#~gas was not that bad a weapon it wasn't that effective~

[icryyoumercy]

i love when academics who are great in their very specific fields claim things that are so easily and simply disproven by even the most rudimentary understanding of a field that is, on the surface, completely unrelated to it

[rallamajoop]

RE's Dulvey Daily newspaper, and the Deep Lore (TM) of the sinister Horn of Plenty pharmaceutical company

There is some wonderful nonsense to be found in the unused assets of RE8. One favourite examples is this one texture asset created for the collectable-document-item titled simply "Old News Clipping" that you can find early on in Ethan's home. This is not an item you can pick up and examine, the screencap above is all you can see of the newspaper: folded so that the name is abbreviated to "The Du", with the cover article similarly cropped down to "Horn of Plenty Facing F". The actual headline referenced in the document text ("Curtain Closes on The Dulvey Gas Incident") isn't visible here at all.

But the complete texture created for this double-folded paper covers the newspaper's whole front page, and it is huge. I've broken it in half to make it a little more tumblr-friendly.

The full front page shows the paper is called "The Dulvey Daily", with the headlining article, "Horn of Plenty Pharmaceutical Company Facing Financial Dilemma". But it doesn't stop there: beneath the fold we've got two more huge articles ("Twin Sisters Sail Mediterranean Conference Tomorrow" and "A Real Good Boy! Dog Saves Child's Life"). There's no real text for these ‒ text is deliberately blurred what little is legible suggests it's basically a lot of lorem ipsum-style placeholder material ‒ but someone put some real work into all those photos all the same.

The article we're actually looking for is the smallest on the page, crammed down into a corner (and here, confusingly, titled "Baker Investigation Called Off" ‒ presumably the English title was changed later and no-one saw the need to update an image that wasn't going to be visible anyway). And that's a detail I like a lot, given the whole point of this file is to communicate the way the whole Dulvey incident has been swept so far under the carpet by the authorities that it's not even worth a proper local headline. Really, and it's a shame the full asset isn't viewable in-game, given how effectively the layout communicates how un-newsworthy the events of RE7 are now thought to be.

You can actually find another issue of "The Dulvey Daily" in RE7 ‒ and it's more what I'd expect for this kind of asset, in that the same title "Ghosts Sighted In Bayou" appears twice on the same page. Nothing wrong with that kind of shortcut: if people aren't going to see both sides, why bother adding more individuality? The asset team's got better stuff to do.

Still, it's a nice touch that both games uses the same fonts and layouts for these two issues of "The Dulvey Daily," so here they are side by side.

But by far my favourite thing about this page is another detail you won't notice unless you get to see that whole asset. Let's take another look at that headline story:

Now, in the RE universe, you tell me a "pharmaceutical company" is involved in "financial dilemma", and my instant response is, oh shit, did they just get busted for making bio-weapons on the sly? Are they about to try and 'fix' their financial woes by getting into dodgy research areas? Don't tell me it's not likely!

But it gets worse, because I have seen that baby food jar somewhere before! Heck, I have formulated semi-serious theories about the whole pre-timeline of the game based on those baby food jars!

The game draws your attention to them on both your visits to that pantry (in slightly contradictory ways, but shh, just put those little details aside).

We can get an even better look at the label on the asset texture, and...

...yup, Horn of Plenty baby-food, right there in orange-and-white. Yikes, maybe it's a good thing Miranda!Mia wasn't keen on letting Rose actually eat any of that stuff! XD

Now, I don't really think this is pointing to any deep-lore about the Horn of Plenty company or their potential role as the New Big Bad of RE9, or anything. Far more likely, this is just someone on the asset team amusing themselves with a cute little call-back to some other asset they just worked on, where no player is ever likely to see it.

But now I've seen it. And now I too am duly amused.

[worldofedd]

Tord

General Bio

Full Name: Tord Karlsen

Nicknames/Aliases: "Tordie" (by Blaze)

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Age: 25

Species: Robot (Currently, post "My Life as A Norwegian Robot"), Human (Formerly)

Orientation: Pansexual Panromantic

Family: Erik Karlsen (Father), Nora Karlsen (Mother)

Nationality: Norwegian

Occupation: Technician (Currently, post return), Mechanic (Formerly)

Eye Colors: Green (Normal), Yellow (When in joy), Blue (When sad), Army Green (In disgust), Red (When angry), Purple (When afraid), Pink (when aroused), and Orange (When annoyed)

Hair Color: Brown

Voice Claim: Brandon McInnis (Male Alear from Fire Emblem Engage)**

[His appearance as a robot here!]

*Yes he has a canon voice actor in Legacy, but due to the actions of said voice actor (I will not go into detail, but lust just say he did some bad touchies), my friend and I gave him a new voice.

Personality

Despite what his clone would have you believe, Tord, the real Tord, is not evil. Sure, he can be impulsive, wild, and foolish like the rest of his friends, but his loyalty holds true. If there's somethings that he and his clone do share, however, is their love and interest of machinery, robotics, and weapons.

Tord can be considered the "smart one", out of all of them, he has the most knowledge and expertise on things such as technology and weaponry. He's not as talkative as the others and tends to be more levelheaded compared to the them. Despite his attempts to look "cool", at the end of the day, he's a dork and a nerd.

In fact, Tord used to be quite trigger happy like his clone. However, that simmered down a bit after getting mechanized. Having an built-in arsenal of weapons originally meant to end so many innocent people's lives tends to put things in perspective, ya know?

Background

As for when he became a robot, you can thank Red Leader for that (see the lore post for more details). For when the crew were going to confront the clone, his cronies kidnapped Tord and turned him from a man into a machine.

Thankfully, he was able to escape since the people in charge of reprogramming him turned him on before the reprogramming, thus he was able to keep his (figurative) humanity intact.

Abilities and Quirks

Weapon arsenal

Tord has two modes "Attack Mode" and "Safe Mode". He made a "Safe Mode" function so he doesn't accidentally attack the innocent when out in public. When in attack mode, Tord has access to an arsenal of weapons, both non-lethal and lethal. Non-lethal weapons are used for humans and otherwise non-expendable species, whereas lethal weapons are used for robots, zombies, and all matter of expendable species, as well as a last resort. Some of these weapons are, but not limited to:

Non-lethal weapons: Knockout gas, tranquilizer darts, tazer hands, etc

Lethal weapons: Arm cannon blaster, missiles, flamethrower, etc

Microchips

Tord has various microchips kept in a drawer-like compartment of his body (ala Baymax). These chips give him several functions such as tasting food (as he originally wasn't able to after being mechanized), prevent him from being reprogramed (firewall chip), and translating and speaking other languages (as long as they are known human languages, ala French or Japanese).

Pain Immunity

He can also repair himself when he needs to, no doctors or hospital visits required!

Flight (via rocket feet)

Infinite power source

His clone discovered a type of energy that can power something indefinitely, and used just a fraction of that energy to power RoboTord.

Smoke Immunity

I.e he can smoke without feeling any adverse effects

Skills

Repairing

Technical Expertise

Robotics

Firearm proficiency

[hobbs-deep]

current review and thoughts

so, after catching up on one piece here's my break down

i watched all the episodes pre timeskip in dub

-east blue saga was good, intro was fun

-the arabasta saga felt like it was playing the long game, little garden opened elbaf and giants to the world we the audience still haven't really seen a lot of that island (we saw it in big mom flash back but not really much else). drum island was a fun arc, dr. Kureha is amazing and i wish we had more time with her. and arabasta itself was turned into a sitcom for me bc i heard about the crocomom theory. so every time i saw croc fighting luffy i would say shit like "that's no way to talk to your kid!" other than that, good intro to the seven warlords

-sky island saga is prob one of my top fave sagas in op, instead of being super focused on all the battles as much the story was more interested in clever solutions, Usopp really shined in this arc, he felt more engaging with jaya and skypiea, the connections to Rodger also were very fun

--not a saga but the G-8 arc was some of the best writing i have seen in awhile. i know it was a filler arc but it covered so much, reinforcing the use of dials, the relationship the crew had and giving us such a believable scenario in this world. vice-admiral Jonathan was such a charismatic dude, we also got introduced to the Coup de Burst (although it wasn't called that) as an escape method. flying out of danger on a ship

-water 7 saga really took the story in stride, it felt like one piece was really finding it's pacing and the backstories didn't feel as long winded as before. the intro to the Ancient Weapons here felt more earned, long ring was a bit too much for this saga though

-summit war saga was the first time i felt that this is truly a larger world. that while we have been watching the story from the pov of the straw hats and their adventure this world keeps moving no matter what the crew does. the world got fleshed out and it was like when your a kid and it clicks in your brain that the world is bigger than you thought. post war arc hurt in ways i didn't think it would, but we got intro'd to my favorite character JINBEI

-timeskip was a good time Weatheria was a place i wanted to see more of

--i watched all the post time skip in sub and as much as i could through One Pace--

-fish-man island saga, good return quick and effective re-intro to everybody, BUT the actual arc on fish-man? it was so long. this was the arc that made me stop watching op in the first place bc the pacing was weird and it didn't feel like the story was progressing much. now that i've come back to it with fresh eyes it had a bunch of answers to questions set up in the east blue saga and intro'd JoyBoy by name.

-dressrosa saga was very raw. there was a bunch of concepts and things happening that made me want to punch mingo, and gas-fart in the jaw. the call back to Noland was amazing and this arc really kicked Usopp up my list of fave characters. Law got swept up with the crew and i want him fully adopted by the end of the series

-whole cake island saga, sanji's a dumbass. like his backstory was so sad but he was still a dumbass for thinking he could sacrifice himself and no one would come after him. big mom's backstory was in a word disturbing. the reverie (levely arc?) gave more depth to the world gov. i hate the celestial dragons even more now and want only bad things for saint charlos

-wano country saga is still happening, it's prob toward the end now but the whole under cover aspect bc it's a closed country was a cool concept. the straw hats really are showing their growth in this saga. the trust they have in each other and the "he's dead? yeah- no he ain't you might wanna check again" attitude was everywhere in how they acted.

im excited for the next arc and im glad i gave one piece another shot.

the more people told me to watch it the less i wanted to, but when they talked about the themes and stories being told i decided to give it another shot. glad i did.

im prob gonna go back and slowly re watch post timeskip bc i missed the filler.

[useless-englandfacts]

Can you explain more about why Churchill was bad?

i'm not sure if you're being serious here because i don't think anything i'm about to say is a secret and i feel like we opened this discussion as a society during the summer of 2020, but i'll give you the benefit of the doubt by answering sincerely. putting this under a cut because it's long.

most of the hatred for him comes from his awful views on race and colonial policies, which very few books/documentaries/whatever about him seriously examine. scholars who do explore this less illustrious side of churchill are dismissed, shouted down, ridiculued and condemned but... here at useless england facts we advocate truthful engagements with british history so.

first off he believed in eugenics and racial hierarchies (white protestants at the top of course). he praised what he called "aryan stock", he didn't think black people were as capable or efficient as white people, in 1911 he banned interracial boxing matches so white fighters wouldn't be seen losing to black ones, he described anticolonial campaigners as "savages armed with ideas", and here's another quote from the man:

"I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place." - churchill talking to the palestine royal comission (1937)

one of his worst moments has to be during the bengal famine in 1943 - we answered a question on this before here, so i'll keep this explanation short in saying that he basically he did nothing to help the people of bengal (india was still a british possession at the time) and even blamed them for the famine because they "breed like rabbits". around 3 million people died.

sticking with india for a moment, i know gandhi wasn't a saint, but churchill despised him from a far-right perspective because he hated the idea of indian independence. amongst other things, he called gandhi a "malignant subversive fanatic" and a "seditious middle temple lawyer, now posing as a fakir of a type well known to the east, striding half-naked up the steps of the viceregal palace".

note here too that even some of his conservative contemporaries - including future prime minister anthony eden - were alarmed by churchill's friendliness with the far-right on this issue, so don't bother with that "he was simply a product of his time" stuff. if you want to read more about churchill and gandhi, here is a good place to start.

he hated islam too (might as well cover all bases), calling it as dangerous as a dog with rabies in his book the river war.

he was a zionist, but also shared the antisemitism that was rife amongst people of his class. he wrote in 1937 that the jews "are inviting persecution - that they have been partly responsible for the antagonism from which they suffer" and that "there is the feeling that the Jew is an incorrigible alien, that his first loyalty will always be towards his own race"... quotes that i think speak for themselves.

he's been roundly criticised for his policies in iraq, as he decided to use the royal air force to control the country (because this would mean he needed fewer troops compared to armed combat on the ground). thousands of iraquis were killed by bombs, and when subsequent kurdish and arab uprisings started to threaten british rule, churchill pushed for using chemical weapons - and even some members of his cabinet said this was taking it too far. churchill's pov?

"I do not understand this squeamishness about the use of gas… I am strongly in favour of using poisoned gases against uncivilized tribes. The moral effect should be so good that the loss of life should be reduced to a minimum… Gases can be used which cause great inconvenience and would leave a lively terror and yet would leave no serious permanent affect on most of those affected."

so you know. at least he's not killing them. bear in mind that the use of chemical weapons in warfare was in violation of the 1899 hague declaration concerning asphyxiating gasses, and the 1907 hague convention on land warfare. he once again considered chemical weapons in 1940 so no lessons learned here.

during his time as secretary of state for war and air he had to deal with the irish war of independence! and he was therefore responsible for deploying the black and tans to fight the IRA in ireland - these guys have quite the reputation for excessive brutality, attacking civilians/civilian property, extrajudicial killings, arson, looting - you name it, they've probably done it.

it wasn't just muslims, hindus, non-white people, irish people, jewish people, etc. etc. etc. that he hated, however. he was also (perhaps unsurprisingly) anti-union, as shown by his handling of the 1910 tonypandy riots in south wales when he was home secretary. a dispute arose between some miners and the mine owners and so churchill sent in soldiers who allegedly fired shots (i think this is disputed, but sending in the army is bad enough imo). soldiers were also deployed over the 1911 transport workers strike in liverpool and shots really were fired that time, with two people being killed.

not strike action but he was also dubiously involved in the deaths of a couple of anarchists during the siege of sidney street, again in 1911.

these are just the headlines and i would encourage you to do more of your own research (though i recognise that it's easier said than done in britain), but the man pretty much covered all bases here so i think this is enough to be getting on with.

[valeskakingdom]

Request

Could I request a part 3? Jerome keeps the reader as his hostage for popularity and attention. Reader is really fond of the attention she gets as well and eventually sleeps with Jerome again? In the end she sees how Galavan kills him and is really sad?

Here's part 4!!

Had to split it in two again...I'm sorry. Post the other half right after this one here!!

Gif credit: @bonniebirddoesgifs

Jerome x female reader (part 4)

Warnings: smut

Word count: 1877

*Days later*

Living with Jerome wasn't as bad as you actually thought. Yes, his possessiveness and always playing the boss annoyed you a lot but you've learned to ignore it.

You literally zoned everything out that made you feel uncomfortable or that annoyed you. And it worked. You were a lot calmer than before, you didn't start panicking immediately when Greenwood or Dobkins were staring at you. You stayed calm because sooner or later they would end up arguing with Jerome if he got aware of it because he hated people staring at you.

You even found 2 new friends: Tabitha and Barbara.

They both were kind to you and helped you how to defend yourself against all these strange lunatics. They treated you how to use a gun, how to fight with or without weapons. You weren't a pro but you got it fast.

It was just a little ordinary for you that they both kept fucking behind Theo's back but it didn't matter to you. You did that with Jerome as well, well, it was more or less behind Theo's back. You both weren't really quiet and you both did it pretty often...and the bites and marks on your neck were pretty obvious because your neck was full of it.

Right now, you were relaxing in your bed watching the news:

"Breaking News

Since a few days (Y/n) (Y/ln) will be missed. Her friend (Y/bff/n) (Y/bff/ln) told that she was about to visit them after watching the cruel claim the Maniax' shot caller Jerome Valeska was giving us. Her friend said she tried to call (Y/n) several times but she didn't pick up the phone. Her friend's afraid that either the Maniax have kidnapped or killed her.

If you see her or have an idea where (Y/n) (Y/ln) could be then please report to the GCPD. Every information can be useful!"

You turned the TV off.

You smirked for yourself. Yes, it sucked that you couldn't be with your friends not could you go out - but you loved this big amount of attention. You were the person peope were looking for. Everyone's eyes were on you as if you were a famous person.

Suddenly your door opened - Barbara.

"Hey darling- ugh, is Jerome still in the bathroom?" She sighed frowning "He should hurry up. Time is running!"

"Calm down Babs," you giggled a little "Wanna watch the news with me? I'm in the TV! My friend is missing me."

"Yeah, I've seen that already." She gave you a short smile "We just need to be careful now. Don't want cops chasing my ass."

"Understandable." You nodded "But...you know, somehow I like this attention. All eyes on me...I never really had that. I was just a simple girl, you could even call me a ghost because no one really noticed me...and now the whole city knows me because I just 'disappeared'. I feel famous and happy."

"Probably because you're famous, somewhat." Barbara gave you a grin flickering her tongue.

"May be, I just know I want more of it. I love being the head of missed people, and I love being the headline." you chuckled letting out a sigh in happiness.

"Wow, Jerome's really got a big effect on you, darling." Barbara scoffed.

"Why's that?"You frowned not understanding what she meant.

"Sweetie, days ago you've been the most anxious and shy girl amongst us. You were frightened by everything that was just moving...and look at you now. You're a smart, calm, sassy ass that reaches for fame - as he does." You both chuckled.

"I could tell you the same with Tabitha. She has to be a master in bed for calming you down after a stressed day. I mean, on the one you're bitching around and after Tabitha 'talks to you in private' at night, you're a sunshine in the next morning." I laughed loudly making Barbara blush.

"Says you! I think I don't need to remind you that the whole city can hear you." Barbara mocked with a laughter.

"At least just the city is hearing me." You laughed louder "I'm sorry, I had to."

"Hey ladies,"Jerome came out of the bathroom before Barbara could respond. He was   just wearing a claret gown, his hair was still wet from the shower "I see, we're in a good mood, doll, aren't we?"

"As always," you grinned "Just had a very nice conversation with Barbara."

"Yeah," Barbara grinned, it faded though as she faced Jerome "Now hurry up, ginger. We don't wanna be late." She left quick.

"She's a feisty one, I like that," Jerome just let out a sigh with a short grin closing the door "But I hate being bossed around. I am the boss!"

He made  his way to you slowly. Then he grabbed your hands pulling you fast out of the bed that you stood close to him. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck while wrapped his around your waist.

You knew this rough undertone on him. He tried to be kind in front of you but actually he was pissed of being commanded - especially by a woman.

"I know and she does, too. She doesn't mean to be a bitch," You assured him with giving him a smile "She's just stressed. Probably needs a quick fuck or something to calm down."

"Hm," Jerome just hummed and shrugged, not really paying attention to what you were saying. Instead he grabbed your ass harshly pulling you close to him. You could feel his bulge growing against your leg "Talking about a quick fuck..."

Before you could even answer, Jerome pressed his lips against yours. His hands grabbed your cheeks and pressed your face even more against his to intense the kiss. His light chuckle in the kiss only made let you blush after you let out a little moan. He pressed his body against yours to close the gap between you two. Your lips parted this time to let his tongue explore your mouth and you couldn't help but moan as he slipped his tongue into your mouth fighting for dominance. You r hands wandered up tangling hour fingers into his hair, gripping and pulling his head further down, deepening the kiss.

He pressed you against the wall and slid a knee in the space separating your thighs to position his body between your legs. His hands gripped your ass lifting you up to wrap your legs around his waist. He lowered his head down to leave a bunch of wet kisses on your neck, you pulled him in closer with your hands and bit your lip in arousal. He licked and bit at the soft skin of your neck, leaving his mark there making you gasp. His lips found yours again and once more.

Your shirt was ripped apart from your body by his eagerness to fuck you and he could feel a strip of your bare skin against his. You arched up into him more and suddenly your hands left his head so that you could the knot of his gown. You shove the gown down from his body, now he stood naked in front of you; his errection was strongly pressed against your crotch.

He unclasped your bra hastily and without pulling away from your mouth he tossed it across the room. With your bare breasts against his chest, you felt a rush of heat slowly spread throughout your body.

You tightened your legs around his waist and pressed him even more against your body. You became horny from the wild make out session; you wanted him right here, right now.

His hand reached down and shoved the button of your pants through its hole impatiently. Eagerness was written in his face. He couldn't wait anymore to finally inset his hard member into you, feel the warm and wet walls on his skin, making you moan and scream his name until you cum.

He slid his hands down to your panties, ripping it off from your legs and throwing it behind him. He moaned quietly when he felt just how hot and wet you were for him. You didn't want to wait any longer and neither did he, it was becoming unbearable. You both wanted, even needed pleasure to be satisfied.

Instantly and without any kind of hesitation, he shove his member into your wet entrance. You let out a gasp followed by a moan, your body stretching to accommodate him.

He slowly pulled out before thrusting back in with a sharp snap of his hips.

Your whole body felt weak with every thrust he did into you as every time you had sex with him. You were completely understand his control, he could do everything with you. Your body shivered slightly through this pleasure he was giving you. Every thrust hurt more, each of your moans became louder, Jerome became faster. Your head was dug into the crook of his neck, your nails were dug into his shoulders leaving marks while you tried to adjust just fast pace and the pleasure.

"Oh God, Jerome!" You cried out loud while scratching his whole back down.

You felt his nails were dug deeper in your ass and his grunts made you shiver in pleasure with every thrust. And again he drilled his long hard member into you making sure he hit your g spot every time he entered your cunt.

He loved hearing you moan, you say he was addicted to it. You moans were giving him chills, aroused him. He couldn't get enough of it. If he could he would fuck you non stop, just to hear all these sweet moans of yours.

You moaned louder as he speeded up. You were hot and tight around him, you heard him swearing with a moan as he felt your walls clenchinh more on his member.

He groaned your name out quietly and you responded by rocking your hips up to give him all the pleasure he needed now.

You bit your lower lip nervously as a knot was built in your abdomen - you knew you were close. You moaned uncontrollably caused by all the pleasure which didn't even give you the chance to hold anything back - you really couldn't as hard as you tried to. You couldn't handle it all. It was too much for your body. You legs started to shake with each of Jerome's thrusts.

Gripping onto his back tighter, you buried your face in the crook of his neck to stifle your cry as you came all over him without any warning. He gasped lowly as you covered him in your tight and warm wetness. Your legs were twitching and your chest heaving. He thrust his hips several more times until he couldn't hold back any more, releasing into you. A soft moan escaped your lips upon the contact, you held him close and kept your head underneath his neck, breathing heavily with him.

"Didn't know you needed it that much right now." You said under gasps still trying to calm down from your high.

"Dont think I'm done with you, doll," Jerome grinned "I just wanted to let you breathe"

[aliceaddellheidde]

Fatum

A/N: This is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club  Lucky in love. March 6 - Dominance

WORDS: 1562

WARNINGS: swearing, death, violence

PAIRING: Bucky Barnes x reader (eventually) {Soulmates AU}

DISCLAIMERS: Endgame happened, but only Thanos and his peasants died. English isn´t my first language so sorry for mistakes.

Moi, Rai and Parca are genderless & are using they/their pronouns.

This is soulmates au. When you get tattoo, your soulmate gets it as well on same spot. It glows when you touch.

Bucky and reader have dominance fight on mission and everything goes wrong.

This is multi-chapters story. 4/19

Gif from here

Divider by @rainbowkisses31

Two weeks ago Steve sent Sam to monitoring Hydra facility in Nepal. It was unusual country for them and they were found by lucky accident by Stark´s satellite. Since then your team was preparing for big mission. Right now you were at gym, punching boxing bag after morning run with super soldiers and shooting with Natasha. Your body hurt and screamed for a break, but you were stubborn. Not even Bucky was able to stop you. After two hours of boxing you moved to gymnastics because you wanted to be both – strong and flexible. Steve found you hardly balancing on beam and took you to your room. You were hitting his back and murmuring something but once your head touched the pillow, you were sleeping.

Next day you asked Natasha and Clint to help you with your flexibility. They were great teachers. Although you were afraid for your neck and spine a little bit. They twisted you in all different positions and you swore that all your joints cracked. One thing was evil tho. Natasha tried to teach you how to fight like ballerina. But walking on your toes was impossible. You saw how Steve was watching her, his soulmate, in awe when he came to tell you the news.

„Sam said they are moving some freights from mountains to Military Barrack near the airport.  I´m afraid they already got Nepali army´s trust. Hopefully not and it´s the only place where they are operating. That's all for now.” He left and you went outside with Clint to train archery.

Team was ready at the end of the week. You were sitting in conference room next to Bucky, who wasn't in good mood lately. Steve walked in with Pepper and put map on interactive whiteboard. „Their positions are here, here and here.” he was showing red points on the map. Sam said they have mostly weapons, but he saw some barrels with chemicals probably. We interrogated people from last mission of Y/N and Bucky. They were talking about experiments on humans. That's why you will have best gas masks we have. Our mission is clear. Stop their transmissions, confiscate their tech, weapons, secure dangerous material, catch them and make sure everything is ready to be demolished. You will work in pairs. Nat and Clint, Wanda and Tony and Y/N and Bucky. We already identified few of soldiers of Hydra and Nepal. You have permission to shoot Hydra´s men but only disarm Nepali. We don’t want international conflict. You will use brand new contact lenses. They will tell you who is who and other stuff. Departure in ten minutes. Good luck.” He then took Nat in the corner of the room and wash whispering something to her.

You landed after 14 hours flight near Lamjung Kailas. „Gosh, I hate snow.” Bucky growled as he stepped out. You had extra layer of thermal clothes and you still shivered. You could see which way to go thanks to special lens in your eye. Bucky was few steps ahead. Snow creaked under your heavy boots, but apart from that, there was no other sound. Until you came near your destination. There were four soldiers, two of Hydra, two of Nepal. You shot Hydra, Bucky took down Nepali in hand-to-hand combat. You got in with their card and found yourself in huge tunnel. „You think they don’t know about us?” you whisper-asked Bucky. „They don’t or it´s a trap.” You nod as you both moved cautiously forward. 500 metres later you found another door with only one guard. Behind those door was real life threatening situation. Once you stepped into round hall, you were under firing from all directions. Thanks to Tony and his nano-tech suits they couldn’t hurt you. You proceeded onward, easily eliminating enemies, until they were all unable to harm you. „Sam, we are in. All clear for now.” He turned to you. „We should split up. Check whole Hell hole.” „It´s safer to stay together.” you argued. „Yes, but then it will takes longer. You saw Sam pics. This place is huge. And you would slow me down.” „Excuse me?!” „We need to focus on mission and you are too distracting.” „Geez, that's really nice way to say I sucks.” you rolled your eyes. „You on the right. I´m taking left. We are meeting here. Clear?” „Fuck you.”

You were walking for almost hour and only finished one floor. „Buck, I´m moving on next floor.” you whispered. As an answer you heard grunts, profanities and painful whining. You assumed he was fighting some guards and with raised gun stepped up on floor 2. It was darker and you had creepy feeling that someone or something was watching you. Your imagination was active on 100% and you got scared from your own shadow as shivers and cold sweat ran down your spine.

Just when you were about to open the door of room, voice spoke on your right side. „Rōka! Yahām̐ timī kē garirahēkō?” <Stop! What are you doing here?> You turned that way and saw Nepali soldiers with guns aimed at you. „Shit.” You ran to them and effectively disarmed them. But more came from the other side, so you had to run up the stairs. „Floor 3!” you screamed for Bucky and was almost hit by a bullet directed on your head. You shot Hydra agents, threw electric disks on Nepali and run the hell out of there.

You found yourself in room with computers and hid behind one of the desk. What you didn't know was that Parca had different idea. Behind you, silently as a mouse, woke up androids. Only when one of them caught you under neck and threw you on the other side of the room you realised another danger. Your back was hurting and head was spinning yet you managed to decapitate three of them and use electric disks on other two. Then you had to run away. But when you went back into corridor you were again under fire. „F.R.I.D.A.Y. mode Actiorione.” Two more arms appeared from your waist, ready to fight. You fired few missiles at the enemy and whole floor shook. „Floor four!” Bucky screamed in your ear and you wanted to use stairs but more soldiers were rushing up to you. „There are too many of them Buck. I´m trapped!” „Hold on, I´m coming.” You couldn’t answer because you were running in hope to find stairs or elevator. Although there was no way out of this. You took deep breath and threw grenade on your left and turned face to face with coming soldiers from your right. You bravely struck back their attack until none were threatening any more and ran away, when suddenly you were flying and your body collided with hard wall and then, after few meters fall, with floor.

„Y/N!” You heard Bucky´s voice but was unable to move. You saw him fighting with big monster. It looked like Hulk. You tried stand up but was shot by strong electric shock in your lower back. Your left elbow met something for sure because pain stopped and thud was heard next to you. With shaky body you aimed at Bucky's opponent and shoot it in the head. It made only small scratch. Worse was that now it was glaring at you. Floor shook as it landed in front of you and you built your shield. It was hitting non-stop and you felt yourself falling into unconsciousness. Your defence halted and seconds later huge fist met your weakened frame and sent you to the wall behind you. Last thing you saw was Bucky jumping from floor four with machete and stabbing it deep into monster´s back.

„What were you thinking?!” Rai were screaming at Parca and they were hiding behind the column. „I thought they will have some action together. Fighting crime together might help their relationship. Or not?” Parca looked at Moi for help but she was literally in flames. „I'm not talking to you until you make this right.” And with that they walked away. „I'm sorry. I didn't meant to hurt you or them.” Parca said and disappeared in silver mist. Rai went to calm Rai down before she would cause some bad decisions.

„Sam, I need help immediately!” Bucky shouted as he was holding his position next to you. „We are on the way. Are you still under attack?” „Yes. And Y/N is hurt badly. She needs a doctor. Hurry up.” He shot five soldiers and ten more appeared. He cursed and shot them as well. How many are there still? To his surprise only one came out and Bucky shot him too. He had few seconds to breath before androids encircled him. He held his machete and cut one of them in half. Thanks Wakanda.

„Need help?” Sam joked and cut two androids as he was landing. „Shut up. Where are the others?” „On the way. And Wanda is putting stuff in Quinjets. What happened here?” „We were outnumbered. And they had monster big as Hulk.” He pointed to dead body. „Whoa. What the fuck?” „Exactly. Take Y/N to safety. I´m  gonna fetch some junk from this Hell hole.” Sam nodded and Bucky went back to floor four. Laboratories.

You woke up for brief moment. There was beeping and then dark again.

[go--ask--alice]

Ephemeris

Four

14 Days.

336 Hours.

20,160 Minutes.

That is how long it's been since I've spoken to my Joker. I don't know what happened.. I still don't know what the fuck is going on. We were suppose to temporarily move into this god forsaken townhouse together yet here I sit alone. It has taken me that long just to gather my thoughts enough to even write them down.

That morning two weeks ago started so normal. I woke up to find myself alone in bed which honestly isn't that abnormal in itself, J sometimes doesn't sleep and gets his best work done in the middle of the night. I did my usual morning routine hoping he would make an appearance as I stood in the shower under the scalding hot water. He loves to surprise me and join in for some early morning shower sex after a long night of insomnia. I had it set in my mind to give him a bit of a show since he hadn't appeared yet. I put on a modest yet cheeky outfit and set off to his office hoping to interrupt a phone call and tease him as he tried not to acknowledge me. It's a game I love to play with him and gets the most amazing reactions from him. But as I reached the wing his office resided in there was nothing. No Frost at the door, no yelling at incompetent goons over the phone, not even the soft sound of classical music that sometimes floats through the halls when he's deep in his plans.

All of a sudden this massive mansion felt empty, I knew in my gut that he wasn't here. There had been a handful of red flags recently that something bad was brewing but honestly I just expected him to ask me to cut him again. It's something we started doing last year to release some of his darker demons and as far as I knew it had been working. I try to let him come to me with the request rather than pushing. His madness is part of what I love about him and such a key ingredient in what makes him The Joker and I never want to change that.

After I took a few moments to collect myself I called J, maybe there was a perfectly normal reason for his absence? Maybe I had forgotten about a meeting and he left without me? We are rarely apart, even for a few hours, but it does happen.

9:32am no answer

9:39am no answer

9:56am no answer, not even voicemail

This wasn't like J. He may be a psychotic crime boss but he is still always available for me. Worse case scenario my missed called are answered by a text from Frost letting me know what's going on and oh boy was he next on my call list!

......Five missed calls later and I still didn't have any answers. I was ready to burn this place to the ground if someone didn't give me some information.

Finally at around 11am I got a text from Frost.

[Ms Alice, please be ready to leave for the townhouse at 2:30 this afternoon. Boss will explain later.]

My blood boiled as I read the text. It was so generic, so cold. I knew he was only following orders but I felt so betrayed by Johnny. He has become my one confidant in this crazy world I now reside in. He is the only other person who knows what it's like to be in the presence of The Joker's madness and not be a target of it.

I had no choice but to follow along and continue with the plan. My bags were already packed and in the trunk of my new and still barely driven Lambo Aventador. Apparently I would be driving myself seeing as both J and Frost were MIA.

I didn't even want to leave at this point. I felt like a child who has lost their parent in the department store. "If I just stay put they'll have to come back and find me right??" I didn't want to leave just incase J showed back up and I could get an explanation straight from him.

I spent the remaining time going over every red flag I've seen since before our wedding, anything to clue me in to what might be going on. It had almost seemed like J was apprehensive to come back from England, we both knew he needed to return and take care of business in Gotham but England had become a kind of safe house where all the everyday problems could be put on hold and his stress levels really did begin to mellow out in the last few weeks of our stay. From the moment we hit the tarmac here at home there was a noticable shift, the tension in his jaw was back and the twitch under his eye reappeared more quickly than I had anticipated.

I have learned that he lives his life as a series of distractions. Some good some bad but all carefully crafted to distract from the demons in his mind. He immediately began planning our wedding, looking into new properties to acquire, and most amusingly he began building and collecting model cars. If I ever need a good laugh I just like to stop and picture Johnny Frost, lethal weapon, standing in line at the hobby store with a basket full of paints and parts to replace the ones J had broken the night before!

I also thought back to his increased drug use. The coke has always been more of a last resort than recreational to help calm him but recently I know he's started using alot more often. It's a big part of the reason he hasn't been sleeping. I honestly attributed his more erratic behavior to the drugs and insomnia but maybe they were just side effects of a bigger problem? No matter what is going on he is always kind and gentle to me, a courtesy he does not extend to any other living soul. I have seen a level of violence I never thought possible in his presence, it's something I have started to become almost jaded by, but I will never doubt the evil that resides inside that beautiful damaged man. He has also recently taken to personally dealing with some of the lower level thugs in his employ, a task that has always been delegated to Frost or one of the other higher ranking bodyguards. I assume mainly so he has a constant supply of fresh meat for his experiments or even just target practice. I tend to not ask a lot of questions when it comes to the more violent aspects of his empire. If he does not explicitly involve me then I simply do not ask questions.

When the time was right I went down to the garage doors, my last bag in hand and expected to see my car in it's customary spot next to the Benz but it wasn't there. At this point I wasn't sure I could take much more of this bullshit and just began to cry. All the worry and frustration from the day just hit me like a ton of bricks and I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted my husband, I wanted to be clued into whatever the fuck was happening, and goddamn it if I had to leave I just wanted to get in my own car and drive away. After a few moments I wiped my eyes and grabbed my things before heading out the side door towards the front of the building. As I turned the corner a laugh bubbled up from me that sounded foreign and cold. There she was, my beautiful Ghost, J had teased me for naming my car but it's something I have done with every other junk car I ever drove so something as exceptional as this car deserved it too! She was running, her engine humming a low purr and the driver side door was open. This was starting to get even stranger.. I felt like I was in a movie and people were watching from behind the camera lens. That's when I spotted the blacked sedan, it's engine was also running and as I approached Ghost they flashed the high beams at me. It didn't feel like a trap or anything nefarious so I climbed in and slammed the door. My frustrating hitting record levels. On the screen the GPS was already programed for the townhouse. Just as I was about to put her into drive a text popped up on my screen, it was Frost.

[At the rear, head to the destination. -F]

My anger bubbled to the surface and in one swift move I rolled the window down and raised my middle finger as I hit the gas. My sharp black nails and wedding rings glittered in the winter sun, my rear wheels kicking up gravel as I pulled out onto the public road, the blacked out car following closely behind. I knew it was Frost behind the wheel but I had a terrible feeling in my stomach that J was in the backseat. Why was he doing this to me? All morning I had been trying to think of what may be wrong with him, now my thoughts turned to myself. Had I done something to cause this? Did I make a mistake or cross some line I wasn't aware of? From the moment we met it seemed I could do no wrong in J's eyes. Had he finally gotten tired of me? Did he think getting married was a mistake? Was this his way of getting rid of me? All these questions continued to race through my head the entire drive.

The townhouse is approximately 30 minutes outside of downtown Gotham, close enough to still feel metropolitan but far enough out to give the illusion of privacy. J had showed me the floor plan weeks ago as we planned for our extended stay. The building is a four story brownstone with an enclosed garden accessible only from our unit's kitchen. There are three other units on the block, all of which are owned by J, most are empty except for the far end that was occupied but I have no idea who actually lives there or if it's just a front for something else.

As I turned onto the block I hesitated, realizing I had no idea where to park. I never planned on driving here alone so the thought never crossed my mind. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Frost's black sedan take the corner alittle too fast and barrel past me. The back passenger window was rolled down a few inches just furthering my suspicion that J is in there too. I said fuck it and park right infront of the unit and storm out of the car. I stalked up the brick stairs and planted my heels at the front door. I had no key so someone needed to get out the fucking car and talk to me.

[Stay there, I have the keys. -F]

My phone buzzes with another useless text message. I stifle a sigh of annoyance as I see the door open and a visibly uncomfortable Frost make his way towards me. I've never seen him look so unsure of himself? My nerves flaired up again and he hands me a set of keys and a sealed envelope. My name is written in J's messy script and my heart thunders in my chest. I implored Frost for any information he can give and all I got was a nervous chuckle and a sidewards glance towards his car which was still idling halfway down the block. Before turning away he tapped the envelope clutched in my hands. "This is bullshit Ms Alice. Give it time." I didn't even have a chance to ask before he turned and quickly returned to the car. No use waiting for him to pull away, I unlocked the large wooden door and shuffled inside. As soon and the door clicked shut behind me I sunk to my knees and began to cry. All the tears I'd been saving up since this morning came pouring out, I let my emotions flow for several minutes until I saw J's letter discarded on the floor infront me. I took a moment to trace my name written in my loves scratchy script, almost as bad a doctor's, before tearing it open. Inside I found a short note. It was written in deep purple ink so I know it came from the stationary in his office at home.

"Darling, I need to be away for a while to deal with {multiple words scratched out} some sticky fingers at The Smile and Grin. {scribbles} I gave Frost the week off and now I need to handle some of the staff myself because someone’s dipping into my bourbon stash and I need to figure out who."

The whole thing was sloppy and disjointed, it looked rushed and made literally no sense at all. This was all so ridiculous.. The Joker is not a coward yet he couldn't come to me, his wife, and explain what ever the fuck was going on. I crumpled the letter and threw it across the room.

So here I am. It has been two weeks and still nothing. Thank God we had already hired a small staff for this place or I would be screwed.

This is all fucking worthless. When that clown finally shows his face back up here I'll give him a reason for that goddamn metal grill he's got.

-Alice