trauma-coping

[trauma-coping]

Oh yeah I can’t fix the asks rn and am not active enough to be much more than an open ear, but, he/him, trans masc. thanks.

I’m sorry if this is a weird question but what are your pronouns/gender? I don’t wanna misgender u,,, idk if you’re trans or not.

I’m non-binary, and prefer they/them.

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…the newest. Last piece for now.

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,

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Newer.

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Older.

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This one’s newer.

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Another older one.

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Older piece.

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I have a similar thing to the last anon... I read stuff that reflects my trauma. My therapist says it's because some people put themselves in the place of the character because it gives them a sense of control, they know what to expect and that they can stop reading at any time. They relive the trauma, but on their own terms in a setting where they have full control, even if it's scary or upsetting. It's a coping mechanism, an outlet, and a way to heal.

Exactly.

[trauma-coping]

is reading fiction about or similar to the trauma you went through a coping mechanism? because sometimes i read stuff that ik is gross and awful but i like it and it makes me think maybe my trauma was my fault? that i was asking for it somehow? (i was like 13 and he was a grown man)

It can be. The main thing you need to determine is whether it’s a healthy one *for you* or not. Other people might think it’s healthy or unhealthy, but they only really have their own experiences to base that opinion off of so you really need to look at how reading this stuff makes YOU feel. No one else is allowed to determine whether something is good or bad for you unless they’re a liscensed professional, and even then you know yourself. It’s not wrong to seek out this sort of thing whether it’s helpful or harmful, it’s actually quite normal in both directions, and it doesn’t make what happened your fault. You’re processing and healing in your own way, so is everyone else. For some people reading things similar to their experiences helps them move on from the actual experience. As long as it’s not harming you I don’t think it’s a bad thing.

[trauma-coping]

I’ve been through both sexual abuse for a year and rape years after. My grandmother told me I got abused because I don’t love myself. It makes me feel worse what can I do to make her understand. I already feel like it’s my fault I don’t need it told to my face

Your grandma sucks. It’s never your fault.

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Is it considered something(bc I really feel Im overreacting and in the process of talking abt w/my therapist)if its in a doc office,exam of some sort,n touched somewhere that shouldnt b t LONGER THAN A SECOND by doc,made out to b funny but then u stay silent and start questioning it like what??That actually didnt feel normal or okay in the slightest?? Should I say something? I spoke up abt it 1st time after maybe 8-10yr of it occurring. Im 19 now(couldnt check faq from phone-ok if u dont answr)

I’m sorry this ask really confuses me due to wording?

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is it my fault for others possibly getting hurt by my abuser? i didn't know those cousins of mine existed until recently bc we never talk to that side of the family..i had no clue. but they're older now n *abuser* lives near them. I already warned parents i know who have contact w my abuser n they thanked me but I don't think it will go well telling the sisters of *abuser* ik they will get mad. is it my fault if someone gets hurt?ive already been told he won't get convicted bc of his illness..

It’s never your fault. You aren’t responsible for his actions, ever.

[trauma-coping]

I’ve never been invalidated about my mental illness, especially since they pushed so hard to diagnose me in the first place. But when I started crying because I didn’t understand the social cues and everyone started yelling they told me that my symptoms weren’t a result of my illness and that I should be able to ‘just get past it’, sorry to vent I’m just, tired.

That is invalidating them. People are ableist without thinking a lot of the time, they think once you have a name and some form of treatment it should all go away, but it doesn’t work like that.

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im sorry to vent like this but i always feel like i don't count. i was emotional growing up and, whenever i cried, I got whopped. usually i started crying after my great grandma or momma yelled at me and of course i would cry but i hate being yelled at. but if i were to bring it up to anyone, i get treated like a joke cuz "that's just how we're raised." my grandma and her husband even laughed about one incident like it was some fond memory. im sick of it.

I hate the phrase “that’s how I was raised” it excuses abuse and bigotry on a constant basis. Your experiences are perfectly valid.

[trauma-coping]

I just found your blog, and I want to say... something positive? I can’t find the right words. I love your art? I support you? I’m sorry? I don’t know... You’re great, just letting you know.

Thank you!