the-captaincoffee - Tumblr blog

[the-captaincoffee]

Home

Home is more than a place

or a person

it’s a feeling

a feeling of belonging

of warmth

not the warmth of the fire on a cold night

but the warmth that ignites your heart

the warmth that makes you humm

the warmth that puts a smile on your face

home is more than just something to go to

its a way of being

and i can see you havent found it

from the dark storm behind your eyes

from the twitch of your fingers

from the forcefulness of your smile

i hope one day you find it

your home

and i hope i’m there to see it

to feel it

to be home

with you

[the-captaincoffee]

Sky

When the sky is dark

And I’m falling apart

I look at you

And then smile a little too

[the-captaincoffee]

Bird

When I see you my heart... it... she struggled with words, trying to sort the tangled web of her mind enough to explain to him how she felt its as if my heart is a bird trapped inside the cage of my ribs. And when I see you... she took a breath... it tries to break free from the cage. It sings and it hums and it flutters about. That's why I'm so scared, it's never done this before. And I'm scared that if I set it free it'll never come back. But I guess that I should follow that old saying right? If you love something let it go. You have my heart, you have the bird that sings for your ears only...

[the-captaincoffee]

I look for you

I look for you

On the screen

In the bar

I look for you

When I hear a funny joke

From some old bloke

I look for you

When the soccer is on

When we are all having fun

I look for you

And I wonder

If sometimes

You maybe

Just maybe

Look for me too

[the-captaincoffee]

Heartbreakingly

I think there is something magical about feeling sadness after happiness

You know that feeling when the weight lifts off

And you can finally breathe

And the world doesn’t seem so dark anymore

But your world is still broken

You’re relieved and sad but oh so happy

It’s beautiful and heartbreaking

Or maybe just heartbreakingly beautiful

[the-captaincoffee]

Magic-less

When I was younger I had dreams of moving overseas, and seeing the world and eating new foods, of having a job and a nice car and just being happy. And now i'm older, and I have those things except I'm not happy, my world still feels broken, it still hurts to breathe, and the coffee that tasted like magic just tastes like coffee. And I don't know if that means that I got all I wanted and it wasn't enough or if I wanted the wrong things, but whatever it is, I'm now stuck in a world dreaming of how to get that magic coffee back

[the-captaincoffee]

To the boy who

How can you say thank you to a person who showed you how to feel complete

Who showed you that you deserved to feel more than just sadness

Who looked at you with so much love and made you feel worthy of it

Who wanted you more than for just your pretty face

Who wanted you for more than the way your skin felt beneath their fingertips

Who held you when you cried and who made you laugh straight after

How can you say thank you to the boy who showed you what a man was supposed to act like

Who pushed you just enough so that you could see all you could be but never asked for more than you were

Who taught you how to love and how to be loved

... How can I say thank you, to you?

[the-captaincoffee]

Tolerates

Learn to love who you are Without your makeup and high heels Learn to love your heartbreaks And breakdowns Your off-tune singing and dancing to your own beat Learn to love yourself For all your so-called flaws Because you deserve more than someone that just “tolerates them” Even if that person is you

[the-captaincoffee]

Told

He told me that he’s sorry

And asked to try again

He said that he’d do better

And be a better friend

But this is not the first time

He’s said those words to me

And now I can’t help wondering

If I should set him free

[the-captaincoffee]

Moment

I’m not sure when it happens, or how it happens, but there is this moment, a small insignificant moment when we realise that we deserve more then what we are getting. Its not a big moment, it’s not earth shattering or profound, it is not met with clapping or screams, it is just a moment, a small insignificant moment.

[the-captaincoffee]

Feel

I don’t know what I feel for you

Or if I even do

I don’t know what to think of you

Or if you think of me too

All I do is wonder

As I stutter through my thoughts

And it scares me half to death

As I think of how what I felt for him was all the love I had left

[the-captaincoffee]

One and Done

You broke me I was fine and happy and content and you came along and broke me and now I cant breathe you broke me and I cant breathe and you don't care its as if its a normal day for you as if you didn't take my heart and smash it into a thousand pieces as if you didn't tell me you loved me and then walked away and I don't know what to do because you were my home you were my person you were my one and done and now I'm the only one and you're just done

[the-captaincoffee]

The boy in the green jacket

I’m scared to say yes

To the boy in the green jacket

I’m scared to feel anything

For the boy in the green jacket

I’m scared to miss

The boy in the green jacket

Because without fail

When I do any of these

It’s as if I change

It’s as if everything I was feeling was a lie

And I start to say no

To the boy in the green jacket

And I begin to feel nothing

For the boy in the green jacket

And I don’t even think

About the boy in the green jacket

And I don’t want to hurt

The boy in the green jacket

So I sit

Thinking about the boy in the green jacket

And all we could be

Then I put on my mask

And hide

From the boy in the green jacket

[the-captaincoffee]

Feeling

home is more than a place or a person it’s a feeling a feeling of belonging of warmth - not the warmth of the fire on a cold night but the warmth that ignites your heart the warmth that makes you hum the warmth that puts a smile on your face home is more than just something to go to its a way of being and i can see you haven't found it from the dark storm behind your eyes from the twitch of your fingers from the forcefulness of your smile i hope one day you find it your home and i hope i’m there to see it to feel it to be home with you

[the-captaincoffee]

I want to live in a place where everything is nothing. I want important matters to be the types of pasta I eat and sunsets on the beach.

[the-captaincoffee]

Feelings

I think maybe I loved you And maybe I didn't see it then Maybe I didn't want to But I’m looking through my phone And I’m seeing these photos Of me and you Of us smiling Of us laughing Of the pictures you took when I wasn't watching And it hit me The feelings that I didn't know were there And now your dating someone And shes amazing And you love her And I’m stuck just feeling These damn feelings

[the-captaincoffee]

Demons

She stood meters away from her house in the freezing wind trying to build up the courage to walk through that front door. The only problem was, unlike most people her Demons did not live inside her, they lived in the place she once called home.

They did not know they were her demons and she wondered why. Every word that their tongues formed made her centimetres smaller. Every comment made her want to run away. And the worst of it all was that they felt that the way they spoke was okay.

That they did not have to justify themselves to other people, that other people's happiness did not depend on them. Yet they had children, parents, partners. She did not understand how someone could grow to become a monster. Did they not see how people's words and actions affect them? Did they not care? How could someone become so hollow and cold?

She knew one thing for sure she would never turnout that way. She would do everything in her power to make herself better than the person she once was. The person she was becoming. Kate would not be angry. Hatred would not drip from her every pore. She would make herself unspeakably happy, she would not justify herself to the cruel would that she was once a part of. The only question she had to ask herself was how?