#((absolutely not. that is incorrect.))

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Robin!Jason: I wonder if different brands of shampoo taste different

Dick: They do

Jason:

Dick:

Jason:

Dick: Wait, ask me again and I'll hesitate before answering this time.

[fanaticalthings]

While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

---

Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

---

Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

---

And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

[dazzlemebaby]

Police officer: Unfortunately the only person available to pick you up was your brother in law.

James: I don’t have a brother in law.

Police officer: He’s listed right here… Bartemius Crouch Jr.

James: I’ve genuinely never heard that name in my entire life.

Barty, walking in: I’ve been summoned.

James:

James: Your name is Bartemius??

James: My life is a lie

James: How can I go on

[ashoss]

average patrol w hood and wing

[tiger-grace]

Bruce Wayne, being the worlds greatest detective, psychoanalyzing every teammate/hero around him in the JL yet somehow is incapable of doing such to himself

Flash: I feel like I can never open up to the team

Batman: Maybe it’s your problems with emotional intimacy because you maintain a purely comedic relationship with your closest friends and never speak about your serious grievances.

Alfred: sir do you ever think crimefighting directly after the death of Jason may lead you to be more aggressive

Bruce: no why would you say that (slamming fists into low level criminals face)

[ahfrickenfrick]

jason: i physically cannot believe you’re the oldest

dick: wtf why not

jason: i literally heard you ask alfred if you can have wally over for a playdate, you’re 27 years old!! wally is 28 for gods sake, you have your own place!!

dick: …you are NEVER too old for a playdate with your homie

jason: YOU’VE BEEN DATING FOR SEVEN YEARS!!

[lilislegacy]

sally, over iris message: so how’s the semester going? are you studying properly? i know you mentioned having an exam tomorrow morning

percy: shockingly, i think i actually am

sally: okay good. i was worried you and annabeth would spend too much time together and not enough studying

percy: what? no of course not. in fact i haven’t even seen her today since i’ve been studying so much, like you suggested, so we don’t distract each other. we are both totally responsible adults.

sally: aw good! i’m glad to hear it. so quick question, which of your textbooks is responsible for the golden blonde hair i see by your shoulder?

percy, side-eyeing the strands of hair as they slowly get pulled away:

sally: *giving him the mom eye*

percy: having girlfriend time and cuddling is just as important as reading textbooks

annabeth, appearing from her hiding place under the covers: seaweed brain! why didn’t you just say we were studying together?

percy: …that, would have been the more logical thing to say, wouldn’t it?

sally: you know sometimes it really shocks me that you two are still alive

[movienerd22]

Tony: hey good job on the mission kid

Peter: thanks dad

Tony:

Peter:

Clint: (in the vents holding his laughter in)

Peter: I got to go… uh home, yeah home

[fudgecake-charlie]

reprise//reprieve

so, i thought i got off scot free. Wrong! Deltarune: on repeat! in my brain. When i had stumbled onto this in my play-through i straight up cried listening to them finally get to play. toby fox you sly dog, you've made me love the piano again after over half a decade (i've literally had this scene's music on loop for hours now)

bonus sketches i did in a haze of "ohhhh my god"

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Jason: whoops

Dick 'anger issues? what anger issues?' Grayson: Whoops? Whoops? THIS IS NOT A WHOOPS SITUATION. WE ARE FAR PAST WHOOPS. WHOOPS IS A DISTANT SPECK IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR. WE ARE SOLIDLY IN 'OH FUCK' TERRITORY, AND I EXPECT YOU TO ACT LIKE IT!

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[tweetsofyj]

[rhetorical-conscience]

Barty: Wait, I thought you guys were dating.

Regulus: What? No. Why would you think that?

Dorcas: To be fair, I also thought you two were dating.

Regulus:

Evan: Raise your hand if you thought James and Regulus were dating.

Everyone: *raises their hand*

Regulus:

Regulus: James, put your hand down.

[28ms28]

This has been sitting in my drafts for waaay too long

this is part 4! all other parts are here

[adutchlover]

Charles: *hugs Max*

Max: What the fuck was that?

Charles: Affection.

Max: That’s weird.

Charles: *stops*

Max:

Max: I said it’s weird, not that you should stop.

[gothic-twink]

have y'all noticed that antizionists will almost never call a goyische Zionist, a Zionist? it's always "Zionist sympathiser" or something similar to that. i mean, not only does that obviously reveal that, according to them, "Zionist" = "Jew i disagree with". i think it's also to make it seem that only Jews want the state of Israel to exist, ergo "only few people want this".