weird-crap-my-sister-says - Tumblr blog

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Monday, September 7, 2020

my sister: you know what i do when i run out of water?

me: cry?

my sister: i go buy some soda

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Monday, September 7, 2020

me: it’s transylvanian

my sister: actually it’s romanian. this isn’t an animated movie, it’s a book.

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Monday, September 7, 2020

my sister: excuse you i’m lazy by nature. attack the parasites that control my body

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Saturday, September 5, 2020

*driving*

my sister: why are there so many people on the road? I didn’t authorize this.

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

this post is the best way to describe my sister

I use the 😌😌 emoji far too often for someone who has not felt inner peace since they were 11 yrs old

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Thursday, September 3, 2020

my other sister: it’s the ears for me

my sister: *very offended* my ears are cute!

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Excuse me, I don't smell. And if I did, it would be like vanilla.

weird-crap-my-sister-says

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

I'm starting my bedtime routine, I'm getting on Instagram

weird-crap-my-sister-says

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

I feel like I'm really good at the things I'm good at, but that's like two things

weird-crap-my-sister-says

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

The Signs As Things My Sister Has Said

Aries: What did I do to deserve this? I'm a good person, I follow a solid 60% of the laws.

Taurus: I kinda wanna punch someone, but really I just want to sleep. So: Dilemma.

Gemini: I don't know how jail works because I don't plan on ever going, like it's not part of my plan.

Cancer: I don’t know what the speed limit is but I’m pretty sure I’m going over it.

Leo: I'm iconic. I'm actually an icon. Now sit down and let me continue to blow your mind.

Virgo: This is supposed to be really therapeutic but I'm actually just losing my sanity.

Libra: Nothing like cocaine and vodka to make you feel alive!

Scorpio: *to the tune of look what you made me do* I don't like anything about you

Sagittarius: I'm pretty sure we are secretly national treasures but they haven't told us yet so it doesn't go to our head.

Capricorn: I don't even take myself seriously at this point

Aquarius: Ok but Jeremy Jordan and Sebastian Stan have the same energy to the point where I feel it necessary to repeat this to people I've already told it to.

Pisces: You just made me choke on a smiley fruit snack.

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

my sister: i don’t think there has ever been a time where i’ve had the opportunity to jay-walk and i haven’t done it.

my sister: why is it called jay-walking? what did jay do?

{30 seconds pass in silence}

my sister: [gasp] he walked!

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

We are making noises with our noses. That's all breathing is, really.

weird-crap-my-sister-says

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

[a family dinner]

my sister: guys! i broke the system. and by that i mean that i watched a tiktok where someone else broke the system.

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

I just accidentally licked the wall. That is a real situation I put myself in.

weird-crap-my-sister-says

Monday, August 24, 2020

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

Jack Kerouac (via quotemadness)

ok but this is literally my sister.

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

Would you mind just getting good please? Thank you

weird-crap-my-sister-says

Sunday, July 19, 2020

[weird-crap-my-sister-says]

I've decided to completely  reinvent myself because I feel like I'm still broken.

weird-crap-my-sister-says

Friday, June 26, 2020