#you rejected MY application when I dared hold out hope

[madamtrashbat]

Not to be a total bitch and not to insult my friends who are involved but like whatever hope I had for this zine is totally shot because dude.

You're totally onboard with the person whose first act in fandom was to go around to everyone they deemed unworthy and harass them and I'm supposed to support this project?

Bye.

[mosswillow]

Jumping In (Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader)

Warnings: 18+ adult content!!, Kidnapping, smut, Dark fic, vaginal fingering, noncon/dubcon, yandere.

Summary: You submit your application to the Avengers as a joke. You’re nowhere near qualified enough for the job. So why do they want you?

AN: A big thanks to @rayofdawnworld for commenting on “Your Room” that they wanted to know about the other Avengers. This one is (obviously) Steve and is happening chronologically before “Your Room.” You can read it by itself though!  I also have a story forming for Bucky in my mind so I’ll probably do him next. 

You’ve always been the type of person to jump into things without thinking. It’s gotten you into plenty of trouble throughout your life but you’ve always managed to get yourself out of it. It’s opened up opportunities for you and taken you all over the world. You put in the application for SHIELD almost as a joke, thinking there’s no way they would ever hire you, especially not to work with the Avengers.

The joke becomes serious when you get a call from Stark Tower offering you a job. You skim over the contract eagerly and sign it immediately, jumping on the opportunity to work your dream job.

After a whirlwind week you find yourself standing in the middle of a high tech training room surrounded by Avengers. Being around a group of people as powerful as the Avengers is intimidating to say the least. The contrast between you and them is stark and you feel your confidence slip trying to keep up with them. They all assure you that you’re doing great and they’re glad to have you with them. It feels like a little family and you get pulled in immediately. You find yourself gravitating to Steve, or maybe he gravitates towards you. He shows up everywhere you go, at the water fountain filling up his bottle, running at the treadmill next to you, stretching on the mat. He watches you spar with different Avengers, giving advice and words of encouragement.

“Keep that arm up Y/N.”

“I will, thank you captain.”

“Call me Steve.”

“Steve.”  You smile.

You spar with Bucky and try to ignore Steve's looks. You don’t know if you feel flattered or uncomfortable with the attention he’s giving you. You decide that he’s probably just trying to be friendly since it’s your first day.

It doesn’t stop though and you constantly find yourself in situations with Steve. He’s in the elevator with you or walking by your room as you’re leaving. You even bump into him at the grocery store.

A week later you open your door to see Steve waiting for you just outside your room. Your heart does a flip at the sight of him standing in front of you. His hair is damp and you try to control your mind from imagining him in the shower. His tight white shirt shows off his muscles, which doesn't help your wandering mind one bit. You shift your eyes away from him and chastise yourself. God, He smells good and you wonder what soap he uses. He gives a cocky half smile and takes a step toward you.

“Good job yesterday.” He says, moving in front of your line of sight.

“Thanks.” you smile and force yourself to look him in the eyes.

He puts his hands in his pockets and rocks on his feet looking nervous.

“I thought I could treat you to coffee?”

Your heart starts beating rapidly. Is he asking you on a date? Steve Rogers asking YOU on a date? It can't be that. The flirting has to be in your head.

“I’d like that,” You mirror him, putting your hands in your pockets. You realize too late that you don’t have pockets though and end up awkwardly rubbing your hands against your sides.  Steve lets out a chuckle and you cross your arms and laugh along with him.

You follow Steve to a nearby coffee shop and he orders you a drink. The two of you sit at a semi-private table in the back next to some barely cognizant university students who are furiously typing away on their laptops.

“How are you enjoying being part of the team?” Steve asks.

“I love it! Everyone is really nice.”

“Are you nervous for your first first mission?”

“A little bit,” you confess.

“I’ll be there with you, don’t worry.”

That was definitely flirting, you think. Captain America is flirting with you.

You smile and take a sip of your coffee. This is like a romance novel, a cute coffee date with a literal super hero. It comes to an end though when you notice a kid taking a picture of the two of you. Steve frowns and cocks his head towards the prepubescent photographer.

“I think we should head back before we get more fans.” Steve Says.

Steve does a silly pose for the kid as he passes by and pulls out a signed Captain America card. The kid stands stunned looking at you as you walk out of the shop. Steve puts his hand on your back and leans in.

“Sorry this was so short. We’ll have to go somewhere more private next time.”

“Don’t apologize! The coffee was amazing, thank you so much.”

It only takes twenty minutes for you to start getting phone calls. A picture of you and Steve is all over the internet. It looks very incriminating, Steve's arm on your back and him smiling close to your ear. You answer your phone and hold it away from your ear as your friend Amy yells at you from the other end.

“Captain America!” She screams over and over again.

“Are you guys dating now or...”

“No, he was just being nice.”

“The picture looks like he’s being a lot more than nice. Please hit that Y/N, if you don’t I’ll scream.”

“You’re already screaming.” you say with a laugh.

“Seriously though, I want to be invited to your wedding one day.”

“Amy! he’s hot for sure but he’s also kinda my boss and I’m not ready for anything serious right now.” The picture of you and Steve is still in your mind. You can barely take care of yourself and certainly aren’t ready for everything involved with dating Steve Rogers.

You hang up the phone and smile to yourself. You can’t believe how your life has changed so fast. One day you’re working security at a hotel and the next you’re working with the avengers and flirting with Captain America.

---

You shake your foot nervously on the way to your first mission. Your role is simple, in fact it's almost impossible to mess up. You’re nervous anyway though. Everyone tells you it’s normal for your first mission and you take deep breaths trying to calm down.

You exit the jet and make your way into town. Your only job is to distract your mark for five minutes. You check your watch and start your way toward your mark.

“Excuse me sir?”

“Yes?”

“Do you know a good breakfast place around here?”

It’s beyond easy. You keep the conversation up for five minutes and end it quickly. Steve gives you a pat on the back after, congratulating your successful first mission. It feels off. Anyone could do what you did. You’re nowhere near as skilled as the Avengers and don’t understand why you would be picked for the job.

“What’s wrong doll?”

“I just don’t feel like I’m really good enough to be part of this team I guess.”

“You’re more than good enough.”

“But you guys are so much stronger... and faster... and smarter.”

“We look for more than those things when picking recruits. Trust me, you’re exactly what I… We need.”

You feel a little better and push away your doubts.

---

The missions become harder after the first one but you’re still never put in direct danger. They say you need more training before taking on more dangerous roles and you agree. You’re not sure if you’ll ever improve enough though and it makes you guilty, like you’re taking up space in a team that someone else could have. As you start becoming more part of the group Steve starts coming onto you more. He takes you out several times and starts becoming more physically affectionate. You like Steve. Aside from being gorgeous he’s old school, bringing you flowers and opening doors. There’s Something about him that feels disingenuous and your gut prevents you from starting a serious relationship.

You meet a barista at the same coffee shop Steve took you to. He’s cute and you  decide to give him your number impulsively. He texts you that evening and you stay up late texting back and forth. The next day everyone stares at you as you stretch before your training. You’re not sure why until you notice Steve standing outside of his office.

“Y/N, can I see you in here please.” His voice is an octave lower than usual and a chill runs down your spine.

“Of course.”

Steve closes the door and motions for you to sit down.

“I’m aware that you’ve exchanged numbers with someone who is unapproved.”

You nod slowly, confused how he knows at all and why it’s a big deal.

“This is a huge security risk.”

“I already ran a background check on him.”

Steve sits on the edge on his desk and caresses your cheek.

“Why do you want to talk to this boy when you have me?”

You push his hand away.

“I mean, I like you Steve but I’m just not ready for the commitment yet, you know that.”

His eyes narrow and he looks at the hand you pushed away.

“I understand.” He says.

You stand to leave and he calls after you.

“Oh, and remember you have a curfew. I don’t want to have to reprimand you.”

Steve feels different, unhinged. You’ve only been late a few times and only by a few minutes. You push away your worry hoping it will get better. He’s probably just not used to feeling rejected. He’ll get over it.

---

“Y/N, don’t you dare enter that building.”

“There are still people inside Steve!”

“It’s too dangerous. Help is on the way, don’t do it.”

You rip the com out of your ear and run into the building. There’s smoke everywhere and you cover your face with your arm. You make fast work of reaching the blocked room, breaking the door in and letting the room of people out. You escort them out of the building and to safety.

“Thank you so much.” A woman says, hugging you.

“No problem.” You smile.

The building starts collapsing in front of your eyes and you watch it burn. You walk back to the jet, coughing and bruised and get checked out as soon as you land.

Steve waits for you outside of medical.

“What were you thinking Agent!”

“Not now Steve.”

“It’s Captain and yes now.”

You sigh.

“I was thinking, Captain, that I needed to get those people out and I was right.”

“And what would have happened if the building had come down on you? Help was coming and you had an order. You’re lucky your lungs are ok with the smoke you inhaled.”

You push Steve out of your way and walk towards your room.

“It was a risk I was willing to take,” you call back.

You reach your room and take a long shower, thinking about everything. As much as you want to fit in with them you just don’t. Something tells you that you need to quit. You need to get out of here and never look back. you decide that you’ll hand in a two week notice tomorrow.

The next morning you wake and dress quickly still feeling the same as the night before. You head to your door and turn the knob but find it locked.

“What the fuck?” you pound on the door but nobody answers. You pick up your phone to call for help. It won’t connect to the internet or call anyone. Your computer is the same way. As the day passes you start feeling more and more uneasy. They have to know by now that something is wrong with you. your voice is raw from yelling for help and your hands bloody and bruised from pounding on the door.

Finally, hours later you hear the click of your door unlocking. You open it to see Steve standing with his arms crossed on the other side.

“I was locked in my room.” you say in a quiet voice.

“I know, I locked you in.”

“What’s wrong with you? That’s insane Steve!”

Adrenaline rushes through your body and you start pacing. Everything is telling you to get out. This is not what you signed up for.

“I quit.” you say defiantly.

Steve rushes toward you, pinning you to the wall. None of your self defence training helps you. He’s so much bigger and stronger, trying to fight is a joke. You know your best bet is to stun him somehow and run but you can barely move.

“You can’t quit doll.” He brushes a hand down your body, giving your butt a squeeze. Your eyes widen in shock.

“I’ll report you.”

“To who?”

You start thinking, your eyes darting back and forth. He slides his hand into the front of your pants and rubs the bulge in his pants against you. your breath hitches and you relax your body a bit. You scream at yourself to do something. The hand in your pants rubs against your clit expertly and it takes everything you have not to let out a moan.

“Ah, I see you’re getting it.”

His finger slides to your entrance and he prods you before submerging his finger. You gasp at the intrusion and realize that he’s barely holding onto you anymore. Your hands grasp his shoulders and you lean against him.

“This would have been much easier if you had followed my plan. You had to go putting yourself in danger.” He chides.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please you’re scaring me Steve.” you say,

“It was going so well but you’re unpredictable, flirting with that barista.”

He pushes his finger in deeper and you whimper.

“If I don’t take action now I might lose you and I can’t lose you.”

“Get away from me,” you beg.

He grasps your hip painful tight.

“You're my girl now, ok? My girl doesn’t disobey me, especially not on missions.”

He pumps his finger, coating it with slick.

You realize that he won’t listen to reason but you try anyway.

“I’m so sorry you’re right I’m your… your girl, just let me go please.”

He pulls his finger out and gives you a kiss.

“See, there’s a good girl.”

He pulls a ring out of his pocket and places it on your finger. His watch vibrates and he looks at it before kissing you on the cheek.

“We can celebrate tomorrow.” He winks.

He leaves you in the hallway and you back into your room, shaking and crying.  You don’t care if he locks you in again. You need to be in a place where you feel somewhat safe and can process everything that just happened. You take the ring off and throw it across the room.

The night is spent curled in your bed crying and the next morning you walk self consciously to the kitchen. Bucky sits at the counter eating cereal and he knits his brow when he sees you.

“Hey, what’s wrong.”

You shake your head.

“You can tell me.” He looks at you with his big kind eyes and you decide to confide in him.

“Steve… assaulted me. He’s out of his mind, saying all sorts of crazy stuff. I don’t know what to do.”

Bucky holds you close.

“You’re his girl Y/N, don’t provoke him and you’ll have a good life.”

You tear yourself away and look at him with disbelief.

“It’s not a secret Y/N and we’re on Steve's side.”

You back away and head straight for the exit hitting Tony on the way

“Woah, what’s the rush?”

“I quit.” you say, tears starting to fall.

“You can’t quit princess, you’re Steve’s.”

Your breaths become shallow and your head starts feeling light.

“How did you think you got the job in the first place Y/N?”

You run to the elevator slamming the button over and over but it won’t let you down.

“What’s wrong with Y/N?” Thor walks over.

“She’s having a hard time adjusting to being Steve’s,” Tony answers.

“Let me out.” you yell.

Steve comes out of nowhere catching you in his arms and you throw your head back and duck. He stumbles back. Other Avengers start to gather and you pull your fists up in defense.

“I want to leave.”

“Come with me back to your room doll, it doesn’t have to be this hard.”

You stand your ground and Steve goes into a fighting stance. You don’t even have a chance, he has you trapped in his arms within minutes.

“I don’t understand.”

“We got your application in the mail. As soon as I saw your picture I knew you were the one I’ve been looking for.” he coos.

“Why go through the whole facade?”

“Use your brain Y/N. Everyone knows we’re together. There’s pictures of us everywhere online. You’ve talked to friends and family about our relationship. It won’t look weird when you drop off for a while because of your job and when you come back engaged nobody will blink an eye.”

“No.”

You look at the Avengers, you’re family. None of them do anything to help you. Every single one turns their back and walks away nonchalantly like it’s just another normal day.

Steve drags you to your room and closes the door. He walks over to where you threw your ring grabbing it off the floor, and places it back on your finger.

“This doesn’t come off again,” He says.

You look at the ring and back at Steve over and over trying to make sense of all of it. Steve walks purposefully to the drawer you keep your candles and lights several, placing them around the room.

He backs you into the bed and undresses you slowly and meticulously. He sits back and looks at your naked body, taking his time touching and examining every piece. He grabs your legs and parts them, looking at your pussy and two fingers in.

“So wet for me already.”

You shake your head and he lands a slap on your thigh.

“No.” He commands.

“Be good so I don’t have to punish you. You’ve seen me work, you know what I’m capable of.”

You bite your tongue and force yourself to lie still as he slams his cock into you. You cry out in pain and he rubs your arm and whispers sweet things. He kisses you as he pushes his cock deep into you. He grabs your chin and squeezes until you open up and let his tongue in.  you reach out and grab his arms and he pulls at your leg until you hug them around him.

“You can come Y/N.” he whispers

You shake your head.

He reaches between you and pushes against your clit. You fight against it for as long as you can but it becomes too much. An orgasm crashes over you and you flutter around his cock. He thrusts hard enough that you get pushed into the headboard and seconds later he’s coming in you. He smiles down at you, lovingly stroking you face.

“I love you Y/N”

You stay silent and he pulls you into a constricting hug.

“Don’t worry doll, you’ll love me soon.”  

You’ve always been the type of person to jump into things without thinking. It’s gotten you into plenty of trouble throughout your life. You’ve always been able to get yourself out of it,

but this time.

This time you jumped too far.

[seasonofthewicth]

A Groovy Kind of Love - Chapter 19

AN: Only the epilogue to go from here... I hope you guys enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing this.

previous chapter - masterlist - ao3

-- 

Rowan had never seen Aedion so hurt.

Pissed off? Sure. 

In their first year of college they had fought like the testosterone-fuelled, hot-blooded, young men that they had been. Rowan still remembered the black eye Aedion had given him during one particularly awful fight in their junior year. The bruise had hung around for far longer than the bad blood between him and Aedion and by now Rowan couldn’t recall what the reason for their fight had been, the punches had been thrown and that had been it.

As they had grown older and their friendship had matured they didn’t often fight. They knew each other well enough at this point that any fights ended before they had even begun, any points of view that would provoke the other were reworded before they could launch. Any snipes or taunts were let go before they had a chance to land. 

But this–the fight they had had back at the loft they shared with the others. Aedion was hurt. And Rowan had no defence. 

He hadn’t been keeping the job a secret on purpose, he hadn’t wanted to bring it up when he applied. He could admit to himself that a part of it had been out of fear of the shame that would follow a rejection. As it kept going however–an interview, a second interview, and then the offer–it had snowballed and there had never seemed the right moment to bring it up. 

Truthfully, he had thought it had been a longshot. The position in the law firm in Doranelle had seemed unattainable even with his degree, but seeing Aelin with the doctor had stirred something within him and he had sent off the application. He hadn’t expected to hear back from them and had busied himself with the bar since but now it seemed uncomfortably real.

Since applying he and Aelin had moved further than he had ever been able to hope for, he came home to her every night in his bed, he kissed her before she left in the mornings, he took her for dinner and was allowed the luxury of peeling her clothes off after they arrived back home. 

It was why Aelin had been the one person he had wanted to talk to about the job. Aelin was who he wanted to talk to about the busker he had seen on his way to work in the morning, Aelin was who he wanted to call when Lorcan was chewing his ear off, Aelin was who he wanted to turn to when he was lost. 

And he was.

But he had still held back, and now it had come around to bite him.

The job offer had been lingering around the back of his mind for the days since the firm had called, and they needed an answer by the end of the week. He had wanted to discuss his options with Aelin beforehand but had never found the perfect opportunity. 

He had tried to bring it up the day before but she had been late for a yoga class with Lysandra and had only had time to peck his lips as she had rushed out of their front door. He had tried to bring it up the day he had received the offer but Aelin had looked so pretty with her golden hair spread out across his pillow, only wearing his faded t-shirt with a brilliant smile on her beautiful face that he hadn’t wanted to risk scaring it away. 

He hadn’t meant for Aedion to find out. At least not before he had spoken to Aelin, but Aedion had caught the email notification that popped up on his screen before Rowan could clear it away, desperately hoping his friend was paying no attention. 

Aedion had demanded to know what the email had meant, even though they had both known it was more than clear. The words Aedion had hurled at him, Rowan knew, had been out of hurt and he had done his best to shake them off. 

He had been a coward, yet again, and he had all but ran from the loft, leaving Aedion clenching his fists in their living room, only to find himself face to face with Aelin. Her smile had been so open at the sight of him that his heart had clenched in his chest. He needed to talk to her–and he would–as soon as his shift was over. 

The clock on the side of the bar seemed to be taunting him, moving impossibly slowly, he swore at one point the time had even jumped back a minute between him checking the hands on its bare face. 

He nodded at the older male he had just served before walking away, wandering over to the other end of the bar. He was stacking glasses on the shelf when a voice sounded from behind him. 

“Rowan.” It was Malakai. 

Rowan hadn’t thought the night could spare any more confrontations but this was one he knew he couldn’t avoid, he couldn’t save this one for later. 

“Malakai,” was all he said as he turned to face the other man. 

Malakai’s face was kind as he surveyed Rowan. The lines around his eyes grew deeper as a kind smile curved onto his face. Rowan had always looked to Malakai as a mentor of sorts and he would be sad to see the older man go. 

“Have you decided then?”

Rowan sighed, throwing his towel over a shoulder. Malakai wasn’t wasting any time. 

“Whether you’re staying or going?” 

Rowan couldn’t help the small smile that he knew he wore and Malakai’s own smile grew at the sight. 

“Yes,” He said finally. “I wanted to speak to you but I hadn’t found the opportunity. I heard back a few days ago and it’s all ready to go.”

“You’re sure?” Malakai stepped forwards. 

“One hundred percent.” Rowan allowed the older male to clap him on the shoulder in as close to a hug as they would ever get. He didn’t hold back from returning the gesture. “The papers are ready to be signed any minute.”

Malakai drew back, a proud smile still on his lined face. “It’s good to hear, I told you this was a great opportunity.”

Rowan allowed himself to laugh as he flipped the other male off.

-- 

Aelin left the light off as she lay curled up in Rowan’s bed. 

The smell of him surrounded her, his musky pine and snow scent that she had become so accustomed to. She breathed it in deeply, comforted by even the leftovers of his presence. She wore a t-shirt of his, the well-worn cotton soft against her bare skin, and her legs were drowning in the lengths of a pair of his joggers. 

She almost hadn’t gone into his room, a dark and viscous part of her mind had wanted to hide away in her own room as punishment to him for not telling her but the rational part of her brain knew that was unfair. In their short moment in the hallway he had asked her to talk and she had to hope that he wanted to tell her. It wasn’t Rowan’s fault Aedion had blabbed. 

It was that thought that kept her tucked up in Rowan’s bed. That and her desire to see him. 

She hadn’t even known he had been looking for another job. She wondered when he had applied, whether he had applied before or after they had become… whatever they were. Gods, were they even a couple? 

Aelin hadn’t thought they had needed a conversation to explicitly discuss what they were doing, she had thought their dates, their kisses, and their time spent together said enough. Surely Rowan agreed. They had always been on the same page. 

This job threw more than a spanner in the works. Aelin had a job in Rifthold, and she hadn’t held it long but she loved it. She loved the school and each and every single one of the kids in her class. She loved her friends here. Lysandra and Dorian, Nehemia, Chaol and Yrene. She loved living in the loft, even with Lorcan, and she had become accustomed to coming home at the end of every day to some scheme or situation her roommates had concocted. She wasn’t sure she was ready to up and leave. 

Aelin swallowed, the motion an attempt at calm as she flopped onto her back, Rowan’s duvet rustling as she turned. The tightness in her chest at the thought of remaining here and trying to maintain a relationship while Rowan was across the sea in Doranelle told her all she needed to know. 

Aelin blinked back the tears as the soft click of their front door being unlocked echoed through the loft. She knew what she had to do. 

She stayed quiet as she listened to the thud of a pair of shoes being dumped by their front door, she didn’t dare move as she heard Rowan’s footsteps pause in the hallway outside their bedroom doors. She held her breath as the door cracked open and a sliver of light slid in from the hallway. 

Rowan didn’t bother flicking the main light of his bedroom on and Aelin watched as he emptied his pockets onto the desk, flicking out his phone and wallet before pulling his flannel off and tucking it onto the chair tucked under the table. He ran a strong hand through his hair as he leaned against the desk and released a sigh. 

“Hey, you,” Aelin said softly. 

Rowan’s head jerked towards her and the hand that had been in his hair slid down to rest on his now-bare stomach. Aelin flicked on a lamp and couldn’t help but bite her lip as she took Rowan in in the soft lighting. 

His body was powerfully cut and it was a shame it was always covered by those loose flannels he wore. His skin was brushed gold with the faintest dusting of fair hair and the toned planes of his body were a delight. She wanted to run her hands down his chest and feel how his heart would race. 

“Hi,” He said finally and his voice was quiet, careful. “I wasn’t sure you’d be in here.”

“Because of Aedion?” She asked, too nervous to bother beating around the bush. 

Rowan offered her a slight shrug of his broad shoulders. “I’m guessing he told you.”

“Yeah, he was upset. He didn’t know I didn’t know.”

Rowan nodded. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, it’s what I wanted to speak to you about after my shift.”

“Yeah I guessed. Rowan I–” Aelin kept her voice quiet as she built up to spill the words she had been tossing through her mind repeatedly in the hours he had been gone. “Rowan from what Aedion told me it sounds like a fantastic opportunity. I know we were starting something here and it was good but–”

“Aelin.” Rowan’s own voice was soft as he interrupted but Aelin shook her head. She needed to tell him how she felt. She lifted herself onto her knees on his bed, needing to be somehow closer to Rowan as she spoke. His position across the room had begun to worry her.

“No, Rowan. Please let me get this out.”

Rowan nodded, but a small smile crept onto his handsome face. He pushed away from the desk and began a slow journey towards her, Aelin took his smile as her cue to continue.  

“I have loved every minute we have spent together and I love living here and I love our life together here.”

She took a deep breath as Rowan came even closer still.  

“Aelin,” He said again as he placed a warm hand at her waist. Aelin almost melted into the touch. The feeling of him against her was enough to make her knees unsteady, even through the cotton of his t-shirt. She longed to kiss him, she knew Rowan’s touch could reassure her but she needed to get this out.

“Rowan, I love all of it.” Aelin lifted a hand to gently cup his cheek, she felt the stubble beneath her fingertips and she could feel the curls of air against her skin as he breathed, slowly and evenly. “And I hope we’re on the same page here or I’ll feel really stupid but,” Aelin swallowed. “If you’ll have me, I’d love to come with you.”

Rowan kept his gaze locked to her own as he lifted his hand to cup the back of her head. Aelin leaned back into his touch and allowed her eyes to flutter shut as Rowan drifted closer. 

She could feel him close to her, the heat of his body burning into her. He was still shirtless and it was a pity she had been too nervous to be able to take him in in all of his glory.

Slowly he leaned in and pressed his lips to her own. He lingered for a moment, only a gentle touch of their lips before pulling back. Aelin let her eyes drift open to look into his deep green eyes, swimming with the words he had held unsaid. 

He leaned back in to press his lips to her own once more. This time he stayed longer, and used the hand at her neck to tilt her head to the side as he parted her lips with his own. He used his tongue to tell her all the words he was yet to say and he poured them into his kiss. 

Aelin let herself lean into him, lining her body up with the length of his as he kissed her. He kissed her with an intensity she hadn’t thought possible and Aelin was swept along. She twisted her fingers into his hair, holding him even more tightly to her as his lips caressed hers. 

He let out a soft gasp at the scratch of her nails against his scalp and Aelin smiled into the kiss. 

Rowan returned the smile as he pressed a final kiss to her lips before pulling back to look at her. His hand still cupped the back of her head, holding him close to her as he spoke, his voice thick with emotion. 

“You’d do that for me?” He sounded breathless, only partly from the kiss they had shared.

Aelin smiled. It was the easiest answer she had ever given him. “Of course I would.”

Rowan didn’t speak, he only leant back in to kiss her again. This kiss was stronger and he held her more firmly as he ran his tongue across her lower lip and slid his fingers into the tangles of her thick hair. His kisses told her more than his words ever could, she could feel the tightness in each of his muscles and the passion in each sweep of his tongue. 

After a few moments he pulled back once more. His chest heaved under her hands and Aelin ran her palms down the ridged planes of his abdomen, marvelling in the sensation of the velvet-wrapped steel beneath her fingertips. 

She lifted her eyes back to his face to find him watching her, an awed expression on his face as he did.

“Aelin, I’m really hoping we’re on the same page here too or else I’ll feel stupid,” He threw her an almost cheeky smile and she leaned back into his arms, her chin tilting upwards to look at his face. “But I love you. I love you and if you’ll have me I’d like to stay here. We’re not going anywhere.”

Aelin threw her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. Rowan loved her. Her heart felt like it could take off inside her chest and she could only laugh into his shoulder as the relief settled into her. All of her doubts had been unnecessary because Rowan loved her. Rowan loved her and he wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Rowan,” She pulled back but kept her arms looped around his neck as she grinned at him. “I love you too.”

Aelin closed the gap between them and pressed a kiss to his lips. She could barely kiss him through the laugh that bubbled out of her, unable to contain her joy. 

“Wait,” She pulled back with a jolt. As overjoyed as she was she couldn’t let it slide. “We’re not going anywhere? Rowan you can't turn this job down.”

“I can,” He pressed the gentlest of pecks to the tip of her nose. “And I will.”

“Why?” Aelin shook her head, struggling to comprehend all that had occurred since Rowan had returned from his shift. “Don’t you want to take it? Would you regret it?”

“I definitely won’t regret it.” At her brief look of apprehensiveness he continued. “I thought it was what I wanted when I submitted the application but it’s not.”

He punctuated his statement with a squeeze of her waist and if Aelin was stood up she definitely could have swooned. 

“It’s not? Why?” Aelin shook her head. “You have me, either way you decide to go.”

Rowan smiled down at her and Aelin could only describe the look in his eyes as he spoke as love. “You don’t think I only had one plan did you?”

The crooked smile he flashed at her gave Aelin a glimpse of the cocky side to him he didn’t often show. He had begun to show it to her more and more since they had started dating and Aelin swore her skin heated every time that cocky smile made an appearance. 

Aelin bit her lip as she tightened the loop of her arms around his neck and she fell back to lie on the bed, pulling Rowan into the space between her legs as she did. The weight of him between her thighs and the heat of him against her core sent a pulse through her that set her skin on fire.

Aelin could rest here forever, with Rowan surrounding her and pressing her into the mattress as she curled her leg around his hip. 

“No?” She asked finally, raising an eyebrow at him as she remembered the words he had said that had led her to pulling him onto the bed. 

“I don’t want to work in a stuffy law firm, I want to work here in the bar.” He took a deep breath, still hovering above her as he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. He shrugged almost nonchalantly. “A few months ago Malakai came to me about selling his half of the bar. He and Emrys are retiring back to Wendlyn and so he’s selling his share of the bar.”

Aelin felt her mouth drop open slightly. She hadn’t even known the bar was to be sold, and she hadn’t ever imagined Rowan would buy it… But it made perfect sense. The bar was a part of Rowan and it always came to her mind when she thought of him. The same way flannel shirts and the scent of pine did, with the memories of his hand on her waist or the sound of his low laugh in her ears. 

Rowan continued to speak, his voice growing more and more sure as he did. 

“He offered me a really great price but even so I wasn’t sure I could swing it–or that I even wanted to. And then we were there one night, all of us. Me, you, Aedion, Lorcan and Fenrys–Lysandra and Elide were there too–and I realised I didn’t want the job in Doranelle, I wanted what I already have. I don’t want to leave you or the others or the bar.”

“I’m sure Lorcan will be so thrilled to hear.” Aelin knew her grin was blinding. 

He kissed her neck. “Mostly you.”

“So?” She prompted, forcing her mind to stay on task even as Rowan’s mouth roamed her neck, pressing hot kisses along her skin. 

He drew back after a final kiss to the base of her throat. His eyes were dark with heat but he cleared his throat, shaking himself out of the arousal she knew he felt. 

“So, I went to the bank and apparently years of living with Aedion and his organisation,” Aelin snorted a laugh at the description of her cousin. He was somewhat uptight when it came to money but it always came in handy. “Has left me with a pretty decent credit score.”

“Yeah?”

Rowan nodded as he returned his face to her neck, this time nuzzling the skin gently. 

“Yeah. As of tomorrow when we sign the papers I’ll be a majority owner of the bar.”

Aelin smiled as she squeezed her eyes shut and slipped her fingers through the thick strands of his hair. 

“The boss,” Aelin crooned, leaning so that her lips brushed his ear. “That’s hot.”

He nipped at the skin under her ear, pressing down with her skin between his teeth enough to make her hiss. 

“I know.” Rowan said as he slid his mouth up to the skin under her ear, a tease of what she knew was to come. “I know as much as you front you like it when I’m in charge.”

His words sent a peal of heat through her, curling into her core as she dragged his face up to her own and crashed her lips to his. 

-- 

Loft meeting, read Aelin’s message to their group text chain. 

Rowan wasn’t sure they’d had a loft meeting since Aelin had moved in and the thought of his girlfriend calling one now amused him. Lorcan didn’t look amused to be crammed on their sofa between himself and Fenrys while Aelin stood in front of the four of them, her arms crossed across her chest doing things to her boobs that left Rowan trying not to stare. 

“Please get on with telling us why you called this meeting Galathynius.” Lorcan’s tone was playfully bored and Rowan rolled his eyes. Aelin only grinned as she clapped her hands. 

“We have a matter to settle.”

Rowan barely held back his groan. 

“Don’t moan,” She told him. “It was you two that wrote the loft charter.”

“Yeah,” Aedion scoffed. “Like ten years ago.”

Aelin shrugged, undeterred. “The rules still apply. Any loft disagreements settled with one dig each, and then never to be mentioned again.”

“Aelin, no,” Rowan began and stopped as she cocked a brow at him. 

“It’s this or you can talk it out.”

Rowan glanced to where Aedion sat at the other end of the couch. The blond male was avoiding his gaze. From where Rowan stood–or sat–their argument was water under the bridge, he completely understood everything Aedion had said, but Aelin had wanted to make sure the two of them were good. 

Without wanting to drag it out anymore Rowan stood from the sofa, pointedly ignoring the wide grin Fenrys wore. He stood in front of Aelin and Aedion squared up opposite him. 

His friend’s face was full of remorse and Rowan only nodded in acknowledgement. They knew they were good, this performance was for Aelin’s sake. 

“I am sorry about what I said, man,” Aedion began. “You’re definitely not going anywhere?”

Rowan spared a glance to the woman at his side, her bright blue eyes shining as she smiled at him, the golden ring at their centre just as intriguing as it had been the day he had met her. He hadn’t ever imagined he could have ended up in this position, where this beautiful woman wanted him as much as he wanted her. Where she returned everything he felt with just as much passion and intensity, it could make his head spin just to think about. 

He offered her a quick quirk of his lips, and delighted in the soft pink that dotted her cheeks. 

“No,” He said at last. “I’ve got a pretty good reason to stay.”

“Gods, get on with it,” Fenrys jeered from their side. 

Rowan made to flip him off but Aedion beat him to it. 

Rowan grinned at his friend as he raised his fists. Aedion nodded as he readied his own. 

“Three, two, one,” Aelin counted down. 

Rowan swung as Aedion did, landing a dig to his friend’s bicep as Aedion landed his own. As always, it was over before it began and he allowed Aedion to throw his arm around his shoulder, barely hissing as his arm pressed into Aedion’s side. 

“Glad that’s sorted.” Lorcan stood, smoothing down the dark denim coating his long legs. “Drinks at Whitethorn’s bar? Now you own it we’re not paying for drinks.”

Rowan laughed and felt Aedion’s own laughter at his side. Slim fingers linked through his own and he squeezed Aelin’s fingers as she joined in their laughter. 

“When have you ever paid for a drink in there anyway?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Lorcan shrugged as he led the way to their door. “I was warning you I wasn’t about to start.”

Rowan wrapped his arm around Aelin’s shoulders and he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head as they followed their friends out of their front door. The echoes of his friends’ laughter and the sweet peals of Aelin’s surrounded him as they made their way through the space.

-- 

tags:

@jesstargaryenqueen​​

@maybekindasortaace​​

@slytheringalathynius​​

@http-itsrebecca​​

@morganofthewildfire​​

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato​​

@fictional-horan​​

@tottenhamboys20

@dressedindustandshadows​​

@sleeping-and-books​​

@perseusannabeth​​

@ireallyshouldsleeprn​​

@superspiritfestival​​

@aelinfeyreeleven945tbln

@spyofthenightcourt​​

@jlinez​​

@queen-of-glass​​

@booknerdproblems​​

@sjmships​​

@elriel4life​​

@bamchickawowow​​

@woollycat22​​

@claralady​​

@illyrianwitchling

@SHINYA-HIIRAGI

@fangirlprincess09​​

@darlinminds​​

@bookittothelibrary1

@thenerdandfandoms​​

@danibutterr​​

@inthecityair​​

@autophobiaxx​​​

@imaginedhaven​

​@endlessdaydream - I’m having an issue with this tag not sure why :(

please as always let me know if there are any issues with tags

[insomniac-jay]

I Refuse

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Swearing

Aizawa calls a meeting between all the Pro Heroes present at the Sports Festival, desperate to find one that'll take in Bakugo. (Sorta anti Bakugo but not really bc the focus is more on Aizawa than him)

"Here you go, ladies."

Pro Heroine Queen Amazonia handed her two newest interns, Setsuna Tokage and Yui Kodai, their applications with a smile on her face. "Feel free to contact me or my team if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, alright?" she said.

"Uh-huh!" Setsuna gave her a thumbs up.

"Excellent. See you ladies next week. Bye."

"Bye." Queen Amazonia smiled and watched the two walk off. She knew that she was going to turn those into to great heroines and she couldn't wait for some hands on training with them. The ringing of her phone pulled her from her thoughts and she answered.

"Hello?"

"Howdy, Merida." She recognized the voice on the other end as Starlight Ranger's, especially with the cowboy vernacular and Southern accent. "What's up, Dolly?"

"'Raserhead called us into a meeting. I think it's about one of his students." Starlight Ranger replied. A slight sigh left Queen Amazonia's mouth. She was hoping to get back to the agency and prepare for her interns to come in next week but that would have to be put on hold. "I'm coming." she said before hanging up. A big huff left her mouth as she walked towards the meeting room. To her surprised, there were other Pro Heroes outside.

"What's going on?" she touched the shoulder of fellow Pro Hero Hellcat. The other shrugged and pulled out a cigarette.

Inside, Aizawa was glaring daggers at Yarite, U.A.'s external resources admin. "I'm telling you, Aizawa! No one wants him!" he yelled. "Stop these mindless actions and just accept that!" Aizawa slammed his hand on the desk. "There must be someone who does!"

Yarite sighed and rubbed his temples. "Aizawa, any sane hero knows that he would damage their reputation just by them even looking at him." he said. "Please, just-"

"No! Shut up!" Aizawa yelled.

Yarite sighed and grabbed his belongings. This was a useless conversation to have and he didn't get paid enough to sit up and argue with his coworker. Once gone, the other Pro Heroes came in and sat down. "What the fuck is this about, Eraserhead?" Phoenix Knight asked in a rather vulgar tone, which was unusual for him.

"I called this meeting to discuss your picks for interns." Aizawa said. "You seemed to have picked everyone else but a certain student of mine: Bakugo Katsuki." Several heroes grimaced while others rolled their eyes. "As per policy of our school, I urge one of you to take him under your wing."

"No. I won't." Madam Magic said. "Listen, Eraserhead, I know you don't give two shits about your reputation, but I do. I need my career as an entertainer. It's the only way I can earn a living because God forbid you pay female Pro Heroes enough to make a solid living." She stood up and began walking towards the door.

"Madam Magic, don't you dare walk out that door!" Aizawa shouted. Madam Magic turned to him with raised eyebrows. "When did you become my father? Last time I checked, I needed my sponsors to help me pay for my new apartment. Your rowdy student will leave me homeless and struggling to make ends meet." She opened the door and slammed it as she walked out.

"Magic's right, Eraserhead." Power InOut said as he also stood up. "I can't really have a brat like that working for me. Sorry but I'm really not." He, too, walked out of the meeting.

One by one, all the heroes rejected him and left until it was only him left. All he could see was red and he began trashing the meeting room. "Fuck all of you! I'll prove you all wrong!"

Walking past the room was Miss Parker and Polarmare. "I guess they told him what we already knew they were going to tell him." Polarmare said.

"Of course they were." Miss Parker said. "He's gonna have to scramble to find him an internship or else that's his paycheck."

Polarmare chuckled slightly. "I'd love to see that."

@calciumcryptid @floof-ghostie @ozepica @elflynns-horde-of-stuff

[robininthelabyrinth]

An AU where NHS is the one JGY kills? How would NMJ react to this? Would he care about his morals in the wake of his little brother murder? Would he take JGY life as enough “justice” for his brother bc if u think about it the last time a sect killed one member of his family (the Wen) he was down to go to war and kill them all and that wasn’t someone he had swore to protect :)

Something, once shattered, could never be put together quite the same way as before; it was a truism as applicable to the soul and the heart as it was to objects. And when his brother was killed over a matter of politics, a stupid disagreement between sect leaders over a question of principle, Nie Mingjue’s heart shattered – and his convictions with it.

Wei Wuxian had once heard it said that one should fear most of all the patient man, a gentleman waiting ten years for vengeance; whoever had said that, he thought, had never met Nie Mingjue after he’d blackened. The man wasn’t patient in the slightest.

It hadn’t seemed so bad in the beginning. The man had brought his brother’s body to the Burial Mounds, the corpse curled in his arms like a child, and he had knelt before Wei Wuxian could stop him.

“You revived Wen Ning, even though he was a child of a Sect,” he said, and his eyes were like black coals, the fierce light that had once shined within them utterly extinguished. “Can you revive him, too?”

Wei Wuxian hesitated.

“I will not hold it against you if you can’t,” Nie Mingjue said. He should have been angry, Wei Wuxian would later remember thinking; Nie Mingjue was known for his anger, his rage – why wasn’t he angry? Why wasn’t he raging? It was only later that he realized that Nie Mingjue’s grief was so complete, so all-consuming, that it had pushed him somewhere beyond rage. “But I would ask that you try. In return, I will help you defend those you protect, now and going forward.”

That was a tempting offer. Wei Wuxian had been forced to split from the Jiang sect because they could not protect him; the Nie, on the other hand, were more established, stronger. If they survived this loss, they would be very good protection.

Still, Wei Wuxian wouldn’t sell a false bid of goods.

“He won’t come back to life,” Wei Wuxian said, coming forward to put a hand on Nie Huaisang’s chest. There was resentment there, not as much as Wen Ning, who had suffered so much and kept it all to himself, no, but enough. Whoever had killed him had been someone he had trusted, and he had died angry and betrayed – and no one did anger better than the Nie. It would probably be enough. “He’d still only be a corpse. You know that, right? Your sect above all others abhors the existence of evil –”

“I don’t care,” Nie Mingjue said. “It was my righteousness that failed him; I will not let it stop me again.”

“He wouldn’t be evil,” Wei Wuxian tried to explain. “Wen Ning isn’t evil. But he’d still be a corpse.”

“Even if he is evil, it doesn’t matter,” Nie Mingjue said. “I won’t be able to stop until I see him again.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t know what Nie Mingjue meant, and he was so uncomfortable with having the unbending, unyielding sect leader kneeling before him, begging him the way Wen Ruohan could have only dreamed of, that he doesn’t ask any more questions, merely agreed to give it his best effort.

He should have asked.

He should have –

He didn’t know what he should have done. At any rate, he would later learn that Nie Mingjue spoke the truth: he would not stop. He couldn’t stop.

He left his brother in Wei Wuxian’s care, and he returned to the Unclean Realm, and from there he set for to Lanling, to Koi Tower, where the people who had killed his brother lived. Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure what happened there, isolated from gossip as he was; by the time one of the Wens dared go down to the village and heard about it, everyone had universally started to refuse to talk about the entire event, naming it taboo.

Still, they heard enough.

Perhaps Jin Guangshan had hoped that his younger brother’s death would drive Nie Mingjue into a qi deviation, or perhaps he’d thought that Nie Mingjue would be so bound up in his belief in justice, his respect for etiquette and law, that he would not be able to respond in force. Perhaps he simply didn’t think it through at all.

He certainly didn’t think that Nie Mingjue would come to Lanling in the middle of the night, without warning nor declaration of war, and raze Koi Tower to the ground before half the cultivators of the Jin even knew what was happened. Who knew what salt was used to sow the fields, what monsters were willingly unleashed, but the entire city died almost overnight, the ground turned to ash, flames hot enough to melt gold rising up to the heavens with a roar like a dragon, the people was put to the sword – some people believed the children had been spared, others denied it. Nobody knew anything for sure.

They said Nie Mingjue was like a martial god, eyes indifferent even as he reaped life after life – Wen Ruohan had carefully cultivated his inner sect disciples from the most powerful he could find, and they almost all fell before Nie Mingjue’s blade; Jin Guangshan’s cultivators, who were selected on the basis of other considerations, didn’t stand a chance. There was no mercy, no humanity left; Nie Mingjue had left that all behind along with his righteousness, disregarded as useless and unimportant because it couldn’t even keep his brother safe – and Wei Wuxian thought of Jiang Cheng, thought of Jiang Yanli, and couldn’t say that he’d do it any differently.

Some people even said Nie Mingjue wielded demonic cultivation in his anger.

Wei Wuxian didn’t know if that was true.

He didn’t know how he’d feel if it was.

He didn’t know what to feel, when Jiang Cheng came to him – they’d broken all ties, not so long before, and so it was a surprise to see him.

“Did anyone see you –” he began.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Jiang Cheng said. His clothing was disorderly, his face unclean; he did not seem to be well. “Nothing does – the Jin sect is gone.”

Wei Wuxian felt fear for the first time. “But – shijie?”

“She’s safe,” Jiang Cheng said. “Jiang Ling, too; they’re at the Lotus Pier.”

“Jiang Ling?” Wei Wuxian echoed, eyebrows arching.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “A surname is a small price to pay for life,” he said shortly, and that really said it all, didn’t it? “I don’t know what happened to the peacock, but I’m not holding my breath; rescuing shijie was already more than I expected…I’ve agreed not to interfere, in the future.”

“The future?” Wei Wuxian echoed. “What – what more is there? I thought the scheme was Jin Guangshan’s –”

“It was, but he wasn’t the only one who would benefit from it,” Jiang Cheng said. He ran his hands over his face. “The Jin were second only to the Wen when it came to the number of allied clans – anyone who had anything to do with it, even under suspicion, is considered guilty…I’ve all but given up our Jiang sect’s independence. If Nie Mingjue wants to wipe out one of the sects that answers to us, I won’t be able to stop him. My ancestors will be ashamed of me.”

“You did it for shijie.”

“I did it for all of us,” Jiang Cheng said. “I heard during the Sunshot Campaign that Wen Ruohan once sought an alliance with Nie Mingjue to dominate the rest of the world, which was rejected on account of what happened to the former Sect Leader – I believe it. I never thought it was true back then, but I believe it now. The masterless sabers –”

He shook his head, sealing his lips, and no matter what Wei Wuxian did, he couldn’t get another word out of him, just that ominous final phrase – the masterless sabers – how could a saber not have a master? A sword was only a spiritual weapon, guided by the cultivator that wielded it – even the Stygian Tiger Seal was only a tool.

“Why are you here, then?” Wei Wuxian finally asked.

Jiang Cheng looked at him as if he were stupid. “If I die, the Jiang Sect dies with me – where else would I be?” He saw that Wei Wuxian didn’t understand and snorted, shaking his head. “Didn’t Nie Mingjue promise you that those you protected would be kept safe? Well, here I am.”

Wei Wuxian licked suddenly dry lips. “Why would he kill you?”

“Because I would benefit,” Jiang Cheng said simply. “Whether or not I support what happened, I would benefit, a fellow sect leader…out of recognition for our former relationship, he told me that if I were here, I would live. The Lotus Pier won’t be touched. Besides, I’m here for another reason, on behalf of the cultivation world.”

“Oh? For what?”

“To get you to hurry up and bring Nie Huaisang back, of course. I don’t think anything short of that will make Nie Mingjue stop.”

I won’t be able to stop until I see him again.

“The process takes time,” Wei Wuxian protested. “Even though I have an idea of what to do, it’s not easy, it’s tricky –”

“I brought you help,” Jiang Cheng said shortly. He nodded down the mountain, where he’d left –

“That’s a small child,” Wei Wuxian said blankly.

“Somewhat undernourished,” Jiang Cheng conceded. “His name is Xue Yang; he’s a delinquent from Kuizhou, rather famous – well, infamous – for being pretty handy with demonic cultivation –”

“Jiang Cheng. That is a small child.”

“The Jin Sect took him in as a guest disciple –”

“Small! Child! How old is he, eight?”

“Twelve.”

“Jiang Cheng!”

“He’s pretty annoying, but he’ll shut up if you give him candy,” Jiang Cheng said. “I brought a bag. Now get back to fucking work before more people die.”

At first meeting, Xue Yang was a nasty little gremlin, full of spite and not a little bit of brilliance; it was extremely annoying how much it felt like looking into a slightly off-kilter mirror. He’d lost a finger, somewhere along the way, and while there was a sword buckled onto his belt he never used it – it took a while before Wei Wuxian noticed it, given that he himself didn’t use a sword and he’d assumed Xue Yang was following his example, but in fact the boy was terrified of swords.

More specifically, of sabers.

Even Nie Huaisang’s, which was – to be frank – the daintiest, frilliest saber Wei Wuxian had ever seen.

“You were a guest disciple of the Jin sect before,” Wei Wuxian said. “You saw what happened? The masterless sabers?”

Xue Yang averted his eyes and didn’t answer, which meant yes; he would otherwise have had a snappy answer of some sort.

“Was it that bad?”

“It was worse,” Xue Yang said, uncharacteristically solemn. “The masterless sabers - they hate evil. Who told them that people were evil?”

“I did,” a low voice said from behind him, and Xue Yang froze, the whites of his eyes showing; he resembled a small rabbit that had tried to demonstrate its toughness being suddenly faced with the teeth of a tiger.

“Sect Leader Nie,” Wei Wuxian said, much more respectfully than he might have otherwise, before the rumors. Nie Mingjue looked much the same as he had the first time: back straight, wearing his clan’s colors, his eyes dead inside. Even Baxia looked the same.

But he felt – wrong.

Maybe he really was using demonic cultivation, but if he was, it wasn’t anything like what Wei Wuxian had invented.

“How is my brother?” Nie Mingjue asked.

“The process is going very well so far,” Wei Wuxian hedged. “I should have a result for you within a week.”

Nie Mingjue nodded and turned to go.

“What are you going to do when he wakes?” Wei Wuxian asked, and Nie Mingjue stopped. “You said you couldn’t stop until he was back – what does it mean, that you’ll stop? Stop the killing? What will happen next?”

“Bring my brother back,” Nie Mingjue said. He didn’t turn back. “And we’ll see.”

That wasn’t reassuring. “Where are you going next?”

“The Cloud Recesses.”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened. “You can’t possibly believe that the Gusu Lan sect had anything to do with it – that’s your sworn brother’s home!”

“We made an oath together,” Nie Mingjue said. “I will uphold my end of it.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t understand; he simply stood there, helpless, watching the other man leave.

There was a tug on his sleeve.

He looked down at Xue Yang.

“The one who killed his brother, on behalf of the Jin sect,” Xue Yang whispered. “It was Jin Guangyao.”

Wei Wuxian thought about what he’d heard about the contents of the oath that the three war heroes had sworn and cursed, torn between chasing Nie Mingjue and stopping him and realizing that that would be futile. Even if he could raise an army of corpses to stop him, a man with an army that could defeat the Jin sect wouldn’t be afraid of him – and he didn’t dare use the Tiger Seal now.

“Let’s do what we can,” he told Xue Yang, who nodded furiously, all reluctance and moodiness gone. “If we can get Nie Huaisang back before Nie Mingjue reaches the Cloud Recesses, that’ll – that’d be good.”

“I don’t know if it’ll help.”

Neither did Wei Wuxian.

part 2

[letsdiscoverkitty]

"Life" Update - May 2021

This is the last of the three updates I have to post at the moment. If anyone actually reads these, especially in one go, you really do deserve a medal and I have no idea what I have done to deserve your kindness and support but THANK YOU SO MUCH (to all of you who are here, you are all truly wonderful and amazing) Okay, let's get going....

I suppose the title is a bit, well, overkill. To say that anyone has been had any sort of "life" over the past year would be a huge misuse of the word. The global pandemic has, quite literally, turned life upside down for the vast majority of people and I know that lockdowns, especially in the UK, have meant that anything other than what was deemed "essential" has been off the cards, which has hit us all hard.

I personally found it quite difficult whilst I was in hospital as although on the one hand it was good to know that there wasn't much that you were missing out on whilst locked on a ward with 15 minutes fresh air (if you were lucky), it did make it hard to find/hold onto motivation at times. Coupled with the fear of how my dad's condition would progress, whether he would make it and what sort of home life I would be going back to; the world suddenly felt even noisier than it had before (which I didn't think was really possible). The situation seemed to further heighten my fears as well as add to them. I found my mind was swamped with so many questions and fears, to then be asked about my future/what I wanted to do with my life (that classic question) and what my motivations were to get better, was too much. I fell blank.

I had completely lost myself and any shed of hope that was left inside of me. I tried to put on a smile; paint a different picture to the outside world but inside I was dark. I was hollow. I was empty.

What was the point? You never know what is waiting around the corner; everything can turn upside down overnight. What kind of 'life' would there be going back to anyway? Would it be possible to go to University anymore or would there still be multiple restrictions in place? would that make the huge financial costs worth it? What sort of society will we be coming out of the pandemic anyway? Will we even come out of this? Will people ever go back to offices again? Will we be able to see friends soon or go out to places? What about travelling? Fun? LIFE?

I found depression swamped me more than ever after dad's accident. I was trying to hold myself together for mum but I was losing all hope of anything ever being 'the same' or 'okay' again. In the end, the only reason I accepted the admission was for mum - I wanted to be able to support her with dad in hospital and us not know what the future held; as much as I wished I could be there all the time, I knew in the state I was that I couldn't. Initially I was told the admission would be a short one, that I could then go back home to support my mum through the family trauma...but that 4 weeks soon turned into over 8 months, which I still can't believe.

Gosh, I am sorry, I seem to have got a little distracted. This was meant to be the POSITIVE update. So let's get to those bits...

NEWS ONE: I HAVE A JOB (starting in Sept)

So whilst in hospital my consultant kept trying to get me to think about what I wanted to do with my life (just the small questions you know *lol*) - in her eyes she thought it would be risky to go back to University to do neuroscience/a degree so intense, and that instead I should think about doing something more creative, taking small steps to get a part time job and then go from there - which, as much as I hated to admit, I agreed with. However after one particularly bad run-in with the nutritionist when she decided to tell me that she didn't think I could achieve a life beyond Anorexia (it must have been mid-way-ish through my admission) blah blah blah (I get that she could have been trying to motivate me but there is a way to go about it and then there are ways to really not go about it and she chose the latter). Anyway, I was rather angry/mad and ended up doing basically trying to prove everyone wrong and started doing some research into my different options...

Long story short: I ended up applying to a degree apprenticeship scheme in business management...I've never really considered something like this before, perhaps partially because at school they drilled into me that business was a "soft" subject as it would not be looked upon very highly for Oxbridge applications *rolls eyes*. Thankfully I did a lot of research into Degree Apprenticeships a few years ago so I knew where to look online. Anyway, back to this application. I ended up going through the process/tests, somehow managing to make it through the initial online stages, then just before I was discharged I was invited to a online interview!

I only had a few days to do the interview before it timed out so I actually ended up doing it In the end the day after I was discharged (not ideal) and I was convinced that I had messed it up as it was one of those ones where you get shown the question for around 30 seconds before being given 2 minutes to respond - i.e. stress.pressure.anxiety.stumbling over words. HORRENDOUS.

I somehow passed the interview and the reviews before being invited to an online assessment centre in Feb, which spanned a whole day and included multiple interviews (the first was a strengths based interview with 2 interviewers for just over an hour - yuck!!!) as well as a presentation which we were given 24hrs in advance to prepare for (we were given 4 'topics'/questions and had to answer all of them in a 15 minute window using aids if we chose to, again to 2 (different) interviewers before having a 45 minute further interview - double yuck!)

Dare I say that I actually enjoyed the preparation for the presentation and the interviews?! It was so nice to have a focus and something to be working on that I was actually really beginning to connect with/want/see myself doing. The interviews and presentation themselves? HORRIBLE but the process reignited something within me. After the assessment centre day we were told it could be 7-10 working days to hear back from them - waiting for anything like this is just the worst so I wasn't looking forward to it and tried not to get my hopes up as these schemes are ridiculously hard to get into... Well, I got the call the next day saying that they were so impressed and out of something like 14,000 applications, I was offered one of the spaces on the scheme!! - I honestly still can't believe it and imposter syndrome is v real -

I know at the beginning of this I sounded very blase about the whole thing but as I progressed through the process, as I read more about the scheme and the business and what it would entail, the more I began to get excited. The more I realised how interesting it was and what an amazing opportunity it would be for me.

Despite this, I was also at the time, finishing up yet another an application to University (for the millionth time, I swear I must be a pro at these personal statements by now) this time for psychology and behavioural studies. This was before I got the offer of the degree apprenticeship scheme, which I knew was a long shot with only a handful of places given for thousands of applicants, so I felt I had to keep my options open (Neuro is still an area of fascination to me but not so much with the INTENSE LEVEL of physiology and pharmacology that I was doing at Bristol. Yes bits of it were good and interesting but that degree was ridiculous and, again, I felt far more drawn towards the behavioural studies and psychology when researching into Universities). I ended up getting 3 offers, 1 interview for Cambridge and 1 rejection (ironically from Bristol, even with my recommendation/support being from my previous personal tutor at Bristol!) - so I suddenly had options. And then the offer from the degree apprenticeship came through and there were even more options to choose from.

It honestly felt so surreal (and still does).

In the end, after a lot of thinking and debating and researching and talking, I decided to withdraw my University application and I accepted the degree apprenticeship role. Overall it is such an incredible opportunity that I knew I couldn't turn down, whereas University will always be there. I am actually getting a little excited about it (as well as extremely nervous, but I must say that the company has made a really positive/good impression thus far, even as far as creating MH podcasts with a psychologist for us and offering things like zoom baking sessions!).

So what is this degree apprenticeship? In short, it is a 3 year course during which I will have a Monday to Friday job at the company (for which the office is actually commutable from home - it is about 1hrs drive, which is not the best but it does mean that I can stay at home for at least the first year and there is a train I could get if I was too tired to do the drive all the time. As much as staying at home is not my long term plan it might help with the transition back to work/education to have a bit of stability and the support). During the first 2 years at the company we do four separate 6 month rotations in different areas to get lots of experience (marketing, supply chain, sales etc) whilst in the final year you get to put in a preference for where you would like to work for the year long placement. During this, every 6 or 7 weeks, we have to spend a week at University (which is not in commutable distance at all so the the company pays for our accommodation, travel and food during this time). As far as I have been told, we also get time during the working week allocated to do Uni work as well as our standard 'desk' jobs. Oh and not to mention one of the biggest sellers for degree apprenticeships....the company is basically sponsoring you so pays ALL of your tuition fees PLUS a basic salary! This means that you come out, in this case, with a Chartered business management degree, 3 years of hands-on work experience, as well as you being pretty much guaranteed a job within the company AND no student debt!!! How incredible is that? PLUS one big perk of the job is that they allow dogs in the office - I mean how could I say no to that?!!!!

So yes, by some magical miracle I actually have a job lined up for September! It still doesn't feel real and I am yet to fully process it. They don't know how it will be affected by COVID but the company did continue the programme last year (unlike some that postponed) so fingers crossed all should be going ahead. I have 'met' the other 4(?) who are on the scheme at my office as well and they seem lovely (including one other person who is my age/slightly older - which was such a relief as I was worried about it being only people just out of college).

I realise that it is going to be tough, I do not underestimate that at all, but I couldn't let anorexia still yet ANOTHER life milestone and opportunity away from me. There was a lot of questioning as to whether I should take it or not; I went back and forth between many spreadsheets that I made but I think this opportunity far outweighs going back to University. I have tried that route twice already and had to leave because of everything/haven't really coped (I think in some ways, being at Uni there is TOO MUCH free time and it allowed my perfectionism to run riot as I always felt like I was 'behind' in one way or another?). And that is not to mention that if I was going back to University, I would need to spend another 3-4 years studying, I would leave with little work experience or job in mind at the age of 29/30 with a mountain of debt.... And as I said before, I can always go back to University if I want to in the future/re train if I decide to, but this opportunity with a global company, well, this will never ever come my way again.

So yes that is my BIG BIG news. But I also have one more bit of news....

I'm getting a kitten. Yes, A KITTEN!!!!! I have so much more to say on this but for now you will have to wait and see. Photos will come when SHE does (a couple of weeks now)!!!

[anjalis-ennui]

emeralds and steel. (pt. 1)

                                       ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n: hi! this is my bucky barnes x reader series! reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns in this! she is also born indian as i myself am indian and i don’t see enough indian representation, especially in fics. however, she knows many languages, so feel free to interpret her ethnicity as you see fit. i’m sorry for not posting anything over the past couple of days, as i was working on this! i hope you enjoy!

warnings: canon-typical violence, sexism, racism, implied racial slurs

tags: none so far, but if you would like to join the taglist, please fill out the taglist form!

summary: reader is a sorceress who was prophesized to be the host of the time stone. she has been alive since ancient greece and has been wandering the earth since. she cannot age nor die since she is now the body of an infinity stone. she was in the british royal military during the second world war, but didn’t see her strengths used well, so she signs up for the ssr: being shipped out to project rebirth with peggy carter.

                                      ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Rejected.”

“With all due respect, sir, I have been part of the British Royal Military far longer than you have had a job. I wish to join the Strategic Scientific Reserve, for which my resume is--to be honest--overqualified.”

“What would an Indian woman have to do with the British Royal Military? I find your story ineffably false.” The snooty man pushed his glasses up his nose and narrowed his eyes at her. Her tie was askew, her hair was all over the place, and her papers were in a bunch: only held together by her hands.

Just then, another woman walked by the desk, raising her eyebrows at the pair. “Don’t tell me you don’t recognize Lieutenant (l/n), Mr. Lowe. She’s got not one, but two doctorates in the sciences. I’d think she’s rather qualified for the SSR, regardless of her gender or race.” The man huffed and got up, storming off to who knows where. The woman smiled and held her hand out. “Agent Peggy Carter from the SSR. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Lieutenant.” 

(Y/n) smiled, furrowing her brows, and shook Peggy’s hand. “I’m surprised you know who I am.”

“Nonsense, I’ve followed your career since I joined the military. You’re somewhat of a legend around these parts. Now, the head of the SSR heard of your application and is assigning you to Project Rebirth as a supervisor alongside myself. Your doctorates in chemistry and neuroscience will help us quite a lot.” She started walking towards a side door, motioning for (y/n) to follow. “There’s a plane waiting to take us to Camp Lehigh. Do you have luggage with you?”

She shook her head as she followed the woman. “I’m a light traveler. When you’re a lieutenant with no family you tend to have no roots in society.” (Y/n) gave Peggy a half-smile, waving away her concerned look. “I’m fine, Agent Carter. I’ve survived this long, haven’t I?”

“Indeed you have,” she said pensively. How could someone so strong have no one to rely on? The lieutenant was the first woman to hold such a high rank in the military and have so many degrees for her age. She was young, beautiful, and smart: everything a man could want. She would be expected to have a husband and kids, and yet she had no family. The woman had seemed to hold a sense of sadness as she said this, but she seemed empathetic and lively. Peggy intended to be her friend, whether (y/n) wanted her to or not. Maybe then she could find out what made her tick...

                                               ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

(Y/n) stepped into place beside Peggy as they observed the candidates. The men looked buff and ready to charge into battle, that is, all but one. The scrawny man, sorry, boy that trailed after the others seemed like he belonged in a toy wagon playing with the other children rather than Camp Lehigh. “Ready to scare them, Agent Carter?”

“Always, Lieutenant.” Peggy walked forward, revealing herself to the men. “Recruits, attention! Gentlemen, I’m Agent Carter. I supervise all operations for this division.” (Y/n) smiled serenely at them as she walked forward and stood next to the agent. “For those of you who may not know me, I am Lieutenant (l/n), the assistant supervisor for this division.”

“What’s with the accent, Queen Victoria? Thought I was signing up for the U.S. Army.” The soldier internally rolled her eyes at the remark. Men, the bane of her existence. “And what’s with this...lieutenant? Didn’t know we were letting ni-”

(Y/n) shot forward and put him into a chokehold. “I dare you to finish that sentence, soldier. I am not to be discriminated against just because my skin is darker than yours, and if such foul words are going to come from your mouth, I daresay that we should wash it out and string it up on a clothesline.” She let him go and turned to Peggy, giving her a closed-eyed smile. “Would you like to do the honors, Agent Carter?”

“Certainly, though I think you’ve scared him enough.” The agent punched him, sending him straight to the ground. “That’ll teach you to respect women and especially women of color.”

                                             ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"Faster, ladies! Come on. My grandmother has more life in her, God rest her soul. Move it!”

“You’re not really thinking about picking Rogers, are you?” Colonel Phillips walked beside Dr. Erskine and the lieutenant, frowning at them. They couldn’t possibly be thinking of picking the runt of the group for the experiment of the decade, could they?

“I am more than just thinking about it. He is the clear choice.”

“When you brought a ninety-pound asthmatic onto my army base, I let it slide. I thought, what the hell? Maybe he’ll be useful to you, like a gerbil. I never thought you’d pick him.”

“Steven has character, Colonel, something that most of our recruits don’t,” (Y/n) cut in. “Dr. Erskine is right. He is the clear choice.”

The colonel sighed as he watched Steve fail to catch up with the rest. “Look at that. He’s making me cry.”

Erskine’s thick German accent was tinged with fatigue, as if he had run a marathon. “We are looking for qualities beyond the physical.”

“Do you know how long it took to set up this project?”

“Yes, we know, Colonel--”

“All the groveling I had to do in front of Senator What’s-His-Name’s committees?”

“Brandt. And yes, we know.”

“Then throw me a bone. Hodge passed every test we gave him. He’s big, he’s fast, he obeys orders. He’s a soldier.”

“Let me stop you there,” the lieutenant held out a hand, effectively stopping him in his tracks. “Not only is Hodge racist and sexist, he is also arrogant and rude. He is a bully.”

“You don’t win wars with niceness.” He fished a grenade out of a box, holding it out so they could see. “You win them with guts.” Phillips threw the grenade at the recruits, yelling, “Grenade!” and standing by to watch.

To the trio’s amazement, Steve jumped onto the grenade, willing to sacrifice himself to save others. The two doctors looked at the colonel, each hiding a smile. “It was a dummy grenade,” he informed. “All clear. Back in formation.”

“Is this a test?”

Colonel Phillips ignored the soldier, and grumbled, “He’s still skinny.” To his chagrin, the two doctors were proven right. Steve would become the new super soldier, even though he was far too weak.

                                      ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n: this was a lot of fun to write! expect a part 2 come up in a couple days to a week! oh, and if you’d like me to create a playlist for this series, i’d love to! in the meantime, i have another special surprise~

© jades-tea-shop 2021. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[chocoluckchipz]

The Other You - 3

Read it on A03, FF.net, WattPad

< Previous

Marinette groaned loudly as a ray of light caught her eye, disturbing her sleep. She stirred lazily, slowly regaining awareness of her surroundings. Her neck was stiff from the odd position she had fallen asleep in, and she couldn’t feel her left arm after having laid her head on it all night. Eyes bleary, she groggily looked around her and barely muffled a defeated sigh upon realizing her current whereabouts.

She had fallen asleep in her office.

Again.

The night before, when she had left Chat Noir on the Eiffel Tower, she had fully intended to follow his sound advice. Heading home was definitely the sensible thing to do, considering Alya was more than likely already pissed at her for having ignored her calls all day. No use adding fuel to the fire.

But as she was swinging her yoyo from building to building, images of her cluttered office flashed before her eyes. Her desk, buried under bolts of fabric and spools of thread, the unfinished dress hanging from the mannequin, and the pile of designs waiting to be sorted and put into production.

She had worked herself to the bone for months for that first women’s line, had suffered through so many sleepless nights, had stood up to her boss so many times… This project truly was her baby, her greatest achievement yet, and she wanted everything to be as she and Gabriel had envisioned it.

So, convinced she could squeeze in a few more hours of stitching before Alya would notice her absence, she had changed directions mid-jump and headed straight back to her office. Detransforming in an alley across the street, she had let herself into the building, bid goodnight to the security guard, and snuck back into her office like she had done countless times before. She turned on all the lights in her office, took out the designs Gabriel had approved just before passing away, and got to work.

She had cut, pinned, and sewn for the better part of the night, losing herself in the passion that had become all work and no play. Exhaustion quickly caught up with her, and after pricking her fingers a few times with the needle, her head steadily began to drop, and she lost track of time.

Soon enough, the weight of reality crashed back on her, and the next thing Marinette knew, she was waking up amongst her mess, groggy and disoriented.

Her cellphone chimed on her desk, and she reached for it to check the time. Maybe, just maybe, if Tikki’s luck was still on her side, she would be able to sneak back into the apartment without waking Nino or Alya up.

As soon as the little digital screen lit up, however, Marinette instantly knew that she was utterly and perfectly screwed. Any hopes of a stealthy return home were crushed by the heavy amount of missed calls and text messages overflowing her phone.

Just her luck.

Scrolling through the messages thread, she cringed, her heart jumping into her throat. Of course there were the usual inquiries about her current whereabouts, the expected question about whether or not to save dinner for her. But where the usual follow-through was “Are you coming home at all tonight?” she instead received, “Guess I’ll have to buy my wedding dress off-the-rack.”

Her heart broke reading those words.

Panic rose in Marinette’s chest, and she blindly reached for her planner, refusing to believe the implications of said message. She almost tore the book open, finding the right page with shaky fingers. It just couldn’t have happened. Alya had to be mistaken, there had to be a huge and horrible misunderstanding.

That was the only explanation she could see. There was no way she could have forgotten that.

And yet, hastily scribbled in her own handwriting on the previous day’s page, was definite proof that she had committed an unforgivable crime against her relationship with her best friend.

9 p.m.: Design wedding dress with Alya !!! <3

Her defeated whine resonated loudly in her empty office. “Tikki! Why didn’t you remind me?”

The little kwami lifted an unimpressed gaze toward her charge. “I did, Marinette. Several times. You ignored or dismissed me every time, like you usually do when you’re working. In the end, I gave up.”

Marinette groaned, not bothering to answer the bitter jab. It was already bad enough that she had to pencil her best friend in her planner for something as important as her wedding, but she had managed to forget about it altogether. The uncanny absence of any other message after the mention of the dress was telling volumes.

Alya was not pissed.

She was utterly and completely furious with her.

Breath short, heart pounding in her ears, Marinette put away the mess of fabric on her desk as quickly as she could, not bothering to fold them correctly. She would probably curse her lack of foresight later, when she’d resume working and find herself dealing with a bunch of wrinkled and mixed up fabric, but for the time being she couldn’t bring herself to care about anything other than the friendship she had probably just destroyed.

Going home by traditional means was going to take too much time considering her jittery nerves. So, ignoring Tikki’s disapproving glare, Marinette quickly transformed and let herself out through her office window. She’d have a hard time explaining why her security badge’s log would show an “in” but no “out” if anyone was to look at her file, but that was a problem she’d have to deal with later.

For now, she just wanted to salvage what little was left of her bond with Alya.

Part of her wanted to just crawl in through her bedroom window and pretend to have been asleep the entire time, but the rational part of her brain knew Alya would never be fooled by such a weak excuse. After all, it wasn’t exactly past the blogger to have spent the night in her bed only to make sure she wouldn’t risk missing her arrival.

Reluctantly, Marinette instead settled on hiding in an empty alley to detransform and walked to the building entrance like a convict heading to their death sentence. Feet heavy with dread, she headed for the elevator, the silence only disrupted by the pounding of her heart in her chest.

When the doors opened on their floor, her breath hitched in her throat. This was it. No going back now. She messed up, and she had to face the music.

Her keys jingled loudly when she pulled them out of her purse, and the rattle of the metal when she slid the right one in the keyhole made her gasp inwardly. Marinette pushed the door open slowly, bracing herself for her impending doom.

Sure enough, Alya was sitting at the kitchen table, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her expression as her eyes landed on her friend standing awkwardly in the doorway was unreadable. Marinette twitched uncomfortably, feeling bare and vulnerable under the piercing gaze.

Gulping painfully, she hung her purse on a hook and took a few careful steps into the apartment, trying to assess the situation. She made it about three feet in before Alya’s voice, dripping with venom, stopped her dead in her tracks. “How kind of you to finally let me know you’re still alive.”

Marinette blanched, startled by the anger behind her friend’s words. “I’m sorry, Alya, I—”

“Don’t,” Alya interrupted her, holding a hand up. “I’m sick and tired of your lies and your excuses, Marinette. I can’t sit around and pretend I’m fine with you wasting your life away like that anymore.”

Deep inside, Marinette knew that it was the anger talking, and that Alya didn’t really mean to be this harsh. But she’d had a long day. She’d spent the night in an office chair and she was still feeling shaken from her encounter with Adrien. Her patience had already been wearing thin, and despite her best intentions and how much she cared about Alya and wanted to mend their weakened friendship, she couldn’t help but snap.

“Oh, because you patronizing me basically every single time I set foot in the apartment is your way of pretending you care about me? Could’ve fooled me.”

Alya’s eyes widened, and her expression shifted to something darker, sadder. She stood up, her arms still crossed in front of her in a defensive manner. “You know, I’m starting to think that maybe Adrien had it right after all.”

“Don’t you dare bring him into this. Adrien Agreste is nothing but a selfish, manipulative jerk,” Marinette snarled through clenched teeth.

“Who tried to warn us that working for his father would change you.”

Marinette backed up a few steps, looking every bit like Alya had just slapped her across the face. How dare she suggest that what Adrien had done back then was anything less than pure treason?

Swallowing the painful lump in her throat, she spat as angrily as she could, “Okay, so you’re going to pick the awful human being who didn’t even bother showing up at his own father’ s funeral over your best friend now?”

“No. I love my best friend to pieces, Marinette, but she isn’t you,” Alya answered, her fists clenched by her side. “Not anymore. She’s the kind, sweet girl that I met in middle school. The woman standing in front of me right now is nothing more than a stranger to me.”

Hurt and confusion choked Marinette, who bit back an angry sob. Her life was unravelling under her fingers, and she felt powerless. “Then why don’t you ask Adrien to be your bridesmaid while you’re at it?”

A shadow crossed Alya’s face. “You know what? Maybe I will! That way maybe my bridesmaid will actually show up!”

“Is that so?  Well, in that case, count me out!”

“GLADLY,” Alya yelled, fists clenched tight.

At first, Marinette couldn’t even answer. Words were stuck in her throat, the air was heavy, unbreathable. She knew that feeling all too well, it was the same feeling that had overcome her upon realizing Adrien was so disgusted by her confession and wanted so little to do with her that he had hidden her internship application from his father.

She was clearly unwanted.

Anger bubbled up in her chest, the rejection stinging badly. “You-you want me out of your wedding ?”

“Mari, I’m sorry. I—”

Marinette shook her head, crossing the apartment in long, harsh strides. She rushed past Alya and headed straight for the front door. “It’s pretty clear that I’m no longer wanted here,” she spat angrily, trying to ignore the tears pooling in her eyes. “I’ll be out of your hair in no time, don’t worry.”

“Mari, wait—”

"I'll send someone for my stuff later. You know, someone who won't nag me constantly and who doesn't believe Adrien isn't the biggest asshole on the planet." Grabbing her purse from the hook, she slammed the door shut behind her, ignoring her friend’s pleas.

Marinette made it back to Gabriel ’s headquarters in a dazed state with about an hour to spare before office hours, still shaken by the entire encounter. She let herself into her office through the same window she had used to exit, briefly noting that her security log wouldn’t be a problem after all. Throwing her purse in a corner of the room, she let her transformation fall and absentmindedly offered a cookie to a worried Tikki.

“Are you okay, Marinette?” came the soft voice of her littlest friend.

“I don’t know, Tikki. I…” Marinette swallowed painfully, refusing to meet her gaze. “How dare she say Adrien had been right? He selfishly tried to sabotage my career, and—”

“She’s right, though.”

The words hurt more than Marinette wanted to admit. Eyes widening, she whispered, “W-What?”

“You did change, Marinette,” Tikki said softly. “It’s up to you to figure out if it was worth it or not.”

As she slumped in her chair, landing an unimpressed gaze on the ambient clutter, Marinette suddenly felt overwhelmed by recent events. Her boss was dead. His son, whom she despised above anything else, was back in her life despite her wishes. She and her best friend were barely even on speaking terms anymore.

Emotions bubbled up in her chest and tears spilled on her cheeks, unbidden. This was not how she had envisioned her career going, much less her personal life. But she was too far gone; she had accomplished too much to back out now. If only she could salvage the line she had been working on with Gabriel, she would make a name for herself. Then maybe, just maybe, land herself a position that would actually allow her to have a life and an apartment of her own.

Gabriel had had projects for her. The upcoming women’s line had been meant as a test, an introduction of some sort into the management of an entire line. If she did well, he had promised to let her take care of the feminine branch of Gabriel on her own.

Now though, with Adrien behind the wheel of the company, her future within its walls was less than assured. It was no secret the young man loathed everything related to fashion and the Agreste name. Not a really good combo when you’re aspiring to a stellar career as a fashion designer in Gabriel Agreste’s empire.

She threw her frustration into her work, furiously sewing, cutting, and drawing the day away, barely stopping for fifteen minutes to eat a sandwich from a vending machine in the early evening. She worked until her bleary eyes couldn’t focus on her fingers anymore, until her brain refused to make the stitches remotely even.

With a loud sigh, she pushed the skirt she had been working on away and waited warily for the flow of worries and memories to come back to nag her. Shoulders hunched in defeat, she rested her head on her folded arms. This wouldn’t be the first night she’d spend in the office, and probably far from the last. As long as she didn’t figure things out, she would be stuck sleeping there, so she might as well get used to it.

Her sleep that night was restless, not bringing any soothing to her troubled mind.

Still exhausted, her patience long gone, she had half a mind to bite off the head of the rude human being who saw fit to wake her up at five a.m., unceremoniously barging into her office. The icing to the cake, though, was half-jumping out of her skin only to meet the worried gaze of none other than Adrien Agreste.

“Marinette!?”

Next >

[captain-rennie]

Fair Game Week Day 1: Flirting

Read it on Ao3 here!

Summary:

“Nice shirt, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yup. Boyfriend material.”

Gods. That was so stupid. Be still, my heart.

warnings: gratuitous amounts of gross old men flirting + some innuendos 

.

Clover was incredibly forward with Qrow, and it was going to be the death of him.

At first, he had thought he was imagining it. The winks, the friendly nudges, the warm smiles and genuine pep talks - that silky smooth honeyed voice couldn’t just be for him, could it? A grumpy old huntsman that brought nothing but misfortune to those who dared cross his path was hardly Qrow’s idea of a desired bachelor. Surely, he was only seeing what he wanted to see. There was no way a successful man like Clover had any interest in him beyond perhaps a stable friendship.

Clover’s intentions became impossible to deny, however, once Qrow had the chance to see him interact properly with others. Always polite, even casual with some, but none saw the same gentle, warm man that Qrow had known since their first meeting. Nobody got the same jokes, the motivational speeches, the reassurances, the flirting. Qrow had tried to tell himself that perhaps Clover was simply a flirty person, but it was becoming harder and harder to believe that as days and meetings went by in a blur.

He only ever spoke that way to Qrow, and Gods, Qrow had no idea what to do about it. Especially when time only made it worse. What started with a teasing lilt and cocky showing-off turned into blatant excuses to be near him and, embarrassingly enough, bold pickup lines.

It was Qrow’s own fault, of course - the flirting was far from unwelcome, and Qrow would be a liar if he said he did not want to take Clover up on those offers, but … whether he wanted to and whether he should were entirely separate issues. Of course, Clover had to know that Qrow would outright reject him if he did not want it, and only redoubled his efforts when Qrow still had not come to a decision.

It was doing nothing good for Qrow’s resolve.

Today was the worst of it, hands down, Qrow decided as he watched Clover shirk his shirt, muscles shifting tantalizingly and tanned skin glistening with sweat. So this was his newest strategy - appealing to Qrow’s thirst. Admittedly, it had been far too long since Qrow had allowed himself such things, and watching a bead of sweat roll from his neck to his chest to - to his abs, and …

Oh, Gods, Qrow was so screwed. This was just supposed to be a friendly hand-to-hand sparring match. Qrow should have known better. And Clover, damn it, stupid Clover sighed and stretched, flashing that stupid knowing smirk at Qrow.

“Hope you don’t mind,” that lovely voice said. “It just gets so hot in here!”

“Yeah,” was all Qrow had the sense to say, because at least a hot room was just as applicable of an excuse for his burning cheeks.

“Nice shirt, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yup. Boyfriend material.”

Gods. That was so stupid. Be still, my heart.

“You just took it off,” Qrow pointed out, and finally, finally it gave Clover pause, long enough for Qrow to will down his blush. But then Clover’s smile widened, and dread pooled in Qrow’s stomach, because whatever he was about to say, it was going to slaughter him.

“Ah, well. It holds me back.” Clover tossed his shirt to the side where there weapons lay discarded, delivering one of his killer winks, and continued, “Why restrict myself to boyfriend status, y'know? I can be so much more.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be kicking your ass right about now?” Qrow said loudly, seconds away from melting into a little puddle, and Clover, the bastard, saw right through him. But finally, he relented, raising his fists.

“Bold of you to assume I won’t lay you flat in seconds,” he challenged with a grin, and Qrow mimicked his stance.

“Yeah, cause you had great luck last time,” Qrow snorted as they circled each other, recalling the last two rounds where he had managed to get Clover to tap out. But Clover quirked that stupid eyebrow, and Qrow was suddenly far less confident about his prior wins.

“In a game of luck,” he said, “you know who’ll come out on top.”

Entirely unwilling to dwell a second longer on the connotations of tops (and bottoms), Qrow took the first swing.

With a laugh that told Qrow his opponent had already won, Clover leaned to the side to dodge the first punch, and widened his stance and bent his knees to avoid being swept by the kick Qrow aimed at his legs. The next kick was aimed high, coming into hard contact with Clover’s forearms, but the other man shook it off easily. The next punch was caught in a large hand, and as Clover took the opportunity to grasp his other wrist and tug him close, Qrow knew he was done for.

With a turn and a kick to his calves so quick Qrow hardly processed it, he was thrown down, his back hitting the ground hard. The air was knocked out of his lungs with a rather unceremonious oof, and Qrow let his head fall back onto the floor, watching Clover crack his knuckles proudly with a pout.

“All good down there?” was the smug victory statement, and Qrow coughed out something akin to a laugh.

“All good,” he replied. “Not the first time you’ve taken my breath away.”

He wasn’t sure what compelled him to say it. He hadn’t been the smooth-talking kind since he was in school. Perhaps the lack of air in his lungs took oxygen from his brain, and that loosened his tongue. It was the only explanation he could think of for saying something so stupid, oh Gods, why did I say that -

But it was worth it. So worth it, because when Qrow dared to look up to where he was positive he would see a shit-eating grin, there were only wide eyes and slightly parted lips. Qrow watched with fascination as a hint of pink grew on Clover’s cheeks, then spread to his nose, then his ears as the man quickly raised a hand to cover his mouth. Qrow sat up, quirking an eyebrow.

“All good?” he echoed, a little unsure, and Clover averted his gaze, looking incredibly nervous.

“I … ah.” His voice was quieter than the bold tone from before, almost uncharacteristically so. “That … I didn’t expect that.”

“Oh?” Qrow couldn’t help the familiar smirk he felt tugging at the corners of his lips, and he rested back casually on one hand. “You can dish it out, but you can’t take it?”

“Don’t say it,” Clover warned as he offered a hand to help Qrow stand. Qrow took it, and then some, daring to lean in closer than perhaps he should have.

“I wonder if that’s reflective of … other situations we might find ourselves in?”

The flush had quickly spread to consume Clover’s entire face, which he covered with both hands, positively steaming as he took a step back. “Shut up,” he groaned. “I’m not - it’s been weeks! I didn’t expect you to - to - !”

“You did all that flirting thinking I wasn’t gonna say something back?” Qrow asked, raising a skeptical brow, and boy did it feel good to be on the opposite end of things for once. He’d missed this - being the cool, collected one while the object of his affections spluttered and stumbled for words. He could sure get used to it again.

“Well, I - you didn’t seem the type?”

Qrow had to laugh at that, fond memories resurfacing of the times he was, in fact, the type. “You should have seen me in my Beacon days,” he said. “I have plenty of raunchy stories to contradict that observation.”

Clover seemed to be calming somewhat from his embarrassment, and set his hands on his hips with faux sass. “You think I want to hear about all the other men you wooed?”

Qrow’s grin turned sly, and he closed the distance between them again, practically nose-to-nose this time when he said, “I’ll just have to make new stories, then, hm?”

Clover spluttered, cheeks practically glowing pink, and it took Qrow a few minutes to stop laughing that time. It felt good to have his confidence back, and especially to use it on as lovely a cause as embarrassing his crush.

Clover had a lot to answer for, after all, and for the next few weeks, answer for it he did. This time, though, they got to share a few cute kisses amongst all the flirting, and it made the payback quite worth it.

[vins-oc-hell]

oops I wrote another thing and now it's canon in Pasquelle's backstory (featuring Syngorn-typical racism and soft Sylralei fam)

Pasquelle awoke from a fitful pity-nap to a soft ‘woof’ from her doorway. Fuck. Siofra only woke her like that when there was someone at the door. With a groan, she rolled out of bed and threw on a shabby, oversized flannel shirt for decency’s sake.

That decision came back to bite her in the ass almost immediately, when she opened the door to see a very official-looking messenger holding a thick envelope.

“Highmarshall Sylralei is at work,” she said automatically, “I can take a message.”

“Actually,” the messenger said, gaze flitting briefly over Pasquelle’s one exposed ear, “I am here for Ms. Pasquelle Sylralei.”

“Uh… right.” What could they want with her? She hadn’t done anything illegal, right? At least not where someone could see? Her hand twitched with the impulse to part her undercut so it would cover both sides of her head. Conceal those damn ears that everyone just loved to stare at. She didn’t.

“Well, you’ve found her.” Pasquelle gave an exaggerated bow. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Whatever she was expecting to hear, it was not what followed.

“A message from the Bureau of Immigration regarding your appeal.” The elf handed her the envelope and, without further ado, gave a slight nod and walked away.

Twenty years. Twenty years since father filed my application. Why now? She clutched the envelope like it might vanish, completely dumbstruck. Of course, it was probably just another rejection. But why then would the package be so thick?

Father found her like that hours later, curled up in a ball on the couch, staring warily at the still-unopened envelope.

“Songbird?”

She relaxed a little as he wrapped her in a tight hug. Citizenship appeal, Pasquelle signed, open it with me? Erlan set aside his cloak, bow, and quiver before joining her on the couch, letting her lean against his side. He steadied her shaking hands as she lifted the envelope and broke through the wax seal. Inside was an immense amount of informational paperwork, an identification card with her likeness on it, and a brief note with the seal of the Wardens stamped at the bottom.

“This letter hereby certifies Pasquelle Sylralei as a citizen of the elven city-state of Syngorn. No further hearings are required. Witnessed, Lawmaster Braern Quiven, Bureau of Immigration”

Pasquelle reread the note no less than six times, hardly daring to believe it was real. But no, father saw it too--his hands were now trembling as well.

“Why now?” she breathed. “We haven’t had an update in years; why now?” A sudden thought struck her. Gods, she hoped it wasn’t that, but why else would they suddenly bother?

“Dad--”

“Hmm?” She turned to see silent tears streaming down her father’s face, but he smiled encouragingly at her to continue.

“I think I made it to the finals.” Those results wouldn’t be announced until tomorrow, but the auditions had technically wrapped up today. It made her sick to consider that the two might be related.

Erlan merely looked puzzled.

“Congratulations, my darling, but how is this--” he trailed off, face falling. “Just to be clear,” he murmured, “you think you were only approved for citizenship because they didn’t want a non-citizen making the finals of the concerto competition.”

“That seems the only logical explanation.” Pasquelle kept her voice cold and neutral. “I suppose that means I have achieved my goal of being so talented that they can’t ignore me.”

“You deserve better than this,” father whispered, running a thumb across her cheek to wipe away the few tears she couldn’t hold back. She finally broke, curling up against his chest with a sob. They both huddled together and cried for a while, as they always did. Nothing simply good could ever happen to them, it seemed.

“Thank you,” Pasquelle mumbled a while later, as the now-setting sun illuminated the living room with a fiery glow. “For fighting for me all these years. It-- it feels hollow, now, but it still could not have happened without you giving them hell about it constantly.”

Erlan kissed her forehead gently, running his scarred fingers through her mop of curly hair in the way that always rapidly put her to sleep.

“Sweetheart, I will never stop fighting for you.” He took in a shuddering breath before continuing. “I wish it didn’t happen this way, but… I’m glad this is over. They can’t take it back from you; not without causing a massive scandal. Your rights are your own, now.”

Pasquelle smiled weakly. Guess I can worry about the competition tomorrow, she signed, before letting herself be lulled off into a much more restful sleep.

[blissedoutphil]

Dan The Personal Assistant Part 9

Dan has to submit an application video to be an assistant for a company President, Mr. Lester. But what happens when he accidentally sends a wrong video?

2874 words of Dom!Phil, sub!dan, smut

I guess one good thing about this corona virus pandemic is that I finally have some free time off work to write again omg. Hope yall are doing okay in these uncertain times, here’s a long overdue chapter finally!!

~ Part 8 ~

~Part 10~

or read on ao3!

Dan came in early the next day. He helped to tidy up the mess on his boss’s desk that was left and prepared his drink as usual. He felt a slight buzz of excitement and anticipation, not knowing what his boss would do now. Now that they’ve taken a step up in their relationship and had sex. He almost couldn’t believe it happened at all, but the stretch in his bum served as a reminder that it was indeed real. He’d gone home trying his best not to walk side to side, with his head in the clouds and butterflies in his stomach.

He hoped that Phil wouldn’t freak and draw a line between them again. But he could never guess with his boss; the man was unpredictable.

-----

Phil had a rather sleepless night. There was a small but persistent thought from the back of his mind that there was only one thing that could help him sleep, and that was to have someone next to him in bed. A warm and calm presence that would hug him tight. And not just anyone.

He’d spent the night thinking about his assistant. He couldn’t get him out of his mind, from the feeling of touching his soft skin to the sound of his sweet moans. Could this even be considered as love or even a crush, or was he just a disgusting man who can’t stop lusting?

He didn’t know where to go from here. But he knew that he didn’t regret his actions. In fact he wished he’d done it earlier. He thought it could be an exaggeration, but it honestly felt like a privilege that Dan allowed him to have sex with him.

-------

He trudged his way to his office, and was thankful to be greeted by the scent of his usual coffee ready for him.

“Morning, Sir!” Dan couldn’t quite stop his face from beaming as his boss entered the room.

“You’re rather cheery this morning,” Phil found his boy’s smile to be contagious as his lips perked up as well.

“Mmm guess I had a good night’s sleep,” Dan purred as he inched his way closer to Phil’s chair.

“I bet you did,” Phil chuckled, and ruffled Dan’s hair when the boy was within reach.

“Do you...need anything before you start the day, Sir?” Dan said suggestively.

Phil seemed to consider for a moment, before he took a sip of his coffee.

“It’s alright, pet.”

Dan tried not to look disappointed.

“Thank you for helping to clear my desk, though, what a good boy I have,” Phil added cheekily to rid Dan of his pout.

He giggled at how Dan’s cheeks turned pink instead.

------

Dan knew he shouldn’t be expecting things to turn 180 degrees just because they’ve had sex once. Obviously Phil couldn’t drop his work to spend all day fucking him, he knew that. He was hired mostly as a stress reliever, not a distraction. But Dan will be damned if he continued denying himself of what he now knows as the best sex he could possibly have, and that’s saying a lot since he’s had a lot of sex with different people in his life.

Perhaps it was because he’d never loved any of his fuckbuddies this way before.

He left his boss alone to do his work undisturbed for most of the morning, until it was almost lunchtime.

“I can help order in something for lunch,” he offered, which Phil was grateful for as he had too much work to focus on to even think about food.

“What do you want to have?”

Phil side-eyed his boy, who’d crawled over to sit on his heels right by his knee. He squinted at those big brown eyes staring up at him. He sounded a bit too suggestive for the question to be just an innocent one.

“That Mexican place again is fine for me,” he replied blankly, half hoping that Dan wouldn’t continue whatever it was his mind was planning.

The boy got busy for a a minute ordering on his phone, but he was quick and was by his side again in no time.

“You should take a break, Sir, it’s lunchtime after all,” Dan purred, gently putting his hands on his boss’s shoulders and beginning to massage him.

Boy’s getting brave, Phil thought. He still had a small part of him afraid to take things further, but in that moment, with his boy expertly soothing out the tensions in his shoulders, he decided that if he can’t take the lead, maybe he’ll let Dan do it and see where he takes them instead.

So Phil leaned back in his seat and allowed himself to be immersed in the massage.

Dan was stood behind Phil’s chair, and he contemplated his next moves while kneading the knots out of Phil’s shoulders. He wanted so badly a repeat of the previous day, as desperate as it seemed. And he really was desperate enough that in this moment, he was over being shy or scared anymore. But he knew that he had to be careful in how to get what he wanted.

“So many knots,” he commented, “you need to relax more, you’re so stressed all the time.”

“Well thanks for helping me relax,” Phil murmured as he sunk further in his seat, closing his eyes and allowing himself to stop worrying about work for a bit.

“It’s what I’m here for, aren’t I?” Dan chuckled.

“Mmm,” Phil hummed in agreement.

“I can help you relax in other ways,” Dan suggested quietly, his hands on the back of Phil’s neck slowing down.

“And what would that be?” Phil asked, wanting to see how far Dan could take things.

Dan was rather nervous, unsure if Phil would be okay with him making a move. Phil was usually the one who initiated their play. But he took Phil’s question as a green light.

So he slowly walked around the chair to straddle his boss.

Phil looked up at Dan in what Dan thought was surprise and amusement, but there was no rejection, so Dan decided that he’d just go for it today.

He slowly sat on Phil’s lap, holding onto Phil’s shoulders for balance and maintaining eye contact despite feeling his heart go wild with nerves. Phil’s hands landed gently on his waist, fitting perfectly there as if they were made to mould together. His blue eyes staring up at him were inquisitive, as if waiting to see what he’d do next.

“Use me again,” Dan whispered.

Phil could feel Dan’s breath against his lips as he spoke.

“Yeah?” Phil’s grip on his waist tightened, and it felt like deja vu for both of them.

“Please,” Dan blushed, biting on his bottom lip as his gaze flickered between his boss’s eyes and lips.

Dan swallowed thickly. He’s had enough of waiting. In that moment, he couldn’t care less if he’d be thrown out and jobless the next day. It would drive him crazy if he had to stop himself from having just a taste of what’s right in front of him, mere centimetres apart, yet again.

Before he could second guess himself again, he closed the gap between them. His heart was pounding and it felt like time had stopped, but it was a mere peck on Phil’s lips.

His eyes fluttered back open just as quickly as they’d closed. He licked his own lips, feeling the lingering pressure of that one second of pure bliss of Phil’s lips against his. It was the lightest and quickest kiss he’s ever had, yet the most intimate one he’s ever felt.

Phil was looking back at Dan in surprise. At the back of his mind, he sort of always knew that Dan would be the one to break and make the first move before he could even dare to think of doing it, yet he still couldn’t quite believe what had just occured.

The butterflies in Dan’s stomach were having a riot, and his mind was racing with thoughts, mostly afraid that Phil would be angry with him for crossing some line. Besides the mild surprise on his face, Phil hadn’t done or said anything and Dan had no idea what Phil could possibly be feeling. It was probably only a few seconds but it felt like they were both sat in quiet shock for ages.

The silence caused Dan to grow anxious, and he had to break it before it got too much for him.

“I’m sorr-”

Before Dan could even let his words out, Phil had lunged forward to kiss Dan again. It was as if a switch in his mind finally clicked, and now all he could think of is that there is nothing more he wanted in the world in this moment than to kiss his boy. There hasn’t been anything more he wanted in a while.

Dan was taken aback, his eyes going wide for a second as he registered what was happening before shutting them again. Phil wasn’t holding back, his lips pressed hard against Dan’s and he started licking at Dan’s lips to get him to open up for him. Dan held onto Phil’s shoulders as he felt himself being pushed backwards by Phil’s sheer force.

Dan opened his mouth, letting Phil in to dominate the kiss. Phil tasted of the coffee he made in the morning, and his lips fit perfectly with Dan’s.

Phil refused to let his mind convince him that this is a bad idea. He didn’t care, not right now anyways. Not when Dan tasted so sweet, sounded so eager with his little breathy whines. All he could focus on was Dan, his weight on his lap and his hands gripping his shoulders for dear life. Not that Dan would fall if he let go of his shoulders when Phil’s own hard grip on Dan’s waist was bound to leave marks.

Phil never wanted to break the kiss. His other hand fit firmly around the back of Dan’s neck to keep him there. He bit on Dan’s bottom lip, and his cock twitched at the sound of Dan’s whimper.

He finally let go of Dan when he really needed air. They both panted, still fuzzy and in slight disbelief of what just happened.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Phil uttered as he hastily unzipped his pants while Dan reached behind himself to get the lube out of the desk drawer.

They were both feeling too impatient to take their time doing proper preparations. They drizzled some lube onto their fingers and Phil quickly slicked up his cock while Dan stuck two fingers into himself.

“’m ready,” Dan said almost immediately, not wanting to waste another second.

“You sure?”

He honestly still felt stretched from the sex they had yesterday, and didn’t feel the need to prep any more. He liked to feel the sting anyway. He nodded frantically, getting lube on Phil’s suit as he gripped Phil’s shoulder.

“Ride me, then,” Phil ordered, a little breathlessly.

Dan lifted his hips, both hands on Phil’s shoulders to steady himself, Phil’s hands on his hips guiding him.

In one smooth movement, he sat all the way down on his boss’s cock, and both moaned in sync. Phil dug his nails into his boy’s soft skin at his hips, keeping him still as he started thrusting up into the boy.

Dan threw his head back and moaned. It felt so good, and he felt even more full being in this position compared to their time yesterday. Dan was sure that the marks he’d have on his hips would be similar to those he’d leave on Phil’s shoulders.

Phil watched his boy’s reactions to his short hard thrusts up into his ass. His boy’s pale neck looked so tempting all exposed as his head was thrown back, so he let go of one side of Dan’s hips to grip at the back of Dan’s neck instead and bring him closer to his mouth. He relished in the way Dan groaned when he sunk his teeth into his neck.

“C’mon,” Phil grunted in between sucking hickeys, encouraging Dan to ride him.

Phil stopped thrusting his hips so Dan had to start moving. Dan started a pace of bouncing on his boss’s lap, moaning uncontrollably as Phil’s mouth moved lower onto his collarbone and upper chest.

Once Phil had had a taste, he couldn’t stop. Dan’s skin felt so tender and soft against his lips and he wanted to decorate every inch of it with marks. He’d wanted to do it since the first time Dan undressed for him.

Phil had to reluctantly stop kissing Dan’s skin though, only because he had to remind his boy of where they were, and that people might hear him. 

When he was satisfied with the hickeys he’d given, he sat back and decided to let Dan put all the effort and just enjoy the show.

Dan felt himself blush hard as he noticed that Phil was no longer focused on marking his skin, instead just sitting back and gazing up at him with a little smile on his face. He felt a little exposed, seeing as Phil was still fully clothed. His thighs trembled with the effort as he continued bouncing on Phil’s lap. He clenched his ass and rolled his hips as he rode his boss, making his boss groan lowly.

Phil admired the red marks he’d decorated all over his boy’s neck and collarbones. He moaned deep as his boy squeezed around his cock. He loved how his boy was looking all shy and innocent, cheeks pink while behaving the total opposite as he bounced on his lap. His cock was leaking precum, standing between both their stomachs.

Phil leaned back into his seat further, changing his position just a bit, but enough for his cock to hit Dan’s prostate directly. It sent Dan’s eyes rolling back, and he bit his lip to stifle his loud moan. He ground down harder on his boss’s cock.

Phil wrapped his hand loosely at the head of Dan’s cock. Dan whined, needing more friction on his shaft. But Phil simply smirked cheekily, not moving his hand lower.

“Fuck into my hand to get yourself to come, yeah that’s it,” Phil instructed, so Dan had to move almost all the way off of Phil’s cock for his own cock to receive a stroke from Phil’s hand.

Dan’s body sheened with sweat as he repeated the movements of sitting almost all the way up to get jerked off by Phil, then moving back down to sit fully on Phil’s cock. He was panting and grunting, but the pleasure was worth the workout.

It felt amazing for Phil, and he didn’t even need to do anything but sit there and admire his boy hard at work to pleasure both of them. His other hand snaked up to Dan’s chest and started tugging on one nipple.

Dan whimpered at all the sensations. He slumped his forehead onto his hand on Phil’s shoulder as he sped up his movements, feeling his orgasm approaching quicker with every time his prostate was pressed against as he sat down on Phil’s cock, every time Phil’s hand squeezed his shaft as he sat up, every time Phil pinched and twisted his nipples.

“Gonna come, Sir,” he told Phil breathlessly.

“Don’t you get a drop on my suit,” Phil warned, but he started jerking Dan off earnestly.

Dan whimpered and whined as Phil started thrusting his hips again, helping him reach his orgasm.

“Gonna-” 

Dan was interrupted by Phil’s lips pressed against his once again. Just as Phil’s tongue slipped between his lips, he came. He felt Phil aim his dick to spurt onto his own stomach, the same time he felt his heart burst with emotions he couldn’t even comprehend in the moment. Phil started groaning into his mouth, and he felt warm liquid fill his ass up too. 

They kissed each other through their orgasms until they both calmed down. Dan was panting when Phil finally broke the kiss. He could feel Phil’s hand still wrapped loosely around his softening dick, so he looked down to see the mess he’d spilled onto Phil’s hand and his stomach.

He smiled cheekily as he took Phil’s wrist, “Didn’t get any on your suit.”

Phil chuckled as he watched his boy lick his own cum off his fingers. “You’re a cheeky little cumslut, aren’t you?”

Dan answered by sucking Phil’s thumb, swirling his tongue around the digit in his mouth while blinking at him innocently, and he felt Phil’s dick still in his ass twitch.

“Hope you’re more relaxed now,” Dan winked as he moved off of his boss’s lap.

He excused himself and went straight into the bathroom to silently squeal at the fact that he finally finally kissed Phil, staying in there until their food came.

Phil was rather glad that Dan hid himself in the bathroom, because he needed time alone to process what happened too. But for once, he never had conflicting thoughts or any negativity creeping into his mind about how things could fall apart. In fact, for the first time, he was convinced that everything would be alright between them.

----------

~Part 8~

~Part 10~

I know it’s not much after disappearing for ages but hey!! they finally kissed!! ＼(>o<)ノ

[fishcakedoodles]

Love Viruses

Words: 1.645

Rating: K+ (I think? If I get it wrong let me know!)

Pairing: NaruHina, mention of SasuSaku and SaiIno

College AU

I got inspired by this post, precisely the 4th point, and I felt the need to put my idea down.

This is my first ever writing in English I publish online. I've never been really good at English writing, always made a lot of mistakes (as for a foreign language: this is not my native tongue). I hope this will be appreciated by someone anyway.

I try, during almost 2 months, to fix any grammar error and make the story more flowing, but I reached the point of can't recognise any mistake nor possible fixing anymore. I'm sorry if it's a little cracky.

If anybody has grammar corrections, suggestions and explanation about why I get wrong some part (about English), I would be really happy to know them :)

______________________________________

It happened again.

She hoped her little sister would have learnt the lesson last time. It was the seventh time Hanabi downloaded those daft games from the internet, causing her computer to crash, and this is the fourth times in a week she need to go to the IT department in order to fix her problem.

Not that is something completely unwelcomed.

Indeed, there is a silver lining in this situation that she would never have expected.

There is a student into his second year, who helped her the first time she came searching for some kind-hearted soul, and she got stricken by him. His big, warm and charming smile disoriented her so much that she couldn't thank him properly, she just managed to shyly nod after he fixed her laptop and almost stumbled into the many cables on the floor in the process to run away. She felt so embarrassed she would rather run naked in the campus courtyard than see him again. But fate had never been on her side.

The following times, at least, she got by with a murmured "thank you", looking down at her feet, and paired with the reddest face she ever reached. However, the blond boy have always been really gentle and sympathetic, and her response seemed to be enough for him all the time, because he displayed others of his majestic smiles, turning her mute again every time. She would never think someone could make you fall this hard just with a grin, nevertheless here she is.

Thus, this time, the fourth she got to visit him in just one week, she must manage to say something more to him, not just "laptop", "virus", "sister" nor a simple "thank you".

She must be resolved.

When she get to the IT room, where he usually would be, she start to doubt herself. N-no! I can handle it, I promise myself to not run away anymore! Brace yourself Hinata, you can do it. She lecture herself, an habit developed during many years of shyness and self doubt, and after a few more seconds she knock on the door.

Just when her last knock ended, the personification of the sun open with a smile ear to ear"Hey Hinata!". She already feel the heat rise up to her face "H-hello Naruto-kun" she said, looking down to her feet.

"Another virus?"

"Uhm" she nod with a light blush onto her cheeks. Stop blushing! Stay focused! "I'm sorry to disturb you one more time Naruto-kun"

"Don't worry! It happens a lot, especially if you share your computer with other people." He said with is kind voice.

"Yeah, I think that is true."

"Let's check it, can I?" he offers his hand to her, obviously asking for her laptop, but she only stares at it, dreaming to hold it right away.

Perhaps she stared for too long, because sapphire eyes are looking at her, puzzled, and maybe a little worried?She come to her senses, ashamed for her rude behaviour "O-oh! Y-yes, s-s-sorry, I didn't mean to. I-I was spacing out." Stop stutter!

"Yeah don't worry! It happens to me a lot too!" and he beams even more fiercely than before, making him look like a happy fox.

She totally have the hots for him.

She gave him her case, hoping her hold habit to tremble when nervous don’t show up.

When the computer has turned on, he race his fingers on the keyboard, rapidly looking all folders and applications through. She watch him make his magic to fix her device, and she is enchanted by his skills, bewitched by his efficiency and precision. It is—

It is a strangled moan that take her out from her thoughts.

High, choked, sexual noise which reminds too much that english rock band her sister used to listen when she attended middle school.

If only her seat could swallow her all, she would be happier than being here in this awkward moment.

Even if his fingers fly over the keyboard, all the process seem to flow in slow motion to her, buttons too heavy to come up quickly. Few seconds, more similar to hours, passed, and finally the boy closed all banners and cancelled all viruses in her laptop.

She would never, EVER lend it to her sister again.

Once done with the cleaning, Naruto appear unquestionably troubled by the actual situation, and she can empathise with that. She can feel the uncertainty, the fear, the worry for any possible motion.

And so she decided to move.

In one fluid gesture, she stand up, take the PC without put it in its case, and try to make a run for it, only to be caught off guard by a big hand on her harm. She turn, wide eye seek the reason for this action, and she attempt to find an excuse, an apology, to leave soon as possible in order to avoid any more mortification.

But he speak first, and what he vocalise is not closely what she anticipated

"I wanted to ask you out today. I planned to do it after I fixed your laptop, because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if you wanted to reject me… I wanted to ask it last time, and the time before too.. but I couldn’t find the right words and– Maybe you’re thinking I’m a pervert by asking you out right after what happened, but really! I-I’m not that kind of guy, believe it! You’ll find out it if we hang out! If it make you feel more at ease you can make a friend come with us.”

When his babbler stopped, she couldn’t do anything but gawks at him, speechless. He take it as a bad sign evidently, because his immediate reaction is to draw back his hand from her wrist and look away.

This is like a dream, something she hoped to, but never dared to expect. This is the perfect occasion, the perfect turn of events to accomplish what she desired to do since he came into her life.

And she's letting it slip through her fingers.

When she finds the courage to utter her thoughts, a male voice speak with her

"Maybe this was–"

"I'd like to."

"...Really?"

"..Yes." she says softly with a small smile and rosy cheeks. When her answer completely settle in his mind, a light pinky dust color his face.

------------------------------------------------------------

“Konohamaru.”

“Mh?” the dark haired boy respond lazily, while dusky eyes looked up from their position to meet sapphirine ones.

Really enraged sapphirine ones.

“What’s the problem, Naruto nii-san?”

“Can you explain me how those porn viruses we created for Ero-sennin lesson end up in Hyuga’s personal computer?” he try to sound commanding, but ended with an acute voice on the ‘Hyuga’ that almost make Konohamaru laugh, but he manage to control himself.

“Which”

Naruto look at him, a little bit of the anger slipping from his eyes, and he ask completely perplexed “Which what?”

"Which Hyuga. Because, you know, there's three of them we met, so I can't know which one you're talking about"

At this Naruto look taken aback, and a faint blush appears on his face. "Well.. the female one."

Purposefully horrified, Konohamaru sputter "Nii-san, I didn't think you would be such a perv…"

"... What?"

"I know Hanabi is really cute and all, but you are quite old–"

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT HANABI" and he's not 'old'!

"... Oooh." A sly grin comes into the dark haired boy's face "do you mean… That Hyuga?" He says, with his pinky finger up. "The elder one? The one you're speaking about lately? The one with that undoubtedly nice big boo–"

"DON'T YOU DARE" Naruto shout out with a deafening voice, smacking forcefully the young man on his head. "Ouch!! That's hurt!" He whined, scratching his nape, "I didn't thought you'd be so caught by her in just 3 times.."

"To…To be accurate, this was the seventh time I've seen her."

"Oh, seventh?" the hitted boy say "I didn't track how many time I did that."

There is an heavy silence, tension hanging in the air. His observation was more a self speaking, but maybe he did it too loud, because after other few more seconds the blonde senior utter "So you DO are involved into this."

With no more escape from this situation, Konohamaru look sheepishly anywhere but Naruto, and only say "...Ups?"

"YOU put those stupid viruses on Hinata's laptop, didn't you?" The senior boy demand with an abrupt tone, not wanting to buy a shit from the younger man.

"Why the fuck did you do that?!" he finally shout out, is anger not in check anymore.

"BECAUSE YOU TWO WERE HOPELESS. You were dancing around each other for weeks, and we get sick of ear you two complain about it."

With a suspicious glare and an hesitant voice, the Uzumaki ask "...'We'? Who else is involved into this?"

And the other start blather "Well... Hanabi.."

"Of course she's involved–"

"And Sasuke and Sakura.."

"....."

"And Sai and Ino. Precisely, this was their idea."

"WHAT?!"

"They attended that class of Jiraiya with our 'exhibition'.. they thought it would've been a fruitful way to push you two together. Personally, I've always thought those two guys are fearfully twisted."

"... I can't believe they all are implicated. This was a terrible idea of yours"

"Well, it seems this terrible idea of ours worked, didn't it?"

"...."

"Didn't it?"

"I'm too mad at you to talk you about that." Naruto pouted, and is in time like this that Konohamaru feels like he's the adult one, not the other way round.

But he's too curious to let his pride mess things up.

"So, when do you two hang out?"

"...on Friday. We'll go to get a ramen and then–"

"Shit! I owe Sasuke 50 bucks."

"... You bet if I would get a date with her?!"

"That, and where you'd go on your first dinner together."

".... I hate you. All of you."

Fin.

[universal-kitty]

“What am I to you?” + ur edgiest f/o??

❤ ▬▬ emotional starters to kick you in the feelings.

   This was the usual by now. Ichimatsu would leave home to feed the neighborhood strays- as per usual- and, somewhere along the way, meet up with Rachel, who’d join him and give love to the cats that flocked among them... When not making some of them sour at them, as they often brought healthy things with them. Like some sort of...application that would help kill fleas and such. 

   Nice of a thing to do for these domestic strays, but it always made him frown. They always let themselves get hurt if it meant helping som- a cat. Wincing in pain at the scatches, frowning at the yowls and hisses, but always smiling at the end of it, happy that the cat got some treatment... No matter how long it’d last the stray. (As, just like the both of them, the cats were bound to get into trouble sooner or later.)

   ...It was almost uncomfortable to see. Because he saw himself in these cats...and Rachel as, well...themself. Always so caring and kind and gentle. Forgiving, even when the cats were mad at them for having be messed with. Patient and willing to show kindness to such grumpy kitties all over again, to win back their trust and have them purring against them in no time flat.

   It felt like...how they were with him. He, too, was an angry cat. He’d say mean things, not accept their compliments, and constantly say the opposite things of what he really meant. Better to shoo Rach off then let them dig a deeper hole, stuck with someone as disgusting and loathesome as him.

   They deserved better and he wouldn’t let them get stuck with him.Even as he wonders...if it’s okay to do that. Is it really okay to let such kindness go? Even if he doesn’t deserve it?

   It’s what was bothering him today, even. Snacks bought for them both (by Rachel, since...he’s still a NEET), cats being fed, and others resting in their laps. A tortie kitten was in Rachel’s lap, while Ichimatsu’s lap was primarily hogged by a tuxedo cat, but others hovered around, like the ever-hovering ESP Kitty. (Though he kept the cat away, just in case he started spilling any secrets.)

   They’d been pretty focused on the kitten, eyes gentle and rather motherly, when not flicking up to take stock of the cats eating, to Ichimatsu (who would quickly pretend he hadn’t been staring at them), and then back to the kitten. Purring in delight, a stray tamed by a gentle hand with very short nails... Perhaps they’d been biting them earlier in the week? He wouldn’t put it past Rachel to do so, what with their anxiety and all.

   ...He certainly wasn’t alone on that. A comforting thought, though fleeting. Someone as good and pretty as Rachel didn’t deserve such a horrible person around them like he is. (Right? Isn’t that right? So why does the thought of pushing them away hurt, too...?)

   He barely notices when they look up at him, innocence still in their dark green eyes. A small smile on their lips... How soft would they be? Would they be okay with the thoughts he’s had about them...? Would such disgusting thoughts ruin him to Rachel forever or would he dare try believing that maybe--?

   “Heh, what are you looking at Ichima-?”

   “What am I to you?” He asked, tone harsher than he meant to, catching Rachel off guard. Making them flinch. (His gut swirled in regret, rejection bubbling up into a sick feeling.)

   “What...?” They straightened up, brows furrowing together as he looked away, staring instead at the slowly approaching ESP Kitty. (Don’t you dare, you little shit.) “What do you mean? Where did this come from?”

  “I... You...” Ichimatsu sucked in air through his teeth, focusing on the short sound of it instead of the patient ESP Kitty staring at him. At the eyes of his crush looking at him, lost and hurt. Confused at his words, ones that had no context and left them lost in a sea of anxieties. “I just want to know. Before you go off giving me ideas.”

   “Idea-?”

   “You know what you’re doing to me!!!” He roared, scaring off most of their feline company, including the kitten in Rachel’s lap. Scared, ESP Kitty still hovered close, fur fluffing up in caution. Their eyes were so wide with shock, staring up at him with fear...but also more confusion.

   “I-I.... I don’t...understand.....” Tears gathered in their eyes, and Ichimatsu faltered at the sight, expression dropping into one of heartbreak and pain. “I...I don’t... What am I doing? I just wanted to be f-friends with y-you, but..... I don’t mean to make you h-hurt, Ichimatsu...!” His jaw was dropped, fear growing in his chest...especially as they struggled to stand up. “I.... I can go-”

   “NO!!!” Ichimatsu lunged for their sleeve faster than he ever thought he could move, eyes wide and desperate for them not to leave. No... No, no, no, nonono- He’s wrong, he’s sorry, but how does he say that?! Especially to such a heart-wrenching expression like the one Rachel had on their face....

   He looked down to an equally sad ESP Kitty, sighing and letting go of their sleeve... Sitting back down, and gently scooping the cat into his arms, cradling the cat there. Though seemingly nervous at first, ESP Kitty was quick to warm up to his friend again, soon looking like he had a little smile all over again.

   “The truth is, I care about you a lot,” ESP Kitty said, Ichimatsu glancing up in time to see her eyes widen with shock, jaw dropping as the cat spoke! “In fact, I care about you so much, it’s scary to me. I think pushing you away will keep you safe, but I also don’t want to be alone, after knowing your friendship.”

   “...Ichi...?” Rachel slowly sat back down, this time on their legs, hands on their knees as they looked between him and ESP Kitty uncertainly. He’d explain it after this, but...right now, his heart was beating wildly. Honestly, he was pretty sure that if he tried to explain what was going on, he might die. (Or get horrible stomach pains again, so. Either wasn’t a pleasant idea.)

   “You make my heart race,” the cat continued. “I’ve never felt so strongly about someone before... That’s what love is, isn’t it?” Ichimatsu’s face burned as he pointedly looked away, Rachel staring at him with a blush growing over their face. “I feel like I’m not worth your time or attention or kindness...but you’re the person I love the most. Equal to cats~!

   “Ah...but is that kind of love from someone like me okay? You deserve better, don’t you? Can I be someone worth your time? A NEET like me...?” Ichimatsu looked back just in time to see Rachel close, unconsciously leaning forward to the two. W-Within....kissing distance......

    “...Rachel, I love you,” Ichimatsu and ESP Kitty say at the same time, seeming to stop time in that little alleyway they’ve been tucked into all the while. The quite after that confession is deafening, but somehow...feels a little less nerve-wracking? Maybe because- despite the surprise- they don’t seem as scared or disgusted as Ichimatsu always imagined they’d be....

   .......Well, until the silence kept dragging on. Then he started getting worried.

   “L-Look, you don’t have to be-”

   “I-I love you, too.” Ichimatsu froze. Stared at their knees. Then to Rachel’s face.

   “............Ah?”

   “Ichi....I’ve liked you all this time,” they confessed, laughing a little as tears rose back in their eyes. “You silly... I thought you could actually do better than me!! I’m not much, you know.... If anything, I’m pretty plain.”

   “You’re gorgeous! How could you say that about yourself when I’m the plain piece of garbage?! Your kindness, your love of cats... You’re way better than a NEET like me deserves.”

   “Wh-What?! Ichi, I used to be a NEET before I moved to Japan! I only got out of that because I wanted to move here so badly....and I got to meet you because of that... Being a NEET isn’t all bad, ‘long as you can figure out what you want to do someday.” They hesitated, then offered their hand to him, palm up. Ichimatsu stared at it like it was some kind of alien tech......then slowly slipped his hand into their own, blushing brightly at how soft their hand was. Better than he’d ever imagined, that’s for sure. Still so kind, too...

   “...So you’re fine...with trash like me being your boyfriend?”

   “Only you’re okay with having a trash partner~” Ichimatsu glared at them as they gave a smug look, tightening his hold slightly.

   “You’re not trash,” he snapped.

   “I won’t say it anymore if you won’t~!” He stared at them, glare getting worse...then sighed, pouting. Softening his glare by quite a lot. “Heheh, I figured. We’ll work on it together, ‘kay?”

   “...You’ll help me?”

   “Mhm. I promise it,” they assured gently, scooting closer. “Hey.... Ichi?” As he turned to look at them, they leaned forward enough to gently, quickly peck his lips, smiling softly. Heat spread from head to toe, barely suppressing a shiver as it clicked in his head: that was...his first kiss. A messy way to get to this point, but get there they did and ahaha holy shit, this was officially the best day of his life.

    “Ichi...I love you.” He had to bluescreen a little longer, processing the kiss before nodding slowly, his eyes hesitantly meeting theirs all over again. 

    “...I-I...love you, too.” He stared a little longer, glanced down, and then back up. “....I hope you still will...when you find out what I like......”

   “Oh...? In what way, I wonder~?” Ichimatsu could only grin darkly at the mischievous look on Rachel’s face. Heh, seems like they might already know...and he looks forward to testing that.

   Not today, oh no!! That’d be too much for one day and his stomach would surely fuck up the moment. But someday. For sure.

[iwassentbycyberlife]

Good things never last...

Connor x Reader // Sometimes when things feel hopeless, help can come from unexpected sources // slight AU where people still live in Detroit but there’s still “peace” (also disclaimer: I don’t know anything about the US legal system so please don’t sue me if it’s not too accurate)

It hadn’t been easy. You knew from the beginning that things would be different, but you had hope that it could work. Somehow, some way, you were going to make it work. You had tried and tried, put in all the effort you could give, but in the end it couldn’t last, whether you wanted it to or not.

Your friends had warned you that dating an android would be a bad idea, but you had fallen, you were still falling. You were still so in love. But there was no way to solve this problem. Some things were out of your hands, and this was one of them. You sat down on the bed, not wanting to pack your stuff anymore. You laid your head on your hands which were still holding a shirt. New York wasn’t too far, but right now it felt like the other side of the world, and you were supposed to just move there.

“Are you almost done?” You felt like crying, his voice was so sweet, you wouldn’t be able to handle saying goodbye to him without crying. “Are... Are you alright?” you couldn’t resist letting out a sarcastic laugh when he said that. There was so much concern in his voice however, that you immediately started crying. It was too much, it wasn’t fair.

“Why are they doing this... I don’t want to leave you.” He sat down next to you and you leaned your head on his shoulder. “Why...” It was the only question you could ask, the only thing that had been on your mind since you had gotten the news. Since the revolution had ended there had been ‘android rights’ yes, but the respect was nowhere to be seen. You had started dating a few weeks after the revolution, on account of the obliviousness of a certain android of course, but no two months later Captain Fowler had told you to break up with him. You had been aghast, and asked what motivation was behind this, arguing that seeing a human and android together would only help acceptance. He wouldn’t even listen to a sound you made.

“The public needs to be able to rely on their officers to be impartial in cases, the higher ups decided this would impact your objectivity, and so we had to try and solve this in a civil matter. I hope this will not be an issue.” When you looked into his eyes you knew that he didn’t mean that in a polite way, and he would do whatever it took just to get his bosses off his back. Sure he was a wonderful Captain, pushing everyone to do their best, yet when it came to his bosses he for some reason was way less supportive of his underlings. But to ask this from someone was a scenario you never even imagined could become reality. Trying to play his game you had reluctantly agreed, and told Connor to keep it under wraps, you even staged a break up which you found more amusing than you’d care to admit. But it seemed Fowler kept closer tabs on you than you’d thought, which you were made aware of not even a week later.

“In my office. Now.” His tone was indication enough to tell you exactly what was up. The consequences however, were worse then you could’ve imagined. He started off with an angry rant of how you had always been stubborn and had a problem with authority. That last point made you laugh now. You had been quite a good cop, and remembering his face, he knew you knew that he didn’t mean it.

“You’re being transferred.” Your heart stopped as silence filled the air, this wasn’t a good kind of transferal. “You will be sent to the 99th precinct in New York. Connor will stay here and if you two decide to transfer together, know that his application will be rejected.” You knew there was no point in arguing and left the office immediately. Hank had ran after you asking ‘what the hell is up’ but you couldn’t say anything, the lump in your throat growing as you held back tears.

“Shhh, it’ll be alright.” Connor said, bringing you back to the room of your small but comfortable house, again your throat seemed to close up. The scenes had been playing through your head non-stop, and every time you imagined a scenario where you won the argument that hadn’t even been an argument you wondered. If only you didn’t love your job so much, if only you hadn’t fallen for Connor, if only he hadn’t been an android, if only you hadn’t been human. What would’ve happened then.

“I’ll miss you.” You said, kissing him softly. He wiped away some of the tears on your face, smiling gently. As he took the shirt from your hands and put it in the box, he whispered,

“I love you.”  Holding his hand you squeezed it, and you couldn’t help the smile even as your tears began flowing again.

“I love you too.” For a few minutes you just sat there and just enjoyed each other’s company. The last day of calm before the storm. Then the doorbell rang.

“Guys let me in! I can help!” A familiar sounding voice yelled as you saw Hank jumping in front of a window. You were surprised to see him, not having spoken to him much since the day he had ran after you. Connor smiled, and tugged your hand to indicate you walk with him. A giggle left your mouth seeing the Lieutenant so exited, feeling slightly guilty for dismissing him the other day.

“Come in Lieutenant.” Connor said, Hank raising an eyebrow.

“Nice to see you too. I’m doing great if you were wondering.” He sighed and entered the house, not bothering to wipe his shoes and dropping a file on your dinner table. “Now I am about to save both of y’all’s asses and I know you’ll be too exited to thank me later so I thought I’d give you the opportunity to do it now.” He gestured for you to speak.

A hesitant “Thank you,” came from you, looking over from Hank to Connor in confusion. Connor seemed rather happy about this. When he saw your confused look he finally explained.

“I asked the Lieutenant to help me figure out if there was any other solution. Since he has access to more files than I do.” Hank rolled his eyes.

“This dude had me searching through thousands of paper files which he could’ve read in ten minutes!” Leaning forward Hank whispered, “He says it’s because he wasn’t allowed to access them, but I think it’s because he wanted to spend more time with you.” You bit your lip, finding it to be quite endearing.

“What did you find Lieutenant.” Connor inquired. Hank sighed again, if you didn’t know better you’d think he hated the idea of helping you out, but through everything other than his sighing it was obvious he was glad he did help.

“Now now, no need to hurry, dramatic timing is important in these things.” Hank grinned, seeing your glare however, he quickly started talking. “Well, at first I didn’t know what to look for, but when I came across a file of a case where two officers sued their boss when they weren’t allowed to date, claiming it wasn’t stated in their contract, and they won the case.” He smirked, “Then I realized I should read the contract, and I finally read through the small letters.” You rolled your eyes in an amused manner.

“You do realise normal people actually read their contract before signing it right?” Connor suddenly got a worried look on his face,

“Lieutenant did you not read your contract? That is quite imprudent. If you wish I could help you with that.” Hank laughed,

“Don’t worry kids, I got this. Anyways, so sadly enough there was a part in there where if relationships come in the way of service, they can legally take steps to make sure that that isn’t the case anymore. However!” Hank now started grinning, “This only applies to people with a criminal record, suspects in any open cases, or anyone who is involved in a current open case.” He was silent for a few seconds before letting out another sigh. “Hello, earth to dimwits, didn’t you hear me? You can sue them.”

“We can?” You said in a surprised tone, not being able to believe what he just said. You could fight this after all. Case law was in their favor. When you finally gave a reaction, Hank face palmed.

“Why am I doomed to work with you dimwits.” He sighed, but you didn’t respond to his self pitying, deciding to hug him instead.

“Thank you, you don’t know how much this means.” Slowly Hank gave in, pulling Connor in for the hug as well.

“I couldn’t stand seeing you two be anything other than happy. And from what I’ve seen you two make each other the happiest I’ve ever seen you.” Letting go Hank smiled,

“Now how about we watch a movie to cheer up the mood a little? I think Shrek would be perfect for the occasion.” You hit him in the shoulder, pointing a warning finger at him.

“Don’t you dare do that to my man. I will murder you.” Hank laughed as Connor’s LED turned yellow. He was about to speak when you now pointed your finger at him. “No. No Shrek talk while in my house, do you both understand?” The two nodded, Connor looking like a beat puppy, and Hank still grinning. You then firmly stated, “It’s Bee Movie time.”

[another-tiny-ant]

New Beginnings

The New Year, a new start. It’s a cliché. But I am currently en route to my new home at university, having left my previous flat, so it truly is a new start. I’m really apprehensive, I suppose my experiences have taught me to be careful around new people. Even when at first they seem kind and friendly, they can turn on you at any point. Aware of my cynicism, I think in the past I have overcompensated instead, and thrown myself into investing in new people, only to be betrayed and mistreated further on down the line, and ended up being angry with myself for not anticipating it, or worse still, deliberately ignoring the signs. This is exactly the “victimhood” Eger describes in the exerts I posted in my previous post. I am trying to shed this cynicism, and pessimism, especially this year. But I think it is human nature to recede into yourself, and be hesitant around new people, at least to some extent, when you have been hurt. And I have always seemed to feel the pain of mistreatment from others especially keenly. This sensitivity has always been a negative trait, a poisoned chalice. But I want to see this as something positive. I want to wear my heart on my sleeve with pride. It is an important part of my identity. And whilst it is my weakness, it is also my strength; although I feel the pain more acutely, I am also able to love more deeply, and live compassionately. I have always believed in the importance of kindness. I have been bullied. But I will never, ever, become the bully. The cycle breaks with me.

The cynicism, the anger, the betrayal, the pessimism, that I suffer from, is part of my illness. But I think it has complicated origins. Probably the most significant cause is my experience of school. The bullying, the lack of self esteem, of confidence. My hands are here on the keys, but I can’t form the words. I don’t want to talk about the bullying, not now at least. I know to be truly free you have to confront the demons of your past, so that you can heal. I don’t think I can just yet. But I can talk about other things. The disability that has impeded me my whole life, which has been elusive enough to be invisible for diagnosis, but obvious enough for me to be bullied and ridiculed, at times brutally. The crushing of my dreams. That sounds so pretentious, but I think this is the real cause for how I feel now. The final nail in the coffin of the shit-mix cocktail. 

Throughout school, what kept me going, through all of the abuse and self-doubt, was my work. I poured myself into my books- working towards something gave it all greater meaning: one day, I’ll pass my tormentors in the supermarket, and I’ll have moved on to much better things. I was pretty ignored in school, or even ridiculed, by some of my teachers. A couple were supportive, and to them I’ll always be grateful for getting me through. But when I aced my GCSEs, it came as a surprise to pretty much everyone, including me. I’d always thought I was an idiot. I worked so hard simply to distract myself from everything else. But suddenly, teachers, and even management in the school, took real interest in me. They persuaded me to apply for Oxbridge. Academia was all I had. I didn’t really have any friends. And so it became my identity. I applied for Oxbridge. I was ‘the smartest girl in the year’. Mostly, that was a heavy badge to wear- I had the p*ss taken out of me pretty mercilessly, and jealous girls were especially cruel. It sounds so pretentious saying all of this. But it’s true, that’s what I became. Going to Cambridge became my dream. I visited, and it was gorgeous. It was the promise of something better- people I could relate to, who shared an interest with me in the world around me that no one else seemed to. I’m sure now that it was a fantasy; I never would have fitted in. But at the time, it was real. I went to a lecture there, and spoke to the lecturer at the end. I was excited, I was inspired, I was brimming with potential. The lecturer was impressed. My teachers were impressed. I went to the interview, and I could feel the positive reaction from the two academics in my second interview. In the first interview, I was more grilled. And in the entrance exam, my confidence really faltered. But the college I applied to shared my name. Everyone seemed to believe I was perfect for it, even my teacher that studied there. It was meant to be. And I made the fatal mistake; I dared to hope, I dared to believe. I never told anyone else that, I was too ashamed. Even then, at my most confident, I was still afraid to express my belief that someone like me would be allowed in.

Inevitably, I was rejected. I’d got so far. Past the initial application. Past the exams. Past the interview. All the way to the Winter Pool- the college was even ready to offer me a place, if it had been big enough. If, if, if. I was not good enough. And I was crushed. I don’t think I’ve ever recovered, if I’m completely honest. The thought occurred to me this morning, at about 2:36. That rejection shattered the self confidence I had finally managed to build, in those few months. My identity was false. I had built my foundations on academic attainment, and I should have known better- arbitrary measurements like that, from a broken and elitist system, were never the right choice to construct myself upon. But I was heartbroken. I had dared to believe that kids with disabilities, from a state school background, and generally f*cked up by the whole institution, could earn themselves a place. I would be the first in my mum’s line to go to university. And not only that, the best university. Studying there for me was so symbolic, for so many reasons. But eventually, I’d buckled under the pressure, and I just wasn’t quite good enough. Despite all the hard work I’d invested, for years, with no help, and rarely even the support of my teachers. That loss has cost me in all of my academic endeavours ever since- I nearly missed my offers for my other unis, and I’ve never felt confident at university. And never again will I believe in fate. Our lives are determined by luck. If you find something precious, hold onto it, and never, ever let go.

The university application experience had much more far reaching impacts for me though. It revealed to me the inherent unfairness of our education system, but also our society. No matter how hard you try, the system is against you. I am disenchanted, disillusioned. I see the mess of our current political system, the hurt and suffering around the world, the conflict, the greed, the corruption... and I am numb. Sometimes I’m so angry, I want to punch a wall. I ball up my fists and clench my toes and set my jaw, and listen to angry music. Other times I want to curl up in a ball, and cry and cry. And maybe it will all wash over me. But I cannot make change, and I cannot make myself blind either. Instead, I am just a witness. I used to believe that I would go into politics. I’d make a change from the inside. But who am I kidding? They’d never let me in. I care, but I don’t manipulate. I shake and stutter when I’m afraid. I am forgetful. I think I care too much. I would be chewed up and spat out by the political system. I feel directionless. What is the point? I used to find solace in my books; now they are part of my disenchantment. It damaged me in so many ways. But I have to see the positives. Though painful, the awareness of this unfairness means I would be better able to make a change. The disappointment, the hurt, the bitterness- it could all be channeled somehow. And even if not, I coped. I got on with it. I still went to a good uni, despite everything that happened. Hopefully, by the end of it all, I will be employable. I will have potential. I have so many options of what to do with my life in the future. Most importantly though, despite my uni experience thus far not being what I’ve hoped for, it did introduce me to my boyfriend. We are specks of dust caught in a changeable wind, and somehow, we were blown to each other. It will all be worth it for that; we will figure out our future together.

I really am trying to come to terms with all of the shit that weighs me down. I am trying to change my outlook. I have the support and love of some very precious people. I will get better. I don’t want to be a victim anymore. I want to be a survivor. My teenage suffering is behind me, forever.

🖤🐜🖤

[spideymood]

The Friend Zone - Peter Parker

Summary: You have been in love with Peter Parker since eighth grade, but you’re in the dangerous “friend zone”. When Peter asks Liz for Homecoming, and she says yes, your heart gets broken. Later you got accepted to your dream school in London for an exchange year.

Requested: not

Words count: 1,715

Author’s Note: Well, this isn’t the best I've written, but not the worst either. I’ll just hope you’ll enjoy!

masterlist

Friend Zone /term/: a term many guys and girls use when they have been rejected, whether it is straight out or inadvertently said. People tend to claim it is the other person's fault despite the fact that the person may really only like them as a friend. From; www.starkypedia.stark

Click here if you want to get out of the Friend Zone!

You were desperate. Literally desperate to get out of the friend zone. You had been friends with the nerdy boy Peter Parker for a long time, but he did only see you as a friend. You did not dare to ask him out because of his gigantic crush on Liz Allan, a gorgeous senior. She was beautiful, no doubt Peter liked her. You were in her shadow all the time. Peter often talked to you and Ned about Liz, like if she wore a new top or her hair. Every word he said was a dagger in you.

Currently, you were sitting in the cafeteria with Ned and Peter. You sat across the two boys. Peter couldn’t stop staring at something behind you, which you assumed was his crush, Liz.

«Hey, wanna join a Star Wars-marathon?» Ned asked with a big smile. «And I got this awesome Millennium Falcon lego ship we can build!»

«I’m in!» you answered while Peter declined.

«Sorry, I’ve got my Stark internship.» he excused.

«You’re always on that Stark internship! You hardly spend time with us anymore, Peter.» you and Ned argued.

Recently, Peter started to get more distant and working at his internship every day. You and Ned even offered to help him, but Peter declined. You knew Peter was hiding something from both of you.

«Hey, here are the invitations to Homecoming! I hope you will attend!» Liz Allan invited. She handled you, Ned and Peter the invitations with a bright smile.

«T-t-thanks Liz!» Peter thanked enthusiastically. It broke your heart to see how much Peter loved the senior girl. How couldn’t Liz see how much he liked her? It was pretty obvious. Liz walked away to give invitations to other students.

«Man, why don’t you ask her to Homecoming?» Ned asked. No one knew about your crush on Peter. «What’s the worst thing that can happen if you ask her?»

«Woah, I don’t know. She will probably say no and break my heart.» Peter said sarcastically.

«If she says no she won’t know what she’s missing. You are one of my best friends, Peter! You’re kind, unselfish and cares about others!» You complimented Peter. Peter smiled, and Ned looked like he just had realized something. Ned shook his head in confusion.

«Thanks, (your name)!» Peter thanked. «I’ll ask her…someday.» You smiled back. «I better get going! Gotta work on my essay in Spanish!» the brown-haired boy ran out of the cafeteria towards the library.

«You like him, don’t ya?» Ned grinned.

You stared in shock at him. «How do you know?»

«It’s pretty obvious, and you just confirmed it.» Ned lifted his shoulders. «Besides I had a feeling, but you just gave me the answer.»

You sighed and looked down at your lunch. «Is it that obvious?» Ned nodded. «Ugh! Why Peter? He only cares about Liz. It’s always Liz this and Liz that! I’m so tired.»

«I pity you. How friend zoned are you? From 1 to Eponine?» Ned pitied. He offered you a hug you gladly accepted. «Wow, it must feel bad to only be his friend and listen to him talk about his crush, which isn’t you.»

«I’m so desperate to get out of the friend zone! And I’m really close to Eponine, which is bad. It’s almost impossible to get away. The only one who has gotten out is Ron Weasley. I don’t understand how he got out of the friend zone with Hermione.» you cried. «I’m basically locked in the friend zone. Maybe sister zone too.»

«(Your name), it’s going to be alright. I’ll help you trough. Maybe you should consider to date other guys.» Ned comforted. You blinked away your tears.

«(Your name), I’ve got great news for you!» your mom called. You were home in your bedroom working on a science project.

«Coming, mom!» you answered and went down the stairs to the kitchen. You mom stood by the counter holding a letter. She smiled when she handled the letter to you.»

Congratulations, miss (your last name)

You got accepted to Victoria’s School in London as an exchange student. Your application was perfect and we can’t wait to meet you! We wish to see you by the start of the next semester after this summer!

Sincerely, Christina Stantfor, The headmaster at Victoria’s School of Science in London.

«Oh, my Gods! I got accepted!» You screamed in happiness with your mom. Victoria’s School of Science were you dream school. You knew that only 15% of their applications got accepted, and you knew there was a chance to not get accepted.

«What are you girls cheering and screaming for?» you dad asked and entered the kitchen.

«I got accepted!» You screamed excitingly. «To Victoria’s School of Science!»

«Woah! I knew you could do it!» your dad lifted you up in the air. «And you’re heavier than I last remembered!» he dropped you after a second. You laughed. This was what you had dreamed of for years.

Then it hit you. You had to leave your parents and friends. Peter and Ned. They both knew that you had sent an application to the school, but did they think you would get accepted?

«I’ve got some crazy news!» You and Peter shouted at the same time. You were currently by the entrance of Midtown High with Ned and Peter.

«You first!» Peter offered. You were nervous about how they would react to the news.

«I got accepted to Victoria’s School in London!» you smiled. Ned and Peter looked shocked at you first and then burst out in joy.

«Holy shit! You did it!» Peter exclaimed. «I don’t know if my news is as good as that, but I asked Liz to Homecoming! And she said yes!»

Liz said yes. Ned looked at you to see your reaction. «Wow, Peter! That’s…great news!» The news shattered your heart into hundreds of pieces. It felt like a black hole inside of you grow.

«Yeah, that’s awesome!» Ned replied. You knew he faked it because of you. «Can I just talk with you for a second, (your name)?» he whispered. He led you towards the end of the hallway. «Are you okay?»

«Yes, it’s just this piece of me has become dark and bitter. My heart aches and I’m feeling ill. Yes, I’m good.» You sarcastically exclaimed. You felt tears forming in your eyes. Ned pulled you into a warm hug. «If he’s happy, I’m happy. I know he likes Liz a lot, and maybe he’s not the right guy for me.»

«That was deep,» Ned whispered. «Are you sure you’re alright?»

«Yea, I’ve got to survive. Let’s think about the good news, I got accepted to Victoria’s School of Science!» you tried to stop thinking about Peter.

«I’m going to miss you.» Ned still hugged you.

«Me too.» You mumbled on Ned’s shoulder, crying.

It was only a month left of summer, and you had packed your belongings into a suitcase. You were almost ready to leave Queens for an entire year.

«Sweetie, are you ready to leave to the airport?» your dad asked downstairs.

«I’m coming!» you replied. You checked one last time in your room. Only your bed and books were left in the room. You sighed and carried your suitcase down the stairs.

Your mom and dad waited by the car for you. You carried the suitcase in the trunk and got inside the car. You were ready to leave.

Ned: We’re soon by the airport! Meet you there! read 11:38

Your friends Ned and Peter would say goodbye to you at the airport before you would leave the country. Since Homecoming Peter started dating Liz Allan. It sure broke your heart every time you saw them, but you knew that you would one day have a person who would love you. You just had to wait.

After a 30 minutes car ride, you were finally at the JFK. You took a deep breath and got your baggage from the trunk. Your parents followed you and helped you check-in your luggage. Ned and Peter had still not arrived.

Ned: Sorry, we’re late! Peter had to goodbye kiss Liz, ugh I want to puke :P read 12:07

You waited for another five minutes. «Maybe you should go through security now, or else you’re getting late.» your father suggested. You nodded disappointed and went towards security.

«Bye, mom. Bye, dad.» you hugged your parents. You knew you would miss them, but you could face-time and Skype each other. «I’m going to miss you so much!»

«Sweetie, promise to call me when you land in London!» your mom cried. «We’re also going to miss you!»

You were about to enter when someone called your name. «(Your name)!» You turned around, it was Ned and Peter. The boys pulled you into one last hug before you would leave. Your eyes became teary, you cried into Peter’s hoodie. It smelled like him, the smell you loved.

You had to tell him. «Peter, this may seem like a bad timing because of your relationship with Liz, but…I’ve loved you since eighth grade. You were that smart kid and I immediately liked you. I love you, Peter. But I know you like someone else, and I understand. I thought I could just clear things out before I leave.» You began to cry.

«I-i-i don’t know what to say,» Peter said shocked.

«I know you only see me as a friend or sister, but I don’t. I love you, Peter, and I want you to know that.» Peter was speechless. You pulled him into the last hug. «Ned, I’m going to miss you and your hat. We must keep in touch, bro.» You hugged him too. Peter was still speechless when you left the security.

There is no way back, you thought.

You waved and said your last goodbye to your friends and family before you headed towards a new adventure.

part 2??