#zaphod headcanons

[rockabully]

so yeah! theyre all trans i think. except for arthur idk if i want him to be cis or not. my bf is really making me consider trans though

[shittyh2g2headcanons]

Zaphod's two heads have conflicting fashion senses, but they compromise. Which would explain his questionable outfits

[kittimu]

the only headcanon that matters: zaphod entered a zaphod beeblebrox lookalike contest trying to get free money and lost to a drag king

[dingoskidneys]

I have so many headcanons that I've simply deluded myself into believing are canon... Jokes aside I love how much Zaphod and Arthur hate each other. Frenemies

[cm2tfemotd]

Todays Canon Male to Transfem Headcanon is Zaphod Beeblebrox from Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy! it is a genderfluid transfem that uses it/he/she! also dating trillian!

[the-trans-advice-blog]

Trans headcanons, most thought out to least thought out:

Ford Prefect (hg2g) transmasc, any pronouns

Arthur Dent (hg2g) intersex trans man, he/him

Zaphod Beeblebrox (hg2g) demiguy, it/he

Trillian (hg2g) enby transfem, she/her

Ford Pines, Stan Pines, Mable Pines, Dipper Pines, Lazy Susan, Sheriff Blubs (gravity falls) are all trans in some way

Lars, Sadie, Kiki, Jenny and Buck (Steven Universe) are both also trans

Wirt, Jason Funderberker, the Woodsman, Beatrice, Lorna, Auntie Whispers, Sara, Jimmy Brown, Margueritte Grey, the Toy Maker and the Tavern Keeper (OtGW) are also all trans lol

(I'm still undecided with my TMA headcanons)

That's all I can think of off the top of my head

[(!!Love your blog!!)]

-Robert the Rodent

I’m very surprised that I actually know all of these characters but you are so so right. Trans headcanons are so silly and fun!!

[shini--chan]

Hello! I’ve read your Alfred x ColdWarSpy one shot and the oneshot of Alfred x Spy who’s target is England/England x Spay who’s target is America.

I love the way you portray Alfred! Someone on here once described him as: brilliant, ambitious, and ruthless. A combination of the superhero myths: Clark Kent & Lex Luthor, Captain America & Winter Soldier.

I love how you can portray him as still the sunny persona, and some of that may be part of his real self, but also the ruthless superpower that people forget about.

What more thoughts do you have on him?

Quick note: answering asks in a non-chronological order at the moment so that I can get around to emptying the ask box

Ooooo... another person who digs stirringwinds’s stuff. We stan. Also, thank you for the kind words.

In total, I have plenty of headcanons for almost all the Hetalia character’s, partially due to me being quiet the history buff. Warning for plenty of TV Tropes references, because I’m that sort of person that also uses TV Tropes as a Getaway Drug, so links!

Aside from the aforementioned characters that America shares parallels with, I see him having a lot in common with Indiana Jones. They are both the sort of figures that hold strong to a certain code, although with Alfred it often goes into the territory of American Execptionalism – a lot of the Utopia Justify the Means making him in the eyes of plenty of the other nations and even people a Well-Intentioned Extremist. This would also have some truth to it, given that his Puritan background would have left marks. Also has a habit of using Indy Ploys in which he has no concrete plan and just improvises as he goes. Has some negative side effects in larger operations, where he would need a more detailed plan aside from vague goals of establishing freedom and democracy or something of the sort. In simple terms, his thought process would sometimes be like this:

Situation A happens

Stuff happens

Situation B comes into effect.

Big on the Obfuscating Stupidity. On some part he is also very silly, and would just want to have some fun. On the other he would just want people to underestimate him. Think of Zaphod Beeblebrox from Hitchhikker’s Guide to the Galaxy. At times can also be as vain and narcissistic.

On both of the upper points – he has a tendency to over think matters at times, leading to the Centipede’s Dilemma. But because that’s one of the things he is generous enough to share, he loves invoking it in others. May or may not have killed Arthur in the past by yelling “Which foot goes next?” when the latter was running down the stairs, causing his father to stumble and break his neck. Yes, Alfred suffers from Comedic Sociopathy, especially when it comes to people he doesn’t really like.

Apropos people he doesn’t like – while Alfred is at times inclusive and loves experiencing other cultures, that wouldn’t apply to morality. Nations have difference moral nuances, things they consider right and wrong that can differ from their neighbour. America is of the opinion that his way is the right way – other modes of thinking would either be tolerated or outright condemned.

Torn between wanting to have adventure and a desire for a simple life. In that sense, he always functions best while living on a frontier, where he would have a mix of both. Always has new ideas, many seeming hare-brained to outsiders, and even to himself in retrospect. But he loves to be a Pioneer, so he won’t let anybody stop him, until it is too late, that is.

Is a surprisingly good cook, although it often involves things that other people wouldn’t eat. Literally can’t stick to the recipe because he would always want to try out something new. As such, he would seldom make the same thing twice. Except steak – the steak must be rare and the tea of the southern sweet variety or else.

Ranges from being a Southern Gentlemen to a loud and rude New Yorker with all of that Brooklyn Rage and everything in between. Though, aside from that, he would often put on the guise of that All-American Boy and turn up that Hollywood Charm.

I shall finish here before it gets out of hand, though you peeps are free to request more in the future.

[sochawrites]

Requesting rules

There's a list of requests that are currently sent in via ask, since I know how much Tumblr likes to eat those

Wait 24 hours, if your request isn't there at that point, and wasn't answered, send it again

Please try and specify whether you want headcanons or a drabble/ fic/ one-shot/ scenario when requesting

I write for

Slashers

Michael Myers (OG, RZ, Peepaw*) Yautja

DC

Bane (comics, nolan verse)

Red Dwarf

David Lister Arnold Rimmer

Considering writing for**

Hellboy Zaphod Beeblebrox Eddie Brock (+Venom)

*if comfortable

**these will take a bit longer, but you can request for them

I won't write

Pedophilia Incest Suicide/ self-harm Some kinks (If you're not sure whether I'm ok with them or not, you can always ask prior, I don't bite) Smut*** Rape/non-con

I will write

Platonic! reader (this does include child/kid reader) Gender-neutral!reader/ fem!reader Trans!reader/ male!reader**** Smut*** The usual (fluff, angst, hurt-comfort...)

*** My virgin ass is not comfortable with writing smut fics, since, u know, no experience in that area, but nsfw headcanons might be alright

**** As a cis woman, I can only try my best, but there's no guarantee it will be accurate, so proceed and heed the warning...

[rathockey]

what are some of your favorite hg2g headcanons??

oooo great question

ford and arthur are just in a cycle of dating and breaking up at literally any possible inconvenience or fight. and they ARE divorced perpetually

ford rarely gets sick but when he does he's the WORLDS BIGGEST BABY about it, like that meme where the guy has a cold and acts like he's dying? yeah thats ford

this is not a headcanon but i need to share it this post is 100% ford and arthur and it will be the basis of the time loop fic i WILL eventually write -> https://arthursdent.tumblr.com/post/729074587003928576

god i KNOW i have some trillian and zaphod hcs but i literally cannot think of them right now my brain has been eaten by forthur (and the ones i can think of are spoilery for later books so! i will keep my mouth shut!)

sleepover saturday!

[gayest-non-canon-showdown]

Zaphod Beeblebrox from Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.

Headcanon pan and trans.

Thank you for your submission!

[shittyh2g2headcanons]

Zaphod recommended his psychiatrist, Gag Halfrunt, to Arthur after seeing how desperately he needed one. Dr. Halfrunt quit after 4 gruelling sessions

[kittimu]

i don't care how many sets of lungs zaphod would "realistically" have. im headcanoning him with one set of lungs connecting to both necks solely bc I think it'd look really cool if he smoked a cigarette with one head and blew the smoke out the other head

[gaymaxheadroom]

utterly vital you share the roosta hcs

wow hi anon from an ask i received over a year ago! So sorry I never got to you til just now, when I’ve had my meds and am on break.

Anyways I wouldn’t say I have really any too specific headcanons about Roosta; but I live and die by the idea that him and Zaphod were really close friends before Zaphod had to block his memories.

Sure it’s not explicitly said, but you just KNOW Roosta was internally fucking crushed when he said “I knew you had changed, I didn’t know how much.” LIKE FUCK MAN FUCK. Right before he just completely disappears from the story for good too.

I wish the books had delved more into it, but at the same time it’s agonizingly fun to imagine what could’ve been

[lucy-sky]

Need some cute Zaphod 😍😍 So here my request: Zaphod constantly trying to seduce you would include....? (I leave it to you if he succeeds! 😉)

Hey, love. I’m sorry it took that long and also sorry if it’s a bit dull. Hope you enjoy anyways :)

Zaphod Beeblebrox constantly trying to seduce you would include…

(gif by me, plz credit if using)

1. Him constantly hanging somewhere around you. Literally every time you enter the room he’s instantly somewhere close to you.

2. Him always smiling and winking at you.

3. Him also trying to touch you at any opportunity: hugging your waist or shoulders, kissing your hand. He may touch your arm or stroke your shoulder while talking to you. Also he may kiss your cheek playfully. If you feel like it’s too much of him in your personal space and you tell him to stop, he just looks at you with puppy eyes: “Oh baby, you’re just so pretty I couldn’t resist ;)”

4. Him bringing you small and mostly useless gifts. This stuff can be so weird that cause you facepalm most of the time, but nevertheless you find it cute and you actually keep all his silly presents :D

5. It might happen that you’re at a party together. In that case of course he asks you to dance with him. Even if you try to protest at first, he keeps trying in his usual charming manner until eventually you give up. Him smirking at you and pulling you closer while dancing.

6. “Hey girl, you look bored! Come on, let’s steal the coolest spaceship around here and go to any planet you want. It’ll be fun, I promise!”

7. Him eventually asking you out to Milliways, also known as the Restaurant at the End of the Universe) and you accept his invitation because frankly speaking, you’re curious. Time travelling and seeing the end of the world must be a thrilling experience, right?

8. In fact, yep, seeing the end of the Universe is really thrilling, all these explosions and stuff… The realization that it’s actually real, not some kind of special effects gives you chills and at some point you just can’t help but grab Zaphod’s arm. He totally loves your reaction :)

9. Him smiling contently, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and holding you tightly. “Don’t panic, baby, Zaphod Beeblebrox’s with you,” - he hushes with a familiar wink. And even though you’re normally not a fan of his cocky manner, you have to admit that right now his voice and his hugs feel really comforting, so you don’t really mind clinging to him at that moment.

10. Him suggesting some more quiet and romantic place afterwards.

11. Him being as cute and charming as possible. He holds your hand and looks you in the eyes, letting his fingers run through your hair affectionately. And oh hell… Do you really like this weirdo? Seems like you actually do…

12. …But the moment he finally leans in to kiss you, his second head suddenly pops up screaming excitedly: “Oh hey guys, what did I miss??” You freak out for a second and then burst out laughing as his one head looks so confused and the second one looks crazy and it’s hilarious xDD

13. Romantic moment is ruined and Zaphod looks totally pissed off, but he immediately brightens up when you say that it was one of the most incredible dates you’ve ever had and you enjoyed it a lot.

14. “Well, darling… It’s only a small part of what I can do… just let me show…” *smirking*

15. He makes another attempt and finally kisses you passionately (you can reread First Kiss with Zaphod headcanons in case you forgot how does it feel like) And you give in melting into this kiss thinking that going out with Zaphod was actually a much better idea than you thought at first :)

***

Headcanon prompts list

You can still send me your requests but I won’t be able to answer to them until August 28. Thanks for understanding!

[yaboisnelf]

omg is that the president of the galaxy?? tf is he wearing

———————-

anyways, have some sketches too ig :)

[latefrequencies]

okay hold up in episode 3 of the Hitchhiker’s radio series. Zaphod is called Ford’s “semi-brother” once after having been called his “semi-cousin” all times preceding that. Huh Interesting