#you're aware it's actually happening.... ? i dont even. know how to word it

[syrinq]

spending more time forming active coherent thoughts in my brain like "how am i feeling right now?" like i'm my own therapist to gauge how the current meds are affecting me, teaching myself the habit to actually stop and think before i say or act on shit

versus just blurting out whatever comes to mind first now, because i also am getting more aware of how much thought traffic there is and i want to talk about whatever car crash occurred, resulting in more brain farts than i'd like to admit

[mysumeow]

. . . ꒰ FOUND WOUNDED

Warnings: afab genitalia, gender neutral pronouns. PIV unprotected sex, Lilia takes a dominant role throughout the smut, hair pulling (reader giving), overstimulation (reader receiving), cunnilingus. not proofread it is what it is.

Summary: Out of the kindness of your heart —and naivety mixed in— you nurse back to health the injured fae you came across with in the forest.

Word count: 3.7k

A/N: if you find a mistake just ➖➖ close your eyes like that and pretend you dont see it. my contribution for general lilia lovers (myself included💗)

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ 🌷 . . KOFI | NEXT

At first, General Lilia was like a feral cat when you tried to get close to him.

Injured and almost unconscious; that was how you had found him. A gaping wound on his abdomen. Regardless of his blurry vision, he could still make out the smell of a human.

Thus, through deep breaths and pained winces, he demanded that you not come closer. Those demands were accompanied by curses and hisses, of course.

Perhaps you were naive or had no sense of self-preservation, or both, because despite his refusal to receive aid, you carried him on your back.

Had the fae been in better condition, you wouldn't have made one step forward without some inconvenience happening.

Lilia's first instinct, when he awoke the next day, was to attempt to flee before you realized he was up. Granted, the pain from recent battle wounds sliced through his being, rendering him to fall back on the bed.

His heartbeat picked up once he saw you walking into the room, kicking the door shut, and carrying breakfast in your hands.

The fae's words were nothing short of disdainful, accompanied by threats.

You were aware of the complex human-fae relationships and weren't surprised by his outburst. Instead, you ignored his empty words, left the breakfast on the little nightstand next to the bed, and left.

Although the general wasn't pleased at the fact you dismissed his words as if he were blabbering, he himself knew he wouldn't hurt a defenseless human like yourself. He's willing to turn a blind eye to those that aren't part of the Silver Owl's; after all, you weren't an immediate threat to him.

He sighed, turning to look at the source of the appealing aroma on the nightstand.

He wasn't that hungry, right? He could just wait a while longer, just to establish a sense of power over you—he didn't need you as much as you thought he did.

The grumbling from his stomach made his thoughts pause.

By lunch time, you decided it was a reasonable idea to check back on the fae you rescued yesterday.

The plate was clean, as you expected.

Without sharing another word, you gathered the plate and the utensils to head back to the kitchen, until the fae’s low voice and dry manner of speaking interrupted you.

“You know our kind have had conflicts of interest, right?” You couldn’t identify any sort of hostility or ill-intent from him when he spoke his mind.

“I...” You stopped to wonder if you actually considered that detail when you decided to bring this stranger into the safety of your home. “I wouldn’t be able to turn my back on someone who’s about to die,”

Lilia stared at you; you couldn’t discern how he took the comment.

“Hmph,” he said, crossing his arms. “You humans underestimate faes. I’ve survived worse wounds. This is nothing in comparison.”

“Yeah, yeah. You're, oh, so dangerous, and I'm, oh, so fragile. Please don’t kill me, Mr. Fae,” you feigned a squeakier voice. You reveled in amusement at his displeased expression. Suddenly, you realized you didn’t even know his name. “By the way, I don’t know what to call you.”

For a moment, Lilia considered not telling you. He would flee this place as soon as he could, so what was the point? He reasoned. Despite that, he figured that you would be more fearful of him if he revealed his name, as everyone knew the title that was accompanied by it.

“Or do you want me to keep calling you Mr. Fae?” You kept poking fun at him.

“I’m Lilia Vanrouge. Does the name ring any bells to you?”

You stopped for a moment to think.

“To be honest, no.”

Lilia wondered how you were still alive at this point, being so detached from the current events going on. You had just enough information to know about the war that was going on.

Unbelievable. He shook his head before looking down at the bandages wrapped around his lower abdomen.

The dull pain that comes from wounds was still present, albeit less than yesterday. He made an effort to sit up on the bed and undid the bandages, wanting to check the wound. If he applied less strength than usual, the sting was bearable.

You stitched his lesion while he was unconscious. Even though your work was decent, he couldn’t help but wish there were fairies nearby who could speed up the healing process. He couldn’t stop thinking back on his troops, the princess, his kind—they needed him right now.

Lilia’s troubled pondering stopped when you came back.

“I was just about to ask how you were feeling. The stitches haven’t opened, right?” You dabbed the rag into the water, looking to use the piece of cloth to clean up any dirt or blood that might’ve been left over from the prior day.

“Halt, human,” he tried to scurry away, flustered. “I can do it myself. I managed to eat on my own. I don’t need your help. Wait outside,”

“Okay, but you still should clean the rest of your body. I thought I could help you walk to the bathroom so you can use the shower,” you said, placing a hand on your chin. “Will you be able to reach your back? Bend enough to clean your legs?”

Lilia narrowed his eyes, partly out of suspicion. “If I were you, I’d be more cautious of a stranger,” he sighed. “I’ll allow you to help me clean my back. The rest, I can manage. Try anything funny, and I’ll make sure you’ll regret it,”

“Anything funny? You mean killing you? Do you think I would go to these lengths just to murder you?”

“My point stands.”

You guided the fae towards your bathroom; you left him alone so he could undress and wash what he could without your help. Once he was done, he called to you, where he was waiting, sitting on the wooden bathroom’s stool with a towel wrapped around his hips.

He didn’t acknowledge you entering; he just sat there in silence, waiting for you to pour water on his scarred back. Some scars were new, some were old, and others were fading.

His ears flicked when he heard you sit behind him.

The session was…awkward, to say the least. You both were quiet, and you wondered what he was thinking about during his silence. You resisted the urge to trace the scars on his back. You surmised that it must be a sensitive topic for him. You knew about the hardships of war, but having a glimpse of the surface of them awakened a sense of pity for him.

You slid the rag along his back. Albeit having a thin frame, there was some tonification...

He shivered, interrupting both your train of thoughts and your languid movements.

“You done?” he asked, looking at you over his shoulder.

“Yes,” you answered curtly, ashamed of yourself for allowing your mind to wander that much.

From then on, having the general living under the same roof was...an experience. To you, he seemed to have some sort of internal conflict when speaking to you; sometimes, he would speak in a kinder way, and at other times, he would go back to his withdrawn and indifferent attitude.

Like he was afraid of getting too attached soon.

You would tease him, proclaiming that he had developed a soft spot for you. He would either roll his eyes, huff, or deny, until he stopped paying attention to your “pointless ramblings” (as he called them). You couldn’t help but find amusement at the idea of this fae getting tired of your teasing and preferring to ignore them.

Of course, the general would rather die than admit his days in relative leisure with you were quite endearing—he wouldn’t admit his true feelings to himself either—as having someone looking out for you was a change of pace for his days of solitude. Solitude comes in the form of having no one else but himself to rely on.

For a human such as yourself to be selfless enough to nurse him back to health, even if not necessary until a certain point, made you stand out over the rest of the past human interactions he’d experienced.

Avarice and thoughtlessness were, after all, the reasons why the fae clashed with humanity.

Alack, he couldn’t stay here with you for the rest of his life.

Basking in the last rays of sunlight, sitting on the fresh grass as you shared a meal, you didn’t expect Lilia to have a gloomy expression.

“You’re going back to your military camp?”

“The war isn’t over yet. I’ve wasted enough time waiting for my wounds to heal,” Absentmindedly, his hands hovered over where the gaping wound once was. “You’ve been…”

“Hm?” You directed your focus to him, expecting him to finish his sentence while you munched on a slice of bread.

“I’ll give it to you. You’ve been helpful, but also annoying. I wouldn’t have imagined someone to have the ability to both heal and damage someone at the same time,” he took a sip of the tea and turned his head away in agitation.

“Would it hurt too much to just say ‘thank you’?” You rolled your eyes.

“Thank you,” he agreed, so you would drop the topic.

The sun had long since set, the single light source coming from your home. Lilia gave one last glance at your profile, noticing you were deep in thought.

He opened his mouth to tell you he was going inside again. Then he closed it again, thinking maybe you didn’t want to be disturbed by whatever you were reflecting on.

For the past few weeks, stress over how his troops were doing has built up. The general couldn’t wait any longer to go back to them.

He departed that same night.

Lilia took a quick look at the bedroom he has been staying in, checking if there was anything he should take with him before departing.

Alongside his mask, he wielded his magical lithic with practiced ease. 

He placed a hand on the window and pulled the lower panel up to open it. With a foot already on the windowsill, he hesitated.

I haven’t said goodbye to...

Almost as if driven by instinct, he went back to the living room, where he last saw you a couple of hours before.

At first, he didn’t see you. He rationalized that you were in your bedroom now; however, a soft snore made him realize that wasn’t the case.

Sprawled on the couch. Blanket on the floor. Your head is almost falling off the edge of said furniture.

That’s how he found you sleeping.

He deadpanned, reaching down towards the blanket on the floor and draping it over your sleeping form.

Did Lilia feel at fault that he didn’t get to say goodbye? Yes. Nevertheless, the fae was set on answering the call of his obligations before letting himself realize it.

Being a proper general like him, he located the camp with ease. Every single one of his comrades celebrated his return.

Now, this was an environment he was used to. It felt right; this was what he was familiar with.

And despite that, he couldn’t shake you off his thoughts. Not even the next day.

His mind kept reeling back on the idea of heading towards your small cottage to apologize.

Lilia groaned in frustration, turning around on the makeshift bed inside his tent. He stared at the walls, asking himself if it made sense for him to have these feelings.

Humans are weak. I should check on that human. Yeah, that’s it. That human is clumsy.

While putting on his armor and tying the knots in their places, he couldn’t believe himself—he was going back just to see you.

It was past midnight. Perhaps it wasn’t the best time to go see you, but he hoped you were up. He remembered that you tend to stay up past that hour.

He found himself smiling fondly at the memory before his smile dropped at the smell of smoke and fire in the distance.

With a racing heart, Lilia hurried to where he knew your home was.

Engulfed by fire.

The orange embers reflected on Lilia’s eyes as he gawked at the unbelievable sight. Soon, his attention was brought back to unknown faces inspecting around the perimeter. He identified the silver armor, and Lilia didn’t waste any more time acting.

“The general!” One of them shouted, the others unsheathed their swords, and they prepared to attack.

By the sound of it, Lilia supposed that this was an ambush, since it appeared that they were after him and set the house on fire to have a better chance of hunting him down.

“Where’s the human?!” Lilia demanded, pushing the lithic blade against the soldier he trapped.

“Calcinated, perhaps,” he spat.

As she was about to slice him open, something stopped Lilia.

With a hand on his arm, you managed to halt his movements. Had you come any later, the soldier would’ve had his neck chopped.

You didn’t give him a chance to question you; rather, you pulled him away from the burning place and into the forest.

To say the fae was speechless was a way to put it—he was baffled. Up until a certain moment, he managed to regain his composure and grab you by the shoulders.

“Why didn’t you let me end him?!” He shook you. “You allowed those pesky pests to get away with it!”

“Lilia—”

“What?!”

“You’re digging your nails. It hurts.”

His arms dropped back to his sides, as if you were scalding hot.

“Now what’re you going to do? Your home…”

“I have no other choice other than traveling back to town.”

“Alone? In the middle of a war? You’re lucky enough I was willing to spare you, but I can’t guarantee other faes will do the same,” Again, his hands were on you. “You’re coming with me,”

Your mind stalled.

“Huh?” You followed him when he began heading in a direction only he knew where it ended. “Are you accompanying me towards the town?”

“Do I look like someone who has that much time to spare?” He squeezed your hand more. “I’ll take you to my camp,”

You stopped walking, pulling on his hand.

“You can’t be serious. Aren’t they going to kill me?”

“Dare anyone lay a hand on you, I’ll return the action tenfold.”

“How are you so sure they won’t dare hurt me?”

“Because I’m their general.”

“So, when were you planning on telling me that minuscule detail?” Your voice became increasingly louder as you spoke from shock. “That all this time, I’ve had the general in my home?!”

“You’re going to attract an enemy’s attention. Shut up,” he said, covering your mouth with his hand. “Let’s get going,”

You managed to escape unscathed from the fire but were exhausted from the stress of having to flee. You hugged yourself while you followed the general, fending off the chill of the night that was starting to seep into your being.

There was someone waiting by the camp’s entrance, and Lilia knew who that was.

“General, there you are!” The man’s green eyes fixed on you; sheer disdain reflected on them upon seeing you. “What’s that human doing here? They didn’t harm you, right?!”

“Quiet, Baur! This human is coming with me,” Lilia looked at you for a second. “This person is... who found me wounded back then,”

It seemed as if Lilia had mentioned you to this fae named Baur before your meeting.

“I trust you’ll keep this a secret. If the soldiers ask why this human is with us, tell them that they’re being held hostage to aid with manual labor,” Lilia had made up his mind. There was no way he would let you dive into danger.

“General… I trust your judgment above all, but—”

“My decision isn’t up for debate.”

Baur shifted his gaze back on you, unconvinced of the general’s judgment. Regardless, he recognized his position and didn’t object further.

You were drowsy. You didn’t notice you followed Lilia into his tent.

Lilia, too, occupied with his own musings, didn’t bat an eye at the arrangement.

"It would be a better idea if—" he turned around and saw you had already made yourself comfortable on his bed. You had shrugged your coat off in a messy manner, one sleeve still up your shoulder.

Acting out what felt natural, he kneeled on the makeshift mattress and finished pulling the sleeve off your body. Then he grabbed the blanket to place it over you, but you stopped him by putting your hand on his cheek.

"You look tired too," you noted with a whisper.

"Not more than you."

"My body's exhausted, but my mind's wide awake still," You moved your hand away from his cheek and reached behind him to slide the hair tie off. His ponytail became undone, locks of hair falling on either side of his face.

His hand snatched yours, albeit his face was flushed and his ears red. He held your gaze, bodies rising in temperature, until he couldn’t hold it anymore and leaned down to kiss you. It started as a vehement desire to demonstrate the feelings bottled up inside.

You weren’t faring any better, hugging him close to you despite how his fangs would bite down on your lip, almost drawing blood from his eagerness. Lilia rested his weight atop yours, pinning you down against the bed, hands wandering around your torso and squeezing what he could.

Breathless, Lilia pulled away, panting, his fangs peeking.

Intrigued by their shape, your thumb touched the pointy edge, feeling its puncture on the surface.

“Your fangs. They’re very sharp,” Your thumb moved away from the impressive canine teeth, preferring to graze it across his reddened bottom lip.

“Keep touching me like that, and I’ll use them to leave marks on that pretty neck of yours.”

You swiped your finger over his lip again.

His hand went straight to your head and pulled to expose your neck; a soft mewl escaped you. In no time, restless hands undid each other’s clothes in a haze. Lilia reminded you to avoid waking up the slumbering soldiers with your constant moans.

Had his mouth not been occupied slurping and sucking your clit, he would’ve had to control his voice too; Lilia had told you to get on top of him, baring your pussy in the most vulnerable way possible by placing your knees on either side of his head. You started by trying to not suffocate him, fearing that it might be too much—Lilia couldn’t care any less about that since he pulled you closer by your hips.

Sloppy—the very image of starving and making a mess between your legs. He guided your hips to move in backward and forward motions, just making it harder for you to quiet down. 

“Lilia,” you tried to warn him of your approaching orgasm.

One hand tightened on your hips when he sensed you trying to get off, while the other slid up the small of your back to push you forward, making it easier for him to reach your clit.

“I’m going to cum, Lilia. Please,” You weren’t even sure what you were asking for, but your hips trembled, and you didn't want that satisfaction to end.

You bit down on your hand to silence yourself when you reached your climax.

However, Lilia’s hunger wasn’t satiated. You felt as if he was about to pounce on you, which wasn’t far-fetched, because he proceeded to change positions and push you on your back.

You couldn’t hold back your whimpers as Lilia kept teasing your sensitive clit, trying to tell him you were still coming down from your orgasm, but your own mind betrayed you. Lilia’s grin was fiendish, adoring the way you were so responsive to him.

“That was all it took to get this pussy this drenched?” He fingered your hole, and beyond indecent sounds came from there. “Listen to that. You’re beyond soaked. Even the insides of your thighs are covered with your cum. Didn’t you enjoy that a little too much?” he teased.

“F-Fuck, shut up,” your cheeks burned from embarrassment.

He wasn’t better off himself either. Beads of precum both roll down his dick and drip on your thigh. With the same hand he masturbated you with, he used your slick to further lubricate his cock, even if it wasn’t necessary given how wet you were.

He aligned it with your entrance and pushed in, panting from how good you felt to him. The moment he was completely inside, he began thrusting with unparalleled pace. You bit your lip, along with teary eyes, making your best attempt at keeping your voice down. Lilia noticed you struggling and bent down to shut you up with his own lips. For that instance, the tempo staggered but was still thrusting hard.

Through your foggy mind, you wondered how such a slim body like his was able to muster this much force at such a rapid pace. How a fae with a pretty and charming face like his could be this debauched...

“Ah…” he moaned against your neck, hunger overriding any sense of rationality. Lilia hid his face in your neck, licking and kissing it.

Without you needing to tell him, the general busied his hand with your clit again, pushing you closer to an orgasm. At this point, he went back to that sloppy tempo, and your hands darted to his disheveled hair, tugging those lovely locks of magenta and black hair. You tugged slightly harder without you discerning as you orgasmed, your body quivering from the intensity of the climax. A small grunt left him and came shortly after you.

After a while of catching his breath, he pulled away and lied down next to you.

“You’re lucky these soldiers are heavy sleepers, and my tent isn’t close to theirs.”

You covered your face, realizing that you were basically surrounded by more faes. “I don’t want to show my face to them,”

Essentially, the soldiers were heavy sleepers thanks to the weariness of having to train early in the day, do manual work, fight, run up and down the mountain, and everything else. They didn’t hear a thing. As for Baur, however...

[amarayys]

DRDT episode 13 theory. So.

so i was meant to be making a general episode 13 analysis video. but um. i dont have the energy for that. so what am i gonna do instead? TALK ABOUT TERUKO try find out wtf david is doing in this scene

SO. time to find out what possibly the FRUITIEST look ever from david means!!! disclaimer:

I suck at theories. And formatting. Yipee.

I'm painfully unfunny so excuse any dumbass jokes i make.

I'm going to find any and all excuses to rant abt teruko. be prepared...............

4. I may repeat myself a lot. Forgive me if it sounds really repetative... :( 5. Any points surrounded by - these things - are just things that are unlikely, but I think should still be adressed.

So, the context of these images is Teruko revealing "her secret"; You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them.

(pls excuse the shitty quality.) She has to be either lying or MAYBE unsure about her secret. Here's why: 1. She had a conversation with Whit (and technically charles, but he was just listening in) about her family. She reveals that she's never known her parents and grew up in an orphanage. She did grow up with her biological brother, but he was adopted by another family when Teruko was five, and she says she doesn't remember him much.

2. The wording of the secret is quite specific - You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. Like I've mentioned, she's never known her parents. Even if she *somehow* knew they were dead, why would she blame herself for it? I could see it maybe working in some way, but the next bit disproves it - SIBLINGS. Teruko has only mentioned having one sibling, and this wording is plural. This secret cannot be hers, she only has one brother. - To add on to this

2.5. Maybe one could argue that siblings and parents could be her friends/people she considered family in the orphanage she grew up in. However, the specific wording of parents and siblings, instead of just using the word "family", makes me think otherwise. - Okay, so let's dissect what this means. - I think if maybe she was unaware/TRULY thought that this was her secret, the only point that would support it is 2.5. Maybe she considered people she grew up with in the orphanage her "parents" or siblings", but its just not very likely. While I wouldn't be surprised if Teruko blew up an orphanage or something (/hj) , I think it's a stretch to say this secret is referring to that. - With that out the way, we come to one conclusion - Teruko is lying about secret. "Amari, we know that already, can we move on??????????" yeah yeah whatever i may have just wanted to rant about teruko. MOVING ON. So, what is Teruko's secret? It's pretty wildly agreed upon that Teruko's secret is the one regarding the killing game, which David recieved - "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault."

We think that this is Teruko's secret because: 1. She's the only one that fits it smh. /hj 2. The guy at the start of the prologue (who is probably xander but that is a WHOLE other theory you can find here ) mentions having to kill Teruko Tawaki (how DARE they) after talking about ending the killing game.

My interpretation of this is that Teruko is the reason the killing game is actually happening, though I doubt she's aware of this/the mastermind (or she could be, idk??). A really good theory that I feel explains what I mean by Teruko causing the KG but not being the mastermind is the time loop theory which is linked here. (accirax i love you for this theory /p) Obviously, this lines up with "The killing game is your fault." 3. David gives her THE LOOK right after she "admits" her secret, which sort of maybe kind of implies that he knows she's lying, which he does, since he has the secret. - As for the remaining secret: Xander's secret (which we assume min recieved) is the one Teruko claimed to have:

"You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them." Why do I think this? 1. In Xander's bonus video, it is VERY heavily implied that he has survivor's guilt as well as outright confirmed his family is dead. Go check it out for the full context.

2. Xander's secret message on the DRDT tumblr is the definition of survivors guilt. Really self explanatory, huh?

3. XANDER ACTUALLY HAS MORE THAN 1 FUCKING SIBLING. anyway. okay, this is getting a little confusing to remember, so here: Killing game: Teruko's secret, recieved by David. Survivor's guilt: Xander's secret, recieved by Min. (all remaining secrets remain the same.) MOTIVE

So, why would Teruko lie about her secret? I mean, shouldn't she just point it out? And why didn't David point it out? - 1. Teruko is aware that her secret is the killing game one and is lying because she's the mastermind or something. We see her thoughts, so I really doubt it. To further disprove this theory: Teruko has stated like 15 times (/ex) that she doesn't know which secret is hers, due to her having too many secrets. So, yeah, pretty unlikely she knows which secret's hers. Discard this theory. -

2. a) Teruko doesn't know her secret, but knows it's probably bad, and therefore doesn't want to share it, so she lied. Pretty straightforward, really. Now, for the theory that I think is most likely: 3. Teruko doesn't know which secret is hers, but she knows neither of her secrets are the ones left unrevealed. She knows somebody is lying about a secret - but she's come to the conclusion that secrets are irrelevant to the trial and murder, so she's lying about her secret to avoid everyone getting off track once again.

We know that's she's accidentally led the trial in the wrong direction twice now (motive secrets, time of murder) Also, this is the most in character.

As for David: A. David knows her secret, but keeps it hidden in order to cause distrust and just generally fuck Teruko over. He plans to reveal it either post trial or in a future daily life. B. David knows her secret, but earlier, he and Teruko made a pact to keep it hidden. However, since he's a little bitch boy (/j), he's going to reveal it anyway, either post trial or in a future daily life. - Just to add on to this point ^ - I know Teruko's protag and we see her thoughts and all, but Kaede happened, so I don't think this is out of the question. - I think the most likely combination is point 3. and point A. : Teruko's lying about her secret to avoid the trial heading off topic. David isn't calling her out because he wants to use it in the future to throw suspicion onto Teruko and cause havoc.

SO. Let's recap! Secrets: Teruko: "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault." Received by David. Xander: "You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them." Received by Min. Rest remain the same as canon. Why can't Teruko's secret be about her family? 1. Teruko never knew her parents, and never mentions them being dead. 2. Teruko hasn't seen her brother since she was 5, and she never mentions him being dead, just adopted. 3. The wording of the secret refers to siblingS, which is plural. Teruko has only one sibling. 4. The secret fits Xander much better - His secret quote is the defintion of survivors guilt, and his bonus episode heavily implies he has survivors guilt, and it is confirmed his family died in the same bonus episode. Why is Teruko's secret about the killing game?

• The guy at the start of the prologue mentions having to kill Teruko Tawaki after talking about ending the killing game. This implies Teruko is the cause of the killing game, whether on purpose or not. Motive for lying: Teruko doesn't know which secret is hers, but she knows neither of her secrets are the ones left unrevealed. She knows somebody is lying about a secret - but she's come to the conclusion that secrets are irrelevant to the trial and murder, so she's lying about her secret to avoid everyone getting off track once again. David knows her secret, but keeps it hidden in order to use it in the future to turn everyone against Teruko and just generally cause distrust in the group. He plans to reveal it either post trial or in a future daily life. **btw, just a fun afterthought - i think either whit or charles will eventually point out the conversation regarding teruko's unbringing and how it contradicts her secret - and david will use that opportunity to reveal teruko's secret. ANDDDD that's it! feel free to correct/add on any points you'd like. this took AGES but i had so much fun!!! i love you drdt. (ESPECIALLY TERUKO.)

[onlyjaeyun]

idk if you do requests, but could we get a pt.2 to the daddy? sorry sunghoong text fic where they have that talk he was texting abt ? you can disregard this if you dont want to do it, i totally understand 💕

this is the ask nonie's referring to btw!

— cw: dvddy kink, light dd/lg dynamics, implied phone s3x

honestly i think if there's one thing about sunghoon is the fact he's very open when it comes to you. he trusts you and knows he can always talk to you about whatever's on his mind, it doesn't matter what it's about, if he feels like talking to you about it (which is most of the time) he does not hesitate to do so.

however, kink talks aren't on the list of daily things to talk about, so he's not quite sure how to bring it up. every since you texted him that first "daddy?" sunghoon's been struggling to think about anything but you and the thought of hearing you actually use that title for him.

hoon never really expected himself to be into it because he simply never considered you to actually have a thing for it, so he's not really sure if you are, since you were actually just messing with him.

he attentively listens to your cute little story about your day with your best friend, loving the way you go into detail about basically everything, even which flavour of boba you had, which is why he hates himself for wanting to bring your texts from earlier up so bad.

once you're done, hoon's determined to ease you into it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but the mere possibility of you being into it just as much as he is, drives him insane. he's been rock hard the whole day and the fact this all happened when he's literally away from you for the first time for this long feels like destiny's laughing at him.

"hoonie? are you there? or did you fall asleep on me again?", you chuckle and sunghoon almost loses himself in the sweet tone of your voice; he can't stop thinking about how good you sound when you cum for him.

"i'm here, baby", he replies calmly, adjusting his boxers in hopes of somehow getting rid of his raging hard on, yet fails miserably and hisses the second he accidentally nudges the tip with his hand, "got lost in my thoughts, that's it."

"you sound tired, my love, do you wanna head to sleep?"

"no", he's way too quick with his response, eliciting another row of chuckles from you and this time sunghoon simply can't stop the words from spilling out.

"are you into it?" he asks and hates how a beat of absolute silence follows, because it lets him know you're more than aware what he's referring to and he feels a weird tightness spreading in his chest in response to your lack of.

"are you into it, sunghoon?" is the only thing you reply and are actually surprised to hear the sound of a deep grunt from the other line, the noise instantly shooting a jolt of arousal through your body.

"i never thought i would be", your boyfriend mumbles and you feel excitement fill your chest, "but i – fuck, baby i want it so bad."

the moment the profanity falls past your usually so composed boyfriend's lips, you let out the breath you didn't realise you were holding in and subconsciously start pressing your thighs together.

"you want me to call you daddy?"

there's not a lot you expected to hear in response to your question, yet nothing could have prepared you for the deep groan filling your ears.

"yes, baby", sunghoon's lost every bit of patience he had left, fingers firmly wrapped around his length, stroking himself to the thought of your perfect body, your sweet voice and the feeling of your pretty cunt the only thing on his mind.

"i want it, too", you whisper shyly, sighing softly when you finally push your pj shorts down your legs to expose your drenched cunt to the cold air in your room, "have been thinking about it for so long."

"fuck, angel girl, you're going to drive me crazy", sunghoon's voice is now raspy and strained, the firm sounds of his hand meeting his hips as he fucks his fist like a man gone mad easily sending chills down your body, "be a good girl for daddy and cum with me, yeah? i need it so bad, baby."

and how could you deny a reaquest this sweet, right?

[softxsuki]

I feel like this is a weird request, and I just wanted to say before hand that I’m not in this situation anymore but sometimes I imagine something similar happened when it was in effect. Could you maybe write about the toman boys (as a group, as toman I mean) somehow finding out their friend is currently an active victim of sex trafficking? How they’d react to it and stuff? I think a lot of ppl dont realize a lot of times with kids it’s not being thrown in a cage or something, often they let you go to school and live a normal life too. If you feel the need to do research b4 writing BTW, I recommend watching some TIKTOKS by nicolegrows as she had a very similar experience to me

Toman with Reader Who is A Victim of Trafficking

DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO. NOT. READ THIS IF MENTIONS OF SEX TRAFFICKING WILL TRIGGER YOU!

Pairings: Toman x Gn!reader (platonic)

Warnings: mentions of sex trafficking, needing counseling for trauma/PTSD

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 470

Summary: In which Toman finds out that you're actively a victim of sex trafficking

[A/N; Thanks for letting me know that this request was actually urgent. I just got a second today to write this. The best I could do was headcanons, because I physically couldn't write out a more detailed description of this scenario, but I hope it's helpful. You just said Toman, so I wrote how the gang as a whole would respond to finding out about this! I'm glad you made it through something as horrible as this. The world is a scary place.

cutting this here, incase anyone ignores my warnings. PROCEED WITH CAUTION PLS.

Okay well first of all, as soon as they find out that you’re in any kind of danger, Mikey commands everyone immediately to get into action to save you

You’re their friend; though not officially in the gang because they didn’t want to put you into any danger from the many enemies they have, you remained friendly with each other and hung out frequently

Baji was the one who noticed something strange, so he took matters into his own hands; he secretly followed you around and took note of any suspicious activity he saw from the people around you

But certain things made everything very clear and so he reported it all to Mikey right away, who them proceeded to act immediately

Their first step is taking you away from the people who are doing this to you–whether you’re aware of your situation or not; it doesn’t matter, they’re getting you out of there

It becomes a small operation, only the Captains and vice captains of the divisions along with Mikey and Draken are in charge of safely collecting you and ensuring that you never have to be in that environment again

They call the police to inform them, and show up to your “home” without their gang uniforms on–their job is to take you out of there, not draw attention to themselves and risk the perpetrators running off before the police even arrive. The police could deal with everything else when they got there

It took everything in Toman not to take their anger out on your “caretakers”; it was now Toman’s job to take care of you and give you a new home with them, not get in trouble and leave you alone

Obviously, you needed a lot of support from all your friends, and professional support as well, which they all helped you out with

Mitsuya was probably the one you ended up confiding in the most–being as he was an older brother to his younger sisters, you felt especially safe with him

But aside from him, the boys all made you feel very welcome and safe

If they weren’t protective of you before, they definitely were now

Mikey had ordered someone to always be on guard of you at all times, if he wasn’t available to do it (he usually was, but in the rare case that he couldn’t, another toman member would quietly be keeping an eye on you from afar)

You’d most likely be living with Mikey and his Grandfather, who treated you with so much kindness and understanding after Mikey explained everything to the older man

You were Toman’s family now and they’d do anything to make sure you continued your life the way you were meant to live it; helping you with anything you needed in the process to recover and overcome everything that had happened to you.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 5/11/2023

[decolonize-the-everything]

What is there left to learn?

All you need to know of any good branch of leftism is that self determination and freedom is above everything.

We stand against so much because so much has been created to get in the way of that.

Money often gets in the way by imposing literal pay walls to basic needs so we oppose it. Racism gets in the way when racist gatekeepers prevent POC from receiving equal care, equal service, and equal access to resources so we oppose it. The same goes for all the other -isms and bigotries such as misogyny and homophobia.

Human beings come in all shapes, sizes, colors, sexualities, and genders. We are beautifully diverse this way, it's literally human nature.

And so we must learn to live and accept people different from ourselves.

Nobody has more rights or humanity than anyone else. Nobody has the right to enforce their own determinations and truths on anyone else. There is no singular way of being that is Right or makes you more deserving than the rest, that gives you the right to control others because it's just such a Good way of living. There never will be.

There is no natural way to determine what a good, deserving human looks like. And that's why leftism supports and hears all oppressed people.

Every single excuse and method that attempts to control/feel superior are all social constructs. Ex:

You're rich, fiscally responsible and think you're better than others? Money isn't natural, it's barely even real. It's something that some human made up one day to feel better than the others. It may as well be called pixie dust. And without it you're just like the rest of us.

Being White didn't mean anything before some human decided they could gain self esteem by reducing the perceived worthiness of Black and Brown ppl. Without made-up ideas of race you're just like the rest of us, made of the same hunger and thirst and love as we are.

Cis and Trans or Gay and straight are just different ways for humans to be born and exist. Some people like their bodies, some don't. Some people kiss the same sex, some dont. You aren't superior for being cis or only kissing one sex. You won't get a trophy for denying the kind of human you are or for making others feel bad about the kind of human they are either.

There is no natural test for superiority in humans because human superiority is unnatural. For any of us.

The only measure of being Better than others was how much better you were at being a community member; how much you contributed to the betterment of your peers. You didn't brag about being white, you bragged about how you killed so many deer that your people certainly will Not be starving.

We were born to share this planet and our only ACTUAL job is to take care of each other and the planet in whatever way we can. It's the only thing we've ever owed each other.

Racism, ableism, colonization, capitalism, white supremacy, genocide, Nazis, Zionists, etc.

These are not concepts that deserve to be kept alive. Anything that makes you hate someone else or makes you feel more Worthy than someone else has no place in the future.

I say all this because I feel like I'm beating a dead horse on this blog so often. I really do try to stay educational and focus on solidarity. But there's only so much that words can do without action.

And words without action are as good as dust in the wind.

I love this blog, but I'm long over this. We need to act. There is a genocide happening and I'm starting to believe that everyone who wants to stop it Already knows about it. They do not need awareness. They don't need voices. They need direction. They need community. They need support and bodies to help intimidate police.

They need us.

And instead I blog on Tumblr trying to rally people that hardly reblog a call to action.

This blog is starting to feel like a symptom of the system. A time-consuming distraction for me. And a way for you to placate yourselves while the world gets worse.

Just following leftists doesn't make you a good person. Having the Right opinions doesn't make you a good person. Even believing in equality doesn't make you a good person if you don't do something about it.

I'm tired of begging for people to organize and protest and show up for each other.

I'm convinced that if you ever had the intention of doing so then you already are. And if you're not then that's a choice you've made.

You either support genocide or you fight it, you know?

I don't know what else there is to learn or say. What are you waiting for? An invitation?

Please go fucking organize and join a protest.

In other news....I am getting closer to deleting this blog every day.

[mediocreanomaly]

Would you do uncanny Vash with s/o reader cuddling?

If you dont know about the uncanny au then it's okay

Authors Note: Yes!!!! I can!!!! I was actually making an uncanny Vash HC's list so you read my mind. thank you for letting me speak about creature Vash because...I love him

Cuddling With Uncanny Vash

•The first time you cuddle with Vash you two aren't actually together together, you had been traveling with him and had to set up camp in the sands of No Mans Land, not close enough to any towns to get shelter for the night

•You rolled out your sleeping bag and noticed Vash seemed a bit...uncomfortable?

"Hey...you good Vash?" "huh? oh- yeah! I uh, I don't hold body heat very well so it's a bit cold at night, I'm fine though! Promise!"

You frowned because ofcourse he was going to play martyr, always one to put the comfort of everyone else above his, so with out a word you had taken it upon your self to drag your sleeping bag next to him and begin wiggling in.

"y-y/n?!?! what are you doing?!?!" he squeaks "You said you're cold." you deadpan

•After a bit of flustered instance you don't have to do this...he settles. Vash really doesn't hold body warmth, but he eagerly presses against you to feel yours

•It reminds you a bit of the lizards around Gunsmoke that sunbathe to stay warm, but you'll gladly share your heat (not that you like him like that or anything...ha.)

•After that cuddling with Vash becomes a normal occurrence, only thing is...you feel like every time you notice something odd about the spikey blonde

•The next time you sleep next to Vash is luckily in a motel room. It had been a long days travel so you pass out pretty much as soon as you hit the bed. Only waking up when in the middle of the night when you need to you the rest room

•You groan and slowly blink open your eyes...and scream. Two eyes that reflect like an animals in the dark are staring down at you but when you tumble out of bed the only thing that greets you is Vashs quick apologizes because you "just looked so peaceful!" which, maybe you had before you had the living daylights scared out of you

•Eventually Vash starts to get more comfortable pulling you close for warmth. A fact you become aware of when one night he snakes his arms around your waist...but...his arms just keep wrapping around you

•There's some sort of primal instinct telling you the arms holding you right now are just a bit too long, that the feeling of your companions fingers gently laid on your hips should've stopped just a few centimeters before they actually do...but you try to ignore it

•Speaking of which...when he gets up in the morning and yawns? You swear to god that his jaw opens just a tad bit further than it should. There's a split thought of "run" in your head before he closes his mouth and blearily blinks the sleep out of his eyes. Not to mention the dopey smile on his face that keeps you from saying anything

•Once you and Vash get in a relationship it only doubles his...not human traits.

•Like the fact his plant markings glow now when the two of you lay down, a soft teal light pulsing through him as he nuzzles up against you

•Along with the fact that if he's really blissed out small feather like things will bloom and sprout around his face and arms. One time you even wake up to full wings encircling you keeping you secure next to his body

•Luckily this also comes with...purring! Kinda? Vash purrs but the first time you hear it you are very confused. He's not a cat so it's not the gentle sound you're used too, it a heavier deeper rumble that when he does it it doesn't even sound like it's coming from his chest. Some how there's a weird audio trick where it sounds like it's coming from every direction around you

•The first time scared you because it was hard to tell what was happening but after Vash sheepishly admits he just feels safe with you and he can't help it, your heart melts and you love when his rumbling purr lulls you to sleep

•In all you get used to his odd sleeping habits, the only thing that still freaks you out sometimes is that when he first wakes up, he'll stretch. Or...at least you think he stretches, all you know is you can hear the sound of bones groaning, grinding and popping into place. One time you saw his shadow on the wall while he did this and it looked like multiple limbs fanning out writhing around his body. You willed yourself to look but...every time you do he's just sitting on the bed like nothing. You quit looking at his shadow after that, sometimes it's better to just be curious.

[talkintrashcann]

Sleeping beauty - Xavier Thorpe

Summery: You found your best friend sleeping in his shed, his body laying on something he was drawing before falling asleep. Little did you know, it was a drawing of you.

Warnings: fluff, kissing, best friends to lovers, if there's any others please let me know

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: im sorry if this is really bad, i didn't check the story after finishing it up so there's probably gonna be some mistakes in here. this is my first time ever posting on tumblr, this is all very new to me and idk how any of this works or if im doing it correctly so please let me know what you think. im always open for suggestions or feedback!

——————

Walking outside in the forest after dark wasn't your favorite activity to do but you got a little worried about your best friend, Xavier. You texted him a while ago asking if everything was alright and he hasn't replied back yet. You're aware that he likes to take his distance sometimes and wants to be alone, which you completely understand and respect. But you also knew that whenever something is wrong, he keeps it to himself even when he shouldn't. He knows that you have your own things to sort out sometimes and he doesn't want you to carry around his luggage too, he doesn't want to feel like a burden.

He has the perfect spot to go to whenever he wants to be alone, a place where he can let go and express himself. Out in the woods next to the school there's a shed somewhere, he cleaned it out with permission from Ms. Weems to turn it into his private art studio. So naturally that's the first place that came to mind when you found out he wasn't in his room.

After a 15 minute walk in the woods you finally spot the old shed, covered by loads of plants that grew onto it over the years. It was certain he was inside as the lights of his shed were turned on, and only he can enter the shed considering he's the only one with a key.

You open the door quietly, not wanting to scare him this late at night. Your eyes scan the room looking for your friend, but you frown as you dont see him immediately. You take a step further inside, being able to see the room more.

That's when you spotted him, sitting on his wooden stool while his upper body was leaning on his workbench. He was sleeping peacefully, not even waking up because of the door opening. And you can imagine it making quite some noise considering how long that shed has been standing there in the forest. His hair was partly tied up in a loose bun, while also being untied at the back. A few strands of hair had fallen over his eyes, mouth slightly open. You could hear him breathe very quietly, holding your own breath to prevent him from waking up because of any noise. Even though he wouldn't wake up so easily, but you still felt the need to not make a sound.

If you could take a picture of this very moment, you'd carry it with you anywhere you go. Your heart melts at the sight of him, you stand there almost dying from cuteness overload. There was no denying that you see him as more than just a friend, but you would never actually admit that to anyone. Some of your other friends knew about your little crush on him, but it looks like Xavier himself can't take a hint at all. You've tried dropping him subtle hints, some a little less subtle than others, but it has no use. He must be blind to not notice you flirting with him all the time, or at least try to. That or he knows you like him, but decides not to say anything about it, being too afraid to lose you as a friend because of it.

As you get lost in your own thoughts again, your eyes divert from his pretty face to what seems to be what he was drawing before he had drifted off into deep sleep, staring at what you see in shock.

Underneath his body, drawn on the paper, was you. He made a drawing of you petting a kitten near the lake. It had so much details in it, you would think that he made this on the spot while you were posing for it. Thinking back to when this happened, you remember it being from before you two were even friends. It was one of your first days at Nevermore and you hadn't made any friends yet, not any human friends at least. You had gone for a walk near the lake to clear your mind after class, meeting a cute little orange kitten while you were there. You don't remember anyone else being around, let alone it being Xavier.

It makes you wonder though, was he following you? If so, what was the reason? Even if that was a bit of a stalker move, you couldn't help but feel warm inside because of it. Maybe there was a chance he did like you more than a friend. You leaned in a little closer to him, pressing your lips lightly to his cheek. You don't know what came over you in that moment, but you really felt the need to do that. This might be the only time you get to do this, so why not.

Unfortunately that light touch was enough to wake sleeping beauty, Xavier's eyes fluttered open slowly and his arms pushed his body up from the table. He makes eye contact with you and frowns at the sight of you standing there so close to him in the middle of the night.

"What are you doing here?", he asked softly but his voice came out a little raspy.

You couldn't make a sound, your eyes nervously looking at Xavier, then at the drawing, and then back at Xavier. He followed the direction of your eyes, also looking at the drawing now. He had completely forgotten he was working on that before he fell asleep, his body filling with embarrassment now as he realizes what situation he's gotten himself into.

"Uh, I can explain..."

He got nervous and looked down at the floor, not wanting to look you in the eye right now. He knew he couldn't talk himself out of this, you needed an explanation and he couldn't think of a single excuse. His hands were fiddling with the hem of his shirt and his face was turning a dark shade of pink, his body language was telling you exactly what you needed to know.

Taking a deep breath before opening his mouth again to say something while still not looking at you, he was prepared to finally tell you how he feels about you. Before he could say a word you lifted his chin up and softly kissed his lips, catching him completely off guard. It didn't take very long for him to kiss you back though, he had been waiting for this moment for so long. It didn't happen the way he thought it would, but he was definitely not complaining about it.

His hands found their way to your waist and pulled you closer to him, you falling onto his lap as a result. After what felt like ages you slowly pulled away from him, not really wanting to but you needed to catch your breath.

For a moment it stays silent in the shed, neither of you making any noise. All that's happening is you two staring at each other, enjoying the moment while thinking about what just happened. Xavier is the first one to break the silence.

"Does this mean you like me? More than just a friend?", he asks hesitantly.

"Took you long enough to realize, I've been trying to tell you for so long but you never seem to notice.", you let out a soft laugh while wrapping your hands around his neck.

"Maybe you should do something about your flirting skills then, they're gonna need some improvement if your goal was to show me you liked me.", he couldn't stop himself from teasing you.

"Oh please, there's nothing wrong with my flirting skills. If you would just open your eyes for once you'd see-"

Before you had the chance to finish that sentence he smashed his lips on yours to shut you up. This time the kiss was much more passionate and lasted even longer than the previous one. You never could've imagined this was how your night was going to end.

[111ikuyuh]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚TRUST AND THE UNIVERSE ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Intro: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🦇hi everyone...im posting this to help you manifest, shift etc! So allow me to explain. If you want to shift or manifest...you have to trust in yourself. You literally don't even have to trust if its real or not but just trust in yourself and your power. I realized this after doing something regarding lucid dreaming. I was doing the mild technique and I didn't fully believe in it but i tried anyways...and yeah I didn't lucid dream but I realized something. I simply intended and visualized before bed to wake up at 3-4am and guess what? I did. 3:30 am or something I think. Even tho I didn't lucid dream, I had a small success that made me realize I literally just needed to try and trust it.

🦴Explaining: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕸So...what exactly even is trusting? Imagine going on a roller coaster as a child and your scared....but your mom or dad holds your hand and tells you your okay. You're still scared and may have your doubts but you do it anyways and end up having a great time. Think of trust as simply trying and believing regardless of the circumstances!

🦴Trust and the "3d": ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕷I dont exactly believe in the 3d. Think of the 3d as a complete illusion that you just happen to believe is real. The 3d is real, yes...but the 3d is also bullshit because YOU choose it all. You are in a reality where from birth we are programmed to think what Im saying is fake and that magic is fake...etc. But it's not! So remeber in that example about the scared kid with the roller coaster? Yeah...that fear is your "doubts". But those have zero power over you. And the care taker holding your hand? That's me and every other truthful manifestor and shifter telling you this. And you? You are the scared kid going to do this and totally rock this! You are going to trust and have faith (even if its little) and just believe. Remeber...the "3d" is just bs and a refelction of your thoughts. Oh you think this will take weeks to trust? No duh! If your thinking like that. What I want you to do is just remeber that the "3d" is JUST a reflection of your thoughts. And it is real but all you need to do is shift your awareness to that reality where you have blah blah or shift your awareness to your dr. Also if you didn't know...shifting and manifesting are the same thing but manifesting is like a "sub genre:" of shifting. I'll explain that in another post.

🦇Method: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕷This is a simple method I'm making up on the spot which will be similar to the intetion method. You can use this for manifesting And shifting. It's a few steps really 🦴STEP 1: Have desire 🦴STEP 2: The moment you think it you truly do have it. And if your like "you don't see it" no offence but you might as well start over cause that's how you "fail" hun. I dont care what the hell you see according to that dck "3d" THE FACT YOUR IMAGINING IT MEANS YOUR DESIRE IS THERE AND DONE. Trust in that. I dont care if it takes an entire year, the "3d" is forced to follow your desires if you persist and trust you really have it. It IS guaranteed but only if you make it guaranteed

☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆:

Ps...you can manifest and shift to whatever. You may have limits in this specific reality like you can't fly...but shift your awareness to a reality where you CAN fly. Everything you can an can't comprehend exists already through an infinite amount of realities. Manifesting is the same as shifting and is as easy as you make it. So yes you could manifest a unicorn if you want. Or if you want a long dck you can manifest it...you can manifest your ariana grande for gods sakeᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

xoxo, seifarria signed out♥♥

Edit: tbh...idk what I was yappin about here. Uhm...forget I made this unless it was actually useful to you but take this with a grain of salt. I had something here but I was wording it all weird. This is totally going into the gutters of my tumblr acc

[fondofcowboys]

here's my very all over the place feelings on certain aspects of baldur's gate 3 as a romani immigrant. warnings for spoilers of course. mind you i have not finished the game yet!

1. i really can't believe there aren't more people talking about the very blatant racism in astarion's questline. im quite sure it's because the game already touches on it, even giving you the choice to call astarion a racist, and also because everytime we roma talk about anything that makes us uncomfortable we're immediately shunned and "well actually!"'d.

the problem is that it feels Extra icky because the man who was the inspiration for the original dracula, Vlad the Impaler, kept romani slaves. this is the ONLY part of vampire history that, no matter how different the media, will always stay relevant for some reason.

castlevania has the seekers, a nomadic group of magic users who pass their history down orally. while they are *mostly* treated well, the first arc of the show literally shows them being hunted out of town for the simple act of existing.

vampire the masquerade... well.. that's an entire other can of racism worms.

curse of strahd has the "vistani", a nomadic group of people who are treated like third class citizens everywhere they go, and are of course, most known for being tarot readers and drunkards.

the vampire diaries have the "travellers", who get called "gypsies" explicitly as a derogatory word by other vampires.

i want you to take any vampire media you enjoy and ask yourself, "is there anti-roma racism in this?". i guarantee you, if you look for it, you're going to find it. for SOME reason, the only thing that stays consistent with all these different vampire IPs, is that romani people are hated and scrutinized at every moment of their lives.

i MORE than understand that astarion's racial insensitivity is part of him. it's part of what makes him malleable by the player. you can help him understand why he's wrong, or you can lead him down a worse path.

i still reserve the right to feel some sort of way about astarion sacrificing fantasy-romani children for power, willingly. don't get me wrong, he's my favourite character, right up there with halsin. which is why i obviously have so many feelings about this.

(yes, the Gur were written inspired by romani people, if you were not aware)

2. the anti-immigrant sentiment is such an inherent part of the story that i did not think was going to stick around for SO long. i dont really have much to say about this, i think i should've expected it. as a fan of dragon age (i know, tragic) i'm quite used to unnecessary fantasy racism everywhere i go, i just hoped it wouldn't be part of the main crucial story.

3. larian studios i am so so so thankful for the halsin romance. eternally. forever and ever. he's my pookie bear and i'm so grateful some extra time was made to create a romance for him.

can i ask you why the hell does halsin want to LEAVE. At The End. i've noticed how much he contradicts himself throughout his questline and i just... I don't know. i've seen some other people complaining about how non-chalantly he talks about being a sex slave and i understand too, but i think it's part of his character to not take the horrible things that happened to him seriously like he does with others. that, or someone at larian took an unknown substance that led them to make halsin Very inconsistent.

with the poly situation, some people are strictly polyamorous! some people are strictly non-monogamous and do not feel comfortable being in a monogamous relationship. i understand the frustration everyone, but that's how halsin is. i dont know if that was the writers' intention, but that's certainly what he comes across as to me; strictly non-monogamous.

what i DONT understand is why he says he only wants you, calls you "my heart", is so fondly and lovingly attached to you, and then he just.... Dips? Whatever. I'm ignoring that part forever. it's not canon to ME!

anyways. yeah. feel free to Engage in some Friendly conversation. emphasis on friendly, for the love of g-d

[fictionkinfessions]

@ 744442324213530624/new-kin-agony-when-people-take-the-gs-off-words

Hey! Lets not pretend that people kinning from "problematic media" automatically means they support it or its creators! Thats actually really fucking mean! Especially when your wording goes as far as to imply they are invalid as kins!!! Let people have critical thinking skills. And How many times does it have to be said that people do not choose their kins (or fictives, which are also applicable here even though you did not mention them) before people stop acting like this! Its ridiculous! It's annoying!

Your "positivity" toward Eridan is meaningless when Homestuck is ALSO deemed problematic media by many people (and agreed, certainly didnt age well in many aspects) while you condem anyone who touches a different one.

You can choose not to interact with people who kin from things like Hazbin, but I refuse to let you put my fellow kinfolk down because you think Eridan holds exclusive authority over "not using g", or that Eridan's source ISNT full of issues as well.

~An Eridan kin, who also happens to kin Husk. What a funny coincidence. (/s)

p.s. its also just weird to act like not using g in "ing" words is exclusive to only these two characters. My Quirk isnt being basterdized. Many people who dont even kin dont type a g all the fucking time what the fuck.

Anonymous asked:

Hi Im the Eridan that just sent in an ask response and I realized I should include a very clear obvious example of Homestuck also having flaws. Mpc Please add this onto the other ask.

I AM CANOTICALLY A FACIST. ANON. ANON DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF.

I know fandom widley ignores that because really what the fuck was that, but LETS NOT PRETEND THAT ERIDAN IS A PURE CHARACTER COMPARED TO SOME POOR GUY WITH ALCOHOL AND GAMBLING ADDICTIONS.

NEITHER OF THESE SOURCES ARE PERFECT. BOTH ARE FLAWED. ONE IS JUST HATED MORE RIGHT NOW THAN THE OTHER.

Anonymous asked:

maybe... DON'T bully people for who they kin? we don't kin for fun, dude. most people can't control it. i hate hazbin hotel, too, but that isn't an excuse to say this shit. ESPECIALLY sending it into a blog where a bunch of hazbin kinfolk have been kinfessing, so you're clearly aware at least one husk kin is going to see it.

#sid🪞

party note if anyone wants to continue this converastion plase like reply or reblog this post. no further ask responses will be posted for it. thank you.

[ichinoue]

"Well guys, it's 2023 and here's another dolt ranting about pronouns in the lust arc, just like the IH Fail essay that ended up being a fail in and of itself."

No its 2023 and people are deciding to keep ot real with you instead of deluding themselves and changing fhe narrtive to cater to a ship.

Respectfully, lets not speak on a language we dont know shit about, lmao.

Ichigo omits the pronoun when he tells rukia 'i've come to save you' in soul society that's because he was literally speaking to her, had been bickering with her from the previous page and had already told her he was there to rescue her back on the bridge - so he didn't need to specify to her 'who' he'd come to save: this is a typical example of "japanese omitting pronouns because they're obvious"

in the lust arc, ichigo is quite literally unconscious and unaware of his surroundings: in order to make it clear to the readers that ichigo recognized orihime, a pronoun (actually not even, he should have used her damn name like ichigo always did when he thought about rukia in ss) **needed** to be there without it, especially coupled with the fact that he speaks in broken japanese from that moment to the end of his transformation (i.e. he uses a mix of kanji and katakana, the latter of which is only used for foreign words, robots or - in bleach's case - hollows, and usually to signify that the speaker is just muttering sounds and doesn't understand the actual meaning of what they're saying), and the fact that he literally quite literally proceeds to throw orihime off the dome with absolutely no care for her well being, it's damn obvious that he had no idea who was yelling at him, he was only aware of the fact that someone was asking for help and got triggered by the word 'save'

"I mean this is just hilarious to me. Here's Orihime and Ichigo, literally placed together in side by side panels as Ichigo continues to chant about protecting...And ichiruki shippers are like, "hmmm well, it's not super clear who he's talking about because there's no pronoun so...I guess we'll never know 🤷‍♀️."

So being places together in panels side by side means he's referring to her? May I remind u he's just raised from the dead, and orihime is shocked as she processes what's happening. Those panels were to emphasise that. Not only have u attempted to educate me on the Japanese language and failed, you've now tried to say side by side panels somehow equates to the fact that he's referring to her? 💀.

"You think Kubo drew this^ entire page, at such a pivotal moment, to show that Orihime's...wrong? Like some sort of gag? She's just *imagining* that Ichigo rose up for her, but it's not actually true? That's...certainly an interesting way to interpret things lmao."

This was orihimes own perception of the situation. Orihime isn't a fact page, she's her own charecter with her own dialogue and thought. The fact she perceived it that way doenst mean its the case. She didn't imagine anything, it jsut looked that way too her, may I remind you she was the one screaming. She knows she's the person the screams belong too, ichigo doesn't. So of course she's gonna think it's here fault, common sense people.

You also proceeded to bring more asspulls and try and say how the databook confirms its about orihime when it was in third person.

"The readers aren't the ones who bound Ichigo to Orihime's screams (especially not you, anon, since you keep insisting it had nothing to do with her lmao). Kubo did that. That's how he meant for this scene to be interpreted: that Ichigo was bound to Orihime's screams. But you're still here fighting against it for some reason lol."

Did kubo tell u that he meant for the scene to be interpretated this way? Or did some angel come to you in ur dream and tell u that? If thats true, kubo wouldve simply added confirmation that hes talking about orihime by adding pronouns or her name. Instead he doesnt do that and has ichigo propell her away

He was bound to her screams, it's just that he didn't know the screams belonged to her, as long as those screams belonged to someone, he's gonna get up... that's who he is. It could've been anyone else screaming there and he would've stood his ass the fuck up, that's his charecter and what he does. Lmao you think this would go without saying, but the lengths ppl go for shipping is hilarious.

"Ichigo did know she was calling out to him. It was part of his internal monologue, as she's screaming, before he hollowfied. Whether the pronoun is there or not (because again, the pronoun for her doesn't *need* to be there to make it clear who he's talking about when she's clearly the only person screaming, placed directly next to a panel of him rising him up...) he could hear her voice. He could hear her calling him. He ruminated over ORIHIME'S screams and was bound to ONLY that purpose. Only her. "

He could hear her voice, he just didn't know it was her. Just that it was somebody, it's not that hard to grasp. There's nothing wrong with ichigo not knowing it's orihime but since shipping has rotten yalls brains, it has to be about the Princess hime, and not about ichigos own charecter, because everything has to be about orihime, right? (💀).

Your opinion on this probably won't change, that's granted as a deluded shipper. What also won't change, is the fact that this isn't an ichihime moment. U attempted to educate me on the japanese language and failed, I recommend doing more research time. I also reccomend not bothering to reply to things like these if ur arguement is just gonna end with "well ichihime is canon, deal with it" because it makes u look silly to say the least, and has nothing to do with the convo.

how i sleep knowing ichigo literally rose up from the dead for his future wife 🥰

[000portal]

I DONT KNOW WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS BUT GROINAL RESPONSE (tingling, warmth, etc) TO INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS IS A NORMAL AND STUDIED TRAIT OF INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS.

(these are DIRECT quotes from this great psychology today article)

So, you just encountered, or thought about, someone, when suddenly, something “down there” tingles or moves.

The problem is that this person would be an inappropriate sexual partner—a minor, a religious figure, an authority figure, a same-sex partner if you’re straight, an opposite-sex partner if you're gay, etc.

Panic sets in, and you’re flooded with unwanted, repugnant, intrusive thoughts and images about having sex with this person.

You ask yourself, “What does this mean?”

What if it means I am a pervert? A pedophile? A monster? What if I am lying to myself and my partner about my sexual orientation? What if I am bad? What if I lose control one day and do something awful?

You begin to peel back from the things you once enjoyed, from people you love, desperately trying to keep a lid on everything. What started as a meaningless spasm has turned your life into a nightmare.

Many such OCD sufferers also experience unwanted genital sensations that activate a cascade of “what if” questions, over-interpretations, and compulsive monitoring. In the OCD community, this sensation is referred to as the groinal response.

It’s a mismatch between our real desires and our body’s response. However, just like any intrusive thought that a person may have, a groinal response is not confirmation that your fears are real. 

//Why does this happen?

[Every surface of your skin and organs] are all wired to neurons or nerves that send sensory information to your brain. These signals are live at all times, even when you don’t notice them. Attention is what drives sensation most of the time. Focus on your hands, feet, or shoulders for a few seconds, and you’ll become aware of a low-grade tingle that is always present, constantly firing. Focus on your genitals, and you’ll notice the same. In other words, there is always a sensation in your genitals waiting to be detected.

The genitals are super densely represented in the nervous system. They are like 24/7 signal stations firing haptic data to your brain. You are more likely to feel meaningless sensations there than other body parts, like the top of your head.

Not all genital sensation is sexual. [Some genital] nerves go to the somatosensory cortex, which processes neutral touch sensation. Others go to the deep center of your brain (the limbic system) which processes pleasure and displeasure, excitement and fear. These two regions communicate both when you are turned on and when you are not. Therefore, it is very common to experience sensation (somatosensory cortex) without sexual arousal, depending on how your limbic system interacts with the sensory cortex.

According to some estimates, there is only a 10 to 50 percent concordance between sensation in the genitals and actual sexual pleasure. This means that 50 to 90 percent of the time, any tingling, moving, flushing, or hardening down there is non-sexual, be it neutral or fear-based.

Anxiety is a form of arousal, and all forms of arousal make your blood flow. Sexual arousal and fear arousal have many of the same bodily symptoms.

6. Arousal drives attention to the source of danger. But what happens when the threat is the groinal response?

Fear (and excitement) cause a narrowing of attention. Some people call this tunnel vision. It is very difficult to think about anything other than the perceived threat when you are afraid. So, if fear-arousal causes a groinal response, they are unlikely to notice it.

But what happens when the threat is the groinal response? Where is your attention going to go in triggering situations? That’s right. It goes directly to the groin and the anxious-arousal symptoms that may be occurring there. Before you know it, you quickly get caught in a loop of increased anxiety, → increased fear-arousal, → increased attention → increased sensation.

// What can you do instead?

Accept the groinal response as normal. Cease compulsive checking and analyzing of the region. Learn how to do body scan meditations (this will help you reverse your attention bias). Practice exposure and response prevention (ERP) by going into everyday situations that you are now avoiding without performing rituals (i.e., no checking, analyzing, reassurance-seeking, etc.).

As always, seek out the support of a qualified therapist to help you through these steps. Many sufferers get better with the right therapeutic support from someone who gets it.

[amarayys]

DRDT CHP 2 EPISODE 12 SPOILERS!!

OKAY so according to a tweet from DRDTdev apparantly the whole fandom misinterpreted David's words and he actually doesn't remember Xander from before?? which like...it's kind of funny lmao. this means that David is just trying to kill everyone for a person he heard of online and then was friends with for like. a few days. which is really funny to me. .... .... ..... BUT YOU KNOW WHO DOES REMEMBER SOMETHING??????? teruko (I love you teruko but you're so stupidly suspicious). maybe she isn't aware of it, maybe she is, but THIS LINE.

Which, weird enough. But then VERONIKA says

Okay, even weirder. before we begin: 1. i suck at theories. 2. i suck at formatting, too. 3. this was made at like 1 am. so dont count on some points here being particulary sane. 4. Points that are started with "-" are just extra inputs that aren't too relevant, but I thought i should bring up anyway. So. Veronika, of all people, doesn't know about a killing game that happened in the past. You could argue: "But Amari, what if the killing game was covered up/erased from history?" Hm.. maybe, but this has some holes. A past killing game is a weird thing to *not* know about. If Teruko's talking about THH, that was broadcasted (worldwide, I think... but I can't remember. Even if it was only brodcasted in Japan, you'd think the news would spread, especially with the internet.) , you'd think most people, ESPECIALLY Veronika would know about it. We know from Min's bonus episode that students were taught about the tragedy, and someone like Veronika definitely wouldn't forget about a killing game that happened during it easily. If it was another killing game not related to the main dr games (ill explain this more later, I swear) , I'd still imagine people would know about it. I'm going to take a complete guess here and say it's not too unlikely that if a past killing game happened, it was broadcast similar to our current one. Same argument as before, people would know about it. If it wasn't broadcast, I still don't think it would be very easy to cover up a killing game. Remember - Veronika is the Ultimate Horror Fanatic. She is quite literally *THE BEST* at researching and knowing about this stuff. If Veronika doesn't know about it, Teruko, who kind of lives under a rock, (me too , me too.) being the only one as far as we know to remember it is WEIRD. Also, before someone says "what about memory erasure?" that answers Veronika, but why does Teruko know about it? - However, if it was covered up, I think it's quite likely the company who Min mentions in her bonus episode has something to do with it. Why? Cause introducing too many companies and sht would be confusing. Not very strudy arguement, I know, but I have a feeling the company is more connected to this than we think. Teruko knows about a past killing game. Which killing game is Teruko referencing? Is she referencing THH, or something completely separate? Like... a past killing game she was in? Okay, I'm reaching, but hear me out, okay? It's sort of maybe kind of implied that Teruko was in a past killing game.

This line is said by the guy at the start of the prologue (WHICH IM LIKE 90% SURE IS XANDER BUT THAT'S UNRELATED TO THIS.) , after they claim they have to end a killing game. Why do we need to kill sweet, amazing, perfect Teruko? Well, here are some ideas. 1. Teruko is responsible for the past killing game, or is at least the reason it's happening. Not necessarily the mastermind of it, more similar to the theory where the killing game was made to contain Teruko's bad luck (context because yeah). Not necessarily her fault, but she is the reason for it. I'd like to point out that this matches up scarily well with what basically the whole fandom agrees is Teruko's secret.

(How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault.) ...oh my. What if the killing game referred to in the secret isn't the current one? To be fair, all the above does match up with if this secret was referring to the current killing game, but I still think it's viable. 2. Teruko did something to someone and that someone wants revenge. What is "something"? Well, it could be again that the killing game is her fault, but probably not. "someone" could be PROLOUGE GUY AGAIN. I have this really weird theory that Teruko is the one who attacked prolouge guy with the fork (aka xander check out this post for clarification) - Technically, David could also be the one wanting revenge, as he also tried to kill Teruko (indirectly, through failing the trial) , but then Xander stabbing Teruko makes no sense. Xander writes future himself a note (the one saying "Kill Teruko Tawaki, again, whole other theory i can talk more on if you want) explaining the attack, and telling him to kill Teruko, as he thinks she is the mastermind or just an unsafe person (which, fair??) - And if we really want to start reaching, Xander is the mastermind and made the killing game in an attempt to kill Teruko. But like... is the killing game necessary? Why not just kill her regularly? Her luck preventing her death, maybe? This entire point is based on theories, though. So probably not lmao. I want to say point 2 but I think realistically I've gotta go with point 1. There's actually some evidence supporting it, unlike point 2. For Veronika's memory, the memory erasure does actually work here. MonoTV probably wanted interesting shit to happen, or it couldn't erase that part of Teruko's memory without her noticing a large gap in her memories and getting suspiscious. Now, let me get some stuff cleared up. I don't think Teruko remembers actually being in a killing game before present time, just that there was one. She brushes her memory off as just not paying attention in history when Veronika denies a killing game happening before this one (though she does hesitate when Veronika points this out - which is VERY weird) so she probably has *some* fuzzy memories regarding the past killing game.

- If my theory of her attacking prologue guy is correct, I don't think she remembers doing it. As i've mentioned way too many times, I think prologue guy is Xander, and she didn't seem wary whatsoever when she first met Xander, which you think she would be if she knew him, let alone attacked him. SUMMARY: 1. Teruko and Xander were in a past killing game together. At some point, Teruko attacks Xander's eye, although we aren't sure why. Xander realises that she's to blame for the killing game, and writes a note to himself, telling him to get rid of Teruko, and then he passes out. 2. Teruko and Xander meet in our current killing game. Teruko doesn't recognise Xander (or she at least doesn't have time to dwell on the faint memories she does have on him before he passes out), and stays around him for a lot of the killing game. Xander's memory was probably erased, but I'm not sure whether he had the note yet or not. 3. Xander goes stabbity stab stab on Teruko, due to the note. he panics, questioning why he made himself stab her. Teruko might have gotten a flash of memories (you know, the saying my life flashed before my eyes when something life threatening happens??), causing her to tell Xander that his plan wont work because she cant die. 4. (this point is straight flavour text) After Teruko wakes up, she might've remembered a bit more about the killing game, although still not the whole story. (playing into why she was so much more distrustful) Maybe she remembered knowing Xander at some point? Nothing too important regarding Teruko's memory happens after this. this summary really sucks, please dont take this too seriously. just some points to keep in mind.

Anddd yeah. That's it. This has so many holes but it's 1 am, I'm tired and cant be bothered to fix them lmao. Just thought I should give my input. I might edit over this tomorrow, who knows.

[ghostlyvoidshark]

Hnnnghhdhdh thoughts of the sillies forever haunts me. Someone please worsen my brainrot I need to write something. The words wont word right but im trying.

The best I have right now is thinking about how the skelebois would react to someone with tourette-syndrome (because I have it and self indulgence in creative works is great.)

Please let me know your ideas and stuff about this and if you want more guys with other stuff or more reacting to this!

Sans

Very patient with you and honestly would probably not care unless something is timed funny / a silly response. I personally wouldn't be offended and would probably laugh at myself too. Like something happens - maybe he made a comment about something like the price of a ketchup bottle and you reply with a tic like "yippee" and you both end up snorting. Maybe it even becomes an inside joke. "How cheap is it?" / "dont worry its yippee certified."

Wouldn't ever antagonize your tics. He may joke (after a convo about boundaries and if youre genuinely okay with jokes) but he doesnt echo you / encourage you to tic for humors sake or anything else.

He doesn't personally understand tics and how it feels to do it but he understands pain and would 100% be there to help you out when / if you have painful tics. If you allow it he'll get you soothing items and distract you if it will help. Just let him know and he's got you.

If you develop a tic related to him he'll lowkey find it endearing. Like he isn't sure if its because you like him or if it's just a coincidence but he smiles a bit wider when you do it. (Stars help him if you develop a pun related tic like repeating his or saying one)

I usually have happy tics (probs something tied to stimming but it feels like a tic.) So i can imagine if you tell him the related tic is because youre happy he would melt on the inside. Especially when he realizes you echo him because you think hes funny. He has buried his face in a pillow to hide his blush after you leave. Papyrus has teased him for this.

Has on occasion made people uncomfortable for antagonizing you. Like glaring or making pointed jokes to rude people. He'll try to call them out first just in case they don't realize they're being harmful but if they don't care then He'll make them.

Papyrus

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Yeah, its just -" *explains tourettes*

"OH! OKAY! :] "

Literally as simple as that. He doesn't draw anymore attention to it or really notice it unless you bring it up. Like he just writes it off as a thing that happens and adjusts quick.

If you're okay with it he'll inform people you have it when they get confused. He figures it must be tiring constantly explaining yourself, but worry not! He loves sharing information and explaining things! Especially when its helpful! Not to mention when the topic can educate others on how to be more respectful and informed on others disabilities. So he sees it as an all around good thing and wouldnt be bothered at all to help. (Also he isnt going to just announce this about you, only saying things in convo if ppl ask)

Also, even if you prefer he not say anything, he will educate himself on the subject so he can be a better help and have a better understanding just in case the subject ever comes up later or he meets someone else with tics. It also doesn't hurt to be aware and conscious of these types of things!

I feel like he's respectful enough to let you finish your sentences but if you struggle really hard he might try to help. He'd gently ask a question about what youre trying to say and suggest words to help. He wont do it again if you ask him to stop - hes not doing it maliciously after all. He just doesn't want you to feel frustrated with yourself.

Is a tiny bit (actually very much) hyped when you echo him or have a tic related to him. He asks if its a good thing (like not a stress tic or smth) and if you say yes then he kinda taps his feet / jogs in place and squeals like an exited fan. Says soemthing along the lines of "I AM HONORED TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING YOU DO TO EXPRESS POSITIVE EMOTIONS!"

Awe and if you copy his laugh? Like echoing it when you're happy or smth he is beaming with pride like he's the sun itself. Because!! His laugh!!! It makes you happy and you want to do it with him!!! Kcjdjsns

Actually surprisingly (or not so surprisingly) helpful with painful tics and tic attacks. He is very good at getting you what you need to soothe you / make things less painful and stressful.

Would lecture someone for antagonizing you.

Red

Unusually patient with you finishing sentences and stuff. He kinda just sees any stutters or interruptions as part of the sentence. Like if someone were to get sidetracked or mutter something - he sees it like that. Sometimes he gets frustrated if you struggle to say something for a bit but its not at you. Its at the fact that he isn't getting what you mean when you try to explain without the troublesome word or if you continue to try to say it and it doesn't click in his head.

His immediate reaction is to side eye you but he doesn't make a big deal out of it. He'll probably comment on it like "you gettin' possessed?" But after you explain hes like "oh." And backs off. Might make some jokes before even processing that it could be offensive. Like not jokes about you being broken or negative stuff (hes trying not to be so rough around the edges lol) but just puns about the tics and jokes about glitches or something.

Probably would be the most ... "normal" about it. Wouldn't really ignore them or treat it like its a sensitive topic. Will point out when its funny (in a non harmful way), asks about them sometimes, and makes small comments here and there. For example if you make a weird gesture he'll tease you about it saying stuff like "castin' spells?" Or "I agree" to something you said that makes no sense.

Never thinks to antagonize your tics. Like yeah, he jokes, but he just doesnt think about it or think to avoid it. He just doesnt.

Gives mean looks and snaps at people who do it. He'll be nonchalant about it at first like "hey man, fuck off with that." But if they keep on he'll get more aggressive.

Kinda awkward with the painful ones at first. He thinks you probably just want to get through it and move on because pain isn't something normally expressed for him so he kinda just subtly goes easy on you without really drawing attention to it. If you express it more openly and/or he gets more comfortable he will try to help you out. He understands having aches and pains from things you can't really help (like wounds and scars) so he'll try to apply what he knows and what you tell him helps.

Grim

A little impatient but tries his best to be polite. He understand its not your fault, and he doesnt blame you for any irritation he has, he just gets antsy when things arent efficient. (Hes working on it.) At least he doesnt rush you or anything... yay?

Other than that he has a "i don't care" attitude about it. Yes yes, its a part of you, so what? He doesn't mean anything by it, he just doesn't see it as something worth acknowledging, really. It's like noticing someone has curly hair. Its there, it might be something worth noting at first, but then you just forget about it until its relevant.

Doesnt care if something is funnily timed either. You can have fun with it but he isnt bothered. But if you have a response to something he says, tic or otherwise, he instinctively takes it as a genuine response lmao.

"HM, THESE NOODLES HAVE BETTER INGREDIENTS BUT THESE ONES HAVE THE PERFECT SHAPE FOR WHAT I WANT TO DO."

*tic: " mac n cheese"

"NO, MACARONI NOODLES WOULD NOT SUFFICE."

Like he doesn't process it entirely that its a tic and kinda just responds seriously. Its kinda funny tbh. You'll probably end up giving up on explaining its a tic anyways if you try so itd be easier to go along with it. (He argues that it is rude not to respond and he is taking his manners seriously now that he is out the underground.)

Will rock someones shit for being disrespectful and antagonizing you. Like maybe not physically but he will verbally rip someone to shreds. Like its pathetic to antagonize someone for something so basic for no reason. Is this person serious? Being rude over something so minor. No, its not funny. What is funny is how this person thinks they can just start shit and be a nuisance with no consequences. People like them would've gotten their teeth knocked in for behaving that way. People at least knew not to be assholes for no reason. (They had a system of 'i leave you alone you leave me alone' unless someone was after something like power or money or whatever. You always had a reason to do violent things. It was normalized, but it wasn't barbaric. )

[jennilah]

I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.

I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.

I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes

omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao

actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)

ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.

There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".

so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.

yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:

-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw

I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.

my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.

sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)

which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.

and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)

this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck

(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)

and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway

anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!

tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰