verytalefart

[verytalefart]

Rainy Days And Slippery Slides

- Samiksha

Have you ever been so worn down by your life's challenges that you thought to yourself, "I'm done!"

My life had been a garbage can for a long time before I realized it was trauma. These challenges in my life appear to me to be a game, and no matter what happens, I always seem to lose. One mission is more difficult than the other.

When I was younger, I used to wonder when it would all be over. This isn't for me because I'm still too young. Yes, I understand that these conflicts cannot arise in line with your age or living conditions. But I've been juggling hundreds of things for the past 20 years of my life.

Whenever I have a joyful episode, it is usually followed by a traumatic experience. It was either my father spouting crap about everyone or something else.

By the way, do you know the series Euphoria, which stars Zendaya? That was a great series!! We're not talking about euphoria here, but rather the level of pain and grief that rue endured. I'm not going to try to match it!

I'm amazed by how everyone is built differently, but when it comes to trauma, they frequently forget the same thing: that we are all different! Everyone is damaged differently.

This situation, I'm sure, it helps everyone feel strong. But this is the time in your life when everyone offers you sympathy, and that's not what I wanted.

I wanted to flee from it. Far, far away from those people and their words. Well, something similar did happen.

After several months of rainy days of my frustration, I recently resumed my cooperative working routine. And one of my favourite parts of my work is that it is too far away from my home. I enjoy the 2-hour drive which brings me to my travel dreams.

I've recently become very interested in going out. Strangely, one thing I've seen is that people don't criticize you while you're out in a crowd. I found a strange comfort in going out every weekend. Holding hands, I love exploring unknown streets.

I never saw myself bingeing on travelling and giving some rest to my books and phone.

Day by day, I found new ways to distract myself. It was time to travel this time. Let's see how far I can take it. Let's cross our fingers and hope for the best.

You can do the same thing. You can try to make a list of stuff that you can do to distract yourself. You can go shopping, practice mindfulness, and the list goes on and on.

So, let me end this blog here. Thank you so much for sticking with it all the way to the end. And I'll see you again soon. In the meantime, take care of yourself.

(Please keep in mind that I do not own any of the rights to these images. They were sourced from Pinterest.)

[verytalefart]

After Living So Many Lives.

By Samiksha.

Between the traumatic schooling experience and fighting parents, one thing I learn is how to layer my emotions to create a separate personality that fits well in that specific setting. I learned to adjust my personality traits whenever someone spoke to me.

My life appears to me at times to be a play. The character casting is a disaster. Even as a director, I have no idea where my story is heading. I used to play roles that were lenient in school, rebellious at home, and idiot in front of the people I used to call my friends. I didn't know who I was in the midst of all these individuals.

Is it possible that I am the one who is lenient? Who's the idiot? Or is it the rebellious one? Who am I, exactly? Basic sense, I'm a muddled individual. All these personalities was enough to give a second-hand embarrassment to front liners.

When I go back to my teenage self, I always had a cringe sensation that no matter how hard I tried to fit into one's box, I always become an annoying person.

You know who the other characters usually refer to as "Entertainment." Yup. I was that one. A character who isn't humorous. And with a plot twist: I used to say to myself, "Oh, it's only a joke, right?"

I'll give you an example: at my last job, there was a boss who used to utter unsolicited crap about me in front of everyone, all under the guise of "I'm the boss, I can say anything." So I remained silent although I had a lot to say in my defense. What did I do that was so strange? I'm not sure why I didn't stick up for myself.

Is it because I don't want them to have a taste of their medicine? Why? because it may do damage them. What about me, though? This is a loop that I frequently find myself in. To avoid hurting anyone, I played the sacrifice game with my self-esteem. People sometimes wonder, "How foolish can someone be?"

I got to a conclusion on this since I was so absorbed in this personality trait and embarrassment. "Say whatever comes to mind," in other words, don't be harsh, but be true to who you are and surround yourself with folks you care about and admire. And convey your feelings and thoughts to people in the finest manner possible.

To be honest, it took a few 'why?' moments for me to arrive at this conclusion. And, After living so many lives I chose to portray the main character in the play, on whom the play is based.

Meanwhile, I'm working on my personality development to give her the character arc she deserves. I must admit that without my overthinking talent, I would be unable to come across this thought and strive to be the best version of myself. Overall, I'm satisfied with who I am.

I do consider my life as a play. Life may be a song, a game, or anything else for you. Simply play around with it to see what happens.

Thank you so much for staying with it until the end. See you next time, and until then, be who you want to be.

( Please keep in mind that I do not own any of the rights to these images. They were sourced from Pinterest.)

[verytalefart]

A gentle reminder, healing happen in layers.

- samiksha.

A Gentle Reminder,

It's fine if you don't feel like this is your year; if you're demotivated, or worried. Bring that warm gleam of good deeds from the previous year into the new year and keep it close. And I hope it continues to grow and prepare for a new era.

A Gentle Reminder,

You don't have to be productive all of the time; if you couldn't get out of bed today.

Every day, you make an effort to be a better version of yourself. Keep in mind that self-care is also a form of productivity.

A Gentle Reminder,

Mistakes are appreciated. You have infinite opportunities to change your mind. You can go at your own pace when looking for an answer. There is no such thing as being too late or too early.

A Gentle Reminder,

Growth leads to change, and change leads to opportunities to grow through whatever you're going through. It's never too late to start over with a new perspective and mindset.

A Gentle Reminder,

Take a moment, relax your shoulders, and realign yourself. Take a deep breath in and out gently. It's all going to be fine. I admire you for not giving up. You are adored and incredibly strong. You got this.

A Gentle Reminder,

Self-care isn't about taking a bubble bath, or lighting scented candles; it's about taking a break, saying "No," and setting limits.

A Gentle Reminder, Healing happens in layers.

Thank you so much for sticking with it to the end. I hope that brightened your day a little. ❤️

( Please keep in mind that I do not own any of the rights to these images. They were sourced from Pinterest.)

[verytalefart]

A Strong Wrongness.

- Samiksha.

I remember having a strong belief that whenever I'm talking to someone, they aren't paying attention to what I'm saying and are instead staring at my flaws the entire time. That they'll cut me off in the middle of a conversation to ask, "what happened to you?".

I pushed too hard to make friends, but because I was frequently ignored, I began to expect people to notice me first. This stemmed from insecurity. I wanted to avoid ignorance by waiting for people to be good to me first. The drowning pool.

Allowing them to make fun of me just to be more involved in a conversation. That gives the impression that I am the most unfriendly and annoying person you have ever met.

It feels like to be drowning and toxic. As if you were drawing something on a white background with a white crayon! Useless.

I entered the world only to be told repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, how undeserving I was. These buried thoughts frequently stem from long-ago experiences that hurt me and continue to influence my present and place a lot of pressure on me to appear flawless.

I was at a wedding on that certain day, and I remember seeing the girl with a lovely face and tall stature. I felt that if I looked like her, I'd be able to solve 99 per cent of my problems. But for a little moment, it arises to me that it's fine; I'm not as beautiful as she is; instead, I'm beautiful as myself.

These negative thoughts had been running through my head for years. Those wheels had been spinning for a long time, but the car had not moved.

It reminds me of how I spent hours worrying about how I look and ended up cancelling that plan, only to stand in front of my bathroom mirror chanting, "I love myself." This won't work unless I start accepting myself with all my flaws.

I'm beautiful as I am.

I'm beautiful because I've chosen to be myself rather than someone else.

I'm gorgeous because I'm always learning and growing to become the best version of myself.

I'm beautiful as a white crayon who draw stars around the darkness.

It's not about being perfect; it's about being true to oneself. And this makes me extremely happy.

Thankfully, I understood the assignment! Hehe.

Thank you so much for sticking with it to the end. I hope that brightened your day a little.

( Please keep in mind that I do not own any of the rights to these images. They were sourced from Pinterest.)

[verytalefart]

Moving My Body for her.

- Samiksha

During this sudden quarantine, I learned a lot about my body, mental health, and its necessities. Quite a bit more than before. Working out had never been my thing until the pandemic entered.

Under my full misperception of rest, I never really look at myself and opt to give some form of action to my body. I had no idea what work-life balance meant. I felt guilty for not being productive because every day seemed like a long weekend to me.

Without realizing that physical activity could be an alternative therapy for anxiety, I began looking for free workout plans to do indoors as a broke college student.

I decided to kick my "nervous system" to distract myself.

Doing a Chloe ting plan was the polar opposite of what I expected; it was less time-consuming and increased the body's beaming endorphins.

I began to like the sweat, the engaged cores, day after day, set by set.

The endorphins released naturally by exercise improve my post-workout emotions of "euphoria."

Later, after completing this 35-day program of consistent exercise and a healthy habit, I noticed an improvement in my sleep schedule and stress reduction. It does help me in improving my mood, increasing my energy and stamina, and decreasing my exhaustion, which can boost mental alertness.

It helps to manage my body's built-in alarm clock by giving my mind something else to focus on, such as maintaining a constant breathing pattern. It motivates me to get out of bed and move.

For me, exercise is a mood enhancer. I'm looking for anything that makes me happy.

I was first anxious about making such changes. But I'm much stronger and healthier now than I was before. Taking a day off after a HIIT workout, improving new hobbies, prioritizing my mental health, making time for myself and my people, and enjoy being lazy once more. I began to feel naturally inspired, passionate, and far more creative.

One thing I'm thankful for is that I didn't set any unrealistic physical goals; having a slimmer physique and the ability to climb a hill without getting winded, or a body like a supermodel.

It often happens before you realize it, a huge boost in the 'self-love club'. It's just one of the numerous benefits of physical activity that improves the body, mind, and spirit, and I'm all for it.

Overall, I'm trying to take comforting baby steps towards happiness.

Until then take care of yourself, and don't forget to take your endorphin pill by engaging in any physical activity that suits you and helps you to achieve your goal.

I hope you found this tidbit helpful and uplifting. Thank you for sticking it out until the end. I appreciate the time and effort you put into this.

Thank you very much.

( Please keep in mind that I do not own any of the rights to these images. They were sourced from Pinterest.)