toddandersonslosttwin

[toddandersonslosttwin]

Reading "sunrise on the reaping" and reading about the Donner twins as a person with a twin is different kind of pain.

[toddandersonslosttwin]

Came from the dead just to announce I finally got my hands on "sunrise on the reaping"

This a big thing because I am a die hard hunger games fan so expect me fangirling

[toddandersonslosttwin]

PADA PADA STA TO PADA VLADA PADA

I hate to be political but this is about my home country, I stand with people I will always fight for what is right.

15.3 Beograd

I am standing with my people

PUMPAJ

[toddandersonslosttwin]

"....The gods may throw a dice

Their minds as cold as ice

And someone way down here

Loses someone dear

The winner takes it all (takes it all)

The loser has to fall (has to fall)

It's simple and it's plain (it's so plain)

Why should I complain? (Why complain?)..."

This but it's about me and my childhood best friend...

We both wanted to escape our abusive families...

He had lost, commiting bc he couldn't take it anymore

I won, now I am adopted by a wonderful man, not talking about how I don't have to think about money and food anymore...

Or maybe I lost living with the guilt but his soul runs free

[toddandersonslosttwin]

"So Telemachus core"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!

So I was teaching middle school (sub yk the deal) and one pointed at my hairstyle and said that.

First I thought of the Odyssey Telemachus yk and I was confused.

Apparently there is a musical called Epic about The odyssey and my hair currently looks like Telemachus in the animation...

Yk what she was a sweet girl might as well check out what she recommended.

P.S. she was so cute when I spoke Greek all excited about it

[toddandersonslosttwin]

Grab yourself a crazy friend like Matevz bro broke into my ex's apartment stole my shit back that I didn't see in so long and also shit I got him from Remus Lupin funko pop to FUCKING socks...

And even better MY OG COPY OF SECRET HISTORY that dick didn't want to give it after breakup.....

Also he grew out hair .... Can't wait to see the first bold spot or his hair line to his ears... Yes I am patty and I pray for his downfall every day

[toddandersonslosttwin]

Ethan , who is spoiler alert my boyfriend, it's official from today on, he is basically beefing with one of my mutuals bc he saw my page and was like

"Do I have to fight for your love with her.."

Nah Ethan she is my love, my dearie , my doe , my darling.... and you are just my boyfriend...

He is a bit intimidated by my love for wonderful @belliniour

So yeah doe he is quite jealous of us

[toddandersonslosttwin]

"So do they watch you change...."

Yes Ethan they do god damnit

Nah I have a big ass collection of portraits that I hang in my room , it's nice I like it and it's usually characters from books like Charles and Camilla for exempt hanging right beside my vanity... Neil Perry above my desk .... Also love you Ethan please don't think I am a raging weirdo I know you are reading this and thank you for the flowers and the poem

[toddandersonslosttwin]

I hate humans, yesterday I had intimacy that didn't feel like roughness and doing it just because.... Like the last few ones I had (after break up I had shit short flings) it felt like love , it was gentle and soft ... And not forced... Even with my og ex which I gave my pureness to.... It felt I was just doing it bc it was some common sense not because it felt like it... For the first time it felt like making love not a duty and we don't talk about it enough about that difference and how much we got used to the roughness and duty of it just bc it makes sense... this generation is lacking passion... Also last night I felt mind blowing like it restarted my whole knowledge about sex... And when I came home I cried bc I had a midlife crisis about what is right and what just happened ... Also I have him on delivered BC I am too scared to open the message

[toddandersonslosttwin]

DAY ONE OF QUITTING DRUGS

After a crash out I had last weekend I decided enough is enough BC I could pin point who I really was I guess I liked the blue that drugs give to my bad memory.... But still I want to remember good memories.

I've noticed an increase in taking drugs after the break up. I decided to not throw myself into dating or quick flings because I really want something for a long time ... And I guess I will wait and see if maybe life will give me something... So basically I am deciding to take time to heal myself and maybe finally calm down...

For starters I decided to only get rid of pills and shit but still allow myself a joint occasionally...

[toddandersonslosttwin]

So I have my apartment that I plan on staying in as long as possible and all I ever adored was my adoptive father's library so I started my own.

Here is today's little add up, I read all of those books already but yk now I own them which is such a better feeling... Also bought them in Slovenia bc I was visiting my oldest brother and his family also this is the 6th copy of the odyssey I own help-

[toddandersonslosttwin]

I love Tumblr

Also:

Me reading poetry my doe has wrote

My lovely dove listening to my random rent

My dearie going through it together bc we both deserve better

Me listening to my dearie's beautiful words that come out of her mouth pretty mouth

Me when my dearie just exists and is just perfection

But in all seriousness this is dedicated to you my dove , some well deserved appreciation for my fav mutual my baby @belliniour

[toddandersonslosttwin]

Yet here we are 2025 and she still hasn't changed, same girl from 2020... God she are so sick... Dragging she body, getting up and down... She said she will quit drugs and pills but how can she when that's the comfort, filling up the hole of love... Lies , lies , lies , all lies all come from her mouth , playing in play where she doesn't know who she plays... Life is a blur for her... Who is she really, she doesn't know, from a seed to a flower that is never fully grown, still stuck in the middle... So many hands touch her body but none fill the hole, she wonders will it ever be full or will pills and drugs have to fill it... Screw the person who gave her the first pill... To ease the pain... Soul to be free from reality... So now she looks at the mirror all sunken, hair changed length and colour so many times but still I see myself and those blue teary eyes because she is me and I am her... And I am not watching some movie but my soul feels so detached to realize this is the reality of my life not someone else, so I can turn around when it gets bad, no this mine and I have to live it.

17 to 21 chapter

[toddandersonslosttwin]

Standing in my very much secret history, old money, dark academia outfit. Looking all mysterious and nonchalant while listening to Lepa Brena bc I felt nostalgic.

Just imagine Henry Winter on your local bus stop but instead of some deep classical shiz , Lepa Brena is playing from his headphones.

(in particular I was listening to "Jugoslovenka" and "Luda za tobom" at the moment while I was waiting for the bus)

[toddandersonslosttwin]

everything is romantic if you’re hopeless enough.

[toddandersonslosttwin]

My history and English professor trying to distract the rest of the grammar school that I was low-key failing , by showing my outstanding achievement in history and english. Love those two

Fuck you biology prof.

Nah but fr I was failing almost everything but when it came to tournaments and yk quizzes and Competitions was serious as it could be

[toddandersonslosttwin]

I have to go to a local high school tmw it's part of my college shit and part of me becoming a professor... To see how to teach and everything... Low-key scared of talking to high schoolers