thecryingvixen-blog1

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I havent spoken to my family since coming out, and today my little brother reached out.

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Science fiction logos in the wrong typography.

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I’ve written over a couple thousand stories in my journalism career, but nothing will ever be as important as this.

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HEY GUYS I DID THIS SPIFFY LITTLE WRITEUP FOR MY GRAND RAPIDS MUSIC HISTORY SERIES (hopefully soon to be a podcast). Seriously, of all the bands I’ve seen since I’ve been part of this scene, The Lippies are in my top-five.

As a trans-person, and a sexual assault survivor -- Broucek’s lyrics were super fucking instrumental to my emotional recovery. I first discovered and wrote about the band for Mlive back in 2014 while I was still raw from the sexual assault, living alone in a single-bedroom apartment, and drinking most of my meals. It was super unhealthy. 

But Broucek’s focus on bodily autonomy and willingness to call out a system that marginalizes trans people (among others, obviously) helped me rebuild a sense of self and a notion of purpose. They weren’t around for long, but I’m glad they were here. 

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Posting femme pictures I like (while learning makeup) part 2.

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GOT episode 4 was great.

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Hey, did you hear about the heroic Senator who is battling an especially deadly form of cancer (and recovering from major surgery) but still flew to D.C. to make sure the Republicans could not pass any version of their awful healthcare repeal bill? Her name is Senator Mazie Hirono of Hawaii and she has stage 4 kidney cancer but she still flew 5,000 miles so that the Democrats would have their 48th No vote. You might not have heard of her, over the sound of the media sucking John McCain's dick.

Seriously.

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An imaginary conversation between a trans kid and their nazi-fighting grandfather

While I’m updating my Tumblr with old material from my blog, I felt like this was a really important piece to add. 

This was originally a Chasing the Sky song I wrote about my grandfather’s death. As a kid, my family was very close knit. I especially loved and admired my grandfather. If I’m being honest part of it was for the candy and Beanie Babies he always gave me, but another part were his stories about his time in the US Army during the liberation of France (and his post-war time as prison guard watching over nazi POWs).

When I was really young he taught me two things I’ll always remember. The first is empathy -- his corny catchphrase was “some people really just need recognition and response.” He gave me a sort of Uncle Ben style belief that the ability to help someone is equivalent to the responsibilty to help someone.

The second thing he taught me, at like age eight, was how to raise my middle finger (at my dad, nonetheless). 

I hold real tight to both those lessons today. 

My friend Melissa (of Romance for Ransom) helped me spruce up the song as a christmas present for my father last year. Since then, my faith in family has kinda cracked. After opening up about my gender identity, my parents and I aren’t on speaking terms anymore (you know how Jesus people are). 

But this song still means a lot to me -- and I’d like to maintaint he fantasy that if my grandfather were still alive, he wouldn’t be one of the family members that abandoned me. And he’d probably be real pissed alongside me at all this neo-nazi shit that’s suddenly acceptable. I might be wrong. But I’ll never have an answer, so I choose to believe it because I can, and because it helps me get through the day. 

Here’s an obligatory link to my blog post for the release of this song (and a free download). 

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So in addition to going through several major surgeries and spending all summer in a weelchair, I've came out as non-binary and have been slowly coming to terms with my gender identity and altering my presentation. It's difficult to be confident in because my condition and lack of mobility has led to weight gain. But this is the most femme picture I've ever taken, waking up at a friends place the morning after a The Coathangers show. It simultaneously makes me feel really good about myself and terrified -- which is why I'm posting it here.

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I was sitting around with my roommate Kahri, talking about a project we want to do that involves some voice acting, when I remembered my friend Emilee did this cover of “Peace and Love” from Stephen Universe, and it’s really fucking good.

Life and death and love and birth and Peace and war on the planet earth Is there anything that’s worth more Than peace and love on the planet earth?

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Darcus Howe, who sadly died today, rallying anti-fascists at speaker’s corner in Lewisham,1977. Photo by Syd Shelton.

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@helenaelizabethroe made me a thing that I’ve wanted forever for my recovery process. <3 

Finished. Just have to scan and send. @kingofthelosingside #Archer #BloodyMary #acrylic #arttherapy (at Fairmont, Minnesota)

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Check out my obituary for former Fox News president and heir to the spider-realm Roger Morgoth Ailes! 

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CW: Sexual Assault, Alcohol Abuse, Date Rape

I’ve come a long way since writing this column about a friend who was nearly date-raped. It’s still pretty personal to me, and probably means a lot more after my own experiences with sexual assault and alcoholism.