#your mum jokes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

applesfallingfromblondehair · 8 months

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the highlight of my day: men in their mid twenties making "your mum" jokes

#the 1975 #xfm mixtapes #matty healy #adam hann #ross macdonald #george daniel #that's a pound for the mum jar #your mum jokes

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itzkiwi · 5 months

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…*’Relatable mood board~+.🌿

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caruliaa · 1 year

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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

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cloverleaf689randomstuffidk · 5 months

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Branzy has a new guy for every smp he joins

Proof? He dated chief in echocraft,

then rizzed up clown in lifesteal,

and then married skip in the no name smp.

and some random dude in kaboodle smp has a crush on him? (i’m sorry my memory’s shit i forgo his name)

This silly little gay fella is becoming too strong for his own good, he’s going to rizz your mum next.

#lifesteal smp #branzycraft #clownpierce #skip the tutorial #echocraft #kaboodlesmp #no name smp #silly block man being little gay #that chief guy #jokes on you he married your mum too haha #he literally could just be chilling and some rando asks to marry him like bruh

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kavehater · 1 month

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I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”

#the same people who would shriek like the witch of the north melting her skin off if I tell you haikaveh / kavetham isn’t implied because #if you actually look into our culture they’re being normal and not everyone having rivalry and caring about each other means they’re 💅#in fact Arabs are some of the worlds most hospitable people alhaitham letting kaveh live with him #is the most Arab thing I’ve ever seen #heck if kaveh was a stranger it wouldn’t be unusual for an Arab to let him in their house ☠️#goddamn #“if you look in the internet you can see how they’re implied!🤓☝️”#maybe if you had any respect for my culture or any desire to be educated when I’m handing this to you for free you wouldn’t be your mistake #your mums greatest mistake 🤗🤗🤗*#dora daily #if only ppl dedicated this level of detail to actual culture compared to pulling out their microscope at level 100x magnification lens to #observe robins spots under her eyes the world would be a better place 🙀#let me tell you btw this whole I hate you meh meh meh ( I’m so in love with you ) trope is the most whitest booktok millennial plant growing #basement dweller nonesense I have ever heard in my life don’t do that to my pookies ☹️#( the pookies in fact were 11 and 9 years older than her respectively )#guys my dad is the straightest man alive ( oh the trauma lowkey wish he wasn’t ) and he legit was putting his hand on his best friends lap #LMAOOO even I as a very logical person was like bro this is so zesty rn I am SO uncomfortable #anyways live laugh love boothill x Baizhu they’re the most canon things I’ve ever seen in my life #<- this is a joke btw it’s an ironic ship I saw on tiktok ☠️

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oifaaa · 1 year

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#Polls #like chads captain of the football team #but so is brad #our school had to create another football team #so they could both be captains #brad like to make jokes about fucking your mum and your dad #hes inclusive like that #but im pretty sure chad actually has fucked my mum and dad #like i caught him sneaking out of their bedroom at 4am last week

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hella1975 · 8 months

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basically threw away £20 on my nails today so was already getting weird bc i apparently cannot be normal about money and then my paycheck came through just for my manager to have knocked off 11 hours worth of pay. so naturally i am crying in a dark room about it

#this is such a girl moment wdym you’re crying about your fucking nails. couldn’t explain it to you if i tried #im just an utter FREAK about money and then for my payslip to get fucked as well. whyyyyy would you do that #im not built for the working world truly idk how sensitive people do it bc i am NOT im tough as shit 99% of the time and i STILL can’t deal #just give me my fucking money it’s not fair 😭😭😭 i worked hard 😭😭😭#and the dumbest brattiest part of this is that the thing that tipped me over the edge is that my mum didn’t offer to pay for my nails #like how ridiculous and spoiled is that but still i was so so angry at myself about fucking them up and it’s £25 to get them done tomorrow #and I’ve worked so hard for her this summer and both days I’ve been in town I’ve got her things #like nothing spenny but I’ve just thought of her and got her things I know she’d like just to be nice #and £25 is NOTHING TO HER AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OFFER 😭😭 she even joked it off #she was like ‘your dad would offer to pay if he was here but I believe in lessons’ GIRL FUCK YOUR LESSONS I WANT MY NAILS DONE 😭😭😭#why am i actually in tears over this. this is so silly. now all my money is fucked and im going to be the skint one when we go to dublin #AS USUAL. even though i worked hard and clocked the hours it still got fucked bc im fucking. cursed #im aware im being dramatic and this isn’t even about the amount of money i have atm i promise this isn’t some desperate bankruptcy claim #like for once im actually fine money wise it’s just all been FUCKED and my dates are now FUCKED bc i have to wait for next paycheck now #and it’s so unfair bc usually things go wrong for me bc im DUMB and mess it up LIKE MY NAIL APPOINTMENT #but for work and dublin i literally planned it perfectly and did the hours and it still didn’t work #like what is WRONG with me. i hate being an adult i need a sugar daddy ive had enough #the message I sent my manager…. scathing…. ik his scared of confrontation ass is panicking. give me my fucking MONEY #hella goes home

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occasionaltouhou · 11 months

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regular touhou #23: local hakurei onmyouji successfully defeats demon through advanced technique "hit her on the head real good"

#touhou #singyoku #occasional art #non-occasional touhou #this is a lazy one sorry. i couldn't come up with a good joke for em #tbh my headcanon for singyoku has always been that they're reimu's mums and they had a weird gay thing going on #'why does reimu beat them up then' reimu beats everyone up. also sometimes you just gotta fight your mum

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blackberryjambaby · 6 months

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fake dating AUs appeal to me because i would absolutely do that shit. in fact if any of you need a fake partner i will happily back up any & all lies you tell people about us

#rj speaks #i'm not joking . you want someone off your back? you want them to see what they're missing? your mum's getting weird about the fact that #your younger sibling/cousin/her friend's younger child has a partner & you don't? just bored? i will fake date you for free #in fact 'just bored' gets you priority over anyone else because that's an infinitely funnier reason to get in a fake relationship

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not-equippedforthis · 1 year

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