#you don't have to pity them or forgive them or justify their actions. you can still hate them y'know

[beanghostprincess]

I gotta say it bothers me an insane amount when people refer to the Vinsmoke Brothers as "grown-ups" and say they were old enough to know what they were doing during WCI. Because despite agreeing on the fact that yes, they are abusers and Sanji has all the right in the world to not forgive them, the thought of them being irredeemable, especially emphasizing their age... Feels wrong.

People seem to think that once you turn 18 you're all grown-up and aware of your own actions, but when you've been manipulated and used and abused since the day you were born, no you are not. Abuse stops your normal growth and understanding of your surroundings and the development of a personality. And I am not saying they didn't know any better or justifying shit because they are awful people and there's no excuse for what they did to Sanji. But their whole story is about how they didn't grow up at all and are used as machines, and about how Sanji grew up too fast.

Sanji knew what torture was at the age of 8 but his brothers don't know what actual love is being 21. And I think both situations are extremely fucked up.

Referring to somebody (especially somebody who has grown up in a toxic environment) as mature and an adult (as an excuse to say they are aware of what they're doing completely) when they're 21 is just so wild to me because first, the didn't have a chance to grow up at all, and second, it's just 21 how the hell is 21 that old for you? People justifying the actions of teenagers but suddenly deeming people in their early twenties as "old enough to know better" is stupid. You don't turn 18 and suddenly become aware of good and bad out of nowhere. They were clearly caged and trapped in that cycle of abuse and didn't grow up at all.

Neither Sanji nor the viewers have to forgive the Vinsmoke brothers for their behavior at all, but you can admit somebody is redeemable and had a shitty life and they're the way they are because of their abuse without actually justifying their actions or forgiving them. Yes, fuck the Vinsmoke brothers. They're horrible people. Sanji should hate them and if the story ever makes him forgive them I will be extremely furious, I would despise that. But acting as if they were inherently evil and being +18 made them mature and emotionally aware all of a sudden is just not understanding their characters in the slightest.

[hamliet]

Can I ask your top 7 favorite quotes that you love from books that you've finished?

You're gonna get a lot of Dostoyevsky here... haha.

“But how could you live and have no story to tell?” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, "White Nights"

Kind of my pithy motto for life, and yes I've had it as my email signature since I was 17.

"It is an old truth, but this is what is new: I cannot go far wrong. For I have seen the truth; I have seen and I know that people can be beautiful and happy without losing the power of living on earth. I will not and cannot believe that evil is the normal condition of mankind... if only everyone wanted it, it could be arranged all at once."

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, "The Dream of a Ridiculous Man"

I love this because it gets at the heart of humanity's potential. If we only all wanted to and if we only all were able to trust one another, we could all just decide to never kill again, to stop putting value in money as a concept, and to simply live. The story also goes on to point out that yeah, it's kind of ridiculous to think this will happen, but what does that matter?

“I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidean mind of man, that in the world's finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, for the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, for all the blood that they've shed; that it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify all that has happened.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

I believe the same. I have to or I'll go insane. There's too much wrong.

“Don’t let us forget that the causes of human actions are usually immeasurably more complex and varied than our subsequent explanations of them.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot

What I try to remind myself when people make statements that are tempting to take as the be-all-end-all of their character.

"Everyone began to love himself better than anyone else, and indeed they could not do otherwise. All became so jealous of the rights of their own personality that they did their very utmost to curtail and destroy them in others, and made that the chief thing in their lives. Slavery followed, even voluntary slavery; the weak eagerly submitted to the strong, on condition that the latter aided them to subdue the still weaker."

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, "The Dream of a Ridiculous Man"

Yes, this short story again! But I think it really comes to the forefront of what TDOARM is saying about human nature. We see this all the time, don't we?

"The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together."

― William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well

Accurate, but also I appreciate a wholistic look on humanity.

"Live, even if it's not stylish."

―Ishida Sui, Tokyo Ghoul

Changed my life.

[captain-amadeus]

You have some of the literal best takes ever about Stf characters. Chief ones among them being you get the point of the show!!! which is to give people the opportunity to change, and you don't hate them obnoxiously to prop up cedric (who doesn't need that to begin with anyways)

Basically I'm just so happy there's people out here who like Roland and Chrysta and all the other good characters the fandom demonizes

GAHHHHHH

/pos this is so nice man

I do not understand why people are so adamant to point out every other character's flaws, and yet they make Cedric out to be correct in so many situations that have so much grey area to them. Cedric was NOT always the best person because he was not treated the best. The thing is people sometimes do bad things if they are treated badly, but when treated with kindness, can change for the better. That is literally the whole thing about Cedric and Sofia's dynamic: Sofia is good towards Cedric, which makes Cedric want to be good, despite how people treated him in the pass. It's even thanks to Sofia convincing others to treat Cedric better and give him a chance to show what he's capable of that overall allows Cedric to be better off in his life.

While Cedric does change for the better, he still does some things that aren't justifiable. It depends on how much other characters are willing to forgive him, but the ending of Day of the Sorcerers shows how despite people like Roland not completely forgiving his actions right away are willing to give him another chance because Roland realizes there was a REASON why he did all of this, and that there could be something done to get to the root of the problem.

There's also this thing called "people aren’t perfect and they will make mistakes, but that doesn't make them completely evil," and I feel like the fandom forgets that a lot. Especially with Roland.

Oh my god, Roland is hung up on a crucifix for breathing. I can't fathom how people come to the conclusion that Roland is the worst father to Sofia, when he's actually one of the sweetest dads I've seen in fiction.

I feel there's a lot of reasons why people mischaracterize him so much like:

1) He treats Cedric a bit poorly (and yes, the things Roland said about Cedric were bad, but Roland doesn't come from hating Cedric. It's more of a pity he has towards him, which is still disappointing because Roland should've supported Cedric more, but because he grew up with the notion that Cedric isn't as capable as his father, doubts Cedric's abilities like everyone else. He still has good intentions and doesn't mean to hurt his feelings, could talk about Cedric's Apprentice but we'd be here all day, but he still does because he doesn't quite recognize how his words impact his confidence)

2) People watch and focus on the Cedric centric episodes and think that Roland isn't doing his job as a father, when there's so many reasons why he can't always be on screen.

Personally reason two sort of icks me out, because people don't recognize how the small moments with Sofia and Roland have as much value as with Sofia and Cedric, but also kind of strange why people make Sofia and Cedric have this extremely close relationship where Sofia only goes to Cedric for literally everything. There is little balance when it comes to who Sofia interacts with in fan stuff, and I can see why their bond is father-daughter coded. Just, man, it's like she doesn't have an entire family she can turn to for help, who've shown nothing but support for her, where Cedric is the only person that exists for her in this stuff that it's, man at least let her talk with Miranda who is the best character in the show and the best mother ever when she needs help like she does in the show. Or maybe have her figure things out with Amber and/or James, hell, even Clover could offer a few words, the worst thing that could happen is the advice doesn't help and everyone learns a lesson in the end like in the SHOW.

Anyways I'll just stop here and say I will always love the royal family as a whole and as individuals, despite how most of them are ignored or demonized. You are very swag HEHSHSISJHDUEJSBEIJD

[thefirstknife]

Mara is being a classic manipulative abuser trying to sway everyone to pity her and putting the spotlight on her own grief rather than the immeasurable suffering she has caused others, and the fandom is falling for it hard. As someone who will spend likely the rest of my lifetime healing from the hurt caused by someone like her and hangs out with many fandom friends with the same experiences... it's just really anxiety inducing and hurtful to see how large chunks of the fandom are so quick to praise and adore her for her "character growth". She is upset to be facing consequences for her actions and is trying to get pity. She is a horrible person and a fantastic character and she should be allowed to be the asshole that she is. She doesn't have to be good to be enjoyable. I am terrified the narrative will go the way of having Crow forgive her because that's the "good" and "kind" thing to do, thus essentially saying abuse victims need to be the "bigger person" and forgive their abusers. Not even gonna get into how she used the Awoken people from the first moment. There's nothing wrong with loving Mara but I think all of you need to take a step back and listen to people who have met real life Maras and understand just how messed up your support of her is when you're touting her as this traumatised person just trying to do what she believes is right (true) which makes her good and worthy and simply misunderstood (false, her trauma doesn't absolve her of being a cunt). She isn't growing, she's just further manipulating people and making things about herself. There is no moral failing in enjoying characters who are horrible people. She's no different from Clovis with her god complex and having slightly more noble intentions doesn't excuse her whatsoever. Her remorse might be genuine but at the moment she isn't seeking to provide any reparations to her victims, she just want people to feel bad for her being sad.

I was abused by my older brother, emotionally and physically, who manipulated (and still does) people around him.

I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm getting really tired of people assuming that everyone who sees some value in Mara's character growth has never been abused. That assumption is disrespectful and forces the person you're telling this to out themselves about their own abuse. Because if I don't, then people will just continue saying that I can't possibly understand what it's like. I understand. Unfortunately, personally. I would advise not to approach random people telling them that they can't understand what it's like because they happen to like Mara as a character.

Another thing that I want to mention at the start is that I have never in my life claimed that Mara did nothing wrong or that she isn't a bad person. She is. It's a part of the reason why she's a fascinating character. She's an uncompromising leader who worked under the idea that the end justifies the means and that she is the only one that can see us through to that end. It's a cruel life for everyone around her.

Her trauma doesn't absolve her of being a cunt, but it does explain why she is one. I think this is not only valuable, but crucial to understand because that explains that her cruelty wasn't out of sick malice and enjoyment of hurting others.

If we want to care about abuse, we have to understand that parental neglect is also abuse. Mara is also an abuse victim. This also doesn't absolve her of her actions, but it does explain them. Mara's recent new line in which she tells Elsie about Osana Sov, her mother, is a classic abuse victim story about parental abuse. It's one that rarely gets acknowledged because that type of abuse is structured specifically in a way to go unnoticed. But it's abuse nonetheless. And I'm sorry but if we care about abuse victims, we also have to care about abuse victims who become cunts. That's the only way to really fix the situation.

And I do genuinely believe in fixing the situation. I know that a lot of people don't want their abusers to get better or to change and I also know that a lot of people don't believe that their abusers CAN get better and change, but they can. Not all of them of course, but some can. Insisting that Mara is not actually changing and is just pretending and being manipulative again is your trauma talking. The text is incredibly clear in this scenario and it's not just coming from Mara herself; it's coming from people around her. So unless we believe that literally every character (including incredibly perceptive ones like Elsie or Ikora) would fall for Mara's every word even when they never did so previously, Mara is genuinely changing and she isn't manipulating anyone or pretending to be trying to get better for good girl points. That's incredibly uncharitable interpretation where you have to go out of your way to insist that she's just pure evil. It's equally incorrect as saying that Mara is pure good.

Again, I know that not everyone is capable of dealing with that in the same way or same time as someone else. There was a time in my life when I genuinely wanted my brother to just die and be gone from the world and that he is not deserving of any introspection or the ability to change. And I know there are horrific people who have done truly unforgivable things and that it's hard to think about them as people deserving of effort and change. But if those people put in the effort and want to change, we have to give them that second chance.

Of course, their victim is not obliged to help them or be in their presence ever again. This is a right that Crow is currently exercising, with no end in sight. But if he eventually chooses to give it a go? His story will not be worth any less to an abuse victim. It won't align with everyone's story, but it will align with some of them and again, if we care about abuse and abuse victims, then we also have to care about those that aren't identical to us. It's not about being the "bigger person." I don't want to be prove being a bigger person to my brother, I just genuinely think that it would be better for everyone involved if he changed and worked through all of our issues and we were a normal family.

The text is also more than clear about Clovis who has never in his life believed that he is wrong or that anything that he did was wrong, including all suffering he caused to all of his family and humanity. Like, this cannot get any clearer. And the game directly made that comparison to debunk it in a very on-the-nose way: in a full dialogue in-game. Clovis doesn't think anything he did was wrong; Mara does (and Rasputin admits to the same).

I would also like to point out that the game is filled with abusers who never get a fraction of the same flack. Calus is a massive abuser who neglected and emotionally manipulated and punished Caiatl her whole life, as well as treated his people as accessories to his own goals and tossed them into suffering and death for his own amusement. Not even for anything dire like saving all life in the solar system; for pure amusement. Reading about Gahlran is a special type of horrific depiction of Calus' disregard for people's autonomy and safety.

People also for some reason don't see it, despite it being incredibly clear in the lore book, but the Witness abused Rhulk into obedience through isolation and manipulation. It picked Rhulk because he was already on the edge and then it used isolation and manipulation abuser tactics to sway him away from his people and turn him into the genocidal unquestioning obedient follower that he became.

Savathun was also a fairly abusive person as well and probably the best comparison with Mara. She was knowingly manipulating her siblings, and her nephews, and also her children, for whom she had very little love and care. She also completely ignored them and left them pretty much for dead when she decided to become a Lightbearer. And you know what? Savathun is also an abuse victim herself as well. She is a traumatised person that has been on the receiving end of manipulation and we all feel very bad for her circumstances. And Savathun also wanted a second chance; and she got it!

Clovis was a massive abuser whose wife had to run away from him and hide, who did not see his child and his grandchildren as real individual people. He manipulated every single one of them, most of all Elsie, to whom he most likely lied about her disease to make her accept the Exo body and to whom he directly said that he is in control of all information about her own body. He also did not view any people as real people and instead, they were all experiments. Reading his logbook and his extra experiments (warning for medical trauma and body horror) is, to borrow words from an in-game character, "a gratuitous exercise in horror." He has never, not once, said or did anything that shows he regrets it or thinks anything he did was wrong.

You might say "but nobody is making excuses for Calus or Savathun or the Witness or Clovis!" And like, yes they are. They're never addressed as abusers and they have plenty of fans who treat them just like their cool blorbos. A really interesting example is the Witness who, by god, has a really cool design, but whom people are consistently treating only like a sexy otherworldly alien who is just sooo shippable with its abuse victim.

And as much as that makes me super uncomfortable, same as Calus bros who to this day swear that he's actually someone worthy of following or that Clovis is just a poor little meow meow that everyone is being too mean to, I am not here to tell people that they aren't allowed to do those things. And I am not going to send them guilt-tripping asks telling them that I am an abuse victim and that they cannot possibly have similar experiences because they post positively about these characters. And I certainly can't claim that none of them understand abuse.

I don't know why Mara is the only one that gets this sort of response. Mara is both an abuser and an abuse victim, she was a miserable person as a human to the point where she straight up decided to commit suicide. She was a cruel leader who believed that only she alone can save the world and that everybody else is at her disposal to be used as she wants. And she has since learned how awful she was and regrets it. She wants to change and be better. No matter the timeline, she remains our steadfast ally until the end. It's really not that difficult. There's no double or triple deceptions and manipulations involved.

Me and many others have actually literally been talking about how Destiny writing is currently focused so much on every character sounding like they've been going to therapy and how everyone is super introspective about their problems and wrongdoings. I assume this is because we're slowly wrapping things up and we can't have characters being too ambiguous in the face of our endgame enemies, but no matter what's the reason for it is, the conflicts and characters have been getting increasingly more straightforward. Mara is not going to flip the switch on us.

If you for any reason can't stand to see a storyline in which someone like Mara gets a second chance, that's something that you will have to deal with in your own time. Disengaging from the story is okay. Disengaging from the fandom is okay. Sometimes media will tell a story about your experience that doesn't align with yours perfectly, but it does align with other people who have been through similar issues.

And in case of Destiny, this is a story whose main theme is "second chances." Mara wants one so she deserves one. Savathun wanted one and she deserved one. Even Calus or Clovis or even the Witness; if they want one, they deserve one. It's okay to not want to forgive any of them personally and even to struggle with the fact that the story is trying to pass that as the right thing to do, but again, that's something for everyone to deal with in their time. And please don't make assumptions about other people and their relationship with abuse.

[ramshacklefey]

Putting another MHA essay out into the ether because I think a lot of people don't get or appreciate the character arc that Endeavor is having.

Firstly, I just wanna say that while I find it ironic, I get why people have a harder time seeing beyond Enji's past crimes than they do the League members'. Most of us have never encountered someone who is an unapologetic murderer, but many of us have met an abusive parent/spouse, or know someone who has one. That makes it a lot more personal and therefore more alarming to us. Still, if we want to be even remotely rational about this, we should acknowledge that abusing your family is less morally bad than murdering people, regardless of your justifications for either one.

But I'm not here to talk about justifications. There isn't any way to justify Enji's past actions. We know that as readers, and importantly, he knows that as a character. He never tries to justify himself, shrug off blame, or ask his family to forgive him. I honestly don't even know if he thinks forgiveness is possible.

Possibly the most important distinction to make in trying to understand Enji's character is the difference between self-pity and remorse. It's a subtle difference, but vitally important both for understanding his character and for understanding other people in real life.

Self-pity is about performative self-flagellation with the goal of getting others to sympathize with you. Someone mired in feeling sorry for themself is focused on how badly off they are and expressing that emotion in big or small ways. When someone is being self-pitying, others tend to feel pressured to reassure them. You see this when someone's apology comes along with a heaping helping of them talking about how bad and awful they are, often to an extent that's completely out of proportion to whatever they did wrong.

On the other hand, remorse is recognizing what you did wrong and feeling bad about it. There's a big overlap here. Realizing that you've done something awful to other people is generally a big blow to your self-esteem. You might feel rotten and start doubting your self-worth and all your other principles. The difference is that someone who is remorseful doesn't express it by doing or saying things that are aimed at getting others to sympathize with their plight. Acting on remorse involves looking at what you can do to repair the harm you've caused, regardless of whether that is going to lead other people to forgive you. Someone who is genuinely remorseful accepts the anger and hurt of others and doesn't respond by trying to one-up them with how bad they feel about what they did.

The reason this is so important is that Enji isn't filled with self-pity, he's filled with remorse. He recognizes what he's done and how bad it is, and he wants to help his family heal from his abuse. He doesn't want anyone to make him feel better about what he did, and he doesn't ever express this in a way that makes others feel obligated to do so. He accepts the fact that his family are going to respond to him in their own way and their own time. Even if, on some level, he hopes they might forgive him eventually, he's made peace with the fact that they may not and respects that.

And he isn't perfect at it! He's working to be a better person, but he doesn't just turn on a dime. His first thought is that he can change things by just changing the way he acts. If he treats them well enough, perhaps that will be enough to heal the hurt he's caused. Maybe the fact that Fuyumi was the most ready to move forward helped him think that this was the right option. What he realizes though is that this isn't enough.

Fuyumi might be ready to move forward, but Shoto and Natsuo aren't, and Rei will never be able to be around him and feel safe. His most important realization is that the only thing he can do is to remove himself from the picture. This isn't some grand gesture, it's a simple act brought on by the realization that as long as he's around, things aren't going to get better for everyone else. So he buys them a new home. He offers financial support with no strings attached (an important thing in a culture where divorce is considered very differently from the way we think of it in the US). He gives them a place free from the terrible memories that fill the house they used to live in, a place where they can heal and grow and learn to be happy together.

A lot of people point to the moment when he froze during the fight with the line villain as a moment of self-pity. He tells Natsu afterward that the reason he froze was the realization that, "If I saved you, you might never forgive me." I think a lot of people read that and hear, "I hesitated to save you because I couldn't deal with the idea of you living without ever forgiving me." And if that's how you interpret that line, I totally get where you're coming from.

I have a different read on it though, and I think it's worth considering. There are a few different layers to it. First, on the uppermost reading of the situation, I think it wasn't "If I saved you, you'd never forgive me for all the things I did in the past," but "If I saved you, you'd never forgive me for being the one who saved you. You could never forgive me for putting you in a situation where you felt like you owed me that much." That's a devastating thought to have, but on top of that there's a kind of horror to realizing that you're having that thought when the other person is currently in danger. That's a staggering realization. Personally, I don't think that a moment of completely freezing is surprising in that situation, even if it was the worst possible thing to do.

The other thing that seems to bother a lot of people is that Enji says, "I never meant to neglect you children," which, yeah that's a weird thing to say. As Natsu points out, what Enji meant to do doesn't matter because neglecting them is exactly what he did. Honestly, I don't know exactly what to make of this line, but my personal interpretation of it is that he was making a ham-fisted attempt to tell Natsuo that he never hated them. His neglect wasn't born of malice.

(I have a whole other essay I'd like to write eventually about why I think he made the choices he did about Touya and the other kids and Shoto. Short version is that he had... attempted good intentions but his head was too far up his own ass to see that he was making the wrong choices at every turn.)

I don't think that Enji's past is the kind of thing that's forgivable. And I don't think it's justifiable in any respect. What I do think is that, given everything we've seen him do since the fight with the Nomu in Kyushu, or maybe even since his conversation with All Might, he's been making actual strides in the direction of becoming a better person. Even though recognizing and accepting responsibility for his past actions is incredibly painful, and even though he comes to see that he's never going to get the happy ending he might wish for, he's turned his focus to the needs of other people. He realizes that what he actually needs to do is save his family from himself, and he's doing everything he knows how to make that a reality. His realization that he needs to be better didn't lead him to immediately become a superb person, but that's never how it works. Becoming a better person is painful. It involves a lot of backsliding. But the first and hardest step is really accepting that you were wrong, and you were wrong because all your assumptions about yourself and the world were wrong.

[xxdr3amsnatchrrxx]

Doll Boy did a cringe.

this issue was something i felt i should've addressed when it first started and is long over due as my previous apology was bogged down with ridiculous reasoning for my behavior. i'm only hoping that this post will rectify that.

I will have this be rebloggable only due to me wanting this to be seen by those i've effected or for anyone to add onto what i did so i can properly address it.

i also want it to be known that no one made me do this, no one made me make this post. i chose to write this because i felt like i needed to. no one called me out and this isn't drama.

LASTLY PLEASE DO NOT HARASS ANYONE IN THIS POST. EVEN THOSE I DIDN'T NAME. I DO NOT WANT MORE PEOPLE BEING HURT. IF YOU HARASS ANYONE DUE TO THIS POST I WILL BLOCK YOU WITHOUT QUESTION

TL;DR: I, the user Baby Dollinkz, previously known as Pastel Snorpy and Neon Drawinkz, acted chronically online and straight up abusive and told everyone they had to follow cannon while also saying people don't have to draw colorful muppets a specific way. and then afterwards tried to manipulate someone to feel bad for blocking me.

Full Apology under cut because it gets long.

this is pointed towards the bugsnax fandom.

i've been trying to distance myself due to my behavior when i lashed out on the behalf of someone's comfort and then after that blamed the people i was in a call at the time for my action.

none of the people in that call are to blame for how i acted. i was the dumbass acting out of pocket and should've just dropped the subject.

this was something i chose to do without properly thinking how i could effect others. and distancing myself wasn't a proper thing to do as it was just avoiding the problem as a whole.

i specifically targeted the user flooftyfizzlebeans/sophdoesart for shipping Lizeggty and tried to justify it with my bullshit reasons. which was the most chronically online thing i've done and personally promised myself not to do that again. which luckily i haven't done so at least from what i remember.

after the first post i made vaguing about them in a hateful shitposty way i woke up the next day seeing people telling me that i messed up and should apologize. which led me to making my first "apology" which was just a pity party explaining why i was right and everyone was wrong.

make it worse in between posts i cried and whined about how i was (rightfully) soft blocked by an ex friend and essentially tried to manipulate people to feel bad for me being a little shit.

and to that ex friend and soph, i completely understand if you choose to disregard this apology and/or feel this apology wasn't done well. you don't have to forgive me and you can ignore this.

this is me putting it out there that im trying to change as the person. hopefully i'll figure out why i've acted the way i have. I'm sorry you had to deal with my behavior.

please stay safe out there.

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Damn now other people are starting to send asks...I need to up my annoyingness ante more /joke /lh Kazui and Amane will be the last two I ask about since you already did posts on them, and Es and Jackalope will be the next one, so as I see it the next one on the list isss...Yuno! She's currently fighting in my mind to turn my favorite quintet into a senary because one of my friends really likes her and it kinda got me to analyze her more, so I'm interested to see what you think !

Yeah I don’t why why everyone suddenly started sending asks I wonder who gave them that idea Õ_o /j /lh

CW: Abortion, sex work, suicide.

Uh… so you know when I said Shidou was the character I thought about the least? I… may have deadass forgotten Yuno existed when I said that ngl. I’m sure I’ll go insane over her when I get to analyzing her videos more in depth, but for now she’s kinda flown right under my radar. I’m sorry, I just weirdly can’t find it in me to care much about her. Obviously it's perfectly fine for others to enjoy her, and I don't think there's any major issues in her writing, it's just I can't get too invested.

I mean, it’s sorta similar to the Mahiru situation for me. It’s implied by the fact she really doesn’t seem to care about money that she was engaging in compensated dating just for fun, which… I just can’t relate to, I don’t like sex or dating. But sure, stay safe and slay or whatever.

(T1) Q20: The most expensive thing you've ever bought?

Y: What did I buy? I think a stuffed animal.

(T2) Q7: What would you do if you receive One Million Yen and you must spend right now?

Y: I'd have a nice meal with my family, then give them to my friends.

Now, I actually could sorta relate to her whole deal about always seeking “warmth” because she always gets bored of things easily (I think that’s what’s going on anyways).

(T1) Q24: Do you have a future dream?

Y: I wish I can find something I can really get absorbed into.

Me before DRDT and Milgram.

However, I just feel like it’s not explored in a very interesting way? She's not exactly Veronika Grebenshchikova you feel. Maybe I’m missing something, but “bored girl finds a hobby” is not the most compelling storyline in Milgram. Am I supposed to be scandalized by her compensated dating? Cause I’m not. I’m not gonna tell her how to live her life.

You could argue there's maybe safer and possibly better things for her to get into, but any actual discourse which could exist around that part of her story comes from the subject matter more than Yuno, if that makes sense. And I'm just personally not very informed in the whole subject of compensated dating, plus I find it a bit uncomfortable to research too much for personal reasons, so I feel like I can't fully immerse myself in it.

Which gets us to her “murder”, and I’m gonna be honest, I feel there’s some kinda culture shock thing going here. Because a big part (read: the main damn point) of her second VD is that it’s stupid we try to justify her actions for her, that we pity her without knowing the full story, that she doesn’t want to hear our excuses for being forgiven, etc…

Tear Drop: Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I'm so not that

(2nd VD) Y: Even if I was scorned by you, I would have been okay with being told I'm not forgiven. I don't believe I'm not in the wrong. I'd accept it.

So she doesn’t think she’s innocent necessarily. She speaks vague on purpose, but that’s what’s she’s getting at. She thinks if we vote her innocent it must be because we’re looking down at her or assuming things about her life which aren’t true, it’s the main point of Tear Drop.

But… We don’t need excuses, Yuno. You did nothing wrong.

I usually say that as a joke, but here it’s just true. And any kind of moral ambiguity which may have existed is completely thrown out the window by the fact we’re comparing it to actual first degree murder. Girl we forgave the fucking organ harvester three numbers away from you why do you think we need excuses to forgive you? Innoing her is the easiest decision in all of Milgram imo.

Like I said, possibly a cultural issue? It’s not like I live in a particularly progressive country, but in the online circles I run in its very much accepted abortion isn’t murder. Yet, that’s not what she believes.

(2nd VD) Y: I have no intent to say abortion isn't murder. I'm a respectable murderer.

Or… does she?

(2nd VD) Y: To the extent of understanding the feeling of actually taking a life... I couldn't feel that that was a life. A discomfort and…the sensation of a foreign body….

Girlboss make up your mind.

The point is that she even regrets what she did, and wishes she could have prevented it.

(T2) Q10: If you could turn back time, would you commit the same murder once again?

Y: I'd make sure that I won't have to commit it. That's it.

In any case, I hope I'm making some amount of sense, and I can get across why I struggle to really get invested in analysis of her. Sorry.

Of course, voting isn't the only aspect of Milgram, but I also just don't find her personality and character arc all that interesting. Personal opinion, I don't think it's badly written or anything, but I just find it significantly less interesting than other characters.

That said, the most interesting thing to me is that she might be dead?

Y: Oh! Also, that reminds me, there was one thing I'm curious about. Es: What? Go ahead and say it. Yuno: Am I…really alive? Es: That's…what do you…. Yuno: Hm…if you don't know, then it's fine. Es: Yuno…. Yuno: Hey, it's time, right? Es: Y-yes. Prisoner number 2, Yuno. Sing your sins.

That's peculiar. Given the Haruka suicide theory I brought up in my post about him, it's definitely a possibility she's dead. It's possible she went through an unsafe abortion, given this question:

(T2) Q20: Did you hate the person you killed?

Y: It was too much of a pain to for me to think about anything.

So there's potential death one. Potential death two is her Undercover silhouette shot.

Given I have no idea what the deal with this scene is, it's possible she jumped from here? I guess she does fall from stairs at the end of Umbilical, although she lands upright, though maybe that's her landing in Milgram? The issue with this suicide idea is this answer:

(T2) Q17: How many years do you want to live?

Y: About 40 years would be just right, I think.

... Okay, well, that's a concerning answer, kinda wish we got a bit more insight into what the deal is with that, but the point is she's currently not forty, so.

Anyways, that aside, I don't know what else to say. Yuno really hasn't rotted my brain as much as the other prisoners, so, uh, sorry I can't go any deeper atm. I feel kinda bad I can't say anything more positive since you clearly like her (_ _). Hope it's alright! Take care!

[wolint]

REGRET!

REGRET

2 Corinthians 7:10

 

Regret is the feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened, done or undone, and experienced with a wish that it had been different. It’s looking back with dissatisfaction, longing, grief, and sorrow that leads to mourning because of the loss of joy and peace.

Surely, regret is possibly the heaviest load we all carry in life.

David committed adultery with Bathsheba and decided to kill her husband so that he could cover his sin in 2 Samuel 11:1-15. He was doing what we are all tempted to do when we sin, making excuses and justifying our actions.

We may not all commit adultery, but sin is sin, and it has a similar effect on us until we admit, confess, and repent of it, we won’t not be able to worship God with a pure heart or a clean conscience.

How many times have we done or said something we regretted immediately? Oftentimes, our impulses lead us to do or say things without thinking them through, and only when such things are done, do we realise we shouldn’t have said or done them in the first place.

Regrets usually comes from the pursuit of other things besides God. Nothing brings lasting happiness, especially when gained at the cost of relationships with God and the people in your life.

Impulse control is never easy. All of us struggle with overcoming sinful impulses. James 1:14 says part of the human condition is to feel impulses, and part of the Christian life is to control them, but these impulses lead into actions and speeches that we sometimes regret.

One of the most tragic events in the bible is the despair of Judas in Matthew 27:3-10. When Judas discovered that the consequences of his actions to betray Jesus could not be changed, he allowed his regret to push him to self-destruct instead of repentance.

As believers, we must always remember that there is forgiveness and a second chance in Christ, and therefore should not wallow in regret that may lead us to misery that leads to destruction.

Regret is a state of the heart that can ruin our lives, it can derail our faith, and cause us to miss out on some powerful Christian experience.

Have your regrets in life caused you to give up because you couldn’t get past those things that you feel regret over?

It may be hard to get over an issue, but we must learn to emulate the prodigal son in Luke 15:18, in saying, “I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you.” The Lord forgives us when we come to Him in faith. Our past is forgotten to him, and He gives us a fresh start, but we may still have to live with the consequences of some of our actions because they cannot be retracted.

God can restore us to healing brought on by regret, regret caused by sin can only be cleansed from a heartfelt confession and repentance says Psalm 51:1-15.

God uses our repentance, brokenness, and remorse to bring true repentance and change in us as seen in Ezekiel 6:8-11.

Godly regrets produce repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret in the end, but worldly grief produces only death.

We have an enemy who loves to remind us of our sins and failures and to keep the regret fresh on our minds, see Revelation 20:10. He would have us dwell on our sins or wallow in regret and self-pity rather than letting them go.

David confessed his sin against the Lord in 2 Samuel 12:13, as we should and know that God wants us to understand that the consequences of sin always include deep regret.

Regrets are exercises in futility and counter-productive to joy and peace. Don't allow regret to stand you up!

PRAYER: Oh, Lord, let my regrets always draw me closer to you. Take my burdens from me and restore me no matter what I’ve done, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Shalom

WOMEN OF LIGHT INT. PRAYER MIN.

[astrowithkaro]

hiii, for language of birthdays can you do March 21? Thank you!!!

Language Of Birthdays: March 21 - Aries

The Day Of Clarity

March 21 is a pivotal day of the year, traditionally marking the first day of spring and the vernal equinox on which day and night are of equal length. Its characteristics must always be seen as primary in nature. In keeping with their symbolic heritage, March 21 people tend to have forthright and essential personalities, rather than complex or ultra-sensitive ones. They are often misunderstood by others, who find them unwilling or unable to fit into the ordinary social mould. This is because they live life purely on their own terms, an attitude that extends into even the simplest of their everyday actions, tasks and responsibilities.

Although they may have a touch of the dreamer about them, March 21 people usually have a practical side that outweighs their fanciful tendencies. They have a genius for setting up organizations and structures, but somehow things never turn out quite as they expect. Those same structures, particularly when they are human ones, seem to invariably fall apart. On the good side, something of lasting value usually remains.

March 21 people are often devoid of overly fiery, aggressive characteristics, preferring to be alone than with those who do not understand them. Because their confidence is a quiet assurance, they may in fact strike others as passive types. Actually it is simply that they do not find it necessary to justify their behaviour at all—if others don't appreciate it, then it's just too bad for them!

The physical and aesthetic aspects of life are equally important to March 21 people thus dancing and other physically graceful activities are perfect for expressing this balance. Those born on this day can be curiously non-verbal, expecting others to sense their thoughts and feelings without explanation. Since they are born leaders, they may in fact find it possible to express their wishes silently or with very few words.

March 21 people are courageous and stick to their guns when they believe they are right, even if it demands a fight. Though they often give the impression of being curiously uninvolved or unconcerned with what is going on, their anger, once roused, can be terrible. They are at once childlike and child-oriented. If as children they themselves suffered neglect, they will be devoted to giving their children the best.

Spiritual outlets are very important to March 21 people, whether they be found in conventional religion, devotion and service, or esoteric, mystical pursuits. Those seeking a higher state of consciousness should, however, beware of drugs of any type, as the March 21 aura is one of extreme purity. It is important that those born on this day be left free to practice their unusual, even eccentric forms of self-expression without interference. At worst they will be relatively harmless to those around them and at best prove to be highly inspiring.

Strengths:

Courageous

Self-expressive

Direct

Weaknesses:

Misunderstood

Antisocial

Dictatorial

Advice

March 21 people can be quite solitary and being left alone for long periods of time is very important for their physical and mental health. Receiving love is of course essential, but only on their terms and according to their own requirements. They do not enjoy smothering displays of affection, nor will they tolerate being nursed or coddled. If they fall sick, they will often cure themselves, sometimes using the most peculiar methods. They can live on quite uncomplicated diets which would bore many others. It is not a highly varied menu which they demand, but rather the stability of well-prepared, consistently healthy food. Dancing is the perfect exercise and relaxed enjoyment for those born on March 21.

Don't feel sorry for yourself; self-pity is poison

Be more flexible in your dealings with others and learn to forgive and forget

Try to be a bit more accommodating and tactful—make an effort to explain yourself better

Beware of undue pride, and of arrogance

[lookotherway]

Not to be nit-picky actually yes to be nit-picky but AFO is just as evil as the LOV 😭 he literally is a peace of shit too! However, I do agree with that anon and you like I feel for them having shitty childhoods and whatnot but at the end of the day they’re still mass murderers and having shitty childhood doesn’t excuse them or make their actions justifiable! Personally I don’t want them to die because I think death is an easy way out, but they need to be locked up and punished for their crimes!

lol istg the only ones who aren't looking forward to that shitfuck afo to die are endeavor antis bc apparently he mocked endeavor a word or two 😂

like it's fictional and i actually don't apply stern rules of justice to them, but if the author wants us average readers to sympathize with mass murderers, at least show readers that they're sympathizable. look at eren yeager, before he came to his last genocide decision, he showed a lot of struggles and internal conflicts, which's why aot fandom splitted in two. that's how "wrongdoings by right ideal" should be written, not something Hori gave us like, hey they don't feel any shit to the innocent lives they've tramped on and their ideal is bullcrap and dogshit too but their lives were so sad, their childhoods were horrible, they have a crying child in their soul and a sad smile on their face, so now pity them, forgive them, save them, give them a chance.

ugh, i have my heart open for every trope of antagonist but not this kind of writing. the villains didn't feel even a trace of remorse for their actions, how can people apologize for that?

[duckie-baby]

let's talk about s02e08: the sins of the father.

let's talk about how this could've been a pivotal point in arthur's character arc, if the writers of this show weren't fucking cowards.

let's talk about how it was completely unfair on merlin's part to lie to arthur, because arthur deserved the truth goddamnit and it wasn't merlin's place to take that away from him.

of course, this is later justified by merlin saying that he knows arthur and that he wouldn't be able to live with himself or the guilt of it if he had gone ahead and killed his father. and of course, like every other potentially life-changing event, all of this is never mentioned by the show again.

magic is damned even further in arthur's eyes, uth*r threatens everyone who knows the truth into silence, vaguely implies that he's totally chill with his son fucking his manservant as long as they're all of the same anti-magic ideals, the episode ends in all smiles.

but whew! at least arthur's been protected from the harsher sides of reality, once again! god forbid this character gains any sense of self-awareness!

my point is, if all of this was to keep arthur from killing daddykins bc it would weigh on his delicate conscience, to preserve the Goodness Of His Character As A Man And King, why the fuck should merlin have to lie to him about it?

consider, instead of:

Morgause is lying! She's an enchantress. She tricked you. That was not your mother you saw. That was an illusion. Everything...everything your mother said to you...those were Morgause's words.

we could have had something along the lines of:

What your father did was wrong, Arthur, but is this man the man you want to be? The king you want to be? Would you be able to ascend the throne even as your father's blood glistens, still fresh, on your sword? Would you be able to live with yourself if you made this decision?

if he kills his darling father anyway, honestly, Good For Him. he has every right to. uth*r went through with a dangerous spell despite knowing the risks, then commited genocide in its name whilst lying about his reason as to why.

uth*r has commited genocide.

he is not a good king or father either, as proven several times throughout the show. he deserves no mercy, no pity.

but the choice should've been arthur's to make. this scene should've been a testament to arthur's character.

if he kills daddy dearest anyways but then feels Super Guilty about it later, we know he wouldn't have made a good king. you can't head a country when you're prone to making drastic decisions without thinking them through bc you were throwing pissy fit at the time.

so if he still goes through with it, he must not been shown to regret it.

but say he does let uth*r live. maybe for whatever love remains for the man who raised him. but he renounces him as his king, as his father.

arthur starts publicly going against his policies and decisions. bc if uth*r could have been so wrong about this alone, what else is he wrong about? arthur refuses to carry out his orders if he believes it’s against the interests of the people.

raising taxes? how about No. oh, he can’t knight commoners? just Try and stop him. he learns to trust in the counsel of merlin, gwen, morgana, people who we know interact direct directly with the citizens of camelot and want what’s best for them; builds his own circle. he routinely breaks out prisoners from the dungeons he believe have been punished unjustly.

especially the people who use magic. he openly speaks out against his father and his persecution of it.

uth*r can try and stop him, alright. but there is a clear rift in the kingdom now, two distinct factions. those who believe in the king that arthur will be, and those who believe their loyalty is still to the current monarch.

and look at these people, from the execution scene from s01e01:

look at their faces (and also hnfvbdjh colin morgan and his obscene fucking cheekbones jesus christ). they don't seem to appreciate uth*r saving them from the evils of magic much. how many of them have lost their friends and family to his crusade? how many of them remember a time when magic was still allowed in camelot and the kingdom flourished?

these people will stand with arthur pendragon.

yeah. the ones who still believe in uth*r’s authority are few and far in between. and they know where they can shove it.

arthur learns. about magic, about its history, the old religion. merlin finally reveals his magic to him, so does morgana. he goes to the druids and he falls to his knees and he begs for their forgiveness. morgause begrudgingly allies herself with him, seeing his determination to right his father’s mistakes. he still struggles with the little boy within him who just wants his only parent’s approval, sometimes. but he is slowly but surely becoming his own man.

arthur becomes king long before he takes the throne. uth*r is forced to watch, a meaningless figurehead, as everything he worked to achieve comes undone at the hands of his own son. no attempts to make the viewers sympathise with him. he is angry and miserable and wasting away and there is nothing he can do about it; and it’s exactly what he fucking deserves.

and merlin? merlin finally realises kilgharrah’s word isn’t gospel. morgana is redeemed before she ever loses herself. but they must learn to trust each other again, bc merlin left her to face her fear and self-loathing alone when she needed someone more than ever (you might be cute, merlin, but not enough to get away with THAT). he finds himself taking young sorcerers who don’t know how to control their power under his wing (gilli, daegal, oh god the endless opportunities here), including mordred. MORGAUSE TEACHING MERLIN AND MORGANA MAGIC.

he and arthur are equals now, partners in destiny; the world is theirs.

and for the love of god, give me villains whose entire personality and motivations don’t boil down to I Hate Uth*r Pendragon And Also His Son.

give me kings who are afraid of camelot’s growing power, give me bandits and slave traders who realise they have no place in arthur and merlin’s albion. give me uth*r apologists scrambling to maintain their position in court, hell, give me anarchist organisations if that’s what it takes to spice things up a little.

give me the golden age of albion we were promised.

of course, all of this requires characters acknowledging and growing from their mistakes, and making their actions have lasting consequences — so i suppose it really is a bit too much to ask of the writers.

[thedefinitionofendgame]

Love Is Enough

Surrera and Station 19 family multi-chap | Rated T | Canon-compliant

*spoilers for season 4 of station 19*

A/N: we all knew I was going to write a fic about the s4 finale after it ended the way it did. I am very upset at the writers for portraying Sullivan in the way they did—they did him dirty 110%. anyways, that’s where I come in with a fix-it fic. while all events that took place in the finale did happen prior to the start of this fic, that’s where similarities end. this is how Surrera makes it back to each other and how Sullivan makes it up to the team. also cute marina scenes because they’re married now (the only good part of the finale)

•

You can read this work on ao3 as well ; Prequel fic for Code Red

Written & cover by @thedefinitionofendgame

Chapter 1 - I Don't Know How

Andy was beginning to regret sleeping on the couch. When she had moved into Sullivan’s place after their marriage, she wasn’t so sure about a brown leather couch that had stiff rectangle sides. It turned out to be a good couch for movie watching and pretty sturdy for sex, but sleeping was a whole different story. Especially after seven days of this.

Sullivan—her husband but she had resorted to calling him only by his last name when she was mad—had told her that she could sleep in their bed and that he’d take the couch. But Andy was too angry to accept any pity from him. She could barely look at him, and wished she could just sleep at the station. However, with everything happening, the station was worse than sleeping in the same house as him. A traitor to her, her station 19 family and most of all to her best friend Maya. While it was out of respect for her best friend that she was angry at Sullivan, she was also just pissed off that he would try yet again to move up the ranks fast. Who on Earth ever thought that was a good idea? Clearly not Sullivan, because if he had stopped that thought for a goddamn moment, he wouldn’t have tried to swoop in and take Maya’s job.

“Stupid vulture,” Andy muttered under her breath, as she rolled over two inches and ended up off the couch. He was vulture-like; swooping in and stealing something that wasn’t his. Vultures ate dead animals on the sides of roads and Sullivan moving in after Maya’s captaincy job went up in flames, was really no different. Yes, Andy quite liked her new comparison of her husband to a vulture.

Unfortunately, Sullivan walked downstairs at that moment to see her smirking. “Something funny?” He asked, in the husky voice that he used only in the morning before his coffee. Ugh, she needed to take her mind off that immediately.

“No.” Andy refused to meet his gaze. Picking up the blanket she had stolen off their bed, she moved to climb the stairs. “I am going to take a shower and get ready. You better be out of this house by the time I return downstairs.”

Sullivan sighed. He had tried for the past week to try to get his wife to hear him out, but she wasn’t having it. He knew how stubborn and headstrong she was, although he never thought she would ever use it for longer than a couple hours on him. After day two, Sullivan found out he was very wrong. So he just begrudgingly agreed to whatever she told him. “Alright. You do know we could drive together? Save money on gas.”

“There is no way I’m sitting in the same car with you for the twenty minute drive to work. I can barely be in the same room as you for two.” With a final swish of her hair over her shoulder, she climbed the stairs and slammed their bedroom door behind her.

Sighing louder this time, Sullivan poured himself a coffee and leaned against the kitchen counter to drink it. He could hear the water start upstairs and he wished that he and Andy weren’t fighting. For reasons other than sex, of course. But his mind couldn’t help but wander because on a regular day he would’ve chased her to the bathroom and had his way with her. Clearly that wasn’t going to happen for a very long time now. Knowing he had better be gone by the time Andy got out of the shower, Sullivan quickly downed his coffee, grabbed his keys, wallet and phone, then left wondering if it was always going to be like this. He sure hoped not.

»«

When she emerged from the shower in a cloud of steam, Andy listened at the door for movement and wondered if Sullivan had actually left or not. She stepped outside of the bedroom but was met with silence. Andy silently thanked her husband for leaving; he had finally taken the hint that she didn’t want to hear his excuses. What he had done was unforgivable, and frankly Andy didn’t know if she would ever be able to look at him the same way. He really thought that it would be possible to justify his actions after everything that happened. Maybe Maya losing her job had been inevitable, yet it was not inevitable for Sullivan to volunteer himself for the captaincy position.

Andy thought she knew her husband. She thought she knew the man she had fallen in love with. While she understood how being demoted had affected him, mentally and physically, that did not mean he could go and take Maya’s captaincy job. When she had found out what he did, there had been so much yelling and screaming, Andy was surprised the neighbours didn’t call over wondering what the hell was going on. Her behaviour at the wedding was two days after what happened, and she was still steaming with anger.

Now, Andy was mad. But she wasn’t upset so much as disappointed. Yeah, that was what she felt. Disappointment. Nearly everyone she knew had been flabbergasted to say the least, that she had married the battalion chief after dating him in secret for a few months. Heck, Andy was a bit surprised herself. Yet Maya Bishop had stuck by her side and congratulated her about her marriage, even when the rest of the station freaked out. Travis and Vic had calmed down soon enough, though Jack seemed to be the most judgmental. Rightfully so, as Andy had turned down Jack’s proposal ages ago but accepted Sullivan’s when it was even more of a surprise. That didn’t mean Andy hadn’t been a bit hurt about it, and she had even ranted to Maya about everyone’s reactions later that night. Maya and Andy had had their rough moments—what friendship didn’t, was the real question—although in the end they were there for each other. They stuck up for each other, and they stood beside one another. Andy agreed with Maya’s call that day with the young boy who needed to get to a hospital as fast as possible. In the same situation, Andy would’ve done the same thing. She had been very tempted to tell Fire Chief McAllister that fact herself. Fear of losing her own job held her back at the time but now she wanted nothing more than to storm his office and tell him just what she thought.

Ugh, he just makes me so mad! Andy thought, slamming down her hairbrush. There were tangles in her curls still, yet she couldn’t be bothered to get rid of them. Instead she twisted her hair into a low bun and threw on some clothes. Time to face another day of work. Maybe she would go see Maya afterwards, and share her new nickname for Sullivan with her. At least that might make her smile. Maya could use all the love she could get right now, although luckily Carina was there to put her wife through the motions everyday…

»«

“Do you want me to go over there and punch him?” Carina asked, pacing up and down the short hallway between their living room and bedroom. “Because I will, and I don’t think he wants to hear an Italian woman screaming at him alongside the stinging blow to the face.”

Maya tried to smile to let her wife know that she was thankful for the sentiment, but everything was just too fresh to make a joke about. “No. I don’t want that. Plus what would Andy say?”

Carina’s eyes narrowed, then she relaxed them and the corners of her mouth turned up. “I heard Andy’s been arguing with Sullivan non-stop at the station. Even giving him the silent treatment. Like she said the other day, she’s on your side. So I personally believe she’d thank me if I decided to punch her husband.”

“Haha.” Maya finally laughed even though inside she felt like crying. It had been five days since she had lost her job. Lost her standing as captain and the respect it had built. She had been the first captain of Station 19, and frankly one of the first captains of the SFD. And for what, to be demoted back to firefighter for a small protocol issue? Damn, well clearly someone had it out for her from the beginning.

It made her feel a little bit better, though, to know that Andy was on her side. She could easily have taken her husband’s but she chose her best friend’s side. That was some dedication. Maya just hoped Andy and Sullivan’s marriage would be okay. She remembered making comments about their marriage on her own wedding day and how perfect they were. Little did Maya know at the time, Andy and Sullivan were fighting behind closed doors about his choice to swoop in and attempt to steal Maya’s job.

At this point, she didn’t even know what was going on at the station. Maya hadn’t been back to work since she got demoted, mainly because she had planned to take time off after her wedding. She and Carina couldn’t travel anywhere due to COVID restrictions, but they had planned to lounge around and have sex all day long. So much for those plans. It was yet another thing Maya was sorry about, and would need to make up for in the future. Luckily Carina didn’t seem to have a problem with their plans being cancelled. She preferred to play the game of “what other way can I make Sullivan miserable” every minute. Even though Maya knew Carina wouldn’t follow through with any of them, some of the things she thought up were sort of clever. The answers ranged from filling his turnout boots with lego bricks, to kicking him in the shins; both things Maya had thought about doing the day after she found out her verdict.

While Maya wasn’t anywhere near ready to forgive Sullivan, she certainly wasn’t as angry with him as Carina was. She was hurt and confused, but not angry. Which surprised Maya, because she normally jumped to conclusions when it came to wrong-doings. Though maybe Maya was growing as a person after this demotion. God, it still hurt to think about it.

Maya swung her feet off the couch and stood up. “I’m going to take a shower,” she announced.

Carina stopped pacing immediately. “Would you like company?”

Sadly, Maya shook her head. “No thanks, babe. But I would love some of the soup you made last night.”

“Okay, I’ll warm some up right now.” Carina quickly came over and wrapped her arms around Maya. “I love you, no matter what. I married you for you and I’m prepared to be here for all of it; the good, the bad and the ugly.”

“I love you too,” Maya said and leaned into her wife’s embrace. Maybe one day things would be okay. But clearly not for a very, very long time.

[jestdrabbles]

Thank you so much for all your comments on the endeavor stuff, they are a spot of bright light against the endeavor apologist stuff. I don't mind the 'endeavor redemption' thing in terms of how his children react differently to it, because I thought it was a really interesting exploration of both how they all reacted to the abuse and their own personal belief system. But like, I don't want him to succeed, I don't want his children/wife to forgive him because it's unforgivable.

He can talk shit about wanting to be better all he wants, but the character is fundamentally not able to be better because of how he's written, even now he ignores Shouto's wishes and dismisses the harm he put all of them through. Endeavor does not deserve forgiveness, and I hope he doesn't get it and that he goes through serious consequences for his actions and for the world to understand the monster he is wanting to be better while not acting much better shouldn't erase 20+ years of abuse

ANON, I FEEL YOU SO MUCH.

People really forget the overall timeline here and think a few months of calming down is enough to fix everything, and it really isn’t. He’s done the bare minimum (which is less actually doing anything productive and more just like not actively being a shitty, horrible parent).

In my eyes, nothing he does can justify keeping him around any of his kids’ or (should be ex) wife’s lives. If he wants to go be a better person, fine. But go do it away from them, and stop putting them in positions where they have to be the ones to forgive or pity him. They’re all valid in their complicated feelings, of course, and I’m not trying to take that from them. However, I personally cannot feel satisfied in a narrative that says he deserves to have a normal, happy family at the end of all this because he doesn’t.

The kids and Rei deserve a happy family with each other. He deserves to live with his regrets removed from them.

[mrsmamarhodey]

How to apologize when your mental illness affects your relationships

Let's say you have a breakdown due to your emotions and mental illness and hurt someone else as a result of it and you want to make things right. Well, here's a short list of do's and don'ts when approaching the issue:

DON'T

Say something like "Sorry, I acted this way because [insert illness or symptom". That's not an apology, that's an excuse. Everyone hates excuses.

Say something like "Sorry, I messed up, I should go die, etc." because that's not an apology, that's self-pity, and the other person will end up consoling you when it should be the other way around.

Say something like "Whoops, sorry, already self harm/smoke/[insert bad habit" because not only does it inadvertantly pin the blame on them, but also shows that you're incapable of holding yourself accountable.

Expect them to forgive you right away. Yes, it hurts, and things like depression make it feel worse, but remember that they're an individual and don't owe you anything. And you can still be on good terms with someone even if there are unforigven grudges.

DO

Focus on them. Ask them how they feel and what they believe can make things right, and tell them to be honest, and don't take their honest opinions personally. This is about them, not you.

Collaborate. Work together to right the wrong and discuss how you can prevent such a thing from happening in the future.

Make the committment to change. Because nothing will be fixed if you don't put in the effort.

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Remember, your mental illness doesn't justify being a jerk to others, and you are as accountable for your own actions as everyone else is for theirs.