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i still have the knife in my throat

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trans people are asking you whether you value our lives more than the life of a fictional eleven year old and you're stuttering and trying to claim nuance?

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therapist listened to me try to explain something for five minutes and then gently asked "so you want to move on?" and like. yeah. yeah I just want to move on. please help me move on. I'm tired of being twelve

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I just wanted to be happy, but I grew up in a house full of darkness. And to this day, those memories still torment me. Sometimes when I'm not feeling well, I'm 13 years old again and wonder what I did to deserve this. I see my fist hitting the wall of my room, trying to break my hand. I want something other than my soul to break, I want something else to bleed. I see myself crying. I hear myself screaming. I am alone. Alone. With the things I am not allowed to talk to anyone about.

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I hope you know that it’s always this

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starved for intimacy to the point of neuroticism that drives away any opportunity for intimacy <///3

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Rainer Maria Rilke, from a letter to Lou von Salomé written c. June 1912

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did you hold me wrong when they first placed me into your arms? did something in me break or never form because of that? can we try again? will you hold me, though I'm too big for your arms? will it be right this time? will you keep me safe? am I good enough now?

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Me when I turn up to the grave of the guy I got killed to comfortingly and helpfully tell him to be patient because soon I will kill the guy he died to protect

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unfortunately I fear I don't fit in with puppy coded people, for I am more abused dog coded. I'm bigger and meaner and my bite isn't playful. I want the cage and the collar and the leash and I want it all to hurt, but please be gentle with me, I've never been touched by someone who doesn't mean to hurt me

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god i want attention and i want to see blood

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I think it's going to be okay. I'm not sure it ever will be, though

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i would’ve left the whole world behind for you.

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someday i’m gonna be somebody people want

jennifer s cheng so we must meet apart // winter nocturne with lonely road // mahmoud darwish in the presence of absence // unknown // james frey a million little pieces