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theteapotofdoom · 3 years

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what are your favorite jujutsu kaisen ships so far? :'D

I’M GLAD THAT YOU ASKED :D

Okay so, keep in mind that I’m still midway through the anime (I’m a very slow watcher I know, sorry everyone!) so I might not have all the info and I might not have met all the characters.

But for now, my two favourite ships are Itafushi and Nanago!

I think that Itafushi kind of speak for itself, their relationship is one of the main focuses of the story even early in the anime we see a lot of growth happening between the two of them. There’s also the good old moon/sun symbolism, you know? Call me basic, but I’m always here for a dynamic between a brooding but secretly soft dark boy and happy positive but also secretly deeply traumatised ray of sunshine.

One thing that I really appreciate about their relationship, is how normally Yuji treats Megumi. So far I’m assuming that Megumi has always been part of the sorcerer world and didn’t have the best childhood, and he seems to be kind of a prodigy or at least a sorcerer with a lot of potential. So I LOVE that whenever Yuji interacts with him, he treats him so normally and casually. Like yes, Yuji thinks that Megumi is amazing, but he doesn’t think that Megumi is amazing because of his power or his skills, he thinks that Megumi is amazing because he is ... well, Megumi! Because he’s fun to be around! Because he is kind and helpful! Because he has cool shadow dogs! Because he saves people! Like, no wonder Megumi got attached to Yuji so quickly. And I also love how Megumi was immediately ride or die for Yuji, again not because of his powers or anything like that, but because he is a kind selfless person who just wants to save as many people as he can.

I love that the thing that they admire the most about each other is their kindness and desire to help people instead of their powers or coolness. And while I’m at it, I would like to say that it’s so god damn refreshing to see two young boys in a shonen who aren’t rivals!!! Not even a little bit!!! (Well not from what I’ve seen anyways). Don’t get me wrong, I love me some good anime rivals, some of my favorite shonens are centered around rivals relationships, but it’s so nice to see something different. It’s like the author saw all the Sangoku and Vegeta, the Naruto and Sasuke, the Deku and Bakugou, and said “that’s nice but these two boys just really like each other actually” we love to see it.

I also really appreciate the angst/meta/analysis potential that they have. Again, I’m very early in the story, but I already noticed an interesting parallel where Megumi seems to always blame himself for all the bad things that happen to Yuji, and Yuji seem to believe that Megumi will inevitably regret saving him one day. So yeah ... it’s almost like 15 years old are immature and not emotionally ready to be thrown in life or death situations hmmmMMMMM ...

So yeah! Two very good soft boy who have a great very well written relationship, and that should maybe hold hands and kiss if they want to. Or at the very list they should hug and communicate and help each other.

NOW FOR NANAGO! I mean what can I say ... I’m just very into the old married couple + opposite attract dynamic. I also think that they’re two characters who balance each other perfectly even without the shipping, and I love that! They remind me of other ships that I love like Kakagai from Naruto and Kunikidazai from Bungou Stray Dogs. I just love that Gojo is one of the most powerful being in the universe and that Nanami is like “I acknowledge this but also fuck Gojo rights” and he is correct. Kind of like with Itafushi, I love how normally and casually Nanami treats Gojo. So far from what I’ve seen, Gojo is almost always defined/characterised by how powerful he is, and so the fact that Nanami doesn’t care about it AT ALL is delightful to me.

But there is more than that between them! I really liked how during his fight with Mahito, Nanami immediately realised how similar Gojo and Mahito are. I don’t remember his exact line, but it was something about them being two very young people born with a terrifying destructive power inside of them and still acting childish with it (something like this). And it really got me thinking you know? It made me think that although Nanami always bully Gojo, he also sees behind his facade, and he sees the ... loneliness? Void? Detachment? I don’t really know how to explain it yet because I’m still thinking about it.

LIKE there’s something about how Gojo is so powerful that he feels barely human at times and detached from humanity because everyone knows him as this godlike sorcerer, and then he meets Nanami who refuses to see him as such and constantly talks to him like a regular person. There’s SOMETHING about how Nanami doesn’t treat Gojo cautiously (or even respectfully) but just straight up calls him out on his bullshit when no one else really does, there’s something about Nanami basically telling Gojo "you’re just as human as the rest of us and you’re a mess and I still love you."

I was talking about it the other day with a friend, but it’s kind of a miracle that I like Gojo as much as do. Like yeah, he is very hot and fun, but he also has a lot of characteristic that usually annoy me with other characters, like being VERY overpowered and overly smug and confident, and just basically being “flawless” in the sense that you can just tell that the author wanted to make them as cool as possible. This usually annoys me, but with Gojo it doesn’t, because almost everyone else in the cast thinks that he is very lame and annoying and I love that. Especially Nanami! Nanami said “my boyfriend is not the most powerful sorcerer in the world, he is the most ANNOYING sorcerer in the world but I still kiss him tenderly”

Other ships that I love!

Nobamaki! I haven’t seen much of them yet, but the few seens that they had together were extremely cool, and it definitely feels like Nobara has big old crush on Maki and I love that for her! I’m very excited to see them interact more and maybe even fight side by side!

Itanoba/Itanobafushi! I’m putting them together because I kind of like as a whole and for the same reasons. I don’t necessarily see these ship as romantic but I wouldn’t mind if they were! I don’t see Itadori and Nobara as romantic for now but they have a great chaotic friendship and super fun “no braincell” dynamic so I wouldn’t mind if the author decided to develop them as a romantic pairing in the future. And I love Itanobafushi because I like the idea that Nobara and Megumi both have a big crush on Yuji so they just all decided to casually date. Like I said, I can enjoy these as platonic as well, I just like the vibes!

Nanahito (Nanami x Mahito) Listen ... it’s just an objectively hilarious ship. I am not immune to the wonderful potential dynamic of Mahito desperately simping for Nanami (who wouldn’t) and Nanami just being like “he’s alright I guess”. I think that I just both like both characters separately so it was easy for me to imagine some flirty vibes between them during their fight! Mahito had all this talk about “laying his hands on him” and “grabbing his soul” and then later he was like “should we hug in celebration of our reunion?” like okay sir!!! we get it!!! you are thirsty and you want nanami to step on you!!! we understand!!! But also Nanami was like “if we both manage to survive let’s meet again” not it might not be fully one sided who knows ...

Inumaki x his boyfriend who is studying abroad: I know nothing about this ship, but I like Inumaki a whole lot (partially because he is voiced by Uchiyama) and my friends told him that he had a boyfriend who is also a student but who is traveling to another country right now, and so I support them with my whole ass heart, go off you funky little gays.

#long post #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itafushi #nanago #gonana #nobamaki #itanoba #itanobafushi #nanahito

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ohbluesky · 3 years

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HELLO!!!!! I JUST SPENT THE LAST HOUR SCROLLING THROUGH YOUR BLOG AND ENJOYING ALL THE NEWTMAS CONTENT SM THANK YOU and i must ask, do you have any fic recs 👉👈

SDFGFGFG HI I’m so so glad you enjoyed all the newtmas content hehe (oH and i saw your tag under a fanart you reblogged, thank you sm for the translation! ;v;) And oh god thank you for asking tbh fghh it took me a little while to answer because I read way too many ffics and I needed to sort out everything haha (also I’m tagging @go-catch-a-chickn because I saw that you were looking for recs and I wasn’t really sure how to submit them properly so there, hope this can be useful! :>)

So here are some of my favourite fanfics that I’ve read so far! Most of them are Fix-it or taking place within The Maze Runner universe:

- The Blood Culmination, by persnickett (E) it’s still on-going but it must be my absolute favourite newtmas ffic :>!! I just keep re-reading it and patiently wait for each chapter fghfg Also it’s a fix-it and the writing style is so nice that I’m genuinely considering watching Die Hard for the sole purpose of reading all of their ffics.

- Taking Over Me, by wanderinghawke (T) one of the first newtmas ffic that I’ve read, I’m very attached to it fghfghg it’s a retelling of the first movie with elements from the book, also Telepathic Newtmas.

- Talk Me Home, by comebacknow (M) not gonna lie, I wasn’t very fond of the 3rd movie for various reasons but this ffic somehow reconciled me with it ? Pretty sure it’s in every newtmas ffic rec list because it’s just that good. It also has a miror fic, Reflections of Home, on hiatus but still *chef kiss*

- The whole Call My Name series by Kathsilver... actually I would rec all of their ffics, they’re Top Tiers. The amount of feels this series has given me is illegal lmao It’s also a fix-it, and TMH is a prequel to this series up to chapter 12, so I suggest reading it after at least passing that point with TMH.

- i know i don't know you (but there's somewhere i've seen you before) (M) we love some pre-maze angst... I love it sm along with all the ffics that were inspired by it.

- Literally all of zapfinoo’s ffics (yes, the parrot ffic too) They’re one of those author whenever they post anything I drop everything that I’m doing to read their stuff because I know I’ll love it. The fluffiest writing style.

- Also singtome I just love their writing style so much ?? I think my favourite is Polaris for now it’s one of the most oneiric ffic that I’ve read ? I love Adventures of Wingman and Glow Boy too for some reason, it's got a very appeasing vibe and it’s very fluffy too

- All Along, It Was You (E, but not really because) it’s incomplete but it’s still one of my favourite ffic! Love the characterisation and it’s both a recovery fic and a Fix-it fic after tdc (I’m very fond of fics that focus on these themes sooo)

- WCKD Academy Class A, by astralpenguin (T, Alternate Universe) Bodyguard vs. Assassins AU dfghghf it’s so good, it has multiple POV which I deeply appreciate bc you get to see a bit of all the characters, also has humourous and serious moments exactly at the right time I ??? Adore it. (I have yet to read their other ffics but I can’t wait hehe)

- leave as though fire burns under your feet series by teenagewaste (M) Trigger Warning for the first 2 ffics!! Very Heavy Angst, themes of depression, suicide, etc, make sure to look at the tags before reading! I actually only could bring myself to read it all thanks to the 3rd one (and wow it was so worth it imo)

- Run the Gauntlet, by ferne (M) it’s newtmas AND thomesa but mostly focuses on Newt’s and Teresa’s friendship :’> (and all I want to see in my life is Newt and Teresa being besties) i don’t know if you wanted exclusively ffics that focused on newtmas but I’m leaving it here just in case because it’s got some very good post-tdc/Fall of the Last City vibe.

- in wildest dreams (i never dreamed of this), by CerinityKS (Not Rated) it’s a Reincarnation AU and that shit really hurted man. I’m not gonna say too much to not spoil anything but Oh man.

- All of lokidiabolus’s ffics tbh! As someone who’s not so much into Modern Setting AUs I was completely caught up in anything they wrote ?? :’0 I can’t even pick a favourite, they’re all too good.

- Also all of Mazelike’s ffics too! There’s so much diversity on what they write about, and surprisingly they managed to write ?? ABO but it’s just fluff ??? Like even if you don’t like Omegaverse I think anybody who likes newtmas would love it (it’s NOT the only thing they wrote but that particularly STRUCK me lmao)

Okay so this is getting a bit long already so I’ll stop here :’D There are a tonne of ffics that are on my To Read list so I’ll see if I’ll update with more recs later! Hope that it could help :’>

#tmr #newtmas #fanfiction rec #long post

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berena-cpr · 3 years

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Unfinished Masterpieces - Fic Rec List

Remember the WIP on ao3 you can’t let go? The one that resonated with you? The one that you’d give anything to know how it ends?

While the Berena Creative Project Resuscitation event is all about starting to work again on projects sitting in our draft folders, life can get in the way of finishing a project for a hundred reasons.

These works, posted, but still a few chapters short of ending, are loved though and with this list we’d like to share the love for the unfinished masterpieces one can find in the Berena tag on ao3.

Given the high response we had when we asked to tell us about your favourite WIPs, you’ll find the list under the cut:

Anything Else to Declare? - LittleMissO

“I've personally had sleeping issues since I read LittleMissO's Anything Else to Declare because yeah, I'm still there, breath held and heart pounding like crazy after the most delicious slow burn, and pining, and that outrageously flirtatious conversation over a whiskey.”

that line between your heart and mine - ktlsyrtis

“it is just plain hot but also I love the idea of them writing letters to each other and I also love the exploration of what their relationship might be like with Bernie still being in the RAMC.”

you disappear like your cigarette smoke (now the taste of your kiss is all that remains) - bonnissance

“A wonderful, emotional angst filled fic, looking at how Bernie’s life might still have progressed after Serena left. I loved how it showed her testing her own boundaries to see if it was possible to find another relationship with someone else and when she found that wasn’t something she could do, she accepted it and found other ways to be happy without Serena. I reread it fairly often because although unfinished it doesn’t ever seem incomplete. But the last word “Serena” always leaves me full of a hope that I would dearly love to have fulfilled.”

Secrets in the Dark - Wonko

“I’d love to see this continued!”

For a Good Time Call - Regency

“Young Serena using that pure sex voice of hers to make a little extra as a phone sex operative, and young nervous Bernie taking the first tentative steps in exploring her sexuality. Who better than Serena to help her figure things out? The premise of the fic is ingenious, the writing amazing, the dialogue just outstanding. Hot, sexy, soft and full of compassion and feels. I would sell a kidney to read the next chapter to this – Bernie and Serena meeting years later and recognising each other’s voices.”

you're the only one I never looked for - gutsandglitter

“Never expected I'd enjoy a Baby Boom AU, but I love this fic. Serena hanging out in the country feeling extremely overwhelmed and constantly running into this weird tall, awkward woman named Bernie is a mood. I will forever hold out hope for an update so that I can someday read about them having lots of sex (after an appropriate amount of angst, miscommunication, and unexpected grocery store encounters, of course).”

Things Kayryn doesn't write - Kayryn

“So they’re not exactly unfinished, because they are complete, beautifully crafted, amazingly inventive, head canons, but they’re not completed fic’s so I’m counting them. I actually think that’s one of the lovely things about them, there’s a full story in there but enough space in them to bring your own imagination to the details. The fact that every head canon is spot on and you can completely image it happening is the icing on the cake, and the perfect characterisation is the cherry on top. Canon could have taken lessons from from Kayryn”

I Want to be Your Fantasy (Maybe You Could Be Mine) - Regency

“I just love the concept and the first chapter just pulled me in and I so very much want to know what happens next.”

Notting Hill - Bat_and_Breakfast

“All the “Rom Com idiots in love but they don’t know it miscommunication capers” re-envisaged for Berena you say? Sign me up! I love the way the plot of Notting Hill is absolutely recognisable, but never at the expense of Bernie and Serena’s characters. Everything they do, their responses, the dialogue, is so them. And the cleverly cast Holby regulars as supporting stars - genius. It’s an absolute triumph of transformative work. It’s wonderfully and engagingly written. If you’ve ever got sucked into watching “just a bit” of rom com and found you’ve just lost a couple of hours of your life - this fic does the same thing.”

Follow Me There - troiing

“Full disclosure: I’ve never watched Sanctuary and I know nothing about the characters. But this crossover fic is so good, that it doesn’t even matter.”

hold me closer (tiny dancer) - serenacampbell

“I don’t know why I’m so attached to that fic, but I am. I love the premise of a slow burn fic where the characters still get to do sexy things during the awkward slow burn oblivious period. It’s like the best of both worlds.”

Machu Pechinku - Jrnsaxa

“Forget France and Nepal, what if Serena spent her sabbatical in Peru? The setting in this is beautifully vivid, as is the the delicate ways in which Serena and Bernie start to reconnect after Elinor.”

Hello, Major - lesbianquill

“This is a near perfect Serena being fixated on Bernie in fatigues fic. The first chapter is very insightful, helping us to understand why Bernie might not be happy to accede to Serena’s small kink/obsession. That of course doesn’t last for too long because Bernie loves Serena and she loves having sex with Serena. It was offered as a smutty one shot, but then they rewarded us with an even smuttier second chapter and teased us with the news that a third chapter would be forthcoming. It never happened. Main reason for wishing it could be continued? I enjoy well-written smut.”

In the Spirit of Three Stars - alwayssomethingelse

“Bernie and Serena as Federation officers on Deep Space Nine. Oh, the potential!”

Anatomically Correct - phantomunmasked

“Bernie severely overcompensating for any possible awkwardness in their first time by ordering a mountain of sex toys is a premise that will always delight me. Every time I go back to this one, I ponder what their weekend away would bring with a big grin.”

The Clinic - RexWolfe

“Maybe it’s all the Bramwell we’ve been watching, but this one’s been on my mind lately. Can’t go wrong with a Victorian AU.”

a life in pictures - Regency

"I soooo want to see Serena maybe modelling for Bernie (or at least just how the date goes)”

working up a storm inside my head - sevtacular

“While this isn’t actually an unfinished fic in the sense of chapters missing, the prompt fic collection of Sev can always be added to as far as I’m concerned. Love what has been written so far, hope there will be new chapters with time.”

Body and Soul - ChalkHillBlue

“Possibly the weirdest AU idea ever, this body swap AU makes my brain go crazy with the possibilities every time I read it.”

When We Need One Another The Most - Whispersmummy

“I know this isn’t strictly Berena but it wouldn’t have been written if not for the Berena fandom who love most every conceivable way these two dorks might get together. Very well written (imo) and cleverly constructed fic. Lots and lots of angst and who doesn’t love angst? Only thing missing is a small amount of smut. (Yes I’m back there).”

Ring In The New - fiveroundsrapid

“Fics where Bernie comes to Holby before/during Adrienne’s illness are my kryptonite, and this one is so good!”

Holby One: A Star Wars AAU Story - elitryalittle

“Holby One is my favorite unfinished fic. It’s not just because I came to Berena via Star Wars (a bit of an unusual way, but here I am), but also because I can totally see Serena as a healer and Bernie as a Jedi knight. Kudos for their excellent knowledge of the SWU and this great idea of a crossover fic. I’d give them a limited edition “Looking for Leia” patch and a sticker if they’d finish it.”

to gaze at you, from afar (I sigh, I sigh, I sigh) - bonnissance

“The photographer/model AU you never knew you needed in your life, but you really, really do.”

Heroic Endeavor - Nicolaruth27

“I never would’ve thought I’d be down for a Greek god AU, but this fic has permanent residence in a corner of my brain. Bernie as Athena in mortal form is inspired, and the way the fic is interwoven with canon is a delight.”

what a lovely way to burn - ktlsyrtis

“I just love anything that's weaved into canon but with them being happy and dating and communicating."

Love, Unexpected - Igerna

“Bernie is still married to Marcus when she meets Serena during a conference. They immediately bond and keep in contact, sharing both professional advice and thoughts on their private lives. Love, for them, happens rather unexpectedly. I do love conference fics and slow burns - and this is a good one.”

a little less war torn - kitnkabootle

“The setup for this - in which Serena is the one who goes to help when Bernie is brought to Holby, instead of Raf - is one of my favorite ‘what ifs’ to ponder, and the writing is outstanding.”

#berena #bernie wolfe #serena campbell #holby city #berena cpr #fic rec

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ginkgomoon · 3 years

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Helios- A Character Study

I have always been fascinated by Helios so I’m especially excited about this post! If there’s any other additional information you would like to add, ask, or discuss, feel free to send an ask or a post so I can adjust and clarify for you. But before that, I have other things I want to add that are important regarding my blog- I will be expanding and analysing other characters in MLQC, so not to worry Victor, Kiro and Lucien (and Shaw, Eli?, Savin?) stans! I has't not hath left thee! In addition, before every analysis/study that I do, I will post a hint (such a quote) that will foreshadow the upcoming character/topic I will be covering. I know it’s not necessary and literally nobody does it but this is great fun for me so I also want to try to make it fun for you guys to approach my blog and my work! This is a spoiler buffet. Please don’t read if you don’t want to be spoiled! This is probably the longest post ever on my blog so enjoy :)

“You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.” -The Dark Knight

Who is Helios?

??: Do you know what Helios means? The mocking in his face had returned. He suddenly came close and placed his hand on the window behind me. I was imprisoned in his arms and couldn’t move. His eyes drilled into my own. I felt that if I showed even the smallest hint of discomfort or fear, he would use that as an excuse to push me away. MC: Helios is the sun god from Greek mythology- ??: I don’t like that name.

Helios is the God of the Sun, sight and a guardian of oaths. He is seen to be riding a golden chariot to bring the sun across the skies each day from east (where the sun rises) to west (where the sun sets).

Kiro has lots and lots and lots of sun, light, dark and shadow imagery attached to him. Kiro is noted to be everyone’s sun, especially for MC and vice versa as she’s noted to be the one to chase the darkness away with Kiro following through. When he has those stage moments as his idol identity, it’s expected for him to be the guiding light (especially for his fans, the Kirophiles)- “the sun” and “hope” as to what “Kiro” represents, without any impurities associated with that persona. Which is ironic for Helios, who dressed mostly in black without the blonde hair, to have that same name as the God of the Sun working in BLACK SWAN- the organisation with the name literally having “black” in it as well.

“If Kiro is this exuberance and this life, Helios is the opposite of that. It’s what if we took someone who stopped finding reasons to be happy, who stopped finding a lot of things to be passionate about and was just trying to get on day by day- they react to the things that happen to them, rather than going out to look for adventure. Helios lacks a lot of emotion that Kiro has.” -Sean Chiplock, Kiro’s VA

Kiro and Helios

“If I had a dark side… I should hide it from others, right…? Can I really be imperfect?”

There had been a lot of discussion around Helios in relation to his transformation, whether he was acting and what Kiro’s connection with BLACK SWAN is.

To clarify, yes- Kiro is Helios. Helios is Kiro. Just like how Kiro admitted to MC that he’s also the hacker KEY. Helios is just one of the personas that Kiro has (which I will expand on in a future post). This, however, does not hinder negatively on Kiro’s personality, but introduces us to another side of him, one that shows effective in-depth characterisation. Especially when we first view him as the cheerful idol with the power to passively attract others. Kiro first gave off the certain impression to Sean Chiplock that you “don’t take off the calm and quiet person, because you don’t want to see the other side of them”.

Kiro and Helios, which one was the real him? Neither? Or both? -Clinic Date

Before MC has her first encounter with Helios, we have to look more into Kiro’s background and childhood.

Kiro was experimented on as a kid. He didn’t know his name, his birthday or where he came from. Through the experiments of genetic modification, he obtained his evol. Only when MC and the original KEY came to him, did he really strive to fulfil his sense of purpose of “we shall stand in darkness as we defend the light”, and also to protect MC back. His mentor used to be the original Helios, one of the twelve-ranking positions in BLACK SWAN, but went missing when Kiro was 15. Been given the name Kiro, using his idol identity, accepted this as Helios and as of the leader of BLACK SWAN to rid Leto- the true evil of the Season 1 timeline.

It is evident that he does genuinely care about his fans, his career and music despite all of this. This aspect of him is very much true (we see that he exposes a person scamming his fans in Chapter 3 and that in his various dates he dedicates his work to comforting his fans in their everyday lives). However, with this much love and support from everyone with very few knowing his true intentions and darker past, it is easy to “trip up” upon these identities, in a way that he would feel so lonely (as I reiterate what I said above) that everyone would think he’s the perfect man (not saying he isn’t because we all know he is!) without any troubles or experiencing difficulties climbing up the ranks to be where he is now- especially with his evol being charm and control. He would wonder if it’s really him or his evol making people act this way towards him (why he has this much love and attention).

In reality, every teacher who has met him adored him very much. But because of this, Kiro always remained in fear. From the beginning to the end, he had felt that the love and care from others was akin to smoke - surging at first, but from thereafter, dissipates gradually. -CN Stunning Young Idol Rumours and Secrets

He’s like a little sun with no dark spots at all. No wonder people say people say he has a super power. He seems to be loved by everybody… -Chapter 3-1

“A lot of people adore me, but only when I’m doing my thing on stage. They wouldn’t want to see me now...” -Visiting Hours Date

It would be incredibly hard for him to keep this standard and uphold these burdens with his identity as Helios and KEY as well- where everyone would believe those personas of him to be the “vice”- the “evil”, in morality play. Because when the people who love you only know and love this side of you, what becomes of you when you lose it all?

Superstar Kiro was a little angel who received the admiration and respect of thousands and thousands of fans. What the hacker KEY sounded like was someone with malicious intentions.

Kiro didn’t know which one of his identities was more famous. Though of course, nobody would correlate these two polar-opposite identities together. -CN Heavens Home for Children Rumours and Secrets

He always looked so carefree in front of people, smiling and laughing. But when he was alone in the corner, he always looked so solemn and tired. Countless times, Savin had wanted to talk to Kiro about his work, life and feelings but with just a few words, Kiro would always put him to ease. -That Boy Makes Me Worry Rumours and Secrets

However, behind his brilliant smile, I could occasionally feel something different. It was like paper that couldn't be penetrated. After all, he was a superstar. Ordinary people like us wouldn't understand their world, they must have one or two faces of their own behind the screen. -Secret Base Rumours and Secrets

In the makeup room, sitting on the sofa, Kiro had lost some shine he had under the spotlight and looked a little bit exhausted. -Confession Date

In a way, Kiro still staying so pure and happy when others are around is because he doesn’t want people to suffer like he did. He had an extremely rough time when he was young, but his beliefs, light and hope that MC gave him allowed him to fight for better days.

I then thought about the superstar Kiro many years later, who was always shining and effortlessly charming. This made me really sentimental. How many things must he have been through to become strong enough to bring light to other people? -Echoes of Time: Parisian Salon

She looked so pretty when she smiled, and she also had a father who loved her dearly. She was definitely… someone who deserved to live the most. -CN Top Experimental Subject Rumours and Secrets

His dazzling smile conceals something underneath, just like how the dazzling sun shrouds darkness underneath. Hidden in the depths of his own secrets are things even darkness doesn’t know of. If darkness had a mind of its own, it might think it doesn’t fit with this pure and simple youth. Just as how everyone thinks of him as a simple, innocent Kiro, the sunlight casted on him, able to pierce through him completely, with rays of light refracting onto the floor. Actually, since a very long time ago, he no longer was a youth… But now, for her sake, he’s willing to become a youth again. -CN Youthhood Rumours and Secrets

The thing I like most about you is that you never admit defeat and you always stay positive. Every time I see you it's like you’re this brilliant sun and I feel charged of energy. Maybe all the lonely times I’ve been through... was so that I could meet you. -Confession Date

When they were younger, they were together as test subjects for evol. MC promised him donuts. He gave her a stuffed teddy bear. Kiro tried to help MC escape but they got caught and separated. They had spent quite some time together, so Kiro would be able to recognise MC once they had met again. Kiro had to replace another child for a top experiment, and the workers thought he’d die anyway as he was too weak. But still, he had survived and became the first and only successful subject. MC showed him that there was kindness- light- that still existed in the darkest of places. And in the darkest parts of his heart, there was MC to light those areas up for him :)

“Look, this world is so beautiful, and you don’t need to be afraid anymore.” But till now, he has yet to find her. But he remembers her eyes. And one day, he will find her within a vast sea of people.

Kiro remains speechless- quietly listening to the little girl speak. The little girl struggles to pull on his hand. Their fingers interlock together, the warmth from her palm gradually coursing into Kiro’s heart. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you.” Kiro turns to look at her - to look at her perseverant brown eyes, looking at how the corners of her lips turn upwards. Kiro slowly learns how to curl the corners of his own lips from her. It’s the first smile to have appeared on his face. “This time, I’ll be the one protecting you.” Kiro says excitedly. He stands outside the airport, staring directly at the sun. “I’ll find you, and protect you. I even have a mountain of souvenirs stored in my luggage- I’ll give them to you! And my purest heart - I’ll give it to you too!” -CN Youthhood Rumours and Secrets

Helio’s Transformation

“Because only you can awaken me from darkness, no matter when.”

When Kiro transforms to Helios, it mainly affects his physical appearance. His hair grows longer and changes to colour, and his black (and super cool) NIRVANA tattoo appears. When he is weak, the tattoo fades (seen in Clinic Date.)

Nirvana- a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.

I looked at his silver hair. It looked very natural with no signs of hair dye. In the serene moonlight, it was very beautiful. It wasn’t dyed, and it didn’t look like it turned silver because of an illness or something. -Chapter 17

Helios’s ring also plays part of his transformation. This is ultimately connected to BLACK CABIN and the 1908′s White House Explosion- when evol was born. From this high-dimensional space, Kiro is able to take on as Helios- who also known to be BS’s first generation of god. He can change upon his will, and influences from BLACK CABIN/QUEEN can cause him to lose control.

The golden hair mixed with the bright silver. He raised his finger, and the silver ring flashed. He muttered quietly, as if speaking to the ring and to himself. -Behind The Curtain Part 6: After Returning

Moonlight shone through the window, illuminating his silver hair with a golden glow for an instant. He buried his face in his right elbow, and large beads of sweat formed on his brow, as if a kind of uncanny transformation was occurring. “NOT NOW!!!” He howled hoarsely, his eyes now golden in the darkness. Residual power inside the Quarantine zone appeared to be affecting him. Violent forces jolted in the tiny space, and coursed through his obsidian ring. -Night Watchman Rumours and Secrets

Chapter 14

He turned and looked at me, his face a pallid white. His smile was still gentle. Suddenly, I felt intensely uneasy.

MC: “We’re going in, right?”

Kiro didn’t answer, his eyes intent on me gleamed with a flash of golden light above. When I looked carefully, I discovered his eyes turned into this exquisite gold like pure amber, or crystallised time.

Kiro: “I command you…”

I have never heard him sound like this before. Stiff, stern and solemn.

“All within my range of control belongs to me. Now walk onto the rooftop, lock the door, and don’t let anyone in… including me... Don’t be afraid. You’ll be okay. I said before, I will definitely succeed this time. I will always protect you.”

In saying this, he believes that his own sacrifices are necessary, no matter what the situation is. Kiro is willing to dim or even smother his own light and sun for MC to be safe and happy.

A black figure suspended in the air behind Kiro, just like scythe-toting Death himself… I seemed to see a golden-winged bird fly by, like a ray of light crossing the sky, leaving a temporary light trail in my vision.

“Death”, “golden-winged bird”, and “light”.

This sentence was highlighted in the chapters’ outline from the chapter contents. This implies the symbolism of the phoenix bird- the mythical bird that rises from the ashes and is reborn again. Kiro was captured by BLACK SWAN as punishment and had undergone modification- and was resurrected as Helios.

Chapter 17

He was standing in front of me. Half of his face was hidden in the shadows, but I could see the sharpness of his eyes and eyebrows. He took the notebook away from my hands before I could finish my sentence.

As MC gets tied to the table, flashbacks from suppressed memories emerge. We see Kiro and MC together being test subjects. (Fun fact- Kiro and MC’s blood type is O!)

White walls. A deserted lab. A cold med table. And a blond boy with agony in his face. Next to him lay a brown-haired girl who was unconscious. …Was that me? I looked at the blood pouring out from the IV. Tears came from my eyes. Kiro… Our lives were connected long before. But where are you now?

She finally realises that Kiro was that boy from the orphanage.

AND I JUST REALISED SOMETHING. HAS HELIOS NEVER OUTRIGHTLY ADMIT THAT HE’S NOT KIRO? LIKE HE NEVER SAID “NO”??

MC: Are you really not Kiro?

??: How long are you going to keep calling me by that wrong name?

(Yes, it’s technically the wrong name because right now he’s called Helios but he’s also technically still Kiro!)

He didn’t sound particularly annoyed, but I felt saddened.

MC: I…

I looked at his face. Every line, feature- they resembled Kiro, but at the same time wasn’t.

MC: I’m sorry… I must be wrong…

I hung my head low. His face may resemble him, but his expressions were so unlike Kiro and I didn’t want to see that.

But my intuition told me that my hunch was not wrong. If that was correct, then one of my paths was already sealed.

Helios: What makes you think that I wouldn’t? You already know where I’m from. Why are you being so naïve? I shook my head. MC: Kiro wouldn’t do this to me… An unknown emotion flashed in his eyes.

Poor Kiro, having to pretend to not know MC and act so cold towards her. It must have been incredibly hard and painful for the both of them. Please just LET THEM BE TOGETHER.

Kiro isn’t risking MC see this darker side of him. He truly doubted if anybody would accept him as Helios, because he was just so used it before as an idol having to act so perfect on screen, showing everybody what they wanted to see.

“MC. Step a meter away from him, and close your eyes.

The golden flashes in his pupils were the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes.

“I command you to forget what just happened. And I command you to forget about me. Remember, I’m just Helios.”

My memories were being erased bit by bit. Kiro was fading from my sight. His smiles, his eyes, his warmth… all of them became vague like a fog and disappeared. I tried my best to hold onto them, but it was all in useless.

Kiro… Even the name I tried to hold on till last was wrenched away from me. He watched silently as MC closed her eyes and blacked out in his arms.

“I’m sorry…”

He apologised again quietly. His eyes that once held warmth and brightness were again now filled with shadows.

“I will find the truth that you’re looking for. I don’t want you to bear that heavy burden. I’ll come back to you some day, but not today. Don’t remember my dark sides. In your eyes, I will always remain Kiro to you. After I take care of everything, things can go back the way they were between us. This time, I’ll make sure that you don’t have to wait long.”

“He looked a lot like Kiro. But it wasn’t him.”

In my palm was a small candy glistening in the sunlight. On impulse I unwrapped the paper and put it in my mouth.

MC: Apple flavour…

It somehow crossed my mind that it was Kiro’s type of flavour.

He wants MC to still have faith in him, and to trust in his abilities to protect her, as the candy is a motif for their relationship and exchange towards each other. (This was the same back in the orphanage when they were together too.) However, as his identity as Kiro, not the Helios she encountered. (Dramatic ironyyyy)

“We shall stand in darkness as we defend the light.”

Thorns Date

In the photo, Kiro looked completely different from what he usually looked like. On the glistening water, a youth held a birdcage, with a glint of melancholy in his drooping eyes. This was the last set of photos before quitting.

Kiro asked for my praise with shiny begging eyes, as if the prior sorrow and blue were all my illusions.

We stood very close to each other, yet at this moment, I felt there was a formed gap between us.

“MC, do you think the imprisoned bird can get out of the cage?”

There seemed to be a ray of golden light flashing through my mind but I couldn't catch it. (The thought that Helios came to see her?? Yes.)

I remember his distance, his apathy, yet puzzling familiarly.

Helios saw the magazine falling from my bag, his face flashing with complicated emotions I couldn’t comprehend. And I felt the familiar feeling of being touched deep in my soul.

“You like gazing at me a lot.”

Standing at the edge of the dark abyss, he opened his arms and leaned backward without hesitation. He fell straightly like a folded winged bird in the moment. (Similes, metaphors and symbolism galore!)

I sat on the ground limply and closed my eyes to avoid the dazzling light. This scene felt so familiar as I had experienced such a farewell.. Why?

My senses told me this man was Helios, yet the feelings from deep of my heart were so real.

“Helios! Do you… know how the imprisoned bird can get out of the cage?”

“Why do you think I will answer this question?” Behind such eyes, there seemed to be something else I couldn’t make out in the shadow.

I seemed to see him unfold a pair of black wings on his back and about to flutter away. No more cages could imprison him and nothing could make him stop. Helios walked from the bright light into the shadow.

He recalled her last question and her sad and confused eyes. Suddenly he recalled an ancient story. There was a kind of bird. It was always trapped in the thorns of fate from the moment of its birth. If the most beautiful thing was doomed to be exchanged with the deepest pain. He would overcome all obstacles to come back to her. And be her sun again.

The story that Helios recalled could be The Nightingale by Hans Christian Andersen.

In Ancient China, one of the forests lived a nightingale, who sang so beautifully everybody would stop and listen. The nightingale was renowned to be the best wonder out of all the things that the travellers abroad had ever seen. However, the Emperor of China didn’t know that such a bird existed, and demand to have it found.

The bird had come willingly to sing for the Emperor, singing so sweetly that tears came out of everybody’s eyes. The nightingale lived in the court thereafter, until one day the Emperor had received a mechanical copy of the bird, golden with precious gems and all. The nightingale had left, and all the courtiers had said that it was an ungrateful creature. It was therefore banished from the empire.

The mechanical bird had stopped working, only being able to play once every year. Five years had passed, and the Emperor fell ill that nobody expected him to live. Death had arrived to the Emperor as he prayed for the bird to sing a note. The living nightingale had appeared again, and had come to sing out of trust and hope for the Emperor. Death went to look at the Emperor’s renowned garden as the Emperor was thankful for the bird’s singing. She sang again, and the sun rose through the window and as everybody thought the Emperor had passed. The Emperor wanted the nightingale to stay by his side but it refused. It cannot live in the palace, but promised to visit the Emperor to sing to him.

Similar to Chapter 14, in this date, Kiro is represented as the bird, trapped in the cage. He had to release what everyone wanted him to be- Kiro, the shining sun/bird trapped in the cage under their control- ironic how his evol is absolute control because his charm would have drawn people this way in as a result. And the only way to be free was to be resurrected, to escape, to disappear from public view- to become free as Helios.

Light Pursuit Date

“Will you forget me?”

Kiro was becoming faint like a water mist. Panicking, I reached out to grab him but he slipped away from my fingers. An invisible wall had come between us and I couldn’t get close to him. This one step was like an unbridgeable gap between us, but it was like a line that we could never cross.

Will I forget Kiro? That sudden question in my head became clearer, and made me tremble in panic.

He had the name of a sun god, but even I couldn’t feel any bit of warmth.

MC: What is Helios here for?

Helios: We meet again, MC.

This was the first time that Helios called me by my name. He was brusque as ever, but there seemed to be a small amount of yearning in his voice. He did not act the way like the Helios that I used to know. His attitude and manners were surprisingly refined… like he was acting out a whole different persona.

The music changed into Por Una Cabeza- the tango song that I was very familiar with.

(I absolutely love the intertextuality that the game has. It’s a Spanish tango song that was also appeared in Scent of a Woman starring Al Pacino where the tango scene featured a blind man dancing with a woman who didn’t know how to dance and was scared of making mistakes. This correlates perfectly for MC and Helios. MC’s body is reacting to Helios as if he was Kiro...)

I didn’t drink, but I felt drunk somehow. Otherwise how else would this reachable warmth and illusion of intimacy familiar?

We were so close to each other, but the distance between us was only one step away, but a step we could never cross.

Helios looked up when he heard my voice. His eyes seemed to have trouble focusing. His blue eyes wavered like a lake sprinkling with sunlight. Surprisingly, there was sorrow, and naivety in those usually unfeeling eyes.

He lowered his head and his chin rested on my shoulder. I have never seen Helios so vulnerable. His hands were wrapped around my waist, leaving no space between us. Helios didn’t answer and continued to keep me pressed to his body. There was a deep aura of loneliness and bitterness about him that was barely discernible from his cold exterior.

Because to me, you were familiar to someone I deeply care about. Because my soul resonates when I am close to you. Because…. of a ridiculous assumption. Did I reach the edge of truth? Or was I just deceiving myself? A thick fog was obscuring me from seeing the truth clearly. I didn’t continue talking or thinking. MaybeI was so vaguely aware that this was the closest I could get to him. Only one step away but a distance I could never close.

MC is also scared. She’s in turmoil. She wants to know the truth but she’s also sitting on the fence with it. Especially due to the memory wipe. It’s like, “maybe it’s better if I don’t,” and “I think you are that someone I care so much about but I can’t be sure about it because even if I ask you, you won’t tell me, and I don’t know what to do.”

Stardust Date

Kiro: That’s right. I’m going to a far, far place. And I will stay there for a very long, long time. Don’t cry when you start missing me. MC: I’m not going to cry!

Kiro: But I will. So promise me, alright? Don’t forget me, even if I leave.

Two days afterwards, I heard him talk to someone on the phone. I’m pretty sure it was his voice, but it sounded like he was a completely different person.

What was he trying to hide? Did it have anything to do with his “leaving”? Was it out of his own will or was he involved in something under duress?

The confident smile on his face as he glided his fingers across the keys fluently, showed his passion for this show. As songs were played after another, he became more focused. I could tell from his expression that he was fully immersed in this performance. As long as he was given a stage and music, he’d become the centre of attention no matter what position he was in. However, the more passion I saw, the more I was scared for his “leaving”. He is the sun- what will happen to his supporters when they lose him? And what about me? What will happen to me?

Light and Shadow Phone Call

MC: Is that melancholy in your voice? It’s unlike you to be down like this.

Kiro: Really? Does everyone think I’m that shallow?

MC: Of course not. But you are the brightest and warmest sun, so it’s easy to be touched by your optimistic side first.

Kiro: But right now, the sunlight is getting too strong that it’s scorching…

MC: Hmm? Is it? right now it’s sunset where you are?

Kiro: Yes. I’m sitting atop of Namibia’s Dune 45 and everything is red. Even the sun is sinking low.

MC: Soon, it will sink beyond the horizon.

Kiro: Yes… Miss Chips, Since you say I’m like the sun, and the sun eventually sets...

Kiro: If I have a dark side, I should hide it from others, right?

MC: Why should you hide it?

Kiro: Because, I don’t want to show you and I don’t want to disappoint others.

MC: But you’re just you, Kiro.

Kiro: I am who I am?

MC: Yes. Why can’t a sun have shadows? Even the real sun has sunspots! People who really care for you will love both the warm sunny side and the occasional dark, depressed side.

Kiro: But I always feel...

MC: Everyone has a side they want to hide in the shadows. No one is expected to be required as perfect. That applies to my little sun as well.

Kiro: Can I really be imperfect?

MC: Absolutely. To me, all sides of you are worth cherishing.

Kiro: Thank you, MC.

MC: What’s there to thank?

Kiro: Because… only you are willing to see the weak and plain side that I’m hiding and accept both my light and my shadow.

MC: That’s why I’m your own personal tree hole! I’ll keep your sorrows tucked away for you!

Kiro: Thank you Miss Tree Hole. I’m so lucky to have you. In fact, you are my sun who gives me light to embrace the world every morning. Thank you, for always being there by my side.

This call is so significant for Kiro, and his battle between light and dark. After his evol went out of control, he’s afraid of hurting his fans and MC. Similes and metaphors are used to compare his evol/different personas as the sun and how it will soon go down. He confronts the truth that he will also have to leave the public view soon, and uses this opportunity of the call to confirm what MC thinks if he had imperfections/shadow sides. And of course, to thank her before he leaves.

Chapter 21 (Winter World)

He was so fast that his moves were a blur. He dodged every attack and landed his own with grace and strength. It was like watching a silver moonlight dancing in flowing moves.

“You seem to be completely ignorant about how weak you are.”

I was trapped in a little cage he made with his body against the wall. The cruelty in his face crumbled the last of my shields. he didn’t stop there. He leaned in with his whole body hemming me into the confined space he created.

Helios: Weaklings should learn to survive on their own. No one will teach you that.

MC: I don’t want to be a weakling forever.

Helios: Then you better figure out how to become stronger.

He dropped his sarcastic tone. Instead, each syllable fell from his mouth with upmost earnestness.

Helios: Use all your strength. Every method you can think of. Abandon your past...even abandon yourself. If you can’t do that, then just go back tot the world you came from.

1562 clutched tightly on his friend’s blanket, refusing to let go. However, in the end, he was shoved onto the ground because his strength was too weak. He had collided so hard that he couldn’t get up for a long while. -CN Top Experimental Subject Rumours and Secrets

If MC hadn’t come, then there would be no real sun in his life. He would only have artificial light. And he would be right- Helios would be just Helios. He wouldn’t bother much about fans or music, but using this identity to climb the system. He had to learn the hard way on how to survive. Nobody was there for him, thus it would be harder for him to feel empathy towards others in situations other than this.

The sun had risen completely. The increasing bright light drowned everything that belonged in the darkness. Helios remembered that day a long time ago. In the darkness, the withered hand touched his head and said faintly, “become Kiro, be the so-called “sun”.

At that time, he had lowered his eyes, nodded blankly, and simply walked out into the night, emitting a false light that was not his own. But today… Helios looked off into the distance, and seeing the dazzling morning light, he remembered the girl… At that moment, he saw the real sun. -Between Light and Darkness Rumours and Secrets

From “Behind The Curtain”, MC fell into the space-time gap and was saved by Helios. Even though he couldn’t see her as they were in different dimensions, she could be influenced by him. This wasn’t the first time that he’s tugged on that bond tying them together to BLACK CABIN. Thank you Helios also for helping bring MC back to her original world.

Chapter 28

Kiro: You should know about everything that I’ve done.

MC: I know that... you’re Helios.

Kiro’s eyes flickered and blinked at me. The golden hair under the now eclipsed sunlight seem to have an extra glow to it. Kiro: Is my name really that important?

MC: Why did you hide it from me? I trusted that you would tell me. That no matter what name you had, you really wouldn’t change...

Kiro: If a superhero were to turn into an arch-villain, would those who always believed in him lose hope? What he want most is for you to be a fairy, free of all cares. Not getting hurt, not getting worries, whose only responsibility is receiving signals and joy and happiness.

Kiro: However, if she is determined to go do something difficult, and she wants to bear this burden on her own... then I wish for her to be a little superhero, who can fly through it all with ease.

Chapter 29

“Don’t get all angry. The person beside you didn't even notice any difference between us. Or put it another way, it seems that “you” aren’t important in this role that you’re playing. Anybody can replace you.” -Anole

Anole is wrong (and just jealous). MC did notice, and plus, he probably wouldn’t have survived in the top experiment that Kiro had undergone in the orphanage. That was something only Kiro would have survived, with his willpower and determination in his heart to make a better life for himself and MC- something that Anole clearly lacks.

I had never seen Helios laugh before. His smile wasn't as dazzling as his golden-haired counterpart’s, but one could say that if the former him was the sun, then his smile was now a gentle moon.

THE IRONYYY. Helios is finally okay with showing this side of him to her, from watching her go through trials and tribulations in the Winter World with the other Helios- of course he wouldn’t want any danger to be near MC, but knowing that she can handle anything after all that she went through, he now knows that it’s better for her to be with him instead. Also he learnt how to smile from her and now he’s smiling again as Helios and I’m just so happy

Whether in the face of violent, nefarious enemies or a wave of blood and bullets, he’d never shown any fear. I got the feeling that he was somehow nervous, or even afraid. Was it because he had to return into the spotlight, back the shower of roses and applause?

Well… when he decided to give all that up and step into the darkness with no turning back, what was he thinking then?

He leaned on the wall and rested awhile, staring intently at the black tattoo on his right arm… he looked at himself in the mirror. His silver strands of hair were tingled with gold, as if bathed in sunlight. And for only that one time, he didn’t avert his gaze from the desire in his eyes. It was like looking at a self portrait—so distant, yet so familiar. It was only now that he realised: this was the moment in his life most worth reliving. Once again, he had become Kiro.

In the PV/Karma (photo down below), we see him wearing black- not as Helios but as Kiro! Again, ironic how he’s holding a comeback concert he’s wearing black, a colour that represents darkness and shadows. It had been noted in the Snooper Rumours and Secrets that this is way out of Kiro’s style wardrobe. However, this signifies a range of things. The two personas are “merging” as he no longer hides this persona to MC- they’re one in the same. It has always been this way and will never change. The colour black also means power and authority, but can mean fear and grief. This is the same outfit when Kiro was doubting himself in the Light Pursuit Date as well.

Right now, if we’re talking moon phases, Kiro right now is in “the void”. Meaning he’s “nowhere”. He’s Kiro but he’s also operating as Helios. He feels nervous to go back but it does come so natural for him to be in the spotlight. He feels stuck at crossroads with himself, especially when he got forced back to perform by Anole.

Ultimately, it’s like he’s saying “no matter what becomes of me, I will always stay true to you.” And I think this is perfectly translated as Kiro says,

“Miss Chips, wait for me.”

(”Wait for me as I fight for us both. So you don’t have to suffer.”) But we suffer either way.

His light and sun has always come from MC. He will always keep running towards his sun, no matter which persona he embodies. This, we can be certain on. (New Season 2 Chapters please don’t oppose this LOL.)

“I await you at the end of the opposite path.”

#26 pages long #I actually love his voice so much #mlqc #mlqc kiro #mlqc helios #helios #mr love queens choice #love and producer #mlqc cn #mlqc en #恋与制作人 #mlqc analysis #mlqc translation #mlqc zhou qiluo #zhou qilou #kiro #mlqc spoilers

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rococospade · 3 years

Text

Regarding my characterisation of Laurence, the First Vicar

Okay so anyone who’s had to talk with me for more than five minutes knows I have *a lot of feelings* on the First Vicar and while I’m going to try and keep this to stuff I can support via lore, that will almost certainly bleed over in here and I apologise in advance. I’ll try to stick to things I can support from canon.

Other notes: I will be referencing deleted content for this, and it is a long post because I have a lot of thoughts. So post under the cut, beware of spoilers, so on.

(As an aside, if you read my fics, dear god does this post have spoilers for those too, since a lot of my fic world building is me trying to piece lore together!)

@fishbowlcarnage thanks for getting me to write this. It’s incomplete and unfinished, and I’ll definitely want to add to it as I play through DS3 and the Fishing Hamlet in BB, but I hope it’s enjoyable as it is. Also thanks to Marie for gently pushing back on my assertions so I have to find a basis for them, and to every lovely person who’s chatted with me about lore and this strange and beloved game.

General notes:

Most of this is predicated on a handful of things:

Laurence was probably a Choir member. He stole the Choir from Byrgenwerth, and it’s noted that the church uniforms are based on Byrgenwerth’s. And if you look at it, what does it most closely resemble? Willem’s clothes. So either Willem had disciples’ outfits designed to look like less fancy versions of his, or else Laurence chose an outfit that visually conveyed “I’m taking your job” for himself and his own minions.

Laurence was not from Yharnum: it comes up in deleted lines that the person who founded the Healing Church was a foreigner. While that line was cut, we do still hear the huntsmen blaming foreigners for their plight, and while I will admit that nationalism and xenophobia are a big part of Bloodborne it would make an… interesting sort of sense if the Healing Church was actually headed by one. Also, Laurence and Willem have different accents to the rest of Yharnum, at least to my ear. I’m also a filthy American, so feedback on this point is very welcome.

Laurence was probably a combatant: this is probably my hardest argument to make because it relies on the most abstract points. Laurence is found with the Gentle Beast’s Embrace rune. That’s a combat rune. Even if he’s trying to heal the scourge, if we operate on the presumption that he did want to help people, and he found a rune that seemed to safely turn him into a stronger bestial form, don’t you think he’d take up arms if he hadn’t already? Aside from that, the clerics use a lot of blood. Now, @msoftserved has pointed out to me that that was probably a religious thing as much as a functional one, but I’m still fascinated at the idea that the clerics could somehow take enough blood to over a long enough period to become giant beasts without also being hunters (since hunters are noted for their extreme willpower, and being able to do things like force themselves to stay awake under the effects of blue elixir). I also suspect the clerics fought, since it’s noted that the Hunters of the Healing Church made the Hunter’s Workshop redundant, and the hunters we see from the Church are dressed like… clergy. I may add to this section later, as my brain is currently refusing to articulate my thoughts in any sort of useful manner.

Actually! Coming back to this, with something a little less tenuous: the Vicar’s Pendant has a blood gem inside for hunting beasts. Why would they have that if they weren’t actively hunting beasts themselves? It’s not on display, you have to break the amulet to get at it. So… if it were purely decorative, you’d expect it to be visible. And if it weren’t, one would expect them to have something support based. But no, it’s an attack up specific to beasts. Which to me implies two things: the amulet could be used for offensive casting/spells, and the owner of the amulet was expected (at least some of the time) to fight.

In addition to this, Gehrman also refers to the Clerics of the Healing Church as “the guardians” of Hunters, and cries out for Laurence to help him in his sleep. Even if Laurence was not a combatant, I found that to be a really interesting detail; it speaks to Gehrman’s belief in Laurence’s competence. Especially once you finish the game. He’s not crying out for a god to save him. He’s crying out for Laurence, and Willem.

About Laurence’s personality:

I think it’s fair to argue he was probably charismatic. He managed to repeatedly amass a following; first at Byrgenwerth, where he stole Willem’s best students from under his nose (including Micolash, someone who seems to fundamentally disagree with Laurence on how to ascend humanity? Which is pretty wild in and of itself) but also convinced several major characters to help him, including Gehrman (who seems to have had heroic intentions, though he’s of course Not Okay because this is a Soulsborne game) and freakin’ Ludwig (first Church Hunter! First man to organise the hunts instead of having everyone do whatever with 0 coordination! And canonically stated to be from a long line of knights, which implies Ludwig was probably a noble or at least a member of the gentry, but signed on to work with this foreigner.

Laurence was likely either ostentatious, or found the appearance of being so valuable: dude has a weird skull elevator and I’ve never been able to forget it. I thought it was weird when I found it but wrote it off as typical Bloodborne… until I read “fool me”, which pointed out that the elevator was probably, in fact, something Laurence either designed or commissioned. It was definitely way more expensive than just installing a ladder or stairs… But organisations thrive on symbols. And the Healing Church is rife with symbolic imagery, from the architecture to the decorations to the uniforms. There’s really no functional reason to have the members dress like they do, which means it was likely a case of needing to present a certain image or be immediately recognisable to the public. (On a loosely related note, the Church Giants wearing items from the Black Church Set is… kind of cute in a weird way. Who made the clothes? Who dressed them up? These questions haunt me.)

Laurence may have been capable of miracles or pyromancy: this one is a big stretch, but I’m going to bring it up anyway. Laurence’s attacks in his Cleric Beast form (specifically the ones that leave lava in their wake) resemble a pyromancy from the Dark Souls series. We also see patients from the Research Hall that cast miracles in the Hunter’s Nightmare. Seems like a jump to attribute miracles to Laurence from there, right? Well… the Vicar’s Pendant that Amelia uses to heal herself is noted to have been passed down amongst the Vicars of the Healing Church. Presuming she’s using the ‘heal’ miracle, then the pendant is apparently her talisman. She had to have learned the technique somewhere, and talismans in the Souls series aren’t unique to one caster — anyone with sufficient faith can utilise a talisman to cast miracles. So it stands to reason that if Laurence had the necessary faith, he could have wielded the amulet in the same way.

Misc notes:

Willem was doing some horrifying stuff at Byrgenwerth. I’m kind of surprised more people don’t seem to address that? Byrgenwerth is the only area with the garden of eyes enemy in the main game. Those things are wearing patient gowns. “What we need… is more eyes” seems rather chilling in the light of that particular enemy, and its official name.

In addition to that, at least two of his prized students turned out to be… you know… insanely charismatic cult leaders. I’m talking about Micolash and Laurence, of course. What are the chances he collected two dangerous twinks that would betray him entirely on accident? Oh, but two’s a coincidence, right? Except… Gehrman. You know, the First Hunter. He was apparently rather attached to Willem too, since he calls him ‘Master’… so that’s… three students of Willem’s that decided, actually, let’s do this extremely morally dubious thing in pursuit of knowledge/power/good of mankind? Oh! And Gehrman amassed a following too, actually. The original Hunter’s Workshop. That’s… That’s definitely a pattern by now.

The Gentle Beast’s Embrace rune grants reduced fall damage. I ran with the idea from there that cleric beasts (probably beasts in general) have an instinct common to both canines and felines — get the high ground. Now. This is also supported (as much as anything is supported) by where you find Cleric Beasts — the first one is sitting atop a roof over the great bridge, essentially the highest suitable platform in central Yharnum, while Laurence the first Vicar is sprawled dramatically in the arms of a statue over his altar in the Hunter’s Nightmare. So I tend to depict him perching in high places when left on his own, especially once he’s begun falling to beasthood.

#bloodborne lore #bloodborne lore discussion #laurence the first vicar #long post #note to self #character discussion #character headcanons

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twh-news · 3 years

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How Loki's big finale reveal failed Marvel fans | Digital Spy

Loki finale spoilers follow.

Marvel used to have a major villain problem. Throughout Phases One and Two, Earth's Mightiest Heroes fought cookie-cutter bad guys who just wanted to get rich or take over the world. Loki and Bucky were the only exceptions to this because of their personal connections to Thor and Cap.

Phase Three began to build on this idea with fan favourites like Ragnarok's Hela and Black Panther’s Erik Killmonger. Both of them committed terrible acts, sure, but their plights were also understandable to some degree, and even relatable.

With the advent of Marvel TV on Disney+, Phase Four has developed this approach even further by putting anti-heroes front and centre in each of their own shows. Even Wanda, a full-fledged Avenger, is forced to reckon with her own morality in light of what she did to Westview. And that's been integral to the success of these shows, which each unpack what it means to be a hero in ways that no other Marvel project has ever attempted on screen.

But by centring the so-called "antagonists" like this, a different kind of villain problem has risen, like a seemingly dead baddie who thrusts one hand up from the grave just as the credits start to roll.

Since Loki's very first episode, there's been endless speculation on who the Big Bad might be. The mysterious Loki variant who showed up to kill TVA soldiers was perhaps the most likely candidate at first, but things took a surprising twist with that Lady Loki reveal (although given that betrayal at the end, Sylvie certainly did make a good case for her being the show's true Big Bad).

And then of course, other villainous candidates soon raised their heads. Everyone from Ravonna and the Time Keeepers to Alioth and President Loki all played a "bad" role to some degree. Loki's willingness to tackle the greyer areas of morality has been a strength of this show. But throughout the first five episodes, there was always this idea that someone else, someone "bigger" was waiting in the wings, controlling the TVA from a distance.

The penultimate episode leaned heavily into this idea with a final shot that practically begged fans to speculate about who could be hiding away in that castle beyond time. And then the finale arrived with the big reveal of He Who Remains, "a ruler" and "a conqueror" who also refers to himself as a "jerk" of sorts.

If you're not a fan of weighty exposition, you might consider him to be a jerk as well. Jonathan Majors does everything he can to sell these scenes, but when you break it all down, the vast majority of this final episode was dedicated to explaining an entirely new character whose arrival made little or no sense to casual fans watching back home.

On the flip side of that, He Who Remains was always the number one suspect for comic book readers who know their history. Kang, as this character is called in the source material, has been hinted at throughout the series, and Marvel even announced Jonathan's casting in the role months before Loki even started.

For some, Kang was the obvious choice for this reveal, which makes it a bit less exciting because it's so predictable. And then for others, it was the complete opposite problem. If you don't read the source material, then Kang's arrival came completely out of nowhere because his character wasn't even mentioned prior to the finale. Without comic book knowledge of Kang's identity, this just doesn't work as a satisfying end.

And even if you do know exactly who Majors is playing, what is there to actually gain from a random character showing up like this last minute? Loki has no emotional attachment to Kang beyond his manipulation of the TVA, and as a result of this, there's no closure. Thematically, another Loki variant would have made for a far more satisfying villain, one who forces "our" Loki to confront himself and his notions of what it means to be good.

Logistically, Kang's debut here isn't ideal either given that it required hefty amounts of exposition which slowed the finale to a crawl. While it was refreshing to see Loki avoid the usual CGI spectacle that often plagues the end of these stories, Marvel's incessant need to focus on set-up dragged things down in a different way here, forcing Kang in at the expense of the story that's currently being told.

It's thrilling to think about how this new multiverse will impact the MCU moving forward. The possibilities are literally endless, and we tried our best to outline some of the biggest ramifications to this big reveal right here. But what about the here and now? What about Loki's arc in this season and what about the viewers who couldn't care less about the wider MCU?

The ways in which this franchise connects everything together (much like the comics it's based on) is easily one of Marvel's biggest strengths, to the point where rival studios have desperately tried to replicate this format. But when vital plot points are introduced purely as a nod and a wink to fans who constantly look forward to what lies ahead, then this connectivity also becomes one of the studio's biggest weaknesses.

For decades, comic book giants like Marvel and DC have rebooted themselves and wiped the slate clean over and over again because they eventually become too inaccessible, weighed down by the sheer volume of backstory that newbies are forced to wade through. Marvel Studios has managed to circumvent this problem for the most part due to its widespread popularity, but sooner or later, people who don't have time to watch every single movie and show will start to resent stories like this that don't end to at least some degree.

Clearly, what was once a villain problem has become symptomatic of a much larger issue. But the essence is still the same. Characterisation is still being overlooked just to move the story along in whatever way Marvel sees fit.

And if this fixation on setting up the next project continues to take precedence over character and story, then shows like Loki run the risk of existing solely to continue one ongoing saga, like a snake eating itself in an endless loop.

Of course, fan expectation does play a role in this too, but when Kang said "We're all villains here," it's hard not to think that he might be referring to something far bigger and even more powerful than himself.

#loki #loki series #loki spoilers #spoilers #loki series spoilers #article #digital spy #marvel #MCU

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ouyangzizhensdad · 4 years

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MDZS Wangxian Fic recs (based on the novel canon and characterisation)

If you are in the mood for fics following the novel canon and characterisation, you might find it overwhelmingly difficult to find some considering how many fics labelled “mdzs” are actually based on or takes elements from the CQL!canon/characterisation.

Here are some of my favourites:

a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 180k).

When the entire cultivation world turns against Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng comes up with a plan to save him and arranges a marriage between his brother and the Second Jade of Lan, Lan WangJi.

Might be my absolute favourite in the fandom. A canon-divergent, case-fic that gets the characters absolutely right, and weaves an intricate plot following mdzs’ themes and plot beats. tbh I’d recommend all of rikke’s fics in the fandom.

Murder at the Masquerade by krazieLeylines (M, 60k).

“You better behave tonight,” Jiang Cheng spoke up, poking a hole into Wei Wuxian’s thoughts. “Just because we’ll be in disguise does not mean your actions won’t have consequences. If I hear of any mischief, I will know exactly who to blame.” Wei Wuxian laughed again. “Well, that’s not fair,” he replied, “Is that not the whole purpose of a masquerade? To let ourselves be unrestrained, just for one night, with no strings attached?” (In which the Jin family hosts a masquerade.)

Another of my favourites. Although it is a Victorian!AU case fic with western fantasy elements, this fic manages to stay fateful to the spirit of the novel. Very engaging. This fic is the first in a series set in the same universe: Detective Wei Wuxian Series.

The Guests of Cloud Recesses by cafecliche (M, 10k).

“We’re in this together, you know,” Wei Wuxian says. “You’re dead. I used to be dead.We're both tolerated and incredibly unwelcome here. We both annoy the same people, as far as I can tell. I’ve built relationships on less. Let’s work this out.” But again, there’s no response. (Or: there's a ghost in the Cloud Recesses.)

Another of my favourites. Post-canon fic. It explores wwx’s “trauma” in a way that is consistent with his characterisation in the novel. Wangxian is also absolutely soft.

for you, a smile from heaven by jiazhen (T, 5k).

“You’re not fair at all,” he whines. “You don’t say a single word, and I’m already like this.Do you know what you’re doing to me? My heart is beating so fast right now. Lan Zhan, you’re making me sick. You’re making me lovesick.” (or: The day is strange. Wei Wuxian wakes to see his husband still in bed.)

Post-canon fic. Extremely soft, will make you feel too many emotions. The author shows a great grasp of the characters.

A Justice for All (series) by firesonic52 (two completed fics within the series)

Ace-Attorney!AU

Completely delightful, even if the premise might appear a little wacky. Pre-relationship so far. If you love the murder mystery aspects of mdzs, you have to give this series a read.

Concerning Rabbits by pomme (G, 28k)

Years of silence have created gaps of conversation that are wider than Wangji has ever known, and isn’t sure how to fill. But while he’s quiet, the rabbits are even quieter, and he’s found it helps to talk to them.

“We have a—” and Wangji doesn’t know how to finish. “We have a guest,” he decides. “You do not know him, but your grandparents did.”

The black rabbit wrinkles its nose.

Wangji reaches out to stroke its back. “I also do not like strangers. But you will like him.”

In which Lan Wangji navigates life, family, grief, friendship, and love through the years—with rabbits.

A contemplative character study. One of my favorite take on the many iterations of lwj’s pov of the events of the novel.

kiss me back to sleep by museofwriting (M, 3k)

Lan WangJi gets to wake up to Wei WuXian asleep beside him for the rest of his life

Post-canon fic, full of soft wangxian.

To Capture a ghost by (M, 10k)

“Oh, Hanguang Jun is back from seclusion, after thirteen years?” Wei Wuxian perks up with practiced casualness. “Going to chase after me again ehe…”

He must be even more bored than Wei Sizhui thought to look forward to play hide-and-seek with a ferocious martial god he’s been religiously avoiding for decades. “Not that I know of. I believe he’s planning to descent to hunt down the bridegroom ghost.”

“What!” Wei Wuxian bristles at that, looking mortally offended. “Lan Zhan would rather capture some low class Menace over me, the Awful Terrible Not Good At All Yiling Patriarch? That’s unacceptable.”

Or: the Yiling Patriarch Crimson Light Dancing On Graves and His Highness the Crown Prince of Gusu Hanguang Jun, from the eyes of others. A Wangxian in TGCF AU.

TGCG!AU. Any fics dealing with wwx’s ridiculous and petty attempts to catch and keep lwj’s attention (as if he already didn’t have it) has a special place in my heart.

asymptotic by chinxe (M, 26k)

The members of the Lan Clan have never been particularly well-known for their good judgement when it comes to matters of the heart.

Which is why it should come as a surprise to no one when Lan Wangji falls in love with an actual ghost.

Canon-divergent!AU. I feel like everyone has read this one already, but it doesn’t hurt to make sure everyone gives it a read!

WIPs WORTH READING

An arrow through time by syrus_jones (M, 8/?)

Lan Wangji stared at the bump beneath the covers of his bed. Stared at the intruding hand that led to the arm that led beneath said bump of covers. His mind was empty, as if refusing to process this image meant that it simply would not exist.

It had been a good plan, as far as Lan Wangji had been concerned, at least until he remembered that lying was prohibited in the Cloud Recesses. Surely denouncing the existence of something fell beneath that category on account of lying to oneself?

****

In which Lan Wangji passes out after leaving the QishanWen archery competition only to wake up an indeterminate time in the future with a beautiful, infuriating, very naked stranger in his bed. It goes about as well as expected.

Time-travel/Dimension-travel!fic. This fic yanks you in so many different directions. The author updates regularly, so you won’t have to wait for two months between chapters. This fic really understands the crafty, strategic side of wwx, and how lwj is also very good at deductive thinking.

Flowers of Blood and Bones by Sakurafubuki (15/?)

Wei Wuxian is a Hunter, like his mother was before him. He's been trained since he was a child to answer the call of the Hunt, he's survived until he's become the most proficient slayer of his generation, and even if he's been forced to learn how to fight the hard way, even if his siblings and himself are the only remaining Hunters in town, he's always known where he stands, and what to do, and who the enemy is.

Part of him is very aware that a Hunt can go wrong, but he would have never expected to have his life spared by a vampire when it happens - not out or mercy or of concern, but because of sheer indifference.

And it's not like he's looking for this, or that he has any desire to collaborate with one of the creatures he's been raised to kill, but something is happening in that small world of theirs, and when circumstances call for it Wei Wuxian will have to swallow his pride and be practical - and maybe realize along the way that there's a lot he doesn't know about vampires after all.

Vampire and Hunter!AU in a modern setting. I have literally harassed my friend who hasn’t read mdzs about this fic because it got me too hyped up. It is just that interesting and compelling--I find myself thinking about it out of nowhere or thinking about the choices the author made with their version of vampires and hutners. I love the take on lwj and the Lan’s infamous obsession with regulation. The author doesn’t update often, but the chapters are long and--just read it.

Thief of Souls by gotcocomilk (M, 5/?)

In the depths of the Stygian Tiger Seal slept a soul.

It was a relentless thing, bright and brilliant as the dawn. It was a fragile thing too, broken by tragedy too terrible to name. Through the resentful energy and in the cracks of cold iron it clung on, prisoner and patriarch. Beneath a bloody patina, it had no dreams but nightmares, and no thoughts but memories.

And now, in the cruel fingers of Xue Yang, it would awaken.

Gotcocomilk has written a lot of delightful pieces for the fandom, and I’m very curious where she’ll take this one.

The signal we send by flowercities (M, 1/?)

As head of security at Gusu Lan Industries, Lan Wangji is one of the rare androids to have risen this far up the ranks of the company he was created to work for. The last thing he needs is a wanted hacker ruining it all for him by bringing long-buried emotions to the surface.

A Cyberpunk!AU with an Android!lwj and hacker!wwx. The premise of the fic has been set perfectly with the first chapter. Unfortunately the fic has not updated since January.

Who Will Wed Wei Wuxian? by fancypineapple (M, 4/?)

The most famous, most powerful, most reviled black wizard alive, Wei Wuxian, is looking for a wife. Not just any ordinary wife - a black witch, one as formidably strong and wicked as himself, so their combined bloodlines bring about a heir to the throne of dark magic.

When he and his men put together a competition to find the witch of his dreams, what could be the meaning of renowed peacemaker and whiter-than-white wizard Lan Wangji being among the participants? A mistake? An assassination plot? How does he plan to compete in a Black Arts contest, righteous as he is? How do the other competitors feel about having a white wizard around?

And who the Hell wears a necklace made of human eyes?!

Modern AU! with magic. Absolutely delightful and entertaining, although the fic has not updated since February.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs fic rec #mdzs fic recs #魔道祖师 #just trust me i have great taste :P #16 fic recs in total

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spell-cleaver · 2 years

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Meta asks! 1, 3, 8, 14, 20, 25?

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Ohhh boy. Current project is in the pre-writing research stage where I'm still planning it out and doing some research. I'll be writing a few unrelated oneshots while I finish research, but. Next longfic is one based on a prompt I received here nearly two years ago (anon if you see this I'm sorryyyyy) about Senator Luke Naberrie arrived at the court of Empress Padmé Amidala. It... snowballed. Now it's basically Luke trying to be a good, honest senator while every one of his relatives is extremely cutthroat and fighting over his allegiance. Padmé is evil/pro-Empire. Some other good people are evil. Vader is as much of a mess as usual. Leia is even more intense, more devoted to democracy, and scarier than usual. Padmé and Sabé have a breakup scene. I'm so excited to throw Luke into a court full of vipers politicians he is related to. I'm currently rereading Queen's Shadow and about to read Queen's Peril while I nail down how to characterise an Empress Padmé, but I have the character arcs, central themes down. And I have the first five chapters planned out, with five acts planned, so it'll hopefully be about 25 chapters. If all goes well. *crosses fingers and grimaces*

!!! I'm very excited about this project, if you can't tell :D WIP title is The Protégé.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

I answered this here, but bonus other scene from another WIP:

Fantasy AU where Luke is a prince and has been "assassinated" (everyone thinks he's dead and they're about to go to war over it). Vader, who has been a pretty shitty dad since Padmé died but is feeling all his sins catch up to him, breaks down apologising in front of Luke's grave (I have all the dialogue planned out for this and Will Not Spoil it) and Luke comes in at the right moment for an emotional reunion.

I don't want to say anymore because this has been keeping me going for 4 years and I swear, I will write this, I will. I need to completely revise the plot since someone about it just dried up all inspiration, but i know how to figure out what's causing that and it will happen. There's always another fantasy AU coming for SpellCleaver's AO3 page XD

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

By and large, yes! I'm actually a lot angstier in what I write recently than what I read, it has to be a specific type of angst to hold my interest. I think I accidentally vaccinated myself against angst. But generally what I read is more varied than what I write, and I crawled out of a years-long reading slump last summer so I'm expanding my reading tastes even further the more original fiction I read.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

Usually as soon as I get the idea. Every story needs a heading to go into my ideas folder, so I think of one that fits a little bit and slap it on. Later on they sometimes get replaced (The Seafarer -> No Heroes on the High Seas) or refined (The Free, Ordered Record and Codex of Everywhere (FORCE) -> The Codex of Everywhere). But I have a pretty good instinct for titles, so usually they get assigned early on to fit the plot and themes I want to develop, often with a double or triple meaning (The Heir). Or they get named something, I get attached, and I have to spin the motifs and themes to match the title (Eclipse, Sparks).

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I rambled about something before here, but I'm gonna take the chance to ramble about something else:

Communication. It's a core theme in a lot of my fics, without me ever really intending it??? It's not something I'm particularly fascinated by (okay, maybe a little bit - but you take my point.) I always think I'm writing about something else and then it loops back to communication. Sparks is about secret-keeping and a coming of age story, yes, but it's also about trusting your loved ones and telling them about your fears/reasons for doing things to prevent misunderstandings that lead to people getting hurt (...in an extreme way.) Reality and Other Constructs is on the surface about how we all only ever see one point of view of the world, but the entire solution (and strength of the Jedi) is that they talk to people, connect with other people, compare beliefs and points of view, to discover the truth and broaden their horizons. It's about how communication leads to a better world (and understanding of the world). Same with Eclipse, where Luke and Leia's main strength is their honesty and trust in each other, and they mainly lose when they don't know all the facts or someone is keeping secrets. And a bunch more of my fics fall into this! I think it's necessitated by the characters I'm writing about - Vader? Communicating healthily first try? Nah - but it is a fun thing to examine. So this isn't really information about specific symbolism or development I put into a fic, mainly bc I have too many to choose from (if anyone wants a ramble about a specific fic, shoot me an ask and I'll go off) but just... an observation I've had across fics. I don't know why it keeps happening, but it fascinates me.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

I love most of it, but especially the first draft. Typing at 50 words per minutes, poetic bullshit spilling onto the page, jumping from rung to rung on a plan ladder I built previously. It's the most exciting part!

That said, I love love love planning, even if it's harder (logistics and all that) it's got all the feeling of potential. And I do like editing... I just like editing other people's stuff more than my own :D

Thank you so much for the ask!!! Sorry I went off a bit XD I think this is the longest ask-reply I've ever written (that isn't prose) but I got very excited.

Send me some fun meta asks for writers!

#skitter kitteruwu #ask spell something #spell narrates her writing adventures #spell speaks #ask games #ask game #fun meta asks for writers

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thequibblah · 3 years

Note

directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

#this has no right to be this long #wtrf #clareee75 #ask me #director's cuts

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