the-chocolate-void

[the-chocolate-void]

⋆｡ﾟUnspoken Desires ⋆｡ﾟ

GIFs not mine!

Summary: Hidden desires surface, leaving Bucky and Steve wrestling with their feelings. Amidst tears, they find the courage to share their emotions, leading to a heartfelt confession.

Pairing: Bucky x Steve

Warnings: none

word count: 1.7k

author's note: I also posted this on AO3 (a_kind_spirit) so if you see this story over there that is me :)

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It started off as a joke, more or less an innocent quip from Tony. He just couldn’t resist teasing Bucky and Steve, suggesting that the only thing they were missing was a child to make their little family complete. With a mischievous wiggle of his eyebrows and a trademark Tony wink, he threw the idea out there. Steve laughed it off, a somewhat awkward chuckle emanating from his throat. He was uncomfortable talking to Tony about the prospects of their future. Skillfully changing the topic of the conversation, he diverted Tony’s attention while extricating himself from Bucky’s embrace and suggesting getting another round of drinks. A slight frown briefly appeared on Tony’s face, but it disappeared a second later. He chose to stand up and stretch his limbs, using Steve's limited knowledge of drinking culture due to his icy slumber as an excuse to discreetly follow him.

Unbeknownst to them, eyes followed their movements, tracking their postures and emotions like a map of a fantasy world at the beginning of a book. Letting his eyes fall over Steve’s back, turned to him while he appeared to be in a somewhat heated conversation with Tony—most likely scolding him about the scarce beverage options available at the billionaire's bar. Bucky’s sudden silence and the uncharacteristic absence of his dry and sarcastic humor didn’t go unnoticed. As worried glances were cast in Bucky's direction, a subtle tension filled the air. However, just as the atmosphere seemed heavy with concern, the mood shifted abruptly. The music changed its tune, the rhythm taking on a jazzy flair that lured them out of their worries. In a seamless motion, they rose from their seats, their worries dissipating like a distant memory, filling the room with their joyous laughter as they made atrocious attempts to dance to the beat.

"Are you alright?" a voice broke through the haze, accompanied by a heavy hand settling upon Bucky's shoulder. His attention was drawn away from his distant state as he turned his head slightly, his eyes meeting the familiar face of his beloved. A gentle smile tugged at Bucky's lips as he took in the sight of Steve—his flushed face and carefree demeanor, clearly influenced by the drinks Tony had insisted he consume. "Yeah, Steve," Bucky replied while laying his hand on Steve’s, his voice laced with warmth. "I'm fine." Steve acknowledged Bucky's response with a nod, seeing through the gentle smile. He gave Bucky's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before redirecting his focus to the dance floor. Without glancing back, Steve made a request, his words laced with a subtle vulnerability, "Would you like to dance with me?"

Bucky's heart skipped a beat at the question, his gaze following Steve's to where Pepper and Tony swayed in each other's arms. A mix of emotions welled up within him—happiness, longing, and a touch of hesitation. He diverted his attention back to the hand Steve had extended to him, a reassuring smile playing on his face. Bucky placed his hand into his, not averting his eyes.

Time seemed to stand still as Steve led him to the dance floor. The jazzy tune changed into traditional pop, and the sultry voice of Frank Sinatra filled the silence of the room. Slow dancing was a regular habit between the pair, but never had Steve asked to openly express his love through softly swaying to the beat in a public place. As they moved together, Steve's hand tenderly cupped Bucky's cheek, redirecting his attention back to him. The touch sent a shiver down Bucky's spine. He couldn't help but chuckle softly, recognizing the irony of the situation. It was usually Bucky who had to coax Steve out of his deep thoughts, yet now the tables were turned. "Where are your thoughts leading you, my love?" The concerned look, coupled with the tender touch on Bucky’s cheek, nearly brought him to tears. But not in a public place, and not when he couldn’t tell his lover the reason for his sudden despair. Not when he was too ashamed to admit what he had wanted for years.

Bucky closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, humming the melody, not giving Steve an answer. Swaying to the beat and Sinatra’s sultry voice seemed to blend into the background as Steve searched for answers in Bucky’s eyes, who was staring back at him with fondness. The song stopped, the silence being filled with heartfelt chatter and the occasional chorus of cheers, before transitioning into yet another jazzy tune. "I think I’ll go to bed early. Will you be alright?" Steve's eyes displayed a whirlwind of emotions as he desperately tried to grasp what had gotten Bucky so distant and melancholic. “Yeah, I'll be up in our room shortly."

Bucky walked to the elevator, feeling Steve’s concerned gaze burning into his back. Just as the elevator doors closed, a stray tear trickled down Bucky’s face, his head leaning on the cold wall of the elevator cabin.

A sad sigh escaped his throat as his bloodshot eyes wandered over his own features in the mirror. The frustration over ruining a perfect night with his own selfish desires burned in his heart. He knew Steve. Every nook and cranny of his personality was perfectly mapped out over the years of friendship that eventually turned into something more. The sudden change in topic when Tony had brought up the prospect of kids, diverting his attention elsewhere, escaping from the conversation. Steve was uncomfortable, even thinking about having kids with him and raising a child together. The topic alone made him flee the conversation. Tears stained his shirt, but he couldn’t care less. Not when the one desire that he had always wanted to fulfill was now out of reach. Not when he was mourning the loss of his dream.

The door creaked open, and footsteps were silenced by the carpeted floor. Steve's eyes wandered over Bucky’s sleeping form under the comforter. He brushed some stray hair out of Bucky’s face, watching his chest move up and down. The rhythmic breath comforted him slightly. A sigh of uncertainty escaped his throat as he settled on the opposite side of the king-sized bed. Closing his eyes, he let himself fall into the whirlwind that was his thoughts, not yet ready to let himself succumb to comforting slumber. Through the heavy silence, a gentle voice pierced the air, breaking the tension like a sharp blade. "Steve?" The sound hung in the room, carrying a sense of vulnerability and longing. Bucky shifted, turning his body upwards.

"Are you awake?" Bucky rolled over, now facing Steve, whose eyes had fluttered open. "Yes," Steve responded softly, mirroring Bucky's movement, rolling onto his side to face him.

"I can't sleep." Bucky felt Steve’s arms encircle him into a hug, placing his chin onto the black mop of hair. "Why not, love?" Steve's voice was gentle, laced with genuine concern. As Bucky listened to the steady rhythm of Steve's heart, a flicker of calmness settled within him.

Bucky sighed deeply, removing himself from Steve’s embrace and sitting up , creating a bit of space between them. Steve followed suit, perching himself up on his elbow, looking at his lover in the darkness of the night, the light of a lone streetlamp illuminating just one half of Bucky’s face. "You know you can tell me anything. If something bothers you or if I did something wrong, I want to know what it is, not only because..." Steve trailed off.

"Because 'healthy communication is the key to everything.' I know the speech, Steve," Bucky chuckled. "You've given me the same speech since the day I met you, you know?"

"It has a good message." Even through the darkness, Bucky could see the slight pout that probably took place on Steve's face at this moment. "I know that it's getting old..."

"I want a kid, Steve."

The room was filled with a heavy silence, enveloping them in its weight. It seemed to drown out the sounds of the city outside and the ticking of the clock on the nightstand. The air felt charged, anticipation hanging in the space between them. A lone tear trickled down his cheek, and he quickly wiped it away, but they just kept coming. The weight of his unspoken desire had been lifted, and his floodgates had been opened. Steve's voice broke the silence, his words cautious yet filled with genuine curiosity. "Since when?" Bucky took a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Always," he confessed, his words slipping out like fragile secrets, his voice strained and raw, trying his best not to let his despair show. "Since the day you made that innocent joke about the kids in the park. The ones who reminded you of Peter. Since the day you told me about your desire to give him a good childhood. Since..” He took a deep breath, his emotions overwhelming him. “Since the day I met you, Steve. Since the day you said yes to marrying me."

It wasn't an awkward or uncomfortable silence that followed suit. Bucky knew Steve liked to ponder over his words before speaking his mind. "Do you remember the yacht trip Tony took us on last year?"

"Don’t change the subject, Steve."

"I’m not, love. Let me talk. I've been wanting to say this for a long time. The second day on the yacht. When you and Nat were swimming. Pepper and Tony approached me. We talked. We talked about their future, their past, our past, and... our future. And Tony asked if he would ever see Mini-Us running about in the Stark Tower. And I said yes. Because I had been thinking about it for years. Since the day I requited my love for you.”

Steve pauses, listening to Bucky breathe. In and out. In and out. He places his hands on Bucky’s cheeks, admiring his features in the darkness of the night. “Do you want to do this with me... James Buchanan Barnes?"

"Yes, with you, always."

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Thank you for reading this, truly :)

[the-chocolate-void]

Tumbler LIVE infiltrated my phone not even a few hours ago, but its annoying the everliving fuck out of me. Also that shit with the Netflix Tab.....why. just why.

[the-chocolate-void]

WHAT IF (Agatha Harkness) ?

BUT its written like a Script

Windy Weather. Dirt Path. Camera Flying over the small Village into the Woods. Seen Agatha practising spells alone. Agatha fails another spell. Spell book falls to the floor. 

Agatha (frustrated): Why won’t this work? Am reading it wrong? 

Picks up Spell book flipping through it. Deciding on an easier spell. Trying (muttering: Wanderrie Flex) and failing (nothing happens) 

Envorara (angry): AGATHA HARKNESS, WHERE ARE YOU? 

Agatha looking in the Direction of the Scream. Picking spell book up and running back to the house. Meeting angry Enevorara on the Porch of their house 

Enevorara (angry): Did you take MY Spell book? 

Ripping book out of Agatha´s hands. Puts it down on table. Grabbing Agatha on the collar. 

Envorara (angry): Do you know how dangerous that is? People could see you! Not to mention that you are 12 and not supposed to know these spells. You’re an apprentice witch do not forget that. 

Agatha (scared): But I just wanted- 

Envorara (Angry): I don’t care what you want! Do you only care for yourself? What will happen if People see you? Go up to your room and stay there until I call you down 

Agatha: But Mother- 

Envorara (Angry): Don’t Mother me. Go up to your room! 

Agatha: *frustrated sigh 

Agatha turns around face blank. Walks to the stairs 

Envorara: and Agatha? 

Agatha: yes? 

Envorara: Do never, ever again go into my library or there will be consequences! 

Agatha nods. Turns around rolls her eyes and walks up the stairs. Goes in direction of the room. Suddenly hears a voice in her head 

Voice: Agatha Harkness. Lovely to meet! I’ve been waiting for a powerful witch like you! 

Agatha (scared): Who is this? 

Voice: You don’t need to know my name! The only thing you need to know is that I’ll make the most powerful witch out of you that the world has ever seen 

Agatha feels a pull and her feet start to walk even though she doesn’t want to. Agatha: Looks scared. Feet lead her to her mum´s library 

Agatha (thinking): Mum´s library? 

Goes in and passes a lot of bookcases. Stops at a glass showcase. Sees Book.  

Agatha (thinking) : D-a-r-k h-o-l-d? Mum´s never shown me that one 

Voice: That´s because it doesn’t belong to her. She isn’t worthy of studying it…. but you are. Come one take it out! 

Agatha (hesitantly) opens show case and takes it out slowly 

Voice (sighs): Ahh... Freedom 

Book starts flying and glowing in a dark purplish colour. 

Voice: Every spell is more powerful than the other. You´ll be more powerful than any within the coven 

Agatha (saying under her breath): Powerful? 

Voice: Yes, young Agatha. Powerful! 

Book suddenly drops to the floor loudly. Stops glowing. Agatha hears her mothers’ footsteps up the stairs. Hastily picks up book and runs to her room. Puts book under her bed. 

((Yeah so and thats when i got lazy))

[the-chocolate-void]

Am I the only one that goes in a room to get sth but forgets what they wanted to get. Steps out of the room. Remembers! Steps back in and has zero clue why tf im in the living room