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thebadgerclan · 2 years

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She, Queen of the Kings

Summary: Zoya, The Dragon Queen, Queen of Kings...

A/N: Inspired by “Queen of Kings” by Alessandra. I changed some lyrics to fit the story, but lyrics are italicized. (Also this song? *chef’s kiss*)

Also no real romantic pairing as this is Zoya-centric, but I threw some Zoyalai in there bc yes

No one knew about the prophecy that had been spoken just after Zoya Nabri had been born, that Suhum Nabri had taken his infant daughter to a Suli Seer by the light of a full moon, unknown to his wife, to have her fortune told. It was a tradition amongst the traveling people, but true prophecies were rare, rarer so to be given to a newborn babe.

One moment, the Seer had been holding Zoya’s tiny hand, her eyes closed and brows furrowed in concentration, and the next, her eyes were open, glassy and white, her voice unearthly. “She, Queen of the Kings, running so fast, beating the wind,” the Seer had said. “Nothing in this world can stop the spread of her wings. She, Queen of the Kings, broken her cage, threw away the keys. She will be the warrior of the nation and the world.”

Got raven hair, dark as night, icy eyes, out of sight, out of sight. Zoya Nazyalensky had been a beautiful child, and had grown into an even more beautiful woman. Her beauty was both her shield and her weakness, forming an unapproachable exterior while simultaneously protecting the wounded child within. She could never forget the man her mother had attempted to sell her to, the little gold wedding gown, the wind tearing down the chapel doors. So she made beauty her weapon, another tool in her arsenal. She was weak no longer, she was a warrior.

Her heart, in spite, is warm and bright. Few people truly knew Zoya. Most people saw her as a cold, distant woman, the harsh commander, the most powerful Squaller, a member of the Grisha Triumvirate. But no one saw Zoya of the garden, tending to her flowers, often with tears in her eyes. No one saw the way she looked at a doe nursing her fawn, or how she subtly defended those beneath her. No one saw how her face lit up when the newest shipment of Kerch novels arrived. Zoya refused to lose herself, to lose the warmth, the kindness she’d harbored since childhood. She buried it, kept it safe, but kept that spark alive.

Nothing in this world can stop the spread of her wings. The Fjerdan war had been brutal, but Zoya, with the help of Juris, had led Ravka to victory. And this victory would last, she knew, not only thanks to the dragon’s voice in her mind, but because the people now bowed to her, spoke her name with reverence. “Let the Nazyalensky dynasty begin. All hail the Dragon Queen,” Niklolai had proclaimed on bended knee, and after the shock, the fear, and the urge to murder him in his sleep had passed, once Zoya had adjusted to the thought, to the notion of being Queen, she knew she could at last bring peace to her people. So she shouldered the burden and wore the crown, taking the oath with her love beside her.

The word had spread fast, far faster than anyone could have anticipated. As they often were, the Suli were among the first to know. Zoya’s prophecy had been shared amongst the Seers after its first speaking, but now, those who wore the jackal masks spoke the words once more. “She, Queen of the Kings, running so fast, beating the wind, nothing in this world can stop the spread of her wings. She, Queen of the Kings, broken her cage, threw away the keys. She will be the warrior of the nation and the world.”

Zoya was Ravka’s first Queen Regnant in history, and Nikolai her first Prince Consort. Queen of Kings, they called her, alongside The Dragon Queen, Rebe Dva Urga, and Sankta Zoya of the Storm. She had shrugged the chains of her past, shattered the cage the Darkling had once put her in, and fought for her nation and her people. The Queen was a warrior, both for her country and for the world at large. And when Juris spoke in her mind, nothing could stop her wings from spreading, both figuratively and literally, though she could control the dragon’s form at will now.

Her smile awakes the Northern Light. When Zoya smiled, it was as if a Sun Summoner was in the room with her. Her smiles were far more frequent since her wedding, and Nikolai was almost always the one to cause them. For the first time in her life, Zoya was happy, truly, shamelessly happy. Her people were safe, her nation was at peace, she had a man who loved her, everything felt right. It was no easy job, but for once, Zoya was not alone. She had a council to aid her, her husband to guide her, and people to back her.

Looking out, she calls… who will conquer all? Of course, peace cannot last forever. The Shu were invading, what had started as a simple border skirmish threatened to become an all-out war. Ravka had had a measly 2 years of peace, and Zoya owed it to her people to fight for them, for their lives, for the peace they so desperately deserved. Seated atop her horse on the Shu-Han border, draped in her sapphire corecloth kefta, the Queen addressed her people:

“I will not allow anyone to encroach upon our lands, to threaten your livelihoods, to harm my people, your people. So I ask you this:” Zoya looked out at her soldiers, the men and women she would lead into battle. “Who will conquer all who seek to harm you? Who will conquer any who threaten our nation?” The soldiers, Grisha and otkazat’sya both, cried out in unison, and while their phrasing varied, their answer was the same. She, Queen of the Kings.

#zoya nazyalensky #zoya nazyalensky fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfiction #nikolai lantsov

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arillusionist · 10 months

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last s&b ep part the second

this is the kanej scene bye i cant do this

the way she has to bite her lip to not talk

HE WAS LOOKING FOR HER PARENTS 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE THE BOOK LINE GOING ON the old answers came easily to mind money vengeance jordie's voice in my head silenced forever but a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome YOU, INEJ. YOU AHHHHH

STAY IN KETTERDAM STAY WITH ME

AND WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT

I WANT YOU TO I WANT I WANT YOU

THE WAY SHE CARRESES HIS HAND

AND HOW WILL YOU HAVE ME GLOVES ON FULLY CLOTHED YOUR HEAD TURNED SO OUR LIPS NEVER TOUCH

I WILL HAVE YOU WITHOUT YOUR ARMOR KAZ BREKKER OR I WILL NOT HAVE YOU AT ALL

im going crazy rn my fists are clenched so hard they hurt

he nodded. he fucking NODDED.

this is their last scene together. we never get to see anything past this because of fucking netflix I HATE THEM SO BAD

thats inej. oh.

wow okay im going to break something time to be mad at the writers

SHE DESERVES HER OWN SHIP. THE WHOLE POINT OF HER GOING OFF IS TO MAKE HER OWN LEGACY AND NOT BE EMPLOYED UNDER SOMEONE *AGAIN* THE FUCK.

AND SHE DESERVES TO BE HUNTING SLAVERS NOT DOING WHATEVER THE FUCK THEYRE DOING

bye i dont even know who im mad at atp

oh she is hunting slavers

IDGAF SHE STILL DESERVES TO BE CAPTAIN. OF HER OWN SHIP.

i know its stupid to be mad because they were probably thinking they would get to make the spinoff and give her her own ship at the end of the last season but i dont care. theres no spinoff.

he has to fight wolves thats . wow

nina being there too is so awful

the letter being fucking crushed too

atleast wesper is happy. haha :)

oh my god hes buying out the menagerie girl's indentures just like inej said at the start of season one...

i cant

ew its the apparat

hes so annoying. and ugly

oh damn is that merzost or what

srry yall i havent read kos yet

atleast alina looks pretty!! and happy. kinda

here they go with the book lines again

"i could fix him" BYEE but it makes me so sad to know thats the only onscreen zoyalai moment we'll ever get

omg zoya nina and alina are the trio ever 💪🏽💪🏽

THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THE ICE COURT JOB THE ONE WE'LL NEVER GET TO SEE

tf who is that bitch

is that blood?? coming out of their mouths??

alina has shadow powers???

oh she likes it...!! stop i needed to see the rest of her storyline so bad shes become one of my favorite characters im gnna cry 🙂

and thats it. not tagging this cuz its mainly just for me but im gonna go cry again over the fact that we'll never get closure to those million cliffhangers and also go sign the petition a million times ex oh ex oh

#sab reaction

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awanderingtortoise · 2 years

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zoyalai drabble

(a more complete drabble this time, just my short shower musings on my favorite bickering royals, their life and their favorite piece of fabric. tw that since when i say Life i mean All Of It, so character death/grief is involved. otherwise please enjoy)

Imagine: all of zoyalai being tied together by that damn blue ribbon. All the canon moments. The day Nikolai finally proposes its wrapped around the box of their ring. The wedding comes and she is ethereal walking down the aisle but he cannot tear his eyes from the curl of blue in her hair and the knowing glint in her eyes. It's a miracle he made it through the ceremony at all, but when he pulls it free, watching the cascade of her hair fall before kissing her with all the reckless abandon in the world time means absolutely nothing and he'd have waited an eternity for this; he'd waited an eternity for this and for her he'd do it all over again.

The ribbon on the ground, damp with perspiration as the cries of a newborn fill the air. Her mothers' curls, her father's eyes. Years later a little Squaller girl stands with a familiar shade of blue twined through her hair, braid whipping in the breeze as she brings the wind to fill her father's sails. Nikolai doesn't think hes ever felt prouder in the entirety of his hubris-filled existence. It is there through it all, the mornings where she ties her hair up and the nights where he lets it fall; rare afternoons spent doing nothing but holding each other, the warmth of knowing that in the other they find strength and refuge both. It will see children and grandchildren and more, every moment of Ravka's golden son and their saint of storms, from the start to the very end. The prince breathes his last, though still with a smile. When summer comes, he tells her. Think of me. The rain will pour with her grief, the ocean churn with her anger, the wind howl with her despair. And through it all a single ribbon, tugged free from her hair and laid into the palm of his still-warm hand. She curls his fingers around it, cursing the turn of fate that left her ever young and ever beautiful for not touching him the same way. She is not sure if summer will ever come again. It does. Slowly, painfully, but it returns nonetheless. And when it does he is everywhere. In the morning sun that wakes her she finds his warmth. In the sweetness of the breeze she feels his smile, hears his laughter. In the golden light she remembers. I will always seek to make it summer for you. And he has. He does. He will. She hadn't been able to bring herself to go to her garden, not since then, but perhaps today she will. Foxtail or foxglove, she thinks. Or sunflowers. Nikolai, she murmurs to the wind. And in the moments of summer she finds her reply.

#so apparently i wrote this last year and then completely forgot it existed #zoyalai #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #zoyalai fanfiction #tortoise tries to write

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clairecrive · 3 years

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my request: ok so first of all can this pls be set in the grishaverse and after rule of wolves. now that that's over with could i pls get some headcanons for nikolai x reader (cos i love all ur nikolai fics and hcs) where nikolai has liked the reader for so damn long(theyve never spoken before and hes still king0 and for the first time ever he doesnt know how to go about approaching her so he goes to genya cos shes readers best friend and asks her for help so genya reccomends he writes notes and gives them to her. so nikolai does that and makes them super flirty but instead of signing his name he signs it saying "your secret admirer" to be funny and he gives the reader these notes 1-3 (sometimes more) times a day until one day the reader finally catches him and confronts him about it and says that the feeling are mutual. also can you include the reader showing nikolai an entire drawer full of his notes to her.

rlly hope this isnt too long - thank you

A/n: I love all of your requests and they're never a problem! short, long, however they are they're all super special to me. I hope you'll like this! x

Also, just want to mention that I do not acknowledge what happened in row. That ending didn't happen, Nikolai is still king of Ravka and ofc no zoyalai.

one would think that someone as charming as Nikolai would have no problem wooing the girl of his dreams

and yet, the boy is straight-up pathetic

yes, he's a king

yes, he was a fearsome privateer

Sturmhond was an earned name for God's sake

and yet, and yet, talking to you was no easy feat

and he'd tried. he really really tried to create a plan, a strategy he could use to find a way to your heart

but to no avail.

every time he'd go to you he'd either stammer or stare at you wordlessly or just come out with the stupidest thing, completely ignoring everything he had carefully thought out to say

so it was time to change the tactic. it was time for plan B: ask for help

and there was only one person who could possibly help

your best friend Genya

swallowing his pride he asked for help. he had had a mind to ask her directly if you liked him or not but he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer

so he settled for asking how to woo you

Genya spared him and didn't laugh in his face. Nikolai knew she'll probably tell this to David but he wasn't worried about the voice carrying to other people.

you loved love letters apparently

even though Genya had told him that gushing about your eyes or luscious hair in three pages long letter was the best way to make a good impression on you

so she suggested opting for leaving little notes around

and so he does

first with something small like "you look gorgeous today,"

and then he gets bolder and bolder

"the brightest stars pale in front of you"

"your company is like water to a man in the desert, I'm always asking for more."

and so forth until they're just ridiculous

thank the saints that you were the only one who read this otherwise he'd never hear the end of it

and the satisfaction he'd get whenever he'd see you react to them was priceless

he was insufferably smug for the rest of the day to everyone else but you were still none the wiser

but the thing is, he's getting careless and with the ratio, he leaves you notes it was only a matter of time for you to find out

and, as a matter of fact, you caught him as he was leaving one of his notes through some books in the library

which was weird on its own since Nikolai never was in the library but then you noted the slip of paper in his hands and connected the dots

you'd never told him out loud but when you realized that it was him your secret admirer you blushed so heard, you could be used as a lightning house

after that, you decided to seize the moment and walked up behind him

it was possible the exhalation of the moment the sheer serotonin that knowing Nikolai liked you produced but the words that came out of your mouth were so bold that you weren't even sure you said them

"you know, you could say those things to my face instead of wasting paper."

Nikolai shrieked and jumped ten feet in the air

if you weren't so flustered and nervous about his reaction, you would have laughed in his face. it was hilarious

he spun around and realized that it was and tried to regain a kingly composure

"what?"

"poor trees haven't died for you to hide behind them. especially not when there's no reason for secrecy."

"I find it quite romantic."

"Indeed. But I'm sure we could both benefit more from sharing those secrets."

"I reckon it depends on the content of the secrets," he replied

Nikolai had a silver tongue and if you let him, he could continue for hours.

so you stepped up and kissed him

this time, the expression on his face when you pulled away, was pure gold. and you couldn't help but giggle.

"I do love your little notes, though," you whispered on his lips

"come, I wanna show you something," you pulled him out of the library and brought him to your room

he was uncharacteristically quiet and you relished in his reaction knowing that once he saw the drawer full of his notes, his ego will resurface and his silence will be over

but truly, silent or bragging, you loved every piece of Nikolai and you couldn't wait to see what your life with him was going to look like

#nikolai lanstov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov headcanons #nikolai lantsov fluff #grishaverse #shadow and bone

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evasjacks · 3 years

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How do you feel about the ending for Zoya and Nikolai? I can't imagine the people truly accepting Zoya as their queen, though I love the idea of her ruling. And I do like Nikolai going back to privateering. It feels fitting for him?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

im glad u asked !!

first of all I think there was a TON of foreshadowing for this exact ending. in tgt and kos zoya was described as “saintly” and referred to as a “queen” multiple times:

“Toss him over,” Zoya said. “Break his heart cruelly. I will gladly give our poor prince comfort, and I would make a magnificent queen.”

“Zoya was not kind and she was not easy. But she was already a queen”

“What is a mortal king to a queen who can summon storms?”

and for nikolai:

““Lay down the thorn, boy king. Haven’t you earned a bit of rest? Aren’t you tired?'He was. Saints, he was. He thought he had grown used to his scars, but he had never grasped how much of his will it would take to hide them. He had fought and sacrificed and bled. He had gone long days without rest and long nights without comfort. All for Ravka, all for an ideal he would never attain and a country that would never care.”

boiled down to it....zoya was always going to be a queen. nikolai is all strategy and charm, and yes he made a good king, but even we felt like it was too good to be true. and all in all while he was a soldier and always desired the throne, I think he was too much for ravka more than ravka was too much for him. maybe it was recklessness, maybe it was his age or his trauma but I doubt ravka was ready for nikolai, but it was made for zoya. nikolai selling his inventions left and right, pleasing peasants while pissing off nobles, creating ties only to turn around and break them...in a way, he needed restraining, and as a king, no one could restrain him.

zoya is more clearheaded. the only real fatal flaw i would attribute to her would be her rage. but unlike nikolai, zoya isn’t taking on the throne as a rage filled girl fresh from the war. she maintains her anger, wears it like armor, but she is guided by juris, the dragon, and the ancient knowledge that live in her head. and if anyone thought she lacked empathy...well that was solved too. hard not to feel someone’s pain when you can quite literally feel it.

I don’t think the people have much of a choice honestly? I feel like in order to please everyone, she can please no one, and vice versa. she fits into all tje categories. she fits into none. she is a soldier, she is a grisha. she is ravkan and suli. she is saint and girl. and honestly she is exactly what ravka needs.

plus...would you challenge a dragon sitting on you country’s throne? cuz like...personally...i wouldn’t

NIKOLAI PRIVATEERING !!! I REPEAT NIKOLAI PRIVATEERING !!

ok first of all we know his place is beside zoya, but that he would become sturmhond again, if only on occasion makes me so happy!! he was always happier at sea, and you can tell the way he flipped with alina in tgt and the same with zoya in row. its like when he’s on his ship, there’s less weight on his shoulders and like...he just generates so much more happy energy?? he’s known for optimism and cracking jokes but I honestly think he’s happier at sea!

other than that....zoyalai in my mind rent free 🥺🥺🥺 thank you leigh for not killing them not forgiving u for david tho

#row spoilers #rule of wolves #rule of wolves spoilers #asks #gv asks #anon #zoyalai #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky

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sitaarein · 3 years

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None Stand Equal In This Dark World

A/N: Officially my largest ever fic so please. Just read it and be nice sob because I’m kinda proud of some of it

Written for @grishaversebigbang 2021!!!

Corporalki: @homicide-depot

Materialki: @generalnabri (x), @kolarpem (x), @aivicart (x), @maximumbluebirdpatrol , @niadrawing (x)

(Summary: A murder mystery AU featuring Zoyalai, twists and turns, moral dilemma, and then some more

Read on AO3

Chapter One

The apartment door was wide open.

In retrospect, that alone should have set off the alarm bells in Zoya’s head. No one left the door to their place wide open. She can’t imagine why she simply dismissed it.

Scratch that, she knew why. She’d been tracking this idiotic Grisha for a month now. She was tired and desperate.

But it appeared that- who would’ve thought- not being at the top of your game has consequences.

Consequences like staring down a man who’s been tied to a chair and gagged in the middle of, what Zoya guesses is, the lounge, eyes wide with terror.

Zoya is mad at herself for not managing to guess it was a red herring- the damn door - and very, very mad at the Grisha who has, once again, slipped right through her hands.

She nods to one of her men, and he immediately drops to the man’s level to untie and presumably interrogate him. Zoya doesn’t stick around for the details- she trusts her people to give her good reports. Instead, after a cursory look around, she tips her head back to face the ceiling, taking in a deep breath, and leaves the apartment.

The weather outside took a dramatic turn in the fifteen minutes she was inside- it had been sunny before, or at least as sunny as Ravka ever could get. But now, the sun has all but ceased to exist, and the bitter cold is back once more.

Zoya prefers the cold.

(She doesn’t, not really, but no one needed to know that.)

Zoya starts walking, pulling her coat tighter around herself. Her mind races, trying to connect all the dots, trying to figure out where her investigation had gone wrong. Start from the beginning. Don’t miss anything. The most minor of details are the most important.

The beginning. A woman showed up to their headquarters about her missing family. Those cases were usually dismissed completely, handed over to the police forces- Zoya’s force was Grisha-centric, other cases, no matter how large or important they were, did not concern them. But this case was different.

The woman was Grisha.

Her family weren’t, evidently- and neither did they know that she was. They’d been missing for six weeks, and the odds were pretty heavily stacked against them still being alive. The woman was detained (she was Grisha, this was Zoya’s job ) and a group of officers were dispatched for a search and rescue.

The officers never returned.

Alarm bells were now ringing, and the General assigned Zoya to the case. In the time since she officially took over, twenty more disappearances were documented, and all of them in Os Kerva alone. Saints knew what was happening in the rest of the country.

But Zoya had never believed in Saints, so she found out what was happening in the rest of the country.

The total number of disappearances in all of Ravka that had this case’s signature mark- an eclipsed sun left wherever the victims were seen last- was an estimated three thousand . Zoya couldn’t believe no one had connected the dots before her. Then again, the entire of the force were filled with incompetent idiots, so maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her.

The series of events . Zoya travelled up and down the country with the best of her underlings, talking to anyone who knew the victims, searching their last known places with tooth combs, building up working hypotheses, using all the resources they had available. Zoya was not an idiot. She knew exactly how capable she was.

And she also knew when she was fighting a losing battle.

And so, when she got a call from one of her top detectives about a confirmed Grisha she’d been trailing for some time now who’d begun suspicious activity, she was clutching at straws and willing to take anything that came her way. She met up with her agent, and a few days later, they got the address of the apartment she was currently pacing in front of.

The present . This part could be summed up fairly quickly. Zoya is, once again, at a fucking dead end .

Before she can kick something (or someone) out of frustration, A faint ringing reaches her ears, and frowning, Zoya stops in her tracks. Her phone is never not on silent. Calling Zoya Nazyalensky for anything was utterly pointless- she never picked up.

But the GIA has ways of getting into contact with its members regardless.

Muttering a curse, Zoya digs around her pockets, looking for the infernal device with its grating, high-toned ringing. Finally locating her phone, she jabs the answer button without looking at the caller ID.

“Yes?” she asks bluntly.

“Zoya,” Alina’s voice greets her.

Zoya immediately forgets everything that had been on her mind. When Alina calls, it’s rarely for a friendly chat.

“What’s wrong?”

“You need to get back here. As soon as possible.”

“Understood. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

Alina hangs up immediately, and Zoya pockets her phone, mind racing.

She orders one of her lackeys to send her a report when they're done, grabs the keys for the van they’d used to get to the apartment from a rather distracted officer, taking off.

Zoya reaches the Grisha Investigation Authorities in approximately half the time she’d given to Alina, and she may or may not have disobeyed quite a few traffic laws to get to her destination as quickly as she did, but that was frankly unimportant.

She strides through the doors, not bothering to acknowledge the many who’ve halted their paths to nod to her or, in the case of a few particularly stupid (or courageous, however you wanted to see it) people, attempt to strike up a conversation with her. She didn’t break her pace even once, until she’d reached the door to the meeting room they usually used to meet up for serious issues. After taking a moment to compose herself, Zoya pushes the door open.

Inside, she finds all of her fellow Commanding Officers assembled- Adrik, Leoni, Alina, and Genya. Frowning, Zoya scans their faces, and mentally shifts whatever’s happening even higher on her scale of terrible shit to take care of immediately.

Because not even Leoni, who can find positivity at a funeral, is smiling right now. There’s barely a hint of her optimistic and eternally cheerful personality in her countenance.

Zoya carefully takes the seat left for her around the circular table. Her gaze flits from one worried face to another, and she decides to be direct.

“How bad is it?”

The question seems to jolt Alina out of her reverie. She looks up, and Zoya feels her breath catch, because she looks so… helpless. Terrified.

Genya takes it upon herself to answer Zoya’s question with another question, her mouth set in a grim line. “How’s your investigation going?”

“We lost the suspect,” Zoya admits, her earlier frustration returning with the reminder of the infernal case. “We’re right back to where we started- but without the hope and the general idea of where to start.”

“I’m not surprised,” Adrik mutters. “Considering who your delightful suspect is…”

Zoya furrows her brow, and glances back at Genya. “Explain.”

Genya looks as if she would rather do anything else, but after coming to the realisation that no one else is about to, she sighs and does so.

“I’m presuming you remember Alina’s case that went cold about two years back?”

A little too well. Even years later, that case haunts her- the truly horrific killings, from corpses with their body parts stuffed down their throats, to children who had clearly been still alive when burnt, the utter dead ends, Alina’s far too close brush with death, and… the person behind it all.

“You don’t think it’s the same person??” Zoya demands, horror spreading through her veins. She can not handle another Kirigan.

In lieu of replying, Genya nods to Leoni, who pushes forward a large envelope. Dread pooling in her gut, Zoya opens the package to find pictures from Alina’s investigation.

“We revisited these when your disappearances started,” Genya says. “And… found more similarities than we’re frankly comfortable with.”

Zoya shifts the photos around, and then freezes at one, having caught sight of a mostly blurry but still distinctive calling card. “That’s…”

“The eclipsed sun,” Adrik provides grimly. “You’re screwed.”

“Hey, now,” Leoni protests. “We don’t know that.”

Adrik snorts. “Don’t we? Need I remind you of the damage this person wrecked to the GIA and our country?”

“How do we know this isn’t just a copycat?” Zoya breaks in. “None of the bodies of the victims this time around have been discovered,”

“Copy cats still tend to have their own twists on kills, a signature, a mark that’s theirs. While none of the killings for either case have many similarities, they also don’t vary in terms of said signature.” Genya says.

“Killers are proud creatures,” Adrik inputs.

“And this one’s no exception,” Leoni says, eyes grim.

Zoya looks up. “What do you know?”

Leoni hesitates, but then gives in. “We got a note this morning. A photocopy should be in the envelope too.”

Zoya overturns the envelope, and sure enough, a piece of paper falls out. She picks it up, reads it, and crumples it up.

“You’re sure this isn’t a stupid joke?”

“It was in the Director’s office.” Leoni says.

Shit. Zoya glances back down at the crumpled mass she’s still clutching. You will burn on your mistakes. What mistakes?

She ignores the faint voice in the back of her head. You know what mistakes.

Zoya takes a deep breath, focuses her thoughts, and then exhales. “How’s the Director doing?”

“He’s terrified.” All of the COs seemed to be equally startled to see Alina was the one to speak. Her mouth is set in an angry line, and Zoya can guess the track of her thoughts, because they were the same ones that had crossed her mind upon hearing the words- who is he to be terrified? What right did the Director even have to feel scared, when he himself never so much as interacted with the cases???

Adrik sighs, leaning back in his seat. “Which is what has led us to our current predicament.”

“And what do you mean by that?”

Genya exhales in a huff. “He wants the Mentals on this case along with all of us.”

“He what.”

Alina, lips twisted in a sardonic smile, gestures to nothing in particular. “You heard correctly.”

“Why ??? This is my case, and I will handle it.”

“He doesn’t want a repeat of the bad press that came with my failing last time, I’m guessing.”

“Bad press,” Zoya spits out. “I wonder how much bad press he��ll get when I-”

“Do not,” Genya warns. “This could be helpful to us.”

But also a personal disgrace , Zoya finishes the sentence in her head. The Mentals were practically a legend of the GIA- they were special, elite investigators, a whole mix of people ranging from scientists to- if the rumors were correct- ex-spies, who ended up with the cases no one else in the force could solve, and somehow, without fail, solved each of them within a week at the least.

It was irritating as hell.

And having them assigned on your case meant that the Director did not trust you to be successful on your own.

Absolutely wonderful.

“So when are these... spectacular detectives arriving?” Zoya asks.

Genya opens her mouth, and then closes it, before starting, “Well-”

“I hope I’m not too late to this marvelous party?”

Zoya swivels to see who this truly abnormally cheerful person is, and then blinks. She turns back to face the others once more- Adrik still looks glum, Leoni is smiling her most polite smile, Alina seems to have perked up and Genya is genuinely smiling. They all look… unsurprised.

Of course they were hiding more secrets up their sleeves.

“ What,” Zoya finally breaks and asks. “Is the damned PR guy doing here?”

The aforementioned PR guy pouts. “Is that really what I’m known for around here? My PR duties? That’s quite depressing. Why would you focus on that when you could talk about my stunning good looks, or my undeniable charm, or even my ability to-”

“Nikolai,” Alina interrupts. “Shut up.” she looks at Zoya, a hint of dry amusement in her eyes.

“Zoya, this is Nikolai Lantsov, and he is indeed our PR guy, but he’s also… head of the Mentals.”

Zoya blinks. He’s what??? And then, wait… they knew who the special investigators were? How long have they known? Why was I not informed?

She doesn’t voice any of her thoughts, choosing instead to stare, unimpressed, at the blond, who grins at her in response.

“If I had known you possessed such astounding grace and beauty, Miss Nazyalensky, I would have made your acquaintance sooner! I’m sure these upcoming days will prove to be an absolute pleasure, provided I get to spend them in your delightful company.”

“Saints save me,” Zoya utters faintly. “The Director assigned an idiot to my case.”

“Hey, now!” Nikolai protests. “You haven’t even met the rest of my team yet!”

“An idiot who talks too much,” she deplores.

Genya and Alina both snort at that. In fact, all of her fellow COs seemed to be taking far too much pleasure in this situation. Zoya hates all of them.

“Well, now that we’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way,” Nikolai says, to which Zoya distinctly hears Adrik mutter “pleasantries?” under his breath, “I think now would be a wonderful time for me to introduce you to my brilliant team,”

Genya sits up immediately, looking eager. Zoya wonders what that’s about.

She finds out fairly quickly.

Nikolai ushers in a group of people, and she recognises one in particular, one who she has, in fact, known since her college years -

David. Genya’s husband, David Kostyk, is a part of the Mentals. Harmless old David. Zoya can’t believe her eyes.

She scans the rest of the group, but the others barely seem familiar. The two Shu right in front of David look similar enough to be twins, apart from the height difference. Right next to David is a woman that, with a jolt, Zoya recognises as Adrik’s sister from what she’s heard and seen of her. Bringing up the rear is a man who vaguely resemblesNikolai himself, ducking his head shyly as he enters the room.

“Now that your merry party is all assembled,” Adrik says glumly. “Any ideas where to start?”

“Shouldn’t we at least get to know each other first?” Adrik’s sister asks.

Adrik stares at her. “I’ve known you since I was born.”

“We’re not the only ones in the room, Adrik.”

“Oh, aren’t we ? I can’t say I noticed.”

Nikolai interrupts their glaring match to finally provide Zoya with names to all the unfamiliar faces.

“Tamar, Tolya, Nadia, and Isaak, meet the officers we’ll be working with for the next few weeks or longer- Alina, Genya, Zoya, Leoni, and Adrik,” he gestures towards each person in turn. Zoya briefly wonders how he already knows their names, before realising that just because the GIA didn’t know who the special investigators were didn’t exactly mean they didn’t know the GIA either.

“And now,” Nikolai beams. “Let’s get comfortable. It’s time to discuss our present conundrum!”

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nazyalenskyism · 3 years

Text

Not The Time!

Summary: Nikolai and Zoya have the worst timing.

A/N: Because I procrastinate everything including sleep, here’s a 2.4k fic I started at 1am last night because I saw a clip from a movie on twitter and thought, ‘hey, what if Zoyalai did that?’ This ended up a lot longer than originally planned and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it, but I hope you enjoy! ❤ Thanks for reading! Ao3: Not The Time! “We’re outnumbered,” Tamar yelled as she flung her axes in quick succession at a cluster of oncoming soldiers. “What do we do?” “Stay alive and figure the rest of it out as you go,” Zoya growled, heaving her arms to summon yet another wave of icy wind to push back the advancing Fjerdans. “Excellent advice, Commander,” Tolya cried, running his sword through, “if we survive based on your advice, I’ll write an ode in your name.” “I prefer ballads” Genya called out, flinging another canister of the concoction she had made that instantly knocked out their opponents into Nadia’s awaiting gust. David didn’t look up from the contraption he was fiddling with at the base of the dysfunctional airship, “the poem isn’t for you, dear.” “If we survive, I’ll knight you all,” Nikolai grunted, firing his pistols. “Make holidays in your name, paint royal portraits of your likeness, the whole works.” Zoya scoffed, “you can’t knight people, that only happens in storybooks.” “If we die today, I doubt it will matter!”

The battle was raging on and as the minutes slipped by, the Ravkans found themselves increasingly overwhelmed. Nikolai had known that their chances were slim, but he would not be the Lantsov king who saw his country drown without trying everything in his power to save his people. A passionate rallying speech to his soldiers, a thanks to his family for choosing to stay at his side and to go down for a country who had never given a damn about them, and one last look at the possibility of a future encompassed in the blue of Zoya’s fluttering hair ribbon had been all he’d been able to do before they launched themselves into this fight. Nikolai scanned the battlefield for any sort of reprieve and instead found a slight hole in the Fjerdans’ formations. Were the Ravkans making a dent? He fired off a pistol and inspected the gap further, they could break through the ranks there, they would be able to get to the top of the ridge and perhaps neutralize the battlefield with Genya’s sleep potion...Then the remaining Ravkan soldiers behind the lines could turn the Fjerdans’ hands to surrender… and then, they might win this battle. He might save his people and his friends. But first he had to get to the top of the ridge, and he needed a Squaller for dispersal. He glanced around at the group around him, he couldn’t throw any of his friends, Adrik, Nadia, or Zoya into harm with him, not when he was sure he would probably die trying to get there. He watched as Zoya pulled out her sword, a weapon she was now comfortable using thanks to Juris’ training in the Fold, and wield it like the warrior Saint she’d become, a fearless protector of the people, a queen. All around him, his friends stood out to him like burning embers on the battlefield and he knew that he would do whatever it took to keep them alive. He had to take the leap now, if he had any chance of saving them all. He yelled out to his friends, trying to outline his plan as quickly as possible, but his proposition of completing the task alone was met with raised voices.

Zoya was the first to admonish him, “you’re not going alone, you’ll barely make it past the first three Fjerdans.”

“What other choice do I have? We need to end this battle before we’re overwhelmed.”

“Oh, your plan is fine,” she said, glaring at him, “you’re just not going alone.”

“I can’t risk--” “You’re not risking anything,” she shrugged, “if you die, then the rest of us will probably end up dead too, and I’m sure as hell not letting you die alone on the battlefield. You don’t have a choice, I’m coming either way.” “I can’t let you--” “I’m coming with you, brother.” Tolya objected. “If you’re going, then I’m going too,” Tamar cried out, but her twin gripped her shoulder. “We can’t all die today. Genya and David need you. Nadia needs you. We will be back before you know it.” Her eyes flashed, “if you’re not at the top of the ridge in 20 minutes, we’re all coming after you.” “Fine,” Nikolai said, squeezing her other shoulder, “we’ll give you the signal from the top. He nodded to David, squeezed Genya in a quick hug, “let’s go.” Slipping through the gap in the defenses at the edge of the battlefield was easy enough, but working their way through the remaining number of Fjerdans, though there were fewer than at other points in the formation, was proving to be an issue. Tolya moved through the crowd with one hand exercising his Heartrender’s capabilities, the other tight around the hilt of a massive sword. Zoya was a force to be reckoned with, her new abilities to access all Grisha orders allowed her to summon multiple elements in quick succession, bright lightning seemed to be wreathing her every movement. Nikolai was managing well enough on his own, his pistols were in constant motion, preventing more soldiers from reaching them. He began to walk backwards, facing Zoya as she moved forward, checking her back and preventing anyone from following them.

Zoya suddenly dove, and for a second he thought she was trying to impale him, only to hear a thud from behind him, she’d taken out an assailant he hadn’t seen. She was standing a breath away from him, her chest heaving and her eyes alight with a cackling energy. He hoped it was out of adrenaline and not because she was about to decapitate him. If that was the case, it would make his next words very awkward. She pulled back and turned away, but Nikolai’s hand shot out and grasped her arm. “Zoya!” he yelled over the clamour of the fight, “will you marry me?” She stared at him openmouthedly, whirling around to parry an oncoming sword, “Nikolai, now is not the time!” He turned, shooting at two figures behind her back, “now may be the only time!”

Momentum from his movements pushed him forward and then they were grasping each others’ forearms, “I love you,” he whispered, before turning to disarm a figure from the corner of his eye. They fell back into one another, “I know what I want Zoya, do you?”

Zoya struck someone down behind his shoulder, the use of her powers causing her hair to lift in the wind, highlighted by the blue electricity. She glowered at him for a second, before hitting his chest with her fist, “Tolya! Marry us!” Nikolai grinned, brushing his fingers against her perfect face for a brief moment before kicking someone in the chest, sending them flying. “I’m a little busy at the moment,” the man roared, tossing someone into an oncoming group like the world’s most ruthless game of bowling. “Tolya, now!” Nikolai yelled. “Fine then!” He clenched his fist and a whole cluster of Fjerdans fell to their knees. Nikolai reached out, drawing Zoya in by the waist as they continued moving through the Fjerdans. She glanced up at him and Nikolai found himself near giddy at the understanding of what they were about to do. They may only have a few moments left in this world and he wanted to spend those moments by her side, as her husband, something he had never dreamed would be possible. He wanted the rightful Queen of Ravka at his side for as long as she would have him, whether it was on the battlefield, at a state function, or as it looked more likely by the second, buried beneath the earth.

“Friends, or lack thereof, we’re gathered here today to witness the union of the two people in Ravka with the worst timing.” Zoya turned from his grasp, flipping a Fjerdan over her shoulder before taking his hands in hers, her ferocious eyes trained on his. Nikolai tucked her hair behind her ear, “Zoya Nazyalensky, do you take me to be your husband, your king, your demon fool?” He had never seen such visible excitement on her face as when she replied, “I do.” “Fantastic,” Nikolai hummed, ducking down as she blasted someone back with a scorching flame. With their hands still joined, they pulled apart, Nikolai drawing his own sword from its scabbard and slashing mirthlessly, the mirror of Zoya’s ruthless movements behind him. “Nikolai Lantsov,” she turned her head back to look at him. “Do you take me,” they were facing now, as if they were bound in some sort of strange dance for which no one else could hear the music to. “To be your wife?” Nikolai twirled her under his arm, “in sickness and in health? With health looking less and less likely by the second?” Zoya ducked an oncoming blade, falling against him, and he wrapped his arm around her, taking out another assailant with a pistol. “I do.” He said against her hair, holding onto her as she used a gust of wind to propel them towards the base of the ridge where Tolya had reached. “I now pronounce you king and queen,” Tolya grunted, but he was smiling. “You may kiss, though I advise against it until we’re in the clear.” Nikolai dipped Zoya down but before he could do as Tolya said, he felt a prickle on the back of his neck, yanking her up and she launched herself at an approaching warrior. “You may kiss,” Tolya yelled again, knocking out another group of Fjerdans. Nikolai spun, taking out a few stray soldiers behind both Tolya and Zoya before taking her hand in his and pulling her back towards the ridge. “Just kiss!” Tolya said. Nikolai pulled her into his embrace, relishing the way her arms wrapped around him as he finally, finally kissed Zoya, the press of her mouth against his nothing short of electric.

They broke away all too quickly, the trio scrambling to the top of the ridge, occasionally blasting back those who tried to follow them. At the top of the hill, Tolya unloaded the pack full of Genya’s potion as Zoya rubbed her palms together in tight circles, the scent of a storm descending upon them. “Are you ready?” “Don’t have much of a choice,” Zoya huffed, her eyes shut tight as thunder rolled over the field, “my husband’s stupid plan better work.” “I don’t know if I should be worried more about you or the Fjerdans if this doesn’t work out.” “Me,” she said, her eyes flying open, flashing silver, dragon’s eyes, “always me.” Nikolai backed up, winding his arm up as Tolya did the same launching canister after canister into Zoya’s awaiting gust of wind. He called out direction, telling her where to aim and he could see the sweat breaking across her brow as she maintained the storm and controlled its wind.

When the last of the potion was dispersed, Zoya stumbled backwards into him, sinking to the ground as they watched the people below fall into unconsciousness. “If we make it back to the capital, I want a ring,” she whispered. “When we make it back to the capital, I will give you much more than a ring,” Nikolai laughed, seeing the blush rise in her cheeks. She squeezed his hand tightly, letting out a soft exhale of exhaustion. A flurry of movement caught his eye from below, the flapping of a white flag from the Fjerdans, the sight releasing an audible sigh from Nikolai’s chest. They had done it. Zoya turned to him, her head still resting against his shoulder, “we did it… we won?” “Don’t sound so surprised,” Nikolai teased, smothering a grin as she got up on her toes, bringing his mouth to hers. Once again, the moment was cut far too short when Tolya pulled them both into a bone crushing hug, refusing to let go until Nikolai reminded him that Tamar would kill him for not coming back down as soon as possible. They limped back to the battlefield with Tolya taking the lead, Nikolai with his arm around his General’s waist as she leaned into him, her arm around his neck. They helped up soldiers as they went, Nikolai clapping hands and thanking them, until they finally managed to make it back to their friends. He knew there would be terms of settlement and a million other things to discuss in the coming hours, but for now all he wanted to do was embrace his friends and let the feat they’d managed to achieve sink in. Their friends were bruised and scraped, Tamar had a wicked cut on her forehead, and David had somehow lost a shoe, but they were alive. They were all alive.

“What happened out there?” Genya asked, embracing Zoya, “we lost track of you once you got to their ranks.” ‘We just fought our way through,” he replied, the weight of Zoya against him felt unimaginable, but he refused to let her go. Not that she didn’t seem content where she was, leaning against him just enough that it looked like nothing more than the king supporting his commander. “We fought our way through, knocked out a ridiculous number of Fjerdans, saved the day, and oh yeah, Nikolai and Zoya got married.” “You what?” Genya hissed, turning on them, “you what?” “Looks like David will have to perform an opera naked in the shadow Fold after all,” Zoya shrugged, letting herself fall completely into Nikolai, there was no need to hide from their friends anymore. Nikolai rested his chin on top of her head, taking in the absurdity of the moment. They had won the war, they hadn’t died, and most mind blowing of all, he was married to Zoya, and for once she didn’t seem to be on the verge of throttling him. Was it too early to call today the most ridiculous day of his life? “What?” David said, glancing up at them from the ground in alarm. “You got married without me there?” Genya shook Zoya’s shoulders. “It was very spur of the moment,” Nikolai offered, “we thought we were about to die.”

“Do shut up, your highness. You really thought I hadn’t noticed you asking to access your mother’s old sapphire tiaras, looking for a stone to make a ring with? This was anything but a spur of the moment plan.” Zoya raised a brow, “interesting.”

“Is it really?” Nikolai winced, scrubbing a hand through his hair as the rest of the group turned to him, demanding answers while his queen curled up into his side, her knowing smirk making the barrage of questions that much easier to face.

#zoyalai fic #king of scars #zoyalai #rule of wolves #kos fic #king of scars fic #rule of wolves fic #tgv #grishaverse fic #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lanstov #my writings

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sanktnikolais · 3 years

Text

this is what love does

A/N: so here is your friendly neighbor zoyalai who rewrote that scene in the Os Kervo main hall (Rule of Wolves chapter 46). Idk man this is what I have in mind and I just wanted to put more monologue and make some drastic changes KJHASDFLKHASDF

i think their scene in this chapter could have gone better ngl ahjsfkajsf but if you’re okay with canon, i’m absolutely glad you are. I just needed to make this bc my zoyalai heart said so HHAHAHA

as always @wafflesandkruge enabled me again and volunteered to edit this mess so thank you ily 🥺

contains some spoilers for Rule of Wolves so pls beware before reading :>

Word count: 4169

When the doors to the hall finally closed, Zoya released a breath of frustration. She wanted a moment of total silence, where she could shut out the voices of the people chanting her name or the affirmative tones of the dukes that agreed with Nikolai in nominating her as Ravka’s new queen. A bottle of brandy would be good too, and yet it didn’t materialize out of thin air just as she wanted it to.

She put a hand to her forehead, feeling the fatigue from the war slowly drain what was left of her strength. This was madness—everything that had happened in the past few weeks. Headache after headache, they kept coming like the barrage of Fjerdan firepower they had just encountered in the battlefield hours ago.

But the biggest headache of all was standing right in front of her in all his confident glory, the small grin never leaving his lips even as Zoya scowled at him. Nikolai Lantsov was a royal through and through. And despite the dirt that still smudged on his face, or the dried blood on his collar, he never lost that spark in him, no matter what he said about not wanting to claim the Lantsov bloodline.

How could he suddenly expect her to do this on her own terms?

"Are you out of your saintsforsaken mind?" Zoya hissed at the smiling king. He still was the king, and would continue to be as far as she was concerned. "I could strike you with lightning right now but I don't think I have the energy left for that."

Nikolai's grin turned into a wince. "Ah, but I'm always in the right state of mind," he said as he approached her with rather careful steps as if he was testing the waters around her. "And I have never been more sane and sober than now, Zoya."

The urge to summon lightning at him was still strong, but she shoved the thought down. Ravka didn't need another funeral right now, and especially not for its king.

"Say something spiteful."

Zoya furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

"You're scowling again, and I think the only way to really know you're angry is when you combine your scowl with harsh words."

“Do you really have a death wish?"

The infuriating king pretended to think for a moment, his eyes narrowing curiously as he scratched the spot behind his ear. “I think we’ve had enough of staring down death today—”

Thunder rumbled in the skies as Zoya’s anger flared, and Nikolai flinched. But Nikola, being himself, recovered quickly with a grin. She looked at him in disbelief. It was both baffling and amazing how fast this man could change into one of his masks in just a matter of a second and then he was another person entirely.

It was their difference—Zoya didn’t have that skill. She’d never had the capability of pretending. Where she had walls around her heart to hide the girl who once believed in fairy tales and love and other nonsense, Nikolai wore his masks like they were his second skin, and it blended with the boy who just wanted what was best for his country, until he didn’t know who he was anymore.

She had never shown any signs of weakness or vulnerability, and even if she did, she would still deny it until she convinced her heart it had never happened. But he was different. He was ready to wear his heart on his sleeve if he wanted to, displaying his emotions at all times. And if he didn’t get anything out of it, he would put his mask back on like nothing happened.

Zoya hid; Nikolai pretended. If she were to look at it, pretending was better than hiding.

“Is it really that bad?” Nikolai asked softly.

Yes.

No.

I don’t know.

If she were still the same person she had been three years ago, she knew she would have accepted the offer right away. But things had changed and progressed since then, and whoever she once was, someone who wanted so much power, was long gone.

“We both know I’m not cut out for this, Nikolai,” she replied.

He didn’t say anything else, and just waited. Zoya huffed in frustration.

“You’re the diplomat, the charmer.” She gestured in the air vaguely. “Even if you’re not of the royal bloodline, there is no denying that you’ve always had the knack for this. I’m just—”

She was just what? A general? A Grisha who broke the boundaries of the Orders and achieved the impossible? An actual living saint?

Zoya let out a breath. A shadow passed on Nikolai’s face, his expression darkening to some kind of disappointment as if he already knew what she was going to say. But considering everything they had been through, it was definitely safe to say he knew her no matter how good she was at hiding.

She still said it anyway. “I’m just no one.”

“Don’t even go there.”

“You know I wouldn’t say anything I don’t mean, Nikolai. I was meant to be a soldier, to train and lead armies to their victory and be with them until our very last breaths. It was always like that.” And when Nikolai looked like he was about to contradict her, Zoya beat him to it by raising a finger to silence him. “Don't. There's nothing to say. And don’t start with me by saying you were never meant for the crown, nor the throne. That may have been the case, but you are what Ravka has needed for a long time. You fought for it instead of selling it. Hurt for it, bled for it, almost dying twice just to keep it from the mud. If that’s not what a king does, then I don’t know what I should call it.”

“A job well done?” he offered, laughing lightly when she gave him a glare that could silence the Second Army in a heartbeat. “I’m merely joking, Nazyalensky.”

“Can you be serious for once?” Zoya shook her head, heading over to one of the benches and slumping down on it.

It was only then she felt the weight of today’s war come back to her, and she found herself not wanting to stand up for a moment. Maybe she would just stay here until the madness outside passed, though she knew it would take a while.

She hunched forward with her eyes trained on her hands clasped together on her knees. She couldn’t bear to look at him as of the moment, and it irked her as it felt like she was hiding yet again and she was already tired of doing that. But when an enormous responsibility was suddenly presented to her, along with the ability to hold power over everything else, didn’t she have the right to hesitate or even think about it?

It felt like being appointed to the Grisha Triumvirate again after the war the Darkling waged that almost took Ravka down with it, and they were forced to stand up on their own feet to save the country from drowning right after fighting for their lives. It was never fair, but they braved through it.

But at what cost?

It doesn’t stop with us. It never does.

It was what David always used to say, and Zoya found those words haunting her every night after his death, knowing all too well she could have done so much better to protect him and save Genya from her pain. If it didn’t stop with them, what difference would it make if it was her seated on the throne?

Ravka was finally free, even if not completely yet, but the light at the end of the tunnel they had long since walked through was already bright as any star could have been.

A shadow on the marbled floor caught her eyes, and she looked up just in time to see Nikolai kneel in front of her, taking her hands in his. She almost—almost—wrenched away from him, but then she realized that it was him, the boy who wore his heart on his sleeve and bared everything to her without a second thought. He was looking up at her with such a soft, understanding expression on his face that she wondered if she was seeing right.

She blinked, and then she felt as if she was back at the ship again, hearing his confession that took the breath out of her lungs and made her heart beat like it had never been before.

And for the past years of her life and the rest that would still come, Zoya was sure she would never feel as frightened as she was now.

You promised yourself you would speak your heart when you had the chance, didn’t you? she scolded in her mind. Only the saints knew how much she had waited for this moment between them after the war. She almost didn’t have the chance. So why was she trying to run away from it again?

He was so, so near, and yet she was still terrified to reach for him.

"I can't do this, Nikolai," she said instead.

"I will be by your side." Always, was what hung at the end and not said aloud, but she knew he meant it.

Zoya felt a small smile on her lips, the urge to touch his face becoming stronger than her will to fight it. What was stopping her? Her pride? Maybe it really was that, but her damn pride had already cost her enough.

So she reached a hand up to his cheek, her touch gentle as the breeze that fluttered in the room when her skin met his.

Nikolai learned in her hand almost immediately, a content sigh coming from his lips.

"I would give my life for Ravka over and over again, as I know you would too," she whispered, her thumb gently brushing his cheekbone. She dropped her hand and put it on top of his. "But I don't think this is what's best for Ravka. We have fought and lived through the wars it suffered. We vowed to drag it from the mud it had fallen into until our last breaths, and now that it can finally stand up on its own, I think it's had its fill of kings and queens and wars. Ravka now needs to listen to its people."

Zoya knew it sounded ambitious and audacious, but it could be a start, a beginning of a new age. The journey would be a tedious one, as always, but she knew it was worth the try. Ravka was always worth the try, no matter how much it took from them.

Silence stretched between them for a moment, and Zoya was thankful for it being a comfortable one rather than a tense pause. She searched his eyes, trying to find the stubborn glint in them as a sign that he was thinking of arguing back. But she didn't see it.

There was only the look he had always sent her way, the same one he had when he bared his heart to her in the airship, and she felt her breath hitch in her throat. She really ought to strangle him for making her feel this way.

"Spoken like a true queen, I'd say," said Nikolai with a laugh.

Zoya scoffed, grateful for the sudden distraction. "I remember that I didn't agree with the proposal of me being the new queen, so that means you're still the king, Your Idiocy."

There was a hint of an amused grin at the corner of his lips. "What can I say? When I thought of what's best for Ravka, my mind instantly thought of you."

"Didn’t I ask you to be serious even just for once?"

"You speak as if I were making those words up."

"If you know what's best for you and Ravka, you would stop trying to change my mind because my decision would remain the same."

Nikolai smiled ruefully. "I know." He paused, turning his attention to their joined hands. There was an unusual slump in his shoulders, something she rarely saw him have. He sighed, and then slowly pressed his forehead to her knuckles. "I thought I lost you today," he said quietly.

Her heart clenched at the pain in his voice, but she understood it. She almost lost him today too. "You won't be rid of me that easily, Nikolai," Zoya said.

He chuckled, and it sounded more in pain than in amusement. Then he drew in a shaky breath before looking back up at her. "When I saw you fall, I thought the worst and I—" He stopped with a dry laugh. "But I guess you're right, I won't be able to get rid of you that easily."

She felt a smile curl on her lips. "I should be the one telling you that, but I figure it can go both ways," Zoya said, and before she could make herself hide away again, she gave in and lowered her forehead to touch his. In a soft whisper, she said, "But I've never been more grateful you're still here with me."

They were still here, alive and breathing, and she was glad they both got to see the end of the day. When she felt herself plummeting to the ground, she thought that it was her end, and she had accepted it. Exhaustion crept in her bones, her own strength not enough to whip up a draft to cushion her fall. But there was a gust of wind—from Nadia or from Adrik—that caught her, saving her from the deadly impact.

And then a voice. His voice, full of worry and hurt and pain, pleading her to wake. He was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes again, and it was during that moment she allowed herself to wish that he would be the one she would wake up to every morning, and the last one she’d see when she fell asleep at night.

It had reminded Zoya of the time she saved the king from falling once, back when they were just soldiers fighting for their lives in the Fold, and she wondered if he had been glad to see her when he opened his eyes.

Nikolai reached a hand up to touch her cheek, his fingers light as if she were the most important thing in the world that he was finally allowed to touch. His eyes never wavered from hers.

"I would still choose you, you know," he suddenly said, his voice trembling. "Even if you didn't want to do anything with me anymore. Even if you were in some place else, reassigned to another position. Even if you didn't want me." He tried to smile, but it seemed to take more effort than just not. "I'd still want you. I'd still want you with everything in me."

Zoya already knew how he felt for her beforehand, his confession back in the ship sharpening into focus in her mind. And yet she still felt like she heard him bare his heart to her for the first time, even when he had already been doing it for years.

It would be so easy to tell him that she felt the same; those three words that were hanging between them for a long time begging to be set free. But still a small, terrified part of her held back, and she realized that it was the girl she had once been, the girl who believed in everything before the cruel world took that magic away from her and replaced it with fear.

This is what love does. It took away everything, blinded one's logic and reasoning, and even brought pain that no one should feel. Why should people hurt when all they ever wanted was to have and feel the love they deserved?

“I know I’ve already told you this on the ship,” Nikolai continued, the rueful smile returning to his lips. “But I wanted you to hear it again, as I almost didn’t have the chance today. No prince and no power could ever make me stop wanting you.”

Zoya felt her breath get knocked out from her lungs again, but her doubts and insecurities continued to cloud her, lingering in her as if they were the only ones her heart knew of. “Maybe for now you will want me.” She paused, unexpected tears stinging her eyes. She closed them instead; she didn’t think she could bear looking at him. “But soon enough you will grow to hate me. I’m too sharp. Too angry. Too spiteful.” And you deserve so much better than that. “That’s who I am, Nikolai.”

“Zoya,” Nikolai murmured.

She felt his breath ghost over her skin, and yet she still refused to look at him. She couldn’t. But if there was one thing she knew about Nikolai Lantsov, it was his persistence for everything.

“Zoya, my love. Look at me,” he said softly, and this time Zoya finally obliged him.

An unwanted ache clogged her throat as she met his gaze, bright and warm and open. There was nothing in them except the sincerity he always had around her. In this light, his hazel eyes looked almost golden. He had a golden spirit. Then it struck her, as she remembered the words from a memory a long time ago, that maybe she was finally looking at that boy in her aunt’s story. He had been in front of her all along.

Nikolai grinned, his eyes brighter than she had ever seen them, and there were tears clouding them as well. “You speak as if I haven’t seen you at your worst,” he said.

“You will grow tired of me, Nikolai.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said. A tear escaped his eye, and she felt it land on her hand. He let out another breathless laugh. “I’d want you for the rest of my life, Zoya.”

Something broke inside her chest, and then a tear fell from her eye as well. Her fingers intertwined with his, their hold on each other’s hands tightening as if the other would disappear if they let go. He brought her hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. A few tears slipped on her hand as he did, but he had a look of contentment on his face, like he finally felt he was home.

More tears fell from her eyes as she pressed her forehead back to his. For years, she had let herself believe that she wasn’t worthy of being loved, that she was only made to be a soldier, a weapon to be used by her own country.

This is what love does. Zoya had been wrong from the start. Because in the end, Nikolai’s love for her was what made him see past her worst self. Every flaw and every scar, he accepted them wholeheartedly. She didn’t know how he’d come to love her, someone who had avoided any signs of kindness and sincerity he gave her, thinking that it would be used against her later.

There was no denying the pain they had caused each other through the years, when their words were too sharp and they wounded their hearts and pride before they could even have the chance to think of it. And yet they always came back to each other, their faith in each other still there if not stronger before.

Love was never without pain. It would still be felt over and over again because it was real.

And if tearing down the walls she had built around herself and giving her heart away would make her vulnerable to hurting, then perhaps it was something she was willing to do.

Because Nikolai Lantsov was worth every pain.

So Zoya took the leap, drawing him up to her and pressing her mouth to his, and everything felt like it finally clicked into place. He acted immediately, and she could almost feel his smile against her lips. After the long days of wanting, her heart was at peace for once. The Fjerdans could have come back and waged war against them again, but she didn’t care about anything but the warm press of his lips.

When the need for air became stronger than the need for each other’s lips, Zoya pulled away and rested her forehead against his. Her eyes were still clouded with tears when she finally said, “I love you.”

To say that Nikolai’s grin was bright would have been an understatement. In the dull colored room they were in, he seemed to be glowing. He let out another breathless laugh. “I never thought I would hear those words come from you,” he said, his eyes alight with utter bliss. “But for what it’s worth” —he wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb— “I love you too.”

Silence fell around them and everything focused on the man in front of Zoya. Perhaps she could stay here in his arms for another while and ignore the looming responsibilities standing right outside the doors.

She was his, and he was hers. For now, that was all that mattered.

“Is there really nothing that can change your mind?” Nikolai said, breaking the comfortable silence between them, and Zoya wanted nothing more than to strangle him right now.

“You really had to ruin the atmosphere, didn’t you?”

He laughed lightly. “My ruthless Zoya, I am merely joking,” he said, and then his face became serious. For a moment, a small twinge of fear clawed at her heart. “Then what do you think about being a regent? At least until we find someone to rule properly, or until we could transition the monarchy towards something else.” He wrinkled his nose. “I mean, I said I would give you a crown, and this is my last chance to make good on my words even just for a short time. Besides, Regent Nazyalensky does have a nice ring to it.”

Zoya raised an eyebrow, the idea not occurring to her until now. She furrowed her eyebrows. “You actually suggested something reasonable,” she said, earning a pout from the king. She looked at him with mild concern then, realizing the meaning of having a regent. “Are you really abdicating the throne?”

“I’m not joking when I said that the crown was never meant for me, and I think my bloodline really solidified that fact. I realized I was only fighting for this country, not the throne.” He shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And if that’s really your decision, I would be with you in every step of the way. But I hope we can stabilize Ravka until we can have a solution to my....sudden resignation.”

“What’s your plan if ever that time comes?” Zoya knew she was asking so many questions, but she couldn’t help it. This man continued to surprise her with his declarations and she had no idea what could come next. “Play pirate again?”

Nikolai scowled at her, and she wanted to laugh at his expression. “Privateer,” he corrected like always. Then he smiled, his eyes suddenly having a faraway look. “For once, I don’t know. But maybe I would play privateer again as I’ve missed the seas terribly.” Then he turned to her, his expression gentle. “If I ask you to come with me as my first mate then, would you agree?”

Would she? Zoya had never known anything outside her life in Os Alta. For years, it had been a continuous battle for the freedom of the country that took everything from its people, and she had no time to think about her freedom if she ever did retire from being a soldier.

But she could already see glimpses of a future ahead, a quiet and easy life, without any fear of having to go back to war. And in those glimpses, she could see him.

Zoya huffed, making it sound as disbelieving as possible. But she already knew her answer. “I’d make a horrible first mate as I easily get seasick,” she said.

“Ah, but I don’t mind. As long as you’re there with me,” Nikolai said, taking her hands in his again. He pressed another kiss to her knuckles. “So what do you say, Regent Nazyalensky?”

The future was something she had no control over, she always knew that. The only way to know what it held was to continue fighting until she reached it, and as long as she had the right person beside her, she knew she would be alright.

They had always been a team, she and Nikolai, and they would continue to be like that for as long as they lived.

So without another hint of doubt, Zoya intertwined her fingers with his, squeezing his hand gently. “Alright, dearest privateer,” she said. “Let’s keep this country standing upright until then.”

And they would. Together.

#zoyalai #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #rule of wolves #rule of wolves spoilers #row spoilers #or that scene in os kervo hall #where i changed a few things #BC WHERE IS MY HUG OR MY SOFT MOMENT BEFORE THE SAPS LEIGH #:SOB:#they just came from the war #and not once did i ever see a moment of relief #that the love of your life survived the war KLJHASFLKJHASDF #i needed this okay #and as i've said i felt a bit off abt the continuation of ravkan monarchy #but queen zoya works too so #i think the best thing they could do was to be regents for a while until they can do something abt the monarchy #or slowly transition it to a democracy #even if it's going to take a while #nik could still joke abt giving her a crown and actually do it KLJHASFKLHJAS #and i just wanted a more emotionally constipated and terrified zoya having inner turmoil abt love #;-;#and they could sail the seas after #IDK MAN THE POTENTIAL OF THIS SCENE #I JUST WANT IT TO DELIVER MORE #SO HAVE THIS MESS PLS

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lissa-edem · 3 years

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Ravka was many things to him: a grand lady, who required constant courting, a stubborn child, unwilling to stand on its own, and most often, a drowning man – the more Nikolai struggled to save it, the harder it fougt.

👑🦊 King of scars 🦊👑

Well-well-well... Let's talk about the King of my heart, the King of Ravka, the King of our fandow (like... you know, he always drives all crazy) and the King, who did everything, that he could and couldn't do, for his country, for his first home. Because the second is the True Sea. By the way, I really love, how it is called in Russian: Istinomore. As if it was a part of very-very old russian fairy tale.

So... I haven't read the Rule of wolves yet, since I was waiting for the translation. I'm not too good at English to read the whole book in the original version. But. I can still share my opinion, using the grisha trilogy and, especially, the King of scars.

I got acquainted with Leigh's creativity due to the huge amount of fanfics, which belongs to one amazing person. And I fell in love with our incredible Zoyalai at the first sight. Nope, I chose them as independent characters, not as a couple. I just wanna to say, I immediatly saw this: there are three things, which are absolutely significant for Nikolai: Zoya (oh, come on), the True Sea and Ravka.

He is completly the best King, that people, who live in Ravka, have ever had. I think, Lantsov's personality is extremely multifaceted, but for his country Nikolai wasn't just a war hero or a sexy handsome with crown. He restored order after a.. limitless chaos, which was brought by the civil war. He did all his best to give ravkans everything, they need, everything, they deserve!!! To give that people peace and prosperity... Nikolai kept all his promises. And this is the first reason, why I love him to the moon back.

I wanna you to always remember about, what Lantsov did for Ravka....

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov aesthetic #nikolai x zoya #zoyalai #grishaverse #the grisha trilogy #shadow and bone #siege and storm #ruin and rising #nikolai duology #king of scars #rule of wolves #grisha netflix #netflix shadow and bone #leigh bardugo #aesthetic #help me i love them so much

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tricewithaz · 3 years

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Are u gonna link your playlists? 🥺

I have no idea how long this has been sitting in my inbox but i literally just saw it lmao im so sorry

N e ways here are my grishaverse playlists (im assuming those are the ones you want cause i think those are the only ones ive talked about here lmao):

Like calls to Like : a Darklina playlist. Most if not all of these songs are about toxic relationships. Sexy and angsty and sexy angsty. Almost spooky at times. A bit too much of Rosalía but it's not my fault she has an entire album about this.

I would crawl to you: A Kanej playlist. I would honestly like to add more songs to this one. The best way I can describe this playlist is sort of dark sounding yet comforting????

True north: A Malina playlist. Another playlist that is very fucking incomplete. sorry. These songs are angsty love and comfort.

Brek x Brek: A Kaz playlist. Mostly 2000s rock this means you're definitely gonna find Arctic Monkeys and MCR here. And lots of C Tangana. Major l have millions of illegal dollars and just don't give a shit vibes. Also just a tiny bit of angst.

The Dragon Queen: A Zoya playlist. This playlist sounds like pain, female revenge, teenage love and drinking shots off someones belly button all at the same time.

Not us: A 2nik (or as kolarpem calls them dominikolai but 2nik is clearly superior) playlist. All I'm gonna say about this is I'm sorry.

you know what no i lied I'm not sorry. also there's like 3 actually happy songs in there so I'm redeemed.

The Demon King: A Nikolai playlist. This is my favourite one and probably the most diverse one in terms of sound. This is drop it like its hot, I haven't had a shower in a month, love is the only thing i know, i take eurovision seriously, horny jail, disco revival, and 45 year old classic rock male fan all at the same time. But isn't that just Nikolai. I might be projecting here.

Why don't you kiss me sweetly in the morning: A Zoyalai playlist. This is very much sad but disney princess but badass but horny and that's literally it.

Those are all of my GV playlists! for now at least. If you want to take a look at my spotify and diagnose me this is it

Have fun hope this helps you daydream at your most boring lectures or meetings or whatever you do on the daily.

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wafflesandkruge · 4 years

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have your way with me until you go (zoyalai)

Nikolai and Zoya's morning routines are like clockwork. She wakes him with a drop of stimulant. He makes a witty quip. Neither of them acknowledge what's between them.

So when Zoya shows up late, it's reasonable to assume that nothing else will go as planned.

@grishaverseonline mission 06: free for all

a/n: it’s literally just 2k of pining, pls take it, it’s all i have to offer. meant to be a parallel to the carriage scene at the beginning of kos but it got a bit out of hand 😔 big thanks to @storm-dog-pirate and @mareshes for helping me beta!

ao3

---

When Nikolai woke, it was less surfacing gently from the sea of sleep than being abruptly spat out onto dry land by a monster. He inhaled sharply, his mind instantly assaulted with his surroundings. He was on his bed at the Grand Palace. Chains were once again fastened around his wrists. And an unfairly lovely face was hovering above his, her dark curls brushing his bare chest.

“Zoya,” he greeted with a groan, “how kind of you to grace me with your delightful presence this fine morning. I feel healthier already.”

She barely spared him a glance as she leaned over him to unlock the shackle on his right wrist. He caught a whiff of her hair, the same strangely familiar wildflower scent as always.

“Getting a head start on the flattery, are we?” Her voice was rough, strained. He could see a near imperceptible tremor in her hands as she fitted her key into the lock. It took her multiple tries to get the stubborn thing to turn. Odd, when she’d practically perfected the technique of unchaining a king from his bed months ago.

He shifted to get a closer look at her. Dark shadows bloomed under her eyes, her brows furrowed as she attempted to unlock the last shackle. Her hair was in sore need of brushing. Saints, had she really emerged from her rooms looking like that? Perhaps she was human like the rest of them after all.

“Late night?” he attempted. “Fun night?”

“Only you would think of fun while facing war on six fronts, my king.” She moved away as soon as the shackle sprang open as if she didn’t want to be near him for any longer than necessary.

He sat up and watched her retreat into the sitting room, rubbing at his sore wrists. Had he done something to offend her recently? Besides daring to breathe the same air as her, naturally. He pondered the question as he washed and dressed mechanically.

When he emerged from his room, he found Zoya hovering in front of a gilded mirror with a ribbon in her hands. As he watched, she attempted to pull her hair into something more manageable than its current frazzled state, but each time she’d miss a strand or the knot would become undone as soon as she dropped her hands. His eyes met hers in the mirror. The dark smudges under her eyes only seemed to make them bluer than ever. An untold secret seemed to lurk behind their depths, but she’d probably sooner jump out the window than confide in him.

“You’re a mess, Zoya.”

“Says the man who was just chained to his bed.” There wasn’t nearly enough venom in her voice to reassure him of his general’s wellbeing. He crossed the room and plucked the ribbon from her hands. She made no move to stop him.

“You know, I once had a promising future as a hairdresser,” he remarked idly as he took a strand of her hair in his hands after a moment’s hesitation. It was impossibly silky, and if he’d been wearing his gloves, he was sure it would have slipped right out of his hands. The dark scars on his fingers were hidden among the loose curls, and for just a moment, he could pretend he was just another man. But Zoya would never be just another woman to him, would she? He used his fingers to carefully comb out the worst of the tangles.

“Is that so?” The words were a challenge, or perhaps an invitation. He could never quite tell with her.

“Girls would line up at the door when they heard I was in town just to get the newest styles done by me,” he boasted. It was true, to an extent. By “girls,” he’d meant Dominik’s two little sisters, Faina and Polina who had adored their brother’s mysterious friend. They’d forced him to arrange their hair just like the ladies at court, and because he never did anything only halfway, he’d bribed one of his mother’s servants to teach him just so he’d have something to delight them with. For a moment, he could hear Dominik’s warm laughter as his sisters eagerly showed off their pretty braids.

Some prince you are, he’d said with a grin as the two of them tore into his mother’s sweet pastries. All you’re good for is making the ladies happy.

Not just the ladies, Nikolai had wanted to say, but Dominik had already turned to yell at his sisters for playing too close to the river.

But now Dominik was gone, and all he had left was the broken country that had failed him. And Zoya, always Zoya.

His fingers skimmed the warm skin at her neck as he pulled back another strand of hair. Zoya was barely moving, only letting out the occasional hiss when he accidentally pulled too hard. As he plaited her hair, his eyes wandered down to the collar of her kefta. It was slung unusually low this morning, and from his vantage point, he could see the tip of one of her scars, the paler strip of skin just visible beneath the fur collar. He couldn’t help thinking about how easy it’d be to lean forward and press a kiss to the back of her neck. Would she pull away? He swallowed and averted his eyes. Saints, this had to be some game of hers, didn’t it? Sometimes he wondered if the little things she did- sending looks his way that from anyone else, would have been a reason for scandal, or letting her fingers linger on his as she handed him something- were on purpose. But he'd heard the stories of the people she’d toyed with when she was younger and crueler. She played for the sake of the game, not the prize, and if the stories were true, she had yet to lose. He was never quite sure if she was playing the same game with him, but if she was, her winning streak wasn't going to be broken. He blinked and focused on Zoya’s reflection again.

“Zoya.”

“What?”

“What’s wrong?”

As expected, she crossed her arms and scowled into the mirror. “Nothing. Hurry up so we can be on our way, or people will talk.”

“People already talk. Why do you look like you stayed out drinking with Genya and didn’t get a wink of sleep?” He pressed the issue, not sure if she would tell him anything at all. Even after three years of rebuilding a country together, there were still some lines Zoya refused to cross.

“Maybe I did go out drinking with Genya.” Her voice was curt, clipped. He didn’t believe her for an instant.

“Without inviting me? How treasonous.”

“You were unwanted.”

At least her poisonous tongue was back. He supposed it was better than nothing. His braid finished, he tied it off with a neat bow. “There,” he said softly, admiring his handiwork. He let his hands linger in her hair for a moment longer before pulling them back. “Now you look a fraction more presentable.”

In the mirror, Zoya’s lips quirked upwards. “What an excellent valet you make.”

He was instantly reminded of that night in the carriage, Zoya snug in his arms as they played the role of sated lovers. She’d seen him at his worst, and yet she was still here every morning to wake him and face the country together. He supposed he ought to have returned the favor somehow, but what did he have left to give? Somehow, Zoya didn’t seem like someone who’d have use for his eternal gratitude or respect.

“Your buttons are done wrong,” he muttered as he caught sight of her kefta in the mirror. Either she’d had a very good night, or a very bad night, but he couldn’t decide which was worse. He spun her by the shoulders and hesitated for a moment before kneeling. Vasily’s voice echoed in his head as he refastened the first of the pearl buttons. A king never kneels, brother. But his brother had never met Zoya Nazyalensky.

He glanced up at her, but her gaze was faraway, her arms crossed over her chest as she worried at her bottom lip.

“A king’s kneeling in front of you, shouldn’t you be a bit more excited?” he quipped, somewhat desperate to get a normal reaction from her.

She raised a brow. “I’ve had plenty of men kneel before me in the past. Why would a king be any different unless he offers me a country as well?”

He moved on to the buttons over her stomach. “If I recall correctly, I already did. You weren’t thrilled.”

She stiffened. He rose to his feet again as he finished the buttons over her chest. The pearls gleamed in a neat line down the front of her kefta, nestled in the whorls of silver embroidery. He could spend hours tracing the patterns with his eyes, and he often did during particularly trying Triumvirate meetings. He resisted the urge to trace one of the spirals with a finger. Finally, he got to the buttons at her neck.

"Do take care next time to not look like..." His voice trailed off as his eyes left the saints forsaken buttons for a moment to find Zoya's exquisite face entirely too close to his. Even exhausted, her features still spoke of regality and poise, her blue eyes bright and defiant as they stared right back at him. Nikolai's eyes tried to return to the task at hand, but they met a distraction on the way, namely, her lips. Saints, her lips. He swallowed hard and tried to force his fingers to move.

"Like what?" she demanded.

"Like..."

A girl in need of kissing.

"...a toddler who tried to dress herself," he finished weakly. Then, as if his hand had a mind of its own, it drifted upwards and swept an errant lock of Zoya’s hair back behind her ear. His palm brushed her cheek and hovered there. He could scarcely breathe as if her closeness had sucked all the air from the room.

Zoya peered up at him from under her lashes, her gaze inscrutable. Then she sighed and let her cheek rest against his palm for the briefest heartbeat. Her warmth had barely registered before she was stepping back again, her general’s mask firmly back in place as if nothing had happened. Nikolai tried not to let it sting too much as he tucked his hands into his coat pockets.

“Anything else for me to fix? A broken shoe? A lonely heart?”

The last one was a jest, but Zoya’s lips pursed as if he’d caused a problem she’d have to fix later. “No. Let’s go. The Triumvirate has been waiting long enough.”

She turned to go, then paused halfway to the door. A foolish seed of hope took root in Nikolai’s heart, only to be trampled with her next words.

“Don’t forget your gloves.”

She swept out of the room without another backwards glance, the scent of wildflowers and thunderstorms left in her wake.

He would play her game, he decided as he found his gloves and slipped them on. Having his heart broken by Zoya Nazyalensky was still preferable to the impossibility of staying away from her.

#y e a r n i n g #anyways i'm still screaming in the distance about nik kneeling for her #there was like an alternate ending where it was sadder but am asked for an almost kiss so #be grateful #grishaverseonline #kos #king of scars #kos writing #shadow and bone #nikolai #zoya #zoyalai #dominik #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #my writing

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