thatonelizardguy

[thatonelizardguy]

You ever just like, wo

[thatonelizardguy]

If I could go back to the childhood whimsy I had back when I believed Santa was real that would be amazing. Cause now every year my mom makes a big deal of saying that he isn't real and also gives us gifts addressed from Satan (which I don't mind the first thing too much, the second one is kinda not cool) and it just makes me sad.

[thatonelizardguy]

I love seeing power outlets in uncharacteristic places. We need to have more of that I reckon.

[thatonelizardguy]

Me like 3 months ago: Ah yes I love not having a caffeine addiction like my mom or dad.

Me now, having like 2-3 monsters a day: augughfqu fchf j fwjfwgu I need me silly juicemrwjfwcuwcu

[thatonelizardguy]

if your first time rooming in college doesn't result in you and your roommates having some weird effigy you just put stuff on top of then you haven't gotten the college experience

[thatonelizardguy]

I have the utmost respect for people that put a lot of effort into their outfits.

The most effort I put into my outfit is matching my jeans with a jean jacket.

And even then I'm like "woah calm down there buster why you dressing like you're going to Broadway"

[thatonelizardguy]

I am way too terminally online to be Amish, but not in the way of "omg I can't go a day without my cellphone" but in the way of "I accidentally said you gyatt to be kidding me to some guy and he just drove his horse and carriage into a river"

[thatonelizardguy]

I like the concept of five nights at Freddy's, and for the right amount of money i would do it. What puts me off is having to work a night shift and the only thing I have is a fucking camera system (which just shows the creepy fuckers)

[thatonelizardguy]

When a new mobile game drops it's fun to mess with people. I was one of the first in, hit rank 11 (peak rank 5), made the best guild in the game with everyone in the guild being in the top 50, then I just left. I basically became a god to these people then disappeared, just because I have no time to play the game seriously.

[thatonelizardguy]

I have no clue which monsters are good and which are bad my brain is just like "mmmm yummy"

[thatonelizardguy]

I'd like to wish every teacher who doesn't let students leave class during a test until 30 minutes has passed even though I was done like 10 minutes in cause it was really fucking easy a very why do you hate me :((

[thatonelizardguy]

I've pretty much given up on twitter cause that place sucks so bad sooo

Does anyone play Pokemon go here? Like at all. If you do you're very cool and I also play Pokemon go and I like Pokemon go and I want to meet more cool people that play Pokemon go cause a solid amount of the community is homophobic and that's not cool.

[thatonelizardguy]

Halloween is now over! That means that some poor town in Britain or wherever is gonna be receiving all of the pumpkins we no longer have a use for. Send them your best wishes in these trying times.

[thatonelizardguy]

There should be more music recorded in unnatural locations. Record some songs in a Wendy's bathroom, do an album on the New York Subway, fuck it do a song at an IKEA until they kick you out.

[thatonelizardguy]

Man if I was a gaming developer I would make so many dumb and stupid Easter eggs that have no impact on the game but make the games cinematic universe so messed up. Go to the one building and knock on one specific door and whapam it's Ronald Reagan and the Kool Aid man and they're having a discussion about the economy. My games cinematic universe would include every franchise ever and would influence every world event ever.

[thatonelizardguy]

I'd like to reach the point of oldness one day where I can sit down, look at a heathcliff comic, and find it unironically funny.

[thatonelizardguy]

Y'know I understand now why middle aged white dudes love bowling so much. The feeling of just rolling a ball into shit is so much fun. More shit falls then that's even better and you get more points for it. Throw the ball however you want and no one cares cause all that matters is the ball hitting shit. Friend misses the shit at the end well you can laugh with him. You miss the shit at the end still all fun and games. You get to drink, eat nachos, wear funny looking shoes, and hurl a ball at shit. I can't think of anything better.