talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

I Am Not Okay

I just had the most emotional breakdown of my life and I have never been so vulnerable in my life. I feel like i have nothing to live for, that i have no purpose or no reason to keep pushing on. I’m not sure why I am still here to be quite honest with you. I try everyday and I continue to try every single day but it seems the more I try, every step I take forward I get pushed 10 steps back. I am in no way emotionally stable for school tomorrow but Today I talked with the therapist and missed my math class because we talked for so long. I feel like I am drowning. 

I feel like I’m in room and the walls are closing in, I keep asking myself the same question over and over and over and over again 

                      “Is this really what you wanna do?”

I for some odd reason can never search through myself to find the answer to that question and it bothers me. I know I want to be successfull but I live in a world, a town, a family, where the word success quite literally means the opposite of what I have in mind. I don’t understand the stereotype that you need to go to college to be successful. I know plenty of people more successful than people who have went to college. 

I literally have cried all night and my boyfriend isn’t helping at all. He brushes it off saying I am overreacting the situation but I feel this in my gut that I am not where I should be and I feel like I know exactly where I should be but because everyone is pushing I should stand still over me that view of knowing where I should be is getting very dim.

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

“make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”

— Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild (via coral)

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

“I’m a slave to my emotions, to my likes, to my hatred of boredom, to most of my desires.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

via @the-book-diaries

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

All I feel right now

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

like!!!!

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

via @extramadness

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

by ALDO CHAPARRO

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

“In the end, the most interesting people always leave.” - Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

via @the-book-diaries

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

“I loved you. I was a pentapod monster, but I loved you. I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais!” - Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

via @quotespile

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

What Is The Secret To Surviving?

As my first semester of college is winding down I am slowly beginning to see how much of a mistake I made not school wise, but generally life wise. I have this bright image in my head of who I wanna be and where I wanted to be by the age of Twenty years old. And I am more than far from it, I am actually not even close. 

I remember hearing this quote once it said: “ If 6 year old you could see you would she be proud?” I find myself asking myself this more often than most because Would 6 year old me be proud of who I am today? Would 6 year old me love the women I am today or the women I am becoming? It's an on-going question I continue to ask myself because...

 I am not proud of me. 

I have everything anyone could ever want. a good family, a car, good grades, a great college, & yet I am still not content? It just puzzles me as to what it takes to be content or happy? How does one find peace if all they ever feel is emptiness? 

I feel like life now is more about just surviving rather than being happy. I see so many people unhappy but claim they’re content, I see so many people happy but claim they’re not content.

It’s no longer about being happy or content it’s about surviving

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

So...

So I just skipped my math class because I didn't wanna math today. And I am slowly regretting it.

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

I'm so sorry. ( I'm not sorry )

I just rebloggee a lot of Noah Centineo stuff I'm sorry but I'm not sorry

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]

Noah Centineo: No wonder I’m still single.

LITERALLY EVERYONE:

[talesofthestrugglingstudent-blog]