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Albums that turn 30.

It's 2019. Here are some of the best albums turning 30 this year. In other words, the best albums of 1989.

Fugazi - 13 Songs

Bad Religion - No Control

Boredoms - Soul Discharge

Madonna - Like a Prayer

Minor Threat - Complete Discography

Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique

De La Soul - 3 Feet High and Rising

Pixies - Doolittle

The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses

Godflesh - Streetcleaner

Felt - Me and a Monkey on the Moon

Jungle Brothers - Done by the Forces of Nature

Kate Bush - The Sensual World

Neil Young - Freedom

Einsturzende Neubauten - Haus Der Luge

Galaxie 500 - On Fire

Mekons - The Mekons Rock 'n' Roll

Faith No More - The Real Thing

Neneh Cherry - Raw Like Sushi

The Cure - Disintegration

Spacemen 3 - Playing With Fire

New Order - Technique

Lou Reed - New York

Operation Ivy - Energy

Melvins - Ozma

Beat Happening - Black Candy

Roy Orbison - Mystery Girl

Nirvana - Bleach

Mudhoney - Mudhoney

Jesus and Mary Chain - Automatic

Oh yes. I will listen to every one of these albums this year.

Similar lists for 1969, 1979, 1999, and 2009 to follow.

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New year's resolution plus clear up.

My New Year's resolution is to stop complaining about my colleague's pronunciation. So seeing as today is December 31st, let me list some of the words and names I've heard him mispronounce.

Disclaimer: Regional accents are awesome. I have one myself. But I soften it for work. Because we're supposed to. Because we teach US English. To children. Japanese children. The curriculum we use is based on US English. So I say, if you can't say the words in the teaching materials, you can't teach the words.

Here goes. The correct word followed by an approximation of my colleague's way of saying it.

Down - doiyin

Around - arroiyind

Town - tun

Brown - brorrin

December - Deecembir

September - Siptumbir

February - Fibyuharry

January - Janharry

Cacophony - kaka phoney

4th - fars

5th - fiffs

5 - fife

I'm - am

Corey - Corry

Allan - Allen

Crayons - crowons

Numbers - nommburs

And many, many more.

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The Aussie Food Snob

After two consecutive Trump posts I feel the need to write something else. A few years ago I was standing in the street talking with a friend of mine, let's call him Sean, and his co-worker, Jethro, came walking round the corner. We all got chatting. What Jethro said: "So what are you guys up to tonight?" What Sean said: "We are going out for dinner and now we're going to a bar." What Jethro said: "Euch." What I said: "What?" What Sean said: "He doesn't think there are any good restaurants in this city." What I said: "Are you fucking serious? This city of 2 million people with more restaurants per square kilometer than pretty much anywhere else and not one of them is good." What Jethro said: "Well, I'm from Melbourne…" What I said: "I don't know what that means." What I should have said: "I don't know what that means. Is everyone from Melbourne a pretentious, judgemental twat? Or just a gigantic food snob who can't accept that two people who he barely knows have just enjoyed a meal in a restaurant that wasn't in fucking Central Australia?" Some would have considered that a huge overreaction but seriously, fuck that guy.

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Trump and the Executive Orders

The other day my (right-wing, somewhat clueless) co-worker was reading the definition of "executive order." What he said: "I never worried about Trump getting elected because I assumed he wouldn't actually be able to carry out all the controversial things he proposed." What I said: *having heard this for the 4th time by now* "Uh huh." What he said: "And if these executive orders are so strong why didn't Obama sign them to ban guns? He was always talking about banning guns but Congress wouldn't let him." What I said: "I don't know. Must be more to it than that." What I should have said: "Did Obama actually say he wanted to ban guns? Because I had no idea about it until you mentioned it a few months ago. Like, did he actually say that? I've read that people say he said it. People like Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and Donald Trump. And I've read about Obama smacking it down and calling it a conspiracy and that he never had any plans to take away or ban guns. I know he pleaded with people to be more responsible which seems like a pretty presidential thing to do, appealing to the humanity of your country, as opposed to just signing a piece of paper and stealing peoples basic human rights. Which is what a dictator would do. Maybe what a dictator is doing.

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Trump and his gagging.

Talking about this - http://www.theverge.com/2017/1/24/14372940/trump-gag-order-epa-environmental-protection-agency-health-agriculture with my co-worker. TLDR Version: Trump has blocked the Environmental Protection Agency and the Department Of Agriculture from publishing any new rules, findings, conclusions or news for the time being. What he said: "Yeah but these are all government funded agencies so they have to be in line with the government and basically say what the government want them to say." What I said: "I don't think so." What he said: "It's like when the civil service in the UK wasn't allowed to *goes off on unrelated tangent until I leave the room.*" What I should have said: "No. They're not government agencies. They are scientists who are funded by tax-payers to share with them scientifically proven facts about the environment. About the air we breathe and the food we eat. It is not up to the government to decide they don't agree with the facts and whoever is sitting in the White House makes no difference whatsoever." Then I would have left the room… because it was time to do so anyway.

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Interrupt me one more time I dare you

Setting the scene: At work, with my co-worker, a few minutes into a story about my daughter having an ear infection during the summer break. What was said: Me: "So we went to the doctor over there, and he had a look at her ear but he's an allergy specialist so all he said he could do was rule out that it wasn't an allergic reaction to anything. So we phoned the allergy clinic down by the park-" Him: "The one by the park? My boys go there." Me: "Yeah I've been there myself. So we phoned-" Him: "My boys hate it!" Me: "So we phoned, and it was a saturday and already half 11 and they're only open until half 12-" Him: "It's always so busy!" Me: "And the receptionist told us they were very busy, but we booked an appointment. Then we phoned a taxi which took ages to get there and it was ridiculously hot and my daughter was getting tired and hungry and obviously still in quite a bit of pain. But when we got to the clinic she was a bit better-" Him: "Because of the air-conditioning!" Me: "And then when the doctor looked at her she cried a lot-" Him: "My boys cry the house down! Because they have to strap them in the chair and poke around in their nose!" Me: "But they gave us some medicine and told us to come back in a few days. And my daughter fell asleep in her buggy on the walk back, but was really cranky and upset. We went to the burger place for lunch and I was so stressed out because she was so tired and upset and in so much pain, but when she woke up she looked up at me and gave me the biggest smile she could have. It was so sweet-" Him: "Smiling and waiting for her hamburger!" Me: "No. Smiling because I'm her dad and she loves me. She doesn't fucking know what a hamburger is." Him: "Hahaha! I was only joking!" What I then should have said: "Yeah but you weren't only joking were you? You were interrupting and making light of a tender situation and one of the most stressful moments of my baby's young life. You interrupted me constantly trying to make the conversation about you and your family despite the fact that you asked specifically about my summer. And you either didn't notice or completely ignored the fact that I was visibly moved at remembering my daughter in so much pain in her ears that she would burst into tears every time you slightly touched her eats. Don't fucking interrupt me."

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Something slightly different

A friend of mine just announced on Facebook that they are moving to Australia later this year. What I said: "Congratulations!" What I wanted to say: "Good for you you fucking hypocrite. Did you not say three months ago that Australia accepting refugees was fundamentally wrong because those kinds of immigrants do nothing but raise the levels of crime? And then when you were shown a statistical study that showed that refugees and immigrants actually contribute a huge part of Australia's economy you dismissed it as being left-wing propaganda? But it's ok for you to go? Someone who has a stable life and job in a safe, wealthy country should be able to go and live in Australia by choice without any problems whereas someone fleeing a death-trap war zone, fleeing for their very life, has no right to be there? You make me sick."

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Commenting on an article about what japanese people call foreign people. Notice the delay in my replying to the other guys post. My initial thought was "Hey fuck you buddy I happen to enjoy my job and think it's actually quite important!"

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The creepy co-worker.

At work, for the past few weeks, we have had lots of junior high school kids (14 and 15 year olds) around doing a kind of work experience. Yesterday, this happened: My co-worker: "I had an abhorrent thought. I was watching that class playing outside and I thought "That high school girl looks really good bending over like that." And I was like, oh god I'm turning into a dirty old man!" Me: "Jesus." Him: "And then I realized-" Me: "And then you realized she was a junior high school student and you felt even worse?" Him: "No. Then I realized it was actually the teacher and that's ok!" What I should have said: "That teacher is still 15 years younger than you. You dirty old man."

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Oh how I hated my old job

At a work meeting once. A teacher from another branch was there and the boss was talking about how great this teacher was and how many new students they got to join the after-school classes. What they said: "She's great. She got 34 new students. That's better than anyone in this branch." He proceeded to go round the table asking everyone how many new students they got. "How did you do?" Person A: "Shit." "How did you do?" Person B: "Shit." "How did you do?" Person C: "Shit." "How did you do?" Me: "Yeah not too good. 24." "What kind of a fucking answer is 24!? Everyone else says "shit, shit, shit" and then you say "24" you fucking idiot!" Everyone laughs. I resist the urge to start killing each and every one of them. Boss continues: "How did you get 24? How many did you get at your Monday school?" "6" "Tuesday?" "4" "Wednesday?" "3" "Thursday?" "7" "Friday?" "4" "Is that 24!?" What I said: "Oh god. Now you don't even think I can count properly." At this point someone else started talking and it was all forgotten about. What I should have said: "Yes that's 24. Of course that's 24. It's not that difficult to add up five numbers. And in answer to your other question I think "24" is a perfectly good answer and certainly much better than just saying "Shit" because that's what you want to hear. I don't care if 24 is a good number or not but it's what I got and I know it's what I've got whereas everyone else has to look in their notes and folders to find their numbers or just say "Shit" and hope for a laugh. If you were asked for a report on something like this in any normal job and you said "Shit" you would be wasting everyone's time and showing that you didn't have the faintest idea what you were talking about. But because you are the boss here and you think everyone is shit everyone says "Shit" and it's all fun and games and, even worse, it's somehow an acceptable answer. What a joke." Coincidentally enough, later that night the boss said to me privately "It's good that you know your numbers." Is it really? Well why the fuck didn't you say that during the meeting earlier when everyone else was there? Are you really that threatened by me that you have to invent an opportunity to belittle me in front of my co-workers? Grow the fuck up.

[theanxietywall-blog]

Sexual partners

In the pub, talking about the number of sexual partners we had all had. Inane, unimportant drunken conversation topic if ever there was one.

What Person A said [to me]: “What about you? How many girls have you had sex with?”

What I said: “None of your business.”

“Oh come on just tell us” “Alright. Guess” “1” “Guess properly” “What?” “It’s more than one for fuck’s sake. I’m 26. You don’t seriously think that my current girlfriend is the only person I’ve ever slept with do you? If you really want to know, my number is 12.” “Hmm. 12… That’s like, one especially rapey weekend by [Person B]’s standards.” “What’s your point? He has a lot of one-night stands. I’ve never had one. All the girls I’ve slept with have been my girlfriends and every one of them has told me they loved me.”

What I should have continued saying: “How many girls could he say that about? 1 or 2 at most I’d reckon because all the female staff we work with think he’s a sexist, fat, bald, sweaty, rude asshole. But seeing as you think this is so important, let’s imagine he does have sex with a different girl every weekend. 52 girls a year. Let’s be generous and say that some of them might stay the whole night and have sex more than once so let’s round it up to 70 times a year. He has sex 70 times a year. Now, I have a steady girlfriend and have no plans to break up with her. I could conceivably have that in 3 months. So in a year, I could have 4 times as much sex as him. But because it’s only with one girl that somehow makes me less of a man? Fuck you. Fuck all of you for believing such nonsense.

[theanxietywall-blog]

Off topic

I posted this on my very private facebook but even though it's unrelated to the initial purposes of this tumblr, I want to share. Basically, There was a traffic accident outside my school yesterday. A junior high schoolgirl got hit by a car and was sent flying about 20 feet. No news on whether she was badly hurt because all anyone at work could talk about was a controversial plan to entertain some high profile teacher-training people by getting the best looking teachers to put on miniskirts and dance for them. The trainers are all old men. The teachers are all between 25 and 31. This was all decided by the school manager, who is usually a very professional woman... That's right. Woman. To be honest, it's actually quite a relief that most/all of the staff at work are quite uncomfortable with the fact that she thinks that if she gets three young teachers to flash their underwear any problems with the school will be swiftly forgotten. Even the other english teacher thinks this is ridiculously sexist. And he's the guy who asks his wife if she's "about to bleed" every time she corrects him. I've lived in Japan now for quite a long time. It is a very sexist place and it's shocking how people just kind of accept it. But, even by japanese standards, this is pretty shocking.

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Something different

Something slightly more light-hearted than usual: Setting the scene: High school. I don't remember what year but we were around 16 years old. What someone said: In physics class, out of nowhere, my friend asked the others at his table, "If you could rid of three races of people from the world, who would you pick? I'd choose the gays, the feminists and the pakis." (Sigh. Seriously. This was around 17 years ago and I swear I still haven't come to terms with it. Disgusting.) What I said: Nothing. No-one said anything. I think we were all too shocked and appalled. No-one laughed either, thankfully. What I should have said: "Good question. I'd choose homophobes, misogynists and racists. So basically, everything you stand for."

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In Japan

Ok. Quite a specific one this. For a bit of background information, I live and work in Japan. Have done for some time. Setting the scene: Eating lunch in a fancy restaurant as part of our End of Year Celebrations. What someone said: My food arrived. I picked up my chopsticks and the woman across from me said "Wow. Can you use chopsticks?" What I said: after a short pause and glance around the table, "Well, yeah. I've lived here for like 8 years. Of course I can use chopsticks." What I should have said: 1) "Fuck off." 2) "I think so." *holds one chopstick in each hand and starts stabbing them into my bowl of soup. 3) "Don't you think that's a bit of a racist question to ask someone you've been working with for 5 years? You're assuming that just because I'm foreign I can't use chopsticks. What the fuck is wrong with you? If you picked up a fork to eat your spaghetti and I said "Woooww" what would you think? Or if you started eating your desert with a spoon and I said "Oh my god. You can use a spoon! That's amazing!" I'd be more surprised if you could use chopsticks because if there's one thing that I've learned working at this school it's that you are a fucking idiot and you can't seem to do anything at all to the point where I don't understand how you got this job in the first place. I think the only reason you're still here is so others can look at you and see a perfect example of what not to be like. One of the reasons I do this job with such young kids like your two shitty little, selfish, stupid, lazy, ugly sons is so they don't grow up thinking foreigners are somehow inherently different from japanese people to the point where they should be surprised and shocked that a foreigner can use chopsticks or speak japanese or tie their own fucking shoelaces. And I'm fucking glad I'm doing that because obviously you're not going to teach your twat kids anything like that because you're as bad at being a parent as you are at your job. "Can you use chopsticks," Yes of course I can fucking use chopsticks and if you ever ask me such a dumb, racist, ignorant, moronic question like that again I will use these chopsticks to gouge your fucking tongue out. Now, fuck off." Phew.

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Holding back so many rants right now.

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The scene: My current job. Making things. What someone said: My co-worker (technically my boss but that imply he knows what he is doing); "Those look really good. Do you need help with anything?" "Yeah that would be great. The template is there. We need to make another 4 of those. I have to go to the office now so I'll need to leave it in your capable hands." "No problem." One hour later, I walk back in the room to find him sitting on the couch playing on his iphone. Nothing has been done. "Oh hey you're back. Uh, I was going to do something but I didn't want to steal your thunder!" What I said: "Oh... umm... ok." What I should have said: "Wow. I'll need to remember that line for the next time you ask me to do something. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to have to work my ass off on these for the next 2 days so that they're ready on time. But don't you worry, I'll make sure that everyone knows that you didn't "steal my thunder" with these or indeed any of the other dozen things that I've made without any help from you. Thanks a lot, you cunt."

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The scene: My old work. A branch meeting where the boss was comparing the atmosphere in our branch with others. What someone said: "Yeah we all get along quite well. I mean, (motions towards me) he is boring as fuck but we still tolerate him." It's probably worth mentioning that no-one laughed at that. What I said: "Hmm... I think I prefer the term "reclusive." Everyone laughed. He thought he had gotten away with it and I felt like death. What I should have said: To him; "Boring as fuck? Just because I don't spend my weekends taking more drugs than a cancer patient and trying to molest girls in clubs like you do?" To the boss; "You're ok with this? You always go on about how we have to respect you and the senior staff and then this happens. A senior staff member calls someone boring as fuck during a branch meeting and no-one says anything. Is that really ok? If I responded by smashing this coffee cup in his face would that be ok?" And so on. Probably best I didn't say that but that is the point of this tumblr.