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Jude’s exile from Vivi’s perspective

a short fic I wrote ((((:

word count: 707

Heartbreak is not something I’m experienced in. I doubt most of the folk are. Most of them think we can’t even get our hearts broken, so maybe it came as a surprise when Heather broke mine. 

I can’t tell if I’m less or more experienced in other peoples heartbreaks, but I sure can tell Jude just had one when she shows up at my apartment door with red rimmed eyes and her head held low.

“Jude?” I say, taking in her disheveled appearance. “What happened?” 

My sister stumbles into the apartment behind me, immediately falling into a sitting position on the couch. The despairing look in her eyes is almost haunting.

“He exiled me, Vivi.” Her voice is rough, like she’s been crying or she hasn’t talked in awhile. “He exiled me.”

She sounds weak when she says those words, tired and beaten. Broken.

So I am surprised when she gets up and throws the nearest vase against the wall. She screams like I have never heard her scream before, and then she sits back down on the couch and puts her head in her hands.

I do nothing but watch in shock and confusion.

The days after Jude shows up are only filled with more sadness. Now that there is two of us suffering, it feels like the despair is echoing off walls and won’t stop ringing through the small space of my apartment.

Jude sits on the couch with a bowl of cereal and watches bad quality mortal shows. I make food for her that she barley eats and try to explain to Oak what happened with Jude in the easiest way possible.

 I think it’s hard for him to swallow seeing his brave, knife-wielding, king controlling older sister broken and blue. Sitting on the couch looking mortal, for the first time he’s ever seen.

I think at one point even in my mind Jude had become like the folk. She was clever, and brave, and smart. Now she was heartbroken just like me.

Not that she’d ever admit it. I know she still claims to hate Cardan, but I can see it in the way she talks about him and cries over him at night.

I think she loved him.

Jude is the Queen of Elfhame. It took me awhile to understand that when she told me, and it’s not any easier now that she’s in the living room mindlessly watching television.

But she is. She’s the Queen of Elfhame, and not only is she mortal, but she’s also exiled.

I’m a faerie, but I’m in love with a mortal who doesn’t understand our world or me. I’m heartbroken just the same, yet I feel obligated to fix Jude’s problems along with mine.

I let out a breath and rest my head on my arms. Maybe Jude has it right. An easier life is a better one.

I know I’d rather be watching cartoons than be the Queen of Faerie.

So the days go by full of nothing but sadness and a feeling of waiting. Jude gets dangerous jobs she doesn’t need, and I continue to text Heather nonstop well also taking care of Oak and trying to figure out where Jude is half the time.

When Taryn shows up, I’m not sure I want her here, and I know Jude definitely won’t, but it almost feels like a reprieve from the cycle.

I let her into the house.

When Jude comes home, and they go into their natural course of fighting, once again I am waiting. 

This time, I’m not surprised with what happens. Jude chooses to go. 

I don’t know Jude as the Queen of Faerie, or even Cardan’s seneschal. I don’t know her as the haunted girl who showed up at my door and who sits on the couch for hours.

I know her as my sister, loyal and protective even to Taryn, who has betrayed her more times than I can count. So we send her off with worries and wishes, to pretend to be Taryn and face the man who exiled her.

When me and Taryn go back into the apartment afterwards, it feels like all I’m doing is more waiting. More wondering.

And then Grima Mog knocks on my door.

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don’t know if anyone’s talked about this but imgonnagetyouback is so jurdan coded!!

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spending a lot of time writing but then reading it back and realizing you don’t even like it<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<