thatoneplaguedoctor

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Riddler should be a woman actually

I could literally make an entire power point presentation about why this makes sense, but stay with me. Here are some of the main points.

1. SOCIAL COMMENTARY—-

The sheer amount of potential to play with is how Riddler got into being a criminal in the first place: because he’s smart, right? And he went through life undervalued and abused in spite of that? (A lot of crossover with Penguin and Scarecrow for his origins tbh)

Now let’s recontextualize that if Riddler is a woman.

Then she would represent a massive amount of women in stem/“brainy” fields that get passed up because they don’t dress sexy or sleep their way to the top. Now, her having an abusive father feels especially heinous and the idea she dresses scruffy normally but wears makeup and a dress as Riddler shows that she thinks she’s actually allowed to be feminine if she’s a criminal. It’s… actually really tragic the more you think about it. And of course, she feels practically “invisible” as Enid Nigma instead of the attentive, sharp, and respected Riddler. Like… the really sad part is that she DOES get more respect and value as the Riddler instead of “a normal citizen” because she’s actually feared and respected as the “Greatest Criminal Mastermind Since Frank Abignale” (yeah the ego doesn’t go away sorry)

2. Riddler has always been weirdly feminine.

And no, this is before DC and Fanon made him officially bisexual. It’s similar to the fact that Penguin was introduced with a CIGARETTE HOLDER when that was a feminine accessory. Like… I want you to THINK about any straight male characters that use a cigarette holder that aren’t Penguin. You can’t do it.

Riddler is sort of a similar case, especially since he’s the most flamboyant outside of Joker and Two-Face. And he thinks like a woman weirdly?! Like a neurodivergent woman. And before you go pointing fingers like “Queer erasure,” she’s still bisexual and LOOK AT THE OTHER BATMAN VILLAINS PENGUIN IS THE ONLY TRUE STRAIGHT ONE I SWEAR—-

3. It would be an insane twist.

And not like “The RidDlEr’S a WoMaN?! 🤪” or anything like that, but the fact she used people’s IMPLIED SEXISM so that never occurs to them ON PURPOSE. You know “the doctor is the boy’s mother” riddle? Yeah. That Also she and Batman still have their typical fun banter with a “You wouldn’t hit a woman with glasses would you?” and “I’m an equal opportunity crime fighter” thrown in as well. So while never outright flirtatious, it’s still a fun “You are OPPRESSING me” “You are literally a criminal.”

4. Both a critique and actual analysis of different phases of feminism.

The truth is?! She’s sort of a pick-me. Like… she’s second wave feminism where Ivy is in the sixth or something. Also. This woman would absolutely be a terf. I’m sorry. It just makes too much sense. Autism tends to add to black-and-white thinking, so like… yeah. Luckily it (almost) never comes up because she knows when to keep her mouth shut! But yeah. She just doesn’t get it especially with her understanding of biology.

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Batman Headcanons That Should—- JUST be Canon PT. 3

I have woken up today and have chosen to bring you some more cursed knowledge.

Ra’s Al Ghul Was Gregori Rasputin.

This one is just… so funny to me. The concept Ra’s threw on a scruffy beard and rizzed up the ladies in Russia is just—- Loki being D. B. Cooper levels of cracked. The funniest part is that their names are eerily similar like Ra’s didn’t even try. 😭

This also explains how he was notoriously difficult to kill for all those executions AND IT DIDN’T MATTER ANYWAY because he just pulled the Lazarus Pit card. Please DC make this canon I BEG YOU.

The Mad Hatter Has a Completely Broken Concept of Reality.

It’s more than just equating people in his life to Alice in Wonderland characters. This man… basically never matured past seven or eight. He has no concept of sex, or death, or sickness, or money. He can only have those terms explained to him in his child-like Wonderland terms and even then he doesn’t completely grasp it.

For instance, he’ll kill people to “paint the roses red” because he compulsively freaks out when he sees white roses and sees blood as a form of paint. However, he doesn’t have a concept of death, so he’ll just try to get the blood to paint them regardless if he kills them or not. He… has a tendency of making tea out of cannabis leaves, killing animals and wearing them as hats, using animals to play croquet, kidnapping little girls named Alice JUST to have tea with them, etc.

Like… if the Joker pretend to be insane when he actually has a form of supersanity, then the Mad Hatter is ACTUALLY insane. Like you look at this guy and think “Yeah he’s actually mentally ill and should get the necessary help he is so divorced from reality.” (P.S. He also has a bit of a Michael Jackson situation where because he thinks and acts like a child people assume he’s a pedo when he’s not. Oh. And he has no concept of that either, and NO ONE wants to explain it to him, so he stumbles through life very confused as to why women keep slapping him and parents keep yelling at him.)

Killer Moth Sucks At Being Evil.

Okay, so you know the Megamind/Doofenshmirtz thing of trying so hard to be evil but accidentally doing good things and actually being kind of a decent person?! This is the funniest idea I have for Killer Moth.

Like—- he’ll shoot an old lady in the brain only for it to turn out he blasted her tumor out and kept her cancer from spreading, or he’ll kidnap children only to inadvertently expose a human trafficking ring, or he’ll send funds to “evil corporations that burn down the planet” only for him to accidentally fund housing for the homeless.

Like—- this guy TRIES so hard to be evil, but he objectively sucks at it and is in such denial about it, villains tell him he’s a decent guy, heroes thank him for covering them, and criminals with families thank him, and he HATES it. This is such a great twist of “Loser Villain” and him being DC’s Doofenshmirtz is… so compelling, and I want them to play into that and even give him an arc where he comes to terms with it.

Killer Croc is A Sweetheart.

Basically, he eats people not because he wants to, but that’s literally the only way he can eat. He lives in the sewers to stay away from people, but sometimes people stumble down there, and he gets so hungry he eats them anyway, and then has a good cry about it. Day in and Day out, and then a mean man dressed as a bat punches him in the snout for eating people, and so he gets angry and leaves the sewer.

This man has not done anything wrong ever, in his entire life. All the media that depicts him as a cryptid in Gotham’s sewers is just that, media and blown-up fabrications. He is adamant that “I only ate a little bit of Crane! I swear!” and despite his lack of education, he REALLY knows his sewers. Like, if you need help with that, he sort of turns into a “come with me if you want to live” badass.

Man-Bat is Triggered By Adrenaline.

I have no idea if this is common consensus? A lot of adaptations just have him act like the Lizard from Spiderman where he drinks some juice and then he’s a bat mutant, but I like this one a lot more. It’s sort of like the Hulk’s anger thing, but a lot more haphazard. If he’s startled, too ecstatic, or too stressed, his skeleton and body starts mutating. And unfortunately, being stressed is a part of Kirk basically existing! Oh. This also means Fear Toxin and/or Venom also immediately triggers it.

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

A stupid character design Mandela Effect thing I struggle with is that Riddler does NOT wear aviator-style glasses?!? WTH?!? I FEEL LIKE I’M TAKING CRAZY PILLS OVER HERE I SEE AVIATOR GLASSES AND I THINK “RIDDLER” WHEN EDDY DOESN’T WEAR THEM—-

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Giving Marvel Heroes Batman Villains.

Just what it sounds on the Docket. I pick a street-level Marvel Hero and give them two Batman villains that would be in their roster realistically. If you’re wondering why Joker is not on the list? Man is OBSESSED with Batman and makes it his entire personality why tf would he care about some Marvel Joe Shmoe if it’s not Batman.

Spider-Man: Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy

This one is mostly because a) they would match him power-level wise while b) still have interesting character interactions with him.

I have *always* wanted Peter to fight a cold-based villain and see how he would adapt to that, especially since the cold would slow his movements and spider-sense and shatter his webs. I can see him legitimately having trouble with Freeze’s power set, adapting and making equipment to deal with him, and then legitimately try to help him find the cure to his wife bc he’s a nice science guy like that. Like—- Freeze *feels* like he would work in the regular Spidey Rogues Line-up.

Poison Ivy is both because her plant powerset would also be interesting for Peter to manage, as well as her pheromones (and his weakness for redheads cough) like—- it would be cool if she pretended to be MJ or something just to mess with him. And of course, they would have fascinating philosophical arguments about what Ivy is doing. Also SPIDEY HAS A CRIMINAL LACK OF FEMALE VILLAINS AND I WISH TO RECTIFY THIS.

Moon Knight: Ra’s Al Ghul and Hugo Strange.

I know these sound like weird choices on paper—- but you have to really think about this.

Ra’s is sort of bundled with Talia here, as the League of Shadows would make sense as a threat for Marc/Steven/Jake to deal with. Ra’s especially would be like “three heirs for the price of one!” And believe his DID a manifestation of alternate perspectives and hence, wisdom. Of course. Marc/Steven/Jake are not consenting to this, so this is a whole thing.

Hugo Strange is not so much the crazy doctor himself—- BUT THE ENTIRE CORRUPT SYSTEM OF ARKHAM ASYLUM. Marc/Steven/Jake would get committed there, and have to get out and face this man whose entire deal is just breaking them down without picking up the pieces. The last thing they need is to be psychoanalyzed, so it would be great for them to call out the institution itself and show Hugo’s hypocrisy.

Punisher: Penguin and Riddler

What sort of villains do you give to a guy who just kills? Villains you can’t simply *just* kill. Frank having threats he can’t just shoot through would be fascinating.

Penguin would be similar to Kingpin in a lot of ways, but the main difference is that he’s not the one fully in control of his position—- if you cut off the head of the snake, you only invite the wrath of dragons. Killing Oswald would actually lead to crime getting WORSE in its own chaos, so Frank relies on him organizing the crime so he can take things down more systematically. Oswald is sort of a “necessary parasite,” an evil that exists because it keeps from worse evils taking a foothold. Frank is smart enough to know he can’t just kill him, so he has to find other ways to bring him to justice (“You mean like that pussy RED?!” “Yes.”)

Riddler is a bit different—- Frank having to use his brain and refrain from just—- shooting the puzzles (which he does anyway and drives Eddy up a WALL) can lead to both hilarious anticlimaxes and legitimate tension. He will also purposely answer with stupid answers (“What gets wetter the more it dries?” “YOUR MOTHER” “FRANK”)

Frank also will have to grapple with his own black-and-white thinking with these two, as Riddler also has a twisted idea of “justice” and Penguin thrives on the messy grey and his character is all about sacrificing his soul for survival. Frank having to grapple that he’s just as f&@ked as these two would be fascinating.

Wolverine: Bane and Deathstroke

SHUTTUP I KNOW HE’S TECHNICALLY NOT STREET LEVEL GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF. I picked these two for… wildly different reasons.

Firstly—- Bane and Logan is interesting because they would have a pretty respectful rivalry, with Bane sort of being endeared by Logan and Logan just—- still thinking he sucks but is a much more tolerable alternative to Sabertooth. Bane would sort of obsess over the fact that Logan is “the one man I cannot break” and wants to see if there are ways to “break” Logan to—- comical levels (like throwing him into a volcano, squeezing his wrist to force him to extend his claws and ram them into his own head and then just… holding it there, ripping off limbs, etc…) meanwhile Logan is just a feral little gremlin and Bane’s reaction is “Look at Él Glotón Pequeño! It hates me so much 🥰” Like. A Tom and Jerry ahh relationship.

Deathstroke LIVES for the game of getting under people’s skin and would see Logan as a wildly entertaining rage-fest. Like—- this man is a professional hater for the love of the game. And if Logan ever finds out about Terra? He is going to EVISCERATE this man.

Daredevil: Two-Face and Scarecrow.

The last one because it’s literally the entire reason I made this post. It’s no contest. I’d pick these two in a heartbeat for Matt.

Firstly, Two-Face is the perfect foil for Matt. It baffles me that they are from two different comic companies. I have literally dedicated my entire blog to the crackship of these two BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE AND I HATE IT. Two-Face simultaneously affirms why Matt’s belief in redemption is so important and is a manifestation of Matt’s self-destructive behavior for the sake of others. They wouldn’t even outright hate each other I think, they have a pretty close relationship between Harvey and Matt while Two-Face goes full Yandere/stalker for Matt. They wouldn’t even outright have such a multi-faceted relationship it’s not even funny.

Scarecrow and Matt would have a rivalry that would put Sabertooth and Logan to shame. You know that run where Mysterio almost breaks Matt’s moral compass? Imagine that… but worse. These two would have beef on the spot—- the Master of Fear and the Man Without Fear, a Protestant and a Catholic, both of these guys don’t kill, but one does so because he believes in the sanctity of human life… and the other doesn’t because he believes life is hell, and the truly unmerciful option. I think they would hate each other, with Scarecrow wailing on this poor blind man with more willpower than a Green Lantern, only for them to both just get… tired. Matt concludes that he doesn’t hate Crane. He doesn’t know why, but he forgives him, because hating him is just… exhausting. He also actually listens to Crane’s philosophy, even agreeing with him in some cases, but also not leaving him exempt from his actions and the people he hurt. These two would just be… so compelling. Especially since Crane would probably be closer to what Matt could be than Frank is.

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Batman Villain Headcanons that should—- Just be Canon Pt. 2: Gotham Sirens

Here’s some Hcs for the GURLSSSS!!!

Poison Ivy is Carnivorous

DC SUPERHERO GIRLS of all things is the first iteration to confirm this! I love it because 1) it’s a wonderful subversion of expectations and 2) she surrounds herself with carnivorous plants and she’s part plant so HELLO?!

The idea that she values plant life over and above human/animal life as a bio-terrorist is consistent with the character and this is a great way to show it. She hates vegans—- Heck, go far enough and straight up make her a cannibal DO IT DC I F$@KING DARE YOU. SHE ALREADY SA S PEOPLE THIS IS STILL ON THE TABLE—-

Nobody Actually Hates Catwoman.

I don’t have a lot of headcanons for her since she’s pretty thoroughly explained as a character, but this is one I hold dearly. She’s the wine aunt/older sister of both vigilantes and other criminals, and when she betrays you/pulls out the rug everyone just shrugs their shoulders like “That’s Selina for you” and moves on. Like—- NO ONE holds a single grudge against her because there’s just no point.

I like the idea that weirdly since she’s the “least trustworthy” of the Rogues it also makes her the most because it’s never personal when she betrays you and is canonically the best secret keeper in Gotham. The girls love her, the guys love her, you can get annoyed with her antics, but gosh darn it all, she’s consistent and reliable with how she operates.

Harley Quinn Relapses HARD.

This one’s interesting—- basically, every single time we think, and SHE thinks she’s over the Joker, or moved on to someone else, she always ends up back with him for some reason or another.

She has attachment issues in general with BOTH her friendships as well as romantic relationships… and as terrible as the Joker is, he’s the only one who can dismiss her turn-offs, annoying habits, and quirks (as well as her entirely but in her point of view that’s attractive). Sometimes, the people she dates outside of Joker turn out to be EVEN WORSE because she’s blind to the red flags. So she goes back to Joker, even if he’s terrible, because at least she KNOWS HOW to manage it. She is… also the type of woman to take a vague act of kindness and interpret it as “this person loves me” when like… honey that’s not always the case… So there are a lot of people she gets overly attached to just because they treat her like a human being. Yes, this even applies to Joker in some capacity.

Talia Becomes Catholic Just To Spite Her Father.

This one’s hilarious—- so you know how you have ultra-strict conservative religious households?! Well imagine that, but with demon worshipping. Basically, Ra’s is really harsh with what his daughter does to make it as hedonistic as possible.

So when Talia waltzes up to him like “Dad I’m going to CHURCH and wearing MODEST clothes and I’m in a MONOGAMOUS relationship and I’M NOT HAVING SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE” He gets an aneurysm like “Where is the demon-worshipping daughter I raised?!?”

This is such a great subversion of the typical controlling parent trope and you know. Actually gives Talia a character—- WOAH WHO SAID THAT—-

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Batman villain Headcanons that should—- JUST be canon—

These are little headcanons I’ve picked up for my versions of Batman villains that I feel should… just be picked up for an actual adaptation. Most of these already basically feel canon.

Riddler Can’t Willfully Lie.

This one’s interesting—- its origins can be traced to Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, but there’s more to it than that. Stop and think about it—- a guy who deals in riddles, which is just a more complicated version of the truth, can’t tell an actual lie, so the riddles are a work around. Doesn’t this make a lot of sense?!

He probably got it from his abusive father really getting upset whenever he lied, so he told the truth through riddles and his dad would just be so confused he would drop it. This also means the Lasso of Truth doesn’t work on Riddler which feels… so canon.

The Penguin Fakes His Limp.

I liked it in the ‘04 show where Penguin was a really competent fighter, and I just really think it adds to the motif of him being underestimated and exploiting that manifests here.

I think he’s secretly one of the most competent sword fighters in the DC universe—- Slade obviously counters him… but barely. He has the Uncle Iroh thing of using his body weight to mask actual muscle.

As for the leg, the limp *was* real, but he got physical therapy to where he can move it decently freely. It is a weakness of his still, where it twinges with pain at inopportune times, or the brace chafes.

Mr. Freeze Can Survive In Outer Space.

This one is admittedly very weird. But I always imagined his suit working like an inverse space suit? So instead of keeping the vacuum outside from collapsing the air within, it protects him from the air outside with a vacuum. Most of his vitals are frozen… so theoretically he can hold his breath and survive up to three minutes in space like he’s underwater.

Also the fact his suit is a vacuum contributes to the fact that the suit doesn’t so much protect him from the outside world… as it protects the outside world from him. Basically, if he pops off his helmet, it creates an icy vacuum.

Two-Face Has Minor Mutations On His “Bad Side.”

Okay, so this heavily depends on adaptation and ESPECIALLY on how he is scarred, this is more of a fun headcanon for the “ambiguous comic ooze” that gets launched in his face or he gets dunked in. I like the idea that if half of his body is basically like raw chicken perpetually, then the acid gave him some minor mutations. Sort of like an actual superpower? But small and very much only on half of his body. His normal half is still normal.

The mutations include: discoloration, constant leaking ambiguous green fluid, irritation, minor aches, basically being rotten flesh, and… regenerative properties.

Yeah. His bad side is basically like Deadpool’s situation. Literally rotten flesh that heals itself anyway. With that said, he still ages normally and can still die because of his normal side.

Joker Has Amnesia.

Please please please PLEASE someone incorporate this into an actual Batman story. It could be super compelling. It completely recontextualizes the whole “I prefer my backstory to be multiple choice” thing, and makes it so that all of his past identities in various adaptations are literally just potential pasts he imagines for himself. Play with the absurd tragedy of this—- being forced to be a monster, but constantly grappling with random memories that may or may not actually be real.

Like he’ll snap from “I had a dog once.” To “WOW DOGS ARE STUPID LOL KICKING THIS PUPPY IS FUN!!” Just because he hates grappling with the fact he has parts of the human he was before Joker… but never the full picture. It changes Joker’s actions and existence from being horrific to his situation be horrific. Memories and ideas of a past he’ll never have, a human he never was… because the Joker is all that’s left. It doesn’t take away from the evil of the character, but makes him SO much more tragic.

Scarecrow is Protestant/Baptist.

This one may be controversial considering most people just want to slap “religious trauma lol because religion sucks” on him and call it a day, but realistically, a man who fixates on fear and is from the south probably has some sort of interesting relationship to the “Fear of God” thing. It’s not quite religious fanaticism like Deacon Blackfire or Azrael, it’s more of just a side thing that’s there and contributes to his other character motivations (Sort of like Daredevil’s Catholicism.)

His worldview is probably that he thinks himself soulless, and hence, unable to be saved, and sees himself more as the storm that separates who built their houses on rock and who built their houses on sand. He sees fear as a tool to know ourselves better, and if we refuse to confront our fears, we are lesser for it. He also believes people don’t fear God enough, because God is *beyond* the unknown in his eyes.

Basically, he has the damned man philosophy of “If I am destined to hell, then let others step to heaven on my burning, depraved corpse.” He also loves to make points about how demons make themselves pretty to deceive humans and how angels are terrifying because they have nothing to hide, and they are truth incarnate. He believes fear leads to the truths we do not want to hear, and God is truth, so fear leads to God… or damnation for the unwise.

Bane is Multilingual.

Not just bilingual. Multilingual. This man grew up in a Latin American prison, with inmates from all over the globe. He doesn’t just speak English y Español. This man should speak Italian, Portuguese, and French at the bare minimum. Those languages specifically would make sense for him to learn/know, considering the region of Central and Southern America. So while English and Spanish are his home languages, he should be able to slip into these languages almost just as easily. He probably knows how to read Russian? Even if he does not know how to speak it. Also considering he grew up in an all-male prison he is either gay or literally cannot comprehend the existence of a woman. Either one is equally compelling. Both is even better.

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Titles for Batman Villains:

So you know how Supervillains and Suprerheroes will typically have alternative titles outside of their villain/hero names? In the context of Batman villains, you have “The Man Who Broke The Bat” for Bane, “The Master of Fear” for Scarecrow, “Clown Prince of Crime” for Joker, Ridder has like—- five different titles, Hell, even Penguin is known as “The Gentleman of Crime.”

But there are several other Batman villains who don’t have titles, so I have a couple of proposals for the major ones.

Two-Face: “The Black Iscariot”

I thought of this like, specifically for my version, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. The usage of “Black” is a contrast to his “White” Knight of Gotham title back when he was DA, and for my iteration it is a reference to his skin color. Also some “black-heart” references.

The Judas parallel is so obvious I’m shocked more Batman adaptations haven’t incorporated it. Judas sells out Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, meanwhile Dent sold out his city for only one silver coin. Like—- mega oof. Also, he went as the main crusader against Gotham’s corruption through using the legal system to one of its top crime lords in the span of several months. Yeah. The city is going to feel pretty betrayed. While Two-Face comes from the idea of “well I guess he was a hypocrite after all,” “The Black Iscariot” represents the more visceral anger and betrayal towards his actions and forsaking his beliefs.

Mr. Freeze: “The Cold Death”

I have a fun idea for how he canonically got this: I am like— 98% sure this man has tried wrapping Gotham in eternal winter so his wife can walk outside or something like that. And as sad and tragic his story is, realistically if you met this guy he would—- straight up actually just kill you. And in pretty brutal ways by like, freezing your head and smashing it against a wall or something.

I feel like Victor should have a reputation almost on par with Darth Vader in Gotham. His title may be a little basic, but it’s simple, and straight to the point about his reputation. And you know, titles exist to reflect reputation and tell you about what a character is/does outside of their name.

Poison Ivy: “The Demented Demeter”

I’m sorry, am I crazy?! Or does this go hard?! Obviously this is a reference to the Greek Goddess of nature that goes through… insane levels to get what she wants. And like. Ivy does rape people. Don’t “it was technically consensual” me, she has a habit of drugging and sleeping with men and like—- that’s pretty demented. And don’t pull the whole “it’s okay because she’s hot” and “they wanted it anyway” because I would NOT trust my drink around this woman. And this is a major part of her character. Sorry! It’s almost like these are VILLAINS and TERRIBLE PEOPLE—-

Harley Quinn: “The Clown Queen of Crime”

I was considering Princess to match Joker, but this just sounds snappier, is alliterative, and easier to say, because syllables matter in the world of journalism. Oh. And Joker is NOT happy about this. At all. But he can’t buy out every paper in Gotham to change it, so the name stuck, and that’s her title. Sometimes she’s called “The Queen of Hearts” because most people don’t really hate her, and she’s so charming she typically gains the sympathy of people she steals from.

Comment on your other ideas for titles for title-less comic characters and repost!

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

“No. It doesn’t…”

He gets really quiet.

“I’m not… here out of… pity. Or anything. Pity’s not… productive? It doesn’t mean anything, sometimes it just means people don’t… really care so they have to resort to ‘common humanity’ or something stupid… Harvey… I’m just here… for you, I guess.”

He swallows hard.

“Maybe I… didn’t really know you? Maybe. But… I saw parts… and I think… some of it was. It must’ve been. And… your heartbeat’s still the same, so make of that what you will…”

He takes a deep breath.

“The you I remember… was someone who really cared about justice… about what was fair… you wanted… balance? In such an unstable world… and you weren’t perfect, but there was a lot of good with the bad, and you’re not all good or all bad, you’re both. You’re a person. And I don’t think people could handle that… this system… is broken. I try to play to it, make it work, but it’s not enough, it’s never enough—- the system’s broken, because people are broken and… it’s not fair. It’s not fair, right? I get acid thrown in my face as a boy, I lose my sight, and find a way to move on, but you get acid thrown in your face at the prime of your life, you lose—- everything, and you’re… stuck. It’s not… fair. Is it. And… I understand… if you resent me for that. Because… life’s not fair… and it’s just… people get… hurt from that.”

Hey. It’s me. Matt. It’s been… a while. Um. I was going to visit after… but I didn’t because I was scared and I thought you didn’t need me—- shoot, let me start over.

This is Matthew Murdock. We roomed together? From undergrad school? I was the crazy blind guy?

*He takes a deep breath.*

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t visit. I am such a terrible person. I know I’m all the way in New York, but that’s not an excuse, crap, none of these… I have no excuses.

I’m just sorry that I wasn’t there.

And I can’t fix you. I know that. That’s stupid—- so many people have tried “fixing” you, I don’t think that’s the way to help—-

I just wanted to let you know… that I’m here I guess.

When someone has acid thrown into their face, they tend to remember it, viscerally. Harvey does. He thinks about it every single day. He remembered hanging on by a thread, living one single breath at a time - and maybe, for a fleeting moment, he thought about that blind kid. He couldn't imagine what this kind of pain would be like for someone much younger than he was. Someone who - hadn't done anything.

No, that wasn't right. It wasn't Harvey's fault. He had to stop thinking that way.

Maybe he should have started up his own damn law firm and taken his own damn cases as he pleased. Alas, Mr. Dent had to be District Attorney. He had to be the Prosecutor. He was suited for it in every way, molding his love for Gotham and his resentment into something righteous. Not entirely perfect, but sincere nonetheless.

Bad things happen to good people.

Harvey didn't feel like good people.

Matt was good people.

Harvey knew it when they were younger, too. He'd felt out of place out of state, but he'd gotten along with Matt almost instantly. He felt balanced.

Being away from Dad had helped tremendously, too. Being away from Gotham. When he was younger, maybe he could see himself out there - maybe he and Matt could have carried on as good-natured rivals. He thought about saying as much once - about wanting to see what he'd do.

The same urge had taken ahold of him when they were much younger men as well. He remembered vandalizing one of the statues by the courthouse, knocking Lady Justice's scales loose. If we get caught, I'll say it was the clumsy blind kid - (Who are you calling clumsy!?)

Matt was, actually, exceptionally agile.

If they both hadn't been laughing, he would have apologized. He wishes he'd apologized anyway. Sorry, I think almost getting us killed was a symptom of a condition I've had since I was five where I have to touch fire and sharp edges and I just didn't care like I was supposed to.

Things were left unsaid.

He hadn't expected Matt to visit. More people avoided him after the fact, and he didn't entirely blame them. He wouldn't have blamed Matt for not coming to Gotham. Not ever.

"Don't beat yourself up."

Maybe his voice had changed, or his breath circled differently between his exposed teeth. Maybe Matt could see without seeing, maybe he could tell what was missing. Maybe Two-Face was lying in wait beneath his tongue. Could he hear that, too? Both of them?

"For what it's worth, it's good to know you're not going to start staring." he smiles, and it's in his voice, too.

Behind the smooth glass at Arkham, all he is, is a voice.

"The only question I have is whether the pain you and I have, from the chemicals, the acid --- does that ever go away for good?"

He knows it doesn't. Never entirely. Never forever.

"It doesn't, does it?"

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Hey. It’s me. Matt. It’s been… a while. Um. I was going to visit after… but I didn’t because I was scared and I thought you didn’t need me—- shoot, let me start over.

This is Matthew Murdock. We roomed together? From undergrad school? I was the crazy blind guy?

*He takes a deep breath.*

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t visit. I am such a terrible person. I know I’m all the way in New York, but that’s not an excuse, crap, none of these… I have no excuses.

I’m just sorry that I wasn’t there.

And I can’t fix you. I know that. That’s stupid—- so many people have tried “fixing” you, I don’t think that’s the way to help—-

I just wanted to let you know… that I’m here I guess.

When someone has acid thrown into their face, they tend to remember it, viscerally. Harvey does. He thinks about it every single day. He remembered hanging on by a thread, living one single breath at a time - and maybe, for a fleeting moment, he thought about that blind kid. He couldn't imagine what this kind of pain would be like for someone much younger than he was. Someone who - hadn't done anything.

No, that wasn't right. It wasn't Harvey's fault. He had to stop thinking that way.

Maybe he should have started up his own damn law firm and taken his own damn cases as he pleased. Alas, Mr. Dent had to be District Attorney. He had to be the Prosecutor. He was suited for it in every way, molding his love for Gotham and his resentment into something righteous. Not entirely perfect, but sincere nonetheless.

Bad things happen to good people.

Harvey didn't feel like good people.

Matt was good people.

Harvey knew it when they were younger, too. He'd felt out of place out of state, but he'd gotten along with Matt almost instantly. He felt balanced.

Being away from Dad had helped tremendously, too. Being away from Gotham. When he was younger, maybe he could see himself out there - maybe he and Matt could have carried on as good-natured rivals. He thought about saying as much once - about wanting to see what he'd do.

The same urge had taken ahold of him when they were much younger men as well. He remembered vandalizing one of the statues by the courthouse, knocking Lady Justice's scales loose. If we get caught, I'll say it was the clumsy blind kid - (Who are you calling clumsy!?)

Matt was, actually, exceptionally agile.

If they both hadn't been laughing, he would have apologized. He wishes he'd apologized anyway. Sorry, I think almost getting us killed was a symptom of a condition I've had since I was five where I have to touch fire and sharp edges and I just didn't care like I was supposed to.

Things were left unsaid.

He hadn't expected Matt to visit. More people avoided him after the fact, and he didn't entirely blame them. He wouldn't have blamed Matt for not coming to Gotham. Not ever.

"Don't beat yourself up."

Maybe his voice had changed, or his breath circled differently between his exposed teeth. Maybe Matt could see without seeing, maybe he could tell what was missing. Maybe Two-Face was lying in wait beneath his tongue. Could he hear that, too? Both of them?

"For what it's worth, it's good to know you're not going to start staring." he smiles, and it's in his voice, too.

Behind the smooth glass at Arkham, all he is, is a voice.

"The only question I have is whether the pain you and I have, from the chemicals, the acid --- does that ever go away for good?"

He knows it doesn't. Never entirely. Never forever.

"It doesn't, does it?"

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

I hate that this could apply to both of them

"i could fix him" yeah? well i could accept him as he is. you don't like the murder? grow up. the atrocities are part of him and ive decided they're funny

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

POV: Matt and Harvey

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Hell yeah. As a Batman fan this is accurate. However, while Spidey would be able to body all of the villains physically, this man is going through the WRINGER emotionally and psychologically. He is not going to make it through Scarecrow, Bane, or Penguin. Those three specifically would give him a really hard time (like Mysterio, Kraven, and Kingpin). I could see Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy on par with his other villains—- I especially want to see Spidey fight a cold based villain that would be cool af.

"The joker scared Peter Parker so bad he couldn’t move” literally stfu, Peter would knock tf outta the joker while doing a full comedy set

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Harvey Dent Should Be African American.

I think this should be his default race. This isn’t just some lazy race-swap for diversity “quota” reasons, or a personal aesthetic design preference—- I believe this would actually enhance the character thematically and be more enriching and fascinating writing-wise.

He’s been black before with the Billy Dee Williams portrayal, and it leaned into the Southern preacher politician angle that I really liked. Made him seem like a younger MLK.

“Black and White” thinking of Gotham. (On the nose? Maybe. I’m going somewhere with this.) He’s considered a “sell-out race traitor” to extremist black power groups, and he’s hated by the white establishment for going against the grain of their rules.

Instead of approaching this with “Right wing bad” or “Left wing bad,” it shows the nature of politics providing the illusion of choice. Harvey played against the rules to get things done and do what was good. He ran as a Democrat, then as a Republican, then a Democrat again. Then a Republican again. He believes in cracking down on crime while fixing the broken system that Arkham Asylum is. He was a defender before he was District Attorney. He took the MLK route of race relations… only for him to devolve into Malcolm X’s extremist hopelessness as Two-Face. But ultimately, he took bits and pieces of both, because his own worldview was more complex.

It’s his experience as both a lawyer AND a politician that drove him to the point of Two-Face. He built his entire career on finding the most creative way out; by sticking to the man. But no matter how complex and nuanced his takes were— people still tried dismissing him and labeling him. He was hated by both Democrats and Republicans alike. Hated by Atheists for being too Christian and Christians for not matching their culture. He was hated by the African American community for not agreeing 100% with fully with EITHER Malcolm X or MLK jr., and hated by the white establishment for constantly challenging their prejudices and not playing along as their little puppet. Harvey Dent is a complicated man. But Society doesn’t like complexity. It makes them uncomfortable. A tabloid monster is far easier to process than a messy politician.

I SWEAR Black Politicians having to make difficult compromises and having a highly charismatic personality is a Character trope—- But weirdly it appears more in history than it does in fiction?!? I think that’s not okay personally and that it should be addressed in fiction more.

Finally, NO. This is not demonizing African American struggles. If anything, it calls attention to mental health within the community that goes unaddressed in fiction, and exposes the broken legal and political system often seen in the United States. Harvey Dent is more of a tragic figure like Othello, where we learn from the tragedy, and not the characters’ “right decisions.” This is basic media literacy.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Dang yeah, I completely agree with you on the red skin scarring stuff. Weirdly it’s harder to suspend my disbelief on that. But the Blue/Green isn’t just scale-like… I prefer the Green over the blue because it just looks rotten. Like zombie flesh or dead skin. It’s definitely different from Waylon’s scales to me, because Waylon sometimes actually appears more Lizard-like, whereas Two-Face looks more like a mask, but only from a distance… then you get close and it’s clearly *not* a mask. And it’s not really skin anymore either.

Is it weird that i think i could enjoy a comic where Two-Face didn't actually have as major of scars? I think I could enjoy it, and I think it'd be better for storytelling (in some ways). If you fix the face and show the trauma is still there. That says more about mental health than anything. Trauma isn't cured by surgery. But also...I can't help thinking of all the pain two face must be in. His skin is usually bright red and almost cancerous. Unless we're discussing versions where his skin is a completely bizarre colour (like blue or green) then i struggle to completely suspend my disbelief. I don't like to picture characters I like in pain. So i think i could accept a version of two face whose scars are limited to mild burns (and maybe some knife wounds or something). Make him look scarred without making look like he's going to die of pain. Couldn't we try it out, just for one story? Ditch the dramatic scarring. Show me some slashes on his right side, sort of mirroring the slashes on his coin. Just some big things like these: ///. I think it would work! Because although i do like the uniqueness of two face's design, it's his core concept that really holds all the magic. If done right, a subtle touch could still work wonders.

And no, this isn't an indication that I want DC to make characters all gritty and serious. Just because I propose one design change doesn't mean I love realism. No! I would still want the tone of the character to be the same as always; with all the fun elements therein. But I just thought it was worth a try, just to prove that two face doesn't need flashy scars to be a compelling character.

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

Hmmm… this an interesting idea? But I’m going to bat here for the “weird” discoloration aka the Blue/Green Golden Age color.

As for suspension of disbelief, the discoloration actually makes it more believable for me, as now the weird shriveled up appearance isn’t just because of normal scars and burns… but a rotted mutation that’s just not normal skin anymore. Like it wasn’t just some acid Sal threw in his face—- He body-planted partially into this VAT of “ambiguous goop.” I have this idea that it… leaks green fluid from that side occasionally, if it’s pus, or blood, or sweat doesn’t matter, it’s just something… else. As for if it hurts? It’s more of a mild aching pain, but more just numb—- like most scar tissue is.

Finally, the mutated discolored take can make it so that plastic surgeons take one look like “It’s completely f$@king unworkable” and that skin grafts are always rejected. Like… that’s just his body now. And there’s nothing he can do about it but manage it. Just like any other disability

Is it weird that i think i could enjoy a comic where Two-Face didn't actually have as major of scars? I think I could enjoy it, and I think it'd be better for storytelling (in some ways). If you fix the face and show the trauma is still there. That says more about mental health than anything. Trauma isn't cured by surgery. But also...I can't help thinking of all the pain two face must be in. His skin is usually bright red and almost cancerous. Unless we're discussing versions where his skin is a completely bizarre colour (like blue or green) then i struggle to completely suspend my disbelief. I don't like to picture characters I like in pain. So i think i could accept a version of two face whose scars are limited to mild burns (and maybe some knife wounds or something). Make him look scarred without making look like he's going to die of pain. Couldn't we try it out, just for one story? Ditch the dramatic scarring. Show me some slashes on his right side, sort of mirroring the slashes on his coin. Just some big things like these: ///. I think it would work! Because although i do like the uniqueness of two face's design, it's his core concept that really holds all the magic. If done right, a subtle touch could still work wonders.

And no, this isn't an indication that I want DC to make characters all gritty and serious. Just because I propose one design change doesn't mean I love realism. No! I would still want the tone of the character to be the same as always; with all the fun elements therein. But I just thought it was worth a try, just to prove that two face doesn't need flashy scars to be a compelling character.

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

VILLAIN LAWYER TIM DRAKE

listen listen to me everyone sit down and listen

Bruce and Dick keep nagging Tim about how he dropped out of high school despite the fact he’s successfully topping the charts as the youngest CEO in the history of forever of a Forbes top 3 company, so he gets his GED and secretly goes to college and then passes the bar exam to become a lawyer, like how Daredevil from MARVEL is a lawyer for heroes. Except instead of heroes Tim is a VILLAIN lawyer and he’s VERY GOOD at his job.

He loves when Bruce Wayne has to attend a court session bc the defendant villain destroyed 47 million dollars worth of Wayne Co owned infrastructure, and Tim is at the stand successfully bringing the debt amount down. Every dollar off, Bruce looks more Tired and Defeated and it fuel’s Tim’s energy more than any coffee brand ever could.

Also Tim is in the perfect position to work hand in hand with the Goonion. He does pro bono work for them. He has an entire Goonion-partnered campaign just to steal workforce from the Joker.

Slogan: “Why work for the Joker when your chances of him killing you are worse than Two-Face’s 50/50? Riddler has life insurance policies and dental! Red Hood has life insurance policies, health and dental, and a solid PTO plan! Don’t work for a clown 🤡 who’s just gonna screw you over 😔 Gothamites are smarter than that!”

[thatoneplaguedoctor]

why don't male comic book characters wear cunty little robes anymore. did you gentlemen all throw out your cunty little robes?