#you can't see it but my hair stick today is a sword

[siriusleee]

Like Blood on Iron | Part 7

Historical Executioner AU Summary: The executioner has always been an enigma to you - drawing you in. His sword drawing a line in the dirt as he made his way to the village center, and leaving back to his cottage on the outskirts of town. However, your curiosity can't stop the future your family has planned for you.

A/N: Two in a week? Who am I? I wrote most of this today, and should have just waited until my regularly scheduled days to post, but I couldn't.

If you like this fic, consider sending a dollar on ko-fi.

You would recognize his silhouette in a hurricane. Wet hair plastered to your forehead and rain dripping in your eyes doesn't disturb the image of him waiting for you down the now mud swamped road. You push your hood off of your head, trying to let him know to come to you, to come speak to you, but instead he turns and disappears into the narrow alleys between the small shops and houses. 

You should go inside; you can tell from the twitch of the curtains that someone is watching you - watched Jonathan kiss you on the cheek and walk off. You know whoever it is: Mother, Father, Maggie - they're waiting for you to come inside from the stinking rain that's pelting your skin. They're crowded around the window wondering why you won't move. 

You run after him, slipping and sliding in the mud that clings to your skin and coats you in a thin sheen. You can barely make out the edge of his cloak whipping around corners in a seemingly nonsense pattern, always too far away from you for you to catch up. It's not until you emerge at the edge of the village, overlooking the cove that you realize where he's gone. 

You slide down the rocks, scraping your shins, your palms, the back of your thighs against the rough rocks as the rain makes them too slick to catch a grip on. Blood mixing with the rain and the mud, you crash into the sand, dress torn to shreds. Just another to end up shoved in the back of the closet where questions can't reach it. 

Simon's a black mass against the dark sand, a tornado in his own right as the wind pulls his cloak away from his body, whipping it into terrifying shapes - the monster the rest of the village thinks he is. The mask is gone, for the first time you see him bare outside of the safety of his own home. The cross scar shines pale against the rest of his skin, the moon still bright enough through the clouds to illuminate him. 

"Simon!" Your voice is carried away from you by the wind. You don't know if he hears you or knows that you'd follow as he turns toward you. 

He doesn't reach out to you, the reflex you've gotten so used to him showing around you as you come to a stop beside him, your own cloak pulling painfully against you in the wind. 

"Shouldn't you be inside?"

He speaks so low you're not sure if you actually hear him. 

"What?"

"You don't need to be out here in this; you're getting married soon. You don't want to be sick."

His words are like a kick in the stomach - not just the what he's said, but the way he speaks to you. Even from the first time here on the beach, he'd never spoken so flat - so empty to you. There had always been something so uniquely Simon in his voice. But now - this is how he must speak to those knelt down in front of him, waiting for his sword to swing. How he must have sounded to Uncle Henry when he knelt down to whisper to him. 

"Simon it wasn't - it was just a kiss on the cheek. It wasn't anything important."

"It should have been more."

The feeling of it all: his words, the cloak tugging at your neck, the rain and mud sticking to your skin, the burning in your palms, it's too much.

"What did you say?"

Simon doesn't look at you as he speaks, his hands held tightly behind his back, eyes watching the waves that crash heavy on the horizon. 

"He's going to be your husband. You should have been sneaking off with him - you should have followed him. It's the right thing."

His skin is ice cold where you grab him on the arm, none of his usual warmth bleeding through the dark fabric of his shirt.

"Simon, please don't say that. I don't want -"

"Go home."

"No."

Simon doesn't shake your arm free, doesn't shove you away, but he might as well with the look in his eyes when he finally looks at you. Bright eyes unusually dark, the circles underneath them nearly black. 

"Why do you keep coming back? There is so much more for you elsewhere."

You can't breathe, you have to clutch his arm to keep yourself grounded or you think you might let the rain wash you out into the sea. He grabs you, hands warm while the rest of him is freezing. 

"We can dream all we want, but I've got nothing for you but a shack in the woods and a life full of being shunned."

"Better that with you than anything with anyone else."

He's heaving beneath your touch, trying to keep himself from unraveling everything that he's packed so small inside. He doesn't want to speak what he's thinking of: you can see it written in the corners of his eyes, in the wrinkles of worry you're not sure you've ever seen before. 

"You say that now. But what about when you want a family?" His voice is pained at the thought. 

"You are my family."

"This life isn't enough for you, even if you refuse to see it yourself," his grip on you turns bruising - harder than he's ever held you, even when you begged for harder. "I will not be responsible for seeing you suffer in the coming years because you thought you loved me. You told me you wanted to leave and travel - I can't do that with you here."

"I do love you."

You're begging; you will get on your knees to beg if it makes him stop talking to you like this, to stop holding you like he's never going to get the chance to do it ever again. But there's iron in his eyes, and your blood on his skin, and you know that this is it. 

He doesn't have to tell you he loves you - not like when he whispered it into your skin or when he would braid your hair into tangles in the early mornings. It rolls off of him as he pushes you back, mouth capturing yours. He tastes like the rain and something bitter, something you've never tasted on him before. 

You trip over a divot in the sand, but Simon catches you, pulling you up so that your legs wrap around his waist. He walks the two of you back until you're sheltered by the rocks that form the ledge above. 

The rocks dig into your back, but you don't feel them as Simon hitches up your skirts around you. This time it's different - there is no gentleness in the way he takes you; not like all the other times before. The rain covers the two of you, and you know this is the last time. The last time you'll taste him or feel the thick calluses of his fingers on the back of your thigh. 

And when the two of you cross the ending together, he doesn't pull out to spill himself anywhere but inside of you. He pushes you harder against the rocks, keeping himself buried inside of you until he can't stay any longer. 

You can feel the scratches on your back stinging from the rain, and you hope they never stop - one of the last reminders of Simon you know you're ever going to get. 

He doesn't kiss you when he settles you onto the ground, doesn't kiss you as he straightens the tattered and torn edges of your skirt back down, fingers chaste against the soaked and ruined fabric. He doesn't speak as he holds your face in his hands, thumbs brushing the water from your cheeks and you don't know if it's rain or tears, but you're sure he does. 

You don't know if it's the rain or the sorrow that stops your feet from working, but Simon, strong as he always has been, carries you home on his back - a caricature of all the times you've been in his arms before. His boot kicking against the front door is thunderous on the darkened street. 

Father doesn't ask what's happened when he swings the door open and finds Simon sliding you off of his shoulders; he doesn't ask why your knees buckle or why Mother rushes forward to grab you from Simon, her own hand lingers on Simon's a moment to long before Father whispers a 'thank you' and let's the door slam shut. 

You know by the way her hands cradle you that Mother knows what happened out there in the storm. She doesn't let Father touch you, instead pushing him away and calling for Maggie to help carry you up the stairs. Your mother, always so fastidious about cleanliness and the whiteness of the linens, strips you down to your underdress and tucks you into bed, mud and all, burrowing herself beside you, fingers doing their best to push away the fever that threatens to build at your temple.

"I'm sorry."

I'm sorry.

You're sick for two weeks, fever burning through your skin. You think at times that the blankets around you must be turning into ash. The people beside your bed flicker in and out: Maggie rearranging the sheets around you, Lily pressing a cold washcloth to your forehead. Jonathan reading something in a book to you, his voice rumbling through the house. 

Mother bathing you gently, fingers brushing through your hair, working the tangles out with a comb. 

It's Jonathan at your side when you wake, a book in his hands and his boots tapping heavily on the floor beneath him. The sound shoots straight through your skull.

"Will you stop that?"   

His hand probes at your temple, fingers taking your temperature. You don't even have it in you to push him off, to tell him to go away. The chair someone placed beside your bed creaks under his weight as he slips off of it, book landing heavily on the floor. He drops to his knees beside you so, eyes scanning your face for any sign of the fever coming back.

"How'd you feel?"

He speaks to you like you're a wounded animal, soft and low. Like you'll run at any moment. but there's nowhere to run this time.

"Like I was trampled by a horse."

His chuckle, just a short breath from his nose, washes over the ache in your muscles. 

"I thought you were when I saw you laying here the first time."

He slides his hand beneath the blankets to grab yours, and you let him, welcoming the warmth and roughness against your still frozen skin.

"Did I sleep through our wedding?"

"Unfortunately not. There's still six days for you to be rid of me."

You can't help the hot tears that start to flow from you - Jonathan doesn't ask why as he brushes them away, pulling himself into bed beside you and letting you turn the front of his shirt dark with your own tears. 

"I know love. I'm sorry."

But his warmth isn't enough - isn't a replacement for what you're wishing for.

The dress is beautiful, you think as Maggie's fingers lace the back up gently. In the three weeks you were sick you'd lost so much weight that the stays have to be pulled tighter to form the fabric around yourself than originally intended. You want to apologize to her; this should have been her dress - she is the one who wants to get married. The weight of your disappointment grows heavier as Lily works around Maggie, her fingers pinning your hair up deftly with Grandma's pins. 

You don't recognize yourself when they step away; the white of the dress sparkling back at you in the wavy mirror, blurring your features as you furiously try to blink back the tears that threaten to ruin the entire thing. 

Jonathan had been there every day you'd been sick, but it wasn't the same. You'd wanted to ask him if the dark shroud was outside, if he was there at all. But you couldn't do it. Couldn't bring yourself to know if he wasn't there. 

"It's going to be alright," Maggie soothes, fingers running down the fabric of your shoulders. "And you'll still be close - Jonathan asked Father if Lily and I could come stay with you for a while after the two of you return from your trip."

"I'm not sure my husband would appreciate sharing a bed with the three of us."

Maggie's distorted reflection smiles weakly at you in the mirror; you clasp her hand tightly, hoping the sweat doesn't stain the delicate white fabric. 

A heavy knock reverberates through the house - you feel it shake the floorboards beneath you. 

"I'll get it," Lily says, slipping out of the door, heavy dress swishing around her ankles. You think of her asking you to tighten her dress, of the way she'd smiled at the boy in the market. Soon you'll be getting her ready for her own wedding, and you wonder if she'll consider it a death sentence like you or look forward to it like Maggie. 

Her voice is muffled; you try to focus on it as Maggie ducks beneath your bilious skirts to help you slide your shoes on. You teeter on one foot, and she grabs your calf to try to help you from falling. Lily's feet patter up the steps, and she trips through the door, skirt catching on a snag on the floor.

"There's-" she's breathless from rushing up the stairs, "there's someone here to see you."

You know who it is by the way she stumbles over the word 'somebody'. 

Maggie's warm hand finishes the lacing on your shoe before she emerges from the cloud of skirts around you, hair disheveled. Lily's still staring at you, the thread of her dress connecting her to the floor, to the house you once so desperately tried to escape from. 

Your heart squeezes in your chest; you grip the lace at your wrist hard enough you can feel some of the threads snapping. 

You know it's a horrible idea: to see him now. But you push past Maggie and Lilly, tripping on the skirt as you do your best to keep your balance flying down their stairs. The feeling of him courses through your veins as your feet hit the main landing; but the entryway is empty. Your stomach sinks; he must have left, must have -

"You look beautiful."

Simon stares at you from the kitchen doorway; hands clasped behind his back. He's devoid of his usual mask; pale skin exposed to the world. His eyes are dark, the skin around them gaunt and sleep deprived. You long to reach out and grab him, but you keep your hands to yourself. He looks so much like he did that night in the cove. The scratches against your back have healed up, but you can still feel them pulsing just below the surface. 

"What are you doing here?" You ask, trying and failing to keep your voice steady. 

"I wanted to see you again before I couldn't again."

A thousand wild thoughts course through you: this wouldn't have to end the two of you. You could still see each other, in secret; you would do anything to keep him, but you know what his answer to it would be. How he would shake his head, and tell you it's impossible. 

And you know that, despite however you may feel, Jonathan doesn't deserve that level of cruelty, not after nursing you back to life for the past three weeks, not after kneeling at your bedside and brushing away tears he knew didn't belong to him. 

"Why today? You could have come to see me days ago."

"I wanted a glimpse into a different life."

It's not sadness that flows through you; the fever burnt that out of you weeks ago. Now it's anger like you've never felt: the anger that you know takes over Mother when she smashes things against the wall in her and Father's room. The anger that takes her over when she makes the walls rattle in her wake. 

"This is cruel, and you know it."

Simon has the good graces to not meet your eyes as he shifts, boots covered in a thick layer of dust. 

"I know."

"I thought you wanted me to forget you."

In the distance the church bell tolls, timing the hour. The minutes to your wedding tick down, waiting for the sun to fully set before Father comes to get you to escort you there. And Simon in front of you wears down whatever resolve that you had to get yourself there.

"I think I'm too selfish for that."

"I wish you were."

He chews on the inside of his cheek, and you know if you were to kiss him right now, you'd taste the iron of his blood. 

"I would still run away with you, if you asked right now."

"We've got nowhere to run to."

"That doesn't bother me."

A sharp staccato of a knock on the door breaks the spell between the two of you. You linger, waiting for Simon to say something else, but the knocking increases, pulling you away from him. 

Simon takes advantage of you walking away to try to slip out the backdoor. The small courtyard is covered in leaves, they crunch heavily beneath his booted feet. The sound of the door opening back up behind him pulls his attention away from the path home. 

He doesn't turn to look back, but he cowardly hopes it's your voice that calls out to him from the doorway. But it's not.

"You're just going to run away? You're not even going to fight for her?"

Maggie stares at him from the shut doorway, all acerbic and sharp edges - the opposite of you. Simon feels like the look in eyes is enough to set him on fire from shame. 

"She deserves better than me; better than a life on the run."

"Who are you to decide what my sister deserves?"

She walks quickly, heels sharp against the cobblestones. Simon thinks she's going to hit him. He would deserve it; he can tell by the way her fingers curl that it would hurt. 

"My sister," Maggie says, nearly whispering at him in the biting air, "could do worse than Jonathan. I had to beg my father and mother to not marry her off to some of the men they had in mind. But she deserves more than just being someone's wife for the rest of her life."

She cuts Simon off sharply when he tries to speak.

"My sister would run to the farthest edges of the earth to be with you - to see the world with you."

She leaves him there, the wind cutting through him, slamming the door shut hard enough behind her to rattle the windows and the wood. 

tag list: @silverianni, @milfs4lifee, @koi-feish, @shirabeastly, @pookie90, @ghostlythot, @hearts4sky, @crystallizedtime, @the-worlds-tempest, @myconglomerateromance, @elena-ph, @chaoticgoblindev, @pipocfamily, @canadianmilkbag, @caspertheassholeghost, @2512121morningstar, @glitterypirateduck, @elli0t3r, @clairdelunelove, @captainprice4life, @generaldestinychild, @crowsjourney, @c0pernicus, @wistfullyhypomanic, @arbesa-mind, @ray-rook, @daisyfrubies, @september-22-1996

[twobirdsflytogether]

@mcyt-yuri-week day 2; royal/knight

Short fic; 435 words

Ship; q! Love birds (qJaiden/qBaghera)

Fic below ⬇️

Baghera fiddled with her sword as she waited to be summoned. Today she was officially becoming a knight, assigned to the Prince of Parrots and the king's advisor themself! She'd never met the royal, they had a tendency to blend in, to hide away from most, or even to simply wander off and explore the country in plain clothes, rumored to have mastery of the scythe and enjoy risks. Head snapping out of thought to attention when she hears a guard call her name, taking a deep breath she approaches the door.

The guards open them and she enters the throne room. On an imposing throne sat the golden shark king Foolish, above a shadow figure sat on top of the throne, to the side sat the known royal siblings Roier and Leo(a young dragon). A rather small dragon sits on Roier's lap, Pepito. Running around were 3 more dragons Bobby, Richarlyson, and Empanada, following them was Prince Roier's husband, the royal archivist and investigator Cellbit.

Baghera approaches the throne, bowing to her king, flaring her similarly golden wings slightly. Lifting her eyes to see the king smirk before the serious air around the man cracks and he starts laughing. Telling to raise her head, no need to bow. Hesitantly she relaxes her stance and introduces herself as the knight apprentice assigned to the POP. Upon saying that she sees the shadow shift, wings with hues of blue and purple being revealed before the familiar sound of a wing beat sounds off.

The shadowed figure landing directly in front of her, she feels her face warm. Looking at the Prince, large wings framing their body, tail calmly swishing behind them, cat ears flicking about with anticipation, clearly defined muscles, oddly styled yet beautiful blue hair. The person, who she was 100% going to bet is the Prince of parrots, was the most gorgeous person she'd ever laid eyes on. The prince looks at her, with vibrant purple eyes and white pupils, and smiles softly. Baghera, before she can think, says “you are the most gorgeous person I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. I can't wait to get to know you better”. Gathering some baffled looks, prince Roier off on the side clearly covering his laughs.

Coughing, and sticking her hand out, “Salut mon prince, I am knight apprentice Baghera.”

The prince shakes their head, blushing, takes her hand, “Hello Dame Baghera. I am Jaiden, Prince of Parrots” leaning closer to the duck knight and whispering “I can't wait to get to know you too”, pulling away with a wink.

[creativestorylove]

Was that what dying felt like?

Harsh working noises woke me up the next morning. Water was dripping from rotten edges of wood. It was raining. Quietly, I streched from my fetus sleeping position. My mind wandered back to the palace. I didn't know what time it was, but I was sure that Lucius would be up already. At the breakfast table, he would ask around where I was. If I was still sick or why I was gone. His mother would caress his head and be happy that I was out of the way. The emperor wouldn't know it yet. He was always in his studies working since he gave up trying to sleep at dawn. I sighed and sat up. Doubt grew in my head, and when I saw that someone came up the ladder, I silently cursed at myself for being so stupid.

"What are you doing here?" an old man with a ragged hat asked. "I- I...I'm gone already. I'm sorry," I stuttered and jumped down into hay, evading the ladder and the man. "Hey! Girl! Wait!" he called, not sounding angry. That fact let me stop and turn around. "Don't go outside today. The streets are full of praetorians. They're searching for someone important, I guess." He came down the ladder and laid his hand on my shoulder. "Don't mess with them, avoid them, or they'll make short work of you." I detailed him. I didn't know why he was so nice to me, but I nodded and touched his hand on my shoulder, thanking him. A greasy smile with some black teeth in his mouth appeared, and the atmosphere turned from nice to filthy. His hand wandered to my butt and I shied away. "Get your hands off me!" I shouted, disgusted. "Don't you want to stay in my barn?" he asked slyly. "Not under these circumstances! Get away from me!" I shied backward again as he came near me slowly. Shivers went down my spine, and I fled outside, running into 4 praetorians. First, one of them pushed me away, causing me to fall down into the wet dirt. Then another helped me up. "This is the woman we're searching for! Let's go back."

Thunder rumbled through the streets, and heavy rain fell when they dragged me back into the direction of the imperial palace. On the way, they divided themselves. Two were accompanying me, and the others were spreading the word that they found me. My hair was sticking to my face, and I felt like I looked. Dirty.

Back at the entrance, Lucius and his uncle were waiting for me. As we arrived, the praetorians pushed me on my knees, holding my head up pulling my hair back. With teary eyes I faced them.

"Why did you run away, Serena?" asked Lucius and hugged his uncle. He glanced down at me coldy. I felt like my blood froze in every vein of my body.

"Say goodbye to this slave, Lucius." the emperor demanded shortly and swapped looks with his praetorians. They pulled me up to my feet and began to drag me away. "No, please! Lucius!" I screamed, fighting them. Lucius looked at his uncle, shocked and ran after us. "No! Don't kill her! She's my friend!" After seconds, I stopped fighting because it was in vain. I heard Lucius running next to the guards, sobbing. "Go back into the palace! This isn't for little boys like you!" commanded the left one. "Don't kill her! Please!" Lucius sobbed, trying to keep up the quick pace of the guards. He pulled on the cape of the left one so that he had to stop walking. "No, please don't!" pleaded the Ceasars nephew, getting wet from the rain. "Command is command. We can't let her go. The only one who can do that is the ceasar himself. Stop pestering me and let us do our work!" Lucius looked at me insistently and then ran away back to the palace. I started fighting against them again with everything I had. "Shit, she's strong!" cursed the other to my right and held me closer, turning my arm up my back. I started to cry as we went away from the entrance. I couldn't see where we were heading. After a while, we stopped, and I was pushed in the sand again. Before I could turn around, I heard one of the men pulling his sword out of the sheath. I cried, kneeling down, the two men behind me. I heard them stepping behind me and holding the sword up. Shivering, wet, and defeated, I thought about the Ceasar. His gaze, his touch, his attitude. Every moment with him went by a last time. Hyperventilating, I closed my eyes to get the dizziness away. Like in trance, I heard myself breathing heavily but nothing else. I didn't even hear the rain. Was that what dying was like? Losing senses one after another?

Suddenly, a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me up. Blinking, I looked up and was pulled against a cold, wet chest armor. These arms held me tightly, almost crushing me. I felt air leaving my lungs, not being able to breathe in again. My heart pounded heavily and signed me to fight for my life again. Then my senses came back. I felt my hands again, I saw clearly and I heard voices again.

"Don't touch her. I changed my mind." I saw the imperial insignia, noble clothes. Now I knew who held me.

Feeling my oxygen levels getting low, I gasped for air. "Uncle! Let her go!" called Lucius next to us, sounding worried.

Instantly, the young Ceasar let go of me but held me anyway. I couldn't look at him because he held me so close. I took a deep breath and relaxed a bit.

"My Ceasar, it's dangerous being undecided." said the praetorian and put his sword away.

"Don't you ever question my ability to decide again, or my next decision will be your end," the emperor replied, hissing, not letting go of me. Instead, while he answered, his grip grew tighter again. "Yes, my Highness." The two guards went away.

I felt Lucius' arm around my back, and I heard him crying. This sound made the young emperor let go of me. I met his gaze. His green eyes looked troubled, worried, stressed, angry, and annoyed at the same time. I turned around, hugging Lucius, comforting him. I never heard such crying from him. "You're wet, get inside," grunted the young Ceasar coldly and made his way into the palace.

@darknessisafriend

[enchantedlandcoffee]

I was tagged by @justahappycloud to share the first line of my wips! there's a few so bear with me 😅

Tagging (no pressure) @lunarheslwt @hellolovers13 @greeneyesfriedrice @babyhoneyheslt and @itsnotreal

two hearts in one home

“That’s it for today, everyone! Thank you so, so much for watching. I appreciate every single one of you. If you enjoyed today’s video as much as I did, hit that subscribe button if you haven’t already and give this video a big thumbs up. For Sunday’s video-”

bloodline of queens

“I’m going to get you.” Harry yelled as he chased an older boy around the room. Tripping over furniture and rugs, the other boy dodged his grasp and slid under the table, crawling into the cupboard behind it. Harry stalked towards the cupboard, attempting to muffle his giggles before throwing the doors open.

tied up like two ships (seven seas of Harry and Louis fest)

An incessant knocking sound woke Harry from his slumber, the noise a big contrast to the lulling crash of the waves. He leapt out of his bed quickly, grabbing his sword and throwing the door open to reveal- "Tomlinson?"

running over thoughts that make my feet hurt (sports fest)

“Come on, team! You got this!” Louis yelled, clapping his hands as he watched his team manoeuvre the ball across the field. He did a quick mental count of the players in blue, scrunching his face in confusion as he came up a player short.

my favourite mistake (title and trope)

This is not how he thought his day would go. Sat on the floor of his bathroom as he stared at a little plus sign on a stick in his hands.

would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"We can't keep doing this, Haz. Sooner or later we're gonna break. And I love you too much to let you hurt like that." Louis whispered, pressing his forehead against the younger man's.

even my phone misses your call

Harry flicked through the photos that he had captured, thumbing his bottom lip as he mused over his selection. He had been partaking in a photography fest on his tumblr and was in the process of selecting photo number 24 - an object that represents you.

feel my traces

Harry loved this corner of the University's library. It was quiet enough for him to concentrate but he could still hear the muffled flicking of book pages and scratching of pens. The light streaming from the windows was just bright enough for him to see what he was writing but not too bright to blind him. No one ever disturbed him here, everyone carrying on with their own assignments and minding their own business.

on the pull

Harry sat at the dimly lit bar, one hand nervously fidgeting either his sleeve as he checked the time. 6.54pm "6 more minutes," he mumbled to himself, pushing his hair out of his face as the bartender appeared in front of him.

[eclair16]

001 Secrets

A light breeze brushed through your hair as you strolled through the streets of Kakariko. It was already late afternoon; earlier you had helped bring Cado's chickens to their coop. This was by no means the easiest task. That's why your hair was messy, some branches were hanging out, and your knees were full of scars. But you loved helping out in the village and making yourself useful, since you were currently just a drag in the war against the calamity. However, you wanted to change that.

"Hey there!" called an all-too-familiar voice. It was Tabari, your best friend. "Hello Ari, you're late, how was training?" you asked while giving the sheika boy a quick hug. His chestnut brown eyes lit up as he excitedly showed you his new tricks. "That looks very cool, your skills are improving so fast" you said impressed, this was followed by a sad sigh. You formed a fist "do you think I'll be that good someday?". Tabari put a hand on your shoulder "Of course, let's go to the mountain and I'll teach you everything right away! If you had a good teacher like me, you would already be better than me" he laughed.

After you both went into the small adjacent forest, you knelt down in front of a large stone, you slowly moved it aside and took out the wooden chest hidden under it. Inside was a bow with matching arrows. Impa strictly forbade you to fight or to practice, as well as to leave the village. "Let's see if I can still do it" the you giggled, "in the last few days we never had the chance to practice, we used to do it soon every day".

"And another 10 points for the bow champion" you celebrated cheerfully. Tabari looked annoyed, perhaps because it was the eighteenth time in a row that he had lost. "Let's stop for today and start sword fighting" he suggested and took two sticks of equal length, one he gave to you and the other he kept for himself. "Come on, 18 is a stupid number, 20 would have been much nicer" you rolled her eyes and put yourself in a fighting pose. "One, two and three" the white haired one yelled as he charged, indicating a punch. You saw through the tactic immediately and tripped the boy, but before you could do that you were already on the ground. The tip of the stick scratched at your neck.

"You're good, but way too slow" laughed Tabari, extending a hand to you. You took it gratefully and patted the dirt off your clothes. After stowing the utensils back in the chest him and you slowly walked back to the village. Tabari had his hands clasped behind his head and was chewing on a stalk of grass. "You look like an old billy goat!" you teased him. Before he could say anything back you continued "Sooo it's 1 to 1, so I guess we'll decide the game in a race to see who gets to the pond first!". "That's not fair!" yelled Ari, but you had already started running.

When he arrived, he saw you already leaning against a tree, waiting for him. "You're good but way too slow" you grinned. Out of breath, he just laughed in response and dropped to the ground. It had gotten dark and the warm lights were shining, setting the scene perfectly for the statue, which illustrates an angel. Silence reigned, but it was not at all uncomfortable. Tabari's expression had softened, but there was something on his mind, as if he wanted to say something.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked softly. Your e/c observed every little detail of his face. "Nothing" he replied with a little pause. "There is something off about you, don't fool me" yousaid energetically. "It's just..., I'll be gone for a while, I was ordered to deliver a pair of goods to Lurelin Village" he explained. Your pupils widened, you had never seen him like this before. You took his hand and gave it a squeeze, "Can't I come with you?". His voice trembled as he answered her "you know that's not possible".

"Why not?" you protested, "You, Impa and even Paya are hiding something from me, why can't I leave the village? I don't even belong here, who knows, maybe I would find my family". You already regretted your words, but you had wanted to point these things out for a long time. And something in Tabaris tone of voice triggered your feelings towards your inner conflict.

"Your time will come and now you have to go home, Impa is probably worried about where you are" said the boy as he stood up. "No why don't you answer me, why can't I come with you? Am I too weak, tell me!" tears ran down your cheeks as you stood up and looked questioningly at your best friend. He cupped his hand around your cheek and said seriously "You are not too weak Y/n...". Without another word he left her and disappeared into the darkness.

Confused and a little bit angry you walked back home. You climbed up the stairs, step by step, trying to be a quiet as possible. Luckily you made it to your bed without getting in trouble, well for now. "Why are they so secretive about me leaving the village? I mean of course the calamity is dangerous but I can't even go to Hateno. It can't be because I'm too bad at protecting myself, since children that are a way younger than me are joining the travels too" you overthink while looking at your left hand.

You always had wanted to know where you got that sign from, it was a downturned triangle, which was in the center of the back of your hand. You always had to cover it up, when you were  outside the house because Impa said so, as a child you would always question it but at sometime you forgot about it.

After not coming up with an answer to all your questions, you decided to sleep. Gently your e/c eyes closed and you fell asleep.

___

[bleachanimefan1]

Bleach Shadow Redux Part 7

A Reason to Fight,

Akari woke up from her futon bed and stretched her arms with pieces of her messy locks sticking to her face, yawning after a good night's sleep. She debated on whether or not to wear her former shihakusho over her new updated version. It was against dress code, but it was her favorite and was easier to move around in. She slipped on her old uniform and brushed her bed hair until it was neat and put it back into a high ponytail. She walked over and grabbed her zanpakuto which was resting against the wall and looked at it for a moment, silently. She strapped the sword on her side through the sash of her shihakusho and left her room, closing the sliding door behind her.

She headed towards the captain's barracks. Excited but also a little nervous. Today was the day she had planned to fight him. But what if he loses control again? Akari stopped in front of the doors and slid it open to find an empty room until her eyes laid upon the little Lieutenant who was laying on the floor, drawing. Yachiru looked up and smiled when she saw Akari and stood up and walked over to Akari, wheeling her zanpakuto behind her.

"Hey, tomato head! Are you here to see Kenny?" Yachiru smiled, happily.

"Yeah, I guess. Is he around?" Akari asked. Yachiru smiled dropped a little.

"Sorry to break it to you, but Kenny stepped out for a bit." 

"Oh, I guess I can go find Ikkaku or Yumichika. I'll fight him another time." Akari replied. "Can you let him know that I stopped by?"

"Yeah, sure I will!" Yachiru nodded. Akari smiled and thanked her and was about to walk away to head towards the training room.

"Do you love him?" Akari's eyes widen in shock and took a step back caught off guard by the Lieutenant's question.

"W-What!?" She sputtered.

"Kenny!" Yachiru smiled. "Do you love him?"

"Yes, I do. He is going to be my captain and he is pretty interesting." Akari told her. 

"Really!?" Yachiru beamed at her. "That's great! Not many people ask to see him."

"What do you mean?" Akari asked, wondering.

"He can be a bit intimidating which can scare people away. Other than Ichi, it looks like he finally found someone worth fighting for once. I'm going to go see the other captains! See you later, tomato head!" Yachiru smiled and before Akari could say anything the Lieutenant quickly sped off. Akari blinked, surprised by the little girl's speed. Then she headed over to the training room to see Ikkaku, with half of his uniform down and tied to his waist revealing his chest and abs, sparring with some of the members with a wooden sword. Yumichika was sitting down watching him. Akari walked into the room, catching some of the members attention.

"Hey, Ikkaku, are you ready for our fight?" Akari asked him. Ikkaku smacked his sword across his opponent's face, and he fell to the floor, groaning in pain. He finally noticed Akari when she walked over and grinned.

"Right now?" Akari nodded.

"Okay, but not here. Come on, I've got a better place we can go to." He told her, putting his shihakusho back in place and tied his sash back on. Akari looked at him confused.

"I'm going to come along to see this." Yumichika smiled. Ikkaku, Akari and Yumichika left the barracks and Ikkaku led Akari towards another training ground of some sorts further away from the Soul Society. Yumichika took a seat on a rock.

"Why did you take me out here?" Akari asked Ikkaku.

"Well, you have bankai and I want us to unleash our full potential." He said, pulling out his zanpakuto.

"Do you have bankai as well?" Akari asked.

"Since you trust us with your secret, I'm going to tell you mine. Yes, I do have a bankai. You can never tell anyone about this." He told her.

"How come?"

"Because if word gets out that I can do bankai, I'll never hear the end of it. It is one of the steps to become a captain, if one should choose to do so. I don't want that. I want to fight under Captain Zaraki until the day I die." Ikkaku explained.

"But can't you just say no?" Akari asked him.

"Yeah, but I'll be constantly asked. It'll be annoying." Ikkaku said.

"I won't tell." Akari told him. Ikkaku smirked.

"That's good to hear. Now let's see who's the STRONGEST!" he roared. "Bankai! Ryumon Hozukimaru!" Ikkaku staff began to transform, growing bigger until they turned into a Chinese monk spade and Guandao with red hair tassel at the hilt, all connect to a heavy chain linking to Ikkaku's back was a large ax with a dragon on it.

"Eager to get our shirts off already, are we?" Akari teased, smiling.

"It's not like that!" Ikkaku shouted.

"Bankai, Ryujin Hebimaru!" Akari pulled out her sword and released her bankai. The two quickly darted toward each other. Ikkaku swung one of his large blades at Akari. She quickly deflected with one of her flame shields. Her feet skidded on the dirt as she was pushed back. When Akari glanced back towards Ikkaku she saw that he was no longer in front of her. A dark shadow began to form below her and Akari quickly looked up to see Ikkaku coming down on her fast. Akari quickly flashed stepped, dodging from the blades as they came crashing down to the ground where she once stood. She appeared in front of Ikkaku bringing her sword down so fast he barely had any time to block it. While she was striking at him, repeatedly, Akari noticed the dragon behind Ikkaku's back was glowing red, almost half full. She jumped back, gaining some space.

"What's with that dragon of yours?" she questioned. Ikkaku smirked.

"So, you really want to know?" He began to spin his zanpakuto round and round above his head. The dragon began to slowly rise until it was completely full. Akari's eyes widen when she felt a sudden rise of reiatsu coming off from Ikkaku, giving off a red aura. It was strong. Really strong!

"Once this dragon gets completely full, my bankai becomes fully awaken."

"Awaken?" Akari questioned.

"Hozukimaru tends to be lazy during battle. It needs to charge up by causing or receiving an injury." He told her.

"Then you better make this last attack count." Akari smirked.

"Here I come!" Ikkaku darted towards Akari and she charged directly at him. The two clashed swords, one striking the other. Then Ikkaku and Akari landed on the ground, both still standing and seemingly unharmed. Suddenly a loud clang was heard when Ikkaku's zapakuto was split in half, falling to the ground. Yumichika's eyes widen in shock, along with Ikkaku's.

"N-No way!" Ikkaku sputtered.

"Looks like I win!" Akari smiled and laughed, putting away her sword. Ikkaku put his away as well. "Looks like I have some competition." He smirked.

"Hey, Ikkaku, Yumichika, can you tell me this. Why do you love to fight?" Akari asked him. Ikkaku's eyes widen a little in surprise and so did Yumichika's.

"That's a very strange question." Yumichika replied.

"I want to know why." Akari insisted. Ikkaku smirked.

"Before I joined Squad 11, I fought the captain."

"You fought Zaraki!?" Akari exclaimed.

"Yeah, he gave me the reason to fight. Before I met him, Yumichika and I used to be in one of the poorer districts. I would use to pick a fight with anyone, beat them to a pulp. Anything to excite me. Until one day, the captain and I crossed paths. It was brutal. No matter how hard I tried he managed to push me back until I laid bleeding and defeated on the ground. I wanted him to kill me, but he didn't. He told me to get stronger so one day we can fight again. So, when I heard that he had joined the court guard squads, I didn't hesitate to join up as well. Yumichika did so, too. We choose to fight under him." Ikkaku yawned. "I'm going to go and take a nap. See you two, later." He walked away, leaving Akari and Yumichika alone.

Akari walked over and sat down beside Yumichika. "Yumichika, why did you join with Ikkaku and picked Squad 11?" She asked him.

"Answer me this; Do I look like I like to fight?" He smiled.

"To tell you the truth, no. You don't seem like the type. I think you prefer the art style to fighting." 

"To me, fighting is a beautiful art." Yumichika said.

"A beautiful art?" Akari questioned.

"There is such a thing as a beautiful fight. Especially such as yours the other day and just now." He winked. Akari's eyes widen a little in surprise.

"What?" she laughed a little and crossed her arms. "Are you going soft on me, Yumichika?"

"Consider it a compliment." He shrugged his hands.

"Maybe I will. But are you sure you didn't join because of a certain bald guy?" Akari smirked.

"You better not let Ikkaku hear you say that." He told her. "But tell me this, why did you choose Squad 11? You could have chosen any one of them. Why us?"

"You guys are interesting." Akari said.

"Fair enough. We are an interesting bunch. Have you decided on what seat you want? Seat four has been available for a while, if you want it." Yumichika said.

"What happened to the last person who had it? Is the seat cursed or something?" Akari asked him, receiving a small laugh from Yumichika.

"The last person was Tetsuzaemon Iba. He got promoted to Squad 7 and is now their Lieutenant. I was offered the seat, but I prefer the number 5 because I liked the look for it better."

"I'm not really interested in positions. I just wanted to join. But I'll think about it."

[flimsy-roost]

the Barbie movie has a lot of people sharing barbie doll stories from their childhoods, and honestly they're all hilarious, please keep them coming forever.

I had a couple of barbies as a kid because they were gifted to me by relatives that didn't know me well, and I think I made a few attempts to play with them because that's what was expected of little girls™ at the time, but my heart wasn't really in it. the funniest memory I have was at one point giving them all gnarly haircuts to see if I would like them more (I didn't). I had a little kid's set of drawers with the days of the week on them that sat on the bathroom counter, and I believe to this day "Sunday" is full of doll hair.

instead, I went down a mini rabbit hole of tracking down the source of my barbie equivalents, with whom I would reenact sordid high school/family dramas.

in several smaller toy stores in the San Francisco Bay Area, there used to be multi-shelved white racks standing alone at aisle caps, filled with little plastic figurines of animals, dinosaurs, fantasy/fiction tropes and creatures, and what I later (ie today) learned were historical figures. getting one or two of these figures was my childhood bribe for being a Very Good Kid whenever I ran a full afternoon of errands with either of my parents. I believe that there were multiple companies that stocked their figurines in this display, but I could only track down two that I recognized: Plastoy, a French toy company which has since been acquired and is now barely operational as a separate entity, and Papo, also French, who appear to still be shipping to resellers.

no locations in California show up on their distribution list, so I assume they have either stopped supplying there (boo of true), or they had always been (and may continue to be) be supplied by middlemen importers. let's take a trip down memory lane to revisit some of my old "barbie" equivalents:

Caesar+horse: often the dad character in any scenario because he kind of looked like my own dad

Templar Knight: secondary boyfriend character, paired off with secondary girl/bff character, who I can't find but can best describe as a bikini barbarian

Two headed dragon: two-headed dragon!!!!!! sometimes wise mentor, sometimes cool big Dogge, but most often literal threat of Big Ol Two-Headed Dragon!!!!!! (I also was into dnd as a kid so I valued the ttrpg roles of a lot of the fantasy creatures)

Red Catapult: this ruled!!! bad boys and girls get shot down the stairs as punishment!!!

Princess Sophie: popular girl trope. sometimes "mained" by a friend who came over to play sometimes because she was also blonde.

Red dragon with flame: big dangerous doggy, somewhat akin to Dino in the Flinstones

Merlin the Magician: Merlin the magician, I knew who Merlin was thank you very much, I had Sword in the Stone on VHS!

Red Barbarossa: I forget, possibly a teacher?

I had a fuckton of these (and probably still do somewhere in my childhood bedroom/my parents' garage), but without being right in front of them, there were a few more significant ones that don't appear to be papo-produced and that I can't track down:

girl with a sword in battle stance, dark green pants (and possibly top, making it a medieval jumpsuit??), and a long flowing white wimple. she may have been marketed as Maid Marian. she was the one that I "mained"

aforementioned bikini barbarian, in wide-leg battle stance, brown hair, bikini-like leather-looking top, either leather or chainmail booty shorts, calf-length leather-looking boots, may have been holding a spear, sword, or flail. she was my best friend character.

hunched-over ogre, looked more annoyed/disappointed than angry/coming to Get You, may have had a long staff/walking stick. alternate dad/teacher character.

please lmk if you might know where the three mystery figures above came from, or if you also used to play with these and have tales to tell. also if anyone has an explanation for why there were at least two French toy manufacturers that made kids fantasy figurines that absolutely slapped.

[heartfullofleeches]

Imagine if dolls were a sort of special interest/hobby for darling, so their house is filled with dolls big and small. Yan doll treats the lifeless ones sort of like friends, and even playing pretend making some like a rival. Doll enthusiast darling even orders a custom doll of themselves, because they just love dolls so much.

"Hey, Y/n. Y/n! Watch this!"

The little dolls on the table in front of you begin to twitch; pulled by an invisible string from their small bellies as they stan to their plush feet. They nod their heads in your direction before facing each other, holding up the pens taped to their hands.

Using the writing tools as pretend swords, the two being to battle. Blades clashing against one another; both dolls dodging the other's attempt at a surprise attack. The tape behind to lose its stick from the surprising strength they pour into each swing. As one turns, you can see the stitches holding their backs closed.

The porcelain doll manages to knock her opponents pen from their hands, kicking them on their back in a following move. She steps on their chest as she points her pen at their face, the little rabbit squirming for a few seconds, before falling limp.

The doll takes another bow as you clap to congratulate the winner; wiping a tear from your eye.

"How delightful. How did you do that, Pin?"

The life-sized doll beside you brings its finger to its thread lips, making a hushing sound as it's long sleeve roll down it's arm.

"Seeecret. Can't tell you. "

You laugh. "Alright, sorry about that."

Dolls were your pride and joy. You bought one just to have a little roommate while moving in to a new place, and they never stopped coming home with you since. You bought them from all over. Websites, thrift stores, and wherever else you could find them. Your love of dolls was noticed by the friends you had made, one gifting you a human sized doll right before they moved away.

Pin was their name according to the note left on your door. An older styled plush doll with big button eyes and curly orange hair. You sat them in a chair in the living room when you first got them; finding them in your bed the next morning. It goes without saying you were scared out of your mind when they moved again, but Pin quickly calmed you down with a not-so calming hug.

After the initial bumps, you became fast friends. They did anything to make you happy and you took good care of them. They even made friends when your other dolls, having conversations late into the night when you were away. They were a bit jealous of the ones that got to sleep with you, but never made that known- while you were home.

Today Pin asked if you'd like to see some of them move. With needle and thread, they could make Bonnie and Clarie perform for you, and they sure did perform. You were curious as to how they did it, but didn't press the issue.

A knock on the door catches the attention of you both. With a smile you stand up.

"Oh, that should be my package. I'll be right back, Pin... and Clarie."

"Okay."

Clarie waves. As you walk away, she points her pen sword at Pin, ready for battle.

"I'll eat you..."

She collapses on the table, enjoying her sentience too much to give it up yet.

-

Once you sign for the package, you bring the large box to the living room and place it down. Pin and the others join you as you grab a box cutter from the table.

"What's that, Y/n?"

"You'll see soon."

You slice open the box, excitement taking over. Shifting through the packaging peanuts you pull out the storage unit of your new toy, a white box with a red ribbon. Removing the bow, you finally pull out its contents. A doll version of you that was a splitting image down to the clothes you wore specially for the occasion. It was about the length of your upper body and had a small smile. Pin gasps.

"A tiny Y/n."

"Yup. Saw a service for it, and I wanted one, plus now you won't miss me as much when I'm gone. Wanna hold it?."

You thought of as a win situation for you both. Pin got so lonely when you were gone, calling your job all the time asking when you'd come home. Teaching them to use the house phone was a big mistake. They even ventured outside to look for you when you had a late shift. It was a lucky thing that you were just getting off the bus as they walked down the neighborhood street.

"Okay..."

You hand Pin the doll. They look at it with an unchanged expression, likely due to it being the only one they could make. They look up at you.

"I'm going to get a drink real quick. Get acquainted you two."

You head to the kitchen. Pin drops their gaze to the doll again; their tone shifting.

"I don't like you. You're not warm like Y/n is, and you're small. Plus if I gave you life you'd just be another me"

They hug it to their chest.

"But you look just like them, so I love you too."

[criticalcoruscant]

okay i have finished all of the available episodes (1-3 as of writing this post) so far and I have Thoughts

[again with the disclaimer: *I have not read the source material, I know nothing, I'd never even heard of this piece of media until I saw a trailer a week ago and said ???* I also have horrifying name retention so bear with me]

That being said:

blacksmith widower guy is wholesome as all get out and I'm going to sob if literally anything happens to him

The Girl Of The Group™ could literally do whatever she wants and she's valid. Love her.

redhead is coming around, he was on thin ice but again I know nothing so maybe he's just got a lot to learn about life. he could have cut and run back home but he's sticking around and hecked right out when barmaid started making moves so good for him

sad floppy boy feels like he's being set up to be the bad guy and I sigh sadly. he just wants to keep his sisters safe. was he a little dumb and took a potentially cursed dagger, yes. but we forgive a doofus - who among us wouldn't do that, honestly? anyways, he dresses in dark colors and has dark hair and dark facial hair and steals as a hobby and talks smooth, if he manages to make it without being The Dark One, I'll be pleasantly shocked.

very excited that the wisdom lady is still around, loving the tension there. she seems great. i'm going to assume she and the ward? is that what sword guy is called? are the one that is going to be carrying the party brain cell so excited to see that.

Ward guy (yeah, i think that was right) is awesome, he is basically one half of the dnd characters I make so i'm vibing with him hardcore. we love a protective grump with sass.

and the aes sedai (thank you lovely person for the spelling on my last post) lady, rosamund pike, is the other half of the dnd characters i make so also vibing there but she's also been asleep for most of these episodes so, be interested to see what happens there. not ashamed at all to say that she is 99% of the reason i'm here.

anyways, apparently theres a new episode today? can't wait to find out more! if y'alls fandom is as feral as any of mine are, i hope this post finds you well and i hope my cluelessness was a bit of entertainment for you

[etheriadearie]

“Promise”

Why can't you just… Promise ?

Today's goal is an in-depth look at one of the most beautiful and breathtaking episodes of She-ra: "Promise"

Storywise, it's incredibly important to the series, and focuses entirely on Catradora. It's the first time since Adora left Catra behind to seek out the sword that the girls really have an opportunity to talk, and things are not going well. Both of them are royally pissed off at the other, with good reason.

For Adora, we're gonna deflate that proud hair poof of hers a bit, as we'll take an honest look at her as a person at this point in her life. And Catra... she's really guarding her feelings closely, as she's already deeply angry with Adora. But we will use the combination of Catra's younger self in the memories they see, plus looking at other times in the series that relate to this episode, where she was less guarded, in order to understand her as a person at this time. Also: warning: tl;dr, best enjoyed while cozy with a drink..

To get started, we skip to when they end up stuck together…

After Adora takes drastic measures to ward off the security spiders by collapsing the tunnel, the girls are now stuck together, and so… they talk...

We immediately see how incredibly irritated they are with each other as Adora chides Catra for being in the Crystal Castle, since the monsters will continue to attack them as long as she's protecting Catra… only to have Catra retort that she didn't ask for protection. Some snippy bickering back and forth happens, then...

Adora asks: "Does Shadow Weaver know you're here?" Very deadpan assertion from Adora. She knows Catra must be disobeying orders, she just doesn't know why.

"I'd say Shadow Weaver has bigger problems right now". Catra is already starting her move against SW back at the Horde. With SW abusively blocking her every move within the Horde, and now that Catra knows that SW was going to mind wipe Adora, Catra has decided she must deal with her abuser.

Adora puts on her telltale sideways grin, and Catra chafes at Adora's flirtation, saying "I told you it's not because I like you” downplaying Adora’s suggestion that this was the reason she let her go. Catra freely admits here that she does like Adora, but it's not the real reason she did it. Still, Catra doesn't explain further, and we see later that Catra often lets Adora explain away her actions this way... but that Adora constantly misses the deeper truths.

"Where are your new best friends? I thought you did everything together". She's very snarky and dismissive of Adora and her flirting. She's mad about Adora leaving her for her new life.

"The ones you let SW imprison and curse?" Adora is angry at Catra for what she did, which was a sudden escalation of things by Catra.

"Yeah obviously, what other friends would I be talking about?" An obvious dig at Adora for leaving her, everything behind. She deadpans this, staring back plainly. Catra is obviously really angry at Adora... while Adora is legitimately mad at Catra for doing something so nasty to Bow and Glimmer...

::Let's take a moment to talk about Catra's feelings about Adora's new friends: Catra feels horribly betrayed by this. Adora completely tossed her aside, and replaced her with Bow and Glimmer. What comes to mind is at the end of Sea Gate, Catra is thrown in the water and then looks up at Adora, who is celebrating and cuddling with Bow and Glimmer. Catra is emotionally forlorn watching this, as Scorpia comes to drag her off to safety, Adora doesn't even look back towards her.

She's forgotten, Adora showed no love towards her at all in that scene (and then hardly any at Princess Prom, either). Adora ignored her plea for her to return, she didn't reach out to Catra at all. And now she watches her cuddle with her new friends: everything Catra thought she had with Adora meant nothing, and she's been replaced with these feel goodie goods who are fawning all over Adora.

Suffice to say, Catra couldn't do this, she's got way too many issues with emotional intimacy and touch aversion. So she watches Adora, seeing that what she offered her wasn't good enough, knowing because of it she's forgotten. Catra was trying really hard to be a close friend to Adora in spite of her issues, but as we will see, Adora wasn't trying to understand what was going on with Catra. And because of this, Catra was too afraid to express her affection openly, and yet here's Adora... accepting all of Bow and Glimmer’s love, for which Adora really did nothing to earn. Adora took Catra’s friendship for granted while ignoring her deeper needs, as will be explained, then completely abandons her, not even seeming to miss her. Catra is deeply hurt by the unfairness of this.

>Catra stares back at Adora, frustrated when she doesn't even acknowledge their lost friendship.

"Well, we don't need to go together. You do your weird little magic quest thing I'll find my own way out". Catra looks resentfully at the sword on Adora's back as she says this. Catra is laying down boundaries, except it's useless since they are trapped together. But, boundaries are important to Catra and as the episode progresses, Adora shows that she doesn't really understand Catra's.

>As they walk along, both girls' shadows loom equally tall. The symbolism is that in this story, both are equally important... it's also a shockingly beautiful sequence. (pic above)

After entering the room of infinite darkness, Catra tries to separate from Adora but the door is gone, they are stuck together. Weird things start happening. As the Fright Zone appears, both of them are confused. Adora decides to suspect Catra, after all, she attacked her friends. But as Adora grabs Catra, Catra is surprised and confused... Catra doesn't like being touched unexpectedly, Adora knows this but is ignoring that and attacking her. She gets treated as an enemy when she clearly hasn't done anything wrong, and it sets the tone for the two of them: Adora has constantly treated Catra as an enemy since the very moment she defected, not even trying to understand Catra's point of view. And so Catra increasingly emotionally distances herself from Adora. Catra angrily casts Adora's arm aside, not liking being vilified by her, and Adora doesn't understand why Catra is so upset. Catra slips away to explore, needing space from her.

The way Adora immediately suspects and then attacks Catra is symbolic to the whole episode: by defecting to the Rebellion, Adora chose to start treating Catra, and her entire unit, as enemies, backing it up with hostility. But Catra doesn't really agree that the horde is evil... in her experience, it's just how life is.

>The two girls, now separated, call out to each other. Adora hears Catra's call, then another: young Catra is behind her, looking lost and insecure. Catra joins Adora as their first memory has just begun…

~DISCLAIMER TIME~ A lot of information in She-ra is inferred by emotional context, so if this seems a bit head-canon-y, I assure you, I have data! Please ask questions and seek clarifications, I promise to answer back! ~EtheriaDearie

>A worried and hurt young Catra runs to young Adora's side. She is emotional and needs support. Adora checks her out then gets the real deal: Catra was in a fight with an adult. It hints that Catra always had to deal with people messing with her, even before SW began her abuse. This is a guess, but it's probable: this is likely a happy memory of the two of them right before the hurting began. Along with the "promise" memory and the moments immediately preceding their entering the Black Garnet chamber, these scenes set the baseline for what their friendship was like before Catra suffered SW’s abuse. Also, this memory is a happy one, and how Adora remembers their friendship: it was likely triggered by her memories. The next ones are not, as I believe they are triggered by Catra, who is trying to explain to Adora what was so painful about their childhood...

>Catra doesn't know what to expect when she shows Octavia to Adora. She probably expects Adora to try to apologize on her behalf, or to give her a hard time about what she did. Instead, Adora sticks with her friend and yells “Hey Octavia, you're a dumbface." This brings young Catra much joy, Adora is sticking with her, not passing judgement. The two young girls run together hand in hand, experiencing childhood bliss, but it doesn't last. The present versions of themselves return, holding hands...

They share a brief moment of connection before Catra pulls her hand away in anger. Adora is surprised at the strength of Catra’s reaction. They are not on intimate terms any more, in fact, I suspect they had been struggling for a while before Adora's defection. Adora doesn't want the moment to stop, but Catra does. It hints that the gulf between them is already wide.

"How can you deal with all this magic stuff?" Catra has a deep distrust of magic, as it was used in her abuse. She resents it, and throughout the series whenever anything magic happens that she doesn't see coming she gets creeped out.

"I'm only dealing with it because I need to figure out how to heal Glimmer after someone got her cursed." It's a valid criticism, but Catra deflects it.

"What do you want? An apology? You're not getting one." We don't get the full story on this moment until season 5 when a young Catra tells Adora she'll "never say sorry to anybody, ever." Adora doesn't like Catra just refusing to explain, and as Catra pushes her away, Catra is full of reproach at Adora's judgement.

::As an abused child, Catra was continuously vilified and abused by everyone but Adora. And when Adora would suggest she apologize throughout their lives, she can't understand why Catra won't. It comes down to literally everyone in the world judging Catra and being cruel. Not once did any of them apologize to her, even though she didn't do anything to deserve the abuse. Except Adora... but that has issues, too. In fact, SW literally tells her "I won't apologize" regarding her abuse of Catra. Can you imagine the hurt at that?

[pic caption: Catra refuses to apologize, Catra often shows her deeper emotions while blinking, in this case: the incredible pain she experienced from SW’s abuse.]

So no, Catra won't apologize, she had a thing she was trying to do by kidnapping Bow and Glimmer and taking her sword, and it ended badly. But she felt she had a good reason to do it: she wanted to force Adora to see her, to make her acknowledge how big of a part of Adora’s life Catra used to be. And it's not like anyone has been helping Catra, she's had to make every single decision on her own her entire life and live with the consequences.

Also, mistakes for Catra have an entirely different meaning than they do for Adora. Whenever Adora made a mistake, she was given an opportunity to fix it. This is a theme of their relationship: Adora expects Catra to let her fix her mistakes. But for Catra, she learned that any mistake she made was dangerous, as when she did make a mistake, SW would torture her for it. And if other people saw it too, they'd use it to perpetuate the notion that she's some kind of no good fuck up. So Catra is extremely careful to not make mistakes, and if she does, she tries to cover it up, distance herself from it. (note: this isn't the same as Catra's intentional rebellions against this system where she was unfairly targeted for abuse-). This is why Catra simply cannot forgive Adora easily for breaking her promise: in Catra's world, she had to be perfect, or she could have been dead by SW's hand. She wasn't allowed to make mistakes like Adora is, she is what is clinically known as 'hyper vigilant' and always preparing for the worst. And so she applies this standard to be perfect all the time to Adora, and therefore she won't give Adora the same license to make mistakes with their friendship. Catra thinks Adora should know better, and see the consequences of her actions.

>Adora lets it go: when Catra seems to shut down, Adora does her best to try to accept her. Adora tries a different track. She asks Catra why she let her and Glimmer go when SW had them imprisoned, when it could have resulted in Catra getting in trouble. Catra walks ahead, trying to distance herself from having to answer. But the magic of the Crystal Castle intervenes: as Adora slips and begins to fall, Catra saves her. It's a symbolic moment: Catra has always tried to protect Adora, to save her from pain. It's why she changed course to give the sword back to her, partly.

"Did you really think I'd just let SW erase your memory like that?"

"I don't know. Probably." Adora shows such little understanding of their friendship. It shows Adora really is thinking of Catra as an enemy, not as the complicated person stuck between protecting her friend, and the cruel necessities of her life.

Catra looks at Adora with disappointment. "Yeah, well, you never did have too much faith in me." Adora tries to understand Catra's emotions, fails.

"Huh, can you blame me?" Ouch. Adora smiles at Catra, trying to show love for her roguish quirks. But it just shows how little Adora understands: she is repeating a negative stereotype of Catra that everyone in their old life believes and perpetuates. And Adora should know better, instead of just assuming the worst about her. That persona is one which Catra uses to protect herself, partly from her own emotional feelings, but also as a necessity to protect herself from SW. She had to act like she doesn't care, doesn't try, so SW wouldn't see her power.

"Psh, not really." As Catra turns away, again she deadpans this but you can see pain and disappointment leaking past her indifference.

As she walks away she trails her tail across Adora's hand, flirting and drawing Adora's attention to her butt. It's a cute little moment of telling a truth to counter the lie: 'Adora, you should know me better, and also, I like you.' Still, it's only a half truth: Catra couldn't let SW win because SW is Catra's true enemy. But, Adora takes the flirtatious hint, as always. She accepts it and doesn't dig deeper.

Catra asks Adora about their childhood, trying to understand how Adora could just throw it all away. Adora gives a very direct and impassioned speech, she looks Catra in the eyes, trying to convince her and make her understand why leaving was the right thing to do. Catra hides her emotions, weighing Adora's answer. She doesn't agree with her sentiment, in Catra's experience good and evil are relative and exist as such everywhere. Also, she's right: we meet many people in the Horde who aren't evil. And Adora's finding the sword is one giant sinister manipulation by Light Hope. Moral grayness is a constant theme in this show. Still, this isn't really why Catra chooses to stay with the Horde.

Adora sees her explanation failing to convince Catra, so she tries reminding Catra of their deeper friendship, telling her she misses her too. Catra is temporarily taken aback at being called out before remembering to deny it. She tells Adora to get over herself, and Adora tells her she won't stop until Catra says she likes her. They flirtatiously rough house, and Catra smiles during it: yeah, she does. But she denies it anyways.

::Adora often tries to be respectful of Catra's personal space but is making an exception here: she's telling her that she finds her desirable, and if Catra wanted it, they could be together. Adora can't understand why Catra feels the need to resist this, but she knows doing it helps her friend feel wanted. Still, this shows how casually Adora views their attraction.

Yes, they should be together. And actually, they had an unspoken agreement that they would be. But Catra's not going to open herself up to that just to serve her desire. She wants more from Adora, for Adora to show her that she really does see her, and cares about her. If she did, maybe Catra could open up about some of her pain. Being intimate without doing that would be impossible, and so far Catra's life still isn't safe enough to risk her feelings. Adora's promotion could have meant the beginning of something new between them, where they worked together to build a more secure future together where Catra didn't have to be fearful all the time. But instead, Adora left her.

So begins the second memory. The two girls, now teenagers, compete against each other in sparring. It's clear they are flirting, and neither is fighting all out. When Catra taunts Adora by putting her finger to her forehead, she shows how much better she is at fighting. She full heartedly laughs, Adora enjoys this and then throws a purposefully weak strike to restart the fight. When Adora seemingly turns the tables through brute force, Catra plays hurt to exploit Adora's naiveness. As Adora tries to show concern, Catra turns the tables back. She wants to teach Adora a lesson: that not everyone will play fair, as Catra knows all too well from SW's abuse. But Lonnie interrupts her. Catra doesn't appreciate this and makes quick work of Lonnie, showing just how good she is. Adora attacks, getting the predetermined win. Catra doesn't enjoy the beat down but accepts Adora's help up. She heads to Lonnie as Adora receives compliments from their commander.

As Catra confronts Lonnie, she tells Catra "you were playing dirty, I was just leveling the field". Catra will hear these words again when she leaves Adora behind in frustration near the end of the episode. They are significant: these are stereotypical views forced on Catra, and those views ignore that Catra was just doing something she felt was important: teaching Adora about the harsh realities that exist in the world. Real enemies don't play by the rules, and will be unpredictable.

As Catra’s anger rises at this, Adora puts her hand on Catra's shoulder to calm her down, then compliments Catra on her fighting skills. Catra ever so casually tosses the comforting hand aside. She's saying 'I can handle my emotions without your help, but thanks for asking.' As she tells Adora she let her win, Adora tries to tell if Catra really is ok.

Thus starts one of cutest exchanges between the two of them: as Catra tries to explain why she lets Adora win, Adora puts on her sideways 'you like me' grin while she playfully denies that Catra let her win. Catra gives a very animated and obviously made up explanation about not wanting to have people expect things from her. Adora grins along, and halfway through her lie Catra leans in, staring at Adora's lips before looking up into her eyes. Once again, Catra is undoing a lie by telling a truth: she let her win because she likes (loves) her. But it's only a half truth, once again...

Adora accepts the explanation, keeping her sideways grin: 'it's so cute how you like me'. Catra's explanation done, Adora moves on, wanting to catch up with their unit. Catra lets her do so while excusing herself. As Adora leaves, a huge amount of meaningful information passes across Catra's face…

First, Catra feels bad about having to lie to Adora, and it shows. Then, as Adora leaves to socialize, disappointment and rejection shows: Catra had hoped Adora might look deeper, and try to see the deeper truth. As Adora turns away and leaves we see a look of total love and adoration on Catra's face. She really, really loves Adora. She's the light of her life, a real idiot no doubt but Catra will always love her for exactly who she is.

The girls remain their younger selves as the rest of the memory plays out, Adora staying to accept praise while Catra separates to deal with her internal feelings which Adora always fails to see: the hurt and aloneness she feels.

>A frustrated young Catra cries, expressing her repressed emotions. It would be easiest to assume she cries because she's sad about losing, but we have to look ahead to the next memory to find the real truth.

Catra is sad because she never had a choice. SW took that choice from her, and while Catra is happy to let Adora win because of the love she feels for her, it hurts that she never really got to decide. And Adora doesn't see that, doesn't see the pain Catra is bearing, hiding. And so she cries for that, too. The one person who should love her doesn't really see her. As she looks up in the mirror to see herself, since no one else in her life seems to see her pain, she sees her present tearful self looking back. The pain of the past is real in the present, and while she's older now and won't let herself give in to tears, she feels the pain as she did back then. (pic 1, below) She sees the tears and it snaps her back to her present self, totally unnerved by the simulation as the security detects her and attacks. A fearful Catra screams, wanting help, wanting Adora.

>Adora snaps back to herself, having been participating in the replay of the memory post Catra excusing herself. She tries to run to help Catra, full of worry. She sees a terrified Catra trapped by the spider. As the spider begins to drag her away the two girls lock arms, trying to free Catra. But it's too strong, and as we see their grip start to slip, Catra looks to Adora wanting, pleading for help. As Catra is pulled away, Adora feels helpless, knowing she couldn't help her friend. She thumps her head in frustration that she wasn't there for Catra.

The scene speaks to an obvious truth: Adora has never quite been there enough for Catra. She's always less present, less aware of Catra's reality than she could have been. But since Catra was experiencing a painful memory when this happened, her reaction shows her vulnerable emotional state, and so she called out for help: Catra just wants to feel safe, for Adora to be there to help her. But she wasn't.

>As Catra is dragged away, she feels helpless, and calls out mournfully for Adora. But she's long gone; Catra is alone and scared, as usual. She screams out her frustration, the realization that she’s never gotten the help she needed, she always ends up alone. She cries tears for the suffering and anguish she feels from that. (pic 2, below) It’s a moment that shows us the real inner Catra: She feels deeply, whether it be her desire to be seen, loved by Adora, or the fear she feels in this moment and others. She tries her best to act confident in herself, but it's a lie: she needs support, yet is left behind by everyone, including Adora. She was willing to bear her pain for Adora's love, but she has become increasingly aware of how tenuous that really was growing up.

>Catra digs deep, like she's always done. She will handle this, won't take the abuse lying down. She shifts her mentality to being the survivor, the person who has survived years of abuse. She frees herself and gets to her feet, accessing her foe, determined to defeat it. She attacks, using her anger to deal damaging blows, seeking to destroy her enemy, to make sure she survives. She stands back, confident she's won, proud of herself for it. She doesn't quit, she always perseveres against those who want to destroy her. (pic 3)

Adora shows up, finishing the monster. Catra doesn't drop her mentality, this person who has lived a separate life from Adora and survived on her own, doing the hard things like winning fights and resisting Shadow Weaver's abuse.

Adora walks forward, seeing Catra's anger, determination. She looks blankly, trying not to upset Catra. She's trying to get a read on Catra but not having any luck, so she's being cautious. She asks if Catra is ok, casually pulling webbing off Catra's shoulder, trying to exist in her physical space without upsetting Catra further. "I had it" says Catra, not dropping her fighter stance, mentality at all. Catra is very much feeling the aloneness of her life from everyone, including Adora.

Adora tries to casually put aside Catra's assertion that she had it, she smiles diplomatically. She tries again to touch Catra, to break down her animosity and get her to calm down. It doesn't work. "We need to make sure we stick together from now on." As Adora touches Catra, she tenses, uncomfortable. Catra has strong touch aversion, and Adora knows this but she also knows doing it sometimes helps Catra shift her mentality, so she's trying to get Catra to connect emotionally, to get her to accept care.

"Will you stop telling me what to do?" An exasperated Catra says. We see a look of total dismay cross Adora's face. She's not understanding why Catra has so much animosity in this moment. (pic below)

As Adora looks at Catra, she hunches her body, looking misunderstood and isolated. Adora has consistently failed to see Catra's emotional states and so Catra is feeling more and more apart; that the mentality of the survivor she's feeling now is the right one. Adora didn't really help her at all growing up, and she doesn't see her for who she really is, either. Adora always took the easy explanation, like saying that Catra did things for her because she liked her. Never looking deeper, trying to see her struggle. And so Catra doesn't drop her combative pose, she stays in it because she feels in control, less vulnerable.

As for the words "stop telling me what to do", that's an essay in itself but consider: just now Adora became frustrated when she lost Catra, and now tells her they need to stay together. But they didn't, they never did, and even when they are together Adora is no real help to Catra. So she reacts in anger to Adora trying to direct her. After all, in the next scene we will see that Adora leads Catra into danger, and then doesn't really help her as she gets abused. Adora is no great leader, not according to Catra's experience.

::Adora is having a total loss, here, as she tries to understand Catra, why she's angry at her: It's because she has never really known this 'survivor' side of Catra. Adora wants to comfort her and calm her down, but Catra isn't having it. I think this is when we first see Adora begin to realize that there is something is very wrong with her friend that she has completely failed to see, and she's deeply worried by it. (pic 2)

[pic cation: Adora can't read Catra's emotions, Adora realizes Catra is deeply angry. Outside SW’s chamber, Adora wants to take Catra’s hand.]

Adora loves Catra, but can't seem to get through to her: Catra is holding herself apart from Adora. Again, Catra pushes Adora's hand aside, frustrated. She expresses her exasperation at the situation, saying she's sick of what's going on. Adora follows along, confused. As Catra seemingly purposefully leaves her behind, Adora demands to know what Catra's problem is, saying that she was trying to save her. Catra looks down at her confrontationally, frustrated with Adora's lack of vision. "For the last time, I don't need you to save me. I've been doing just fine on my own. No thanks to you." Uh oh.

The words "no thanks to you" are especially cutting. Adora has totally failed to see the struggles Catra had all her life, she didn't understand the hurt and abuse Catra was fighting against. And so Catra did it all on her own, protecting herself and trying to remain strong. Her love of Adora might have helped her have hope, but fundamentally Catra overcame the abuse by not giving up on herself, believing she had worth, and not letting others tear her down.

Adora runs to Catra's side, taking her arm in one hand. Feeling her friend becoming increasingly distant from her, Adora tries authentically telling Catra her feelings, hoping to make her friend see her desire to help and understand her. Adora explains that she's sorry for leaving and that she did it because she couldn't stand the war the Horde has pursued. Her next words are telling: "but I never wanted to leave you". 'Want' is an important word in this series, and it comes up again in season 5 when Catra asks Adora "what do you want, Adora?”. By choosing to leave the Horde, Catra feels that Adora wanted that more than she wanted what they had together. Also, promises are not something you're supposed to break over a 'want'. And Adora so casually breaking their promises makes Catra think she doesn't matter to Adora. It's not the truth, but this belief still determines her reaction in this moment. Even though Adora dearly loves Catra, including at this point in the story, she hasn't shown it in a way that Catra can see as meaningful. As Adora finishes saying this, Catra looks back, feeling alone and unwanted, seemingly thinking 'but you did leave me, Adora.'

Adora tries to appeal to Catra to join the rebellion with her. Then she says "I know you're not a bad person, Catra. You don't belong with the Horde." Catra must be thinking 'Ok so at what point did you become the authority on whether someone is good or bad, Adora?' Adora has shown no interest in understanding Catra's position, she treated her as an enemy without fail since she left her, literally in every single case including at Princess Prom when Catra was trying so hard to romance her. And Catra doesn't accept Adora's naive black and white view of the world. Think about it: when Adora defects she begins treating all Horde with hostility, including her dearest friend, she judges them all and doesn’t even try to see them as the complicated people that they are. So when she suggests Catra doesn't belong with the Horde, Catra looks back at her, feeling totally isolated from Adora. Even though Adora's plea is earnest, Catra declines it.

>As the next memory begins, we see Adora now has both hands on Catra's arm, she's desperately trying to hold on to her bond with Catra and show her desire to fix things between them. Catra doesn't drop her wary demeanor at all, and Adora looks lost and anxious over this as a young Catra runs by.

The memory starts out full of childhood innocence as the two of them play together. When the girls see that the Black Garnet chamber is open, young Adora remarks "we're definitely not allowed in there." Young Catra looks at Adora, seemingly asking if she wants to go in, trusting her. Young Adora runs off, and Catra follows her in. Yes, Catra participates in the decision, but she's not the one who runs towards the chamber, and that's important to what happens next.

A worried (adult) Adora looks to her friend who seems so distant, stoic. Anxiously, Adora tells Catra "You don't have to go in there." Adora knows what happens next is very bad, that this is a hurtful memory for Catra. As an unwavering Catra begins to walk towards the chamber, Adora looks down at Catra's hand. [pic above] She wants desperately to reach out and take it, to hold Catra back from this terrible moment, to tell her she's sorry for messing up. Adora knows now that she screwed up, that she's let Catra down, somehow more than she ever realized. She doesn't know what to do about it… she follows Catra inside.

The young girls explore, Catra touches the black garnet and gets shocked. Adora has second thoughts, she realizes they're trespassing.. but of course, SW returns, so they try to hide. As SW takes off the mask, Adora cries out, taken aback... young Catra looks at her in dismay. She's about to pay for Adora's mistake with a lifetime of suffering. Offended, SW tells them to "Get out!" but rethinks. She puts the mask back on, and decides to use this moment to instead abuse the girls and use the crime of their trespass against them. As SW tells Catra to stay, Adora turns around, seeing that Catra is caught, and she's scared for her friend. She really did make a poor decision, and as a highly empathetic person, what happens to Catra scars Adora, too.

Held powerless by magic, Catra tries to explain that they were just playing. SW's words to her set the stage for a lifetime of physical and psychological abuse: SW leans over her menacingly, telling her "Insolent child, I've come to expect such disgraceful behavior from you, but I will not allow you to drag Adora down as well." Again, it's not Catra who decided to go in, so it's really not her fault. SW disparages her and heaps blame upon her for Adora's bad choice, ignoring the truth.

Adora weakly tries to protect Catra, saying "SW, it wasn't her fault. It was my idea too." It's an understandable response, as they're just little kids. Still, Adora could have taken the blame for their trespass, since she led Catra inside. But it's about to get a lot more hurtful for Catra...

SW's voice echoes through Catra's head as she trembles in terror: "You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me. I've kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you but if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself. Do you understand ?" Catra trembles in fear, her eyes unfocused, the room empty but for SW menacing her. She's in a dissociative state, terrified and helpless. I think some people probably feel like this must have been a idle threat, but it isn't: SW abuses Catra many times after this for her mistakes. And the depiction of the dissociative state helps us understand just how damaging it was. While Adora seemingly goes on to not realize the importance of this memory, for Catra it is formative to her entire life.

Again, Adora tries weakly to stop what's happening, putting herself between them. She tells SW "please, stop" then looks over at Catra, full of concern. Running over to SW, she tells her "she didn't mean to". This is so hurtful, as young Catra is very smart. Catra knows Adora has blown it again, after all, what is it that she "didn't mean to" do when it was Adora's idea to trespass? Adora isn't getting the magnitude of the situation, and Catra is very much left to fend for herself.

SW then does a very insidious thing to Adora, a very directed abuse that's meant to work against her personality and empathetic reactions to others pain. She tells her "Adora, you must do a better job of keeping her under control. Do not let something like this happen again..." SW follows this up with years of manipulation to make Adora even more susceptible to abuse. But in this moment, SW again heaps the blame for Adora's mistake onto Catra, who did nothing wrong. For Catra, she comes to believe that what she did doesn't even matter, nobody cares what the truth was. Even Adora. But for Adora, the hurt goes deep as well. She made a bad decision, her friend gets hurt for it, and she never comes clean... instead, she's told she has to do a better job of controlling her friend, and that she has to be perfect so that it doesn't happen again. It's a deep and hurtful moment for Adora, just like it is for Catra. But the hurt is much less direct, and more sneaky. Nonetheless, Adora struggles with this moment, this abuse of her, in the most intimate and painful ways all throughout the series.

Young Catra watches on as SW completes her manipulation of Adora. For Catra, she's left with the feeling that nothing she does matters, she was blamed for something she didn't even do. And Adora seemingly took the easy out, spreading the blame. But she doesn't realize this moment is so insidious for Adora, that it attacks and manipulates her at her emotional need to help others. From this moment on, Adora is afflicted with a desperate fear that she can't protect others, and must lead perfectly so they don't get hurt. This internal conflict erodes Adora's self worth, and causes her great emotional pain throughout the series. Catra, instead, believes she is being told she has no worth, and isn't even allowed to make her own decisions. It's hurtful, and it's part of why she tensed so badly at Adora for trying to tell her what to do earlier. We see this realization cross young Catra's face: she feels forgotten in this moment.

We see the young girls walking away from SW's chamber, Adora with her hand around Catra's shoulder. This comfort is not enough... Catra really needed Adora to stand up for her there, to come clean, and she didn't. Trying to comfort her now seems hollow. As they flash to their present selves, Catra knocks Adora's arm aside in frustration, accusing her of needing to play the hero.

Adora responds, saying she was only trying to protect her. Catra's next words tell the real truth of their childhood: "You never protected me! Not in any way that would put you on SW's bad side!" Adora at first chafes at this statement, feeling like she did try to protect her, then crosses over to confusion at the strength of Catra's assertion. Catra is telling Adora she was blind to her pain. She wasn't there for her, and this is very much at the core of Catra's disappointment with Adora: the fact that she never stayed, never tried to understand. Adora let SW control her, make her ambitious, and so Catra was put to the side of that, and over time Adora grew apart from her. Catra’s exact words here are important: she says that Adora ‘plays’ at being the hero, yet always seemingly protected her status as the favorite, never standing up to SW and risking harm onto herself in order to save Catra from pain.

And so, the fact that out of seemingly out of nowhere, Adora decides to risk everything and defect in order to fight for people she doesn't even know, insults Catra. Adora abandons and consequently fights against her own people, leaving Catra behind, unilaterally treating her as an enemy. Never, in their whole lives, did Adora ever fight for Catra, only offering affection afterwards to make up for the cruelties that happened to Catra. So no, Catra doesn't want Adora to save her, or her sympathy, when she seemingly cared so little about her pain. Adora was no hero to her.

Now an obvious question might be: if the manipulation is that Adora is supposed to protect and control Catra, then shouldn't she have had to see SW abuse Catra for it to work? The first part of the answer is that it was never really about that, once the idea was put in Adora’s head, SW used it to manipulate her further into a mentality where Adora would accept praise, promotion on her path to becoming a force captain.

The other is that when someone is being hurt like Catra was in that moment... if the one person in the world who is supposed to get it doesn't get it... then it becomes very hard to ever bring it up to them again. It's a specific type of hurt and abandonment: for Catra, she goes on to believe that this is her burden, that somehow she alone is supposed to learn these hard lessons. And so she doesn't tell Adora about the abuse. Also, keep in mind that they are small children, and Catra doesn't want Adora to hurt like she does... so she's actually protecting her, in her mind. But the fact that time goes by and Adora never seemed to care, to stop and see Catra's pain, was very hurtful to her. And Catra’s feelings of betrayal at Adora’s not seeing the hurt are justified: in episode 1, we see Adora watch SW menace Catra, then happily run off to accept her promotion, only remembering to check on Catra as an afterthought. Catra needed Adora's support, and never really got it.

[pic caption: (left to right) Adora’s apparent willful ignorance of the abuse.]

So Catra believes she learns these hard lessons so Adora won't have to, but is left alone in her pain. This also means that SW specifically abused Catra at times and in places so Adora wouldn't be aware, which again, tells us it was never really about making Adora responsible for Catra's decisions. No, the reasons were much darker, and Catra bore it all alone.

The girls flash to their younger selves, and Catra accuses Adora: "Admit it, you love being her favorite." Catra is telling Adora that she was disappointed and hurt that Adora kept accepting praise and privilege from SW, after that moment when she so clearly should have seen how SW abused her, and the maliciousness of the death threat. In Catra’s mind, Adora could have rejected SW. As painful as it is for a small child to be without any parents, it would have been the right thing to do, for Catra. SW was no good to Catra, and they could have shared the pain of being orphans who only had each other, but instead Catra ended up bearing all of the abuse while Adora was given privilege.

Adora denies this assertion, and yet she did accept the privilege SW offered her. Catra's next words show how ignorant Adora was to the realities of their lives as they flash back to their present selves: "Oh yeah? When you left, who do you think took the fall for you? Who was protecting me then ?" Catra bore all the abuse and punishment for Adora's leaving, and Adora wasn't there to see it. Catra did this bravely for Adora, in fact, up until before Princesse Prom, Catra did everything she could to cover for Adora, just like she asked, protecting her, hoping she'd come back to her. But Adora shows no understanding at all for what Catra went through, she didn't even think about what must have been happening to her. Adora has never taken the time to think about how her actions affect Catra's life.

Adora counters, suggesting that Catra could leave the Horde, and therefore get away from SW's abuse. Catra just glares back at her, disappointed. Catra knows running from the abuse won't solve anything.

::What this comes down to is a totally different understanding of the world. For Adora, she thinks she became a hero for leaving the Horde, and becoming She-ra. She doesn't realize she was lucky to fall into the situation she did, with Bow and Glimmer helping her gain acceptance and protecting her. She's totally unaware that the reality that her becoming She-ra is a manipulation born out of evil intent. For Catra, she's always known that the world is harsh, and that bad people exist who will try to destroy you. She's not afraid to fight, she's had no choice learning these harsh truths. It's a jaded view that negatively affects her perceptions of people, but it prepares her for the worst, and so she relies on it. So when Adora suggests she run from it, she rejects her as naive. They flash back to their younger selves after Adora suggests Catra can leave like she did, and Catra accusingly points out that she doesn't need to follow Adora around. That they're children is relevant to the previous memory where Adora led Catra into danger, and then didn't protect her. Catra isn't interested in following Adora blindly after she's put her in danger so badly in the past.

Flashing back present selves, Catra tells Adora she doesn't want to leave. As she says this her face conveys her anger at the world, her drive to face SW instead of flee. She says "I'm not afraid of SW anymore, and I'm a better force captain than you ever would have been." Let's take this in parts: Catra won't run from her abuser, she's already planning to take her down. Doing so is important to Catra, as it fixes her world in an important way. And that Adora can't see this just shows how far apart they are now. In Catra's mind, Adora was supposed to stay, and as they rose to power together, they would have supplanted SW, fixing Catra's world. The two of them would have been stronger in the end. But Adora did leave, so Catra impatiently tries to get Adora to see that she won't just run away. If Adora doesn't want to help Catra overcome this evil, then she'll do it on her own.

Her disappointment in Adora for abandoning this fight is apparent, what comes to mind is when Catra calls Adora weak in the Sea Gate episode. And now Catra knows she's got the power to do this, she's a force captain, and if she can just find a reason to depose SW she knows she has the station and fighting ability to take her down. She always knew she could lead, but was happy to let Adora have success because she really didn't want that responsibility. So she points out her superiority, not to show that she's better than Adora, but to tell Adora she was blind to Catra's worth, and to be hurtful to Adora for abandoning her.

They flash back to their child selves: Adora looks at Catra, hurt and confused "You always said you didn't care about things like that." Adora is feeling hurt by the idea that she was unknowingly taking advantage of Catra, because Catra has seemily just told her she was lying.

Now, this next part is important, and it's important that we are seeing Catra's reaction as her child self: Catra looks sad and lonely as Adora finishes her question, and she's crying. Something adult Catra would never let herself do. So we're seeing a much more authentic expression of Catra's hurt and emotions than if it were her present self. What you need to understand here is that those emotions don't really match her words... Catra tells her "Well I was lying, obviously!" But her face says she's angry and hurt at Adora for not seeing her pain.

As she delivers those words her face is full of accusation and insult, she's being dramatic, something we will see Catra do time and time again. She stares down Adora, eyes scrunched up, showing Adora how betrayed she felt by her insensitivity. Then we get sadness, disappointment. Finally, we get a lonely kind of furious sorrow: all that time feeling alone and Adora didn't bother to understand is written on her face.

The tears are still flowing, but as she turns away they shift back to their present selves. Adult Catra looks totally alone, heartbroken.

Ok but how we REALLY know Catra isn't telling the truth is this: almost word for word, this moment exists in episode 1. ANY time you see that happen in this show, you need to look back to find the meaning of it.

>We will need to look in totality of this scene in episode 1: An excited Catra pounces on Adora, asking her what SW said. She sees the badge and takes it. Here's a funny thing, because we see Catra jump on Adora you might think Catra is always like this, she just comes into Adora's space as she pleases. But once Catra has the badge, we see no anger or jealousy. Just total wonder. She shows nothing but exuberation and happiness for Adora's promotion (pic 1, lower left fyi).

Catra knew this could be the turning point she's been waiting for, that Adora was due for promotion. And so she's jumping all over Adora, full of joy. We only see her attitude change once Adora tells her SW isn't letting her go on missions. And so, we can infer a lot of information from this...

Catra expected this moment to change their lives for the better. That Adora's rising in rank means freedom, the beginning of something new. Some many new things, in Catra's case. But Catra definitively shows us in this scene that she doesn't desire the success for herself. She only shows happiness for Adora, for them together, and she's ecstatic. (pic 1, fyi)

This, in Catra's mind, probably means the start of their romantic lives. If Adora is the force captain that brings them to victory, SW won't be able to just trample all over their lives. Catra can begin letting down some walls, maybe even let Adora pursue her romantically. If they're together, and Adora is on her side because of that, she becomes safe from her abuser. It's a much better outcome than trying to fight SW, but that's not how the story goes. No, Adora leaves her instead. How's that for emotional whiplash? All of these truths are laid bare in s3ep5, when we see Catra's perfect reality, when she and Adora are together romantically. Catra only wants to be safe and to be loved, but when Adora leaves her she loses trust in the goodness of Adora, and in people in general.

> Adora tells Catra she shouldn't be surprised she's been cut of of the mission because she's so rude to SW, to which Catra responds by calling Adora a people pleaser, then storming off in anger...

::Note, as this is important: Adora is taking SW’s side, and not Catra’s, which is entirely opposite of their early childhood memory of Octavia. It shows how Adora had started listening to the negative judgements others placed on Catra...

>Adora goes after Catra, finding her sulking on the roof. Catra is angry, betrayed by the world, at the injustice that SW is in her life. Adora asks "I didn't even think you wanted to be a force captain?" Catra tossed the badge at her, saying she doesn't. Then she folds her body up, holding herself. Adora sees this, but doesn't touch her. She's being careful to respect Catra's boundaries. But the anger Catra feels here isn't about being denied the chance to be a force captain, it's at all the hurt that SW has dealt her and continues to do so. And Adora doesn't see that, which disappoints Catra. But, she's unable to verbalize it herself, she is too insecure in her emotional vulnerability, so she lets it slide.

What we have here is two different instances of the same question with two different answers, but in both cases Catra is telling the truth. In episode 1, it's the truth that she doesn't care about being a force captain because of her love for Adora, and the promise, in her mind, that they will eventually be together. In episode 11, Catra then says she lied, and this now is also true: Catra did think about what she was going through, all the pain and sacrifices she made for Adora, which were done in the name of love. But Adora doesn't love her the way that Catra loves Adora, instead leaving her behind. And so now that Adora didn't ever see how excellent a person Catra actually was, how dedicated to her she is, and the pain she was willing to bear for her sake, it does matter. Because that's shitty of her, and so now Catra will survive on her own by her own excellence, her strength that Adora never stopped to see. So Catra is guilting Adora, trying to make her see how blind and unfeeling she is.

>Back to ep11: Catra tries to walk away from Adora, who desperately chases her, trying to understand why Catra is becoming so distant, wanting her to tell her what's wrong. She reaches out for Catra's shoulder in one last attempt to get Catra to talk, she knows touching Catra could maybe get her to be more open. But the truth is Adora has been far too easy on Catra, she needs to be more forceful if she wants Catra to talk, which she later comes to understand... she's been coddling Catra, and so Catra is allowed to wallow in her unhealthy mental states.

Catra takes Adora's hand, forcefully holding it away from her and delivering a hurtful line: "Why do you think I gave the sword back to you in the fright zone? I didn't WANT you to come back, Adora!" This hits Adora like a load of bricks, her dismay is evident. And it's all true, which is the sad part. Catra was already preparing to cut ties with Adora, as even by that point she had come to a realization, a decision: if Adora doesn't want to be with her, then she'll do it herself. She will do the hard things on her own.

She turns away from Adora, looking hurt and betrayed. And Adora is at a complete loss, she doesn't know this side of Catra, this part of her that has survived hardship all these years... she lets her leave, not knowing what to do.

Adora is then attacked by the security, which takes up her time. As that happens, we see memories only shown to Catra. Catra runs, emotionally overwhelmed as all the unfair judgements, the abuse, and hollow apologies ring out around her. All the years of frustration and sadness weigh on her, she tries to keep it together, lashing out at the holograms. She falls to her knees, fighting back emotion and trying not to cry, her inner, vulnerable self is near the surface, and she's trying not to break down in tears over all of the hurt she's had to bear...

… and then she hears soft crying...

She turns to see her younger, tiny self, crying. Then, a tiny Adora joins the tiny Catra. Unlike the other memories, Catra never flashes into her younger self, she just watches...

The tiny Adora pulls the blanket down, Catra hisses at her... Adora sits down next to her tenderly. And we finally get the promise, the two parts that Adora has so tragically broke...

Adora tells her "It doesn't matter what they do to us, you know? You look out for me, and I look out for you... nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other." The tiny Catra looks at Adora, wanting to trust her, to believe in her. As she says the question, present Catra echos it: "You promise ?" This was a sacred moment that gave Catra hope as a young orphan, that maybe she would be ok.

And so, the present Catra echoes it. Adora tells her she promises, as the skeptical present Catra looks on. Tiny Catra is still sad, insecure... she hugs Adora, needing this. Adora suggests they go back out to play... and we see tiny Catra look at her, still afraid, reluctant, wanting to stay. But she decides to trust Adora, and so they walk out, holding hands. Then something unique happens. Tiny Catra stops to look up at her present self: note, this is entirely a unique moment in the simulation, it never happened in reality... and yet Catra is given this moment...

The innocent child stares up Catra, making her see her. It's a look full of meaning, it doesn't carry any specific emotion... only innocence. Catra is having an inner child moment. That most deep and innocent part of her, her vulnerable self who feels love, is communicating with her. It's asking her to see it's vulnerability, and it's pain. Catra sees this, all of the pain Adora has caused her, the breaking of the promise, the promise that this innocent part of her was holding on to desperately with hope. She is forced to acknowledge Adora's disloyalty to her, her carelessness. Catra is reflecting on how she did her absolute best to keep that promise, even after Adora failed to look out for her in SW's chamber. Catra was so loyal and so good to Adora all of their lives; she made sure Adora had a good life, and she played by SW's rules so Adora could be the chosen one, wanting to protect her. All in the hope that they would be together, and that their love was real. But Adora couldn't even do that much, she left her. And Adora doesn't understand her, she doesn't even seem to miss her.

[pic 9: Broken Promises, Catra’s inner child, The Hero goes Her Own Way].

Present Catra watches her tiny self leave, coming to the tough realization: that she's never been able to trust Adora, not really. Her love isn't reciprocated, not by her standards.

…. which makes Adora a deeply unsafe person to Catra...

Catra survived SW's abuse, learning to believe in herself, protect herself because no one else would. All while keeping this hope of love in her heart, this vulnerable core of herself that has tenderness and loves Adora, and needs love back. But, her need for love goes to such a deep vulnerability that giving in to it and then again being rejected or forgotten by Adora would simply destroy her. SW held the threat of death over Catra’s head her entire life, and Catra resisted it, got through it by being tough and trusting in herself. So now she sees she can't trust Adora: everything that happened since she left her behind, the fact that Adora always treats her as an enemy, that she seems to show no lingering desire for her, and doesn't even seem to miss her while replacing her with new friends, seems to confirm her worst fears. Fears that have been building over the years, starting when Adora broke their promise in SW's chamber, and then as Adora pursued her success while accepting praise and privilege from SW, ignoring the abuse Catra bore because of it. She decides she can't trust Adora. Love is a lie, a weakness. A weakness that could destroy her last bit of individuality, and belief in the world.

And so, Catra, The Survivor, makes the decision... in her mind it's the brave one, just like way back when and she decided to bravely stand up to SW's abuse and not let it destroy her: she will stand up to the threat that is the weakness of her love for Adora. Adora is selfish, she doesn't deserve Catra's love. She was stupid to believe that love was even possible, for someone like her… who has always been ignored, and told she is unworthy of praise or even existence. There's only one thing left for her to do: she will be alone, strong on her own, for herself.

Her gaze hardens... that part of her that has made sure she survived SW's abuse, and made sure she won fights when she was threatened, is now the decider. It will protect her from her vulnerability, and reject Adora for her. I suppose you might be confused as to what I'm referring, or maybe not... If you haven't had to fight for your life, whether physically, mentally, or otherwise, you might not know this side of yourself well. But we all have it, it's The Survivor. And while I knew mine would protect me, I didn't accept it as my real self, I didn't accept its necessary but vicious deeds as my own. This is very much how Catra is, and as the series goes on she puts this survivor in charge of more and more decisions, we watch her deteriorate as this part of her gets out of control, protecting her from darkness with more darkness. All the while her vulnerable inner self suffers, watching the horrible deeds and becoming more and more alone, desperate for affection.

>Adora is outnumbered, eventually ending up hanging from the cliff's edge by spider webs. She hears Catra return, dealing with the spiders. Adora looks up, hopeful because Catra has returned...

Catra saunters in. Let me say a few things before we go through this part: Catra is about to say a lot of things that aren't really true. They are instead meant to be hurtful to Adora, Catra is being intentionally mean. We shouldn't take her exact words as her authentic beliefs, because they're not... no, Catra is doing what she believes she has to so she can be apart for Adora, and be safe from her. The truth is, Catra needs to be away from Adora. She's too scared of the vulnerability that is her love for Adora, because Adora hasn't shown her that she cares. And she can't do that by defecting, no, she must stay with the Horde. It's the only thing she feels there is left for her to do.

Now, let's go through this: and heads up: I'm getting at something very powerful that's going on here that you may not have realized. This speech is, in fact, a heroic moment. A heroic moment... for Catra. Not Adora, for Catra. And you just need to open your ears to hear it...

"Hey Adora."

🎶 is sad

"Catra! Help me, please!"

"This thing wouldn't work for me if I tried, would it? It only works for you... then again, you're special... that's what Shadow Weaver always said..."

🎶 is melancholy

"Catra, what are you doing??"

"Ah, ya know, it all makes sense now... you've always been the one holding me back... you wanted me to think I needed you, you wanted me to feel weak."

🎶 has even tone

"Every hero needs a sidekick, right?"

"Catra that's not how it was.."

🎶 rises, falls, sad (“Promise” begins playing)

*Catra chuckles* "The sad thing is I've spent all this time hoping you'd come back to the Horde... when really you leaving was the best thing that EVER happened to me..."

🎶 lowers, is dark, is dramatic. -Note: we see Catra seemingly become deranged as she says this line. This is Catra deceiving herself out of perceived necessity.

"I am so much stronger than anyone... ever... thought." *she cuts part of the web*

🎶 begins to rise, uplifting

"I wonder what I could have been if I'd gotten rid of you sooner." *she cuts the rest of the web, Adora falls, catching herself*

🎶 rises, is dramatic

"I'm sorry! I never meant to make you feel like you were second best. Please, don't do this."

🎶 is still rising, uplifting

*Catra stands proudly, nobly, looking at the sword. She looks down at Adora, then she casually tosses the sword past her...

🎶 is rising, hopeful, heroic.

"Bye Adora, I really am going to miss you..."

🎶 is heroic, violins now playing, adding depth

*Catra turns and walks away from Adora, proudly*

🎶 has risen to its height, crests, is heroic.

"Catra... Catra, no!!"

🎶 remains high, cresting, heroic

*Adora cries, sad, confused by Catra's leaving her...*

🎶 crests again, fades out...

Ok, so... let's talk about what just happened here. The undeniable conclusion is that this was meant to be a heroic moment, and a damn heroic moment... for Catra. The writers are telling us that Catra leaving is an important part of her hero’s journey, and that it was the right thing to do. You might be wondering, how can that be? The short answer is, Catra is on a hero’s journey unlike all the other hero’s journeys normally portrayed in fiction. All of it, even her darkest deeds, all her cruelty towards Adora, will be part of a very... important... and powerful... journey. One which will forge her into a hero in this series, in her own incredible right... how this is, what she is, is yet to be revealed... but make no mistake, she's a hero. Just not the one you expect…

We see Adora open her eyes, and see Light Hope. She tells Adora to let go. She means of her emotional attachments, as we find out. Adora cries for her lost Catra, that she couldn't bring her back to her. She lets go...

BIG ASSERTION TIME: Now, I know it's a common theory that these memories were all just an elaborate manipulation by Light Hope to divide the girls from each other, but I don't agree with that. No, I believe this was a memory journey guided by Catra, subconsciously, to help her tell Adora why she couldn't come with her, why she has to be apart.

Take for instance the memories and visions that Adora sees when she's on her way to the Heart of Etheria in season 5: this system exists apart from Light Hope, who dies at the end for season 4. This simulation comes from somewhere more primal: in my belief, it is the deep magic of Etheria being visualized through the First One's tech. We see the simulation show Catra the promise memory, something Adora isn't shown at all, and then allows her to see her inner child's hurt. Something deeper is going on here, and you should consider how strongly the magic of Etheria is resonating with Catra when it does. Because the magic of Etheria will again speak directly to Catra, this isn't the last time... In short, the magic helps the two of them to understand each other, because Catra is an important part of Adora's true She-ra journey.

I also believe that a theme of this series is that abusers, like L. Hope, are not perfect vindictive manipulators. They are flawed, and L. Hope in particular, I believe, is no genius: she fails time and time again. That L. Hope uses the moment to get Adora to let go is her using the moment to her advantage, she didn't play ultimate control over it. She just piggy backed on Catra's hurt to do it. So that last memory really was for Catra... Furthermore, I simply cannot believe L.Hope would understand the concept of the inner child… as she can't even understand sarcasm.

But now, because of this, Adora now knows of Catra's pain... and this is the beginning of Adora's long journey back to Catra, of her repairing their bond…

Let's address the obvious counterpoint: Adora now knows that Catra is hurt, but she doesn't yet understand why. And it's not really her fault, as Catra doesn't know how to talk about her feelings, among other things. But it's apparent that Adora doesn't remember these crucial memories as well as Catra does, even though they were critical in her development as well. Adora is a mess of emotions, just like Catra, and (if) she has ADHD, it might be one reason why she doesn't really get Catra. Especially if her parental figure has been manipulating it against her. Adora very much vibrates between stimuli anxiously, so SW might have made her forgetful by distraction over time. Also, the way in which Adora treats Catra as an enemy when she doesn't accept Adora’s (totally rushed, afterthought, and hollow) ultimatum that she defect with her, is a reflection of Adora's ingrained Horde war training… this is something she has to unlearn, as it is wrong. But Adora is a good person, she really, truely, is, because Adora never stops trying to make it better. And so, she slowly, but surely, comes to understand Catra’s trauma.

We get one last scene of Catra returning to the fright zone. We get to see Catra's truth here: She walks, as if she's not even there, she's deadened by the sorrow and the inevitability of what her life will now be: one of hard work, and zero joy. She will try her best to stand on her own, and put Adora out of her heart, slamming its doors shut against love. It doesn't work, but that's what she's trying to do, nonetheless. This is the beginning of a profound depression that builds over the next 3 seasons, and combined with new traumas, nearly takes her life.

But the tech Catra has brought back will end up giving her what she needs to face down and depose SW, just like she needed...

::Here is another complicated twist that's so essential to She-ra as a series: Catra, in fact, protects Adora by taking down SW. Catra may go on to command the Hordes forces so effectively that it pushes the Princess alliance harder than it's ever been pushed before, but her deposing SW is extremely important in the story. She both removes SW’s ability to attack Adora, and then denies her any sorcerous power by taking the Black Garnet from her, since SW needs an external source to draw power from in order to use her vampiric powers...

Ok so more theory time: it's a common belief that Catra stays with the Horde, and goes on to try to conquer the world out of some deep need to externally validate herself, and to prove she was the better child by beating Adora. I don't think any of these explanations are true. Catra may go on to play such a character on a surface level, but every time she professes to have any such ambitions, she is either in the presence of Adora, or under incredible stress. In the one case, she's saying those things to try to hurt Adora, and make her see how naive and foolish Adora always was, especially now that Adora thinks she can fight against her.

In the other case, it's actually her survivor mechanism trying to take over, to make her world safe. In every case where Catra says something about ambition, somewhere in that scene, Catra shows the distinct emotions of her true inner self: generally, these emotions are sorrow, fear, and loneliness. They don't exist on screen long, they are what is known as micro expressions. (See below for a short discussion of Catra’s micro expressions.)

To put it simply, the only reason Catra stays with the Horde is so she has somewhere she can be separate from her feelings and heartbreak over Adora, and then she climbs the ranks in order to find safety, first from SW, and then Hordak, once he threatens her life with his temper tantrums. That she fights against Adora is just a collateral consequence, she isn't out to get Adora, but nor does she care if Adora gets hurt, because she’s hurt her. Catra does fight against the princesses, though (including She-ra).

A core feature of Catra's character is indeed one of personal power. She's a person who is told to hurry up and die at an early age, but refused to do so. So her arc, her issue, isn't a cautionary tale about chasing validation, it's about her overcoming her fear of vulnerability and allowing herself to rely on others in a way that lets her be safe without needing to combat the darkness with more darkness. But vulnerability scares her because of the abuse she experienced.

As for validation, the only person she would want that from is Adora. This is because Catra believes in herself already: that she has a sacred right to exist, no matter what SW and others may tell her (note: Adora struggles with this, she's actually the one who seeks validation). But, she also needs love, and she is too fearful that Adora doesn't really love her and is afraid of being hurt by that. It's also why I think she's so chaotic towards Adora: her inner child tells her adult self to protect her from her love for Adora, which it tries to do, but that same child misses and needs Adora in so many ways. So she's trying to be mean to compensate for the incredible desire she feels towards Adora. I love it when Adora calls her a brat in season 5, it's such a well deserved line, mmhhmmm.

Actual discussions of how these particulars play out in the show are better left for another time, but there you have it.

Promise sidebar discussions: Catra’s micro expressions; Catra nearly dies at the Battle of Bright Moon

“White Out” microexpression discussion: [see pics below] This is the first time since the Battle of Bright Moon that Catra and Adora meet. So it's a good time to talk about Catra’s micro expressions. Picture 1: Adora says “Hey, Catra” out of the blue and Catra is completely blindsided, she figured she wouldn't be bothered out in the middle of nowhere. She's anxious and unhappy to be seeing Adora. Along with her suspicious absence the episode before in “Roll With It”, the answer is obvious: Catra has been avoiding Adora. She may have cut ties with her in “Promise”, nearly bested her at the Battle of BM, but she doesn't want to see her. She doesn't know what she feels about her.

Picture 2: Enraged monsters are decimating the base, and a battle breaks out over the corrupted disc. Catra is desperately trying to protect it, because she can control Adora if she has it... and she needs this chance to have her back. As Catra reaches to pick it up, she's facing away from everyone and so no one can see her desperation and sadness from missing Adora. (pic 2) Shortly after, we also see her clutch the disc desperately to her chest in a way that's very endearing, right before the monster attacks her and makes her drop it. Then, as she's about to die in its jaws because she doesn't want to give Adora up again, Scorpia breaks the disc and saves her life. We see in this episode as Catra completely loses track of her emotions, and now realizes she has to come to terms with the fact that she's so desperately sad from missing Adora, she was willing to die just for a chance to have her back.

Pic 3: Catra hates working for the Horde. She HATES it. She gets zero joy from the job, and she’s already figured out that Hordak will kill her if she screws up too badly. She didn't want this job, plain and simple, but now feels stuck with it. None of this is the life she wanted. Combining this knowledge against Catra’s declaration to Adora at the end of Promise, we know she's not happy that she had to go her own way...

Catra’s near death experience at the Battle of Bright Moon

At the Battle of Bright Moon, Catra leads Adora (She-ra) away. They battle, but then Catra retreats and instead starts listing out every single worst fear of failure she thinks Adora has. It's a dark moment, she's acting much like SW did to them as children, and we watch her manipulation take root in Adora. Finally, her words are too much, and as Catra looks down at Adora's (She-ra's) back, we see Adora become deranged, overcome with her fear of failing everyone... (pic1, above) she picks up a boulder and throws it directly at Catra. Catra is knocked flying, and only by the barest of margins does she keep from falling to her death. Adora nearly kills Catra. And so, as Adora drags Catra up from the cliff and slams her into the wall, we see a totally heartbroken and emotionally crushed Catra. In this moment, Catra believes all of her worst fears are confirmed: Adora only cares about being She-ra, so much so that Adora would kill her in the name of being that hero. Catra uses this moment, this belief, to justify her division from Adora. Sadly, she's wrong... she's ignoring the seriousness of the threat that the battle poses, and as Adora was facing away from her during that moment, she doesn't see the terror and desperation Adora experiences due to her cruel words…

Oh, and one more thing before we go: when Catra says “What, did you really think this was about you ?” SPOILER ALERT: It was. Because She-ra is one big Catradora story… and we love it.

As always, thanks for reading. <3

~EtheriaDearie

P.S. :: as I am new to tumblr, if you enjoyed reading this, please consider giving me a reblogg! Thanks!! 🙇💛

[morosemagick]

Meet me by the River Bend | Finan X Reader One-Shot

Warning: None

Words: 3919

Tagged: @osferth (thanks for that prompts list!!)

It's your favorite place in Wessex. This hidden river bend behind your home in Coccham. Most of the townspeople here don't realize it's back there. Deep enough for you to bathe, and hidden enough for you not to worry about men coming to spy on you.

It's your small touch of paradise.

You've been coming here for years now. When your daily chores are done and you're certain no one will need you, you sneak off to your special place. Sometimes you don't even bathe, just going by to dip your toes in and listen to the river's song. It's the best in the summertime when the water is its warmest and you can dress in your bare minimum while you waste your day doing whatever you choose.

You rather this simple life over anything else.

Until one day you notice someone has found your secret spot.

It takes you a moment, but you recognize this face. He's a warrior for Lord Uhtred, the Ealdorman of Coccham. You've seen him before in town, usually walking around with the Lord's other warriors or drinking at the alehouse.

If you're correct, he's the one they call Finan.

Afraid of being seen, you hide behind a tree to spy on him. It's probably wrong, but you're curious to see what this man is doing in your place. You can see him approach the river, squatting down and putting his fingers into the water to perhaps check its warmth. After a moment or two, he rises, shaking off his wet finger, and then wipes it on his trousers.

What happens next makes your jaw drop.

He starts to strip away his clothing. Starting with the belt that carries his blades and then his shirt. You can't help but gawk as he works at every button till the end, then pulling the shirt off his body. As he bends down to drop his on top of his blades, his body turns till his bareback is facing you.

And the sight of it makes you gasp.

Finan snatches the shirt up and puts it back on, and you manage to hide behind the tree. You try to cover your mouth with your hand, but you're certain you've been caught.

You can hear him pick up his sword, and then you hear the sound of footsteps approaching you, "I know you're out there," he calls out as he creeps closer, "Come out now, and I swear I won't hurt ya."

"I didn't mean to spy on you, Lord, I swear it," You tell him, still cowering behind the tree.

"I'm not a Lord, darlin', no need to hide," Finan is smirking when he comes face to face with you, "If you wanted to watch me bathe, all you needed was to ask."

He's much more handsome than you realized now that he's in arms reach, and suddenly you're blushing uncontrollably, "I was not-"

"I'm only kidding, I swear it," He smiles, holding his arms up in truce, "What is a good Christian woman like yourself doin' alone in a place like this?"

"I was going to ask you the same question," you say, straightening yourself to seem more confident, "How did you find this place?"

"I usually bathe more up the river, but it seems others found my space so I came more down for some peace," Finan crosses his arms, and your eyes can't help but look at his bare chest and the blade you almost forgot he was carrying, "And you?"

"I, uh," You point behind him and chuckle, "Live not far from here. This is my secret place."

"Is it now?"

"It is," You tell him, and he smirks at you, "And I would prefer if you bathed somewhere else."

Finan chuckles, and takes a step forward, "And if I choose not to?"

You're already backed into the tree, so there's nowhere else to go as he hovers over you, "I.. I'll-"

Finan’s smirk becomes a full smile as he laughs and backs away, "I am teasing, darlin', I'll get out of your hair. I wouldn't want anyone to think anythin' of us being alone back here."

"I will not tell, if you don't," The words come out of your mouth so quickly you barely have time to register what you've just told this man.

Finan's brow raises as he crosses his arms again, "Are you propositioning me, lady?"

"No, of course not!" You argue and he smiles again, making your knees feel surprisingly weak, "I only mean to say, if you do not look my way then I will not look yours. We can share this place."

"You wish to share this place with me?" He questions.

"As long as you promise not to look and you stay on your side of this tree," As soon as the words come out you realize what you've asked of this and it's probably the dumbest thing you've done but it's too late because the words have already been spoken, "We keep our eyes to ourselves, deal?"

You put your hand out for him to shake, and a second later he shakes it, "Deal, Lady-"

"Y/N," You tell him with a faint smile, "I am not a lady, I'm just… Y/N."

"Well you have yourself a deal," Finan smirks as he lets your hand go and starts to make his way back to his things, "Just Y/N."

It's the way he looks at you as he walks away that makes you realize you've probably made a very big mistake.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

It rains for the next few days, so you do not return to the river bend until the sun has risen again. You head down at midday to get away from your family for some time. It's hard, being the eldest child. You feel like so much is expected of you, especially in a family of only daughters.

You expect talks of marriage will be in your very near future.

When you arrive at your secret place, Finan is already there. You can tell because there are clothes all laid out neatly as well as a belt with two blades close to the water. As per your pact, you do your best to keep your eyes ahead of you and not spy on the man you've decided to let into your space.

Though you would very much like to look.

You sit by the edge of the water, taking off your shoes so you can stick your feet in the water, and just as you lay back onto the grass you hear water sloshing around and the sound of a certain Irish accent in the air.

"Y/N," You hear Finan call out, and you try your best not to look his way, "Nice seeing you here."

"I'd say the same, but I plan on upholding the promise I made," Finan laughs at your comment, and a smile forms on your face, "I am a good Christian woman, after all."

"Aye, so polite," He laughs some more and you can hear him moving through the water, probably making his way out, "Thank you for not tarnishing my pure reputation."

"I assure your pure reputation will continue to go unscathed," You chuckle and you can hear him getting out of the water, and the sound of swords in sheaths clanging lets you know he's probably getting dressed.

"Do you not wish to bathe today, Y/N?" He asks you, and you can hear his belt clang again.

"No…" You told him in a soft tone, your mood sobering up, "I only came here to escape, that's all."

"Escape what?" When you don't answer you can hear Finan moving around, and before you know it he's standing above you fully dressed, "Escape what, Y/N?"

You smirk at the sight of him, "You've crossed the tree."

"Aye, but my clothes are on," Finan smiles walking to your right and then sitting down next to you, "So are you going to tell me what has happened?"

You sigh and then sit up, pulling your knees to your body as you look out to the water, "I believe my family wishes me to marry soon."

You glance over to Finan, who is also staring at the water when he replies, "Ahh."

"My family is… well, we could use the silver," You explain as you put your arms around your knees and rest your chin on top of them, "I am the eldest, it's my duty to be married into wealth."

"But is being married what you wish?" Finan asks you in a tone that makes you glance his way.

It almost sounds like jealousy.

"I'm not sure," You tell him honestly, "What if he's awful?"

"What if he's hideous?" Finan jokes with brows raised and it makes you laugh, "I'm sure your father will not marry you to a cruel man."

"It's my stepfather who wishes to marry me," You explain, trying to maintain your smile but it's getting hard, "I think he tires of caring for me. I'm almost certain he wishes to be rid of me as soon as possible."

"Sounds like a bastard," Finan mutters in anger, and it catches you off guard. When he notices what he's said, he turns to face you, "I did not mean-"

You can't help but smile, "No, you are right. He is a bastard." Your smile maintains as you turn back to face the water, "I just wish I was free to choose, that's all. It might sound silly but I want to fall in love with a man, not just be forced upon him."

"That doesn't sound silly at all," Finan tells you with a soft voice, "Nothin' wrong with wanting to be loved, Y/N."

"Have you ever been in love?" You turn to ask him and you can see the expression on his face shift, "Finan? Did I say something wrong?"

He looks at your and his lip curls up, and something about the way his eyes stare into yours gives you butterflies like you've never felt before, "I have… a long time ago. Almost another life, even."

"What happened?"

Finan shrugs, looking back at the water as he answers, "I suppose.. it was not meant to be."

"I'm sorry," You tell him sincerely, "That sounds awful," he doesn't answer you immediately, and you wonder if you've maybe struck a nerve with your question. In hopes of redeeming yourself, you add: "Perhaps you will find love again," That catches his attention and it makes you smile, "A better one."

"I hope so as well," Finan answers with a smile much different than the others he's given you during this conversation. Something about it just makes your heart beat double time.

You wonder if perhaps these are the feelings you've been searching for.

You continue to meet Finan daily by the river bend, as long as the sun is out and there is no rain to stop you from leaving your home. You talk about everything and nothing, and over the next few months, you learn so much about each other. Finan tells you about his travels, and what it's like to be a warrior serving Lord Uhtred. Of his friends and fellow warriors, Sihtric and Osferth. You tell him about your family, how your father served in King Alfred's fyrd and did not come home after one battle. How your mother, now a widow, chose to marry a farmer to support her family and had many more children with him. How the man she married treats you more like the help than a daughter.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

Of all the things you speak of, Finan's family and his life in Ireland is never brought up.

You didn't want to push it.

He did, however, tell you of his life as a slave and how he met Lord Uhtred aboard a shave ship. All the things they overcame to be free, and the friends they lost trying to get home. It's how you learn why he chooses to bathe in private.

"There are scars… scattered all over my back," Finan tells you during one of your meetings, "Every time someone sees them, they ask how I got them. I hate talkin' about it… so I bathe alone."

"I didn't mean to-"

"I don't mind telling you, Y/N," he says with a smile, "You are good at secrets, surprisingly enough."

You laugh at his comment, and you stop when you realize Finan is staring at you, "What is it?"

"May I tell you another?" Finan asks in a quiet voice.

"Another… secret?" You question him with a raised brow. Finan nods, his face seeming more serious than you've seen it, "What is it, Finan?"

"I would very much like to kiss you, Y/N," His words make you gasp and you realize he's leaned in closer to you, "May I?"

"But your pure reputation," You smirk but your body is leaning in closer anyway, "We are good Christians, remember?"

"I will not tell, if you don't," Finan smiles as he puts his hand on your face to pull you in.

You glance at his eyes then down to his lips right before you lean in to kiss him, "Deal."

It's not your first kiss, that's for certain, but you've never had someone kiss you with so much passion before. Finan puts his other hand on your face and leans your head back to deepen the kiss. Your hands reach out for his shirt to pull him as close to you as you can, and the two of you fall back into the grass as the kissing intensifies. Finan's tongue slips in your mouth and you moan, his hands moving from your face down to your waist.

He's about to go lower, but you stop him.

You pull away from him with a worried look on your face, "We shouldn't..."

Finan looks a touch embarrassed as he gets up off of you, "I am sorry, Y/N,"

"No, it's not that I don't wish to kiss you," You are quick to explain as you sit back up, "It's just…" You don't wanna tell him, but you know you need to tell him soon before it's too late, "My stepfather has someone coming tomorrow… a potential husband."

"You're to be married?" He looks hurt, more than you anticipated and it hurts.

"I have no choice," Your lip quivers because the look on his face is just killing you, "He wants me gone before harvest."

"Perhaps I should go," Finan says as he jumps to his feet, and you jump up to follow him.

"Finan, Finan wait!" You call out as you chase after him, "I do not want to marry this man-"

"I will bother you no longer, Lady," he cuts you off as he keeps going, but you reach out to grab his arm and make him stop.

"Finan, please," Your voice cracks and you feel your breath starting to stutter, "I will never love this man," Finan doesn't look fully back, but his head is turned enough for you to know you have his attention, "my heart already belongs to you."

"I have nothing to give you, Y/N," Finan explains, keeping his face away from you, "No land, no home... I am just a warrior, loyal to my Lord. Every time we leave there is a chance I will not come home. It is not an easy life."

"I do not want easy," Your eyes start to water as your hand drifts down his arm to his hand, "I want you."

Finan turns back and you find he's also been crying, but there's a slight smile on his lips and it makes you feel a bit better, "Do you now?"

"I do," You smile as the tears fall, "Always."

Finan moves back in to kiss you again, his hands moving frivolously across your body as he backs you up until you eventually hit a tree. His hands are making their way down your skirts as he starts to lift them up, and eventually, they find themself between your legs.

What he does to you next, here by this river bend, is far from Christian.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

You get back home later than you usually do, the sun setting as you walk through the door, and to your surprise, your mother and stepfather are waiting for you, along with another man you do not recognize.

"Where have you been!?" Your stepfather demands before you can even put down your things, "You have been gone for hours!"

"I went to bathe," You explain but your response is only a half-lie; you were indeed in the water… with Finan… and neither of you actually did bathe, "I did not realize how long I was gone."

"It's impolite to make your betrothed wait, Y/N," Your mother explains, and you give her a confused look.

"I do not have a-"

"Y/N, meet Oswald," Your stepfather cuts you off as he turns back to point to the other man in the room, "He has agreed to marry you, and for a mighty fair price might I add."

You look at the man, and then your stepfather with a worried look, "I do not wish to marry him."

"He's already paid the bride price, Y/N," Your mother tells you with a somber look on her face, "You leave for East Anglia in the morning."

"East Anglia?!" You take a step back in your shock.

"I have a lot of land, and plenty of space for all the children we will have," The man… Oswald smiles and it makes you shiver, "I promise you will enjoy being my wife."

"I don't want to marry you," You say again, because the first time was apparently not enough, "I refuse!"

"You cannot!" Your stepfather snaps, "You have been sold, you get no choice!"

"I will not marry this man, and you cannot stop me!" You yell, turning for the door and rushing out before anyone can stop you.

It's pouring now but that doesn't stop you as you make your way into the heart of Coccham in search of the man you much rather be betrothed to. Your first stop is the alehouse, where you know Finan frequents often with his fellow warriors, but he's not there. Instead, your eyes come across the other warriors he's usually with, Sihtric and Osferth.

They are drinking and laughing when you approach them, and you know you must look crazy with your body drenched but you do not care.

The monk-looking Saxon is the first to notice you, a kind smile on his face as he looks your way. He must be Osferth, "May we help you, lady? You seem troubled."

"You are Osferth and Sihtric, yes?" You ask as you look between the two of them, shaking in your soaked clothing, "Do you know where Finan is?"

"Ah, you must be Y/N," The Dane warrior, Sihtric, smiles as he turns to face you, "You just missed him, he's gone to meet with Lord Uhtred."

"Please, can you find him for me?" You ask out of breath, hoping they recognize the panic in your voice, "Tell him to meet me by the river bend, he will know what that means."

"Is there something wrong, Y/N?" Osferth asks as he and Sihtric exchange worried looks.

"I have no time to explain, please, promise me you'll tell him," You tell him and they both nod to each other and rise.

"We will, lady, we swear it," Sihtric tells you as he taps Osferth's shoulder and the two of them leave the alehouse with haste.

You only hope they find him in time.

It's still pouring, but it doesn't stop you from waiting in the rain for Finan to arrive. You wait behind a tree, the same one you hid behind the first time you saw him. You have been alone for a while, and part of you is starting to worry he will not show.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

Perhaps you have made a mistake?

Perhaps he does not love you as you thought?

The fear makes you nauseous. You had just given this man all you had to give, your womanhood slipped through your fingers to the sound of his soft words and even softer fingers. Now you wonder if all that happened was only so he could find his way between your legs.

Tears form in your eyes, and now you feel silly for waiting out here in the rain for a man who probably doesn't love you.

You want to move from where you're leaning against the tree, except you can't because your body slides down to the ground and you can help but sit there and cry. Crying like a child, as the tears on your face blending in with the rain hitting your face.

"Y/N?" The voice you hear calling out for you makes you jump for your feet, hiding behind the tree in hopes not to be seen. It's your stepfather, and he has found your secret place, "Y/N you show yourself this instant!"

You cover your mouth so he doesn't hear you crying, or breathing for that matter, and pray to God that he doesn't find you. You can hear footsteps walking nearby and your heart is beating double time as your eyes shut tight in fear, but then you feel a hand across yours.

"Do not fear, Y/N, it's me," Finan's voice whispers as your eyes open quickly. There's a serious look on his face, his eyes peeking around the tree, "He's leavin'."

You both stand there in silence for a while, Finan's eyes watching your stepfather and yours watching Finan. Sometimes passes, and then Finan sighs as his eyes drift back to you.

"He's gone," Finan tells you as his hand moves from over yours to over your cheek, "Are you alright?"

"You came for me," You tell him in shock as your hand lowers to your side.

"Of course I did, Y/N," Finan smiles as he rubs your cheek with his thumb, "I love you."

"You do?" Your eyes are watery again but this time your tears are joyous.

"Aye," He nods as he leans in for a quick kiss, "I do, and I will not let you marry the man that bastard has chosen."

"His name is Oswald," You explain to him with a frown, "He's already paid the bride price…"

"And I plan on offering more," Finan explains with a smirk, "I have borrowed silver from Lord Uhtred. Whatever that man had paid, I will pay double."

"I cannot possibly be worth that much," You chuckle in disbelief over what he's told you, but Finan just smiles, "I am just Y/N."

"No," He shakes his head as he leans in to kiss you again, "You are everything, Y/N."

It must be true because you return back to your family's home with Finan where he offers just that for your hand in marriage and your stepfather and Oswald agree for the exchange. You do not return to that house again, because that place is no longer your home.

And the next time the sun shines again, you and Finan return again to the river bend. Where you share this special place with those you both care for the most, as they gather together to watch you two marry.

Here, in this place, special to you always.

[thirsty-lakedream]

The Renaissance Fair Champion

The echoes of clashing metal on metal excited the crowds as the two men in the pit fought for ultimate glory. One of the two, a handsome brunette who was barely wearing anything, parried the thrusts of his opponent with agile precision. Finally, with one powerful swing, he disarmed the other man wearing clunky chain mail, his weapon flying across the arena. The crowd could hardly contain themselves as the champion protected his title of blade master of the Renaissance Fair.

The man playing the king of the court waved his hand to address the show-goers. “And the winner of this duel, the fearless knight who is so brave he refuses to wear much armor, Anthony the Strong!” 

The hunk raised his sword in the air basking in the glory. The sweat on his body made a glisten that one may believe he was a god among men, with the skills to boot. 

After the show was done, ‘Anthony’ retired to a private tent for the renaissance actors to take a break after their shows. He set his sword on the table, taking a seat on a stool to strip off his arm and leg guards, the only thing he wore to his battles. Staring at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t help but get a hard-on with his own chiseled appearance. It wasn’t every day he looked this hot, he could probably get anyone he wanted with this killer body and winning grin. No wonder the people playing Anthony never wore any body-mail, because who would want to hide pecs like these?

“Kevin, amazing job out there!” Another man wearing regal medieval cloth stormed into the tent, happy that his show went perfectly as planned.

“Thanks, it was a blast. Did you hear the crowd, they couldn’t get enough of Anthony.” He kissed his massive biceps.

“You mean you, that was all you out there! Listen, I know you’ve been on the fence about joining us on our fair circuit, but you're the best Anthony we’ve had in quite a while. What do you think about joining us full time?”

As much as the person within loved being Anthony, the Adonis warrior of the Renaissance Fair, he still had doubts about leaving his hometown. “I’ll think about it, James.”

Just then a phone on the table went off. As Anthony read the message, his face sank. “Oh no, my friend just texted me he was in an accident on the other side of town!”

“But you can't just leave. Anthony has another show in half an hour!”

“Can’t you find someone else to play him?”

James looked annoyed but shrugged. “All the other regulars are busy today...I guess I can take over for the rest of the day.”

“Thank you!” The joyful pleas sounded weird coming from such a masculine brooding man.

“Yeah yeah. Just leave him and I’ll be back to put him on.” When James left the tent, Anthony got to work undressing what little garments he had. Standing completely naked, Anthony took one last look at his flawless body. Then began pulling his mouth apart. He continued stretching his face unnaturally, until ‘shlorp!’ The once beautiful face of Anthony was pulled back, revealing the scrawny and unimpressive Kevin inside. He slipped off the rest of the body suit, losing Anthony’s majestic muscles and size for his own stick body. 

Released from the fake body, Kevin posed the empty man on the seat, his dead eyes staring forward like a doll. Still erect from the feeling of being Anthony, Kevin almost decided to stay and become the hunk once again, but his friend needed him. Getting dressed in his street clothes, he took one more look at the lifeless guy, then left the tent.

After a moment, making sure the tent was completely empty, Ethan stepped out of his hiding place. “That was easy.” Both Ethan and Kevin were nerds who dreamed of having the perfect body, but no matter how much they worked out, they could never reach their goal. Every year they went to the renaissance fair, imaging themselves as the strong men who brandished swords and axes and caught the eyes of everyone at the fair. Though unlike Kevin, Ethan looked with more than admiration for these mighty studs. Ethan was bi but in the closet, and over the years fell for Anthony and his confidence with a blade. Whenever they attended the event, Ethan's secret highlight was watching the sword show where his dream man won every time. 

This year, however, Kevin last-second dropped the plans with a half-assed excuse. At first, Ethan just planned on staying home, but he eventually decided to go by himself in the hopes of seeing the champion win again. Then after watching Anthony’s incredible victory, Ethan finally built the courage to ask him out for coffee after. Instead, he found out his crush was nothing more than a costume being piloted by the friend that ditched him.

Ethan came up to Anthony, hardly believing that it was nothing more than a realistic skin suit. “Hi Anthony.” He obviously didn’t respond. “Why should I let Kevin have all the fun?” Ethan knew he didn’t have much time before that other guy would be back to take over Anthony. Quickly, he stripped off all his clothes from his small body and began pulling on Anthony.

As he stuck his foot into Anthony’s mouth, Ethan was washed by a feeling of euphoria. Even though he read stories of body suits, it was completely different experiencing it for himself. Though the outside was as real as a normal person, the inside had this unique rubber feel that hugged his leg in all the right ways. It was even still warm from its last occupant, and the faint smell of Kevin’s musk lingered within. 

Ethan pulled on the rest of the body, impressed by the newly acquired muscles and hung dick. Before pulling on the face, he couldn’t help but admire himself in the mirror. He could hardly grasp the reality of his head on such a stunning body. He had jacked off to the thought of Anthony before, but actually becoming him, he could hardly control his erection from growing an astounding 10 inches, twice as big as he could go normally. 

Finally, he took the misshapen head around his neck, pulling it over his own face. In an instant, Anthony was back, but this time it wasn’t Kevin inside. The veil between suit and real person was practically nonexistant. Ethan, now Anthony, caressed his glass-cut jawline. He always wanted facial hair like this, but could never grow it so rugged. His hands began to move lower, wrapping around his penis and starting to pump.

“You're still in there, Kev?” James returned, looking confused as a still lively Anthony was managing his erection the only way he could.

“Yeah, I got a call from my bud and he actually doesn’t need me.” The memories from Anthony began to flow into my mind, and I realized that James was the manager of the whole fair.

“Oh.” There was disappointment in his voice, envious that he didn’t get a turn as the sexy man. Who wouldn’t though?

“Actually, I was thinking about what you said and I will gladly take over Anthony from now on!”

“Really that’s great!” 

From outside the tent, a person dressed as a peasant called out, “5 minutes before the next show!” 

Anthony finished the first of many fantastic sessions with himself, then he grabbed his sword and put on the few prices of armor. Ethan, now posing as his friend, was ready for his new life as the champion of the renaissance fair. Let's just hope the suit will give him the same prowess with a sword that the previous Anthonys had.

[loz-dawn-to-dusk]

More Fun Facts about Link since I don't wanna leave y'all hanging yet I can't post anything of substance today

Just more fun facts about my link from my Au Dawn of light. I realized that it has been a while since I posted anything here and while I do have a viable reason(life is really getting in the way) I still wanted to give y'all...something! So that is what this post is all about

Today I will be telling you more about our little 10 year old Hero so here we go!

----

1. He is Genderfluid. He mostly sticks with he/him pronouns, but he can have his moments (which are slowly becoming more common since the completion of his adventure) where he wishes to go by she/her pronouns or even they/them. Most of the people in his village and others he told respect this (or he just hasn't said anything so they don't know), but not everyone does. Who doesn't? I'll let y'all decide that

2. Has a British accent because I found it slightly weird that Zelda was one of the few if not the only one in BOTW who had one so I'm fixing it to be most hylians have british accents (not all, but most)

3. Has a little Blupee as a pet. It doesn't stick around and pretty much comes and goes, but it does listen to him and responds when he calls it so many consider it to be his pet

4. Left Handed. Was taught to be right handed so while his left hand is still his strongest, he can use both just fine

5. Yes, he can cook! His mother taught him, and his favorite thing to make are pies (has a huge sweet tooth and will often have a pie or two sitting in his slate)

6. Bad mouthed. You wouldn't think so based on his appearance and how he acts, But boy can this kid cuss up a storm. Despite getting in serious trouble for it multiple times he just doesn't seem to stop (Zelda is convinced he just does it to piss others off)

7. Bombs. They are his best friend. That is all

8. When he is feeling insecure, or gets overwhelmed, he will cover his face with his hair. Even if he is more confident with his eyes showing, it still helps him feel better just feeling his hair brush against his face. So it's a pretty big sign that something is wrong

----

Ok I think that is enough fun facts for now. The next Post will hopefully come out soon and to keep you updated it will be about the Master Sword and its presence in this AU! Next post after will hopefully be introducing Zelda! See you guys next time!

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Hey! Have no idea on what in talking about? Then view my last two posts and meet Link and learn a bit about this AU!

Meet Link!⬇️

Find out what this au is about! ⬇️

[kuronanox]

Captains harem ft. Julius

(Your name) didn't know why but today all the captains and Julius were asking for attention, it creeped her out because she was nothing special. It was as if they were all fighting for her.

Nozel invited her out for tea.

Fuegoleon offered to take her to a nice hot springs

Kaiser didn't he have a wife???¿¿¿

Rill told her "draw me like one of your French girls."

Jack was just a psycho but wanted to cook with her.

Charlotte suggested taking a girls trip to shop.

William wanted to watch the little birds and nature and even offered to show his giant tree.

Yami straight up just asked her to date him.

Dorothy wanted to take a long nap.

Julius followed her around like a little stalker he is for his own amusement

Mereoleona also threaten to beat some sense in her head if she didn't want to drink with the royal.

"Why are they all so pushy today? I've rejected all of them can't they take the hint? I mean.... I'm sure they don't like me!" (Your Name) tells Marx as they sat in his office.

"Oh thanks captains for not doing any work today, unbelievable. But you are a pretty lady. I can't see why not?" Marx tells her while separating some papers.

"Yami asked me to date him but I'm sure Charlotte is in love with him so no thanks." (Your Name) states leaving the office bored out of her mind. "Maybe picking one of their offers wouldn't be to bad."

Strolling down the hall she comes across Julius. "Yo!" She calls out running towards him. "(Your Name)!" He cheers!

"Come to the captains meetings today! We have lots to discuss!" Julius tells her with sparkles in his eyes. "Ugh are you sure?"

"Yes of course! Other members will also be there!"

"Okay! I'll see you later then!" She smiles as Julius pats her head and watches her leave.

Going back to her room she laid in bed thinking about all the invites she got today.

"Hmm Nozel and Tea? That doesn't sound bad but boring, I'm not even a royal. I'm sure he invited me out to talk some smack.

Fuegoleon and hot springs?! I get to see his abs and hair wet. Count me in!

Kaiser just no.

Rill is cute but I can't draw maybe he can draw me instead?

Jack.... what would we cook? Sweet offer though I would actually like to.

Charlotte is so pretty, I would look like the maid if I went out shopping with her.

William is a little simp, maybe I could use that? Seems tempting.

Yami, no? Charlotte would kill me.

Dorothy would not wake up if we took a nap together.

Julius?¿ would he be considered my Sugar daddy? AHH!

Drinking with Mereoleona seems fun! Drinks on her though, I don't got that salary."

After thinking about everything she walked into the Captains meeting and took a seat next to Asta, Noelle, Leopold and Yuno. "Why are we here?" She asks them.

"Maybe we are moving up in ranks!" Asta yells excited to see all his hard work pay off.

(Your Name) looks up to see Nozel looking dead straight into her eyes. "Noelle, has your brother always had a staring problem?"

Noelle blushes and flips her hair. "Nii Sama would never do something like that!"

"I guess so, dude has been looking at me for the past 5 minutes." (Your Name) states looking away to catch Jack licking his lips.

"O.o" she reacts and looks away awkwardly.

"Why is all the Captains trying to get your attention?" Yuno asks her as she sighs and laughs holding her head from getting a headache. "I'm not sure, Maybe it's a game they're playing because I'm just the joke!"

William kindly bids her a hello and takes a seat.

"Yer got an answer?" Yami asks now as she looks up to him and back at Charlotte.

"Uhh, no. I mean yes?? NO! My answer is no!" (Your Name) says while looking back and forth. Charlotte was highkey listening to their conversation.

"So you don't wanna date me?" Yami speaks up as all the captains perk up.

"Nonsense, (Your Name) has class and a acquired taste of course she didn't say yes!" Fuegoleon shouts standing on his two feet.

"I don't see her saying yes to you either." Nozel butts in as Yami just deadpan behind them.

"No need to fight! We all know I'm the perfect match for (Your Name)!" Rill exclaims throwing his body to her and embracing it.

"You wish kid!" Jack laughs next to Yami as they argued on who could win her over after.

Charlotte was a mess as she contemplated what to say because Yami liked a girl. "Y-y-yami a-actually li-likes so-som-some one!" She screams fainting.

Mereoleona busts the door open and folds her arms. "Oo I heard my little brother and I are competing to get (Your Name)!"

"Mereoleona, I won't loose to you. I'm the gentleman that will sweep her off the ground." Fuegoloen defends as they shared the same hot passion. "Woah woah woah, older sister and Aniue likes you! I have to tell parents they are fighting over a girl!" Leopold laughs on the floor because his older siblings were acting ridiculous.

Nozel scoffs and removes Rill off (Your Name). "(Your Name) is now my girlfriend." He tells them all as Yami and Jack laugh.

"Nice try bug braid."

"What did you say?!" Nozel furries as William gently slips past them and grabs her hand. "(Your Name) you seem flustered, I can let you escape this mess?" He offered with a mysterious smile under his mask.

"No no William, I see everything." Julius cuts in as he entered through the door.

"I guess Dorothy is out of question, she's been asleep." (Your Name) thinks just staring at all of them argue.

"Am I even pretty?" She asks Asta as he seem overwhelmed with everyone yelling for her attention. "I didn't know you were this popular! SO COOL TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!"

"Bakasta!" Noelle says hitting the little boy. "WHAT DID I DO?!"

(Your Name) was getting a headache from everyone screaming and yelling she jumped onto the table. "HEY! I'M NOT GOING TO GO OUT WITH ANY OF YALL! I GOT A BOYFRIEND!"

"Bo-bo-boyfriend?" Julius says pouting as the other captains settled down.

"What fool do I have to beat?" Nozel cuts in as Fuegoleon cuts in. "What must I do to change your mind."

"What a simp." Leopold whispers, looking at his older brother.

"And who may this nice gentleman be?" William asks clearly intrigued to take the spot away from the man.

(Your Name) looked around the room to think, she didn't have a boyfriend, but she just yelled that to get them to shut up.

Jack was out with his blade and Yami already had his sword ready for action. "Bro."

Getting fluster she stuttered a bit till Marx walked into the room, uneducated about what was happening.

"MARX! He's my boyfriend!"

"HIM?"

"MUSHROOM HEAD?"

"MARX THE ONE WITH NO CHILL!"

"How could you Marx?" Julius says in betrayal.

(Your Name) gives him a stare that made him understand to play along. "Oh! Yeah! I'm her boyfriend!"

"I'll kill you." Yami half jokes as the other captains grumble in disappointment.

"Well let me know when you wanna switch genders." Mereoleona says with a grin before heading out.

"One way or another a royal will get their way." Nozel says.

"I agree, I'll be the man to have you." Fuegoleon added taking Leopold with him.

"Ahh my tree house is always open to you." William invites her with a sly smile.

"Kitchen is open too, I'll cook." Jack says leaving as Yami shakes his head. "Let me know when your mind is changed brat."

"I'll still be checking up on you!" Rill cheers with a big smile.

Charlotte and Dorothy were passed out so no last words came from them.

"Marx, we got lots to discuss." Julius says before taking his leave.

"So the point of this meeting was for?" Yuno says clearly amazed to see how immature the Captains were acting. "Exactly." Noelle agrees taking Asta back to the base. "REMEMBER TO TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!" He yells before out of site.

(Your Name) breathes a sign of relief. "Thanks Marx!"

"Jeez, now they are out for my throat!" He yells not amused he came to the rescue.

"Sorry!" She says sticking her tongue out and running out.

"Where are you going?!"

"To mess with them some more!" She jokes as Marx just signs.

(Author notes: I personally like Fuegoleon the most! :D, this was fun to write! But lowkey idk wtf I just wrote, Not edit yet!)

[red-riding]

A Haunted Cabin? Celegorm x reader

Here is my second piece of writing for @dumbassunderthemountain​ 13 days of spooky writing event for the prompt of haunted house. I was originally going to do something with Thorin but saw a couple other entrees for this prompt with Thorin and wanted to try a different less written about character, Celegorm. I hope you guys like it! It was a tad rushed as today has been pretty busy for me. The plot is odd, but I think it may be fun to read maybe. 

Warning: Slight angst, and curse words. Also a very sassy reader and a flirty ghost? Also unedited for rn

“Go hunting you said! It would be fun you said!” You declared as you continued trucking through the woods following your husband Celegorm. Your boots made a squish noise whenever you took a step, and your clothes felt sticky and damp against your skin due to the down pouring rainstorm above you. 

“Oh shush, I can't navigate with your whining” Celegorm directed. 

“You can't navigate period. We are lost! we are going to die here. Why did I ever agree to go hunting with you?!” You ranted as you followed your husband through a thick line of trees into what seemed to be a field. Celegorm used his elf eyes to scan the horizon looking for a shelter from the rain. 

“I think I see a cabin, We should head over to it. Maybe whoever lives there can give us some directions.” The ellon explained as he began to walk through the muddy field towards the cabin. 

You followed behind him, your boots sticking with each step. Too focused on trying to spot the cabin your husband was leading you to you stepped in a deep puddle of mud, your foot sinking into the sludge. You pulled your foot up and with some effort your foot escaped however your boot was not as fortunate. 

“fuck!” You groaned, as if this day could get any worse.Your husband chucked a little as he turned around and wrapped his arms around you and lifted you up bridal style. 

“there now you can't slow me down” Celegorm teased trying to lighten the mood. With you in his arms Celegorm hiked to the cabin.

When it came into view it appeared to be decrepit and abandoned. Celegorm carried you onto the porch and set you down so he could knock on the door; No one seemed to respond from inside the cabin. 

“Its abandoned.” Celegorm mused as he looked for another entrance or a possible way to break down the wooden door.

“Yeah no shit sherlock.” You articulated as you looked around for a possible key or stone you could throw through a window. While you were both looking around for a possible way to get in, you both heard a loud creek and turned to find the door open. 

“I could have sworn it was locked!” Celegorm explained confused.

“Maybe it was the wind?” You guessed trying to find a possible answer.

Celegorm and you walked through the door cautiously. You held the blond ellons hand tightly as you walked hoping to find some form of comfort. 

The inside of the cabin looked just as worn down and abandoned as the outside, but at least it was dry and would serve as shelter until the rain stoped. As you both tracked through the various rooms of the cabin you could’t shake the spine chilling feeling that you were being watched. 

“Celegorm, something doest feel right.” You whispered. 

“I know sweetheart, but we only need to stay in here for a couple hours until the rain dies down.” Celegorm comforted. 

You finally made your way to what seemed to be the kitchen. While looking around for some food, you accidentally knocked a bowl off the counter onto the wood floor causing it to shatter. 

“Oh now that's it! You come to my house, track mud in it! and break my dishes?!” An mysterious womens voice echoed.

You let out a scream of surprise and Celegorm lets out a gasp. You run to hold your husband as he pulls out his sword.

“Who are you? Show yourself by order of a prince of the Noldor!” Celegorm demanded.

“A prince ayy? I have never met royalty.” the women voice spoke and a spirt drifted through the wall towards your husband and you. “You sure do look handsome like a prince ought to be.” The ghost spoke. You took in the ghosts appearance, it appeared to be an old human women. She had creased skin and her hair was tied into a bun upon her head, you could not tell the color as her whole form was a transparent gray. Despite being a ghost, she was far from terrifying. 

“My name is Margret, and what is yours hot stuff?” Margret flirted to Celegorm as she approached him and preened herslef. You couldn’t find it in you to be jealous, as this was probably the most amusing thing you have seen in a while. Celegorm however seemed to be disgusted by the hags advances. 

“You may refer to me as Prince Celegorm, and my beautiful wife here as Princess y/n” Celegorm spoke. 

“Wife ayyy? I mean she's pretty but you deserve a women with experience, I could teach you things you know baby boy” the women flirted. The face of pure disgust that made its way onto Celegorm's face made you it impossible to stop yourself from letting out a small giggle. 

“I think we will be on our way out, the rain seems to be dying down.” Celegorm spoke as he grabbed your hand, dragging you out away from the perverted old women. You laughed as you followed your husband out of the cabin into the  fading rain.

“aww did the big bad old women ghost scare baby boy prince Celegorm.” You teased in a baby voice as your husband led you to take shelter into some trees. Your husband just groaned in annoyance causing you to laugh even more. Oh boy you could not wait to tell his brother about this when you got home.  

[fifteenskies15]

✧ SaneGiyuu Headcanon: The Married Life of Tomioka and Shinazugawa Sensei (Modern AU) ✧

Admin 15: Why, hello hello, welcome back my fellow SaneGiyuu stans to my mediocre Headcanon, before I get to the point allow me to say a million thanks for the likes and reblogs from the first HC, you guys are beautiful and kind, I love you guys so much, you guys don't have to but still Thank you, thank you and thank you, and for that, I shall gave you all tis simple crumbs I made from the bottom of my (high-key non-existent) heart enjoy the crumbs my friends

⚠ Warning: Implied NSFW ahead, please tread lightly! ⚠

Ay, ay, so let's see... Sanemi and Giyuu are married couples however no students knows but the staff and headmaster know about their relationship...or marriage in general

They live in a simple and affordable house, perfect for two (and even family of four lololol) and quite near the station

Sometime you wonder, who would wake up first? Surprisingly it's Giyuu, Sanemi would still sleeping coz yk, all the students homework he gotta examined and he had to stay up for that shit, poor Nemi sensei.

It's hard to wake him up, Giyuu would gently shake him so that he woke up although it gave him quite a while

So he invented a trick

"Sanemi, wake up, it's five am, we have to get ready"

"I graduated literally few years ago, I don't need school"

Oh you sweet, clueless, stupid, airhead hoe Sanemi Shinazugawa, You're a teacher...

Time to pull out big guns

(Slight NSFW warning)

*insert Giyuu moanin'* "Nemi~ come over to the bathtub with me please"

Needless to say, Sanemi jolt awake and rushed to the bathroom in order to join Giyuu (what a hoe *fifteen has been slayed*)

As nice as sharing a passionate morning baths, it has to end, Giyuu knows how proud his husband is with his body so he let two or three buttons left undo.

But BETCH YOU THOT HE GON SHARE WHAT'S HIS

"As nice to see your chest, you have to remember it's mine too"

And now he's "Jealous"oka Giyuu

Sanemi somehow find jealous Giyuu cute because he would pout, pout and pout.

Baby boy, baby

After dressing up, they had a breakfast together, just a simple bowl of rice and some salt marinated fish

If one of them finished the food first, they'll make the lunch for two

They made a bento, with ohagi, mochi or three coloured dumplings as desert

They didn't forget to brush their teeth after eat, don't worry, bare with them and their morning routine

Before they went to train station, they give MORNING KISSES, mostly on cheeks before they went off.

As they arrived at school, Giyuu immediately took out his bamboo sword and get ready.

"I'll see you at lunchtime, Danna"

"At least give your Danna a kiss before you go, Mr. Shinazugawa Giyuu..."

Giyuu roll his eyes and give his white haired husband a short sweet kiss before he went to the staff room.

Now skip to lunchtime

Giyuu is a bitch

Okay, I take it back!! He ain't a bitch, he just maybe a little late? He was chasing Kamado boy for violating the school rule by wearing that hanafuda earrings

He then decided to stop and join Sanemi having a lunch under the birch tree away from the people eyesight.

"The fuck took you so long, Giyuu?"

"Duty calls to chase Kamado around"

Sanemi roll his eyes, his husband is really stick to his duty seriously,....which is why he love his husband sense of duty.

They ate the bento while cloud watching together, and talk a lot of things, by how the students being whiny and doing stupid things or the commotion that Rengoku and Uzui sensei caused in today's class.

FEEDING EACH OTHER THE SEQUEL

They feed each other's food then even wipe the rice that stuck on the corner of their lips and would sensually licks it away

After they finished their food, they CUDDLE WHILE ENJOYING THE SWAYING WIND, SETTLING COMFORTABLY IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS.

AND PLAYING GIYUU'S HAIR

Giyuu is a small spoon so it's pretty obvious, lol

Sanemi thought Giyuu's Raven hair is so soft and fluffy, he couldn't resist the urge to run his fingers through it

Much soft, very floof, 19/10 would recommend to touch 👌🏻

When the bell rang, Sanemi groaned in disappointment, but Giyuu assure him that they'll see each others soon and give him a kiss on cheek

I'm fully aware of me skipping stuff but I had no choice, forgive me-

When teachers are allowed to go home, the two would take a brief stroll before they went to their home

HAND HOLDING AND WHISPERING THINGS HAD THE FUJOSHIS SQUEAL

When they passed a convinient store, they stopped for a bit in case both of them would cook something different for dinner

Giyuu is aware girls and guys staring at his husband

"Jealous"oka Giyuu pt.2

He wrapped his arms around Sanemi's waist and pouted and spoke in tiny

"ᴄᴀɴ ᴡᴇ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ɢʀᴀʙ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏ?"

Sanemi had UwU attacks and sense his jealousy as people do stare at him and wrap his arm on Giyuu's petite waist

"Yeah sure thing, babe, let's just grab some ingredients and skedaddle"

Right at home, they take liberty on laying on the couch and straighten their legs.

"Sanemi, you smell sweaty"

"Pot calling kettle black, Giyuu"

"Go take a shower"

"No you"

"No you"

20 "no you"s later, they settle things by taking a shower together (again)

((SLIGHT) NSFW WARNING, NOT RECOMMENDED FOR POOR INNOCENT, CLEAN SOUL, IF YOU FIND IT DISTURBING JUST SKIP, FIND AN ADULT OR HIMEJIMA, PLEASE)

Things get a little heat up-

Sanemi can't stop f o n d l i n g that tiddie and pepper Giyuu's sensitive neck with butterfly kisses

His other hand I rather busy down there, ahem.

Sanemi couldn't stop whispering dirty yet sweet things to him, telling how beautiful he is, telling how Sanemi adore him and how Sanemi loves him

That went from 10 to 100 rather quickly

What do you know? They ended up love making in the shower.

The bathroom filled with Giyuu's erotic moans and Sanemi occasionally groans and growls-

Okay, I rest my case, End of NSFW

Once they're completely cleaned up Sanemi carried him with princess style and carefully put him down on their shared bed.

Sanemi dried his hair with a warm and loving smile on his scar decorated face, what did he deserves someone like Giyuu

🎶NEVER MIND I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE GIYUUUU 🎶 (Get the fuck out 15)

"We might miss the dinner you know... I'm sore..."

"Don't care, I have been well fed thanks to you"

Blushy Giyuu.jpg

"come on, let's just cuddle up, I need to recharge"

Giyuu had no choice but to oblige and make himself comfy on Sanemi's strong arms and warpped in the cozy duvet

In the end they fell asleep and forgot about dinner, and just sleep peacefully with a smile on their faces

Admin 15: So there we go, I realized the boys are rather OOC but, but I just can't help it, I'm so sorry *bows* well anyway that's the crumbs for today, I terribly apologize for grammar errors and mistakes or that if you don't like it, and thank you again!