"

Like, if you haven't watched Singto's solo MV "Consent" from Tam's perspective, absolutely go give it a watch, because it's very clear that Tam has an extremely different perspective of their relationship. (Also, Singto has the sweet and mellow voice of an angel and he does not get enough love for it.)

Phi's greatest grievance in his song is how Tam left him.

But Tam has specific complaints from their actual relationship.

Obviously, the best thing to do when one has issues in one's relationship is to talk about the issues with one's partner, but if characters did everything right all the time, then we wouldn't get stories about ex-boyfriends who squabble and then have sex about it.

I think Phi's not getting Tam's breakup reason because there's some piece of it Tam can't tell Phi yet, but I think we're not getting the reason because the narrative put us squarely on Phi's side in the first episode, and now it's gradually showing us that Phi wasn't an angel.

Think about how much we knew about Phi from the start: his job, his condo, all his possessions, his colleagues, his boss, his reputation, his fanbase, his university days, his ex-boyfriend, his award, his billboard, etc.

Now think about what we knew about Tam in episode one: he studied abroad in Australia. He dated Phi. They broke up. He's really hot. He came back because Yong said, "If you still love him, come back."

We spent all of episode four with Phi's mother.

It's only in episode five that Tam's is mentioned.

And I think this is all very intentionally and cleverly laid out. Because Phi already knows a lot of what we're going to see, but his perspective is going to change. Like in this episode, he relives the night Tam adopted Sosay, which was also a night they fought and Phi went out to find Tam's cat to make amends.

We're literally seeing that Phi's capable of changing for the better when Tam tells him directly what he wants or needs. I think that could be the lesson Tam needs to learn.

Hard to say without the second half, but that's the impression I'm getting from the setup we have so far.

Anyway JUSTICE FOR TAM MY SON IS BEAUTIFUL AND HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

The defense rests.

[personalyouko]

I'd like to add some more thoughts. I know this post is probably old but like. My hyperfixation has decided Al-an is the cutest so here we go.

Feelings and emotions are so very complicated. Several times through the conversations with Al-an I could swear rather than there being MORE colors I almost feel like there are a MIX of colors. Like how something you see may give you feelings of joy, but also sadness, because you're remembering a time long past that you can no longer get back to. Like remembering someone who has passed away whom you loved very much.

First off! I think he may have been feeling a bit sad, when he looks at Robin when he waves at her, and when she says, "You're really not in my head anymore?" Because as much as I think he's enjoying his new body, when he was in Robin's head, at least he wasn't ALONE with his thoughts. Considering the fact that his entire life was spent as part of a collective, having only one voice occupying one mind might be very sad for him. It's possible that green has more significance than I can interoperate at the moment, because I feel like it should be a very important color. Literally all their buildings are green, so it must mean a lot.

Because of the way his bio-lights are there is a possibility that green and blue are so close together it may be hard for me to tell the difference. And they may also be mixing at some points.

I think this mix is most prominent when he says "I disobeyed an order from the collective." For clear reasons. Al-an likely has A LOT of regret. And he had A LOT of time to think about this regret as well (1000 years in storage gives you a lot of time to think)

So we start with a pink shade. This might be embarrassment. It might also be shame of some sort. It changes to blue/green blue-ish green-ish or green-ish blue-ish. Which could be a mix of sadness and reflection, consideration. To the brief but noteable flash or orangy-red color. Which very clearly is anger. And going frame by frame, it almost seems like right after the orange/red his lights flash brighter for a moment, almost white in color. Perhaps he's surprised at himself for feeling angry? He doesn't seem like he feels angry very often. Al-an has always seemed mostly cool headed and gentle, curious. But there's clearly a lot of negative feelings surrounding the accident.

Right as his body is waking up is the time that it's hardest to understand what color he's letting off, because the screen quite literally has a mono-chrome black and white filter over it from Robin nearly blacking out.

There were a lot of times I feel as if certain colors were almost mixed together, or shifting partly and then back, which really does tell us that Al-an seems far more complex emotionally than he'd like us to think.

There are times when I actually wonder if Al-an isn't the greatest example of Architects as a whole. If maybe other Architects are actually more emotionally aware than he is (if they live at all). There is a PDA entry in the first game that I believe is referring to Al-an being separated from the other "Foundlings" early for special training. So it seems when he was a little baby Architect he was separated from his "Siblings" perhaps, and sent to training earlier than usual. Perhaps he missed out on some early developmental milestones because of this. I don't know. It's just a theory. Thoughts. He's currently infesting my mind with thoughts about his weird centaur alien ass. I love him.

As a bonus I'll include a picture I drew of Al-an engaging in human humor.

AL-AN’s colors

Alright so I’ve been trying to make understanding AL-AN’s colors as easy as possible for me, so I’ll start with color coding his lines in the fabricator base. I’ve decided to only use the final version of the game for this. The colors in Robin’s lines also indicate AL-AN’s color as she says them.

Before data transfer begins. Robin commences data transfer. AL-AN stretches. AL-AN: It has been some time since I last stretched out in so many dimensions. Like waking from a dream. AL-AN picks Robin up with his levitator arm. Robin: Whoa! Hey. AL-AN waves back. Robin: You’re really not in my head anymore? AL-AN: There are some remnants. (Pause.) Would you like your memories of me removed as well? Robin: Are you kidding? No way. You still owe me the end of your story. AL-AN: I told you I must return home. To assess. Repair. Make amends. Robin: Tell me more. AL-AN: When the bacteria escaped, it was my fault. I disobeyed the directive from my network. (Pause.) AL-AN stares off into space. Robin: Oh no… AL-AN turns green and teleports to the terminal. AL-AN: We noticed that a species of leviathan young produced an enzyme that is efficient against the bacteria. I thought if we incubated Sea Dragon eggs, we might expedite their hatching. I was not wrong… Robin: But… AL-AN: It would appear that Sea Dragon parents are stronger and more motivated than our facility was rated to handle. Robin: And the bacteria got out, infecting everything. How many survived the outbreak, back home? Are they still waiting for someone to bring back a cure? AL-AN: I do not know. Robin: Can I help? AL-AN: The fact that I withheld this information does not concern you? Robin: It was certainly manipulative. But I’ve also made my own share of mistakes. I’m still committed to helping. AL-AN: I accept your help. Find me at the Gate when you are ready. In te meantime, I must prepare.

The colors used are as follows: Purple Cool pink Green Warm pink with hints of orange Blue Saturated neutral to warm pink Orange

I’ll get into what I think the colors mean in a second, but first let me preface it by saying that I could have gotten some of the colors wrong as the lighting conditions change in the scene. I also want to mention that I don’t think the emotion behind a color varies from Architect to Architect. They seem to value efficiency, so having to learn the color-emotion combinations of each Architect would not be ideal. Therefore, I think this color chart applies not only to AL-AN, but to every Architect.

Purple seems to be a sort of stand-by color, as well as a color between some of the color shifts (not apparent in my color coding above). It could possibly mean there is no consciousness currently inhabiting the vessel. The in between shifts of purple could just be a product of two colors blending together as they shift from one to the other.

Cool pink seems to be a neutral color. AL-AN is not feeling any specific emotion strongly enough for it to show. It is possible that AL-AN could suppress his feelings somewhat, resulting in this neutral color.

Green seems to signify a heavier processing load and analytical thinking. He turns green as he mentions the need to assess the state of his homeworld. He turns green when he notices or remembers the terminal and what his next step for now is. What’s perplexing is that he turns green when stretching too, but this could be explained by the fact that AL-AN is getting reacquainted with an Architect vessel after having been in storage and in Robin’s mind for a long time. He is also waking up the facility from what seems to be a low power mode as well as powering on the robotic arms. I believe this would need some processing power. Furthermore, it does make sense that Architects would predominantly use green in their work in this case as they seem to value information and knowledge.

Warm pink with hints of orange gives me the impression of fondness and companionship. He turns this color when first looking at and interacting with Robin in his new body, before the weight of his past mistakes crashes into him again as he tells her his story.

Blue looks to me like joy or possibly amusement. He turns this color when waving back and when Robin speaks to him. He could be happy just for that, or perhaps because he is happy he is no longer limited to her cerebral cortex and can now start making real progress in returning to his home and making amends.

Saturated pink could mean embarrassment. It makes sense when applied to the part where he talks about the accident being his fault. The embarrassment he feels after waving back and hearing Robin ask if he’s really not in her head anymore could be because he does not know what the gesture means, that he’s a bit embarrassed by the awed reaction from Robin, because there is a bit of an awkward silence at that moment, or because of the fond and joyful feelings he’s having at the moment. And then he’s only feeling embarrassment as he talks about what he thought was his foolproof solution regarding the incubation of the Sea Dragon eggs. He remains embarrassed from there on out—for not knowing the extent of the damage he caused back home, for withholding crucial information about him. It could be a reason for wanting some space from Robin, telling her to meet him at the Gate when she’s ready. Though perhaps he simply needs time to prepare or is only giving Robin time to prepare and his suggestion is unrelated to his embarrassment.

Orange seems like anger. He turns orange after admitting that he disobeyed the directive from his network, which he is probably angry with himself for. Orange shows up only once in this entire scene for a very brief amount of time, and I feel it makes sense in case it does signify anger, as AL-AN does not come across as someone who is easy to anger.

This is how I interpreted his colors anyhow. Some emotions we didn’t get to see being represented by a color, like sadness, grief, fear, and love, or perhaps I am simply wrong in my assessment. It’s possible these emotions have their own colors, but will need to exist outside of canon.

TL;DR Purple — Stand-by. No consciousness inhabiting the vessel. Cool pink — Neutral. Green — Processing. Analyzing. Warm pink with hints of orange — Fondness. Companionship. Blue — Joy. Amusement. Saturated neutral to warm pink — Embarrassment. Orange — Anger.

[stormblessed95]

It has come to my attention that jikook have been spotted together at the airport… maybe in the US… Are You Sure, season 2? Maybe??

Spotted and with a camera. Lol idk about AYS 2 or work or a personal trip (I'm leaning towards option 3 but we will see) but they WOULD! I'm obsessed with them and how much they just love being together. Honestly 🥰🏳️‍🌈 Happy Pride jikook

Because seriously:

They go on a trip to Sapporo 2 weeks pre-military service... Which is the romantic winter get away spot known for where people go for if they want to get trapped by snow and never leave each other and stay there. (Source: "the wind blows, I like you")

Went together for all their pre-military checks, physicals and requirements (bet they filled all their paperwork together too) and Jimin was the first person JK wanted to show his shaved head too

Were the happiest, giggliest, clingest ever on live after they got back right before enlistment

Jimin dancing too Stuck with U by JB and Ariana, his last This is Jimin before he left for enlistment WITH Jungkook

Lyrics he dances too in the clip:

There's nowhere we need to be, no, no, no

I'ma get to know you better

Kinda hope we're here forever

There's nobody on these streets

If you told me that the world's endin'

Ain't no other way that I can spend it

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Got all this time in my hands

Might as well cancel our plans (Yeah, yeah)

I could stay here forever

So, lock the door and throw out the key

Can't fight this no more, It's just you and me

And there's nothin' I, nothin' I, I can do

I'm stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

So, go ahead and drive me insane

Baby, run your mouth, I still wouldn't change

Being stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

I'm stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

Go to Japan together for a personal trip 19 days before they enlist

Go through a HARD military service together for 18 months where they lean on and support each other daily and constantly.

Go to Japan at the same time (but arriving separately 🤨) 19 days before discharge (coincidence with those numbers man lol)

Get discharged together

Does their discharge live together where the vibes are VIBING and they are also shocked at the ARMY staying and loving them and getting used to being civilians again and just I need to make a separate post if y'all want about this one but the vibes were THERE

And now they go on another trip together to the US. Spotted by fans with a camera and a manager. Not a crew. So work or personal.... 🤷‍♀️

Look, you think that as brothers, as buddies, they would get tired of each other at some point. Want to do some of these things with their other besties they have for sure been missing a ton! Yet, they don't seem to be and they continue to be stuck like glue. And it's giving 🏳️‍🌈🎉🎊

Love that they never get tired of each other's company. Can't wait to see what they give us next!

[itsoverfeeling]

Episode 7 of Murderbot

It's been a second since I've done a more analysis-style post, but I'm feeling quite excited post-episode 7 and I wanna get my thoughts out there. There's a lot I could get into, so I'm only going to focus on a few parts.

Warning for TV spoilers and an image of a decapitated head.

Before watching this episode I made a post stating the following:

also also. i feel like the point about bharadwaj being attacked at the beginning of the show where it has to be asserted that “it wasn’t a monster, its just an animal doing what animals do” is interesting as well… hm I see so its more difficult for the team to maintain objectivity and/or sympathy when they feel directly threatened or fearful. i wonder what parallels could be drawn from that!

Indeed, this episode acknowledges the immediate aftermath of the team seeing Murderbot, well, murder. It's one thing to know a SecUnit can kill versus seeing (and feeling, in the case of those getting sprayed with blood) a SecUnit kill. And like I point out in that post, they are now struggling to maintain their objectivity and sympathy. Where once, humanity (and I use this word purposefully) was easy to grant Murderbot, it is now creating a new set of problems for the characters... now they're forced to ask: why would a person (meaning human) do this? why would a person (human) not understand the gravity of this? (how much of a person is it really?)

The issue with that line of thinking is that they haven't managed to separate human from person. Because Murderbot is not a human, it is a construct. It see itself as a construct, it likes having its armor on, it likes having guns in its arms, it likes being strong and it doesn't like a lot of things it deems as "human" things. It's the team that wants to see Murderbot as a human rather than a person, and Murderbot can't be a human, not even if the crew repeats it over and over again.

Murderbot, obviously, is mostly frustrated that the team doesn't understand that violence is necessary here. It points out that Dr. Mensah was willing to kill a SecUnit, that's basically the same thing. Dr. Mensah... acquiesces but I wonder if she's truly grappled with the personhood of constructs. I say this, because, similarly to the previous episode ending on Leebeebee's decapitation, this episode ends on the decapitation of a SecUnit.

The difference being that Leebeebee's body was looked upon with horror and ongoing grief, but the SecUnit is looked upon as an eliminated threat. Or rather, it's barely even glanced at!

Whereas Leebeebee has remained a constant horror, that they've been replaying through their minds, delaying their own escape/safety as they think about her death and frustrating Murderbot when it just wants them to move onto the next self-preserving move, the SecUnit's death is forgettable.

When a human dies, they struggle to prioritize their immediate safety, because how could they? But when a SecUnit dies and, say, one of their crew faints, they are immediately prepared to prioritize his immediate safety.

For Murderbot, there is no difference between the death of a dangerous human or a dangerous construct. But for the humans, they have not yet grappled with this difference.

So they ascribe personhood to Murderbot, but they are not truly prepared for what it means to consider Murderbot, and associated constructs, a person. And Murderbot may be forced to wade through the consequences of this.

I also want to note this moment:

She's accusing Murderbot of not caring about the team, but, functionally, is enforcing the idea that humans are the priority (to be mourned, to be saved, to be sympathized with) and that Murderbot is solidly the outlier.

Because, look, we (meaning Preservation Alliance and accidentally implying humans) take care of each other! And you, Murderbot?

You kill people, including your own (meaning humans you should care about and accidentally implying constructs you're the same as).

What an amazing episode to show that the crew is not yet prepared to understand Murderbot! And Murderbot, despite how it will probably feel justified in thinking these humans are irrational, continues to deeply crave a chance to have... something. I'm sure it hasn't figured it out, yet. There's a reason why it showed its face when Mensah insisted. It didn't have to, but it chose to.

And to top this off, I'd like to acknowledge this bit I wrote yesterday:

i feel like the point about bharadwaj being attacked at the beginning of the show where it has to be asserted that “it wasn’t a monster, its just an animal doing what animals do” is interesting as well...

The animals make another appearance as well! Look at me, making well-timed observations. And this episode, the animals do what animals do. They fulfill their instincts and mate and lay eggs. And then, they protect their eggs from those that have harmed them, through what they've determined is the easiest route to safety, by killing and eliminating the threat.

Sounds familiar...

[luxiomahariel]

Apologies for dropping my lawnchair into your inbox and ranting incomprehensibly but I have thoughts and wasn't sure where to shout them. This is going to sound clunky but like...

Trans men are MEN because they are TRANS. They are TRANS because they are MEN. You cannot separate those things. If they weren't men they wouldn't be facing transphobia. That's how that works.

Also I cannot stand how people pull the "transandrophobia can't be real bc it would imply androphobia exists!!11" people being either deliberately obtuse or just plain stupid while acting like they're linguists. Like damn just because misogyny has MISO in it doesn't mean it's about the fucking soup?? Just because homeowner has MEOW in the middle doesn't mean it has anything to do with cats???

It's TRANSANDRO!! Trans man. Transandro-phobia. Phobia of trans men. Although I doubt even hyphenating it would be enough to get it through people's heads at this point. I can't stand it when people say something stupid and ignorant with full confidence acting like they are professionals just because they read the word linguist once.

Once again I'm sorry for soapboxing here I think my patience with the online queer community just snapped and I see your posts around a lot idk.

.

[livrelady]

This is excellent, thank you for the response! Kirk really is delightfully complicated in a way that I feel can get overshadowed, either by Kirk Drift or just how high octane Spock's whole deal is. He is crushingly lonely and devastatingly romantic and morally opposed to solving any of that with the people he spends the most time with (even if he spends a not inconsiderable amount of time flirting with Spock).

Back to the original post, in the case that they do get together (however that happens), how would you see their professional careers playing out? I can only remember one married Starfleet couple and I'm like 90% the guy dies almost immediately after their wedding.

I know you subscribe to the idea that the 23rd century is homophobic, but in a world where they could openly be together without dealing with systemic discrimination, what do you think that would look like? I can't imagine them having separate commissions, but I also don't know how kirk would feel about being in charge of his partner.

I was thinking about my personal "TOS is really its own thing" headcanons for K/S, and also, that one of the things that really surprised me when I actually marathoned the whole series was the acknowledged ethical issue around captain/crew fraternization.

To rewind back to my ship, lol: I definitely think that Spock and Kirk are obsessively in love with each other, and it's pretty obvious that every other relationship and person in their lives pales in comparison, but I don't actually imagine that they've said or done anything about this beyond the kinds of things we've seen onscreen.

I mean. Yes, that includes things like "when Kirk gets a massage on the bridge for his back pain, he just assumes it's Spock and is intensely uncomfortable to discover it's someone else" + the two of them saying breathtaking romantic things with obvious heart eyes while ignoring the existence of everyone around them + Kirk's most compelling and insightful love interest remarking that Spock obviously belongs with him as if he always will be at Kirk's side + everything "Amok Time" chooses to be + mutual seething jealousy/Spock excising his rival from Kirk's mind while he sleeps + Kirk saying Spock is closer to him than anyone in the universe + Spock regularly abandoning his principles when it comes to Kirk etc etc etc. But I don't think they've actually said what they feel or initiated a (physically) sexual relationship during TOS itself.

Taking TOS by itself and ignoring the regular reboots of their characterizations in ... well, everything else, I definitely feel like they're moving inexorably towards that kind of unambiguous romantic relationship in TOS, just that they haven't quite taken that last step yet.

In fact, I suspect that the "You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe" statement from bodysnatched Kirk to Spock is likely the most explicit statement either has made about how they feel or what their relationship really is, and it carefully stops just short of saying too much. And it's immediately followed by a) a mind-meld, I think the fourth between them, but the first in which Spock effortlessly melds them without a single word to help, and b) one of the most extended periods of physical contact between them, with iirc over two minutes of Spock holding Kirk's bare hand/wrist on screen as they try to escape together signifying nothing, with scene cuts suggesting the actual duration may in fact be longer (*gasps in Vulcan*).

The show ends with that episode because of the cancellation, but there's something weirdly apropos about it as a finale on a purely shipping level. I definitely felt like the dynamic between them has reached such a point by "Turnabout Intruder" that there's no going back. But I don't think anything more significant than what we've seen has happened off screen, just that the acknowledgment of the nature of their feelings and the shift to an overtly romantic, sexual relationship seem inevitable at this point. And by "overtly," I mean to each other, not necessarily anyone else.

There are various reasons I feel this way. Partly it's the high-octane yearning and repression that both exhibit in very different ways, which I think make more sense if they haven't acknowledged anything yet or transitioned away from pretending it's platonic. But one reason I envision them as Not Quite There But Definitely Going To Be, that I've rarely seen mentioned thus far, is something I would never have guessed from pop culture or even fandom osmosis.

Early in the series, Kirk explicitly states that he considers his crew completely off-limits in a romantic context. This ethical restriction applies only to him and not any other senior officers. Throughout the rest of the series, we're told and shown that Starfleet does not forbid fraternization among crew members of different ranks. Kirk himself says that it would be fine for Spock to have a romantic relationship with Janice Rand, just not Kirk.

And moreover, Kirk never does voluntarily enter a romantic relationship with any crew member. He and Janice Rand have a mutual infatuation for awhile that both handle with as much professionalism as possible. The closest thing to an openly romantic interaction with a crew member is probably Kirk kissing Helen Noel after Helen and Dr. Adams artificially screwed around with his memories and feelings—but we discover in the process that he was the one who refused to do more than dance at the Christmas party, when he backed off and scrupulously talked about space while Helen was the one with the unsentimental sex fantasy who keeps pushing his boundaries even in the present. That's why he's so unusually hostile; they were never together, even as a fling, and she hasn't taken no for an answer.

I guess Kirk and Mulholl agreeing to be possessed by married aliens for a final goodbye kiss is sort of ...? I mean. You get it, sometimes there's some sci-fi plot device, but nothing real and nothing while he has full control of his body and mind.

Kirk's real exes are all former long-term girlfriends, most of them also part of Starfleet and professionals in science or science-adjacent fields, but never crew members.

It's not 100% clear in TOS if the repeated statements and suggestions about lack of Starfleet restrictions on fraternization except wrt the captain is Starfleet policy, or just Kirk's personal stance. Kirk says he's not allowed to have a relationship of that kind with Janice Rand in "The Naked Time," but he's contracted the disease by then and it's part of a generally unhinged ramble. It's later stated that romance isn't forbidden on Starfleet vessels, but that's about crew romances in general and not the captain in particular. So it's difficult to know the real source of the ethical prohibition. Maybe there are actual regulations around this (makes sense) or maybe it's just a hard ethical line that Kirk has independently chosen for himself (also makes sense), but when he's functional and autonomous enough to be held responsible for his actions, this is a line he does not cross.

The point here is that, while I don't remotely blame other K/S fans for ignoring this inconvenient fraternization detail, Spock is a member of Kirk's crew. Yes, he's a senior officer and the highest-ranking person on the ship after Kirk himself, so maybe it wouldn't be as egregious as with someone else—but then again, maybe Kirk propositioning Spock would be considered even more unethical than propositioning Janice, since Janice at least has other authorities over her, while Spock answers directly to Kirk in the chain of command and will do virtually anything Kirk tells or asks him to do.

Kirk and Spock's relationship is intense and [gestures] everything enough that there are scenarios where I could imagine Kirk dropping this otherwise non-negotiable ethical line (the classic is, of course, "Spock's human heritage makes his pon farr cycle erratic and it comes back early ... oh no..."). I don't think we've seen any such scenario during TOS, though.

In any case, I feel like Kirk is unlikely to proposition Spock either romantically or sexually during the five-year mission. After years of constant proximity and yearning and ostensibly platonic hijinks and assuming it would never happen, I could see his resolve crumbling if Spock tried to initiate a romance with him. But that is also unlikely throughout most of TOS, because of Spock's own hang-ups around emotion and attachment—he's struggling with shame over feeling basic friendly affection, and in reality he feels far more than that.

I also don't think their true preferences when it comes to love, or their sense of what love really is for them, are inclined towards casual/undefined relationships or even poly relationships. So I don't personally envision them as FWBs or in a "they were in love but not taking it that seriously" scenario; I don't think either situation would be all that probable or desirable for them. They're both conspicuously jealous of anything or anyone that could possibly compete with their own absolute centrality in each other's lives; Spock never so much as kisses anyone without being dubconned into it and is guilty about having friends; Kirk's entire sexual history when it's not For The Mission is consistently geared towards long-term and sentimentally romantic relationships. Kirk supplies a very clear, emphatic description of love as he understands it:

Is he important to you, more important than anything? Is he as though he were a part of you? [...] But you can't really love him. You haven't the slightest knowledge of love, the total union of two people.

Kirk understands impossible/forbidden love in terms of some fundamental separation from a single beloved, being perpetually apart from them and unable to achieve the kind of absolute joining of lives and minds that he regards as love. (In some ways, this seems an incredibly Vulcan perspective on love, which, well.)

I think he and Spock are close to crossing the last barriers to that point of absolute union by "Turnabout Intruder," given their extreme intimacy as well as the very real possibility of grafting their lives and minds to each other in the way both pretty clearly crave. But I feel like there are only two ways it can really happen: 1) some wildly fortunate circumstance makes it ethically justifiable for Kirk to approach Spock, or 2) Spock makes the first move, which means that unless they're just randomly very lucky, everything hangs on him coming to terms with himself.

Then again, I also think Spock's arc across the show is building towards a point where he is coming to terms with himself in that way, with asserting what he wants, what bothers him, and what he's willing to reach for or accept. By the finale, I can believe he's truly on the point of getting there.

The movies hit the reset and retcon buttons hard, but taking TOS by itself as aired, the arc of their relationship and its development over the course of the show feels more hopeful to me. I can believe that S3 Spock has grown into himself enough to get to the point he needs to be at to make the first ("first") move before much longer. This is the Spock who essentially told Starfleet to go fuck themselves because they wouldn't let him jeopardize a fraught diplomatic situation to search for Kirk, told Sulu to scan for Kirk for potentially years, then defied explicit orders and tracked him down personally. There is very little he wouldn't do for Kirk by S3.

Kirk, meanwhile, has never been anything but 1000% receptive to whatever Spock is willing to give him; he spends a significant portion of TOS looking like he's about to dissolve into hearts at eye contact and a slight mouth twitch from Spock, if that. By S3, though, he's visibly more ground-down and tired, he's been put through further horrors that he often only escaped via his intimacy with Spock, and he's increasingly desperate for real connection. I can believe that at this point, he'd finally be at "fuck it" if Spock's love was on the table.

So I don't think that during the time period of TOS, their romance is formalized at all, or even acknowledged, or that they have a sexual relationship beyond the turbo-charged UST and frequent physical contact (to a degree that seems likely obscene on Vulcan. but as Spock no doubt justifies to himself, they're not on Vulcan). But I also think that by the end of the show, their dynamic has moved towards a stage where the shift to an unambiguously romantic relationship, even if hidden, feels inevitable and imminent. I genuinely feel like they're so close to full honesty with each other at this point that it can't be long, and that's with over a year of the mission left.

[daydreamer2467]

Stormlight Archive: Moash’s Potential Redemption & My Issues with Stormlight’s Political Narrative

(Spoilers for Stormlight Archive books 1-5)

My main issue with the idea that Moash can’t be redeemed is that he is the only character of the lower caste in Stormlight whose foundational goals are dismantling said caste system. Him being redeemed presents an inherently different message than that of the redemption of Dalinar due to Moash’s violent actions being related to a collective retaliation against an oppressive class whilst Dalinar’s actions were acts of oppression that he himself committed in upholding said oppressive class.

Moash not being redeemed however, enforces the idea that by just explaining to the oppressive class that oppression is immoral they will automatically change their minds when in reality this is simply not the case. Moash’s retaliation is not done with the comfortability of light eyes in mind and thus is not celebrated by the readers or light eyes characters.

I also want to express that when authors demonize or create villains of these types of characters they are inadvertently shifting the narrative of real world movements for political change. Furthermore, I don’t think it is far fetched to assume that Sanderson created plot lines for Moash in RoW and WaT to shift his actions away from political change (killing Elhokar; the King of an imperialist nation that upholds slavery) and towards more personal acts of violence (trying to get Kal to kill himself, killing Teft, killing Leyton).

This is not to say that characters like Moash are not allowed to commit personal acts of violence, only that they should not be representative of an entire political movement.

The story then tries to change this representative as Moash’s actions start to change, with the political movement/narrative being given to Jasnah when she gets rid of slavery (enforcing what I talked about in the above paragraphs) and is thus separated from Moash’s narrative. This however doesn’t change the fact that he is still the primary character whose goals reflect this political movement and whose actions are inherently correlated with these politics.

Needless to say, I find this to be a bit of a copout in regard to Stormlight’s political storyline and Moash’s arc. Jasnah, who has never/barely shown any care for the plight of the dark eyed caste and is part of the literal ruling family of Alethkar is given this plot instead of a man who was enslaved and who killed a king in the name of enslaved people. Instead of what should have been a huge, emotionally satisfying plot point, it feels as if Moash and this narrative were separated in an attempts to make him an easier villain to hate.

In that sense I don’t blame those who hate Moash as I believe that was Sanderson’s intention but I do question what sort of message this sends to the audience. At no point are our upper class characters faced or challenged by their own  prejudice, whilst it is Kaladin who the narrative treats as bigoted for not trusting said light eyes.

I hope Moash gets his redemption arc and I do believe that him surviving the first half of Stormlight will mean some sort of redemption arc but I worry for how it will be handled. I also wish that Sanderson was more open to talking about his politics and handling of Moash as it has been very hard for me to find anything he has said on this topic. I will most likely post about this again in the future and I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts💕

[mimikoolover]

i promise this is not a rant about haters or other people but i just wanted to talk about this...

non-jikookers fail to see jikook as humans and it always comes back to bite them in the ass. jikook are human beings and will have human feelings. the military is tough on everyone, physically and mentally. that's why the companion enlistment exists, and i do see how it works for brothers who have already lived together all their lives and close friends who probably grew up at each other's houses etc. i hope jikook continue to tell us more about it but it's clear they went in expecting to support each other. now they come out from the military into another incredibly tough environment mentally (being famous) where jungkook has to deal with being harassed by a stalker on the first night he's out, then he's on stage performing in front of millions the third (?) night, and also having to explain himself for a hat which he wasn't even wearing on stage or in a fully official setting. so the point is to jikookers/anyone with a brain it's not a surprise to see him continue to spend time with jimin, the person he's relied on mentally for the past 18 months ffs!

for years jikookers would look at jikook and observe the obvious through the things they've said and done. obviously jikookers (should) love jikook as people, separately and together, tremendously so for those that did not like the idea of jikook's bond or simply did not care, it was easy to ignore jungkook saying jimin is his catalyst, or making GCF in tokyo, or jimin "biting" jungkook on the neck and saying jungkook's funny antics made him less closed off when he's nervous. all of the things jikook said and did, people chalked up to "fanservice" when they did not want to admit that jimin and jungkook as people are actually close.

as a side note the fanservice accusations barely held up when jikook themselves never played up their bond for us fans, but that also didn't seem to matter.

when we first heard about jikook travelling together in chapter 2, i think that came as a shock to quite a few people who happily deluded themselves into not realising how close jikook actually are. then when AYS came out, i take that as first hand proof that jikookers were right that jikook are close for real. through making and releasing AYS jikook proved that themselves.

then the companion enlistment...yeah. i don't even need to go into detail. if there ever was proof that jikook have a close bond, this was undeniably the biggest truth bomb anyone doubting that could have gotten, directly from jikook themselves. because at this point the issue isn't even people not believing jikook are dating each other because who cares, the issue is people not even being able to admit that jikook have an incredibly close bond that should be celebrated regardless if it's romantic or platonic.

so basically us jikookers have been yapping all these years about jikook being close but AYS and the buddy enlistment were things done directly by jikook that pretty much prove that we were indeed right that they have a close bond (again regardless of what kind of bond).

in order to cope, haters have come with a whole load of bullshit, but they are having to get more and more delusional which i'm sure hurts them immensely.

so being a jikooker and wondering what's next, looking at jikook as humans and as human beings who have proved they are close. like my post i made said i don't think it's unreasonable to wonder how they will handle not being stuck together 24/7 anymore. if haters would have done the same, they would not be as shocked by jikook travelling together.

even from a non-shipper perspective, the situation is this:

jikook travel together prior to enlisting together. like, days prior. where their last trip is to their favourite country. i mean, okay. their trips then get put on disney+, the first true official subunit activity we ever got from them. (haters are scared as shit that this will continue btw, that's also why they're crashing out so hard, if AYS season 2 happens, that's their worst nightmare).

jikook enlist together as companions, which is reserved for the closest people, guaranteeing us the knowledge (unless you're delusional) that jikook will spend every single day of 18 months together. in the army. at the frontlines. an official pairing once again but in a different context.

jikook leave the military together. do their live together. both of their first social media posts include each other.

days after discharge, jikook are seen meeting up at incheon airport and going towards a departures gate together.

now if you're a jikooker, them being attached at the hip 24/7 isn't surprising. but i do admit, as i have read people talk about before, we are not immune to bias about jikook. however, lately the things jikook themselves are doing is less our yapping and more direct actions that are a lot harder to discredit. and i think it's making a lot of people very uncomfortable, and they should honestly be ashamed of themselves for that.

[theamberparadise]

Hello, This is my first time making a request on your block.

Can you do a NSFW and dating headcannon for Jeff the killer and ticci Toby x Jessica Rabbit like s/o ( separately ) , please

HI HONEY IM SO SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE TUMBLR DELETED MY 2K WORD DRAFT AND NOW I HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN IM SO SORRY

TICCI TOBY AND JEFF THE KILLER X JESSICA RABBIT READER

SYPNOSIS; How would Jeff and Toby react to reader who looks like Jessica Rabbit?

TWs; toxic relationship, blood

A/N; hi hon!! welcome to my blog!! im so sorry this was sooo late tumblr hates me sm, i hope you like this as much as i liked writing it!

ps! i assumed reader is also a killer.

"Seriously, what do you see in him?" "He makes me laugh."

TICCI TOBY

The first time he saw you, Toby was beyond bewildered. Were you real or were you another figment of his twisted imagination?

Nonetheless, his eyes were on you now. And he needs your eyes on him.

His first instinct? Flaunting his muscles at you whenever and wherever he can. Getting a glass of water? His shirt is suddenly off. Fixing yourself in front of the living room mirror? He mutters it’s hot then slowly rips off his jacket. Seeing him during training? He flexes his muscles a bit more.

He thinks this is a widely accepted way of getting girls when really it’s so awkward when he does it.

Second instinct? Getting as close to you as he possibly can just to sniff your scent. Even if you’re just leaning gracefully against a counter, he might walk in, head high, shoulders back while he leans right beside you. Not across, not near, beside. Like there aren't any more spots for him to lean on.

“Toby, hon,” you cleared your throat. “You’re getting a little close.” “Am I?” he cocks his head to the side. “My bad, I’ll move aside.” 

He moves literally three inches away.

His third and final attempt? Leaving you gifts! Although it does leave you confuzzled.

One moment your Versace heels are there, and the next second, you hear your door close and now it’s gone. The next day, you wake up to see your Versace heels back again, with a pair of sword heels from Paciotti– in your size.

More of his gifts would include a sketchy brand of lotion from a drugstore, a cracked eyeshadow palette, and a seemingly used lipstick.

You appreciate his efforts but you couldn’t help but feel perplexed.

Once he notices you haven’t been saying “thank you” to him like you should be, he trudges to your door post-mission holding a bundle of snapped flowers that looked like they were pulled from a couple’s anniversary date (it was) with his breathing awry and ragged.

He keeps his eyes steady on yours. And as soon as you asked what was wrong, he shoves the bouquet in your face, like he didn’t cause you to have an allergic attack.

“Fuh–flowers. For y-you.” You gently press the cloud of petals down. “Okay, Toby– Okay, honey.”

He would still press his gaze onto you like you owed him something (which you did) and after about five minutes, he speaks once again. “Why ha-haven’t you wearing m-my gifts?”

You stay silent, backing away as your heel meets the floor again, your face looking to your side.

You feel his thumb and index gently hold your face in the right direction– where he is, and leans even closer than ever.

“I wa-want you. Do you want m-me t-too?”

Ever since you said yes to him, his ego had been fueled to the MAX.

If somebody even slightly mentions you, he’s on them and joining the conversation he had nothing to do with. “Oh, h-her? Yeah, I pu-pulled her. Not li-like you g-guys can do anything ab-about i-it,” that statement earns Toby a nasty black eye, of which he thankfully didn’t feel, but caused his face to swell for a week. He crawls back to you seeking validation even though it was him who started the mess.

He does anything and everything for you if it means he won’t lose a part of his pride like he did last time with Clockwork. Complaining about the heat melting your makeup off? He’s installing a new air conditioner. Notice a rip in your oh-so-glittery dress? He’s suddenly suitable as a surgeon. Need to detangle your hair? He’s treating it like a frail animal.

It’s the same when you’re on missions together. A rowdy victim scuffs your shoe? “That little sh-shit,” he’s off hacking the poor guy to hell.

He blushes shamelessly when you call him "my boy" or "my good little champ" while pinching his cheeks, makes him feel like one of those guys back in his middle school that would steal his crushes.

And although all of this seems sweet, it doesn’t mean it won’t have toxic tendencies.

His jealousy problems can overwhelm the relationship. He immediately jumps to conclusions every time he sees you hanging out with someone who’s not him. “Why were y-you looking at h-him? You’re not th-thinking of talking t-to him, are you?” “Did you go for a smoke with them j-just now? You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

It hurts, yes, but try to actually pursue another guy and he’ll come crying floods with his knees on the floor, gripping on your dress like it’s his life line.

"Toby, baby, no pulling, please." You try to snag the fabric gently from him. "No, no, no, no, don't leave me-- p-please no, I'm s'sorry," he chokes out, "Never again, hon, please,"

NSFW 

The reason why he takes care of your hair so gently and attentively is because he likes to pull on it whenever he’s fucking you from behind or receiving a blowjob from you. Seeing you wince in pain while you’re so used to being taken care of by him is like cocaine.

He memorizes all the spots you like to reveal in your outfits just by him staring at you for hours on end. He uses this to his advantage and cheekily leaves bites on there.

Purposefully buys you makeup that isn't kiss proof just to see your lipstick stain his lips and his cock. Sometimes, he takes pictures of them and sends them to whoever was bullying him recently.

Have a meeting with the major proxies and need to orgasm in the middle of it? No worries, he’s under your dress sucking your clit like there’s no tomorrow.

Loves it when you wear heels during sex. He cums in his pants by the thought of you stepping on his dick with them.

Once he gets home after a particularly frustrating day of missions, he drops down to his knees and starts humping your leg with his bare cock while massaging your hands and arms through your silky gloves.

He circles his thumb on the seams of your long dress while you give him the best titjobs of his life.

Lives for the idea of you having a wardrobe malfunction in front of him and the other proxies. Lowkey a cuck.

Bites every cellulite line he finds, every stretch mark he finds, kisses every scar you might have and thanks you for even letting him.

Moans a little louder than he’s supposed to when you suck on his adam’s apple.

He finds cumming in your hair so enchanting, seeing milky white beads of his honey absorb into your smooth hair has him groaning.

JEFF THE KILLER

“Holy shit,” were the first words that escaped his mouth when he first saw you. 

I mean, how could he not? Look at you, all shiny and pretty, it’s like you were made by an angel from heaven. He’s seen his fair share of hot supermodels and sexy porn stars, but none of them even come close to a creature as beautiful as you.

His approach for you is… not great.

Catcalling, whistling, and pervy pick-up lines were his first thoughts. “ *wolf whistle* Nice tits, dollface!” “ *imitates animal clicking* Here, kitty, kitty.” “Over here, sweetcheeks!”

He does this especially when he knows others are watching. It’s his twisted way of calling first dibs.

Jeff loves how you play hard-to-get with other guys in a smooth, jazzy way. Even more when you do it to him.

When he feels as if you were ignoring him (which you were) he likes to leave twisted drawings of you taped on your door. Nothing too crazy, just you in your usual outfit of glamour and heels, but this time your boobs are way bigger than they are and your butt is wider than they should be. You figure that it’s how he looks at you.

You crumpled his drawings and threw them away? That’s fine, he’ll just go a little bit further and bring you a severed finger in a ziploc bag with a ring still on it. Surprisingly, the ring is actually a real diamond worth fifty thousand dollars. And it fit perfectly, too!

You thank him a day later and he thinks he’s the sexiest man in the world.

He then takes it even more up the road– weirdly just touching your hair with his grimy hands until you turn around and gently ask him to stop. Taking extreme observation of your face like it’s an art piece. Even stealing your perfume and spraying it on him even though he has never come close to even hugging you.

After Jeff feels like it’s time to go in for the catch, he breaks inside your room while you’re sleeping and hovers over you, caging you with his body. You’re still sleeping, face freshly moisturized and pretty. He lets his ragged, heavy cold breath blowing onto your face to wake you up, and once you do he grins even wider than humanly possible.

“Y’know, you coulda been sleepin’ in my bed.”

Once you said yes, he was on top of the world. He got cockier than he should really be.

He makes uncomfortably loud grunting and throat clearing noises to make everybody look at him and you, with his arm wrapped tightly around your waist, beaming wildly like he just caught a bear.

He purposefully makes out with you in public view, not caring about your lipgloss absolutely coating his face

For his bit of toxicity, he isolates you whenever too many people serve as competition.

This stems from his insecurity of not protecting what he should be protecting, so to keep your eyes only on him, he either locks you up in his room or a wide plain full of nothingness.

He ventures and finds you pretty daggers to keep on a garter on your thighs especially if you have a dress with a huge slit, both for show and for protection, even though he’s there beside you practically 24/7.

Goes crazy for you in red. Going out in an all-red outfit for a date? He’s insisting you stay at home.

He lets you use his blood from his mouth slit as lipstick.

Speak to him in that sultry voice of yours and he’s in love forever.

"Jeffrey, baby. Get me my eyelash curler, will you?" "Oh, shit," he groans, throwing his head back. "You sound like sin, sweets."

NSFW

Remember him dragging you back to the house because you wore red? Well, you’re now on the floor, getting plowed into next week.

Also goes crazy for you keeping your heels on during sex, especially when you can’t take it anymore and you’re pushing him off with them, just for him to push your legs up to your ears and fuck you deeper.

He likes it when you keep your dress on while you ride him. It makes the whole thing feel risky– forbidden.

Jeffrey likes you to get messy. One time, you come back from a rough mission looking like utter shit. Hair tangled like matted fur, dress ripped at the seams, stockings ruined, makeup smeared to hell… It took him everything from within to not pounce on you right then and there. Instead, he drags you by the arm, skin bruising under your glove to his bed and makes you look even worse the following morning.

He loves it when you have a full face of makeup and a pretty outfit before you have sex. It’s like a trophy to him– mascara stains on his pillows, your poor dress ripped to shreds on the floor.

Remember your sultry voice? Use it on him when you order him around and his heart will stop. He might cum in his pants without you touching an inch of his pale skin.

He likes making you stumble out of the door, limping out with his cum still inside and your panties in his pocket, leaving you to pray that your dress doesn’t fly up in the wind.

Do you like your bra being stolen from you? I hope so. Because he’s not going to return it after making you strike up a conversation with everyone while your tits threaten to pop out.

He purposefully messes with your clothing, cutting the seams just right so when you put it on it rips at the most ridiculous places. A huge rip from your clavicle to just under your tits. The seam at the slit of your dress lets go when you take a little step.

Loves watching your usually tired and sexy eyes shoot open when he hits that sweet spot.

[horrorfilmlesbian]

Cardassian Flower Language

As requested by @unholysails here is the meta post about the flower language I invented in my garashir amesia fic A Difference In Perspective.

(I will note is contradicted by beta canon slightly but it's fic adjacent and I can do what I want and also I didn't read that particular book until AFTER I finished this).

Notably, in a desert climate, I think giving someone flowers would be a very special gesture*, almost analogous to the fruit gift culture in Japan in some ways

(*this is sort of canon in A Stitch In Time too where Garak grows edosian orchids to trade, so I'm taking that detail and running with it)

Garden culture too is a status thing - the more flowers you have growing, the better placed you are in society. Parks and gardens are a luxury, especially if it's a private one.

Anyway, the important part - colours! Basically:

Blue = passion (romantic/sexual)

White = loyalty, dedication (platonic)

Yellow = love (romantic)

Orange = steadfast commitment, marriage

Pink = sorrow, condolences, sympathy

Red = friendship, appreciation

Purple = purity, familial love

Green = thanks, gratitude, congratulations

(no black because there aren't really any true black flowers in nature and yes this is a scifi universe but I was mostly focusing on a palette that was in contrast to human ones)

Below the cut is a sort of essay about why each colour is what it is and how these tie into Cardassian culture at large. Also some notes about Garak's own logic for giving Julian a Yellow/Orange bouquet in the fic.

Importantly, I think earth tones (shades of orange, yellow, red and green) reflect things like steadfast commitment. Since desert = home, then comparing your love to these things means you're completely committed to them as I see Cardassians are quite proud of their home and these things are basically a way to compare your lover to the one thing you love above all else (or are supposed to, anyway)

Blue is obvious as a sexy sort of colour, since there's that quite popular headcanon (I don't believe it's strictly supported by any alpha or beta canon, but prove me wrong) that Cardassians blush blue, so much like how red is a bit of sexy colour in human cultures, so is blue here.

Other jewel tones are about expressing sentiment, the big gift giving ones that mean you really cared enough to source something bright and colourful for someone you care about. Flashy and a bit more temporary. Which is why blue is more of a ~sexy colour as opposed to being the more serious romantic colour.

A fun fact is that gay Cardassians have taken on blue flowers as a bit of a symbol, much like Oscar Wilde and his green carnations. The idea is that they wear these sort of sexual, flagrant symbols as a means of identifying each other in a secret code. In defiance of the State* they show themselves as equally worth the love they share with each other.

As an aside, Garak would not give Julian blue flowers because they're far more of a "you're hot/" kind of vibe (think a valentine's gift to a crush sort of thing) and he really didn't want to make his lover think he was just in it for sex! He really wanted to prove he was #serious about their relationship.

*going with the Una McCormack based idea that Cardassian society is super family-focused and kind of homophobic and rigid in a lot of ways pre-collapse/Fire (dominion war). Like they're super family focused and value unions that create families above all else, as "unproductive" unions are seen as inferior because they don't produce children.

I do also have a whole separate thing about "green marriages" which is basically Cardassian lavender marriages but reskinned for their cultural context. But that's neither here nor there, just another detail in my intricate web of Cardassian cultural ideas.

[storkmuffin]

J'accuse 1N2D encore! (Lemon Drop Edition)

I enjoy 1N2D content in general, or thought I did, until I had a run in with the episode where an editor's bias got too obvious on behalf of San. The set up for this series is especially hard on Mingi, because it requires acting out famous scenes from famous KBS(?) dramas, or games of speed. Mingi didn't fare that much better this outing - they reduced the pro-San flailing, but Mingi still suffered (I made a separate post).

I'm not sure how fun it was, actually, as far as content goes, but it revealed a lot anyway. I think that Ateez always just do best when it's their own content, and for various reasons have a hard time coping with this StudioK type of setup overall. It doesn't really show any of them in a great light, you know?

Production Quality was a Miss.

Dressing them up in hanbok was a cute idea. I approve. But. They didn't do anything with the hanbok set up in terms of coordinating with the hair and make up, so this group of boys who are famously all ethnically and legally Koreans using their real names look like underprepared tourists wearing someone else's national costume. I especially hate Yunho's hair, followed by Mingi's flop-a-thon situation.

The other problem is the lighting set up. The director of photography for this needs to forfeit their salary. This is exactly the lighting set up and angle that any beginner amateur photography book tells you to never place your subjects. The merciless sunlight pounding down at the top of their heads as they all squint and sweat in the heat and glare - this is almost an anti-fan set up. Nobody looks good like this. It's only because all of these guys are exceptionally handsome that you get any sort of result that isn't painful to view. What the hell? This is their sixth appearance, and this is the best you can do for them?

Every time any of them go in the shade, they all go, OMG It's so cool here.

The Group's Dynamics

Oh the way that Ateez are now considered old-timers, able to take on the old-timer mantle is bittersweet. The lead speaker among the invisible women who run this show start out trying to tease the group - I feel like I'm a 9th member of your team- and is met with very bland responses - sure, come on in, stand in the center, show your face- and then doesn't know what to do with that. Hongjoong teases her gently, saying, Oh, you must've recently done content with newbies! You're going to find us harder to deal with. (Once again - terrible light conditions, terrible photo result, and with a face as pretty and photogenic as HongJoong's! What the hell).

And they go on to just be viciously rough with each other. Wooyoung acted upset last outing about not being given the opening comment line, so they give it to him this time. Mingi, Yunho and Jongho loudly say that they should not show him the cue card. They let him reference it, but Wooyoung fucks up anyway, and then Seonghwa and Hongjoong pile on while Wooyoung looks like he got pooped on by a bird. Wooyoung also gets piled on for not dyeing his roots. Mingi gets in a swipe about, How come you didn't do your hair? 1N2D is important.

Ateez are entirely distracted (or maybe cringing away from each other) throughout the attempts to deliver acting lines, such that variuosly, Hongjoong, Yunho and Mingi need to corrall the others into providing the silence necessary for clean footage.

THE PARENTS

Yunho and his Mom: Yunho is just like his mother. This surprised me, because in TokToqs he's said that he takes after his father - physically and personality-wise - and that Gunho, his younger brother, who is (according to Yunho) cuter and more appealing and much more fussed over by his parents (yeah, he was obviously jealous as he denied feeling jealousy for his brother btw), All the things I find oddball about him, she has. She answers the phone toughly: "What. Son?" And when he says the fancy schmancy, 아침 문안 드리겠습니다. (I respectfully submit my morning greetings to you) she immediately quips back, "Who are you?" Yunho laughs and can only muster a "No no!" His mother also has that voice-over actor voice, plummy tones, slightly unnatural. This must be his actual inherited vocal tone. Also? Yunho's mom sounds really rich lol. And the urge to never ever back down from a challenge, Yunho must also get from his mom. Because she knows she's on air, and he says something that is really touchy feely and uncommon - Thank You For Giving Me Life. It's both filial (up to a point) and nice (as always) but it's kind of an ambush too. Yunho's mom can't let Yunho win, so she one ups him: It Was a Joy To Give Birth To You. Her son? KO'ed. Damn, lady.

Wooyoung and his Mom have a best-girlfriends vibe. What the heck. LOL. He gets the quick witted, fast-talking thing from her too.

Wooyoung being mistaken for Hongjoong by Mingis' mom and being so disappointed.

Mingi and his Mom. She unintentionally gets Wooyoung back (for being pretty mean to Mingi throughout this episode) SO GOOD because he doesn't bother trying to trick her with his voice, but she can't identify him. Mingi seems moved that she knows the title of his solo single, which is sweet, but again it's one of these weird Mingi self-owns. How chilly is it between you and your mom that you'd be surprised?? But is it chilly?? Because his mom knows his career pretty well! What is going ON?

San and his dad: San naturally falls into dialect when he talks to his father, and I loved that Wooyoung calls San's dad 아빠. Being very cutely, confidently wrong is something San must get from his Dad. That was very hilarious.

Yeosang and his dad: I was actually pretty thrilled that Mr. Kang appeared. There's only a few stories that Yeosang has ever told about his parents, and they aren't terribly nice. One is that he fought with his father so fiercely over his desire to be an entertainer that he ran away from home to make his point, that he intended to exercise control and agency over his own life or he'd stop having a relationship with his father. The other is that his parents wanted him to stay in school. But Yeosang's father, on this outing, is proud of his son's beauty and knows a lot about his career, enough to do quite well on a keyword speed quiz. That makes me happy to see.

In red, HJ's mother to Yunho: Why did you do that to me? Yunho: [freaking out.]

The most normal (as in, familiar and normal to me) parent-child chats were between Hongjoong, Seonghwa and their mothers. Oh and I especially enjoyed Hongjoong's girlishly giggly mother telling off Yunho for playing a vocal trick on her, and his bouncing up and down on his butt in distress at taking it too far with a grown up. LOL.

and ps: Just in terms of looks? San really should be in a Korean costume drama. Omg his face.

[catwomanarchive]

I love your post about her pragmatism. what's another aspect of her you would like writers to dive into more?

i want these writers to be able to admit that selina is selfish 😭 selina already has pre-existing character flaws. you don’t need to give her new ones just to keep her separated from bruce. bruce and selina have enough reasons to not be together outside of people inventing stuff about her randomly becoming a crime boss every 5 years just to sufficiently villainize her so that bruce can “fight” her. selina is a character who isn’t generous or maternal out of the sheer goodness of her heart. her moments of altruism are reserved for people she genuinely connects with and sees herself in, like sex workers who suffered the same plight as her. she is willing to let the world burn just to save the few people she truly cares about. she’s someone who wants to indulge in the luxury that her criminal lifestyle provides her.

this is why injustice to me has one of the best understandings of batcat despite the wonky worldbuilding: selina going behind bruce’s back because she knows realistically he can never defeat evil!superman and asking evil!superman to instead spare the man she loves? in character. that’s the type of move that selina would do that would create a chasm in between bruce and selina because bruce would be shaken by her lack of faith in him. while i feel the dynamic could’ve been better handled by writers & i hate how the video game adaptation characterized them, it still has a lot of potential to be picked apart.

selina’s selfishness is also why i disagree with the idea that she would want to openly be an activist for any cause, i think she’s politically very passive and only utilizes these causes when it suits her needs because she wants to survive. making her an anti capitalist vehicle for events like gotham war makes no sense, selina’s not interested in wielding power over others nor is she interested in reducing crime rates or helping random thugs steal. she’s someone who knows that crime isn’t inherent to a specific group of people and that anyone can become a criminal due to circumstance.