yagmanx - Tumblr blog

[yagmanx]

Being single at Christmas can be hard. It's a time that is filled with songs, films and posters of love and companionship between two people. Because of this it's not hard to see why some people feel as though they're not good enough to experience the media's perception of a 'perfect Christmas' and begin to fall into a spiral of negativity. But if you find yourself falling into that spiral then I implore you to rethink your situation. Just because you don't have one singular person doesn't mean that you don't have people surrounding you who want to be there for you, who will happily go on a date night or have a cosy night in with you. Love doesn't have to be reserved for one person only and if you have multiple people in your life then this just means more people to treat at this time of gift giving and appreciation ❤ being single does not equal being alone. I count myself lucky to have so many beautiful people surrounding me to take on dates, to watch films or play games with, to laugh and cry with. If you focus on accepting and loving yourself, and then appreciating and being there for the people that you love then the pressure of finding 'the one' suddenly becomes less of a big deal. You'll find self confidence, you'll be surrounded by people who are good for you, you'll be more happy. It's okay to want more, but please realise that you are enough just as you are ❤ . #datenight #singleatchristmas #singlepringle #christmasdate #xmas #christmasdinner #ginger #redhead #redhair #gingergirl #gingersofinstagram #brunette #frienddate #friendship #candlelitdinner #cosyclub #love #loveyourself (at The Cosy Club) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6dxqdEFREp/?igshid=1j2rh70etl6dw

[yagmanx]

You dont need a lot of money to be adventurous and try new things 💪 This year I was strapped for cash after moving to another city, but wanted to try out many different fitness classes. I enjoy learning, but when my mind tires or becomes overwhelmed I like to focus on what my body can do. Luckily most classes have a free taster session or offer discounted courses! I had the pleasure of meeting many different people and understanding what worked for me and what didn't through martial arts, yoga, pole and hoop lessons. I'm looking forward to dedicating more time into developing my aerial skills in 2020 as well as finally committing to a fighting-style class... If I'm brave enough... Cus why the hell not 🤷‍♀️ . #aerialhoop #aerial #aerialpose #aerialphotography #aerialist #aerialbeginner #fairylights #fitnessfun #ginger #redhair #redhead #gingersofinstagram #gingergirl #balance #flexibility #pushyourself #fitness https://www.instagram.com/p/B6aUwCtljr_/?igshid=19zpj8zcqckyv

[yagmanx]

Find someone who looks at you like I look at trees 💚🌳 . #nature #redhead #trees #wistmanswood #dartmoor #moorland #nature_perfection #naturelover #ginger #gingersofinstagram #gingerhair #gingergirl #redhair #smile #happy #treehugger #naturephotography #moss (at Wistman's Wood) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6YRQ88FCip/?igshid=1275pucy41ave

[yagmanx]

2019 has been a year of getting to know myself: Understanding why I shy away from situations others might strive in. Understanding why I deal with seemingly normal situations in such deep ways. Understanding why myself and those around me question my actions without me being able to give a definitive answer. The answer I found is acceptance. Or at least the road toward acceptance. To realise that even your flaws have positive aspects, it all makes you unique. You aren't like anyone around you but that doesn't mean you 'should' or 'must' change yourself to fit into someone else's mould. There's a lot of negativity in the world right now. Don't let that rub off on your view of yourself. Keep listening to what you truly believe in and striving toward what makes you smile without even realising. If you can't find that then there's no harm in taking some time out and learning yourself again, paying for a service nearby that can lend you a helping hand. We all need that at times ❤ . #selfie #blueeyes #clown #ginger #orange #autumngirl #ootd #gingerhair #gingergirl #shirt #nosering #poser #loveyourself #bedroomselfie #gingerwoman #gingaminga #redhead #redhair #selfacceptance #selflove #gingersofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B6P44qzlZW6/?igshid=18pwmkq5pul5k

[yagmanx]

Honey, I'm home 🌳🍁 . I am so grateful to have found nature and to know that it's always there when I need an escape. Growing up by Dartmoor, I was lucky enough to enjoy it from an early age. Playing in the vast woodland alone; making up tales of fairies, goblins and banshees and keeping my eyes out for pesky pookahs in the trees above me. I believed whole heartedly in the life of the forest and am fascinated to this day by the folklore that surrounds it. It's shaped who I am and continues to be a place of solitude 💚 Photo credit to @thatberry 📸 #naturelover #nature #forest #woodland #trees #moss #dartmoor #wistmanswood #folklore #hauntedwoods #hauntedforest #creepy #spooky #scary #horror #ginger #redhead #gingerhair #sillhouette #walkinthewoods #aloneinthewoods #windingbranches #treebranches #treemoss #natural #landscapephotography (at Wistman's Wood National Nature Reserve) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6MZSyOlKTo/?igshid=198idmdurgbah

[yagmanx]

I used to get intimidated by the thought of going to the gym. I'd much rather run outside or do handstands in a garden but since I've met @annieheijna she's helped me realise that the gym doesn't have to be a place of intimidation and competition. I still sometimes (a lot of the time) am not sure what to do when I get there but she's always happy to show me some new exercise that I could never have done without being in a gym. I don't have strength goals but I do have trick goals and believe it or not I need to work on my strength to hit those goals 💪 so here's to a new hobby and a new personal trainer / friend: one of the best things to happen in 2019 🌟💕 The last gym sesh for 2019 and @annieh_fitness and I decided to try the bird for the first time in months and managed to hold it better than ever before! Swipe for video🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ . #gymnastics #gymbuddies #gymselfie #yoga #yogapartner #acroyoga #bird #birdpose #ginger #redhead #yogavideo #balance #strength #progress #gymsesh #personaltrainer #core #legday #gympartner https://www.instagram.com/p/B6FrAAUlSq0/?igshid=tp5ry7w1h0qw

[yagmanx]

My truth: I am never sure of anything that I do. I never feel confident in my skills. I never feel like I belong. But despite all this, I push through. Sometimes it feels like I'm breaking through a physical wall, sometimes I cry before or after, sometimes I am fighting the urge to give up or run even when on the outside I'm smiling assuredly. My newest video explores the universal feeling of imposter syndrome and it's been so wholesome to read all of the comments so far ❤ Nothing is ever easy, but the people you look up to have felt the same as you, they have doubted themselves, they have faced rejection and failure, they have had to force themselves to carry on even when they were close to losing hope. Don't let your negative thoughts hold you back. . I'm so happy to be working with @nsayuri.art on some videos, having her quirky sense of humour injected into them makes me so happy and it means that I don't have to stare at my mug as much anymore (but she does 😉) I hope you enjoy them. If you get the time go and check out her art, she's so talented 🌟 . #meme #interview #terminatordarkfate #terminator #terminatordarkfateinterview #terminatorcast #mytruth #scared #impostersyndrome #redcheeks #embarrassed #funnyvideo #video #youtube #youtuber #ginger #redhead #gingergirl #gingerhair #redface #smile #awkward #gingerwoman #fakeit #fakeittillyoumakeit https://www.instagram.com/p/B5_M8DWFvFR/?igshid=1gv6byspjb5sv

[yagmanx]

"It's easier for you because you're a girl" 💁‍♀️ Anyone who ever said this to me is now long gone out of my life physically, but unfortunately their words linger. I find myself questioning my worth, questioning others intentions, questioning sincerity about comments on my work and career, questioning whether I can even claim my achievements to be valid. I find myself pushing to prove that I am more than my gender. There's more to a person than just being male or female and whether their outward appearance looks appealing to you or not. Any person of any appearance, gender or culture, has the right to be seen for their hard work, for the knowledge they set out to acquire, for the ideas they created, for their failures, for their accomplishments and for the acknowledgment that they have gained along their journey. Yes, I am a girl, I like to dress up, I like to look nice. But I also taught myself JavaScript alongside school, changed a whole course to accommodate my curiosity for the game dev, saved up money and moved to London to gain experience and did it all over again to study my ass off to be where I am today: in the game industry ❤ Luckily, now that I'm here, these words are never spoken to me in the present, only echoed from the past every now and then within the darker corners of my mind. . #girlsintech #girlsingaming #girl #girlgamedev #gamedev #dress #outfit #ootd #ginger #redhead #lacetop #lace #gingergirl #videogames #womenintech #womeningames #christmasparty #gingerhair #dressedup https://www.instagram.com/p/B51LGcfFiPp/?igshid=jch2vs735xlg

[yagmanx]

Don't underestimate the power of true friendship ❤ Nobody has been there for me, understood me, been patient with me, accepted me for my positive and negative traits and still loved me like my friends have. They've stuck by me through time, distance and life changes and I'm so lucky to have them all (you know who you are 😙) . Feat the beautiful @ktkc123 👑 Photo credit to @braden.may 📸 #christmas #friend #friendship #thankful #grateful #girls #dressup #christmasparty #christmastree #xmas #ginger #redhead #lace #blonde #gingergirl #blondehair #gingerhair #girls #kiss #cheeky #christmaslights (at Hilton Brighton Metropole) https://www.instagram.com/p/B50GQqHFn51/?igshid=e5qe3nslzg4y

[yagmanx]

Skill up: Balance & Flexibility ⬆️ . A couple of years ago I decided to experiment with the boundaries of what my body could do (Spurred on with a desire to fight like Harley Quinn 🤸‍♀️) This was a slow shift in thought process for me, from simply wanting to get into better shape and have a more 'acceptable' body to focusing more on what skills I could achieve and what internal goals I set myself. It became less about appearance and more about developing new abilities. There's so much I could say about the insecurities that I did and still do have, but to see how far I've come from hardly being able to touch my toes or stand on one foot is fulfilling in a way that's about so much more than just what I see in the mirror. I'm doing this for me. I'm proud of how far I've come and I'm excited to see what new skills I can achieve if I keep pushing ❤ . #gym #gymlife #selfacceptance #yoga #balance #stretching #gymnastics #yogee #warriorpose #flexibility #selfimprovement #balancingselfie #balancing #ginger #redhead #gingerhair #redhair #gingergirl #gingerwoman #gymnast #yogapose #proud https://www.instagram.com/p/B5iPCislKTB/?igshid=1xk7kzwky845j

[yagmanx]

Stop taking everything so seriously and just go enjoy life, even just for an hour or two. 🤸‍♀️ Your worries and responsibilities aren't going anywhere so make sure to find some time to live in the present and just enjoy what you have ❤ #ginger #pose #silly #crosseyed #sillyface #tongueout #happy #smile #sillyface #redhead #redhair #orangemakeup #autumngirl #blueeyes #bigeyes #buttonnose #curlyhair #gingerhair #gingerwoman #gingaminga #pink https://www.instagram.com/p/B5Pi9OCFIrw/?igshid=21s5lrtzq3kg

[yagmanx]

Look at me. I exist. Like an unwanted cyst I remain to be seen, calling out the obscene reality of what it is to be alive. Look at me. I exist. Take my hand, I insist. Feel the touch of your guilt as you undress the silk that hides what it is to be alive. Look at me. I exist. An outline through the mist of your world in which I'm so easily dismissed, As stale breath on cold skin, An outline of a mould you thought I'd fit in. Fingers shaping what's within to form what it is to be alive. Look at me. I exist. My body, my mind, my kiss. Though your eyes gaze through me I stop and stare, At your empty vessel void of care... Look at me, At the fool I've been. I spent so long trying to be seen that I myself forgot to look. Forgot to acknowledge what I have forsook. To see your panic, To take your hand, To hear your words as you take the stand. Look at me. I exist. Only then do I realise, This is what it truly means to be alive. . #photogrametry #photography #3dmodel #3dscan #humanmodel #3d #photogrammetry #ginger #redhead #3dprint #3dart #lookatme #poem #writtenword #gamedev #photoscan #poet #poetry #girl #redhair #gingerhair #tech #technology #digitalart https://www.instagram.com/p/B5NQyThl14M/?igshid=vop6l7z8lf9a

[yagmanx]

Me attempting to spread positivity, like what else is there to do? 💖 . Photo cred to @ameera.quadri 📸 #colourful #graffiti #brighton #ginger #redhead #geometricart #multicoloured #wallart #art #gingerhair #gingerwoman #posing #wallstreet #walldecor #graffitiart #gingergirl #redhair #gingaminga #colours #poser #streetart (at Brighton, England, UK) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4-NlQxlPWr/?igshid=1urmp8hjf7gbb

[yagmanx]

Sweater has reached over 1000 listens 🎉 It's honestly crazy to me that my songs have reached so many ears. I just hope that they have had a positive impact on those that have listened, that's all I ever hope for ❤ Thank you so much to everyone who has listened to it and to the talented @horizenproductions for producing and playing all the instruments accompanying my little ukulele. . You can find the Sweater EP on Spotify, Google play, Apple Music or any music platform you use 🎶 . #spotifyartist #spotify #ep #musician #sweater #song #originalmusic #indieartist #unsigned #indiemusic #independantmusic #ukulele #folkmusic #album #originalsong #sweatersong #thankyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B47UQFqlIdC/?igshid=xhn7l7iw85zp

[yagmanx]

After awkwardly defaulting to a thumbs up pose I burst into laughter as @hideo_kojima and Yoji Shinkawa both followed suit with thumbs up of their own👍👍 I'm thankful to them both for hanging around for longer than expected at the Death Stranding experience to make sure that after waiting for 6 hours in the cold, we still got to meet the men who have inspired so many gamers and game devs alike❤ Kojima's clear and unique vision on the narrative, tone and feel of his games is admirable and I'm inspired by people like him, who aren't afraid to try something new, as they're the ones who push the game industry further, showing others the seemingly endless possibilities that this interactive medium provides 🕹 . #deathstranding #hideokojima #yojishinkawa #deathstrandingexperience #thumbsup #gaming #videogame #gamedev #deathstrandinglondon #happy #bigsmile #deathstrandingevent #deathstrandinglondon #smile #awkwardpose #ginger #redhead #redhair #gingerhair #gingergirl (at Camden Market) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Z5iPMlO86/?igshid=z5njdh2a5wyt

[yagmanx]

Happy Halloween 🖤🎃 I've been fascinated with horror ever since I was a child, writing stories from my nightmares that followed me into my adulthood. With the help of Jaime from @horizenproductions I'm finally venturing into sharing these scary stories with you all. Stay tuned for horror stories very soon on my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/YagmanX👻 . #horror #halloween #stories #storytelling #unrealengine #trailer #comingsoon #cinematic #gamedev #unreal #drawings #3dart #2dart #sketch #scary #spooky #horrorstory #film #animation #youtube #horrorstory #horrortrailer #indiedev #indie https://www.instagram.com/p/B4TSHJ9lOsY/?igshid=7pimz8rusfhb

[yagmanx]

Halloween is a mood 🖤 I'll be announcing something very exciting this evening. It's something I've been wanting to start for a very long time. It's also something a few of you have been asking for... In the spirit of today: It's spooky 👻 Don't miss a new video uploading in the dead of night giving you more information 🎃 Happy Halloween every one. #halloween #happyhalloween #spooky #dress #vintage #outfit #gothic #grunge #wednesdayadams #theadamsfamily #ginger #redhead #emokid #emo #goth #blackfashion #blackdress #vintagedress #gingerhair #pigtails #solemn #serious #gingergirl #halloweenoutfit https://www.instagram.com/p/B4SMhNEFbdy/?igshid=1ij4y53wsphrn